#you deserve to have emotions and to express them without fear of judgement

[soapoet]

What makes you different...

...from their previous partners?

requested by anon.

like & rb if it resonates ♡

01.

Your person has been through it, and you may have too, which for many of you forms a deep understanding regarding fears of repeating the type of betrayal you have both seen. In comparison to their past rendezvous, they find your relationship very secure. They feel free to voice their thoughts and feelings without guilt or shame, or outright fear of retaliation as they've grown to expect misunderstandings and gaslighting. For many, they have been cheated on, so your honesty, integrity, and loyalty sets you apart from their prior experiences.

I see them taken aback quite often. Their previous relations may have trained them to always anticipate the worst, so the clarity in your communication and how you handle conflict takes them by surprise. They're used to shouting matches and slamming doors. You express yourself when you are hurt in ways that does not tear them down. There's no eye for an eye with you because you're not as spiteful as their past lovers. Really, they simply put don't need to fear you.

They could have remnants of a jealous streak, though it transforms into a protective nature over time as they come to find that they truly can trust you. You play no games made for them to lose, and you do not go out of your way to cause them jealousy or fear the end of the relationship. You're understanding even when you air your grievances, and wish to solve problems rather than create new ones and make it worse and make them regretful they every said anything at all.

They feel safe to allow you much further into their internal world than others before you because you are respectful of what lies beyond the surface and beyond. You're neither judgemental or cruel, petty, and neither are you a bully. The way the two of you are able to relate to each other's history and defining moments inspires an unspoken promise to keep each other safe, and never trespass against boundaries or breaking any agreed upon rules.

Passion, they'll find, holds hands with love, not just with hate. They find your unquenchable thirst and will to engage with and pursue your desires intoxicating. You inspire them where others have knocked them down or ridiculed them. You encourage their passion and make them feel appreciated, even admired. Others have forced them to turn cold, but you reignite their emotional expression, awakening it from its hibernation so that it may come out to play in your spring weather.

02.

Your person has often resorted to selective hearing just to keep themselves both calm and sane. Friends and family would tell them frequently how poorly they choose their partners. They are not quite certain how or why they wound up repeating patterns in the past. Acting on impatience infused impulse they would take prospective partners at face value and believe their facades, exaggerations, and lies. Then before they'd know it, they'd find themselves in commitment with someone falling short of their ideals and what they thought they were signing themselves up for based on promising beginnings which quickly turned sour.

I see them in the past dealing with people first seemingly so deserving of worshipping, only for the tune to change to simply entitled and bratty very quickly. You are clear in your expectations and standards, but you're not loud in your demands, and to them it is refreshing that you rarely make them. This causes them to really take the demands you do make to heart and try to give you what you want or need, or try in earnest to find compromise where needed. After so many partners chewing them out and complaining about this and that at a constant flow of negativity, you're a shocking change of pace.

You're not needlessly argumentative and choose your battles wisely. They're used to practically carrying their partners away from conflict and praying to higher beings they won't even start when they'd just like a peaceful outing or a nice afternoon. The only drama you bring to the table is gossip shared for the two of you to joke about together like best friends, not the kind where they are expected to end fights you started.

By comparison to past lovers, you are mature and ooze worthiness, the kind you don't need to be so loud about. What comes to mind is the demands of princess treatment vs. earning queen treatment. Their past is full of rather immature partners who rarely pursued their own goals, and your ambition, self awareness and sense of self worth rather than ego and chasing empty applause makes them view you as an equal who is truly worth their time, money, effort, and devotion. You're on the same wavelength and it makes the whole power couple thing come so much more naturally.

Not to mention you're much better received by their friends and family. They really have no concerns about bringing you home to meet their family because they know how you carry yourself with grace, and how your charm is genuine. You're very natural and likeable, and don't try too hard. Loved ones may very quickly tell them not to screw this up, and make sure you're always comfortable and feel welcome in their homes, and begin nudging your person very early on to put a ring on it.

03.

Your person has very little experience before you, possibly none for some, at least nothing serious enough to write home about. You fit their idea of love very well, however, and they can feel surprised by how well things go with you. They've heard horror stories from friends and read the reddit posts about wildly tumultuous relationships, and be shocked by their first serious relationship with you.

It's just so easy. You compete only with their solitude, and always seem to win. They find themselves at peace with you more than they ever expected to when sharing so much time and space with another. Things weren't supposed to work out so well in this day and age, and the romcoms were exaggerations, right? Yet they find your relationship so sweet, and stable in its simplicity.

They have a past with some kind of toxicity aimed at them. For some this is family, for others it's a friend. Either way they've been used to making themselves small and to take on burdens of others by force. Emotional labour performed with a gun to their head. They have no qualms about caring for you, and are in fact more than happy to be at your beck and call because you're encouraging of them too. It's quite sad to say, but it seems that either in their family or amongst their peers they've often wound up with a target on their back solely for, well, being an easy target.

You help them stand up for themself, and help them overcome a lot of things which cause them anxiety. They're able to share their thoughts and feelings, express their excitement about their interests and feel heard when they're with you. You may very well share quite a few interests in common, which to them is an entirely new concept as they're used to others finding their interests dumb, childish, or useless. You seem to make equally amazing friends and lovers.

They're very clever and you're one of the first to give them credit for it. You're able to gently coax them out of their shell, and their otherwise cautious nature shifts to a more adventurous and daring one. And this all by no means require great efforts on your part, as by simply being your usual self makes them feel safe enough to be themselves too. You're quite similar in many ways, though you differ in how you come to the same conclusions on different topics, and these variables are small but delightful surprises for the two of you to rejoice over and discuss. You're a very healing and brightening connection in their life, and as thanks they'd fetch you the moon if they could.

04.

There is a lot of chemistry between you and your person, much more than they have experienced in previous relationships. That's not to say they have necessarily all been bad, they just lacked this kind of easy yet electrifying, "meeting of the minds" -type of chemistry. Their past lovers have been drama-free and they've enjoyed very stable relationships, albeit very milquetoast in comparison to you and the relationship you provide. Don't take this the wrong way, but they dated "perfect" long enough to realise it is merely good enough, and you with your various hiccups are more interesting and much more worth their attention. Imperfections are needed and challenges are opportunities to strengthen bonds in ways "perfect" cannot.

Though many of their previous partners have, like they themself, been stable and secure, they have also felt taken for granted, and in some instances, taken advantage of. They're a very reliable and caring person, but have not always had the best luck in terms of finding reciprocal love. More often than not, affections quickly grew monotonous and became routine, leaving them under the impression that love is just that, routine. Gifts and attention easily grew to be something expected of them rather than something truly appreciated and met with gratituse and adoration.

They're dutiful in all areas of life, but find a new pep in their step regarding their romantic duties thanks to you. They find you delightful and full of surprises. The latter being something they perhaps thought was a bad thing for a long time. You keep them on their toes a little. Enough to excite them and keep the sparks flying, but not to the point of making them nauseous. You're different from them, and as they previously dated people much too similar to themself, you're a welcome breath of fresh air, like coming face to face with the sea and its breeze for the first time.

They feel a sense of freedom with you that they never found in their past relationships. Sometimes they may have walked on eggshells, but most of all I see them often turning into a shell of their true self. In their pursuit to stick to a comfortable routine and not upset their previous partners with anything too wild or crazy, they held back on things they wanted, and put running the day to day smoothly above their own interests and whims. Through you they reconnect with these things, and you inspire them to reach for new opportunities and tap into their slumbering zest for life.

The nostalgia you evoke by merely daring to stay true to yourself, speaking your mind and pursuing your own adventures makes their efforts of creating stability in your relationship actually feel worthwhile and welcome. You fascinate them, and every day they learn something new about or through you, which makes them feel more alive. They find themselves reminiscing about how they used to be before, until they slowly take their power back and align more with their true self. Their attraction to you never seems to dull down and they more readily show their appreciation and love for you. You inspire a greater sense of romance in them, and have them thinking very differently about love. Where they previously had their linear idea of how a relationship progresses, they suddenly take more risks and stop thinking about things so meticulously and leave some things up to chance. Where once they would've waited 5 years to propose, they no longer feel the need for these arbitrary and restrictive milestones and simply propose when it feels right.

05.

Your person is quite the whirlwind. They've explored many options in love and life, or at the very least had plenty of offers. None of them ever fit quite right, though, and many may have accused them of being too picky or unreliable due to their flighty nature. You're more akin to them, and balanced in all the right places to match their energy. There is a healthy kind of push and pull between you which keeps things interesting in the long run. Many before you have been demanding in terms of commitment and how that commitment is supposed to look like, and how and when things are meant to unfold. Your love isn't like clockwork, and though you have your ideas and hopes for the future of the relationship, you don't make demands and nag them down to the bone when things don't happen on your schedule.

This actually leaves room for their spontaneity, and keeps their interest alive and well, inspiring them to take bigger leaps in love precisely because restraints don't weigh them down. Others before you have been a little too predictable for them. The scheduling types with their plethora of to-do lists and colour coded planners which only makes them anxious and has them running for the hills. You're willing to explore and experience life, and they appreciate your willingness to at least give things a try, even when you're scared or uncertain.

This isn't to say they would push you beyond your limits or cross boundaries. They've simply dealt with a lot of naysayers and those who are never up to the challenge and would rather not invest their time or energy into something unknown. Unlike those before you, you take a bite of that unfamiliar food, agree to watch the pilot of that show, or pack a weekend bag on short notice to get out of town for an impromptu getaway.

Best of all, when you don't wish to leave your comfort zone you allow them the freedom to venture out on their own, without guilt tripping them into staying or blowing up their phone when they're away, freaking out when they don't respond immediately, or otherwise make their free spirit out to be the worst thing in the world. They return the same energy to you and have no qualms about your individual pursuits and are very encouraging of your prospects, opportunities, and ideas.

I see them watching you sometimes as you engage excitedly with something new that's caught your interest, and they wonder why your kind is so rare. From their perspective, as an eternal seeker, they've met and mingled with so many people, and few have truly been so excitable, finding joy in small things and not being so afraid of the unknown and unexplored. Your aversion of uncertainty and change is healthy, not the kind that immediately loses its marbles and makes mere suggestions out to be a big and horrid deal that threatens to ruin the day. They really revel in the trust that you have in them, which in turn makes them choose to be deserving of that trust every day.

06.

Soapy scribbles: If you're not in the right head space to hear mentions of abuse and trauma, I encourage you to leave this reading for another time. Take good care of yourself, ok? ♡

This one is heavy. Your person has a difficult history with abuse and addiction. Their previous lovers have been unstable and caused them a lot of grief. You're the polar opposite of their previous entanglements, and they are in awe of the fact something so gentle could touch their heart. For a long time they may have blamed themselves and thought they deserved these bad memories. They're hard on themselves and have a lot of guilt and shame for their past mistakes, and may have taken their past abuse as punishment they deserved. Of course they are wrong, and you help them see this.

You allow them room to grow. You're patient where others have given up on them or turned to verbal or even physical harm against them when they haven't performed quite to the standards set upon them. They may genuinely be shaken by your genuine kindness towards them and wonder what they did right to find an end to their darkness.

I must honestly say that I view their previous partners very poorly. You couldn't be more different than what they have seen before you came into their life. The difference is like night and day. You do not keep them walking on eggshells and do not shift from peace to war at the drop of a hat. You're generous with your time and you're understanding of their scars. They need not hide their pain from you lest you would use it against them.

Your presence in their life rewires so many things that were previously all tangled up by others before you. They're able to safely work out their difficulties and face their fears with you by their side. They take your advice and apply it knowing that they can trust you. You may fear dependency, but really I'm seeing them growing whole within themselves by your influence and becoming stronger and more independent as a result of your connection. It's much akin to a phoenix rising from the ashes. Like you found faintly glowing embers in the dark, stuck around quietly watching, and got a fiercly loyal and protective beast for seemingly just being a good person.

They're inspired by your own resilience and strength. Many of you may have been through very dark nights and dying embers too, and your survival story helps motivate them to pursue happiness as something they, too, deserve, and will do anything to return this favour to you for the stability you provided them when they needed it the most.

#pac reading #energy reading #intuitive reading #pick a card reading #love pac #tarot reading #pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #love reading #tarotblr #cw abuse mention #soapy.post

[orchidrene]

What kind of people do you attract+ find yourself being attracted to?

Please check out my paid services if you enjoy this reading. DM for donations and paid readings (payment accepted in WorldRemit (requires a small transfer fee), Google pay and Paytm. Every penny is appreciated. Also feel free to choose multiple piles for this one :). Also your feedback makes me really happy <3.

Note: before some engenes attack me, I see Jay to be more than just a meme, his thoughts and wise words have made me think a lot about the way I view life and has helped me have a more positive yet realistic approach towards life. I'm posting this lego whisper meme only because the pick up line sounds weirdly funny. I'll still remove it if you feel like Jay would be uncomfortable with me using this picture though.

Pile 1

What kind of people do you attract?

I feel like hardworking people are attracted to you, they might be the type to overwork. People who are different from you in their approach to decision making, either you're logical and they're intuitive or vice versa. People who are attracted to you might have gone through a recent or long standing heartbreak. People who might cling onto the memories that hurt them. Might be people who are like "I don't believe in love or fate" just to come across you. You are like a new chance to them. You definitely attract people who take you a little for granted though. They might have the "they're in love with me, they'll never abandon me or get over me" kind of attitude. It is kind of a sad energy though 🗿 they take you for granted so they might date someone else while treating you like you're their partner 💀. My playlist was on shuffle and 'unconditionally' by Katy Perry started playing, I feel like they feel like you would love them regardless of them acting like a douche and treating you like shit. I'm also getting 'dandelion' by Ruth B energy. They feel like your dream is to only have you as theirs and that you could do anything for them. You've surely got a lot of charms considering the fact that you can make people feel so special. It's like they know that you look only for reasons to stick around them even if they keep on hurting you. It's like they could friendzone you and you'll be like "they chose to friendzone me." I feel like they have an illusion that they are totally in control of you which makes them take you for granted. They do care about your feelings though, I'm not even sure as to why they treat you this way. I feel like they feel a piece of them missing when you finally choose to leave them though, you might be someone with genuinely pure emotions causing them to not even being able to hate you and plus it's their fault for not giving you the treatment that you deserve. These people will hold a special place for you in their hearts, forever. (Mostly because they're like "what if I had actually treated them well? What would we become?" You might not even end up dating most of them.

What kind of people do you find yourself being attracted to?

People who can speak without fear? Express themselves and their opinions in an effortless manner. People who are headstrong and know how to make judgement without bias. Self controlled individuals, the type of people who might have a bit of a bad boy/bad girl vibe? If not, just someone who knows how to accept their flaws. Someone who looks cold but is selfless and an unconditional and sweet lover, only for you. Someone loyal and committed. Someone who has eyes and heart only for you. Someone who is kind of emotional? You might like the idea of them crying on your shoulders, trusting you with their emotions and being vulnerable with you. People who might have a lot of people that like them 💀. '505' by Arctic Monkeys is playing, someone you might've liked might listen to artists like Arctic Monkeys, The neighbourhood, Chase Atlantic, etc. People who are a bit pessimistic and hard to open up so you can fill their lives with joy. People that make you feel more creative, confident and happy. Someone who's so attractive that they make you question your own worth. You might be into slow burn but fast and fiery passion. People who unexpectedly enter your life and make it worth living, like a knight in shining armour. Someone who feels like home and can take care of themselves. People who might roast you once in a while and get angry (only at you) but their anger melts away instantly because they have a soft spot on you. Not gonna lie but you might romanticize and be more comfortable with getting hurt. 💀 Maybe you read angst books on Wattpad all day to cry your eyes out or keep on thinking back on past memories while listening to music to forcefully feel the nostalgia. Someone who might inflate or hurt your ego.

Pile 2

What kind of people do you attract?

'Clarity' by Zedd, Foxes is playing. People who are a bit codependent. They want to find their other halves. They are very ride or die though. Hopeless romantics too. They might push people away when they feel like they're depending too much on them emotionally though 💀. Someone who turns cold and becomes a whole different person after pushing you away. People who will never really be able to move on from you. Very nostalgic people. People who like being hurt even though they hate it🕳️👩🏾‍🦯. People who will always care about you even after pushing you away. People who will keep tabs on you. People who have a hard time staying in a healthy relationship, people who are used to tough love and unhealthy relationships. The type to spend the night with you, doing nothing sexual but just talking about life after 4 years of them pushing you away, but trying their best to avoid you from the next day even though they're totally in love with you. They will eventually choose to trust you though. Someone who spends time walking through memories. Someone who really validates you and take cares of everything that you want and need though. Ride or die kind of people. People who need to work through their childhood trauma. People who will forever be grateful to you for teaching them how to love themselves. People who end up laughing or crying while simply just thinking about you. People who tend to live in fantasies, people with the purest intentions. People who have recently gotten out of a relationship? People who push you away because they don't trust themselves, people who might feel like they'll end up hurting you and that you deserve better. Many of your Instagram followers might be attracted to you. The type of people who come off a bit more of the unreachable bad boy/girl types.

What kind of people do you find yourself being attracted to?

You are attracted to people who would do anything for you and people who make you feel like you'd do anything for them too. The type to have a dreamy aura, someone ethereal and otherworldly. People who might be more quiet but still popular, mysterious people to say the least. People who have a good sense of style. People who come into your life when it's falling apart and fill it with happiness, replacing every bit of pain with their love. People who might be similar to you. People who you like so much, you can't help but think about them, be curious about them, the type where you can't resist them no matter how much you try to. Someone who you know would do anything for you. You're into people who you know can't resist your charms. People with a calm and comforting aura. People who know how to comfort others, wise people who overanalyze things and add meaning to literally anything and everything. People who you can read but can't read at the same time. People who spam your phone with texts. People who you know won't give up on you. People who look at the sky while thinking about you. People who consider you while making decisions. People who give you space while patiently waiting. People who might come off extremely detached. People who appreciate you enough to stick with you for a long time or people who don't even acknowledge your existence. People who might elevate you socially, intellectually and emotionally. Someone who you can explore with. Nurturing people who are very understanding towards you. People with common sense. People who care about other people's opinions. People who feel like home. You might be attracted to people with very significant virgo placements, people who are very critical of themselves. People who are in touch with their intuition. Someone who's out of touch with people around them, the popular loner, shy but popular, unreachable but humble person.

Pile 3

What kind of people do you attract?

The kind of people you attract tend to have extremely moderate views on life. People who don't have the strongest opinions. People who walk the middle path. Individuals who are really balanced on their approach to life. People who are content and successful. People who usually have a lot of wealth. People who are good at communicating and love wholeheartedly. People who can express themselves very well. Your friends 💀. People who make really good friends and are blessed with really great friendships. People who celebrate their friends and their own success in a very grand yet intimate manner. People who have been greatly affected by the past events. People who are really influenced by memories even though they try to be balanced. People who choose not to live in the past but instead take from it to build a better future. People who might be clingy towards their significant other. People who spend their energy and time well. People who are publicly recognized. People who tend to isolate themselves and restrict themselves from spending, feeling or being clingy. 'The lovers' came up so I interpret them to be a hopeless romantic. People who might usually not make moves towards the people they like? Fair people who can accept their flaws and faults. You might be like their safe space, you might feel like rest after a long day of work (I think I said it in another pile too.) They might feel safe and relaxed around you. Usually lucky people who tend to get new opportunities as soon as they leave old situations. They will probably not make moves 💀. Usually people with Scorpio placements. People who have a lot of information on others even though they don't really gossip. Someone with a really adorable laugh. "All I wanna do is get good with you." Lol someone with a similar aura to Jay Park's song "all I wanna do." People who have gone through transformations. People who might avoid people from the past.

What kind of people do you find yourself being attracted to?

People who might be in need of help, people who are insecure, tend to overthink and isolate themselves. Overworkers who have gone through a lot but drown themselves into work to distract themselves instead of healing. Someone who doesn't follow their own heart but doesn't follow others' advice either. Someone who exercises self control. Someone decisive, someone who stands up against injustice. Someone who can channel their impulse and insecurities into action and determination. People who are of authority. People who can make decisions without prejudice. People who are clear thinking and just leaders who don't don't partake in favoritism. Someone with unbalanced emotions. People who mentor you. People who build themselves through the past mistakes that they've made. People who are starting a new phase but quite not there. Assertive people with a lot of willpower. People who make you feel like something new is starting. People who are different from you in some sense or the other. People who make you feel the excitement because it's an unpredictable kind of relationship (like not even you had thought that you would end up liking someone like them.) People who you can help by helping them get out of their restrictive and cautious thought process to be more open to receiving and giving love. People who help you stay more happy. People who might get caught up in their heads so you can help them make clear and useful decisions. People who you give hope and vice versa. Someone who you can teach to be less controlling and make them feel relaxed. You're into loners who enjoy working by themselves. People who will definitely treat you special. You might have a capricorn moon or Venus or 11th house Venus.

Pile 4

What kind of people do you attract?

People who are a bit more on the selfish side, people who know how to take care of themselves and put themselves first. People who aren't very fair, people who definitely have favorites and are partial. People who tend to take time out to themselves very often. People who deny their own emotions, people who act different from how they actually feel. People who are confident. People who have been through a lot and have a lot of knowledge. People who respect themselves. Their perspective might be different from most people but it makes a lot of sense. Might have aquarius/capricorn placements. Independent thinkers, people with a lot of mental clarity. People who can speak their minds without fear. People with complex personalities. Nurturing people when they open up to love and trust you. People who care a lot about your well being. Warm people when they care about you. People who might be a bit naive when it comes to dating, people who see a very idealized version of you. People who are open to trying out new ideas and possess a child like curiousity when it comes to life. People who choose to stick with the same people when it comes to social settings. People who have a hard time making decisions but take time with them, very careful and reflective people when it comes to making decisions. People who might confuse you a bit. People who have the ability to create something out of nothing. People who tend to give you mixed signals. People who know how abrupt endings feel. People who take endings very gracefully. People who tend to reminisce a lot. People who try to remain focused but at the same time struggle a lot with it. Intellectual people who carefully analyze situations and people, people who tend to look for the long term but leave if they don't feel the spark. People with grand ideas for their future. People who naturally attract leadership roles. People who know how to create opportunities out of loss. People who are visionaries.

What kind of people do you find yourself being attracted to?

You are attracted to people who cherish and give you a lot without making it obvious, actions are louder than words kinda people. People who will take your side even behind your back, loyal people. People who teach you a lot, also people you can teach something to. People who might hurt you a bit. People who make you think a lot about your mistakes, people who come into your life when it's falling apart and make you feel cared for. People who make you feel calm and peaceful while still making you feel butterflies, people who accompany you during your healing phase. People who give you a sense of security while still letting you stay free enough. People who make you see new sides of yourself. You might have a cancer, pisces or leo Venus. People who have some kind of spiritual views. People who create a lot of illusions and people who you can't help but fantasize about in a sweet way. People who will never get over you and vice versa, might be people that you never end up dating. People who you face a lot of obstacles with. People who make you feel hopeful. People who might have aquarius/sagittarius placements. Someone who you can idolize while still not dehumanizing. People who might take care of you when you physically end up hurting yourself. People that are social but introverted and tend to disappear for months just to appear out of nowhere again. People who make you feel a bit uncertain, like you might unnecessarily overthink the situation and not be sure as to whether or not they ever liked you back. People who are actually pretty critical of themselves and push you to be better. You might be a critical person too, you might expect a lot in relationships and they tend to be so different from all that you imagined but still make you feel really satisfied. People who heighten your standards. People who have a soft spot for you. You might enjoy the sexual tension you feel between each other. I'm getting you feeling like they like you back, them actually liking you back but never expressing it verbally and might actually roast you a bit but still treat you special and would do anything for you. You both still looking for each other in social settings but not expressing your romantic feelings anymore. Someone you're acquaintances with and flirt with in an awkward manner but still feel really close to. I'm getting slow burn. 3rd house Mars synastry might be significant. "You right" by Doja Cat might explain a lot.

#kpop #pick a card reading #pac reading #pick a picture #pick a pile reading #pick a pile #free readings #tarot cards #shufflemancy #pac #intuitive #intuitive reading #intuition #channelled messages #mars synastry #channeled songs

[finelinens]

i’m going to be speaking abstractly about grooming under the cut, so please scroll past this post if you’re not in a place where you can read that kind of discussion. taking care of yourself is more important than anything a random artist on the internet has to say.

the tl;dr is that i believe all of us on social media must remind ourselves that we are simply individuals using the internet. it’s not our jobs to provide press releases explaining how we feel about each new bit of news in great detail. i also believe that all of us owe compassion to each other, even when we find ourselves in strong disagreement. i don’t think either of these statements is controversial! but i think writing about it is worth my time.

read on under the cut if you wish~

this has been on my mind a lot lately so i think maybe i would benefit from expressing it. let me start with this: in an ideal world, we would all be able to trust and believe everyone who claims they’ve been hurt by someone else. we’d be able to hear them, trust them, and help them achieve the justice they want. but we don’t live in an ideal world. we live in a world where people behave irrationally and illogically. trusting every individual you meet, or even just the ones who you believe would be honest with you, can often result in having that trust thrown back in your face when you realize they were dishonest. if much of the world exists in this grey area muddied by moral inconsistencies and judgement, how are we meant to approach any kind of conflict?

are people to be trusted? are people to be distrusted? are people to be regarded with absolute neutrality free of any judgement? i don’t know. i don’t think any of us know, really. many people on twitter, for example, argue for unwavering trust in anyone who comes forward with claims that they were hurt by someone else. simultaneously, these same people struggle to trust their friends who feel differently and believe that unwavering trust is often a misguided choice. i hope that in the future we can all seek more of a middle ground in these kinds of situations; i’d like to see more people being willing to hear out accusers, while saving their thoughts of judgement for the point at which we have all of the information possible. i believe this is the most rational way to approach these nuanced and complicated situations. it’s my belief that we need to abide by “innocent until proven guilty” always, even when it’s hard. we are all owed that much.

as much as i’d love for people to handle these delicate situations with the tact they deserve, i know the internet doesn’t generally behave that way. it is much easier, and more attention-grabbing, to speak in extremes. but i actively try to resist this practice of “speak first think later” so that i can at least feel better about my own ethics and emotions in any given situation. when dream’s sexual misconduct and grooming allegations came out, my initial response was denial. as with many of us, i’m sure, i felt as if i knew dream relatively well. how could someone who seemed so normal do something so abhorrent? i saw the words grooming and pedophilia thrown around, and immediately shut down. i deleted my tweets about my denial, looked at all of the information available, and went offline for a while. i sat with my thoughts. i logged on occasionally to check in on friends and share words of comfort, but for the most part i allowed myself to process my emotions without feeling a need to rush to a conclusion.

i feel that many of us are pushed into feeling as if we need to immediately write a press release every time a new controversy arises. there’s this fear of our peers, even our friends, judging us and thinking we’re morally bad people if we don’t respond the “right” way instantly. what if they think i’m a bad person? will they write a thread? will i receive a callout post? will i lose all of my friends? will my peers think poorly of me? so much of our socialization online is rooted in this paranoia and fear of a looming boogeyman who could ruin your life at the push of a button. so we write our threads. we write our notes app statements. we make it clear to our peers that, “hey, i’m not one of the bad guys. i’m good. i’m your ally. you can trust me, because i’m on your side. the right side.” as if that guarantees us any safety from their changing minds and shifting moral goalposts in the future.

i have cited this study about social media discourse an unbelievable number of times, but i learn something new with each read. there are many studies that have been done in recent years analyzing the way that we all use social media as a tool for self-expression and developing our own social and political ideologies, and i think it’s a wonderful thing. this quote in particular is relevant to what i’m discussing now:

“[…] polarization may be attributable to multiple factors, rather than solely to social media or digital online environments themselves. However, there is little disagreement with the notion that public discourse on social media platforms is particularly prone to conflict and outrage. That is, moral outrage in the digital age is common and often especially intense. Moreover, the prevalence of such outrage is particularly concerning given research showing that outrage occurring on social media is often quickly realized but imprecisely pointed at diverse potential targets.”

admittedly, i have not looked for any research regarding this topic (although i am excited to do so once i’m done writing this), but i believe that there is one major motivator for the palpable increase in social media discourse in recent years: to put it simply, the world sucks. for the better part of the last decade, we’ve all been reckoning with the fact that the united states of america is quickly spiraling into radical fascist-leaning politics where many of us are having our rights stripped away, police brutality and militarization is increasing globally, and to top it all off we entered a worldwide pandemic three years ago and many of us are still feeling the impacts. we are all exhausted, frustrated, and angry. we need to expel that energy and those emotions somehow. so many of us chose the internet. go on social media, find someone who you think is annoying, then search for a way to morally justify bullying them until they delete their account. catharsis has been attained. anger has been decreased. yet another successful therapy session!

let’s summarize: trust no one (because they’re bad), but trust everyone (as long as they’re good), and don’t allow anyone to return fire (because only i am allowed catharsis). understand everything (unless it’s bad), but empathize with no one (unless they’re good). the inconsistencies and hypocrisy don’t matter, because many of us are not truly motivated by morals and ethics as we would all like to believe. we are motivated by emotions. a desire to feel accepted, understood, and powerful. no amount of genuine conversation with the goal of finding common ground will help, because often our goals will not be met in the end. still, even with all of this said, we owe each other empathy and compassion. because we are people, and all people are deserving of compassion no matter what.

so, no, i did not “pretend to support victims” when i privately talked with friends about how shocked and upset i was when dream’s sexual misconduct and grooming allegations came out. no, i did not “encourage people to prevent victims from coming forward” when i privately expressed my initial denial. and, no, i did not “abandon [my] morals” when i chose to continue casually supporting dream by watching his videos and drawing fanart. i heard the accuser out, i read all of the information available, and i took in all of the tertiary information that has come out since then. i have applied my own personal morals to this situation and am comfortable with my decision, and i am also comfortable with the fact that i may change my mind later. i am showing myself compassion, the same way i showed my friends compassion when they weren’t sure what to think. i expressed empathy to them and made sure they all knew that i was someone with whom they could speak comfortably, because i wouldn’t judge them based on how they feel about such a complicated situation which is often colored by our own personal experiences with older people online.

i know that the internet is not a place where we should expect great empathy and compassion from strangers, but i don’t think it’s out of line to ask that we all make an effort to show this empathy and compassion to our own friends. be honest with each other. be there for each other. if you’re unsure of how a friend feels and want to understand them better, try to open up an honest conversation. it might not work out, but just give it a try so that you can know you tried to encourage this kind of compassionate and emotionally honest environment on social media. we live in a complicated, morally-grey, and often really shitty world. the least we can do is be kind to each other whenever we can, especially online where we can all feel so isolated.

i’ve never posted something serious like this before so if you read this far, thanks! clearly i’ve been thinking about it a lot and i’m happy i expressed myself. i don’t know if i’ll answer asks about this if i receive any, but i do hope that i prompted at least a few of you to contemplate how we approach controversy on social media. just more people being aware of what we do and the ramifications is enough, to me. thank you for reading!

#grooming tw #reblogs or screenshots are fine

[bi-bard]

I Can't Control the Overflow, Emotions Rolling Like a Stone - Genya Safin Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: I Can't Control the Overflow, Emotions Rolling Like a Stone

Pairing: Genya Safin X Reader

Word Count: 1,545 words

Warning(s): mention of injury, mention of Genya's past (very, very vague SA mention)

Summary: [Inspired by "Crushing Me" from Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies] In which Genya has to deal with feelings that are going to interfere with her work.

Author's Note: First of all, I don't want an ounce of judgement for this, got it? Second of all, Genya deserves a bit of softness because we just can't give the poor girl a break.

-----------------

"You can't just fix all of my training injuries."

Genya didn't bother to look away from the burn wound on (Y/n)'s arm when they spoke to her. A rough day training with an Inferni. She just hummed quietly, still dragging her thumb over the skin.

"I'm never going to learn if you do," (Y/n) added.

Genya scoffed.

If that truly mattered, then she would have stopped her habit years ago when they first became friends.

She and (Y/n) had known each other for almost as long as they had been at the Little Palace. Their obligations were far different. They truly had many factors working against the two of them being as close as they were. Their friendship managed to make it through all of that.

And they were both grateful that it did.

There was a small grin of pride when the skin on (Y/n)'s arm ended up completely healed.

"Artwork, truly," (Y/n) complimented. "What would I do without you?"

Genya chuckled. "Still get yourself hurt?"

"Well, that was just mean," they muttered.

Genya rolled her eyes before moving forward in her seat. She touched (Y/n)'s chin, holding their face still as she moved her other hand and ghosted over a wound on their lip.

They both seemed unbothered for a moment. However, as one of Genya's hands fell away, they both suddenly realized just how close they truly were. Genya's eyes went slightly wide while (Y/n)'s mouth remained just slightly opened in some poor attempt to hide a shocked expression.

Oh, saints, life would be so much easier for both of them if these moments never happened.

It was no one's fault but their own. They both had let their feelings follow them through the years. They never entertained them, never confessed them, but the feelings were always there. They hung over the pair's heads like a cloud. Constantly there. Both of them had some understanding of it, but they willfully ignored any and all possibility that such feelings could be shared. Each one in denial of ever being enough for the other. And even if they were, it would never be allowed.

Genya leaned back suddenly, clearing her throat. "Please, be more careful."

There was a small pause between them before (Y/n) mumbled a response, "You too."

Genya's safety.

Another topic constantly on each of their minds that they each seemed to refuse to ever acknowledge.

Those small moments taunted Genya.

She thought of them constantly as she moved from one task to another. Everything became automatic motions. She would be stuck with (Y/n)'s face, voice, thoughts on a constant loop. Even when she was speaking to someone.

It was becoming an interference that Genya feared would come back on her in some way.

Sleep offered little peace. She would either dream of the possibilities if she just moved an inch closer to (Y/n) or she would be plagued with sleeplessness, contemplating finding them and trying to find some peace in being held.

It was both heaven and hell.

Being infatuated with someone offered a cursed sweetness. This innocence of longing and love with this haunting fear of being pushed away if that longing should be known. Or worse, never being able to have that longing be known at all.

Genya always noted how (Y/n) never seemed as affected as Genya did.

They would still smile as bright as ever. They would laugh and ramble and pretend as if the two of them weren't being held apart by whatever cruel hand that the saints had played in the hopes of taunting them.

She saw (Y/n)'s shell crumble once.

They had snuck away somewhere in the dark, both needing a break from the world around them.

(Y/n) had told the story of being dragged from home kicking and screaming. Begging to go home to their parents. Their mother had been sick when they had been taken away. (Y/n) never heard from their parents again, but was convinced that their mother was long gone by that point.

Genya sat and listened with a crumbling heart. She watched a tear roll down their face and instinctually reached out to wipe it away.

Genya was convinced that she fell in love (Y/n) then and there. When this trust between them was so clearly established that nothing felt like it was off limits.

It would be a few weeks later that Genya confessed to what all of her tasks included. She had to beg (Y/n) not to tell anyone or do anything. Their temper was much worse then, still filled with an anger for Kirigan that never truly dissipated. Such anger merely moved to the background.

(Y/n) only agreed because they valued Genya more than anything else they had.

(Y/n) was never clearly as angry as they were that night.

Veiled threats were made at times. Quiet promises of the king's downfall as soon as given the chance.

Genya would force a scoff, mutter about being guilty of treason.

(Y/n) would play ignorant, "I am not saying that any such technique should be used on any member of the royal family. Merely that such a technique would be very efficient if it was needed."

That would usually bring a genuine chuckle from Genya.

Those discussions were reserved for those late nights together. When there was no interruption. No interference.

During the day, (Y/n) remained focused on being happier, softer. A constant source of kindness.

That kindness was what wore down Genya's armor the most. The soft smiles and kind words. The moments of softness that seemed to greatly contrast the world around them both.

And at the end of the day, that kindness would be the reason that Genya broke.

It would be the last ounce of weight before Genya's walls seemed to break. The dam broke.

Genya was in the halls of the Little Palace, watching the sun outside the window as it moved. The hall was empty. It was a rarity. One that she had learned to cherish very early on.

"Genya!"

The whispered call of her name snapped her out of whatever daydream she had been caught in.

(Y/n) walked quickly around the corner, an excited smile clearly painted on their face. Genya couldn't help but smile back at them.

"I have a gift," they explained. That was when Genya noticed their arm behind their back.

"What is it," she asked.

(Y/n) moved their arm, holding out a small pastry sitting on a napkin.

"How did you get that?"

"Rare moment of kindness during dinner," they said. "I thought you would like it more than I would."

Genya took the napkin from them. (Y/n)'s smile was still unmoving as Genya took a bite.

"How it is?"

She covered her mouth to maintain some manners as she responded, "Delicious. You are wasting your treat on me."

"I am afraid that you are wrong about that," (Y/n) chuckled.

"Here," she moved to rip the treat in half.

"You can't give back a gift," (Y/n) refused.

"You can't decide what I do with a gift," she countered. "Now, take it."

(Y/n) dramatically rolled their eyes like it was such an inconvenience to take half of the pastry. They took a bite, letting out a quiet hum.

"That's amazing," they muttered, crumbs already gathering just below their bottom lip.

"And you are a mess," Genya laughed quietly, reaching over to wipe away the crumbs.

"What would I do without you," (Y/n) asked.

"Oh, yes, I'm sure that you would be completely lost without your tailor," Genya said sarcastically.

"I would," (Y/n) replied genuinely. There was a pause as the sentiment sunk in for both of them. (Y/n) tried to push past the moment. "And you would be lost without your Inferni. You would get so bored if you didn't have my wounds to fix up."

Genya chuckled. "I would get tired if all I got to work on was the queen's... bits."

"I did not want to think about that."

"I sincerely apologize..." Genya's sarcastic tone trailed off when she realized just how close the pair of them were.

(Y/n) noticed it too. Their entire face seemed to soften as they did.

Genya's face started to turn red as she nervously pulled her hand away. (Y/n) was ready to mutter out some other sarcastic response in the hopes of covering up the entire event.

Before any word ever slipped from their mouth, Genya leaned forward and pressed her lips to theirs. It was a mere moment before she leaned back again. A second, at most.

(Y/n)'s smile grew wider as they realized what happened.

"I... I should get going," Genya mumbled, face becoming even warmer than they were before.

"Are you sure," (Y/n) asked.

"Yes, I... I'm certain that I'm needed somewhere," she replied. "Thank you for this, by the way."

"You're welcome," (Y/n) nodded. Genya started to walk away. When she was a few steps away, (Y/n) spoke up again. "Genya!"

She turned to (Y/n), eyebrows raised.

"That was... nice," they grinned. "The kiss... it was nice."

She paused for a moment. "I agree."

The pair smiled at each other before each going in their respective directions.

And for the first time in a long time, Genya didn't mind having daydreams of (Y/n) playing while she worked.

-----------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#fanfiction #x reader #imagine #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #genya safin fanfiction #genya safin imagine #genya safin x reader

[lavenoon]

Hi! ✨ GIVE YOURSELF ANOTHER COMPLI- No I'm kidding XD (But you deserve it, so know your writing is wonderful and remember to remind yourself of it now and again yeah?~)

But I come here with an actual question about AU that I thought because of the latest chapter haha! What would you say are the insecurities and other stuff that Robin would share with Sun and Moon vs what they share with Eclipse? Like what type would they rather have Eclipse listen to that they wouldn't feel that good expressing to the boys and vice versa?

(Rest assured I reread comments religiously I do remind myself through those! It's like body positivity vs body neutrality to me maybe? Hard to really look at it as more than just my way to have fun, yknow?)

I think it's less of a clear cut "this they only discuss with Sun/Moon, and this only with Eclipse" - as always, I make it complicated!

It depends a good bunch on what kind of reaction Y/N would want - like with the example from Fragile!

Y/N's fear: Sun and Moon leaving them, for whatever reason, and being alone again. Which is to say the fear of being rejected and ending up isolated.

Sun/Moon's reaction: We would never, we would move heaven and earth to stay with you, nothing will ever make us leave you, we love you!

Eclipse's reaction: Dude, yeah, I get that. It sucks. Every day there's that nagging feeling that today could be it, everything just catching up to you, and then you already know what it's like to not be alone and it just sucks even worse now that you know the alternative

Y/N needs reassurance often enough, to hear that yes, the boys want to stay with them, and will interfere even when circumstances try to separate them.

But sometimes.. Sometimes the reassurance doesn't help. Sometimes hearing "we would never!" just makes you feel worse, because now you feel silly for being scared, when anxiety isn't rational! That's when they need someone who understands, who has those fears, too, and who can tell them "you're not alone in this, and it sucks that you feel like this"

(on a similar note, Eclipse starts sending blueprints and gadgets to Y/N, because he wants them safe, too, but also because apparently being too blasé about injuries runs in the family, and he knows that Sun and Moon don't take the risk seriously enough sometimes. He knows Y/N wants them safe though, too, so he knows if he sends them the stuff, Y/N will make sure that Sun/Moon leave the house only appropriately decked out in security gadgets)

Reassurances about their job Y/N mainly seeks with Sun/ Moon, since they see them in action, and can make accurate judgements about what supervisors might think and how they did on a certain mission.

But if it's just to talk smack about fellow agents that just don't get how to have fun? (Because Sun and Moon pretend they're serious, despite their gimmicks) Someone made a stupid comment that says nothing about their actual talent and expertise? Then they go to Eclipse, because he makes it just so much funnier and shares some stories of his own (which is good for him, too, and reassures him that being eccentric is not just a him thing. Y/N plays up Sun and Moon's little theatrics, too, just for him)

Even between Sun and Moon there's differences - Sun is a lot more action oriented, and will gladly help propose contingency plans and solutions. Moon is a lot more laid-back, and an avid defender of "sleep on it" and ready to hold them for more emotional support.

Not to say that the boys only have those tactics - they adapt, of course. Some problems can't be advised away, or slept away. They just fumble a lot more out of their comfort zone, but they do try!

I feel like I left your og ask behind a long time ago oops

The thing is, it's very hard to say specifically what other anxieties Y/N might share with whom - because their reactions are always different, and there's many anxieties to have, with different needs regarding the reassurance and validation. Without a direct example it would become much too broad, and my brain won't actually let me think about more that I could break up like the one above. But! If you have any specific thoughts you're of course welcome to ask about those specifically, I'm just really bad at thinking about stuff without prompting fghdjs

#answer let luce #chaotikanvas #accidentally undercover #things also change of course depending on how close they are #by the time they get to know eclipse theyre ofc v v close to the sun/moon already #so in the beginning it's a little weird with eclipse #because they heard a bunch about them #and he heard about them #but technically they dont *know* each other yet! #once they get past that weird stage “i heard more about you from sun/moon rather than yourself” they get along like a house on fire #realizing they share many fears is actually one of those bonding moments #smth that shows them “oh you're not just family by proxy we actually get along and relate to each other on a personal level too” #theyre family! they ARE and they fill different emotional needs for each other #and i love them

[bindmywanderingheart2thee]

Hey! Long time, no post. The past two years have been filled with growth, loss of some loved ones, a change in careers, and beginning on a journey of healing childhood trauma that I was unaware was even possible.

I recently began EMDR therapy. EMDR therapy is a specific kind of treatment used to help trauma survivors and people with PTSD. It helps them process the events and emotions that caused the trauma. It helps them communicate to their brain that they are no longer in danger, and that it can stop living in fight or flight mode. I've only had around 5 sessions, but what is being uncovered is life changing. I had no idea what our brains were capable of before this. Its both intriguing and heartbreaking. It's far from easy, it's actually very difficult, but I know it will be worth it.

Did you know..?

"Childhood trauma survivors benefit from having as much information and understanding about a current situation as possible. This may seem intense and unnecessary to others, but childhood trauma survivors grew up feeling out of control, unable to express their true feelings, and surrounded by uncertainty on a daily basis. Being able to ask (sometimes many) questions and express their feelings, without fear of judgement, helps them to feel safe, validated, and loved."

Loving a survivor of childhood trauma isn't easy, it requires a lot of patience and transparency. It's also important to recognize that they didn't ask for, or deserve what happened to them. Their brains were literally rewired differently due to their circumstances. They don't think, feel, or process emotions the same way a person who was raised in a healthy environment does. Many of them are emotionally "stuck" at the age the trauma began, and trust is a truly terrifying thing to them. They learned early on that being vulnerable was dangerous, so they put walls up to protect themselves. Their brain sees everything and everyone as a possible threat. Being open with them is the best way to make them feel safe, and when they feel safe, they can flourish. 🌸

So, please know we're NOT trying to drive you crazy. 😉 We're just trying to cope, and we see YOU trying to help....and it means the world to us. 💕

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i see a lot of ya’ll self-depreciating over how much you cry and like...generally speaking, crying is a very healthy process. it’s an important means of 

expressing & processing strong emotions

relieving stress

experiencing catharsis 

moving on to a recovery period

this mindset that people just need to train themselves out of crying...that really worries me. bc the alternative is to repress those feelings instead of expressing them...and from firsthand experience i can tell you it is very much not worth doing that. i’ve been there, i’ve done it, i’ve bought into that mindset. i thought it would make me stronger and less vulnerable. instead i fell so out of touch with myself, it took years of therapy for me to learn to identify my own emotions again. i literally forgot how to tell when i’m upset or sad, bc my body had been trained out of expressing it. that’s an extreme scenario but it’s not uncommon, and if you spend too much time criticizing yourself over your own emotions, it can creep up on you.

i like to think we all know how harmful it is to tell children to just “stop crying, dammit.” turns out, the same is true for adults.

 just. please change the mindset that being visibly upset is somehow shameful. if you find yourself crying a lot, that probably means something in your external and internal experiences needs to change: you don’t deserve to feel angry, frustrated, frightened, sad, or upset so frequently that it distresses you. those are only supposed to be sometime emotions. 

but telling yourself to just. stop crying, or to stop feeling what you’re feeling? that’s harmful, and it doesn’t work. no one controls their emotions out of sheer will--at best we shut them down, and then pay heavily for it later. if we want our minds to feel better, we need to give them assistance, not threats. threatening or bullying our bodies and minds to behave the way we want them to will always backfire.

#not a shitpost #serious post #therapy #long post #ask to tag #team 'my parents yelled at me to stop being upset so now i haven't cried in years' #i really miss having the ability to cry normally. i didn't know how important it was until i lost it #look if you're able to cry over stuff like. a movie having a sad ending or a fictional animal dying? i'm glad you have that #i promise it makes you stronger not weaker #anyway i miss being able to cry when i'm not like. drunk or breaking down #having a deadpan expression when i'm experiencing sadness seemed funny at first but now it's just alienating #don't do that to yourself or your kids please #oh this applies to people of all genders btw #but especially to masc people bc society teaches a lot of bullshit about masculine people expressing emotions #you deserve to have emotions and to express them without fear of judgement #mental health

[starshipsofstarlord]

Hi bb congrats on 3k followers 🥺 you deserve it!! How about a smutty/angst blurb with nat, bucky, and reader being in a relationship and right now it’s going bad because something(idk what could happen it’s up to you) happened leaving bucky and nat at odds with reader trying to figure out how to get them to love each other again

Also you aren’t dumb 😡 it was an honest mistake bub

𝐼𝑁𝑉𝐴𝐿𝐼𝐷𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁

Summary: based on the request

Pairing: BuckyNat x reader

Warnings: 18+, polyamory, angst, arguing, swearing, blame, smut, threesome, oral (male -> female & female -> female), face sitting, fingering, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, p in v sex, cum eating, talking of death

Word Count: 4617

Masterlist Link

Caught in the crossfire yet again, a worry condoned your face into a suitable expression; one of agony as you listened to the pair of your beloveds argue in your shared home. Their raised voices made it sound as though you were entrapped in a war zone, the attacks were consistent, and adjacently brutal, as they passed through your ears, succumbing terror to your being as you feared of what was to be of the three of you. The idea of such an ending was expected, all had been good, up until a few weeks back, coming home to one another had been a haven, now for them it were a dragging chore. Once, they had valued one another’s presence, hugging you in the warm embrace of peacefulness, it had been somewhat of a dream. Despite all the words and judgemental thoughts that you were shunned with in public, nothing became a barrier in the triangular relationship that you were involved in. It wasn’t a flaw in the mechanical works of your emotions to break you apart, it was simply normal for you to endure, but this, their constant screeching at one another had not been.

Glass infrastructure; a vase plummeting against the wall made you jump, shocked by the violence that they were presenting in the household. That vase had been a housewarming gift from Steve, whom seemed to be the centre of their problem. Bucky was angry with Natasha for her constant flirting with his best friend, he wasn’t appreciative of how often, even when you were all tucked up in your king sized bed, that she would be on her phone, texting the blonde for hours on end, making the man on one side of you grunt at the woman on your other. Nat scoffed at Bucky’s derelict behaviour, crossing her arms over her chest as she passed judgement onto his destructive action. “That was such a necessary thing for you to do Barnes, if I were you, I’d clean it up before your ratty little cat steps on a shard.” Alpine was seated on your lap, nuzzling his pink nose into your stomach as though he were trying to escape away from the midst of the argument and the brief mention that he was given. Lightly, you stroked comfortingly over his soft white ears, imagining that would mute the sound out from passing through them.

“You are such a bitch Natalia!” He knew that she didn’t like to be called that, a scowl frustratedly pulled at her face, as her emerald eyes pointed a squint in his direction. “Why do you have to be like this, a pathetic whore for attention from any man or woman that gives you the time of day? Steve didn’t ask for you to constantly fondle his arms at Tony’s parties, he tells me everything. Like how you have an inclination to flirt with him and offer to go away with him on a fucking road trip. All these secrets are mounting up, and I am getting sick of it. Why can’t you be more like y/n?” His voice sincerely cracked, making your eyes widen from the mention that stringed you into their serious and painful bickering. That was certainly the wrong thing for him to have said, Nat took a step of disbelief back, frowning at him as he kicked the pieces of broken porcelain about with his foot. Tears began to build up in Natasha’s eyes, making you recoil with Alpine in your arms, and stand, carrying the little fella out of the room as you entered the shared bedroom and slammed the door shut.

To topple the wavering current that was overflowing the house like the events of a tsunami, you swiftly locked the door from the inside, a reassurance that they could not enter and that you’d be left alone, and hopefully in a somewhat surrounding of peace, even if that be for the limit of a few minutes. Bucky huffed, gripping his scruff in the palm of his hand as he shook his head at Natasha, tensing his nostrils as he glared at her. “Now look what you did.” He blamed her, though if he were to comprehend an accurate fault, the dismal accountability of all things that had urged you to leave and trap yourself away with the precious feline was a balance on both of their parts. At his childish and metaphorical finger pointing, Natalia as he had called her, crossed her arms over her chest, taking a few steps back as she were ridiculed by the circumstances that he proposed upon her. “It’s so rich of you to cluster a web as disgraceful as this, Black Widow, it is clear that you were trained in the red room, a habitat for the sinners that deter the prospect of having serum running through their obsolete veins.”

The condemned usage of her heroic title belittled her, though she remained standing strong against one of her lovers, whilst the other, which was informally you, were cloaked away in the dense atmosphere that was once filled with the notion and ambience of intimacy and endearment, but was now stifling under the thumb of hoisted reverence. Natasha knew, and was concerned for your well being, aware that you’d be tearing profusely up at all of which you had witnessed; it was no pretty sight, you had for a long time evened out the ground for her and Bucky, but it seemed that your attempts at validation were no longer enough. They were falling out of love, leaving you in the middle of their poisonous and collapsing feud, of which made you substantially torn between both counterparts. Nat opted for biting her lip, and screwing her fists into balls of restraint, as she whipped her back into Bucky’s sight, and headed towards the master bedroom, rapping her knuckles against the door, halting your movements of running your fingers through Alpine’s snowy locks.

Each time you combed your hand through his soft coat, small strands slid from the outer layer of his shell, coating your leggings in small follicles that promptly stood out. It was a coping mechanism for the ravenous banging that obstructed the other side of the door; it was driving you mad, and admittedly it’d be a lie if you were to say that you weren’t tempted to unlock your barrier of security, but you had to remain strong and stand your ground against their unchivalrous bullshit, that was until they had the means to sort their transgressive mess out on their own. You had no intent on being pulled in by the strings, being controlled and manipulated like a puppet, dangling from the hands of an opposing man and woman whom were supposed to adore one another as much as they did you. Alpine’s staring was getting too much, it was as though he were judging you with his moonstone blue eyes for your ignorance of every singe thing outside of the room. Bucky stepped behind Natasha, his demeanour infuriating her all the same, but she continued to hold her ground steady, adamant to not step down from her position.

“If she doesn’t want to see me, then you’re definitely not going to sway her judgement and conception of opening the door.” Bucky squinted at her, taking offence from her words, without so much of an ounce of concern, pushing her out of the way, and tapping his scarred knuckles against the door, earning a similar lack of response, causing Nat to become smug with his deflation of confidence. Just hearing them bicker was driving you mad; Alpine, though considered to be formally owned by Bucky, one of the lovers whose words were torturing you, was the only source of comfort that you were reviling in. You hugged him to your chest, stroking the side of your face alongside the surface of his coat, as you tried to compel regents of coaxed calmness. They were toxic for one another, as had recently been revealed, but they still strived towards one of their selfish desires; and that was you. No longer did they have a hook line and sinker to reel you in, you were standing your turf as you awaited for their insistent bickering failed to cease.

“Y/n, doll, open the door.” Bucky made his attempt, speaking through the barrier and still not gaining a response from you. It was moulding his voice into a muffle as he tried again, but groaned simultaneously. To say Natasha was not impressed with his failure at getting through to you came as no surprise to her, she couldn’t quite blame you fit not wanting to talk or respond to him; she wasn’t keen on that entailment either. And it was definitely because she was majorly pissed at him, he had gotten so far up his own ass and it was irritating. He was feeling severe pity for himself, and whilst it was sometimes understandable why he was feeling so, it was not fair for him to take thus emotional charge out on Natasha. But the treatment went both ways, she was picking at him on purpose, trying to irritate him to the point where he would feel invalidated, and that she was the target of his cold brashness. You couldn’t quite your finger on why it spurred into such a terrible environment to inhabit in, however to your own dismay, it had, and it now basically mirrored hell with the torture that you endured through your cowering ears.

“Y/n honey, can you please open the door for me?” Natasha’s voice came across as sweet and collected, and could deceive anyone whom didn’t know the problematic endorsement into thinking that there was nothing wrong out in the hallway. But you knew, far too well for your own liking that that the pair of them were struggling to feel an ounce of remorse for one another, let alone love, which left that as a far fetch in their pessimistic eye lines. They loved you, and only you, congregating your three person relationship into nothing more than an accepted love triangle, and they seemed to be temporarily stable with it (if that is how it could be recorded), however, you were anything but pleased with the end result. You had tried to help make things work between the pair, but everything that yo put into action only appeared to drive a deeper wedge in the middle of them, and make a piece off them crack and wasn’t you to themselves, greedily so.

“Yeah, cause she’d sure open it for just you. I’m the golden ticket here, we all know she prefers new, and for good reason. At least every time that she wants to see me, I’m not busy with work or kissing Fury’s ass because I have a constant fear of having my intentions misinterpreted for being pardoned after all the crimes that I have committed. Half thee time you’re not even around, I’m sure she thinks that you go out of your way to avoid her, and even I don’t appreciate that fact. That’s why she clings onto me like I’m her last hope, and the reason as to why she wants us to move closer to the Wilsons; so she’s not as lonely as she currently is. I bought a cat because i knew that she is by herself half the time, what’d you do, install cameras so you can ensure she’s safe? Safe isn’t the word for that if you’re going to make sure that she’s watched in her own home, she waned time away from the compound after everything that we have been through,yet you still make her feel like its following her to eve bleak corner of this home.”

“More like you’re the golden ass here because that’s all you’ve been since Steve decided to give up the shield and pass it to Sam. Anyone’d think that you’re jealous Barnes, and that you want to be Captain America. Spoiler alert; no matter what title that you frame yourself by, or decide who you are that day, you will never carry that shield or don the helmet of true patriarchy, you don’t know how this day and age works. You will never lose the looks from people that you have stolen from, to some of them, the White Wolf is just a pathetic charade, in their eyes, you will always be the Winter Soldier.” Her words were like venom, causing discourse that diverged through the household, splitting the members apart and diminishing their morals. Though you still held onto your own strong, despite their perpendicular quarrels that formed enemy lines against ione anther. You were the white flag, wishing to prohibit a truce for the potential future that you shared together, but they were clearly still deciding on that matter. It was exhausting to endure really, even as you arm constantly waved the blank canvas in their faves as though you ere fine to start all over with each other, and you were if only things could work out; that was your largest concern, minus the fact that you often worried that they may murder one another in their slumber and you’d awaken to bloody sheets and a possessive one partner.

“You want to go there Romanoff? At least I never was prepared to sacrifice my life so that I could save the universe. But you’re back, and that’s one of the many times that you have fucked with my girl’s head. You wonder why she no longer wants to save the world - it’s because you’ve ruined it for her, one second she’s in mourning from your selfish actions, the next she’s relieved that you’re alive. That is one apparent difference between us, I am prepared to give up all this superhero bullshit up, yet you’re not. And it doesn’t just fuck with her, I’m victim to it too, and you’re not even just oblivious to how I feel - you’re ignorant. Please just get a grip Nat, and choose a priority, because this is not fair any more, and I am almost done here.” She analysed him, and you could hear his voice crack through the sternly closed door. Water pooled in his baby blues, but he ensured that no tears escaped, even as he sadly with conflict looked on at her.

“At least I didn’t kill Tony’s parents. Or y/n’s.” It was affirmative that she wanted the attention that was brought to her other commitment to dissipate, but Bucky wouldn’t release it, he was like a dog tugging on a rope. He was relentless as he verbally tore into her, and made her feel conflicted about the life that she wanted. In theory, that was the worst thing that she could have switched the pointed focus to, and you picked Alpine off from your lap, and set him on the bed. With silent footsteps, that you had no doubt that Bucky had picked up on with his enhanced senses, though he remained silent and said nothing of your movement, as he stared Natasha down, tensing his jaw as he ran through his brain of what to say. He was trying not to burst, he absolutely resented being reminded of all the things that he had been coerced into doing by HYDRA, and the fact that you were listening in made the situation that bit more vivid. Of course you knew of the murders that he had made upon your bloodline, however it was rather obvious why it was not brought up often, and yet, Natasha just couldn’t let that one slide. It had taken much time for you to warm back up to Bucky after you had discovered the crime that had taken a toll on your quality of a life as a child, but eventually you had been able to look past the things that he had done as a brain washed assassin and see the real him.

“Are you shitting me?! That’s what you bring up, right now of all times. She’s never gonna open that damned door if you keep running your mouth like you’re a fucking god, privileged to say what you want without consequences. The subject is consequences is why I’m so fucking done with you, one day I’m going to wake up to a call that says you’re dead, and that’ll be on you. And then it’ll be left to me to break the news to y/n. Stop acting like being an avenger is your only purpose, and if it is, I’d leave, that level of premature emotions in a relationship when you have a preference of being somewhere else with us is thoroughly not needed. You think I’m being a dick, sure, whatever, but at least I’m not lying to you or y/n, or my godforsaken self for that matter.” His hands made destructive gestures as he spoke, it was overall emphasis on how she was frustrating him - in other terms she had turned him into a time bomb, and he had blown. He had congregated into a mass of flame and debris, of which he was depositing within the walls, his clear anger throwing Natasha off and causing her breath to hitch as she took a step back, and braced her fingers against the wall, gulping as she became unsure of what else to say as a retort.

Your head felt like it was about to split in two, the existing lanes were overlapping; you pressed your ear to the door to confirm that strangely, for once in a long time, there was evaluated silence on the other side. For just a second you turned back, and watched as Alpine climbed onto the window sill, choosing to slip beneath the blinds so that he’d get a better view of the traffic outside. Taking a breath, you put your hand upon the doorknob, feeling the cold metal hiss against your warm skin, curling your palm around it until your slid your other hand to the lock, and pushed the fine bolt to the side, deciding to give into your own hopeful whim and open the door. The sight you were met with were the pair of them staring at one another, it almost resonated as a glare, but something else was dictating behind their adamant eyes. To soothe the commitment that they had made, of not being together but standing their in uptight silence, you walked to stand right between them so that you could snap and break their eye line. And it worked, bringing a light furrow to Bucky’s brow, and apologies of words to catch in Natasha’s throat.

“Is it over now?” It wasn’t your intent to make your voice sound as meek as it had come across, but it had, and it made Natasha feel figuratively worse about the entire ordeal. She was worried that you would call her out on the calamity that she was facing, though you did not; there was no point beginning another argument, more so when everything was now out in the open, and nothing was secluded from speech. Nat smiled at you, and raised her hand, stroking your cheek as Bucky watched with tender eyes, finally calming down. She nodded to answer your enquiry, enforcing you to sigh in utmost relief. Natasha pulled you closer, and pressed her lips against your own, as to silence the possible next words that could leave your mouth. You melted into her calm course of collision that you had moulded into, humming contently into the cavern of her wordless canal, a hand trailed over your back, it was firm and you could feel each nimble detail of vibranium that was etched into the rare metal through the material of your shirt. "Can we go to bed?" A substitutional pout made its way onto your lips as Bucky pulled you to the side, swiftly.

But instead of walking away like you feared he would, he cupped the redhead's face, and slunk his lips atop of hers, arising a wide smile upon your cheeks, finally seeing them finding solace in each other’s company. Nat pushed Bucky back to you after a minute as she backwards dragged you into the room, the super soldier picking you up as he carried you through the walls and threw you on the bed. Your body bounced for a moment, until it settled atop of the sheets, and Nat crawled towards the head of the bed, looking down at your face with her emerald eyes, engorging in the sight of your blown pupils that were directed towards her. Her hands cupped the roundness of your cheeks, descending her face lower as she purchased her lips upon your own, humming into the coven of your mouth as you reached up, tangling your hands within her red hair that she had cut above the shoulder again.

Your hips jolted on their own instinct as Bucky tore your leggings along with your panties off from your body, the cold air attacking and biting at your legs and beyond as you tried to get used to the drop in temperature below. Nat’s hands descended from your face and began to grope at your tits, leaving you in a blissful wonder, as Bucky’s warm breath hit the insides of your thighs, the contrast of his hands stroking up your legs being one of extraordinary anticipation. You weren’t sure how you hadn’t already straddled his face and set the pace yourself, though you allowed him to continue as you made out with Nat.

To provoke him into doing something more, you waggled your hips in his face, only to earn a vibranium grip on either side, holding you down and restricting you from teasing him. “I’m sorry doll.” He spoke, feeling terrible that you had heard him taunt and pry at your other third with such spite. “We’re sorry baby girl, to each other and you.” Natasha removed her lips from your own as she ogled down at you, her feline like eyes causing you to hitch your breath in your chest. She was so beautiful, each part of her was absolutely stunning, little did you know though that she was thinking the exact same about you.

“Quit teasing her Buck, give our girl what she wants.” She commanded him, and delightfully he had no hesitancy nor quarrel against her words. He ushered his face closer to your crevice of instance, nestling it towards the natural heat that radiated from your pussy, brushing the tip of his nose against your clit as his tongue darted out from the oyster of his mouth, travelling up your slit as he confided his lips around your pearl, heavily suckling upon it as yo cause your back to lurch upwards and your hands coil in the sheets below you. Nat ran her thumb over your mouth, sinking it into your mouth as you suckled upon it, your lids fluttering shut from the combination of sensations that collided through your body.

“Taste so fucking good doll, you’re addictive.” Bucky’s lips brushed against your cunt, as he raised his vibranium fingers towards your entrance, sinking one solidified length into you, as your walls clamped down on the metal. Moans ripples out from your throat as he added another one and lowered his head once more, sucking on either side of your labia, his searing blue eyes gazing into your own that were heavily lidded and struggling to remain open in the long run. “So tight, can’t wait to get my cock in here and stretch it all open so that I can go again and again.”

“Why wait?” Nat asked, aiding you in sitting up as she pulled your shirt up over your head, and then began to undress herself also. “You could just fuck her now, get your pretty prick into her puffy little pussy until she creams all over you. Just thinking about that is getting me wet, do you want to eat me out baby girl?” She enquired as she licked her lips, tugging the last garment that was on her body down that were her panties. A breath staggered out from your throat as Bucky pulled away, pressing one last kiss onto your slit as he began to remove each article of clothing that covered his flawless body.

“Yes please Natty.” As soon as those words beckoned out of your mouth, the redhead held her hands onto the bed frame, and moved to sit on your face. You were enamoured to see the sight of her cunt above you, it made you salivate from the way her flower was splayed as her clit poked out, undoubtedly aroused as she descended it down onto your face, and quickly you began to eat her out, sliding your tongue up and down her cunt, until you reached her entrance and fucked get with your wet muscle. Though your pace faltered as you felt Bucky’s tip prying at your own entrance, sinking in and making you moan against Nat’s wet cunt.

“Shit you’re so fantastic with that mouth of yours, imma ride your face for a moment baby, and I know that you can handle that.” Natasha spoke, raising up and down in the air so that your tongue was penetrating her more and less as she controlled the pace. Once Bucky had settled inside of your walls, his hands clasped onto your hips as to use them as leverage to fuck deeper into you with discretion, making the bed shake as the triad of you went at it like touch deprived animals. “I’ll forgive Bucky for anything if this is what I get.��� His hand slapped her ass at that, causing her to press further down onto your face, and you to moan at the flavour of her landing on your tongue.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum all over your sexy face.” The pitch of her voice got higher as you doubled your efforts, grasping onto her ass cheeks to hold her against your face as your tongue traced every inch of her insides, her wetness spreading along your cheeks and splashing around your lips. Your own sounds vibrates against her mound as Bucky fucked into you, grunts coming from behind Nat’s overlooking silhouette, his flesh hand trailing down and pinching at your clit as Natasha orgasmed upon your face. You tried to clean up the mess that she made but she got too sensitive and crawled off from your face, laying down beside you as she watched your other lover fuck into you.

Her lips pressed kisses over your neck as Bucky couldn’t help but ram his length further into you, causing you to orgasm as he pulled out and stroked at his cock, finishing on the bottom of your belly as he held his head back in continuum relief. “Holy fuck.” He breathed, crawling into the bed beside you as Nat took up hearth on your other side, resting his head into the cushion as he caught his breath. Nat’s fingers ran through the cum on your stomach, collecting it on the pads as he raised it to your lips, smirking as you bobbed your head hungrily on your fingers despite your dazed senses.

“We sure do all make a good team.” Nat admitted, turning your face to hers to press a kiss against your lips, delving her tongue into your mouth as she pulled away and rested her head against your breasts. “And I love you.” Bucky repeated the words, leaving you to be the only one to say it back, and you didn’t hesitate to do so.

Bucky Tags; @tylard-blog1 @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @kaitieskidmore1

#bucky barnes smut #natasha romanoff smut #buckynat #buckynat x reader #Buckynat x reader smut #mcu smut #marvel smut #black widow smut #winter soldier smut #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #bucky x female reader #natasha romanoff angst #bucky barnes angst #imagines #imagine #xreader #bucky barnes #marvel x reader #nat x reader smut #bucky x reader smut #bucky x original female character #natasha x reader

[five-rivers]

Management

For @phandom-phriend

.

“I want to see your manager,” declared Karen.

The employees’ laughter cut off instantly. Ha. Served them right. These giggling teens didn’t know anything about her, didn’t know what her day had been like. Didn’t know what it was like to be her, with three screaming brats at home and only three days of vacation time.

This stop was supposed to be short. It was supposed to be a rest stop. A place to refuel and pick up her supplements. A ten-minute detour on the way to her spa retreat in the countryside.

But as soon as she’d driven into this town everything had gone wrong. Immediately. It was like the place was cursed. Nowhere more than this garbage hole mini mart. This mini mart which was both too large to easily transverse and too limited in selection.

“Ma’am,” said one of the teens, a girl with an incredibly unprofessional haircut and dye job. Not to mention her piercings. “You really don’t want us to do that.” She licked her lips and some of her cheap black lipstick came off.

Didn’t this store have any kind of dress code? Any kind of professional standard?

“You either get me your manager, or you get me what I asked for.” Drawing a line in the sand was the only way to get things done. The only way to keep people from walking all over you.

The teens exchanged nervous looks.

“Ma’am,” said the other, a boy. “We would, but we’re out.”

“Then you shouldn’t have advertised them,” said Karen, venomously.

“That was last week,” he protested. “It was a sale to make room for new products. We don’t—”

“Unless you’re treating me the way customers should be treated, I don’t want to hear it,” snapped Karen.

The teens exchanged a glance. “Fine,” said the girl. “I’ll get him.”

Karen huffed and crossed her arms, satisfied. About time.

She let her eyes rake over the dismal little store while she waited for the girl to come back. God, it was disgusting in here. She’d be glad to be back on her way.

Three employees, if she could call them that, in this tiny store and it still managed to get this bad. Not to mention the rest of this pothole-ridden town.

If her car didn’t have new tires by the time she got back, oh, there would be hell to pay.

The overhead lights flickered.

The girl jogged back. “He’s coming,” she said.

“Is he too busy to come with you?” asked Karen. Of all the inconsiderate things…

“He has health issues,” said the girl. The lights strobed again, the darkness lasting longer.

“Do you not pay your power bills or something?” asked Karen, annoyed. The flickering was giving her a headache.

“Look,” said the boy, “when your town’s been through as much as ours has, then you can complain.”

“Excuseme? Is that how you talk to a paying customer?”

“You haven’t paid for anything yet, lady—”

“You little—”

“Excuse me. Are you harassing my employees?”

Karen jumped. The young man had, somehow, managed to appear behind the teens while the lights were out. As the lights blinked again, he loomed above her and—

No. He was shorter than she was. About the same height as the teens, in fact. A trick of the light? Whatever. It didn’t matter.

What mattered was getting something to make up for the time she was wasting here. Honestly. This stupid town owed her.

Not that these children would be sympathetic to her plight. No, if life had taught her anything, it was that she had to fight for what she deserved.

So, she presented her case to the manager—And if he knew what was good for this place, he’d let her win. She could and would write an absolutely scathing review and she was in half a dozen Facebook groups that would support her in writing them, no questions asked. There was this one woman on the opposite coast who was practically a genius when it came to reviews.

“Are you listening?” she snapped halfway through, when the manager had failed to respond at all. Usually, by this point they’d tried some kind of spineless, stuttering appeasement.

“Yes,” he said, without any emotional inflection. “Please continue.”

Karen shivered. “Your AC is on too high, too.”

“This is how I like it,” said the manager, voice still flat. “This is how our customers like it.”

“What customers?” sneered Karen. “I’m the only one who’s been here for the past half an hour.”

The manager shrugged. “You should get your prescription checked.”

The lights flickered. The other two employees were gone, nowhere in sight. When had they left? Had they edged out of sight while she was discussing their abysmal performance with the manager.

“You should leave.”

“Excuse me?”

“You should leave. Ma’am.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious. You’re upsetting our customers. Also, I have real work to do.”

“You don’t have any customers.”

For a long moment, the manager simply stared at her. Then he grinned, the expression not reaching his eyes at all. His teeth… bothered Karen. It wasn’t that they weren’t clean… maybe they were too clean?

She felt herself taking a step back, sweat prickling the back of her neck.

“We don’t have any customers that you can see.”

The lights went out, this time for long enough for Karen’s eyes to adjust. Over a dozen pairs of glowing eyes stared back at her.

She jumped, and the first split second of a scream made it past her lips before she realized the prank being played on her. She scowled.

“I’ll be bringing you and your unprofessional conduct to the attention of your superiors, I’ll have you know,” she said.

“Good luck with that,” growled the manager, looking down at her. “I own this place.”

Growled. Looking down at her.

His eyes burned neon green, brighter and more real than any sticker or glowstick Karen had ever seen.

“Let me spell this out to you, Karen,” rumbled the thing in front of her. “You are not welcome here.”

She ran.

.

“That was kind of mean, Danny,” said Tucker, tone entirely judgement-free.

Danny, who was telekinetically reshelving the stuff the woman, a particularly annoying and non-perceptive out-of-towner, had knocked down in her haste to get away, shrugged. “She probably didn’t even pick up the details,” he said, sadly, shaking his head. “Some of my best work, gone unappreciated.”

“I think she appreciated it all right,” said Tucker, an edge of glee creeping into his voice. “Did you see how fast she ran?”

“Yep,” said Danny, inhaling deeply and drinking in the last lingering dregs of the woman’s fear. “Y’know, I think her name might have actually been Karen, considering her reaction.”

“Oof, that almost makes me feel bad.”

“Eh,” said Danny, shrugging. He stood on his tip toes to get a few extra inches over the shelves. “Hey, Sam, you good on the register?”

Sam shot him a thumbs up, not even looking away from the blob-like ghost she was currently ringing up. Danny dropped back to his heels.

“Okay, then, if you’re both good out here,” he said. “I’m going to go finish that negotiation for the ectoplasm cookies.”

“Good luck,” said Tucker.

“And if someone is like that again, call me right away, okay?”

“Got it, boss.”

“Gross. Don’t call me boss.”

“Boss. Boss man. Chief. Mr. Manager. Head honcho.”

“Okay, that’s worse. Seriously. You and Sam are on the deed, too.”

“Ah, but you’re the one our ghostly suppliers will negotiate with. Better get back to that, by the way.”

Danny sighed. “I’m promoting you.” He walked away.

“You- No, you can’t do that! Danny! Wait! You can’t promote me! Danny!”

#danny phantom #phic phight #phic phight 2021

[animeyanderelover]

Yandere Fairy Tail Hc’s

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, manipulation, sabotage, kidnapping, killing

These are based after the 7 year timeskip, btw.

Midnight/Macbeth

🖤This man here is a really possessive freak which is shown in more than just one occasion. Have some understanding for his not so friendly past and everything he had to go through. It would just feel so nice for him to know that he has someone he can call his own and that person was chosen to be you. There is some awareness in him so he knows that some of the things he will drag the s/o into are wrong, but ultimately he is almost desperate to have someone who can love him and whom he can love and that leads to clouding his judgement and doing horrible things. Midnight is someone who will monopolize the time of his darling quite often in case he feels like his darling will put the person above him.

🖤Macbeth is protective because no matter the situation, he is the cause that the s/o will most likely end up going missing and makes them a fugitive alongside with him. Goes of course without even saying that he would want to protect the person he loves dearly and encountering dangerous people or other sorts of troubles with him is bound to happen, even if the other members of the Oración Seis are with him as well. Going back to the topic of him being the borderline of desperate, he kind of tries to hide that fact. It's somewhat embarrassing for him and he might just be scared you'll end up using it against him. He doesn't want to be toyed with ever again in his life. Manipulates his darling into depending on him by pushing them sometimes literally just into direct way of harm to clarify that they do need him. Without him they would be dead already.

🖤Spending most of your time with the other members of the guild gives Midnight more ease because he has a friendly relationship with them and as long as he doesn't feel like you prefer them over him, he is laid back with the whole topic. That might just count for other people as well, though he doesn't really trust anybody else with his darling except his guild members. I wouldn't see him as a jealous type that much. But he has a major fear of his darling abandoning him for someone else, it terrifies him to the bone and once he gets the impression that you do like someone more than him, he gets extremely terrifying. I suppose his friends get the mild version whilst everyone else gets the intense version. He really doesn't say much, but he appears to be quite unhinged. That happens when he is triggered.

🖤He has a sadistic side to him which he kind of expresses on some circumstances to his darling as well when he's mad at them, but those who will see it more likely are those who manage to get on his bad side. He will make them suffer, greatly. Mabeth is ruthless regarding such things and if he thinks someone deserves this, he really won't regret it in the slightest bit. There is this satisfaction he gets out when he sees how someone who was a nuisance for his darling and the relationship drawing their last breath before finally leaving this world. He feels really just proud and glad that this person won't be a bother any longer. He quite literally has a creepy smile on his face when he gets rid of someone, though he won't let the s/o know unless it is meant to serve as a warning for them.

🖤You couldn't call him happy when he realized that he had feelings for his darling, he wasn't searching for love and it was the last thing he expected to find as well. And he was just extremely doubtful about all of this, having witnessed betrayal too often before. Why should you be any different? Eventually he settles on stalking you, unable to get you out of his head. He needs a long time to really warm up and embrace his emotions properly and if he happens to meet his darling somehow by accident and they are friendly to him which would mean especially much if they know who he is, it leaves a good impression alongside with a warm feeling inside of him. He will abduct his darling eventually and have them going with him, but once he feels reassured that they return his feelings, he might decide to let them live somewhere in a more isolated place. Feels uneasy to do so and he will visit a lot to see that his s/o is still healthy and hasn't left.

🖤His fear of you leaving him behind and abandoning him really just makes him a bit paranoid and unable to know how to act with this newfound situation and emotions he just scares you initially, not knowing how to guarantee otherwise that you won't try to run away from him. Midnight grows with time more chill and less scary and people like Richard and Angel are a huge help with this. Some of them wouldn't agree with the whole kidnapping thing, but what they do see is that Midnight is unable to act on his emotions and so they help him a bit. He holds a certain reverence for you, he really can't help that. Once he does put his trust and faith in you to the point where he releases you from his previous tight grip, he never fully stops being a bit anxious over a potential betrayal from you.

Cobra/Erik

🐍Erik is a lucid and protective Yandere. He has quite the inner turmoil on what exactly he should do and how he should act with his emotions. He follows a dark and dangerous path and doesn't want to get his darling in any not needed troubles, on the other hand he is very possessive as well. Especially if we're talking about the time where he didn't know that Cubellios was still alive and living now as Kinana. With all the terrible things he has done, he still notices the bizarre attachment he seems to have for the s/o and having lost Cubellios already once, he doesn't want anything to happen to his darling.

🐍Whether he wants to be obsessive or not, his Hearing Magic quickly allows him to get to know you better and like this he finds everything out as well. Looking on it, it's quite the scary ability to have since it just means that there is no way you'll ever be able to lie to him or manipulate him into something because he can near movements and even your ver thoughts. Can be greatly used for manipulative reasons as well, though he is more of an easy-going person and wouldn't resort to too much manipulation unless he has too. Still enjoys the role of a stalker, he loves watching the s/o going on with their day whilst he watches out for any harm. It calms him.

🐍It really depends on whether he hears that the person is interested in his darling or not and as long as he can listen to the 'voice' of a person, he will eventually find out. He scoffed already quite the couple of times when he heard someone's intentions and made it in some ways obvious that he is his darling's boyfriend. Erik has despite everything confidence in himself because if you know that he used to be a bad guy and still opened up to him and loved him, that is enough to soothe him. Real jealousy is only expressed when you talk a lot about someone and seem to acknowledge them a bit too much, leading to him being more hostile and passive-aggressive.

🐍Being mostly able to detect the true intentions of someone quickly, Cobra makes his judgement call based on their thoughts and what they plan to do next. Even if his darling was to hide something from him, he will find that out as well and right away get to the core of the problem. Whilst Midnight is the more possessive type than Cobra is, Cobra is the more protective type who will take an angry and violent approach to things that concern your well-being and health. Next to Kinana, he has an extremely strong bond and a great amount of affection for you. So obviously he isn't just going to wait until something bad happens. As soon as he knows someone plans to inflict pain of any sort onto you, he is quick to act. Erik will turn aggressive in such manners. And he has some sort of sadistic side to him as well when it comes to removing trash from his darling's life.

🐍I think he might just do something similar as Jellal would do with his darling. It's kind of obvious that he wants his darling to be best friends with Kinana and if he had to choose a person he would trust most with the s/o, it is without a doubt his best friend. So he would probably try to somehow get his darling to move into Magnolia if they aren't living there already. He won't be quite as selfish and paranoid as Macbeth is to force his darling into tagging along, instead he can feel at ease knowing that his darling has Kinana and Kinana has his darling. He'll visit the two most important persons in his life if he has the chance to do so.

🐍You will be good friends with Kinana, Erik will make sure of it. But his friend is in general very kind to you and wants to be your friend since she knows how much you mean to Erik. It's a huge relief for Erik as well, knowing you two will have each other's back when he isn't around. What he is kind of worried about is the fact that one of the Fairy Tail members might manage to get your attention since he can be gone for quite some time. Most likely Kinana will swoop in to stop others from flirting with you, protecting Erik's darling from others. He has a hard shell, but he can be shy from time to time as well when he is with you.

#yandere fairy tail #yandere midnight #yandere macbeth #yandere cobra #yandere erik

[kris-shinnie-pride]

OK KAITO MOMOTA ANALYSIS CAUSE YALL ARE CLOWNING ON HIM.

Kaito on the surface:

In the beginning Kaito is shown to be the "All Bark, No Bite" type of person. Always saying that he'll definitely find his way out but without having a plan on how to do so himself, or him saying something along the lines of "You read my mind! I was also gonna say that exact same thing too!" after Kaede's speeches. This makes Kaito out to be this overconfident, hyper optimistic, naive dude. Which to some extent, he kinda is.

However, there's a lot more to him.

Kaito's beliefs on trust:

Kaito believes in the good in each person. He feels like everyone deserves to have faith placed upon them. Like he himself says multiple times, he trusts his gut about people and believes in people just because he wants to believe in them (saying the phrase "I believe in them because I want to believe in them. Do I need any other reason other than that?"). This may put him out to seem naive but I don't think he is. He knows that the possibility of betrayal exists but he doesn't want to let that cloud his judgement. He wants to believe others are good until they prove otherwise. "If I end up getting betrayed it's on me for trusting the wrong person". This proves he isn't just naively assuming everyone is good, he just chooses to give others the benefit of the doubt. He even calls Kokichi naive for believing everyone has an ulterior motive with their secrets, commenting on how everyone has secrets they want to keep and how that doesn't mean the intention behind them is bad.

That's likely one of the reasons why he had such a hard time believing Gonta would kill someone. It wasn't just blind faith. It was understanding Gonta's character and knowing he could never have bad intentions. Gonta would never cave into any sort of selfish motive. He knew Gonta was despairing on the account of not being helpful to everyone. Kaito considers things based on emotion and so by Gonta's previous behaviour (and current behaviour in his trial, ever since he lost his memory,) it makes sense Kaito would doubt Gonta's guilt. There were other factors as to why he acted the way he did during that trial that I will talk about later.

Kaito's beliefs on vulnerability:

We barely learn anything about Kaito's family. We have no idea what happened to his parents. All we know is that he was raised by his grandparents. Being raised by his grandparents would mean that he was also raised with certain conservative ideas about males showing emotion. We see Kaito struggling with the idea of showing "weakness" aka negative emotions (ex. fear, sadness), especially in front of Monokuma. Which is why he punches Shuichi after Kaede's execution. He can't excuse Shuichi showing weakness in front of Monokuma. He doesn't have an issue with emotions in general since he advices Shuichi to stay by himself in order to grieve and also tells him to visit Kaede's Ultimate Lab. He also responds to Maki's love confession by congratulating her on opening up more and saying that since she fell for a guy like him, she can finally love herself. Kaito has a fair amount of emotional intelligence. He displays as much when he took on Shuichi and Maki and made them work on their "enemies" which he figured out fairly quickly. He can even read Kokichi in some moments, such as when he points out Kokichi's issues with trust and how that becomes a hindrance to him in the 4th trial. Kaito himself struggles with expressing his own emotions to others. He doesn't take his own advice. He tells Shuichi that he shouldn't shoulder everything on his own and yet Kaito never shares his illness with the others. He lets them live in ignorance, believing he's always happy and carefree. Why does he do that? Hero complex.

Kaito's hero complex:

Kaito has a severe hero complex which he developed in order to make himself feel needed and also to make others depend on him. He appears arrogant, flamboyant and maybe even toxically optimistic, almost unable to show any negative feelings (that aren't aggression/anger). That is due to his need to appear like the Reliable And Unshakeable Hero Who Fears No Enemy. He takes the negative emotions from within him that may make him seem weak and either completely discards them or masks them behind aggression (that's another conservative ideal he may have gotten from his grandparents). He allows others to idolise him and so he takes his own basic human right to feel less than ideal away from himself just so he isn't knocked off from the pedestal he has been placed upon. He hides behind a carefree, overly optimistic mask and he never lets it slip. Till chapter 4 that is.

Kaito's insecurities:

Insults and criticism:

Kaito is blatantly insecure when it comes to criticism and insults. It is extremely apparent especially in the second class trial where everyone comments on his intelligence and how he's an idiot. (A small parenthesis here: Kaito is The Ultimate Astronaut. He may have cheated on the exams and falsified papers to get in but he was allowed to stay not only cause they found him entertaining but also because they saw talent in him. So I'd love it if we could stop degrading his intelligence like he's actually unable to function. Yeah I call him a himbo but never did I genuinely doubt his intelligence, both emotional intelligence and his general knowledge. Is he dense sometimes? Yeah. But he's not useless or generally stupid. End of parenthesis.) He takes a lot of offense to that insult and even says it hurts his feelings. Meaning that perhaps the overconfidence he's been displaying isn't as authentic as he would've liked. He is very easily provoked, which Kokichi wonderfully displays in almost each interaction he has with Kaito. He is usually quick to point out when someone else gets insulted in a manner that doesn't ring true, but he seems to have a hard time defending himself in that way. He just gets very defensive and usually yells about it, but he can't refute it like he does for other people.

Threatening his ideals:

When his views and beliefs are questioned in the slightest manner he feels personally threatened. He gets very aggressive and even violent when it comes to that. We get to explore this a lot more during chapter 4. As chapter 4 progresses we get to see how his blind faith in others, which so far had only worked in his favour and was considered to be one of his most admirable traits, can be even more damaging than even Kokichi's lies. The idea that this part of him can be wrong in certain situations frustrates Kaito to no end since believing in everyone is pretty much his thing. To be told that THAT can be just as much, and maybe even MORE, of a burden to deal with as Kokichi's meddling probably really hurt his ego. Which is likely why he takes that out on both Kokichi, by attempting to resort to physical violence after the trial, and Shuichi by blaming him for his own shortcomings.

His relationship with Kokichi:

Kaito's relationship with Kokichi is an interesting one since they seem to share quite a few parallels. Kaito, The One Everyone Trusts, The One That Keeps The Group Together, The Hero Of The Story vs Kokichi, The One That Can't Be Trusted, The One That Constantly Lies, The Antagonist. Kaito is overly trusting, has seemingly baseless optimism and is, for the most part, very much a team player. Kokichi on the other hand is overly suspicious of everyone, has no faith in the other students and, for the most part, acts alone. They are almost perfect foils of eachother when it comes to personalities as well, on surface level. However when you look at them both from beginning to end you find many similarities between them. The first one would be how they both share the same goal. The goal of defeating the mastermind and ending the game. How they go about it is definitely different but their plans both do share the same end result. Another thing they have in common is lying. While Kokichi makes it more obvious, Kaito lies as well. He tries to conceal his illness and, again, his feelings that make him appear vulnerable. Kokichi even calls him out on this (and I believe he calls Kaito a hypocrite, then saying how Kaito is hiding something from the group). Then we have how they both try to fit themselves into specific boxes to fulfil their goals. Kaito models himself perfectly in order to fit The Hero Role, while Kokichi does everything in his power to take on The Villain Role. Assigning these roles to themselves is something they both deem necessary in order for the mastermind to be defeated. I have a fanart saved where Kokichi and Kaito play Chess and Shogi respectively against eachother at the same time. From Kaito's perspective, Kokichi has added chess pieces in a game of Shogi, while from Kokichi's point of view, it's Kaito who has the Shogi pieces for a game of chess. They both want to do something similar but they can't quite agree with eachother on how to get there.

Needing to be needed:

As mentioned before, Kaito, in order to satisfy his hero complex, requires people to rely on him. While originally that's not as apparent, it becomes very clear in chapter 4. Kaito not only feels threatened because his ideals are being characterised as wrong, by his own sidekick, but also because his own sidekick can even call those ideals wrong in the first place. I haven't mentioned his relationship to Shuichi almost at all so far so let's talk about that for a bit. Kaito takes Shuichi under his wing because of his hero complex and because his emotional intelligence revealed how much Shuichi needed a hero at that time. He could tell what was weighing Shuichi down and he was ready to try and lift that weight off of him so Shuichi could thrive. He gives him the title of his sidekick and says multiple times that "your discoveries are my discoveries" and "your mistakes are my mistakes, I'll take full responsibility for them!" Considering Shuichi's problem, with discovering a horrible truth and messing everything up, Kaito's words are genuinely comforting to him. Hearing that he won't have to take the heat for discovering some awful truth or hearing that he won't be blamed if he happens to make a mistake. These statements are what made Shuichi more comfortable with his talent and with utilising it. Kaito was the center of attention which means Shuichi as his sidekick could do his thing with almost no disturbance by others. Not to mention the training during night time, in order for Shuichi to relax and distract himself while everything else is chaotic. Kaito was able to read Shuichi and comprehend what he needs to get stronger. So then, when Shuichi started becoming increasingly confident in his abilities, and more independent in general, Kaito was scared. Kaito was scared that he was no longer needed. He was scared that he'd be discarded and that he'd no longer be idolised. He was also jealous of how his sidekick was becoming more and more reliable, more and more useful and needed. Moreso than Kaito himself. That is one of the things Kokichi tried to emphasise in chapter 4. Showing everyone, and especially Kaito, how they were over relying on Shuichi and how Kaito could be considered a hindrance instead of help to him (which he brought up in the trial of the chapter after Kaito questioned one of Shuichi's ideas). On one hand, Shuichi contradicting Kaito's statements meant that Shuichi was finally growing as a person and as a detective, becoming more independent. On the other hand, it meant that maybe Shuichi wouldn't need Kaito anymore. At least that's what Kaito thought at the time. Kaito develops jealousy over Shuichi's reliability, which he later admits in chapter 5. I'm assuming he felt a plethora of emotions after the fourth trial. Betrayal (cause Shuichi chose his own path), fear (of being discarded by everyone else) and embarrassment (from being shown up by his sidekick, for acting in such a pathetic manner and for showing such weakness in front of everyone). However he masks that all behind anger. After the trial he must've been thinking something along the lines of "The student had surpassed the teacher". I mean, if there's no one to save then there's no need for a hero, right?

Kaito's final moments and his collaboration with Kokichi:

Kaito is stubborn and very much so. However, he was able to recognise Kokichi's goal was similar to his own. He was willing to set their differences aside and he was prepared to work with him to end the killing game. While some think Kokichi manipulated Kaito into helping, which to a certain degree he did, Kaito actually wanted to help Kokichi the moment Kokichi said he had a plan to defeat the mastermind. Kaito was able to see through his distaste for Kokichi so they could both work on their common goal. After everything...Kaito is discovered anyway. He's about to be executed and he gets to say his final goodbyes. Kaito, even in his final moments, doesn't let himself feel his own emotions. He keeps a straight face. He keeps his hero facade. Till the very end. He doesn't cry. He doesn't let himself feel anything. All to make everyone around him feel better. He feels like Shuichi and Maki, and everyone else, would have an easier time moving on if he doesn't show any despair. He sacrifices his own needs for others. Again. The hero with the nerves of steel is how he would want to be remembered anyhow.

Then finally, he dies in a way that inspires retaliation. A way befitting of a hero. And a way that finally makes him succumb to the thing he's been working so hard to keep hidden. He dies because of his illness and he does so while smiling. He never lets his mask slip.

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #danganronpa spoilers #ndrv3 spoilers #nef's posts #hes my favourite fictional character can you tell? #kaito momota

[omegapausestuck]

So you killed Homestuck². Let’s talk

Hello, hello.

It’s me; 5ider.

Now, I know that you all don’t care about me, and maybe you shouldn’t, but I have been one of Homestuck’s most stalwart supporters. I’m one of the old guard, from back when the MSPA forums were still up and running — when "Karkat steals hands” was still considered the peak of comedy... and I have waded through Andrew’s knee-deep bullshit through hell to high water, patiently waiting for the pay-off that will surely someday come. I do this because I believe that there is something pure, and genuinely wonderful, buried beneath all the self-effacing and irony and melodramatics; and I wanted to make sure, that as long as there is one more person out there with any level of investment with this fandom, I would be there to show them that we care.

Through all the pauses and retcons and hiatuses and everything, I have remained steadfast. Even during the godawful GIGAPAUSE, where I watched in horror as hundreds of my friends wandered away to greener pastures, I made a promise to post something wholly original EVERY DAY!—just to keep the fires of fandom burning even a little bit longer—and when it turned out that the thing lasted more than the three weeks I feared it would, I never relented. 365 days gave 365 new pieces of content; despite the inexplicable strain it put on my mind, my body, and my spirit. I wound up in the hospital for overwork, and I never even mentioned it. The posts still flowed nevertheless.

Now, like I said, I have been a part of this community for a very long time, and I have, indeed, born witness to all manner of malice, and childish savagery. Of course, I’m nowhere near happy with the stories I’ve been given. I’ve been very vocal about my reservations, and my dissatisfaction, along the way; but I have always been a staunch believer in the respect of your fellow peers. You can only expect to be heard when you take the time to listen to others! No belittling, no bullying, no exposing, no.. no fuckeries!!! As such, I made a specific choice not to lend credence to these people, and neither respond nor denounce their behavior, because it’s not my job to be your babysitter, and it’s not my responsibility to educate other thoughtful, intelligent people in how to carry themselves. I just figured that eventually people will figure it out, and those who can’t play nice will eventually burn out all their own goodwill. I wanted to magnify what is good, and uplifting about us. By spotlighting the best of us, those with intent to spark wildfires of confusion and rancor might see that there were other ways to express their feelings. Powerful ways. Maybe even forms that are Objectively Beautiful.

But I can’t keep quiet any longer. I fear that my silence has allowed others with more short-term, violent ambitions to fester forth, and grow, unchecked, with time. I’ve seen hosts descend on misinformed, ignorant, and even innocent parties; with ruthless ferocity, unquenchable in their bloodlust and fervor. I’ve watched you bully, and gaslight, and purge, and raze through people; using them up like they’re no more than firewood to be cast into the pyre of this never-ending witch hunt for “equality,” and ..what’s that other one? “Employee benefits of the what pumpkin team?”

What a load of bullshit.

Many of you just want an excuse to go vent your frustrations at someone, and you’ll use any hot buzz word you can get behind to lash out with your venemous tongue. Thousands of people descended on Hussie at one point because of some weird “Narrative Rights” meme, and once those ides were thankfully depleted, you doubled down and kept deluging his account with more and more words, “for the joke.” What purpose does it serve to send a windfall of pustulant notifications in a volume so grand that you can be absolutely certain that he won’t be able to apprehend it all?! All he can do is ignore you. Perhaps if a couple hundred meaningful messages were sent his way in a non-confrontational matter, he might be able to process them. Maybe he might even consider them, and eventually come to an understanding. But the way that we spearhead monolithic campaigns against people like an orchestral carpet-bombing of these people’s inboxes and notification feed! IS NOT CONSTRUCTIVE! A person drawing a picture of a he/him John Egbert IS NOT RECPTIVE! A writer involved in a fandom they are highly passionate about IS NOT VINDICTIVE! These are human BEINGS, you guys! They are people! Just like you or me! No one deserves to be crucified in this way! It doesn’t matter how much you dislike the thing that they’ve done, It doesn’t matter how inspired by emotions or opinions or trauma or sorrow, or any other such justification you dream up! You cannot talk to people in a way that is designed to crush their spirit, and bury them under a bottomless deluge of vitriolic malevolence. Every hour of every day. Twenty-four/seven. Day in, day out. Without ceasing.

You are not their Executioner.

You have no right to cast judgement on these people you have never met, and know nothing about. Very few of you have tried to initiate a genuine conversation with any of these people you are so consumed with resentment towards. Very few of you care. It needs to stop. I’m sick of seeing it. I’m sick of hearing about it. I’m sick of fearing it. You’ve harassed your way into your own detriment, and the bad faith of a few hundred-thousand has forced all the millions of us to suffer. MAYBE YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT HOMESTUCK^2. MAYBE YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT HIVESWAP. MAYBE YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT PESTERQUEST. MAYBE YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT PSYCHOLONIALS. BUT MANY OF US DO. AND IT IS NOT YOUR RIGHT TO SPEAK FOR ALL OF US. GROW UP. SIT DOWN. LISTEN.

that’s all

#5ider Speaks #Homestuck #Homestuck 2 #Homestuck2 #Homestuck^2 #HS2 #HS #MS Paint Adventures #JailBreak #Problem Sleuth #What Pumpkin #Hiveswap #Hauntswitch #Friendsim #Pesterquest #Four of Diamonds #Psycholonials #Fandom #HS Fandom #Homestuck Fandom #No. #ENOUGH #You all really let me down on this one. #Thanks a lot #goodbye for a while. i guess

[sisterspooky1013]

Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 14

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

“It was so good to see you, Will,” Valerie says in a muffled voice against his chest as he has her wrapped up tightly in a bear hug.

“I know, I’m so glad I ran into you,” Mulder replies, brushing his hands over her back. He pulls away and kisses her softly on the cheek.

“It makes me really happy to see you so happy,” she says with a smile, her long brunette hair lifting softly in the breeze, brown eyes holding affection that can only be held between two people who have the type of bond that can withstand a breakup and then a transition from lovers to friends.

“Likewise,” he says, nodding towards the small swell of her growing belly.

“I’d love to meet your girlfriend someday, if you think she’d be okay with that,” she says, collecting her purse.

“Yes, I’d really like that. I think you two would get along really well, actually,” he says, and she smirks at him.

“You’re not afraid we’ll bond over having to sit through your shitty movie collection?” she teases, and he laughs good-naturedly.

“Hey, Scully likes my shitty movies, that’s why we’re a perfect match,” he retorts.

She squeezes his arm.

“Call me sometime, okay?”

He nods and watches her walk away, feeling like he’s on cloud nine. A great friendship with his ex-girlfriend, a promising new love with the woman of his dreams; he can only imagine what lies in store next. He practically skips on the walk back to his car, wondering if Scully might let him come by tonight, hoping that he won’t have to wait until the weekend to see her again. He decides to call her as soon as he gets home.

The first few times he gets her machine, he assumes she must be at her mother’s. When she still hasn’t answered or called back by 9:00 pm, he’s confused. When he emails her the next morning and still hasn’t gotten a response at 10:00am, he’s officially worried.

Something is wrong.

———

She had eventually turned off the ringer on her phone and put the volume all the way down on her answering machine so she wouldn’t have to hear his increasingly obsessive attempts to get ahold of her, then slept fitfully all night.

She knows that she needs to give him some kind of response or he’ll show up on her doorstep, but she can’t bring herself to face him, even in voice. Every time the image of him with that woman pops back into her head, she feels a lump form in her throat immediately, a sick sadness welling in her belly. She’s pored over every memory in her mind, every interaction they’ve had, searching for signs. Signs that he was seeing someone else, that he wasn’t interested in anything other than getting in her pants, that he was lying to her. Her thorough inventory brings up next to nothing, which almost makes it worse; how adept he must have been at creating a false reality for her to exist in. Perhaps he’s garnered some tips from the sociopaths he studies, or maybe his background in psychology allowed him to manipulate her.

When she arrives at work, she is unsurprised though still dismayed to see an email waiting for her.

From: [email protected]

Sent: May 5, 1997 7:57 am

To: [email protected]

Subject: Where are you?

Scully, you’re freaking me out. Are you okay? Please respond.

She deletes it immediately and tries to focus on work. She performs an autopsy and teaches a class, both welcome distractions from her emotional torment. Just before 11:00 am, the phone rings.

“Autopsy bay, this is Trudy…yep, she’s here, one second.”

Trudy turns and opens her mouth to speak, but sees Dana waving her arms and shaking her head. She makes a confused face and puts the phone back to her ear.

“Oh, actually she just stepped out, sorry. Can I take a message?”

She watches as Trudy scribbles something on a piece of paper.

“Uh huh…yes. Okay, I’ll tell her…you have my word.”

She replaces the phone on the receiver and hands Dana the paper with a sympathetic frown.

“Trouble in paradise?” she asks rhetorically.

Dana looks down and deciphers Trudy’s messy scrawl.

Call Mulder immediately. Send a sign of life.

She crumples it up and tosses it into the trash can.

“You wanna talk about it?” Trudy asks.

“Nope,” Dana replies, turning back to the computer.

From: [email protected]

Sent: May 5th, 1997 11:03am

To: [email protected]

Subject: PLEASE RESPOND

Scully, I don’t know what the hell is going on, but if you don’t reply to this within an hour I’m driving down there.

Please respond

She feels fresh tears well in her eyes. Why is he trying so hard if he’s seeing someone else anyway? Why is he doing this to her? With a surge of anger, she hits reply.

From: [email protected]

Sent: May 5th, 1997 11:05am

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE:PLEASE RESPOND

I’m fine, Mulder. Please just give me some space.

With that she closes her email, begs someone to take her second class of the day, and goes home.

———

He feels like he’s stepped into an alternate universe. He’d left her happy and satisfied, and out of nowhere she’s shutting him out. What does she need space for? Space from him? Why? Did he come on too strong and freak her out? He thought they’d moved past that. He picks up the phone again.

“Autopsy bay, this is Trudy.”

“Trudy, it’s Agent Mulder again. Look, I don’t want to put you in an awkward position, but is Dana there?”

She pauses. “No, she went home for the day. She seemed pretty upset.”

“Do you have any idea why?” he implores.

“No, other than the fact that it seems to be directed at you.”

“Yeah, that much I gathered. Thanks, Trudy, sorry to bother you.”

“No worries, good luck.”

He slams the phone down, grabs his jacket off the back of his chair and leaves.

———

She is half expecting his knock, but it still makes her jump, nearly causing her to spill her wine. She wants to just ignore him until he goes away, but she knows his proclivity towards persistence won’t let him do that. Better to just get it over with, she thinks as she slumps towards the door.

The second she lays eyes on him in his slacks and dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his tie discarded, she feels her chin pucker and tears threaten her eyes. As angry as she is, she immediately wants to go to him, to curl up within his embrace so he can comfort her. The problem is, what she needs comforting from is him.

“What is going on?” he says with a mix of frustration and fear.

She stands in the open doorway, not making space for him to enter.

“I saw you,” she says, her voice strained with emotion.

“You saw me...what?” he asks, his face a mask of confusion.

She lifts her chin, clenching her jaw and summoning strength.

“I saw you with her. Yesterday, at the Bluebird Cafe. After I had lunch with my family.” her voice holds steady, anger carrying her through.

His face falls and her gut twists. She wishes she didn’t have to watch this.

“THAT is what this is about?” he asks, but there’s no shame or regret in his voice. If anything, he sounds a little mad.

She nods curtly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he spits out, and she recoils a little at his vitriol. “Let me in, Scully. Right now,” he demands, and against her better judgement she moves aside.

He pushes past her into the apartment and she closes the door softly, leaving it unlocked in case either of them decides to make a hasty exit.

“Did you consider,” he begins, his back to her, “maybe, I don’t know, asking me about what you saw?” He turns to face her, one hand on his hip and his face contorted with anger. “Or were you just planning to avoid me until I gave up and went away again?”

She doesn’t know what to say. She’s confused about why he’s yelling at her when he’s the one who did something wrong. She just looks at him, expressionless.

He juts his chin out expectantly, waiting for an answer, but gets none. She averts her eyes.

“Is that all this is worth to you, Scully?” he continues, “you’re ready to throw this away over a simple misunderstanding, without even talking to me?”

She lifts her head and looks at him with a pained expression. “Okay then, talk,” she gets out.

He drops his head in frustration. “The woman you saw me with,” he says flatly, lifting his head to meet her eye, “was my ex-girlfriend, Valerie. I ran into her while I was running errands yesterday, and we had lunch. She has a boyfriend and is three months pregnant. We spent the majority of our meal together talking about you.”

She shakes her head gently, her throat closing as a tear rolls down her cheek. “I saw you kiss her,” she whispers, her jaw quivering.

“You saw me kiss her on the cheek? I also kiss my mother on the cheek, Scully, it’s hardly an intimate gesture.”

She feels a new wave of sickness pass over her, but this time it’s entirely different. This time it’s the sick feeling of realizing that she was very, very, wrong, and that she has, yet again, hurt the man who loves her. She opens her mouth to speak but she can’t find the right words.

He steps forward but doesn’t touch her. When he speaks, his voice is softer, more defeated than anything else.

“I’m sorry that you saw something that upset you. But if you actually thought for a single second that I want to be with anyone but you, you’re fucking insane. I meant what I said the day you left my apartment last year. I felt it then, and I feel it now. I want this to work more than anything, Scully, but for that to be possible you have to trust me. I can’t live with the knowledge that you might just shut me out at a moment’s notice when you get scared.”

She keeps her head down, overwhelmed by a combination of shame, embarrassment, and gratitude that he wouldn’t let her walk away. She does not deserve this man, but she wants to.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, still unable to meet his eye.

“I know you are,” he replies, moving towards the door. “Take the space you need, and let me know when you’re ready to trust me.”

When she hears the click of the door closing behind him, she collapses to the floor, sobbing for so many reasons she couldn’t possibly name them all. When it’s faded to snivels and hiccups, she stands and goes to the hallway, picking up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Missy,” she chokes out, “Can you come over?”

———

He’s not sure if leaving was the right thing to do. The risk that she might not come back around is one that sends his stomach into knots, but at the same time he finds it hard to accept that she wasn’t even going to give him the opportunity to explain. He’s been actively working to temper expressing his feelings so he doesn’t overwhelm her, but then she gets it in her head that he’s not invested. It feels like he can’t win.

He goes back to work and stops by Kirkbride’s office to apologize for disappearing. Kirkbride just gives him a quizzical look, clearly not having noticed he had left. The rest of the day he buckles down on his caseload, distracting himself from the catastrophic thoughts that dance through his head, and gets more work done than he has in quite a while. When he leaves the office just after 5:00 pm, he feels melancholy and grouchy, and annoyed that he left the ball in her court.

The elevator dings to announce his arrival on the fourth floor and he steps out with a takeout bag in his hand, eyes downcast. Halfway down the hall, he readies his key and looks up, startling when he sees Scully sitting on the floor against his door, knees tucked up against her chest and her forehead resting on her kneecaps. She’s very still, and as he gets closer he realizes that she’s asleep. His heart aches knowing that she’s been waiting that long, that she didn’t want to leave without talking to him.

He crouches down beside her, setting his dinner on the floor, and gently touches her shoulder. She jerks, her head snapping up and her eyes wild for a moment while she tries to orient herself. When she focuses on him, she immediately starts crying, reaching out to wrap her arms around his neck. He’s surprised by her uncharacteristically emotional response, but says nothing and just holds her until his knees start to ache, at which point he sits down on the floor and pulls her into his lap. They stay this way for several minutes, long enough for one of his neighbors to walk by and politely avert their eyes, entering their apartment as though there was nothing out of the ordinary happening in the hallway. When the crying seems to have subsided a bit, he gives her a little squeeze.

“Wanna go inside?” he asks, and she nods against his chest, his shirt damp from her tears.

She stands unsteadily and he follows her, grabbing the takeout bag off the floor. They enter the apartment and Priscilla plods up to them with an excited meow. Scully leans down and picks her up, tucking the cat against her neck as they nuzzle each other. Mulder smiles at them with a bemused expression.

“She was talking to me through the door,” Scully says with a small smile, “she heard me knocking and was meowing from the other side. We had a conversation.”

Affection swells in his chest and he steps forward to kiss her. Her shoulders drop and she lets Priscilla down so she can get closer, threading her arms around his waist and kissing him back in earnest. Desperate, thought I’d lost you again kisses that are as arousing as they are a relief, because he knows that they will be okay.

He pulls back a little and she makes a whimpering sound in protest.

“I’m gonna go change really quick, okay? Then can we talk?” he asks, and she sighs and nods. “You can have half my Chinese,” he adds, and she gives him a tight-lipped smile.

When he sits on the couch beside her five minutes later, she scoots closer so they are pressed against each other, and he gathers that she needs physical closeness right now. He loops an arm around her shoulder and she crawls right back into his lap, curled against him as though trying to fuse her body to his own. Her head tucked beneath his chin, she holds one of his hands in her lap, fingers laced tightly together, and begins to speak.

“After you left, Missy came over and we talked for a long time. I’ve come to realize how much I’m still affected by...what happened last year. I harbor a lot of guilt for being unfaithful to Ethan, and that’s actually largely why I married him even though I knew my heart wasn’t in it.” She pulls in a deep breath, pressing their joined hands tight against her belly, trying to get even closer. “When you and I reconnected, in a way it felt like a chance to validate it. As though things working out with us would mean that what I did wasn’t as bad, because there was something real between us. But at the same time, a big part of me doesn’t believe that I deserve to be happy.” Her voice remains steady, but he feels the wet drop of a tear on the back of his hand.

He tightens his arm around her waist. “I’ve always been a person who values doing the right thing, and integrity was something that was very important to my father. It was his measure of a person’s character, and that’s something he instilled in me as well.” She sits up a bit so she can look at him, and his heart breaks at her red-rimmed eyes, her icy irises so mournful. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, Mulder. You haven’t given me any reason not to. It’s just that I don’t feel like I deserve this, especially with you, and I’m waiting for the moment it all comes crashing down. So when I saw you with that woman, it was almost like I’d been waiting for it, expecting it. Getting what I deserved.”

He brings his palms to her cheeks, brushing away the tears with his thumbs.

“Thank you for telling me that,” he says softly. “I wish I could change how you feel, but I know that I can’t. I do know how it feels to spend your life harboring guilt over something you could have done differently, and I can tell you that punishing yourself won’t make it any easier. It makes me really sad that you’ll always regret how we met.”

She closes her eyes and shakes her head gently. When she opens them, her expression is more tender than it is mournful.

“I don’t regret it, Mulder. I do feel guilt, and shame, for not ending it with Ethan so we could have done things the right way, but I could never regret meeting you.”

He pulls her back into an embrace, her arms wrapping around his ribcage, and plants a kiss to the top of her head.

“Are we okay?” he asks softly.

“I hope so,” she says hoarsely.

“Is this a bad time to tell you that Valerie wants to meet you sometime?” he asks, and she laughs.

“I don’t know, did you tell her that I freaked out on you because you had lunch with her?” she replies, and he can already hear her tone shifting back to their typical lighthearted banter.

“No, of course not. That’ll be our little secret. Well, plus Trudy. I think Trudy knows too much honestly.”

She laughs again, and god he could spend the rest of his life trying to make her laugh. In fact, that’s exactly what he hopes to do.

“Speaking of meeting people,” she continues, “Missy mentioned you to my mother yesterday and she wants to meet you.”

A grin stretches across his mouth, but he doesn’t say anything. She pulls back to look at his face, to gauge his reaction, and smiles softly in response.

“You want me to meet your mom?” he asks, the delight on his face carrying over to his voice.

Her mouth screws up shyly. “My little brother will probably be there too, and Missy. Is that too much?”

He shakes his head. “Sounds perfect. But, there are some friends I’d like you to meet too, if we’re meeting people.”

“The Lone Gunmen?” she asks with a skeptical lilt.

“Those are the ones. They’re my only friends, actually. Aside from Val.” Just then, Priscilla hops up onto the couch beside them. “Oh, and you Priscilla, sorry,” he adds.

Scully smiles at the cat, and then at him. “Can I bring Missy as a human buffer?” she asks hopefully.

“Of course. You may set a record for the highest number of female visitors to their lair in a day.”

“Lair?” she asks with wide eyes.

He chuckles. “They’ll grow on you, I promise.”

#the x files #dana scully #fox mulder #gillovny #txf #msr #sculder #x files fanfic #alternate universe

[stonefreeak]

I am so sorry this has taken me so long. I can’t believe i missed updating in February entirely! Work is busy, and I have moved and am trying to get everything in my apartment put together and it’s just A Lot right now. But I will work hard to not forget to update again!

Shaak Ti walks through the halls of Kamino, projecting the sort of calm she knows she's become known for over the years. In times of upheaval, anxiety, and unrest, being a source of calm and peace is helpful not just for yourself but also to the people around you. She's long since learned to keep a tight leash on her emotional responses.

It's not that she doesn't feel, to suggest such a thing would be ridiculous—she's hardly had the emotional centres of her brain damaged or removed after all—she's merely cautious with how she lets herself express it. If she becomes agitated, if she lashes out, she risks bleeding her own agitation into the Force and affecting other people and beings around her, stoking their agitation. Not to mention that she risks entering a feedback loop with the Force, where she projects her emotions into it, and it sends those emotions back to her causing a spiral into ever deepening loss of emotional control.

As a Force Sensitive being, allowing your emotions to get the better of you means you risk losing control of yourself entirely. Usually that means that people get hurt, and Shaak Ti has no interest in people coming to harm.

She locks her emotions down, catalogues them, acknowledges them, and leaves them for meditation later when she's alone and has the time to properly dissect what she's feeling and why she's feeling it.

A side effect of this is that she has an amazing poker face—none of her fellow council members will play Correllian poker with her anymore—and as she tries to investigate the supposed chips inside the troopers' brains, it more than serves her well.

The people of Kamino have very limited emotional reflection in the Force, it seems to be an inherent trait of their species. That they're also so foreign to her that she still cannot accurately gauge their emotions from their facial expressions—limited as they are—means that she's always in a precarious situation when she speaks with them on sensitive matters. Being able to tell if they're deliberately hiding something from her or if they simply don't know is more than a little bit difficult.

But if Master Kenobi is correct, then they are deliberately hiding something from them all. Something that Former Chancellor Palpatine likely knows about, was told about, but which they haven't shared with Master Kenobi despite him being the new Chancellor.

She doesn't like the sound of that, the idea that they wouldn't speak about it with any Supreme Chancellor, but rather only Palpatine. It gives her a bad feeling, and she wonders if, perhaps, the Former Chancellor is corrupt in a way they have yet to discover? She's been told by the rest of the Council that he's been found guilty of some milder charges—as far as any corruption charges are mild—but perhaps there's more to the whole thing. Perhaps there are things that the investigation couldn't find, because all evidence of it existed only in Kamino's data systems, far beyond the reach of the investigative team.

When Master Kenobi had first brought it up, she had agreed despite her own scepticism—she is not one for dismissing possible dangers off-hand, after all. With how things have developed... Well, she's starting to believe that he was on to something, even though her own research so far has not yielded much results.

Of course she realises that if the Kaminoans wish to hide these chips from them, her access codes would not give her access to anything that is related to the chips. But she had to look into it through official and open—to her—channels first. There is no good reason to treat people as untrustworthy criminals when you have not even the smallest bit of proof that they are that. She had originally planned to simply ask the Kaminoans about the chips, but once she was about to, a sudden feeling of unease swept over her, and she held her tongue.

But her general research has failed, and now she's facing a very difficult choice: either she asks the Kaminoans directly regarding the chips thus tipping them off to the fact that she knows about their existence in the first place, thus risking them looking more closely at her actions following said discussion, or she tries to conduct covert and far from legal entrance into their systems before she so much as ask them about it.

She pauses and realises that she's made an error in judgement. While it's true that the Kaminoans would keep a closer eye on her if she were to bring any of her concerns up to them... They are unlikely to believe she would trust any trooper.

Of course, if the chips exist at all, then the problem comes in the form of what the chips do. She has never sensed any sort of duplicity or danger from any of the clones she's ever trained or interacted with. They are good and loyal men, men who deserve more life than what the Republic is willing to give them due to their status as clones, so she does not fear trusting them.

The question is... Who should she ask?

There is sure to be capable and subtle troopers among those stationed here. All her men are capable of course, though not all of them are subtle.

She needs to find a trooper who can be trusted to work covertly, but also without being detected. They also need to be without pride, because if they get caught, they need to allow her to run interference in any way she can, and trust her to be doing so for their sake.

Perhaps she should lay a false trail, express worry about information leaks, and ask the Kaminoans regarding their security. Vaguely, not pressing for any details of course. However, just as with doing any clandestine breaking and entering the secure data centres of Kamino herself, she is too noticeable a figure. She cannot blend in or hide herself away, and if she asks too many questions, she risks making them suspicious.

If the Kaminoans are hiding something from the Jedi and the Chancellor—possible because the new chancellor is a Jedi—then she cannot tip them off to the fact that they are suspicious. That they are trying to investigate.

She would like to walk into this potential fire first, ahead of her men, as the Jedi do... But in this particular instance, she is quite certain that her presence at the metaphorical front would do more harm than good. She will need to send a trooper in her stead, and put her hope in their skills and strength.

She'll look into it, there are sure to be some who stand out as appropriate choices. Some who will be willing to help her with her covert mission. The clones have no love for the Kaminoans, as far as she knows, even though they seem to consider Kamino their home world. As far as she's been able to ascertain, their loyalty is with the Jedi and the Republic—even though the Republic has never given them anything, and the Jedi has never been able to give them anything except a clear command structure and the occasional meditation help and teachings about the Force.

Perhaps once this war is over, the clone troopers who still live can finally be given personhood and a place to live and stay. Perhaps when they're all finally free from this terrible war, her men can be allowed to flourish in any which way they want.

Not just on the battlefield.

For now she'll speak with the Council again. She cannot tell them openly, just in case the Kaminoans keep some sort of watch on their communication channels, set up to trigger on specific keywords. If they do, then they may already know that she is looking, so all the more important to not let them know any of what she's planning. But while she cannot speak plainly, she can speak in the kind of code that will have the Council send out a fleet to Kamino under some sort of pretence, and through that, she can send back a coded flimsi message containing any and all information she's found until then. Whichever trooper she finds for this mission will have to go with the fleet, and perhaps that will be the safest way for them all.

The Council will be able to request the trooper's aid far away from Kamino and the Kaminoans, and without any risk of them overhearing it. The Temple, at least, is safe enough that jammers alone will keep the information safe.

If she were to use any here, it would most likely make anyone looking to overhear her conversations suspicious.

The last thing they want is anyone trying to hide away the evidence.

They cannot afford any mistakes. It's too dangerous for that.

She lowers herself to her knees and places her hands gently in her lap, focusing on her breathing as she wraps the Force around her.

She will meditate on her next step before she makes any move at all. It wouldn't do to move too quickly and make a mistake.

—

(Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi masterpost)

#Supreme Chancellor Obi Wan Kenobi #star wars #Shaak Ti #my writing #update

[seiyasabi]

Beta

(This is a Yandere Alpha N’Doul x Beta Female Reader! I hope you guys enjoy this :))

TW: !Noncon/Dubcon!, no stand au, sexual harassment (from the big man himself, Dio),  mentions of disability(blindness)!, mentions of organised crime!, mentions of violence!, !knotting!, breeding kink!, you have no rights even as a Beta :((, !Alpha kink, !slight scent kink, !slight body horror at the end but nothing explicit!, etc..) 

When you accepted the role as a caregiver, you assumed that the man you were going to watch after was normal. After all, the man was rumoured to have a trust fund, and you assumed that he was rich from old money. 

How wrong you had been. 

How would you have known that the man you’re helping is in one of the most feared mafia’s in the world? 

You’d found this out by accident. He’d asked you to bring an expensive wine for him and a ‘friend,’ but when you walked in, you saw his ‘friend’ sprawled out on the floor, dead. That’s when he used his ‘Alpha Voice’ on you for the first time. He demanded you move into his estate, because he couldn’t risk you being a snitch. 

The ultimatum was to move in, or die, and by God, you weren’t going to die. 

-

“If you weren’t a Beta, I’d have stolen you away a long time ago,” Your hands shake slightly when you pour an expensive scotch into the blond Alpha’s cup. You’d always been sensitive to an Alpha’s scent or words, and this man’s smell is overwhelming. 

“Thank you, Mister Brando, but I’m sure my boss wouldn’t like that,” You chuckle nervously, as you swiftly move away from his large form. Taking a small glance towards N’Doul, you see an impassive look on his well-sculpted face. He’s used to his boss’ crude words towards you, but the annoyed pheromone in his scent is very apparent. 

“Of course he wouldn’t, you’re one of the few useful servants here,” He swishes the amber liquid around in his cup, the ice clinking against the glass making you flinch, “But, I have a proposition for you that I know you can’t refuse; you smell very… enchanting for a mere Beta. This is a known fact. The only differences between you and an Omega is that you’re level-headed and less annoying. That means that you’ll make a very good mate for one of my most trusted men,” By this time, you’d made your way to your boss, and were in the middle of pouring him a glass of a strong smelling bourbon. The blond Alpha’s words make your blood run cold, and you quickly stop pouring N’Doul his drink in fear of your shaking causing a spill. Dio’s golden eyes flash in amusement, “Why do you seem so surprised, Beta? You’ve been faithful to us for quite some time now, and I believe you deserve some comfort. If you marry him, you’ll live a lavish life. The only thing you must do for us, besides giving us unwavering loyalty, is bear him many children. The mafia needs a future generation, after all.” 

You gasp in disbelief, your free hand covering your gawking mouth. He can’t be serious. You weren’t born into a mafia family, you weren’t rich, you aren’t good on the field, etc., why would he want you to marry one of his high ranking men? 

“I, uhm, I’m flattered that you’d offer me such an amazing, uhm, opportunity, but I don’t think I can up and leave my boss. I’ve helped him for about two years, so it might not be very good for him-” N’Doul suddenly grabs your right wrist, scaring you half to death. You almost drop the bourbon bottle in your left hand, but luckily regain your hold on it. 

“She’s right, Master Dio, I still need her assistance in my manor. She helps me write my paperwork, reads off important messages, and assists with many other equally as important tasks. It would be quite hard for me to find someone who is as trusted and reliable as she is,” He slowly releases his hold on you, gently squeezing your right hand’s fingers. You shift uncomfortably on your feet, Dio looks positively pleased with himself, while your boss looks in his general direction with an unamused expression. 

“Are you both sure that you want to miss out on this opportunity? I didn’t even say the Alpha’s name yet,” The both of you vehemently nod, you because you don’t want to marry some rando to become a baby factory, and your boss because he can’t bear the thought of you being mated to someone else. “I see, what a shame. I was actually going to offer her to you, N’Doul, but I guess she can continue to be your servant if you want,” The dark haired Alpha’s scent turns sour, making you gulp in both fear and confusion. 

“Master Dio, what are you implying?” 

“You want to marry her, don't you? Your sweet Beta always takes care of you, she’s willing to do anything to make you comfortable,” Oh God, Dio thinks you’re in love with your boss, “And don’t think I haven’t noticed the change of your scent when she walks into the room, or how you treat her so kindly. The N’Doul I know wouldn’t have hesitated to kill someone if they found out his secret, yet you spared her without a second thought. It seems that the both of you have found your match,” He throws his drink back, finishing it with a single swig, “But, if you still don’t wish to marry, I understand-”

“Please don’t play with my feelings,” Your boss stands to his feet, his scent now overwhelmingly angry, “Of course I’d want to marry her, is that really a question you must ask?” Dio smirks at his uncharacteristic anger. 

“Oh, is that so? Then I suppose I will allow it,” He stands to his feet as well, easily towering over the both of you, “Now that that’s settled-”

“Wait! I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but don’t I get a say in this?” N’Doul, who is closest to you, tries to reach out for you again, but you easily dodge his hand, “I’m sorry Master N’Doul, but I don’t want to marry you. I also don’t want any children, and I don’t want any direct involvement with the mafia. I’m fine helping you out around the house and doing my job, but I don’t want anything besides a professional relationship,” It’s quiet for a long moment, a look of hurt flashing over your boss’ face, along with an upset smell permeating the room, before Dio begins to laugh. 

“Oh my, it’s so adorable that you think you have a choice. Did you forget that even though you’re not an Omega, the law still views you as lesser to an Alpha? For once, we’d be following the law in making you submit to your Alpha,” The blond rounds the left side of the table, heading straight towards you. In a panic, you try to move to your right to round the table and run for the door, but you run into your boss. 

Instead of being thrown off kilter like usual, he stands firm. His arms wrap around your middle, forcing you up against him. You think that he’s surprisingly well built for a man who needs your help 24/7, and that’s when you realise that you’re just a cover. The police know that you work for him, and whenever they’ve questioned you, you’ve always said the same thing; he has no sense of balance, he needs your help to get around the house, etc.. But, looking at the situation at hand, it’s clear that he’s never needed you for anything besides his mafia paperwork. 

“I think she’s figured it out N’Doul,” The scary Alpha is now before you, staring down at you with a shit-eating grin, “Though, that doesn’t matter. What matters now is that you listen to me well,” Oh no, “You’re going to marry him, whether you want to or not. You will give him as many pups as he wants, or else you’ll be punished. If you try to escape, you will be punished. Do you understand me?” He’s used his Alpha voice on you. Normally this wouldn’t phase a Beta, but you were no normal Beta. 

Against your better judgement, you nod, saying a very forced, “Yes, Alpha,”

“Good. His rut will begin in a few days. When that happens, you will service him as an Omega would. I will give you some heat inducing pills, and you will take them the moment his rut begins,” You stare at the ground with a frown, and nod. 

“Okay… but how will they work? I’m not an Omega-” N’Doul’s hold tightens around your ribs exponentially, making you wheeze. 

“Don’t act too rash,” He scolds the dark haired Alpha, “That’s an excellent question, Beta,” You flinch at his words, and freeze in fear when he grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him, “There are many drugs on the market that can trigger a reaction from your kind. Many Alphas find it fun to break a Beta down into a gushing, cock or pussy hungry whore. You, my dear, are going to be my dear friends’ mate, which means you need to be ready for a long and hard week. If you aren’t you’ll surely die of exhaustion,” N’Doul growls at that, causing Dio to shush him softly, “So, to stop that, you’re going to go into heat as well. It’s as simple as that.”

His words are calming ones, trying to lull you into a false sense of security. But, you know better. You know that both men can kill you easily, you know that your boss could give you up, ending with you becoming a sex slave. So, to save your own skin, you give in. 

“Okay. I understand.”

-

The next few days are a whirlwind of emotion. Because his cover has now been blown, N’Doul refuses your help with any task besides paperwork. Turns out, he’s very high functioning, and he is able to count his steps to-and-fro, and is also able to do things like cooking without your help. 

Ever since that day with Dio, he’s been trying to make it up to you. He’ll make you your favourite food, dress you in pretty dresses, help you shower, etc..  It’s honestly suffocating, but whenever you try to distance yourself, one of his few servants will detain you, only to return you back to the patient Alpha. 

The day before his scheduled rut, one of the female servants took it upon herself to wax your entire body. Unfortunately for you, she’s a very old fashioned Alpha, and she had no qualms in using her Alpha voice against you. So, she sat you down on the edge of a large jacuzzi like bath tub, and went to town. When your soon to be mate called for you, it’d taken all of your power to walk down the stairs without falling flat on your face. He’d known something was wrong, because your smell wasn’t as lovely as usual, and the way you walked sounded completely different than normal. You didn’t bother lying to him, and to say he was pissed was an understatement. 

A low growl draws you from your thoughts, along with the heavy smell of arousal trailing from N’Doul’s quarters. Sighing in dread, you head towards your dresser, grabbing the pills Dio gave you from a small unused jewelry box. Chucking them into your mouth, you unscrew the cap of your water bottle and take a large swig, swallowing down the aphrodisiac you are forced to take. 

Shuffling towards your door, you hear the male’s groaning grow loader. Is he outside your door? Grabbing the cool doorknob, you practically throw the door open, expecting to see him kneeling outside. When the hallway is exposed, there’s no one there. Sticking your head outside, you check to see if he was farther down the hall. Nope. It’s empty. 

You see his room a few doors down, and realise he’s just that noisy. 

Straightening your posture and taking a deep breath, you trudge towards his abode. Knocking lightly on the door, you call out to him, “A-are you okay in there?” All noises cease, leaving you in suspense. Putting your ear against the door, you try to listen in to see if he dropped dead or if he was walking towards the door. You hear nothing, and prepare to pull away, only for the door to open, making you fall forward. Two warm arms catch you with a quickness, before you’re dragged into the dark room, and tossed onto a very comfortable bed. 

You bounce once you hit the mattress, only to be pinned down in an instant. He noses your throat, ghosting over your scent glands. His tongue laps at your neck greedily, trying to taste your skin on his tongue. N’Doul’s large, Rough hands grope at the fat of your hips, trailing up to your breasts. He seems to be trying to get a reaction out of you, but all you do is cringe. 

The pills haven’t fully kicked in yet, so you’re very uncomfortable under the rough treatment the Alpha is giving you. Noticing this, he growls in annoyance, “Don’t act shy, Darling. I’ll make you feel good if you make me feel good,” Did he truly mistake your discomfort for timidity? 

“I, uhm,” He silences you with a heated kiss, both of your spit mixing together, much to your disgust. His fingers pull and prod at your blouse covered nipples, twisting slightly to elicit a reaction. A gasp leaves your lips, as you try to remove his hands. The medicine was slowly, but surely starting to work, making your breasts more sensitive than usual. 

He grips the material of your shirt with two fingers, a small snarl coming from his lips, “I want this off. If you want to keep it, you better strip fast,” You practically throw your shirt over your head, moving as fast as you can. Your best friend had given you his shirt years ago, and you’ve used it as a sleep shirt ever since. 

A small smile decorates his harsh features, as he is finally able to feel your skin against his. He squeezes your breasts, loving the feeling of your fat between your fingers. You try not to look, hoping to zone out the entire session, but the rapid heat appearing in your tummy is making it very hard to do so. 

“I can’t wait until these are filled with milk, your Alpha might have to have a taste for himself,” A gasp leaves your lips at his erotic words, especially when his lips connect with your right nipple. He suckles on it like a child, whilst toying with the hem of your panties. With one swift movement, he shucks them down your legs without separating from your chest. 

A loud moan escapes your throat, as he starts to toy with your puffy pussy. The waxing from the night before makes you more sensitive than normal, eliciting all the right reactions. He removes himself from your chest, bringing your panties to his nose, breathing in your slick. 

“Such a yummy and cute little Beta, no wonder everyone everyone confuses you for an Omega,” He licks the seat of your panties, practically cumming in his drawers at your taste, “Fuck, you even taste fertile. Does your little womb want my cum, Darling? Want me to pump a cute baby into you?” His words send another wave of heat to your core, causing your slit to gush out your arousal. 

“Yes, yes please! Please fill me up!” He smirks at your neediness, and he shoves your legs apart. The smell of your arousal permeates the room, causing the large man to choke on his own spit. 

“Oh my, your pussy smells so good,” N’Doul practically dives between your legs, sniffing at your dripping pussy. Your hands reach down and grip at his black locks, practically begging him to eat you out. 

“Please lick my pussy! I was to take your knot,” He starts to kitten lick at your clit, causing tour hips to buck into his face, smearing your arousal over his chin and nose. He moans, loving the thought of everyone knowing that he belongs to you. 

“Such a Good Girl, in no Time, we’ll have a cute pup running around. Then I’ll fuck another one into you, giving them a sibling to hang out with,” You keen at his words, especially when he inserts two fingers into you at once. He scissors them at a fast pace, sucking on your clit harshly. Your cunt gushes in your first orgasm, making your back arch and a scream leave your lips, “What a good Darling, loosen up so I can fuck you full.” 

He adds two more into your cunt, your pussy sucking his fingers with an iron grip. His hips rut into the mattress below, as he brings you to a second release. 

“I’m gonna stuff you full, keep you locked on my knot. My Darling Beta, my cute cumslut,” he withdraws his hand from your heat, making you whine. But, he’s quick to shut you up with another heated kiss. Pushing your knees back, he puts you into a mating press. With one hand he keeps you in that position, and the other pushes his drawers off of his hips, kicking them off onto the floor. 

Lining his tip to your slick hole, he dips it in, testing the waters. When he feels your ring of muscle practically pulling you in, he can’t help but slam his entire length into you, causing you to scream out in both pleasure and pain. His tip rams into your cervix harshly, trying to access your deepest point. 

He doesn’t give you time to adjust, and starts to roughly fuck into you. His heavy balls slap against your ass in a rhythmic fashion, whilst he forced your knees by your head. 

“Fuck, your sloppy cunt is taking me so well. I love the way you gush around my cock,” You can’t say anything, too overwhelmed with pleasure. Your mouth falls open, eyes rolling back into your head. Pathetic moans rattle your chest, as he smashes himself as close as he can to you, “Don’t worry, Beta, your Alpha will fill you up nicely. I’ll make you round with my baby, I’ll give you pretty milky tits, and I’ll take care of you for the rest of your life!” 

He picks up his pace, trying to draw out more noises and slick to help him force his way in. His knot is quickly forming at the base of his cock, and it pulls almost painfully at the opening of your slit. 

“A-Alpha, I’m gonna, I’m gonna cum!” He smiles at your admission, starting to force his knot inside. 

“Good Beta, cum around your Alpha’s knot,” N’Doul forces his entire weight onto you, bucking his hips even harsher than before. 

His knot catches on your opening one more time, before breaching your drooling cunt. He ruts into you for a few moments longer, before his knot hardens fully, breaching the opening of your womb, locking himself inside of you. 

The feeling of him knotting you causes you to squirt, your release just barely slipping past your stuffed opening, painting his abs with your cum. He forces his mouth onto yours, as his seed pumps into you in thick spurts. He fills you up so much, that you feel bloated, your tummy poking out a little bit more than normal. N’Doul Real esse your legs, letting you settle into a comfortable position, his warm hand lays on your stuffed womb. 

“My beautiful mate, I’m so happy you accepted me. We’ll have the best pups, I’ll make sure none of you want for anything. Fuck, why’re you squeezing me so harshly?” 

You whine in both pain and pleasure, laying your forearm across your eyes, “I think I need to go to the hospital. Betas aren't meant to take knots, and you’re currently deep in my womb,” He scrambles to pull himself out, only to yank on your womb harshly, making a small scream of pain escape your lips, and tears dot your eyes, “No! No! Not right now, oh god, that hurts so bad!” 

His moment of post nut clarity, brings him to kiss your face with multiple tender kisses. 

“It’s okay, Darling, we’ll patch you up soon. Maybe Dio will have a drug to make this less painful for you.” 

You stare up at the ceiling with dread, the pills he gave you makes you feel good, yes, but the pain of no longer having freedom and a knotted cock in your womb is enough to make you sick. 

Hopefully your kid will be cute. Because, if not, you don’t know what you’ll do. 

#yandere n'doul #yandere n'doul x reader #n'doul x reader #yandere jjba #yandere jjba x reader #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #yandere omegaverse #omegaverse #jjba omegaverse

[lesbiansforboromir]

once again you made me deeply emotional over boromir. i don't have the fellowship (much less the english edition) at hand, so i can't even re-read my fav parts with him. any particular boromir-related stuff you may share?

FUCK ok I’ve got a migraine and a passion and I do not know how to use either of them but I’m gonna use this ask to talk about something I’ve been thinking about for months, not kidding on that one. 

Galadriel... was the direct cause of Boromir trying to take the ring- HEAR ME OUT.��

There are some very important things to remember about Boromir when you’re considering his actions and motives.

- He explicitly came on the quest assuming it would lead them all to Minas Tirith, because that’s where he needed to get back too. It’s very clear, he and Aragorn are literally going because Minas Tirith is on the way to Mordor. And every detour and every delay of the Company amps up his frustration and worry. 

- He left Gondor with the certainty that his city would be besieged VERY soon and that they would not be able to break it. His trip to Rivendell is desperation based in it’s entirety, he’s looking for anything that might help. 

- He knows absolutely none of these people from adam and whilst he very much wants to trust them, they have yet to win his loyalty or faith in ANY capacity. I’m sorry! I know everyone wants the Fellowship to be that good good found family foundation but it simply isn’t that for Boromir and never has been.

Okay so when they finally leave Moria and Gandalf’s dead, everyone’s grieving and miserable. They are also worried, Gandalf was their guide and as much as Aragorn’s a tracker he doesn’t have Gandalf’s expertise. Then again, Moria had been entirely Gandalf’s decision in the first place, claiming there wouldn’t be many orcs in there at all in an argument he has with Boromir about how dangerous the mines would be in comparison to the Gap of Rohan. Indeed, if Bilbo hadn’t given Frodo the mithril shirt then Frodo would be straight up dead and it would have been Gandalf’s decisions that caused it. 

So at this point Boromir’s faith in Aragorn’s ability is pretty low. And no one else in the Fellowship has any interest in leading. Boromir deferred to Aragorn’s judgement because Aragorn’s more knowledgeable of Eriador and also just... a dude who needs to be in control, it’s easy to tell. But now Boromir’s not so sure Aragorn’s up to it, since he seemed to rely on Gandalf so much. 

And then Aragorn tells them all they’re going to go through the Golden Wood. Now Boromir knows from the Rohirrim and Gondorian legend that the Golden Wood is Strange And Scary And Dangerous And Men Who Walk in Never Walk Out Again. And he says this, politely. Aragorn tells him he’s foolish for fearing it and essentially that if people got hurt in the Golden Wood then they deserved it. Again, despite the general discourtesy of these comments, Boromir chooses to believe Aragorn’s judgement. 

The next thing that happens is they are accosted by Haldir, treated like possible enemies or spies (despite Haldir admitting that Elrond had already told them they were coming) and a day and a lot of dwarfphobia later Haldir is threatening Gimli with death. No I’m not joking, Haldir says there’s a law dwarves can’t come into Lothlorien without a blindfold. And when Gimli gets justifiably angry about this and wants to go back if he’s being treated this way, Haldir says he WILL be killed if he tries to leave. Weapons are drawn! The only reason this de-escalates is because Aragorn suggests they all go blindfold because ‘it is hard on the dwarf to be so singled out’. I cannot express to you how soon this happens after Aragorn assures everyone that Lothlorien is safe. I also cannot emphasise enough how Gimli does absolutely nothing to deserve this, he’s polite and kind as ever until Haldir instigates it. 

So again!! Another mark against Aragorn’s reliability! And then we come to the CRUX of the matter, the meeting with Galadriel and Celeborn. 

A lot happens here, some of it very funny in terms of Galadriel’s treatment of Celeborn, but the important part is at the end where Galadriel mind-interrogates all the fellowship but Aragorn and Legolas. Again, this isn’t subtext, in-text it says interrogate. And the fellowship discusses it afterwards. Gimli, Sam, Merry and Frodo all agree that ‘Galadriel offered them a choice, to go back home where they would be safe, or to continue on with the quest though there may be far greater perils ahead’. 

But that couldn’t have been the choice she gave Boromir. Because he can’t go home to be safe and sound away from the evil!! He lives there!! This has been Boromir’s fight his whole life, it has never BEEN a choice for him. And from this moment on Boromir’s manner changes dramatically. He questions Frodo about what Galadriel asked him, he expresses concern about Galadriel’s motives, he says he believes she was TEMPTING HIM (remember that for later), concerns which are, once again, sharply and cruelly dismissed by Aragorn. 

There is then a MONTH of a time skip, we get descriptions of the how the other fellowship spend their time in Lothlorien. Gimli and Legolas become friends. Everyone else grieves Gandalf and has a lovely time in Lothlorien... apparently. 

But Boromir has never had any real positive feelings toward Gandalf and did not show any real grief at his loss initially. And whereas the rest of the fellowship seems respectful and awed by Galadriel and Celeborn, Boromir replies to their questions at the end of the fellowship’s stay in Lothlorien with what I would call veiled anger. `As for me,' said Boromir, `my way home lies onward and not back.' Which is a callback to the interrogation, the stark difference between the motivations and priorities of the rest of the Fellowship in comparison to Boromir. Which became VERY obvious to him in that moment. So I would posit that! Boromir did not have a good time at all! Boromir was stuck somewhere he felt unsafe and unwelcome and every extra second they spent in Lothlorien was yet another moment he was away from his currently-at-war home!!! 

Anyway just before they leave the fellowship is privately discussing what road they should take when Boromir makes a slip of the tongue, where he’d always been articulate and clear before. 

‘But if you wish to destroy the armed might of the Dark Lord, then it is folly to go without force into his domain; and folly to throw away-’ He paused suddenly, as if he had become aware that he was speaking his thoughts aloud. `It would be folly to throw lives away, I mean.'

It is very obvious to Frodo what he actually meant here, and this is where essentially Frodo’s inner monologue lays it all out!

Frodo caught something new and strange in Boromir's glance, and he looked hard at him. Plainly Boromir's thought was different from his final words. It would be folly to throw away: what? The Ring of Power? He had said something like this at the Council, but then he had accepted the correction of Elrond.

The important points in this section are that 1: Boromir has started thinking about the Ring of Power as something usable. 2: He did not think this before now, he had accepted Elrond’s words. This is ‘new and strange’. Something changed here. 

And of course it did! Boromir doesn’t trust any of these clowns anymore. 

Boromir’s advice, priorities and concerns have been almost entirely ignored and derided throughout the fellowship, even from the very moment he arrived in Rivendell! And after nearly freezing on a mountain, being chased by wargs, dragged through a mine of Orcs, a Balrog, threatened by supposed allies and then mind invaded by some elf he’s told to be in awe of, whatever will he had to trust and stay faithful to Aragorn’s decisions is barely hanging on. 

And Galadriel didn’t just invade Boromir’s mind, she was tempting him! He says so himself! And considering the circumstances and how he speaks about it, the only logical conclusion is that she is tempting him with the ring, because Boromir’s shown no sign of conflict or interest in the ring before now. So Galadriel was the one who put that concept into his mind in the first place. It’s Galadriel who initiates Boromir thinking again on whether this was in Gondor’s best interests. And Boromir recognises she’s trying to manipulate him!! Which is fucking heartbreaking!! 

'To me it seemed exceedingly strange,' said Boromir. `Maybe it was only a test, and she thought to read our thoughts for her own good purpose; but almost I should have said that she was tempting us, and offering what she pretended to have the power to give.’ (--)  `Well, have a care! ' said Boromir. `I do not feel too sure of this Elvish Lady and her purposes.'  `Speak no evil of the Lady Galadriel! ' said Aragorn sternly. 'You know not what you say. There is in her and in this land no evil, unless a man bring it hither himself. Then let him beware!’

Do you see?? Do you all see?? Am I making any sense at all?? Well I make sense to ME so lets continue- Here, you see how Aragorn puts all the blame on Boromir again? The twisted knot Boromir is in at this point is unfathomable and EVEN STILL! Boromir resists! For a very long time! This is what I mean when I say any characterisations of Boromir being overemotional or somehow out of control get at me so much, NEVER has a man had so much self discipline in his wholeass life. Boromir’s entire civilisation could be being bulldozed by Minas Morgul at this very moment and yet he takes everything that’s thrown at him without malice and internally continues to desperately hold onto his integrity. 

But that’s what’s at stake! His integrity! Because now he’s grappling with what seems like a choice to either keep faith with the fellowship, stay with them and go where they go despite how much his country needs him, or potentially do something drastic in order to bring a the powerful weapon Gondor seems to have ALWAYS been looking for home to finally actually save his people. Because that’s what Galadriel offered him! And whilst he doesn’t trust her, it’s also in his head now as a logical thing to want! He doesn’t trust Elrond either at this point, so why should he believe what he said about the ring! It’s obvious everyone has boundless ulterior motives!!

Oh! Here’s a good place to try and explain my theory of how the ring’s temptation actually works. The Ring can control people one of two ways. The first we see with Frodo and with Boromir, it takes FULL control of their actions for a split second when they are vulnerable. For Frodo it made him put it on on Weathertop. For Boromir it made him attack Frodo. However this effect is exceedingly temporary and the person effected immediately comes back into themselves and recognises that what they did was outside of their control. 

The other way is often thought of as this like pervasive constant pull to the ring that effects you even just by being around it, wearing you down etc. But I don’t think that’s what happens. I think, in order for the ring to start exerting real dangerous persistant power over you, you have to know it’s power and logically want it. You have to come to that conception yourself, you have to think about it. 

And I have a lot of reasons for this but where it pertains here-!! Boromir is a fine, reliable and solid member of the fellowship RIGHT up until Galadriel’s mind meld. It’s not gradual, he goes from making jokes, carrying Hobbits and fighting Balrogs to BARELY being able to control his speech and biting his nails and staring at Frodo creepily. There is barely any easing into it and it starts with Galadriel!!

And you know what! There’s an even more sinister layer to this because like... WHY was Galadriel doing this mind stuff in the first place? An immediate obvious answer would be to test the fellowship, to make sure everyone was solid enough to carry on, to ensure the folk who continued were focused. But... If that’s the case... and Boromir’s test was the Ring... like... he obviously failed that test right? She was reading his mind! And she does it again before they leave! If we’re to assume that Galadriel’s mind powers are greater than Boromir’s ability to deflect them then... surely she would have known! That this turmoil was in him! And if she KNEW then why didn’t she say anything to anyone? To Aragorn?? But I don’t think yall are ready for that discussion yet tbh and I have to stop typing or I’ll go blind.

TL;DR Boromir didn’t want the Ring until Galadriel tempted him with it and made the idea of it saving Gondor a possibility to him. 

#galadriel critical #boromir #erran vs tolkien #UGH that was good to get out even though I am CERTAIN it's incomprehensible #tolkien #lotr #gondor #I've got so much boromir meta built up in me cus I've been too out of it to do any real writing #and so many asks I wanna answer right!! #chats #HHHH #Anonymous