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omegalomania · 3 years

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I think tumblr ate my ask or it just didn't sent but what are your favorite Bastille songs / what are some songs you recommend?

i did NOT get this ask im very sorry anon.

it's genuinely hard for me to narrow down cause bastille is pretty up there in terms of favorite artists. i love all their shit, but a special mention goes out to their second studio album wild world since it's the one that made me a Fan

uh so here's a primer i guess i spent too much time on this lmao.

if you wanna listen to their big hits:

flaws - their first single in the uk. if you ever listened to ship playlists on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 then you've probably heard this song or a variant on it at some point.

pompeii - this is the song that really put them on the map and you definitely know it. it dominated the charts all over the place.

happier - the marshmello song that you've definitely heard before too. i think bastille wrote this for justin bieber or some shit but then decided they liked it too much to give it to him? lmao. anyway if you're not digging the version you hear on the radio all the time i recommend trying the stripped down version

good grief - their big hit off their second album. big in the uk, didn't really make as many waves elsewhere, but it's a really solid song anyway. one of those "upbeat tunes that's actually really fucking sad" ones

things we lost in the fire - another one off their first album. if you live in a wildfire area this might not be one to turn to. or maybe you'll find it cathartic idk i certainly do!!

quarter past midnight - a song about escapism, as was fitting when it was released in 2018 and equally fitting now. running away for a night of fucking around with friends, craving any kind of brief departure from the chaos of the modern world

skulls - this one was not a hit or a single and is technically a bonus track but i'm including it because once again if you ever clicked on a ship playlist on 8tracks in like 2013-2015 you've heard this one. and you know what that was justified this one is also good

if you wanna feel existentially depressed:

their whole discography. i mean i kid but i also don't. that's just kind of how bastille does it. BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS ones that hit me in particular would beeee

two evils - kind of a grim, haunting one introspecting about morality of the self.

oblivion - musing about the afterlife, love, and how time changes all of us.

those nights - contemplating what it is we seek when we plunge into reckless escapism, and the inherent loneliness of it; how even when surrounded by people there's still the pressure of the world outside, continuously coming to pieces

the draw - this one was written about the pull of pursuing a career in music vs. staying home with family and friends. in a broader sense, it can apply to a lot of things. i always felt it resonated with feelings of paranoia and displacement

winter of our youth - discusses childhood, nostalgia, and regret. if it feels like everything's slipping away, is it easier to relive the past, especially if the past is tinted rose?

sleepsong - loneliness, desperation, and the cyclical, abyss-like nature of all it encapsulates

if you want discussion of serious topics:

final hour - a bonus track off their second album that also became a bonus track off their third album? anyway this song talks about climate change and gun control. happy stuff

doom days - this one talks about, uh, everything! doomscrolling, political divides, escalating national tensions, climate change again, etc.

the currents - a song centered on political rhetoric and the power that figureheads have over the masses, the way they can orchestrate hate. basically it's not so subtly aimed at donald trump lmao, dan's literally sung it as much in a few live settings

WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? - social media addiction and the way capitalism and corporate interests have annexed our online experiences, fighting desperately for our attention as they seek to monetize every available aspect of our lives

four walls (the ballad of perry smith) - well this one is about uh. perry smith. who was charged with the death penalty for killing 4 people in the late 50's. but it's less directly about him and more a discussion of the morality of the death penalty and capital punishment

snakes - burgeoning anxieties and the impulse to turn to easy outs, like ignorance or alcoholism, to escape the world's global problems

if you want some pop culture sprinkled on top:

icarus - greek mythology. i like this one because it addresses something that i feel isn't addressed enough in discussions of this myth, which is that icarus is a very young lad. less about the pride of the fall, and more about the inherent tragedy of that.

laura palmer - the whole song is a david lynch shoutout. i've never seen twin peaks myself but the song still slaps.

daniel in the den - christian mythology. discusses the biblical tale of daniel in the lion's den and links that up to themes of betrayal and family.

poet - this one's a double feature, referencing both william shakespeare's sonnet 18 and edmund spencer's sonnet 75. also one of my favorites.

send them off! - this is another one of my favorites of theirs. it's also been described by dan as "othello meets the exorcist" and it very much delivers there

if you want something uplifting:

joy - while bastille (understandably) has a bit of reputation as a band that makes sad music about sad things, they've definitely got some happier songs in their catalogue. pun intended cha ching. this one's one of their more straightforwardly happy tunes

survivin' - this was a song they wrote while they were touring and then felt weird about releasing once the panini hit because it felt a bit on the nose. they ended up releasing it anyway and i am so glad they did cause it's a mood

act of kindness - the "happy" part here is debatable but i'm gonna include it anyway. it’s when someone does something nice for you and that impulse Changes you way down deep you know???

warmth - one of those "the world's going to shit but at least we have each other" kinds of tunes

the anchor - one of those "the world's going to shit but you're the one fucking thing that's still keeping me here" kinds of tunes

give me the future - their latest single as of this writing and one of the more optimistic tracks in their catalogue imo! it's yearning, but it's also with a genuine hope for the future.

and LASTLY. because im going to take every chance i can to plug this band. im going to throw some collabs and covers at you because there's one thing this band does SUPER well and it's collabs and covers.

of the night - this is the big one. it mashes up rhythm of the night by corona and rhythm is a dancer by SNAP! and it's so good they still do this one live and it goes off every time.

no angels - a mashup of "no scrubs" by TLC and "angels" by the xx, poured into a strangely mournful tune with clips from the hitchcock movie psycho. doesn't sound like it should work but it does. kinda really does.

torn apart - with GRADES and lizzo no less!!! it's got two parts but they're both excellent listen to them both

weapon - collab with angel haze, dan priddy, and F*U*G*Z and one of my absolute favorites

remains - remix of their song "skulls" but featuring rag'n'bone man and skunk anansie that adds an entire new dimension to the song, really fucking excellent

old town road mashup - lil nas x's old town road meets lizzo's good as hell meets radiohead's talk show host meets talking heads' road to nowhere meets the osmond's crazy horse. "what the fuck that shouldn't work" i KNOW and yet here it is!! BLATANTLY BANGING!!!

we can't stop - one of the few times dan smith subtly changes the lyrics of the song he's covering (most of the time he opts to keep the original pronouns and the like, which is very nice to see). anyway this one mixes miley cyrus's we can't stop with eminem's lose yourself and billy ray cyrus's achy breaky heart. and also the lion king's i just can't wait to be king is there. yes i know it sounds batshit especially because the whole thing is surprisingly melodic and heartfelt and you know what it works.

anyone but me x nightmares - mashing up joy crookes' anyone but me with easy life's nightmares and absolutely one of my favorites.

bad guy mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "bad" in the title? we've got bad guy (billie eilish), bad decisions (bastille), bad romance (lady gaga), and bad blood (taylor swift). bastille even has a song called bad blood and they didnt use it. they used taylor swift's version. also the distinctive guitar riff from dick dale's misirlou is there.

somebody mashup - how many songs can they include with the word "some" in the title? someone like you (adele), somebody told me (the killers), somebody to love (queen), use somebody (kings of leon), and someone you loved (lewis capaldi). seriously these guys take mashups to a new level.

final song - this is a cover of MØ's final song. it also adds in craig david's 7 days and, impossibly enough, europe's final countdown. how does it work. how.

ALL RIGHT. THATS ALL IVE GOT IN ME. HOPE THIS HELPED ANON AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS TOO MUCH

#askin hours #anon #bastille #ill put this in the bastille tag why not #this is predominantly a fall out boy blog but if any bastille bloggers are out there....all like 20 of you....#i see the work u do in this fandom and i love u for it

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

"Clueless" *Part 3*

Okay so my dog ended up being totally fine, and luckily I had most of this written beforehand. <3

PS- REALLY shouldn't have watched the actual movie while writing this...lulz. Count how many actual lines from the movie you catch.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4

Tag List:

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

@stars-in-the-skies-world

-----

He drove back up the Beach House, but you and Ariel had abandoned it for a loft in the city, no forwarding address. He asked himself why he was putting so much effort just to get back in contact with you. He couldn’t explain it, it was like something against logic.

He dialed Ariel’s number.

IGNORE.

Redial.

IGNORE.

Text: “Answer your phone!!!”

Redial.

“What do you want?”

“I want to talk to Y/N,”

“Well she doesn't want to talk to you,”

“What did you tell her, Ariel?”

“The truth,”

“I don’t...I can’t even begin to imagine what that means in your language,”

“Oh whatever Raf, what does it matter what I told her? She’s MY friend, not yours!”

“You don’t OWN her Ariel,”

“Don’t I?” She smirked. “I feed her, I clothe her, I give her a roof to sleep under. I even gave her a cute necklace with her name on it, like a collar,” she smirked.

"You're evil," he sneered.

“I’m a saint,” She scoffed. “Do you know where that girl would be without me? Do you know the years it would take in a therapist's office to heal the emotional trauma I so selflessly saved her from? Her life will be enriched and better because of me, how many girls can say that about you?"

“Oh right, like helping her hasn’t served you any purpose?”

“What purpose could it possibly have?”

“Please, if I ever saw you do anything less than 90% selfish I’d die of shock,”

“Oh that would be reason enough for me,”

“Look, I get it. You've never had a mother so you're treating her like your personal Barbie doll,"

“And what, you wanna be her Prince Ken? Or, lawyer Ken,”

“She’s NOT a Barbie doll!”

“You’re right, she’s not. So I’m not going to let you play with her emotions,”

“What does that even mean? For fuck’s sake Ariel, I just want to be her mentor,”

“Really?” Rafael could hear her rolling her eyes through the phone. “You’re trying THIS hard to mentor some girl you met less than 24 hours ago? REALLY,” She chuckled.

“I may not be ‘Harvard’ smart BRO, but I’m not stupid. I know when a guy has let’s say, less than moral intentions with a girl,”

“It’s not like that,” He growled. “She’s a sweet girl, Ariel. And I’m not going to let you try and change her into your clone,”

“Wha--my clone? Please, Raf she could NEVER reach my level. Believe me, I’ve tried for four years. She’s a good sidekick,”

“This isn’t over,”

“Isn’t it? You have ZERO idea where we are,”

“Please, there’s maybe 5 places in Manhattan you’ll go, and they’re all on the Upper East Side. It’s not hard,”

“Well then, I guess we’ll see who’s better at hide and seek!”

CLICK.

------

Ariel rolled her eyes with a smile just as you walked in the living room.

“Who was that?” You asked, toweling your hair from the shower you had just exited.

“Mom,” She rolled her eyes. “She wanted to make sure we weren’t tearing this place up,”

“Oh?” You asked, suddenly hopeful. “Was she going to ask Rafael to check?”

“What? NO,” Ariel shut down that thought quickly. “I assured her she didn’t need to send that dog over here to sniff around you anymore,”

“Ariel,” You rolled your eyes with a sigh. “I’m a big girl,”

“I know sweetie,” She walked over and scrunched your face. “Such a big girl,”

“Whatever,” You rolled your eyes again walking back to the bedroom.

“Hey…” Ariel grabbed the TV remote. “Do you wanna watch Clueless?”

“What? ….Why?”

“I don’t know, you mentioned it yesterday and now I can’t stop thinking about a young Paul Rudd,”

“....Who looks exactly like present Paul Rudd,” You laughed.

“I know right? I want the magic face cream he must use,” She giggled as you both sat down on the couch to watch the movie.

----

“See, Cher isn’t a bad person, right? She saved Tai,” Ariel gestured to the TV.

“Am I Tai in this situation?” You eyed her.

“Well, yeah,” She shrugged. “Duh,”

“I’ll take it, I love Brittany Murphy,” You shrugged.

“RIP,” Ariel made a sign of the cross with a kiss looking up to heaven. “We should pour one out for her,”

“On your mom’s thousand dollar rug?”

“Okay, so maybe just pour one for us,”

Her phone vibrated wildly; it vibrated so hard it fell off the coffee table onto the floor. You picked it up to put it back, but you happened to glance at the screen.

BHOLE BARBA: You can’t keep her from me forever, Ariel

Wha….keep who from him? You? Did...was he...did Ariel….?

“Alright, who’s ready for mimosas?!” Ariel said in a singsongy voice as she returned with two flutes of champagne.

“What is this?” You held the phone up to her. She read it, her eyes grew wide.

“I...He’s talking about the Adele CD I borrowed from him forever ago, he’s weirdly possessive about ‘her’,”

“Ariel,” You interrupted her with a stern face.

“What?” She played dumb.

“...How could you do this to me?” You asked with a hurt expression.

“Do what?” She rolled her eyes with a laugh. “Protect you from my loser ex brother?”

“You--! Oh my god,” You couldn’t believe it. Your own best friend was trying to mess with your happiness?

“Oh come on Y/N, it’s not that big of a--” She rolled her eyes with a laugh, pissing you off even more.

“It IS a big deal!” Tears stung your eyes, you hated that you started crying when you got angry. How pathetic was that?

“Why? You can’t possibly be in love with him or something,” She scoffed.

“NO! Of course not,” You crossed your arms. “But he could help me with school, with my career! Don’t you want me to get a good job, eventually move out of here?”

“Maybe I don’t!” She yelled suddenly.

“...What?” You asked in disbelief.

“Look, Y/N,” She sighed. “I...you...we both know under normal circumstances, we would never be friends,”

“...I mean, I guess…” You shrugged.

“Oh come on,” She gave you a look. “You’d have to explain every sentence you spoke to me,” She had crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks.

“Oh come on Ariel,” You sighed and sat next to her. “You’re NOT stupid,”

“I’m stupider than you!” She cried.

“...More stupid,” You corrected her.

“See?” She sniffled.

“Okay, but-- still,” You took her hand. "You're my best friend. Do you think that if I don't have to live with you anymore, I won't be your friend?"

"Maybe…" She looked at the floor.

"Ariel!" You cried. "Really? Come on,"

"You come on!" She was actually getting upset now. "Look, Y/N. I don't have...friends,"

"What?" You snorted. "You have the biggest social circle I know!"

"Yeah but--" she tried to find the right words. "They're not like….friends, friends ya know? They're more like…. followers, or leeches, of--"

"Sycophants," you chuckled. She did surround herself with as many people who would tell her she was amazing as possible.

"I don't know what that means but probably, yes," She nodded. “You’re the only one who I can actually talk to, you’re like my little sister,”

“....Right, so…? You think I’ll just give all that up if I move out? If I don’t need you financially anymore?”

“Maybe…” She mumbled. “But ALSO, if that stupid asshole gets into your head about me!”

“Oh God…” You put a hand over your head. “Ariel,” You took both of her hands and looked at her very seriously.

“You are my absolute best friend in this entire world, no…’boy’ could change that! I’ve known you so long, I know you completely. Nothing he could tell me would make me turn on you, I swear it,”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow at you.

“Really! You held a hand up like an oath. “AND, even if-- WHEN, I get financially stable and can live on my own two feet, I will ALWAYS be your friend,” You used the oath hand and placed it in hers again. “I swear it,”

“....Okay, but absolutely ZERO sleepovers here,”

“Oh, my god, ARIEL,” You gasped. “I JUST want to talk to him about law stuff!”

“Yeah, that’s what he said too,” She rolled her eyes, not believing either of you.

“He did?” You felt your face fall.

“Ah HA! See? Disappointment!”

“Shut up,” You hit her. “I don’t care, we should just be professional anyway,”

“Uh huh,” She nodded sarcastically.

“Are you going to give me his number or not?” You gave her a look.

“No,”

“ARIEL,” You crossed your arms.

“No, then you’re going to immediately call him and give him ALL the power,” She wagged a finger at you. “I’m going to give him YOUR number, and if he calls you, he calls you,”

“Ariel…” You gave her another look.

“What? You don’t believe me?” She feigned offense.

“I really don’t,” You shook your head.

“Alright FINE,” She pulled out her phone and opened her texts with Rafael, typed in your number and hit SEND.

“Happy?” She showed you her phone.

“....Maybe,” You hid the giddiness that was building in your stomach.

Almost IMMEDIATELY after sending the text, your phone lit up wildly.

“Good god I’m gonna get out of here before the nerdy phone sex starts,” She ran out of the room with her mimosa in tow.

“Shut up!” You hissed, mentally preparing yourself for this phone call. The phone call you’d been waiting for for days, even when you thought he was a “player”. You took a deep breath and hit ANSWER:

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

“Yeah who’s this?” You asked coyly.

“It’s...Rafael, Barba…”

“I’m sorry, who?” You teased.

“Ariel’s….brother?” He skipped the asterisk that went along with “Brother”.

“Ohhhh right right right,” You nodded, keeping him nervous. “Yeah, Ariel told me all about you,”

“I knew it,” He growled thinking about Ariel and her lies. “Whatever she said, she’s lying,”

“Oh so you don’t want to be my mentor?”

“Wha--?” He was shocked. Did Ariel actually change her mind? Or dare he think...a change of heart?

“Yes! I mean, I do! I absolutely do!” He may have said that a little too overzealous, so he dialed it back. “I mean, if I have some time I’d be up for it, if that’s okay with you,”

“I might, maybe…” You were twirling your hair in your fingers. “When do you think you might have time?”

“Well you know I was thinking--” He started, but there was a knock at the door.

“Oh sorry, one second,” You got up and walked over to the door and swung it open to reveal Rafael standing there, right in front of you. He was dressed in a black suit with a pink tie. As amazing as he looked in street clothes, you thought you might mount him right there in that suit.

“I have some time right now,” He smiled, acting as if he was still on the phone. You couldn’t help yourself, you leapt into his arms and kissed him, HARD.

-------

“Hello? Y/N?”

You snapped back to reality, Rafael was talking to you on the phone.

“Oh! Um, Yeah, sorry what?”

“I said I have some time right now, if you wanna meet for coffee or something,” He half laughed, still enchanted by your awkwardness.

“Yes! Sure! I...let me just get dressed, just text me the address, I’ll meet you in a few,” You were so glad he couldn’t see how beet red you were from that little fantasy you had just been in.

“Sounds good,” You could hear him smile; even through the phone it made you weak in the knees.

You hung up and ran to Ariel’s room, hoping she’d help you get dressed.

What could you wear to impress him?

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #clueless #rafael barba imagine

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gainaxvel3o · 3 years

Text

A Miraculous Tale of Rubybug and Cat Blake Chapter 4

Previous / First / Next

The Scorpion and the Frog

"Today, students, we are going to be picking partners."

Everyone groaned. Glynda had expected this reaction from years of experience. She also expected them to get with the program once she laid out the rules.

"It is true that fashion is a competitive industry," She continued. "However no one gets to the top by themselves. Designers and models need to be able to work together in order to get anywhere. I will be picking out the teams for the rest of the semester."

Ruby Rose shook nervously in her seat. She knew that something like this would have to happen. Bringing her hands to together she prayed to get a good partner.

"Let's see here… May Zhedong and Nolan Porfirio…"

Darn, she was looking forward to teaming up with May. She looked so cute with the jacket and beanie! Okay let's see who else was up.

"Coco Adel and Velvet Scarletina, you two worked together very well I'll admit."

Another missed opportunity. Maybe she could ask them tips on fashion? They've done work in the industry maybe she can-

"Ruby Rose and Weiss Schnee."

Oh no. Oh noooo.

Ruby slowly turned her head to the girl next to herself. Weiss stared at her, her eye twitching in annoyance.

"…"

"… heh heh, hi?"

Weiss looked away, passing her judgement towards the smaller girl. It was going to be an exhausting assignment it seemed.

_______________________________________________________________________

They've been at this for hours.

Roman's bruised face swelled in pain from the baton that had been used to torment him. The cop, a dark-skinned woman with platinum blonde and brown hair shaved on the sides, had been interrogating him for information. Her name was Harriet if he heard right.

"What do you know about the bug?" She yelled at him. "Where did you get that power?"

Roman chuckled darkly, in spite of the agony he was in now. "What's there to know? She beat my ass. I don't remember what I did. That's what I told you."

"Fuckin hell no one gets powers and then forgets!"

"I did. Now quit whining to me."

"Enough Harriet." A pale man came over. He grabbed Harriet's arm. "We're not going to learn anything about the situation by beating him up. Let's move on to more pressing matters."

Harriet scoffed. "Fine. You got lucky pal."

"Yeah I feel soooo lucky right now…" Roman wiped the blood from his face. "Take me back to my cell so I don't have to deal with you animals."

Harriet roughly picked him up. Vine and herself opened the door and escorted the prisoner back to his cell. They passed by several guards who saluted them.

"The Chief isn't going to like this," Harriet said. "With Mayor Ironwood's campaign in question the city's going crazy. If I could get my hands on that ladybug…"

"Now is not the time for that." Vine said. "When they show up, they'll show up. For now we gather information."

"Yeah…"

As they were enveloped in their conversation, they didn't notice one guard fidgeting nervously. Travis Cornetto pulled out a loaf of bread from his pocket, passing inside of the cell.

"I couldn't get more," Cornetto said. "Sorry."

A pale hand took the bread. He examined it a bit, before immediately devouring it. Tyrian Callows hasn't had food in a while."

"You're such a gracious host…" Tyrian ate the food gladly. "Maybe there's a chance you can be made beautiful yet."

_______________________________________________________________________

"Relax Ruby, this isn't so bad."

"Not so bad! This is terrible!"

Ruby paced back and forth in the bathroom ass Tikki tried to calm her down.

"I'm teaming up with WEISS SCHNEE, the crabbiest girl I ever met even though she's a model and she could be really helpful to me but I made her mad on the first day so my career as a fashion designer might even be over before it began-"

"Ruby."

"-and she's my roommate so what if I show up as Ladybug and she finds out it's me? What if she uses me for some evil nefarious purpose like shining her shoes or taking her places even though one of those bad guys attack-"

"Ruby."

"Oh my goodness this is the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen to me!"

"RUBY!"

She let out a tiny gasp as Tikki got right up to her line of sight.

"Listen Ruby," Tikki said. "You're gonna ace the assignment and be fine. Nothing is going to happen. Now we need to talk about Nooro."

Ruby nodded quickly. "Yeah, yeah you're right. I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"

"We need to figure out where he's being located. I can sense darkness sometimes, but not himself. Do you think we have time to patrol today?"

"Sure!" Ruby said. "I can make time. I mean, Weiss might try to go to the teacher to get a different partner so during lunch break I can sneak away. A magnificent plan if I say so myself hohoho!"

Ruby pointed her finger at no particular place as she puffed her chest out. She posed as if she was a sea captain out on a maiden voyage. The image made Tikki sigh a bit in fond exasperation.

"Oh Ruby," Tikki's ears started vibrating. "I hear someone coming! Return!"

Tikki disappeared into Ruby's earrings. Just as she did, the door opened. Blake Belladonna came through the door, looking up in surprise to see someone was already inside.

"Oh it's you Ruby."

At the sound of Blake's voice, Ruby jumped.

"HOLY CRUD IT'S BLAKE!" She nearly screamed. "Sorry. I was uh… thinking? Out loud? With my lips? Human beings have lips I think."

Blake chuckled. "They certainly do. What seems to be the problem?"

"Well today is supposed to be the day we partnered up for the semester." Ruby explained. "I got teamed up with Weiss Schnee!"

"Ooof, I wish you the best of luck with that." Blake then blinked. "Wait she was in your class?"

"Yeah. She missed the first class due to a scheduling slip up." Ruby sighed. "Now what am I gonna dooooo?"

"It might not be so bad. A partner who's also your roommate can be very useful, especially someone like Weiss. She probably has a few fashion tips?"

"But she's so crabby! I want a non-crabby partner…" Ruby then realized. "Why don't you be my partner?"

"Me? We don't attend the same class and… I'm not pretty enough."

"You're very pretty! But you're right, not the same class. Daaaarn."

"Maybe you should to get along?" Blake tried to ignore the blush that was on her face. "You might be able to get something interesting done. If worst comes to worst just ask the teacher to pair you up with someone else."

"Uggghhhh why are you so right Blake?"

"I'm just experienced I think," Blake brushed a few hair strands away. "Sorry Ruby I need to um…"

"Oh oh! I can go!" Ruby laughed. "I need to go find Weiss anyway! Thank you!"

Ruby ran back out of the bathroom. Blake watched her go, letting a smile form on her lips. As she did so Plagg emerged from the ring. His smile was a little bit more mischievous than Blake's.

"Someone called you were pretty~ When's the wedding?"

"Shut up Plagg."

_______________________________________________________________________

Tyrian Callows was not a murderer. He was a serial killer.

Why distinguish the difference? Because a typical murderer is too broad, too plain to describe a being such as himself. To put it simply, Tyrian was beautiful. His hands twitched with powerful uncontrollable desire. He waited to snap the neck out of anyone who would get close to him. He wanted to take knives and stab them into someone's face. He wanted tear open insides and spread them around himself. These are the things that made him feel beautiful.

Tyrian was not insane. Insane would imply Tyrian didn't know what he was doing was wrong. He knew that he was a being of evil and did not care, because in those moments where he butchered and murdered he felt beautiful.

Cornetto was… fine. Another meat puppet alongside other meat puppets. He at least brought the food. They've been starving him for days, so someone keeping him alive is something commendable. He'll still die of course, but Tyrian will make sure he goes out beautifully.

From the corner of his eye, he saw a pretty little purple butterfly floating towards him. Tyrian remembered one time as a kid where he managed to capture a butterfly and slowly sliced off it's wings. He wanted to see what a butterfly looked like without it's wings. Tyrian took the butterfly in his hand.

"Gotcha," Tyrian smiled. "I needed a distraction from this shitty cage."

"Would a distraction really be enough to satisfy your needs, Mr. Callows?"

He got up startled. "Who the fuck are you?! How'd you get in my head?!"

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm your Monarch, here to fulfill your wish."

"My wish?" He laughed, utterly bewildered. "My only wish is to be beautiful! Someone like you wouldn't understand what I've been searching for."

"Oh but I do. I've seen the way you work. That death, that chaos, those things make you a most magnificent specimen. I wish to see more of it."

"You… you do?" Tyrian said in a small voice. "You understand?"

"Indeed. Such beauty is what I seek as well. However, may propose something to you? Something you may not have considered?"

"Hmmm… go on. You peaked my interest."

"I'm glad I have. You do what you do to find beauty for yourself. But what if you could make the world around you beautiful as well? What if I can give you the power to cave out your desires?

Tyrian's eyes widened at that. Beauty for the world? He had thought such a dream was impossible to fulfill. A foolish desire! But here the voice in his head had offered him a chance to fulfill it?

"You're certainly being tempting," Tyrian bowed. "What's the catch? What do you need me to do?"

"Oh not much. I only require a set of earrings and a ring from a pair of teenagers unworthy of your talents. Other than that… you can bring as much death and destruction as you want. Why keep the world from seeing beauty for what it is?"

"Yes… yes yes YES!"

Tyrian got onto his knees and bowed. He held his head low in gratitude and awe.

"I'll serve as your Huntsman, my Queen, and bring you what you desire! It is my thanks for allowing me to find what I seek!"

"A Huntsman… I like the sound of that… Go my partner. Bring me the miraculous!"

Outside the cell, Cornetto had been hearing Tyrian whisper to himself over the past few minutes. He was disgusted as much as everyone but the crimes Tyrian committed, but he was not a man who wanted to see people suffer. That was why he brought food for the criminal.

"Tyrian please keep quiet the others are trying to-"

The cell door was destroyed right away. A slash from a tail incapacitated Cornetto, dropping his carved body to the ground.

"What the hell!?" A guard yelled. "This shit is happenin' again!"

They tried attacking with batons, but the villain was quick. He used his new pincers to stab their throats with bursted with blood. He raised his head towards the ceiling.

"I have a calling to fulfill, an order to complete!" The newly powered villain screamed across the prison. "I'm Scorpio, one of the Monarch's fine Huntsmen, here to bring beauty to this world!"

Cornetto for his part clutched his chest. He looked at Tyrian weakly, trying to form a single sentence.

"But… why…?"

Tyrian heard the question and grinned maliciously.

"Because I'm beautiful."

_______________________________________________________________________

Okay this was going to be hard.

Ruby had been heading to the table with Yang and her friends (she assumed they were friends, they wouldn't all sit together on the same table if they weren't right?) until she spotted Weiss sitting by herself.

She had the same demeanor that she had in class and the past few days. Indifference. Annoyance. The threat to murder anyone who dared to talk to her. Ruby was reluctant but she figured there was no better time to take Blake's advice. It was here or in their room, where Weiss could shut her off by slamming the door to her part of the dorm.

"Here goes nothing…"

She steeled herself. Ruby walked over to Weiss with the best smile she could muster. She sat her hand on the table, ready to say something hopefully awe inspiring, something that will get Weiss Schnee to finally-

"No."

Ruby blinked. "But I didn't even say anything."

"I knew what you were going ask." Weiss said. "No, I don't want to work with you, I won't work with you, I will not be working with you. An obvious upstart like yourself has no place in a University like this one."

Ruby blinked again. "Oh. Well thanks for making it easy then!"

She started moving away, which made Weiss' eye twitch in annoyance.

"That's it? You just give up immediately?"

"Yeah," Ruby shrugged. "I mean, you don't like me, I think you're a jerk, I'm not gonna sit through a million rounds of you putting me down while we work. Go ahead and get another partner. I don't mind at all."

"Hmph," Weiss crossed her arms. "If you fold like that so easily you won't make it far in the fashion industry."

"And if you act like a jerk then the only people in your fan club will be your butler. That you probably paid for." Ruby stuck her tongue out. "Have a nice day!"

She skipped a few steps away from Weiss, who had been left sputtering at this act of defiance. Internally Ruby was screaming at herself.

‘HolycrapIjustinsultedWeissSchneemycareerisoverbutthatfeltsogoodbutsobadbutsogoodbutsobad-’

"Hey Rubes!" Ah, Yang was waving at her sister. "What's the deal with you and Ice Queen?"

"Oh not much I was partnered up with her and then I may have just insulted her."

"Ooooohhh," Nora bopped Ruby's nose. "Tell us how it went! Were her schnees broken in despair?"

"I think Ruby would end up suspended if she did that," Ren said. "Ruby, you should be covert in your revenge. I have plans I can share."

"Can we not talk about revenge at the table?" Jaune said. "I'm trying to eat my bagels."

Pyrrha offered up a bagel of her own. "Why not have this?"

Jaune took it, looking rather funny as he devoured the bagel. "You're a life saver Pyrrha, an angel among this Earth."

Pyrrha smiled, an action that made everyone on the table skip a beat due to how pure and sweet and wonderful it was. Ruby herself would be entranced by it if it weren't for her earrings suddenly vibrating.

'An alert? Oh not now, I haven't eaten lunch yet Tikki couldn't you wait a minute-?'

The TV interrupted the thought process. Lisa Lavender appeared on the screen to give the news.

"We interrupt this program to bring you a breaking news report! Another super powered being is on the loose in the city, maiming and doing worse to civilians down on the street!

The camera switched to footage on the scene. A shaky, barely medium quality of a scorpion creature attacking people appeared. The camera was shaky

"He is calling out for Ladybug and Chat Noir to find him, the connection between them uncertain. Could they be in league?"

"Now that's bulloney!" Nora slammer fists on the table. "Ladybug wouldn't be in league with any bad guys! Didn't she save everyone from dumb bowler hat guy and his donkey army?!"

'I most certainly did Nora, and I have to go over there quick!' Ruby thought. 'I gotta get outta here!'

"Uh I need to…" She said out loud. "Find materials for my project!"

"Already? You just got here though?" Yang raised an eyebrow. "Don't you have class later?"

Ruby was already making her way to the exit. "I do, but if I hurry up I can make it! Bye!"

The group watched their youngest leave, Yang already feeling sad she left. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"She'll be fine." Pyrrha said. "I'm sure she knows what she's doing."

"Yeah Yang," Jaune laughed. "I mean, It's not like she's gonna go fight the guy on the tv or something."

_______________________________________________________________________

The quest for beauty was going surprisingly well.

These ugly, dirty people stared at him and ran, terrified in the face of himself. Scorpio was now true beauty. Not that anyone would understand of course. No one except, of course, his Queen. The Monarch offered him a chance to bring true beauty to all. He just needed to get the Miraculous.

"Hey! You brats!" Scorpio yelled. "Show yourselves Ladybug and Chat Noir! I want the Miraculous you got!"

A shadow dropped from a rooftop. Chat Noir narrowed her eyes at the creature before her. His skin was scaly, looking less human and more armor-like. He had a trench coat with a white sleeveless jacket underneath it. Leather belts were strapped to it, along with white pants. A bright red amulet around his neck stuck out like a sore thumb if offset by golden eyes that shimmered with sadistic glee. His tail slithered from side to side.

"Who are you?" Chat Noir asked. "What do you want with Ladybug and I?"

One of them was here. Good. Scorpio grinned.

"The Monarch wants your Miraculous, kitty cat." He said. "As her Huntsman, I came here to take it for her!"

"No thanks," Chat readied her staff. "You'll have to work for it."

The battle thus began swiftly. Tyrian lunged at the cat themes heroine, but she slammed her staff into his head, slamming him head first into concrete. Chat narrowly dodged the tail strike to the face. She kept her distance as pincers bursted fresh from Scorpio's hands.

"I know plenty about work," Scorpio grinned. "I'll get the miraculous and then carve you up into something truly beautiful!"

As the pincers came close to her face, Chat used the staff to block them. Scorpio was pushing her to the defensive, forcing Chat Noir to step back bit by bit.

'Think Blake, think!' Blake thought to herself frantically. 'I need to keep him busy until Ladybug gets here.'

Where was Ladybug? Blake really wished she had asked for her phone number or something. Only Ladybug had the power to de-grimmify this… Huntsman he called himself? The whole business is getting more insane the further Blake delved into it.

"What's the matter kitty cat?" Scorpio called out again. "Need a pound of tuna?"

"Sounds delicious but no." Chat said. "I'm in the mood for some tail though."

She swiped the staff towards his left leg, knocking Scorpio off balance. At another swing from his tail Chat jumped above the man, avoiding it slamming the staff against his stomach. Chat kept the staff ready as Scorpio clutched his stomach.

"Ugh, not bad not bad." He said. "I've never won a fair fight to be honest. Maybe that's why-"

He jumped away from Chat, flipping around to catch a civilian in his arm.

"-I like pull a fast one!"

"H-help!" The woman's neck was held tight, cutting off her words. "Hck-!"

Chat Noir found herself in a tough bind. Scorpio was not someone to be trusted. If he had his way, he would kill that woman and herself as soon as the miraculous was in his hands. But could she risk this woman's life for a gamble?

"Come on! Give me the ring, or whatever you use to make that trashy suit!"

Blake gritted her teeth. She moved her fingers towards the ring-

"Hold on Chat Noir!"

Ladybugs are often said to be creatures of luck. It seems it held true to the costumed heroine, who caught the villain's hand with her yoyo, pulling him away from the civilian. Ladybug landed next to Chat Noir, standing up to retrieve the yoyo.

"Hope I'm not too late Chat."

"Could have been a little faster honestly." Chat said. "Otherwise thanks for coming."

Due to the distraction the civilian ran away from the scene. As soon as Scorpio recovered and saw the two heroes, he knew he was in trouble. One against one was one thing, but two against one is a bit much for his brain to compute.

Yet he knew couldn't disappoint his Queen. She had given his life purpose! There had to be something, ANYTHING he could do.

"Seems you got me cornered." Scorpio said. "I'll take a page from the cat's example, I'll make you work to get to me!"

He made a jump, surprising the heroes by how high he could get. He made it to a rooftop and ran.

"We need to go after him!" Ladybug prepared her yoyo. "He might be up to something, so don't split from me okay?"

Chat Noir snorted, as if offended by that remark.

"Like I was going to leave you out my sight, my lady."

_______________________________________________________________________

Weiss Schnee stomped the hallways with purpose.

That annoying upstart… not only were they roommates, not only were they attending the same class, but she had to nerve to insult her like that? It was madness. She had to get another partner immediately. One who knew better.

She made a turn to the left of the hallyway, in the direction of Ms. Goodwitch's classroom. That teacher better have an explanation for her pick-

"Huh? Miss Schnee!"

Weiss had almost bumped into the Headmaster. Salem Ozpin recovered, and sighed upon noticing who bumped into her.

"My apologies. How is your day going?" Salem asked warmly. "Is Beacon to your liking?"

"It's… fine." Weiss said. "I'm trying to exchange partners."

"Oh I won't be keeping you. Who is your partner?"

"Ruby Rose," Her name came out so bitterly on Weiss lips it's like she's choking on poisoned air. "That upstart is an insult to this school. She comes here thinking she knows better than me, a model in the industry? I wouldn't be surprised if she got here through connections!"

"Oh I see…" Salem said. "Miss Schnee, do you know who recruited Ruby into this school?"

"A dope I presume."

"Well admittedly I can be that sometimes, but I think my decisions have turned out for the best."

Weiss blinked.

"That girl is quite remarkable. She was the class president for three years, arranged banquets and parties while designing truly impressive fashion work. Ruby had posted some of the work on her blog, which was how I found her out."

Weiss blinked again.

"If you give her a chance, Weiss, I think she can be really useful for your career as well as her own." Salem's smiled never left her lips. Not once. "Was there anything you needed?"

"… no ma'am." Weiss said quietly. "I think I just remembered something."

"Oh I know what that's like. Just one more thing before you go though…" Salem crossed her arms. "You are not the only one who works hard Miss Schnee. This is a privileged academy and few enter here without a skill of some sort. You cannot operate alone as you are now. My husband believed in strength in numbers when he was around. I think the same way. Do you understand?"

At that, Weiss nodded. "I will take your words into consideration, Miss Ozpin."

She walked off. It was less of a stomp and more of a gentle click clack of the heels that made noise on the hallways. Salem's smile became slightly more mischievous as she saw her student go.

"I bet you're proud, Ozma. She and Miss Rose certainly have potential."

_______________________________________________________________________

Scorpio was fast. But Ladybug and Chat Noir were pretty fast too.

"He's entering the warehouse!" Ladybug threw the yoyo at a nearby pole. "He might try to isolate us while we're inside."

"Right. Let's stick together."

With that exchange, Chat wrapped her arms around Ladybug's waist (which didn't make the red and black hero blush in any way, no siree). Once secured, Ladybug swung them both across the street, smashing through the windows. They landed squarely on the floor.

"Should we have broken through the window like that?" Chat asked. "We're probably going to get fined for that you know."

"Eh, I can fix it with a Miraculous Cure anyway." Ladybug said without worry. "Not like either of us have superhero insurance. Or would it be miraculous insurance?"

"Beats me." Chat just shrugged. "What do you think we should do?"

The two inspected the area. Several boxes were stacked together, a forklift still having boxes on the lift implying that work had been done here recently. No sign of Scorpio… yet.

"Stick together. Did he give any hint about where his possessed item could be?"

"Hmmm…" Chat tapped on her staff thinking about it. "No hint I'm afraid but I think his amulet could be it. We should focus on disabling his tail."

A pair of eyes peered from behind a box, gazing down at the unsuspecting duo.

"Good idea. If we can take that down, we'll be able to search for his object more efficiently. First we gotta find him."

The duo jumped when they heard a sinister laugh echo across the room. They kept their guard up.

"How cute. Just taking out my tail and you think you're enough to beat me? Not in a million years will you be able to take out a prized Huntsman of the Monarch!"

"Monarch huh?" Ladybug seized the moment. "Is that who you're working for?"

"Yes… She is a Queen among queens, a goddess to be revered! She understands the true beauty in death and chaos, she completes me! With the miraculous her ultimate plan will be fulfilled! HehehehehehehehehBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

That laugh made both heroes shiver in fear. Ruby had heard it on the news, but it was here in this moment she remembered she wasn't dealing with a regular villain but a serial killer who would do whatever it takes to kill her.

'I need to trick him somehow.' She thought. 'How did Yang always trick guys into giving away whether they wanna get into her pants or not? Oh wait, it's reverse psychology!'

"If she picked you the Monarch's clearly off her rocker." Ladybug said out loud. "I mean, Scorpion guy? How uncreative can you get?"

"Tch, I see what you're doing but it's not going to-"

"No she has a point." Chat continued. "For someone all about brining beauty to the world you are simply ugly and disgusting. You never belonged in a world like this one."

Scorpio's eye twitched. "I am beautiful."

"No. Jewels are beautiful. Cats are beautiful. Butterflies are beautiful. You though? You're an ugly scorpion guy who can only make ugly things."

"Do not listen to them Tyrian," Monarch whispered into his ear. "They are trying to trick you!"

"OH YEAH?!" Scorpio- no, Tyrian, yelled. "JUST YOU WAIT, I'LL CARVE YOUR BODIES INTO THE MOST MAGNIFICENT SCULPTURES THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN!"

His purpose forgotten, the villain lunged at the opposing duo. His tail struck nothing except the ground where they originally stood.

"Ladybug, we have a chance now!"

Tyrian felt a yoyo wrap around his tail. He realized quickly what they were trying to do.

"No," He panicked. "Not the tail not the tail not the- AAAAAAHHHHH!"

Tyrian missed it as soon Ladybug decapitated the stinger. She. Cut. Off. His. Stinger. The beauty he possessed had been ravaged into disgusting ugliness.

"We got him Chat!" She yelled. "Search him!"

No. Scorpio could not allow this to stand. Tyrian will not allow this to STAND.

"YOU'RE DEAD MEAT NOW KIDS!"

The amulet glowed red. With speed the heroes had no time to react to, Scorpio slashed at their abdomens, then elbowed them to the floor. He turned around, grinning at seeing Ladybug in pain. The girl took her away his stinger, now he'll take her life.

Or would if his pincer hadn't been blocked by the staff.

"You seem to be forgetting it's two against one." Chat said, panting hard. "Come and get me."

Ladybug swiped at his leg. He pulled it back to avoid the attack, but Ladybug kicked his stomach in the mean time.

"Come and get us." Ladybug said. "Grab the amulet, Chat!"

Scorpio swung his tail around, trying to hit them with anything even without the stinger. However, Ladybug and Chat were quicker. Ladybug threw the yoyo at the villain's chin as Chat readied her hand.

"Go for it Chat!"

"No… no please!" Tyrian pleaded. "I want to be beautiful!"

"CATACLYSM!"

As soon as the words were spoken, the amulet was destroyed. A glowing violet butterfly flew out from the broken object.

"Right then!" Ladybug captured the butterfly in the yoyo. "Miraculous…"

"NO PLEASE STOP!"

"… LADYBUG!"

A red glow came and went, an army of ladybugs swarming the area. The damage from Scorpio's pincers were undone, as were the windows repaired from the heroes' breaking into the place. Tyrian no longer had the scaly body he possessed before. Instead, he wore his prison uniform, his dark hair and desperate face visible for all to see.

"No… no I disappointed my Queen…" Tyrian dug his nail into his head. "I failed, I failed, I didn't bring beauty like I was supposed to!"

Ladybug and Chat Noir could only stare at each other awkwardly as the now de-powered serial killer sobbed pathetically onto the floor. In spite of everything he had done and tried to do Ruby couldn't help but feel just a little sorry for him. Only a little. Pity was not the same thing sympathy.

The doors opened. A pair of cops stormed in with guns pointed at the heroes

"FREEZE RIGHT THERE!" Harriet yelled at them. "You're under arrest for vigilantism!"

"You have the right to remain silent." A female officer with short brown haired and dark skin said. "Resist and we won't hesitate."

Ladybug and Chat held their arms in the air. Ruby was confused by this turn of events.

"Um, we just stopped the bad guy?" She said. "We even fixed the damage, so what the problem?"

"My lady, I don't think they'll take anything but our surrender into account." Chat said. "We need to make a break for it as soon as possible."

"Try anything and we'll fire!"

Tyrian didn't hear the police's words. How could he? The butterfly's beautiful voice had disappeared. The quest for beauty was in vain. Now… he stared at Ladybug, who had his back turned to him.

He will have revenge.

"I really think you're being a bit unreasonable officer," Ladybug continued. "Perhaps if you lower your weapons we might be able to have a conversation-"

Suddenly a pair of arms surrounded her neck and stomach. Tyrian snarled.

"I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU FOR RUINING EVERYTHING! I WON'T EVEN TURN YOU INTO A WORK OF ART, I'LL JUST USE YOUR SKIN TO WIPE MY ASS WITH IT!"

Chat looked on in horror as Ladybug struggled against his grip. If it weren't for the police holding guns at them she would do something. There was one trick, but Chat wasn't sure she was fast enough to try it. She reached into her pockets.

"L-let go of me!"

"YOU TOOK AWAY MY POWER! I WAS SCORPIO! I AM SCOR-"

His words were cut off. Whatever they would be, Ladybug only heard a loud sound and felt the arms around her slip away. She turned to watch Tyrian fall to the ground. A bullet wound on the forehead bled across the face. There was no peace in his eyes. Only shock.

"If you move then you're gonna end up like him," Harriet pointed the gun at them again. "Get down!"

"NINJA VANISH!"

Smoke bursted from the shell Chat threw onto the ground. It was thick and instantaneous. One… two… three… Harriet fired the gun into the smoke but she didn't hear anyone get hit.

"Damn it!" She looked around. "Find them!"

As they searched the warehouse from top to bottom, Chat helped Ladybug up to the rooftop. Ladybug let out a sigh of a relief.

"That was a pretty cool trick you did Chat. You really pulled us out of a jam."

"I didn't know if it was going to work. Glad it did." Chat put a hand on her partner's shoulder. "You alright?"

"Y-" Ladybug caught herself. Her eyes grew wide. "No. No I'm not okay. They shot a man in the head! I know he was a killer but- but what the hell?!"

She felt arms wrap around her. Ladybug hugged back.

"It was a difficult situation, my lady." Chat said. "It was shocking, wrong even. If had to be his death or yours I'm not shameful over it but it goes to show we need to be more careful from now on."

"I… I should have been better. I could have sensed him or-"

"No. That man jumped you. It was unexpected. You are not at fault for what he did, just as you are not at fault for what the officer."

"But-"

"But nothing. We got away and prevented another disaster. There is nothing more to it than that."

Ladybug held onto Chat tighter. Five minutes were spent like that, trying to make sense out of the freak accident they fell into. Blake had been afraid about what would happen during an encounter with the police. She thanked her stars that neither herself nor Ladybug got out of there without much of a scuffle.

A moment later, Ladybug let go of Chat. "Thank you Chat. Glad to have you as a partner I can count on."

"Heh, same for you my lady." Chat smiled. "See you around?"

"Sure!" Ladybug returned the smile. "Thanks again Chat!"

_______________________________________________________________________

As it turned out, Ruby had been pretty lucky to avoid her next class. Judging from what she had heard, Professor Port's lectures had only gotten more rambly and pointless.

She returned to her room and shut the door quickly. The image of the man's head exploded from a bullet was still burned into her memory. Ruby breathed in and out repeatedly. She needed time away from people.

"Ruby Rose."

That was a person. That was definitely a person Ruby just heard. Weiss Schnee was sitting on a chair in Ruby's workspace. She had been inspecting a paper detailing a new design idea.

"Weiss, please not right now." Ruby waved her away. "I'm tired and anxious and the last thing I need is you coming in and putting me down again-"

"If you would let me talk you might hear something different." Weiss said. "I am willing to be your partner."

Ruby blinked. "What?"

"I'll help you Ruby Rose." She got up. "I realized that I was being unfair in my assessment of you. Clearly you have some skill in order to get into this University. This design?" She handed the paper to Ruby. "It's not a bad one. With sharpening it could be brilliant."

"… thanks?" Ruby was definitely surprised to hear that. "So what? You want us to remain partners?"

"Yes. I will be critical, but if we can put aside our differences we just might be able to get through the semester. I will try to give useful advice, and you have control over how the final project will turn out."

Weiss stretched our her hand. "Deal?"

Ruby looked at the hand. Then back to Weiss. Then back again. She took the hand and shook it.

"Huh. I guess you're not all bad Weiss."

"Shut up dolt."

12 notes · View notes

spiftynifty · 5 years

Text

TeeVee Podcast’s Voltron s8 review

I’ve been waiting eagerly for TeeVee’s review of s8. If you recall, their s7 review was what gave us the man getting choked up about Shiro’s relationship.

The link to the podcast is here but if you’d prefer a sort of transcript, here are some of the highlights for me. I didn’t always catch who was speaking but I wrote down initials where I could. S=Shanon, A=Antony, M=Moises, C=Chip D=Dan. The panel is divided on their feelings on the season. 2 of them seem to have hated it, one liked it, one thought it was fine, and one feels mixed about it. Anyway here we go, some great quotes ahead.

Under the readmore cuz it’s long.

S: "After 7 seasons of a show that was going to be one of the animated series of the decade, they not only did not stick the landing, they fell on their butts, rolled off the mat, off the lines, into the judge's table and their leotard popped open"

"A lot of the plot was callbacks to things from seasons ago that we really probably didn't need to see again." "I wasn't entirely sure that they weren't gaslighting me."

Man Shannon is calling out some great points. She's calling out the dropped druid plot thread, and wondering what the point was of showing Lotor's past when he's dead, and nothing can change in his present and his redemption can't really happen.

A: "endings are hard. I was disappointed with this season [...] it was let down by poor plotting and that final battle made me throw my hands up in despair most of the time. But I have enormous sympathy for the EPs. Maintaining a longform episodic story is hard. And to pull off an ending that satisfies even MOST of the audience is harder yet. and let's not forget they were always upfront that vt always had 'editorial interference' from up top. Toys, the fact that it's aimed at children, corp resistance to some of the more modern social issues that they've tried to tackle. THAT SAID, we don't know what happened on this production, who had the final say, what they argued over. and I say this cuz a lot of the fandom drama over it assumes a LOT over how media and entertainment like this is made that simple ARE. NOT. TRUE. Some of the stuff I've read has been ABSURDLY offbase, like that there were different writers rather than just 1 the whole way through which ignores how TV is made. And if you think these writers just go off and write a script without talking to anyone first and then they come back with something that must be filmed without any changes, THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS. [..]we don't know who made these decisions. The studio isn't always the bad guy. Sometimes they rescue things that would otherwise have been a horrible mess. And unless you were IN THE ROOM, you don't know, and neither do any of us. So let's all bear that in mind. [...]You can't lay the blame OR credit on any one person. For any of this."

They're laughing & making so much fun of the final 3 episodes and how baffling they were.

"Don't even get me started on Voltron merging with Atlas [and the crew disappearing] that was a bad, bad idea."

"But that was the ONE time Shiro was back with the team!"

a couple dudes are relatively ok with the Allura death because we've never seen a WOC heroically sacrifice herself for the universe and usually it's the Shiro hero character D: They also point out that technically she wasn't fridged so.. yay?

Antony and Shannon vehemently disagree.

A: "My problem with that ending was more just that it was... not. good." he makes a comparison to RotJ where Vader still dies and it's his SON, who lives, who 'redeems' him. "This was none of those things. It felt like a terrible lesson. You can be so evil that you kill literally billions of people for 10k yrs but if you say sorry just before you're about to be executed it's alright, dw about it, we'll put the universe back to rights. NO, that's a terrible lesson!!"

S:"They had the LIONS. That's my problem. Throughout this series we've had stakes going up but there has always been a trading of ideas, what can we do, what can we figure out, up to the point where they wind up sacrificing the castle, but they go through steps before that 'is there anything else we can do’. And here, there's not even... she didn't even get to say goodbye to Coran! This is the one character, WOC, and she has sacrificed throughout this entire series. She lost her planet. She lost the last connection she had to her father in the AI. She kept LOSING things over and over to the point where she sacrifices her crown to help Shiro. and the thanks she gets is that she has to turn around and say nope I've got to away and fix all of this and apparently never see you all again. It really, REALLY REALLY bothered me. All of my friends who have CHILDREN who watch this show, universally the kids were upset and angry and tearful and HATED that outcome. This did not feel like a triumph. Having to lose Allura like that robbed any kind of triumph in the success of saving all the universes. And I think that's one of the reasons that this last part of the season sits so poorly with me. I feel like it should have ended in a triumphant way. even if it meant losing a couple of the team members or the lions. Of course that takes away the toy aspect which is why that's not an option. We already had several tragedy arcs in this series. Zarkon, Honerva, and Lotor had tragedy arcs. Why does Allura have to have one too? We've had enough."

Antony & Shanon KILLIN IT on this podcast y'all.

C: "This series relies so much on 'oh wait, there's a new upgrade', 'oh wait, there's this new thing'" A: "Well that was the entire final battle." C: "So there's this handwavy Allura has to sacrifice herself. The heavy lifting wasn't done to make this an earned moment."

S: "I do think, whether it was at the direction of DW or WEP (Vld IP), without those little epilogue cards, there is the potential opening that Allura might be able to return.[..]It was open to interpretation."

One guy likes the Shiro ending for the surprising progress aspect, even though he's not thrilled about how it was put together. also he isn't convinced the epilogue wasn't planned. He likes a lot of s8 but all the stuff he likes is tied to stuff that he really didn't like.

S:"The shiro card is the other reason that I think those things were shoved in. For me, that turns Shiro's entire character into a token when he wasn't before. When they introduced his sexuality, it was done BEAUTIFULLY. There was this conversation with his significant other a mature relationship that ran into its problems and therefore couldn't happen anymore. Adam could've been Adele, and nothing would have changed about that conversation. It was not the defining characteristic of Shiro. It was just something else about him."

S: "And then s8 happens and Shiro is divided from everybody on the team. There are so few interactions of any kind that aren't just barking orders. or making plans. Keith is the prime example. Their friendship had been a backbone of this series and suddenly they can't even stand more than feet 5ft from each other.

A: “It’s barely evident, yeah.”

M:”And the same with the rest of the main cast. And if they had set that up at the end of s7, that he’s going to go into the background a bit, it wouldn’t have felt as weird.

S: “And they didn’t! S7 was miraculous in the fact that even though he’s no longer in a lion, he’s still got a vital part to play in the series. And s8 erased that. It pretty much neutered him! And the kind of message is once you've revealed this character to be gay, we've gotta keep him out of the way. And if they had not put those end cards in, again the fact that he's a gay man is just the fact that he's a gay man and it's not any bigger or smaller aspect of his character, but they did not EARN him marrying random bridge crew member #3."

A: "and RETIRING! A man who LEFT adam because he felt he had to go and fight."

A: "He left the guy he loved before because of his devotion to"

S:"To fighting to making things right"

A:”To being a soldier and doing the right thing.”

C:”Isn’t the whole point then that he achieves that?”

M:”The fighting’s over and he can leave that behind and he can actually be happy.”

S: “He wouldn’t’ve. I don’t see it.”

M: “I violently disagree.”

C: “I think it was a nice endcap for his character."

Moises also likes this because it’s not a BYG scenario and he gets retired. Shannon is extremely exasperated by these takes.

S:”For me, it’s like Tangled. You go through Rapunzel and Flynn, going through their adventures, getting closer, getting to know each other, they save each other, things like that. And then she’s reunited with her parents and then we get and endcap that says ‘for political reasons her parents decided they needed to marry her off to the prince in the next county, sorry’. That would’ve had people RIOTING. Thats not how you do a story with characters that people care about. And to shove shiro off onto this random character that we--his name is never spoken!”

A:”No he had like 3 lines in the entire season.”

S:”He had 3 line sin the season, you don’t know his name unless you watched the subtitles, and in the audio narration for the visually impaired, they called him Adam in the endcap. They called him Adam! They fixed that now. It feels like a hugely clumsy attempt to grab the woke points for a character that didn’t need them.”

Moises then talks a little about Shiro and Keith and how he and Shannon both thought there was something there, and still do, but they can’t know what happened behind the scenes and to theorize on the intent of that relationship is “conspiracy theory land” and trying to decide what the writers were prevented from doing is like “reading tea leaves and chicken bones”. He references people extracting things from his own writing.

M: “As much as I wanted to see that relationship flower and flourish, the fact that it didn’t, look, it’s one of a million times that’s happened for me, with fiction, where things didnt turn out the way I wanted to see them.”

S:”I’m talking about 2 different things, as far as Shiro’s character, vs shipping issues. I feel Shiro’s character was done a disservice that if they were going to end him in a relationship with another man, they didn’t earn it by throwing that little endcap on.”

M:”Yeah, they could have brought back one less robeast or something.”

S:”The other thing is, I think there is enough out there as far as interviews with JDS and LM to show that at the very least I think they meant to leave it openended. Again if you take out that endcap, the last shot includes a shot of just Shiro and Keith, together, same screen, looking up as the lions go away, without saying anything further. I know I pie in the sky hoped that they were gonna kiss this season when we did our s7 recap and yes that was the shipper in me talking. I truly did not expect that they would be able to go that far. What I did not expect was for them to tear it down. And I feel like that’s what they did. Between the complete absence of interactions in s8, and then throwing that epilogue in there.”

Dan doesn’t understand how that could be because he sees no reason for them to do that. Shannon patiently explains about DW’s history with LGBT characters but Dan insists that the creators told the story the way they wanted to and he’s fine with Shiro getting a marriage even if it’s a character they don’t know.

Overall the panelists love the show still, and in most cases prefer to consider it in the realm of s1-6 with a weak final double season (7&8) or that the show ends after s7. They would all love to know how long the NDAs last, a making of perhaps, to know what the heck happened and what changed along the way. Big mood my dudes. Big mood.

#voltron #vld #teevee #transcript

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jbuffyangel · 5 years

Text

Weekly Rundown 10/21/18-10/26/18

Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead! Full episode reviews and reactions are linked in the titles.

Daredevil Season 3

Just so y’all know - most nuns do not wear their habits in public anymore. It’s been that way since Vatican II, but TV refuses to catch up.

The action is amaaaaazing again. I love how Matt actually gets tired when he’s fighting.

I don’t want Matt to put that ugly Daredevil suit on again he looks ridiculous. Keep the black mask and call it a day.

I want Foggy to propose very badly. I need a Foggy wedding in Season 4.

Is there any particular reason why Karen didn’t haul ass to Frank’s Punisher lair when her life was in danger and Matty Mcbrown eyes was off Daredeviling an existential crisis? That’s where I’d go.

Matt refusing to ask the other Defenders help because “it’s not their fight” is the stupidest reason ever.

Arrow (“The Longbow Hunters”)

It is a bit creepy when Stan says, “I bet a guy like that would do anything to keep his family safe.” Maybe Stan is a nuthouse, but leave me to my dream for now.

Is it me or did Yorke look older than 40? 1978????

Deputy Director Bell is evil. Calling it now.

The Longbow Hunters don’t actually use bows. This is a twist I did not see coming.

Bl*ck S*ren can’t lawyer worth a damn, but she can wear a suit.

“Stay behind me.” That was oddly hot Rene. I’m wildly uncomfortable that I find you attractive right now, but it is what it is.

Rene: Been back in town a week and you’re already sneaking out of A.R.G.U.S. behind Papa Dig’s back? I’m so proud.

Felicity: Thanks man.

This whole exchange was delightful and not remotely derogatory like “Blondie.” THY NAME IS CHARACTER GROWTH.

“Grab your balls Curtis, we’re going in.” If the Rene character only exists to say this one line of dialogue then it was worth it.

Why didn’t BS and Dinah go after the Longbow Hunter? What is up with allowing all these criminals to run away at a moderately brisk pace and our people acting like they can’t catch them? They are called legs! Move your ass!

BITCH YOU BETTER NOT STEP ON THAT PHOTO!!!!!!!

Legends of Tomorrow (“The Virgin Gary”)

Legends Season 4 premiere is fantastic and full of all the hi-jinks I’ve missed over hiatus.

“Speaking of the same old crap isn’t that what he did last year?”Legends gets points for acknowledging that Wally gets the storyline shaft a lot.

When you are officially a hero the time bureau gives you a medal, but I was more excited about the balloons.

It would be super weird if the Legends spent more than a day in 2018.

Remember when Oliver asked Sara to move in with him and she went running screaming in the other direction? It all worked out because Sara knew he was really in love with Felicity. I’m just saying she’s come a looooong way.

I want to be clear about one thing and it’s not up for debate. Ready? The best thing about Legends is Mick. It’s always Mick. That is all.

OMG NATE’S FATHER IS BIFF FROM BACK TO THE FUTURE?????!!!!!!!! THIS IS SPECTACULAR CASTING!!!

Manifest “Connecting Flights”

It was nice to fill in the back story of the characters left behind after the plane went missing, however the show is starting to lose my attention. I need more movement on these character relationships. Manifest is hitting a lot of the same notes week after week.

This Is Us (“Toby”)

Randall is going ahead with the city council job? Are they independently wealthy Does no one have to work?

Baby Toby is the cutest.

Holy crap is this how in vitro really works? It’s so friggin expensive and no guarantees. Wow, my sympathies to all those who have gone through this excruciating process.

Randall unbuttoning his shirt is all the reason I need to vote for him. Done deal.

Toby used his wonderful sense of humor to cheer up his depressed Mom. Ugh my heart.

But for real though sometimes you need just “one damn day.” #MomLife

Three hours to get ready Kate? Just as an FYI - that’s all over when you have a baby. You’ll be lucky to get a shower.

Miguel carried a piano up stairs to cheer Rebecca up. That’s love.

“There’s so much of her in you it scares me.” THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY TO YOUR CHILD ASSHOLE.

A+ on the prom dresses. Absolutely what I wore in high school. We were fashionista slaves in the late nineties.

Kate’s impression of Adele is dead on.

Miguel tries so hard. He’s just trying to keep his promise to Jack.

Rebecca is such an amazing mom. Kate doesn’t give her nearly enough credit.

KATE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rookie (Pilot” and “Crash Course”)

I really loved The Rookie. I typically don’t hate procedurals, but this one has surprised me thus far. It’s fast paced, so it held my attention more. I hope it stays that way.

I love how it is the rookies versus the training officers. It fills my Rookie Blue void.

I am not invested in any ships yet. I am not buying the romance between Nolan and Lucy so far. I actually think Lucy has more chemistry with Bradford and Nolan with the Captain.

A Million Little Things (“Friday Night Dinner” and “The Game of Your Life”)

I want to love this show, but they are making it next to impossible. I hate cheating storylines in any show. It’s one of the main reasons I quit watching Shonda Rhimes’ shows because she is unable to write one without including adultery. Arrow’s original love story revolved around cheating and was an absolute mess. It feels like a lazy way to inject drama. This cheating storyline between Eddie and Delilah is making two characters who are otherwise very likable extremely unlikable.

Instead of jettisoning this plot into the atmosphere where it belongs and never speaking of it again, A Million Little Things is double down on it. Delilah is pregnant! Oh wonderful, now we get to play “Who’s the Daddy?” for several weeks.

Apparently, the writers come from The Fl*sh school of writing. Characters can only be mad at other characters for one episode. All the friends found out about Eddie and Delilah’s affair and the very next week they are sitting down to pizza. It’s at Delilah’s house and Eddie’s wife Katherine comes too because FRIENDS. No. Just no.

Instead of being angry at Eddie and Delilah, the friends make excuses for them. Regina’s conversation with Delilah turned into a huge “I didn’t see your pain” apology, which is flat out ridiculous. What Delilah did was so off the charts wrong there is no excuse for it. If you are in pain see a therapist. It’s not an excuse to cheat on your husband. Also, Regina you are not to blame for Delilah lying to everyone for over two years.

Gary, who has been the angriest, decides he’s being too hard on Eddie (ya know by actually holding him accountable for his actions) and lets Eddie move in with him after his wife finally kicked him out. Are you freaking kidding me with this? I was already mildly irked at Gary for giving Delilah a free pass, but I understood his reasoning because her husband just jumped off a building. She has been punished quite a lot. But Eddie? I think we could muster a couple episodes of anger towards Eddie.

The writers attempted drum up sympathy for Delilah by shining a little light on her seemingly perfect marriage with Jon. It’s not really perfect, but what marriage is? Jon was short with Delilah during a family dinner. He took a phone call from work and snapped, “Everything I do is for this family.” What a bastard. Of course, that is reason enough for Delilah to jump into bed with Eddie, her husband’s best friend. GIVE. ME. A. FRIGGIN. BREAK. If my husband slept with someone else every time I was cranky with him, he’d have a harem.

So, on top of being suicide apologists, the writers are adding cheating apologists. There is no reason to cheat. It’s just mean. Nobody has put a gun to your head. If you want out of your marriage you march to an attorney’s office and file for divorce. Not sure if you want a divorce? Then go to counseling. But cheating, under any circumstances, is wrong. It’s cruel and selfish. It’s trying to have your cake and eat it too. A Million Little Things trying to excuse away Eddie and Delilah’s heinous behavior is almost as bad as the cheating itself. Trying to make suicide and cheating okay with excuses is dangerous behavior. I AM NOT A FAN.

Stray Thought - on what planet is a school program presented in the middle of the freaking day? What kind of ridiculous school do Eddie and Katherine send their son to?

Blindspot (“The Quantico Affair”)

Zapata has a very interesting running stride. Sorry I was in cross country. That stuff interests me

Roman saying "He knows. This is it. Kill him" underscores the dramatic tension.

I’m gonna need someone on Team Blindspot to pick up on Remi's side eye. Y'all are FBI agents for goodness sake.

I don't actually know what Patterson's name is, but I feel confident it is not Lisa.

I think Martin Gero saw me write "Where is Patterson's storyline?" in my last review. I could have opted for patience, but complaining loudly via written word felt like a better plan.

Hey watch the condemnation Remi aka Jane aka double secret agent who told so many lies I can't keep it straight anymore.

OMG Rich not explaining how the tattoo was solved is the best thing ever. PLEASE DO THIS EVERY WEEK

I wanna talk about the Book of Secrets mostly because Rich calls it the Book of Secrets.

Hahaha. Her one night stand showed up at work. This is how Meredith and McDreamy began. I highly recommend elevator scenes too.

One night stand boy is Weitz's nephew. IT. JUST. GOT. BETTER

Sure Madeline come on in and check out our super secret tattoo murder board.

"Thundercats ho!" OMG was that an ad lib?

Totally ship Patterson and this dude. I should probably learn his name.

Somebody tell Rich about the one night stand. Pleeeeeeeease.

I'm not calling him Lincoln. He shall be known as "Slab of Man-Ham" forevermore.

Patterson and Rich are the perfect work wife/husband team. Remember Rich is the work wife

How does Weitz maintain employment? This may be the greatest of all Blindspot's mysteries.

Of course "Jane" and Weller are on the train Weitz. IT'S THEIR JOB. Seriously someone get this dude a DVD of #Blindspot S1-S3

Patterson girl, Jane is never that cranky with you when she's diffusing bombs. SOMEBODY NOTICE PERSONALITY CHANGES PLEASE!!!

"You're new here." ALL KNEEL TO PATTERSON.

#daredevil #arrow #this is us #legends of tomorrow #a million little things #blindspot #weekly rundown reviews #weekly rundown

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bestfriendforhire · 3 years

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Children of BFFH, Entry 73

“Care if I do some scouting now that we’re away from Ashengarde City?” asked Rona hopefully. Having a character name that matched her actual name was convenient, but I still had her on my list. When she had asked me to join her and some friends on a quest, I didn’t really expect anything as grandiose as this, nor as time-consuming.

“Good plan. I’ll cover the ground.” replied Holly Wood, who appeared to be a River Elf. She had a bow and several types of swords. Though Forest Elves were constantly fighting my people for land, River Elves were too far away to care about Muckbluck Goblins.

I scanned my list for the player name that Rona had provided me. “Doc” was what she had told me. Was she actually named that? If not, why would they call her a doc?

“Anyone willing to carry my pack?” questioned Rona. “Gets in the way if something attacks me.”

“I’ll take it. Perseverance can carry a lot.” I told her, having my character accept the moment she offered. On one hand, a Paladin was guaranteed to be the most trustworthy ally, but handing over these ridiculously expensive packs with their even more expensive contents was insane. Though Rona and I have been texting, we only met two days ago.

My jaw dropped open as Rona changed into a black bird and flew away. I’d have never guessed that her character was a shapeshifter. Was that racial or a spell she knew? Actually, I didn’t have a clue what any of these people could do.

“Where’s Holly?” I questioned, realizing I couldn’t see her. “I was going to assist her, since my stealth is decent, despite my armor.”

Damien’s laughter was easy to recognize, despite being muffled from the coffin he was in. “You’d never keep up.” he insisted. I certainly hadn’t expected several characters to be vampires. They all had very stereotypical coffins, hauled in a wagon covered by a canvas.

“What Greythorn is trying to tell you is that Holly is a Ranger, as in the title. She’s the best tracker and scout among us in the wilds.” explained Peredur, a tall fairy-like boy brown hair and gossamer wings. He looked like a type of melee combatant with several weapons strapped to him.

According to my list, that was… Four? I really hoped his parents hadn’t numbered him. I was fairly sure my clan had a NPC Ranger, but I didn’t have a clue what a player had to go through to get the title.

“That does sound advantageous.” I admitted, wishing I knew more than that these were Four’s friends. None of them sounded like adults, but did they all know Damien in person? “If you don’t mind my asking, how did all of you meet?” I questioned.

There was a brief pause before anyone replied. Then Anima said, “Excluding Rona, we’re the children of Best Friend For Hire. We all grew up playing this together where our parents work. Since you’re going to see some strange things from my character anyway, I might as well tell you that my mom is the game’s developer, giving my character a unique inheritance.”

Anima looked like a human priest. She wore a perfectly white robe with silver trim and a black belt that held her morningstar and a dagger, so I assumed she was a healer, though most people focused on healing also carried a shield.

“She means to say we inherited some admin-like abilities.” asserted Justine, sounding giddy. Justine was probably human, though her skin and hair were perfectly white. She wore a short skirt and a tight-fitting top, both in black. The gold stripes on them made her look like some sort of superhero. Lifting the enormous hammer strapped to her back would take inhuman strength outside of the game.

Messy and Crazy were the supposed names of these two. Was Rona just messing with me, or did they really call one another that?

“So you’re sisters?” I asked, trying not to say anything embarrassing as my brain struggled with the idea that I was playing Ancient Tribes of Earth with the creator’s daughters.

As Justine laughed, Anima said, “No. Technically, she’s my niece, but we’re about the same age. My sister is older.”

“When you say admin-like, what sort of abilities do you have?” I asked hopefully. Realizing she might not want to tell me, I quickly said, “Sorry. I am curious, but you don’t have to say, though knowing what all of you can do might help if we get into a fight.”

“Just listen to Ella or Four. Ella probably remembers you exist by now. She’s our de facto battle master when Four doesn’t take charge. He’s our leader.” explained Kyduan, whom Rona named Aid.

“Remembers I exist?” I prodded, not sure what to think of that.

“Ella has very poor short-term memory.” explained Anima. “As for my abilities, I can do things like this.” she stated just as an elephant appeared next to me. “I ran into some trouble a few months ago, so I’ve been working at leveling my unique skills. I can summon a large variety of the game’s creatures now.”

“I spawn weapons, not creatures.” asserted Justine, using the shrug emote.

“Okay… so Anima is a healer with beast summoning, and Justine is a fighter?” I asked to confirm.

“Yes, I primarily heal, so good way to think of us.” replied Anima.

“I’m working on a Wizard title, so I have a very large number of diverse spells.” supplied Kyduan.

“What’s that one give you?” I asked, feeling curious.

“A flat twenty-five percent off on spell cost, twenty-five percent increased effect, and a number of unique spells. The real trick to getting it is keeping all spell skills balanced for an extended period. I have to do non-combat spells constantly to keep them on par with my other spells.” he explained.

“If we explain what we can do, will you be able to remember which is which?” questioned Ada, who was walking by Adele, Adeline, and Adelaide. The only distinct difference between the Elven girls were their weapons.

I wasn’t even certain what type of Elves they were. “I’ll certainly try, but… why did you make your characters so similar?”

“We’re quadruplets.” stated Adeline, though she sounded exactly the same to me.

Then Adelaide said, “Identical quadruplets.”

“We’re used to matching.” added Adele.

“I go to school with identical twins, but I haven’t met quadruplets before.” I admitted.

Before I could say more, Holly came running toward us, calling “Hármann raiding party coming our way on blighthounds.”

“How many?” asked Peredur immediately.

“Around thirty. I didn’t take the time for an accurate count, but I didn’t see any Pride Marks.” she replied.

If I remembered right, Hármann painted their bodies as displays of their previous victories.

“I took count!” exclaimed Rona as she came swooping down to land on Peredur’s shoulder. “Thirty-three of them.”

“Can you control your minions from the air?” asked Four.

“You bet!” she exclaimed.

“Try to get them around to flank while flying circles over the Hármann party.” ordered Four. “We’ll move to intercept, so Megwrn can see what we can do. Ella, ambush plan.”

Seemingly without even needing time to think, Ella said, “Right. Mounted Hármann. Aid stay with the cart and give the vampires cover on my mark. They’ll charge in from the side after we engage. Doc will create a trench in front of their charge, aiming to trip their mounts. Then standard wall and assault formation. Rona, use your magic to keep them funneled after the trench is deployed. Some might try to escape the open side of our formation. Messy, summon something ferocious if any get through the walls. Layla, you’re part of the wall, so front line on the left, please.”

“Wait. My duty is to first try to make peace first. As violent as they are, Hármann are intelligent.” I explained, knowing my new friends weren’t experienced at playing with a Paladin in their party. “Also, what minions?”

“Rona’s a Necromancer. Don’t worry. They’re not inherently evil.” supplied Justine.

I had no experience with necromancers at all, so I had to take her word for it. I was a little disturbed that I missed the fact we had Undead following us somewhere nearby.

“In that case, hurry off to meet them. When diplomacy fails, charge toward that thicket.” ordered Ella as she made her character point. “We’ll reach there in time to hide.”

I replied with the nod emote and hurried off. This wasn’t how I was used to playing, but the experience would be good. Small parties of my Goblin brethren rarely accomplished much compared with guilds like The Garde, and my solo play was largely just role-playing with the game’s NPCs.

Spotting the raiding party, I rode out toward them, reigning Perseverance in a good fifty meters from them and casting Divine Presence to make me more noticeable while increasing my voice range. Then I activated diplomacy and called “Please, stop and speak with me!”

The riders turned as a group toward me and started speeding up.

“If you do not slow yourselves, I’ll take that as a sign that you’re looking to fight.” I told them, frowning when there wasn’t a reaction. With a sigh, I charged toward the thicket. Diplomacy rarely worked on raiding parties, but I still hoped to pull it off eventually. As I rode, careful not to outpace the raiders by too much, I pulled Hamchopper to the ready.

When my mom decided to retire from the game, she had gifted me her giant cleaver, Hamchopper, as well as her armor and other gear. Nekopawpaw had made Hamchopper a couple years ago as a special order through Uncle Mick, and the cleaver had proven its worth through countless fights. Without the great gear, I probably wouldn’t have managed becoming a Paladin.

Hearing the sounds of Hármann screaming behind me, I glanced back to see the back lines crashing into the front as a large pit opened in the ground. By the time I was looking ahead again, spells and arrows were flying past me. I hurried around to take my place, jumping off Perseverance as I reached the end of the line.

A moving cloud of darkness charged into the Hármann raiders from the side, and the screams intensified. When a zombie leaped onto the back of a Hármann who had attempted to flee, I realized that the fight wouldn’t even reach me. I had seen some similar one-sided victories from the great warriors of my clan, but I never expected such a feat from other kids.

#Children of BFFH #Children #of #BFFH #Jovial Times #Jovial #Times #Fantasy #Fiction #Story

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derangedangel · 7 years

Text

Religious - Theo Raeken

Summary: Based on Religious by NeYo

Theo Raeken x Reader

Word Count: 1,557

Author’s note: I love the song this is based on. I’m totally playing this at my wedding. It’s so beautiful. And when I heard it recently it made me think of when Theo said he was an atheist. Kinda weird, but I love the concept of Theo not believing in God then finding love and starting to believe.

Warnings: Religion talk...

Some of the words are lyrics by NeYo

Theo Raeken didn’t believe in God. Who could blame him? The dread doctors picked him at an early age to become a chimera. He watched his sister drown. Even when he got dragged to his own personal hell, he still didn’t believe. There wasn’t a higher power watching over him. Protecting him from evil.

You on the other hand were different. No, you weren’t super religious. You didn’t go to church every Sunday. But you did find comfort in believing in God and heaven. It was depressing for you to think after death you just laid in the ground. With all the death surrounding you, it was nice to think all the friends who you lost because of supernatural creatures were at peace.

It was early Saturday morning. You were still asleep but Theo had woken up a few minutes prior. He laid facing you, while you were laying on your stomach in one of Theo’s oversized tank tops. There was a little bit of sunlight pouring through your curtains that Theo thought hit you just right. He loved these moments.

The sunlight highlighted your skin perfectly. There was a glow around you like a halo. Theo began to run his fingers through you hair lightly. You moved a little, but didn’t wake up.

Theo wondered how he got so lucky. He was a bad guy. Emphasis on was. Being with you had made him want to change for the better. But sometimes he still couldn’t understand what you saw in him to give him a chance. What did this beautiful, intelligent woman see in this monster? There had to be some higher power at work.

Being with you had him question everything he knew. There was no way you walking into his life was pure coincidence. It couldn’t have been luck either. It wasn’t like forgetting to do your homework and the teacher forgetting to pick it up. Or making it to your car right before the meter times out and you get a ticket. No. This was something different. You understood him more than anyone else. You forgave him for his mess ups. You comforted him when he had nightmares about his sister. Theo felt like you were made for him.

As a little more sunlight began to peek through the curtains, you scrunched up your face and opened one of your eyes just a little. You saw Theo staring back at you and you closed your eye again readjusting you head on your pillow.

“It’s rude to stare.”

“I’m not staring.”

“Then how do you define what you are doing?”

“Admiring your beauty.”

You smirked, your eyes still closed. “Flattery will get you everywhere, Raeken.”

“And where will it get me now?” You could hear the smirk slowing appearing on your boyfriend’s face.

You opened your eyes and leaned in closer to your boyfriend leaving a gentle kiss on his soft lips.

Theo smiled as he said, “I should probably also mention you look extremely sexy in my shirt.”

You leaned up and gave him another peck on the lips. This one a little longer than the last.

“Oh, and I can’t forget-“

You cut him off placing your finger over his lips.

“I see what you’re doing baby, but my morning breath has other plans.”

“Alright. Why don’t I go make us some breakfast so you can deal with that?”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Just give me 5 more minutes.”

“Just 5 more minutes.”

You snuggled up to Theo laying your head on his shirtless chest. Five minutes later, Theo crawled out of bed and you groaned in annoyance.

“Come on Y/N. It’s been 5 minutes.”

“Yeah, but I was comfortable.”

“How about this? You go take care of your morning breath that’s preventing you from giving me more kisses, and I’ll bring breakfast in here so we can have breakfast in bed, and just lay her for a while longer.”

“Yes and yes.” You looked up at your handsome boyfriend and said, “How did I get so lucky?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the lucky one in this relationship.” He leaned down to kiss you one more time before he went off into the kitchen to cook.

A little while later, Theo came back into your shared bedroom with two plates of breakfast on a tray. There was some coffee for him and a glass of orange juice for you. He carefully set the food down on the bed as he made his way into the bathroom. He heard the shower running and your voice echoing off the bathroom tiles. It sounded like a choir of angels. He swore he never heard anything more beautiful in his life. By no means were you Adele, but you could be reading the phonebook and Theo would just sit there listening to you.

“Babe, breakfast is ready!” Theo yelled trying to get you to hear him over the shower.

“Okay! I’ll be out in a minute!”

After a few minutes, you were crawling back into bed with Theo.

He raised his eyebrow at you as he asked, “Did you take a shower just to put on another one of my t-shirts?”

“Yup,” you said, popping the p as you smiled at him.

Theo shook his head, placing the tray over your lap.

“This looks delicious.”

After both of you finished eating, Theo took the tray and empty plates back to the kitchen. You sunk lower back into bed making yourself comfortable in your fluffy white sheets.

Theo made his way back into the bedroom and crawled under the sheets. He wrapped his arms around your waist and laid his head on your chest. You easily wrapped your arms around him as he snuggled into your embrace. You traced patterns into Theo’s back as he listened to your steady heartbeat.

“I love you,” Theo said.

“I love you, too, baby,” you said as you brought your hand up to run your fingers through his hair.

Theo was quiet for a few more seconds and you felt the energy in the room shift.

“Hey.” Theo hummed in response. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking.”

“About?”

“You… Us.”

A small smile covered your face. “What about me?”

Theo readjusted his head on your chest then said, “Just wondering what I did to deserve you. You’re literally perfect and-“

“Woah, Theo, I am not perfect. Why are you even thinking that?” You moved so you were now looking at him in the eyes.

“I don’t know,” he said as he ruffled his hair. “Sometimes I just don’t see why an angel like you would want to deal with a guy like me.”

“Baby,” you reached up and placed your hand on Theo’s cheek. “I. love. You. You aren’t the same guy you were when I first met you. You’ve changed. I don’t want you thinking you don’t deserve me or you don’t deserve to be happy. When you say that, it hurts me. It’s like you’re saying I shouldn’t be with you. Like I decided wrong when I picked you. And honestly, it wasn’t even a choice. I had no say in it. I was pulled to you. We were meant to be together. I have no doubt in my mind that when I’m old and sitting on my front porch, you’re going to be the one next to me in a matching rocking chair.”

You had teared up a little by the end of your speech, but you had got Theo’s full attention. He knew how much you loved him and he felt bad for even thinking that he didn’t deserve you. He saw how much it upset you that he was thinking that and he wanted you to know he wasn’t going anywhere.

Theo pulled you in for a slow kiss. His thumbs carefully moving back and forth on your cheeks. Once he pulled away, he starred into your eyes that he loved so much.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I don’t want to upset you. I love you so much. Sometimes I just look at you and wonder how I could get so lucky. And I don’t think it was luck. You and me aren’t just a coincidence. You’re right. We were meant to be together. You know I don’t believe in God, but you’ve got me thinking there’s someone up there calling the shots cause there’s no way I could have found you on my own.”

By this point, tears were streaming down your face and Theo was wiping them away.

You giggled lightly before you responded. “How did a morning spent just lying in bed turn into us spilling our guts and me crying?”

Theo pressed his lips against your forehead then said, “I’m not sure. But I’m glad we did.”

He pulled you in for a hug, then the both of you settled back into bed. Theo’s head resting on your chest with your hand slowly running through his soft brown hair. And Theo’s strong arms wrapped around your waist.

Theo wasn’t sure exactly what higher power was at work that brought you two together. But whoever it was, he was eternally grateful. He would spend every day thanking whoever put you in his life. And he would spend every day making sure you knew how grateful he was to have you there.

#Theo Raeken x Reader #Theo Raeken Imagine #teen wolf imagine #Teen Wolf

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taintsrow · 7 years

Text

Melody Baker, The One who Dreamed

I woke up the way I always did, at the bottom of a free-fall in my dream. This time it had been the result of a long chase, running from a huge black dog. Not an evil dog. Not even a scary one. Just a dog. In the final seconds of my dream, I'd leapt into the empty space of a slot canyon, convinced that I could fly. As always, I'd been wrong. I've never told anyone about my constant dreams. My mother would probably just tell me it was God's way of telling me not to fall into darkness. My friends would say that I was losing my mind. Any good therapist would assume I'm gay and try to get me out of the closet. But the dreams don't bother me. When I sleep, I run. When I run, I jump. When I jump, I fall. When I fall, I wake up. No big deal. Rolling over in the hopes of getting back to sleep, I catch a glimpse of the clock. Six twenty-nine. One minute before the alarm. Great. I swing my legs out of the bed regretfully, not looking forward to the day ahead. It was Sunday. A long, boring day for the choir girl who no longer believed in God. Taking my robe into the bathroom, i set about getting ready for the day. One shower, two broken floss picks, and three Adele tracks later, and I was ready. I headed down to grab a bit of breakfast and ran headlong into Mother as I rounded the corner between our rooms. "Melody! Why such a rush, darling?" she said, patting my hair fondly. Mother has always loved my hair. I smiled fondly. "I'm a bit late, Mother Superior," I said, "and I was hoping to get some breakfast before it was all gone." Mother arched her brow imperiously. "Young ladies should always be mindful of their schedules and commitments, Melody Jane. You should always make sure to-" "-be on time. Yes, Mother. I know. And I'm sorry. But I'm also hungry and-" "-and I've brought your favorites." Drawing her hands out of her robe, Mother handed me a blueberry muffin, two packets of strawberries, and a small bottle of milk. She quirked her mouth up quietly. "After all, what girl doesn't deserve to be a bit late on her birthday?" We laughed and started walking together toward the chapel, she gliding in her habit, me bobbing in my robe and trying not to spill crumbs. We chatted along the way, but as we came to the chapel door, she took me by the arm and held me close. "Melody, I need to speak with you after service. You're old enough now, and need to know the truth about your parents." My heart leapt and my mind brimmed with hundreds of questions, but as I opened my mouth, she laid her finger over my lips. "Hush, child," she whispered. "I'll tell you soon." With that, she opened the doors and we went into the chapel. The parishioners were already filing in, and I rushed to take my seat in the choir loft. Service went slowly as always, following the same pattern it had for hundreds of years. Throughout the long prayers and countless hymns, however, I felt increasingly uneasy. Finally, I pinpointed the reason why. In the third row sat a man. A man who stared at me. Without blinking. For twenty minutes. Now, I'm used to strangers' stares, because my hair is...unique. It falls to my shoulders, which is normal, but it almost glows in every shade of blue and green you could imagine. It looks different every single day. And it's always been that way. I've even tried to dye it brown, but the dye just wouldn't take. Because of this, I get a lot of strange looks. But this guy...this guy was different. Ominous. Frightening. Suddenly consumed by irrational fear, I got up from my seat and ran to the bathroom. Once there, I ran the tap and splashed water on my face, trying to calm down. "So. Here you are." I froze. The voice was a man's. I was afraid I knew to whom it belonged. Turning, I saw him. Pale. Thin. Long face. Deep voice. Black eyes. Smile like a knife in velvet. "I've been looking for you for a very long time, girl," he practically sneered. "Where's your mother?" I fumbled for an answer as I looked for an escape. I found neither. As I stammered my way through "I don't know," I saw his face go slack and his body slump. "I'm right here, you son of a bitch!" Mother Superior hissed as the man fell to the floor. She stood tall over him, like a goddess of old. Then, turning to me, she held out her hand and said one word that would change my life. "Run." We tore through halls, up stairs, opening doors, ducking through corridors. I was panting and crying. Mother was stoic and calm. We finally reached our destination which was, apparently, the top of the bell tower. Here, she finally stopped. She grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "Melody, I'm so sorry. I thought we had more time. I need to tell you about your mother." I looked at her, unable to speak. "I told you she left you here. Alone. Unwanted. That wasn't true." The trapdoor she'd locked behind us began thumping. Someone wanted in. For the first time, I saw fear in her eyes. She turned back to me. "Damn it. I wanted to explain." She reached up and ripped off her head covering, exposing her hair for the first time in my life. Her long, shimmering hair, all in shades of blue and green. "Melody. I am your mother. And right now, I need you to do one thing for me." I nodded slowly, numbly. "Darling, I need you to jump." As she said this, she followed her own advice and leapt from the tower. "Mother!" And suddenly, without even meaning to, I followed her. And this time, I flew.

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miraculouspaon · 7 years

Text

Where Have All The Heroes Gone And Where Are All The Gods?

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Danielle

AO3

“Wow, this place has a serious echo,” Monique said appreciatively as she stepped inside the Agreste mansion. “How big is it? Do I get a tour?”

“The project’s due in nineteen hours,” Dani replied, shutting the giant door behind them. “I bet a tour of this place takes at least twenty. We should probably just head upstairs and get to work.”

It had taken some convincing on Dani’s part, getting her grandparents to agree to let Dani have a friend over. Dani could hardly blame them, considering everything that went on under their roof. But Dani and Monique, both chronic procrastinators, had partnered up for a chemistry presentation due tomorrow, and so far they’d used exactly none of the two weeks they’d been given to work on it. Monique’s house was out due to extremely noisy renovations, so Dani had impulsively suggested working on it at the mansion. After minimal whining, and repeated assurances that Monique would be nowhere near anything dangerous, and would be gone well before curfew, Adele and Gabriel had finally, begrudgingly, allowed it. So now Dani was leading Monique through the foyer, upstairs, and to the library.

“So the wall to the left is one giant bookshelf,” Dani told Monique as they entered, “there's a table and some chairs in the middle we’ll be working at once we kick Louis out, a few couches to the far right, and a couple of small writing desks against the back wall.”

“Got it.” Monique extended her cane and began to sweep it back and forth as she walked around the perimeter of the room, learning its layout.

“Why can't I work in here, too?” Louis asked, annoyed.

“Because we actually need to work,” Dani said, crossing to the table and dropping her backpack on its surface, “and if it's the three of us we won't get more than five minutes done.”

“I won't say anything, I'll just-” Louis abruptly stopped talking. Dani followed his line of sight and just managed to keep from gasping. On the other side of the room, Monique had paused in front of a painting and was now doing her best to examine it intently.

Specifically, she was examining the painting that hid the safe containing the dormant Miraculouses.

“Who’s this?” Monique asked, after Louis and Dani had been staring at her speechlessly for a few moments. Her nose was a centimeter away from it.

“Uh… Manet,” Dani finally said.

“Huh. Weird.”

“What is?” Louis asked cautiously.

“Nothing, I just…” Monique shrugged, not taking her face away from the painting. “Well, I'm not usually one for purely visual art, you know? There's really only a handful of artists who have enough contrast in their paintings that I can actually see anything to appreciate, and Manet definitely isn't one of them. His paintings are all just a uniform blur. This one, too. But… I can't put my finger on it, but there's something about this one that-”

“Oh, wow, Louis, I just remembered I gotta show you something back in our room,” Dani said, grabbing her brother and dragging him to the door. “Be right back, Monique.” Dani pulled her brother out of the room, down the hall a few doors, and forcefully shoved him inside their bedroom before closing the door behind her. From her bed, Emma looked up and put her book down.

“What are you two-”

“What the hell was that, Louis?” Dani demanded.

“Sorry, I probably should have seen that coming,” Louis said, embarrassed.

“Seen what coming?” Emma asked.

“Monique and I were in the library when suddenly Monique went right up to the picture hiding the Miraculouses! It was crazy, it was like they were pulling her in or something, she-” Dani noticed the look she was getting from her brother. “What?”

“That's how you're going to phrase it? Really? When the “made a beeline” pun is right there?”

“Oh my God, Louis, this is serious! What if that happens with an Order guard or something?”

“It won't,” Louis said confidently. “Miraculouses have incredible defenses, and they don't want to be found by people who aren't suited to them.”

“So…” Dani furrowed her brow, “so you're saying they do want to be found by Monique. Or at least, the Bee one does.”

“I mean, it's a little more complicated than that but yeah, basically.”

“So give it to her already!”

“It has to be the right time,” Louis said defensively. “You think we only became suited to ours on Occupation Day? We could've gotten these years ago if that was the only factor that mattered.”

“Gosh, what a nightmare that would have been,” Emma said dryly, “actually getting a few years of experience under our belt before fighting the evil wizard army.”

“We wouldn't be fighting anyone,” Louis snapped. “We’d be… wherever Mom and Dad are.”

“Oh. Right.” Emma picked her book up and went back to reading, and Louis turned back to Dani.

“Just let me worry about the Miraculouses, okay?” Louis said. Dani rolled her eyes.

“Fine, fine,” she said.

“And maybe get back there and start your stupid project before Monique figures out just what’s so interesting about that painting, you kind of left her alone with it.”

“Right. Sorry.”

~~~

“What time is it?” Monique asked as they were wrapping up.

“Um,” Dani looked at her phone, “five to seven.” Monique’s eyes widened. “Sorry, I guess I lost track of the time. Are you going to get in trouble? We can drive you home, if-”

“It’s not that,” Monique interrupted. Her emotional signature had shifted dramatically. She was feeling anxious, excited, but also daring, almost. “I just wanted to get back by seven, because, well…” Monique leaned in and dropped her voice to a near whisper. “I was eavesdropping on my parents the other day, and this woman my mom works with told her she’d heard from-well, it doesn’t matter, but she heard there was going to be a broadcast. You know, a resistance one. My parents are going to be listening to it.”

“Oh. Wow,” Dani said, trying to sound excited.

“Have you ever heard one?”

“No,” Dani told her, not adding that this was because she usually just got the information from Alya herself, in person, before mission assignments.

“I heard the last one. I know everybody finds out everything that’s in them within a day or two, but hearing them live, it’s,” Monique grinned, “trust me, it’s something else entirely.” She reached down to her side and grabbed her backpack off the floor, then opened it and pulled out a small radio. She placed it gently on the table, but then her face fell and Dani caught a sudden flash of guilt. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t assume-if you’re uncomfortable I’ll put it away, I promise, I won’t think less of you, I know listening to them is illegal, it’s fine, I’ll get the recap later, I know your grandparents are really like strict and paranoid and stuff-”

“Monique, it’s fine,” Dani interrupted. “I want to listen to it.”

“Are you sure? Your grandparents-”

“Won’t find out. It’s fine, I promise.” Nodding, Monique turned on the set and began to tune it, running her fingers over the Braille numbers along the edge as she did so. The two girls listened to static for another minute or so before a familiar voice came on.

“Bonjour, Paris!” Alya said cheerfully. “This is Alya Lahiffe coming to you live from the heart of the city with all the news that’s fit to censor. First up, as always, is corrections to what passes for journalism nowadays. Pierre Laurent, arrested last Wednesday, was charged with and found guilty of attempting to bomb a primary school in the eighth arrondissement. What this patriot was actually doing-”

“Isn’t she incredible?” Monique asked, as Alya’s report continued.

“Oh, yeah,” Dani agreed. She knew all the information already, but it really was something to hear Aunt Alya live. She sounded so happy, in a way she almost never did in person. She must have missed being a reporter far more than Dani had realized.

“She’s so brave,” Monique added. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, the trio’s great, too, but Alya Lahiffe doesn’t have a secret identity or anything to keep her safe and she’s still doing so much. I think the Order might hate her even more than they hate the ‘deranged vigilantes’.”

“-finally made contact with our brothers and sisters in Lisbon,” Alya was now saying, “and I am happy to report that they’ve got two new superheroes running circles around the Order, keeping citizens safe in these trying times-”

Monique squealed excitedly. “Two superheroes!” she exclaimed. “What’s that now, almost a dozen, right? And that’s only the places the Paris resistance has been able to make contact with, who knows what London looks like, or Rome, or maybe some of the smaller cities, you know, the ones with less of an Order presence. There could be over twenty, who knows.”

“-is all for now, but stay tuned, Paris, because we’re not going anywhere. Vive la France!” The broadcast ended, and static resumed. Monique grinned at Dani.

“Well? Pretty great, huh?”

“Mm hmm.”

“You knew her, right?” Monique asked, catching Dani off guard. “You, like, used to babysit for her kid or something?”

“Oh… oh, yeah, I did. She was friends with my mom.”

“What’s she like in person? Really awesome?” Monique’s sheer admiration was starting to overwhelm Dani, make her feel slightly lightheaded, and it was getting difficult to think of how to answer correctly.

“Yeah, you know, I just thought of her as my mom’s friend I guess. I don’t think I would have pegged her as, you know…”

“The badass leader of a resistance movement?” Monique suggested.

“Yeah.” Dani glanced across the room, at the painting on the other side. God, Monique would be so good, so excited to be a part of fighting the Order. Dani hadn’t realized just how much something like that would have meant to her friend before the broadcast, before feeling Monique’s raw enthusiasm. It took all Dani’s self-control to not cross the room, open the safe, and hand the Miraculous over to her friend herself.

“... but you can print it out, right?” Monique asked, snapping Dani out of her thoughts.

“Huh?”

“The presentation? We have to turn in a typed-up copy, you have a printer, right?”

“Oh, right, yeah.”

~~~

“Ready?” Emma held up her hands, her siblings each grabbed one, and they disappeared.

Clear across the city, the three heroes rematerialized on the roof across from the unmarked building their Aunt Alya had identified for them earlier. According to her informant, the Order had preemptively captured various family members of suspected rebels and was holding them in the basement across the street.

“Are they there?” Louis asked Dani.

“Yeah, there’s definitely something going on over there. Lots of fear.” She closed her eyes for a moment, concentrating. Then she opened them, horrified.

“What?” Louis asked. “What’s wrong?”

“They’re… they’re all just kids. Like, like little kids. No spouses, no teenagers, I think the oldest one can’t be older than seven.”

“Jesus,” Emma whispered. She took a moment to let this hit her fully, then she shook her head. “It’s awful,” she agreed, “but we can’t think about it right now, we have a mission to complete.”

“You don’t understand,” Dani said. “Even if I was willing to put a seven-year-old in danger by making them a Champion, which I'm very much not, I can’t. They're all just terrified, they're not feeling brave or heroic.”

“Oh.” Emma frowned. “Okay, so… so we don't use a Champion. We've done rescue missions without them before.”

“Not since the Order started using anti-teleportation fields, we haven't,” Dani said. “We need a Champion to take it down if we want to get in there and get those kids out.”

“What if we just, you know, went through the front door? Like normal people?” Louis suggested. “No offense,” he added, looking at Emma.

“That’ll take too long, we need the element of surprise. Even a few seconds could be too long, who knows what they’ll do to those kids if they see us coming.” Dani paced a little, then kicked the ledge in frustration. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“It's okay, we’ll think it through, we’ll figure it out,” Emma said, trying to make her voice soothing, steady. “We can-”

“I figured it out,” Dani interrupted. “I just really didn't want to resort to this. I thought I could get through the occupation without it. Obviously that was stupid of me.” She closed her eyes, held her hand out, and a few moments later a small white butterfly landed in her open palm. Dani cupped her other hand over it and focused.

“Resort to what?” Emma asked.

“Shh.”

“But I thought you said-”

“Emma. Please, please shut up.” Louis shook his head at her and Emma fell silent, confused. She didn't realize what her sister was doing until Dani removed her top hand and sent the butterfly, now pitch black, gently fluttering away. A few minutes later, the butterfly had made its way inside the precinct and landed on an Order guard.

“Hello, Margaret,” Dani said. She made her voice low, inviting. Dani barely recognized it.

“Mariposa,” the guard hissed. “What do you want?”

“Oh, it's not really about what I want,” Dani said smoothly. She curled her fingers in on themselves, twisting Margaret’s emotions. Gone went any loyalty to the Order, along with any fear she might have of future retribution for her actions. Dani muted everything except the woman’s resentment, which she amplified as much as she was able. “It’s about what you want. What you were promised. What you’re owed. They told you you’d be running this city, didn’t they? The leaders of the Order. They said Paris would roll over and accept this new world, with you at the top. How much of your life did you dedicate to this cause?”

It was so easy, so painfully easy, that was the worst part. It was scaring Emma and Louis a little, Dani could feel them clear as day behind her, but she ignored them and continued focusing on the guard. If Dani was going to be damned, if she was going to do this, she’d better commit and do the best job she could.

Dani sighed sympathetically, dramatically. “And is it everything you dreamed it would be, Margaret? Is it everything they said it would be? They didn’t even get rid of all the superheroes like they promised they would. And now they’ve got you babysitting. You know you’re better than that. You know you deserve better than that.”

“I do,” Margaret whispered in agreement. The other three guards in the room still hadn’t noticed she was distracted, that she was talking to herself.

“Teach them a lesson,” Dani suggested, almost coyly. “Show them the price of offering Margaret Collings the world and giving her nothing.”

“How?”

“Accept the power I give you. Take the other guards out before they know what’s happening. Let Hera and Terrapin rescue the kids. That’ll show ‘em. That’ll teach them to respect you.”

“Yes,” Margaret agreed, “yes it will.”

~~~

The second they reappeared in the panic room, Louis started for his supply cabinet. Their uncle was at his desk working, despite the lateness of the hour. He looked up when they appeared, then immediately narrowed his eyes at Dani, concerned.

“Are you okay?” her uncle asked her, and Dani knew he was reading her emotions. “You seem-”

“You,” Dani interrupted venomously, her eyes flashing, “are the last person on the face of the planet I want to be talking to right now.” Before anyone could respond, she’d whirled around and stormed out of the room. For a moment, none of them spoke.

“Did the mission fail?” Jonathan finally asked.

“No,” Emma said, as Louis began winding string tightly around a bundle of herbs. “Easiest mission yet. We didn’t even need a shield.” She hesitated. “Dani akumatized a guard.”

“Ah.” Jonathan sighed. “Adele’s first one was pretty rough on her, too.”

“Grandma made akumas?”

“Very rarely.” Jonathan went back to work as Louis got up and left.

Back in their room, Dani slammed the door shut before leaning against it heavily and exhaling deeply. “I’m sorry, Nooroo,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t-I couldn’t think of anything else-I never wanted to-”

“You did the right thing, Dani,” her kwami assured her. “You should sit down.” Nodding, Dani crossed the room on shaky legs and sat down on her bed. A second later, her brother entered the room. “Go away, Louis,” Dani snapped, “I just want to be left alone.”

“Be alone all you like,” Louis said calmly, as he pulled out a lighter and held it up to his tightly-wound bundle of herbs, “just so long as you're being alone while holding this for at least thirty minutes.” He handed over the now gently smouldering bundle. Rolling her eyes impatiently, Dani took it from him.

“Hold it closer to your center,” Louis said. Dani groaned in annoyance, but obeyed. Louis turned to leave, but before he reached the door Emma appeared.

“Are you okay?” she asked Dani.

“She’ll be fine,” Louis answered for her. “I just need to clear the akuma damage from her energy. It’s standard stuff.”

“Oh.” Emma looked at Dani again. “Anything I can do to help?”

“No,” Dani said.

“Are you sure?”

Dani glared at Emma. “You know, I can tell there’s something you want to say, you don’t have to do that thing you always do, where you ask fifty million questions before you get to the real one.”

Emma bristled. “Fine,” she said. “You… look, I get why Uncle Jonathan wouldn’t be your favorite person right now, of all times, but that’s not the first time you’ve snapped at him.”

“So?”

“So what’s your problem with him? Because that seems like something that might be important for the rest of us to know. Do you sense something? Is he not really working as hard as he could to find Mom and Dad, does he have some kind of ulterior-”

“Of course not,” Dani said, annoyed. “Do you think I’d keep it to myself if he did?”

“Then I don’t get why you’re so antagonistic-”

“Well, of course you don’t get it!” Dani interrupted angrily. “He didn’t torture your kwami, did he?”

Emma opened her mouth, but for a long time no sound came out. “Oh,” she finally said, her voice faint. “Oh, I… God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t think of-”

“No, I,” Dani groaned, “that was too much, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-look. I know better than anyone that he’s sincere, that he’s really changed, that he’s doing his best to find Mom and Dad. And God, I really, desperately hope he succeeds, I do. But I can’t like him, okay? It’s fine if you do, really. I get it. It was a long time ago, he was desperate, he was trying to help Grandma, I know all that. But-”

“You don’t have to explain anything,” Louis interrupted. “We get it.”

“No, you don’t,” Dani said. “It’s not just Nooroo, it’s… I don’t know if either of you can understand it.”

“So explain it,” Emma said. She said it gently, but Dani had already caught a flash of annoyance from her. Emma hated being told she couldn’t understand something more than anything.

“You just don’t know what it's like to have the powers that he abused,” Dani told her. “It's… you know how you feel when you enter a church? Even if you're not religious, there's something about that space that makes you feel quiet inside. It's sacred. You know?” Emma and Louis both nodded. “Well, being inside another person's head is that times a thousand. I don't mean feeling their emotions, I mean specifically that moment right when the butterfly lands and you're in their head. And everything that's lead them to that moment is laid out in front of you like a book you've already read a thousand times. It's so private, so achingly personal. And you have to sort through it, and find the best of them in it, and empower that. And all the while you know you can manipulate any emotions you want, but even touching them feels wrong.” Dani impatiently brushed aside a few tears.

“Here,” Louis said, grabbing a tissue box and handing it over.

“Thanks. So… yeah, so I’m not saying I regret the akuma, I know I had to do it, and I’d do it again. And I know that woman deserved it. But it still makes me sick to think about it, about how I twisted her emotions, how I empowered the worst of her for my own ends. So the thought of someone doing that to somebody innocent, for no other reason than to intentionally cause fear and panic, it’s unspeakable. And he did it over and over and over again. It’s just… maybe I’ll get past it eventually, but not yet.”

Dani could read her siblings, and she knew they still didn’t entirely understand. But she also knew it didn’t matter. They understood she was hurting, and that was enough. Emma crossed the room and sat next to her, and a moment later Louis followed suit. They pressed against her, Emma’s head on her shoulder, Louis’ arm around her. As the smoke of the bundle she was still holding wafted around her, Dani inhaled and exhaled, inhaled and exhaled. Slowly, a piece of her was quieted, soothed.

#where have all the heroes gone and where are all the gods #ml fanfic #danielle agreste #louis agreste #emma agreste #monique i missed you so much

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latesthollywoodnews · 5 years

Text

Cami Mendes REVEALS THIS About Her Boyfriend On Instagram!

Jeremy Brown - Latest News - My Hollywood News

Cami Mendes REVEALS THIS About Her Boyfriend On Instagram!, Hollywood Celebrity Rewards.

youtube

Celebrity News 2018, Hollywood Latest Story Moana, Cami Mendes REVEALS THIS About Her Boyfriend On Instagram!.

Hollywood Celebrities Latest Story 1964 Celebrities Latest Story famous Walt Hollywood Studios is an American film studio, one of the four major businesses of The Walt Hollywood Company and the main component of its Studio Entertainment segment.

Who was Roy to Walt Hollywood?

Roy O. Hollywood. Roy Oliver Hollywood (June 24, 1893 – December 20, 1971) was an American businessman, becoming the partner and co-founder, along with his younger brother Walt Hollywood, of Walt Hollywood Productions, since renamed The Walt Hollywood Company.

What is the story of Sleeping Beauty?

Filled with jealousy, the evil witch Maleficent (Eleanor Audley) curses Princess Aurora (Mary Costa) to die on her 16th birthday. Thanks to Aurora’s guardian fairies (Verna Felton, Barbara Jo Allen, Barbara Luddy), she only falls into a deep sleep that can be ended with a kiss from her betrothed, Prince Phillip (Bill Shirley). To prevent Phillip from rescuing Aurora, Maleficent kidnaps and imprisons him. The good fairies are the last hope to free Phillip so that he can awaken Aurora.

Why was Hollywoodland created?

With limited finances, Walt had to find affordable land. It was also important that his park be located near a major highway. In August of 1953, Hollywood and his partners selected a 160-acre orange grove in Anaheim, California to be the site of Hollywoodland. The construction of Hollywoodland began during the summer of 1954.

More Celebrity News ►►

We didn’t think it was even possible, but Cami Mendes and Charles Melton just got even cuter. These two have officially taken relationship goals to a whole new level.

What’s up guys? It’s Sinead de Vries here with Clevver News and we have to talk about Cami’s incredibly sweet love letter to Charles.

And prepare yourselves for some serious tears, because apparently Cami Mendes can write love notes that could upstage love song lyrics from both John Legend and Adele.

We all know that the Riverdale co-stars, who are love interests on the show, are dating IRL. But we just got a peak behind the curtain as to how much love is brewing between Cami and her man.

Last night, the couple walked the red carpet for the premiere of his new movie “The Sun Is Also a Star.”

To celebrate his big moment, Cami posted a congratulatory, heartfelt, and seriously supportive message on her Instagram. Like she might be the best girlfriend ever.

And here’s your warning to grab your tissues because it’s about to get emotional.

She said quote, “his passion and tenacity are part of the reason i fell in love with him. watching him throw his entire heart and soul into this story of love taught me a lot about the kind of person he is. I’m probably sharing too much, but before we started dating he’d often get mad at me for trying to bring logic into love.”

Are you crying yet? Cuz there’s still more.

She continued by saying quote, “he taught me that love doesn’t have an explanation, it either exists or it doesn’t. it was his vulnerability not only as an actor, but also as a man, that taught me that valuable message, one that is so relevant to this film. i’m so proud of you charles, and so grateful to have witnessed this beautiful journey of yours. can’t wait for the world to see what you’re capable of.”

(sniffles) I’m not crying, there’s just something in my eye.

And if all of that wasn’t enough to make you feel all the feels, Charles replied simply, “I love you,” in the comments.

My heart can’t take it, these two are so perfect.

The Riverdale couple has been Instagram official since October and we have been obsessed with these two ever since.

Most recently we were fangirling over these two at the Met Gala as they served up fierce looks while still being unbelievably adorable together.

Sorry Varchie fans, but I think we’re officially Team Veggie.

Alright guys, it’s time to hear from you! Are you so here for these two? And how sweet was that love letter?

Let us know all your thoughts in the comment section below and hit me up on Instagram, Twitter and YouTube @sineaddevries. After that click right over here to watch another new video and don’t forget to subscribe to our channel and click that bell to get notified whenever we post. Thanks for watching and I’ll see you soon.

For More Clevver Visit: Find us on Facebook: Keep up with us on Instagram: Follow us on Twitter: Tweet Me:

Best Hollywood Celebrities ever, Must Watch English Celebrities, Cami Mendes REVEALS THIS About Her Boyfriend On Instagram!.

Hollywood continued to focus its talents on television throughout the 1950s. Its weekday afternoon children’s television program The Mickey Mouse Club, featuring its roster of young “Mouseketeers”, premiered in 1955 to great success, as did the Davy Crockett miniseries, starring Fess Parker and broadcast on the Hollywoodland anthology show. List Of 2018 Hollywood Films, Cami Mendes REVEALS THIS About Her Boyfriend On Instagram!.

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HIDE IT IN MY SOCK -- THE TOP 10 BEST HIT SONGS OF 2017

Well then, 2017 was fantastic! Well, I mean, for popular music; in terms of anything else, 2017 was pretty horrible, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss. We’re here to discuss...

THE TOP TEN BEST HIT SONGS OF 2017

Yeah, it’s finally here – I wanted to really finalise my list before it was released so I kind of missed List Season entirely, but hopefully those extra weeks of working on these lists will be for the best. Now, throughout the last year, I’ve been more fascinated by and involved in the world of hip hop and rap music, including listening to artists such as Tyler, the Creator, BROCKHAMPTON and Anderson .Paak much more than I used to simply because the genre overall is much more easily enjoyable and accessible, even the more underground and alternative stuff. The reason for that is probably the dominance of urban music on the charts in 2017, with hip hop and R&B overthrowing rock as the most popular genre as of right now. This was expected for a while now, but it’s crazy how much hip hop and rap is more easily available now and especially insane how much hip hop and rap is on the charts now. I’m not really complaining for most of it – you’ll be seeing quite a lot of hip hop on this list – but the oversaturation of trap music, a brand of Southern hip hop, has really gotten on my nerves and honestly I’m starting to get sick of how anyone with ‘Lil’ in their name and lean in their cup can get a Top 40 hit nowadays, but that’s enough rambling and complaining! This is the best list, so let’s start things off positively and reveal the honourable mentions, because there’s a hell of a lot of them.

Honourable Mentions

These are ranked from how far they are from the list proper, furthest to closest. Let’s go!

XXXTENTACION – “Look at Me!”

I was tempted to put this on the list for the meme, but, nah, this sucks.

The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This” / Migos – “Bad and Boujee” featuring Lil Uzi Vert / French Montana – “Unforgettable” featuring Swae Lee / Cardi B – “Bodak Yellow” / The Chainsmokers – “Paris” / Justin Timberlake – “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”

I can’t decide if these songs are terrific or terrible. Other than that, I have nothing really to say about these other than I’m excited for Swaecation.

Adele – “Water under the Bridge”

I want to like this song.

DJ Khaled – “Wild Thoughts” featuring Rihanna and Bryson Tyler

I don’t want to like this song, but that groove is tight enough for me to forgive Bryson Tiller comparing sex to a cremation.

twenty one pilots – “Heathens”

I’ve yet to come to terms with the fact that I kinda like these guys.

Miley Cyrus – “Malibu”

This is the sweetest song of the year. Ew.

Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”

This was on the list at some point. Guess it couldn’t stay.

Also, yes, since I don’t have much to say about these songs, a lot of these reasons will just be puns.

21 Savage – “Bank Account” / Post Malone – “Rockstar” featuring 21 Savage

21 Savage has never bored me like he bores other people.

Sweeter than a Pop-Tart

The only reason “Rockstar” isn’t on this list is because of the Pop-Tart diss. How dare you!

Travis Scott – “Goosebumps” featuring Kendrick Lamar

God, Kendrick is terrible on this.

Demi Lovato – “Sorry Not Sorry”

I ain’t got no problem, got no problem with this.

Niall Horan – “Slow Hands”

Why does everyone hate this again? This is too cute for me to dislike, even if it does compare sex to laundry.

Shawn Mendes – “There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back”

Yeah, that guitar melody holds this back.

Rae Sremmurd – “Black Beatles” featuring Gucci Mane / Migos – “I Get the Bag” featuring Gucci Mane

Happy belated birthday, Gucci Mane.

Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee and Justin Bieber – “Despacito” (remix)

This is a really fun song, but it kind of bores me towards the end.

Big Sean – “Bounce Back”

Tragic irony.

The Weeknd – “I Feel it Coming”

This is one of the few times that a song is too repetitive for my taste.

Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”

Doo-wop-wop, shooby-doo-wop.

Charlie Puth – “Attention”

The ultimate battle between good and evil: bassline vs. falsetto.

Bruno Mars – “24K Magic” / Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”

Sorry, Bruno, you’re not #blessed enough.

Got to blame it on Jesus

Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”

I’m just not very good at talking about Kendrick, probably because if you hear his songs you’ll immediately know why I like them.

A Boogie wit da Hoodie – “Drowning” featuring Kodak Black

This nearly topped my list until I got sick of Kodak Black’s verse.

KYLE – “iSpy” featuring Lil Yachty / D.R.A.M. - “Broccoli” featuring Lil Yachty

These are fun but Lil Yachty exists, so they’re not on the list.

Touch my gang, we gon’ turn this s**t to Columbine

I hope KYLE and D.R.A.M. won’t end up as one-hit wonders, though they probably will be.

Ed Sheeran – “Castle on the Hill”

This is the only time you will see me endorsing Ed Sheeran because this song rocks. Too bad the rest of his output is cringeworthy or boring.

Harry Styles – “Sign of the Times”

We’re at the point where the only reason these songs didn’t make the list is because there were a few songs that were better. Exhibit A.

Playboi Carti – “Magnolia”

Consider this my honorary #11.

Charlie Puth – “How Long”

If this made the year-end, it would have been on the list.

Jason Derulo – “Tip Toe” featuring French Montana / CamelPhat and Elderbrook – “Cola”

These songs didn’t cross over to the US in time to be a hit, and that upsets me because these probably would have made the top five. Hell, I’m listening to “Cola” as I’m typing this.

N.E.R.D. – “Don’t Don’t Do It!” featuring Kendrick Lamar

This is my favourite single released this year overall. Tied with...

Tyler, the Creator - “Boredom” featuring Rex Orange County and Anna of the North

Lil Uzi Vert - “The Way Life Goes” featuring Oh Wonder and Nicki Minaj

Lorde - “Perfect Places”

Now to get to the actual list of ten—well, twelve—songs that I consider to be the best that American popular music had to offer throughout the year. Let’s start with #10.

#10

I have never heard a good Fifth Harmony song in my life, mostly because of how unappealing Camila was as a singer. I personally found her voice very squeaky and at times aggravating. Sure, artists improve over time, but when she went solo, I did not expect this big of an improvement.

#10 – Camila Cabello – “Havana” featuring Young Thug

This took me by surprise when I first heard it because it is so smooth despite its blending of many popular genres, including jazz-influenced piano and Latin percussion that despite classic influences, still feels incredibly fresh, especially in today’s pop climate. What I love most about the song apart from the obvious which I’ll talk about later is actually the lyrics and the performers, especially Young Thug. Camila is the main star, obviously, with her almost sassy performance, but the lyrics she’s singing contrast that swagger completely, and are about a boy who seemingly doesn’t care about her when they initially meet, with a careless stride into the club Camila’s in and a chessy pick-up line along the way which, of course, he says to all the other girls. A Joey Tribbiani reference starts Camila’s verse, and if you mention Friends, I’m pretty sure you get on this list automatically.

I’m doin’ forever in a minute (that Summer night in June) / And poppa says he got malo in him

Camila uses the Spanish word “malo”, meaning “bad”, describing Young Thug as a typical bad boy. That pre-chorus is also one of the catchiest moments in the top ten right now.

And he got me feeling like (ooh)

Camila’s great but Young Thug, however, is a genius. You know how guest rap verses usually talk about something completely unrelated, usually just bragging about all the typical rap subjects? Well, somehow Young Thug both does exactly that and subverts it at the same time. For the first part of his verse, he gives us more detail about who this bad boy is and reveals his name, Jeffery – Young Thug’s real name. Talking from the perspective of Jeffery (or himself), he details how he just graduated from college, where he was “fresh on campus”, to brag to Camila about his perceived “coolness”, for lack of a better word. He continues to brag and talk about how he’s a bad boy, paying prostitutes like Uncle Sam – yes, that is the similie he uses – until he starts to talk about the sex that Jeffrey and Camila supposedly had, describing it with several food metaphors, even proclaiming that it’s “history in the making”, shredding his bad boy persona and revealing glimpses of hope to raise a child and settle down. He then hilariously retracts his statement, going back to Jeffery bragging, showing how Jeffery’s fear of getting too close has really left Camila’s heart in Havana.

This is history in the makin’ on me / Point blank, close range, that be / If it cost a million, that’s me

He ends his verse by begging Camila and trying to reason with her, but his persona has clouded his mind.

I was gettin’ mula, baby!

What makes this even better is that this verse both fits into the story and is a throwaway rap verse about himself. Young Thug is a genius.

Also, it has a saxophone solo, which obviously makes it God-tier in my books. Fantastic song.#

Havana, ooh, na-na

Let me make this clear: not every section will be as long as #10, but I had a lot of lyrical stuff I wanted to talk about for that song, so I did my best to keep it kind of concise while I explained why I love it. Most of these songs, however, I enjoy purely based on a musical standpoint and what better way to demonstrate this other than a song about what I assume is hipster nonsense.

#9 – Portugal. The Man – “Feel it Still”

This year was full of two things: stilted trap rap and funky-as-hell grooves. This is probably the funkiest and grooviest song out of the bunch, but it’s also psychedelic and eerie, creating a beautiful contrast between the percussion that sounds fitting in a disco or energetic soul track and the creeping bass and the jumpscare-worthy horns, as well as the fantastically creepy falsetto vocals performed by this indie rock band’s frontman, John Gourley, as well as the deep and reverb-effected vocals from the other members of the band, specifically the repetition of “is it coming?” just to lead to a non-climax; the feeling is still. The dial-up phone sounds during the first verse are also pretty clever and work with the “is it coming?” theme excellently as well. It feels like it’s right behind you and you’re constantly afraid of it, but it never comes. For a song that’s actually about wanting life to be peaceful like it supposedly was in the 1960s and 1980s again, it musically represents paranoia brilliantly. This psychedelic pop tune will be in my rotation for years to come.

Yeah, I don’t have much to talk about for this one so I suppose we’ll just jump right into it.

#8 – Khalid – “Young, Dumb & Broke”

Khalid as a vocalist is one of the best newcomers to the pop world, and for someone with such a mature smooth soulful vocal, you wouldn’t expect him to have had his 20th birthday just a few days ago. Despite that, his first big single “Location” didn’t work for me, I suppose it just felt too minimalistic and slightly drab, somewhat dull in fact. His follow-up, however, is an R&B jam about reminiscing on when he was a young, dumb and broke high-school kid that just clicks with me. Maybe it’s the chill trap-hinting production, maybe it’s the catchy vocalisation in the post-chorus, maybe it’s Khalid himself, but I’m not entirely sure. This just really clicks with me on a level I didn’t really think it could, and I don’t have much reason for it either, but for an incredibly basic song like this I don’t think it’s necessary. It’s just a solid jam you should definitely check out.

Who can relate? Whoo!

#7 – Post Malone – “Congratulations” featuring Quavo

That meme of a quote from Logic pretty much sums up why I like this song. It’s relatable to a degree where everyone can relate to it (whoo), because it’s just about having a small achievement in your life, and being happy that you accomplished it. It’s an anthem for people overcoming milestones in their life that mean more to them than it does to anyone else. Post mentions being on TV, which gets you some level of fame overall and gives you recognition, but the only people that truly notice and take it to heart are you and your closest friends and family.

My mama called, “seen you on TV, son” / Said, “s**t done changed ever since I was young”

Nothing has really changed at all, but to Postman Malone and his family, it means the world. It’s also an anthem for dismissing your haters – the main obstacle for anyone to get ahead – but maybe they’re not typical or conventional “haters”.

I dreamed it all ever since I was young / They said I wouldn’t be nothing, now they always say, “Congratulations!” (yeah)

He says “they” but he doesn’t specify, leading me to believe he’s talking about the voices in his head and his self-esteem pushing him down. What leads me to this theory, though? Huncho Houdini himself, Quavo. Do you notice that in the verse and the chorus, both Post Malone and Quavo have faint repetitions of “yeah”? Those are the voices that Post is being kept down by. In Post’s verse he even mentions what the voices have to say.

I know I sound dramatic, yeah

But he’s still determined.

But I knew I had to have it, yeah

Quavo, in his verse, portrays Post’s mindset and how all over the place is thoughts are: reminiscing on graduation...

Young n***a, young n***a, graduation

Attempting to find some energy and buzz to do something...

I pick up the rock and I ball, baby

...but he can’t. He tries to get help from out of this rut but he just can’t pick up the phone.

I’m looking for someone to call, baby / But right now, I got a situation

He later drops this beautiful line, wrapping everything up in one sentence.

My life is like a ball game

But in the end, despite everything all collapsing, Post gets through the struggle and reigns on top.

If you f**k with winnin’, put your lighters to the sky

Come on, who doesn’t f**k with winning?

#6 / #5

Hey, look, two consecutive Maroon 5 songs! God, there goes my dignity.

#6 – Maroon 5 – “Cold” featuring Future

#5 – Maroon 5 – “What Lovers Do” featuring SZA

I know everyone hates these songs but too bad, they’re awesome and also polar opposites.

“Cold” is a loose, dark tropical house track where Adam’s screeching vocals stand out as not a negative but a positive, being the only possible release of his anger and confusion against the muted bass in the verse, before the explosion of the chorus, where Adam outright asks his girlfriend, “why have you been so cold?” He shouts desperately, not worried but distressed and confused, in a state of isolation almost, until he finds a friend who can relate (whoo) in the form of Future. The whole song is a spill of Adam and Future’s emotions towards this woman, and it works beautifully in the tropical instrumentation. My favourite line is from Future:

So cold; this colder

The girl’s so cold that Future is cracking up a cold one with... himself.

“What Lovers Do”, however, is a tight funky synthpop track that focuses on Adam and SZA trying to do what lovers do, trying to be close but can’t. It’s not one-sided anymore, hence the instrumentation is much less natural and more stiff, because it’s not one man screaming at a wall, it’s a couple screaming at each other. Sonically, both of these songs are very fun, free songs with “What Lovers Do” having a tight groove and “Cold” feeling sparsely empty in its instrumentation but has a driving kick to it that shows Adam’s uncertainty. If you slander these songs, you can shut right up. Maroon 5 has never failed to delight.

I don’t wanna know, know, know, know

Oh, hey, ha, hey. I’ll be seeing you on my worst list.

No more, please stop

There’s three very predictable choices for the near-top of this list, and here’s probably the most predictable one.

#4 – Childish Gambino – “Redbone”

Have you ever just loved a song so much because everything works? Everything is so beautifully meshed together that it’s almost too perfect.

Well, that is not what happened here at all because I shouldn’t like this as much as I do, and nothing works about it. The bass is too overwhelming, especially in the pre-chorus, sounding very sludgy for that whole passage, also, Childish Gambino’s falsetto is grating to the point it makes me want to eat some Red Leicester, but you can never deny that melody that started the meme that created – or at least developed - the surge of popularity for this excellently-composed track. I think its imperfections are why I love it, it sounds clunky and at times drags on too much but it fits in perfect with Gambino, who is vocally all over the wall, with a weak murmur in the verse, and a powerful screech in the final chorus. Despite being out for more than a year now, this hasn’t grown on me, this has just become more and more interesting and mind-boggling that it became a hit. It’s strange but so is 2017, which leads me to the reason I have this song so high. It represents 2017 extremely well – everything is strange, new and worrying, especially with Trump in office and the current political climate.

What? You think he wasn’t gonna be on the list at all?

#3 – Kendrick Lamar – “DNA.”

Kendrick talks about racial, social and political issues a lot, and honestly, I couldn’t care less about what he brings up because his flow, punchlines, bars and especially production are all killer. This applies to this song more than any other Kendrick song I’ve heard. The stuttering trap production from Mike WiLL Made It brings more power to Kendrick’s first verse where he raps repetitively about what he has in his DNA or in his blood, stuff he’s dealt with so much it’s just natural for him. It is a hyped banger for its first minute and a half or so, before it switches to Geraldo Riviera being sampled stating that he believes hip hop music has damaged African-American youth culture, until Kendrick absolutely rips him apart in the second verse as the beat switches to a more gloomy and complex beat.

My DNA not for imitation / Your DNA an abomination

In this fantastic verse, he talks about the typical lyrical subjects Geraldo Riviera thinks hip hop is only about, and sarcastically glamorises them, saying sex, money and murder are what Riviera thinks are in his DNA. These verses from different perspectives make up and incredibly pumped-up track that is just excellent in every which way. Love it.

And now for our only tie, both songs by two artists who have a hit-and-miss track record and one artist I absolutely love. Drank.

#2 – Jason Derulo – “Swalla” featuring Ty Dolla $ign and Nicki Minaj / Calvin Harris – “Slide” featuring Frank Ocean and Migos (Offset and Quavo)

Both of these songs are here not because of any deep lyrical meaning or any beautiful mesh of instrumentation or its elements, they’re here because of peer enjoyment. They also both have some of my personal favourite elements of music overall, just stuff that tickles my fancy more than anything objectively great. The simple melody of the synth in “Slide”, as well as the brilliant synth-solo in “Swalla” in the post-chorus, which I have grown to absolutely love and herald as the best moment in pop music this year, maybe tied with the start of Offset’s verse in “Slide”.

(Offset!) Good gracious! / Staring at my diamonds while I’m hopping out the spaceship

Everyone’s favourite homophobic hip hop duo, Offset and Quavo, provide verses on “Slide”, with Quavo’s being more of a transition and bridge from the moody slow drone of Frank Ocean’s lead vocal to Offset’s energetic verse, which proves him as more than a trap rapper, who can star on a disco song and steal the limelight from one of the best R&B singers of the past few years. They also provide great quotables.

Mama too hot like a (like a what?) / Mama too hot like a furnace (furnace)

B****es be dippin’, dancin’ with n***as like a nacho

Like a nacho? Huh?

The song itself is about someone who just wants to enter a richer man’s life, but also about a Picasso painting.

I might empty my bank account / And buy that boy with a pipe

I don’t know, and I don’t care because this song rules, as does “Swalla”, with Jason’s vocals fleeting over the upbeat instrumental, right before the excellent drum fill, which is more of a breakdown than anything, but not just a drum breakdown – a breakdown in sanity and a crazy moment in this party that doesn’t feel full until this insane drum fill, which fits perfectly with Ty Dolla $ign’s verse, but the true star here is Nicki.

Bad girl, no swalla nuttin’, word to young Dalai Lama

Her verse is fire, nothing else to say, truly one of the best verses she’s ever written.

Bless her heart, she throwing shots, but every line sucks

Let’s be fair, Remy Ma, you got bodied on not one but two hit singles. You’ve lost. Overall, two flabbergastingly great tracks.

But they’re still not the best hit songs of 2017.

I may be breaking rules here but nonetheless, I believe this was the best hit song of 2017.

#1 – Lorde – “Green Light”

Nah, just kidding, it’s the joke song about the girl with the thicc booty.

#1 – Aminé –“Caroline”

The reason I do Reviewing the Charts and the reason I’m making this list is partially to analyse, review, talk about and share my opinion on pop music and culture, but what I really attempt to do is make you laugh, make you entertained, because that’s what we all want, right? At our very core, we want entertainment, and I don’t think any song this year is more entertaining than this.

Bad thing (s**t), fine as hell (whoa), thick as f**k

Over the beat that blends trap and old-school hip-hop synths pretty greatly, Aminé throws some lighthearted shade as he comically condemns one of rap’s longest-surviving lyrical mainstay, loving a woman only for her appearance, as he over exaggerates how careless he is for this woman to hilarious proportions.

Caroline, listen up / Don’t wanna hear about your horoscope / Or what the future holds / Just shut up and shut up and let’s get gory

There are some incredible quotables here as well, like this...

Holy s**t, I’m really lit

...and my personal favourite lyric of the year.

You say I’m a tall thug, guess I’m a G-raffe

That is the corniest yet also most outstanding pun I’ve ever heard a rapper spit.

If you want safe sex, baby, use the knee pads

Aminé manipulates his voice in some of the most interesting ways a pop-rapper has, and sounds great, especially when he’s singing on the chorus and then immediately goes to rapping about the girl again, like going from Ray Charles to Ying Yang Twins, or Ne-Yo to Ray William Johnson.

The reason this is on the list isn’t just because it’s funny, no, it’s because of his performance on the Tonight Show.

9/11, a day that we’re never forgetting / 11/9, a day that we’re never regretting / If my president is Trump, then it’s relevant enough / To talk ‘bout it on TV and not give a (f**k) / I’m black, and I’m proud / My skin is brown, and I’m loud

The outro of his performance is one of the best uses of someone’s platform to speak out against Trump I’ve ever seen. Nobody expects the one-hit wonder who eats a bunch of bananas in his music video to be talking about this, and to use his fifteen minutes to spread the word to millions of people on The Tonight Show is a very smart decision to use your fame. Make a difference before you fizzle out, or you’ll burn away without changing anyone’s life, without affecting anyone, which is the whole point of entertainment and art, to make a change in someone’s life who enjoys the music, or the films, or the art. It’s better that Aminé leaves his career as a one-hit wonder because I cannot imagine any better way to leave than this. Aminé, you’re divine, and your song is mighty fine. I’m out!

You can never make America great again / All you ever did was make this country hate again.

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