#you don't need to read this

[aerodaltonimperial]

I believe that everyone should evaluate relationships when those relationships are not working for them any longer, and that means it's one of those times that I have to do the same for myself in fandom, so.

As a caveat, I have a really fraught relationship with writing. If you've followed me for awhile you've probably started to put the pieces together, but yes, I do try to do it professionally, and no, it's not going well. Like, at all. Like, I'm actually really bad at it. Fantastically, laughably bad at it. And I've been trying to be successful for well over a decade, and at this point, fic is the only positive association I've got with writing at all. So my involvement in fandom is already colored by my failures outside of fandom, and it sucks that all of that ends up bleeding into this. But those failures are, unfortunately, huge, and equally unfortunately, massive issues inside my self-confidence.

But I genuinely love being part of fandom. I've been in fandoms since I was 14 years old, for about 25 years of my life. I love being a part of the fandom environment, and I love the interaction, and I love the enthusiasm and flailing and just adoring whatever the source material is. Fandom is, honestly, one of the biggest things in my life, and it has been since I was a teenager, and I don't see that changing any time soon. And typically, I give 150% in fandom! I LOVE being part of it and creating things, and that's just something I've always loved doing, always used my time on. I know that I cultivate kind of a reputation of being CAPSLOCKY and flaily and just very excited about stuff and that's awesome, I love that I get to be so unfiltered and myself in fandom spaces because I feel like I always have to temper myself down in the "real world!"

But. I just don't think I can be the same in fandom any longer, not like this. I've been burned by people I thought were friends, and it's starting to feel like a very unequal distribution of enthusiasm, and I've got a full-time job and a young kid and I already have very little time for myself. It starts to feel really shitty when I'm giving so much of that time and it's just no longer coming back. And this is fine! Fandom ebbs and flows and that's just life; that's the nature of following something that involves real people, you know? Haha, things change and the source material shifts, and that's how it works. But I also know myself and my relationship with writing and self-confidence, and I know enough to know I can't keep doing this. When I start crying about fandom, it's time to step back. When fandom feels like throwing my time and love and energy into a black hole, it's time to step back. It's not good for my mental health any longer. I get too much silence and failure in real life, the last thing I need is to heap more on myself.

Again, this isn't anyone's fault! It's the nature of the beast. I brought a lot of this on myself by stepping away from half of the pairing that I really spearheaded in this fandom, and I'll own that. I don't regret that, even though that was when a lot of people also stepped away from me. And it's like, that's cool. I'm not making what you want any longer, and that content was what I was good for. But it's time for me to start conserving my energy as best I can, because I am still trying to (stupidly, fruitlessly) be successful in real life aspects of this dumb word-making hobby. So if you no longer see me showing up with silly capslock and excitement on your stuff, I'm sorry. I know that people liked it, and I was happy to give it out when I could. I'm happy with how I contributed to fandom during the boom, and I'm happy with who I was in the fandom. I'm still here, still watching, still obsessed, but I'm really stepping away from the creation/interaction side.

And maybe I'll feel better and start writing again and maybe I won't, and that's okay, too. I just didn't want people to think that I hated them or what they were creating because I'm not sliding into comments the way I used to. 💚 Anyway. Been quite a ride. I guess at the end of the day, I hope that I wrote something that you really liked, and that I was able to make you feel really warm and happy inside if you also wrote fic or made art. That's the impression I'd like to leave on people. 💚

#you don't need to read this #but i think it's been a long time coming

[bringbackgoth]

This is a personal rant about my dead dog and strangers judging her, I just need to rant about it so no need to read ♥♥♥ I just have to get my feelings out.

There's always That One Guy that simply has to preach their bullshit whenever they see something they are a snob about.

The very lovely, fantastic, kind taxidermist who is processing Cosima for me posted some photos in a FB group I'm a part of. I gave her permission to do this and she only posted pictures of her paws, muzzle, and other very tame/not graphic photos of her.

however….

someone decided that it was a good idea to bash how long her nails were….

So when the taxidermist posted these photos in the group…

I can't even imagine being this fucking obtuse or uncaring. The fucking audacity of a complete stranger to just platform their shit while shaming my fucking DEAD DOG for her long nails.. how fucking dare you?

You can see by the timestamps that his happened a while ago, but I'm still so upset by it. Imagine having this kind of audacity.

anyways if you've come this far then I appreciate you. I hope to have her back soon.

#extremely personal #personal #you don't need to read this #I just need to scream into the void #venting #to delete later

[starbeambully]

So I'm very in my feelings about my gender today. I'll stick what I'm thinking about today under the cut. Also I'm not feeling sad, just kinda... huh??? Idk, feelings.

My first job was as a front desk clerk at a motel and every man who wanted to check in would make some comment about me. "oh your so pretty" "All the boys must be chasing you" "If I were a younger man..." And like for the most part it was something I could handle but there were occasions that I had men. Grown men look at me, a fresh faced 18 year old girl and make some very lewd comments... one time I was asked to go drink beers in some guy's truck. Needless to say, I did eventually quit that job.

Then when I started working in restaurants I started as a server. I did not want to be a server, I applied for prep cook, but the manager looked me in the eye and said "Your such a pretty girl, and pretty girls are servers." I left that job pretty quick and cut my hair, I stopped wearing make up and started presenting outwardly more masculine. It didn't really help, I was still being overlooked for promotions and told I was "too pretty to be working back of house" and I was miserable. I just did not want to be perceived as a woman. Not to mention my last boyfriend told me I was "Trophy wife material" and in essence that my thoughts and feelings didn't matter.

It honestly wasn't until I got into art school at 25, by extension therapy, that I started started to feel more seen and more comfortable as myself. I started getting into vintage fashion and learning how to make my own clothing and now I dress so feminine, but I feel happier and safer in my gender. Like I wear petticoats and stays on the days I feel I need more privacy, they hide me in a way that I need sometimes.... Idk guys. I'm just feeling a sort of way about myself and my gender. I'm so happy to be what I am in the way that I am.

#ooc #you don't need to read this #i'm just rambling

[sir-quackcelot]

My horribly written childhood novella: Chapter One.

First, before we get into it, yall need some info. There are for cla- I mean *sides* that are called the compass rose territories. (North, South, east, west) then there is Cloud Side which is like Starclan and the Outlands (hell).

Tieglons or however I spelled it are the creatures. They're tigers with fur patterns of house cats and dragon wings.

Yeah. Anyway, here's chapter one because I refuse to sully my AO3 with this monstrosity. And yes, I left in all typos and grammar mistakes.

-----

Long ago, Cloud Side saw that the evil in Terollek was growing too great. Seineighar was planning to take over the territories, and there were many wars and bloodshed. So Zarland and his mate, Xenlya made a prophecy. One that was so great in fact that when the ones that fulfilled it, would become the next Great Leaders. The prophecy was called The Five. The prophecy took motion when I was born. My name is Sassen. I will tell you the story of how The Five destroyed the Great Evil and became the five Great Leaders.

I was born in North Side territory with my two sisters, Cinthay and Veacie, and my one brother Bleuthen. I was the youngest of all of them. Cinthay and Bleuthen mocked me a lot and tossed me around because I was so small and not very strong.  Veacie however, would stand up for me and had no problem telling on them. Veacie was the oldest. But, when she wasn’t looking, Cinthay would push me around and use me as a claw sharpener. But, either mother or Veacie would find out and Cinthay would be looking for wasp nests in the dens with her nose. Cinthay knew she wasn’t supposed to play rough like that with me but it never stopped her. As the years went on we got older and became soldiers. When Cinthay became a soldier she thought she could do anything she wanted like, sleep whenever she was tired, eat whenever she was hungry. At first, it wasn’t that bad. Then it got to the point where she would only go on border and hunting patrols when she wanted to. Then she started threatening other tigelons that if they started bossing her around, she would kill them. Now she went too far. Makawna, the leader of North Side told mother to have a conversation with Cinthay to get her to stop. At first it went okay, and then it turned into an argument and then a shouting contest. Then all of a sudden, the shouting stopped. Veacie, Bleuthen, and I peeked through the bushes and saw Cinthay standing over a dead body.

“Cinthay, what did you do!?” Veacie cried. “You killed her!” Cinthay look up at us. Her eyes flashed with anger.                                                                                       

“Anyone who tries to control me will never live to regret it,” Cinthay replied. 

That night Cinthay was ban from the territory and was given the Scar of Betrayal. I never forgave her. Shortly after that we got news that our father was assassinated in war, Bleuthen left North Side to look for Cinthay. Veacie and I left as well. We went to West Side, where the leader, Blackartharen welcomed us with open arms, since he had very few soldiers after the war. We got along with everyone very well. But there was something about that Blackartharen that puzzled me. He seemed to be, well, afraid of me. That night I couldn't sleep. I decided to take a walk. As I was leaving camp, I passed the leaders den. Blackartharen was talking with some of his commanding officers. I kept walking until I heard them mention a familiar name: Kateahar! He was my father. I silently crept closer. “Does she know?” one of them said.                                

“I don’t know,” Blackartharen answered.                       

“Then we must drive her out!” another one hissed. “If she doesn’t know the better. Then she won’t come back.”     

“What about her sister? We would need to get rid of her as well,” the first one said.                                          “No!” Blackartharen growled. He sighed. “They may stay here. I know the law. If they find out, I’m ready for it. I’m not a coward like some,” Blackartharen hissed and looked over at the first tigelon to speak. He shied away from his cold gaze.

  “But Blackartharen-” the first one started to object. Blackartharen silenced her. “It is done. You may leave,” He told them. I flew off out of camp and landed just far enough away so I wouldn’t be detected by the guards. What was that about? I tried to put the pieces together. Wait a minute, the law, do I know, being driven out, my father. Blackartharen killed my father! I started to bubble with anger. When he died, I swore to follow the law and avenge my father. Tomorrow will be the last day Blackartharen will ever see! I silently stalked back to my den and tried to sleep. 

#writing #Cringe #cringe posting #Childhood writing #first writing #it's totally a warrior cats fan fic with weird cats with wings but i swore it wasn't when i was a kid #warrior cats fanfic #You don't need to read this #Don't laugh I started this thing when I was 9 years old #What are these names

[rtnortherly]

Loke Talk and Many Many Tangents, Don't Look at Me

Thinking about Magister Jace Loke again. I seem to voice all the Thoughts I have about him and my Godwoken, Arboren, on Twitter of all places. But this is going to be longer because I'm feeling inclined to rambling and can't be bothered to edit myself. Also I'm spewing this on here because I don't want to have to see, in person, anyone roll their eyes or blatantly ignore me as I go on about my nonsense (fair) for the millionth time in a row. For clarity, I'm currently working on one of my many AU ideas in which Loke appears and encounters Arboren. Typically in my head that happens under similar circumstances as they do in game because I am a sucker for the whole 'fate, but in different realities so some things are the same, but some things are changed' trope. Probably because the general inevitability of it can be great grounds for either tragedy, or a certain bittersweet vibe, depending on my mood (I never truly write tragedies. There's enough of that to go around, and they may have their value, but I like my happy endings).

In my flower shop AU Loke works for a private paramilitary organization that is employed by a megalithic, religious corporation (most of them seem to end up that way at their worst, and I'm calling it what it is in this case for clarity) which is scrubbing the world for historic artifacts of magic significance. In the transport of one such magic artifact Loke suffers traumatic brain injury due to a concussive blast which damages optical functions (as it turns out, people rightly take issue with you pilfering historical and cultural artifacts from their homes). While he is in recovery (and waiting a larger surgery which should repair the damage) he misses the funerals of his fellow comrades and when he does finally get the chance to show his respects, he goes to purchase flowers as is customary. It is here he encounters Arboren. Arboren is running a flower shop called Good Intentions (homage to my angsty as all heck fanfic by the same name) and is a refugee in the city (I think I called it Port Joy because I have no shame), escaping from the destruction of his homelands which are being invaded by a terrorist state which unlawfully used chemical warfare in their assault upon said elven homelands. There's other stuff going on, like the fact that Arboren was charged with the care of the flower shop by an eccentric who has decided to retire and go wandering around the world and other places, that there is a shape shifting shop clerk called Q who helps out around the place, and endemic necromancy problem going on in the background etc etc, but that's the main of it as far as I have considered so far.

The AU I am working on right now is a mermaid AU because it's almost May and if you're on the internet at all you probably know that a lot of artists go wild about mermaids in May. Also for personal reasons I am spiritually bound to love ocean related things. I've officially called it Good Intentions: Sword and Scale. And I say officially because I've gone off the deep end (heh) and started to draw it as a SHORT comic. I'm hoping to being posting in what I am startled and alarmed to find is only 40 days. I'll probably go into more detail about the plan for that as the time approaches (its not a big deal or as serious as I make it sound, its literally just a fan comic, I'm just nervous and excited and get even more verbose than usual when I am). Loke finds himself aboard a vessel, returning home as a member of an army which has concluded a crusade and is laden down with all sorts of spoils of war, including a particularly rare and powerful gemstone (I imagine you can see the through line here). Unfortunately, what none aboard the ship are aware is that the stone was kept on land for a reason, and by bringing it out to open waters once again they unwittingly awaken an ancient sea creature. I won't go into too much detail, since I want to save that for the comic (lower your expectations--I'm working very hard to keep this comic thing Short. Literally, my goal is for it to be done by the time May ends), but the plot is pretty basic: mermaid encounters victim of ship wreck and decides to be nosey.

I've gone on a mega ramble here, given that my original intention was to say that I was reviewing Loke's dialogue (thank you awonderfulaverage) and it got me thinking about the Thing With Loke. The thing with Loke is actually a lot of things and I won't even guarantee that I'm going to be concise, or wholly accurate (my brain refuses to differentiate between canon and fan fiction and also just that one errant thought you had while standing in line at the grocery store or something idk).

First of all its the way he literally trips into your arms, and then stands there, apparently taking comfort in the contact and then asks you for reassurance (even if there isn't really any to give) about his injury. DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE HAS POTENTIALLY ALREADY OUTED YOU AS BOTH A LIAR AND A SOURCERER AND AN ESCAPEE (fun fact: Arboren is actually my second play through. I created him in case my sibling wanted to play with me and then I got Attached. In my first play through I was playing Remry, an Undead pirate who lied through his teeth and sent Loke back to the Fort. Never finished that run. Didn't even get off the island. Blame Arboren.) I think the vulnerability of that really struck me. Also it made me decide that Loke's love language is probably physical touch. And when I talk about love language I really do mean more than just romantically. In my head love languages are ways of fostering/showing/whatever emotional connection between other people (hey, I've done negligible research into this and have basically only heard of love languages through other people and also internet quizzes which notoriously don't mean much). I think that in his most vulnerable and terrified the fact that Loke tried to absorb reassurance through the touch of someone else who, as far as he is aware and believes, is a dangerous element says a lot about him. And because of everything that has been done to the elves, and their community and how much has been taken from them, its really no wonder in my head that for all his righteous indignation towards a Magister, Arboren (elven godwoken) would immediately feel something towards this person. I won't say romance because I love me a slow burn and can't really wrap my head around love at first sight (attraction maybe I guess depending on who you are and how that works for you). But I think Arboren is someone who is seeking to fill the hole left by the way his community has been so horrifically and violently ripped away from him (something which is true in the flower shop AU too, but not in the mermaid one, so we will see a more lighthearted Arboren with more space for kindness that he doesn't question in himself). But at least a sort of softness, a sort of immediate desire to reciprocate that connection. And even though in this play through I could hardly see Arboren just handing himself over to get cuffed again (regardless of how that would have ended), I felt absolutely sure that the encounter had a lasting emotional impact on him (he just walks away from Loke, leaving him alone in the undergrowth... I sent the character with the highest speech back alone and did convince Loke to go home though). Hence the fan fiction where I force them to keep meeting because hrng its just so good (yay, I have an idea for a fourth encounter, off of Reapers Eye-I'm just saying, what if Loke decided to help Paladin Cork, and then they were 'politely' sent off the island for sticking their noses where they don't belong. Canonically the PC can run into Cork again. I think it'd work. Actually this is kind of the premise of the drawing I did with the flowers. If anyone knows what I'm talking about. I just want Arboren and Loke to sit by the riverside and chat and you know. Sunshine and willow trees and quiet and relative normalcy. I think it's a good story beat in the over arching narrative of Terror and Bad).

The other thing (no, I'm not done yet and maybe I never will be) is how the whole "I'll never forget you" thing goes. Like. Honestly. They could have just said "I'll never forget this" at each other or something. Because, inherently, it's the situation you'd think was the most significant, what with the horrible undead being violent and bad and the action of fighting side by side, despite supposedly being enemies. 'I'll never forget this' would have been dramatic enough. But no, what leaves an impression on either of them is the other. "I'll never forget you. And if I remember correctly, the PC says it first after Loke says "Get out of here. We never met. No one has to know." (As if trying to convince himself. Because he still thinks that by doing this he is doing something wrong, because he still does think the PC is dangerous. Dangerous but maybe not deserving of Fort joy, which he must surely see isn't great. And I don't blame him for his ignorance. Loke reads as just some regular Joe, and was probably pretty young when he joined up, and we all know what propaganda and systematic conditioning can do to people. Like. My dude's in a cult. People go through careful deconditioning when escaping cults. One conversation amidst a newly inflicted, completely fresh, blood still drying injury that has taken away one of his senses and the loss of a bunch of people he knew isn't going to undo that, no way, no how). But then Loke reciprocates. And I think that is important. It might seem on the surface rather obvious that the PC will remember the one Magister who lets them go (there might be others but Loke obliterated them from my mind). However I think it says a lot that Loke returns that. Well. If I'd gone against a law and committed a crime by letting a wanted felon go I'd probably remember that too, but I wouldn't necessarily say it back to them. Reciprocating a sentiment out loud, back to a person, takes a different level of emotion I think. And it didn't read as a "wow, yeah, this has been terrible, let's never do this again because it sucked' kind of "I'll never forget you". It felt very sincere. Like Loke was honestly going to dwell on this moment, and it was probably going to be quite pivotal in how he approaches things from here on out.

I don't know what the future might look like for him. In my head the tide carries him into Arboren's path once more, but it's hardly as if every player has such ridiculously intense thoughts on this random NPC. And I don't think it's true that this is how things go down for every encounter of him, regardless of what form and history the PC takes. This is just the brain spew that's been building up in my head that needed somewhere to go. In summary: Loke seeks connection in dark moments and my boy Arboren does the same. They actively share a certain level of vulnerability with each other in an unideal circumstance and it gave me the brain rot. If you made it this far: How? Why? I'm sorry?

EDIT: Spelling because why.

#you don't need to read this #I've just gone a little unhinged is all #Loke #Magister Loke #Jace Loke #my fan fiction is Good Intentions on ff.net if you want #maybe I should post it on here #I dunno #rt out here dumping entire brain on a post and then tossing it at you irreverent of consequences

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[moonsidesong]

don't panic buy games because of the eshop shutdown!!!! the memes are not lying It is genuinely very easy to hack your 3ds!!! please do it!!!!

3ds.hacks.guide

(don't follow video guides they are very often outdated and it's easier to make mistakes that way. this guide is very detailed with step by step instructions and they even have a support server in the event you have any trouble! i understand it might seem intimidating but risks of bricking or banning are very minimal at this point you will be glad you did it)

#bri talks #the only tools you'll need is a computer and a way to read mini sd cards #if you have the New Nintendo 3DS XL model you're also gonna need a certain screwdriver to open the back plate #because for some reason ninty put it there #any other model has easy sd card access so if you have a regular 3ds/xl/any 2ds model you don't need that #i have NO idea why they put it there it's not like they're even against you using a different sd card #there's instructions to change it on nintendo support... like...

[palmtreecorner]

.

#textposts #just venting bc i need to blurt everything out somewhere #you don't need to read this #I think i've reached my limit #there's no room in my heart and it becomes heavier by the day #I feel like a failure #my energies are nowhere to be found #the relationship between my parents it is so strained #it makes me reevaluate everytime if i should try to go abroad #all the hate crimes going on #seeing people close to me suffer #the fact that i feel lonely as ever #the working and living situation in italy #the recent news of violated and molested girls and women #the fact that men don't seem to care #my doubts about everything #the wish to be close to my partner #sometimes feeling incredibly disconnected

[originalartblog]

Apparently much-needed reminder that reposting artists' art (by saving the images or screenshotting them and reuploading them yourself) on other platforms without the artists' expressed permission and without credit is theft and an insult to their passion and craft. You are profiting (in views, in attention, in feedback) from someone else's work and ideas, who do not get that feedback for sharing their creation.

If you are an art reposter, you are a thief and I have no respect for you.

#learn basic internet etiquette i am begging but also holding a knife. yes i'm mad. more about others than myself. #do you know how many artists i have seen leave social media because their art started being reposted all over? #tip: way too fucking many #i've had many people tell me about people reposting my art on tiktok #no one ever asked to repost my art on tiktok. ever. they just save super fried bad crunchy jpegs of my art and repost them #they get 20k likes and don't even bother naming me #also a reason i started signing my name more legibly and why my blog web address is always there but apparently no one can even read that #a few people got an ok for translations on other platforms though #i'm going to be annoying with this post and reblog it a few times to try to catch the people who apparently need to be told #tiny skk adventures #nawy's comics #nawy's doodles #apparently those are reposters' favourites so here look at this

[biomechabird]

Despite everything, it's still you.

#kieran #pokemon #sorry i know this is badly formatted but i only really made it for personal reasons but then thought hey maybe someone else might need this #yes im sorry the first image having a different outfit bugs me so much but it's the only one i had in my screenshots with that expression #why am i even saying sorry JUST TAKE THIS IF YOU LIKE IT and if you don't... bye #hello if you're reading the tags

[stil-lindigo]

the machine.

a comic about being a 'creator' online.

creative notes:

#in light of recent online 'success' i feel like this may come off as ungrateful #just wanna say that all the comics i make in this series are written about experiences i felt in 2022 #which was a rough year personally and creatively #and i very luckily don't feel this way anymore #and this also isnt to shame anyone who DOES feel this way #its easy to start to feel like all you are is a vending machine of art #and like thats all you are to people #theres nothing human to you #it can be a bit of a pit #and on some level this damage is self inflicted but social media really doesnt help that feeling #this wont work for everyone but having friends around you who you can talk to about stuff that ISNT art #going outside for dinner #maybe walking around #its good for when you need that feeling to go away even a bit temporarily #youre a human being #not a mindless content creation machine #and i hope anyone who feels like this now can get to a place where they have a healthier relationship with their own work #good luck to all of you #and thank you for reading #comic art #its 10pm #stillindigo art

[shiveringnosferatu]

I’ve changed a lot over the past few years. For the better, in many ways, but at the cost of now being constantly aware that I had wasted my time on stupid things and am now years behind others on important things. 

#you don't need to read this

[5ummit]

AO3 Ship Stats: Year In Bad Data

You may have seen this AO3 Year In Review.

It hasn’t crossed my tumblr dash but it sure is circulating on twitter with 3.5M views, 10K likes, 17K retweets and counting. Normally this would be great! I love data and charts and comparisons!

Except this data is GARBAGE and belongs in the TRASH.

I first noticed something fishy when I realized that Steve/Bucky – the 5th largest ship on AO3 by total fic count – wasn’t on this Top 100 list anywhere. I know Marvel’s popularity has fallen in recent years, but not that much. Especially considering some of the other ships that made it on the list. You mean to tell me a femslash HP ship (Mary MacDonald/Lily Potter) in which one half of the pairing was so minor I had to look up her name because she was only mentioned once in a single flashback scene beat fandom juggernaut Stucky? I call bullshit.

Now obviously jumping to conclusions based on gut instinct alone is horrible practice... but it is a good place to start. So let’s look at the actual numbers and discover why this entire dataset sits on a throne of lies.

Here are the results of filtering the Steve/Bucky tag for all works created between Jan 1, 2023 and Dec 31, 2023:

Not only would that place Steve/Bucky at #23 on this list, if the other counts are correct (hint: they're not), it’s also well above the 1520-new-work cutoff of the #100 spot. So how the fuck is it not on the list? Let’s check out the author’s FAQ to see if there’s some important factor we’re missing.

The first thing you’ll probably notice in the FAQ is that the data is being scraped from publicly available works. That means anything privated and only accessible to logged-in users isn’t counted. This is Sin #1. Already the data is inaccurate because we’re not actually counting all of the published fics, but the bots needed to do data collection on this scale can't easily scrape privated fics so I kinda get it. We’ll roll with this for now and see if it at least makes the numbers make more sense:

Nope. Logging out only reduced the total by a couple hundred. Even if one were to choose the most restrictive possible definition of "new works" and filter out all crossovers and incomplete fics, Steve/Bucky would still have a yearly total of 2,305. Yet the list claims their total is somewhere below 1,500? What the fuck is going on here?

Let’s look at another ship for comparison. This time one that’s very recent and popular enough to make it on the list so we have an actual reference value for comparison: Nick/Charlie (Heartstopper). According to the list, this ship sits at #34 this year with a total of 2630 new works. But what’s AO3 say?

Off by a hundred or so but the values are much closer at least!

If we dig further into the FAQ though we discover Sin #2 (and the most egregious): the counting method. The yearly fic counts are NOT determined by filtering for a certain time period, they’re determined by simply taking a snapshot of the total number of fics in a ship tag at the end of the year and subtracting the previous end-of-year total. For example, if you check a ship tag on Jan 1, 2023 and it has 10,000 fics and check it again on Jan 1, 2024 and it now has 12,000 fics, the difference (2,000) would be the number of "new works" on this chart.

At first glance this subtraction method might seem like a perfectly valid way to count fics, and it’s certainly the easiest way, but it can and did have major consequences to the point of making the entire dataset functionally meaningless. Why? If any older works are deleted or privated, every single one of those will be subtracted from the current year fic count. And to make the problem even worse, beginning at the end of last year there was a big scare about AI scraping fics from AO3, which caused hundreds, if not thousands, of users to lock down their fics or delete them.

The magnitude of this fuck up may not be immediately obvious so let’s look at an example to see how this works in practice.

Say we have two ships. Ship A is more than a decade old with a large fanbase. Ship B is only a couple years old but gaining traction. On Jan 1, 2023, Ship A had a catalog of 50,000 fics and ship B had 5,000. Both ships have 3,000 new works published in 2023. However, 4% of the older works in each fandom were either privated or deleted during that same time (this percentage is was just chosen to make the math easy but it’s close to reality).

Ship A: 50,000 x 4% = 2,000 removed works Ship B: 5,000 x 4% = 200 removed works

Ship A: 3,000 - 2,000 = 1,000 "new" works Ship B: 3,000 - 200 = 2,800 "new" works

This gives Ship A a net gain of 1,000 and Ship B a net gain of 2,800 despite both fandoms producing the exact same number of new works that year. And neither one of these reported counts are the actual new works count (3,000). THIS explains the drastic difference in ranking between a ship like Steve/Bucky and Nick/Charlie.

How is this a useful measure of anything? You can't draw any conclusions about the current size and popularity of a fandom based on this data.

With this system, not only is the reported "new works" count incorrect, the older, larger fandom will always be punished and it’s count disproportionately reduced simply for the sin of being an older, larger fandom. This example doesn’t even take into account that people are going to be way more likely to delete an old fic they're no longer proud of in a fandom they no longer care about than a fic that was just written, so the deletion percentage for the older fandom should theoretically be even larger in comparison.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the author of this "study" KNEW the data was tainted and chose to present it as meaningful anyway. You will only find this if you click through to the FAQ and read about the author’s methodology, something 99.99% of people will NOT do (and even those who do may not understand the true significance of this problem):

The author may try to argue their post states that the tags "which had the greatest gain in total public fanworks” are shown on the chart, which makes it not a lie, but a error on the viewer’s part in not interpreting their data correctly. This is bullshit. Their chart CLEARLY titles the fic count column “New Works” which it explicitly is NOT, by their own admission! It should be titled “Net Gain in Works” or something similar.

Even if it were correctly titled though, the general public would not understand the difference, would interpret the numbers as new works anyway (because net gain is functionally meaningless as we've just discovered), and would base conclusions on their incorrect assumptions. There’s no getting around that… other than doing the counts correctly in the first place. This would be a much larger task but I strongly believe you shouldn’t take on a project like this if you can’t do it right.

To sum up, just because someone put a lot of work into gathering data and making a nice color-coded chart, doesn’t mean the data is GOOD or VALUABLE.

#ao3 #ao3 stats #psa #my words #fandom #I doubt anyone is even going to read this but I needed to get it out of my system and at least try to stop this from spreading #if you know me #you know I get Big Mad about misinformation #don't take anything at face value #do your own research

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #chilchuck tims #kabru #BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry. #Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong: #“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH. #This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated. #I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them. #Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad. #When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment! #I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug. #Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends) #and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off. #I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi. #obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc #YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him. #I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference

[mumblesplash]

part 2!!!! [read part one here]

transcript below the cut arranged into stanzas to help show where the rhymes are:

“that’s why they brought gem in? as a failsafe?” as a pawn. we were told to point her at whoever we need gone

“gem won’t hurt her allies. …yet.” the curse she carries will it’s had its eye on her since she lost the other eye she was specially selected for her hunting skill it’s quite the high honor. “wow. how generous.” we try

think about it: why does almost no one fight the curse? “given how fast scott killed skizz last season, i can guess.” [“any pain you spare your friends, you’ll have to suffer worse”?] it’s designed to shut down higher reasoning with stress

#if you still can't see the rhyme scheme try reading it out loud #if that doesn't work uh. idk. can't help you #my art #grian #geminitay #smajor1995 #bdoubleo100 #inthelittlewood #secret life #grian and his terrible horrible no good very bad eldritch coworkers: the sequel #cant wait to post the next part so i can be like 'my three secret life comics. and yes they all rhyme' #this one narratively doesn't work nearly as well as a standalone compared to part 1 #however i accidentally went way too hard and could probably upload the middle page + second to last panel as their own separate art pieces #tbh i'm considering putting an explanation of everything below the readmore buuut i don't feel like it atm. :3 later maybe #me and my 20+ life series headcanons i only allude to without explicitly stating don't need to explain ourselves #still experimenting with this webtoon-esque vertical comic style #still not sure i like it #it gets long too quickly #among other things #but it's very easy to read on a phone so

[salthien]

the vessel discovers one of life's simple joys: small plush toy.

a little doodle of a scene from ch 18 of @queruloustea's that makes two of us, then - please please read this fic, it's so lovely. i want to do something nicer and more involved for it but i am still adjusting to drawing Bugs and Bugs Interacting so it will have to wait until i'm more confident :')

#hollow knight #the hollow knight #pure vessel #quirreI is just offscreen having an existential crisis but he is one of the aforementioned Bugs i am still learning to draw. #by god i need to do him justice. it is Important. #also if you're reading this queruloustea hello hi! i hope you don't mind the tag and a little fanart :') #i simply love how you write this creature and it inspires so many thoughts. shrimp emotions #lorne art #tmtout