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hangmanssunnies · 1 year

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Double Tap

House We Share: Double Tap, Sfumato, Good Comes In 3

Summary: You were hesitant when your friends told you about their other friend who needed a roommate. Living with a man, let alone a Naval aviator, isn't your ideal living situation. However, you are desperate to get out of your current house. So, you will have to suck it up and make a deal with Jake "Hangman" Seresin. Now you just wish he would stop doing things that make you fall in love with him.

Pairings: Jake "Hangman Seresin x Fem! Civilian! Reader, minor Javy "Coyote" Machado x OC

Word count: 19k

AO3 LINK

Warnings: Abuse (Implied and mentioned), confrontation with Abuser, Child abuse (mentioned), Slow burn, Implied calorie counting, routines and compulsions, Jigsaw puzzles, taxes, Neurodivergent coded! Hangman, Fiscally responsible!Hangman, Protective!Hangman. Please let me know if I missed any for this part, I know it is a long one.

Authors Note: This got so completely out of hand. It started as one scene and then grew a mind of its own. Part two is written, just not edited, I'm planning on having that done later this week. Hangman Coyote BFF supremacy. I apologize for writing the most hyper-specific!Jake you have probably ever read. 85% of his personality is just things I find attractive in men.

Thank you so much if you take a chance to read this work. I hope you enjoy it. My inbox is always open if you want to let me know your thoughts. Reblogs with your thoughts, opinions, and tags are gold to me. I love reading through them.

You had been at your friend Marlee's house for almost an hour before she couldn't stop herself from confronting you. She had at least let you get settled and offered you a drink while pretending to be distracted by the lasagna she was making. She had spun towards you expectantly when it was in the oven, having reached her limit on waiting.

"What happened?" Marlee asks.

"It's nothing." You respond.

"It is something. I don't want to reread your texts back to you, babes."

"Marls," you sigh, briefly closing your eyes, trying to fight the exhaustion you feel.

"You can't live there anymore. We need to get you out."

"Yeah, let me just move and find a place to live. It's not that easy, Marlee."

She sighs heavily. "I know, babes, but at least stay here with Javy and me. If he touches you like that again."

"It was just a one-time thing," you quickly cut her off. But, from the pitying look in her eyes, she knows it hasn't been just this one time.

"If something happened."

"Nothing is going to happen." Marlee was too bright and too good of a friend. She knew something had already happened, and she knew things had been happening. Her frown and eyebrow raise say it all.

"I can't just crash here," you say.

"You are always, always welcome."

"You are," a voice pops up, and you both look over to the couch. You thought Marlee's husband, Javy, was thoroughly invested in the game he was playing on his Xbox, but it turns out he had an ear on your conversation.

It wasn't something that bothered you. You loved Javy, he had been an excellent partner to Marlee, and you considered him a friend. He was fun and easygoing, something you hadn't expected from a Navy man. You also weren't bothered because everyone knew they were the type of couple that told each other absolutely everything. So, Javy would have found out one way or another.

"I know that. Thanks, you two." You tell them, trying to get them off your back.

"Marlee is right. We can't have anything happening to you."

"Nothing is going to happen to me, Javy," you say, now trying to reassure them and stop this unnecessary worrying.

"You know. I have a friend who has actually been looking for a roommate." Javy says.

"You do?" you ask, surprised you hadn't heard about this sooner.

"Yeah, I mean, he can be a lot. But he is a good guy and a great roommate."

"Who ?" Marlee cuts in.

"Jake."

"Hangman?"

"Yeah, Hangman." The two of them stare at each other, and you can see that they are having one of those conversations of glances and small expressions you weren't entirely privy to understanding.

Marlee then shrugs, nodding, and looks back at you, "It would be a nice safe place."

"I mean, it's an option and would be a nicer place to stay than anything else you'll find. Plus, someone who is not a total stranger as a roommate." Javy tells you. He pulls off his headset and makes his way to the kitchen. He sets his hand on your shoulder and gives you a kind smile.

"I'm not sure about living with a man."

"If you don't want to live with Jake or you aren't interested, we will find somewhere else. Or you stay here with us, but you can't stay there anymore." The seriousness behind Javy's smile isn't lost on you. So you start to slowly nod.

"I guess I could at least chat with your friend if y'all think it's a decent option."

"Yeah, for sure," Javy said with a grin. "I'll ask him about it, then maybe y'all can meet this weekend. We are still having a big bonfire on the beach. I'm sure he will be there."

"Oh, I wasn't planning on going to the bonfire." You start to say, which makes both Javy and Marlee frown.

"Why aren't you coming to the bonfire?"

You tried to think of a valid excuse beyond that being in open public spaces was terrifying to you right now. An excuse past the fact that you knew your bruises wouldn't be gone by Saturday.

"I've just been stressed about finding a place to live, you know." You gave them both a weak smile, but neither of your friends seemed appeased.

"Well, now you have a reason to come," Marlee says.

"Yeah, exactly, and I'll talk to Jake." Javy presses a kiss to your forehead and then a lingering one to Marlee's lips. He returns to the couch, but not before looking at you seriously. "You know if you ever need anything, you call us?"

"Sir, yes sir," you tell him with a laugh, making Marlee giggle too.

Even with Javy's reassurances, you are unsure about this whole idea. However, whoever this friend Jake is, you know he had to be better than your current living situation. After dinner, Marlee and Javy both reiterate their feelings on the whole issue before you leave their house. You did your best to wave them off and tell them you would see them in a few days.

When Saturday rolls around, you head to the pin Marlee sent you for the bonfire. You are thankful it is a cooler day and will only be colder once the sun sets. It allows you to not look so out of place in your conservative clothes, ensuring all your bruises are covered.

You arrive purposefully late and park far from the beach. By the time you make it to the group of people, you have sufficiently hyped yourself up to interact with the others. You decide to ease yourself into the party. You walk around the different coolers, opening them and investigating the available drink options.

You are in the middle of shuffling through one when you hear a voice behind you.

"Anything specific I can help you find, sweetheart?" You turn around and are met with one of the most attractive men you have ever met. He is tall, with dirty blonde hair and a pair of sunglasses perched on his nose.

"I'm just browsing," You tell the man with a shrug, proud of yourself for being able to put together a sentence.

"I think I know what would be perfect for you, sweetheart.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah," He says, flashing you a grin. His smile makes something in your stomach swoop a tiny bit.

"And, what would that be?" you say, raising an eyebrow.

"Me, of course."

You can't help the shocked laugh that falls out of your throat. Which just makes his handsome smile widen.

"I was thinking something a bit stronger, actually."

"I know I look like a tall glass of water but let me tell you, I won't disappoint you."

"Well, looks certainly can be deceptive."

"That's true. Are you really as sweet as you look?"

Before you can answer, you hear Javy's voice to your right. "Oh good, you two already met."

You turn your head to see Javy jogging over. He stops next to you with a smile on his face. You process his words and feel your stomach drop. The incredibly handsome man you were trying to flirt with was Javy's friend. Javy's friend he thought you could live with.

"There haven't been any formal introductions," you say.

"Jake Seresin," he says. He sticks out his hand, waiting for you to shake it. You take his hand, give it a firm shake, and share your name. He repeated it softly, giving your hand an extra squeeze before letting go.

"Javy said you are looking to move," Jake says casually. Your voice seems stuck in your throat. You examine Jake's handsome face again and know you can't do this.

"Yeah, she is. Soon, too." Javy says after you haven't said anything leaving an awkward pause.

"I have lots of space."

"Oh well, you know." You say, trying to figure out what to say by saying nothing at all. Jake nods along with you, but his eyebrows pull close together while his eyes narrow.

"Plus, Jake is really clean," Javy adds.

"That is good to know. Maybe Jake and I can talk about it later?" You say, giving both of them a smile. You turn back to the coolers and grab the first drink you see.

"Yeah, we can talk about it later. Javy owes me a spike ball game anyways," Jake says. He flashes you another smile while grabbing a High Noon out of the cooler, gesturing for Javy to do the same. You leave them to find Marlee and chat with some other people at the party.

You are considering how to best say goodbye and leave the party while sitting next to the fire later. You stare into the flames hoping they might provide you answers.

"You would actually be doing me a huge favor by moving in, "Jake says to you casually. You are startled by his sudden presence, and you look over at him, quirking an eyebrow in response.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I haven't had a roommate for a while, and I would prefer someone who isn't in the military. I don't want to bring work and ranks home. You know?"

"Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense," you say, following his line of logic.

"Also, rent these days is," Jake doesn't finish the sentence, instead just whistling quietly.

"Yeah, rent is expensive," you laugh. You find it much easier to talk to Jake if you don't have to look directly out at him.

"You don't have to let me know right now, but I don't have any issues with it."

"We haven't talked about it much," you tell him, surprised he had decided so quickly.

"There is this saying that beggars can't be choosers."

"I would want a roommate contract. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that would be fine by me, Sugar."

"Okay, cool, but we should think about it."

"Tonight is a party, and we are supposed to be having fun. Not doing business. So, why don't you text me, and we will hash out the details this week. Plus you can see the place, which you would probably want. Maybe you could move in next weekend if we can work it all out?"

Part of you thought you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, so you decided to text Jake throughout the week to hash out the details. And the next thing you know, Javy, Marlee, and Jake are helping you move your stuff.

Living with Jake wasn't as hard as you worried it would be. In fact, it was much easier than you were anticipating. Jake led his life with strict regiment and routine. It was something that stretched beyond that he was in the military.

Jake would wake up in the mornings and go on a run before coming home, making breakfast, showering, and going to work. Then he would come home, change and go to the gym, come home, shower again because he needed to, and then eat dinner. Every night if you were home while he was cooking, Jake would always offer you some. That leads you to find out he is a phenomenal chef.

Then Jake would read in the large armchair in the living room and half-watch whatever you put on the TV to watch yourself. He only requested to use the TV when one of his sports teams was playing or on Wednesday nights, where he would spend an hour and a half playing Animal Crossing with his niece while they facetime.

You had told Jake that the TV was his, and he didn't have to ask you to use it. Jake just laughed and shrugged before telling you he wasn't the biggest TV guy. Jake had been telling the truth when he said that. You realized that Jake was more interested in his books. If he wasn't reading a book, he sat silently with one of his sudoku puzzles and country music playing on vinyl. Then Jake would go to bed after whatever chores he deemed he should do.

It was a strictly followed pattern, only differing on Fridays when he would sometimes go out to a bar with the guys or sometimes Saturdays. However, even on the weekends, he would follow the schedule closely. Regardless if he had gone to the bar, he would still wake up outrageously early in the morning, work out, do chores, and then go to the gym again. Sometimes Jake would venture out of the house to see his friends, but more often than not, he was reading or in the workshop in the garage with some project.

Marlee had not prepared you for how amazingly hot Jake was. When you moved in, he had been very polite, if a bit curt. Never venturing to flirt with you again like when you first met. As the weeks living with Jake passed, though, he definitely warmed up to you. But still never pushed the roommate line between you.

You worked hard to push your attraction for Jake to the side or shove it into a safe in the back of your mind. That was a challenging task to accomplish because, just like Javy said, Jake was very clean. It wasn't that he was a clean freak per se, but he was definitely an orderly and well-kept person. Everything in the house had a place it belonged.

Jake always did his dishes and tidied up after himself in your common areas. He also never leaves any of his laundry waiting around. You had watched in a mix of awe and horror the first time he pulled out clothes from the dryer within five minutes of the machine going off. Then Jake started folding, halfway through the laundry, stoping to pull out an iron and ironing board.

The sight was all so attractive that you had to excuse yourself upstairs. That was something that you often had to do. Anytime you felt heat build in you towards your roommate, you would quickly excuse yourself. You knew giving into your attraction for Jake in any shape or form would not lead anywhere good. You needed a place to live, and this place you had with Jake was way too good to risk anything.

Given his career choice, it was not entirely surprising how regimented Jake is. However, what did surprise you was when he started to incorporate you into his routines in small ways. Jake would automatically set out an extra plate for you when cooking, and picks up snacks you like from the store. One day you come home and find a second shoe rack by the door just for you. On the days you had to be up for work, you would find that Jake had already put your morning drink together for you when he returned from the gym and was making his own breakfast. You like the steady rhythm and consistency that living with Hangman provides you. It's seamless and easy to fall into step with him.

You had been living with Jake for a few months, and things were going really well, almost too well you sometimes felt like it was too good to be true. Your nightmares weren't as frequent. You get full nights sleep and feel comfortable here with Jake. The only times you don't feel content are the times that you think about how hot Jake is. Or when Jake does something that makes it hard not to try and smash your lips against his in a heated, passionate kiss.

Then one day, you get home from work, and worry suddenly sweeps over you as you glance at your phone and realize what time it is. The house is completely dark and quiet. Jake should have been home several hours ago and on his way to the gym already. In fact, right about now was when he should have been getting home from the gym.

You resist the urge to call Jake and check that he is okay. You know that action would be overstepping the roommate boundaries that exist clearly between you. You tell yourself it's silly to worry all because he wasn't following the schedule you made up for him in your head. It's not like Jake had ever written down his routine and given it to you. Maybe today was a special anniversary, or maybe he had after-work plans you didn't know about.

Your worry is eased about twenty minutes later when you hear Jake's truck pull into the driveway, followed by the garage door rumbling open. You find yourself easing further into the couch, some of the tension you weren't wholly conscious of easing out of your body.

Jake comes in, and you cut your eyes over to see him still in his flight suit. He doesn't say anything to you as he unlaces and kicks off his shoes. He passes you while walking to the stairs and manages a short but gruff hello. Then, without another word, he is gone. You stare after his back in shock. Something is definitely not right with Jake.

He left his shoes sprawled on the ground by the door. It was not a sight you had ever seen in the house, not even the times Jake had stumbled home drunk and giggly. Jake always pulled off his boots, neatly tucking the laces in and then setting them up on his small shoe rack by the door.

You get up from the couch and walk over to fix his shoes, tucking in the laces. You tell yourself it is so no one will trip over them, not for any other reason. Then you hear Jake's shower turn on, and the water runs much longer than the twenty-minute showers you are used to him taking. It all feels so odd and out of place. You decide to make some pasta for dinner, convinced Jake is planning on not eating at all with how far he is off his schedule.

You are just finishing dinner when the water in his bathroom finally shuts off. Then fifteen more minutes later, Jake comes downstairs in a pair of plaid pajama pants and a thread-bare Annapolis shirt. He appears to be looking around downstairs, almost a bit dazed and lost.

"I made dinner. How about you have some?" You call out to him from the kitchen. Jake follows your voice to the kitchen and looks at the food you have made and dishes up. Hesitantly he sits down at the table.

"If you don't mind."

"Of course not. I know this may shock you since you normally cook, but I can do it too."

"I've never thought that you couldn't cook." Jake quickly responds.

"I know, Jake. I'm just teasing you. Now eat up."

Jake follows orders and takes a bite of the pasta, letting out a small groan. "So good," he mumbles before taking another bite.

"Do you want the macros?" You ask him conversationally after eating in silence for a few minutes.

"Oh. No, thank you. I appreciate you making something and sharing. No need for you to put in extra work. I will be fine not tracking my macros for one meal," Jake says.

"Okay," you say and give him the kindest smile you can think of. You don't want to push him on why he isn't okay. However, you can't stop yourself from sliding the piece of paper you wrote the macros on across the table to him anyways.

Jake stares at the note card for a long moment and then looks up at you. It's not a look you have ever seen on your roommate's face before. You aren't entirely sure how to decipher the way his green sea-glass eyes are gleaming back at you. He folds the paper once before putting it in his pocket.

Jake clears his throat, and the edges of his lips quirk up. "Thank you."

"Of course, anytime, Jake," you say back. He puts away his plate a few minutes later after finishing his food. Then packs up the leftovers into some tupperware.

"I'm going to bed," Jake tells you. Jake doesn't even stop to grab the current book he is in the middle of from where it is placed next to his chair in the living room.

The moment Jake disappears up the stairs, you are frowning again, considering his behavior. It bugged you, something clearly was off, but you weren't in the position to ask him what it was. As you start to settle down for the evening, you notice that Jake had put it in the laundry basket next to the washer that morning. Seeing that you knew he originally had every intention of starting it before going to the gym that night something that never happened.

You briefly considered that maybe it isn't normal how you have memorized his routine, but also maybe that was just part of living with Jake. You didn't even think before you were throwing his laundry in the washer for him. You stay up to put the clothes in the dryer. Then you find yourself folding items and hanging some of them, not confident that you could iron them correctly. About halfway through the chore, you stop realizing just what you are doing but finish it out, imagining the look on Jake's face when he sees his laundry done. You are in too deep to back out at this point.

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You knew it wasn't the best idea that morning when you had left to go pick up some of your remaining stuff and random mail from where you used to live. However, you didn't expect it to go as badly as it had. You were still shaking from the interaction you had when you got home. Every moment of the interaction repeats over and over in your head. You hazardously throw your keys into your little key bowl, not caring to notice Jake's there as well.

You were still trying to take calming breaths and push away the tears streaming down your face. Standing at the entrance to the living room frozen, you aren't sure if you are actually at home or back there with him.

You startle and jump, letting out a small shriek, hearing a sound in the kitchen. You turn slowly, shocked to see Jake staring at you dressed in his NWUs instead of his flight suit. You are equally surprised by the sight of him home in the middle of the day, in a uniform you rarely see him wear.

The adrenaline of being scared forces your brain into letting go of the nerves and panic you had barely been keeping in check. Tears spring freely from your eyes as you take gasping breaths. J ake sets down the knife he is holding and takes long strides across the room to quickly reach your side. His hands hover near you but don't actually touch.

"What's wrong?" Jake asks in a deep voice.

You just shake your head at him, unable to respond, instead focusing on getting air into your lungs.

"Can I touch you?" Jake asks then, and that does seem okay, so you jerkily nod your head yes.

First, his hands settle lightly on your shoulders. Once it seems like you are okay and comfortable with that. Jake goes a step further and wraps his arms around you, pulling you flush against his chest. You press your face into the material of his shirt. Your hands come up to bunch it slightly on his chest as you find purchase to clutch him closer.

He makes gentle shushing noises but otherwise doesn't say anything while holding you. He is so warm, and his arms feel strong around you. Jake's hold on you doesn't waiver once while you cry. Only relaxing slightly when your sniffles and crying start to level out and you let go of his shirt.

You take one more deep breath of him. Jake smells of a pleasant mix of his body wash, y'all's fabric softener, and his cologne. Letting the calming effect of the smell flood your system before letting go of your hold on him completely, only then does Jake let his arms slip away.

Pulling away from the hug, you shyly look to see Jake's face. You find that he is already looking at you. For one of the first times since you met him, you don't like how Jake's face looks. There is a soft and sad demeanor that you see in his eyes. His eyebrows crease and his lips are pressed into a flat line. You feel embarrassment and shame flood you. The way that you just broke down and cried on your roommate, fully processing in your muddled tired head.

"You're home," you eventually say, trying to break the ice and put a brave face back on.

"Yeah, I'm not flying today. So, I had the time to come home for lunch."

"Sorry to interrupt." You say, looking down to examine your feet.

"You didn't interrupt anything," Jake reassures you. He goes back to the kitchen, and you watch as he continues to cut ingredients for his salad.

"Do you want me to make you anything?" He asks.

"No, thank you. "You say not feeling even a little hungry.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jake asks next.

"No, thank you," you say again and settle at the kitchen island to watch Jake cut the veggies and toss them in a big bowl.

"Okay," he says. You like that Jake doesn't push you for things. He respects the boundaries you set and doesn't even try to toe up against them.

"Am I allowed to know why you aren't flying today? I thought someone had broken in. Plus, I hardly recognize you out of a flight suit."

"You don't like these?" Jake asks, looking at the Navy camo print he is wearing as if this uniform suddenly offended him.

"I didn't say that," you tell him, giving a small laugh. Obviously, Jake could make anything look good, even things that shouldn't.

"Can't fly every day." He says with a shrug. "Also, I'm going through some maintenance stuff and checks with my sailors."

You hum, but otherwise, don't comment watching Jake wash the knife and cutting board he had been using then. Then, after he drys them and puts them away, he turns back to you.

"There isn't anything to be embarrassed about," he tries to venture lightly.

"You don't come home and cry on me," you say, frowning.

"You sure about that one?" He asks, shoving a mouthful of salad into his mouth.

"Pretty sure that I would remember such an occasion."

Jake just hums. One of those sounds that makes you feel like he doesn't actually agree. A few bites of his food later, he sets his bowl down. His green gaze is trialed on you, but then he glances at his watch, huffing in annoyance.

There is a slight caving feeling inside you. You feel bad. How much of Jake's lunch have you taken up? You had never actually seen him come home for lunch before, so he must not get a long time.

"I do all the time. Maybe just a bit less of the wet physical crying." Jake tells you, putting a container lid on his bowl.

"You could," you utter to him, a little embarrassed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, wouldn't bother me if you ever needed to. You know. I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Darlin," Jake says. Then glances at his watch again. "I got ten minutes before I have to go. What would you like to do?"

"I'm fine," you tell him. "You should use that time to eat."

"I'll munch while I'm doing some paperwork later."

That was a lie. You knew that Jake would never eat around paperwork. However, it was the kind of lie that settles warmly. It was one of those lies born with good intentions and made to be soothing. You could never be upset that he is even trying to comfort you at his own expense.

"I don't want to talk about it, Jake." You reiterate again.

"I know, and you don't have to. I won't ask again. However, if you ever decide that you do. I'm here for you too. Always."

"Thank you, Jake. You're a really good roommate."

"I hope you can consider me a friend too?"

"Of course, we are friends too," you reassure him. Jake's lips quirk upwards, his dimples flashing upon hearing that.

"Now, I can't go back to work without seeing at least one smile."

"That's a pretty tall order."

"Well, they don't call me the best for nothing."

"Do they really call you the best or is that something you just tell people?" You ask him, mostly joking. Jake pretends to take offense, pressing his hand dramatically to his chest.

"Ma'am, you wound me," Jake says, pouting.

"I don't know. I think it is a pretty legitimate question."

"I am the best."

"And how do they determine that exactly? Who the best is."

"Well, there are a lot of ways. Many different factors to consider."

"Oh really?"

"Yup. Also sorts of stuff, but they get us all together once a year, and we have a competition."

"What kind of competition?"

"Only the elite members of the Navy participate. We all take turns sliding."

"Sliding?"

"Yup," Jake confirms, sounding one hundred percent serious. "We set up a huge slip and slide on the carrier runway. You only get three tries, and then we add them for scoring. I may have ripped off all the skin on my chest last year, but it was worth it to win."

You can't help but let out a laugh. You picture Hangman competitively sliding down a yellow tarp that doesn't have enough water on it. It's such a silly concept you aren't sure where he came up with it.

"Ahh there she is," Jake says with a broad smile.

"I never would have thought that was a skill the Navy values."

"Yes, Ma'am. It's actually the second part of the Naval academy mission," Jake tells you, still maintaining a serious tone despite his smile. Then Jake stands up straight to his full height in parade rest.

"To develop Midshipmen morally, mentally and physically and to imbue them with the highest ideals of duty, honor and loyalty in order to graduate leaders who are dedicated to a career of naval service and have potential for future development in mind and character to assume the highest responsibilities of command, citizenship and government." Jake repeats dutifully and then adds. "In addition to putting these ideals to the test by hosting the world's most competitive slip and slide competition. Weirdly, people don't talk about that second part much."

You only laugh harder, shaking your head at him. "Yeah, an absolute mystery. I can't believe that isn't common knowledge."

Jake chuckles along with you. Then you two are interrupted by a timer going off from Jake's phone. He sighs and silents it.

"I'm sorry. I've got to go, sugar. Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I promise I'm okay. Thank you, Jake."

He bites his lip and nods at you going to put in his shoes and lace them back up. "Are you going to be home later?"

"Yeah, I'll be home."

"We could do something if you're feeling up for it. Or I can pick up takeout."

"That's sweet, Jake, but you really don't have to."

"I want to," he says with a shrug. Then checks his reflection in the mirror, making sure he is presentable to go back to work. After that, he turns back to you.

"I'll think about it." You tell him before playfully shoving him out the door so he isn't late. You try not to melt when Jake gives you another hug. You catch his hand just before he is too out of reach.

"Thank you, Jake. For making me smile."

"It's the prettiest thing I've seen all day," Jake says, squeezing your hand with his own. His words muddle your brain a little bit. You don't get to say anything else before he heads off to his truck, waving at you one more time and driving off.

You also pretend you aren't screaming on the inside when Jake comes home from work that night with your favorite food and ice cream. The night feels easy and warm, sitting and eating with Jake. The events of that morning can't cross your mind while Jake tells you all about some of the weird contraband he found in the junior sailors' barracks that day. He is no less than spellbinding.

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Jake is sitting at the kitchen table when you get home from work. He is surrounded by neatly organized papers spread all along the table in various piles. Jake is wearing a button-down, tie, and slacks that make you do a triple-take on him.

"Welcome home," he says, glancing up from his laptop that is open in front of him. That's when you see he also has a pair of glasses on.

"Thank you," you say, slowly making your way to the kitchen but still looking at him.

"What are you working on there?" You ask.

"Oh, I'm doing my taxes," Jake says while giving you one of his winning smiles.

"Taxes?"

"Yes, Ma'am"

"I guess that makes sense," you say while looking around the kitchen for a snack.

After a few minutes of silence, you decide to ask another question. "Do you have a date later?"

You knew Jake dated. A man who looks like that has to date. However, you had yet to see him ever bring someone home, which felt odd considering everything about Jake, and the persona he liked to put on as Hangman.

"No. What makes you ask that?" Jake asks you.

"Oh. I don't know. You're dressed like you are going on a date."

"No, I'm not," he says, looking down at himself.

You laugh at him and shrug. "If you say so."

"I would never wear this on a date," Jake mutters, clearly offended.

"Well, then, why are you wearing it?"

"I'm doing taxes," he says again.

"Yeah, we have covered that. What does that have to do with your clothes?"

"I'm dressed like an accountant," Jake tells you. You can't hold back your giggles at his phrasing and bring a hand up to your mouth to try and stifle them before giving up entirely.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Two things," you say, holding up two fingers, finally biting back your giggles.

"One, the fact that you got dressed up to do your taxes. The second is that being an accountant is a euphemism for being a sex worker." Jake chuckles at your explanation but shrugs.

"Well, Mrs. Celeste said I should always dress for the day. It helps you present your best self. If you dress the part, it helps you act that part." Jake says that like a well memorized and treasured quote. A saying he clearly remembered with much fondness.

"And today is my tax day, so I am dressing like a tax professional. I will have you know. Since I started doing them myself, I have never had one problem with my taxes."

You couldn't help but chuckle more at his explanation and give him a fond smile. Sometimes the way Jake was so perfectly built and attuned for the military was endearing. Of course, a career Naval man would think a uniform was essential for each different activity.

"So, are the glasses part of your tax uniform too?"

He made a show of pushing the said glasses further up his nose. "Yes, Ma'am. They also are blue light blocking, which helps prevent migraines."

You nod along to his explanation. You finish putting together your snack and lean against the kitchen counter while munching on it. "Who is Mrs. Celeste? A teacher?"

Jake's lips flatten slightly before the expression relaxes just as quickly. "No, Mrs. Celeste is my Babula."

"Your Grandmother?" You guess.

"Yeah, sorry. My grandma, but she was strictly Mrs. Celeste growing up, only Babula occasionally."

"I don't think I've met someone who calls their grandparent by their first name."

"Well, not really her first name. You have to be respectful and throw the Miss in there with it. She is a very particular lady."

"Is it a southern thing?"

"Yeah, maybe," he says with a small laugh. The edges of his lips quirk up, and you have to look away from Jake to distract yourself. It is easy to fall into the trap of how beautiful he is, with the sparkle he can get in his eyes. Or how even the smallest of his smiles makes you want to grin back.

"So, how are the taxes?"

"Oh, it's good. I'm almost finished up."

"Awesome, congrats Jake."

"Have you done yours?" He asks you.

You shake your head and roll your eyes at the idea. "No, I definitely haven't."

"But you got your W2s in the mail last week."

"Jake, are you snooping through my mail?"

He raises both his hands up in defense. "No, I'm not! W2s just have a very particular look."

"I'm just kidding. I know you wouldn't snoop through my mail. Yeah, I got them, but I've been busy. I guess I should make a Tax Masters appointment or something."

That crease in between Jake's eyebrows appears, the one that haunts you, that you pretend you don't obsess over. Followed by a small frown.

"Tax Master?" He asks, clearly appalled. You shrug back at him, not entirely seeing the issue.

"I could do them for you," Jake says, then quickly adds on. "I mean, I can help you do them. If you have the time. I'm already dressed for it, and I won't charge you or anything."

"Oh no, Jake, that is so sweet, but I can't ask you to do that."

"No, really, I wouldn't mind. I think it would be fun. Plus, then you will have it done, and you won't have to worry about it."

"Really, thank you so much, but it's fine."

Jake's frown deepens at your answer, and he seems almost genuinely upset at your denial of his help. The warm feeling in your chest likes to flip over and grow a little bit more each time he is too sweet in moments like these.

"You know Javy warned me that you were an asshole when I was going to move in. However, you have not once lived up to that. You could stand to be less nice to me, Jake." You tell him. You mean it to come off as almost flirty and a bit of a joke. However, it doesn't seem to land with him that way.

The change that comes over Jake isn't something entirely tangible. It is almost like a shift in the air around him rather than anything physical. The way Jake looks at you just feels heavier and more charged. The confidence he always exudes seems to double with how he sits up just the smallest bit straighter but then leans back against his chair casually.

"Go get your W2s." He tells you in a perfectly level tone, but it has a demanding edge.

"Jake," you start to say and roll your eyes at him.

"Nope," Jake says, popping the p. His voice takes on a lower candace, leaving no room for arguments. "I'm not giving you a choice. We are going to do your taxes."

"No, we aren't doing my taxes."

"Yes, I am. I can't be caught not living up to my reputation. So, I'm not going to be nice and accept that you don't want to. This is one of the few situations I won't take no for an answer."

"It was just a joke."

"No, it wasn't," Jake says, giving you a small shrug. You can't tell if he is actually hurt by how he is acting, but you suspect some part of him was twinged at his best friend's description.

"It really was, Jake. Javy adores and trusts you. I'm sure he never would have suggested me moving in with you if he actually thought you were an asshole."

"I know I'm an asshole. It's fine, sugar, don't worry. I'm not going to tattle on you telling me that to Coyote."

"You aren't an ass, though. That was my whole point."

Jake just shook his head at your answer. "I am one, and I don't want that to be a surprise when you inevitably witness it."

You aren't sure how to respond to that, so you are relieved when Jake changes the topic. "Now, get your tax stuff, so it doesn't take us all night."

"Okay," you sigh, giving in to defeat. Jake gives you a mega-watt smile, and looks back at his computer screen.

As you are walking up the stairs, you hear him yell across the house. "Dress like your best accountant self!"

"I won't be doing that," you yell back.

"Please! It's important." Jake yells back.

When you are in your room getting all your stuff and paperwork pilled together. You find yourself opening your closet and pulling out an outfit that you could imagine wearing if you were an accountant.

You also spend several minutes too long wondering what would happen if you went back downstairs in the most provocative lingerie you own. After all, Jake didn't specify which type of accountant to dress up as. You wondered if it would be tempting to Jake. Could you provoke him into falling into lust with you? Tempt him enough that he took you on the dining room table on top of all the Tax paperwork? Jake has expressed attraction to women before, so there must be at least some part of him that is at least a little attracted to you.

You smash down your thirsty thoughts and try to screw your head back on straight before it can drift too much off on track. When you get back downstairs, Jake is still at the table. You dump all your stuff on an empty spot there.

Jake looks up from his computer and smiles at you, quirking an eyebrow. Then, Jake speaks to you teasingly, "And here I thought you might dress up as the other type of accountant you were telling me about."

Your brain has no choice but to start short-circuiting, and you open and close your mouth twice. Jake starts shuffling through your paperwork, looking at what you have brought him.

"I ordered us some pizza too," he says before you get out a proper response or say anything teasing back to him.

"Yum. I'm excited," you tell him sliding into a seat and opening up your own laptop.

He stops his shuffling and examination of the papers to level you with a serious look. "Thank you for indulging me, by the way."

"Anything for you, Jake," you tell him and mean it. Unfortunately, the way you feel about your roommate is rapidly spiraling out of the tight control you tried to keep it in.

"I like when we do fun things like this together," Jake says to you, grinning.

"Me too," you tell him. Then add, "Only you would find taxes fun, though, Hangman."

"I am about to show you just how fun taxes can be and how you can get a great return," Jake says, taking your words in stride.

Jake does your taxes almost entirely by himself, only asking occasional questions. He also then organizes all of your paperwork in an extra accordion binder he has. The taxes aren't fun, but spending time with Jake is.

"Thank you," you say to Jake daring to press a soft, affectionate kiss to his cheek. You linger for a moment, the prickle of his end-of-day stubble ticking your lips, but you don't mind it. When you pull back to gauge his reaction, Jake looks almost pained and upset. You worry for a moment that even just a cheek kiss could make him react this way. You briefly thank god you didn't actually try to seduce him earlier.

"Always, anytime." He finally says. However, Jake is now glaring down at his keyboard and not looking at you.

"I hope it wasn't too much trouble," you venture, confused by this mood shift.

"Sugar?"

"Yes, Jake?"

"I don't think you should pay so much rent."

"What?"

"Listen," he runs a hand through his hair, pushing it all out of sorts. "I just don't think it's fair for you to pay so much."

"Of course, it's fair. I live here," you explain.

"Yeah, but no. I get BAH, and I don't have any student loans from school. Plus, the Navy pays me plenty as an officer. I was paying for this place all alone before you moved in anyways."

"I'm not going to pay less rent because you saw my financials and feel bad." You tell Jake quietly, trying not to actively become upset.

"Please don't be so stubborn," he pleads with you.

You cross your arms over your chest, "Take your own advice."

"I'm the one being stubborn?"

"Yes! You are. You are the most stubborn man I have ever met."

Jake's frown deepens, and that sad look in his eyes at your words starts to break through to you. Then he responds, "I'm sorry. I guess I'll try and work on that."

Jake starts meticulously putting things away into different folders. He moves through each of his piles on the table and doesn't spare you a second glance. It leaves a crushing feeling in your chest.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you."

"There is no need to apologize. I'm the one who is sorry." Jake says, shrugging off your apology.

"No, you don't need to apologize. I understand why you said what you did. I know you were trying to be sweet." You start to say but are cut off.

"I wasn't trying to be sweet."

"Oh my god. Okay, fine, trying to be nice, then," you say, rolling your eyes.

Jake sets down the folder he is currently holding, and it thumps a little bit on the table. The force and loud sound make you flinch.

"I'm not sweet, nice, good, or kind. Okay? I'm not any of those things. I call things how I see them. I look at facts, figures, and numbers. Then I run calculations and act accordingly."

"And how is it mathematically possible that me paying less rent possibly works out for you, Jake? You will be losing money." As he shakes his head, he huffs at your words a little bit like they are funny.

"You could do a lot and make a lot of gains if you paid less rent, and I don't mind picking up the extra amount. You might be one of the few people I haven't hated living with. I don't want you figuring out you need to live somewhere cheaper and moving out on me. So, I'm not being nice. I'm being a selfish asshole." Jake clenches his fists hard, and you see his knuckles start to turn paler. With a deep breath, he relaxes and shrugs. Loosening the tight coil of his muscles, Jake gives you a curt tight lipped smile with a nod. "I'm just a selfish asshole, okay?"

"Please stop. Don't say that."

"Why not? It's true," he says, rolling those beautiful eyes at you.

"It's not true. Also, I would prefer if you don't use the word selfish around me, please." You say in a surprisingly steady voice. You don't really want to get triggered right now, and you could only hope that you wouldn't have to explain triggers to Jake. It takes him one moment to think and another to process before he says anything.

"Oh fuck. I'm so sorry. I won't use it again." Jake promises, no questions asked. His words blow up a balloon in your diaphragm, making it feel like your breath is about to catch. Then he adds on, "If there are any other words…" He looks around and grabs a loose pen and one of his notebooks. Jake slides them across the table to you. "Write them down. Maybe? If you can."

The warmth Jake inspires in your chest is unparalleled and drowns out anything you can think of aside from how endearing he can be and how fond you are of him. Jake doesn't take the lack of response from you well.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes again. You spring from where you had been sitting, walking slowly and deliberately toward him. You make sure to give him plenty of time to protest and say something.

Jake looks steadily back at you. However, he looks like he is preparing himself to be slapped or punished, holding perfectly still. Instead, though, you wrap Jake in a tight hug. He is stiff as a board beneath you. After a long moment, as you consider pulling away, Jake relaxes and wraps his arms around you. They are wrapped loosely at first but then tighten in small intervals until Jake is practically clinging to you.

"You are so good," you whisper to him, a little dazed. You are almost stunned by how desperately Jake tries to pretend otherwise.

"Don't say that," Jake whispers in a broken voice, hugging you a bit tighter.

"Too good." You left the words for me unsaid, but you felt them.

"I'm really not."

"It's okay if you don't see it. I see it for you. I'll make sure everyone else sees, too," you tell Jake curling your hands into a fist in his shirt.

He doesn't say anything but keeps holding you tightly. You don't know how long the two of you stay embraced like that until Jake finally eases his grip on you, and you reluctantly pull away from him as well.

He presses a lingering kiss to your forehead. "Please stop paying so much in rent," he requests again.

"That will not be happening, Hangman."

"So stubborn." He sighs. Jake kisses your forehead again. He leaves his lips lingering, and you start to count the breaths memorizing how warm his lips are. Three breaths later, he is pulling away. Jake grabs his laptop and a stack of folders heading upstairs without another word to you.

You stare after him for a while, trying to parse out the mystery Jake presents, and coming up a bit short, just like you always did. He is one of the most outwardly confident men you have ever met. Yet, other times, Jake is the first person to make a self-deprecating comment about himself. You swallow down how much you desire more from him, wishing for more, knowing you can't and shouldn't have it.

🏡🧩🏡

You and Jake were lounging on the couch. He was scrolling on his phone, avoiding going to the gym, half-heartedly trying to convince you to go with him. You were also scrolling your phone while deflecting Jake’s offers.

That was when your doorbell rang, followed by heavy knocking. You and Jake both look up at each other. He raises his eyebrows, and you just shrug, having no idea who could be at the door. Jake looks back to his phone, clearly ready to ignore it, when the doorbell rings twice more, and the pounding on the door gets louder. Jake sighs and gets up, walking across the house towards the noise.

“Hold your horses out there!” Jake yells towards the door before opening it.

You wait for a moment, trying to hear who it is, curious about who would be so rude and what they needed. However, you don’t hear anything from where you are on the couch. So you stand and follow Jake into the entry hallway.

“Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave.” You hear Jake say. He is standing at his full height in the door frame.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” You hear from on the other side of the door.

Nervousness shoots through your whole body hearing that voice. Anxiety immediately pops up, and your stomach drops. You know that voice. You have heard it a thousand times before. Why was he here? How was he here?

“I asked you to leave, Sir.”

“Just tell that little bitch that —”

Jake steps further forward onto the front porch. “Now, we don’t speak about ladies like that where I am from. And I’m going to ask that you act accordingly while at my home, Sir.” Jake cuts him off with that well mannered southern military niceness.

“I don’t give a fuck where you are from.”

You flinch at his tone of voice, feeling bile rise up in your throat. You lean against the wall slapping your hand over your mouth, trying to prevent yourself from throwing up.

“I asked you politely to leave. I won’t ask again. I can call you a taxi or an uber. But don’t you dare take one more step on my front porch.” Jake says in a deep tone. You are hit with the sudden, horrifying realization that he is going to hurt Jake, and that is something you just won’t let happen.

You are trying to go through possibilities in your head. Anyway, this could shake out; it would be bad for Jake. Jake would either get hurt and get in trouble, or he would kick ass and gets in worse trouble. This would end badly; either way, Jake is going to get in trouble, and it would be your fault. You would be responsible because you caused this situation. Jake was going to pay the consequences all because he was trying to protect you. You were roommates, so Jake must think he has some obligation to protect you.

You feel swamped in stress knowing how easily Jake can escalate a situation and provoke someone; sometimes, all it takes for him is one well-placed smile. That stress is finally what unfreezes you, and you stumble towards the front door.

Jake’s large, broad form still mostly hides your view of the other side, but you cautiously approach and set your hand gently on the back of his shoulder. You feel how tense Jake’s muscles are under your hand and can see it in the line of the back of his neck.

“Sugar, I’m not going to tell you what to do,” Jake says in a deep voice. He doesn’t budge an inch or look back toward you. “But I would like to suggest that you go back inside. I have this handled.”

You want to cry. You want to cry for so many reasons: cry because you are in this situation, that you have to deal with this again, that you feel so small. However, you mostly want to cry because Jake “Hangman” Seresin is such a good man. It’s startling sometimes, not because it’s really unexpected, but rather that it is so completely and bluntly genuine.

Having Jake here defending you, trying to protect you from the person who has probably scared you most in your life, it feels so silly to pretend like you don’t have feelings for him, to pretend that you aren’t more in love with him than you ought to be.

The realization doesn’t really feel shocking; it is closer to acceptance. A given truth that is part of your life now. An empowering truth that swells in your bones like a swift tide, filling up the spaces that have been empty for so long.

You love Jake more than you are scared. The warmth of affection towards him is so hot it burns out the freezing ice in your veins and the numbness in your fingers. You love him, and you will be damned if you let Jake be hurt, touched, tainted, or affected by this man who has hurt you. It seems cliché that loving someone like this is enough for you to finally break through the barrier of fear you have lived your whole life in. However, now it just feels so simple.

Your heart is beating hard. The adrenaline is pumping through you so strongly that you can hear it echoing in your ears. Your hand slides up Jake’s back to his bicep, and you give him a gentle push. Jake shifts with the movement. He slides to the right so you can finally fully see the front porch. However, he doesn’t move enough that you are fully exposed. Jake’s body is still partially concealing you from view.

Then you hear your name, and your attention snaps away from its hyper-focus on Jake. You turn it forward and brace yourself. You drift your eyes to the ground, landing on the feet of your visitor, staying there for a minute before meeting his burning eyes.

“Hello, Dad.”

“Ah, so she is here,” your father says, throwing his hands up and glaring at Jake. You can smell the booze on him from the doorway. It makes your stomach turn. You resist the urge to wretch, squeezing your hand, which is still on Jake’s bicep. He flexes, and his bicep digs into his shirt as your nails also dig in. You don’t like those angry, hateful eyes on your Jake. Jake doesn’t budge an inch or react to your nails on his skin.

“What are you doing here, Dad?” You ask him. Your hold on Jake acting like an anchor point for you.

“You don’t bother to answer my texts or anyone else’s calls and texts. Just because you moved out doesn’t mean you get to be a selfish bitch” your dad spits out.

“I’ve been pretty busy,” you defend yourself in a small voice.

“Oh, I bet you have been so busy. What are you doing these days?” He growls at you. “You know it doesn’t really count as moving out if you are spreading your legs to pay for it.”

You flinch, your hand falling from Jake’s arm and balling into a tight fist at your side. You hate how easily he can make you feel small, even when you are angry.

“Watch your mouth,” Jake hisses, rejoining the conversation. You glance at him, and Hangman is shaking with contained rage. You know this is not a good situation; anytime, someone could blow up.

“You should go inside, Hangman,” you tell him gently.

“Absolutely not,” Jake responds instantly.

“So you are playing the part of a pathetic little whore wife for this pretty boy.” Your dad says, cutting in.

You grit your teeth as he continues on. “Come on. I thought you gave up pussies after our talk when you were in high school.”

With the reminder of just what he is referring to, You are overcome with anger, and you finally can’t take it anymore. You recognize his words for what they are, a direct bait at Jake and undercutting you. It makes you so angry you start shaking. Tears burst from your eyes, trying to let off some steam bubbling inside you. It boils up, so you can’t take it anymore, and you whisper, “Shut up.”

“What?” Your dad asks, clearly shocked. You take a step forward fueled by your anger.

“Shut the fuck up.” You pronounce each word slowly. Then continue on, “I’m tired of this. You don’t get to be mean to me and still expect a relationship with me. You don’t get to hit me, yell at me, and abuse me just to show up at my house on your bullshit. And you sure as fuck don’t get to say anything about Jake.” You suck in a rapid breath, the words fueling the fire in you. Your angerburning brighter with every word.

“You made me think that kind, decent men didn’t exist, Dad, but Jake is good. He isn’t a pretty boy. He is smart, sweet, strong, and kind. I will not hear you say one more thing about him. Ever.” You punctuate the sentence with a jab of your index finger at him. He looks like he might be cowed, and before you can even finish a prayer that he will be done, the fire in his eyes lits again.

“You could have at least found someone who stands up for you. A real man.” Your dad isn’t even looking at you when he says it. Instead, he is staring at Jake.

“That’s a rather rude thing to say about an active duty Naval Officer,” you hiss. Your dad takes a step back, his eyebrows raising, reexamining Jake. He shifts his weight between his feet nervously.

“You aren’t welcome at our home. So leave and crawl back into the bottle you drank before coming here. Don’t come back, Dad. I don’t want to see you.”

You try to force your body to relax, but the adrenaline is still pumping hard in your veins. So, you start to walk backward back into the house. Jake still hasn’t taken his eyes off your dad, and he makes no move to come with you back into the house.

“Jake?” You ask.

“Just give me a minute, sweetheart. I need to have a talk with your old man here and make sure that he makes it home.”

“I don’t want him near you.”

Your dad still looks blown away by this turn of events. Like he is scrambling to put words together. He keeps looking back and forth between you and Jake.

Jake breathes out heavily through his nose. He turns his head enough to glance at you. Whatever he sees on your face must break his resolve. Jake clenches his jaw, and you watch the muscle flex once, then twice. After that, he rolls his shoulders, and it’s like Hangman is physically able to just shrug the tension of the situation off.

“Get home safe, Sir. I suggest doing so soon. MAs are known to drive down our street.” Jake says it in a light, easygoing tone, border lining on cheery. Then, plastering that practiced, perfect smile on his face, Jake nods his head toward your dad and comes back into the house.

Jake closes the door but doesn’t move, staring out the frosted window on the front door. His body is tense again, standing rigidly at his full height. You are still shaking from anger. You slump against Jake’s back, letting your body weight shift into his. One of his arms bends backward a bit awkwardly, sitting on your waist. His large palm is burning hot. You can feel it through the fabric of your clothes. Then Jake’s fingers flex to give you a small squeeze of reassurance.

When Jake finally does move, it is just to turn away from the door and wrap you tightly in his arms. You enjoy the warmth of his strong embrace, feeling exhausted as the adrenaline starts to fade. Jake is still shaking, though.

“He’s gone,” Jake says into the crown of your head. You let a little sigh escape you, feeling a bit more of the tension release.

“Good,” you manage to tell him.

“I wanted to defend you. I wanted to slam his face so hard into the porch that he wouldn’t ever be able to open his mouth again. Wanted to tell him how you are—”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” you cut Jake off before he can continue. You don’t want to know what he thinks about you right now. You can’t handle whatever words could spill out of his mouth next.

“I’ll make sure he never comes back here,” Jake says, his voice dropping, and you feel the rage contained in him, the subtle shake and heat coming from how tense he is.

“I don’t want him near you. If something happened to you because of him….” you trail off. Your hands wander the expanse of Jake’s back in an almost soothing motion. However, you don’t know who it is soothing more, you or him. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

He takes a deep breath and then releases it in a heavy sigh. “What if you just give me his full name and social security number? You wouldn’t have to know about anything else.”

“Jake,” you whisper in a tone that is almost reminiscent of amusement.

Jake sighs again. He draws back from your hug and cups your face. He swipes his thumb across your cheekbone, wiping away the tears that have been lingering.

“You are the kindest, most compassionate person I have ever met,” Jake whispers. Considering how he is looking at you with a glimmer in his eyes, it’s clear the emotions of the situation are still running rampant. That look, paired with how he is holding you, makes you think Jake might be about to kiss you.

“No, No. Stop.” You don’t know if you are trying to ask him not to kiss you or to stop talking. Either way, you feel like you might explode if this interaction isn’t over soon.

“Yes,” Jake says. “Let me, please.”

His thumb is still tracing along your cheek, and you can’t help yourself from leaning a tiny bit into his palm. An action that momentarily freezes his thumb before it picks up steadily again. Not hearing an explicit no from you again, Jake continues on.

“That man has no say over you. Who you are is so stunning. You never deserved to be treated the way you were. I am so sorry you ever had to go through that. I am so sorry he showed up here. You don’t owe him a single second of your time or attention. You are valuable. You are amazing. He is trying to make you small because he sees how good you are.”

A shudder racks through your body, hearing Jake’s words, and fresh tears start to fall unprompted from your eyes. As soon as they do, though, Jake pushes them away. “I am so proud of you for getting away from him. You are so strong and brave. It makes me awed. I’m so glad that you moved in here. You are…” Jake doesn’t finish the sentence, he seems to lose his train of thought. His mouth parts a little bit, and his eyes flash down to glance at your lips.

Jake is going to kiss you, and it might possibly be the worst thing that could happen. If he kisses you right now because of your dad, you know you might break into a million different pieces. You don’t want Jake to kiss you for any reason but pure desire and affection. You don’t want him to kiss you in comfort, or pity, or convenience, or as an outlet. You don’t want him to kiss you just because emotions are running high from the incident that just happened. Most of all, you don’t want Jake to kiss you and not mean it. You don’t want him to kiss you without the intention of kissing you again.

So, even though you are desperate to feel his lips, and memorize their shape, how they feel against yours. Desperate to discover what he tastes like, curl your fingers in his hair and take comfort in the form of his body. You know you can’t, it has the power to break you, and you already feel so broken and exhausted.

You cover the hand Jake has on your face with your own and pull it away. However, you don’t immediately let go holding his large palm. Hangman takes your hint and steps backward, giving you a little space so that he is pressed against the door again. You decide to thread your fingers with his. Jake’s skin is still almost hot to the touch in your hand.

“Thank you, Jake,” You finally say, meeting his piercing green eyes again. You squeeze the hand you are holding. He gives you a tight nod and then tips his head upwards, so he is looking at the ceiling. Jake rests his head against the door as well and closes his eyes.

You observe him for a moment, then you go to release the hand you are holding. Jake stops you, though, his hand tightening as yours loosens, and you try to pull away. You give a little tug, and he tightens his fingers even more. Jake’s head is still tipped, and you hear him sucking in a deep breath before blowing it out.

“Please don’t let go,” he begs you. Jake’s eyes flash open again, and he is looking down his nose at you. “I just, I need you.”

You inhale sharply at his phrasing, and he sighs heavily. “I might do something terrible if you let go of me. If you don’t need me here, there won’t be anything to stop me.”

“You’re not going to do anything terrible,” You say, retangling your fingers with his. Jake’s hand flexes in yours, and he takes another big breath.

“I’ll make sure he loses our address and forgets it too. Make sure he doesn’t remember anything at all anymore. I’ll—”

“You’ll stay right here, Jake.”

He lifts his head so it isn’t tilted against the door anymore and stares down at you. He looks like he is holding on to every word you are saying to keep his sanity. His skin is flushed from anger, and his palm shakes slightly in yours. You were in awe he was able to hold back this reaction so long, remaining calm and collected throughout the entire encounter.

“You will stay here with me, Jake. I need you.”

“Yeah?” He asks shakily.

“Yeah. Need your help, Jake.”

There is a low rumble in his chest, almost resembling the hum it was probably supposed to be. You step closer to Jake, once again closing the gap between you.

“Tell me what you need.” It comes out as a demand, and he seems to realize that when he adds on a small quick “Please.”

You look at him then, trying to read his face and those eyes that haunt your dreams. You examine the creases and lines his face makes with the severe angry look he has plastered on. You take the time to observe how his hair is hazardously falling out of place for how many times he has run his hand through it. You don’t really find any of the answers you are looking for. You just find Jake. And Jake is an oh-so-wondrous thing to find.

You step closer to him and tug the hold he has on your hand again. His nose scrunches for a moment, and his frown tightens. His eyes lift upwards towards the ceiling again as his jaw clenches; he lets go of your hand. Jake’s hand falls heavily back until it hits the door making a smacking sound. You flinch at the sound but take another step forward, crowding Jake against the door. You lift your hand up to trace over his neck and then settle on his face, encouraging him to adjust his gaze back to you. He follows direction and leans into your hold, just like you leaned into his earlier.

“Need you to stay with me,” you start slowly, encouraged as Jake nods his head in a small jerk.

“I need you to leave the front door.”

He considers your words for a moment, then shakes his head. “I don’t think I can do that. I’m sorry, sugar. I need to protect you.”

“There is no one in the world I feel safer with than you, Jake.” He squeezes his eyes tightly closed at those words and pulls in a ragged breath. “So, you can’t leave me alone here.”

He nods again but still has his eyes closed. “Ain’t leaving. You need me.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Can I hold you?” Jake asks, then once again remembers his manners throwing out another small, please.

“Yes, please,” you whisper. Jake doesn’t waste a moment before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you snuggly against him. The change of angle causes your hand to slip from his face, so you wrap it around his neck instead, your fingers drifting against the short hairs there. You go to wrap your other arm around his waist but instead awkwardly hit the front door. You hiss out a small breath at the momentary pain.

Jake responds to the sound. He starts walking forward, making you walk backward. Walking while he is wrapped around you proves to be difficult, and you stumble a little. That seems to be all Jake needs; he wraps his arms under your ass and lifts you.

You are terrified at the concept that Jake is going to try to carry you, and you open your mouth to protest. However, with only one small grunt that honestly sounded more like pure sex with how low and husky it is, Jake is carrying you down the hallway. You wrap your arm around his neck more securely, adding a second one for more leverage.

Jake doesn’t stop to set you on the couch like you had expected. Instead, he continues up the stairs and right into his room. He sets you on his bed gently, and you unwrap your arms from his neck, letting him pull away. Jake goes back to the door of his room, closes it, and clicks the lock into place. You raise an eyebrow at his action.

"That’s rather presumptuous, Hangman.”

“What?” He looks at you confused before he looks back at his door. “Oh no, I’m sorry. I wasn’t, I’m not.”

You shush him motioning towards yourself to try and get him to come closer again. “I know.”

Jake comes back to your side. Now that you have been given the temporary clearance to freely touch him, you cannot stop yourself. Jake sits next to you on the bed, and you are scooting closer so that your thighs are flush side by side. Jake throws an arm across your shoulder, pulling you even closer to him.

“Do you need to talk about it?” He asks you softly. You let a hollow dry laugh at his question, your laughter starts to devolve until it’s nearly hysteric giggling. Jake takes it in stride, holding you close and his thumb drawing small soothing back-and-forth shapes. After you are almost breathless and heaving, you finally start to recover.

“I don’t want to talk about it, but I definitely need to. Not with you, though, Jake.”

“Why not me?”

“Because it’s the kind of fucked you talk to a therapist about.”

“I’m a great listener.”

“I know you are, but this isn’t your baggage to pack around and deal with, Jake.”

“Baggage? Sugar, that’s why we have the attic. If that isn’t enough space, or you fill it up. I’ll build a shed in the backyard.”

“What if that’s not enough room?”

“Then we have the garage. We’ll just park in the driveway.”

“You would give up your shop?” You ask, thinking of Jake’s favorite place in the house.

“Yup,” Jake says without hesitating. “And after that, well, I’ve never been too fond of the extra guest room anyway.”

“If that’s all not enough?”

“Then we’ll move. Or we go through it until we find some we can let go of.” Jake says, his free hand crossing his body to settle warmly on your knee.

“It’s not physical baggage.”

“I know it’s not.”

The feeling of affection you feel for him grows even more. Every time you think that there is no way possible you can fall further in love with him, Jake turns around and proves you wrong. He does some kind, funny, sweet, unexpected thing that makes you fall a little harder.

You lift your head and look at him. Jake’s eyes meet your own, the severe stormy look in them a little less present. He is a bit more at ease, no longer shaking with anger. You let your eyes fall to his lips. You briefly think you love him so much it might be worth the risk to shift forward and kiss him. That maybe it wouldn’t lead to disaster like you’ve convinced yourself it would.

“What’s your favorite comfort movie?” Jake asks, breaking you from your trance. You shift a bit further away from him but not far before giving him an answer.

The two of you watch your favorite comfort movie. You are cuddled into Jake’s side the whole time. The two of you had shifted back into the bed, cuddled close while watching the wall-mounted TV in Jake’s room. Exhaustion hits you like a wall as the adrenaline leaves your system, accompanied by the heat radiating off of Jake, the way everything smells like him, and his Tempurpedic bed; you relax more than you have in a long time.

As you start to drift asleep against Jake’s chest, his heartbeat has a steady, soothing rhythm under your ear. You think out of all the times you have dreamed of falling asleep with Jake in his bed, none of those fantasies come even close to how good it actually feels. None of your dreams prepared you for how safe you would feel.

Your dreams also didn’t prepare you for sneaking back to your room at three in the morning when you woke up. Or pretending the next day that nothing had happened. After all, nothing had happened except some tense moments and Jake getting a glimpse of your past. You don’t say anything, and he doesn’t, either. You catch him watching you closer than he would typically for the next few days.

More time starts to pass, and you are thankful that nothing was risked or changed between you and Jake or has affected you as roommates. There are only the slightest moments when both of you are much more casual about physical affection. Hugging Jake was now a commonplace part of your day, and you occasionally catch yourself daydreaming about what it felt like to fall asleep in his bed.

🏡🧩🏡

You had started to pick up what the signs were when Jake wasn't okay, and something was bothering him pretty early into moving in. He had some pretty obvious tells. However, something had been really really bothering him for a while now. He didn't say anything to you, but he didn't have to; Jake's mannerisms gave him away. Jake wasn't following his routine and had started obsessively cleaning.

The other night, he knocked on your door, bursting open seconds after you told Jake he could come in. Then Hangman had all but begged you to let him deep clean your room. When you told Jake no, he gave you a look like you just insulted his Babula and stalked out of the room. Half an hour later, he was back in your doorway, asking the same question phrased slightly differently. You had finally given in after his second time double-checking. However, you insisted that you helped and supervised his cleaning. Once you agreed, Jake had done his happy dance. It was so cute it managed to cover the embarrassment that was crawling in you at letting someone else, let alone the man you loved your roommate, clean your room.

The next day Hangman decided to reorganize all the bookshelves. First by color, then by genre, and even one time by the number of pages. His last reorganization was to put them all back to by author's last name. This was only after Jake talked to you for over an hour about the pros and cons of the Dewey decimal system in modern library science.

After the books, you come home, and there is a puzzle on the table. A 2500-piece puzzle of the painting Meeting On The Turret Stairs. Jake works on it constantly. Only stopping to go to work and the gym. For three days, he doesn't read and doesn't do his sudoku. Jake doesn't sit with you in the living room at night. Instead, he just works on his puzzle, blowing past his typical bedtime every night. Then he stops going to the gym, and a day after that, he cancels his weekly call with his niece. That's when you know without a shadow of a doubt that whatever is bothering Jake must be significant.

Finally, you can't bite your tongue or try to keep your nose out of his business anymore. The concern you feel is too much to handle. You had gotten up at 3 am for some water, and Jake was still puzzling at the table.

"How's it going, Sport?"

"No, I'm Hangman," Jake answers in a quiet voice.

"What?" you ask him, confused.

"Not my callsign," Jake mumbles to you. You squint and try to piece together what he means in your still half-asleep brain.

"You know someone named Sport?"

Jake just shrugs his shoulders, engrossed in his task. "There are worse callsigns to have."

"Like Hangman?" You tease him. Jake finally looks up at you when you say that. Jake's eyes are bloodshot, and he has a hurt look. The small frown, paired with his glassy tired eyes, makes you feel like you just kicked a puppy.

"Hangman is cool," Jake protests.

"Hangman is very cool," you tell him placatingly, holding up your hands in surrender.

"You don't actually think it's cool," Jake whispers, his tired eyes falling back to his puzzle. Jake sounds so sad about it that your feet are moving before your brain, and you are sliding next to him on the bench for the long side of the table.

"Hangman is cool," You say and then nudge him affectionately with your shoulder. "You are cool."

His lips quirk upwards from his frown before falling again. “Well, I am the Hangman.”

"How is the puzzle going?"

"Fine, good. I like puzzling."

"You have done other puzzles?" You ask.

"Yeah, I have a whole box full."

You hum at his words, tiredly wiping your eyes. "You should have been Puzzleman."

Jake's eyes flash over to yours, slightly worried. "Do not ever say that around Coyote."

"Hangman, It's three AM." He looks surprised to hear the time, and you watch him turn his wrist to confirm the time on his watch.

"Go to bed," You add softly.

"I like when you call me Jake."

"Then why do you listen better when I call you Hangman?"

"Hmm, maybe because that's the name I hear most often. Maybe because it's easy to be Hangman."

"Is it hard to be Jake?" You ask him gently.

Jake is quiet for a long moment after your question. Before answering, he sets the piece he had been holding back in its color pile. All he gives you is a whispered, "Sometimes."

You aren't sure what to say, so instead, you put a hand on his shoulder and squeeze it. "It's time for bed, Jake. It'll be here in the morning."

Jake nods his head, listening to you. You get the water you initially came downstairs for and wait until Jake starts up the stairs. Following behind him, you make sure he goes into his room. You aren't really eased about the situation when he shuts the door. However, you are glad he will at least get some sleep.

Before you go back to bed, you shoot your group chat with Marlee and Javy a text.

Have you ever seen Jake do a puzzle?

You wake up to texts from Javy and Marlee, both asking all kinds of questions like: what you meant? What kind of puzzle? With how many pieces? And, how long has Jake been working on it?

From the questions alone, you gather that your worries are correct and Jake puzzling is not a good thing. Getting out of bed, you make yourself presentable enough to venture out of your room and downstairs.

In the mid-morning light, you are once again greeted with the sight of Jake hunched over his puzzle. A steaming cup of tea sitting next to him, and Chris LeDoux playing from the record player.

"Good morning," you say.

"Morning, sugar," Jake says back. You are glad to get a response, but the worry is still gnawing at you. You start putting together your own morning drink, and your eyes keep drifting back to him.

"Jake, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." He says, not looking away from the puzzle piece he is currently studying.

You stop leaning against the counter, taking your drink with you and walk over to his side. Jake is completing this puzzle concerningly fast; you notice examining his progress this morning alone. He keeps staring at the piece in his hand, unblinking even as you approach. You watch him for a few more moments before deciding it's time for you to intervene.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You pose cautiously. His eyebrows crease, and he still doesn't look away from the puzzle.

"About the puzzle?" he asks you in a hopeful tone.

"No, Jake. About what's bothering you."

He finally does spare you a glance, and you don't like how dull his green sea glass eyes are. The normally vibrant, mischievous glint isn't present, and they are slightly bloodshot and red, even after you forced him to get some sleep.

"It's fine. I'm fine. Just work stuff. I've got to finish this puzzle." He tells you, then looks away.

You frown at Jake's answer. Puzzles are supposed to be fun, and you don't think this is actually a healthy, cathartic activity for Jake anymore. You almost preferred his book reorganization or when he went to every door and oiled the hinges, the top and bottom hinges twice but the middle ones only once. When you asked why not the middle one twice? Jake had told you something about middle children that had made you laugh.

While Jake normally released stress through organization, order, and control. The frenzy and energy he has with this puzzle is different. This wasn't like the month after you moved in, and he decided to rearrange his shop in the garage. Jake had reorganized his tools, labeling where they all went. After that, he made you a booklet of where everything in the garage was located, just in case you wanted to use something. Jake was very genuine about it, too. As if he really believed you were about to start borrowing his screwdrivers, saws, wrenches, lathe, and various other tools.

Your frown deepens, and you pull out your phone, shooting a text to your group chat with Marlee and Javy. Answering some of their questions from the morning and shooting back a request of your own.

After texting with them for a few minutes, you set your phone down on the table, taking the spot next to Jake. He gives you another short look but doesn't say anything. You take a moment to look at the piece he has been staring at for over five minutes at this point.

Taking it gently from his grasp, you examine it yourself. A moment later, you place the puzzle piece into the correct spot. Jake ghosts over the piece you just placed and taps it twice as your hand retreats.

"You got to tap it into place," he tells you softly. Then Jake is back digging through his piles, looking for the next piece.

You help Jake with his puzzle for a little bit, pleasantly surprised at the textured surface of the pieces, enjoying how tactile they are. You know this must be a very expensive and nice puzzle. Any time you place a piece, you make sure to tap it twice for Jake. Each time you do, Jake gives a small nod of approval. The one time you forget, his fingers quickly find the piece again and tap it twice with a small annoyed huff. You don't try and coax Jake into a conversation again, simply enjoying just being with him.

Y'all's work is broken a while later by the doorbell ringing. The sound startles Jake, and he jumps in his seat and his head snapping towards the door. You place a hand on his shoulder again to try and ease the sudden tension.

"It's okay," you tell him quietly, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze. "I'll go get it."

"No, I can get it," Jake says, starting to stand up. You know he doesn't like you to answer the front door anymore. He hasn't ever since your dad showed up unannounced. Jake has never explicitly told you he doesn't want you to answer the door. However, you have picked up on it because he has not let you answer the door once since the incident. One time Jake had even sprinted across the house to beat you to the door.

"Don't worry. I know who it is," you say. Jake gives you a concerned look but then nods a little bit. His eyes trail after you as you make your way to the entry hall.

You open the door to Javy's tall form and are immediately wrapped in a tight warm hug. You lean into his embrace, enjoying the comfort for a moment.

"Is it really bad?" Javy asks you in a low voice when you pull away from his hug.

You shrug but then follow it up with a nod. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Maybe not? But it's the worst I have ever seen."

Javy gives you another reassuring squeeze before he saunters into the house towards the living area. Jake's eyes are trained on the hallway, clearly waiting for you to come back. However, when he sees Javy, he blanches, dropping his eyes back to the puzzle. Jake's shoulders hunching tight almost up to his ears.

"Hey, Hangman," Javy hums.

"Machado," Jake says gruffly, fiddling with a piece.

Javy shocks you by not immediately going over to Jake. Instead, he meanders over to your TV. He shocks you even more by opening a drawer in the entertainment center and pulling out an Xbox. Javy starts hooking up the console, and you shift your eyes to Jake again.

He is still sitting there digging through his puzzle pieces. You aren't sure what to do. If you should leave the two of them alone, join Javy in the living room, or go back to the table with Jake. So instead, you end up in a weird middle ground lingering in the hallway. Finally, when Javy has everything set up, and the Xbox booted on, he goes over to Jake. Coyote sets his hands down so hard on Jake's shoulders that it jostles the blond a bit.

"Wow, buddy, this is a nice puzzle," Javy says casually.

Jake just hums in response, placing a puzzle piece and tapping it twice. Only answering once he picks up another piece. "It's a watercolor by Frederic William Burton. He painted it in — "

"It's time for a break, Hangman," Coyote says, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Naw, you see this section," Jake gestures generally towards the entire surface area of the puzzle. "It's almost done."

"Nope, it's break time," Javy repeats more firmly.

Jake's shoulders hang, and it looks like it takes him physical effort to stand up from the table. Jake's joints and back audibly pop from the action, and he raises his hands above his head to fully stretch.

You try to root yourself in concern, not thinking of the flash of skin you saw where Jake's shirt rode up a bit. Jake blinks a few times, and when he finishes stretching, he turns to fully look at Javy.

"How long are you staying?" Jake asks, daring to glance back down at the puzzle. Javy snaps his fingers in front of Jake's face twice and then points aggressively toward the couch.

"As long as I want to," Javy responds with an upbeat tone and a wide grin. He gives a light shove, and Jake shuffles over to the couch. Jake looks at you as he walks, and you can tell that he feels betrayed.

"I'll leave you to it," you say, ready to retreat into your room.

Jake looks away from you then, and you don't like the flash of embarrassment on his face as he does. It's been odd seeing Jake so completely out of his element and uncomfortable in his skin the last few days. Embarrassed wasn't a look that fits well on Jake. It made you want to rush in and remedy the situation.

"You don't gotta go," Jake calls to you.

"Javy came over to hang out with you, Jake." You say plainly. You want to give them space to talk and hang out.

"Yeah, bro, feeling the love," Javy says jokingly. It earns him a sharp jab to his side from Jake. The action just makes Javy laugh, though. "Don't worry so much, Hang. Marlee is coming by later with dinner, and then all four of us will kick back, but right now, it's me, you, and the Master Chief."

"You'll hang out with us later, though? Or are you doing something tonight?" Jake asks, ignoring Javy.

"There is nothing I would rather do tonight than hang out with you," you tell him. Jake's eyes snap up from where they had drifted to the left, lowered just enough not to meet yours. The burning bright color in them is startling after the dull, distant look he has supported the last few days. You can't stop the words you say next, needing to try and back peddle. It takes a long beat before you say, "and Marls and Javy. I don't know if you've ever had Marlee's green chile enchiladas, but they are to die for."

"They are so good," Jake agrees enthusiastically and looks down at the controller he is holding for the first time. Javy then shoots you a smile with a thumbs up, and you are reassured enough that you head upstairs and into your room.

You hear Javy's voice behind you, "You know Marlee only cooks for two reasons."

You close your door before hearing Jake's answer and resist the urge to eavesdrop. A few hours later, you hear loud yelling and laughter from the living room. Then get a text from Marlee to send the boys to help her get the food out of her car.

The rest of the night is mostly light, and Jake almost passes for his normal self. He jokes with Coyote, eats two helpings of Marlee's enchiladas, and with you... well, with you, he is hot and cold. One moment Jake will be flirting with you in a heavy bravado, then the next, he falls into a quiet, contemplative silence. Javy has to herd Jake away from his puzzle three separate times. It gets easier to draw Jake back in every time; the last time only took a question directed toward Jake to draw him back to you guys.

It is a good night, and everyone seems happy at the end. Jake hugs Javy and Marlee goodbye and leaves you to walk your friends out. You let out a small sigh of relief, seeing Jake walk up the stairs and not back to the dining room table.

You talk with the couple for a few more minutes on the front porch, then hug them goodbye. You are thankful for them, to have such good friends who are willing to be a support system, for you, for Jake, and for their other friends too. It warms your heart, and it feels a lot like family.

Jake's puzzling is less frenzied after that night, and he starts to reign back in. He has full conversations with you again and goes to the gym after work as well. He follows Javy's rules that had been texted to you both and doesn't puzzle by alone again.

For the next week or so, Javy and Marlee end up in your living room in the evenings. Keeping Jake from becoming too obsessed, you also notice that he won't let Javy or Marlee touch his puzzle pieces. But when Jake does work on the puzzle, and you are home, he always invites you to join him.

Jake makes an effort to converse with you while working too. The conversations you two get into range from academic to childhood memories, favorites — books, movies, foods, bands, animals— funny stories, and anything else that would pop in your heads. Of course, each puzzle piece must still be double tapped into place, and you are meticulous about following that rule.

Puzzling in the evenings with Jake surprisingly becomes one of your favorite times of the day. Sometimes you would even just sit there at the table with Jake, scrolling on your phone while he works on the puzzle.

Hangman's presence is a comforting steady grounding force, so much so that you can only hope you provide half of that for him. You knew you were roommates, and Jake may not carry the same romantic feelings you do. However, you couldn't deny the plain platonic affection that poured from him, so much you sometimes think M aybe . Maybe he does feel more.

When you enter the kitchen, you see the puzzle is finished. You go to examine it and realize two pieces are missing. You feel a bit of worry creeping up in you, not sure how Jake will react to having lost pieces and being unable to complete the puzzle.

You start to look around, checking every chair and bench to make sure a piece hasn't fallen. You shine a light under the couch in case they slipped under there. Then you are flipping up the edge of the rug in the living room and trying to think of any other feasible place the pieces could have disappeared.

"What are you doing?" you hear, and you snap your head to see Jake standing on the other side of the couch, looking at you bemused.

"Sorry, I was just looking for your missing pieces," you say, straightening up and fixing the rug.

Jake quirks an eyebrow then he follows your gaze to the table where his puzzle is. Jake's mouth drops open, lips barely parted, and a soft "Oh." falls out like he didn't even make the sound intentionally.

"No luck so far, though. I'm sorry. I'm sure they will turn up. Only so many places they could have gone," You say, making sure to project an upbeat, positive tone and attitude.

Jake looks between you and the puzzle twice before suddenly you are graced with the rarest of Jake Seresin's smiles. It is one you have only seen a handful of times. It's different than his smirk and his confident panty dropping smile. It's not the smile that he gets when he laughs, and his eyes crinkle around the edges or the mouth wide open smile. It's not his practiced perfect smile he uses for pictures.

No, this smile is closed-mouthed, those pearly whites hidden from view. It's a quirk of his lips like Jake is trying to hold it back from showing it on his face but he isn't entirely successful. His bottom lip is tucked a little bit between his teeth as if he is physically trying to bite back the expression, none of which prevents Jake's dimples from popping up.

It's a smile that always leaves you a little stunned, and this is no exception. Not that there are many things about Jake that don't leave you feeling that way. This smile, paired with the soft look in his eyes, makes you want to melt into the floor.

"I have the pieces," Jake tells you then. It takes you a few moments to process his words.

"Oh, you do?"

"Yeah, I do," he says and pulls out a ziplock baggie from his pocket with the two pieces in it.

"That's great!"

"They weren't lost. I was saving them, actually."

"Saving them for what?"

"For you. Well, for us."

You don't think you are able to hide your surprise at his words. "For us?"

"Yeah. You know, so we can finish this puzzle together. We worked on it together. So, we should finish it together. Few things match the feeling of putting the final piece of a puzzle into place."

God, you want to kiss him. You want to grab his face and smash your lips against his. You want to taste him and thread your fingers in his short dirty blonde hair. The little fantasy starting to form in your brain is cut off by Jake walking over to the table.

You follow him there, and Jake sets the last two pieces on the table, letting you pick which one you want. Once you make your selection, Jake grabs the other one.

"Okay, on three," he tells you with a grin. At his countdown, you both place the pieces of the puzzle. Automatically you double tap your piece into place. Jake was right; it is an extremely satisfying feeling finishing the puzzle and seeing it whole for the first time.

Your gaze drifts over the puzzle, and you look up to see Jake staring at you instead of the finished piece. After a moment, you realize what is wrong. Your hand reaches across and gently nudges Jake's to the side. Then you tap Jake's piece twice, realizing that for the very first time, he seemed to have missed that compulsion of his. However, you knew it would bother Jake when he realized he had forgotten, so you make sure to complete the ritual.

Jake's gaze snaps down to the piece you had tapped for him. Then his knuckles purposely brush against the back of your hand, sending shivers up your arm.

"Thank you," spills from both of your mouths at the same time, which makes you laugh.

"Jinx," Jakes says in a rushed voice, making you laugh harder. That odd tension in the air between you two disappears.

You walk into the kitchen and grab a white claw from the fridge, bringing it back for Jake, handing it to him. Jake is a strict enforcer of the jinx soda pop rule. The two of you look at the puzzle for a few more minutes. Taking in the stunning painting, the yearning and sadness of it never fails to impact you.

While the two of you had been working on the puzzle, Jake had told you many different facts about The Meeting On The Turret Stairs. How it was a watercolor painting by Frederic William Burton, the poem it was based on, the era it was painted in, and its place in Irish art.

When you asked Jake more, he surprised you by knowing hyper-specific details and answers off the top of his head. Intrigued, you learned how he had double majored at Annapolis in Aerospace Engineering and History. However, because Jake was golden boy Midshipman Seresin, he had gotten away with his final history thesis being art focused. Hangman more than understood how to be charming when he needed to be.

"What now?" You ask him.

"What do you mean?" Jake asks, confused.

"What do we do with the puzzle?" you ask. It sounds much better than what you wanted to say. What now between the two of you? What were you going to do to keep spending time together?

"We take it apart." Jake shrugs.

"No," you gasp, horrified thinking of all the time you had put into the puzzle just to undo it and throw it back in the box.

"What else would we do?" Jake asks you. You think for a moment before smiling at your own idea.

"Let's Mod Podge it, and then we can hang it up. We have some pretty bare walls in the house, and it is a stunning piece of art," you suggest.

Jake doesn't even take a moment to think it over before saying, "I love that idea."

So, you two are driving to the craft store to get cardboard and Mod Podge. A week later, the puzzle has been cemented and hung on the wall in between your and Jake's rooms upstairs. After the puzzle is finished, Jake is back into his sudoku and his various other reading books. He still lingers near you in the evenings, waiting longer than he used to before retreating to his room for bed.

One night almost a month after you two had finished the puzzle, Jake brings the subject up again. You two are lounging on the couch, he had just gotten home from watching the Army-Navy game at a bar with some of his friends, and he is definitely a little bit tipsy.

"I am going to build us a puzzle table," is the first thing he had loudly declared, walking in the door.

You were instantly worried about why Jake might want to start a new puzzle. "Is everything okay?"

Jake doesn't seem to hear you, though, as he continues on. "A really nice one that opens and closes with velvet or something so we don't have to worry about losing pieces, and maybe I can even make it an adjustable height?" He is talking to himself more than to you.

You watch as he grabs a notepad and pencil out of a drawer. Then he slumps on the couch. Before you know what's happening or can stop it, Jake has his head on your lap and is sketching design ideas, potential measurements, and materials.

"How are you doing?" you ask him again, staring down at his face, unable to contain your enamored smile. Jake just nods his head and keeps sketching while mumbling.

You run a hand through his soft hair tentatively. It is a bit longer than usual right now, almost out of regulation. He will need to get a haircut this week, but the strands are so soft, and you can't help but enjoy that there is a bit more there to run your fingers through. His eyes instantly close, and he hums contently at your touch.

"Hangman?" you ask him almost teasingly, halting your movements.

"Yes, sugar?"

"Are you okay?"

He blinks his eyes open and looks at you. Their gleaming sea glass green color is a little glazed over and so very soft. His mirth is open and obvious to you. "I'm so great. Navy won."

"That's great. Go Navy." A wide grin splits his face wide, and Jake's eyes actually crinkle closed, hiding their unique color from you again.

"That's right, Honey. Ooh ahh!" Jake responds automatically, making you both laugh, and maybe you had been drinking a little bit of wine before he came home; perhaps you were warm from that, or maybe Jake was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Your eyes lock with his, and your hands pull out of his hair. You let one drift trace his face helping him relax the furrow in his eyebrows.

"Why do you want to start a new puzzle?" You ask.

"No new puzzle. A new table." He corrects you. Jake taps his pencil on the notepad pointedly.

"For a new puzzle?"

"You liked doing a puzzle with me, right? Well, after the first bit, you liked it?"

"I loved it." The words slip out of your mouth before you can amend the sentiment to come off less forward.

"Me too,"Jake says and trails off for a moment. Then he continues asking, "So you would be open to doing another one with me? Just for fun this time, not my mental health." Jake doesn't say the last sentence with any bit of shame or embarrassment, which you admire. However, the vulnerability is obvious and glaring.

"Yeah," you confirm, once again having to run your fingers over his brow to relax his face.

"Perfect. I'm building the table, then. You can pick the puzzle this time."

You can't help but let your hands slip back into Jake's hair, and he returns to sketching on his notepad. It was a moment of quiet peace you knew you didn't ever want to let go of.

"Javy said that you don't like to do puzzles with other people, and that's what helps you pull out of the pit."

Jake's eyes don't leave his notepad, and he turns the page. You watch Jake start to scrawl the pros of a dovetail joint versus a dowel joint before he starts to draw it out as well. You almost don't think he will say anything back by the time he finally does.

"You aren't other people," Jake tells you, as he starts drawing in shading, which is completely unnecessary for anything beyond aesthetic. He bends the lines from a basic blueprint to a detailed drawing of a realistic table joint. It was distracting watching the engineer in him flow into the unexpected artist.

The idea that you ever had thought his talent for art and engineering were such radically different things was a bit funny. Now that you see him dance between the lines back and forth so elegantly that you understand it wasn't two competing sides of Jake. It was just him. It was how he worked and operated.

It was how he was Hangman and also Jake. It was how he could fill out sudoku then go to bed at 9 pm and how he could shoot pool until closing with the squad. It was how he was a cowboy and a pilot. It was how you wanted to cry a little bit, knowing he enjoyed you there, knowing you weren't like other people.

And you are struck with the thought that you don't ever want Jake to do a puzzle with anyone but you. You never want to see him sitting alone at three am with bloodshot eyes putting pieces into place again. And you don't even want to consider him explaining animatedly why he believes a piece goes in one color pile and not the one it was originally sorted to anyone but you.

You want to be selfish with Jake. You want to have him, and you want to keep him close, never letting go. Surely you could convince Jake to be yours. It was a selfish act that could be forgiven if you promised to cherish him. After all, there were worse things in the world than loving someone, so entirely the fact they might not love you to the same degree didn't hurt so much.

Jake flips to the next page in the notepad and starts to sketch out the living room. As he works, the living room table starts to look significantly different than your current one.

"Oh. It's for the living room?" You ask him.

At first, he just hums in response, but when he finishes rounding out a line, Jake lifts his pencil from the paper. It pauses there, poised and frozen, as he asks, "Do you want the dining table instead?"

"No." As you continue, the pencil falls back to the page, "It just wasn't what I was originally thinking."

"I could do a dining room table too. They could even be made of the same wood." Jake says. His green eyes broke from the page to glance up at your face for the first time in a while. He searches your face trying to gauge your reaction to his suggestion.

"Two puzzle tables?"

"Think of all the possibilities. We could do two puzzles at once." Jake gasps. You kind of hate the excited timbre that Jake's voice picks up at the idea, but you actually mostly love it.

"Just one puzzle at a time, please." You say, giving his hair a teasing gentle tug, ignoring the sharp inhale of his breath that immediately follows. You refuse to give away the unexpected thrill sent straight through your body that settles at your core. You have to consciously make sure your words do not fall out rushed, "I think it would be nice to have out here, comfier."

"I thought the exact same thing."

"Oh really?" You ask, amused.

"Yes, Ma'am. I've got two words for you, puzzle naps."

You huff a small laugh at him and bite your lower lip. He flips back to his first page of notes, where he had a small list of wood. He adds cherry to his list after oak.

"Juniper is really pretty," you suggest. He immediately starts to write down your suggestion with a little heart next to it. When Jake starts to shade in the heart, you feel like the one in your chest might actually burst out. Something very similar to butterflies was fluttering around in you, but it is much less nervous and rather born of pure fondness.

"Sounds beautiful. I'm sure it's perfect," Jake tells you.

"Let's pick one together, though. It should be our choice."

"No," Jake says, drawing an elegant oval around juniper. Then he goes back and strikes a straight line through the other options. "No one else has ever remembered to double tap."

Jake spends a few more minutes detailing the design before his eyes start to get sleepy, and his pencil marks become light and halting. It doesn't take much from you to encourage him to go to bed, just a whispered suggestion.

He stumbles up from the couch and places a kiss on your forehead. Jake puts his notebook on the counter in the kitchen. After that, Jake circles back to press a second lingering kiss to your forehead. You watch him go all the way around the house to double check the locks, the front door, the garage, and the back door. Finally, after sending you two finger guns, Jake drags himself up the stairs, humming Anchors Aweigh.

"Until we meet once more, here's wishing you a happy voyage home!" You loudly hear him sing. You listen to Jake as he hums his fight song while randomly peppering in other lyrics. When you finally hear him close his door, your mind makes a decision on the war it's been having.

You are going to do whatever it takes for Jake Seresin to agree to be yours. Potential consequences be damned; Jake is worth the risk.

#jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #jake seresin x you #Hangman imagine #Slow burn #Roley Coley's writing #part 1 #Double tap #Hangman x you #house we share

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breedable-bunnyblue · 5 months

Text

Uh idk how this works but i guess this is my limits or DNI list Plus introduction idfk

18+ only Blog

avatar is a picrew until i maybe draw something else up myself

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i have an amazon wishlist now, if you want to buy me anything I'll leave a tag to its location

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So uh hi im Blue , He/Him 22 submissive generally speaking.

I'm trans gay male do not post any of my posts on WLW blogs or any post involving women.

IM NOT A FUCKIN LESBIAN STOP REBLOGGING ME ON YOUR LESBIAN ACCOUNT/Mendonotinteract ACCOUNT FFS

Do not interact with my blog if:

you are a minor

you are a woman yes trans women that includes you. you are women. why do you keep asking me if you can interact 😭 (NBs/genderflud people are fine i keep getting asks)

you are WLW or are exclusive attracted to women

you are a Straight man

you are a Detrans kink blog

blank blogs are gonna get blocked

if you are any of those you will be immediately blocked just leave my account alone, if you dont list age or if you dont list anything in bio ect you will be blocked

Do not make any comments or asks or whatever about

R*pe/ SA

Scat or piss play

detrans/forced fem

knife play/gun play (at least not with actual cutting or anything that's an absolute no)

incest

pedo shit

zoos

( pretty much anything illegal or gross just keep it away from me ty)

Stuff im into

(R- receiving G-giving)

Breeding breeding breeding breeding 🥴🥴🥴 (r)

pregnancy in the way of getting knocked up or like roleplaying it for a scene but not actually wanting to get pregnant? if that makes sense 😅

Monster fucking

Cnc (r/g)

bdsm

edging (r/g)

public sex/public play (in theory never tried)

being tied up/restrained (r/g)

intoxication? / weed (in theory never tried)

Regency (prince/knight)

i think i have a mommy kink ☠️ (as in being called mommy ((but I AM MALE THIS IS NOT IN A DETRANS OR ANY OTHER WAY OTHER THAN FOR SOME FUCKING REASON MY DICK THINKS ITS HOT))

power bottoming if im in the mood

puppy doms/tops (i have a extreme horny fuckinf idEK it makes me really wet to think of calling a guy puppy)

daddy kink slightly but no DDLB/Age play (as in calling somone daddy PLEASE DONT CALL ME THAY DJDJSK)

pet names like Bunny, angel, kitten,ect are all good (you can try others with me if you'd like ill tell you if i dont like them)

slight doctor kink? (r)

hucow kink/milking but i dont post about it cuz im embarrassed the only way you get that out of me is DM or private asks (r)

sending nudes (srs if you want some just ask)

honestly itd probably be faster to just write things that dont turn me on

Asks are welcome though!! (pl EAs E) anon or not, feel free to send me messages there. 👉👈

*** general about me

like videogames (Bloodborne is my favorite)

music taste generally Alt or emo (MCR, Peirce the veil, low roar, the entirety of the Bloodborne soundtrack, idk i listen to a lot of music and just dont know the bands but vibe with it)

I have pets, if you want to send me animal pictures thats cool we can trade. (2 dogs, 3 cats, 2 parakeets)

i have chronic pain and migraines, lots of health issues but thats likely to stay off the blog unless i think of something horny about it.

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

#wishlist link #Me #<pics #monster kink #ftm ns/fw #mlm nsft #ftm nsft #send nsft asks #t4t nsft #send naughty asks #ftm breeding #ftm bottom #power bottom #ftm power bottom

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fictionfixations · 11 days

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signature spells and the person

(referencing this list because i cant remember them all)

spoilers for all books. and glorious masquerade

(note that some characters i dont know well at all. which you can kind of tell with me being super unsure. there's this person in the reblogs who elaborated on bits i wasn't quite correct on or didnt have an idea on so go read it!)

signature spells embodying the person sort of? Riddle - collar. restriction. limitations.

Deuce - not taking hits lying down. striking back. (a reckless idiot like that)

Cater - hm.. putting on an act for everyone? people pleaser? so its like. all of those little 'acts' and 'personas' he puts on are sort of 'him' in a sense. but its also not him at the same time. (like how the clones arent actually him because they're just a creation of his magic. but they are him in a way, too right?)

trey - sneaky sneaky guy who notices a lot more than you'd think. presents himself as one way but he's complicated

Leona - sand. like all his hard work turning to sand, or basically nothing.

Jack - wolves work in packs, right? he wants to work in a pack. (even though he says he doesn't). they're strong, but they do better together. ..probably. idk.

Ruggie - treating all people 'equally' (in the sense that he'd mess with them all. unless they were a serious trouble to deal with) also sucks up to people........ (and probably laughing at them behind their back for being such a 'fool' haha get it. because fool's parade..--) maybe? Idk.

Azul - exchanging his old self for an asshole basically (because he must've been a nicer guy as a bby. but then ppl were mean to him and now he's very bitter.)

Jade - acting like the more calmer and reasonable of the twins, even though he can be just like floyd, if a bit more dangerous considering he can get under your skin, get you trust him, that he just wants to 'help you'. and you tell him all your secrets. and then it 'shocks your heart' when he reveals his true colors. (like bruh. his halloween groovification message was literally, "Oooh, I love it when you flee in terror. It makes me want to chase you!")

Floyd - i don't know. uhhh. in his lab coat(?) vignette there's this moment where a guy bumps into him, is like 'hEY WHO DO YOU--' and then realizes its floyd and backs off. basically the guy who intimidates them to make them weaker, ig? terrorizing them. 'binding the heart' in fear. i mean he'll still hurt them ofc, but the point is is that he's the scary one, jade's the 'calm' one, thats his image to people. i dont know him nearly well enough to really get it.

Kalim - wishing for everyone to be happy. to dance and sing and forget about all the troubles. throwing parties and feasts to cheer them up (and granting them relief when needed). although it doesn't always end well and his attempts can end up 'useless', like how oasis maker is 'useless' when people already have easy access to water. but at other points desperately needed.

Jamil - turning him into the 'master' and the other the 'servant'

Vil - planting 'curses' in plain sight. masking it. disguising it. acting. like putting on makeup to change something. maybe. possibly. (this is weak) maybe a false reassurance. a mask.

Epel - accepting who he is (that he's short and seen as 'cute'. and so using it to his advantage.) like, seeming 'soft and dainty' but actually a guy who can beat someone up. like, 'you'll just go to sleep..' (and then the crimson part of slumber with a negative meaning. the poison apple. something that looks innocent but is actually harmful.) and then you never wake up again because you were TRICKED HAHAHA /hj

Rook - will literally do anything for what his fixations are. in which his fixations are 'beauty', which is a very vague category and include literally everything. also very very creepy and stalker-ish in the process.

Idia - honestly idfk. uh. 'responsibility'. burdens. control. it literally just represents a part of his job? idfk. its such a big part of him (also his family had the same UM so like..) that its just. who he is.

Malleus - there was this quote he said about how 'when you nap, even 500 years could pass without you noticing'. so it could be something like how time moves by so fast like that

guh.. it was "Give in to slumber, and a thousand years will pass in the blink of an eye."

Silver - I don't know him that well... i mean like there's references to him having parallels with like. i think.. aurora?? the girl who maleficent cursed. i think. dreams and wishes. i don't know i havent even seen him use it yet LMFAO (ive only finished part 2 of book 7..) maybe like. things not seeming real..? idk man. a desire to see people, to stay by their side, but can't, so instead it'll be in a dream. so either it isn't real, a mere fantasy, or, shrug. like. yknow the remember me song in coco? it's like 'and everytime you hear a guitar you'll remember and think about me' (i cant remember the exact lyrics)

Sebek - admires malleus. a lot. malleus has control over lightning or something. so sebek in turn becomes that 'lightning' that he can control, as his guard and stuff like that. 'i will be his sword', maybe.

lilia - he reflects a lot about the past imo. overly aware of things and the passing of time. at least in my opinion. how things can pass by so easily. so he takes little bits and pieces to cherish for the rest of his life, and to think back on. a trip back down memory lane, as they say.

Rollo - literally gets set on fire like his brother..?? that thing forever haunting him that its such a big part of him at this point (hating magic and hating what happened.) and him hating himself making himself see him as part of the reason why his brother died, and therefore making him literally the thing that killed him sort of?

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collapsedglasshouses · 3 months

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PLEASE SHUT UP || Nick Ruffilo x fem!Reader [Part Two]

READ PART ONE HERE.

PICTURE FOUND ON PINTEREST

SUMMARY: This is based on a request by @yumikitten (you can read the request in part one if you want to c: )

WARNINGS: SMUT [oral sex, female receiving; fingering], MDNI, angst, fluff, nick being an asshole, enemies to lovers, ...

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @thatchickwiththecamera @cookiesupplier @jilliemiw86

A/N: Hey! I hope you're all doing well! Here's Part 2! I think I don't have much to say today. So enjoy and consider reblogging, if you liked it. (also its not really proof read im sorry) Thank youuu!

The past few days had been more than tough. Nick and Y/n were avoiding each other so much that they didn't even acknowledge one another anymore. The other guys in the group were beyond frustrated. Every sound check became a gloomy affair, with everyone in a bad mood. The frustration reached a point where the boys couldn't take it anymore, and they started making snarky comments to Nick and her.

Currently, they all sat together on the living room couch during their days off from the tour, which only made things worse since they were still living together. While the rest of the group chatted, Y/n and Nick remained silent. Normally, Y/n would have retreated to her room, but Noah insisted she should stay in the living room. He had had a sincere conversation with her about how the situation couldn't continue like this and that Nick and her needed to resolve whatever was going on between them.

The problem was Y/n had no clue what was going on in Nick's mind. She couldn't stop replaying the moment he kissed her and how she didn't immediately put a stop to it. Her thoughts were a mess, making it impossible for her to focus on anything. Despite managing not to make another mistake during their performances, everything else was chaotic, especially Nick's confusing behavior.

As Y/n took a sip from her water bottle, her attention involuntarily returned to Nick. He was looking at her, but as soon as she noticed, he averted his gaze. Y/n felt like she was about to burst. She endured the tension for another twenty minutes before sighing and deciding to call it a night.

She paid no attention to the look Noah shot her. She had reached her limit and just wanted some time alone.

“Good night, guys.” She mumbled to the boys and didn’t even wait for their responses, before she stood up and dragged herself up the stairs and straight into the bathroom. She quickly began her evening routine. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before looking in the mirror. She looked like she hadn’t slept properly in days, which was in fact true. There wasn’t a night, where she hadn’t been lying in bed, thinking about the chaotic situation she was currently in.

She sighed before looking at the laundry rack, in hopes to find a shirt she could sleep in but when she didn’t see one of her own, she just mindlessly grabbed one of the shirts hanging there and decided to wear it, like she always did. Right as she was finished changing, she turned to the door and jump in fear.

Nick was standing in the door frame, looking at her with an intense gaze.

“What the hell are you doing?” She exclaimed in surprised and hugged herself, wondering how long he had been standing there.

“Just… wanted to brush my teeth.” He mumbled. Y/n realized how this had been the first couple of words the two had exchanged since their fight. For a second, she looked at him, standing in front of the sink. He looked just as exhausted than her; strands of his messy bun falling onto his shoulders.

Y/n took a deep breath before walking to the door, but right before she left, she began to hesitate. She again looked at her former friend, her mind racing as fast as it gets.

Nick noticed her gaze while brushing his teeth, so he looked at her through the mirror. Even though every look he shot at her was kind of painful now, he tried to hold her gaze. His eyebrows shot up, wondering why she hadn’t already left, while Y/n was struggling with herself.

“Can-…” She began. “Can we talk?”

She knew she wasn't the one who should have taken the initiative, but she had Noah's voice in her head the whole time, telling her it couldn't go on like this. She knew that too. She didn't want to go on like this either.

Nick took the toothbrush out of his mouth, a brief uncertainty crossing his face. There was a momentary hesitation in his expression, as if he weighted his options before answering. His eyes flickered for a moment, before he slowly began to nod. After that he washed out his mouth. “Not here though…”

Now Y/n nodded, almost crumbling under the tension that danced between the two.

They quietly walked into Y/n’s room, trying not to catch the attention of anyone downstairs and quickly found themselves sitting on her bed. After that silence came over them again.

The room felt suffocating, the unresolved tension between the two creating a invisible barrier between the them. As they sat on the edge of the bed, the silence became more and more unbearable, each passing seconds underlining the weight of the words that seemingly wouldn’t come out.

Y/n’s gaze lingered on Nick, her eyes mirroring a mixture of frustration and longing. She couldn’t shake off the memories of that unexpected kiss and it echoed in her mind like a constant reminder of the cruel nothingness between them.

Nick shifted uncomfortably, his eyes avoiding hers. The guilt of his impulsive actions weighed heavily on him, and he felt the need to explain what was going on, but he seemingly couldn’t bring a word out.

“You know… I’m not good with words.” Nick mumbled quietly.

“Oh, really? Wouldn’t have noticed without you saying that.” Y/n answered him just as quietly.

Y/n’s heart pounded in her chest as she tried to find the right words.

“We can’t keep going on like this.” Y/n admitted, her voice almost breaking while speaking out her thoughts. “We used to be so close and now it feels like we’re literal enemies living under the same roof.”

Nick sighed; his gaze fixed on the floor. "I know," he responded, the weariness evident in his voice. "I just... I don't know how to fix this."

Y/n nodded, taking in the first nice words Nick has said to her in the last months. "Neither do I," she admitted, her eyes meeting his. "But we can't keep going on like this. It's affecting everyone, not just us."

For a moment, they locked eyes, a silent understanding passing between them. The weight of the unsaid words hung in the air, but there was a mutual recognition that something needed to change.

Silence set over them again. Y/n felt like she was going to have a heart attack. Before she could even think, the words came out of her. “I can’t stop thinking about the kiss. It keeps haunting me.”

Nick's eyes softened as he listened, realizing the impact of his actions. "I didn't mean to complicate things," he admitted. "I just... I don't know what came over me."

Ignoring his statement, Y/n finally got the question out she wanted to ask him so desperately. “What did I do to you to make you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you, Y/n.” – “Then why do you keep acting so mean towards me?”

Nick sighed, again, not knowing what to say to her. Her presence made him slowly go crazy.

Y/n swallowed hard, turning to him. “I’m willing to move past this, if you finally tell me what I did wrong, Nick.”

“You did nothing wrong.” He mumbled, trying to avoid her gaze but seemingly unable to look away. God, he loved looking at her, but it was his own fault that he wasn’t able to do so anymore. Just because he was childish enough to think everything would magically go back to normal. “I don’t know why I’m being an asshole to you.”

“See, this is where you’re lying.” – “What do you mean?” – “You know exactly why you’re doing this.”

Nick sighed again and ran a hand through his hair.

“I-…” Nick started but hesitated. When he saw Y/n shout him a reassuring gaze, he started again. “I just don’t want to ruin our friendship entirely.”

“I think you already did that, Nick.” She coldly answered him, while her insides were turning upside down. She wanted to hate him for everything he did, but every time she tried, something kept pulling her back to the vision of them being as close as they used to. Even closer.

Nick reached for Y/n’s hand and took it into his own. “I’m really sorry, Y/n. I’m really sorry what I did to you.”

“Why, Nick? Just tell me why?” She asked him, desperation laced over her gaze.

“You know what? Sometimes it is hard to look at you.” Nick blurted out, not exactly sure if she would get what he was trying to say.

“What do you mean?” Y/n asked confused, hurt written all over the face.

Nick sighed in frustration. “You know, this is exactly what I mean. I’m not good with words and I’m a fucking idiot. How am I supposed to tell you how much I love you when I’m not even able to confront these feelings myself?”

Y/n’s eyes widened. “You what?”

Nick felt his heart sank in his chest. He realized his mistake the second it slipped out. He started to panic. His mind was racing. How the fuck should he go on from that.

“What did you just say?” Y/n whispered to him, her heart almost jumping out of her chest. Everything was tingling. She didn’t even know how badly she needed to hear Nick’s words. How badly she wanted him to tell her he didn’t hate her. But hearing those words slip out of his mouth, almost let her fall to her knees.

Nick’s mouth was slightly opened, when Y/n scooted closer to him. He felt like he was going to explode. Never in his entire life he had allowed himself to be this vulnerable to anyone. Not even Noah.

Y/n was so close to him, he could almost feel her breath on his face.

“Say it again, Nick.” She pleaded with him, her knees touching his.

“I love you, Y/n… And I tried to distance myself and didn’t notice how cruel I became until it was too late.” He whispered and noticed how his eyes flickered to her lips for a second.

Y/n was going to burst into a million little pieces. Nick loved her.

Without even thinking, she sat on his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck, while his hands held her firmly by her hips.

“Say it again.” She begged again, while leaning closer to him.

“I fucking love you, Y/n.” He breathed against her lips and with that Y/n leaned in and without another word, their lips met in a tender kiss. Y/n couldn’t help but sigh. It felt like every ounce of doubt left her body when she felt his lips press against hers again. She craved him. She wanted him to be good to her so bad.

When Y/n slightly grinded on his lap, his grip on her hips became tighter and she swore she heard a soft tone escape his lips. Even though they both felt like they were going to suffocate any minute, neither of them dared to pull away.

Nick’s hands squeezed her waist softly while he licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance that she granted. Their tongues danced in a slow and passionate way. He bit her lip, causing her to moan softly. Y/n’s hands roamed into his hair, tugging on it gently.

When they finally pulled away, it wasn’t for long. For a short second they stared into each other’s eyes, both filled with lust and desperation.

Almost immediately Nick sank his head and kissed down her neck, causing Y/n to breathe heavily. Everything tingled. She couldn’t form a straight thought. All she could think about was Nick and how he told her he loved her.

She felt him smile against her skin as he sucked the flesh on her neck until he left a mark. He needed to make sure to never let go of her again.

“Did you notice you grabbed my shirt from the rack?” He whispered against her skin, making her shift a bit to look down on herself. She shook her head, to flustered to form words.

“I like it on you.” He whispered and peppered small kisses on her cheeks. “But I think I’ll like it even better on the floor.”

Nick didn’t need to tell Y/n twice and with a swift motion she pulled the shirt over her head. Nick almost moaned at the sight of her naked body. He couldn’t believe she was sitting on him, only wearing her panties. He was rock hard. This was literal dream material to him.

“You are so so beautiful.” He whispered while caressing her breasts. Y/n took a shaky breath when his lips travelled from her neck to her collarbone and eventually to her breasts; slightly biting on her nipples. Y/n felt like this was a dream. It couldn’t be real. Not even a day ago, they couldn’t even look at each other and now she wanted nothing else but to feel him.

Her hands landed on his long hair again. God, did she love his hair.

“Gosh, Nick.” She moaned out, causing Nick to cover her mouth with one of his hands.

“We don’t want the others to hear us, do we?” He mumbled, looking her directly into her eyes. She slowly nodded. “Good. Be good for me, alright?”

She nodded again, feeling heat shoot to her core.

With a swift motion, he laid her on her bed, not letting go of her. His kisses started to travel down her stomach. When he arrived at her hip bone, he looked up at her again. “Is that okay?”

Y/n nodded.

“Use your words, Y/n. I need to be sure this is okay.”

“Gosh, Nick. Yes. Please.” She whined, wiggling with anticipation under his grip.

Nick laughed sweetly, before pulling down her underwear. Then the kisses began again. She felt like her skin was burning as Nick kissed along her hip bone before slowly moving down to her thighs. He was now fully kneeing in front of the bed, getting a perfect view of her wet folds.

He peppered soft kisses along her thighs and here and there she felt him sucking on her skin, making sure to leave marks that he could admire later. Y/n felt how she slowly grew impatient, whining and wiggling in his grip, but Nick didn’t let that happen. He was going to take his time with her.

His hands travelled to her hips, holding her steady against the mattress as his tongue licked its way to her core. He only let go of her with one hand, to let his fingers feather over her folds for a second. Right as Y/n was about to protest again, he attached his mouth to her clit.

Y/n quickly covered her mouth with her hand to muffle the piercing moan that threatened to escape her throat. It felt so good, she was sure she wasn’t going to last long but she was so concentrated on not alert her other friends downstairs that she didn’t dare to speak up.

When she felt surer, she wouldn’t just full-on scream, she whined out. “Nick… Fuck. It feels so fucking good.” Y/n didn’t even realize how bad she had needed Nick to touch her. It felt like he was made to be between her legs.

Nick moaned against her core because of her statement. The vibrations of his voice made her thighs tremble.

Right when Y/n felt like it couldn’t get any better, he slowly inserted his fingers into her. She gripped the bedsheets so hard, she feared she would rip them.

She wasn’t even able to tell him how close she was when the waves of her orgasm already started to wash over her. She bit her lip so hard while shaking uncontrollable under his touch, trying to contain her moans.

She felt how his hand drew small circles on her hips, while he slowly pulled his fingers out of her. She looked at him, still not able to control her breathing, just in time to see how he licked his fingers clean of her arousal.

She leaned up on her elbows and shortly after, Nick and her lips met in a sweet kiss. She could taste herself on him and felt like she was going to crumble again. She couldn’t really process the events evolving in front of her, but she knew she wanted to stay like this forever.

This was when she noticed Nick’s hard cock against her naked thigh. While still kissing him, one of her hands started to travel down his body but before she could even reach his hardened member, he grabbed her wrist softly.

“I wanna help you, Nick.” She nearly whined out, desperate to get even closer to him, but Nick shook his head. “No, Y/n. This, right here, is all about you.”

He placed a kiss on her forehead. “I have to make up for the bullshit I fabricated over the last couple of months.”

Y/n looked into his blue eyes that she had been admiring since the second she had laid eyes on him. She felt how her heart warmed at the sight of him. He was looking at her like he used to, but now she could grasp what the emotions were behind his eyes. He admired her with such a deep love in his eyes, she felt like she was going to collapse.

This was when she noticed something.

“Nick?” – “Yeah?” – “I didn’t say it back.” – “You didn’t have to.”

With that he kissed her again, all their emotions flowing between them. She caressed his cheek for a second, before he pulled away again. His pupils were dilated again. “Now… Let me show you just how sorry I am.”

Y/n knew she wasn’t going to sleep much that night…

#bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fic #collapsedglasshouseswrites #nick ruffilo x you #nick ruffilo x reader #nick ruffilo fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo fic #nicholas ruffilo fanfic #nicholas ruffilo x reader #bad omens rpf #enemies to lovers #friends to enemies to lovers

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crepuscularious · 5 months

Text

mansion

another imagine inspired by a song LMOAFJSOFA

in this, miguel is a ceo of alchemax, ironic isnt it? lol, i couldnt think of anything else

also how come doja is the most problematic artist but could still manage to keep a song stuck in all of our heads?

lastly, thank you!?!?!? i was so surprised my shit is suddenly getting like 100 likes and reblogs, im kinda running out of ideas for songs but yall could req anytime. to the most sweetest fluff as well as the most sluttiest smut! <3 thank you!

ceo!miguel x fem!reader

"baby, can you call me back? i miss you. its so lonely in my mansion"

you had married a man who you hardly even known at first, no lie. you guys met through an app and it just stuck. you went through all kinds of dates and all kinds of sloppy, full of drool kisses. he later revealed to you that he was a rich man who was a ceo. apparently, he never showed his face to the public, he was some kind of lady gaga 2.0

miguel was the sweetest, yes he was protective, and gets mad easily, but he knows his limits, especially towards you. someone hurts you? off with their heads! someone said you werent good enough for him? off with their heads! you get the point

it has been a week since you last saw him, normally he would let you accompany him everywhere, whether its a personal matter or he needs to go overseas for his work. but this time, you had stayed at home

"im sorry, amor. i really want you to let you come with me. but you know how it is at work, i wont be able to spend time with you there anyways" those were the words miguel said before leaving.

now, here you are. waiting for your dear husband, patiently, a little horny, but most of all, lonely. you couldnt help but sleep with his pillow wrapped around your arms and a leg on top of it, pretending youre snuggling up to him at night.

*incoming call from: mi vida ❤️*

miguel looks down at his phone, even if he was in the middle of a very important meeting, he would stop anything for you. what if it was emergency? what if she was bored? or worse, what if she was in the mood for phone sex!?

"hello, amor? whats wrong, mi vida?" miguel asks, holding a finger up to the line of his workers sitting down, as well as the person who was presenting a presentation to him

"i miss you, when are you coming home?" you asked, an obvious pout on face

"mi corazon..." he said in a certain tone, as if he was telling you he already answered this question a thousand times and was tired of hearing your pleas of coming back home.

"im sorry, i know youre busy. i just miss you, i cant sleep at night, you know" you said

"i know, mi vida. please understand, i love you so much. ill come back as soon as possible. okay?"

this scenario happened a few times for a week. he told you he was coming back in two days, but days has passed and hes still no where to be found. not to mention the very small texts he has been sending you

you were so saddened about everything, you missed your husband, very dearly. you just wanted to cuddle and squeeze him to death

*calling: mi guapo <3*

the text on your phone said, but he doesnt answer and it goes to voicemail

"baby, can you call me back? i miss you, its so lonely in our mansion"

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cosmos-dot-semicolon · 21 days

Text

Act 1, and Leshy's relationships with the other Scrybes

There was a post on here a while ago about Leshy outright hating Magnificus more than P03, and one interesting observation was that he cuts the Wolf's stats, but boosts the Stoat's. I think there's more you can gather from Leshy designing around the other Scrybes, though:

GRIMORA:

Leshy seems to be the most amiable with Grimora. Yes, I think this probably comes a bit from the dev finding their aesthetics and gameplay styles easier to pair up, but I think's its also a little bit because she values fun quite strongly, which meshes well with his focus on lore: both things that aren't purely gameplay based unlike the weirder mechanics of the west-side Scrybes.

Similar to Leshy in act 2, none of her puzzles really cause any harm to her subordinates. It's meant to be some fun flavour plot for the player to engage their brains with before the battles. Honestly, the amount of times she says 'Marvelous!' alone should convince you of her priorities (outside of destroying the world!)

Leshy goes out of his way to design a totally new card for Grimora, which doesn't appear anywhere in act 2 or Kaycee's mod.

It's the only one with a sigil on it - it's a fragile card, but it requires more actual strategy than playing the non-sigil Wolf and Stoat.

One line of dialogue remarks that he wishes he had kept Grimora around, as she was at least a worthy challenger.

He says that the Stinkbug is weak, but other than that accepts you having it in your deck. Compare that to him absolutely hating the Stunted Wolf on sight.

If you look closely in the finale, Grimora has an insect crawling across the table in her campaign. I don't know if it's really a stinkbug, persay, but it's an interesting parallel to his choice of her species.

Someone has said before that there are notably more insect cards than any other species in act 1, which also plays into him being closer to her than the others.

Bones are literally the secondary currency in his campaign, whereas energy doesn't appear at all, and sigils are limited to a single map event.

stinkyyyy

MAGNIFICUS:

Between Leshy actively saying he hates Mag's card once you first get it (versus one line about the Stinkbug being weak), and him literally stabbing the guy's eye out, it's safe to say Leshy fucking hates this guy. I've seen different theories on this, between the clashing gameplay and Leshy being kinder to his subordinates, but the one I've thought was the most interesting was that Magnificus is arguably, the most powerful Scrybe.

He's the only one who does have a plan to get Leshy's takeover back to normal, and the other two Scrybes are desperate for you to find him in act 1 because of it. He has future vision, he writes letters to the others warning about potential takeovers, and you never see him scrounge for the OLD_DATA. correction in reblogs: i think it is mentioned that he has

I've always read Leshy's feelings towards Mag as jealousy, mixed with clashing ideologies. I don't think there's a single moment where the two agree on anything outside of act 3.

I don't have much to say on his card, gameplay-wise, as you get it very late. Honestly most of the Stunted Wolf's design is just foreshadowing that Leshy beat this guy up and stabbed out his eye, lmao, but it's still interesting to note that:

The Stunted Wolf is one of those cards that's a variant of another one (i.e. Wolf Cub/Wolf, Mantis God/Mantis), but it's notably the only one whose stats are worse than its predecessor.

At the same time, it only costs one blood, and it's the only 2-attack card to have that. Gameplay wise, this is to balance things out, but it hints towards Magnificus having been much more powerful in the past. Like it makes you ponder how fucking good it would be to start off with a one-blood 3-2 card.

Magnificus's only other gameplay feature in act 1 is the sacrificial alters (given his association with magic and sigils). These are fucking busted. God I wish I could have four sigils on a card in Kaycee's mod.

P03:

Leshy seems to not think very much of P03 (both in the sense of not acknowledging it and thinking it's not a good designer), but doesn't seem completely unwilling to work with him. I'd argue he's not really hostile towards P03, just very aggressively trying to push it into his own ideal of the world.

In Kaycee's mod, Leshy refers to him as a rival and not an enemy, which I think gives a good basis for interpreting how he views it. P03's breakup speech snapping at Leshy in act 2 is ultimately what gets him to question his intentions at all.

The mention that the stoat's suffering was real during the tutorial isn't really ever brought up again by Leshy. It's interesting to think about in hindsight, given that P03 being a robot means its the least likely to have experienced pain out of the four.

Combined with P03's remark that Leshy keeps him around just to suffer, and the later remark in act 2 that he thinks that it is noble to be a beast card, "even one as lowly as a stoat," this implies that Leshy's at the very least trying to get P03 used to his world, and almost hopes that he'll come to like it.

The unbuffed stoat is a really terrible card. All the 1-2 cards have some sort of gimmick to them to make them playable, but the normal stoat just doesn't at all. The buff to 1-3 is a gift from Leshy to P03, despite everything. It implies he at least thinks there's something that can be salvaged between them, in his own view.

And like. The buffed stoat is so so useful in act 1. The extra HP means it can take a hit from so many more cards and it's a solid foundation for basically any run.

The stoat's the only one of the talking cards without an animal family. Of course it is! Nature and technology are usually thematic opposites, especially compared to magic and death. P03 doesn't fit in here, but Leshy is still clearly trying to make it a foundational card in his campaign.

#inscryption spoilers #inscryption #inscryption analysis #inscryption leshy #dots dots dots #i may have needed to rewatch the finale bc i was unsure if the stinkbug was canon or only a grimora mod thing #anyways idk if anyone will read this but these guys are so fascinating and I need an actually decent take of them out on tumblr #so i guess i will have to do it myself.

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katsukisssstorm · 11 months

Text

one night is not enough

gojo x black reader

contains: oral (fem!rec) fingering, kissing, hickeys, strangers to lovers. lmk if i missed anything else!

18+ MDNI!

comments and reblogs are appreciated! follow me too if you want :) i have so many wip that i'm finishing up so that i can post them for you guys!

Gojo has never been interested in relationships, not one to limit himself to one person. He’d take a different girl every night over being with the same chick over and over again.

That is until he meet you.

Your sat at a booth not far from his, you and your friends had barely been in the club for an hour but gojo was getting impatient. He knew the moment he saw you dancing with your friends that he wanted you in his bed for the night, or for him to be in yours.

His eyes following the sway your hips, the way your short pink miniskirt would ride up over your chubby thighs, the way the rolls on your stomach poked out from the bottom of the tight black crop top that did close to nothing to hide your breasts.

Gojo couldn’t help himself as he gave a familiar smirk to Nanami before he’s sliding out of the booth. He fixes his white button up as he walks over towards your table.

It was cute the way you tried to act shy when he first approached your table, hiding behind your hands anytime he even looked your way, but the look in your eyes told him that this shy girl act you were trying to pull was nothing more than an act, you were nothing but trouble.

You were supposed to be something that he was going to have just for the night, he’d give you the best sex you’ve ever had and by the time the sun came up he’d be gone, your number already blocked and deleted.

However things changed the second you parted your legs and your folds glistened with your slick. now gojo has seen quite a few cunts in his life, but none of them have ever been as pretty as yours. the way your clit peaked out from between your puffy folds had the white haired man's mouth watering.

He couldn’t help himself as he leaned down and licked a long stripe from your entrance up to your clit.The taste of you on his tongue was addicting and he had to force himself not to find home between your legs. His mouth and chin were coated in your slick and you wasted no time, roughly connecting your lips to his.

His tongue pushes its way into your mouth, two fingers circling your entrance. You moan out as he pushes them into your pussy, stretching you open. Gojo lets his fingers fuck in and out of you quickly, a loud squelching sound bounces off the walls and goes straight to his aching dick.

Gojo pants when you finally pull away for air, the feeling of your lips against his enough to actually knock the air out of his lungs. His lips travel down to your jaw, sucking lightly on the skin before he’s moving down to your neck.

He sucks roughly on the sensitive spot below your ear as he adds another finger, curling his fingers as he sucks a hickey onto your neck. Your hands tangle in his white hair, urging him to hurry up and fuck you before your bringing his lips back to yours.

You watch with lust-filled eyes as Gojo quickly bites the edge off the condom wrapper before’s he’s rolling it down his dick. You take his member in your hand, giving it a few pumps before your positioning it between your legs, letting the tip rub up and down your slit. You line him up with your entrance and wrap your legs around his waist.

Gojo knows he’s in trouble the second he slowly sinks himself in your warm walls. His eyes are glued to spot between your bodies where the two of you are connected, watching as you swallow him inch by inch, until his hips are flush against the back of your thighs.

He pulls out, leaving nothing but the tip in before he’s slamming his hips into yours roughly. The sound of skin slapping skin mixes with your loud moans and gojo is positive he’s never heard nothing as beautiful, your pretty cries as he fucks into you is like music to his ears.

Gojo holds himself up with one hand and he brings the other one down to pull your bra down, exposing your nipples to the cool air, it doesn’t take long for them to harden and gojo waste no time, he brings his head down to capture one of your perky bubs in his mouth, swirling his tongue around your sensitive nipple as he continues to slam his cock into your cunt, his tip grazing your sweetspot every so often.

Your long pink nails tangle in his hair, roughly tugging at the strands as you bring his lips down to yours for another heated kiss.

Gojo knows your close, he can tell by the way your walls begin tightening around him, your moans getting louder and louder. He’s not to far either, his balls feel heavier and heavier with each slap to your ass.

He brings his hand down to rub fast circles on your puffy clit, your slick instantly coats his fingers and help as he rubs your clit faster. Your nails claw at his back as you cum, he doesn’t think its possible for your walls to clench down any more than they already were. But they do, your squeezing him so tight as if you dont want him to pull out. Not wanting the feeling of his cock dragging along your walls to disappear just yet.

Gojo lets himself kiss you again as he cums, already trying to figure out a way to see you again, and soon because one night is not enough

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utahlive · 1 year

Note

This ask isn't directly for Wilbur or the blog, but rather the person who runs this. A bit of an ooc ask about world building and expanding this universe since I'm invested

Are we as the audience perceived as people in this universe watching this show/documentary about Utah at our homes, sending in questions via telephone. Or are we just random people that show up in the gas station and keep coming back one by one at random times to talk about the "Dabi cosplayer". (I'd like the imagine the second one; just a but of faceless people pressed up against the glass outside asking the weirdest questions. Fits the vibe)

Do you, the owner of this blog, have a part to play in the universe? Are you the director to the show, a main camera man, or something else.

The fanart that's made for this blog, I'd like to imagine it's—again—just faceless people running up and slapping drawings they make on the convince store windows and running off, leaving the producers and Wilbur with it. Stuff like that :]

Im gonna be honest I said I was gonna do author q&a today specifically so I could answer this ask because I feel weird just answering it willy-nilly

I tend to be... pretty bad at storytelling. I always get wayyy too into my own head, and things get so complicated to a degree where only I can understand whats going on, which is something im obviously trying very hard to avoid. However I don't wanna sacrifice the story I want to tell, so I'm just doing my best here.

One of the biggest limitations right now is that I'm just struggling to explain exactly how the world works/the translation between "Utah" and irl/us. The biggest ones are time and what exactly is being aired, because obviously it doesn't take one whole day to answer two questions, but I don't have the energy to answer more than two q's per day. And of course the 'film crew' arent actually filming Wilbur while he's sleeping or anything like that, but it's hard to tell the story I want to tell without having scenes like that. Im hoping that things will get smoother as we go, but for now I've just been making it so that episodes that dont have 'transcript's in them aren't filmed (or have "artist rendition" notes), and lets say that even though its been over a month of answering questions for us, it's only been two or three weeks for wilbur.

As for what you guys are, you're viewers who are calling in from home! Kinda like a radio show. No one is physically showing up to the store or his house (that would be really funny though). I did have some scrapped ideas that I may bring back later about the film crew, but for now "they" dont have any deeper place in the story. I'm the camera man, I guess! I've been imagining it as just some guy with a camera in one hand, a headset to listen to calls, and a little paper pad to write down answers.

There are 886 asks in the inbox right now! Not all of them are asks, some of them are just comments about whats happening (which I love, I <3 hearing what you guys think) but unfortunately I can't answer all of them. I have a general outline so whenever I do pick story/plot asks, its ones that fit that outline, and every other time I just try to be funny.

nor/mal (jk. he/they/xe)

I was typing out the whole story and reasoning behind the pictures I chose but it was getting way too long (because I ended up going down a rabbit hole). Basically I found an old blog from 2010 where a girl had posted a picture of her room, it was a very positive post so I didn't think it would be offensive to use it (also there's a comment from 2016 on the blog post asking if the image can be used as reference, no reply, the author of the blog has not logged in for years). The bathroom was made in the Sims 4/I used pictures of my own dorm bathroom

smoked a blunt in the woods and thought about cwilbur's character arc a little too hard

im shy 👉👈

fucks me up that people continue to think about this blog after liking/reblogging

#utahlive #4th wall break #drugs #cw drugs

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skzoologist · 11 months

Text

Unfamiliarity [one]

word count: 10.3k

genre: Hybrid AU, no pairings

warnings: panic attacks, signs of PTSD, non-sexual nudity (not described, only mentioned), hints of being experimented at, past abuse, occasional curse words, hurt/comfort

summary: Ever wondered what would happen when the boys decide to just adopt a traumatised wolf off the street?

a/n: Here it is guys, the first chapter you voted for to be this long. I hope you're happy, because churning out from myself the words takes a long time, so you will have to live off of this for a solid month or two ._. It is a hybrid AU, but I only gave the characters animalstic features, nothing more. There will also be no romance here, only pure angst and platonic fluff. Either way, I hope you like this, and I also hope you won't come for my head because not all the boys are in the story yet. They will appear later, worry not, I just have plans for them :D

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in!Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

previous I masterlist I next

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅⋅•⋅⋅⋅•∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

My aching legs were taking me through the dark maze, abused paws tip-tapping against the cold concrete, avoiding trash and broken glass as best as they could on autopilot. My mind was swimming, head clouded from exhaustion. I hadn’t had anything to eat in so long. No matter where I went, there were always strays or entire packs in my way, territories making my survival harder. I only wanted some food, not to cross anyone’s path and cause trouble.

But life hated me, pointing at my cowering form with roaring laughter.

By the time the smell reached my nose and registered in my mind, two figures were advancing towards me -hybrids, my mind supplied amidst panicking-, their stances cautious but I cared not. No, as soon as I saw them approaching, gibberish words directed at me, I turned around and willed my legs to run away, not caring about what was in my way. Bumping into trash cans, stepping into bottle shards, none of that mattered when my life was on the line. I had made a mistake, not realising I had stepped into someone’s territory until it was too late. Even in my weakened state I knew I should have paid more attention, but what had happened, happened. All that mattered now was that I kept running, putting one long leg in front of the other and–

My laboured breath hitched in my throat, realising that they were behind me, close. A pathetic whimper left my parched throat as I choked up, gathering my last strength to somehow leave them behind.

But amidst my panic my side caught onto something and I crashed onto the cold concrete, new scars littering my already broken body. I just laid there for a few seconds, the world spinning, seemingly no air reaching my wheezing lungs, no matter how hard I tried to fill them.

A muffled step reached my flickering ears and they perked up towards it, freshly made adrenaline coursing through my veins as I shakily stood up, backing away from the threat in front of my gaze.

A guttural sound left my throat in warning.

My hind legs bumped into something and after a quick panic-induced glance, I realised that I was cornered completely. The figures kept slowly approaching me and I didn’t know what to do.

My mind tried to supply useful information, but it failed. Only my instincts worked at that moment, and that meant growling and baring my fangs full force, even as my vision started filling with dark spots, my dangerously rapid breathing only registering in my mind way too late.

The towering shadows were the last thing my hazy mind recognised as I collapsed, body having been pushed way beyond its limit.

I blamed the snow for all of this.

-.-.-.-

My consciousness arose from its slumber lazily, the process slow and painstaking.

Then suddenly it was ripped from its peaceful, clouded state from the sheer disgust my nose picked up; scents, extremely strong ones mixing together in a cacophony of chaos. The diabetes-inducing sweetness swirled with sour citrus and wilted flowers, sitting on top of the rotting smell of dirt and wood.

My nose scrunched up as my eyes watered, body shooting up from whatever bouncy material it was on previously. I hit the floor clumsily, senses jumbled and all wrong. My legs didn’t seem to want to work, bending in all the wrong directions, so I was reduced to a crawling mess on the floor, eyes desperately darting around to find any sign of outside.

A painful churn resounded in my abdomen and I forced my jaw shut, teeth loudly grinding together.

The world was a blur in my eyes, nothing made sense to my mind as I desperately made way for myself and just searched.

I couldn’t hold it back anymore and just emptied my already void stomach, pure acid burning my throat and tongue, coating the white surface in front of me. I heaved and heaved until I could finally breathe for a second and immediately regretted it, as it caused me to restart the whole process from the beginning.

I gripped onto whatever it was I was vomiting into and finally realised something, or rather, someone was touching me.

My form tensed, muscles that were slowly unwinding now spread thin like a string, ready to snap if winded up any further.

But I could not voice my protests or lash out, as I couldn’t keep my breath held any longer and that awful smell invaded my overly-sensitive nose yet again. My body shuddered as it suffered, voice broken as whimpers and undecipherable protests left my lips.

And yet, for some reason the alien warmth on my skin faded, the smell becoming less prominent.

After my stomach finally settled and I didn’t feel like I would try to empty it once again simply from taking a singular breath, I blinked my tear-filled eyes a few times and finally lifted my head.

I was alone.

Alone in a white and blue place, a room, my limb still gripping a white porcelain bowl tightly, skin seemingly matching its shade.

Skin.

My heart rate picked up in an instant, heavy breathing becoming laboured and stuttering.

I was in my human form.

The thought alone scared me, but I had no choice but to face reality. I was in an unknown, bright place in my most vulnerable form, surrounded by disgustingly strong smells. Ones that indicated a pack’s territory.

The blood froze into my veins, the thought finally settling into my mind with vengeance.

I was dead. Or worse, they planned to keep me, as a captive or…

No, no, that couldn’t be, surely. I couldn’t, no, not aga—

I shook my head vigorously, tears flying off from the force. Opening my eyes once more, I let out a shaky breath and looked around again, my hazy mind whispering the word ‘bathroom’, but it no longer held any meaning to me. My ears pressed impossibly closer to my head, tail curled around my body in a protective and comforting manner. I no longer held the energy to change forms, so I had to deal with this defenceless and shivering one for an unforeseen amount of time.

Noticing a big, hollowed out white place -that looked similar to the thing i puked into-, I crawled towards it, accidentally kneeling on something plush. Throwing a quick glance down, I saw things similar to those everyone wore and I knew my mind remembered the name but…

I ignored it as best as I could, not even the cold could convince me to wear something so awful smelling -the stench of a dead forest, drenched in rain and agony-, so I instead crawled into the smooth-surfaced place.

It was nice, I felt safer there as I huddled into a corner, hugging my knees, blanketed by my tail and just stared.

Stared at the place where the air came in from, where I could tell the other hybrids left to.

-.-.-

I had no idea how long my shivering form had been sitting there, unblinking, since the ‘bathroom’ had no glasses to see outside. But I knew they would come back.

And I was right.

I felt them before I saw them, well, him, the smell of rotting trees and mould invading my sensitive nose, causing me to tense up yet again. Bile crawled up my throat, but I forced it back down, not wanting to appear any more pathetic in front of the enemy who now stood there, having come in after some knocking sounds.

The male’s eyes widened as they took in my form, then his expression inexplicably softened and I just did not understand. What did that mean? I had never seen such a thing before, or if I did, I forgot about it a long time ago. But surely I would have remembered if someone looked at me like that, like…so weirdly.

My expression must have reflected my thoughts as the male took two soft steps into the room, his low voice filling the room in but a whisper.

“Here’s some food for you, please eat. And uh… p-put on the clothes too.” - the male muttered out, not meeting my gaze as his ears stooped lower. And only then did I realise that the other was a wolf hybrid, the grey appendages almost glowing against the dark-coloured palette he had going on.

After getting no reaction, the wolf left and I felt like I could breathe again, the smell of death and misery thinning.

I sat there for a while, waiting for my stomach to behave as I eyed the warm, inviting food.

It was probably tempered with, seeing the situation I was in. But I had no choice, exactly because of my accursed situation. I was quite literally starving and with no means of escaping, completely cornered.

So, with shaky limbs, I crawled to the food and shoved it into my salivating mouth, gripping a handful each time.

-.-

The food seemingly was not tempered with, which, quite honestly, boggled my mind. Why were they giving me the food then?

Above all, the wolf came back again later, his expression rapidly changing as he observed me and my surroundings. Ultimately, he sighed, his ears passively lowering as he crouched down to place the new food onto the floor, where the previous one laid once.

"You know, I can't imagine sitting naked like that in the bathtub is warm and comfortable. If nothing else, then use the sweater as a blanket, please. Nights can get cold, even in here." - his low voice softly murmured, deep chocolate eyes gently trained on my form.

For a second, I reconsidered my choices.

But ultimately, my stomach won as it twisted in discomfort again, the stench becoming unbearable as one of its sources was nearby.

Taking my silence as an answer, he left, a sad little smile sitting on his face.

I tilted my head in confusion.

Why would he be sad? I didn't understand.

But I got no time to ponder upon such things as my stomach loudly gurgled, the food's heavenly scent finally registering in my nose and head, pushing the nausea away.

It was messy, for sure, but the warm, delicious food brought tears to my eyes.

-.-.-.-

The so-called 'clothes' still laid there on the floor in a neat pile even after countless, similarly short and quiet visits from the wolf. He always said a few sentences, prompting me to answer in any way or to make me move from my spot. But I was stubborn and gave him the same treatment in fear every single time.

Silent staring.

But now, my curiosity got the better of me.

I had always seen these 'clothes' on others and they looked quite warm to be frank with you. A shiver ran down my pathetic form at the thought.

It wouldn't hurt to at least touch it, right?

Crawling out of my little corner, the smell of rainy forest with a hint of dirt got stronger the closer I got to the object.

I carefully poked at the thing and after getting no response, I deemed it harmless and lightly grabbed it.

Oh that felt soft.

The idea of it enveloping my whole body seemed pleasant, thus I lifted the thing up and looked for a way to put it on. Okay, so it had one wide enough hole to fit my whole torso in there, therefore that was where I started. Then I realised my arms were stuck to my torso, so I looked around for their intended places, finally finding them after a minute or two of spinning around mindlessly like an absolute moron.

Having somehow successfully put on the upper part -oh it had a part for your head too, to cover it, very comfy-, I grabbed the other one. Similarly, it had a single, bigger opening, so I put my legs in there. Okay, while I was not familiar with the art of wearing such objects, I did see that only one leg was supposed to go into one long part. So, after a minute of fumbling around, the thing was on my now warm body, enveloping it with the essence of an ancient forest.

Wait…That last thought scared me, my pulse quickening.

Since when was the forest fine and not rotting?

Taking a careful sniff of the fabric, my fears came true.

It didn't smell repulsive anymore. The trees had an earthy and melancholic tone, sure, but they did not make my stomach churn in distaste anymore.

My eyes widened in realisation as I took a deeper breath this time, the result not changing no matter how many times I checked.

-.-.-

Time crawled by and I simply remained in my safe, stark-white corner; especially after that dreadful realisation about the lingering scent around me.

I could not trust anyone, no matter the species, I knew that. So why was my body slowly accepting this strange wolf?

Speaking of the hybrid, he kept up the same schedule, appearing with small portions of different types of heavenly food several times a day. The first time he noticed these ‘clothes’ on me, a bright, dimpled smile broke out on his face that I just did not understand, my lowly positioned ears bopping along as I tilted my head in confusion.

Even now, he was in the room, placing down a 'tray' of fresh food. But something was different, he placed down some new 'clothes' and sat down next to the objects, his back against the wall.

"You know, you have been here for a loooong while now and I thought… maybe a bath would feel nice, hm?" - he asked me, a small smile never leaving his lips.

I just tilted my head, tail softly thumping against the white surface once as I furrowed my eyebrows.

What was a 'bath'?

Seeing my confusion, the wolf muttered a bit under his breath, rubbing his nape as his ears lowered in embarrassment.

"You don't know…what a bath is, do you? Well, I guess that is not surprising, seeing you didn't fully know how to get the toilet to work either, nor did you know what underwear was."

The silence sat heavily in the air, as we just blinked at each other, my eyes drawn to the soft pink colour now dusting his cheeks.

"Ah well… it is like… so uh… How do I explain this, I never thought I would have to… So we just collect nice, warm water in the bathtub -he pointed at the place I was sitting at- and wash the dirt off. From your body. It feels nice, I promise you."

He waited for my reply, for any sign I understood what he was trying to say. My ears did perk up a bit, the mention of warm water quickly garnering my attention, tail swishing around slowly.

Seeing as he looked at me expectantly, I blinked and thought over what he said. Oh, the warm water needed to be in my safe zone, the white den.

Thus, I slowly crawled out of it, watching the wolf and his every move attentively.

He nodded appreciatively at me, then slowly made his way towards the white den, turning some silver things and made water come out of nowhere! The sudden appearance surprised me, my body jerking in response, but my wide eyes never left the stream of water in amazement.

They had a stable supply of safe, clean water? This pack must have been strong.

A chuckle brought me out of my stupor, eyes rapidly fixating on the wolf in front of me.

"Sorry, you just looked so cute, like a kid in a candy shop. Don't mind me please."

I stared at him as he busied himself with the contraption once again, making the water stop once the den was full. He got up and took some smaller objects in his hands, pouring colourful things into the once clean water and swishing them around.

Low and behold, fluffy looking white things appeared!

Another chuckle and a confused stare later, he turned fully towards me.

"The bath's ready. You can…take off your clothes and get in." - he said, that familiar red dusting his cheeks once more as he turned away from me.

Ooh, so you take these off for the 'bath'? Makes sense, they would be less warm and comfy if they were to get wet.

Struggling with getting them off my body for a few minutes, I tossed them onto the floor and crawled into the incredibly soothing and warm water. Almost immediately my muscles relaxed, ears easing up and pupils dilating.

This was amazing.

I sank into the water more, my eyes closing in bliss when I suddenly realised where I was and with who, causing my body to jolt up, eyelids popping open to look at the startled wolf by my side.

His expression softened, sharp brows slightly furrowed as a small smile sat on his lips, making my own forehead crease in response. What did that expression mean? And why had he not done anything to me, besides nice things? What was this pack planning?

My thoughts were halted by his whispering, careful, as if I was a delicate thing.

"You can scrub the dirt away in this water. Put your head under it for a bit and you can get most of the stuff out of your hair and fur too." - he said, hand hovering above the 'bathtub', but never too near me.

Looking at the fluffy, murky water, I blinked a few times, then dove into it completely, following his instructions.

Surfacing after a minute, I looked back at him and saw he was completely soaked, wet hair and fur sticking to his sun-kissed skin. And yet, he did not seem to be mad, no, quite the opposite. Laughter bubbled out of his chest, the sounds catching me off-guard and startling me, yet I did not mind it as much as I thought I would've. It had a nice ring to it as it bounced off the usually quiet walls, giving this dead place some liveliness.

Sadly, after some time -my skin now wrinkled and weak-, he begged me to get out of the water and dry myself. He handed me a 'towel', instructing me on how to use it while looking anywhere but me. This wolf was weird.

Quickly drying myself as I was told, he handed me different 'clothes', but they shared the same dark colour as the previous ones. Judging by the scent, these must have also been his. Putting them on with a bit more ease than last time, he laughed at me when I was done and told me I apparently had the lower part -pants, he called them- on wrong. How can it be worn wrong, who made this?!

Telling me how to put them on properly I fixed the problem and quickly sat back down, breathing deeply, still not used to how this body worked.

He sat down a bit farther away from me, his fingers messing with his shirt.

"You've been staying here for a while now, but I never asked you, in fear of scaring you away, but… what’s your name?" - he asked, his eyes so hopeful and vulnerable with their gaze.

I had one, a name, once. A full name belonging to a human. But that wasn't me anymore, no, I left that life behind. But what did that leave me with? Horrible nicknames like pet, idiot, experiment… Not the best choices, to be honest.

So I just shook my head at him, lips pursed as I looked away.

The silence in the room was thick.

Then, his voice wafted through the air, escorted by the refreshing scent of newly budded flowers and leaves.

"Don't worry, knowing the others, they will find some nickname for you soon enough."

I couldn't help but let a small smile sneak onto my lips, the gesture kind and alien to me.

"Ah, speaking of the others, would you like to… Do you want to take a little walk and maybe meet some of them now? O-only if you want to! But I do think taking a short walk would be good for you." - he rapidly offered, seeing my contorted expression.

Thinking it through, I really had no choice. He was nice enough to me, a stranger and an intruder in his home. I had to get out of this room once, sooner or later. Besides, I did need some exercise. My body ached and fidgeted from the lack of movement over the past who knows how many days, no matter how easily a few steps tired me out.

So, I hesitantly nodded and watched as his face brightened, dimples showing full on and eyes twinkling.

Soon though that expression dimmed slightly as he realised he couldn't touch me to help my struggling form up. My legs shook, hands gripping anything near me to help pull myself up into a standing position.

After a minute of struggling and the wolf worrying around me, I could successfully stand while putting my weight onto the wall next to me.

"Yes, good job! Now try going towards the sink, see if you can find your balance." - he excitedly, yet gently instructed me, my eyes flitting between him and the sink he pointed at. Weird enough, I did have memories of the aforementioned contraption.

Looking at the ground, I furrowed my eyebrows as I swished my tail slowly around. This body worked so differently from my animal one and I cursed my still weak form, as I could still not shift safely.

Holding my breath, I took my first step, hands supporting me on the wall constantly. I re-positioned my tail, then took another step, seeing as my balance was better like that. Then another, and another.

I stumbled quite a few times -the wolf seemingly holding himself off from running to my aid-, but I made it to the sink.

Small clapping echoed through the air, my ears flickering towards the source before my eyes followed.

"You are doing really well! Now, do you want to come out of the room and walk around a bit in the hallways?" - he asked, even though I had already accepted his previous suggestion.

With a head tilt I nodded along, my brows slightly furrowed. He just smiled and made his way to the door with careful, obvious steps, holding it open for me.

And so I followed him, slowly stumbling after his familiar form by the walls, leaning onto them for dear life.

As we progressed further into the long, bright hallway, the unpleasant smells picked up, becoming stronger. My stomach started tying itself into knots ever so slowly, the urge to gulp winning as I battled nausea.

My weak state must have been obvious, as the wolf stopped in front of me.

"You made a lot of progress today, we can go back you kno'."

His gaze was so gentle I nearly nodded automatically, but then the wolf inside me snarled, demanding to move and not sit around all day.

So, with a heavy heart I shook my head and watched as he started leading me further in with an unsure expression painted onto his face.

The air was so, so sweet. It was basically dripping with sugar, as if it was made from cotton candy. I held my breath for as long as I could, unable to bear it any longer.

Although before I could do anything else, my ears picked up voices. They were talking to each other, but the interesting part was that one was surprisingly deep. My ears flicked once, then honed in on the voices again. Taking a few more steps after the awaiting wolf, I gulped and took a smaller breath of air into my lungs, thankful to my mind for being too busy with analysing the voices.

I quickly realised we were closing in on them, seeing as I could now understand what they were saying.

"Ah, I think I hear Lixie and Binnie. They must be in the living room… Are you sure about this?" - he turned around and asked me, his expression torn.

I hesitantly nodded and gulped, the wolf now insatiable since it got a taste of freedom. I’d only walked down this long hallway, and yet my body felt like I had just run for my life. Still, it craved more, fidgeting around. Yearning.

He nodded back at me and I followed, albeit more poorly than before. The sweetness was joined by acidic citrus and I had to take a step back, hand flying to my mouth from the urge to gag. The wolf rushed to my side, hovering near me, not daring to touch me still.

My legs slowly gave out under me as I slid down the wall, eyes screwed shut to reduce the incoming information to my brain.

It seemed that was the last straw for the wolf, his form not hesitating anymore as he picked up my shivering form and carried me hastily back to my safe room. My skin itched and tensed under his touch, but it soon mellowed as I was more busy fighting for my fucking life.

He patted my back soothingly as I emptied my gut into the white bowl, my long and unkept -still damp- hair held out of my face with his other hand.

"It's alright. Maybe next time we can walk a bit more." - he promised in a whisper and I numbly nodded, drawing away from him as I could now breathe properly again.

He tidied the bowl out with the single press of a button -like he showed me in the past- and left with a familiar smile.

I sat there for a while still, recovering and processing the whole disaster that just happened, the urge to move around now hard to battle.

-.-

I couldn't sleep.

My body was stiff, muscles tense with the urge to run around. I had contemplated my choices a hundred times over by now, but I always came to the same realisation. If I changed into my animal form, my weak body would probably collapse and I would not be able to do anything, let alone escape this territory. That left me with this humanoid form, in which I could only stumble around.

So I did.

I spent my entire time walking from one wall to another, like a fine machine doing the same motion over and over again. I eventually found my balance, able to walk a few steps without the aid of my hands.

Then I walked a bit more, the urge to just move around still not gone.

Stopping for a moment to catch my breath, my nose caught a whiff of a sun-bathed forest, the faint scent of flowers and dirt laying underneath it.

My head whipped around and sure enough, the wolf stood in the doorway, a guilty expression painted onto his face as I caught him.

"Aah, sorry, you were just so focused I didn't want to disturb you. But you've improved so much overnight, it's as if you walked in your sleep." - he airily laughed, placing down the food in its usual place.

My ears lowered in shame, my eyes cast onto the ground as my once gently swaying tail now laid still.

Seeing my reaction, the air turned stiff and awkward.

"... Sorry, I should have known, you are a canine hybrid too after all. You must be restless in this tiny place. But hey, once you finish eating, we can go walk again."

My ears perked up at that, my tail swishing around at the mere thought of getting out of this enclosed place. Thus, I quickly devoured the food, licking the plate and my hands clean -the wolf ushering me to wash my hands while laughing, saying how gross i was-.

True to his words, we left immediately afterwards, the now familiar sight of the bright hallway greeting me.

Our rhythm didn't change compared to last time. I walked along the wall, the wolf in front of me taking a few steps and turning back, waiting for me to catch up. The only thing that changed was that I stumbled less and could walk a bit faster, my breathing just a tad more controlled.

Stopping for a moment to catch my breath, I gulped in a mouthful of the foul air, the scent of bitter flowers sitting atop the other ones. Sniffing the air once more confirmed my findings, signalling that we were going towards a pack member. My body stiffened at the thought, but I pushed the thought down and continued walking.

"I was wondering yesterday as well, but it seemed like you sensed my pack members even before me. You must have overly sensitive senses. Is that why you get nauseous as well?" - the wolf asked, worry creasing his forehead.

I simply nodded, more focused on not falling over or vomiting out the food I just ate.

We continued our little journey in silence, the nausea harder and harder to fight, but I managed through sheer will and determination. And soon enough we were in new territory, the hallway giving space to two stairways and another hall opposite of us.

Looking down the stairs, a spacious place greeted me, things I was and wasn't familiar with scattered around in it. Amidst all that sat a hybrid, his feline, sharp eyes already stalking my form. I panicked and ducked behind the wall next to me, almost falling over in the process.

"Minho, we've already talked about this. You either behave or leave the living room." - the wolf demanded, his raised tone not leaving space for argument.

I only heard a huff and a small 'Yes', my breathing still a bit erratic.

"Hey, look at me. No, at me, please. Good, that's it. You’re fine, nobody here means you any harm. Focus on me and calm down your breathing. Yes, that’s it. I’m here with you, you’re safe."

I followed his instructions, my body relaxing as much as it could with the nausea still lingering in the background of my mind.

"Yes, good job. Now, you don't have to go meet Minho now. We can walk around up here, or I can ask him to leave the room." - he gently whispered to me, my ears that were pressing impossibly into my head letting up just a bit.

I shook my head as another wave of bitter, tangy nectar hit my nose. I gulped, thankful that this scent was a bit more mellow than the others, the scent of pines and grass able to overshadow it.

"Alright, but if you want to go back, don't hesitate to tell me immediately, okay?"

I nodded once more and stuck close to him, until I realised a little problem.

The fucking stairs.

Clutching the small wall next to it for dear life, I descended one stair at a time, the wolf always near me in case something happened. It felt strangely nice. He never touched me unless needed and always let me progress at my own, slow pace. So I couldn't help the miniscule smile I sent his way after we successfully reached the floor.

His eyes widened for a second, but then so did his smile, dimples not hiding anymore.

He walked towards the cat hybrid, always making sure I had something to grab onto in case I needed it. I followed closely behind, sticking to him as if he was my lifeline. He was, in a way, his scent pushing the others away just enough for me to not empty my gut right then and there.

Having reached the other -who was lounging on a soft looking thing, a rectangular device playing sounds and flashy colours in front of him-, he sat up and looked at us. My ears pressed completely into my head once more, my tail limp by my side.

"This is Lee Know, or Minho as we just call him, one of our pack's members. He might look scary, but I can assure you he means no harm, right?" - the wolf pointedly exclaimed.

I nodded at the feline, my form not at all hidden behind the smaller stature of the wolf. Yet I remained there, one of my hands cautiously grabbing onto the back of his ‘clothes’.

"So you're the hybrid I’ve been feeding all this time. Nice to finally meet you." - his tone was strange, I could not put it anywhere, so I defaulted to lowering my gaze.

Before the tense silence could continue, he spoke up again.

"So, how was the food? I never had to create such specific, light meals before. It was tricky, especially since I didn't know your preferences or allergies, if you have any."

I shook my head as I met his gaze, genuinely grateful. My tail swished at the thought of the heavenly food, the knots in my stomach lightening just a bit.

"Well, if you have any wishes regarding your meals, you can tell them to me, I will try to cater to them. Except for the unhealthy ones, then you can cook for yourself." - he airily snorted at the last thought, the air now less tense.

I nodded again, my grip lessening on the wolf's ‘clothing’.

Before anything else could be said, a loud sound came from next to me, the rectangular device flashing brightly. Frightened, I jumped and manoeuvred the wolf to be between me and the device, my arms tightly hugging his form and face hidden inside the crook of his neck. My heart wildly beat around inside its cage, afraid of the potential danger that could accompany such a loud noise.

Yet all I heard was hearty laughter for the next few minutes from both hybrids, the urge to disappear and hide now great. So I hid into the wolf more, the earthy forest and rain calming my senses a little bit, even as my form shook.

He petted my hands that were wound around his torso, the laughter dying down slowly.

"Come on baby, there is nothing to fear. It was just the TV, not a real threat." - he gently murmured, his throat vibrating pleasantly with each syllable.

I only tightened my hold, his breath hitching.

"Any stronger and I will suffocate-"

I hastily let go of him, panic written on my face as I stepped back into something. I lost my balance and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the thing with the cat hybrid, shaken up and disoriented.

Hearing chuckles leaving their forms, warmth invaded my cheeks as I pulled my knees into my chest, turning towards the plush thing to hide.

"Chan, you never told us he was such a klutz. At this rate, we need to baby proof the whole house." - laughed the feline at my expense.

"I didn't know either. Trust me, I would have been more careful otherwise." - he sighed out, laughter finally leaving his form.

"Baby, don't hide. You're fine, we weren't laughing at you."

"Speak for yourself, I was definitely laughing at him."

"Minho, you are not helping."

The feline only cackled at that.

"Please, look at me. You're fine, it happens to the best of us." - the wolf gently murmured, coaxing me out of my hiding spot.

I pursed my lips and peeked at him, my cheeks still warm. He only smiled at me; my posture slowly relaxing and unfurling.

"There's my tall lil wolf!"

Gosh, just as my cheeks felt cooler he worsened them instead.

"And here you can see a wildChan Christopher Bang adopting a new child, because 4 wasn't enough. Nature truly is beautiful."

"Aish, you little- Come here, don't you run away from me!"

And so I watched the wolf playfully chase around the feline, laughter and curses leaving their lips the whole time.

I nearly snorted out loud when one of them got caught up on something and almost fell to the ground, my hand flying to my mouth to stifle the rare sound.

I continued watching them, my head and arms propped up on the back of the soft thing I sat on, until I caught a whiff of sweetness. I pursed my lips in discomfort, the lingering cacophony of smells now on the forefront of my mind. Turning my ears towards a tucked away hallway, I heard that deeper voice again, the owner no doubt the source of the smell. I lowered my body into the soft material, barely peeking over the back to keep my eyes on the hallway and the other two, who now caught each other and were bickering.

They must have noticed the sweet smelling hybrid as well, because they waved towards the hall happily.

I expected someone menacing, scary looking based on the voice, but I should have known better from his scent, because the most innocent looking guy walked out into the open.

My eyebrows furrowed, head tilted at this mystery. How could that voice belong to this small hybrid? He looked delicate, not threatening at all with his fluffy, dark-spotted white fur and innocent atmosphere.

I tilted my head to the other side, watching him interact with the others, stealing some snuggles and hugs at every opening.

It made no sense to me.

How could that voice belong to this creature?

“I think… Felix, I think our new friend here is confused about you. I’ve never seen him look like that before.” - the wolf snorted, making his way towards me as I just blinked up at him.

Realising all 3 of them had their attention on me, I ducked completely behind the soft wall and looked at the other canine who was making his way in front of me.

“You don’t have to be afraid of Felix, he is the sweetest hybrid I’ve ever met. But if it’s too much for you, we can go back for today.” - he sweetly offered, his hand hovering in the air, not knowing if he could touch me yet.

I hastily grabbed his hand and ducked behind him when I realised the other hybrids joined us, the smell of sour petals and pure sugar invading my nose full force and twisting my innards. I ducked my head into his shoulder, inhaling the scent of sun-kissed timber and earth, wishing it could magically just block everything else out.

The other two abruptly stopped.

“What… what are you doing?” - asked the scary feline firmly.

“Minho, you know this is not what it looks like, he means no harm. I’m fine, not in danger. Besides, I told ya all his nose is extremely sensitive.”

“Yeah, then why is your scent okay to him then, hm? Explain that, Chan.”

“I don’t… I don’t know…”

My grip on the wolf relaxed, my consciousness strangely guilty. They hadn’t done anything bad to me so far, no, quite the opposite, yet I was the cause for the current discord amongst the seemingly closely knitted pack members.

As I was about to completely release the wolf and step back, the newly arrived feline spoke up.

“What if he got used to his scent? He is wearing Chan hyung’s clothes after all and he’s the one who visits him every day.”

My head tilted once again, the voice and face not quite matching in my head.

“That might be the best explanation we can come up with, seeing as he… “ - the wolf trailed off, the sentence left hanging in the air, unfinished.

The brown-haired feline scoffed, but left it at that and sat back onto the soft object, where he laid previously.

“Come on Minho, don’t start pouting.” - said the blonde who was trying to snuggle up to the other cat, even as he was being pushed away.

“I am not pouting, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mhm, tell that to your puffed up chee- Hey! Don’t, don’t tickle me. I’m sorry, I’ll leave you be, Minho hyung, come on mate-”

Apparently that was not enough for the older feline as he mercilessly continued to attack the other’s sides, laughter filling the air. The sound hit my lowered ears as they bopped to the sides every time I tilted my head from side to side. No, the voice still didn’t quite match the face in my mind.

Another voice filled with laughter joined them, one much closer and startling me in the process.

“Guys, guys- I think-, I think he is confused by Lixie’s voice–” - he somehow wheezed out between two bouts of laughter, his form hunched as he gripped his sides.

Oh now all of them were in similar positions and I was left there, standing alone, confused out of my mind as I harshly gulped to battle my knotted stomach. My lips pursed and I looked at the ground, not knowing what to do.

This continued on for a while as I stood there with the clothing’s head part on, my ears hidden from the onset of laughter.

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to laugh at you. You just looked so cute. Lixie has a surprisingly deep voice, doesn’t he?”

I just slightly nodded at that, still looking at the ground.

“Felix, you have a new admirer. How does that feel, hm?” - poked fun at me the scary feline.

“Minho hyung, stop it, you ass. You promised, dude.” - said the blonde with a light slap on the other cat.

I just listened to the three going back and forth, the atmosphere now lighter, but still filled with their smells. I covered my nose, the act not helping me in the slightest to my demise. I could only shut my eyes when a wave of nausea hit me, an ‘Oh shoot’ ringing through the air in response.

“Guys, we’re going to head back. He made way more progress today than I had planned for anyway. I’ll be right back.”

The wolf gently led me away towards the stairs and I gripped the small walls tightly again, the ascend slow and painful with my shaking legs. I stumbled quite a lot and at one point my body just gave up and crumbled down onto a step, hands desperately covering my nose and mouth.

Next thing I knew was the feeling of being carried, worried voices sounding further and further away as I was placed in front of the all too familiar white bowl to empty my guts into once again.

-.-.-.-

After that day I hadn’t met the felines, even though I went on a walk in the hallways and sometimes even the big room with the wolf every day. My balance and walking improved by a lot and I could now walk without the help of something to lean on for a good while, my instinctual urge to move around a bit more satisfied. Besides that, everything was the same. I got delicious food now only three times a day -portions bigger-, took baths more and more often and always got the wolf’s dark clothes afterwards.

Speaking of which, I was just soaking in the warm bliss of a bath when the wolf did something surprising.

He gently touched my wet hair, and seeing as after the initial startle I did not move away -too curious-, he put something on his hands and started rubbing my scalp.

I immediately melted in his hands, head tilted towards him for better access as he just chuckled at my reaction. It felt really nice, I never knew I missed this from my life.

I thought nothing could be better, until he started gently massaging my ears and I nearly knocked him over with how much more I leaned into him, his whole chest now soaked.

“Who knew you were such a cuddlebug, hm?” - he chuckled, but continued his ministrations without a stop nevertheless.

A few minutes after he gently washed the fluffy white thing from my hair and ears, he coaxed me out of the water with a warmed, fluffy towel.

Soon, his expression morphed into a guilty one, as he looked towards the not completely black clothes.

“You could probably tell already, but we discussed it with the others and thought by exposing you to their scents, you would get used to them faster and we could avoid what happened last time. I uh, I brought some of my clothes too, in case you didn’t want to wear theirs, but at least let me leave them here in the room, so you can smell them.”

I looked at the male rubbing his nape, my brows furrowed.

Of course I could tell not all the clothes were his, the moment he stepped in I was sure of it. But why was he giving me a choice? I did not understand him at all. He never forced me into anything, just let me selfishly stay in this one room and take my time in exploring their den. None of it made sense to me, but I knew I would not get answers even if I voiced them, so I walked towards the bitter smelling clothes and put them on, pushing the high discomfort to the back of my mind.

His expression brightened impossibly and I could not care if he had any ulterior motive at that moment.

-.-.-.-

By the time I met the two felines again, I was already mostly used to their scents; the bitter flowers turning mild, the sweetness not tooth-rotting anymore. There was another one I was exposed to and could always feel in the air and on the others, the acidic fruit smell still not quite bearable for my sensitive nose.

As we descended the stairs the two cats perked up, looking over the ‘sofa’ -so i heard- at us.

One waved at us enthusiastically, the other only tossed a greeting in our direction lazily. Their personalities were so different, yet judging by the smells lingering on them, they stuck to each other a lot.

“Wah, I finally got to meet you again! Last time I didn’t get to properly introduce myself, although you heard my name from the others plenty. I’m Felix Lee, or Lixie, Lix, anything you want to call me by. Nice to meet you!”

The energy of the young male startled me, my legs stunned into place as I just stared at him with wide eyes. He visibly fidgeted in place but didn’t approach me, probably already told I was not too keen on touch and proximity.

Taking a few seconds to get out of my stupor, I slightly bowed at him and waved, the ghost of a smile forming on my lips.

“Yaah, look at Felix go! He likes you, he never really smiles.” - teased the wolf as just I pursed my lips and glared at him playfully.

He shouted an ‘Oh scary’ and sat down next to the others, immediately being engulfed by them. I guess cats were snuggly?

I was left standing there, until they all looked at me with a deadpan expression, pointedly telling me that I could sit down with them just with their gazes. Rubbing my head unsurely, I waddled over to the ‘sofa’ and sat down the furthest I could from them, a satisfied huff escaping the snuggle pile in response.

That was how we watched the rectangular object, no, the TV, they called it. I had no clue what the thing played was about, but it was nice, no sudden and loud noises were in it.

My mind was on autopilot as I sat there, head comfortably laying on my knees as they were folded into my chest, my arms and tail laxly hugging them. My ears were almost fully perked up, comfortable at the moment.

That moment was short lived as I smelled the last hybrid I hadn’t met yet, my form unfurling and twisting to hold onto the back of the ‘sofa’.

Noticing my sudden change, the others looked over at me worriedly, until the wolf realised what was happening.

“Ah, it must be Changbin.”

Sure enough, the hybrid appeared and I watched his form with pushed back ears and taut muscles, his tart and pungent fruity smell wedging its way into my nostrils.

The others greeted him and he greeted them back, his brows slightly furrowed at the hesitance in his pack member’s voices. Meeting my eyes, he froze, a soft ‘Oh’ leaving his lips as he came to a realisation.

“Do I…” - he started, but was cut off by a chorus of ‘No’ from the others and he just huffed at that with a shake of his head.

“Binnie, come, join us. We are watching a romance movie, but it is hilariously bad. I mean, the heroine was almost killed by ‘the love of her life’, but she still chases after him. Who in their right mind would do that?” - the sunshine incarnate broke the silence, saving the day from awkwardness.

“Don’t forget she was his love and died to him in her past 3 lives as well.” - added in the other feline.

“Oh yeah! Like, why is she so blindly stupid? And-...”

I tuned out the conversation, settling back into my previous position -albeit more guarded- and focused on the aforementioned show. My mind was racing, not knowing if it should vomit, run or just stay where it was on its ass. I was now painfully conscious of the 4 other hybrids on the other side of the ‘sofa’ -thankful that the new one sat the farthest from me-, the ‘movie’ not fully registering in my mind anymore.

I remained like that, until a soft touch on my arm broke me out of my haze. Blinking a couple of times, I looked over to see the wolf giving me a small smile, Felix peeking at me from his side and brightly smiling at me when our eyes met.

“It’s getting late, we should go back.” - Chan whispered, as if afraid of breaking whatever peace and magic settled over us momentarily.

I nodded and unfurled myself, my body aching a bit as it was in the same, stiff position for probably hours. Before I could register what was happening, the blonde male jumped up as well and asked if he could come with us. The wolf looked at me and I just shrugged, not minding it too much.

In hindsight, it should have been suspicious as to why he would want to escort me for such a short distance.

Following the wolf up the stairs and to the left hallway, my expression morphed and my head tilted as we went past my safe room. Looking back at my frozen form, the wolf turned around along with the feline.

“I want to show and offer you something, don’t be afraid, baby. Come here, please.”

He knew I would listen to his gentle voice and soft gaze, how unfair.

So, I walked there, ears slightly pressing into my head and tail staying limp by my side.

Reaching him, I was met with another door, one not too far from the other belonging to that familiar bathroom. He opened it slowly and gestured for me to look around inside after he stepped in as well. A sign of safety, the room not a trap meant for me alone.

“We thought by now you might be comfortable enough to be introduced to an actual room, where you could stay. This whole place is yours, if you want it to be. None of us would intrude on it, so you could retreat here if you are overwhelmed.”

As he explained, Felix kept nodding along, gentle smiles never leaving their faces.

My brows furrowed even more, head tilted impossibly to the side. Why would they give me a place in their den? Such a big one at that as well? What did they want from me? I just couldn’t wrap my head around it, only more questions popping up the more I thought about it. And yet, they just continued smiling at me with a strange expression on their faces, yet it remained warm all the while.

I left it at that, opting to instead explore the new place fully after a thankful, albeit hesitant nod to the others.

They left with another smile sent my way, the door closing and leaving me alone inside the room. A few steps after their hushed voices reached my ears and I flicked them in their direction, still able to barely make out the words.

“Hyung, how long do you think he was on the streets for? He looked… so shocked at being offered a simple room.”

“I don’t know, Lix, I really don’t. But now he’s in safe hands, so let’s not worry about that for now, ‘kay?”

Then they left truly, sounds of sniffling following their wake.

Tucking that conversation into the back of my mind, I shook my head and went back to my task at hand. The room was spacious, most of the space taken by an extremely big, soft thing in the middle, one of its shorter ends tucked against the wall. Further away from me next to it was a small, rectangular, wooden thing. On the wall in front of me was an enormous cloth hanging, while on my right was a big wooden rectangular thing, a bit similar to the small one. There was also a smaller one, a ‘table’, the name familiar, because there was one in the big room downstairs as well.

Having seen the place, I walked around and touched the big soft thing. I sat on it, deeming it safe enough to do so, but only after taking off the big clothing on top of it, finding nothing hiding underneath. I did the same with these so called ‘pillows’ as well, the result not changing.

Getting hit by a wave of exhaustion after finally being able to breathe freely, I looked around for a suitable place for sleep, ultimately finding it under the big soft thing. Crawling in there, I fell asleep as I hugged the ‘pillow’ and the big cloth close to my chest.

-.-

Being awoken by something hitting the ground and panic filled footsteps was not my ideal way to start the morning.

Rubbing my eyes as I let out a yawn, the shouting in the den slowly registered in my mind. My eyebrows furrowed, the cause for the panic unknown to me. Thus, I peaked my head out slowly, ears springing up as I locked eyes with a shocked Minho, laughter taking over his form after shouting a quick ‘Over here!’ to the others.

Soon, 4 sets of eyes were on my very confused form, some joining in on the dark-haired feline’s laughter, while the wolf looked like he aged 8 years and was about to die from a heart attack.

I crawled out of my sleeping place, the big cloth falling from my shoulders as I worriedly looked at them.

“Oh god, never do that again, I thought something happened to you.” - the wolf breathed out, patting my shoulders a few times as good measure.

I just lifted one of my eyebrows, pointing towards my nose in a questioning manner. It took one of them a couple of seconds to realise what I meant.

“He is right, I have no clue why we panicked instead of just sniffing him out. We do have a wolf and a snow leopard on our side, after all.” - Minho facepalmed.

“But he is here and alright, that’s what matters. sigh I’m so glad.” - the energetic feline bounded over towards me, patting one of my arms twice briefly.

“Either way, let’s go and eat. I’m hungry after all that running around.” - muttered Minho, a sigh leaving his lips. One I could tell was playful, a telltale sign he wasn’t truly angry or tired of what happened.

“FOOD!” - shouted happily the smallest hybrid, running away in glee.

“Come on, let’s go before Changbin eats everything.”

So I followed the wolf out, Felix having disappeared from my side amidst the chaos.

After arriving in the kitchen -a familiar place, as i stole food from it a lot on the streets-, I was sat on one of the chairs next to the wolf and the young leopard. I blinked as food was placed in front of me, along with two sticks. I looked at them, then up at Minho, then back down and up again.

“I thought it was time we taught you how to use chopsticks -he motioned towards the sticks in front of me-. It’s way less messy if you eat with them instead of your hands.” - gently explained Chan, his hand ready to pick up his own ‘chopsticks’.

I was confused, but looked at him nonetheless as he showed me several times how to pick the sticks up and position them on your hand and fingers. Getting the gist of it, I picked my own sticks up and used them, the motion strangely familiar. I was applauded, even as I tried to ignore whatever tried to bubble up from the deepest parts of my mind.

I continued clumsily eating, when I caught a whiff of that still unfamiliar smell I could feel in the air sometimes. Taking a deep breath, I was led to the feline sitting next to me, the clothing on him being the source of the unpleasant smell.

“Hm? Ah, this shirt belongs to the owner of the house. I couldn’t help myself, I miss them, seeing as they work a lot and are barely home nowadays.” - he explained, having caught my staring and sniffing.

The owner of the house? He phrased that weirdly…

Taking a deep breath, I finally realised why. Their smell was always faint amongst the hybrids’, but now I could finally pinpoint why.

It belonged to a human.

Looking back at the food in front of me, my mind suddenly supplied me with a memory I locked away long ago. The vision of it overlapping with reality, both past and current me sitting with a pair of chopsticks, eating food happily at the table. An event that led to me being turned and changed.

It was his fault I became this thing.

My chopsticks snapped, teeth loudly grinding in rage and frustration.

Blinking, the overlap disappeared and I was back to reality, 4 sets of eyes staring at me.

My pulse quickened, ears lowering in shame as I dropped the broken sticks, as if they burned me. I hastily stood up, chair falling down loudly behind me. I almost tripped on it while I started backing away, the others now standing with their hands lowly held up in front of them.

Their gazes burned my form, afraid of the consequence my actions brought.

As they started closing in on me I panicked, and automatically shifted to my other form and just ran. The ‘pants’ part was left behind, but the other one remained on my form, slightly hindering me as it twisted on my form, the ‘hood’ sometimes shifting into my vision from my panic-filled movements. But I continued running, running towards the light and outside. I heard them behind me, shouting things to me or each other, I did not know, as I did not pay attention. I only focused on the outside in front of me, the green grass and trees peeking through.

I leapt towards it, my body meeting glass as it shattered under my form and I landed outside awkwardly, something twisting in my left leg uncomfortably.

My ears rang.

I blinked a few times, my vision now partly red and my left eye stinged with every blink I made.

Just as I was about to start running again after scraping myself off of the ground, something rammed into me, the impact knocking the breath out of my lungs. Then I was hastily picked up, my front open and the perpetrator behind me as I yelped and whined in distress. I could not reach them, my head too high up for that.

So I continued whining and thrashing around, my limbs flailing in the air uselessly, until a sudden wave of exhaustion hit me and my body turned limp, no matter how much I protested in my mind.

My dilated pupils focused on what was in front of me, the picture of the wolf registering in my mind as he looked at me sadly. He said something to whoever was holding me and I was hauled inside, then laid onto the covered sofa gently. I couldn’t move my body and I panicked even more, letting out a strangled whine when I felt a sharp stinging sensation in my side, right after they got the clothing off of my limp form.

Felix entered my fucked up vision, my wet eyes having a hard time focusing on him as he knelt down in front of me and gently petted my snout, the gesture somewhat calming me. My mind barely registered that his clothing had changed -purely based on the colour-, the thought quickly escaping my mind as another sharp sting ran through my body.

Instead of the mess I was feeling, I focused on the boy in front of me, his gentle features bathed in sadness. His eyes were pools of ink, gentle and warm; thin eyebrows deeply furrowed, tears sitting on his waterlines. Some already escaped, his freckled cheeks filled with wet trails; some landing on the floor, some on my nose, tickling me in the process.

Gathering the last of my strength, I moved just enough to let my wet nose reach one of his cheeks, letting out a deep sigh. It was all I could do to try and wipe that expression off his face before my consciousness faded.

I hated that look on him.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅⋅•⋅⋅⋅•∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months

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Hiii CATIE!!!!! HIII

Im pretty pretty sure people have already asked BUT HOW WAS ATTENDING THE US GP LIVE!!!! WAS???? TELL ME!! DO YOU HAVE PICS??? I know I know im late.

I ALSO HOPE YOU GOT HOME SAFE AND SOUND AND THAT YOU ARE RESTING NOW+!!!(I saw the chaos you went through im deeply sorry for you :( )

ANYWAYS HOW WAS THE RACE? HOW WAS EXPERIENCING STROLLONSO LIVE?????? AND omg did you get pics of drivers??? :00

You must must share pleaseeeeee.wax.poet

OH MY GOD ELLE SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!! IT WAS VERY COOL!!!!! VERY SURREAL!!!!!! I've taken a week to answer this but uhhhh yes I am in fact home now 🥰 I got home at like 1 am which was cool....

First of all I have to mention this! I was fighting for my life walking thru the Austin airport(from sleep deprivation), and I had my Fernando hat on my backpack, right? Some girl comes up to me and asks if I'm going to the GP, I say yes. SHE GAVE ME A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET, I COULD'VE SOBBED 🥹 It says on it "wtf is a km", I'm still so happy

COTA was the first race I ever watched, so to be actually at that track and watch a race live there was extremely surreal! Very hot though my god 😵‍💫 I think last year it was pretty hot, right? And my brother kept sending me the temp and it was pretty okay, and then of fucking course the temp leaps up to 89-97°(31-36° Celsius btw) right in time for the gp....so that was nice(I say as I burn in the sun like a vampire. But don't worry I didn't even really tan at all 😭 I always wore a hat and a lot of sunscreen. And meanwhile my brother was literally a lobster)

(This is a long post):

So unfortunately I missed the drivers parade because my brother and I were dying on Saturday night and his friends wanted to go first thing in the morning, and we're like "we will go later actually 😊" and missed it entirely 😭😭😭 but his friends took pics of Mclaren and Aston for me!!!!! But unfortunately I havent gotten them still, so I'll have to reblog this later with those! I took a lot of pictures of the cars I took from behind the fence, which I think I've posted some of? Lmk if anyone wants those!! They're very random, I just thought it was very surreal to see the cars flying past, so I took a million.

The coolest part was definitely running on track after the race was over!!! Soooooo surreal, and so I'm only gonna post pics rn from Sunday(bcs pic limit on phone) and also I think everything else kinda pales in comparison(but of course lmk if there's anything you're interested in seeing 🤭)

Okay and did I see any drivers...? ONLY ONE BUT AAAAHHHH I DID SEE LANDO!!! Not even one of my favs but it was soooooo surreal to see him, even from afar. As you can see above, everyone standing on the fences was blocking the view 🙄, but during the podium, I was focusing my camera btwn their legs and got literally one second of Lando 😭 I think its a pretty aesthetic clip, so I gifed it!!

It was so funny, I went to the gp with my brother and friends, so all these older guys yeah. And I was showing this off to them on the ride home, and his one friend was praising me so much for it 😭😭 like: "oh my god!!!! You could put this in an edit !!! This is so sick!!!!"

Oh one other thing!!! I think I've mentioned it before but my god, my favorite f1 podiums are always the ones with confetti, right?? AND THERE WAS CONFETTI AT THIS RACE!!!

LOOK AT HOW PRETTYYYYY!!!! And so anyways, I picked up so much confetti off the ground and now it lives forever in my phone case 🥰🥰🥰 I have no other room for pics on this post(for now) but oh my godddddddddd most of the confetti were just rectangles BUT THERE WAS ALSO ONES SHAPED LIKE TEXAS!!! SO COOL!!!!! And I also picked up a bunch of tire marbles off the ground!!! And a piece of plastic that probably came off some car. It was so funny when all of us were just scrounging off the ground. My bro's one friend somehow found a piece of carbon fiber, and we're all like "how can I kill him in his sleep and steal this from him..." But no the highlight actually of that process was watching my brother sprint to the podium, but stopping and grabbing a bunch of gravel first to shove in his pocket 😭😭😭

The other two days were fun as well, but also a lot of just dying in the heat and drinking a fuckton of red bull, so there's not too much specifically to say! I really liked hearing the cars. I think if you wanna know what's actually going on in a race, watching from home is better, but hearing the cars go by and seeing them is just so fucking sick. It was so funny to see grown men be like "I think I'm going to cry hearing these cars." I was really flexing on them with "uhhh yeah I've already been to a gp already 🙄🙄"

Anyways I ended the day by breaking bank by buying my dad and myself Fernando shirts because he is of course Fernando's biggest fan 🥰🥰 and I bought the most delicious overpriced lemonade, which I only drank half of bcs my brother proceeded to accidentally elbow it out of my hand....

OH WAIT ONE MORE DETAIL LOL. On Friday, my brother and his friend were waiting in line for smth and I was talking to them outside of the barrier. I look down, hmm theres a red cap abandoned on the ground, I pick it up, it is in fact a Ferrari hat. And that is how my brother acquired a $40+ dollar hat for free. Lucky bastard....I was the who found it!

#there is my experience kinda summed up???? i #i wanted to wait to answer this until i got all the random misc photos but alas i sitll havent #but its still very sweet to me that theu took pics of the drivers parade for me 🥺🥺#he was like “here is mclaren!!! and here is aston!!!!” THANK YOU STILL 🥹🥹#oh fuck wait i forgot to mention a crucial detail #on the wah home from the gp my brother's tire popped 😭😭😭😭#and im ofc chilling in the car while these three car men(horse girls tbf) change the tire #and theyre all covered in grease and i say “what a great way to end the day!' and his friend turns around anf gives me this face: 😐#various misfortunes but it was fine!!! it was great!!!!! just tiring #OH YEAH THE KILLERS WAS PRETTY COOL AS WELL!!!!!#basically: everything was sick 😎#except every time oscar and nando did badly and i would fall dramatically onto the ground bcs that's the type of persom i am #thank you so much for asking elle 🥺🥺🥺#if you hadnt prompted i prob wouldve never ended up recapping it #all i can say is im incredibly lucky to have all the experiences i did this year #catie.rambling.txt #catie.asks.#*OH MY GOD YEAH ONE THIGN #*i bought a new phone beforew this gp. for this gp tbh. bcs of the camers. i think it paid off pretty well no? 🤭

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hertzwritings · 2 years

Text

Clothes

A/N: WELP, I might be developing arthritis in my fingers from all the typing, but I DON’T CARE. I am literally so happy that you guys are involved with my stuff, and I constantly look at replies, reblogs and screenshots of asks, because they make me feel all giddy and happy. Anyway, onwards with the prompts! Also this prompt was requested by the sweet @daughterofautumn – THANK YOU.

Prompt: “Undress or I’ll do it for you.”

You can buy me a coffee here and I’ll write you a personalized drabble, one-shot or multichapter fic. It would help me immensely, because bills are a bitch and I have to buy diapers and food. Seriously, anything can help.

Love y’all so much! Remember, feedback feeds the soul (mine in particular) and my requests – and askbox – are always open – there’s no limits, because I am me and I have none.

MASTERLIST

PROMPTLIST

ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Plus sized!female reader

Contains: Language, fluff, smut (18+, MINORS DNI), fingering, p in v, oral (f + m receiving), unprotected sex, semi-public sex, cream-pie, praise kink, loving, fluffy, friends to lovers, coworkers to lovers, slight dirty talk, SEXUAL TENSION UP THE HOOHA

W.C.: 4.496 (sorry)

Clothes

“Henry, move again and I’ll stab you on purpose.” He chuckled but kept still - arms out and his eyebrow cocked at you. You shook your head and began slowly pinning the pants, so they kept the shape, hoping to God that this was the last pair you had to fix. “You should stop working out so much. I’ve never had to repair this many pairs of leather pants before.” You grumbled, smoothing the fabric over his shin to make sure it sat right. It was the fourth pair over the last two weeks alone, he had misshaped with his stupidly thick thighs. “Please, you love my company. And thighs.” He said with a small laugh. Well, yes, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Remind me to tell budgeting that we need like… A million just for leather, so I can make new pants every hour.” You grinned at him and stood up, looking over your handiwork. They’d fit if he didn’t do squats in them. “Thank you. You’re literally magic.” He said softly. His eyes were full of praise, and you felt heat radiating from your cheeks. “Oh, pish, posh. It’s my job, Henry. I should be thankful that you keep mucking up your costumes, so I can keep working, really.” “I’ll keep that in mind.” Silence fell between you, and you glanced at the clock. “Shit, you need to go. Get behind the partition and slowly take the pants off. I will not hesitate to murder you if you get a single pin out of its place.” You said, narrowing your eyes playfully. “Yes, ma’am.” He stepped down from the podium and went behind the partition; he was tall enough for his head to stick out on top. “Any fun plans for the night?” He asked, bending down. You tried not to think too much about what he wasn’t wearing right now (“I can’t wear briefs underneath these pants, the lines are too obvious!”) and answered with a somewhat level voice. “Oh, uh… Nothing, actually.” You licked your lips and his head shot up, eyes locking on you. “Wait, didn’t you have a thing with the…” He pursed his lips. “What’s-his-name?” You rolled your eyes. “Roger. And I did, but he… Yeah, no, it didn’t work out. He would much rather only see me in private.” You sighed. “What?” He asked. “Well, I think his words were something along the lines of… We have fun, but you’re just not one you’d take for a stroll through the city, are you? But you’re super sexy… Ish.” You grimaced. “Holy shit.” You nodded, although he couldn’t see you. “It is what it is. I dumped him, and here I am.” “Oh, I’m sorry.” He said with a shit-eating grin, not looking sorry at all before stepping out, now dressed again, and handed you the pants; he towered over you, and you tried your best to keep yourself in line. “It is… It’s not like I would have time to date at any rate, I’m here all the time.” You shrugged. It wasn’t a lie. “Well… I guess it’s a good thing, then.” He said, gathering his swords. “Why is my lack of a love-life a good thing?” You asked with a smile. He turned to face you, and his thumb stroked down your cheekbone in a way, that made your breath hitch and knees wobble. “Then I get to keep you around.” He winked at you. “See you later!”

Your strange, sort of flirty friendship with Henry had started the same day, you began working on set. You had walked into the wardrobe-trailer, hands full of yards of fabric for a new dress, and nearly tumbled to the ground, when you ran straight into a very firm body. Henry had caught you with a hand around your waist. “Thank you for catching me.” You said breathlessly, not even trying to get back on your feet. “If I’m the cause of you falling like this…” He grinned. “Anytime, darling.”

And thus, a friendship was born. You didn’t fool yourself into thinking there was anything in it from his side other than casual friendship – especially after he had brought a woman to set once, his arm locked around her at all times, he wasn’t in a scene. She was the size of a stick, and wonderfully fit, which stood in stark contrast to your own body; you felt lumpy at the best times, and like an absolute piece of blob at the worst times. It was fine, really. You could be happy enough for what you did have with Henry because he was an absolute joy to be around. He was laid back, funny as hell and attentive – every time there was a late-night shoot, he brought you coffee and some kind of snack, he had made himself. Cookies, brownies, anything really, and he did it just because he wanted to. At least, that’s what he said. You wondered a few times if it was because of your body, he only brought sugary snacks, but quickly learned that the man himself had the biggest sweet tooth, you’d ever seen. He could inhale a whole tray of brownies in less than two minutes, and he carried gummies in his costumes, which you had scolded him for once, when he had been a little too closer to a bonfire and the gummies had practically melted into the leather.

He spent a lot of time in your trailer. At first, there was issues with his armor. Then something got messed up. Then he had accidentally fallen on his beautiful ass in a puddle of mud, and then, when he ran out of excuses, he just said that he wanted to be somewhere he felt comfortable. It was nice. He was nice.

“Y/N?” A voice called from the very back of the trailer. “Yeah, I’m in front!” You called back, waiting for Abby to come out of the many layers of clothing on racks. Her hair was a mess and she looked like she was about to collapse, carrying five different costumes carefully. “God, sometimes I think I should’ve chosen a different career path. I’m dying.” She grumbled, laying the costumes on the work bench, straightening up and rubbing her round belly. “Abby, you know you can just call for me, and I’ll do all that. That’s like… 80 % of my job.” You said with a small smile, gently coercing her to a chair. She sat down with a grunt and closed her eyes. “You’re lucky you get off so early today.” “Oh, you’ve got another night?” You asked sympathetically. She nodded. “Abby, I’m serious… You’re seven months pregnant, you shouldn’t be working lates.” She opened one eye to look at you. “I don’t have any plans, it’s supposed to be pickups and I really wouldn’t mind taking the shift.” “Are you sure? Every time we say it’s going to be pickups, they end up overloading us. I wouldn’t want to leave you behind…” You waved your hand at her. “Stop it. I’m capable. At most things, actually. I think I can handle one late shoot.” She smiled gratefully. “Thank you. Really, Y/N, you’re a lifesaver.” You shrugged. “No problem. Go home, Abby, I don’t want you to overwork yourself and push a kid out in the wardrobe trailer.” You grinned at her and helped her to her feet. She hugged you. “I’ll be back on Monday, okay?” You nodded. “And if there’s any issues, call me…” “Abby. I’m not going to call you. I have both Pieter and Susan on emergency, if a problem should arise.” She sighed. “Fine. Okay, enjoy your weekend of work!” You waved her off with a laugh, pulling the iron out of the closet.

You had been wrong. It was indeed a late night, but it was extremely busy. Apparently, every single costume had decided to break, or the team wanted last minute changes, and you were working triple-time. You were sweating, breathing like you had just run a damn marathon and your eyes were growing weary, when they finally called wrap.

You were absolutely done, but the universe had different ideas.

“Y/N, sorry to keep you, but Henry’s damned shirt ripped again.” You whined. “Nooooo…. I was just going home!” You wanted to cry. “It can’t wait until tomorrow?” The P.A looked at you with I’m sorry written all over their face. “Sorry, honey. He’ll be here in five.” You waved your hand. “Yeah, yeah…” You stomped around the trailer, gathering the supplies and muttering to yourself, when the door swung open again and a muddy, slightly tired Henry stepped inside, resting his swords on the side of the work bench, and made to step further inside. “Hold it. You are not walking in here, among silk with those damned boots on.” You pointed at them, covered in mud that still dripped slowly from the top. His wig was off, but he was still covered in the makeup, a few lines of fake blood and dirt on his cheekbones and chin. “Sorry.” He quickly pulled them off and threw them outside. “All good?” “Fine. You can come up here.” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes. “Are you okay, love?” He asked worriedly, as he stepped up on the podium. “Long day. Lot of work. Not enough hands.” You looked at him with a tired smile. “If I have to fix your shirt, you need the armor off.” He just held his arms out. “Henry…” He looked at you with a smirk. “Undress, or I’ll do it for you.” You threatened. “Is that a promise?” He asked, his voice lower than before. You grunted and got on your knees, slowly unfastening the different clasps and strings along the armor on his legs, pulling them off one by one. He cleared his throat when your fingers grazed his inner thigh. “Damn it, I can’t get to the last ones without doing the top…” You sighed. “Okay, just… Hold your arms out, I want to go home.” You said with a yawn, and thankfully, Henry listened – you might be tired, and you may not be in the mood for anything, but you were painfully aware of how close you were going to have to be to him, and how great he smelled. It was actually kind of rude to smell that nice, like pine-trees and vanilla, when he’d been running around set, swinging swords in the mud. “How did you, uh… Ruin the shirt?” You asked, looking everywhere but his eyes. If you caught his eyes, you were not going to be able to control yourself, and you were just friends. “I’ll let you in on a secret.” He whispered, his lips dangerously close to your ear, as your fingers slowly untied two strings, holding his shoulder piece in place. Your breathing was shallow. “Oh?” You were whispering too, now. “I didn’t. I just wanted an excuse to come over here.” You swallowed thickly and removed another piece, the strings falling limply from your fingers. Heat was radiating off of him. “Then… Why am I removing your armor?” You asked breathlessly. His arms curled, the sound of leather straining against leather echoing in your ears, and they finally embraced you tentatively, fingers resting on the small of your back. “Because you wanted to see me too.” He answered confidently. You didn’t know what to say to that. You unclasped one of the clasps along his ribcage, opening the armor a sliver. You could feel his warm skin under the thin layer of his shirt. “And… I think that maybe…” His fingers were warm against your lower back, slowly scrunching the fabric of your dress. “You’ve been too scared to say anything.” “You haven’t either.” You replied. The tension was thick enough to leave a tangy taste on your tongue as pieces of his armor fell away from his body, leaving more and more of him exposed; or, at least, in a very thin shirt and leather pants. “No, I haven’t.” You still couldn’t look him in the eyes. “I suppose I was… Worried.” He drew a deep breath, when the final piece of his armor fell away, thudding loudly on the floor between your feet. “About?” You asked feebly. He drew a little closer, barely noticeable to the outside world, but to you? It felt as if he had traveled an insurmountable distance, the damned earth had shifted and shrunk and widened all at the same time. “You. Me. How you see me. How I didn’t want to ruin a friendship.” Your fingers were playing with the buttons on his shirts, not really sure if you should unbutton them. “And? What did you…?” You trailed off. You didn’t know if you really wanted the answer. “I would sell my soul to the devil himself, if that meant I could have you for just a minute. That’s what I found out.” You closed your eyes at his confession. “Henry, I…” You bit your lip. “I’m…” “What? You’re what? Too beautiful, too real, too…” His one hand found your cheek, cupping it. “Entirely too good for me? Trust me, I’ve already thought about it. But I am, at heart, a very stubborn man, and I have a very hard time letting go of something so beautiful.” You finally found the strength to look at him and wish you hadn’t.

His eyes were burning hotly into you, darkened and deep – you wanted to die. This was too much. “No, Henry. I’m… Not…” You sighed. You still held on to each other. “I’m not what you want, not really.” “Why?” You swallowed. “I just… Aren’t.” he sighed and the hand, that cupped your face, pulled you an inch closer to him. You were craning your neck to keep looking at his eyes. “Darling, you are everything to me. Everything. All you are, all you’ll ever be… The very air you breathe makes me dizzy. I get that it’s intimidating, and trust me, I know what’s going on in that pretty, little head of yours. We’ve been friends for long enough for me to confidently say that you’re overthinking it. How we would look. How you look. I can’t take that away from you, but I can say…” He leaned in a little closer. “I don’t care. You’re the most beautiful person, I’ve ever had the joy of laying my eyes on, inside and out. If you’ll let me, I want to spend the rest of my life worshipping everything about you.” You didn’t know what to say. Nor did you really think there was anything to say, so you did the next best thing.

Your fingers moved from the buttons on his shirt to his waist, fingers nimbly undoing the strings, holding his pants in place, your eyes locked on his. “Y/N, what are you…” “Sh. Just… Sh.” You whispered, the strings coming loose under your fingers. The pants fell to the ground around his ankles in a whisper, and your fingers moved back to the buttons on his shirt, his breath hitching when your fingers began unbuttoning them – your hands were surprisingly steady. He complied, and moved his arms over his head, as you slowly pulled the shirt over his head, his hair and beyond his fingertips, throwing it to the side.

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing slightly, and then his hands moved to the straps of your dress, slowly, while his eyes were boring into yours, he gently moved them down your arms. The dress fell from your chest, and without looking, he found the zipper on your ribcage, slowly dragging it down until your dress sagged a little, and he could move it further down your body.

It was entrancing to look at him; you were swimming in an ocean of him, as his fingers led the dress fall in a heap around your feet and then moved to your back, undoing your bra. You sucked in a sharp breath when it fell from your body.

It would seem that that was all it took.

His lips found yours in a feverish desire, slotting over yours perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together perfectly. His lips slid against your bottom lip, begging silently for entrance; you granted it, wrapping your arms around his neck, and he groaned against the kiss, your bodies flush against each other. His tongue was sinful, making you whimper into the kiss, and his hands found your ass, cupping it, before he lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his hips, and felt his hard cock nudge your thigh. It made you gasp and he chuckled against your lips, his teeth grazing your bottom lip now that his tongue was withdrawn, and tugged it gently. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough to quell the fire that was raging in you, and you gasped, holding him tighter as he walked from the podium to the small couch next to it, sitting down and letting you straddle him. You bit his lip, tugging it with a little more force than he had, showing him what you needed. “Oh, you like it rough, love?” He asked breathlessly, his fingertips still burning against your ass. You nodded. “Yes.” You might have had an inkling to how he liked it, but it was nothing against the raw desire and ferocity that overtook him. He growled, placing his lips back on yours and moved swiftly, laying you down on your back as his fingers moved to the waistband of your panties, tugging them down your legs. His lips left yours, leaving wet trails along your neck and collarbone, until they latched on your nipple, tongue swirling against it. “Oh…” You moaned and arched your back, pressing your chest up to meet his lips. His teeth found it and bit down gently, drawing a moan from your lips, that sounded strangely like his name, and your hands grabbed his hair, tugging it roughly. You needed more. He chuckled against your chest and moved from your nipple to your stomach, making sure he kissed every inch of it, before he moved further down. You gasped when his tongue licked a long stripe against your folds, his fingers digging into your soft flesh on your thighs and you could’ve died right there.

“Fuck, you taste amazing…” He grumbled before he lost all control, eating you like a man possessed. His tongue danced across your clit, sending shivers down your spine, and his right hand moved to your dripping hole, letting two fingers slide inside of you as he licked you. Your back arched and you whined at the feeling of his fingers moving inside of you. It was heaven.

He moaned against your clit, the vibrations sending you into overdrive; you had never in your life been this aroused before, and you could feel how damned close you already were. “Henry…” You whispered his name like a prayer, and he sped up, your walls fluttering around his fingers. You were rolling your hips to meet his movements and when you caught his eyes, looking up at you while a smirk rested on his lips as he licked a fat, hard strip against you, your orgasm came.

Waves of pleasure rippled through your body, every nerve screaming his name as you came on his tongue, lips and fingers; he was moaning along with you, lapping up everything you gave him. Your toes were curling and you writhed as your orgasm ripped through you.

When you could see straight again, you tugged his hair to bring him up again; his fingers were still working you, but he happily kissed you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

“You’re so fucking good, Y/N… So good for me…” His praise made you preen, and your eyes rolled back in your head.

“Please… I want to taste you…” You hadn’t even looked at him naked yet, and you wanted to see him and feel his cock on your tongue. “You’re going to be the death of me, love.” He whispered against your lips, before drawing back and sitting down on the couch.

You slid to your knees and moved to sit in front of him, practically drooling over the sight in front of you.

His cock was leaking precum, throbbing slightly; it was large, larger than you’d ever been with before, and a pulsing vein ran along the underside, that was begging to be licked. He stared at you with lust-blown eyes, and you smirked at him before your tongue darted out and licked a stripe against the vein. He moaned and whispered a small fuck when you sucked on his head, tasting his precum.

You slowly inched down on him, taking as much as you could before he hit the back of your throat. He twitched and forced himself a little deeper. You gagged. “Shit, Y/N…” You shot him a wink and grasped his thigh, letting him know it was okay. You wanted this. You needed to feel him.

He groaned and sat up straighter, a hand falling on your hair. “Is this okay?” You nodded as much as you could with your mouth occupied. He grinned wickedly at you. “Good girl… Taking so much of me.” He slowly pressed you down, letting you gag around him. “You can do more, love.” Your pussy clenched around nothing, and you felt the wetness between your thighs at his words. He slowly moved your head down his cock, twitching slightly when he hit the back of your throat. You moaned at the feeling, and you could see the moment, Henry snapped completely.

His eyes darkened and he rolled his hips, thrusting into your mouth, slowly beginning to fuck your mouth. It was the most erotic sight, you’d ever seen – his lips twitching as he fucked into your mouth, his eyes trained on your lips and small moans tumbling from his lips.

“Fuck, you feel fucking amazing… You take me so well, baby… Such a good girl for me.” He grunted and you preened under his praise, hollowing your cheeks and meeting his thrusts; he groaned and stilled, pulling out of your mouth, a string of spit connecting you to him. “Henry, what…?” your voice was hoarse. He kissed you and smiled. “I’m not coming in your mouth today, love.” He gently guided you to straddle him again, and lined himself up with your waiting, dripping core, coating his cock in your slick. “Are you sure…” “Henry, take me.” You whispered, desperate for him inside of you. He didn’t need to be told twice, and adjusted a little, and let his tip sink inside your warmth. You both moaned as you sunk down on him, taking him completely; he filled you so much that it was nearly uncomfortable, but you didn’t care – it was too good, so much more than you had ever imagined and when his head nudged your cervix, you damn near collapsed. He wasn’t faring any better; he held you tightly, groaning at the feeling of you and he thrusted up once, making you whimper. Something came over him, and you felt the shift in the air; he wasn’t going to be gentle.

“Fuck, you…” He grunted and slammed his hips to meet you, his cock moving at an impossible speed, as you moved your own hips – you were fucking each other, his hand on your ass and one in your hair, tugging you back slightly to expose your neck to him. He bit and licked at your sensitive skin as the sounds of your skin slapping against each other filled the trailer. “You’re taking me so… ugh… So well, love.” You moaned and your hips stuttered, your second orgasm building faster than you could keep up with. “Are you going to cum, love? Make a mess out of me?” You nodded. “Oh, there’s my good girl… Atta, girl…” He mumbled against your skin. “Fucking clench down on me, milk me, love… I want to feel you cum on me…” You lost it at his words. Your orgasm erupted like a surge of power out of you, stars colliding behind your eyes as you screamed his name, your pussy clenching down on him.

“Fuck, I’m going to… Shit, can I cum in you?” He was gasping now, as he fucked you through your orgasm – you were mewling, barely coherent, but you did manage to get a fuck yes out while waves of pleasure rolled against you.

“I’m going to fill you… Fuck, Y/N!” He buried his face in the crook of your neck, forcing you down as far as you could go, and you felt the warmth of him filling you; you moaned at the feeling, grinding against him, milking him for whatever he had.

“I’m so sorry, you came so fucking hard, I couldn’t…” You kissed him to shut him up. “Stop it, it was perfect.” You mumbled against his lips. He chuckled and slowly laid you down, wrapping you in his arms.

“I’ll promise that the next time will be a lot longer.” You smiled against his chest, feeling your pussy pulse in feeble aftershocks, and his spend leaking out of you slowly. “So there’s going to be a next time?” You asked. “Oh, and a time after that, and after that… I’m planning on ruining you for the rest of your life, love.” He said, kissing your damp hair. “I’m not willingly letting you go, you know.” You grinned. “Good thing I’m not planning on it, then.” He chuckled. “Henry?” Your voice was tired. “Hm?” “Uh, what… Does this mean for, you know… Us?” you asked in a small voice, hoping this wasn’t another one of the “I’m keeping you a secret”-deals, because your heart couldn’t handle it. “What do you mean? I’m planning on ravishing you, and when I’m not doing that, I’ll be parading you around. Trust me, you’ll get tired of me really quickly.” He laughed. “I’m going to want everyone to know that you are mine.” He sounded so possessive, it made you clench your thighs.

“Oh.” “Not what you expected?” You shook your head. “I was a little scared that you’d want to keep me a secret.” He lifted your head gently with two fingers under your chin, his other hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“Darling, I would never want to hide the best thing in my life away. You are the light that leads the way for me, and I hope you know that. That shouldn’t be snuffed out, and I’ll do my very best to prove that to you.” “I love you.” You blurted it out. You sucked in a sharp breath, hoping to God that you didn’t ruin a good thing. He smiled at you and kissed you so softly, it felt like a butterfly’s heartbeat thrumming. “I love you too, if it wasn’t abundantly clear already.”

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