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#you guys will never see me more in shambles than these past few days
ganondoodle · 14 days
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so, doing this as an extra post bc i dont want to spam op nor invite more disaster into their post (sorry)
(i get annoyed, i get frustrated, but i rarely get pissed off, so if this sounds aggressive to you, it is; i have had enough of arguing with people -even if most of that arguing has happened on twitter-)
someone had replied (and later apparently deleted) something along the lines of "well zelda wanted to restore hyrule at the end of botw and what is so bad about ganondorf always being the bad guy in the way that he is?"
so first off, while i know hyrule and KINGDOM of hyrule is often used as an equally interchangeable word to refer to the world there, i dont think she meant the kingdom or its or its monarchy when she said that (does she? i dont have the end in my head rn and pretty sure its a lil different than english anyway) and much more the LAND of hyrule, its still in shambles even if people have found ways to live with it- that is an interpretation of me mostly, you can think what you want in that regard idc
secondly .... im not gonna get into that rant bc you cannot be seriosuly asking what is bad about how ganondorf is presented, treated in the games (espeically in totk) and his role and "writing" (oh geez i dont know maybe all the racism and stereotypes?? also, frankly boring ass writing, if your villain can be replaced by a cloud of toxic goo incapable of speech and nothing would change except saving money for voice actors that dont fit the role that is not a great look- hes never gotten much but totk is a new low)
then theres this reply
astro-shark3113 replied: "You're kidding right? If she cared about reinstating the monarchy then why is the castle still in disrepair after five years? Why does she become a teacher and live in a cottage with her boyfriend instead of taking on duties as princess? She clearly wants to help people and be a leader but she can do that without wanting to be a Queen. Please be real"
i am not kidding and i AM being real, i think you need to look at the game without your rose tinted glasses for a second; the castle is still in ruin? what the hell do you expect, theres no soldiers and very few servants left, repairing anything is quite impossible in that time and frankly not a priority (not proof of her not caring lol) also there is a plan for it at the very least given the camps with the hyrule crest all over it in the ruins of castle town- we dont SEE her as a teacher, or living a "normal" life, that happens in between the game, its flavor text, what HAPPENS in the game is her being taught a lessson on who she needs to be and what hyrule needs to be (pretty in your face too, she gets sent to paradise past of the "first" king that is some supposedly godly thing from the HEAVENS and watches him and his queen die at the hands of the eviiil guy, the last scene in the game mimics perfectly the scene where everyone that god king got under his rule swears undying loyalty to her ffs); she does live in that house, but what other option is there, set up camp in the collapsing throne room all alone?? nigh everyone from that time is long dead and the only one she actually knows is link who happens to have a house (bc impa doesnt care i guess idk), with her ""boyfriend"" is also interesting, a "boyfriend" that apparently is locked in the basement, lives in the woods or straight up dematerlializes when theres no big bad in need of stabbing bc why the hell does no one fucking know him in hateno??? not even the kids that come to the house EVERY SINGLE DAY?? and taking on duties as a princess, she very much does? just bc she doesnt get physically carried around in a castle doesnt mean she isnt doing royal stuff (also, again, that happens BETWEEN the games, not actually in totk), she still sees herself as the princess, everyone calls her that, she herself calls herself that (if the memorial stones are anything to go by) and everyone listens to the most overtly stupid and nonsensical stuff that zelda puppet says (even her friends follow that order without even asking back???) after over 100 years of there not being a kingdom as such its pretty weird how everyone immediately, even the ones not alive for the calamity event, snaps into blindly following her orders
"she can still lead without being a queen", did we play the same game?? totk? TEARS of the KINGDOM?? (its zeldas tears, she IS the kingdom) that game?? the game couldnt be more directly telling you that its whole point is that royal family holy and good and how much everyone has to sacrifice to uphold the holy kingdom bc its the only thing that keeps evil man from overtaking it!! including turnign herself into a farmable, glorified stone pedestal for the entirety of the actual game and then that sacrifice not meanign shit bc she just gets deus ex machina'd back (i didnt need her to stay a dragon, though it would have been the better choice if she still didnt get an active part in the game i would kill for her to have been a capable companion instead of the stupid ghost sages, and you dont even get to actually do anything for it, it just happens), not even the nuclear pebble is lost, how great! she and everyone else that is a leader of their people has a nuclear pebble now!! they will not let a bad evil man be a threat ever again!! like the point to bring her back in that utterly unsatisfying way is that otherwise the royal line wouldnt exist anymore, its a blessing of her ancient ancestors!! woohooo!!
and the thing is, i LIKE botw zelda, i liked her character, that she wasnt the typically maiden princessy type, her struggle (even if i find the way she unlocked her powers lame), i do NOT like totk zelda, after the intro of the game she is a princessy maiden standing prettily at the side of the god king that rules the only thing keeping evil at bay, the level of how much totk disrespects her makes me mad on her behalf but i have ranted about that alone enough as well
and with this i am DONE talking about this game, i have ranted so much about it, made my points carefully clear over and over, said that i dont have the nerves left to be nice anymore about it given how much shit alone on twitter i had to live through just bc i dared mildly critisizing the damn game, if you comment some snarky "be real" thing again im just gonna go straight to blockign people bc i am done with this
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ladyelissarose · 1 year
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‘I See You’ 
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Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x high school teacher female reader
No use of ‘Y/n’ but is referred as Miss or as teacher
Summary; As a high school teacher, sometimes the grading of terribly written homework or trying to teach rowdy teenage students was more than hard. You’d always arrive looking very put together and tidy up, but after the bell rang, you look like a hurricane swept you away. So to drain out your especially long week, and to feel a little boost of self confidence, you take it upon yourself to drink all negativity away at the Hard Deck, hoping it’ll do the job for you. And in your attempt to feel good about yourself and to impress a certain aviator that caught your eye, you make an unnecessary choice, that leaves you almost in shambles. Until this aviator comes around to pick you up, and tell you you’re enough.
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, lots of drinking and flirting, slight humiliation (not from Jake!) some angst, but mostly fluff and two idiots who fall in love!! Kind of a slow burn... LONG ASS ONE-SHOT
“Alright class- Benjamin sit down please- oh god! Jamie your pencil isn’t a cigarette stop trying to lit that up- where did you even- ugh... just give me the lighter please.”
 You walk towards the back of your classroom of high school 10th graders and take away a small lighter that Jamie happened to bring in. You then eyed for Benjamin to take his seat along with a quick snap to your fingers at Corrie and Hailey who kept whisper gossiping about who knows what. Finally when your class seemed to get it together and finally listen, you felt ready to explain the day’s plans as simply as possible, so they all wouldn’t have an excuse for missing anything. Once you stood at your desk, which was small and white, had a pile of turned in homework that Friday morning along with your laptop and a few nick-knacks, you leaned against it as you began,
  “Alright class... today we’ll be doing something different. You’ve all worked hard on your past assignments and essays, so I thought I’d give you all a treat-“
  Damion then raised his hand while bouncing his leg up and down rapidly,
You stopped your announcement and kindly glanced at the black haired, hazel eyed boy as you asked nicely,
  “Yes Damion?”
He put his hand down to now scratch his shaggy hair as he put forth a question,
 “Is food going to be involved-“
You immediately raised your hand to stop him,
 “Nope! Not when you guys are prone to start large food fights in my classroom. Last pizza party was disastrous and I will not allow another chance for it again.”
 You remember clearly that food-war-zone day, you had left your classroom for about 5 minutes just to pick up the ice cream you had bought them from the lunch room, when you came back let’s just say a grenade of pizza sauce had exploded in the room. You understood that kids were messy and crazy, but not to this level. It’s took hours to clean it all up yourself, you didn’t dare want to punish them and make them stay and clean it, because you didn’t want problems with their parents (who weren’t always the nicest.) You then promised yourself that you’d never again bring food back into your classroom, no matter how many times they begged for it.
 You then added to your speech,
  “Now for the rest of you, please wait till I finish then you ask questions.”
 In sync your little gremlins all replied while looking at little sad at the mention of not having a pizza party,
 “Yes Missss.”
Smiling proudly to yourself you then continued,
  “So to cut to the chase sense you all seem a little anxious today, I have invited special guests to join us. A couple of Naval Aviators from here in Fighter Town are coming over to share with us their experience as Aviators. It took a lot of time for me to convince them that it’ll help us understand their work and it’s purpose. The learning of responsibility and obedience. So, If any of you have questions, you may ask them, but PLEASE... please be polite. They have hard jobs and have more than enough to tolerate already with their superiors and co-workers... and they don’t need more of that especially from students like you. So again I ask, be polite, reflect who we are as a classroom of World History, and learn something.”
 You gave them all a reassuring smile before adding lastly,
  “Any questions- oh yes Thomas?”
Thomas flipped his black gel pen in hand as he commented,
  “Do we look like kindergarteners to you? I mean respectfully, cause I thought only elementary did like... that kind of stuff.”
 A frown found your face but you shook it off as quickly as possible, not wanting to appear hurt or offended by your class. You really felt that this would be a great experience for them. It was different and really cool all at once, your uncle was a Naval Aviator, and the dream to always be like him fascinated you, but because of your really short height, you obviously didn’t pass. And soon that passion grew into the dream of becoming a professor. But that never changed the way you felt and appreciated about the Navy all in one. With your hands fiddling behind your back nervously you replied,
  “I know you all are very intelligent and are in a higher level of education, but... I feel that today’s experience will let you all feel relaxed... believe me when I say you won’t regret it.. now they‘ll be here in a few-“
 Knock Knock Knock!!
A soft gasp left your lips as you signaled the class,
  “That must be them, stay seated please, and be nice. Let me talk to them for a minute.”
 You naturally fixed your hair and made sure your dress was respectfully fixed well before opening the door to the most handsome man you have ever seen in your entire life.
 ‘Oh my god he’s charming! - ok get it together... you’re a teacher for crying out loud.’
 With the best smile you could offer when feeling now super nervous and sorta shy, you beamed with your hand stretched out,
  “Good afternoon sir.”
The tall, blond aviator who wore a green flight suit that was decorated with different patches and wore his flight vest over, sported the grandest grin while flashing his perfect white teeth. He grasped your hand gently but firmly as he let his green jaded orbs rest on yours, his voice was sweet but steady, kind of had a southern accent to it as he introduced himself,
  “Good afternoon, Miss. I’m Lieutenant Jake Seresin... and these two behind me are my wing buddies.”
 Jake let your hand go and you held it against your chest, missing his warmth and feeling, and ignoring the way you felt a spark hit from the second you touched him. You watched him attentively as he pointed to two other aviators that had arrived, another tall aviator that had the cutest mustache that suited him perfectly, he had calm hazel eyes and a warm smile, he wore beige Khakis that had a few medals of different awards on his chest along with a shining, gold pin of wings on top of them. And next to him stood a female, who had the most beautiful smile and homey brown eyes, she stood tall but relaxed in her very well pressed, dress blues, and in her hand she held her Dixie cap, 
  ‘How elegant.’
You thought, as you approached the two other aviators with a welcoming hand shake to each,
  “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
The mustache aviator shook your hand next as he introduced,
  “You too Miss, I’m Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw.”
 He made you feel at ease and comfortable, with his kind and soft tone. Then you turned to the beautiful brunette as you did the same,
  “Such a pleasure ma’am.”
“Likewise Miss, I’m Lieutenant Natasha Trace. I love your dress by the way.”
She ended her sentence with a wink that made you feel appreciated and flustered. You looked down at your simple Navy blue dress that rested at your knees. You tried not to stutter as you replied,
  “T-Thank you, Lieutenant.”
She sent you a firm but kind nod, then you turned back to the door of your classroom as you began,
  “Alright Lieutenants, so I was just hoping you can maybe explain your field of work, and hopefully answer some questions they might ask?”
 Bradley nodded approvingly before asking,
  “How long do we have?”
You glanced at your watched before replying,
  “As long as your willing to be here, class ends at 3:30, it’s barley 2. So from here till then all the time is yours if you want to stay till it ends or go early, either is fine.”
 Jake smiled proudly as he checked with Bradley,
  “We could do till 3:30 right?”
Natasha replied for Bradley,
“Oh yeah, Mav said we could have the day.”
 Bradley’s eyes lit while turning to look at you,
  “We’ll be staying till the bell rings.”
You almost jump with joy but stay planted on the ground with a bright smile instead,
“Great! Come on in please.”
 You then lead them inside of your classroom, confident to know that your classroom will be still sitting in their chairs, looking quiet and obedient, but instead you find a WWE match going on. Jensen and George are standing on their desk and trying to aim for a first punch while steadying their feet on their wobbly desks. Some of your student are cheering them on while a couple others are filming it, most of the girls seem to be huddled up in a corner chatting loudly and lastly, your computer sits open at your desk with a couple of your boys on it. You knew that your students were the craziest in the entire school, sense 9th grade all the teachers knew it, and warned you that for some reason they all were just rowdy and not always the best listeners. You’ve heard that they’ve been through many teachers and substitutes, all who could never stand them, and left because they couldn’t tolerate them, so it was a shock to them when you took the classroom under your wing, and faithfully been there for the past 4 months, while others only last a school week or less. You could feel the hurt and disappointment clutching your heart almost immediately at the sight, but before you could say anything, a sharp whistle came from behind you along with a set of simple words,
  “Can I have your attention please?”
You faced the source of the voice, Natasha was the one who spoke up after Bradley whistled. Your class filled with quick ramblings and all of them ushered themselves to their respectful seats, (Jensen fell off his desk and you were quick to run and help him up after you saw that everyone ignored him, but Jake grasped your upper arm and held you in place, without saying a word.) You didn’t dare move after his touch left you, and you all waited till the classroom was quiet and orderly. After a few seconds you spoke up to the Lieutenants, you eyes locked on Natasha’s because she was the female here, and Jake made you too shy as nervous, while with Bradley well, nothing was wrong with him, he’s perfect, but sense Natasha was the female there, she made you feel more open and forward as you apologized,
  “I’m sincerely sorry for this welcoming, we talked about this.”
 Jake shook his head no at you, looking reassuring as he directly told the classroom,
 “It’s not your Teachers fault, that you children don’t listen. She’s a fine woman, we can see it, so please, learn from her... can we do that?”
 The classroom nodded their heads attentively, all while gawking at them three like if they were celebrities. You saw their reaction and felt a little joy come over the upset feeling you had, and even more when Chad asked,
  “How many more different uniforms do you guys have? Their pretty cool.”
Jake beamed proudly as the question was asked to him, and he replied simply but with a joking tone,
 “The Navy has a whole wardrobe for its sailors, that’s why we’re known to be the fanciest and most stylish.”
 The few chuckles and giggles could be heard all around, and you felt yourself relax a bit as you continued to hear most of your class ask polite and very interesting questions, all that were answered as best as possible by all three aviators. It was like if there rebellious switch had turned off as they now became very attentive and sweet. It relived you’re and made you take a good breather for a moment. Your attention was mainly focused on Jake, who’s smile made your tummy turn with butterflies and his voice made you love it more and more. 
 Your thoughts flew around in your head like free eagles, 
 ‘I wonder if he smiles like that all the time? Or who he shares that smile with... he probably has someone home... taken he is perhaps-‘
 “What the hell is going on in here?”
You held in a gasp as you faced your boss, the principal of the school. He stood at the door with a look of disappointment,clearly not pleased with who you had brought in, but you were quick to stand tall and defend these aviators. You walked to stand in front of them, as if protecting them as you began to explain,
 “Mr. Cosmo, I invited a few Naval Aviators from the Aviation base to come and share a few things with our class today, they seem to like it, and these aviators have been the absolute best with us.”
 You stand there confidently with your response, believing it was the best yet. But Mr.Cosmo didn’t think so, as he sighed with irritation. He then eyed the aviators that stood behind you with utter disgust before ordering in a low, stern tone, that made your blood go to your feet.
“Get them out of my class room... now.”
 Your face dropped with confusion and you stuttered,
 “W-Wait sir, please- I think-“
Mr.Cosmo held up his hand to shush you up, as he warned,
 “Miss... I’m not going to ask again.”
You closed your mouth and didn’t say another word to him, you instead turned to face Jake and his buddies as your apologized,
 “I’m so sorry Lieutenants, you may go now. Thank you for your time and what you do for us.”
 Bradley and Natasha replied in sync, while waving bye to the classroom and taking turns shaking your hand.
 “Anytime, thank you.”
Jake then came last as he smiled down at you with sympathy and grace, before clutching your hand with a paper to put in it, he shook it firmly as he bid,
 “Thank you and your class for making my day better Miss, the pleasure was all ours.”
 If you could you would’ve ‘awed’ our loud with puppy eyes and heart floating around you, but in the reality of the moment you could only muster out,
 “I appreciate you Jake- I mean Lieutenant. Thank you.”
 Jake let a little chuckle slip before walking away from your presence, he then stopped in front of Mr.Cosmo, and took a deep breath while staring down at the short bald headed man, before saying,
  “She did nothing wrong. So don’t get mad at her... I’m sure you’ve allowed worse to happen here with other classrooms.”
 Jake then turned and winked at you, before disappearing. Your heart kinda sank when you couldn’t see or feel his presence around you anymore, but your thoughts on that feeling were long gone when you heard your boss declare,
“I have a substitute that will cover for the rest of the afternoon... you and I will talk in my office.”
 2 hours later...
You still hadn’t let go of the paper Jake had given you, and you hadn’t looked at it either. You sat in your car with tears as you’re replayed your bosses cruel words,
 ‘What are you trying to do to my students? Recruit them to be tiny soldiers? They’re kids, when they are grown ups then they could make that decision!! Bring them a clown or something that’s for their age!! Just because you grew up with a hard life doesn’t mean that you have to let them go through it too!! Let them be kids, let them make a mess and be loud, it’s what they do! And if I hear a complaint from there parents about todays stunt you pulled, I’ll fire you. I don’t have the time or energy to fight for a stubborn woman like you, I’ll just let you go. Now, it’ll be the last time you bring these kind of shenanigans of a people to my school... and you’re suspended for a week. Now get.’
 What felt like a napkin in your hands, you used to wipe your tears, and took a deep breath, then tossed the paper onto the back seat. You buckled your seat belt and started the car, turned around to look back while driving out, but that paper on the seat had something scribbled on it that caught your eye. You stepped on the brakes with quite a bit of force, and put the car in park,  reached to the back to grab the paper and read the most beautiful, cursive written message,
 ‘From Jake, to Miss.
Meet me at Hard Deck, beautiful. I’ll buy you a drink ;)’
Your face made a pout with awe, as you reread it like six times, heart pumping harder with joy as you eyed the word, ‘beautiful’. No guy in your life has ever called you beautiful. It was either ‘sexy’ or anything that wasn’t appropriate because of your body type. But it was nice to been seen differently, or more specifically, beautiful. You then backed out and began to drive home, wanting to get a good shower first before you went to the one and only Hard Deck. You knew Hard Deck well, it was actually your favorite bar, because the people were usually very nice, Penny Benjamin, the owner herself, was the best ever and just super sweet over all (She could be a cute sass sometimes but you adored it, it was a great energy to be around, especially when she talked about her boyfriend ‘Pete’ or ‘Maverick’) You were in and out of your house in 20 mins. You now wore a cute, green dress that had a belt on the waist and was flowy on the bottom, which rested barely above your knees. Your white sandals decorated with a flower on top kept your feet and the concrete floor separated. You free styled your hair and just let it rest freely, no pins or rubber bands. Your grandmother’s gold necklace that had a gold heart locket rested on your chest and gleamed in the sun, along with your matching gold earrings, and simple, thin bracelet. Now you’re happily on your way to Hard Deck, with ‘I Ain’t Worried’ blasting loudly and pleasing your ears as you let the wind come through your lowered windows and blow against you freshly. When you see the familiar bar come into view, and smile of relief and happiness raises to your face, and before you knew it, you were already running up the steps and bursted through the wooden tall doors. You breathed in the regular scent of fresh beer and roasted peanuts, and breathed out slowly as you took in the view while stepping inside. Everything was just as great as usual, the music played oldies softly on the jukebox, the jet-decorated pools tables were occupied by competitive players, and a few sailors occupied the seats at the main bar while the rest of the customers sat happily anywhere else. You approached the bar when you saw Penny in view, the only person you really knew and got along with, and she saw you too in that moment and cheered you closer,
  “Heyy girl! How have you been cutie?”
 You smiled shyly as you took the seat in front of her, and rested your arms on top comfortably as you did your best to respond happily, to not show that you were still upset about today’s episode at school.
  “I’ve been great! Just you know... happy that today’s Friday.”
 Penny eyed your curiously as she thought for a moment then replied,
 “You got into problems at the school?”
You gasped lowly before you scoffed,
 “How’d you know?”
Penny gave you a wink as she set down a cold root beer in front of you,
 “You have the exact same face Maverick does when he gets in trouble...”
She then waved off her assistant to take care of the orders for now as she then focused her complete attention on you as she added,
 “Tell me what happened, I’m listening.”
That was all it took for you to start spilling the tea for Penny, glad to see her understand your point of view and be on your side. She was comforting to you and supported your feelings towards the whole situation. Soon when you had finished, you realized you had been there for about 30 mins, and she saw you turn to look at the entrance twice, and couldn’t help but suspect something. Her eyebrows wiggles playfully as she asked,
 “So.. who are you expecting tonight?”
You look back at Penny at let out a little laugh, trying to not sound disappointed that you might of been stood up by Jake as your reply,
 “Oh no one... just looking around-“
Penny narrowed her gleaming eyes at you as she interrupted,
 “Cutie... don’t lie to me... I was in the same position you are in at some point in my life... who is it? Are you being stood up?”
 You hung your head low as you placed the little paper on the bar,
 “His name is Jake- well, Lieutenant Jake Seresin.. and well he left this in my hand after he left the classroom... is this asking for a date?”
 Penny’s looked behind you at the sound of the bell ringing on the opening door, and her mouth opened wide as she put forth,
 “Ooooh he just arrived! Look.”
You whipped your head so fast your surprised it didn’t snap or something of that sort, and there you saw the gorgeously handsome aviator walk in with his buddies you saw earlier that day, along with a few new faces, all who looked just as happy and friendly as him. It was like if you both were looking for each other, for instantly your eyes locked on one another. You watched Jake as he dismissed himself from his pals, then began to walk towards you with a confident walk. You turned to Penny quickly as you slightly panicked,
 “Penny help me I don’t know what to do-“
She then traded your root beer for a golden whiskey, and gave you a tip of advice,
 “Just be yourself, happy and charming, smart... drink this and sit back... you got this. Now drink it.”
 And in seconds she turned around and began to take orders from new customers that had arrived from base, spotting their uniforms or beige khakis. You chugged the shot of whiskey then tried to call her back for help and more advice, until you heard that endearing voice catch your attention and immediately melt your frantic heart,
 “Good afternoon darling.”
 Your eyes followed his voice and soon you were facing Jake, taking in his appearance. He wore a simple orange t-shirt that shaped his muscular chest and brought out how big and thick his biceps were. His long meaty thighs were covered with dark blue jeans, and he appeared taller in his cowboy boots. His hair looked a little disheveled but he still seemed to rock it very effortlessly. It took every nerve in your body to not drool at this heavenly sight or even kiss his feet, and you also did your very best to not let your eyes travel and capture every part of his body and take mental pictures to keep forever. Jake didn’t catch your staring for he was more worried about being late, then he went on to explain to you why he got there late, his smile looking apologetic,
  “I’m sorry I came late, my boss called us back to base for a quick check up, and I-I tried to tell him I had plans but-“
 Although he looked adorable stuttering and trying to make up for his late arrival, you couldn’t let him go on thinking that he was wrong for something he couldn’t control. With a steady but sweet tone you assured him,
 “No no, it’s ok. I promise... work is work. Just be glad that I’m still here and didn’t take you for a stood upper or something and just left.”
 Jake threw his head back lightly as he chuckled,
 “Oh no, I’m not one of those. Unless work calls me in. But thank you for staying, can I get your something? What do you like?”
 His smile and bright jaded eyes were giving their full attention to you, as he awaited your answer, to which you replied with a cheeky smile,
 “Surprise me.. cowboy.”
Jake raised his brows with a cute giggle,
“Ohh ok, I see where this is going. But don’t worry sugar, I got you covered.”
 He sent you a wink that made a chill go up your spine as your face burned because you were flustered. You listened to him as he called out to Penny with a loud enough voice to be heard, but it still sounded super sexy and adorable,
 “Penny! Penny my favorite barmaid!!”
 You could see the playful smirk Penny wore as she walked towards Jake with a sarcastic tone, 
 “Hangman... is it a whiskey for you and for your date?”
  Jake huffed a shy laugh, not realizing that Penny caught him once again with another girl, trying to find the ‘one’ as he usually said. But most of the girls he always brought only expected him to buy their drinks and take them to bed, which is something he wasn’t looking for anymore. Jake was already done with that kind of life, he was already hitting his 30s and was sick of one night stands that left him sad and alone in the mornings. Now he craved and desired someone to call ‘his own’, that wasn’t in his line of work, and could be with him for the long run... if not forever he hoped so, if they were the right person. He then turned to look at you carefully, to see if you approved of being called his date, and of course you were, as you beamed at him with your best smile. Penny soon placed two glasses of whiskey in front of you and Jake, sending you a wink as she mouthed to you,
 ‘It’s ok, relax.’
 You sent her a subtle nod and raised your glass towards Jake as he said,
 “Cheers.”
 “Cheers!”
You clinked your guys’ glasses and took a sip in sync. And began to chat about ones another lives, feeling free and comfortable with one another as you opened up more and more. Funny stories were told, a couple of cheesy jokes from Jake that he swore he got from his best friend ‘Rooster’. He told you the true reason behind his callsign ‘Hangman’, to which you laughed loudly at and had to take a break from that to gain composure and some air after laughing your lungs out. Jake was having a blast as he saw how bright red your cheeks turned and the thin layer of sweat that appeared on your face from the laughing episode he put you through. (He added fake parts to the story and acted the very exaggerated parts with his hands and hilarious facial expressions. He did it mainly to see you smile, but he got a bonus when he got your natural and contagious laugh too.)
 Soon when that moment died down, you told him your story and some facts about yourself, you too added a few ridiculously funny moments in your life that had him wheezing for a few seconds. (The light shade of pink on his cheeks from laughing hard looked definitely good on him) you too shared your passion and appreciation for Naval Aviation, sense your uncle was a part of it. He then connected the dots and asked if that was why you had invited them to the school, 
  “So that’s why you did that? No wonder! Because no one has ever pulled that before. But that’s so cool of you to do, looks liked they needed that and liked it overall.”
 You nodded approvingly,
 “Yup, they did...”
Then you looked down at your lap as you added, 
  “... but not their principal.”
Jake saw your change in expression, and placed his warm hand on your shoulder, and with a concerned tone he asked,
 “He wasn’t mean to you was he? Because you did nothing wrong.”
 His hand felt comforting on your shoulder, and gave you the boost you needed to answer honestly,
  “He was a little mean.. he suspended me actually... saying that I was forcing something onto the kids that wasn’t appropriate for their age.”
 Jake’s eyes scanned your sad face as he scoffed, not believing what he just heard,
 “Are you kidding me? That’s not inappropriate at all, it’s like.. gold. Someone appreciating the military of any branch is so amazing!”
 You looked up to Jake as you asked shyly,
  “You think so? I mean what if he’s right-“
“RIGHT? Darling... darling... no. He’s wrong for stopping you from teaching kids the importance of The Military- or Aviation and how we serve that way. My younger self would’ve killed to have you as a teacher. He would’ve loved you that’s for sure.”
 Your cheeks grew warm as you took in Jake’s words, they seemed so honest and sincere. You put your hand on his lower arm and patted it twice as you said,
 “Thanks, makes me feel better about what I did.”
 Jake followed your hand that left his arm and pouted for a second, wishing it stayed there longer, but he replied to you,
 “You should feel good about what you did, if not proud.”
 Just then a loud voice called to Jake from the back of the bar. You and Jake looked for the voice, and there you saw Bradley waving him off as he called again,
 “JAKE! COME SEE THIS!! It’ll be quick!”
Jake was about to tell him ‘no’, you could see it in the way he had started shaking his head, but your put your hand on his shoulder, stopping him,
 “It’s ok, you can go with them for a moment. They’re calling you, I’ll stay here and get another drink for now. Go on, sweets.”
 If it wasn’t because this was the first date and he just met you, Jake would’ve kissed you so hard till you stopped breathing. No other girl in his life in the history of his dating had ever let him go with is friends for a split second. (Cause Jake’s wing buddies always wanted his attention when they felt something cool was going on and they didn’t want him to miss it.) Jake jumped off his seat and held the energy of a child as he informed you,
“Just give me a minute... I’ll be right back darling. Stay here. Penny, give her another drink. On me, please.”
 There was no room for protesting when a new drink was placed in front of you, and you weren’t going to decline it when he was happily buying you drinks, so happily you too it and drank the whole thing. Feeling the beer go down to your throat into your stomach was refreshing for a minute, you no longer felt shy and uncomfortable, instead you felt strong and the boss of the hour. After downing a few more, you felt a little more loose and slightly buzzy, but still in control of yourself, or so you thought. But then someone took a seat next to you, and pulled your arm towards them as they gossiped only your ear,
 “Omg your date is going hard on another girl.”
 You looked at the blonde girl who was the one  next to you and were completely confused as she added,
 “He hasn’t let her go sense she’s approached him.”
She then gripped your jaw and turned your face to see them, in the back. And there you saw Jake’s back facing you as you saw a certain pair of hands rest on his back, as if she was hugging him. You felt a dart of hurt hit your chest as you saw them, you could only think,
 ‘He just left me here for her! Why would he-‘
 “Do you want to get him back?”
The blondes voice brought you back to reality, and you asked for her to repeat and clarify,
 “What? What do you mean?”
The blonde flipped her hair back and showed off her cute sleeveless blouse, and appealing chest. You in that moment admitted to yourself that she was so much better than you in everything, she looked perfect. You gulped down for a second as she repeated,
“If you want to get him back... you have to beat her in a beer chug, fair and square, let’s settle this like grown women if you want him.”
 You looked back to look for Jake and saw him being dragged by the other girl, and sank into your seat when you saw how much more prettier she was than you.
‘Damn she’s gorgeous... beats me for sure....’
Jake’s face held a smile at you, but it didn’t look so genuine as earlier, as his arm was being held tightly by the brunette. But he was quick to muster out,
 “They say you want to participate in a challenge? To win something?”
 Your eyes found the blonde as you were going to say,
 ‘No, I don’t recall doing that.’
But the blonde answered for you as she said with a squeaky voice,
 “Yes!! Her and my bestie Brenda are going to have a beer chug contest!! And who ever wins-“
 She then made her head tilt towards Jake, as she ended with,
“Leaves with the prize... Let’s see who wants it more.”
 Jake looked at you confused, but agreed to it when you confirmed that you’d go for it, though you weren’t totally convinced.
 “Yeah... that’s.. the plan. She wanted me try it out.”
 You caught the attention of the surrounding customers, and soon they began to cheer out loud, supporting the upcoming challenge. You honestly in that moment thought that Jake was behind all this, sense the brunette and blond seemed to have settled the plan already beforehand, and how the blond told you and the brunette told him. And from how she touched Jake and held his attention, it  seemed like he had known her for a while and knew about this new challenge. Soon the rules were settled down, to which you didn’t hear half of, as you were too nervous about losing the challenge and losing Jake, as well as a little upset thinking that he had set you up for a challenge, thinking you were a game, and lastly you were upset that you agreed to it all because you were confused and didn’t want to say no. You stood at the pool table in the back, with 10 glasses of beer in front of you. And on the other side of the pool table, stood the brunette, with the same amount of glasses as well. In the center of the table laid a white  napkin, which was to be grabbed and held up when you finished first, or at least you thought that was the reason why it was there. Penny stood at the edge of the table, and was the one to count down for it to begin. As you prepared yourself you felt a hand fall on your back, as a soft voice followed,
 “You sure you’re going to do this? You don’t have to, you haven’t started.”
 That was Jake who was speaking to you, but you were determined to show him and the girls, that you could take it (I mean after all you thought they were setting you up for defeat, so you wanted  to prove that you could win) You sent him a firm nod,
 “Yup, I got this.”
 Joke didn’t look to happy by your response, which confused you for a minute, you thought he’d be smug and proud about it. But you stopped thinking about it all when you hear Penny shout,
 “Ready ladies?!”
“Ready!!”
 “Definitely.”
After saying ‘definitely’, you took a deep breath and waited for the bell to ring, which came quickly,
 DING DING DING!!!!
“GO!!”
The cheers of the bar grew so loud when the challenge began, some screaming the brunette’s name and others screaming the word ‘CHUG’. You were downing your 4th cup when you heard a familiar Texan accent shout from behind you,
 “Come on!! You got this Teacher girl!! Go go go!! Dagger Squad, cheer her on with me!!”
 Soon you heard more people cheer you on, calling you ‘Miss’ or ‘Teacher’, which to you thought was kinda cute to be honest. You were on your 7th cup, thinking you were going to be able to take down the rest, until a stabbing pain hit your stomach, making you put your cup down and groan. Jake was quick to grab your waist as he asked worriedly,
 “Hey hey! are you ok? Talk to me.”
But the blonde pulled him away as she warned him,
 “You can’t help her or talk to her until she’s finished, just let her be. Move back.”
Jake grew a little upset as some people agreed with her, and made him move back from you. You missed his touch and voice, but nonetheless decided to keep on, taking on the last cups like a champ. Everyone around began to shout in sync as you almost finished up,
 “CHUG CHUG CHUG!!”
You really didn’t want to be kicked out, but your tummy couldn’t take anymore, you had 3 glasses of beer left out of the 10. You felt your tummy clench again in pain, but this time it was worse, like if someone was pulling your intestines out, but thankfully  you were miraculously on the last cup. You slammed the empty glass of beer onto the bar, making it bounce and fall over. Then you reached for the napkin, and you lifted it up up, thinking you were doing the right thing. But that’s when you heard a few disappointed ‘ohs’ and a silence fill the room, which made you drop the napkin and look around, seeing the people’s faces look sad and sympathetic for you. You scrunched up your face with pain that started to grow in your stomach more as you asked curiously,
 “What’s wrong?”
The blonde came to stand in front of you as she boasted,
  “You silly bitch, I didn’t say who finished first won, I said you lost if you raised your napkin first... but sense you were such in a hurry to win someone that isn’t fit for you, you didn’t listen. And now you lost.”
 You felt a twist of pain stab your gut, along with a wave of embarrassment and shame hit you. You felt the tears beginning to grow in your eyes as you realized that you had been played, played horribly. Slamming your debit card onto the pool table you put forth,
 “Let’s carry on with the deal. I lost, I’ll pay for everyone’s drinks.”
 The blonde pushed your card back to you as she shook her head ‘no’, having a blast as she watched your face showing pain and confusion,
  “Nuh uuuhhh.... the loser gets thrown out, by the winner. Girls! I need assistance!!”
 You held your hands up as you protested,
 “Wait- I didn’t know! Hold on!-“
All the seagulls that rested peacefully on the beach ground in front of Hard Deck all flew away when the heard a loud ‘Thud’ and groan of pain leave someone’s lips, yours, as you hit the ground painfully. You rolled onto your back slowly as you tried not to move too much, you had landed on your tummy, and face planted into the sand. You thought you’d could lay there for a few seconds, to collect yourself to cry later, but your stomach had different plans, when it chose to reject all the liquor you had drunk. You felt it coming and came up to a quick stand and made it to the closest trash bin before heaving everything out. You hugged the top of the bin as you gave everything away, soon your body was trembling with pain and from the amount of force it was taking you to get rid of everything. After what felt like eternity, it all stopped, and now you stayed there letting the salvia from your lips fall into the bin and your tears from your eyes follow, as your began to sob. You should’ve known that that blonde was up to something, and that she was lying, but you were blinded by the fear of losing Jake to a girl you thought was far better than you, so you didn’t see it. From the distance you heard shouting, but chose to ignore it for now, 
 ‘It’s probably someone else’
You thought that as you continued to hear that person shout, but soon the words became understandable, and your ears perked up at it,
 “HEY MISS! Sweetheart where are you?!”
That was Jake, once again, his voice so smooth but still showing worry, as it came closer and closer to you, but now gave words that were to comfort you,
 “Oh Sweet stars... it’s ok.. I’m right here. I -I brought your stuff too. You’re ok..”
You nodded at his information and soon felt your hair being pulled up and held in his hands, clearing it from your face so it wouldn’t get dirty. You were about to call Jake out for the beer challenge but then the wave of shame hit you again, and you started throwing up again. He rubbed your back and stood tall, blocking you from others seeing you. When you finished you wanted to try against and call him out for the beer challenge, but his next words stopped you as he confessed,
 “Sweetheart.. God, they played you... you shouldn’t have listened to them. Even if you thought that they looked cooler or would mock you. Why did you say, yes? Now your tummy’s hurting.”
 His free palm rested on your stomach rubbing it slowly as to comfort you, and feeling his touch made you cry,
 “I thought it was your plan.... and I wanted to do it for you... like to.. damn it.. I don’t know.”
 You then stood up and wiped you mouth with your hands, not willing to face him as you started to cry silently. You faced the trash can, but was pulled away from it by the hand until you stood far away from it, near the shore. Jake put your bag on the sand by your feet before grabbing your hands to say,
  “It’s wasn’t my plan at all.. I thought it was yours.. but then I heard them laughing and saying that they had won me or some garbage like that... saying that you had fallen into their trap. That’s when I knew it was all a set up. I told Penny about their dirty bet, and she is making them pay for mistreating you... and I came to look for you.”
 You looked up and Jake and asked,
 “But why? Why would you come for me... I’m not the kind of girl you want to be around.. I’m not like.. them you know?”
 Jake let go of one hand and held you chin as he asked in a whisper,
“Why would you put yourself in such a vulnerable position then... for me?”
Hearing Jake whisper his concern to you only made your knees grow weaker to stand on, and more tears fall out,
“I.. I guess I was trying to impress you. I want to be that kind of girl you want.. and I thought I’d do that if I won the challenge.”
You kept her head hung low, ashamed and afraid that Jake might confirm what you feared most, the fact that no one could ever be impressed by you. You were a lonely woman, who depended on crazy teenagers to make you happy and keep you company during the day. You had a hard and long job, trying to steer these young people to success all while trying to raise yourself as well. At night the silence and darkness took over and the only place to hide from it was under your fluffy comforters. So, with all this, you could never be the dream girl all guys or even girls wanted, so were ready to give it up, walk away, and never see Hard Deck or Jake again, it’ll all be too humiliating once again. You then bent down to pick up your bag from the sandy ground, brushing off the few pecks of sand that stubbornly stayed on. With your sad eyes locked to the ground you began to shift your feet away from Jake and let his hands go as you said in a soft voice, trying to hide your embarrassment,
  “I’m so sorry.. It’s was nice meeting you Jake, goodbye-“
 A warm large hand grabbed your wrist gently as his sweet voice followed,
 “Woah woah where do you think your going? No... stay, it’s ok.”
You looked up at Jake confused, while he tugged you closer to him to stand in front of his broad form. Before you could question his motive or moves, he explained clearly and expressively with glistening, caring eyes,
 “You don’t need to impress me, I’m not- a King or something. I don’t expect you to be like everyone else either, it’s ok to be different. You’re more than ok, your amazing actually. You don’t have to be like them to be great. I mean, I could never handle so many young- crazy kids at once... I can barely handle myself... but you? Damn... I’d kill to have a day in your life... so I could feel what being patient and tolerant and so sweet is like.”
 The clean, beach air got caught in your throat as you took in Jake’s sincere words,  not being able to fully believe that he was being honest, until he added,
  “Believe me... I’ve never seen such a woman like you, and that’s... you’re so much better than anything. Forget everything that happen today, that doesn’t count.”
 You could tell Jake was getting more flustered by his own words, as he worded out what he felt about you he grew more shy about himself. His proud, smirk was long gone and the playful cockiness in his tone had too vanished, now it was replaced with softness, and a true calamity and comfort. You tried not to cry, out of finally feeling and being seen or out of relief that he didn’t let you go like everyone else always did, but you successfully failed when his calloused thumb found your cheek to wipe away your fallen tears. He then caressed your cheek and let his loving gaze search your face, patiently waiting for you to say anything back. You looked down quickly to gather your words, but he tilted your chin up to face him as he put forth,
 “Look at me when you say it, don’t hide.”
You opened your mouth then closed it, the words were all there but just couldn’t come out, it was like if your speaking ability had just failed you. So you did what you thought best to express your gratitude and feelings, you then threw yourself into his arms and wrapped your arms around his waist, tugging your head impossibly close to his chest, so close you could hear the change in his heartbeat, from slow and steady, to a now faster pace. 
 A low ‘oh’ was heard above you, but you didn’t dare let go, you just held on. And very soon you felt his arms come around you too and hug you tightly, along with a kiss on your head with a bonus,
  “I got you... I got you sweetheart.”
Once hidden in the safety and comfort of his arms, you grew the confidence to confess with a little sniffle,
“Thank you Jake... f-for seeing me.”
Jake awed with sincerity and pulled you away by the shoulders, then cradled your face as he looked down to see your full face, which was now adorning tear streaks and bright pink cheeks. A cute, soft smile lifted on his face, as he cooed,
  “I’ve seen you sense the beginning... and God I can’t peel my eyes off of you... I really like you.”
  Your eyebrows shot up with surprise and your mouth fell open, but you nonetheless, even in your shock state of this gorgeous man’s confession, you were able to reply back clearly with honesty,
 “I really like you too.”
You were able to see Jake drop his shoulders as if he was relieved, and his smile grew even larger, which made you even more happy and comfortable with him. But then you saw a sudden change in the way he held your face, and how his face began to hold a look of serious concentration, you raised your hands and held onto his wrists, as you worded nervously,
“Jake-“
 “May I kiss you?”
His interruption wasn’t missed, and neither was your excited answer,
 “Yes! Wait but I threw up-“
Jake chuckled and shrugged,
 “I don’t care.”
“Oh- oomph!!”
When Jake’s lips connected to yours, it was like if all the buried mines that held onto fear of not being loved or of being rejected, which rested on the field of your life, buried in your heart, had exploded and disappeared. All were replaced with a flower of love that Jake began to plant in your new garden. Butterflies exploded in her chest and set free everything you had always wanted to feel. Your palms rested on his chest as he tugged you closer and dipped your head to the side, wanting to gain more of your kiss and deepen it, deepen it like he was deepening his new love and desire for you. You wouldn’t care if the world ended all around you, or if the stars fell all around you, you knew you’d stay in this place and moment with Jake, for here, in his arms with his lips on yours, you felt safe and held, even with your guys’ eyes closed, trying to embrace the moment, you felt seen. When you pulled away for air Jake chased your lips, pecking them a couple more times before resting his lips on your forehead, keeping them there as he held you in a hug. You grew comfortable in his embrace, but your tummy was still upset, making painful turns inside which caused you to hide your face in his chest and whimper. Jake cooed you to stay strong for him, as he instructed,
 “Hold onto my neck, sweetheart.”
You whimpered an ‘ok’ as you did just that, not expecting him to move quickly and pick you up bridal style, beginning to walk towards the parked vehicles as he said,
 “Let me take care of you... do you like Mac and cheese? I make the best.”
 You peeked your head out of his chest as you beamed,
 “Really! I love Mac and cheese... would you-“
 “Of course! I’ll make you that and uh.. um... we’ll take it to your house, or do you want to stay at mine? Is that too weird?”
 Kissing Jake’s jaw you answered,
 “I can stay at yours... as long as I get my Mac and cheese.. I’ll be just fine.”
 With a sigh Jake replied,
 “Great! I’ll be happy with that-“
 “Oh but wait!!”
You then clutched Jake’s shirt as you cried,
 “I need my teddy bear Mr.Snuggles, I can’t sleep without him!! He’s like my sleeping support friend.”
 Jake stopped in his tracks and looked down at you, not being able to help himself as he fell harder for your and your different but adorable behavior. He kissed your forehead and promised,
“I’ll be your Mr.Snuggles tonight, don’t you worry darling.”
He began to walk to his truck and listened to you as you asked,
 “You like snuggles? Because I’ll hug tight and all.”
 He helped you in the truck and buckled you as he assured you with one big kiss on the cheek,
 “All I want is you... to be with you and to feel you, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. And I want to protect that as much as possible... and give you as many snuggles as possible. Everything you’ll ever need.. I‘lol take care of. Ok?”
 You nodded and cherished his gaze on you, as he lastly said,
 “I see you.”
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harrytheehottie · 11 months
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THE FIVE TIMES YOU KNEW: 2016
word count: 5.6k masterlist share your thoughts
A 4th of July celebration at NOBU was the last place Brooklyn would have liked to spend her Saturday afternoon. A holiday weekend was supposed to be spent sleeping in, eating every snack you can get your hands on and spending the rest of your day lounging between your indoor and outdoor couch. One thing Brooklyn learned living in Los Angeles is, you never turn down an invite to a party. So, when the Bootsy Bellows 4th of July All White Party at Nobu Malibu flier made its way to her group chat, she knew she had no choice but to change her plans, find an outfit and pay the exorbitant Uber price to make it happen. 
Harry Styles has spent the last six months on his last tour with One Direction. A last tour that a few months ago he thought would involve all five members but like a lot of Harry’s life in the last five years, he was always prepared to expect the unexpected. It wouldn’t be a shock if Harry admitted that everything has just felt different since March 25, 2015. The feeling of his every move being watched is not a new phenomenon; it's something he has had to deal with since he was 16. Now the one sided conversations between him and paparazzi have shifted from romantic relationships to his thoughts on the band. The band that he knew was contractually done on December 13, 2015. So, when he lost one friendship he picked up another, this time convincing his longtime friend Xander Ritz to come on tour with him. It only took one drunken night in West Hollywood and a breakfast at his favorite diner the next morning to get his friend on board. 
Recently, Harry found himself spending a lot of his 21st year of life in Los Angeles. It kind of just worked out that way, Xander was from the East coast and wanted to spend a summer in LA while traveling around North America and Harry had the perfect bachelor pad for the both of them. The 4th of July was the perfect excuse for them to attend as many private parties they could because if Harry has learned one thing about Los Angeles it’s that if you don’t want to be asked about a private matter, attend a party that will have far more interesting people than the guy whose band is in shambles and according to The Daily Mail can’t spend a weekend without a new companion. Tonight, his party of choice was the All White 4th of July party at NOBU. 
Harry puts on his favorite pair of white skinny jeans and a white button down, his chocolate brown hair that’s grown past his collarbones and right to the middle of his swallows tattoos is in a mess and he can’t be bothered to deal with it. So, he does what he’s been doing for the last six months, puts in a shit ton of dry shampoo, runs his hands through his hair until he gets the look that he wants, puts on a pair of sunglasses on the way out and meets Xander in the back of the Escalade they always started their nights in. 
“Have you ever been to this party?” Xander asks Harry, sitting next to him in an almost identical outfit, trading the white jeans for a pair of black ones and a cream cardigan over a white tee. 
“Never really did much on the 4th, think this is the first one I haven’t had a show to put on or a manager warning me about the dangers of a firework show.” 
“Biggest boyband in the world and they won’t even let you out during one of the biggest party weekends in this country?” Xander asks, flabbergasted at the realities of Harry’s life in the band. 
“Think you answered your own questions there,” Harry responds as he looks back down at his phone, scrolling his Instagram feed to see who he knows will be attending this party so he can come prepared. Their routine has been like this since Harry split up with his ex and Xander came into his life. This was the last summer of One Direction and Harry had no idea what his future held for him but what he did know is that he was guaranteed to leave with someone on his arm at the end of the night.
&&
Brooklyn spent thirty minutes rallying her friends out of the house - it was an impossible situation, getting six girls ready all at the same time but when she got the notification that the Uber was outside she was heading towards the front door, “You all have five minutes to get outside and into this car or I’ll be heading to this party alone.” She yelled as she grabbed her purse and keys from the entry table and headed outside. 
Brooklyn’s friends were an ambitious bunch, they were always ready to take on any and every invite that came their way. She had been living in Los Angeles for almost a year now and it definitely was a town that was filled with a certain type of mid 20’s crowd but she was a smart girl and could easily read through the bullshit. So when she made friends with the three girls living next door to her who were born and raised in the city Brooklyn knew she found her people. 
“Remember girls, we’ll never be this young again.” Callie exclaimed after everyone piled into the Uber. 
“Oh shut up, it’s a 4th of July party, why do you always get so weirdly motivational?” Brooklyn shouted from the back seat. Callie was the closest friend to Brooklyn in the group, she was the first girl of the three that she met and instantly clicked with. 
As the car drove up the Pacific Coast Highway taking the day moon that was slowly appearing brighter and the blue skies that were tinting towards pinks and oranges, Brooklyn felt something telling her that she made the right decision going out tonight. After a 45 minute drive from West Hollywood, the group was quickly let out of the car and made it to the open bar which was probably the only perk of these LA parties, but Brooklyn knew with an open bar and this many people, it was going to be pretty difficult to try and get the bartender's attention. 
&&
Harry has been trying to make his way to the bar for the last fifteen minutes. He’s been sucked into meaningless conversation with Xander and a man who's already had too much to drink about some East coast sports team and all Harry can think about it is how badly he wants to fill his drink. He usually has a rule about not drinking the weeks leading up to a tour but it was a holiday and rules didn’t apply on holiday. So, he made a beeline for the bar to refill his drink of choice. 
Harry weaved through the sea of white, off-whites and creams trying not to think twice about every person who did a double take as they saw him. It’s the most annoying habit that Harry has picked up, being able to read a person's reaction to him and immediately know how the interaction is going to go. Luckily, this event wasn’t a place where people actually came up to you because they have their own egos to inflate. Harry finally made it to the bar, surrounded by other people shouting their drink orders at the already overworked staff. He shook his head at the sights surrounding him, scanning the bar stools to find an empty one, his legs and body moving toward the right side of the bar before he could take in her pull. 
&&
Brooklyn finally got the bartender's attention, after spending the last fifteen minutes trying to call them over, she looked away and back for a second and he was making a beeline towards her, ‘I still got it’ Brooklyn thought to yourself and just as she began to speak she was cut off by the person next to her. 
“Casamigos, straight up,” the slow British drawl from the man that appeared out of thin air and spoke before Brooklyn could, she looked up at him and as her rolled eyes met his furrowed brows with a questionable ‘what?’ looking at his face unaware that she was annoyed at him cutting her off, the man spoke again “Actually man, can you make that two?” 
She was annoyed at this stranger with his long brown hair, his shirt that was hanging together by one button paired with the smuggest look on his face as he took a seat at the empty stool next to her. The bartender was back with two drinks in hand, placing one in front of Brooklyn, “Just put it on my tab, it’s under Xander.” The man moved his body and was now facing Brooklyn. She took more of him in, the way the bottom of his chocolate brown hair had a slight curl to it, his green eyes that made her heart skip a beat, no matter how hard she tried to stop it. 
“Do you do this often?” Brooklyn asked, as she picked up the glass in front of her.
“Do what often?” He moved his glass up to hers waiting for a cheer. 
“Find the one girl alone at the party, buy her a drink at the bar, spend the rest of the night attempting to get her to go home with you?” She answered, taking her drink in, ignoring his invitation for a cheer.
“Attempting?” He lifted one of his brows, questioning her quick assumption of his character. 
“Xander was it?” Brooklyn asked, remembering the name he gave the bartender not that long ago. He began to laugh, throwing his head back “What’s so funny? Is that not your name?” A sudden flush of embarrassment taking over. 
“It’s Harry,” he replied, taking his glass of Casamigos to his mouth and downing it all in one go before flashing you another one of his smug smiles. 
This came easy for him and the son of a bitch knew it.
She paused, searching for a witty reply, something to have the upper hand and find your way out of this situation and back with your friends. 
“Well Harry, next time, this,” she moved her hands in the air around him, “would have probably worked if you asked me what I wanted to drink.”
“Noted, for next time.” 
“I’m afraid this was your only shot and you blew it.” Brooklyn sat up from her spot at the bar, taking one last chug of her drink before walking into the crowd looking for her friends. Trying her hardest not to look back at him to see if he was watching her.
&&
Harry was up for a challenge. 
The chase, it was his favorite part of the game. He would be lying if he said being himself didn’t make things easier in the romantic sense but when he met a girl, or a guy, who didn’t think twice about who he was and treated him like anyone else? Now, that was something he wanted. Needed even.
So when the girl at the bar who clearly had no clue who he was, and boy could he tell when someone did and was playing it too cool. He knew he had to find her again. 
Harry sat up from his seat and began scanning the room, trying to conceal his desire to find her again while coming up with a game plan on what he would do. 
&&
“I’m an idiot.” 
As soon as Brooklyn found her friends, they were on to her like bees to honey asking about the man that they were watching her speak to at the bar.
“Babe, that was Harry Styles like from One Direction Harry Styles?” “Did you get his number?” “What did he say to you?” “What did he smell like?” They were all speaking at once and it was hard for her to catch up.
“Wait, he’s what?” Brooklyn said confused and trying not to let the embarrassment of not knowing him get to her. 
“Did he hit on you? Did he ask for your number? Please tell us you said yes,” Callie spoke excitedly, she rushed over to you leaving the man that she was talking to standing by. 
“No he didn’t hit on me,” Brookyln ran through what happened in her head a few times as her friends huddled around her - if they weren’t getting any attention at the party before, they definitely were now, “anyways, we can discuss this later?” She said firmly, trying to divert the conversation in any way she could. And after some convincing Brooklyn’s friends went back to mingling amongst the people at the party, it was weird this underlying feeling that Brooklyn felt since the moment at the bar but she couldn’t put her finger on it and tried hard to push it away. 
&&
Harry walked toward the back patio of Nobu, avoiding the same looks he got on the way in, 
trying to locate Xander in the sea of white. He walked around the party, making small talk with those who came up to him. It wasn’t until he was talking to some music industry guy who was trying his best to get Harry to come in for a meeting, and he knew he couldn’t do that but was generous enough to give the guy his number. That’s when he spotted Xander mingling amongst a group of girls - a smirk immediately on his face.
“Xander!” Harry yelled to get his attention, Xander and the girl that he was standing next to both looking up to figure out where the noise was coming from and immediately when the girl next to him’s mouth went slightly ajar upon realizing that it was Harry who yelled out for the guy she was schmoozing with at the party, Harry knew she knew who he was. This wasn’t something that he really cared about but it was something that he appreciated - people making it known that they are aware of him rather than doing the opposite as a way in. 
Xander waved Harry over, Harry noticed a third person with their back facing him, they weren’t in his eye line when he first stopped Xander. Harry maneuvered through the crowd as fast as he could avoiding those who tried to speak to him. 
“Was the bar line really that bad?” Xander asked just as Harry was in earshot of him. 
“No man, just got caught up in conversation with someone.” Harry replied, he had his hand out ready to introduce himself to the woman that Xander was standing next to and just as she turned his body he couldn’t help but start slowly laughing to himself. 
“Am I missing something?” The girl standing next to Xander said to Brooklyn. Harry took a mental note of how close she was standing next to his good friend, silently thanking God for making finding the girl from the bar easier for him. 
“No,” both Harry and Brooklyn spoke at the same time. Harry took the lead in continuing, “We just met at the bar, s’just funny how small this party is.” 
“Harry this is Callie,” Brooklyn introduced him to her friend. 
“Brooklyn and Callie? What are the odds of those two names becoming friends?” Harry joked after shaking Callie’s hand and re-introducing Xander to Brooklyn. 
“I guess we never really thought about that,” Brooklyn replied. She wasn’t giving him anything to work with. 
At first, Harry thought Brooklyn just had a good poker face. Xander continued chatting up Callie which left Harry and Brooklyn together on a random corner of Nobu. She was friendly, laughing at his jokes and telling him the minimum about herself. He knew that she didn’t want to allow herself the distraction of him but the way she scrunched up her nose when she laughed and her bangs perfectly framed her face and how she’d subconsciously grab the underside of his arm to lean in closer to tell him something or be able to hear him clearly. She was slowly cozying up to him. That hard exterior cracking with a warm feeling coursing through Harry that he hadn’t felt in a long time. 
As the night came to an end and fireworks filled the Malibu skies, Harry and Brooklyn spotted their friends walking towards them in the crowd. It was now or never for Harry, he shifted in his seat biting the inside of his mouth, a nervous habit he’d had since he was a child. 
“I think you should come to my show next week,” Harry blurted out. Brooklyn was looking up at the night sky to take in what he said, she looked over at him with a confused look on her face. So, he repeated himself a little louder, “Come to my show next week. We’re playing Levi’s stadium in Santa Clara, I can arrange everything — car, tickets wherever you want? Backstage even. I’d like you there.” She looked at Harry with her wide hazel eyes, brows furrowed following along to what he was saying. He blew it, he thought to himself as the silence between the two of them grew, it felt like minutes since he asked the question and was waiting for her response. 
“You’re doing that thing again,” Brooklyn says, watching Harry intently.
“What thing?”
“The thing where you think who you are is going to impress me.” She took a pause between her sentences, Harry’s ego was only slightly bruised, waiting to see if what she had to say next was going to be the final dagger to the heart but just as she was about to respond, Xander and Callie had made their way back over to us.
“Brooklyn, Xander invited me to Harry’s show next week in Santa Clara! You have to come with me!” Callie said enthusiastically. Harry looked over to Brooklyn with a cheeky smile plastered on his face, whether she liked it or not, he was going to see her next week. 
And Harry couldn’t wait.
&&
“Fuck my life,” Brooklyn muttered under her breath as she went to change into outfit number four. She wasn’t sure why trying to find an outfit for a One Direction concert was turning into the hardest decision she had to make in the last few years but it sure was looking to be that way. 
She was going to support her friend Callie in her pursuit with a new man. They had been talking since the Nobu party and Brooklyn was excited to see her friend find a nice guy. What she wasn’t so keen on was that it meant Harry would be there - not just existing but performing on stage and behind arranging everything for them tonight. And Brooklyn wasn’t going to fall for the schtick, she could see the play before he even said a word to her. 
So, when the driver called Callie to let her know he was five minutes away, Brooklyn settled on a pair of black jeans and her Eagles vintage tee paired with an oversized jean jacket. The two girls made their way downstairs to meet the driver and sit in the hour and a half traffic to Levi’s Stadium. 
&&
Brooklyn had been to her fair share of concerts but nothing quite like this. The audience was majority young girls and women of all ages. Most men were over the age of 40 and accompanied by their young daughters. The energy was palpable from the moment they got on the stadium grounds.
Callie quickly texted Xander letting him know they had arrived and were heading to the box office to pick up their tickets. They found their way to their seats — row 1 of the second stage. 
Harry immediately spotted her when he walked on stage with the other boys. Xander, Callie and Brooklyn right in the middle of the row in the direct eye line of him. 
This was perfect.
Brooklyn was in awe watching Harry command the stage. His interactions with people in the crowd, the off the cuff banter with the boys and the crowd. He was truly in his element and she couldn’t get enough. Her eyes never wavering from his. He was wearing the same black skinny jeans that never seem to leave his body with a gray t-shirt. His long brown hair blowing in the wind as the pink and orange sunset filled the sky. 
All the boys began to make their way towards the second stage near where the three of them were sitting. And like a scene from a movie, Harry looked Brooklyn dead in the eye as he began walking towards her introducing the next song.
“Santa Clara, how are we doing tonight?” Harry spoke through the microphone and was immediately met with screams from the audience, “this next song is going to be a special one because…” he took a long pause “I have friend Brooklyn in the audience who this is their first show like this they’re attending and I need the crowd to show them what you’ve got, alright?” He never wavered eye contact and Brooklyn could’ve sworn he winked at her as well. 
Callie grabbed Brooklyn’s arm and shook her, “Girl! He’s talking about you!” She exclaimed. The crowd of girls around you in awe that Harry knew who you were and called you out by name and proceeded to sing like none of that just happened. The crowd screamed at the top of their lungs as Harry continued to put on a show. Whatever Harry was trying to do with all of this was working, Brooklyn felt the butterflies in her stomach creep up no matter how much she tried to push them away. 
They made their way backstage, following Xander through the maze of the stadium, he handed us both AAA passes and led us to the joint green room. It was filled with people, a crafts table filled with food for them to munch on which Brooklyn was grateful for. There was table tennis, some of the band members were playing on the gaming console, there was also a toddler running around who Brooklyn later found out was the daughter of their hairstylist -- what a cool way to grow up she thought. Everyone congratulated the boys on an amazing show. Harry introduced the girls to everyone in the room -- Brooklyn trying to ignore all the eyebrow raises when he said her name suddenly putting two and two together that she was the girl that he was teasing on stage. 
Finally, when they got a moment of quiet between the two of them Brooklyn began to speak to Harry. “You know, when I said who you are doesn’t impress me? I don’t mean it in a rude way - it’s just.” She took a pause, “I’m sure people throw themselves at you and big you up because of who you are but you don’t need to do all that. You’re actually a really cool guy minus all of this.” 
A slow dimpled grin appeared on Harry’s face, that feeling he got at Nobu and seeing her actually in her seat at the show, and her face when he dedicated the song to her, it was all coming back. 
“But don’t get me wrong, I’m here for all the perks as well.” Brooklyn laughed. 
This was more than just getting what you can’t have, Harry thought to himself as he watched her laugh the same laugh that’s been playing in his head since the 4th of July. 
&&
Brooklyn and Harry kept in touch after that concert, they exchanged numbers and became fast friends. Most of their relationship was through texts and sporadic facetime calls. It was nice to have a friend that was completely removed from one another's lives so they were able to bitch and moan without the other having to take someone’s side but theirs. That was something Harry brought up early on, he was getting frustrated with making the new album, they were under a strict schedule and were actively mixing and mastering the album while on the road and wrapping up the tour. 
“S’like I can’t get a second to myself.” Harry was ranting on the phone, he was somewhere in Europe and you were making your lunch at home. “I”m going from the stage to these makeshift studios to make sure everything is sorted and then a photoshoot and it just never ends.”
“I’m sorry, I get how that can be very frustrating. Do you feel like you’re pulling the most weight because of the absence of him in the band?” She didn’t want to say the name but she knew Harry would understand where she’s coming from. 
“You know I’ve never had someone ask me that before?”
Immediately Brooklyn was filled with guilt of crossing a line. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean--”
“No no no, it’s a good thing. You’re making me think about things I haven’t before.” Harry responded. 
The next few months went that way -- texts and facetimes until Harry was back in LA for promotion of the new album and the last handful of shows that the band would ever perform. Their friendship was blooming and they both wondered how the other felt about them but neither wanted to cross the night. When Harry would come back to his house in LA with groceries in the fridge and a note from Brooklyn letting him know she stopped by (he gave her the code to the gate when a package arrived and he needed someone to grab it and she offered). 
He knew that was something that someone who has feelings for you did but he also enjoyed the friendship and didn’t want to ruin a good thing. But when Brooklyn would complain about the guys she was seeing Harry couldn’t help the jealousy that would course through him. He wished he could let her know that none of them were worth their time. Instead he tried his best to ignore all his feelings and be as objective as possible even if it was one of the hardest things he’s had to do. 
&&
“Did you see?” Callie had invited herself into Brooklyn’s apartment, it was the day after New Years weekend and Brooklyn was having her usual slow morning after a holiday weekend. She was just waking up, pouring herself a cup of coffee when she heard her friend walk through the door. 
“See what?” Brooklyn asked, assuming it was a not so flattering image of her weekend. But nothing could prepare her for what she was about to see. Image after image of Harry on a yacht in the middle of the Caribbean island with a familiar face on his side. Brooklyn felt her heart drop in her stomach. She knew that he had this trip booked for months -- a vacation for him, his mom and step-dad with his soon to be manager and his family where Harry would then sign the contract for his new record deal. It was something he had been talking about for months after swearing Brooklyn to secrecy; there was just one major thing he forgot to leave out. 
“Wow” was all she could get out as she scrolled and scrolled looking through every single one. He seemed happy, relaxed, care-free. He wasn’t worried about what the cameras were going to catch. It was far from the Harry that she knew,
“I’m sorry, I just saw it on Instagram and wanted to be the first person to tell you.”
“It’s no big deal, it’s not like we were dating or anything,” Brooklyn said trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince Callie that she was okay, “he can do whatever he wants.”
She spent the rest of the night scrolling through the same ten images over and over again until she fell asleep. 
&&
&&
Harry called her when he got back to LA. He wasn’t surprised that he was met with a no answer. He knew he should’ve let her know everyone that was going to be on the yacht. He opted to omit the complete truth which left Brooklyn more hurt in the end. If the roles were reversed he wouldn't have liked the person he would’ve become and he hates that she had to find out about everything through the tabloids rather than through Harry. He was fucked. He reached out to Callie and she let him know that Brooklyn just wanted to be alone and would reach out to him on her own time. So he sent one final text before heading to his favorite place to decompress - the studio. 
I’m sorry. I’m a dickhead and I take full responsibility for everything over the last few weeks. Your friendship means more to me than any girl and I really want to speak to you but if you never want to hear from me again… I’ll understand. H xx
When Harry pulled into the studio and grabbed his phone out of the cup holder he was surprised to see her name with a new message.
You’re right you are a dickhead. Give me some time. I’ll get over it. B x.
&&
Harry got the call that he was going to be in Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk while out to lunch. He was back in LA after a vacation to the Caribbean islands and dipping his toe in the water of writing and recording for his first album. He was sitting at his favorite booth in his self-proclaimed ‘best diner in LA’ and was scrolling through his text messages in his phone, his thumb stopping at one particular contact racking his brain on how he’d explain his way out of the last few weeks when a new text from Jeff and a call from an unknown number came through. 
Harry knew it could only mean one thing. He spent weeks perfecting his audition, opting out of taking on an acting coach and deciding to call his grandfather who had served during that time and trying to make of his feelings and thoughts and how a young man who had been tasked to war by duty of his county and how the scenes would potentially play out. It all felt a bit silly at first - the prospect of a post boy band endeavor being acting - maybe even the kiss of death to his career but it was something he couldn’t not try. 
Harry took one sip on his ice cold water, cleared his throat twice and said one more ‘please God’ under his breath before picking up the phone. 
“Hello Harry, this is Christopher Nolan.” 
Harry knew at that moment he got the job. The phone call was a blur, a constant stream of ‘thank you’s’ slipping out of this mouth. He couldn’t believe it. He got the job. He was buzzing with excitement. As he hung up he saw the text from Jeff that came in moments before the phone call. He quickly responded - letting his best friend and now new manager know that he got the part and will see him later. Harry sent a text to his mom next, a simple ‘I got the part Mum xx” it was pretty late back home so he wanted to be able to let her know without having to call and wake her. 
Harry still had his phone in his hands, subconsciously exiting the messages app and back into the contacts. His thumb lingered over the B’s until he found her - Brooklyn. She was the first person that Harry told about the role. He had just come out of a meeting with Jeff where he told him about the opportunity. Harry was nervous, his only acting credit was playing fake sick on an episode of iCarly and before that it was a school play at age 10. Harry left his manager's office and headed straight towards Brookylyn’s apartment. It had been a few days since he last saw her - they got into the rhythm of seeing each other while Harry had downtime from the band obligations. She encouraged him to audition and was the final push for Harry to finally tell Jeff yes. 
If he let himself think about her too much - he wouldn’t be able to keep his emotions together. He didn’t know how he could feel so much for someone who he had only known platonically. One could blame it on his 21 year old male brain who had only had feelings for girls he was romantically involved with but there was something different about Brooklyn. She wasn’t impressed by who he was - he knew it wasn’t a facade from the moment he met her. The way all her friends' faces dropped in awe the second he found her mingling with Xander and hers never budged once. Harry liked that about Brooklyn, it was rare to find someone who didn’t change their mind once they realized who he was. 
Harry was interrupted from his daze by the sounds of plates in front of him. The best part of having a favorite diner is the waitstaff always knowing your go-to order — chicken fingers and onion rings with ice water. Harry pushed his long brown hair out of his face, took a bite of some of the food when the dreary gray clouds that were unusually looming over the city of Los Angeles turned into rain. It had been a few months since he last saw Brooklyn and a few weeks since their last text exchange. Harry needed to bypass the waiting game and let her know. 
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
I just needed to get that out first before I share this news with you. I promise I’ll go back to not speaking to you until you want to but…
I got the role. I’m going to be in Dunkirk. 
Within seconds of his message being sent he had an incoming Facetime call from Brooklyn. 
hiii! she’s finally here. this is a story ive been thinking about and actively writing since 2021!! it means a lot to me and i am so excited to share this first part with you. please let me know what you think 🤍 and i hope you enjoy these characters and this world as much as i do.
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Update 27 Nov 2023
Things are going good. I don't know for how long, but for now they're going good.
And I'm in a really sappy mood, so probably fuck off if you don't want to cringe.
I just want to say thank you. From the deepest depths of my dark unknowable little heart.
And now I have over six hundred followers, a few fics with well over a thousand reacts, one with almost 4.2k, and my most recent has amassed more than 550 in less than two days. And it's really overwhelming honestly. I don't feel like I deserve this. But I write because I enjoy it, and seeing other people enjoy it just makes me so, so happy. And it's also helped me through a lot of shit I've been dealing with lately.
I decided to bite the bullet a couple months ago, toward the end of September, and start posting my writing publicly for the first time in well over a decade. I was incredibly nervous about it. I was and always have been that introvert kid that got talked into coming to the school dance by her extrovert friends and spent the entire time standing awkwardly off to the side hoping no one would notice I was there. Basically I'm horrible at social interaction, and putting myself out there terrifies me. I know I come across pretty open here, but it's the anonymity. It lets me be me without being freaked out about it. Which is really nice in itself.
As a lot of my mutuals know from my ranting and rambling and venting, the past few months have been pretty horrible for me on the whole. I lost my step-mother in early October, who was honestly one of my best friends, which brought me back to when I lost my mom at sixteen and kind of left me in shambles; and then on top that, my marriage nearly ended over the past week, and is still teetering on the brink, though things are improving at the present where that is concerned. Wrap all that in the ribbon of I'm still getting over the flu after three weeks of being sick, and needless to say...it's been rough.
It's been hell, honestly. It's been one thing after another and I've been reeling, hence the sporadic periods of nonstop posting versus radio silence. But things are starting to stabilize now. I can't say that means that my posting schedule will stabilize, but at the very least, things are stabilizing.
And I just want to thank everyone who has been here through all this stupid insanity. Every last one of you that have offered kindness and support and advice and much needed distractions from reality. I've been an absolute fucking mess, and you all have been just so wonderful and understanding and supportive.
I'm not sure I would have made it through this without you all. I've never in my life experienced this level of support and kindness. And I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for all of you.
Thank you guys. So, so much. I really mean it when I say that I love you all.
Because seriously. I love you all ❤️
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outofcontexturi · 1 year
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Thursday 13th October 2022 journal. I lost at fifa and it’s really pissed me off cause it’s testing my belief in myself and it’s like I know I can do it cause I’ve done it many times before so why am i so nervous all of a sudden? and then I lost. But like I know I’m patterned so why am I thinking like this? or feeling like this rather? We have a day off so I’m gonna chill and probably go sauna and then go lamda with the mandem to go over my scenes tbf.
(carried on from the morning after - it’s now Friday 14th September 2022 10:16am)
Yesterday was such a day man. I met Brian Cox. He read me an excerpt of Hamlet. life is a trip man. A whole Logan Roy you know! i can’t believe my life man. It’s actually a movie. It’s a trip man. Even the past couple days have been the best of my life. Tyler’s 28 is by far one of the most memorable days of my life. That one can’t go unforgotten man. I’m really soaking in the great vibes I’m feeling from everyone (my cast specifically) cause I know that this won’t last forever; nothing does. But fucking hell do I love these people. I’m glad I documented that moment. I’m on my way to being a star. It begins tomorrow. Well that’s a lie actually it’s already began. It’s been began already man. I’m here. I am a star. Thank you God! Cause life is good right now. Presently it’s 10:52am and I’m listening to Champagne Problems by Enny. I’m at Travis’ sleeping on a bed he made out of the extra sofa pieces he had. Every piece fit in his room perfectly. It’s mad cause he’s great at putting things together perfectly. I love the guy man. i don’t think I’ll forget him. this past few weeks have been great with the cast. I taught Helena how to gun lean yesterday. I can’t believe that lmaoooo she was dancing with me bro. I have so much love and respect for her. I can’t believe she rates my ting. It’s such a full circle experience to me. Saturday I’m going to pattern. I’m going to pattern these shows. I’m hoping to go the gym today and go to the sauna and then come to LAMDA and do some work there. I swear I just had a moment of realisation that I’ve been subconsciously rushing my days a bit but like it’s okay to take your time. Helena patterned my confidence this rep I can’t lie. I genuinely could cry man. Never gonna forget this woman. She is amazing. This is what adulthood is and I’m not completely mad at it. I’m doing what I want to do. Love life is abit of shambles in a way it’s chaotic as fuck right now with so many people in it but I must remember I love myself more than all of these women that claim they like me or whatever. Whatever the outcome I’m still gonna love me. That’s not stopping bro. Ever. I promised myself that. Jazz also wants to go to a musical theatre show with me!!! Like if you’d told me jazz would want to hang out with me outside of lamda I’d have told you fuck off! but like she said we should actually do it and stop playing cause she kinda sees I’m a musical theatre fan now. It’s really nice that I know these people man. I can’t lie I have a good year man. I’ve learnt so much about myself. This new Lil Baby Funk Flex Freestyle is crazy man. I have to reload it! I’m gonna have a good day today. Amen. I’ll speak to you soon. Love. Sign out time. 11:25am.
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asstrolo · 2 years
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𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙'𝖘 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖔𝖓 𝕹𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗/𝕾𝖈𝖔𝖗𝖕𝖎𝖔 𝖘𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖔𝖓? 𝕻𝖎𝖈𝖐 𝕬 𝕮𝖆𝖗𝖉 ♣️♣️
Finally, Scorpio season is here, bye the worst Libra season i experienced. Anyways hii guys, I've been dying to make another tarot reading and Scorpio season is finally here, thank God, so, please choose the picture you feel more called to, any feedback is good feedback since I'm new at this, so please let me know what you got and if it's accurate to you!
I'd advice you to pick a picture when you're not stressed or distracted, otherwise the reading might not resonate, take your time choosing a pile.
ONE LAST THING: Some of these readings came off a little too strong, as I was making them I felt a lot of heavy emotions, good and not so good. They could bring up "harsh truths" or traumatic past experiences, so please read them with a graint of salt and logical thinking as they are not completely positive. At the end of the day they are just readings to pass the time and not meant to take soo seriously.
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𝕻𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝟏:
For those who chose pile one, I see here something that's primarily focused on a romantic relationship, a past situation you were in where your needs weren't met or you never given in return the love you offered. I am seeing a very specific situation for some weird reason, where, when you tried to confront your partner for their lack of caring, they twisted the words and made you feel like you were the one that was lacking and weren't giving enough in the relationship, a very deceitful, untruthful person that only cared about their own needs and emotions.
This is a very complicated subject, this person (who probably isn't in your life anymore) made you feel worthless or guilty for the problems they had, and it has marked you really, really deep into your subconscious, to the point where you can hear their voice in your head criticizing you even after so long. This can be the past, very recent past too; sadly, you are still selling with the scars of a toxic relationship and a manipulative person, you feel like you are lacking in every single thing you do, and you feel stuck in the same negative mindset, this connection has left you tired mentally, psychologically and physically.
Now, in the present or near future you are being asked to attend to your wounds and take care of yourself in every way possible, dedicate time for yourself more than anybody else, take care of yourself the way you used to take care of that one person. The road to healing is long and it can be really harsh, you are in a very stagnant moment in your life, don't know what to do or where to go. My advice for you for the Scorpio season is trying to take care of yourself and try things that you enjoy or always wanted to do, don't seek refuge in negativity and self-pity, it won't help your mental health. Of you're tired, rest, if you feel like changing something on your life or doing something different, do it. Being newly out of an unhealthy relationship is very confusing and overwhelming as you try to rebuild yourself to the person you used to be before meeting them, go slow with your healing.
You are now free from the shackles of a miserable person who did not make you happy, you deserve the love you dream of, don't let anyone make you feel less than ever again, good times are coming probably at the end of November, you'll feel more positive. You could have Pisces, Cancer and/or Scorpio in your chart, as well as Virgo.
Channeled song:
𝕻𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝟐:
For those who chose pile two i see you've been going through A LOT, these past few weeks specially, the Mercury Rx has left you in shambles, it has completely shift you as a person inside out. I want to start with you before Mercury Rx, maybe you are a person who has a really hard time communicating your needs or your emotions overall, and it's something you always knew needed to be worked on, well i have a feeling you were (or still are) being forced to speak up even when you felt very uncomfortable, since you bottle things up so much, when you finally do speak up it comes out in anger and impatience, so people not only don't listen to you, but tell you to calm down before talking. It has been very difficult, you are changing do much in such a short amount of time and Scorpio season won't be any different, obviously you have a lot of transformations to go through this November.
You lack balance between the head and the heart, you are a very logical and smart person, and you know that! But at the same time, you are too cold and detached, running away when things get hard has always been your coping mechanism, and it's time to let go of old habits. You might have "wronged" someone or left them in the cold, ran away when you got scared of too much emotions and, yes, you feel guilty for doing so, it not fair bit that's just how you are. No more! On Scorpio season try to be more open with your emotions to people you care about, build strong foundations with these same people and look within as to why you are so afraid of vulnerability and telling your feelings, did people never cared for your emotions when you were little? Or your home was so chaotic you felt like you should've been the mature person?
My advice for November is that you try being more vulnerable and don't feel ashamed of your emotions, work on how you love, aaannnddd if there was someone (probably romantic, damn) you left or ran from because of your fear of opening up; you don't have to spill your guts with them, but this person probably really cares for you and they will understand why you left, they probably are like you too, but a little bit more open, apologize or start a fresh page. Lastly, be more present, you're too in your head, you're being asked to get out of your head, you're too anxious about things that don't matter, focus on growing as a person and not in your past mistakes. What's past is past. You could have Aquarius, Sagittarius, Libra and/or Gemini in your chart, BIG mutable energy.
Channeled song:
𝕻𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝟑:
For those who chose pile three the main theme here is you and your social circle, specifically your female friends? This energy feel very crowded, i have the feeling you are a person that helps around the community a lot, or are the first ones people go to when in need of help or solving a problem, you are the mom friend, the helpful friend, everybody asks you for advice, you are the mature friend. However, your friends are taking you for granted, could it be? You are the union and glue to the friend group, yet nobody asks you how you are or what you've been up to, it's always a conversation about them.
I'm seeing, and I'm sorry for this, negative energy from some of your friends, they might be jealous of you and your potential that, when you try to tell them something about yourself or your projects they ignore it or dismiss it, put you down and make you feel like they are not as important or as well planned as you thought, you are a very giving person, this is the problem, you are giving too much to people that give nothing in return; this could refer to a romantic relationship but I'm sensing more a friends or family like situation.
For this Scorpio season you should prioritize, who? You! Yes, you need to be more selfish, a lot of close people to you are, sadly, envious of you. Try to focus on giving yourself what you give to your family or your friends when they need help, you are a very selfless person and you like helping, but helping a friends shouldn't cost your energy or your time, if you want time for yourself, then this season is perfect to start to trying new things, buy new clothes, get a massage, everything you'd like to do, you don't need to run when someone needs your help, you're nobody's mom and you deserve time alone.
Also, you are a very ambitious person and you are planning things for the future and investing on it too, I'd advice you to tell fewer people what you're planning to do, maybe just one person lol. My advice for November is detach from old energies and connections that drain you, spend more time by yourself and doing you, right now things are a little bit suffocating (hello, it's that relative/friend that won't leave you aloneee) and you need an escape from it, if you want to travel, do it, it's gonna be good for your mental health.
Be more courageous and bold when trying things out, people always tone you down because they want you at their level. Do whatever you want, you don't owe anyone an explanation, try to be alone in your own company more. You could have Leo, Sagittarius and/or Aries in your chart.
Channeled song:
𝕻𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝟒:
For those who chose pile four, the main theme here is a situation, a past energy is still lurking in your mind or in your surroundings. There was a person here (could be more than one, but I believe it's just one) who you trusted wholeheartedly, you put a lot of your faith and trust in them and they gave you in return lies, they are very deceitful people. This person took something away from you from behind, while you were idolizing them in front of everybody else, and when you saw really the kind of person they were, you felt stupid, like you should've known better, you are still overthinking this situation and hurting your own feelings.
You are a smart person, normally you don't let just anyone see the most vulnerable parts of yourself, you let this person in and they betrayed your trust. And now they are talking shit behind your back, telling how easy it was to fool you and you just feel undefeated, the truth is; yes, this person played you but when you met them it was a very low moment in your life and you were looking for someone to confide in, this person showered you with compliments when you two first met, and they were there in a very dark phase in your life, you weren't happy and you were having a lot of issues, one of them including low self-esteem, they took advantage of that when you let your guard down. It is not your fault that you were trying to find a friend in a viper.
Now, in the present (or very recently) you're trying to distract yourself with things that give instant gratification, buying things, eating, using series or movies or books to distract yourself from thinking of it, don't get me wrong, if you want to rest and find pleasure in little things to make yourself feel better that's okay, but you're only doing that, you are not being productive, I see someone who spends the day and night watching tv and nothing else. It's time to move, to go out of your house and also move forward, this is a very stagnant energy, literally you are not moving your body enough and you spend way too much time in your house or your room, go out with friends! But most importantly, start working, planning, find something that occupies your mind in a productive way, you are a very ambitious person, VERY.
You know that sitting all day is not gonna help you achieve all the things you want to achieve and it makes you anxious, but at the same time you aren't doing anything to change this. What is a job or project you've been wanting you do for s long time? Something that is gonna give you money? Do that. Don't hesitate anymore. The Scorpio season is the perfect time to start these projects, whatever is that you want to do to get recognition or money. In the past things weren't very fair, not with you, but you can't pity yourself forever, it's time to get up, whatever that person did to you, don't worry, they will get back what they gave to you.
My advice for November is that you take more risk career wise, you like having money and having commodities so it's time to invest your time in making money and advancing in terms of career or study, be careful of not falling back into your old ways, indulging in laziness or self-sabotage, you can be very successful if you aim to achieving your goals. You could have Taurus, Capricorn in your chart, BIG cardinal energy.
Channeled song:
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Happy Scorpio season!!
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spectaclespencer · 3 years
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P.H. // Part 3; Need To Know
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
A/N; Chapter 3!! Yay! I will not lie I got kind of lazy and burnt out when I finally got to the smut scene, and for that I am sorry. I’ll make it up to you guys with a future chapter.
Summary; Reader can’t get her mind off of Spencer, which causes distractions at work. Until one day when he catches on.
Category; Smut (Minors DNI!!!)
Content Warnings; Swearing, Kissing, Mentions of masturbation, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Oral (Male receiving), Drinking, Mentions of being shot, Kinda Sub!Spencer, Virgin!Spencer (but not by the end of it)
Word Count; 7.2k
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‘Wanna know what it's like (like)
Baby, show me what it's like (like)
I don't really got no type (type)
I just wanna fuck all night’
Spencer Reid. The object of my attraction, the man I fell harder for with every stolen glance I could manage to throw his way. I was obsessed, and that infatuation only grew stronger every day that I saw him at work.
When we went out to bars after cases we ended up in an inevitable game of Never Have I Ever like a bunch of high school kids. With Emily and Derek in the group it almost always turned sexual. It started with innocent things such as; Never have I ever kicked down a door -- to which Derek drinks. There were some targeted jabs, I got Spencer a few times when I brought up an activity I was certain he had done -- just to keep him involved.
However he never drank past that. He never took a sip when Emily made a sexual innuendo, or when she brought up one night stands, number of partners, most bizarre location to engage in intercourse. Nothing of the sort got him to break. I figured he was a private guy, never one to boast about his sexual experiences.
It was frustrating, to say the least. It got to the point where I couldn’t think about anyone but him. I couldn’t engage in any sexual activity without my mind shifting to him, the way he might slip his fingers in and out of me, or how skilled he was with his mouth instead of the person I dragged home. No other person could even begin to compare to the remedy I concocted in my mind. I didn’t have any information to base my fantasies on, either.
I had it bad. So bad, that at one point I spilled hot coffee all over myself in the breakroom over the littlest interaction.
Spencer came in just after me, mumbling a small hello before reaching to grab a mug for himself. In the process of doing so his shirt rode up, exposing a small expanse of his lower stomach that had me sputtering as I clumsily missed my cup and instead poured the coffee all over the counter. It ran down and soaked through my pants; yet it wasn’t nearly as hot as the way I felt on the inside.
I couldn’t help but wonder the noises he’d make if I were to suck dark purple marks across that plain of skin...or if anyone ever had before.
The small burn was a fine price to pay for my inappropriate thoughts.
Him being the sweet guy that he is, offered to help me clean up. This proposal ended up with him taking paper towels and patting down my thighs -- not realizing just how suggestive the action looked to me.
“Sorry,” He whispered, looking up at my face from his position below me. He was kneeling on one knee, with a hand planted firmly on the outside of my thigh. His voice was soft yet raspy, and oh how I let my mind wander.
“Not your fault,” I said quickly, and borderline ran out the door before he could protest or add anything on.
I headed straight to the bathroom to wash my face, try and stop the effect he had on me from becoming too physical.
If I got that worked up over a small piece of skin showing, nothing could have prepared me for the first night we shared a hotel room.
I was in shambles all night, ever since the moment Hotch handed me a room card and explained we needed to double up.
Emily usually roomed with JJ, Hotch and Rossi got their own, and Derek refuses to bunk with Spencer -- if he could avoid it. Much to my luck, this time he did because Garcia was needed for this case, meaning she and Derek would be sharing.
Leaving me with Spencer.
I stood there helpless, eyes burning a hole into the place that Hotch was previously standing. I was panicking on the inside, my body going into fight or flight mode as I went through scenarios in my head.
I was 99% sure I would be embarrassing myself tonight.
“Hey,” Spencer said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
I jumped and shrieked a little bit, and slapped a hand over my heart. “Oh my god, Reid. You scared me.”
“Sorry,” he laughed. “Sorry I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay.”
He nodded, eventually realizing that he was still indeed touching my shoulder. He dropped his arm, only to bring his hand back up to rub over his chin.
My eyes darted down to it, watching at the way his veins stood out. It wasn’t the first time I admired them, there were moments when he was going over maps with two fingers where I wondered what they would feel like on my-
“____?”
“What?” I asked, a little too loud for the setting.
“Did you hear me?”
“No, sorry.”
“I said we should go inside,” he laughed softly, trying to sooth the tension.
I agreed, stepping past him to start walking to our room. I opened the door with trembling hands, wondering just how hard the following nights at the hotel would be.
“I’m gonna go see Emily and JJ. Ask if they wanna go to the bar,” I said quickly, throwing my bag down just inside the door.
“Oh. Okay. Have fun! Don’t stay out too late. You should get a full night’s sleep.”
“I won’t be long. Don’t wait up!” I called, not looking back to see him before half jogging out of the room.
-----
“I cannot go back in there.”
“Oh, because of your little crush,” Emily laughed, much too loud for the early hours of the morning.
Clearly Spencer’s advice about coming back early didn’t plant itself in my head.
“Yes, because of that,” I confirmed. I was staring down at my drink, wallowing in self pity. It was too awkward to even step foot in there, I’m sure just by the sight of him I’d explode.
“What is it about him that gets you hot and heavy?” JJ teased. “No shame, just curious.”
I fake laughed, ignoring her question.
Everything he did was so intoxicating. Even the most mundane things got my blood pumping hard. Each time he let a small gasp through his lips or when he would whisper to himself, a shockwave went through me, igniting a fire deep inside that was near impossible to put out.
But he was so oblivious. He hadn’t a single idea of the effect he had on me. And that was the most frustrating part.
The first time I noticed my extreme attraction to him was shortly after I joined the team, it was only the third or fourth case I’d had with them. Spencer and I walked to a coffee shop to grab some for everyone, and on the way back he was infodumping.
About what, I can’t remember, for I was too fixated on the way his hands wrapped around his cup as he talked. He’d wave it around, and in doing so his fingers would trace little patterns onto the outside of it. I didn't mean to stare, I just got distracted.
I started noticing more little things after that.
Like the way he licked his lips while deep in thought, his mind consuming him to the point where he looked so concentrated and determined. It was hot, to put it simply. I wanted nothing more for him to be licking my lips, to feel him take such care with my body.
He had always been attractive in my eyes, the young boy was nothing but pretty. Even when his hair was shorter and he gelled it back, pairing the look with his glasses -- that he unfortunately wore less often nowadays.
It was nearly painful to be around him all day every day. My head would constantly be spinning with anxiety, only causing more and more headaches to present themselves. It was like a punishment, one I certainly deserved for the tasteful thoughts I had during work hours.
My crush went from an innocent little thing, to full fledged fascination.
‘I just been fantasizin' (size)
And we got a lotta time (time)
Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)’
Avoiding him as much as I could seemed like a decent plan at the time. If I kept my interactions low, I could distract myself with other things, and not focus on the way his lips pursed as I conversed with him. I raced up more time staring at his mouth rather than completing actual work by my six month stay at the BAU.
“I’m so fucked,” I nodded, coming to a bit of peace with my downfall.
“Well, you could be. If you told him how you feel,” JJ encouraged.
“No way in hell,” I protested, shooting my head up to make eye contact with her.
“____, there is a very, very high chance he feels the same. And if he doesn’t -- which he does -- he’s too sweet to let that impact your friendship.”
“We hardly even have a friendship. Whenever he tries to talk to me I end up running away. He probably thinks I hate him or something. He probably wants nothing to do with me.”
No objection from Emily or JJ there.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” Emily asked, changing the pace of the conversation.
“He never speaks to me again. I die of embarrassment.”
“You’re both adults, ____.”
“We are 27!” I shook my head, exasperated. “I hardly even feel like one sometimes.”
“27, exactly. I’m sure by now Reid has gained some experience with talking to women. You’ll be fine.”
“I have absolutely no way of knowing how things will go.”
“Just give him little tests,” JJ suggested. “Like touch him. On the shoulders, compliment him more, really go up to him and make a move. That way if he doesn’t feel the same you can play it off as being platonic.”
I groaned and rested my head on the table dramatically. “You both kinda suck at advice. What am I supposed to do? Waltz into our shared room and confess my love for him? Ask him desperately to dick me down?”
Even though I definitely wanted to.
They laughed at that, saying they were going to bed and wished me luck. Emily advised I should try and ‘get some’ from somebody else, and maybe that would take my mind off of things.
After stalling some more I eventually made my way back to the hotel room, hoping that Spencer was already asleep so I wouldn’t have to face him. But once again, luck wasn’t in my favour.
“Hi,” he spoke softly from his bed.
“Why are you still awake?” I asked, trying my best to stifle a yawn. I threw my sweater down on my bed, before grabbing my go-bag and retrieving my pyjamas from it. “It’s almost one in the morning.”
“I wanted to make sure you got back okay.”
“I told you not to wait up. Naughty boy,” I joked, finally turning my attention fully over to him.
Which could've been a mistake, based on the way you saw it.
He was dressed in flannel pants and a black t-shirt, along with his hair tied up that I’d failed to notice earlier. I froze at the sight, seeing the way his cheeks were dusted a slight red, and lips pink as ever.
His hair was tied up, and I almost dropped dead at the sight. I’d never seen it before. Sure, he sometimes wore an elastic band on his wrist during the work days but never have I seen him actually use one.
“I’m gonna shower and then head to bed,” I said in an effort to keep my voice steady.
He didn’t respond, only turning his head back to the book that was in his hand.
Thankfully when I returned he was asleep, meaning I didn’t have to see him before bed.
The next day was torturous. I couldn’t get the image of him out of my head. The view of him so relaxed on his bed was ethereal, the soft glow of the lamp hand illuminated his skin in all the right places. Did he pull his hair back often? Did he casually sit at home with it up? How did he look in different angles or positions? Are there other things he wears or does that I haven’t seen?
The image was just so domestic that I couldn't stop thinking about it even if I wanted to.
I was afraid to fall asleep, in fear that my dream may turn adventurous. Quitting my job and moving to a new city seems more preferable than having a sex dream about your coworker while they were in the room.
I was hyper aware of every move he made, always keeping tabs on him in the back of my mind so we wouldn’t accidentally run into each other.
Apparently when I was paying attention on how not to see him, I failed to notice how he had filled out recently. He wore looser pants in the past, ones that didn’t allow much shape to show through.
The next day at the precinct I was in for a surprise though, one that was sure to make me fall to my knees.
And I would have, if it wasn’t for the fact I was already seated in a chair.
Spencer walked in clad in pants that were far too tight to be appropriate for work. Or maybe I was overreacting.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered under my breath, soaking in his appearance of the day.
It was hot outside, so he decided not to wear his usual vest and tie combo, choosing instead just a white pattern button up and grey tie.
I heard Emily snicker beside me, which earned her a light kick in the calf to shut her up. She got up then, winking at me dramatically before leaving the room to presumably go check in with Derek.
“Hey ____, can you come here for a sec?”
I got up without a word, and walked over to the other side of the room where he was standing at the map hung up.
He went off about the unsub’s possible comfort zone -- things that I’d need him to repeat later because I wasn’t fully listening,
I stayed leaning against the table, just two feet behind him which gave me a perfect view of just how tight those pants really were. They hugged his hips deliciously, I wanted nothing more than to rip them off in that moment. I nodded along dumbly, changing my sight from his ass to his back, to his toned arms that were shown off from him rolling up his sleeves.
It was a fair sight, I don’t really think I could be blamed for staring.
A few weeks after that he got a haircut. His longer curls were gone -- yet not forgotten -- and were replaced with a mop of messy waves that framed his face perfectly.
It was like a new blow to my stomach every time I got used to the change.
“New haircut?” I asked the obvious on the first day back from a long weekend.
“Yeah...thought I should change it up,” Spencer replied, picking up his coffee mug to make himself a cup.
I nodded, the room settling in a short silence.
“Do you not like it?”
“No!” I exclaimed, Spencer furrowing his brows in response. “I mean, yes. I do like it. Sorry.”
“Oh, okay,” he laughed. “Thank you.”
“You could pull off any hairstyle, trust me,” I said, before walking back to my desk.
People that we met seemed to feel the same, because he got stopped more often at bars and at shops that were needed to visit. People would give him their numbers, leaving him a blushing mess. It got obnoxious, to the point where I was at my breaking point. My shoulders were always slumped, and my forehead creased with jealousy.
I stayed closer to him when the team went out, in an effort to get other girls to stop making moves on him.
They hadn’t noticed his beauty before, why should they get the privilege to advance on him now?
It was selfish, really. It may have been good for his self-confidence, but not so good for my own feelings.
I made sure to compliment him more often, telling him I liked his sweater vests, and ‘oh my Doctor Reid, is that a new tie?’ It was a win-win really, for both of us. I was building up my comfort level with him, and he knew that I did not, in fact, despise him.
When Spencer got shot on a case a few weeks later, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to show him that I care about him.
It was an easy job, since the bullet only semi-grazed his shoulder blade. Only needed deep cleaning once a night, for a few weeks so it wouldn’t get infected.
“Fuck,” he breathed with a groan, one that sent shivers throughout my veins.
“Sorry,” I answered quickly, keeping my gaze on the task at hand and not on his face that was just so close to mine.
Here I was in Spencer’s apartment, in his bathroom, helping him clean off his wound.
“I’m sorry but you need to stop moving, it’s just making things worse,” I explained.
“It hurts!”
“I’m sure it does! But I can’t do an effective job in cleaning it if you keep thrashing around like that.”
I saw him pout, and lower his head. The gears in his brain were turning, trying to come up with a possible solution.
“You’re going to need to hold me down.”
“What?!”
“I’m not gonna be able to stop moving,” he said, looking over his shoulder to where I was sitting behind him on the floor. “Come on.”
He stood up and left the room, gesturing for me to follow. And I did, collecting the supplies I’d need as he led me over to his living room.
Before I could protest he removed his shirt fully -- not like how it was bunched up by his neck previously.
I stopped in my tracks, eyes taking in every inch of skin that he freed. He was lean, as I predicted, but still toned in areas.
Spencer laid on his stomach down on the couch, motioning for me to come beside him.
“Get on my back.”
“Are you insane?”
“____,” he pleaded, looking up at me. His arms were crossed by his head, he was using them as a makeshift pillow. “I just want this to be over as fast as it can be.”
Right.
“Okay,” I agreed, and began to place my materials down on the coffee table to my right. I then swung a leg over his lower back, straddling him just how I’d imagine doing so before -- only the other way around. “Is this okay?”
He hummed, digging his face as far into the fabric of the couch as he could.
‘I got a lotta new tricks for you, baby
Just sayin' I'm flexible (I will)’
I took that as a yes, and poured some of the disinfectant onto a swab. Bracing myself with a hand on his other shoulder to pin him down firmly he shivered, breath shaking ever so slightly. I tried to catch him off guard with the swab, choosing a random time to press it into his wound.
He was definitely surprised, because he whined loudly into his hands and clenched all of the muscles in his back.
I couldn’t help but wonder if he made similar noises during other activities…
“Just a minute more,” I soothed him, running my free hand over the smooth skin of his back, doing my best to calm him down.
His breathing only became heavier, and was nearly shaking from the burn. I felt bad, having to see him go through this but I’d be lying if it wasn’t doing things to me. I couldn’t help but get a little bit excited when I got the chance to be near him, to be closer than we had ever been before.
It was intense, I was almost sure he could feel my arousal through the fabric of my pants and underwear.
I was an awful person.
Going home that night to sleep was a struggle. I felt guilty, for using his pain for my perverse temptations. Yet as soon as my fingers were buried inside myself I couldn’t stop myself from imagining him above me. The way he might sound, spewing out similar noises that I’d experienced earlier that were still fresh in my brain.
I wasn’t proud of it, and I thought every one of our interactions after that would be even harder.
Going back to work seemed fully impossible, I didn’t have any hope in myself to stay useful while he was parading around, completely oblivious to the effect he had on me. I became more sexually frustrated every day. It was nearly infuriating to see a look of innocence plastered on his face, meanwhile he would do things that made me go crazy.
‘Wanna know what it's like (like)
Baby, show me what it's like (like)
I don't really got no type (type)
I just wanna fuck all night’
“Penelope, I think I might die soon if I don’t get laid,” I said, rapidly opening the door to her cave.
“____-”
“No, I’m serious. I can’t get my mind off of-”
I stopped in my tracks, finally noticing the presence I hadn’t already accounted for.
Spencer sat in a chair to my left, just out of view that you couldn’t see him if you didn’t turn your head. He was in the middle of bringing a chip up to his mouth, but was stopped mid-air with his mouth hanging open.
“Sorry,” he said, scrambling up fast, bumping into things as he collected his satchel with shaky hands. “Sorry I’ll go.”
The door shut with a slam, and left Penelope and I in silence.
“Well, fuck,” I whispered, earning a booming laugh from her. “It’s not funny.”
“It is funny. It’s hilarious,” she giggled, doing a little spin on her chair.
I groaned, and sat down beside her on the edge of her desk.
“Maybe now he’ll make a move on you.”
“Oh shut up,” I slapped her arm, beginning to laugh along with her. “If he was avoiding me before, I’m sure he’ll never speak to me again.”
Ever since I helped Spencer with his injury the first time he’d been semi ignoring me, not trying to actively partake in conversation. We only talked when necessary, but didn’t exchange any extra words when I came over for an hour to help him with his wound.
I was almost happy about that, it meant I didn’t have to embarrassingly throw myself at him all day long.
I was perfectly fine admiring him from a distance, just how I’d done so for years.
However, there was a part of me that was rightfully sad. Did I cross a line, or make him feel uncomfortable? Maybe from spending so much time together recently he gathered I really wasn’t that interesting.
“Don’t say that,” Penelope frowned.
“Why not? It’s the truth,” I shrugged.
“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?”
“How I feel?”
“Don’t even try and wedge your way out of it. Emily told me, don’t be mad,” she said, with the sweetest look on her face that I couldn’t be upset.
“Bitch,” I playfully mumbled.
“Besides you literally were about to say that you can’t get your mind off of him.”
“Uh, no, I was not. I was going to say someone. A general someone. Not Reid.”
She hummed, turning back to her screen to finish up some work Hotch had sent her to do.
“Okay fine. Pen, I’m gonna die. It’s insufferable. I can’t handle it anymore.”
“That’s exactly why you should tell him!” She encouraged excitedly, always a swooner for young love.
“I would scare him. He’s probably scared of me, actually.”
“Oh come on, I’m sure his little virgin heart can take it.”
“What?” I asked, suddenly giving her all my attention. “Virgin? Is he seriously a virgin?”
“I don’t know, truly. I just kinda figured. He doesn’t talk about anyone or anything to do with sex.”
I nodded. That makes sense. With him radiating pure sex appeal in my eyes, the thought never even crossed my mind that he might be a virgin.
But that just made it all the more exciting.
“But hey, if he’s really a 27 year old virgin I’m sure he’s extremely horny,” she laughed.
“We are at work. Let’s calm it down before I actually combust,” I shook my head.
My palms were sweating at the very thought of him doing anything remotely sexual -- which I thought about a lot. Surely he’s had to at least...taken care of himself. I’m sure it was a gorgeous sight, his hand wrapped firmly around his dick and face contorted in nothing but pleasure.
My thoughts were interrupted by none other than the man himself, who barged into the room to say we were taking off for a case in 30.
The flight there was quiet and boring, we left at night so there wasn’t so much we could do when we got there besides head up to our hotel.
“We’re sharing a room,” Spencer said, walking over to me from where he was previously with Derek.
I was standing in front of the vending machine, doing my very best to not eavesdrop on the mens’ conversation, which was only taking place about 20 feet away. Spencer was speaking in a hushed yet agitated tone, and Derek was matching his energy. It seemed they were bickering, but about what I didn’t know.
“Says who?” I panicked.
“Uhh...Hotch did.”
Great.
“Oh. Alright,” I followed him down the hallway, our room was the last one at the end.
I waited for him to open the door, and when he stepped out of the way to let me inside I brushed past him.
When I turned around Spencer was standing there blocking my path, causing me to bump into his chest.
“Hello...” I said confused, taking a step back.
“I…”
“What?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. “Spencer what are you doing?”
He didn’t answer with words, instead reaching up to push a piece of hair out of my face. My breath hitched at the contact, sending me into a short frenzy on the inside. He was inching closer, now his body was getting just close enough so that I could feel the heat radiating off of him. He was glancing back and forth between my eyes, searching my face for an expression of discomfort.
He didn’t find any.
“I was talking with Derek. About you,” he whispered. “He said you’ve been coming on to me.”
My heart nearly missed a beat at his words.
“I've noticed your odd behaviour, you don’t act the way you do with anyone else on the team. You run away from me, and at first I thought you just didn’t like me, but now...I think it’s the opposite. I see the way you look at me, you know.”
“And how do I look at you?” I questioned nervously.
“Like you want me. Tell me. Who were you talking about earlier today? Who exactly can’t get your mind off of?”
I paused, eyes almost bulging out of my head at the implication.
“If I'm reading this wrong, let me know. We can pretend this never happened.”
“Get on the bed and take your clothes off.”
He did just that, moving beside me to shove his pants down his legs, followed by ripping off his shirt, as I did the same. We couldn’t take our eyes off of each other, too busy drinking in our appearances to think straight. He sat down on the edge of the bed in just his underwear, and spread his legs just wide enough to give me space to stand between them.
“Tell me what you want.” he breathed, watching me as I walked towards him.
“You,” I answered simply, climbing into his lap and connecting my mouth was his. “All of you.”
He didn’t protest, only doing quite the opposite. He moaned greedily into my mouth, sucking every last bit of life out of me. He was hungry in his movements, not allowing for a single beat of fresh air for either of us. I was more than happy to return the energy, for I’ve dreamt for too long about what he might taste like. And it wasn’t disappointing, the sensation was far better than I could have ever cooked up in my head.
After a minute he became impatient, and started bucking his hips up to meet mine. I did the same, grinding down on his hardening dick that felt...impressive to say the least.
“I’ve thought about you for so long,” I spoke against his lips, taking a break between kisses.
He groaned back at me, moving his hands from my cheeks down to my hips to hold me flush against himself. He whimpered when I was fully against him, he had to break away to keep his breathing somewhat managed.
“Please, I need you so bad. I’ve thought about you too.”
“What exactly did you think about?” I asked quietly, trailing kisses all across his face, and then started heading down his jaw and neck.
“L-lots of stuff.”
“Tell me,” I demanded, looking up at him from my new position kneeling on the floor. “Please, tell me.”
I brought a hand up to his boxers, ghosting just over his bulge while remaining eye contact.
“Everything. All of you. ____, Please.”
‘You're exciting, boy, come find me
Your eyes told me, "Girl, come ride me"’
“Let me do something first,” I said, pushing against his stomach to encourage him to lie back on the bed. He did so, propping himself up on his forearms to look down at me.
He watched my every move, not a second was missed by his eyes that stayed locked onto my form. I dropped my head down to kiss across his left thigh, and toyed with the waistband of his underwear with my right hand.
He was so vocal, and I hadn’t even done anything yet. I knew we had all night, but I’d waited too long for this to take my time.
‘And we got a lotta time (time)
Baby, come throw the pipe (pipe)’
I pulled his underwear down just enough to reveal his dick hard and red as it stood up against his stomach.
“You don’t...have to,” Spencer stopped me before I could carry on.
“Do you not want me to?”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s just…” He stopped, and bit his lip while staring off to one of the walls.
“Has anyone ever done this with you before?” I asked, almost unsure of whether or not I wanted the answer.
“Done what...exactly?” he asked, refusing to look back at me. His cheeks were red in embarrassment, and he was too focused on the distance to see the wave of excitement that flashed over my face.
“Spencer,” I said sharply, prompting him to turn his attention back to me. “Are you a virgin?”
His lack of answer told me enough. He blushed impossibly deeper, and started squirming in place. Just as he was about to speak up for himself I stopped him with, “That’s so fucking hot.”
“What?”
I climbed back up his body, just far enough so that I could grab his jaw in my hand and pull him down to meet my lips. It was even more hungry and passionate than the previous ones we shared, full of such fire I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to kiss anyone else ever again.
“You’re so sexy,” I moaned, hot and needy into his mouth.
He was good, which wasn’t unexpected from my end. His lips were always so plump and pink, they just had to be semi skilled.
“Thank you,” he replied, in a typical Spencer Reid fashion.
“Do you want to stop? Or keep going? Take a minute and think about it. I don’t want to pressure you,” I reassured him, but on the inside I was begging for him to want to continue.
He pulled back for a second, running a hand over the back of my head to keep me from going too far. His eyes were closed, focusing only on his breathing as he thought about his answer.
“I want to keep going. Please,” he decided on, nodding his head. “I just, I dunno, didn’t expect to get this far tonight.”
“Believe me, neither did I,” I smirked, smashing my lips back against his and returning to my spot kneeling between his legs. I pushed him back harder than before, sending a small oof sound from his chest as his back hit the mattress.
“Has anyone ever touched you here?” I asked, finally wrapping my hand around his dick,
It only made sense that a pretty boy like him would have a pretty cock, too.
“O-only once,” he breathed, with his head thrown back. He was staring at the ceiling, staring at the dots to distract himself from the feeling and to not come too soon. “Long time ago.”
“If you need me to stop, tell me,” I said, before licking a broad strip up the underside of his dick.
I paused at the head, swirling my tongue around before continuing my mission back down around the other side. I kissed his base, leaving more near his hips. He whined positively -- probably feeling a little ticklish -- and I took that as a good sign to suck a deep purple mark there.
Just like I’d thought about doing months ago.
I left a few more just up to his belly button, marking him up with the intent to claim him as my own. He’d see those marks for the next few days, and every time he would think of me on my knees for him. I kept pumping him in my hand as I did so, and every time I groaned into his skin his dick twitched with appreciation.
“Oh god,” Spencer moaned as I took him into my mouth unexpectedly, bunching up the sheets in his hands beside his hips.
I looked up to see him now staring down at me, jaw slacked and panting heavily. The sight was enough to elicit a moan from my own mouth, which led to him fluttering his eyes shut at the vibrations that shot through his body.
“Stop, stop!”
“What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly, immediately pulling up.
“Nothing, I just really want to feel you and I don’t think I can last much longer.”
Understandable.
I wasn’t expecting him to last long anyways, I just simply wanted him inside me.
“Do you happen to have a condom?” He shook his head. “I’m clean and on the pill. We should be fine. Is that okay?”
He mumbled an ‘uh huh’ as he watched me stand up, as I pushed my underwear down my legs. He immediately reached out to me, bringing me back in and starting placing kisses across my stomach and hips, mirroring what I was doing to him earlier.
“Good, because if you don’t fuck me right now I think I might die.”
‘Yeah-yeah, oh-whoa-whoa (oh, ooh, mmm)
Baby, I need to know, mmm (yeah, need to know)’
He laughed lightheartedly, fixing himself to be sitting up near the headboard. In the process he kicked off his boxers fully, along with his socks.
I followed after him, not letting him stray too far from my reach.
“I heard that women take longer to, erm, get ready,” he muttered into my skin, hiding his face in my neck. “Let me help you?”
“Please,” I whimpered, though I knew I was far from unprepared. I reached behind myself to unclasp my bra, and as soon as it fell down my shoulders Spencer attached his mouth to my left nipple. “Please touch me.”
He moaned into me, bringing his hand down to my core to run his fingers through my folds. He let his middle breach me, moving so agonizingly slow before curling his finger up. I moaned loudly, letting my eyes shut and body fall slack against him. His free arm wrapped around my waist, giving me the support I needed to stay upright.
“So that’s your g-spot?” He grinned against my skin, and I’d be damned to admit it affected me way more than it should have. He sounded so innocent, so eager to learn.
“Uh-huh.”
He explored my skin greedily, brushing over every inch of my chest he could reach. His thrusts became faster every time he re-entered me, encouraged by the grunt that fell from my lips with each one.
“Have you ever done this with a girl before?”
“No,” he replied, moving from my breasts to my collarbone, leaving a dark purple mark in his path.
“Could've fooled me,” I felt him smile against my neck at the praise -- duly noted.
He flipped us over swiftly -- much to my surprise -- and continued with his actions on both my clit and entrance. I did my best to stay quiet, biting down on his shoulder to prevent any noises from leaking out to stop him from getting too cocky.
“Spencer,” I moaned, raking my fingernails up and down his back. “Stop. Please fuck me now, I’m ready.”
“Are you sure you want to? We can stop,” he reassured me in a voice that seemed far too innocent for the activities taking place.
“Spencer, I’m sure. I’m so fucking sure you have no idea.”
I was so turned on I could cry, the pure want running through my veins was starting to send panic signals throughout my whole body. Before I could beg him any further he replaced his fingers with his dick, catching me off guard. He ran the tip over me for a few seconds before gliding in easily, with little to no restriction at all.
“Ah!” I called, gripping onto his shoulder for dear life.
“I’m so sorry, oh my god did I hurt you?” Spencer asked frantically, removing his weight from me and tried sitting up.
“No. God please move, I need you so bad,” I pleaded, pulling him back down before he could get too far away.
He nodded. He started slow. So slowly that I wanted to scream and beg at the top of my lungs for more. However I was above giving him the satisfaction of that -- at least for now.
“You feel so good,” Spencer panted, hips shaking as he slid in and out at a torturous pace.
I pulled his lips back to mine for another kiss, drinking in everything he was willing to offer. I whined every time his body rubbed against my clit in a way that had my toes curling and eyes rolling back.
“This is so much better than I’ve imagined,” I moaned, breaking free from his mouth to lay back against the pillows. I wrapped my legs around his waist, aiding him with the speed of his thrusts. “Please, Spence, oh my god go harder.”
He moaned loudly, and lowered his head to my collarbone in an effort to muffle some of the noises he was letting out.
He followed my directions well -- and I took notes for the future.
The sounds of him bouncing off the walls was amplifying my pleasure to a new degree, it was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. His hips snapped forward impossibly faster, leaving him a whimpering mess above me. Our chests were pressed together, the sound of skin slapping and gliding over each other filled the dimly lit room.
“You’re doing so good for me,” I whispered into his neck, leaving open mouthed kisses here and there.
He moaned freely at all of the praise, and every time I urged him on he’d pick up his speed a little bit. He was now moving faster than I thought I could handle, slamming into me at the perfect angle.
I felt him everywhere. In my stomach, insides of my thighs, chest -- where he was now palming at one of my breasts -- and the crook of my neck. I hugged my arms around his middle to keep him locked against me, preventing his hips from heavily backing out.
“I’m really close,” He groaned, lifting his head to meet my eyes. “S-should I pull out now?”
“No,” I demanded, tightening my legs to keep him trapped. “Come inside me.”
He nodded with a particularly loud moan, and snaked one hand down my body to meet my clit. When I gave a sound of approval he quickened his wrist, rubbing me with just the right amount of pressure to send me closer to the edge.
He came with a final shout in my name, resting his full body weight against me as I rocked my him against him to help him through it. I finished soon after, at the feeling of him releasing himself in me. It was so warm, like a comforting blanket that overtook all of my senses.
It was possibly the best orgasm I’d ever had, it was so profound that I couldn’t see, or focus on anything else.
We laid there for a few minutes, my hand running through his hair and his ghosting up the side of my hip. It took a while for us both to catch our breaths, we were too immersed in the moment to break apart from one another.
“That was literally the best sex I’ve had in my life,” I breathed, staring up at the ceiling.
“Same, but I don’t have anything to compare it to,” Spencer replied, and we both laughed weakly.
“That was okay for you? Your first time? Not really the traditional approach.”
“It was perfect. I wouldn’t have asked for anything different,” he pulled himself up with a smile, before pulling out and flopping down beside me.
“But seriously,” I sat up, resting my head on my palm to get a better view of him. “I’ve never been so attracted to someone as I am with you.”
“____,” he blushed. “I-”
“No! No, let me finish. Please.”
He nodded for me to go ahead.
“Not only are you just insanely sweet and so charming, you’re so handsome. Like I can hardly even look at you half the time. You drive me insane, Spencer you have no idea. Holy fuck I’ve never wanted someone so bad before I met you. You’re intoxicating. I can’t get enough. I’ll cringe about this later but I just need you to know.”
“This may not be the most common way...but do you want to go out with me? L-like on a date?” Spencer asked. He was blushing so heavily, his chest was painted pink and ears were turned red.
“You just came inside of me and you’re nervous about asking me on a date.”
“____!” Spencer exclaimed, facepalming himself.
“Yes,” I grinned. “I’d love to go out with you.”
-----
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(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Tuesday
Monday     Wednesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday
Spotify Playlist (collaborative)
Warnings: anxiety, doctor’s offices, taking pain pills (not sure if I need to tag that, but just in case), stalkers, blackmail, swearing, non-consensual taking pics of nudes, slight body dysmorphia, self-loathing, toxic friends
Word count: 5,326
(A/N): another long chapter, my little wlw heart loved writing this chapter! Also holy shit I was not expecting the first part to blow up, thank you to everyone that read it! Gosh, it’s enough to make a grown woman cry :’)
You cracked open your crusty eyes to Wilbur poking his head into your room. “(Y/n), Dad wants you.”
You groaned rubbing at your eyes in an attempt to get the sleep out of them. “I’ll be down in a sec.” Your voice was scratchy and thick with sleep.
He closed the door silently and you heard his socked feet thumping down the hallway. Your pain faded slightly into soreness, but your shoulders and upper back were slightly stiff. After you drug yourself out of bed, you shambled down the stairs to see your family at the table eating breakfast. Your stomach growled loudly, making you blush slightly in embarrassment. 
Your eldest brother snorted. “Hungry (y/n)?”
You slumped into your seat next to him slowly shoveling food into your mouth. “You have no idea.”
“You wouldn’t be that hungry if you ate dinner when you got home like I told you to do last night, young lady. You better eat every single thing on that plate.”
There was no arguing with a stern Dadza, so you reluctantly complied. Meanwhile, Tommy and Tubbo were telling Wilbur about your match animatedly. 
“And the ball was like fwoosh and she- the ball and-and-”
“And she hit it and Haley hit it to the other side! It was so cool!”
Wilbur merely smiled listening to them ramble about how badass you were last night. They made you feel genuinely happy that they admired your volleyball abilities; they were probably your biggest fans and that made your day most of the time. You remembered the first match they came to during your freshman year, they had run up to you right after the end-of-match whistle blew to spew about how good you were on the court. They met the team that day. Your team adored having them at your games, over the years they slowly replaced your school’s mascot. They played a huge part in morale boosts before and during matches. 
He looked over to you, “I didn’t know my little sister could be so badass.”
You felt your cheeks flare up. “It’s nothing I haven’t done before. It really wasn’t anything special.”
“(Y/n),” Philza pursed his lips, “you did all that with a bruised back, I’d consider that something special.”
“Wait (y/n), you’re hurt?” Tommy and Tubbo looked at you with wide concerned eyes.
“Yeah, but it’s not that bad. I can still move and stuff.”
Techno rolled his eyes, “it’s bad if you’re going to the doctor for it.”
“Eh, it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did yesterday, so I’m not worried.” 
“You’re deadass wincing everytime you move your arm,” WIlbur deadpanned, “it clearly still hurts.”
“Well yeah, I didn’t say the pain went away completely. Fuckin’ dumbass.”
“Language,” Philza glared at you two, gesturing to the two fifth graders watching the exchange with interest. 
You and Wilbur resumed eating and murmured out a defeated “sorry Dad.” You both glared at Techno when he huffed in amusement. 
“If you three keep bickering, you’re going to be late to school. Remember, you two have to drop off Tommy and Tubbo today cuz I’m taking your sister to her appointment. Now go get ready, I’ll take care of your dishes.”
Your brothers took off up the stairs, each competing to get to the bathroom first. Occasionally, you would hear shouts and slapping noises. You felt glad you didn’t have to deal with that today. Judging by Techno’s gruff voice laughing and an explosion of loud complaints from the rest, you assumed that he won today. “I swear, they’re gonna put me in an early grave.”
“You and me both Dad, you and me both.”
You went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of pain pills from the junk drawer. Various bottles of Motrin and Advil were scattered around the house because when you live with a rambunctious family like this one, people are bound to get hurt and headaches are common. Popping three into your mouth, you washed it down with a glass of water. The sound of the running water faucet and the slight splashing of water filled the silence of the room. 
“How’s your back? Does it feel any better?”
“Kinda, today it just feels more sore than throbbing, my headache went away mostly, and my shoulder doesn’t feel any worse, so that’s better I guess.”
He shut off the water and reached for a towel to dry off his wet hands. He moved over to the freezer and grabbed a frozen package of peas that your family never ate. You all used it whenever one of you would get a bruise. He moved behind you and held it against your back without warning. Flinching forward from the unexpected temperature change, you winced with the wave of pain moving brought you. 
“Shit, sorry.”
“You’re good. Just give me a little warning next time,” you chuckled. He gently placed it back on your back and you sighed from the slight relief that it brought you. You leaned into the peas and closed your eyes. “That feels amazing.”
“I bet. That bruise was pretty bad yesterday, can I look at it again?”
You reluctantly left the sanctuary that was the medical grade frozen peas and leaned forward, moving your hair out of the way for him. “Knock yourself out.”
He made a hissing noise as soon as he moved your shirt out of the way. “Dad, it probably looks worse than it feels.”
“...Have you seriously not looked at this yet? It looks pretty bad, hun.”
“Well, sorry I can’t move to look at my back without being in pain. I’ll try harder next time.” You snarked him.
“Hey, watch the attitude. Here, I’ll take a picture so you can see how bad it is.”
You heard the rustling of fabric as he fished his phone out of his pocket and the obnoxiously loud click of his camera app. You turned around to look at the damage. You squinted at his bright phone screen. Your entire back was swollen in some areas and was covered in ugly reds, blues, blacks, and purples. You made a disgusted noise in the back of your throat and cringed away from the screen. You always got nauseous seeing injuries.
“Yikes.”
“Yikes isn’t the only word I would use, it’s bad (y/n).”
“It looks worse than it feels, I promise. I’m gonna go get ready so we’re not late to my appointment. It sounds like the boys are finally done with the bathroom.”
You hobbled up the stairs slowly and made your way to the bathroom. The door was wide open ready for you to use. Turning on the light, you closed the door in a hurry so that your brothers wouldn’t try to get in again to hog the bathroom like they usually did. You frowned at your appearance. Your hair was sticking up in every direction and you had dark eye bags around your dull looking eyes. A few pimples dotted your skin like constellations in the night sky, but much uglier and more out of place. Turning your body, you scanned your figure. Your eyes watered as you realized that you had gained some weight. Adrian, Sammy, and Annie were right, you looked like garbage all the time.
You ripped your eyes away from yourself in the mirror with disgust etched deep into your features. You were disgusting through and through. Ripping your brush through your hair, you winced at the pain emanating from the back of your head. You deserve the pain for letting yourself go. Once you were slightly more satisfied with your appearance, you stepped out of the bathroom and quickly changed into the clothes you would wear today. You decided on a hoodie and a pair of tights. You didn’t feel like dressing yourself up. 
You once again walked down the stairs and slipped on your shoes to meet your dad in his car. You idly scrolled through your phone while you waited for him, looking at your notifications for the first time that day. You had ten texts from the group chat that you were in with Adrian, Annie, and Sammy.
Sammy <3
(Y/n) where the hell are you?
Adrian <3
Do you guys think she ditched us?
I knew she was ignoring us
Sammy <3
Who ignores their friends?
Annie <3
(Y/n) apparently. 
She has more important things to do ig
Oh my god
Do you guys think she skipped school?
Adrian <3
I wouldn’t put it past her
Maybe she finally gave up
(Y/n)
I’m sorry guys, I just have a doctor’s appointment today
I would never ignore you
Sammy <3
Yk, it’s hard to keep defending you when you keep ditching us..
(Y/n)
I’m not ditching you!
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys about my appointment
I’ll make it up to you guys
Adrian <3
How?
You’ve already skipped out on us enough already
Annie <3
Oh ik!
She can write our final research paper for us Dri!
I haven’t started it yet lmao
Adrian <3
Saaaame lmaoooo
Sammy <3
Guys, what about me???
Adrian <3
Idk, figure it out yourself
Sammy <3
Rude!
Uhhh
Ur gonna put together my final presentation for us history
(Y/n)
Alright, I can do that for you guys
Sam can you pls send me the rubric? 
Annie <3
Thanks love ;)
(Y/n)
No problem, I like doing things for friends
My dad’s coming, I gotta go
Talk to you guys later
Adrian <3
Byeeee (y/n), ur the best!
(Y/n)
: ) <3
You put your phone down as your dad started up the car and pulled out of the driveway. The drive was quiet as you stared out the window and thought about how much work you now had to do. On top of your own classes, you had two more to write and a presentation to make in a class you hadn’t taken since the first semester in your sophomore year. The research papers had to be at least four full pages long with a minimum of ten sources each due on Friday and you had no idea how big Sammy’s US history presentation has to be or what it’s even about. But that was fine, you’d do anything for your friends. 
“So, who were you texting? Your boyfriend?” He asked jokingly.
“Oh, just Adrian, Sammy, and Annie. I don’t have a boyfriend Dad,” because you were a closeted lesbian, but you wouldn’t tell him that anytime soon. “You know that.”
“I know,” he chuckled, “it’s been a while since I’ve seen them. How have they been?”
“They’re good. Adrian got a job at the diner, he’s a host. Sammy and Annie have been focusing more on raising their grades.”
“Good for them! You should invite them over for dinner sometime.”
“I was actually thinking that I could maybe go hang out with them on Halloween...?”
“(Y/n), the family was going to take Tommy and Tubbo trick-or-treating.”
“I know, but there’s always next year. Plus, we haven’t been able to hang out in so long! We’re always free at different times.”
“I don’t know (y/n), what if they don’t want to trick-or-treat next year? What were you planning on doing with them?”
“We were just gonna hang out at Annie’s house and watch some horror movies,” you lied. He would never let you go if he knew you were going to a party. Especially one where alcohol would be involved and hormonal teenage boys ran rampant actively scouting for an easy lay.
“...I’ll think about it.” The car pulled into the doctor office’s parking lot.
“Thank you Dad! It’s been a while since we’ve all hung out together.”
He chuckled as you both walked into the lobby, checked in, and waited for your name to be called. About ten minutes later, you were summoned by a nurse so you went into the back leaving your dad to wait in the lobby. The nurse recorded your height and weight (much to your dismay, you gained four pounds) and asked you the standard questions about your injury and uncomfortable questions about your overall health. The clacking of her acrylic nails on the plastic keyboard filled the awkward silence.
Once that was done, she left and you had to wait a little bit for the doctor. After slipping into the backless gown the nurse left, you mindlessly scrolled on your phone. Jumping when someone knocked on the door, you looked up to see your family’s doctor smiling at you.
“Hello (y/n), how are we feeling today?”
“I’m alright.”
“I hear that you had quite the fall onto some concrete, is that true?”
“Yes, I landed on my back and the back of my head.”
She reached over and squirted hand sanitizer onto her hands, rubbing it in and looking back at you. “Can you please lay on your stomach so I can take a look at your back?”
You nodded, shifting on the uncomfortable paper covered cushioned table onto your stomach. You felt her cold hands gently graze your bruises before she pulled out her stethoscope. “Can you take a good deep breath in for me?”
You complied and she instructed you to let it out. Doing this multiple times along your back, she put her stethoscope away and continued prodding at your exposed back. 
“There’s definitely some swelling in multiple areas… It doesn’t feel or sound like you cracked or broke any ribs, which is excellent… Do you have any pain deep in your shoulder when you move it?”
“Yes, I landed on it wrong last night at my volleyball match.”
“How would you describe your pain? Stabbing, sore, throbbing…”
“More sore, but a little stabbing pain when I move my arm.”
She moved her fingers to examine your shoulder. “It doesn’t sound like a sprain or fracture, can you move it up and down for me?”
You moved your arm up and down, front and back, and side to side. “You still have a full range of movement, that’s good. Can I have you sit back up again?”
You sat back up and she started testing you for a concussion. After passing her tests, you were cleared of having a concussion. “Alright (y/n), it appears that you only strained your deltoid and teres muscles and you have severe bruising along your back. Make sure you ice your back and, if you have one, wear a shoulder compression sleeve. Anti-inflammatory medications such as Ibuprofen will help with the swelling. Other than that, you have a clean bill of health! You can still participate in volleyball practices, but you need to take it easy. Don’t do anything that will strain the muscles any further.”
“Thank you Dr. Samson,” you smiled at her. 
“You’re welcome. I’ll leave you to change back into your clothes and you’re free to go! You may leave the gown on the table.”
She left the room and you redressed yourself. Walking out to the lobby, Philza’s head perked up when he heard the door opening. He stood up and walked over to you with a slightly worried face. You both walked back out to the car.
“So?”
“Dr. Samson said that I don’t have a concussion, sprains or broken bones. She told me that I just strained my shoulder muscles and I need to keep ice on my back.”
He visibly slumped in relief. “Thank god. What’d she say about volleyball?”
“She said that I could keep playing, but I have to take it easy.”
“Good, wouldn’t want you missing finals on Thursday. Do you know if the team you’re playing is any good?”
“Dad, of course they’re good, we’re the top two teams in the area.”
“I bet their setter is nowhere near as good as you are and I bet the setter and spiker aren’t as synced as you and Haley are. You two make a good pair.” 
“Yeah we do, don’t we?” You looked out the window and smiled a little and felt your ears turn red. The very mention of Haley’s name was enough to make you feel like you were on cloud nine. The car fell silent again as you neared your high school. 
In your AP world history class, the class was looking at the test you had taken yesterday. Surprisingly, you got a 74% on the multiple choice part and a 50% on your essay portion, so that landed you with a just below passing grade. You thought you completely flunked that test yesterday, so that was a pleasant surprise. It took a good portion out of your overall grade in the class, lowering it from a comfortable A- to a slightly alarming B. You supposed it could’ve been a lot worse. Besides reviewing your tests, the class didn’t do much except starting the reading for the next chapter.
Your psychology online class went like it usually did, however your phone blew up with texts about midway through the block. Glancing down, you saw that it was Haley. Shouldn’t she be in class?
Hales : )
(Y/n) meet me in the locker room right after school
I need to talk to you before practice starts
It’s an emergency
(Y/n)
What’s going on?
Hales : )
I’ll explain after school.
Can’t talk about it over text
(Y/n)
Alright, see ya then ig
You felt your gut twinge. Something’s wrong, but you didn’t know what. You were worried about Haley, usually she was really bubbly. You’ve never seen the senior act so strange before. You could only wait the block out until the bell would release you from the confines of the library and into the locker room. After sending a quick text to your brothers that you were going to stay after school for your practice, you stared blankly at your laptop’s clock as you counted down the minutes left in the class period. Ten minutes. Eight minutes. Four minutes. Two minutes. Thirty seconds-
You shot up from your seat as the bell rang. Pushing past some groups of freshmen that congregated in the hallways, you made a beeline for the locker room. In the locker room, you found Haley sitting on the metal bench on the opposite end of the locker room with her back facing the last row of lockers and facing the brick wall. She was clenching her phone in her hand with an iron grip. You hurried to sit next to her.
“Hales, what’s going on? Talk to me.”
“It’s bad (y/n). Like, really bad.”
“What’s bad? You’re worrying me.”
Wordlessly, she unlocked her phone and handed it to you. On the screen was something that you weren’t expecting to see. You scrolled through the contents and felt your stomach drop with each scroll; someone took pictures of you and Haley throughout the match last night. Every picture was a violation to yours and Haley’s dignities, they had gotten zoomed in pictures of your boobs and asses. Deeper, there were even pictures taken of you changing into your volleyball uniform through your open window. You were only in your underwear. Haley had a similar picture that you scrolled past as fast as you could. Scrolling to the bottom of the text message thread, the person that sent Haley the pictures added a caption to the last picture. It was a picture of you and Haley together celebrating your match, her arm slung around your shoulder with your mouth open mid-laugh.
Unknown
I’m sending these out to the entire school unless you stop hanging around her.
If you tell anyone, the pics will be printed off and put in every single locker and bathroom the school has.
You’ll be the sluts of Klinkver High. 
Cut all ties now. You have two days. 
Do not try me.
“Jesus christ Haley. Who the fuck would do this? This is sick.”
She took her phone back and locked it without looking at the screen. “I don’t know (y/n). I wanted to tell you not to openly talk to me for a few days. We don’t know who took these, we don’t know what they’re capable of. I don’t wanna risk angering them.”
“We can find them! If we look close enough, we might find a few clues where they were sitting. Do you remember seeing anything suspicious last night?”
“(Y/n), our best option is to leave it. We just can’t talk in person anymore; we can still text each other.”
“Hales, how are we gonna not talk? I’m your setter.”
She ran a hand through her thick black hair. “I don’t know (y/n). Just-just don’t talk to me anymore, I don’t want your pictures leaked.”
“I don’t care about my pictures. My name’s been drug through so much shit this past year that it won’t affect me. I don’t want your stuff leaked.”
She gave a watery laugh, “you care too much, I love that about you…” Glistening eyes turned to look deep into your own. “I’m so scared (y/n), I don’t know what to do.”
You pulled her into a hug, wincing slightly when she squeezed her arms around your upper back. She buried her face into your shoulder and started shaking with muffled sobs. “Haley, I promise I’ll catch whatever sick bastard is doing this to you. You don’t deserve this.”
She said nothing as you rested your chin on the top of her head and started to rock her back and forth slowly. You two stayed like that even after her sobbing resided, finding comfort in each other’s presence. Glancing at the clock, you realized that you two have been in the locker room for an hour. Practice was set to start in fifteen minutes, people were going to start coming into the locker room soon. 
You reluctantly pulled away from the hug and looked Haley in her bloodshot eyes, “I’m not going to let those pictures of you get leaked. I swear on my-”
The door to the locker room swung open and loud laughter echoed throughout the room. Haley pushed you away and speed walked off to a bathroom stall, slamming the door shut behind her. 
“Damn (y/n), what’d you do? She’s pissed.” 
“It’s none of your business, Zara.” 
“Oh, so it’s a lover’s quarrel then~” She cackled, her hair bouncing slightly with each heave of her shoulders. 
“For the love of… Haley and I aren’t dating, we’re both straight.” She’s straight.
“Mmhm.” She brushed past you to go to her locker. You followed her, your locker was in the grouping next to hers. You shared the area with Haley. You changed as fast as you could so that Haley would have time to change before practice starts. Speed walking into the gym, Zara was hot on your trail wearing a shit eating grin.
“Why are you in such a rush? Giving your girlfriend the silent treatment?”
“Zara. We aren’t dating. For the last time, we’re both heterosexual, not homosexual!” You wildly gestured with your hands to emphasize your point, your voice being amplified by the vast gym. Coach Williams gave you a confused look from across the gym. 
“You just keep telling yourself that.”
“I’m serious.”
“Hi serious,” a soft voice replied from behind you, “I’m Jazzy.”
You groaned at the pun at the same time Zara started cackling, giving the short libero a high five. “Nice!”
“That was so bad, Jaz.” You couldn’t help the smile that found its way onto your face.
Zara poked your cheek with a wide grin. “C’mon, you’re smiling!”
“I am and I hate it.”
Your bickering continued with Jazzy watching you two with a content smile. The remaining members of the team (Haley, Marlene, and Zuri) filed into the gym right as Coach Williams blew her whistle. 
Practice went by slowly without Haley talking to you. Sure, you had the rest of the team, but it didn’t feel the same with you guys ignoring each other. If the team or Coach Williams noticed you two not talking to each other, they didn’t say anything. By time practice was over, you all went to the locker room to change. After slipping into your fuzzy pajama pants, you sat on the bench and texted Wilbur to come pick you up. He was supposed to pick you up after practice today because he and Techno took the car home after school. Five minutes passed and he still didn’t reply. He probably won’t see the text until you got home from walking.
You sighed, resting your chin in your palm as you leaned forward. One by one, the girls left the locker room until it was only you and Haley left. 
“Do you need a ride (y/n)?” She asked gently.
“But what if the person sees us together? I can just walk home, it’s not really a big deal.”
She rolled her eyes at you. “It is a big deal. It’s cold and dark out. You could get kidnapped or something. You don’t even have a coat with you. I’m giving you a ride whether you like it or not.”
You playfully rolled your eyes at her and stood up to walk next to her, “okay, mom.”
“Don’t give me that attitude young lady.”
“You can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my real mom!”
She gasped and lightly smacked the back of your shoulder, “I married your- are you alright? Shit, I didn’t hurt you did I?”
“No, you’re good. It’s just this damned bruise.”
She moved her hands and frantically turned you around to pull the neck of your shirt down. You two stood in front of the school’s main entrance with the nauseatingly bright fluorescent light bouncing off the reflective surface of the tiles. The orange tinted street lights lit up the sidewalk outside.
“(Y/n)-”
“I know what you’re gonna say.”
She scoffed, “oh really? What am I gonna say then, o wise one?”
You turned around to face her, “‘oh, this is bad, yadda yadda yadda.’ Everyone’s been saying that about it. Honestly it looks worse than it feels. Tis but a scratch, m’lady.”
She snorted and covered her mouth, “never call me ‘m’lady’ ever again.”
You started to walk to her car in the empty parking lot. “Or what? What’re ya gonna do?”
“I swear to god, (y/n), I’m gonna leave you here.”
“Do it, pussy. Bet you won’t.”
“You really wanna bet?”
You grinned at her, “hell yeah.”
She broke off into a mad dash to her car, laughing freely into the night sky. You chased after her trying not to move your arms much, your laugh mixing with hers like a perfect symphony composed of the world’s best musicians. The sound of your rubber soles slapping the pavement resonated throughout the parking lot as you quickly gained on her. Reaching out to grab her shirt, she smirked at you and sharply turned to the right into the grass.
You grinned as her pace slowed down slightly. You’d be able to catch her at this pace. You pushed your legs to move faster as she looked at you from over her shoulder and shrieked in surprise at how close you were to her. You cackled at her reaction, reaching out once again, you grabbed her hand. She was stopped dead in her tracks as your shoulder was yanked with the sudden momentum, making you hiss in slight pain. Despite that, you didn’t let go of her soft hand. 
You both stood there under the moonlight and the soft orange street lamps trying to  catch your breath. The slightly damp blades of grass tickled your ankle as you shifted to face her better. Through gasping breaths and a dopey grin, you said “you… lost, pussy.”
She let out a breathy laugh as she pulled you to her car. “Shuddup.”
“Make me~”
She opened the passenger side door for you and got into the driver's seat. Her car smelled like vanilla and citrus. “Oh, you will later when I make you do more sets in weight lifting tomorrow, hurt shoulder be damned.”
She turned on the ignition and the car revved to life, soft indie pop wafted from the speakers. She backed out of the parking space and sped off to the main road. “You wouldn’t…”
“I’m your captain, (y/n). I can make you do whatever I want.” You felt your cheeks heat up a tad. You were happy that she couldn’t see you.
“Naw, you’re too much of a softie for that. Admit it, I’ve got you wrapped around my little finger.”
She chuckled as she pulled into your driveway and put the car in park. “...Alright, maybe you do. Just a bit.”
She turned to look at you. She looked stunning with the shadows accentuating the contours of her face perfectly. You found yourself glancing at her lips and leaning slightly towards you. To your surprise, she started leaning into you as well. Before your lips could finally mesh together, she pulled back with a sigh and ran her hand through her hair. You felt a rush of disappointment and fear course through your veins. She didn’t like you like that, you should’ve known better. You were so stupid. So, so stu-
“I can’t (y/n). I want to kiss you so bad, but we can’t. Not yet at least. Not until we find the pervert that took those pictures of us.”
You sighed, “right.”
The car was filled with awkward silence. Not even the soft music streaming from the speakers could alleviate the awkwardness. God, you really screwed up your friendship, didn’t you? Sammy, Adrian, and Annie were right; you messed up everything you touched.
You coughed, “I think I’m gonna…”
“Yeah…”
You grabbed your bag and walked into your house, the smell of chicken slapping you in the face instantly. Without checking in with your dad, you hurried up the stairs, desperate for the warm comfort of your bed. That, and if you wanted to get Sammy’s presentation and Adrian’s, Annie’s, and your research papers done by Friday, you had to start as soon as you could. You were going to skip dinner for tonight, you’d just grab more breakfast tomorrow morning. 
You plopped on your bed and got started on your research paper. Luckily, you already had all of the sources you were planning on using and the rough outline of each body paragraph, so writing the actual paper wasn’t going to take long. You worked until you heard a knock at your door. 
“(Y/n),” Techno’s monotone voice called out, “dinner’s ready.”
“Tell Dad I’m not hungry. Practice’s got me beat, I’m going to bed soon.”
He grunted, “you know he’s not gonna like that right?”
You felt frustration start to swim circles around your chest, “Techno, just tell him that I’m not hungry right now. Please.”
“Damn, you don’t need to be like that. I’ll tell him.”
You heard his stomping footsteps thumping down the hall. Shit, you pissed him off. You were a terrible person, he was just trying to get you to eat something, Pushing back the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes, you forced the panic that was starting to swirl around your body in laps deep into your being. You didn’t have time to deal with your failures and stupid emotions, you had to get this done. You didn’t have time to think about Haley’s warm breath ghosting across your lips. You didn’t have time to think about how she probably regretted almost kissing you. You didn’t have time to fall into an anxiety spiral, you needed to focus if you wanted Adrian, Annie, and Sammy to forgive you. You ruined yours and Haley’s friendship and did the same to yours and Techno’s. They were the only ones you had left. You needed to be a better friend.
Taglist (comment if you want to be added or if I missed you, it won’t let me tag some tumblrs :((( ):
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Text
What’s yours is mine 1
Warnings: nonconsent and rape, allusions to abuse, stalking, possessiveness, pregnancy, and more tags to be added.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Pairing: dark!Ransom Drysdale x pregnant!Reader
Summary: After five years, your past is far behind you but just as you think you can live your happily ever after, your ex shows up at the worst moment.
Note: I couldn’t sleep and ended up writing this and it will not be a long ongoing series but it will be a few parts. But Roo you say that all the time. Yes, well, I’m trying and I’m sorry but I’m gonna try to not be the worst.
Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!
Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
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“Oh my god, is that really you?” the voice made you stand stalk straight.
You took a breath and forced a smile before you turned to the indomitable woman. You never expected to see Linda again, not after you broke up with her son almost five years ago. And there she was, as rigid and righteous as ever, her thin lips curved in a mocking grin.
“Linda,” you greeted her in a singsong and looked around the grocery store. You never went to the overpriced organic market but your local shop didn’t have dragonfruit and you had a painful craving, “how are you?”
“Darling, I’m just great,” she held an empty basket on her arm, an odd sight as you never expected her to do her own shopping, “oh, and look at you!” Before you knew it, her hand was on your stomach and you struggled not shy away, “how far are you?”
“Um,” you looked down at the large ring on her finger and resisted the urge to step away as you often did in this situation, “almost five months.”
“And married?” she grabbed your left hand and pretended to admire the small teardrop diamond, “gorgeous.”
“Mhmm,” you waited for you to release you and swayed in place, “you barely look a day older than the last time I saw you.”
“You’re well? You look well,” she primped her short hair at the compliment, “oh, a baby.” She reached out again and you sighed as she rubbed your stomach, “for luck.”
You tried not to frown and ended up laughing at the tension, “well, it was nice running into you.”
“Oh, you know, I barely come down here but we’re headed up to my father’s place, you remember, such a cozy house, and Joni is in charge of food and well, I wouldn’t trust her with a plastic spoon so of course, I have a back up plan.”
You nodded along with her awkwardly, frozen in the spot as the dragon fruit barely seemed worth the torture. Linda was hard to please and alway derisive, but for as long as you were with Ransom, she had taken a keen shine to you. That alone came with an edge but it was rarely used to cut you.
You forced another laugh, “that sounds fun, getting away from the city.”
“Ugh, just another family gathering,” she waved it off with her free hand, “I’ll have to tell Ransom I ran into you, if he even shows up.”
“Well, I don’t think--”
“He’s grown up so much,” she interrupted, “you wouldn’t believe it. He got his own imprint in my father’s company publishing true crime. He’s really making a place for himself now.”
“That’s great,” you tried not to falter at the mention of her son. You hadn’t ended on the greatest terms and your relationship had been tumultuous and regrettable.
“I hope you have a great weekend, Linda,” you said, “but I got to--”
“Oh, not at all, I’m keeping you,” she squeezed your arm, “God, he was such an idiot to let you go.”
You nodded and swallowed through your tight throat, “I’m glad he’s doing better for himself.”
“You too,” she trilled, “oh, before I let you go, darling, is it a boy?”
You blinked and your smile wavered, “how did you know?”
“I could always tell,” she said, “so precious.”
She gave your stomach one last pat and disappeared into the produce section. You blinked as you looked down at the scaled fruit in your right hand. Chocolate, you needed chocolate.
You were rattled as you waited in the express line and put your things on the belt. You hadn’t thought of Ransom in a very long time. Not much. His shadow followed you around in those moments when your heart raced and your head spun, but you had learned to work through those fits. No one else knew what happened behind closed doors, they only knew Ransom, not Hugh.
You paid and shoved your fruit and candy into a paper bag. You headed out into the misty spring air. The rain had finally stopped and left the streets slick and shining. The sun was hazy as it clung to the last of the clouds and you inhaled the wet scent of grass and gravel.
You let your key hang from the ignition as you took a moment to gather yourself. You stared at the modest ring on your finger and held your stomach and you swore you could still feel Linda’s bony hand there. 
You had a loving husband, Dez, and a son on the way. Ransom wasn’t a part of any of that and this was just a blip on radar, the aftershock of the storm that ended years before. You sniffed and turned the engine. You wouldn’t go back to that store, it was far too expensive and the clientele were certainly not of your ilk.
🍼
Dez was in the kitchen when you got home, the smell of steak and peppers rose from the frying pan. You kissed his cheek as he kept one hand on the spatula and you dropped your bag on the counter beside the stove. You went to the fridge and poured yourself a glass of water. You turned and leaned against the marble and drank deeply.
“So, hon, how was your day?” he asked as he put the spatula down and peeked in the bag, “hmm, odd pairing but I don’t hate it.”
“I had a craving,” you shrugged, “it was… okay,” you heaved, “what’s for dinner?”
“Steak fajitas,” he said, “I trimmed the fat for you and,” he turned and reached out to you, “and I got you some champagne… non-alcoholic, obviously.”
“You know it doesn’t have the same effects,” you kidded as you put your glass down and settled into his arms, “and well,” you looked down at your stomach, “we already got one drunken night growing.”
He laughed and bent to kiss you on the lips. He rocked you as the pan sizzled behind him. You closed your eyes and tensed as suddenly your head flashed with the memory of Ransom, of the way he’d kiss you, harder than Dez, and the way it always turned to more whether you wanted it or not.
“Hey,” Dez pulled back, “you okay?”
“Yeah,” you lied, “hormones.”
“Aw, hon, well I have the perfect dessert planned,” he purred.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmhmm, strawberry massage oil,” he framed your face with his hand, “a nice long back rub…”
“Perfect,” you giggled, “why are you spoiling me?”
“Don’t I always?” he smirked.
“Hmm, rarely without reason,” you said.
“Well…” he voice trailed off and slowly he dropped his arms. He turned his back to you and grabbed the pan, stirring the contents with a shake, “I didn’t want you to miss me too bad.”
“Miss you?” you came forward and bent your arms over the counter, “where are you going?”
“Chicago, there’s some evidence down there we need to look at and they refuse to transfer it to our office so… bullshit confidentiality clause, but we need it.”
“How long?” your heart dropped.
“Well, I gotta leave in the morning but I told Gary I won’t stay longer than Monday.”
“And what did he say?”
“He laughed,” Dez shook his head, “I promise, I’ll do my best to be back as soon as I can--”
“No, I understand,” you said gloomily, “it’s just…” you cupped your chin and tapped your lips with your fingertips, “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too,” he said as he turned the burner off, “and this little guy,” he touched your stomach and you shivered as you remembered how Linda had done the same with her cold palm, “so, you choose a name yet?”
“Still not naming him Superman, babe,” you chided, “but no, I can’t make up my mind. God, it’s like my mind is in shambles, I can’t remember why I go in a room or even focus on one thing for more than two minutes before I’m distracted by what colour I want to paint the nursery and I can’t even decide on that because then I’m thinking about what kind of wood the crib should be--”
“It’s fine, you’re fine,” he assured as he opened the bag of tortillas, “you’re still there, you’re just… sharing a brain right now.”
“Wasn’t enough to go around in the first place,” you scoffed.
“Shh,” he arranged the plates carefully, like a five star restaurant, tortillas stacked, steak and veg together, a little dish of cheese, some sour cream, lettuce, salsa, all divvied out in a spectacular salsa you would only make a mess of.
“I thought the pregnancy would give me a chance to finish my book, but--”
“Well, you got maternity leave after that,” he said.
“From what? Sitting at my keyboard and crying? I’ll just be holding a baby and crying,” you sighed, “you said you’d take some time off.”
“I did say that and I will,” he grabbed the plates and nodded you out of the kitchen. He set the plates on the table and you sat as he went to grab two glasses and as many bottles. He poured you your spineless champagne and had a beer for himself, “I don’t want to miss anything.”
“You can’t take forever off,” you muttered, “we both know that. I could go back to copywriting and maybe--”
“Babe, that job made you miserable and you will finish your book,” he handed you a napkin, “I’ve read your stuff, it’s… you said your ex was in publishing?”
“Did I?”
“I thought you did, you never really… talk about the exes, which I love but, I think you said something about it. You don’t think he would--”
“No,” you snapped, “no,” you said softer, “he wouldn’t.”
“Sorry,” he said startled by your reaction, “I didn’t--”
“It’s nothing, I just-- exes, right?”
“It was a stupid suggestion,” he said, “I’m sorry, but… I have a client, he might have some contacts.”
“You don’t have to do that--”
“I don’t have to, I want to because the world deserves to hear your voice,” he insisted, “I hate to share you but I’d be selfish to keep you to myself.”
You smiled and unfolded a tortilla. Still, your heart raced as the second mention of Ransom that day had you on edge. Dez watched you build your fajita and you looked up at him.
“Well, since you’ll be in Chicago, maybe I’ll get a few pages done.”
🍼
The call came on Monday, Dez wouldn’t be home that night. You contented yourself to stay in with your laptop and sugar cookies. Still, you barely got a sentence done before you snapped your computer closed and gave up with a frustrated grunt. You slept, not well, and got up with some trouble as your hips ached.
A good morning text from Dez made you smile but there was still no promise of an impending return. You felt pent up in the apartment and lonely as its emptiness reminded you of your absent husband. Too tense to sit down and type, you opted to go for a walk, hoping it would calm your nerves.
You walked past the shop windows and stopped to peek in at used books and handmade candles. You had no destination in mind, only a restless step. There was a little store at the corner with locally made quilts and knitted sweaters. The smell of potpourri wafted out from beneath the painted door and made your throat tickle. Even so, your curiosity drew you inside.
A small woman greeted you from behind the desk. She held two needles as she crocheted some indistinguishable craft. You smiled and said hello as you headed down the centre aisle. You looked along the racks of quilts, floral, striped, plaid, and polka dot. You stopped at a bright yellow piece with honey bees along the border. You hadn’t thought of yellow for the nursery.
You felt the soft fabric and checked the tag. You lifted the quilt from the bar, content that it was worth it and a great motivator. You stopped before you could turn back, a familiar voice chilled your blood.
“It’s cute,” Ransom said as he stepped up next to you, “kinda girly for a boy though.”
You glanced over at him and folded the blanket over your arm. You backed up but as you turned he did too. He blocked your bath as he stretched his arm across the aisle.
“My mother told me you were expecting,” he said, “and she was right, you look good.”
“What do you want?” you whispered as you clutched the quilt.
“Nothing, just saying hello,” his mouth slanted.
“Hugh, I’m not stupid,” you hissed, “it’s been five years.”
“Hugh,” he repeated dully, “you remember your manners.”
“Leave me alone and let me past,” you tried to duck under his arm but he shifted his body over and backed you up to the end of the aisle.
“And married,” he taunted.
“He’s outside,” you lied, “if I stay too long--”
“I didn’t see him when you walked up,” he intoned, “he must be easy to miss.”
“Have you been following me?” you uttered.
“Only from the cafe,” he shrugged, “short walk.”
“Please, get away from me,” you quivered.
“I’m not doing anything--”
“You know exactly what you’re doing,” you hissed, “now I will scream so move.”
“Mama Bear,” he crooned, “I love it, you’re so protective.”
“Hugh,” you warned.
“Sweetie,” he hummed.
You shoved his shoulder but he didn’t move. You hit him harder and he winced. He chuckled and stood straight. He waved his arm down the aisle and stepped aside.
“Don’t make a scene,” he said, “you always did like to be dramatic.”
“Fuck you,” you snarled, “don’t come near me again.”
“Don’t act like you don’t miss me,” he called after you as you dropped the quilt on the counter, “we were so good together.”
You left without buying, a shrill apology to the lady at the counter as you went as fast as you could out the door. The bell tinkled after you and the door clamored shut. You felt nauseous and dizzy. The last thing you wanted or needed was to ever see that man again.
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OBSESSIVE STOLAS X Male Imp Pt.1
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(This is a long fanfic and will consist of multiple parts.)
The day Stolas met you, the life which had been boring at worst and full of love and respect at best, was in complete shambles. Broken ever since the "Brunch incident".
He and his wife were barely on speaking terms, and when they did speak, it would almost exclusively devolved into a fight filled with harsh words and thrown objects.
His darling starfire hadn't spoken to him in over a week. Something he'd usually chock up to teenage angst, but she actively avoided him now.
Something she'd never do before.
And so with his homelife slowly tearing him apart, he naturally thought a visit to his favourite Imp in all hell would brighten his day.
And that's where you came in.
You'd worked at I.M.P for the last few months and were quickly becoming a valued member of the I.M.P family.
Youd just finished a job and were about to fill out the rather tedious paperwork the job entailed, When the towering Demon Prince entered the office.
You were too proud an Imp to admit it, but when you first saw Prince Stolas you were a little starstruck.
Said Prince, apon finding a new Imp at I.M.P's office immediately inquired as to who you were
Taken off guard by suddenly be talking to a Prince of hell, you spent a moment fumbling your words, before finally telling him your name.
Stolas finding the whole thing quiet adorable.
Stolas sparked up a conversation, asking how you ended up at I.M.P and your work with the company. Something you were more than happy to tell him about.
You told him how Blitzø had hired you after youd single handedly killed 3 men in a fight with only a can opener.
Then you told him about how working as an assassin was challenging but enjoyable work, all things considered.
You tell him how working for the chaotic force of nature that is Blitzø was great too, when he wasn't being a prick.
As charming as Stolas found your slightly flustered conversation. There was a purpose to his visit. And so asking you if Blitzø was in, to which you told him he was in his office.
Stolas suddenly became anxious, wondering aloud if his outfit was presentable or not.
This caused you to laugh, placing a hand over your mouth.
Stolas was immediately indignant, demanding to know what was so funny.
You killed the laugh with a cough, before telling him you laughed because simply put "You'd never seen a more ravishing demon in all your time in hell" And for him to be anxious was funny to you.
Stolas Blushed hard, a Warmth he didn't understand spreading through his chest. It had been so long since he'd received such praise from someone who wasnt utterly subservient to him.
Sputtering out an timid thank you, before immediately making his way Blitzø's office, Ignoring your cries to wait.
Being violently thrown out of Blitzø's office was not how he saw this unplanned little 'Rendezvous' going.
Blitzø stepped out stared down at him, a mixture of disgust and anger plain on his face.
'I'm so sick of this shit stolas' Blitzø grumble out, pinching the bridge between his eyes. 'We made a Fucking deal, I come over ONCE a MONTH and fuck your brains out. And you leave me alone unless you have a job for us.'
Stolas tried to reply, trying to explain why he was there. But before he could Blitzø interjected 'I can put up with all creepy perverted texts and shit, but I am not your God Damned SEXTOY Stolas! I don't want to see your ass don't here again!' He screamed, before slamming the door.
Stolas just sat there. Unwilling to move. He felt like he'd just been slapped.
His eyes stung. His throat burned. He clutched at the ground, and even as his world fell apart around him, he could only focus on one thing.
He felt so cold...
He had no one.
No one loved him.
He felt so cold...
It took everything he had not to breakdown, he couldn't, not here. It was unbecoming of a prince to been seen showing such weakness.
The sudden sensation of something on his shoulder. Daring to open his eyes, he was shocked to find You, standing over him. Hand on his shoulder and a sympathetic smile on your face.
You reached into your coat and removed a handkerchief.
Croutching down you wiped the growing dew around his eyes.
Putting away the hanky, you stood up and offered him a hand.
Helping him to his feet, you asked him if he was okay. Stolas immediately tried to put up his aristocratic facade and assure you he was fine.
Only for the words to die in his throat and for him to almost burst into tears again.
Leading him into the nearby office, you find yourself in the conference room. You sat him on said conference table.
Quickly zipping off, you returned a moment later with a little plastic cup of water.
Handing the little cup, he took it with a wordless thanks.
Stolas felt cold.
He felt like his whole world was falling apart. He had nothing.
His wife couldnt stand him.
His beloved Starfire wouldn't stay in the same room as him.
He had nothing and no one.
No one loved him.
Why should he even go on.
Even through there crimson glow, you could see just how close he was to breaking down.
So before his despair could consume him completely, you did the only thing you could think of.
You climbed atop the conference table and pulled the poor owl-boi into a hug.
It was a little awkward due to the height difference, but standing on the table brought you high enough to pull his head onto your chest.
Stolas was utterly shocked, not just by the action itself, But the fact you did this on your own acord.
He didn't have to barter or beg or make promises for your affection.
You just... gave it freely.
He couldnt help himself.
It had been so long since he'd last felt the loving touch of another soul.
And for you to give affection so openly, he felt he could let himself be vulnerable to you. He releases a long anguished cry, bursting into tears.
You just held him close, gently petting his head, whispering words of comfort, telling him everything would be okay.
He didn't know why but your words brought out
Stolas threw his arms around you, holding onto you as though you were the last anchor in his sea of despair.
The poor owl drenched the front of your shirt with his dejected tears.
Stolas didn't know how long he cried for, and you simply didn't care.
You could tell he needed this and were more then happy to give the demonic prince some much needed affection.
Eventually, Stolas shed all the tears he had, standing up he unintentionally pulled himself from your warm embrace.
Stolas instantly missed the warmth of your touch. The same all consuming coldness as before instantly returning.
Looking up at Stolas you draw your handkerchief and go to wipe his tear stained face.
But before you could, Stolas grabbed your hand, his other hand was placed on the back of your head, he pulls you into a kiss.
You weren't sure how to react, stolas certainly didn't give you any time to figure it out as he pulled you deeper into the kiss.
While you were initially shocked by the kiss, you honestly, didn't care to put up any kind of resistance.
While you would of preferred he asked for a kiss, you could tell the guy needed this. And all things considered, you were happy to oblige him.
So when his tongue slid across your teeth, asking for entrance, you wrapped your arms around his neck you let it in, giving stolas full access to your mouth.
You began leaning into the kiss, doing your best to return his passion.
Stolas, took your returning passion as further permission, he became more aggressive.
His tongue dominated your mouth, as his hands began roamed across your body.
Stolas was in bliss, each time you shivered or moaned, bringing him further pleasure.
Taking each sound as encouragement, he became more and more aggressive. Sure that each sound you made was an unconscious sign of love.
He became more desperate to hear your angelic voice as moaned or cried out. Desperate to hear someone say they loved him.
Gripping his head, you tried to de-escalate the situation before it got out of hand.
Of course that was easier said then done, as Stolas was much stronger then he looked. But after much effort, despite Stolas's silent insistence that you continue, you finally managed to break the kiss.
Stolas's forceful nature found you pushed back onto the table. Stolas towering over you, staring down at you with those awe inspiring crimson eyes.
'We cant be this doing this' You try to tell him 'Not here. What if someone walks in on us?' The question hung in the air. When it became obvious it wasn't deterring his growing need you asked 'What if Blitzø catches us?'
Stolas pulled back at that.
Looking to the side he rubbed his arm, Anxiety bubbling in his chest.
Stolas hadn't thought of that.
What if Blitzø did walk in?
Finding him with one of his employees.
In his office.
Would Blitzø be upset?
Would he yell at him, scream and throw a fit, insisting he had betrayed him...
Would Blitzø even care?
There was a part of him that said 'Of course he would. Blitzø, no matter how much he denied it, surely Blitzø cared for him on some level.'
Stolas could tell himself that all he wanted, but deep down, he knew the truth.
He placed his hand on your cheek, looking down at you. He tried to speak only for a new wave of emotions hit him, causing him on reflex to fall silent.
It was in that moment, as he stood over you, did he realis he didn't need to hide his vulnerability from you. You weren't judging him, he could be vulnerable to you and would judge him for it.
His heart swelled and despite having just met you, he found himself developing a deep yearning to be with you.
'I-I know this is sudden. And you have every right to say no. But please... No one has ever shown me such genuine affection like you have today.'
' I'm so used to people only interested in me for my status or resources.' Stolas held himself, looking dejectedly to the side. A new wave of sorrow enveloping him.
'Your the only one who's shown me the slightes care, past what I could do for them.' He didn't meet your gaze, he ran his hand down your chest, his voice becoming just above a whisper. 'I have nothing (Y/N), I have no one. Right now your the only thing I have.'
'I need to feel something (Y/n), I need to feel something before I fall apart, and I want feel it with you.' He was practically begging you by this point.
Things like pity and mercy were a death sentence in hell.
There was nothing stopping you from saying no. You cared little for royalty. You weren't some door mat that took every word from royalty as gospel.
But right now, this great Demonic Prince standing before you. He didn't want your obedience. He wasn't forcing you to do anything.
He just wanted some sort of affection. something you knew you could give him so easily.
How could you say no?
With a deep sigh, you resigned yourself to your fate. Leaning forward you place your hand under his chin and raised his head to meet your gaze. Stolas was shocked when pulled him close and planted a kiss on his his beak.
'Lock the door' you whispered.
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writingoneshots · 3 years
Note
Maybe an odd prompt, but how about: Law having a crush on a Skypeian reader and thinks their wings are cute (in a Bepo kinda way?). The wings get injured in a fight so he's doing first aid while trying not to fawn over the fluffy feathers. Maybe the wings are sensitive so reader is blushy?
Hey there :) ! Now this is something I have never read before. Interesting request.. I couldn't resist to write it.
- Law x Skypiean reader - 1,526 words - cutie pie, little Bepo moment, SFW
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After finally defeating Doflamingo, Law was exhausted. He has waited for this moment for years and now the time has arrived. Law was free. All these years, he had to readjust his plans, find new allies and focus on not killing Luffy for getting him into way too many troubles. Now that he was finally free, there was one thing he longed for. Someone's presence. Yours. It has been almost 6 months since the last time he had seen you and it was under hard circumstances. Both of you have been captured on a deserted island and Law had helped you to escape and bring you back to your island in the sky. During that time, Law fell. In love. Harder than he could have ever imagined. Every time he needed someone, every time he felt empty or depressed, he needed you. To see you, feel you and hear you. But there has never been an option to visit you since beating Doflamingo was his number one priority. Now that he finally had some time to relax with his crew, he decided to turn back around and check on you. There was nothing and no one, who could stop him right now. Not even Bepo, who tried very hard to find out where Law wanted to go and why he wanted to leave on his own.
Bepo was always the curious and very nosy type of being, but whenever Law wouldn't give him a single detail, Bepo knew that something huge was bothering Law. "Please tell me!" "No." "Please, captain!" "I said no." "Please?", Bepo looked at him with his shiny big eyes and Law took a deep breath before he turned away. "No." Bepo broke down into tears, being as overly dramatic as always. "Please, captain! I won't tell anyone! I promise!" "Yeah, like you promised to not tell anyone about the incident last week in the kitchen.", Law sighed annoyed and went to his desk. "Come on, captain.. That was funny. I literally left you alone in the kitchen, while you were making your cereal and I come back 3 minutes later and you set the oven on fire." Bepo tried his best not to laugh again. "Bepo?" "Yes, captain?" "Shut up.", Law looked at him angrily now and wrote something down into his secret black book. Bepo sighed a bit sad and sat down on the couch. His ears leaned down softly and Law had to look up at them. He always felt bad seeing Bepo like this and after a long and deep sigh, Law gave in. "I am going to visit (Y/N).", Law explained grumpily and stood up. "Awwwwww! You trust me, captain!", Bepo's eyes sparkled again and he began clapping his paws in excitement. "Law and (Y/N) - (Y/N) and Law! Law and (Y/N) - (Y/N) and La-" Law didn't want to hear the end of the song, which is why he left as fast as he could. Two days later, Law finally arrived in Skypiea. The rest of the crew spend their free time on an island nearby, while Law was in the sky looking for you. When he arrived at the city, where you would usually work, he felt his heart ache at the sight of the ruins, which were left after a big war. No house was fully standing and barely anyone was on the streets. What was once a lively city, seemed to look like a ghost town now. A few people were looking around, trying to find someone or something. His thoughts were all over the place, scared and shocked about the current situation. "Law? Trafalgar Law?", someone behind him asked. Law turned around and looked at a familiar face. "Hello. You are (Y/N)'s friend, right?" A woman with dark green locks nodded and smiled a bit sad. In this town, every human being had wings on their backs and specific strength, which were non-comparable to those human beings from Law's surface. "You're probably looking for her. She is in the medical building.", the woman explained and pointed into a direction. "It's in the city to the left. We are all recovering there." "What happened here?", Law didn't move away as he tried to understand what could have happened here without the news reporting anything. "Enel, one of the Gods, came back and he was angrier now than before. He expected us to support him for some reason and nobody wanted to join him to look for someone wearing a straw hat.. So he paid us back." It was hard for her to speak but she forced herself to do so and Law appreciated her effort. "Thank you.", was all Law could have said and after respectfully excusing himself with a soft nod, Law went to the city nearby. The medical building was filled with your kind and the doctors had a lot of patients to take care of. It seemed as if it had happened recently, which made Law feel a little guilty. If I would have been here, she wouldn't be laying in this building. "Hey! She needs help as well! Look at her leg and her wing, doc!!", someone screamed from a room right in front of Law. With every step into the direction of your room, Law was able to see more of you. Your body looked very exhausted from a hard fight and you still had dust and blood all over your body. Seeing you like this made Laws heart feel suddenly really heavy in his chest and he was not prepared for this. He could have never imagined seeing you like that. "Law?", you whispered his name and frowned a bit after spotting his initial hat lurking in the entrance. You felt relieved to see him but you couldn't understand why he was here. "(Y/N)! I heard what happened just now.", Law pushed a doctor aside, who tried to
walk past your bed and was furious about how they have left you laying there like this. The blood was already dry on your clothes and stuck to your skin, which could only mean that you've been here since more than a day. "Are you a doctor?", the guy, who was asking for help earlier, looked at Law with concerned eyes. Law just gave him a short look and nodded. He immediately grabbed some supplies and began cleaning and taking care of your wounds. "How long have you been here?" "Two days.", you sighed a bit and couldn't stop looking at him, still not believing that he was there. "Two days.. and your wounds were still untreated.", Law took a deep breath and promised himself to lecture a few doctors afterward. But you were more important now. "Thank you, Law.", you gave him a soft smile, when he looked up to you. A slight blush appeared on his cheeks but he just looked away again, not saying a word. When he made a gesture to tend to your wings, you put your hand onto his and shook your head. "That's not necessary. I am alright." "I have to clean the wound, (Y/N). You can trust me. I won't hurt you.", he reassured you and you had no idea how to respond to that. Now that he helped you to sit up, so he could have a better look at it, Law began to wash away the blood carefully. Your heart began to beat really fast and you pressed your lips together to avoid making him hear how intense this felt. Every touch, as soft as he tried to make it feel, tickled your nerves in a way you've never felt before. Law felt that something was off and he feared that the side of the wing might have been damaged. "(Y/N) does it hurt that bad?", he walked around the bed to have a better look at you and frowned when he saw your red cheeks. "N-no.. it doesn't.. hurt.", you looked down at your hands, feeling way too flustered. The man, who was watching you two, slapped Laws arm slightly. "You pervert!! Touching her like that in public! I don't believe that you're a real doctor!" Law looked at him confused and shook his head, not understanding what was going on. When he turned back to you again, seeing how even your ears turned red and how your breath has fastened a little, he finally understood. "Oh.. (Y/N), I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to help.", he swallowed hard, his chest burning from the struggle of trying to help you but not knowing your species well enough. "Don't worry, Law. I trust you. Just.. maybe.. you should leave the wings out.", you whispered a little embarrassed. Law thought about it and stepped closer to you, pulling your chin up carefully with his thumb and index finger. "Or I could clean them in a private room..", he smiled a bit cheeky and motioned his room ability with his other hand. You looked into his eyes, seeing some sort of interest and excitement awaken in them. "Shambles!"
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pxnk-velvet · 3 years
Note
hiii i was wondering if we could get a part 2 to just a friend :)
JUST A FRIEND PT. 2
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Shikamaru Nara x Fem!Reader
Summary: After an argument about a certain wedding guest, Shikamaru and Y/n are able to work things out just in time.
Warnings: angst, fluff
As requested by many people, here it is! Part 1 is right here!
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24 hours.
24 hours until they both say their vows to stay with one another til death do them part.
24 hours until they are bound to each other in matrimony.
24 hours left for Shikamaru to fix the broken bond between him and the woman he loved with every fiber of his being.
24 hours left for Y/n to get her priorities straight and make compromise with the man she was going to be spending the rest of her life with.
“Y/n, what are you going to do?” Ino questioned, wrapping up a bouquet of flowers and handing over the counter to the customer.
Y/n leaned against the counter next to her friend, playing with a single rose in her hands. Twirling the flower in between her fingers. Switching between caressing the petals and thrones every so often. Savoring the contrast in texture under her fingertips.
Almost mimicking the situation she had found herself in. Of course she wanted to be a supportive partner and not get in the way of Shikamaru and his own dreams and friendships. But deep down she couldn’t help but let her mind conjure up the worst thoughts. She had seen relationships like that crash and burn to the ground.
Y/n didn’t want that. She didn’t want everything to end in shambles. All she wanted was to be happy without fear.
“I want to marry him, Ino,” Y/n sighed, “You know I do....but I just can’t allow myself to be hurt again. I don’t want to come off as rude but at the same time I want to show that I stand up for myself. I’m just preparing for what could be the worst.”
Ino perked, hummed in agreement, then lifted her apron over her head and left briefly to hang it up in the back.
“Come on. Let’s grab something to eat.” She suggested, taking Y/n’s hand and dragging her out the door.
Little did she know Ino and Choji had been plotting their friends make up. They had seen Y/n and Shikamaru’s relationship bloom before their eyes. Never in a million years would they ever let it die over something as mindless as this. If there was one thing Ino and Choji could agree on, it would be that they both wanted to see their dearest friends happy together.
“Ow, Ino,” Y/n cried, resisting against the grip Ino had on her arm, “You’re pulling too hard.”
“Sorry, sorry.” Ino apologized, coming to a stop right outside the barbecue restaurant. The one they had eaten at so many times before. The one Shikamaru took Y/n on their first official date.
“We’re here!” Ino chirped, scurrying behind Y/n and pushing her forward, “Oh! Look who’s here!”
Y/n groaned at her friend’s childish antics, eyes falling upon the table in front of her.
“If it isn’t our dear friend Choji! And your soon to be husband Shikamaru!” Ino gushed, shoving Y/n to sit on the opposite side of the booth. Sitting down beside her, across from Choji.
“What a drag.” Shikamaru huffed, leaning on the table with his head in his hand.
“Listen guys. We’re adults now, there’s no need for these kid games. We’ll talk when we’re ready.” Y/n explained, pushing Ino to scoot out of the booth.
“No! We’re not letting you leave this building until you two make up. Your wedding is tomorrow!” Choji wailed, arms moving wildly as he spoke.
“Fine! Could you at least give us some privacy?” Y/n barked, a demanding look in her eye. Shortly after Ino and Choji went off elsewhere to give the couple their space.
With that space also came silence. For a long time. The only time it was broken was when the waiter came up to ask them if they’d like to order. To which the two just order something to drink. A few moments later the waiter dropped off the drinks and quickly left the awkward booth.
“This is such a drag.” Shikamaru finally spoke as Y/n took a sip from her cup.
She sighed, resting her chin in her hand, “Tell me about it...”
For a split second the two caught each other’s eye. Not before quickly breaking it and turning away. A light dusting of blush both evident on their cheeks. This far into the relationship and they were both still easily flustered by something so simple.
“Look, I’m so-“
“I didn’t mea-“
The blush on their cheeks deepened at the mishap, Y/n pushing it aside and taking matters into her own hands. She gingerly placed her balled fists flat on the table top, breathing deeply to prepare herself. Shikamaru watched her with worrying eyes, scared for what was going to happen next. It was going to determine the outcome of their relationship for sure. A thought out decision being said in seconds.
“Shikamaru....” Y/n began, “ You know I love you. I wouldn’t have put this ring on my finger in the first place if I hadn’t.” She chuckled lowly, peering down at the ring sitting nicely on her finger.
After their arguement, Shikamaru left it sitting on her bedside table. To which after a couple days of starring at it, Y/n slipped it back on. She hated the bare feeling of not having it on, even despite her own outburst. When Shikamaru had noticed it’s absence, a weight was lifted off his shoulder. It was like a small reassurance that there was still a chance of her staying.
“But I said what I said to protect myself. And I know I shouldn’t have been so harsh about it but I’ve seen how things like this turn out. I don’t want that to happen to me again. I- I just-....I’m sorry.” Her gaze was now focused on her hands. Playing with the ring on her finger, fidgeting with it, twirling it around. Blinking every so often to suppress the tears that threatened to spill.
Shikamaru noticed the way her water line filled. His heart aching at the sight. When she looked up, eyes glassy and wide, he nearly shattered. He couldn’t bare the thought that he was the reason she was in pieces right now. If only he had been more careful with her. He should’ve known considering how well he knew Y/n, her past, and her worries. Instead he was selfish and lashed out on her. He let his mind get the best of him.
“No, Y/n. It’s my fault. I should’ve been more considerate. It’s like you said and I understand now. I would’ve been just as upset, maybe even a little more. But I’m sorry. I know better than to say things like that.” Shikamaru reached over the table, taking her hands and giving then a gentle squeeze. Letting her know that he understood and wasn’t just saying it.
“So...” He ran his thumb over her knuckles, pausing to pay extra attention to the ring, “Will you marry me?.....Again?”
The charming grin he gave her sent her over the moon. The smile that made her head dizzy from the very beginning. She returned it as best as she could, wiping away the tears that had fallen, answering with a simple yet truthful, “Of course.”
“Why don’t we ditch this place and head home.” Shikamaru suggested, sliding out from the booth, holding out a hand to his soon to be wife.
She giggled, taking his offering, “I thought you’d never ask.”
They walked out the establishment, Shikamaru’s arm around Y/n’s shoulders. Hers clinging to his midsection as they strolled through the streets. The only thing on their minds were each other and their future.
This wedding is happening.
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jekde04 · 3 years
Text
There’s Something About Juvia
For Gruvia Week 2021: Day 1 - Beguile
Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4
Pairing: Gruvia (Gray Fullbuster & Juvia Lockser)
Fandom: Fairy Tail
Genre: Romance/Humor/Friendship
Word Count: 1,562 words
Summary: His memories were still hazy at best, but Gray swore that damn potion did something weird to him. (Based on the aftermath of Episode 50, "Special Request: Watch Out for the Guy You Like!")
You may also read it on FanFiction.net and AO3! Check out my master list for other Gruvia fics.
Seriously, what did that woman do to him?
His memories of the incident were still hazy at best, only pieced together by bits and pieces he heard from his guildmates.
Apparently, Juvia unwittingly used a potion that made rivals out of each other. He ended up facing off with Happy of all people – err, cats. That probably explained why he kept seeing different versions of a terrified Happy in his mind.
But what he didn't understand was while everyone else stayed inside the guildhall (hence its dilapidated state), he ended up all the way to Galuna Island, where he finally came to his senses.
Just what the hell happened to him?
The door to Master Makarov's office closed with a thud, and Gray watched Juvia as she made her way to one of the guild's tables, eyes guilt-ridden and downcast. It didn't seem that bad, though, as he saw the Master wave her off with a grin on his face as if he were more amused than mortified of the whole situation. That was a big deal, considering that any form of guild renovation angers the tight-pursed old man.
And he wasn't the only one who seemed to be uncharacteristically taking things in stride. He watched Cana as she sat beside the water mage, draping an arm over her shoulders (the other wrapped around a keg, what else?) and whispering something that made the blunette turn bright pink. On Juvia's other side sat Erza, who pressed the timid girl close to her breastplate in what appeared to be a bone-crushing hug.
Gray scoffed at the unfairness of it all. If it were him or Natsu who destroyed the guild, Erza wouldn't be that merciful. He shivered as he imagined all the scary things she would've done to them.
But everything was back to normal now – all the damages repaired and the effects of that damn potion having worn off. At least, for most of them.
Gray couldn't say the same thing for himself because truth be told, there was a funny feeling at the pit of his stomach that would show up now and then. Though he didn't remember much about what happened, that feeling often surfaced with the memory of floating in the warm sea, the rays of the sun hitting his face...
... and a blushing Juvia cradling him in her arms, a soft, almost loving look shining in her dark blue eyes.
The thought of it made blood rush to his cheeks. If he didn't know any better...
Something clicked in his mind.
A love potion.
But no, she wouldn't dare.
... Would she?
Gray sighed audibly, raking his hands over his face. Ever so slightly, he snuck a peek at Juvia and saw her still uncomfortably sandwiched between Cana and Erza, both of whom looked to be teasing her about something.
Sure, she hung out with him a lot, but it was no big deal. She was still quite new to the guild, and he was one of the first ones she met, though the circumstances could have been better. Still, he was probably one of the few people she easily grew accustomed to, as he had gone with her on missions until she got used to being part of Fairy Tail.
In other words, they were friends. And friends did not give love potions to each other. Besides, why would he be the only one affected when almost the entire guild took that potion?
He dismissed the ridiculous thought.
Gray hadn't realized he had been staring at Juvia for quite a while until she looked up and locked eyes with him. He quickly looked away, but the sight of those big doe eyes brought back a rush of fragmented memories that made something in his chest flutter.
Juvia holding him in her arms. Juvia looking affectionately at him. Juvia's voice calling his name.
Really, what the hell was wrong with him?
"Gray-sama?"
He was so distracted that he hadn't noticed Juvia come up to him. She seemed to be a little on edge, her hands clasped tightly in front of her and her eyes looking everywhere but him.
But if there were anyone who could finally answer all those goddamn questions running through his mind, it would be her.
Gray cleared his throat. "Hey, Juvia. That was some wild potion stuff you did, huh," he said, followed by a tiny smirk.
It was meant to be a joke, but the way Juvia flinched as if burned made him immediately regret what he said. Honestly, he was just trying to make small talk! He really had a knack for making things awkward.
He was about to say sorry when Juvia beat him to it. "Juvia's sorry, Gray-sama! She didn't mean to cause so much trouble. She didn't know it would affect everyone that way!"
Her eyes started to water, and Gray felt panic rising in his throat. He could not deal with crying girls, let alone Juvia, who had the ability to flood the guild with her tears.
He quickly shook his head and said, "Hey now, don't worry about it! Worse things have happened here. And no one's blaming you for anything, see?" He gestured towards their guildmates, each one minding their own business as if the guild were not in total shambles just the day before.
Juvia looked around her, then returned her eyes to him. She didn't seem pacified at all. "But you're not mad at Juvia, are you?"
Gray's lips curved into a tiny smile. "Why would I be mad?" It amused him how Juvia looked more concerned about his opinion than the rest of their guildmates. It even filled him with a certain pride that she would have such high regard for his feelings.
Plus, she really looked cute with that bit of crease on her brow and that tiny tremble on her lips.
Wait, what?
Gray narrowed his eyes. "Unless... you did something different with me?" After all, he still didn't have the tiniest idea how he ended up on an island, for goodness' sake.
Juvia looked taken aback. A blush bloomed on her pale cheeks as she started to fiddle with the hem of her top. "Umm, well, Juvia... sort of made you drink the whole potion."
"What?!" Gray asked incredulously. Well, that definitely answered how he made it to Galuna Island. And why he kept on seeing the image of Juvia holding him in her arms. "But why did you do that?"
Juvia quickly turned as red as a tomato. "U-uh... Ju-Juvia... Uhm..."
Suddenly, it all made sense. Why Juvia was always so shy around him. Why she spent a lot of time with him. Why she always invited him on missions. And why she made him gulp a whole potion and not someone else.
A smirk crossed his face. "Oh, I know now."
"Y-you do?" He didn't know it was possible, but Juvia's face got even redder. He was definitely spot on.
"It's because..."
Juvia gulped.
"... you want me to be your rival! Right, Juvia?"
He grinned at her. Juvia might look sweet and innocent, but he would never forget the fact that behind that timid exterior lies a badass mage. Not only had he struggled to battle against her before, but he also fought beside her several times during missions, giving him a pretty good idea of how strong and awesome she really was. He felt a sense of pride swell within him that such a powerful and accomplished mage would choose him to be her rival.
"Err... does Gray-sama want Juvia to be her rival?" she asked him. He chuckled at how she looked so unsure of herself.
Gray was about to answer, "Of course!" but stopped himself. Yes, he was honored that Juvia wanted him to be her rival, but...
"Well, I was thinking more of partners, you know," Gray started. "Don't get me wrong, Juvia. I think you'd be a great rival, but our powers are so alike, so it might be a better idea if we team up instead of –"
Gray wasn't able to finish what he was saying as an ecstatic Juvia suddenly lunged at him and wrapped her arms around his torso. He froze at the sudden contact as he was not expecting such a reaction from her.
Juvia looked up at him and asked, "Gray-sama really wants Juvia to be his partner?" Her eyes were so bright, it looked like a ray of sunlight cracking open a piece of blue sky.
That funny feeling stirred in his stomach again.
"Why not?"
Juvia let out a squeal, hugging him tighter. He wondered how this sometimes shy, always excitable girl could be the same gloomy rain woman he first met months ago. Though he didn't have anything against the past Juvia, he decided that he liked this version better.
Even if she was squeezing the heck out of him.
"Uh, Juvia, could you –?" he asked as he tried to push her away. She relented, smoothed her dress over, and gave him a sweet, loving smile.
There goes that weird, fluttery feeling again.
At that moment, Gray concluded two things: One, that those odd stirrings were probably due to his potion overdose. And two, that they were going to fade over time.
He had never been so wrong in his life.
A/N: I entered the Gruvia fandom during the 100YQ, so it’s challenging to write Gray not yet having strong feelings for Juvia. But their wild ride from enemies to lovers is what endeared me to them the most, so hopefully I get more inspiration to write fics encapsulating their journey. I hope I somehow captured their early friendship here (and Juvia’s little crush on Gray, obvious to everyone except him, lol).
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Take My Hand (Part Six)
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Summary: rafael returns and things only get more complicated as the Davis case begins
Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Reader, Rafael Barba x Reader
Word Count: 8,240
Song: There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me / But if it's all the same to you / It's the same to me (coney island by taylor swift)
Warnings: T, swearing, the angst is back, lot of soft parts, but a lot of difficult emotions to detangle, “sightless in a savage land” (22x04) is used as background (but i also f*cked with the timeline to make things easier for me), also the v*rus doesn’t exist b/c i don’t want to live in reality.
A/N: ok, things are happening, and i want to saw those of you who spot all the little parallels w/i the fic i love you. thank you to those who have stuck with the series and have reblogged and commented!! as always, thank you to @laneygthememequeen​ and @bucky-of-the-opera​ for being the best beta readers!! 
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You would be lying if you said you didn’t imagine this moment. 
The moment you saw Rafael again. It was a thought that haunted the recesses of your mind — stuffed away with all memories of him — one that wriggled to the forefront when your thoughts had quelled in the silence and stillness. And you wondered what he would say. And what you would say. 
And now you didn’t have to wonder. 
"What are you—" the question deflates on your lips — stupid question —  so you ask another, "when did you get back?" 
"A few days ago," Rafael jerks his head to pull you aside, an easy smile on his lips, too easy. It wasn't easy when you both started dating. It wasn't easy when you left. It wasn't easy when he proposed. And it wasn't easy to say no.  Nothing was easy when it came to this. But there he was, "my mother is moving down to Florida." 
You raise your eyebrows, "Finally retiring? Did you have to pry the keys of her charter school out of her fingers?" 
He gives a wry smile, "No, but helping her find a replacement and helping her pick out a place down there made it easier. That and promising to help her move." 
"You're a good son," he was good — a good son, a good friend, a good prosecutor— 
But he wasn’t good for you. 
"Well I am a man of many talents," he crosses his arms, “with a few notable exceptions.” 
And you know where this is going — to a place you don’t want it to. 
He opens his mouth to speak again, but you cut him off, “Are you representing Davis?” 
The words stuck in his throat, his mouth opening and closing, before he swallows them, “I am,” 
“I didn’t know you did defense work,” 
He tilts his head, “Well, there’s a first time for everything, isn’t there? I assume you’re here because Noble-Gordon wants the case?” 
You raise an eyebrow, “Keeping tabs on me?” 
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” the teasing is so routine — the banter clicks into place — picking up right where you both left off, smoothing over broken hearts and hurt feelings. Hiding behind quick witted barbs because it was easier than untangling ensnared feelings. 
“Rafael—” 
“I met with Jack,” he admits, holding his hands up, “I asked about you. Can you blame me for being curious?” 
No. No, you couldn’t — not when you had asked Jack about him. 
“I can try,” you want to bite the inside of your cheek when he smirks, “why do you want this case?” 
“Off the record? Liv and Fin,” he slides his hands inside his pocket, “I suspect they didn’t know your firm would want the case for themselves, but,” he adds, “there’s a way this could work for both of us.” 
“How?” 
“How about a partnership?” 
“A partnership?” 
“Your firm gets their name on the case, and I need financial support,” and you furrow your brow, “but I have some terms.” 
“Of course you would,” you sigh, “what are they?” 
“One, I do the actual defense work in court, two, your firm’s involvement is limited to only a few employees — I don’t want your partners’ politics to be running the case — and three, you’re on the case with me,” and you raise your eyebrows, “before you say no—” 
“Before I say no?” you repeat, “Rafael with everything that happened—” 
“Before anything happened, we worked cases together, and even after everything happened, we did,” he shifts from foot to foot, “we know how the other works, we know our strengths and weaknesses, and I need someone I trust to work this case on — so I can walk into that courtroom for the first time since—” he sighs, biting his lip before speaking again, softer, “I want your help, and I know I have no right to ask for it, but I am. And that term is negotiable, but I’m pretty sure your firm will agree. You’re the best person to work this case.” 
“But—” 
“And before you ask,” he says, gaze soft, “this isn’t a ploy to win you back.” 
You blink,  “I know,” 
Did you? You wished you could tell your heart because now it’s thumping against your ribcage, “I know I missed my chance, and I don’t want to cross any boundaries,” he reassures you, “this will be professional.” 
“‘Professional,’” you repeat, the taste of the word disconcerting with just how unprofessional this felt, “Rafael—” 
“Just think about it,” he tilts his head, “meet with Davis — trust me, he needs our help,” and then he pauses, “and you know that we’ll be facing—” 
“I know Sonny is the A.D.A. on the case,” and he’s also my boyfriend. The words want to leave your tongue, but the sheer awkwardness is as disconcerting as working with Rafael — “Look—” 
“Don’t give me an answer yet, just talk to your firm,” he checks his watch, “I have to go, but I’ll email you.” 
“And where’d you get my email?” he shrugs. 
“You can blame your firm for that one — firm’s website lists you,” and he begins to walk past you before pausing to look back, “it was nice to see you...counselor.” 
How was it that he walked into your life as easily as you had left his? How was it that you wanted to hate him, but it was so easy to like him? How was it that everything was so easy — when it was him? 
“It was nice to see you too,” and you spared one last glance at his retreating back, as the guard buzzed you in. 
And that wouldn’t be the last time you’d see him. 
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Sonny was beginning to doubt any of this would ever get easier. Checking his watch, it was well past 3:00 PM and he hadn’t even eaten yet — typical. He spares a glance at the whiteboard —  littered with schedules, case numbers, and statuses of cases. 
But there was still so much to do. 
He checks his phone — you had texted him, the messages bunched together, but his eyes fall back to the files stacked on the conference table. He begins placing them in a case box. It would have to wait.
“Carisi?” and he pauses at a voice — a voice he hadn’t heard in quite a while. He’s grizzled — different from the clean cut A.D.A. he once was, but he’s also lighter — again, different from the broken man who left his city with his reputation in shambles. 
His words, not Sonny’s.
But now Sonny knows, knows that he wasn’t only broken because of the case, of having to leave his city, but because of you — the you that Barba had been with for years, the you whose heart he broke, the you who said no when he proposed. 
And now you were dating Sonny. 
Him, not Barba.
He stands in his doorway, “How’s the eighth floor treating you?” 
But this was the same man that was his mentor, his friend — so he smiles. 
“No differently than any other junior A.D.A.,” and Rafael gives a knowing smile, as Sonny continues to put away the files. 
“They want you to cover their ass all the time? Never lose a case?” he knew it well — because he had lived it. 
“Pretty much,” Barba crosses his arms, as Sonny grabs the box and brushes past him, “it’s good to see you, Barba. If you came to taunt me, I got all day.” 
And it was good to see him — why wouldn’t it be? He would be lying if he didn’t wish before that Rafael was his boss instead — it would have been easier if nothing else. But not now. 
“Huh, they gave you an office,” Barba remarks, glancing around his shoebox of an office, peering out his window to look at the paralegals at their desks, “nice view.” 
Sonny places the box down, snorting, “I had to move the xerox machine and four filing cabinets just to get the desk in,” and then move them back. It wasn’t much — but it took him this long to get it — glorified closet or not, it was his. 
“So you caught the Mickey Davis case?” He’s standing by the window, and Sonny sighs — the case had been all over the news, the media were having a field day, and so were his bosses upstairs. These were different times — and this was a dangerous case — vigilantism wasn’t something to be taken lightly. But it wasn’t something that was simple — not in this case. 
“Oh, yeah,” Sonny sighs, leaning against his desk, “horror story.” 
“What are you charging?”
Sonny almost scoffs, “The guy brought a gun to court, he followed the vic to transport, and shot him at point-blank range. What do you think?” 
“I think the guy's got a Purple Heart, titanium leg, and PTS,” Sonny blinks — what was this?
“That doesn’t change what he did,” Sonny says slowly — Barba knew that — killing is still killing, no matter how justified it may seem. 
He said it himself best — otherwise we might as well let the blood flow in the streets. 
“He was betrayed by the V.A. and A.C.S., even the eighth floor has to know this is a dog,” Barba says, stepping forward, a ghost of a chuckle on his lips. 
“Maybe,” Sonny admits, “but they still want him to do time.” 
“That has to be negotiable,” and that’s when it clicks. 
Sonny pauses, his mouth parted, as Barba meets his gaze, “Hold on,” he says slowly, “before we continue—” 
“Mm-hmm,” 
“Are you representing Mickey Davis?” And it’s Barba’s turn to pause, and he’s searching Sonny’s gaze — and he doesn’t know for what. 
“I am,” 
Sonny scoffs — that would have been nice to know from the start, “Okay,” Sonny gets to his feet, shutting his door and rounding the table to sit behind his desk — time to get down to business, “What kind of deal are you looking for?” 
“No way you want to put this guy on trial,” 
“Three and half years? No, but thank you,” Barba sits across from him, and Sonny knows he’s playing hard ball — he always played hard ball, but this time, they weren’t on the same team. 
“Barba, we both know this wasn’t heat of the moment,” 
“Maybe to you, not to Mr. Davis,” 
Sonny raises an eyebrow, there was defending your client and then there was plain hubris,“There's security cam video. There's multiple eyewitnesses. Mickey broke the law—” 
“A jury might see that as defending his daughter when no one else did,” Sonny narrows his eyes — jury nullification — did he get that strategy from Calhoun or Buchanan? 
“Get the jury to ignore the law?” Sonny knew he wouldn’t make easy on him  “That's a slippery slope, Rafael.” 
He smiles, he’s almost proud, “You really have become a lawyer,” 
Sonny wrinkles his brow, “What does that mean?” 
“Mickey Davis is a human being. So are the jurors,” Rafael rises to his feet, as Sonny calls after him. 
“You going for insanity?” He half-expects him not to answer — that would be the smart thing to do — but Rafael’s pride always trumped any strategy. 
“I'm going for straight-up not guilty,” Rafael opens the door, turning, “and my co-counsel may be in touch as well.” 
“Co-counsel?” Sonny leans back in his seat — he didn’t know Barba needed a second chair, “who’s that?” 
And your name leaves his lips, “Excuse me?” 
“Looks like you’ll be facing both of your mentors, Carisi,” and he knew that Rafael hadn’t seen the picture of you on his desk — “I’ll make sure to relay the offer as well. See you at arraignment.” 
Sonny stares at the closed door, before his phone vibrates again, and he glances to see another text message from you: Hey, checking in on you. Can I drop by? 
And Sonny knows, he knows you would never cheat. He knew this doesn’t change the year you had spent together, he knew it doesn’t change that you loved him, he knew it didn’t change anything, but — another text comes through: I miss you — it was complicated. 
Not right now. Busy. 
And he sighs, but it also didn’t change how he felt about you. 
I miss you too. 
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The lights in the D.A.’s office had long ago dimmed — the barely lit fluorescents flickering as you passed the empty line of desks before finally reaching it. You knock at his office door, leaning against the doorframe, watching him work, his brow furrowed in thought, pen flicking as he scribbled notes. 
“You forget about me?” Sonny barely looks up from his work, tight lipped, and your smile begins to slide off your lips, “Sonny?” 
“Sorry, got caught up in work,” he leans back in his chair, just as you step forward, “what time is it?” 
“Way past dinner,” you round his desk, leaning against it as you tilt your head, “you okay?” 
You reach for him, but he moves away, crossing his arms, “Barba dropped by,” and his eyes fall on you — and you wonder if this was what it felt like to be interrogated — the pages of the book snapped shut, his cards resting against the table, and his face blank, “He wanted to discuss the Davis case—” 
Your heart drops, “Sonny—” 
“—and apparently you’re his co-counsel?” he shakes his head, sighing, his eyes falling to his desk, “When were you going to tell me that you met with Barba?”
You frown, “I wanted to tell you, I was going to tell you before I went to meet him — but I couldn’t reach you. You know my partners wanted to score some points—” 
“Because of the Thompson case, I know—” but his brow is still furrowed, “but how did you end up calling point on the case?” 
“I had to meet with Davis to discuss the details of the case,” you explain how your partners were too busy to go down and handle it nor did they trust any of the associates to do it, “we need this case — it’s a high profile case involving a vet? We had to jump on it, but when I got to Rikers, it turned out someone else got the jump on it first.” 
He scoffs, “Barba,” 
“He had already met with Davis, he offered to work in partnership with my firm, granted I handle the case and he gets to be in the courtroom,” and Sonny raises his eyebrows. 
“He asked for you specifically to work the case with him?” 
“Because he knows how I work,” your hand reaches for him slowly, “nothing more than that. Sonny, please don’t be mad — it was a coincidence.” 
“I’m not mad,” he sighs, eyes finally meeting yours, his fingers intertwining with yours, “Would have been nice to know you two decided to work the case together,” 
“I was going to tell you — I was just about to—” 
“I know,” and he’s pulling you into his lap, “Just don’t let me find out you’re working with your ex from your ex,” 
“I won’t,” you whisper, pressing your lips to him softly, “I promise. I didn’t mean for this—” 
“I know,” he kisses you again, his arms wrapping around your middle, “what about us?” 
Your lips purse, “What about us?” 
“Our relationship — will we have to disclose?” it hadn’t been a problem since the cases you handled fell out of Sonny’s jurisdiction most times and when it didn’t, you delegated the work to someone else, “it seems like professional responsibility 101,” 
“Well, I already told Mr. Davis, I got his written consent in writing when I met with him, just in case I end up handling the case,” you bite your lip, “as for the judge, it shouldn’t be a problem as long as we have the consent of my client.” 
Your hand runs over his cheek, and he turns his head to press a kiss to your palm, “Are you going to work the case?” 
“I have to talk to my firm, see what everyone wants to do,” your fingers run over his face, “but if they do want me to handle the case, are you okay with that?” 
“You know I can’t make that call for you,” his hand rests on the small of your back, “it’s yours to make, sweetheart.” 
“But I don’t want to make it without knowing you’re okay with me working with him—” you lean down to press a kiss to his temple, “are you okay with it?” 
“I am,” he says softly, “are you?” 
“The firm needs the case — and this could be my shot at making partner,” his lips press butterfly kisses to your neck, and you sigh, “I don’t know what to do.” 
“Sleep on it?” he murmurs against his skin, “always how the best decisions are made.” 
“Says who?” 
“Me,” he replies. 
And you chuckle, noses brushing, as you lean closer, “As long it’s from a reliable source,” and your lips meet again, he pulls away, but you give chase, until you’re pressing him into the seat, fingers sliding along his shoulders, your hand finding the back of his neck, swallowing his moan with ease. 
“Doll,” his lips are kiss ruined, eyes fluttering, and you trail kisses along his jaw, “you’ll be the end of me,” 
And the double meaning isn’t lost on you —  “I would be happy to end with you,” 
He smiles, and it’s enough. For now. You rest your forehead against his for a moment in the relative silence, only broken by the hum of the fluorescents and the quiet sound of your breathing. 
Until his stomach growls. 
And you blink, a grin breaking across your lips, “Hungry?”
“It depends,” and you slide off his lap, offering your hand to him, and he cocks his head, “did you cook?” 
You huff at him, “You’ll be glad to know I ordered takeout right before I got here,” and he gets to his feet, taking your hand, “but just for that, I’m cooking for the next week.” 
“Oh, we’ll see about that,” he wraps his arm around you, grabbing his bag, before flicking off the light. 
And after you got back to the apartment, eating dinner, and slipping into bed, you lied awake, his quiet snores filling your ears, and you turned to look at him — barely illuminated in the moonlight that peeked through the parted shutters. His eyes shut, his breathing steady, his freshly washed hair falling against his forehead. 
You turn away, reaching for your phone — finding the email from Rafael, disclosing the details of the case — a question ending the email: Are you in? 
And you glance back at Sonny — only you didn’t know the answer. 
He was okay with you taking the case, right? You scoot a little closer, nestling yourself beside him a moment, he said he was okay with it. 
You shut your eyes. He was okay, and you would be okay. 
Right?
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“Wow, this is a nice upgrade from your office at the D.A.’s,” Rafael remarks at your office door, taking a moment to examine the room.
You barely look up from your work — a dozen cases, associates’ work to check, and several arraignments to do, “That’s because someone took the only nice office, and stuck me in a closet off of yours,” 
“Bureaucracy at work,” he replies, shutting your door and taking stock, “how’s defense work treating you?” 
“The same way it has been I left the D.A.’s office,” you spare a small smile, “wonderfully.” 
“Found your calling?” you shrug. 
“You could say that,” you sigh, placing your pen down, “what about you?” 
“What about me?” he raises an eyebrow, and you roll your eyes. Always had to work for it when it came to Rafael Barba. 
“What have you been up to?” 
“Looking something I lost a few years ago,” and you furrow your brow, and he smiles, “don’t flatter yourself, counselor — I meant a calling,” 
Your cheeks burn, “You came to talk arraignment? Thought you could handle that yourself, Mr. Innocence Project,” 
“I wanted to talk deal,” Rafael crossed his arms, “there was one thing I didn’t disclose to you in that email and that’s my meeting with Carisi,” and you blink, only you knew about that already, “I met with him yesterday — he offered man 2.” 
Sonny didn’t mention that, but then again it was better that he didn’t, “But you don’t want to take it?” 
“I don’t,” he slides into a chair, pulling a legal pad out, leg folded over his knee, “I think we can do better — I think we can get not guilty.” 
You raise your brow, “Do you want to—” 
“I want to go for jury nullification,” he crosses his arms, shrugging, “we have a strong case for it.”
“And we have a man who literally shot another point blank on security footage, and who brought a gun with him to court,” you shake your head, “we have to at least consider it,” 
“What’s there to consider? Mr. Davis doesn’t want to take the deal,” and you pause, and Rafael nearly wavers, adding, “I may have discussed it with him—” 
“Before asking me about it?” 
“You only told me this morning you were on board,” Rafael holds up his hands, “I had a duty to relay it to him,” 
“And what did he say?” 
“He said he didn’t want to deal — he wanted his day in court,” he tilts his head. 
“Did he? Or did you?” 
“What are you implying?” 
“Did he come to this conclusion on his own or did you help him along?” and he pauses — all the answer you needed, “Rafael, this is our client, we have to be realistic—” 
“He’s a vet with—” 
“Awards and a prosthetic leg I know, but he also could go to jail for murder — and never see his daughter again,” and he opens his mouth to speak, “so I’m asking you, are you taking this to trial for him or for you?” 
His lips are a thin line, “First of all, this is for him — I wouldn’t take this trial if I didn’t think there wasn’t a good chance of winning and if I knew this wasn’t what he wanted,” and he sits up, “and what about you?” 
“What about me?” 
“Your firm probably wants this to go to trial — need the publicity of a trial for this to work — for you to get the break you need, isn’t it?” Rafael argues the same way he does in court — his words pointed and true, aimed for the chinks in someone’s armor, “sounds like we’re on the same page.” 
You glare at him, “Don’t question my motives,” 
“Then don’t question mine,” the words are terse, a period at the end of a paragraph that is still left hanging, until he chooses to start a new one, “Is this about the case? Or is this about us?” 
You scoff, “So much for keeping it professional,” 
Your name leaves his mouth soft, but firm, and your eyes meet his, “Is it going to be like this?” he asks, crossing his arms, “throughout the entire trial?” 
“Like what?” 
And he sighs, running a hand over his bristled chin, “I know I’ve made mistakes, I know, you know, but I can’t change what I’ve done,” his voice grows soft, “and I’m sorry, I wish I could — I wish I didn’t hurt you, but I did, and I take responsibility for that,” your gaze falls and he continues, “but if this is too hard, if you don’t want to do this, if you’re still angry, like you have every right to be—” 
“I do,” the words leave your lips, “I do want to work with this case with you — it’s just—” you break off. You had meticulously tucked away any feelings for Rafael Barba away along with any reminder of him, including the man himself. It was easy, it was clearcut, but this wasn’t easy — because now your feelings were leaking, slipping from your careful control, and where there was a leak, there was a flood. And you were bound to get hurt. 
“It’s hard,” he swallows, and you blink. 
“It’s hard for you?” the words leave your lips harshly, and he flinches, “I didn’t mean—” 
“No,” he gives a rueful smile, “I deserved that, after everything I put you through,” he shrugs, pressing his lips together, “I did love you, I did, I was just afraid.” 
“What were you so afraid of?” 
And he shakes his head, “I saw so many relationships fall apart around me — my own, my parents, our cases—” he breaks off, “I didn’t want us to hate each other, I didn’t want to regret you,” a bitter chuckle leaves his lips, “but you ended up regretting me.” 
You frown, “I don’t regret you,” and his brow furrows, “You’re surprised by that?” 
“If I were you...I’d regret me,” and you sigh, hands wringing under your desk. 
“Rafael, I loved you, even though it hurt, I can’t regret that. Do I wish things turned out differently? Maybe, but,” your voice softens, glancing at the picture of Sonny on your desk, and you gesture around you, shrugging, “it also got me to where I am.” 
And you know you should tell him — you should tell him that you’ve moved on, you should tell him that you’re with Sonny, but the words are lodged in the back of your throat, and you can’t bring yourself to say them before he’s already speaking. 
“Well,” he clears his throat, licking his lips, before smiling, “I’m glad, for that much at least,” and he sits back again, “So—” 
“So?” 
“Are we taking this to trial?” and you bite your lip — jury nullification was a risky move — for both the policy ramifications and the risk involved — but, that wasn’t your responsibility anymore, your duty and your only duty is to your client. 
“Are you sure this is what Mr. Davis wants?” and Rafael nods. 
“I would give you his exact words, but there are some obscenities,” and you snort, shaking your head. 
“And you’re sure about putting him on the stand?” 
“Not at all,” he scoffs, “he’s questionable at best, and a loose cannon at worst.” 
You rub your temples, “That’s going to play well during cross,” 
“We’ll prep him well — let’s just get through arraignment,” he sighs, flipping to a fresh page, “Carisi is going to ask for remand, how should we play it?” 
“We ask for R.O.R. — he’s a father of a young girl who was just raped and impregnated, he’s a decorated veteran who needs physical therapy, and he’s not a flight risk.” 
Rafael chuckles, “And when we don’t get it?” 
“Honestly, I’ll take anything over remand,” you pinch the bridge of your nose, “we should schedule a psych eval, start on gathering information on his tours, interview character witnesses and especially those who can testify to what he saw—” your words fall short when you see Rafael is smiling, “what?” 
“Nothing,” he waves you off, pressing the tip of his pen to his lips, “Go on.” 
And you blink, before going on — not noticing the way his smile returned when your eyes fell away. 
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Running late from the office — be there soon. Your text comes in just as Sonny’s food arrives at the table, and he’s about to order for you when a voice draws his attention away. 
“Mr. Carisi,” Sonny’s head snaps up his phone to find Jack McCoy smiling at him, “am I interrupting?” 
His mouth is dry, and he shakes his head, “No, not at all,” he gestures for him to join him, and Jack does, not bothering to look at a menu, “so I suppose this isn’t a social call?” 
“I wanted to ask your progress on the Davis case,” he crosses his arms. 
And he blinks, wondering why he hadn’t bothered to ask whether you had told his boss if a) you two were dating, and b) if he knew you were on this case, “Discovery is ongoing — I’ve handed my materials over per the new discovery rules within 15 days, and now I’m waiting on the defense to turn over their evidence.” 
Jack shakes his head, “New York law catching up with the modern days — a damn fine day for defense attorneys — before we could sandbag the day before, not that I ever did that,” he gives a wry smile, before his eyes fall to Sonny’s phone, vibrating, “you need to get that?” 
“No, sir,” Sonny waves it off, “What’s your interest in the Davis case?” 
“Well, I am your boss, I’m interested in all your cases,” he replies, before smiling, “I did hear who the defense attorneys for the case are.”
And Sonny picks at his food, “Oh?” 
“I am just curious how prepared you are to tackle a case against both of your old mentors,” Jack says, as Sonny chooses then to sip at his drink, “and your partner for that matter.” 
He chokes, “Who—” 
“It was obvious — at least to me,” Jack shrugs, “don’t pretend you haven’t heard the rumors about me,” he adds, furrowing his brow, “one piece of advice, son—” 
“We are planning on disclosing to the judge—” 
“Not that,” he says sharply, “you’ve been good together — the two of you. But it’s easy to let a case get between you,” 
“Is this about Diana Hawthorne?” 
And Jack raises an eyebrow, “Did—” 
“Rumor mill isn’t just about me, sir,” he shrugs, “I heard it a while ago, that case was tough,” 
“Made tougher by our relationship,” he sighs, “I think sometimes if we hadn’t been together, maybe things—” he cuts off, “my point is, you two have done a good job of keeping professional and personal from mixing so far, but when you both start bringing this case home—” 
“We won’t,” Sonny says, and Jack raises an eyebrow, “we won’t.” 
And Jack relaxes, before shoving his hands in his pockets, “How long have you two been—”  
“Over a year now,” Jack smiles softly. 
“Are you both happy?” 
And is he happy? When he’s with you, he feels at peace for once — the world and its horrors slipping away, until he feels nothing but you in his arms. You challenge him to grow — even when he doesn’t want to. And he would do anything for you — he would give you the life you wanted, give the family you want, give you his best — if only he could give you the same peace you give him. 
“We are,” Sonny smiles softly, hand slipping into his pocket, thumbing the ring box in his pocket, “in fact—” 
“Hey,” you arrive, glancing between him and Jack, furrowing your brow — and he knows you hadn’t told Jack, “Jack, Sonny — what a—” 
“Cat’s out of the bag, sweetheart,” Sonny slips his arm around your waist, and you tilt your head, before realization washes over you, relaxing into his touch, “care to join us?” 
“You’ll be joining him,” Jack slips from the booth, “like I said, this wasn’t a social call,” he smiles between the two of you, “we should set up a lunch.” 
“Will do,” you nod, “I’ll call you." 
With a nod, he leaves, and you slip into the booth beside him, "Hi," you kiss him, "menu?" 
"I would have ordered for you, but I got interrupted,” and you bump his shoulder. 
You snort, “I wouldn’t have ordered if my boss was grilling me about my relationship,” 
“You didn’t tell him?
“Should I have?” he’s frowning, and you’re shaking your head, “it’s not that I didn’t want to,” you bite your lip, “sorry, I’m not explaining this well,” you sigh, placing the menu down, “it’s just Jack had me and Rafael figured out from the second we…” 
Sonny is shaking his head, sipping at his drink, “Yeah, well looks like not much has changed,” 
“Well, he didn’t exactly approve of me and Rafael, which is why I was worried what he’d say to you,” you purse your lips, shifting in your seat, “did he say anything?” 
Sonny pauses, “No I don’t think so,” and Sonny’s biting back a smile, remembering Jack’s words — he approved. 
And now you’re bumping his shoulder, “Why so smug, counselor?” 
“No reason,” and you’re stealing one of his fries, “I’m just glad I’m not on his bad side.” 
“No one would want to be,” you say as the waiter comes order, taking your order, as well as the menu from your hand. 
“Did you tell him?” 
“Jack? I just told—”  
“No, I mean,” he licks his lips, “did you tell Rafael that we were dating?” 
And he was hoping he wouldn’t see your brow knit together like that, see your fingers wringing in your lap, “I didn’t,” 
His mouth is dry, and he’s turning his body to face you, “Why?” 
“I didn’t know how to bring it up — to just say, ‘by the way, I’m dating Sonny, just thought you should know,’” and doubt begins to creep in, “we were trying to keep things professional—” 
“I understand,” and your lips are twisting and he knows you don’t believe him — hell, he doesn’t believe him. 
“Do you want me to tell him?” and he doesn’t know what to say — he wants him to know, but why does he want him to know? You weren’t his property — he didn’t own you, he knew you wouldn’t do anything. He trusted you. 
Didn’t he? 
“I’ll tell him, Sonny,” and Sonny’s gaze snaps to you, “he’s picking up files from me at the office, and I’ll let him know—” Sonny opens his mouth, but you cut him off with his lips, “we have to disclose to the judge on Monday anyway before jury selection, it’s necessary.” 
“I don’t want to make you—” 
“I know,” you silence him with another kiss, soft, comforting, and his guilt settles, instead peace seeps in, “I love you.” 
“I love you too,” his heart warms, as the waitress brings over your meal, and Sonny’s check, and he checks his watch, “and I gotta go. See you tonight?” and you shake your head. 
“I got to work late tonight and I have arraignments early in the morning — but I get off early tomorrow and I’ll be waiting to make it up to you,” you kiss him again, before pressing chaste kisses along his jaw. 
“Looking forward to that,” and he wants to ask — ask why you won’t consider moving in, why you brush it off, and the question burns on his lips, until the words are seared into his tongue — but he doesn’t, “call me?” 
“I will,” and he kisses you one last time, before slipping from the booth.
And he wonders, fingers finding the velvet box in his pocket — if you won’t move in with him, will you even marry him?
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Can you do me a favor? Rafael’s text comes in as soon as you’re leaving from court, and you’re sighing at your phone screen. 
And another: Please? 
He really must be desperate. What’s up? 
Can you drop the files off somewhere for me? I can’t make it to your office today — something came up. 
Is something wrong? 
Only with my mother’s cable service — they were supposed to be by today to disconnect the service. 
You snort, Then sue them. 
Civil is not my area of expertise, and then he adds, but I may be willing to learn if they take any longer. Can you please drop the files off? 
You raise an eyebrow — ‘please’ — he really must be desperate. 
You bite your lip — you wanted to get home early, but you also needed to tell Rafael about you and Sonny. You glance at the time, sighing, before replying to him. 
I’ll drop by with the files — text me the address now. 
A tax ride later — you had arrived at a place you thought you would never be again. You couldn’t but stare at the door of Lucia’s place. You had been here five years ago — first and last time you had met his mother. And it was the first time you had realized you had to break up with Rafael. 
It was over the moment you left here — even though neither of you wanted to admit it. His kisses could no longer patch your heart because it was no longer cracked — it was broken. 
But it didn’t make it any easier to leave him. 
You shake yourself from your thoughts, knocking on the door — but you had. 
And so did he. 
You hear his voice from within the apartment — a muffled coming — and some stumbling, until finally you hear the telltale sounds of the chain, bolt, and locks. 
He opens the door, wiping his face with a towel — and he’s clean shaven. And you blink — he smiles at you, the very same smile he always gave you, “You shaved,” 
“And you’re observant,” and he finds you staring at him, “Does it look bad?” 
“No, no,” he steps aside, letting you inside the apartment, before shutting the door and locking it, “you look good.” 
And his lips are curving in a grin now, “I look good?” 
Your cheeks burn — always a dog with a bone, “Don’t push your luck, Barba,” 
“Ouch,” he snorts, “you used to be much more accommodating to my self-esteem.” 
“That was when I worked with you,” you cross your arms, taking a survey of the apartment — more boxes than apartment at this point, you could barely take a step before tripping, “men work better with their ego stroked,” You find your way to the kitchen table — his makeshift office from the looks of it — complete with two cups of coffee, “Old habits die hard, huh?” 
“They often do,” he sips at the coffee, holding it by the rim with the tips of his fingers, “everyone is allowed to have their vices.” 
“And here is your other one—” you pull the files from your bag, “I brought everything you asked for — you should be well prepped for jury selection.” 
He nods, flipping through the materials, “You’ll be there right?” 
“Of course,” you blink, “any reason you ask?” 
“I may run a little late on Monday, but it shouldn’t be an issue—” Rafael waves it off, before setting it down, “can I make you a cup of coffee to thank you?” 
You offer a small smile, “No, I probably should get home, but I’ll see you on Monday,” and you swallow your nerves, squeezing the handle of your bag, “but there is something I wanted to tell you—” 
And that’s when you hear the lock clicking, “Rafi, how many times have I told you to just leave the door unlocked?” heels clicking against the hardwood, arms full of bags. Rafael slips from his chair, rounding the kitchen table. 
“And how many times have I told you that’s not safe?” he replies, taking the bags from her arms, and then she spots you, blinking, “Mami, you remember—” 
“Oh!” she walks over, pulling you into a tight hug, “it’s so wonderful to see you again, dear,” 
“Lucia, it’s great to see you too,” you smile, awkwardness smoothed over the warmth of her smile, as her hands found yours, squeezing, “it’s been far too long.” 
“I’ll say,” she shoots a glare at her son, before her eyes find yours and soften again, “I had warned him not to let you get away, and did he listen?” 
Rafael is rubbing his temple, “Mami, please—” 
“Oh,” she looks between the two of you, raising a brow, “if you’re here does that mean—” 
“No,” he clears his throat, the tips of his ears red now, “I told you we’re on this case together. I needed some files dropped off—” 
“You must join us for lunch,” and both you and Rafael open your mouths, “I insist, please. This will be the last time for a while I will be up north for a bit. Let me impose.” 
And your eyes flicker between Rafael and his mother, before Rafael speaks, “We can’t impose on any plans—” 
“I’ll stay,” and his eyes fall on you, as your phone feels heavier in your pocket with guilt — knowing you would be late, “it’s fine, how can I say no?” 
Lucia squeezes your hand. And how could you say no to this? 
After lunch, you’re helping Lucia clean up, when Rafael is in the bathroom, washing the dishes while she dried,  “Are you looking forward to moving down to Florida?” 
“I am, even though I’ll miss my work and my students,” she sighs, her shoulders much lighter, “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life living the same — I want to have time for myself, I want to experience new things, not like my mother,” her voice grows smaller, the plates clinking in the dish rack, “I don’t know how much Rafael told you about her—” 
“I knew that she had passed, while Rafael and I were together,” he had been a mess — he wasn’t sleeping, he was barely eating, you had to ply him to get him away from the office —- when he wasn’t working, he was drinking. He had blamed himself for his grandmother’s death for so long — and even now you wondered if he had ever stopped, “she was a wonderful woman.” 
“I wish you could have met her,” she sniffs, “she would have loved you,” and you nod, silent, and you feel her eyeing you, “what happened with you and Rafi anyway?” 
“It just didn’t work out,” you knew she wasn’t going to let it go that easily. 
“You two loved each other,” Lucia replies, “that just doesn’t go away.” 
And you did — you had loved him, you would have married him, you would have started a family with him — but he didn’t want that. And you did. 
“It doesn’t,” you wanted to brush it off, you wanted to tell her you were with someone else, you wanted to say something to make her stop pushing, but you couldn’t, “I did love your son, Lucia. I really did, but it wasn’t the right time for us.” 
“You made him happy—happier than I’ve ever seen him, even now,” and you meet her gaze, “you can’t tell me you don’t feel something for him now? Can you?” 
And you waver, no words coming to mind, “Lucia, I—” 
But then the bathroom door is creaking open, and you jolt, continuing to wash dishes, tongue tied and cheeks burning in shame — why didn’t you mention Sonny? Why didn’t you just tell her you loved someone else? But another question nagged at you, as the object of the question appeared before you — and you turned at the sound of your name to find him smiling at you. 
Why couldn’t you say that you didn’t have feelings for Rafael? 
“Ma, we should probably let your hostage go now,” he tilts his head, hands in his pockets, “I’m sorry if we stepped on your plans—” 
You clear your throat, “No, no, it’s fine—” And you move to grab your coat and bag, “but I really should get going.” 
Lucia holds out her arms, wrapping you in a hug, “It was wonderful to see you dear,” 
“You too,” you smiled, despite the interrogation that rivaled your son’s, “if I don’t see you again, please have a safe trip to Florida,” 
“Thank you, and good luck on your case,” she presses a kiss to your cheek, as Rafael stands by, arms crossed. 
“I’ll walk you out,” he nods at his mom, before slipping out of the apartment with you, as the door clicks behind you, and he walks you to the elevator, “I’m sorry my mom shanghaied you—” 
“It’s fine,” you wave him off, as you press the call button, “I enjoy being shanghaied when it involves your mom’s cooking,” 
“But still, I don’t want you to think that was my intention—” 
“Rafael?” you cut him off, “it’s fine.” 
And the elevator dings, the doors sliding open, “Are you sure?” 
You smile at him, sighing, stepping in, “If it’s not, I’ll just sue you,” and he scoffs, “I’ll see you Monday, Raf.” 
The nickname slips out before you can help it, and the doors close shut, as you step back, back of your head leaning against the wall. 
What the fuck were you doing? 
~~~
Rafael slips back inside, shutting the door behind him, “So what was that stunt you pulled to get—” 
“How much of our conversation did you hear?” Lucia replies, wiping her hands off, and crossing her arms. His gaze softens, “you still have a chance, mijo.” 
“Mami—”
She finds her way over to her son, “Do you miss—” 
He sighs, “You know I do,” but he shakes his head, turning away from her, “but it’s over, I can’t cross that line again—” 
“Can’t or won’t?” she places her hands on her hips, “you heard us — couldn’t deny having feelings for you still, and you — I’ve seen you since you’ve been working the case, you’re happier.” 
And he doesn’t want to admit it — it hurt to see you again, after you had rejected him, but more because of the way he had treated you. You were a reminder of yet another way he had failed, but also a reminder that he wanted to be so much better. And he did, and he was. 
He wasn’t the same person — he had grown, and so had you. 
And maybe, for once the timing was right — your mouth wrapped around his nickname, the way it used to be, still ringing in his ears. 
He turns to face his mother, “Now I’ll ask one more time, did you hear our conversation?” 
And he smiles, “I heard everything.” 
And he knew what he had to do. 
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“Where is your co-counsel?” Judge Harper asks sharply, and you stand twisting your fingers, “Counselor—” 
“I apologize, Your Honor,” you are texting Rafael for the sixth time, asking him where he is, “Mr. Barba is not responding to my attempts to get into contact with him. He had told me he may be a little late—” not twenty minutes late, but— “if you could give us a few more minutes—” 
“The People have no objection,” Sonny adds, sparing you a sympathetic look. 
“Even so, this is wasting the jurors’ time,” Judge Harper sighs, “Can you proceed without him?” 
Fuck — you still needed to disclose to Judge Harper.
Proceeding without disclosure would be a violation of your duties, and your eyes slide to Sonny who purses his lips, not to mention Sonny’s. Well no time like the present, “Yes, but I would like to enter chambers before then,” 
Judge Harper blinks, but agrees, rising to enter her chambers, and just as you round the defense table, Rafael arrives through the double doors, harried and rushing, “I apologize, Your Honor, I—” 
And he's glancing at all of you on your feet, halfway across the courtroom floor, and Judge Harper speaks first, "You're just in time to join us in chambers, counselor,” 
Rafael’s eyes flicker between you and Sonny, a questioning brow raised, but he follows, and your heart sinks. 
Fuck. 
He needed to know �� you just didn’t want him to find out this way. You had opportunities — you had your chance, and you had lost it. 
Just like he lost his — with you. 
The doors close behind you, as Judge Harper settles behind her desk for a moment, “Now, what is this about?” 
The uncomfortable feeling of everyone’s gaze settles over you, and Rafael’s gaze feels sharper than the others. 
But why did it feel sharper? 
It had been years since you had been together, years since you had ever— and why would he care if you were dating Carisi? Why did it feel like his gaze was carving into your mind and he could see the truth written across your forehead? But you still didn’t know — you didn’t know why you cared. 
Why did you care? 
Your throat was tight, and you still couldn’t think of an answer to your own question. 
“I wanted to disclose something — something that’s already been disclosed to my client with his consent in writing from the very start,” you swallow the lump in your throat, unable to meet Rafael’s eyes, 
“We wanted to disclose,” Sonny cuts in, “We were waiting for the trial to start, since we didn’t find any need to disclose to the arraignment judge, since Mr. Barba and I handled that.” 
“Disclose what?” And you still can’t bring yourself to look at Rafael. 
You hand her the paperwork, glancing at Sonny, “I’m currently in a relationship with A.D.A. Carisi.”
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mooshys · 3 years
Text
zara employee!AU futakuchi
content: me trying to be funny, retail headcanons
word count: 2.0k
a/n: ah yes, so winter (@/wackatoshi) and I planned out this entire mall universe for the hq boys and it’s the funniest thing to think about. y’all know those rude zara employees at the mall who judge you as soon as you walk in and tell you that “everything’s out on the floor already” when you ask for a size up? and all the racks on the floor are in shambles? that’s what inspired this. not sure if another installment will be added to this, but whatever! for reference, the other employees: oikawa, ennoshita, kuroo, hanamaki.
the worst person to work with... ever
he completely fits the stereotype of zara employee
will go on his lunch break, but “accidentally” forget to clock out, so he’s still earning cash for eating his sandwich in the back. also prolongs his breaks by at least 5 minutes
can never be found when there’s a rush. and by the time they DO find him, the store is completely empty
comes in late, but leaves as soon as his shift ends
never comes to the store on his days off and whenever the managers text him asking if he can pick up a shift he says he’s “busy”
everyone knows it’s a lie. one time ennoshita, the manager, went on his break and saw futakuchi buying a pretzel at the auntie anne's from the mall food court even though he texted ennoshita like thirty minutes ago that he already had important plans for the day. futakuchi made direct eye contact with him as he took a bite into his pretzel, not the least bit apologetic about lying
all his coworkers wonder how he still has this job
spends most of his shift complaining about working than actually working
when people ask if there are any other sizes in the back, he’ll go to the storage room, play on his phone for 5 minutes, and then walk out to the customer and tell them that they're out of stock
will say he’s doing go-backs, but in reality he’s just walking around the store in circles to avoid work
when he’s REALLY annoyed he sometimes won’t even wear his name tag on the floor so the customers don’t know if he works there and will leave him alone
doesn’t even try to hide how disgruntled he is with work, will literally say “I hate this job” loud enough for customers to hear when he’s shit talking with oikawa behind the register. does loud audible sighs when a customer comes up to check out if he’s in the middle of telling a story
awful at folding the clothes. he might as well just compress all the shirts into a ball and toss them into the bag instead
DESPISES CLOSING WITH A PASSION. he hates staying back even five minutes to pick clothes off from the ground. will literally curse that the company is so inconsiderate of his time even though he clocked in late to his shift...
if you’re on shift with him be prepared to do all the work... go see a chiropractor cuz you’ll basically be carrying him on your back the whole time!
he also finds the most creative ways to get others to do his work for him. his usual victim is hanamaki. he’ll go up to him and say “hey, do you mind folding up all the shirts in zone B for me? ennoshita asked me to organize the back since we’re doing new promos tomorrow” and hanamaki’s so clueless and goes “yeah! sure dude, I got it!”
futakuchi doesn’t organize in the back, he hides behind all the boxes while crouched down on his phone for about twenty minutes before going out on the floor again
someone save hanamaki he’s literally doing futakuchi’s work for him... poor boy needs a RAISE
you actually don’t work at the store futakuchi works at, you’re a part timer at another nearby store
during the holiday season the zara futakuchi works at gets super busy and you take a few extra shifts there to help out
you and futakuchi have an... interesting relationship
first thing you say when you see him during the holiday season: “you haven’t been fired yet?”
he’s rolling his eyes going “oh haha. very funny. saw you were at the bottom of sales last week. that’s probably why you’re always getting transferred here, huh.”
you two are constantly snapping back at each other, even when you’re ringing other people up at the registers. the customers are standing there awkwardly as you two scan and passive aggressively insult each other
it’s so weird, like you two are so mean to each other, but at the same time you’re both practically attached to the hip during your shifts together
futakuchi is more... punctual during the holiday season and even takes a COUPLE EXTRA SHIFTS which floors ennoshita (he’s so moved, he thinks futakuchi has had a change of heart and is trying to improve his work ethic... buddy that’s not it, I’m so sorry)
every time you clock in, futakuchi is there too and you’re going. oh great. not this guy again. it’s like clockwork, as soon as your shift starts, you’re at each others’ neck
when you diss the way he folds clothes, he’s scrutinizing your high pitched customer service voice
at first the other guys are laughing at what’s going on between you two and they’re thinking you two are Mortal Enemies For Life
but then they start noticing little by little that your relationship with futakuchi isn’t like that at all
when you’re scolding futakuchi with his awful folding, you take the time to show him all the steps to make a clean display free of wrinkles. he’s standing next to you trying to imitate the way your hands work on the fabric. he adds in a few snarky comments here and there, but you hush him as you’re giving instructions
and when you’ve got a huge rack of clothes from the dressing room that need to go back on the floor, futakuchi offers to help you put them away. he’ll say “ennoshita told me to help out” and you brush it off, but he’s actually lying. he’s helping you on his own accord
he has his asshole persona to keep up with, so he’s still sliding in snide remarks, but you’re so used to it and can keep up with him that he’s always on his toes. he likes this back and forth with you
one day, kuroo starts talking about you with futakuchi to get the 411 on what’s going on between you two. futakuchi denies it all until kuroo starts teasing him by saying he’ll ask you on a date. that’s when futakuchi’s going. wait what
“yeah, there’s a nice restaurant about ten minutes from here and I think going there on a date would really—”
futakuchi starts internally freaking out. he’s going “oh. a date. at a nice italian restaurant near here. wow.”
and kuroo’s got a nice lopsided grin because HE KNOWS and he’s still egging him on
that’s when it finally hits futakuchi. he... he likes you. He Likes You A Lot
the tips of his ears start turning red at this sudden revelation
and upon seeing this kuroo’s like "Alright bud, I was just messing with you. But if you don’t ask her out on a date then I sure as hell will!"
futakuchi’s going alright man give me like a week
Bro futakuchi is even MEANER to you than he was before because he Likes you and Doesn’t Know How To Deal With His Feelings since he’s got the emotional capacity of a grade schooler
futakuchi: wow. that blouse you’re wearing. it suits you.
you: really? thank you I think the color—
futakuchi: yeah. it’s ugly. like you.
you: ...
kuroo’s watching the exchange from the register completely horrified. he’s like. what have I done. futakuchi whips his head over with pleading eyes when you tell him to shove it and kuroo’s shaking his head thinking “I never should have gotten involved”
he’s in too deep already and when you leave the floor to help ennoshita with the stockroom, kuroo has another one-on-one with futakuchi. he tells him the basics like “Don’t call the person you like Ugly”
“well what else am I supposed to say”
truly a lost cause...
it’s like talking to a wall with futakuchi. kuroo’s telling him to be polite and sweet to you and futakuchi’s nodding his head in understanding, but as soon as he’s within a 3ft radius near you his brain is thinking “insult them for attention” kuroo’s like DUDE. WHAT DID I SAY.
this sad exchange goes on for a week and by then kuroo’s like. I give up on you. I can’t deal with this and the holiday rush. he’s waving up the white flag
futakuchi’s been kinda meaner to you than before, so you start ignoring him a bit and he’s getting so frustrated with himself that he doesn’t even know what to do and kuroo notices you two not talking AT ALL during a shift and he’s like. Futakuchi. Just Confess Already. Jesus.
futakuchi wishes he never realized he likes you because he wants to go back to those work days when you two would be Kinda Cheeky towards each other and everything was lax
the confession happens when ennoshita assigns you and futakuchi to work on orders in the back room. at first, futakuchi was trying to find hanamaki to do the work for him, but was promptly dragged by ennoshita to the back. there was no getting out of this
when he saunters on in, he sees you’re already printing out the shipping labels and folding up boxes and it’s silent, your back is facing him and he can definitely feel something is wrong
you saw him searching for hanamaki on the floor and it hurt your feelings because were you that insufferable to work with?
there’s silence between you two and then you break it and tell him that he can go back on the floor if he doesn’t want to work with you
and he can sense the hurt in your voice and he’s like... no, no, no that isn’t it
you’re shaking your head and saying “look, I get it. I get on your nerves. I could tell from this past week and you avoiding me. sorry if I did anything wrong... you can grab hanamaki and we’ll finish these orders while you work in the front”
now futakuchi is internally screaming NONONONONO in his mind because YOU’RE not annoying him at all he’s just a complete dummy who doesn’t know how to deal with his own emotions and now you’re on the verge of crying as you fold some shirts with tissue paper
it’s now or never
futakuchi blurts out that he Really Likes You
at first you think he’s joking and you’re going “Are you serious right now? I’m literally crying and you think NOW is the time to do some fake middle school confession? you’re sick”
POOR GUY HE’S LIKE “NO I REALLY MEAN THAT I LIKE YOU... A LOT...”
he’s right next to you now and grabs onto your shoulders so you can get a good look at his face. his eyes are all business as he confesses again
you’ve got your hand over your mouth and it hits you
futakuchi being Extra Mean to you is his way of showing affection...
now you’re throwing your head back in laughter because he’s so dumb. he’s tall and handsome and too cheeky for his own good, but he’s also like an elementary school kid realizing he’s got his first ever crush and he has absolutely No Idea how to Deal With It
after you’re done laughing, you lightly hit him on the chest and throw in a few lighthearted insults before you hug him as tight as you can. he returns the favor by wrapping his arms around you, practically engulfing you
he’s thinking wow. this is nice. he’s keeping his mouth clamped shut to avoid ruining the moment, but he’s totally digging the way you fit perfectly in his arms
when you pull away you notice his face is red all over and now you’re cracking up and calling him tomato head
and at this, he’s pointing at your running mascara and is like “sure I look like a tomato, but you’re looking like a reject Joker with all that smudged makeup”
now you two are fighting in the back, but in a more loving manner
as soon as you both clock out for the night, futakuchi takes you to the nice italian restaurant nearby. the one kuroo mentioned about a week beforehand
it’s the perfect place for a first date
(he’s too prideful to thank kuroo, but what he instead does is send a selfie with you in the picture + the food during the first date. kuroo’s slow clapping it out. he knew the little asshole could do it.)
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otvlanga · 3 years
Note
Would you be willing to write more for ralis? Or teldryn? Or revyn sadri??? 👀
Yess I’ll definitely writing more for Ralis and Teldryn soon. I haven’t done Revyn Sadri yet though so here u go! Sorry it took a while. (I literally had no clue that many people actually loved him as much as I do)
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He was married once to a pretty Dunmer woman when he was much younger, and much more naive to the ways of the world. They had hardly been courting for a few months before rushing to the Temple of Mara to be wed, tipsy on cheap Dunmer liquor and the rush of puppy-love. Their marriage lasted for a good decade, with Revyn absolutely head over heals for his beautiful wife within the first year. However, the entire relationship ended in shambles when Revyn heard along the grapevine that his wife was sleeping with other men. He was absolutely crushed and immediately confronted her, shouting and sobbing. He demanded they separate, despite her protests and insistence that she was never disloyal to him; he wouldn’t listen. and They had a quick, messy divorce, and never heard from each other again. The guilt chewed him up from the inside for years. To this day he isn’t sure if he was really right about her infidelity, and as a result, he presently struggles with a lot of self-doubt, and a slight fear of confronting people when he’s not sure if he’s right. He’s not a bitch though, if he knows that other person’s wrong then he’ll say whatever he damn well pleases.
He can be very impulsive at times, in a chaotic good way. He’s always trying to do the right thing, and stands on the side of helping others. He’s jumped into the middle of fights in between Dunmer and Nords in the grey Quarter, trying to pull them apart and stop anyone from hurting eachother, even if it meant he’d go home that night with bruises or a chipped tooth. He’s told off parents on the streets that were yelling at or striking their children, even if he knew it meant he might be the one getting yelled at or hit instead for butting into people’s business. He’ll  immediately holler for the guards and chase after a thief if he sees them steal something, even if he has no weapon to defend himself with when they fight back against him trying to detain them. His slight fear of confrontation flies out the window when he’s absolutely sure he’s doing the right thing, his morals won’t allow him to sit and watch as bad things happen. Even if it works against him, he’ll gladly take it knowing he did the right thing and made a difference in a world where evil brews in every cauldron and burns in every hearth.
He’s a very patient and mellow man. You’ll probably only hear him raise his voice once or twice a year when it isn’t necessary. However, even the most dormant of volcanoes will blow up eventually, and he’s no exception to that. He’s a  family man through and through, and will absolutely throw hands without question if a loved one is threatened or hurt. Doesn’t matter if his spouse is the legendary Dragonorn of legend, he’ll punch a creepy perv in the face for touching them without consent. He’ll fight the parents of the kids that bully his kids, he doesn’t give a fuck. When the disrespect for his family shows, the gloves come off. Even if he is kinda scrawny.  (look I know he doesn’t seem like he’d ever hit someone, but there’s just something so funny about a skinny little shop keeper absolutely wrecking someone for being an asshole to his family. it just makes me smile)
Gardening is his favorite hobby. He loves plants of all kinds, and has as many in pots that he can fit in his house. His yard probably has tons of flowers, and overgrown bushes and trees that the Jarl always tries to get him to chop down, because the roots ruin the foundations of surrounding buildings. He’s a mushy romantic guy at heart, and would probably clip fresh flowers from his garden for his s/o every week
He makes some really good soup and stew. He’s alright when it comes to cooking roasts and other types of food, but it’s really the soup and stew where his talent shines. He’s lived alone in his shop for a long while, and the winters in Windhelm are brutal. Putting a good chicken stew over the fire to simmer for a few hours keeps his home toasty warm longer than roasting a pheasant or goat haunch would. He knows a handfull of traditional Dunmer recipes as well, even if he’s been away from his homeland for so long. Him and Ambarys don’t get along so well, but they try their best to set aside their differences to prepare a feast together at the Cornerclub on Dunmerer holidays.
There’s a handful of Dunmer in the Grey Quarter who don’t like him, simply because he doesn’t hate the Nords like they do. He’s friendly to everyone who enters his shop, and will sell and buy from them no matter if they’re a Dunmer, Nord, Altmer, etc. He’s been accused of being a “sympathizer” and “traitor’ by some of his neighbors. Most of these rumors are spread by Ambarys. They were close friends in the past, but had a petty falling out over Revyn giving his last bit of gold to a Nord woman to get a carriage home to Whiterun after she was robbed. She had said she came to visit the Temple of Talos, but got stuck up in an alley by a cloaked man, and he stole her coin purse and her jewelry. Ambarys scolded Revyn for “being so easily fooled”, claiming that the woman was obviously lying to him just to make a fool out of a naive Dunmer for her own entertainment. Revyn was having none of that, and told Ambarys that if he had so little room in his heart for people in need, then he didn’t want a spot for himself in it. Revyn knows his people have been wronged, and abused, and shunned by the Nord people, but he refuses to admit defeat to the bad people in the world, and allow himself to believe they’re all bad. He’s an optimist like that. 
He’s always willing to support someone if they’re upset or angry. He’s got a real talent for talking people down from yelling fits of rage, and comforting people bawling their eyes out until they don’t feel the need to cry anymore. He’s a total optimist, and refuses to let anyone shit on their own future before it even happens. He’s a firm believer in “good thoughts bring good things” and always advises people to surround themselves in good energy, and project it to others if they want to receive the same. Likewise, he understands that a positive outlook won’t fix everything, and is never opposed to hugging someone for as long as they need it, or lying in bed with his s/o in his arms when they’re having a terrible day. 
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