#you have to talk and respond differently to a kid because of their intelligence levels sure

[xxlovelynovaxx]

An uncharitable reading on a population of largely traumatized neurodivergent kids that I found, that I responded to assuming OP was acting in good faith to try and open a conversation on the subject:

(Plaintext: An uncharitable reading on a population of largely traumatized neurodivergent kids that I found, that I responded to assuming OP was acting in good faith to try and open a conversation on the subject:)

to be honest i generally dislike the term "gifted kid". when people talk about being an "ex gifted kid" it's usually just to talk about burnout, which isn't anywhere near unique specifically to children who were part of some local gifted and talented program. when people talk about not learning the skills they need as an adult, that isn't unique to being "gifted" as a child. this happens to most people.

i think what is actually happening is that, as a child being treated better than their peers, their self worth was determined on academic success and being seen as smart and clever. but people develop at different rates and have different skills and the sort of abilities, skills, or intelligence you need to use isn't consistent throughout your academic year. so they "fall behind" when actually they're just average and not particularly worse than most other people. what they didn't learn was how to not hinge their self worth on academics and being better than other people. and how to see everyone as equal regardless of academic ability. people get caught up in the idea of only being "good" if they can be better than others and get top results with less efforts. which is really insulting to other people's efforts. this isn't getting over being labelled "gifted" and moving on with your life. it's clinging to that label that has long expired, and using it as a reason for why you are not as good as you would like to be.

and it shouldn't be insulting to say so if you've truly let go of the idea that people who are good at academics are better. that being smart and talented makes someone better. i really wonder how you think people who were bad at academics growing up feel about people saying that they should still be better than them, because they were better as children, and being on the same level is the worst thing ever. the moralising of intelligence and grades is so deep rooted you need to really dig in to get it out

My reply

(Plaintext: my reply)

The thing is, this is not how we use it at all.

continued below the readmore, please make note of the content warning/trigger warning tags on the post. we added both cw and tw tags to hopefully have as many people's filters be able to catch it as possible

The label "gifted kid" itself we view as a form of violence forced on kids.

It's not being told you're only "good" if you're "better than others". It's being told your sole, entire worth is wrapped up in your personal academic performance. It doesn't matter how other kids do, because they're "smart in their own ways" and "even if they're not smart, they're good at other things". It's still violently ableist against severely disabled kids, don't get me wrong; the message needs to be that all people inherently have worth, not that everyone is good at something.

But it's not about anyone else's performance, really. It's about yours, and only yours. I remember telling my parents "but [friend] gets Cs" and their response was "[friend] isn't you". Other kids were allowed to not get perfect grades in school, but if I didn't, I wasn't just not good enough, I was no longer a person.

This didn't just lead to "being average". This led to being severely, likely permanently, cognitively disabled. The burnout and trauma associated with it has made me incapable of doing many of the things that even the average adult can do. While the extent varies, especially after several years in recovery, for multiple years I couldn't do elementary level tasks. I've wondered for a while now if it caused actual brain damage (not due to traumatic injury, but that's not the only thing that can cause brain damage).

I still struggle with extreme executive dysfunction, worsened by the severe burnout and subsequent breakdown I endured - not just to the point where I struggle to fill out disability paperwork and make appointments, but even to the point where I need a caregiver in order to do things like make food and so laundry, and to the point where I sometimes have to wear diapers because task inertia and executive dysfunction make me unable to move to get to the toilet.

(This is worsened by physical disability, but if I'm being quite honest, the primary ways the two intersect is that pain further worsens executive dysfunction as well as ironically my lack of awareness of my bodily needs - forgot the term for that specifically; as well as increases frequency and urgency of bathroom needs and both cognitive and physical effects of missing meals.)

It's not and was never about "other people's efforts".

It's also hard to understate the severe negative impact of being taught to hinge your entire self-worth on something you become no longer capable of doing. This is the precise type of withholding conditional love and support in early childhood development that can later cause cluster B personality disorders. It's not really even about what you can be "good" at. It's about being taught in your most formative developmental years that you, and only you, are not deserving of love or even life if you don't earn it.

I'm not "on the same level" as most others. I'm far below their level. I'm severely disabled, and the experience of neurodivergent burnout as a result of being treated as a gifted child is what caused a good portion of it. Even the subsequent abuse by my parents after dropping out of college was in large part for these reasons, and could be partially responsible for the development of my physical chronic illnesses, even.

I don't see those without "academic ability" as worse than me. Why would I? They don't have to earn their worth. They never have. They were always allowed to exist as they were, however they were.

The messaging I internalized, as I began to fail to meet the high requirements expected of me, and eventually became completely unable to meet even what are considered basic requirements for others, was that I was uniquely broken. That there was something fundamentally wrong with me that wasn't present in anyone else - that I was born tainted in some imperceptible way.

The only comparison that I did ever internalize was that I, and I alone, had not earned the right to be alive if I wasn't "the best". My intelligence didn't make me better than other people; it made me almost as good as a real person. The only reason it was even being celebrated at all was for how I could "help other people".

I had a duty to be a doctor or a scientist because since I had been born "smart", if I didn't use it, I was basically depriving suffering people of relief and was therefore evil. I was told, explicitly, repeatedly, that I owed this to the world because I was "gifted". When I became more profoundly neurodisabled, I wasn't actually incapable, or if I was, it was just temporary. I needed to "work harder" to overcome it. When "working harder" made me suicidal, while actively being abused, I was told I was selfish for wanting to take away what I could "give" to the world. When I wanted to do anything other than a STEM field viewed as directly benefitting humanity - even arts or social sciences or pure mathematics - I was similarly selfish.

Don't get me wrong, I despise the term gifted kid. To me, it will only ever be the phrase used to teach me that my only worth was in what I could do to advance science for humanity, and that anything less than that made me a selfish burden not worthy of life.

It's quite possible that the other people you've seen who were once labeled as such didn't experience the extent of trauma that I did. They might also lack awareness, having not fully unpacked it yet, or not be able to articulate it. I don't know.

But I do know the people who were labeled as such that I've spoken to have had similar experiences. Making it just about being "better" than others or being "average" or "the moralizing of intelligence or getting good grades" isn't just severely downplaying the trauma many of us have endured, it's wholly inaccurate to many of our experiences.

I'd also add - even in cases where it is about that - there's still a component of kids being taught during developmental years that being "better" is the only way to earn love, worth, and the right to live. Being taught you have to be "good at" vs "better than others at" something are two different things.

But even in the case of the latter, in order to convince a severely traumatized, formerly neglected or abused person that it isn't true... you have to lead with the fact that they are still deserving of love, have worth, and are allowed to live, if they are average or below average.

Because yeah, if you say "you shouldn't think of yourself as better than others because they have worth and deserve to be treated well, and you're hurting them if you do", all they're going to hear is "they have worth and deserve to be treated well, and you're hurting them".

Even setting aside whether they think being "better" means they deserve to be treated better, or if it's like most trauma and mental illness where they are far harder on theirself than anyone else and are horrified at the very idea of anyone other than them needing to earn worth and good treatment...

Blame and shame will simply be less effective at convincing them to listen. Being effective in convincing people to examine their internalized ableism and ideas around the moralization of intelligence is what affects material reality and helps make changes. I've been as guilty as anyone of simply ranting about how people treat those they view as "unintelligent", especially since entering that category myself. It's what feels good!

But I also think that addressing the concerns and fears of people who have actually been hurt is necessary in convincing them of your point.

I also think that the conflation of even seeing yourself as "better than" others and thinking that therefore others deserve to be treated as "lesser than" is wholly inaccurate. I mean, we have NPD, and we do sometimes think we are better than others in other ways (often either in highly abstract or highly specific ways - so just "I'm the best" "at what" "the best"; or "I'm one of the best knitters ever for figuring out fair isle knitting on my first try").

That doesn't mean we think that anyone else deserves to be treated worse than us - to the contrary, it only convinces us that everyone deserves to be treated with the fullest amount of kindness and compassion possible, because we want everyone to feel as good about themselves as we do, and to recognize how deeply inherently worthy of that feeling as we are.

Conversely, when we have crashes, and this is probably an even bigger factor in how we feel about every human being having inherent worth and deserving respect... we never, ever, ever want anyone else to feel even a fraction of what we feel when we feel we aren't good enough.

Because we rely a lot of words of affirmation and verbal reassurance, we find exactly what the people around us take pride in and then find every possible thing we can to compliment about it. We remind acquaintances and strangers we strike up a conversation with that they don't have to earn decency if it even comes up at all.

We even had a conversation with our abusive mother, who we've chosen to continue a relationship with due to marginally improved behavior, that being able to support them while her mom has dementia, is a privilege and joy, that she deserves all the kindness and support I can give, and that she should give herself the grace of rest and letting others help.

Mind you, supporting her is a struggle and sometimes one that I question if it's worth it, because she and my father are sometimes petty and mean in return, take me for granted, and take out their frustrations on me (likely as much because I'm one of the only people they trust enough to do so, weirdly). But I don't want the literal abuser that nearly drove me to suicide multiple times to feel unworthy of love or support or just generally not good enough.

(I don't judge others who do hate or feel indifferent towards their abusers. This is not an "I'm better than any other victims for this, because this is a conscious choice I am making. Ironically, some of how my parents continue to mistreat me is because of a lack of self awareness that they have a choice in how they engage with their parents too, even if it's one that they would only ever choose one way. But point being, this is to illustrate the full extent of what I mean when I say "I truly believe everyone has innate worth and deserves to feel worthy of life and kindness and love". I know plenty of other victims are capable of believing that while not being able to feel it towards their abusers - I'd even say many of us fall into that category of believing it but not being able to feel it emotionally towards our abusers.)

(Also, as a secondary note, we switched to "we" language specifically for our whole system to take accountability for our thoughts, beliefs, and actions here, not because I specifically am excluding myself from it in any way.)

I do think you're right about how a lot of people moralize grades and intelligence. It's something many of us had to deeply examine in ourselves.

I also think that it's a bit unfair, however, to assume that "former gifted kids" think other people are less worthy or deserving of love, support, and life in general if they are less intelligent, just because they've internalized those messages about themself specifically.

Trauma and mental illness don't work that way. They're rarely rational, and even more rarely focused on other people like that. Many "former gifted kids" specifically struggle with severe depression and anxiety.

One of the most common experiences of depression and anxiety is the mental illness convincing you that you are uniquely horrible for doing things, not doing things, or not being able to do things, that it's perfectly fine for other people to do, not do, or not be able to do.

The logic isn't consistent, because mental illness is not logical in the first place. It's even more illogical when those same ideas are further supported by adults treating your past self as uniquely bad for things they actively say and show are fine for others to do - because now you have "evidence" that these thoughts are true. You have to earn your worth because you are uniquely unworthy - you must even be worse than everyone else, because they don't have to earn their worth.

Being on the same level as everyone else isn't bad. It would be great to not struggle with self-esteem issues (the root and one of the symptoms of my NPD, actually) constantly trying to tell me that I alone do not have worth and am in fact a burden on existence just for being alive. I've spent years trying to convince myself "I'm not lesser than literally everyone else, even the most evil figures from the darkest periods of history. Everyone else doesn't somehow have some innate quality of worth that I wasn't born with and therefore uniquely have to earn. None of that is true."

(If this seems to contradict what I said about the symptoms of NPD highs, those are themselves a reactive overcorrection to that trauma to try and cope with the low self-esteem. The truth is, I'm not special. I'm neither uniquely bad or uniquely good. Thinking of myself as the best does help, as long as I manage it to avoid severe crashes, and it's not harmful. It doesn't affect the way I treat people, except perhaps in how it makes me wanna help others feel the same way. Thinking of yourself as "better than" others or "the best" is harmless unless it causes you to mistreat others, in which case the problem is still the mistreatment itself.)

And yeah, I'm not "as good" as I would like to be. I lack basic functionality, and it causes a lot of struggles and hardship in my life. It often directly or indirectly causes trauma.

I've cried in my partner's arms, terrified she'd want to leave me or would hate me or think I'm disgusting because I made a double mess in the bed while feeling too unwell to move, or because I wet the couch repeatedly as a reaction to processing sexual and related trauma. We live in abject poverty because I am incapable of working - due primarily to my neurodivergent disabilities, much more even than my profound physical disabilities - and that is a source of ongoing complex trauma. Another source of ongoing complex trauma is the reevaluations I have to spend the entirety of every third year panicking over the possibility of losing my entire meager income from.

I have to constantly field "advice", judgment, and questions from people convinced there is some part time job that plays to my strengths, when I spend between 50 and 90 percent of every day simply being disabled or recovering from being disabled. I am constantly fatigued, sick, in pain, dealing with panic attacks, flashbacks, dissociation, and a plethora of general symptoms of both trauma and chronic illness, and spend multiple hours a day either doing those things or resting after.

Most people seem truly incapable of comprehending the true extent of my disability - how I can talk and seem "normal" (even though doing so with most people can mean I have to recover for the rest of the day, or longer if I have to do so for longer than a few minutes); how going to a single store, even while using a motorized cart, two days in a row can leave me bedridden for several days and housebound for several weeks; how I seem eloquent and well-spoken and "intelligent" but even writing this post is making my brain feel like mush and it's entirely possible I won't be able to do anything at all for the next several hours at least.

I'm not saying all this to seem dramatic. I'm admitting - yes, I'm not "as good" as I want to be. I can't even do the things I enjoy most of the time, despite having what looks externally like "free time" and appearing "normal" and "functional" to the average person I interact with. I'm saying I don't judge anyone who also can't do the same things, but that doesn't make the experience of profound disability any less frustrating.

And yes, having been previously comparatively abled absolutely plays a part in that frustration, because I know what it was like to be at least average, if not in some areas moderately better than average. I know what it's like to exceed my own personal goals, not in comparison to anyone else, but the own measures I've set for my success. I know what it's like to even meet them. I know what it's like to meet only some of them, but to be able to at least work on the ones I didn't meet.

I know what it's like to be able to even try, to not be trapped silently screaming from both physical pain and emotional anguish in a body that's falling apart and it seems is actively trying to kill us half the time, where what little energy we do have becomes a choice between directing it at the few things we can still do that make us happy, or chasing down and begging doctors to stop being massively ableist egocentric pricks and actually do their jobs (or at least, not actively prescribe things that have a good likelihood of killing us via actively worsening one or more of our health conditions).

So I don't think, even for people who are now "average", that it's bad for them to mourn their own personal capabilities. It's still not even necessarily bad if they do feel it makes them "better than" other people, as long as they don't think other people deserve to be mistreated, don't mistreat other people themselves, and don't think people have to earn worth/the right to live. But it's also not always even about that, because being "good at" something in the sense that it comes easily to you, and then hitting a wall where you struggle with or are unable to progress further, while other people still do, is difficult!

It's difficult in sports, if you hit the limits of your athletic abilities but some of your peers start outperforming you - even if others don't, you probably joined sports BECAUSE you were competitive and wanted to push your limits, and finding you can't push them further is difficult. The existence of disabled people who can't do sports (like me, I am quite literally allergic to exercise; my MCAS causes exercise induced anaphylaxis) doesn't make it ableist to want to be good, or better than average, at them.

It also doesn't inherently mean you think you're better than nonathletic people or that nonathletic people. Some people do think that and treat people as such, advocating for the mistreatment of "physically lazy" people. That's both generally bad and very ableist. But that's an entirely separate issue from just wanting to be good at or better than average/better than others at sports.

Idk, to me, the experience of being a "former gifted kid" is not at all about any kind of pride or superiority complex or any of that.

It's about having love, support, sometimes physical needs, and being treated as worthy of life, all withheld on the condition of performance in academics, being treated as worse than worthless if you fail to perform, and internalizing that if you can't perform you're better off dead and even doing people a favor by destroying yourself so that you won't be a burden any longer. It's about the inherent violence of teaching a small child that they're horrible and selfish for doing things that make them happy, and that the only way they can earn the right to exist is to sacrifice their own feelings for the "greater good" of everyone else who is worthy of love and support.

It's about the combined isolation of undiagnosed neurodivergence causing your peers and often authority figures to treat you as weird and reject and mistreat you, while also having it repeatedly reinforced that you are uniquely unworthy of love and only by being perfect (or in some cases, performing better than others), can you even earn the basic decency and support and love they already possess being deserving of just by simply existing.

It's about the way that this trauma and neglect and often abuse is downplayed if not outright erased, how we are often blamed for the ableism and mistreatment that was perpetrated against us. It's about how despite acknowledging that most "former gifted kids" are neurodivergent, the fact that neurodivergence is typically disabling and that neurodivergent burnout often has severe, lasting disabling effects is brushed aside.

It's about how we're treated as abled or basically abled - mildly disabled but still retaining average functionality - when most of us simply don't have even that much ability or privilege. It's about how when so many of us are unable to work - many of us having been determined by the infamously ableist and gatekeeping disability divisions of our governments to meet their extremely stringent requirements of disability allowance, and many more pursuing it - we're still treated as basically "average", or as if it must actually be physical disabilities mainly contributing to that level of severity of disability.

While I'm using your wording, OP, I'm not saying you're doing this. I'm reusing it for lack of better phrasing, but this is what I have faced in general, repeatedly, from people and from society. These experiences are reflected in the accounts of friends who grew up having basic decency dangled over their heads to make them perform like little monkeys in the field of academics only to be discarded as soon as they couldn't dance anymore.

People do downplay the severity of neurodivergent burnout, the way depression, anxiety disorders, and personality disorders are directly caused by neglect and abuse that result from the expectations placed on "gifted kids"; that parents, family, and other important figures in child development making love and support conditional and withholding it in the first place, and berating and punishing the kid for the smallest of academic "failures" even IS neglect and abuse; and how this plays into the extremely high rates of complex trauma in neurodivergent adults.

They ignore how neurodivergent burnout is not simply burnout. They ignore how it causes extremely high rates of self-harm and suicidality and is often comorbid with depression as well as anxiety and trauma disorders. They ignore how it is heavily influenced by executive functioning, and how burnouts are usually progressive in severity and profoundly and often permanently affect overall executive functioning. They ignore how because of differential development, the vast majority of "gifted kids" are neurodivergent (though plenty of neurodivergent people are not gifted kids - neurodivergence can be significantly disabling at any age and for any given diagnosis).

They ignore how autistic burnout at least, and iirc to a lesser extent ADHD burnout, is an actual studied phenomenon acknowledged as serious and severe. They ignore how most other forms of neurodivergence can't be diagnosed at a young age except in cases of ableist violence being used to force "compliance", and are therefore less studying and also kids receive significantly less treatment for. They forget there's still a stigma of kids being "too young" and having it "too easy" to be depressed, anxious, or suicidal - and how depression and anxiety are treated as mental illness on "easy mode" by many people anyway despite being deadly.

Again, I'm not saying OP is doing any of this. This seems to be a vent post about their own personal experiences, which of course is going to only cover their own personal experiences and perspective.

But I am saying this. If your immediate thought is to say "it's not downplaying it to say that most 'former gifted kids' are just average people having to deal with not being better than the rest of us", you have several things to examine -

about your moralization of thoughts and feelings,

about your subsequent projection onto them of the idea that people thinking themselves better than others at a specific activity causes them treat other people as less worthy of respect and dignity as human beings,

about how you're not listening to and erasing the experiences of more disabled "former gifted kids" and basing your view of the majority of the community on a small minority that is most vocal precisely because of their privilege,

about how your anecdotal experiences are biasing you in general,

about how you may not be listening to what the people you're describing are even actually saying, but might be ascribing your own ideas of their feelings, motivations, experiences, and even material realities onto them,

and about how when people say "you don't need to downplay my trauma to talk about how bad yours/someone else's was", they're not even saying you can't ever compare the two, but they are saying not to assume what an entire group of people has gone through simply because you don't THINK it could be anywhere near as bad as your/another experience.

Because here's the thing. I actually agree that SOME "former gifted kids" are relatively privileged and dealing with comparatively minor setbacks in their own performance, and perhaps even comparing themselves to people they think are "less intelligent' in a way that is derogatory and possibly ableist to those people. I've met a few myself.

I think they still deserve a space in these discussions, especially when they are disabled, but I also think they currently do sometimes take up a disproportionate space - precisely because they are not even most of the subset of people considered "former gifted kids", let alone most neurodivergent/disabled people.

But I also think that "I think that what is actually happening" is carrying a WHOLE lotta weight in that post. I vehemently disagree that that is what is actually happening. It's a whole lot of assumption, projection, and judgment, about an experience I don't know if you claim to have, but one that is not accurate to the vast majority of the people who were labeled as "gifted kids".

And I think maybe you think the negative emphasis when people call themselves a "former gifted kid" is on the word "former", when actually, for most of us, it's on "gifted".

Former "gifted" kid. Yeah, right. Former neglected, mistreated, and abused kid, who was taught they were "gifted" with the responsibility to spill their last drop of blood to feed a bunch of thirsty vampires.

It's an entirely different kind of mistreatment from the kind that other neurodivergent and disabled kids go through. Those who get sent through the special ed track in fact endure a particularly awful kind of hell, one that even from an outsiders perspective does seem worse to me.

It's not saying "others didn't have it bad" or even "others didn't have it worse" to say "we had it bad", or even "we had it worse than you seem to think we did". My own little brother ended up homeschooled from third grade on due to his learning disabilities. My mother, by his own words, was never abuse to him (and I never witnessed such, she seemed to be a good teacher for him and a good mother to him) but I did see a small fraction of why he got pulled out of school in the first place, and it was horrific.

So I'm speaking from the heart when I say that all I'm saying is that both can be bad.

Even if one is always significantly worse (which, "at what point does actual abuse of gifted kids even become comparable" is a pointless and harmful argument, so I think "always is significantly worse" is probably not accurate either, but even if it is), it's still wrong to assume that because one is worse, the other is just basically easy.

It's wrong to assume that therefore only "xyz" ever actually happens to "gifted kids" because you've already established that they have it easy and so only easy things CAN happen to them. That's a logical fallacy (circular logic) and can cause you to reject every account to the contrary due to your own bias, and say there's no evidence otherwise because obviously, there appears to be no evidence when it keeps getting circle-filed.

One example I use, because people recognize it as "objectively one of the worst kinds of abuse" is my infant CSA. Other people are still allowed to talk about other CSA, adult SA, grooming, emotional incest, sexual harassment, and everything else within that category. It's all able to be recognized as significantly bad - even if you can put "degrees" to it, it's recognized by decent people to start at "very, very, very bad" and only get worse from there.

Though I will say, precisely because of downplaying certain types of sexual violence specifically, it took me so much longer to realize the way my adoptive mother groomed me about coming to her about sexual material in media and sexual thoughts and feelings, and how she exercised a chokehold over my sexual agency well into adulthood by means of this emotional control.

This is why I am so vehemently against downplaying ANY form of harm - because I, as a victim of the "more severe" harms, have been directly harmed by downplaying the "less severe" harms.

This post has dragged on long enough already. That's the compulsive hyperlexia, trauma around past (sometimes malicious, more often not) misinterpretation of my words as a neurodivergent person, the emotional flashback that initially occurred, and general PTSD symptoms causing me to try and explain exactly why I don't agree with the original post.

I'm open to an explanation of your own perspective, OP, but I'd also like to be clear that if you do just want to argue with me about the severity of trauma or frequency of significant trauma of people who are labeled "former gifted kids" - or about what you think I "actually" think, feel, or am saying - I'd rather you just block me. I would hold no ill will towards you over that, but that is a hard boundary for me.

I absolutely respect that my perspective is not one that you've previously encountered, and I admittedly neither have the studies nor the spoons to find them to back up where I talked about how prevalent mental illness and trauma are in contexts relevant to this conversation.

I am firmly against the exact kind of ableism and moralization of intelligence that the point of your post was to address. In that, we are very much on the same side, and it is... really grossly prevalent in our culture and society, both in abled/neurotypical and disabled and neurodivergent spaces. I absolutely agree that there are even people within the "former gifted kid" conversation that do this.

I also personally don't use that label because "gifted kid" and "former gifted kids" were labels forced on me, and forms of violence done to me. I have only ever used them in reference to other people calling me such.

I disagree that most people who do use the label actually think others are less deserving of respect or basic existence in general, or that it's even about other people for most of them at all. I hope you'll also consider what that label can mean for those it was used against, beyond just a "superiority complex" over people it was never about and who often weren't even a factor.

And we do agree that in either case, effectively fighting that ableism and stigma around (lack of) intelligence is the most important thing. That's the most important thing, I think.

Their reply:

(Plaintext: Their reply:)

it's not appropriate to bring up such personal traumas on someone else's unrelated post such as grooming. also sorry you're assumptions about me are wrong

also block me because i don't wanna talk to someone who is "proship"

maybe delete your reblog too. i'd hate for other proshit people to interact with me

My reply: 

(Plaintext: My reply:)

Ah, so a label we use to indicate we are against harassment over fiction and against censorship is apparently enough to tell us we are not allowed to share our opinion on something that does affect us.

Also, personal traumas being used as a point of comparison, being directly related by a person who has experienced both, are not inappropriate. I tagged the post according to what I brought up that might be triggering, but my trauma from grooming is wholly relevant as something that, like my being treated as a gifted kid, was treated as less serious than other traumas I've been through in a way that seriously hurt me.

You don't get to start a conversation with an uncharitable and frankly somewhat ableist narrative about (other people's?) trauma and then define what trauma is palatable enough to be related for survivors themselves, nor what survivors are themselves morally "pure" enough to have a voice in the conversation.

Finally, it's on you to block if you do not want to interact further. I have blocked, but I will not delete a reply to a post I made about something entirely unrelated to shipping discourse, that never broached the topic of shipping discourse, because you don't like survivors being against something that is typically used to censor them talking anout their experiences.

Ironically, if you blocked me, it would make me unable to reblog this, AND unable to see your little comments about what you think are acceptable boundaries around what other people can discuss and what other people can believe when having an unrelated conversation with you at all.

Anyway honestly, I'm leery of making fun of reading comprehension because I think it can be really ableist. But clearly this is an example of the people who use the term "proshit" not bothering to actually read or even try to understand other perspectives. I will make a separate version of my reply and original context so people can further comment without getting harassed by OP or people they follow - don't worry, with OPs username redacted and everything - but weirdly, it's almost as if very few people who claim to be fundamentally anti-harassment will bother them when they wave a giant red flag saying "I do not use a label or interact with people who use a label that means 'we believe harassment is wrong'."

One of those groups is dangerous, and it's not the people saying "hey, don't tell other people to kill themselves because they can tell the difference between what's moral in real life and what's okay to depict and engage with in media".

Obvious statement to leave OP alone is obvious. They're already blocked, so they won't see this. They have a right to ask me to take down my response. I have a right to refuse. If they block me, it will no longer show up in notes, but if you wish to circulate my version, I'd suggest either blocking them first or doing it with the alt version I will put up. I encourage people to block OP for their own safety, more than anything, to avoid harassment, since it seems they may harass you if you interact and have views on shipping discourse they disagree with.

OP, you don't get to have a monopoly on the conversation on "former gifted kids", a subset of traumatized largely neurodivergent people, though, just because you find something to attack about anyone who disagrees with you.

I also don't know what assumptions I made that are wrong. That you may or may not have been labeled a gifted kid, which I acknowledged I didn't know? Or that you find effectively addressing ableism to be the most important part of this conversation. Because if it's the latter, you should be sorry, but I don't accept your apology. Care more about actual marginalized people being hurt than your moral superiority complex, be better, then maybe you'll have actually done the work of changing your actions to earn forgiveness.

If it's about something else - something I said I "hoped" you'd do or similar, I'm lost. Go learn what appropriate boundaries actually are and when you're just weaponizing therapeutic language to control other people somewhere else.

Oh and OP, if you block evade and see this: you can still block us on desktop. If you navigate to settings and blocked users, you can add our username to the field there to block us. It's a bit of an extra step, now that we've blocked you, but we don't mind helping you maintain a boundary that is your responsibility to maintain.

We have redacted OPs username to keep the larger conversation from reaching them. It is easy to find them due to our original response being kept up, but of course we ask that they be left alone, blocked at most. I would honestly prefer if people circulated this version.

Also, I'm now wondering if the "assumptions" in question were us saying "hey IF you think this, you PROBABLY need to examine these other things". We wouldn't be surprised. We also note that we neglected to tag grooming specifically on the original post, likely as a result of the exact problem of just categorizing it as a subtype of SA, which isn't wholly accurate. That's on us, and we have added the tag to this version. That is, however, why we had the "ask to tag" and "ask to tw" tags on the original post.

#ableism #neuroableism #suicide mention #cw suicide mention #tw suicide mention #burnout #“gifted kid”/“former gifted kid” labels #CSA mention #SA mention #cw CSA mention #cw SA mention #tw CSA mention #tw SA mention #grooming #cw grooming #tw grooming #ask to tag #ask to tw

[ovaryacted]

My input probably isn't needed, since much more intelligent people have already spoken on this, but here are my two cents:

Dark content is okay. It is totally fine if you take interest to it and like it. However, there's a BIG difference between dark content and straight up crimes. Incest and stepcest? Morally and ethically questionable at best, straight up wrong at worst. Not my cup of tea, in fact, I find them very repulsive. But someone else might like it and that's alright - as long as both characters are consenting adults.

What isn't okay is rape and pedophilia. I've seen a rise in both in all fandoms recently, Resident Evil and Call of Duty being ones that hurt me the most. I don't know what's causing it, but it needs to stop ASAP. The first blog I ever followed on Tumblr turned this way recently, and I was so disappointed and sad. A person who used to write eye-catching stories and amazingly written smut turned out to be someone who now almost exclusively writes non-con. It hurt me to press that unfollow button. Rape is never okay and should never be romanticized. People need to accept that.

Pedophilia? Y'all are just disgusting for that. There are young and impressionable people on this app, and no amount of minors DNI warnings will make them go away, because they're hormonal kids and they like what is forbidden. I know from my own experience, I was very much underage when I first started Wattpad, then AO3, then Tumblr. I read smut at the age I shouldn't have. Thankfully, I was a bit more self aware and emotionally mature than mist people my age, so I ended up fine, thank God. I knew what was kinky and what was wrong and the distinction between the two.

But the vast majority of kids aren't like that, and when they read fanfics that romanticize grooming, pedophilia and rape, they will get the impression those things are normal IRL and it's okay to do them and/or it's okay if it's done to you. SOME OF Y'ALL'S WRITING IS ACTIVELY PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE ***AND MINORS*** IN DANGER, AND THAT SHOULD NEVER ***EVER*** BE NORMALIZED, ***YOU SHOULD STOP***!!!

I know this isn't what I usually leave in your inbox, nic, but this needs to be talked about every chance we get, because it's unfortunately getting normalized to sexualize minors and victims :(

Y'all stay safe out there, please <<3

-🌑

Hey New Moon anon honey, I've missed you and thought about you recently. I saw this when you first sent it to me, and I've been meaning to answer this for a while as well as my other messages in my inbox but I was just so exhausted as a whole I couldn't give you a proper answer. But I have enough brain power now to respond lol.

First, I do appreciate and value your input, I agree with everything you said and also relate to you heavily. I was also in the COD fandom for a while when I first came on to Tumblr before I formally transitioned into the RE fandom, and I saw that same trend with people who wrote for Ghost & Konig in particular. I can write essays on the correlation of the fantasy behind sexual violence and military propaganda but then we'd be here all day. It's also difficult to read characters that have a canon history of sexual abuse (Ghost/Simon Riley) inflict that same level of harm onto other characters even if it's fictional. There are a lot of layers to violence and aggression in sexual culture, particularly in environments where the military is involved since that's something people who are in the military go through, but I don't want to dwell on that too much.

Personally, being someone who started engaging in sexual content and material at a very young age because I got too curious on the internet, I know how dangerous it can be. I know how it can fuck with your head when you see something online and get too engaged in it that you want to recreate it out of curiosity. Minors often have this experience, especially when they reach an age where they want to replicate or mimic what they consume. It happens at all ages, it’s not their fault, and with the hormones that run through their bodies, it's inevitable. That's why I'm emphasizing just being safe on the internet with what we as creators release to be shared and spread around when we live in an age of unrestricted internet access across all platforms regardless of how hard you try to use filters and warnings.

I hope that at some point, the content we see when it comes to smut writing or writing as a whole kind of calms down in the RE fandom, but until then all you can do is block tags, spread awareness, and keep it pushing.

#ovaryacted asks #₊˚⊹♡ ─ my new moon anon 🌑

[aethxr-ash]

Hi I saw your other matchups and I also wanted to submit a personality matchup for genshin and ouran? Thanks so much! 🖤

Name: Nish

She/her

Male preference

Gemini Sun, scorpio moon, Virgo rising

INTJ 3w4 (however I looked at my functions and my 2 dominant functions match the order for INTJ but my other 2 match ENTP. So really I’m INTJ/ENTP 3w4.)

Personality: I tend to act very arrogant and cocky as a defense mechanism. I don't like being vulnerable with people because it's not their job to worry about my problems. I come across very calm and collected and people rely on me for advice but can't let myself depend on anyone. I'm really analytical and am good at finding loopholes and working around problems under pressure. I'm not good with emotional support and can come across a little cold because of that. Under everything I think I'm very kind but feel like I burden people with my presence a lot of times. I'm a very eye for an eye person and the way I treat people entirely depends on how they treat me. I can either be really sweet or do horrible things if they deserve it. I'm not that expressive (outwardly at least because I'm actually really emotional I just hide it well) and have a hard time relaxing or enjoying things because I've been conditioned to always consider how it will look on mine and my family's reputation. I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to very high standards. I look intimidating but I'm actually just socially awkward and suck at small talk (because it seems kind of pointless to me). I also have a short temper but there's only certain specific people that can get me to actually lose my patience and explode. I don't cry or break down in front of people and people usually think I'm perfectly fine. I constantly chase perfection for myself and try to be the most idealized version of myself. I tend to act completely different in different situations because I know what personality is going to get me the best results and praise. It’s exhausting but I’d be worse off if I didn’t hold myself to these standards. In order for me to like or fall in love someone I first have to actually have a certain level of respect for them which must be earned. In the “for to know” stage I subtly test the person a lot to see how they react or respond to certain things. It’s like a test they don’t know his happening but that will determine if our relationship is gonna go further. My love language is giving gifts but I’m not sure what my love language to receive is.

Hobbies/Likes: I love fashion and I've been a model since I was 14, I used to do pageants as a kid, I make my own music and music is probably the thing I love the most. It's really what I use to process the world so music is definitely the way to my heart. I can't play any instruments but I can sing and do digital music production (Self promo but I actually just released my first song yay link.) I'm a good artist but I don't like doing it on a deadline (I took an AP art class back in high school and didn't draw for 2 years after it cuz I hated being forced to draw. It's like when something you like becomes a chore) I've gotten back into drawing recently tho. I've also been doing martial arts since I was 7 + fencing. I'm good at chess and poker and made money from playing/betting on games when I was younger. I also love reading. The personality types I tend to be attracted to are other INTJS, ESTPS, ISTPS, ENTPS, ENTJS, ENFJS, ESTJS but if I didn’t explicitly say I hate a certain personality type (ESFPS) it’s fair game.

Dislikes: Misogyny (when people especially men undermine my intelligence and experience and end up making a mistake I warned them about only to listen when another man repeats the same thing I’ve been saying since the beginning) , big egos with nothing to back it up, people who can’t keep up with me (I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone whose hand I have to hold all the time. They need to be on the same level/wavelength as me and not drag me down), being a coward and not standing up for your own beliefs/motives, people that are way too nice (whoever I end up with has to have a mean streak because it shows they are able to take action when needed), being self absorbed and not considering the consequences of your actions. People who have a moral superiority complex that think they're better than me for not wanting to break rules to get what they want. People who can't take responsibility for what they do (Everything I do is on purpose so even if it's a bad thing I'll admit to it because whatever happens as a result is no one's problem but my own). Although I will say there's sometimes an exception to these things depending on the person and situation. Personality wise I do not get along with ESFPS and INTPS. In my experience I find ESFPS too self absorbed and frankly just loud and annoying and INTPS seem so fearful no matter how much adobe I try to give they never take action. It’s disappointing. A lot of INTPS I know also have that moral superiority complex that I mentioned.

I don’t want to be paired with Honey but other then that I can’t think of anyone else.

⊱┊personality matchup for @leonardhoee !

hi !! i'm sorry this took so long. you seem like such a cool person ^^ i hope you enjoy this !

⊱┊ genshin impact

yelan !

✧ she'll deal with all the social aspects, don't worry

✧ entp !

✧ she admires all your skills - modeling, fashion, music, martial arts, you name it

✧ including gambling, loves to have you by her side for that

✧ she also hates misogyny, getting a fair share of it in her job when people don't expect her to be as skilled as she is

✧ she loves sticking it to the man though lmao

✧ she knows how to be on her own quite well

✧ knows how to stand up for herself

✧ she'll take you out to bars and casinos for dates if you're into that !

⊱┊ ouran highschool host club

ritsu kasanoda !

✧ he's a bit brash and hotheaded but he's also sweet

✧ you just have to unlock that side of him in time

✧ isfp !

✧ he thinks you're amazing

✧ will fight anyone for you

✧ he loves to watch you sing / play instruments, he thinks you look adorable and confident when you do so

✧ he'll run his fingers through your hair (if you like that) <3

#aethxr's matchups #anons welcome #requests open #matchups #matchups open #genshin impact #ouran high school host club #ouran matchups #ouran highschool host club matchups #ouran koukou hosuto kurabu #genshin matchups #genshin impact matchups #yelen genshin impact #yelen #ritsu kasanoda

[existingispetty]

Hi! I was wondering if I could get a Tokyo revengers and haikyuu matchup? Thank you🖤🖤

She/her

Male preference

Gemini Sun scorpio moon Virgo rising

Personality: INTJ 3w4. I tend to act very arrogant and cocky as a defense mechanism. I don't like being vulnerable with people because it's not their job to worry about my problems. I come across very calm and collected and people rely on me for advice but can't let myself depend on anyone. I'm really analytical and am good at finding loopholes and working around problems under pressure. I'm not good with emotional support and can come across a little cold because of that. Under everything I think I'm very kind but feel like I burden people with my presence a lot of times. I'm a very eye for an eye perso and the way I treat people entirely depends on how they treat me. I'm not that expressive (outwardly at least because I'm actually really emotional I just hide it well) and have a hard time relaxing or enjoying things because I've been conditioned to always consider how it will look on mine and my family's reputation. I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to very high standards. I look intimidating but I'm actually just socially awkward and suck at small talk (because it seems kind of pointless to me). I also have a short temper but there's only certain specific people that can get me to actually lose my patience and explode. I don't cry or break down in front of people and people usually think I'm perfectly fine. I constantly chase perfection for myself and try to be the most idealized version of myself. I tend to act completely different in different situations because I know what personality is going to get me the best results and praise. It's exhausting but I'd be worse off if I didn't hold myself to these standards. In order for me to like or fall in love with someone I first have to actually have a certain level of respect for them which must be earned. In the “get to know" stage I subtly test the person a lot to see how they react or respond to certain things. It's like a test they don't know is happening but that will determine if our relationship is gonna go further. My love language is giving gifts but I'm not sure what my love language to receive is.

Hobbies/Likes: I love fashion and I've been a model since I was 14, I used to do pageants as a kid. I’ve also designed some of my own stuff and had a fashion show but I realized I was more into music than being a designer. I make my own music and music is probably the thing I love the most. It's really what I use to process the world so music is definitely the way to my heart. I can't play any instruments but I can sing and do digital music production. (I've always wanted to be in a rock band). I'm a good artist but I don't like doing it on a deadline (I took an AP art class back in high school and didn't draw for 2 years after it cuz I hated being forced to draw. It's like when something you like becomes a chore). I've gotten back into drawing recently tho. I've also been doing martial arts since I was 7 + fencing. I'm good at chess and poker and made money from playing/betting on games when I was younger. I also love reading and I’m a good writer.

Dislikes: Misogyny (when people especially men undermine my intelligence and experience and end up making a mistake I warned them about only to listen when another man repeats the same thing l've been saying since the beginning), big egos with nothing to back it up, people who can't keep up with me (I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone whose hand I have to hold all the time. They need to be on the same level/wavelength as me and not drag me down), being a coward and not standing up for your own beliefs/motives, people that are way too nice (whoever I end up with has to have a mean streak because it shows they are able to take action when needed), being self absorbed and not considering the consequences of your actions. People who have a moral superiority complex that think they're better than me for not wanting to break rules to get what they want. People who can't take responsibility for what they do (Everything I do is on purpose so even if it's a bad thing I'll admit to it because whatever happens as a result is no one's problem but my own). Although I will say there's sometimes an exception to these things depending on the person and situation. Personality wise I do not get along with ESFPS and INTPS. In my experience I find ESFPS too self absorbed and frankly just loud and annoying and INTPS seem so fearful no matter how much adobe I try to give they never take action. It's disappointing. A lot of INTPS I know also have that moral superiority complex that I mentioned.

Hello! Thank you very much for the ask but, I would like to mention that you already requested for a Tokyo Revengers matchup! Therefore I did haikyuu and not Tokyo Revengers. I do hope you enjoy it and have a good day/night!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Your matchup is…(insert anti-climactic drum roll*)

Toru Oikawa

Both you and him have quite the similar morals and reasoning. Oikawa is very insecure about all his faults yet, he hides it underneath this confident mask. Oikawa isn’t big on people seeing the true him so he hates spilling emotions to others. Oikawa would be shock and very unhelpful if you were to spill out your troubles to him. I wouldn’t expect Oikawa to ask you for advice much to the the podium he has placed himself on. Oikawa may not praise rivals much but, those that are close to him get praised quite well actually.Oikawa is almost too expensive at times but he is constantly around those that don’t express emotions in the most normal of ways. Oikawa does constantly charm people around him both through smarts and looks.  High standards? Oikawa can most definitely relate. Oikawa is especially good at interacting with those that struggle to make conversation since he talk so much. Oikawa would defiantly notice you have a short temper therefore he would definitely be more well behaved around you. Oikawa is always worried for your well being but he always disregards his own when worrying over you. Oikawa is very patient when he actually finds someone that catches his eye. Oikawa may receive plenty of gifts from Fangirl but your gifts mean so much more to him.  

Oikawa models from time to time due to his volleyball steer.  Oikawa may be a little critical but he still loves to listen and give some of his opinion of his music. Oikawa can play many instruments found in an orchestra but he can also play a bit of drums and guitar. Oikawa loves to make very petty bets with any person that will agree. Oikawa has learned through experience that woman are just as  capable as men. Oikawas ego is very limited to people that doubt him and his abilities. Oikawa does sound like a pretty terrible guy on paper but once you get closer to him the ego talk and bragging goes down by a whole 99%.

#matchup #haikyuu!! #haikyuu matchups

[glitchcel]

Hashtag low empathy personality disorder autistic evil person rant under the cut cw um at one point I briefly mention self harm and uuuuh suicide baiting at one point

I have this friend who I really really love but I can't stand listening to him talking about his problems. It drives me fucking nuts not because he treats me like a therapist or whatever but because he acts like his problems are completely unique experiences and no one's ever lived through that before and it's espetially insulting because I went through the same thing a few years ago and he just fucking ignores that. Like it feels as if he's not taking me seriously or thinks I'm lying whenever I say that I went through the same thing and it's so EXHAUSTING. Like

"Ugh I'm so burnt out and anxious I can't even respond to messages."

"I know, the same thing happened to me. I got over the burnout eventually, things never got better I just learned to live with it. You'll get better too, I'm your friend I'm here for you."

"Fair, but I *proceeds to reword the statement so it somehow sounds like a different thing*"

This was a few months back now it's all about how he NEEDS to be student of the generation like he'll kill himself if he's doesn't get it and at this point I genuinely wholeheartedly hope he doesn't get it because maybe it will give him a fucking reality check this shit's so tiring to me I get treated like a complete and utter idiot, both on a personal level and academically like literally fuck you. I can't stand this espetially because he's one of like five people who I've opened up to about how debilitating my anxiety is, how I physical symptoms next to mental ones, how I have to go to a cardiologist regularly because my HEART begins to act up because of how bad it is. Like it's genuinely a fucking disability. And on top of that I experience psychosis like I'm not fully lucid all the time one time I sliced my fucking leg open because I needed to check I was real. Yeah no fucking shit I get frozen before important events and competitions and my results are not a reflection of my actual intelligence and knowledge. And he'll be the nicest person on planet Earth all like "Oh it's okay you were sick." BUT I CAN TELL I CAN FUCKING TELL even when we're talking about things that are in my area of expertise he'll start explaining very basic shit to me. I can tell you think I'm dumber than you. I have eyes, ears, and a brain dude. And he'll say sorry but then he'll turn around and say "If I'm not the best I'll kill myself" FUCKING DO IT THEN JESUS CHRIST I KNOW YOU WON'T it's so fucking exhausting listening to this hashtag gifted kid burnout song and dance when I went through it years ago and am now supposed to pretend like it's the worst thing ever and oh no mine actually wasn't that bad because I'm clearly stupider than you please go on. And this is one of my best friends I know this he genuinely cares about me despite me making him sound like the worst person on Earth, we get along, we have fun he's a good friend but this is just incredibly tiring and I'm SCARED I'll say something I'll regret at this point I've learned I can't listen to myself when I'm mad have a nearly 100% regret rate there but it's TIRING and I genuinely don't think I can do this for much longer.

#sorry i needed to get it out of my system ik no one gaf

[sweatycatprince]

Corgi Dog Breeds: Characteristics & Care Tips For You

 The Corgi is a breed of dog that was made to herd cattle, sheep, and horses. They are smart and active. Pembrokes are great with kids and other animals because they are eager to learn and easy to train. They have four different colours and marks on their coats.

Even though these dogs are purebreds, they might end up in shelters or with rescue groups. Don't forget to think about adopting or fostering. Do not go shopping if you want to bring a dog home.

Getting started

Corgis, especially the Pembroke Welsh Corgi and the Cardigan Welsh Corgi, are well-known dog breeds known for their unique looks, high levels of energy, and friendly personalities. Even though they are small, they have a long history of herding and make great pets for many homes.

Corgis have become more popular for many reasons, such as:

Their small legs, long bodies, and facial expressions give them a unique and appealing look.

They were trained to herd sheep in the beginning, and their intelligence and natural tendency to herd make them interesting working dogs.

They are known for how close they are to their owners and how loyal, loving, and protective they are.

Size: They are small, but they are flexible and can live in different places, like apartments and bigger houses.

The past

Pembroke, Wales The breed came from Welsh Corgis and Cardigans. Welsh Corgis were used to herd cattle, sheep, and other animals in Wales, where they were from. They've been helping farmers make a living as reliable and quick herders for a long time.

Differences from other Corgi breeds: Pembroke and Cardigan are the two main types of Corgis. They look similar in some ways, but their bodies, clothes, and where they came from in the past are all very different.

Things that make up

Corgis have short legs, long torsos, and bodies that are low to the ground. They have fox-like heads, with ears that stand up and faces that show how they feel.

They are smart, always on the lookout, and quick to act. They really want to make their owners happy and enjoy being part of a family.

Most of the time, they are friendly, loving, and loyal. If you teach them how, they can be good with kids and other pets.

Pembroke Welsh Theyt are about 10 to 12 inches (25 to 30 cm) tall at the shoulders, while Cardigan Welsh Corgis are a bit bigger.

Most of the Their weight is between 11 and 14 kilogrammes (25 to 30 pounds), with Cardigans being a bit heavier.

Lifespan: A Corgi usually lives between 12 and 15 years, but this depends on things like its genes and how well it is cared for.

Training and getting to know people

Early training and socialisation are important because they teach Corgis how to behave around people and other dogs, as well as how to follow basic commands.

Corgis respond well to positive interactions, like getting treats, praise, and rewards.

Common behaviour problems and how to handle them:

If they don't get enough exercise and mental stimulation, they might act up. By giving your dog regular physical and mental challenges, you can stop problems like too much barking or bad behaviour.

Taking care of things

Common Diseases and Symptoms: Some of the health problems Corgis can get are hip dysplasia, degenerative myelopathy, and eye problems. It's important to take your pet to the vet often.

Dietary Needs: It's important for them to eat a balanced diet that meets all of their nutritional needs. You can find out what to feed your pet by talking to a vet.

Even though Corgis are small, they are very active dogs that need to be walked every day so they don't get fat and so their minds don't get bored.

Grooming and Hygiene: They need to be brushed often to keep their double coat from shedding. They need to be bathed, have their nails trimmed, and have their teeth cleaned for their overall health.

When it comes to breeding and having children, good practises put the health of both the parents and the children first. Breeders who do things the right way check the health of their animals and make sure they are getting the right care.

Where to buy or adopt: Responsible breeders who put the welfare of the breed first and follow good breeding practises are suggested. It is kind to adopt pets from animal shelters and rescue groups.

Popular Culture and the Corgi

Corgis are well-known because Queen Elizabeth II and other members of the British royal family have had them for a long time.

Corgis have been in a lot of movies and TV shows, most of the time as cute and loyal pets.

Corgis are often shown as happy, cute characters in the media, with a focus on their unique looks and great personalities.

In the end,

In the end, Corgis are popular because they look cute, are very active, and are very close to their owners. Even though in the past they were used to herd animals, they make great family pets because they are friendly and loyal. Taking care of their health through training, care, and socialisation will make it a pleasure to live with one of these cute dogs.

[kellieblog]

Corgi Dog Breeds: Characteristics & Care Tips For You

 The Corgi is a breed of dog that was made to herd cattle, sheep, and horses. They are smart and active. Pembrokes are great with kids and other animals because they are eager to learn and easy to train. They have four different colours and marks on their coats.

Even though these dogs are purebreds, they might end up in shelters or with rescue groups. Don't forget to think about adopting or fostering. Do not go shopping if you want to bring a dog home.

Getting started

Corgis, especially the Pembroke Welsh Corgi and the Cardigan Welsh Corgi, are well-known dog breeds known for their unique looks, high levels of energy, and friendly personalities. Even though they are small, they have a long history of herding and make great pets for many homes.

Corgis have become more popular for many reasons, such as:

Their small legs, long bodies, and facial expressions give them a unique and appealing look.

They were trained to herd sheep in the beginning, and their intelligence and natural tendency to herd make them interesting working dogs.

They are known for how close they are to their owners and how loyal, loving, and protective they are.

Size: They are small, but they are flexible and can live in different places, like apartments and bigger houses.

The past

Pembroke, Wales The breed came from Welsh Corgis and Cardigans. Welsh Corgis were used to herd cattle, sheep, and other animals in Wales, where they were from. They've been helping farmers make a living as reliable and quick herders for a long time.

Differences from other Corgi breeds: Pembroke and Cardigan are the two main types of Corgis. They look similar in some ways, but their bodies, clothes, and where they came from in the past are all very different.

Things that make up

Corgis have short legs, long torsos, and bodies that are low to the ground. They have fox-like heads, with ears that stand up and faces that show how they feel.

They are smart, always on the lookout, and quick to act. They really want to make their owners happy and enjoy being part of a family.

Most of the time, they are friendly, loving, and loyal. If you teach them how, they can be good with kids and other pets.

Pembroke Welsh Theyt are about 10 to 12 inches (25 to 30 cm) tall at the shoulders, while Cardigan Welsh Corgis are a bit bigger.

Most of the Their weight is between 11 and 14 kilogrammes (25 to 30 pounds), with Cardigans being a bit heavier.

Lifespan: A Corgi usually lives between 12 and 15 years, but this depends on things like its genes and how well it is cared for.

Training and getting to know people

Early training and socialisation are important because they teach Corgis how to behave around people and other dogs, as well as how to follow basic commands.

Corgis respond well to positive interactions, like getting treats, praise, and rewards.

Common behaviour problems and how to handle them:

If they don't get enough exercise and mental stimulation, they might act up. By giving your dog regular physical and mental challenges, you can stop problems like too much barking or bad behaviour.

Taking care of things

Common Diseases and Symptoms: Some of the health problems Corgis can get are hip dysplasia, degenerative myelopathy, and eye problems. It's important to take your pet to the vet often.

Dietary Needs: It's important for them to eat a balanced diet that meets all of their nutritional needs. You can find out what to feed your pet by talking to a vet.

Even though Corgis are small, they are very active dogs that need to be walked every day so they don't get fat and so their minds don't get bored.

Grooming and Hygiene: They need to be brushed often to keep their double coat from shedding. They need to be bathed, have their nails trimmed, and have their teeth cleaned for their overall health.

When it comes to breeding and having children, good practises put the health of both the parents and the children first. Breeders who do things the right way check the health of their animals and make sure they are getting the right care.

Where to buy or adopt: Responsible breeders who put the welfare of the breed first and follow good breeding practises are suggested. It is kind to adopt pets from animal shelters and rescue groups.

Popular Culture and the Corgi

Corgis are well-known because Queen Elizabeth II and other members of the British royal family have had them for a long time.

Corgis have been in a lot of movies and TV shows, most of the time as cute and loyal pets.

Corgis are often shown as happy, cute characters in the media, with a focus on their unique looks and great personalities.

In the end,

In the end, Corgis are popular because they look cute, are very active, and are very close to their owners. Even though in the past they were used to herd animals, they make great family pets because they are friendly and loyal. Taking care of their health through training, care, and socialisation will make it a pleasure to live with one of these cute dogs.

#dog breed

[greatkoalafire]

I don’t understand the conspiracy theories today and why so many seemingly reasonable people get sucked into them. I get Christianity. That institution has had a long time to perfect how to infect a vulnerable person with their saccharine, fairytale philosophy. They prey on people the way drug dealers do. And when someone is hooked they use it the same way a junkie uses heroin. Whenever they feel out of control they pray just like when an addict feels out of control they use.

But I don’t get how someone with even a little intelligence can hear something as absurd as Qanon and have something click in their head that says “yeah, that makes sense”. It is so beyond the pale that I fundamentally can’t relate or empathize. It’s kind of like going to a really terrible kids movie and you don’t know why any of it is funny but your child is laughing hysterically. In that moment you can’t even bring yourself to that level to understand it because it’s beneath you. It’s difficult not to judge a person for it even though you fight yourself to not call them an idiot in your head.

Or put a different way, it’s like if a neighbor told you they bought a genuine piece of an alien spaceship on eBay. How do you respond that isn’t going to offend them but not betray your own sense of basic reality and logic? That’s pretty much why I don’t talk to that many people anymore. You never know what kind of inane bullshit they are going to throw at you.

[hellcatrising]

Hi! I wanted to submit my info for a Bleach matchup

Personality: INTJ 3w4. I tend to act very arrogant and cocky as a defense mechanism. I don't like being vulnerable with people because it's not their job to worry about my problems. I come across very calm and collected and people rely on me for advice but can't let myself depend on anyone. I'm really analytical and am good at finding loopholes and working around problems under pressure. I'm not good with emotional support and can come across a little cold because of that. Under everything I think I'm very kind but feel like I burden people with my presence a lot of times. I'm a very eye for an eye perso and the way I treat people entirely depends on how they treat me. I'm not that expressive (outwardly at least because I'm actually really emotional I just hide it well) and have a hard time relaxing or enjoying things because I've been conditioned to always consider how it will look on mine and my family's reputation. I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to very high standards. I look intimidating but I'm actually just socially awkward and suck at small talk (because it seems kind of pointless to me). I also have a short temper but there's only certain specific people that can get me to actually lose my patience and explode. I don't cry or break down in front of people and people usually think I'm perfectly fine. I constantly chase perfection for myself and try to be the most idealized version of myself. I tend to act completely different in different situations because I know what personality is going to get me the best results and praise. It's exhausting but I'd be worse off if I didn't hold myself to these standards. In order for me to like or fall in love with someone I first have to actually have a certain level of respect for them which must be earned. In the “get to know" stage I subtly test the person a lot to see how they react or respond to certain things. It's like a test they don't know his happening but that will determine if our relationship is gonna go further. My love language is giving gifts but I'm not sure what my love language to receive is. Some negative traits are I try to handle everything alone, I have a big ego, and and I can be kind of mean. If I’m really invested in a competition all bets are off and I will literally do whatever I have to do to win because I believe things don’t just happen within the bounds of the rules. If I’m smart enough to bend the situation in my favor it’s fair game. Whoever I’m with is just gonna have to be able to handle that tho because even though they’re objectively negative traits, the only thing I see as negative is things that make me feel weak. I know my limits but under no circumstances can I appear weak. Since I was raised to value strength the most (if you’re strong you deserve to exist -my dad LMAO) that feels like the worst possible thing that can happen to me. I have to be the smartest and strongest person in the room always. I’d rather be hated than be weak. Whoever I end up with will also have to be very emotionally intelligent and persistent because I have a habit of pushing people away especially if I like them so it’s gonna take some work to get me to not be so prickly and guarded anymore. I kind of have a guilty until proven attitude when it comes to live so I always assume the worst and don’t trust people.

Hobbies/Likes: I love fashion and I've been a model since I was 14, I used to do pageants as a kid, I make my own music and music is probably the thing I love the most. It's really what I use to process the world so music is definitely the way to my heart. I can't play any instruments but I can sing and do digital music production. (I've always wanted to be in a rock band) I'm a good artist but I don't like doing it on a deadline (I took an AP art class back in high school and didn't draw for 2 years after it cuz I hated being forced to draw. It's like when something you like becomes a chore) I've gotten back into drawing recently tho. I've also been doing martial arts since I was 7 + fencing. I'm good at chess and poker and made money from playing/betting on games when I was younger. I also love reading.

Dislikes: Misogyny (when people especially men undermine my intelligence and experience and end up making a mistake I warned them about only to listen when another man repeats the same thing l've been saying since the beginning), big egos with nothing to back it up, people who can't keep up with me (I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone whose hand I have to hold all the time. They need to be on the same level/wavelength as me and not drag me down), being a coward and not standing up for your own beliefs/motives, people that are way too nice (whoever I end up with has to have a mean streak because it shows they are able to take action when needed), being self absorbed and not considering the consequences of your actions. People who have a moral superiority complex that think they're better than me for not wanting to break rules to get what they want. People who can't take responsibility for what they do (Everything I do is on purpose so even if it's a bad thing I'll admit to it because whatever happens as a result is no one's problem but my own). Although I will say there's sometimes an exception to these things depending on the person and situation.

Alright I’m sorry this took me a while to get to.... I struggled with this one. I went back and forth on it so just hear me out ok.... I’m actually a tiny bit jealous that I matched you with Byakuya  JUST HEAR ME OUT ok.........

It did NOT work out at first. I can see you HATING his guts at first because the two of you are very similar... In good ways and bad ways...But if you don’t know him, he’s literally everything you hate until you understand him a bit better. Neither of you really cared for each other’s company. He didn’t really mind being around you, but his coldness and the whole superiority thing he’s got going on.... Yeah, didn’t work. But social situations eventually forced the two of you to interact. Because you’re so much alike, other people have a similar way of avoiding the two of you - because both of you seem like you would be intimidating.  Not in a bad way, just in a way that demands respect. So this meant a lot of awkward moments together....alone. Byakuya couldn’t deny that he’d seen similar qualities in you that he had in himself after a while of working with you and once he slowly let down his walls and showed you what was inside and what his true intentions were, things started to take off. Talk about a SLOW BURN though. He’s pretty cut and dry and to the point so he could see through the tests you put out really quick and he addressed it fairly quickly. This forwardness could be taken either way, but from reading what you’ve written, I don’t think you would be taking it the wrong way? Byakuya appreciates the fact that you have a more mature way of going about things and he can certainly appreciate someone who holds themselves to a high standard, just don’t over do it to the point of exhaustion. He will make sure you get proper rest. He also appreciates your interests, music isn’t something he does, but he enjoys yours and he certainly enjoys your art. He likes to sit and do his calligraphy while you draw, this is quality time and it’s most certainly one of his love languages. He’s built up some pretty strong walls so every now and then he catches himself, being too distant or not communicating very well, and when he does catch himself he is quick to apologize to you.

#bleach match up #byakuya kuchiki #manda's matchups

[znitsamluv]

Hi I wanted to send in my info for a tokrev matchup. My pronouns are she/ her and I prefer men for my matchup. I’m also 20.

Personality: INTJ 3w4. I tend to act very arrogant and cocky as a defense mechanism. I don't like being vulnerable with people because it's not their job to worry about my problems. I come across very calm and collected and people rely on me for advice but can't let myself depend on anyone. I'm really analytical and am good at finding loopholes and working around problems under pressure. I'm not good with emotional support and can come across a little cold because of that. Under everything I think I'm very kind but feel like I burden people with my presence a lot of times. I'm a very eye for an eye perso and the way I treat people entirely depends on how they treat me. I'm not that expressive (outwardly at least because I'm actually really emotional I just hide it well) and have a hard time relaxing or enjoying things because I've been conditioned to always consider how it will look on mine and my family's reputation. I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to very high standards. I look intimidating but I'm actually just socially awkward and suck at small talk (because it seems kind of pointless to me). I also have a short temper but there's only certain specific people that can get me to actually lose my patience and explode. I don't cry or break down in front of people and people usually think I'm perfectly fine. I constantly chase perfection for myself and try to be the most idealized version of myself. I tend to act completely different in different situations because I know what personality is going to get me the best results and praise. It's exhausting but I'd be worse off if I didn't hold myself to these standards. In order for me to like or fall in love with someone I first have to actually have a certain level of respect for them which must be earned. In the “get to know" stage I subtly test the person a lot to see how they react or respond to certain things. It's like a test they don't know his happening but that will determine if our relationship is gonna go further. My love language is giving gifts but I'm not sure what my love language to receive is. Some negative traits are I try to handle everything alone, I have a big ego, and and I can be kind of mean. If I’m really invested in a competition all bets are off and I will literally do whatever I have to do to win because I believe things don’t just happen within the bounds of the rules. If I’m smart enough to bend the situation in my favor it’s fair game. Whoever I’m with is just gonna have to be able to handle that tho because even though they’re objectively negative traits, the only thing I see as negative is things that make me feel weak. I know my limits but under no circumstances can I appear weak. That feels like the worst possible thing that can happen to me. I’d rather be hated than be weak. Whoever I end up with will also have to be very emotionally intelligent and persistent because I have a habit of pushing people away especially if I like them so it’s gonna take some work to get me to not be so prickly and guarded anymore. I kind of have a guilty until proven attitude when it comes to live so I always assume the worst and don’t trust people.

Hobbies/Likes: I love fashion and I've been a model since I was 14, I used to do pageants as a kid, I make my own music and music is probably the thing I love the most. It's really what I use to process the world so music is definitely the way to my heart. I can't play any instruments but I can sing and do digital music production. (I've always wanted to be in a rock band) I'm a good artist but I don't like doing it on a deadline (I took an AP art class back in high school and didn't draw for 2 years after it cuz I hated being forced to draw. It's like when something you like becomes a chore) I've gotten back into drawing recently tho. I've also been doing martial arts since I was 7 + fencing. I'm good at chess and poker and made money from playing/betting on games when I was younger. I also love reading.

Dislikes: Misogyny (when people especially men undermine my intelligence and experience and end up making a mistake I warned them about only to listen when another man repeats the same thing l've been saying since the beginning), big egos with nothing to back it up, people who can't keep up with me (I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone whose hand I have to hold all the time. They need to be on the same level/wavelength as me and not drag me down), being a coward and not standing up for your own beliefs/motives, people that are way too nice (whoever I end up with has to have a mean streak because it shows they are able to take action when needed), being self absorbed and not considering the consequences of your actions. People who have a moral superiority complex that think they're better than me for not wanting to break rules to get what they want. People who can't take responsibility for what they do (Everything I do is on purpose so even if it's a bad thing I'll admit to it because whatever happens as a result is no one's problem but my own). Although I will say there's sometimes an exception to these things depending on the person and situation.

Extra Stuff: My main highest kins are Mikey and Ran (TR), Vanitas, Kaguya Shinomia, xiao(Genshin), Yurio (yuri on ice), Vil (twisted wonderland), and Shogo Makishima (Psycho Pass). I am introverted but can appear to be extroverted if need be. I appear very confident but it’s like a “I feel like I’m the worst so I act like I’m the best” situation. I am not very expressive with my emotions and most people’s first impression of me is they find me intimidating and think I look mean. My intelligence is my favorite thing about myself because it’s undeniable and I know no matter what I can think my way out of anything.

Your match is ready!

Your match is naoto tachibana

• How you met .

° You heard you had a new neighbor in the apartment opposite to you but you really didn't think much of it and didn't even know who moved in you just hoped that they won't disturb your peace and quiet.

° It went on for a few weeks until one night you were in grossed in your work when the door bell rang .

° You felt annoyed that someone is knocking at this hour but still opened the door to be met by a stranger

.° Naoto introduced himself as your neighbor and apologized for knocking at this hour and then proceeded to ask if you could give him some salt because he ran out of it .

° you told him to wait for a few seconds and came back with some salt and gave it to him , he took it and gave you a barley noticed smile and thanked you before leaving.

° From that day on every few weeks your door bell will ring at unholy hours just to find Naoto asking for things like pepper and spices.

° one day you got sick from working at home so you decided to change the place so you went to a small cafe nearby, it was your favorite because it served your favorite drink and the prices were good .

° you sat down in your usual spot and opened your laptop and continued working , after a few minutes the door of the cafe opened but you didn't bother looking because it's another customer.

° " Excuse me would you mind if I sat here " you looked at the source of the voice and saw your neighbor.

° You thought for a moment before nodding" Only if you don't disturb me while I work "

° Naoto showed you his laptop bag in his hand indicating that he was going to work too .

° you both didn't even glance at each other the whole time and Naoto left first and when you went to pay for your drink you found out he already paid .

° It should have felt nice but you felt annoyed somehow and Ended up going to his apartment to give him his money .

° He opened the door and said it was ok but in the end you made him take it .

° you were about to get In your apartment when he called you asking you if he could invite you for dinner as an apology.

° you declined saying you were busy but he insisted and said that it was on him for doing something that annoyed you .

° At the end you agreed and the next day you went to have dinner In his apartment.° His apartment was so clean and organized and he had the food already on the table .

° Through out the dinner you didn't talk much Naoto was the one talking and asking questions and you gave him short answers .

° Even though you didn't talk much that didn't annoy Naoto he found you luring and different and wanted to get to know you better so after that everytime he sees you going to work he greets you and now you two usually sit together in the cafe like the first time both of you working and not talking at all and you didn't even plan this out you just go on Monday and he usually goes there too , even days you would go late and he would be already there working on his laptop and you would find your favorite drink already ordered.

• How is your dating life

• Naoto is a really patient man and he never cross the line .

• He went through all of your tests and he succeed in them .

• You are the most beautiful and independent strong woman he ever came across and he respects you for your hard work and self respect and he could rely on you and trusts you with his whole heart that he usually asks you for advice when he is working on a new case .

• you are both usually so stressed because of work so when it is lunch time and you are still working you would find a plate full of delicious food in front of you and Naoto sits in front of you working also , he would give you a small smile before telling you to enjoy your food .

• Whenever you try to push Naoto away he respects you need space but he usually leaves lunch and dinner in front of your door because you usually forget to cook because of work .

• Naoto really loves listening to your music and he encourages you and gives you ideas to new ones and when you usually draw something he would ask if he could take it for a moment and you would get confused but when he comes back he has a printed copy and he has it on his desk so he could look at it when he is working.

• Naoto is your biggest supporter he knows you don't like being seen weak so he doesn't try to baby you instead when he sees you are stressed he would take you on a ride at night with jazz music on the low or he would give you a massage to lower your tension.

• Whenever your competitive side comes out Naoto watches from a far until he sees that you have reached a limit where you are really stressed so he talks to you about working but not overwhelming your self .

• Naoto is not a clingy man so every time in a while he would give you a really quick side hug and whenever he passes by when you are working in your room he pats your head really quickly before running because he knows you might shout at him for intruding your working time .

• Your dates would be simple and elegant like going to Museums and music exhibitions and on your holidays he takes you to a fancy restaurant.

• Naoto also loves playing chess with you even though you win everytime he still plays and hope that he will win one time .

• Naoto never gets annoyed or bored with you, you are different from many people he met and loves you so much and he feels warm inside to know that you have finally warmed up to him and chose to be with him .

• In winter you stay really late when working and sometimes fall asleep and this is Naoto's favorite part were he puts a blanket on you because he knows carrying you will disturb your sleep and kisses your forehead before smiling to himself thinking " How did I get this lucky to have someone like you ".

[fairy-writes]

Hi I wanted to send in my info for a romantic matchup for Tokyo revengers and moriarty the patriot. I have a male preference.

Personality: I tend to act very arrogant and cocky as a defense mechanism. I don't like being vulnerable with people because it's not their job to worry about my problems. I come across very calm and collected and people rely on me for advice but can't let myself depend on anyone. I'm really analytical and am good at finding loopholes and working around problems under pressure. I'm not good with emotional support and can come across a little cold because of that. Under everything I think I'm very kind but feel like I burden people with my presence a lot of times. I'm a very eye for an eye perso and the way I treat people entirely depends on how they treat me. I'm not that expressive (outwardly at least because I'm actually really emotional I just hide it well) and have a hard time relaxing or enjoying things because I've been conditioned to always consider how it will look on mine and my family's reputation. I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to very high standards. I look intimidating but I'm actually just socially awkward and suck at small talk (because it seems kind of pointless to me). I also have a short temper but there's only certain specific people that can get me to actually lose my patience and explode. I don't cry or break down in front of people and people usually think I'm perfectly fine. I constantly chase perfection for myself and try to be the most idealized version of myself. I tend to act completely different in different situations because I know what personality is going to get me the best results and praise. It's exhausting but I'd be worse off if I didn't hold myself to these standards. In order for me to like or fall in love with someone I first have to actually have a certain level of respect for them which must be earned. In the “get to know" stage I subtly test the person a lot to see how they react or respond to certain things. It's like a test they don't know his happening but that will determine if our relationship is gonna go further. My love language is giving gifts but I'm not sure what my love language to receive is. Some negative traits are I try to handle everything alone, I have a big ego, and and I can be kind of mean. If I’m really invested in a competition all bets are off and I will literally do whatever I have to do to win because I believe things don’t just happen within the bounds of the rules. If I’m smart enough to bend the situation in my favor it’s fair game. Whoever I’m with is just gonna have to be able to handle that tho because even though they’re objectively negative traits, the only thing I see as negative is things that make me feel weak. I know my limits but under no circumstances can I appear weak. That feels like the worst possible thing that can happen to me. I’d rather be hated than be weak.

Hobbies/Likes: I love fashion and I've been a model since I was 14, I used to do pageants as a kid, I make my own music and music is probably the thing I love the most. It's really what I use to process the world so music is definitely the way to my heart. I can't play any instruments but I can sing and do digital music production. (I've always wanted to be in a rock band) I'm a good artist but I don't like doing it on a deadline (I took an AP art class back in high school and didn't draw for 2 years after it cuz I hated being forced to draw. It's like when something you like becomes a chore) I've gotten back into drawing recently tho. I've also been doing martial arts since I was 7 + fencing. I'm good at chess and poker and made money from playing/betting on games when I was younger. I also love reading.

Dislikes: Misogyny (when people especially men undermine my intelligence and experience and end up making a mistake I warned them about only to listen when another man repeats the same thing l've been saying since the beginning), big egos with nothing to back it up, people who can't keep up with me (I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone whose hand I have to hold all the time. They need to be on the same level/wavelength as me and not drag me down), being a coward and not standing up for your own beliefs/motives, people that are way too nice (whoever I end up with has to have a mean streak because it shows they are able to take action when needed), being self absorbed and not considering the consequences of your actions. People who have a moral superiority complex that think they're better than me for not wanting to break rules to get what they want. People who can't take responsibility for what they do (Everything I do is on purpose so even if it's a bad thing I'll admit to it because whatever happens as a result is no one's problem but my own). Although I will say there's sometimes an exception to these things depending on the person and situation.

Hello lovely! I hope you like your matchups!

Tokyo Revengers Matchup: I pair you with… Ryuguji Ken!

So Draken can also be kind of arrogant and cocky, but it’s more of a front because he doesn’t want to be hurt, and also, he has a gang to help run. You can’t show weakness in a gang, or else you’ll be absolutely destroyed. But slowly, as the two of you get to know each other, the walls come down, and Draken exposes his vulnerabilities to you. Not like in an “I need emotional support” kind of way but in an “I trust you a lot” kind of way.

Draken helps you loosen up! He grew up looking after himself and the women in the brothel he was raised in, so he doesn’t really care about a reputation. Only that his gang is number one and that you are safe and happy. That’s all he really cares about.

He earns your respect by actually saving you from a rival gang when you accidentally wandered in on things you weren’t supposed to see. You were holding your own just fine until it got to be too much, and Draken stepped in when he saw what was happening. You two were just friends at that point, but it wasn’t long after that you started dating. 

Draken thinks it’s so freaking cool that you’re a model! He likes to surprise you with some clothes he thinks you’ll enjoy when he has the money to do so. His favorite, though, is when you wear his black and white jacket. It absolutely drowns you (or it doesn’t, idk how tall you are), and he thinks you look absolutely adorable in it.

Moriarty the Patriot Matchup: I pair you with… William James Moriarty!

William sees through your defense mechanisms immediately (like the arrogant, bombastic person he is) but doesn’t do much with the information unless he really needs to. So while he met you at the school he teaches at (you are a teacher’s assistant), he doesn’t actually get to know you until you accidentally foil one of his plans to kill a corrupt noble. 

He greatly admires your ability to work under pressure and your ability to find loopholes! This makes you one of William’s closest confidants, and he comes to you for help at times when he just can’t seem to figure out a way to do this or that. He also doesn’t need a whole lot of emotional support help, so you’re good in that department, lol. Your eye-for-an-eye type of personality fits right in with the Moriarty and Co. group!

A fellow perfectionist, the two of you produce astounding results in anything you do, and you are greatly admired for that. But that can get tiring after a while, so the two of you learn very quickly how to help each other relax and know that it is indeed okay to make mistakes. The two of you are also alike in that when it comes to competition or something you want, all restraints are gone, and all bets are off.  Both of you listen to a lot of music in your free time and could be considered dates. I’m also pretty sure William can play the piano, so he plays for you a LOT if you’d like him too! It’s a way for him to relax and unwind, and he’s partial to Chopin or Beethoven! He admires your love of fashion, and you two are literally the best-dressed couple I have ever seen. You also both spar with martial arts together and fence (you’re teaching him since he’s never learned how, but he picks things up quickly), so that could also be considered dates! ALSO! Chess dates! Poker dates! The two of you absolutely wipe the ground with anyone you play against (Moran cries, lmao) and have the potential to win a boatload of money if you so wished.

#fairytailwzard matchups #fairytailwzard matchup #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #draken tokyo revengers #draken #tokyo revengers ryuguji ken #ken ryuguji #ryuguji ken #moriarty the patriot #mtp #william james moriarty #moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty #ynm #ynm william

[deadmomjokes]

We watch a little girl about my daughter’s age while her mom works. A real cute, sweet thing who only communicates by humming and smiling and waving. Precious beyond words and so, so gentle.

She has this odd quirk where if you tell her “no,” which has only happened about twice or three times in the month and a half we’ve been watching her, she freezes and looks like you’ve ripped her little heart out and stomped on it. We have since tried to avoid saying it because she looks so upset and scared.

Today we found out why and my heart is breaking.

When her mom dropped her off, the little girl saw our neighbor’s potted plant on the doorstep. She went over and ripped a leaf off, because she’s a child and doesn’t know better. Her mom told her “no” and hit her hands. The girl immediately lost her smile, became very reserved, and didn’t want to come in and play, where usually she bounds up the stairs to see her best friend (my daughter).

Later in the morning, I was watching as our little friend tried to take something out of my daughter’s hands, so I told her “no-no” in a gentle voice, just as I do to my daughter when she’s trying to take something. She jumped back and held her little hands, and looked absolutely terrified. I immediately knelt down to offer a hug and tell her sorry, but she flinched away from me and was scared to let me touch her. So I just talked to her soothingly and eventually put a hand on her arm and rubbed it softly, and she launched herself at my neck to hug me and demanded I hold her off-and-on throughout the rest of the time she was with us today.

This tiny child is afraid of getting her hands hit when she hears the word “no.” It doesn’t leave bruises when her mom does it, it doesn’t even leave visible redness or marks, but it has absolutely left a mark on this tiny baby’s mind.

How is a child supposed to know why they’re not allowed to hit when you hit them? How is a child supposed to know why the person they go to for comfort is suddenly trying to make them uncomfortable and scared? How is fear and pain a teaching tool? And if it’s not about hurting or scaring them, why do you have to hit them at all? Because they don’t like it-- and why don’t they like it? Because their trust in you is being undermined, because they’re afraid, because it hurts in their heart.

This little girl can’t even talk, but she hears one word and instantly freezes up and feels terror because the hands that are supposed to help and comfort and hold her suddenly turn into something scary, and she doesn’t understand why.

My husband and I had a good cry about it, but I’m still just sad, and mad. That sweet little thing who beams and hums and giggles when she sees us in the mornings, who runs up to my daughter and gives her little bunny kisses, who takes my finger and leads me around the house just because she wants me to hang out with her...

Don’t hit kids. Spanking, swatting, whatever you want to call it-- a) it’s been shown to actually increase problem behaviors, and b) it’s wrong. Why do you have to put a hand on a child to teach them? If it hurts, that’s wrong- we don’t hurt people to get what we want. If it doesn’t hurt, then what are you doing it for?

And I guarantee you it does hurt, even if it’s not physical. The look on that little girl’s face is going to haunt me for a long, long time.

Discipline is the goal- teaching, not punishing. And hitting, no matter how soft, doesn’t teach. Rather, if it does, it teaches the wrong things.

#i'm just venting #but it makes me so upset #how dare anyone do that to a child #to another person #if you wouldn't do it to your coworker don't do it to a child #you have to talk and respond differently to a kid because of their intelligence levels sure #but treat them like you would treat a grown person #why is it okay to spank a kid and not your employees? #hitting isn't teaching

[linkspooky]

idk if ur taking asks abt jjk but i was curious on ur thoughts abt gojo i haven’t rlly heard this around but i’ve been thinking abt the fact that gojo desire to basically indoctrinate children to fit his ideal sorcerer society is a bit strange and i saw this on your meta on how the schools only see these kids as tools but doesn’t gojo do the same idk my thoughts are everywhere and i get that gojo was raised in this system so it’s normalised in his eyes but idk gojo’s ideology is lowkey fucked imo and i was curious what u thought

I think Gojo is a product of the same society that raises up kids to be used as tools, and he unintentionally passes that lesson onto his students.Gojo knows that the system is wrong for using kids that way, but he’s such a fundamental part of the system, he doesn’t really know how to overcome it works inside of it instead.  I think what he said to Megumi is pretty telling of how he treats these kids in general, he tells him you better get strong or else you’ll get left behind.” He thinks he’s teaching them what’s best, because that’s how Gojo understands the world works, but at the same time he’s telling a five year old kid if he fails to protect his sister it’s all his fault. 

Gojo teaches his students to “get stronger, get stronger” as a response for all of their problems. He takes responsibility for their development as sorcerers, but nothing else really, and especially not their well-being as individuals. Gojo basically treats his students like mini-adults, friends he can pal around with, and that makes sense if you think about it, he’s raising them all to be political allies.  He’s not really trying to raise a bunch of healthy adults. I think Gojo genuinely does care for these kids and stick out his neck to protect them, and his goal is entirely an altruistic one to prevent the childhoods of other children from getting destroyed like his did. However, Gojo is fatally a selfish person just like Geto is fatally selfless, he doesn’t offer help out of the goodness of his heart, he barters. He always expects something in return from these children.

So, on one level I believe Gojo yes is intentionally using these children. He only extends help when he gets something in return from them, his helps is always conditional on the fact that he’ll gain another ally. However, at the same time I think the problem more lies in the fact that Gojo doesn’t see individual people as individuals, and therefore doesn’t want to pay attention to the indivdual emotions of his students that he ends up using his students this way. He thinks it’s fine. This is how he was used  growing up, but this time, Gojo is using them for good ends instead of a bad one. 

I think Gojo’s inability to take care of their needs as individuals, especially attending to their emotional needs is why Tokyo Students are so strong indivudally, but weak as a group. Gojo’s only interesting in fostering their strength as sorcerers, not their emotional health, or their interpersonal relationships, because he doesn’t view those things as necessary. I mean he’s only had one best friend his whole life, and look at him, he’s fine. 

To give evidence to my argument though, here’s a comparison between the Tokyo Kids and the Kyoto Kids. 

1. Tokyo vs Kyoto

Gojo can be a fantastic teacher when he wants to be, but it requires him paying attention to a student’s individual needs, which he almost never does. When he designs a lesson plan raound Yuji, he does two things that make him better than most Jujutsu Sorcerers already. First, most traditional teachers teach that cursed technique is everything, and would have rejected Yuji outright. Whereas Gojo sees Yuji’s strength as a brawler. He’s willing to go outside the box, and buck tradition to focus on a student’s individual strength and emphasize those rather than telling Yuji he’ll never be a strong sorcerer without strong techniques. The second is he comes up with a method extremely suited to Yuji’s learning style. 

However, I think it’s important to note that Yuji and Gojo are actually really similiar. He’s a really receptive student who hangs off of Gojo’s every word. For Gojo it’s like him teaching a younger version of himself, someone who believes that strength is everything, and wants to become the strongeste to be a pillar of support to others. You don’t really get good teacher points for spending the most time with someone who’s easy to teach.

And even  with Yuji whose really really receptive to Gojo’s highly individual focused learning style, there are several things that Gojo just neglects to teach or even mention. Basic, fundamental things, that every sorcerer should know. 

Nanami has to go out of his way to give Yuji the 101, because Gojo neglected to tell him all the basics. Children are smart of course, especially adolescents who are capable of thinking for themselves, but they also generally know what they’ve been taught up to this point. Yuji is a complete newcomer to the sorcerery world, it makes sense he’d basically be a blank slate having to learn all of this from scratch, but Gojo himself either doesn’t know this, or doesn’t bother with it because it’s too troublesome. He thinks of the kids as miniature adults so, it would make sense that he just assumes they know everything he knows already.

That’s the entire point of introducing Nanami into the story. Gojo teaches Yuji to be a better sorcerer, but not to be an adult, and it’s because he doesn’t really see him as a child to begin with. Gojo thinks becoming a strong sorcerer is the way to teach these kids to be good adults, but he neglects the emotional half of having to teach because Gojo doesn’t deal with emotions well. I mean, even in his training of Yuji, he designs a training method where Gojo doesn’t actually have to be there, and present with him most of the time. He can lock him in a room, and go run off to do Gojo things while Yuji teaches himself. As opposed to a mentor like Nanami who constantly watches and monitors his development. 

This is where we start to get to the comparison with the Kyoto students. Because even in the creaive way Gojo taught Yuji, there were some things that Yuji just learned wrong, and internalized wrong from Gojo’s lesson.

Gojo explained the theory behind Yuji’s divergent fist, but Yuji learned it wrong, because he didn’t understand the way cursed energy flowed through the body. If Gojo was paying attention, he would have caught it and corrected it, but Gojo’s teaching style is sink or swim, let students learn or fall entirely on their own. Whereas, when Todo actually sees Yuji’s flawed divertgent fist, he’s able to point out the problem.

Todo actually acknowledges that there’s a difference between beginners and elite sorcerers, that their’s a learning curve to these things, and rather than leaving Yuji to learn it on his own he guides him through these things. While at the same time, expecting Yuji to figure out some things naturally. Todo never once goes easy on Yuji, I’d say his standards for people are as harsh as Gojo’s. You either learn it or you don’t. You’re either strong or you’re not. However, there’s a distinct difference between Todo and Gojo’s teaching styles, and it’s that Todo is emotionally intelligent, and Gojo is not.

Todo pays attention to people, he notices when they’re off, when they’re going through something, and rather than just ignore it, he almost immediately addresses it and tries to talk them thorugh it. It’s not perfect of course, but having his emotions paid attention to, helps Yuji develop as a person moreso than a sorcerer. 

The Kyoto students have a teacher who pays attention to their individual needs. A teacher who actually teaches. While we may not know much about Utahime as a character yet, you can see the direct impact she has on her students compared to Gojo.

Gojo’s students are individually strong, but weak as a team,. Utahime’s students are much weaker individually, but can come together.

It shows both in the Kyoto Battle Event, but also the Shibuya arc. The Kyoto kids are all unstable it’s true, they’re all prone to lashing out, but because they’ve dealt with such dark emotions rather than repressing them they’re also way more capable of talking about their feelings to others.

Yes, the Kyoto kids don’t deserve to lash out at whoever they want. Yes, lashing out is a bad way to attempt communication. However, it’s also true that the Tokyo kids respond with what basically amounts to self-righteousness. The Kyoto kids are lashing out because they are going through something, because they’re suffering, yet the Tokyo kids don’t really try to understand those feelings. 

Kamo was seperated from his mother at a young age. Maki left Mai behind in an abusive household. Nobara has never experienced the same abuse that Mai has so she’s not really in a position to judge which twin she thinks is the good twin, and which is the bad one. Mechamaru is chronically ill and in constant agony, and then instead of getting him medical help he’s just being used as a toy soldier. 

So.  The problem is. Gojo’s style of teaching. He wants these kids to be political allies. He wants them to try to make a better world than the one he experienced growing up. However, Gojo doesn’t really teach them to think for themselves. He doesn’t teach them to look at the situation, and the way the Jujutsu World is designed to manipulate and use these children.

Individual responsibiltiy is a good lesson to teach. Individual responssibility can help someone get over themselves and their issues and work towards self improvement, but it’s also, not the only solution. It’s also, impossible to overcome these circumstances all on their own. 

Mai can’t be strong like Maki. She’s not weak for folding under the pressure of being in an abusive household. You could even argue that Maki isn’t stronger than her abuse, because emotionally she’s weak, she can’t even maintain a relationship with her own sister she has to cut herself off from everyone. 

Kamo has to follow the clan’s orders, he’s terrified they’ll hurt his mother and he’ll never see her again. She’s actively being used as a tool to manipulate them. 

Mechamaru is already strong as a sorcerer, that’s not going to stop the fact that he’s chronically ill. 

Basically, in this regard Gojo’s students repeat what Gojo himself always says. “Have you tried getting stronger?” We can see why this approach doesn’t work with Kokichi, because he did do what Gojo would always reccomend. He didn’t want to burden others with his emotions so he tried to be strong and solve everything on his own, and that resulted in his death.

Think if Mechamaru had been supported. If he thought it was okay to confide his problems with others, if it was okay for him to be weak, and ask for help when he didn’t know what to do on his own.

However, when he tried to do that with panda he just got slapped with a “Your behavior is wrong.” It’s why even when telling people, especially children their behavior is wrong you also need to be sure to take care of their emotional needs as well. Especially teenagers, because teenagers are literally all emotions, they’re not minitature, fully-developed adults. Kokichi was wrong to lash out, but his emotions were right. He has every right to be in pain. When he’s told off, he also takes that as a message that he’s weak for trying to confide anything in others, that him complaining about his victimhood made him weak in the first place, so what does Kokichi do. He retreates into himself, he quiets down about his problems, he tries to solve everything on his own and he fails at doing that because you can’t. You cannot solve all your problems by simply being stronger than them. 

Gojo’s students aren’t raised as emotionally healthy individuals, and because of that they also can’t really relate to the emotions of other people, especially the negative one. They are, strong willed individuals yes, strong sorcerers, yes, but they’re not really a team. 

I think that’s illustrated in how they all fall apart in Shibuya. All of Gojo’s students basically make the same mistake, they don’t listen to the adults, they charge into battle because “I’m strong enough.” 

Nobara, the adults literally all told you not to fight. Nobara: Nah it’s fine I’m strong.

Look at how Nobara loses. The second she starts fighting with Yuji as a team, she makes a sloppy mistake because she 1) underestimated her opponent and 2) was never taught how to fight in a team. 

It’s not just Nobara though it’s every single one of them.

Yuji runs off on his own, fights on his own, and loses to Choso.  Megumi suicide attacks to take down one (1) opponent whose just a regular curse user when he reaches his limit. 

This is what they are all taught. They all have to fight on their own, be strong on their own, and if they’re strong enough they’ll win, if they’re not strong enough oh well. The Tokyo Kids genuinely like each other as a team but they’re always running away from each other. They all overestimate themselves and what they’re capable of handling and get in over their heads. 

And it does go back to the Kyoto Battle arc, because the Tokyo kids are just as emotionally disturbed as the Kyoto kids, they just are repressed about it. Take Megumi for example, Megumi has been abandoned and neglected all of his life, and Gojo never really offered him any support or healing for that abandonment.

There’s no canon indication that Gojo ever raised Megumi or did anything with him other than provide for housing, and protect him from the Zenin clan on the condition that Megumi STILL BECOME A SORCERER, JUST ONE POLITICALLY ALLIGNED FOR HIM AND NOT THE ZENIN. 

He didn’t offer Megumi a chance at a normal life, or even help him grow up as an individual because Gojo’s not interested in these things. Gojo’s help is conditional on the fact that Megumi work hard to pay him back, and reach his full potential as a sorcerer. As a result, Megumi is walking around with completely unaddressed abandonment issues as a result of never having a stable adult in his life, and this goes, completely unnoticed, which leads to him constantly risking his own life, endangering and harming himself. Megumi’s just as unstable  as the Kyoto kids, he’s going to do something dangerous someday soon. It’s just Megumi’s been taught from a young age, he has to be the responsible one in his household, and he has to take responsibility for everything on his own by working to become stronger, and look like where that has led him.

Hmm, I wonder why Megumi always feels like it’s his responsibility to sacrifice, what could have possibly led him ot that conclusion? Why does he feel so responsible for the actions of other people around him? It’s a geuine mystery.

However, the Kyoto kids are capable of doing something the Tokyo kids can’t do. They can cry and be weak in front of other people. They can support each other as a group. Not only did they help Miwa at her lowest point, but Yuji would have given up, had Todo not shown up when he did. 

Yuji actually wasn’t capable of handling it all on his own. He couldn’t defeat Mahito just by being stronger than him, or having a strong will. 

Individualism like Gojo teaches is important, but it’s also incomplete. It’s only half the solution. The Tokyo kids need the camraderie of the Kyoto kids, the same way the Kyoto kids need to learn to take responsibility for themselves.

That’s why the Shibuya arc ends the way it does. The Tokyo kids failing as individuals, and the Kyoto kids coming together as team. However, since both sides only have half the answer, neither side is able to defeat Kamo Sr. totally.

However, Gojo’s mistakes are shown even more clearly after the arc resolves. Gojo doesn’t actually teach people to think for themselves, because he’s raising them up to follow his politics. Now, look at what his students are doing in his absence. Gojo wants to fix the broken world, but Yuji’s conclusion he comes too after suffering is that he doesn’t want to think about fixing the world. He just wants to become another cog in the machine.

What was the greatest mistake the previous generation made?

Geto. Not only in exposing him to the trauma of Riko dying in front of him. But also, offering him no support a year afterwards.  Yaga completely neglecting him and failing to see what was going wrong. Then, when Geto finally did break, sending another student to kill him.

Yaga really can’t understand why this eighteen year old would hestiate to kill this other eighteen year old, that’s been his best and only friend for three years.  Why is this child not comfortable with an execution mission? It baffles the mind.

Gojo, by failing to raise his students as emotionally healthy individuals repeats the same mistake.

Yuta and Yuji both don’t really care about the world around them, or politics. They don’t pay attention to those things, they weren’t raised to do that. However, now because of that, because both are willing to become cogs in the machine they’re both letting themselves beused right now. 

They refused to think for themselves, so now the elders are manipulating them into a conflict against each other. Yuta because he doesn’t see the situation at large, he only wants to protect his friends. Yuji, because the only way he thinks he has value is by killing curses, he’s just going to keep blindly executing them until Yuta comes to kill him. Gojo’s students are divided specially because of that reason. They’re not together as a group, they’re just a group of particularly strong individuals, and Gojo never even thought that these strong individuals with no particular connection to each other might turn against each other. They might lie to each other. They might keep secrets from each other. They might fail to communicate. Because, Gojo doesn’t really pay attention to complex relaitonships like that. He’s only had his one friend his whole life. 

Even though that’s also exactly what happened to his one and only friend, his emotional needs were neglected by the system around him until he completely fell apart. Geto and Gojo’s problem wasn’t that they weren’t “the strongest” when they were together. It’s that they were never “together” again after a certain point. 

#Anonymous #gojo satoru #suguru geto #okkotsu yuta #itadori yuji #metasks #jjk meta

[bazzybelle]

Magical Equality Within The World of Mages

I’ve been thinking a lot since I finished reading Any Way The Wind Blows, and there are SO many things that I still need to process. I took my time with reading it, I’ve listened to the audiobook and I plan on re-reading it several times, once I move into my new house and have THAT stress done and over with. I cannot wait to re-read it on my back porch with some iced tea and a notebook to annotate and comment on pretty much everything that gave me feelings.

But for now, there is one massive issue that I want to address, and it plays into the plot for all three books.

Warning for those who have not read Any Way The Wind Blows, this post contains spoilers, so proceed with caution. I am tagging this appropriately, but adding an extra warning just in case.

Huge thanks to @carryonsimoncarryonbaz for reading this over and making sure I didn't sound like a rambling mess.

The World of Mages is an incredibly toxic place! This is especially true for anyone who isn’t a magical powerhouse, or stupid rich.

I’m going to not focus on the obvious socio-economic bullshit, because I’m not familiar enough with the British class system to properly comment on it. But if anyone wants to add onto this with a whole meta like that, please do so!

Instead, I’m going to focus on magic use and how detrimental it can be to grow up in this world if you aren’t one of the few who are blessed with the RIGHT kind of magic (I say right kind of magic for a reason, and I’m going to come back to that). I want to focus my attention on three characters (two of whom were drawn into Smith-Richard’s fake promises, and one who was just fed up with it all): Martin Bunce, Daphne Grimm, and Agatha Wellbelove.

1) Martin Bunce: We first hear about Martin Bunce in Carry On. He’s Penny’s dad, a renowned scholar and is leading a team researching the effects of the Insidious Humdrum. He’s a highly respected individual, in his own right. Penny adores him, she only speaks his praises, and I get the feeling she gets along better with Martin, then she does with Mitali. When Penny needs help with Shep’s curse, she trusts her dad to help her after her mother flat out refuses.

While Martin is respected in the community, he isn’t a magical powerhouse. In fact, he isn’t very powerful at all. Baz makes a cheeky little comment about how he must have come from mundanity with a name like “Bunce”, and he doesn’t teach any magical classes at Watford, he focuses mainly on Linguistics.

Professor Bunce is one of the people taken in by Smith-Richard’s message, and I’m kind of glad he is. It shows that Smith-Richard’s message can reach anyone, even someone as scholarly and learned as Martin. Martin Bunce is intelligent, loving, devoted, and the apple of his family’s eye. But, when push comes to shove, all that does not matter because in the end, he isn’t as magically powerful as his wife and kids. How many times has Martin been compared to his wife? How many times has he been compared to his kids? What was it like going to Watford and having to hear about how you barely scraped by in the magical classes? His whole family is obsessed with magic, his daughter's best friend is the Most Powerful Mage. Martin is constantly surrounded by people making comments about power and magic and being strong enough as a magician.

That stuff stays with you... So when you see someone performing magic that can pull you to your full potential, of COURSE you grab onto it and hope that it’s a real thing.

Something interesting to note here; Towards the end of AWTWB, Martin casts a drinking spell, and Baz makes a comment about anyone who could cast that spell in quick succession doesn’t need a power-up. Now, was Martin truly not powerful, or did he just not have the right type of magic? Could he have been a better magician if he was able to find the right situations where his magic responded better? If he was allowed to learn in a way where his magic could have reached its full potential, without the use of a horrible curse?

I have a teaching background, and I’ve worked with a lot of kids in Inclusive Education. I’ve had to differentiate practically all of my lesson plans so that all the kids in my classroom would understand the lesson and be able to reach the goals outlined for them. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve taught, but I look at stuff like this in the World of Mages and my teaching ear perks up.

2) Agatha Wellbelove: Another person who comes to mind, especially with not having the right kind of magic is Agatha Wellbelove. Agatha does not see herself as a very strong magician. She tells Simon that magic for her is like holding a muscle. Pair that up with a mother who is OBSESSED with magic and power and who’s got the most power, and which magical matches will bring about powerful children, and you get someone who becomes resentful of the whole effing thing! I’m not even going to touch the whole “dating the Chosen One” thing because that’s a whole other can of worms.

When we first meet Agatha, she’s already fed up with magic, and wants nothing to do with it, and I can’t say I blame her. She spends all of Wayward Son running away from magic, and meandering through life, being still so unsure of herself and of her place in the world. She calls herself a poor excuse for a magician, yet she manages to save both herself and Penny from the NowNext by summoning fire! That’s a huge flipping deal! Not everyone can do that, yet Agatha is able to summon the power inside herself to do so! Imagine the wonderful magic she could have done if she was taught in a way that spoke to her.

In AWTWB, she is the ONLY person who is able to get through to the Goats. Her magic seems to be connected to nature (if I had to guess). The Dryad, all the way back in Carry On, tells Simon that she and the others find Agatha “peaceful”. That’s her magic. Agatha was able to come full circle by finding peace with the magic she has. She was able to find a place for it. What’s sad is that she felt the need to run away and not want to have it in her life anymore. Her magic is beautiful, yet not enough.

3) Daphne Grimm: So, this is the character that stood out to me the most. Daphne is the reason I even wanted to write this commentary. Those of you who know me, know that I adore this character. Partly because, I’m obsessed with the idea that Baz has people looking out for him and who care about him.

Anyway, Ms. Daphne Grimm is the apple of my eye essentially. I love her, I adore her, and she is treated SO UNFAIRLY by the World of Mages.

What do we know about Daphne? She is Baz’s stepmum, and has four kids with Malcolm. From the first book, there are snarky little comments about Daphne’s lack or power and magic. Baz himself makes a shitty comment about how Daphne’s “blood is as thin as gruel”, even though Daphne goes out of her way to make sure he’s got food sent to his room. She’s extra careful in making sure Baz feels safe in his own home. She suggests to Malcolm that Baz should see a therapist for everything he’s been through, making her the ONLY parent who not only acknowledges her child’s trauma, but tries to do something about it!

She is a GOOD mom!

Ok, we know that Baz wears a ton of masks of indifference in Carry On, and he softens up tremendously in Wayward Son, calling her lovely while teaching him to drive a car.

We learn a lot about Daphne in Any Way The Wind Blows. Namely that Fiona has some pretty nasty opinions about her. (That comment about her kids not being legitimate, and that she’s as “thick headed as she is thin blooded”. Now, imagine you’re Daphne, and the widower of the Great Natasha Pitch asks to marry you. That’s already some MASSIVE shoes to fill. You accept, and you do the best you can, taking care of his son and being a positive presence in his life, meanwhile going to all these posh functions where EVERYONE talks about power and magic. Then to have the sister of your husband’s first wife make snarky comments about your level of power and magic.

That stuff sticks with you.

Daphne doesn’t want her kids going to Watford, the ONLY magical school in the UK (as far as we know). She wants her children to succeed and be known for everything they are capable of doing, instead of being ridiculed for all the ways they’ll come up short. According to Baz, the only reason Daphne graduated from Watford was because she was smart enough to pass every exam (yet, Fiona still makes snarky comments about her intelligence).

Daphne is well aware of how painful it can be to live in the World of Mages and not be a powerhouse magician. Like Martin, she takes matters into her own hands and seeks out a way to make herself more powerful.

It is heartbreaking to look at these three amazing, beloved characters, and think about the suffering they have had to endure by their peers. Both Daphne and Martin get frustrated when those around them question their choice to follow Smith-Richards, stating “you don’t know what it’s like”. Luckily for Daphne, Baz makes an effort to actually understand her, and doesn’t judge her. Even when Fiona mocks her, Baz defends his stepmum. When Daphne berates herself and compares herself to Natasha, Baz reflects on how Natasha would have killed him (something Daphne would NEVER do to any of her children).

We know that Watford did not allow magical creatures, or differently-abled magicians (I use this term for a reason) to study there until the Mage came around and allowed everyone into Watford. This was a great thing, because now, every magical child was given the opportunity to learn how to speak with magic.

However, it should not have stopped there. I spoke earlier on differentiation and on finding the right place for everyone’s magic. What if magicians like Martin, and Daphne, and Agatha are all powerful in their own right, and they just haven’t found their place where their magic fits? Instead of finding the right way to teach these magicians, they are left to struggle and ultimately resent their magic and the magic of the world around them.

Do I hear a social commentary on the state of standardized education? I can’t really comment on the British Educational System, nor the American one, as I am Canadian. What I can say, from my own experience in Canadian classrooms, is that for all the talk we do on making education inclusive, there is still a big push from higher ups for high grades and standardized testing. If any of my followers are British or American and care to share your two cents, feel free to do so. Let’s keep the conversation going!

I think this post might have gotten away from me. I think my point was to act as a defense for people like Daphne and Martin who found themselves fished into a scam all for the promise of feeling like they are enough in their world. I also wanted to defend people like Agatha, who did all she could to run away from all of it, only to find the place where she (and her magic) belonged.

I remember having this discussion on Discord, and one of the points that came up was that maybe The Greatest Threat to the World of Mages was this deeply ingrained prejudice over magicians with different sorts of magic. Magicians who need that extra bit of help to find their way.

We’ve seen in this series how these prejudices can threaten to split the World of Mages apart, and it looks like magicians like Penny, Baz, and Agatha are learning from these mistakes. Only time (and us fanfiction writers) will tell how they end up shaping their world for the future generations.

#any way the wind blows spoilers #awtwb spoilers #meta #is it though? #I mean I GUESS #the simon snow trilogy #the simon snow series #magical equality #the world of mages #this is really just a defense for Daphne

[revenge-of-the-shit]

Racism, antisemitism, and anti-Jedi sentiment in Star Wars (Part 3/4)

Part 3: Antisemitism and Anti-Asian racism

via @shadowaccio6181 :

There is also an article here regarding more current stereotyped perceptions of both Asians and Jewish people that I’ll quote larger sections from, because I think context is important:

This type of “faulty and inflexible generalization” that associates an individual with the perceived wrongs of an entire ethnic/racial group is almost the textbook definition of prejudice. Princeton University psychologist Susan Fiske and her collaborators published a series of articles examining stereotyping, prejudice and discrimination. They show people usually assess a group along two dimensions: warmth (are they sincere and sociable?) and competence (are they capable and intelligent?). For example, her work finds the elderly are stereotypically perceived as warm but incompetent; middle-class white Americans as warm and competent; Asians and Jews as cold but competent, and homeless people as cold and incompetent.

People who are not friendly are more dangerous to others than are people who are not competent, who are more dangerous to themselves. When majority-group members with high levels of bias encounter members of minority groups they perceive as cold, biased individuals can feel they must react by verbally harassing, bullying or attacking them. That’s especially true if that minority group is being touted or perceived as threatening — the way some leaders are painting Asian Americans as responsible for spreading the pandemic.

Using a nationally representative, random-sample telephone survey that interviewed 571 respondents in the United States in 2003, Fiske’s research found Asians, along with Jews, are consistently stereotyped as competent but cold. Biased individuals, confronted with people stereotyped as competent-cold, often feel envy and resentful admiration. Envied groups are often scapegoated during periods of widespread social instability, because biased majority-group members perceive those groups as having both the ability and intention to disrupt society.

We also shouldn’t ignore the stereotype of Asian parenting: “the notion that the Asian American parenting style is authoritarian—devoid of warmth, controlling, unfeeling, and undemocratic—versus Western parenting, which is viewed as the more positive authoritative style—firm, but warm, highlighted by intimate parent-child relations… our perceptions of parental warmth are culturally concocted and notes that what is often perceived as “strict parenting” in non-Western or non-Caucasian families is often misunderstood.” Obviously, not all parents are perfect, but this is very much a racist stereotype.

Commentary from Annessarose:

Exactly this.

It is indeed true that some Asian parents are undeniably strict to the point of toxic helicopter parent. I know this for a fact, because I have so many (Chinese) friends who experience it. It is also true that there are Asian parents who are not like this, and that there are many parents who are not toxic, who are supportive of their children.

Ultimately, it's important to note that for many parents, their actions come from good intentions even when it manifests itself in decidedly toxic ways. They are human. This does not excuse toxic parenting in any ways, but painting Asian parents with one brush and portraying all of them as harsh and unfeeling and authoritarian does a disservice to the many parents who are supportive, who listen, who try their best to help their kids. Ultimately, people are complex. Reducing them to stereotypes is dangerous and toxic.

To Jewish Star Wars fans: please please please feel free to add to this conversation! I don't feel qualified to speak on this but I would love to hear & amplify your voice on this.

We also shouldn’t ignore the common stereotypes of Asians in film (source):

I really feel I need to point this out, but as an Asian American, I’m actually thankful Obi-Wan is played by Ewan McGregor, because if he were played by an Asian actor, it would make so much of fandom’s characterizations of him Significantly More Yikes.

Ewan McGregor is known for being naked on-screen and having sexually suggestive scenes. However, there's a stereotype of "the Asian man as effeminate and asexual", or if sexualized, they're "categorized as exotic and different... foreign." This stereotyping "both feminizes Asian-American men and simultaneously constructs alternative gender and sexuality as aberrant." And "it seems as if Asian men are also victim to extremes: In some portrayals, they are cold-hearted villains and ruthless Kung Fu masters, while in other films, are portrayed as “losers” who have all the brains but no social skills or clueless immigrants fresh off the boat." "...men were portrayed more negatively than women; Asian men are perceived as less socially skilled or seen as the enemy." And Asians are often paraded about “as an example for people, showing them to be intelligent, overachieving" but "Asians were more likely to also be perceived as antisocial, awkward, and lacking proper communication skills."

Annessarose's commentary:

Oh, boy. Do I have thoughts on this.

I grew up in a an Asian diaspora. And. Despite living in a primarily Chinese area of that community, these stereotypes still wormed their way into us. At school, many (Chinese) girls would talk about how none of the (Chinese) men were attractive, and how they were dreaming about the white boys they saw on television instead. As we grew older, I had several in-depth discussions with several of my close female friends, and we'd end up talking about how the reason we thought the white guys were more attractive was because the media we watched told us that that was what the beauty standard was.

On top of that, we also had that stereotype of Asians being intelligent overachievers internalized as well. Do you know how many people would cry over an 85%? Do you know how many people would complain about a 92%? Many people ended up placing their self-worth into their academic marks, and it was disastrous. Mental health was all over the place. Bullying based on marks abounded. Granted, this stereotype was not the only reason this happened; it's true that there are indeed parents who take nothing less than 100%, and let me tell you, it really fucked some of my classmates up. It was horrendous. But many parents were not like that, but the constant peer pressure + societal pressure to be perfect in academics and extra-curriculars and everything just so we could feel like what society told us Asians were like was tremendous even in an Asian diaspora.

I remember being assigned to a group of white classmates in elementary school. I remember them saying, "Oh, cool, you're in here!" and I was like "Why me?" They told me "You're Asian, you're smart, so we're gonna do well in this project." Similar stories abounded with my East Asian friends all across elementary school, and shaped how we felt when we entered our high school.

Even in diaspora, western stereotypes & racism can be destructive and toxic.

This is Part 3!

[Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 4]

#star wars #racism #antisemitism #anti asian racism #fandom racism #long post

[nationalharryleague]

Portfolio

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Genre: AU, Angst, Boss!Harry

Word count: 3.5k!

Warnings: Domestic violence mention, boss/employee dynamic

A/N: Hi! I decided to write another fic after Overnight was received so well! Again, thank you to anyone who read and enjoyed it! I’m not sure how I feel about this one lol but I think it’s good enough to post. Please let me know if you enjoyed it and send feedback! Thank you for reading!!! More of my writing can be found in my masterlist! 

Part 2

You had always been a teacher’s pet. Growing up, you were the kid who worked hard to get a 4.0 GPA just for the rush of getting a compliment on your intelligence from your teacher. You craved that validation for all the hard work you put in and you just wanted people you admired to like you. And not for nothing, you deserved the compliments. At work, you were the first one there and the last one to leave. You loved your job and it showed.

You were currently working your first job with any real power at an up and coming public relations firm, Styles Public Relations. SPR was quickly growing in size and recognition and being brought onto the team was a dream come true. You loved everything about working there. The offices were beautiful, it paid well, and your ideas and proposals were finally being heard and brought to the public. Well, you loved everything except one glaring, irritating, and gorgeous problem: your boss.

Harry Styles was a striking man. He was tall, impeccably dressed, and obscenely attractive. His skin was perfectly tan and when it got warm in the office you could see  beautiful tattoos revealed by his rolled up sleeves. Those sleeves were worth more than your life and his head-to-toe Gucci ensembles usually showed his wealth off well. He looked like he should be on the front of a magazine, not behind a desk. Well, he was on the cover of Forbes that one time. While he was so nice to look at, the man was anything but nice. He had an abrasive attitude and not much care for pleasantries or mincing words.

Today, you found yourself on the opposite end of his brutal disposition. You had brought a campaign proposal to him for a newly acquired client and he began to rip it to shreds.

“I don’t know why you thought this campaign was a good idea, Y/N,” he told you sternly. “It’s childish, silly, and unprofessional.” Every word he said dug into you. You tried to attribute his harshness to it being Monday, but you knew he would say this to you any day of the week.

“The client said they wanted something more playful to soften their image,” you defended yourself. “I was doing what they asked for.”

“Well, you did a terrible job at it.”

That stung. You had dedicated your life for weeks to this proposal and had expected him to love it. You hoped this was finally the proposal that would secure your position in his good graces. Apparently, not.

“Okay. I’ll restart the project with a different angle.” You moved forward to grab the binder off the conference room table and flee the room back to the safety of your office. You were shocked when he put his own hands on the binder and slid it away from you.

“You’re off the account. I’ll have someone else do a better job,” he spat. Now, that really hurt. Your ego was closely related to your career and you knew you deserved better than this. You did everything you could to hold back your tears, but one betrayed you and fell down your cheek. You believed you saw his hard exterior soften for a split second before his ruthless demeanor returned.

“Fine,” you breathed, never breaking eye contact with the cruel man. “I’ll leave you now, your highness.” The words left your lips before you could fully register them in your own head. You turned on your heel and rushed back to your office, thinking about the insubordination complaint coming your way.

“Did I just get myself fired?” you asked yourself softly when you were finally in the safety of your own office.

The rest of your week passed in a blur. By Friday, you had accepted your fate and decided to get every passive aggressive dig at your boss you could before you carried your things out in a cardboard box. When you saw him around the office, you made sure to make direct eye contact and shoot daggers his way and you responded to his emails with one word answers. You were also producing the best work you had in years. Turns out, spite was a fantastic motivator for you. If he was going to fire you, he would feel bad about it.

As usual, you spent your Friday night typing away in your office. You were a workaholic and had no problem with staying at work late. Unfortunately, so was your new nemesis.

You caught your first glimpse of him after-hours on a trip to the copier. Your next was on your trek to the coffee pot. Later, on a walk around the office to stretch your legs. Each time you saw him, he was in the same spot. He sat at the conference table surrounded by spreadsheets and graphics and stared perplexed at the piles of paper encompassing him. You knew you could go in and ask him if he needed help, but you wanted to watch him suffer. According to him, you would just do a terrible job anyway.

It was about 7 o’clock when you heard a firm knock on your office door. You expected it to be the cleaning crew asking to vacuum your office. With a ‘come in’ your door opened and your boss’ large body leaned up against the door frame, careful not to enter the office he knew he wasn’t welcome in. While you were shocked he was coming to talk to you, you stayed quiet. If he wanted to talk to you, he would have to break the silence. After a few awkward moments, he did.

“Um, I was thinking about ordering dinner if you wanted to join me.” This was by far the nicest thing he had ever said to you other than ‘you’re hired.’

“Well, what are you getting?”

“I’ll buy you whatever you want for dinner if you take a look at the investor relations portfolio I’m working on.” You were taken aback. He was asking for your help. He needs me, you thought as you smirked to yourself.

“Make it the Italian place down the street and we have a deal,” you countered. You didn’t want to spend anytime with him at all but you were taking this as a sign that  1) he wasn’t firing you, and 2) he thought you did good work. Also, their spaghetti bolognese was calling your name.

Soon you were both knee deep in documents and investor information packets. You absolutely could not believe it but the two of you were collaborating well and making real progress on the portfolio. This was the working relationship you always wanted to have with your big shot boss; the opposite of his constant criticism and belittling of your work.

When the food arrived, you both decided to take a break and eat like an entire company’s stock shares weren’t resting on your shoulders. While your conversation stayed surrounding work, it inevitably steered towards the account he had taken away from you.

“So, how’s my campaign doing?” you asked. You knew it was a risky question but you two had been getting along and you decided you needed an update on the account that had become your baby.

“I gave it to Marcus and-”

“Marcus? Really?” You interrupted  him. “Marcus is a shithead.” Your baby deserved better than Marcus.

“You didn’t let me finish,” he said in a joking manner, with a small smile. The smile was just big enough for you to notice that he had dimples. He had never smiled in front of you before. “He’s doing a horrendous job and I was going to give it back to you on Monday.”

“Thank you. I appreciate the second chance,” you confessed. “Can you level with me for a minute?” you asked after a moment of silence. “Why did you rip into me like that? You could have just told me that it wasn’t right for me and taken it away.”

You watched him think for a moment. He scratched at his five o’clock shadow (that was more like a 9 o’clock shadow now) and you could tell he was searching for the right words.

“Because it got you fired up, but I could tell I hurt your feelings and I apologize.” You never expected an apology for the way he acted and you no longer regretted showing him your emotions. He had hurt you and he should feel bad for it. “I thought you were getting complacent in your ideas and you’ve been killing it since Monday.”

“Thank you for the apology. Here I am thinking you did it just to be a dick.”

“Is that what people in the office really think of me?” He looked genuinely hurt and you felt slightly guilty for being the bearer of bad news. But you hoped if he saw it from his fearful employees’ perspective he would lighten up a little.

“Do you want me to be honest?” He nodded his head. “You act like you have a stick so far up your ass it’s touching your brain and that you’re better than everyone else because your suit costs more than my rent.” If he never minced his words, why should you?

“Oh Y/N, tell me what you really think,” he said after a pause with a light chuckle. You were surprised by his reaction. You never expected him to take something like that so well.

“Listen,” you began again. “I understand and respect your toughness on us. But there is a line between criticism and just being mean.” You decided this was a time to call him on his shit, during this very very rare moment of comradery between you. You wanted to have a healthy relationship with him, maybe even a friendship.

“I understand that I can get a bit harsh. It’s just the whole ‘is it better to be loved or feared’ thing. I’ve always thought fear would be the safer option.” You felt like you were getting to pull back the layers of his hard shell and see the human being underneath for a brief period of time.

“But if you were truly loved, no one would ever betray you,” you whispered softly, always the romantic.

“Love has never been reliable, has it?” Your heart broke for him and you realized someone doesn’t become as hardened as he is overnight. Something did this to him.

“What about love being the most powerful force on earth?” you wiggled your eyebrows at him, referring to the slogan for an engagement ring campaign you were both working on.

“Well, when your wife tries to steal the company that you built together and run away to Spain with her personal trainer, love gets a little bit more complicated.” There it is, you thought to yourself. This was the first time he ever felt like a real person to you; not like a teflon shell of anger, wealth, and ambition. His features looked softer and he seemed less like your evil boss, and more like someone dealing with a painful trauma.

“I’m sorry, Harry,” you said softly, genuinely meaning it. “Oh shit, sorry. Mr. Styles,” you corrected yourself. He laughed at your mistake and you watched his dimples reach their full potential. He looked down at the table, obviously a little uncomfortable with his rare moment of vulnerability with the woman who was probably the biggest pain in his ass in the office. Before you knew it, you had decided to share your own uncomfortable vulnerability.

“My ex put me in the hospital while I was still living in New York,” you began, watching his eyes immediately jump to yours and listen intently.

“Oh Y/N, you don’t have to talk about this… I didn’t mean-,” he tried to stop you but you figured if he shared with you, you could share with him.

“No, it’s okay. It’s been a long time,” you reassured him, shaking your head softly. “We were fighting because I found out he had been cheating on me. I had packed a bag and was trying to leave when he pushed me down the stairs of our apartment building. I broke my arm in two places and I had to have a few surgeries.” You rolled up the sleeve of your blouse and showed him the scar that ran down your forearm. You scanned his face and it looked like he genuinely cared about you for a moment. You brushed it off. “After that, I decided I needed to leave New York.”

“Why London?” he said gently.

“I was obsessed with this English boy band when I was growing up,” you laughed. “I guess I romanticised London in my head and decided it might be a good place for a fresh start.”

“While I’m incredibly sorry you had to go through all of that to get to London, I’m very glad that you found your way to me,” he spoke tenderly. His face was serious, but not the seriousness you were used to while getting scolded about your work. It was gentle and like he meant every word he said. You were happy you found your way to this version of him too.

“To the firm, I mean,” he corrected himself and you felt a weird pang of sadness inside of you. You are just his employee, remember that, you thought to yourself.

“I’m happy I found the firm too. If only I could figure out how to deal with my hellish boss?” you asked sarcastically, rolling your eyes dramatically and laughing at him. You realized that this could definitely be taken as flirting, but you decided were okay with that.

“Maybe they’re just trying to push you because you are by far the best campaign director they have,” he said nonchalantly, leaning back in his seat and watching your every movement. You felt your cheeks heat and the rush of adrenaline from finally getting his validation. This was all you ever wanted from him.

“Oh, I know,” you smirked, leaning back in your own chair and studying him as well.

He really was gorgeous. His quaffed hair had fallen over the course of the day and a few stray pieces hung on his forehead. His black dress shirt fit him so well. You were fully able to appreciate the tailored fit after he had shrugged off his blazer and removed his tie, unbuttoning the top few buttons to reveal glimpses of two swallows that sat on his collarbones. A chain that you had never gotten to see hung around his neck, a cross and the Star of David resting on his chest.

“We should get back to work,” he murmured after a few extended moments of staring at each other.

“Probably.”

You two worked for another hour or so before you let out a small yawn and Harry insisted you both call it a night. Although you protested and told him you were fine, he was firm in his demand that you go home and rest. As you packed up your things in your office, he hovered in the room and watched your every move. Conversation was relaxed and casual, not stained with the malice you usually had towards each other.

He took your briefcase from your hands, offering to help as you struggled to carry a poster and a few proposal binders, and carried it as you walked in step with each other out of the office. When you reached the front doors and went to go your separate ways, you were met with a puzzled look on his face.

“Where are you going? The parking garage is this way?”

“Oh, I don’t have a car. I take the tube wherever I have to go.”

“Let me drive you home,” he offered. When you denied his proposal, you were met with a stern, “Let me drive you home or you’re fired.”

Although you fought him the entire walk to his car, asserting that you were fine to take the train, you climbed into his beautiful jet black sports car with a huff and a pout. He had a triumphant smirk on his face that you were tempted to slap off, but decided to take this as a sign from the universe that you just weren’t meant to get blisters from your heels walking home tonight. You watched as his long fingers gripped the steering wheel skillfully and you both sat peacefully, the silence between you only interrupted when you gave him occasional directions to turn right or left. The soft sounds of a Fleetwood Mac song you couldn’t remember the name to flowed through the speakers and his mouth silently lip-synced the words. You admired him the whole drive home and you didn’t want to get out of the car when he pulled up to your building.

You both departed the car, walking around to the trunk where he had stashed your briefcase. Your casual conversations had long passed, both of you beginning to mourn the night you had together. You had enjoyed this night far more than you anticipated and you hoped this would be the first of many late nights at the office that he would join you for. You looked up at him when he handed you your briefcase and you both stood there in silence for just a few more fleeting seconds, neither of you wanting to be alone yet. You were first to break the noiseless night.

“Thank you for dinner and the ride home, Mr. Styles.”

“Please call me Harry,” he said with a subtle smile, stepping up on to the curb, closing much of the space between you.

“I can do that, Harry.” His first name felt foreign on your lips but it was a welcome change.

“Thank you for all your help tonight. I needed your fresh set of eyes on that portfolio.” This interaction felt so intimate; his words hushed and complimentary, intensified by his body’s proximity to yours.

“Whenever you need me,” you breathed, refusing to break the eye contact you were both desperately holding on to.

With one swift step he pressed your bodies and your lips together, backing you up until your body pressed against his car. You dropped your briefcase to the ground and your hands flew up to the base of his neck. He tasted like the lemon cookie he had ordered for dessert and you smelled his intoxicating cologne as you drank each other in. His hands snaked their way under your blazer and rested on your hips, pulling you impossibly closer to him. His kiss was deep and demanding and you weren’t sure if you ever wanted it to end.

This morning you couldn’t stand to be in the same room as him and mere hours later you were ready to bring him up into your own. He was infuriating and rude and knew just how to push your buttons. But, he also seemed to be gentle, kind, and thoughtful when he wanted to be. Harry Styles was an enigma. You couldn’t wrap your head around him and it drew you to him even more.

Your bodies flowed in perfect sync with one another and your open-mouthed and hungry kisses were so hypnotizing you couldn’t think. Harry was the only person that existed to you anymore, tuning out the murmurs of a passersby, and anywhere your skin touched his was lit on fire.

Finally coming up for air, you breathlessly peeled your lips away from the other. You both refused to break your eye contact, your hands gripping tight to his biceps to steady your weak legs, and scanned each other’s faces.

“You have a little something,” he murmured, reaching to wipe your smudged red lipstick from your bottom lip with his thumb. You leaned into his touch and smiled up at him.

“So do you,” you panted, staring at his lips that were now stained red.

You both just stood there for a little while, soaking up the other’s company before you pulled away and things got more complicated. He was your boss after all, was this even allowed? Did he want to be something more than coworkers? If things ended poorly, would you still be able to work together? Would he be nicer to you now?

“It’s late. You should get some sleep,” he eventually broke the silence and your spiraling thoughts.

“I agree. You worked me real hard today,” you smirked at him, unable to pass up the innuendo. An amused grin spread across his lips and he took a step back from you, releasing you from his grip against the car. He gathered your things you had dropped on the ground during his assault and handed them back to you.

Harry leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your cheek that lingered a little too long to be considered friendly. It made your cheeks burn.

“I’ll see you Monday, sweetheart” was the last thing he said to you before he climbed back into his car and drove off into the night.

Part 2

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles drabble #harry styles blurb #boss!harry #CEO!harry #one direction #harry styles au #harryandhockey