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#you know i think cas actually would drive this
deanwinchestergf · 5 months
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and why would an angel rescue me from hell? good things do happen dean. not in my experience. i'm not here to perch on your shoulder. i was getting too close to the humans in my charge. you. to everything there is a season. you made an exception for me. you're different. for what's worth, i would give anything not to have you do this. i learned my lesson while i was away, dean. i serve heaven, i don't serve men and i certainly don't serve you. but you guys aren't supposed to be there, you're not in this story. yeah, well, we're making it up as we go. i'm hunted, i rebelled and i did it all, all of it, for you. so what i'm thelma and you're louise and we're just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together? i need your help because you're the only one who'll help me. that's a pretty nice timing, cas. we had an appointment. what happened to you cas? you used to be human, or at least like one. but cas, you'll call right? if you get into real trouble? this is cas, guys. he has gone to the mat cut and bleeding for us so many freaking times, don't we owe him the benefit of the doubt at least? it sounds so simple when you say it like that, where were you when i needed to hear it? i was there, where were you? i'm doing this for you, dean. i'm doing this because of you. but we were family once, i would've died for you, i almost did a few times. i've lost lisa, i've lost ben and now i've lost sam. don't make me lose you too. cas, you child, why didn't you listen to me. you used to fight together, bestest of friends, actually. if you remember, then you know you did the best you could at the time. the very touch of you corrupts. when castiel first laid a hand on you in hell he was lost. i'd rather have you, cursed or not. well, i'll go with you. i prayed to you cas, every night. cas, we're getting out of here, we're going home. i mean you kept saying you didn't think it would work, did you not trust me? cas, it's me. we need you, i need you. i won't hurt dean. cause you didn't trust me? you didn't trust me. please, man, i need you here. nobody wants him here more than i do. you gave us an order, castiel, and we gave you our trust. don't lose it over one man. you really believe we three will be enough? we always have been. his true weakness is revealed. you draped yourself with the flag of heaven but ultimately, it was all about saving one human. i'm glad you're here, man. how are you, dean? and then you'll kill the angel, castiel. now that one, that i suspect would hurt something awful. and when you turn, everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. everyone except me. i'm not gonna send lucifer into battle inside cas, what if he doesn't make it? it's not an it, sam. it's cas. but you're always there, you know? i could go with you. you mean too much to me, to everything. i'm gonna cure you of your human weakness, same way i cured my own. it's a gift, you keep those. you mean we? yes, dumbass, we. we lost everything and now you're gonna bring him back. we got cas back, that's a pretty damn big win. just don't get dead again. it's good to hear your voice. so this is goodbye? but i swear if he did something to her, if she's- then you're dead to me. either get on board or walk away. i don't know what's god and what isn't, and it's driving me crazy. dean, you asked what about all of this is real. we are. you used trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt, now you can barely look at me. i think it's time for me to move on. you didn't deserve that. since when do we get what we deserve? maybe if you didn't just up and leave us. i left but you didn't stop me. i should've stopped you. you're my best friend but i just let you go. and i forgive you, of course i forgive you. i'm sorry it took me so long, i'm sorry it took me til now to say it. you did it cas. okay, cas, i need to say something. you don't have to say it, i heard your prayer. well, here's to being right. you know what every other version of you did after gripping him tight and raising him from perdition? they did what they were told, but not you.
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zepskies · 7 months
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Hey could I please request headcanons for how Dean would react to reader texting him "she's busy" as a joke, yk kind of like
Dean: Hey baby
Reader: She's busy
I really hope this makes sense and isn't so confusing 😭😭
Ooh I think I know what you mean. 😏
Pairing: Dean Winchester x F. Reader Word Count: 850
Imagine: Texting Dean when he's on a hunt.
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Once again, Dean sighed while he waited on his brother.
They were stopped at a 7-Eleven gas station after a hunt, but Dean had long ago filled up Baby's tank. Sam was inside, grabbing a few snacks for the road tomorrow. Supposedly.
Dean fished out his phone from his pocket and texted him.
Hey, Driving Miss Daisy. You good in there?
A couple of minutes later, Sam responded.
Yeah, just getting a few things.
Dean rolled his eyes. Right.
For half an hour? What, you taking a shit or something?
Sam's response was testy, just as Dean predicted.
Dean, give me a minute. Jesus.
Dean sighed, with a roll of his eyes. He scrolled back into his texts and found your name. He was a couple of states over from Lawrence, but still within the same timezone. You should still be awake back at the bunker.
He decided he wanted to hear your voice, let you know that he and Sam were going to catch one more night of rest here at the motel before they made the long drive back home.
But...you didn't answer when he called.
Weird. You were typically a night owl, either watching something or plugging away at your laptop. He tried texting you instead.
Hey, baby. You up?
He eventually saw the three gray dots pop up. You were typing...
She's busy.
Dean frowned. What the hell?
Had you invited someone over? Like Jody or Donna?
But neither of them would've replied like that...so he texted back.
Stop messing around.
Dean tried calling you again, but it went directly to voicemail this time. In came another text from "you."
She'll call you back, dude.
Dean's jaw ticked with annoyance. And despite himself, unease began to creep in and churn his stomach.
What the fuck is this?
She's in the shower. I'll tell her to call you back, no worries.
All right. WHO is this?
Ooh, are you the boyfriend? Yikes lol.
A deep, slow breath made it through Dean's nose. He closed his eyes, counted to ten, reminded himself that he did, in fact, love you.
Then he responded.
Babe, if you don't call me in the next 30 seconds, there's gonna be hell to pay when I get home.
Dean checked his watch and actually counted. About ten seconds passed before his phone rang with an incoming call...from you. He answered.
"Promise?" came your teasing voice. When it ended on a giggle, Dean rolled his eyes and rested his head back on the seat. He blew out a frustrated breath.
"Oh, trust and believe. You're gonna fuckin' get it this time," he said, though his lips curved on a reluctant smirk. You full on laughed at him then.
"You make it too easy," you replied.
He knew this. It wasn't the first time you'd teased him, and he knew it wouldn't be the last.
Still, he couldn't help being a bit irritated this time.
"You know, how would you like it if I did that to you?" he asked. "Wouldn't be so fucking funny then, would it?"
"...Okay. You're right. I'm sorry, baby," came your more contrite voice. But he could still hear your smile. Could imagine the way you might soothe a hand along his arm, if you were here.
"How about I make it up to you?" you offered.
That worked a slow smirk onto his face. "Yeah? What did you have in mind?"
For the next few minutes, you purred into his ear about all the things you'd been thinking of while he was gone. Daydreaming about the talents of his hands, lips, and tongue.
In particular, you reminded him about a certain birthday wish that he still hadn't claimed from a couple weeks ago, when he and Sam got wind of this hunt.
Two weeks really was too damn long, in your opinion. (He agreed with you.)
Now with a half-straining bulge in his jeans, Dean licked his lips and tightened his hand on the leather wheel of the car.
"All right. Sounds like a plan to me, sweetheart," he said, deceptively breezy. As if you'd just told him you planned to make tacos for dinner.
"When are you getting home?" you asked.
He heard the tone of your voice, like black silk. It sent a tendril of heat down his spine, raising the hairs on his forearms.
"Tonight," Dean said. Deeper, a note of gravel in his words. "I'll see you tonight."
"Good." Once again, he heard the smile in your voice. "I love you."
He sighed, and raised a hand to card through his hair.
"Love you too...even though you play too fucking much," he muttered the latter bit.
Your laughter once again reached his ears, reluctantly making him smile.
He hung up with you just before Sam finally opened the passenger seat door and climbed in with two hefty grocery bags. Did he do a whole damn shopping spree in there?
...Whatever. Dean shook his head and started the car.
"Change of plan," he said. "We're heading home."
"What? Thought we were gonna catch a few hours of sleep. It's a long drive, Dean," Sam said, earning his brother's gaze.
"Yeah, well, you'll live," Dean snarked. A more devious grin spread across his face. "I've got a date."
And she's about to get punished.
The Impala's tires screeched as Dean pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road.
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AN: Ha! This one was fun. 😘 Thanks for the prompt!
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Dean Winchester Imagines
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Dean W. Tag List:
@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91
@melancholictearz @nic-kolas @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19
@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @xsophianicolex @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @ultrahviolentart @chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420
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tightjeansjavi · 22 days
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The Rite of Movement | part five
“something I’m not, but something I can be”
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A/N: big disclaimer for this chapter: I do not know if this is actually how the porn industry functions. And while Brazzers is a real porn site, I don’t have any knowledge of how they run things on their site. For the sake of fiction, and the storyline, I wrote Joel’s era in Brazzers as a very very toxic work environment. Please heed the warnings. This takes place pre-miller-co. Joel and baby love have not met yet. Joel does however have a girlfriend during his time at Brazzers. Oh, and I listened to what was I made for on repeat while I wrote this 🥺 thank you to @itsokbbygrl for betaing and being my little cheerleader through this series 💗 and thank you to all my other friends for your endless support on my silly lil stories! (Y’all know who you are and how much I love you!)
~word count: 3.1k~
Summary: it’s Joel Miller’s 30th birthday. 30 years of existing, 12 years working for Brazzers, and what does he really have to show for his life outside of being a pornstar?
Pairing | pornstar!joel x pornstar!female reader
Warnings: angst, implied smut, toxic work environment, implied workplace abuse, mentions of the porn industry, misogynistic comments/behavior towards women in the porn industry (not by Joel), feelings of body insecurity, shame, mentions of smoking, grief, resentment, language, mature themes, +18 minors dni!
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Los Angeles, CA. September 26, 2009
An alarm clock blares on Joel’s nightstand, the shrill sound pierces his eardrums, sending his arm flying out from under the covers, smacking the top of the device, silencing it with a heavy groan rumbling up his chest.
6:00 a.m. the sun has barely just begun to peek over the mountains, the bustle of LA traffic, late-night goers returning home, early-morning risers preparing for another droning day.
The big 30: The age where you were expected to have your shit together. No more making foolish mistakes, no more job hopping, you should be married with kids and have a house with a white picket fence and drive a minivan. You should be invested in the stock market, your lawn should be properly trimmed, maybe you even make enough money to own a vacation home.
Joel hadn’t a fucking clue what he wanted out of life. He wasn’t married. He didn’t have any kids. He lived in an apartment with his brother Tommy, splitting the rent between their paychecks. LA never felt like home to him. He liked the palm trees and the beach. He hated LA traffic, smog, and that stupid Hollywood sign that alluded to a lifestyle that only the ‘chosen’ members of high society would get to indulge in.
City of Angels? Not even close.
30 years old, and feeling like he had nothing to show for his life outside of being a pornstar. A branding identity that shamed him more times than he was willing to admit. Is this all I’m good for?
Brazzers was the bane of his existence for 12 years, and yet every time he would try and put his foot down and quit, he was lured right back in. He loved sex just like anyone else. He loved the intimacy, the closeness, the connection to another human being. Above all, he loved making his partners feel good. To make them come, fall apart on his tongue, fingers, or his cock. To hear their pleasured cries, high-pitched real moans of his name.
It was euphoric for him, to make another person feel so good that they completely lose themselves in the moment, in the feeling of the rite of movement. He used to think that this was enough, that the act of sex and unbridled pleasure was all viewers would want to see. He thought he was enough.
But in the adult film industry, sex was never just enough.
He didn’t like being told how he should fuck.
Yank her hair harder.
Slap her around a little.
Squeeze her cheeks till she cries.
Choke her.
I want to see bruises on her ass, Joel.
Fuck her like you mean it, like you hate her. Like she’s your bitch. Your property.
Are we making a porno here or what? Don’t wipe her tears. That’s not what men want. They want to see a cunt being pounded. C’mon, Joel. This is supposed to be a male fantasy!
He learned how to dissociate and remove himself from the scene entirely. He worked on autopilot, tuning out the jarring voices that demanded more from him and his partner(s). And when the passion faded, he struggled to stay hard and on top of his game.
And even with the warm, wet mouth of a fluffer sucking his soft cock, he wasn’t turned on. Not in the slightest and he could feel the shame creeping up on his neck as the director barked at him to get his shit together.
“What do you mean you’re not able to get hard, Miller? You got a hot piece of ass under you, man! What the hell else do you want? Y’know, would it really hurt for you to be more like your brother?”
“She’s got a name, you know.” Joel bit back, grinding his jaw back and forth. The blatant disrespect that women faced on a day to day basis was downright disgusting.
“Oh for fuck’s sake. You make pornos, Joel! Or did you forget? Stop acting like a fucking sissy and do your goddamn job.”
“I need a minute,” he gruffed out and gently pushed the fluffer's mouth off of his cock. He strode past the director and the rest of the set crew and pulled his boxers on in a haste.
“Fine. You get 10 minutes, Miller. And when you get back, I expect you to be fucking ready, and hard.”
Joel didn’t respond as he shucked on his shorts and threw on his hoodie, grabbing his phone and pack of cigarettes to stuff in his pocket. He averted making eye contact with the director, shoulder checking him on his way out of the room.
10 minutes, Miller!
Fuck you is what Joel really wanted to say as he walked at a fast past towards the nearest exit in the long hallway.
-
The sun was blinding the moment he stepped outside into the back alley. He whipped his phone out, nervously pacing back and forth as he dialed Tommy’s number, listening to the dial tone ring and ring.
“Hey, you old fart! Feelin’ 30 yet?” Tommy said playfully.
“Yeah. I’m feelin’ 30 alright.” Joel grumbled, sinking back against the side of the building.
“What’s up? I know how much you hate your birthday, but why do you sound so—”
“I’m fuckin’ quitting, Tommy. I can’t do this shit anymore. I can’t fuckin’ do it. I’m about five seconds away from stormin’ back in there and beatin’ the living shit out of the director.” He snapped, carding his fingers through his hair, gripping the roots tightly. “I’m throwin’ the towel in, and I ain’t lookin’ back.”
“Woah, woah, woah! Hold on now, what the fuck happened? Are you sure you just want to—”
“Tommy.” Joel warned him, squeezing his eyes shut as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Don’t start this with me, okay? I need to know if you’re with me on this because I sure as hell ain’t leavin’ you out here on your own.”
“I ain’t a kid anymore, Joel. If you want to quit for your own reasons, that’s fine, and I support you, but that doesn’t mean that—” he sighed deeply, weighing out his words in his head before he said, “of course I’m with you on this.”
“I’m not gonna force you to quit, Tommy. I jus’ don’t think this cesspool is fuckin’ good for either of us. Talked to a few others that were thinkin’ of quitting, but no one has pulled the trigger yet. We can do some amateur work till we find our footing again, and I want to move back home, Tommy. I want to move back to Texas. I fuckin’ hate this state. Everythin’ is too damn expensive.”
“I’ll follow you wherever you go, Joel. You know I will. But what about…Carmen and Sarah? You jus’ gonna pack your shit up and not tell her?”
Joel felt his heart twist and clench, knocking the air from his lungs because for the first time in his 30 years of life, his heart was going to be broken, and there was nothing he could do to prevent the inevitable from happening.
“She’s never gonna accept me for who I am and my job, Tommy. She resents it, I know she does. And Sarah will eventually resent me too. She’ll grow up and feel ashamed that her stepfather is a fuckin’ pornstar. They both deserve better than what I can offer them. It’s not like I can just start over and get a respectable job! What established company is gonna hire a guy who’s CV consists of a highschool diploma, a year of working construction jobs and 12 years in the adult film industry?”
Tommy felt his heart break for his brother, splitting right down the middle. “Joel…” he trailed off.
“Her friends treat me differently, and everytime I’ve brought up the potential of meeting her family, she changes the subject on me, Tommy. And you know what? I don’t blame her. Who the fuck would want to introduce their pornstar boyfriend to anyone, let alone her family? I jus’ figured I’d cut her losses sooner rather than later. And even if things were to work out, and I get a new job, a new life, am I just supposed to accept the knowledge of knowin’ that the entire time we have been together, she’s resented my job? Some things just aren’t meant to work out, and that’s fine. I’ll let her go and she’ll meet a nice, normal, man with a good stable job who doesn’t fuck for a living.”
Joel Miller. Paging, Joel. You’re needed on set. Hurry the fuck up—
“Fuckers.” Joel muttered under his breath as he rose to his feet. “I gotta go, okay? I’ll text you in a bit.”
“Wait, Joel,” Tommy started, trying to think of what he could possibly say to his brother that would make the situation better. “Everythin’ is gonna be okay. It’ll all work out in the end.”
“Yeah, sure.” He replied flatly. “I’ll see you.” he ended the call, shoving his phone back into his hoodie pocket and pushed open the exit door just as his name was called over the intercom again.
This time he was going to put his foot down for good. He wasn’t going to be lured back in. He was done. His mind was made up and there would be no turning back.
-
“Fucking finally. I said 10 minutes, Miller. You’re lucky I even gave you that.” The director scoffed and snapped his fingers at the fluffer to do her job.
Joel stopped her with a gentle hand along her shoulder before he made direct eye contact with the director. “That won’t be necessary.”
“What the fuck do you mean that won’t be necessary? We were supposed to be wrapped up with this shit already. I have a freshie to introduce to you afterwards, so if we can just get a move on—”
“I said, that won’t be necessary.” Joel calmly reiterated as he grabbed his bag from the floor and slung it over his shoulder.
“Boy, you better fucking start talking. What do you mean that won’t be necessary?!”
“It means that I quit. And I hope that freshie and every other woman here fuckin’ quits while they still have the chance.”
The atmosphere in the brightly lit room immediately shifted and the tension was palpable. Joel’s onscreen partner was shocked, the fluffer was shocked along with the rest of the film crew.
“You have gotta fucking joking me right now.” The director laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “You got some fucking nerve, Miller.”
Joel shrugged, glancing around the room before he turned towards the door, grasping the handle in his palm and pushed it open. He paused, looking over his shoulder, giving his onscreen partner a small, reassuring nod, “oh, and just a little word of advice? If you want sex to sell, and for Brazzers to not tank like the fuckin’ stock market, start by treatin’ women in the industry with respect. Jus’ a little food for thought. Pass that onto the CEO, and then tell him to shove it right up his ass.”
He walked out after that, listening to the director holler his name and something along the lines of, you’ll be back. They always fucking come back!
And on his way out, his shoulder gently made contact with another body rushing up the stairwell. “‘S’cuse me.” He rasped.
You didn’t get a look at the stranger's face on your way up. You were too focused on the fact that you were running late, and couldn’t afford to be potentially fired.
He didn’t get a look at your face either.
-
Joel opted to be alone for the rest of the day, sitting on the hood of his car, smoking through an entire pack of cigarettes while he watched the clouds roll by, and tourists stop to take pictures of the infamous Hollywood sign. He thought about his life up until this point.
30 years on this shithole we call earth. 12 years spent in the adult film industry, and never had he felt so lost and alone. Hours away from ending his first ever long term relationship and leaving the past behind.
Fuck 30. He thought to himself.
The inevitable settled into his bones as the sun slowly began to set behind the mountains, creating stunning hues of pink, oranges and purples in the sky. His phone buzzed on the exterior of the hood of his car, tearing him away from his thoughts when Carmen’s name popped up on the screen.
Hey, birthday boy. Are we still on for Thai food tonight? x.
Hey, baby. Yeah, of course. Can’t wait to see you.
5 missed calls from Tommy
10 messages from Tommy.
What happened to fucking calling me later, Joel?!
Why is your phone going straight to voicemail!
Can you just let me know that you’re okay?!
Joel.
Dude.
Pick up your phone!
And you call me the bad texter?!
This isn’t funny.
I didn’t sign up for the silent treatment!
If you’re dead in a ditch somewhere I’m gonna fucking kill you!!
He typed out a quick message to his brother informing him that he was in fact still alive and that he would be home soon.
What he wasn’t expecting was Carmen and Tommy to host a surprise birthday dinner at his apartment. He wasn’t mad at his brother for not giving him a heads up, and it wasn’t like Tommy could tell Carmen a simple, hey, by the way, my brother is going to break up with you and he wants to move back to Texas!
But all Joel could feel now when she pressed her lips to his in a sweet kiss, and planted a silly little party hat on his head, was guilt. An overwhelming tidal wave of guilt and shame for what he was going to do. And throughout the evening his guilt began to fester like an untreated wound. Bubbling pus leaked from his heartstrings like a broken faucet when he opened his unexpected present from Carmen.
It was a pocket wrist watch with an olive green strap that fit his wrist perfectly.
“You’re always misplacing your phone, so I figured that this would help you tell the time better? I know it isn’t much—”
He interjected softly, looking over at her with a small smile tugging on his lips, “It’s perfect. Thank you.” I’m so sorry.
And when Tommy stepped outside for a smoke and to give Joel and Carmen a bit of privacy, the energy shifted and Joel could feel the thread between them being pulled tight, threatening to snap at any given moment.
“Joel, is everything okay? You’ve hardly said a word to me tonight.”
And instead of responding, he got up from the couch in a haste, trying to keep his nerves at bay, but truthfully? He was panicking and it was written all over his face. “I’m fine, Carm. I jus’—I need some air.” He walked the short distance to the little balcony, pulling the door open as he stepped outside into the cooling night air.
Lights shimmered in the distance, palm trees swayed from a breeze off the coast. 30 years old and he felt like the biggest fucking asshole on the planet. Can I fix this? Can I make it work?
He stared down at the watch on his wrist, the tiny spokes ticking away as he rested his forearms along the paint chipped railing, listening to the soft squeak of the sliding door being pulled open as the blood rushed in his ears.
He tapped his foot nervously, jaw ticking under the fading light at the realization that there was no turning back.
“Do you love me?” He suddenly spoke, teeth grinding down on the inside of his cheek, the taste of copper bursting on his tongue. A reminder come morning when he would awake to the same soreness in his mouth that he feels in his heart.
“Joel…” she trailed off, standing alongside him, rubbing her arm as a self-soothing gesture.
“Do you love me…unconditionally?” His question hung heavy in the air, and when she didn’t immediately answer, tears began to prick the corner of his eyes, stinging and blurring his vision.
“Baby, please…why are—”
“Please don’t call me that right now, Carmen. Please.” he sniffled, staring back out over the railing at the shimmering mirage of Los Angeles. “If you did love me unconditionally, you would have answered me right away. It’s okay, I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you. I jus’—I know you resent me for being a pornstar. I’ve known about it for a while,” he said softly, feeling a tear rolling down along the side of his nose and drip down over his lips. His dewy eyed gaze met hers briefly, before he looked away. “And I also know that you would never ask me to quit, but you and I both know that’s what you want from me.”
There was no point in trying to deny it any longer. There was no bad blood, no bitterness. Just two adults facing the reality that is life. And sometimes…relationships don’t work out. The passion fades and resentment rears its ugly head.
“And no matter how many times I have tried to earnestly explain to you why I chose this career path, you will never understand. And I would never try to force you to. But it’s not fair to you, myself, or Sarah to continue this relationship when you will never accept me for who I am, Carmen.”
“You’re right, Joel.” She said quietly, her own tears beginning to brew along her waterline. “I’m so sorry.”
He swallowed the lump growing in his throat and the sob threatening to leave his lips, “I am too.”
There isn’t much left to say as they hug for the last time. She wishes him well in life and he does the same. There’s a new ache in his chest at the thought of him no longer being involved in Sarah’s life anymore. But he believes she’ll be better off without him, too.
And when she leaves his apartment for the last time, taking almost 3 years of memories along with her as the front door clicks shut, and her echoing footsteps down the hall become softer and softer, he lets out the sob he had been suppressing, sinking down to his knees in defeat.
Tears stream down his cheeks as a car horn blares below on the street.
Fuck you, asshole! Get out of the road! The owner of a sleek BMW yells with the window rolled down to a teenager crossing the street on his bike.
30 years old and heartbroken. So much for having his shit together.
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steddieas-shegoes · 8 months
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Request: Wayne & Steve bonding. Can be 5+1 with the party members seeing it & then the +1 can be Steve realizing that Wayne is his safe adult & that he is included by both Wayne & Eddie (his partner) as a Munson
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY PLATONIC LOVE!!!! ALSO HAPPY 100TH WORK ON AO3 FOR ME!!!! I had started another request but then realized my 100th work needed to have Wayne. Like, it was a no brainer. I love Wayne Munson with my entire heart. He loves Steve with his entire heart. Here we are! - Mickala ❤️
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one
It started out pretty awkward.
Eddie had suggested the fishing trip, said it would be great for them to bond and get to know each other.
“Steve’s not goin’ anywhere, and Wayne’s approval is more important to me than anything else, so you might as well find some common ground,” he said to them both over dinner.
So Steve agreed to this fishing trip, and he agreed to let Wayne pick the place and drive them there and provide all the necessary tools.
He didn’t know how to fish so it made sense that he didn’t make any of the decisions.
Of course, Wayne didn’t know he didn’t know how to fish. He’d maybe made it sound like he used to go when he was younger, before his dad stopped showing any interest in spending time with him.
But his dad wasn’t really ever around, and certainly didn’t do anything to bond with him, so here he was.
Trying to pretend he knew how a worm went on a hook.
Wayne hadn’t said much, though Eddie had already warned him that it didn’t mean he didn’t like him, he just didn’t usually say much unless he knew you well.
He was pretty focused on baiting his own hook, or that’s what Steve thought it was called, and Steve didn’t really think it would go well if he interrupted to ask stupid questions.
“You’ve never done this before, have ya?” Wayne suddenly asked, not looking up from his hook.
“Um. No sir?” Steve replied.
No point in lying when it was so obvious he had no clue what he was doing.
Wayne finally looked at him, his eyes squinted as he searched his face.
“You want some help with that?” he finally asked Steve.
“Please.”
Wayne didn’t take the hook and worm from him though. Instead, he gently scooted closer and started showing Steve how to do it himself.
“There ya go! Now, professionals use different bait and hooks and all kindsa stuff I don’t have the patience for. We just use worms cuz they’re cheap and work just fine. You ever cast your own line or you need me to show ya?”
“I can watch you and then try,” Steve replied.
This was going…well. Wayne seemed eager to help instead of annoyed like Steve thought he would be.
He watched Wayne cast his line out, reeling it in just a bit once the bobber hit the water.
“Why do you reel it in like that?” Steve asked, genuinely curious.
“Keeps the line tight so you can see any movement. If the bait ain’t on there good, a fish might be able to wiggle it off, but if you see the line moving, you might be able to still catch him,” Wayne said quietly. “Think you can do it?”
Steve didn’t think he could, but he wanted to impress Wayne.
And then he did it.
“I did it!” he said, maybe a bit too loud for the environment.
“You did! Proud of ya!” Wayne said back, big smile on his face.
He didn’t seem to care that Steve was so loud he probably scared all the damn fish away, or that it was such a simple task that Steve accomplished.
He was just proud.
And when Steve caught his first fish 20 minutes later, he could have sworn he saw Wayne wipe a tear from his eye.
—---
two
“Invite him over,” Wayne suggested.
“To your house?” Steve said as he stopped putting his shoes on.
“Yeah. We got plenty of snacks. Lucas seems like a nice kid. He puts up with Eddie and that Max girl. Must be an angel actually,” Wayne snorted.
Steve looked at him, and at the tv that was already tuned in to the channel the basketball game would be on.
“If you’re sure…” Steve said, removing his shoes again to go call Lucas.
“Tell him to bring his ball and we can practice after! Only if you promise to go easy on me, I’m an old man,” Wayne added as he sipped on his beer.
Steve was quick on the phone, smiling to himself when Lucas seemed so excited about getting to hang out with Steve and Wayne.
Lucas made it just as the game started, sweating from the bike ride over.
“Grab a pop from the fridge and take a seat, kiddo,” Wayne said from his armchair.
“Is Eddie here?” Lucas asked as he did what Wayne said and sat down on the couch next to Steve.
“Nope. Had physical therapy and then band practice. Won’t see that boy until near midnight, I’d say.”
Steve nodded in agreement.
Eddie always got distracted at band practice, especially if they started smoking. Wayne always told him to call if he needed a ride, but not if he needed bail.
The game was intense, and all of them ended up standing on their feet pacing for the last two minutes of it. It was so back and forth, so close, they were almost certain it would go to overtime.
It didn’t though, and Wayne hugged both Steve and Lucas excitedly.
“Alright, who wants to go shoot some hoops?”
Steve knew for a fact the Munsons didn’t have a basketball net. Eddie wasn’t a sports guy and Wayne didn’t have time until pretty recently to have any hobbies.
But Steve and Lucas followed him onto the back porch and Steve stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the small cement pad now had a basketball net.
“When did you get that?”
“Well, when Eddie mentioned you still liked to play for fun, I figured it’d be nice to have. Not a lot of space out here for a real game, but it’s somethin’.”
Wayne looked shy, almost nervous, which was something he never was.
“You got this for Steve?” Lucas asked him.
“Yeah. You’re welcome to come over and practice anytime, too,” he said to Lucas with a smile.
“Seriously? This is awesome!” Lucas took his ball and ran down the porch steps to start shooting at the net.
“You got this for me?” Steve asked Wayne, still slightly surprised by the gesture.
“Yeah, kid. Want you to feel like this is your home too, ya know?”
“Oh.”
Steve wasn’t gonna cry, he wasn’t.
He hugged Wayne quickly, then joined Lucas. Wayne sat on the porch and watched for a bit, cheering when Lucas managed to score on him three times in a row.
Surprisingly, Eddie came home in the midst of an intense one on one match.
He took one look at Steve and Lucas, and turned to Wayne.
“Since when do we support jockhood in this house?” he asked him, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Since you fell in love with one,” Wayne smirked.
“I’m not- we haven’t- Wayne!” Eddie sputtered before going back inside.
Wayne shook his head, but continued watching Steve and Lucas competing against each other, hopefully for the first of many times.
—------
three
Max should go home. She couldn’t just hide at the Munson trailer every single time her mom had to work late.
She had to face her fears and just stay home alone.
But Eddie was here having a mini-session with Mike, Will, and Lucas, and she felt better being around all of them than being in her house.
Plus, Wayne had made her hot chocolate and let her taste test the cookies he made.
She wasn’t playing, but she watched the entire time, sipping on her hot chocolate and watching Wayne out of the corner of her eye.
He was in the kitchen baking something new, but had told her she couldn’t try this one yet.
It looked like a cake, but it had a lot of steps to it and she couldn’t be quite sure when he kept moving things from counter to counter and then counter to oven.
At exactly 7:00, Eddie clapped his hands, thanked everyone for coming, and told them to get out.
“How’s the cake comin’ old man? Steve’s gonna be here in 20 minutes!” Eddie said as he started frantically cleaning up.
Max watched as they both seemed to rush through their tasks, ignoring her entirely, maybe even forgetting she was still on the couch.
And then it hit her.
“Shit! It’s Steve’s birthday, isn’t it?” she asked.
Wayne and Eddie both stood in the doorway of the kitchen looking at her.
“Have you been here this whole time?” Eddie asked.
“Ed, I forgot the powdered sugar,” Wayne said suddenly.
“Fuck!” Eddie said, exasperated.
“Language!” Wayne huffed out, turning back to his cake. “I think my Ma used to just blend regular sugar to make it so she didn’t have to pay for it. Let me see how much sugar we got.”
“Max, let me walk you home,” Eddie said, forcing a smile.
But just as she was getting up to let him, not wanting to push him too much when he was so obviously stressed, the front door opened and Steve walked in.
“You will never believe what this woman did at closing time tonight. I thought Robin was going to have to go to jail. Oh. Hey Max.”
Steve paused as he took in the looks of panic on Max and Eddie’s face and the chaos happening in the kitchen.
“Is everything okay?” Steve asked, suddenly worried.
“Everything’s great! Actually, can you walk Max home?”
“Is that Steve?” Wayne asked from the kitchen, peeking around the doorway. “Dammit, I need 10 minutes!”
Eddie shooed Steve back out the door and Max followed without being asked.
When the door shut behind them, Steve looked at Max with a confused look.
“Happy birthday, I guess?” she shrugged.
“Oh. Is that today?” he asked.
“Apparently. I don’t think the Munsons understand the idea behind not celebrating birthdays.”
Steve laughed, smiling fondly at the closed front door.
“Alright, well. Let’s get you home so they can embarrass me without an audience.”
They walked down the road to Max’s trailer in silence. Max didn’t mind it with Steve, it felt like they both needed it.
But when they arrived at her house, she turned to Steve and hugged him.
“All good, red?” he asked as he hugged her back.
“Yeah. Just glad we have them.”
“Who? The Munsons?”
“Yeah. They’re pretty great.”
Steve smiled down at her.
“Yeah, they’re alright.”
—----------
four
Nancy spent a lot of time at the library. Probably more than anyone else in Hawkins.
She’d seen it all.
The nerds using it to study, the old people reading the newspaper, the kids being brought by their moms for storytime.
She’d never once seen a Munson.
Until today.
Wayne Munson was standing in the aisle of books that held books about gardening.
He looked lost, and she wanted to help.
“Hey, Wayne right?” she whispered.
He jumped, but then relaxed when he saw it was just a young woman.
“Yes, and you are?”
“Nancy. You probably don’t remember, but I was with everyone when Eddie was brought into the hospital,” she said, hating to bring up bad memories, but needing him to know that she knew Eddie.
“Ah, yes. Mike’s sister?”
“That’s me.” She cleared her throat. “You look like you need some help. I’m basically a librarian for how often I’m here, so maybe I can help?”
“Yeah. I’m lookin’ for a book about trees that can grow here easily. All these seem to be about tropical plants.”
He was right. For some reason, most of the books available were about tropical plants or encyclopedias about flowers.
“There is one…hold on.” Nancy walked a few feet away and looked at the one book she knew would have the information he needed. “Here it is!” She handed it to him. “Any specific tree you’re looking for?”
“Well, I’m gonna plant a tulip tree in the backyard, but I need to know what it needs.”
Nancy smiled.
“You a fan of tulip trees?”
“Ah can’t say I care either way. But Steve likes ‘em and he’s been feelin’ a bit down lately, so figured it might make him smile.”
Nancy frowned.
“He’s been down?” she asked.
Admittedly, she hadn’t seen him much lately, but that was because he was busy working with Robin and spending his free time with Eddie or the kids.
“Well, it ain’t my business to say, but his parents came to town last week and he ain’t been the same since. He won’t talk about it, not even with Ed,” Wayne sounded sad, but also angry.
She placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I know they’re frustrating to say the least. But he’ll be alright. I’m glad he has you to cheer him up,” she smiled at him.
“Me too. You won’t tell him about this yet, right?”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
—-------------
five
Robin was hot.
“Steve, there is no way this pool takes this long to clean,” she said from her chair.
“Maybe it wouldn’t if I had help,” Steve said with a sigh.
“I think he’s expecting us to help him,” Eddie said from his chair next to her, not opening his eyes to actually look.
“It’s not as hot in the pool,” he tried to bribe them.
“As if we would get in that untreated dirty water!” Eddie exclaimed.
“We have all literally been covered in Upside Down dust and demo-creature blood.”
“Against our will!” Robin exclaimed.
“Alright, I’m calling Wayne,” Steve said as he got out of the pool.
Not even 20 minutes later, Steve was walking back outside, Wayne trailing behind him in a bathing suit.
“I’m scraping the bottom first so I can scoop any debris out before I treat it,” Steve explained to him. “I think that last storm we got just got a lot of heavier limbs in it so there’s more than I expected.”
“And these two are just watching?”
“We’re supervising. Here for emergencies and getting him drinks when needed,” Eddie said.
“Right. So I’ll take a cold beer,” Wayne said with a smirk.
Eddie moved his sunglasses off his face and glared at him.
“You just came from inside.”
“And now I’m hot. Get me a beer or go home.”
Robin watched the exchange like a tennis match, then turned to Steve who was getting back in the pool like he was used to this kind of thing happening all the time.
“I’m so glad he called you,” she said to Wayne as Eddie grumbled his way inside.
“Me too,” Wayne said, no hint of sarcasm in his tone.
Robin watched them work, taking in the way Wayne explained the best way to treat the pool (“shock it, but then focus on the filter itself, not just the actual pool”) and how long it should sit.
An hour later, they were finishing up the main part of the treatment, and Wayne knocked Steve’s shoulder.
“Great job, kid. Probably wanna let it sit overnight so no one’s skin is burnin’ though.”
“What?! We can’t even swim today?” Eddie shrieked.
“Go swim in the bathtub. Better yet, a puddle in the road,” Wayne yelled back at him. He turned back to Steve. “You comin’ for dinner tonight?”
“Yeah, let me clean up first. Want me to bring anything?”
“Just yourself, you know that.”
Wayne turned to go, and grabbed Eddie’s ear.
“Ow!”
“You’re comin’ with me. You got some stuff to do around the trailer before I let you come over here and swim.”
“I’m a grown man!”
“And grown men clean up before their boyfriends come over. Let’s go.”
Wayne walked away, knowing Eddie would follow him.
Robin couldn’t help the loud laugh she let out as Eddie scrambled to follow, nearly tripping over his own feet when he stopped to kiss Steve quickly before leaving the back patio.
“They’re a blast,” Robin said when they were gone.
“They’re the best,” Steve said fondly.
—----------
plus one
It was too late for someone to be knocking on the door, but Wayne knew better than to ignore it.
Too many late night knocks had been because of emergencies.
“Go back to bed, Ed,” he said to Eddie when he saw him coming out of his bedroom, half asleep and half naked.
But he knew Eddie would be curious and wasn’t surprised when he followed him to the front door.
“Steve?”
He had an armful of Steve as soon as he said his name, wrapping his arms around him protectively.
It was damn near two in the morning, why the hell was he here?
“Are you hurt, son?”
He heard Steve let out a loud sob against his chest and he quickly pulled him inside all the way, closing the door so the neighbors wouldn’t hear and get nosy.
“Stevie?” Eddie asked from behind Wayne.
“Go get some water for him, Ed,” Wayne said over his shoulder. “Steve? What happened?”
“They kicked me out. They found out about Eddie and kicked me out,” Steve said between sobs and panting breaths.
“Alright. Let’s sit down for a minute,” Wayne tried to stay calm, but anger was coursing through his body.
Who could kick out their own son? Especially over something so small?
He shouldn’t be surprised that the Harringtons would, but it still felt like someone poured cold water over him.
“I don’t know what to do. I have nowhere to go,” Steve whimpered.
“Now that right there is nonsense, son. You got us right here, don’t ya? You think we’d let you be homeless when Ed’s got a perfectly good bed for you to sleep in? Hell, ya sleep in it most nights a week anyway.” Wayne sighed, running his hands up and down Steve’s back as they sat on the couch. “You belong here with us. It’s their loss and someday they’ll have to live with the regret of hurtin’ you. But you’re my kid, and you ain’t gonna be livin’ on the streets. Understand me?”
Steve nodded against his chest.
Eddie walked in silently with a glass of water, fear in his eyes.
Wayne gave him a look and hoped he was communicating that he shouldn’t ask right now.
“You wanna have some water for me? Maybe a nice hot shower and then bed?” Wayne asked.
Steve nodded.
“Look at me, Steve.” He waited for Steve to look at him. “You’re my son. I love you and I want you to be here. You deserve to be loved just as you are.”
Steve sniffled, trying to hold back another sob as he nodded.
Wayne watched him sip on the water for a few minutes, and watched as Eddie walked him to the bathroom to make sure he had everything he needed for a shower.
He never understood how parents could look at their children and feel anything but the purest form of love.
Steve may not be his biologically, but he was practically a Munson since the day he carried Eddie out of Hell.
If Wayne had to help him out his own version of Hell, then he’d do it with a smile on his face and praise on his tongue.
562 notes · View notes
lucidlivi · 8 months
Text
Never Been You
Requested: @hzllxhoundxx
Everything Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 (if you'd like added to my everything tag list, please indicate by saying "please tag me in everything Jensen/Dean")
Warnings: Angst, Demon Dean, Kidnapping, Violence, Mature Themes, Demon Dean Being an Absolute Dick
Following S10 E2, S10 E3 (of course with my twist!)
I got carried away so this is a hella long one for you guys!
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"you need to get to Beulah North Dakota now!" I rushed out to Castiel who was on the other end of the phone call.
"I do?"
"yes, Crowley and Dean were there, we have to pick up their trail."
I looked over to see Sam in the truck hunched over in pain.
"good, great."
I felt the emotions wash over me for what felt like the thousandth time since seeing the footage of Dean, our Dean, sporting black eyes. Castiel has no idea.
"Not exactly, Cas, Dean's a Demon." I said feeling the unshed tears slip from my eyes.
"Dean's a Demon? How?"
"It's the mark Cas, it messed him up, I don't know." I cried.
"that's a vast understatement." Castiel grumbled.
"look Cas, I know you're not feeling so hot right now, but I need you, it’s sort of an all hands on deck situation, so…"
"so I'll be there."
I hopped back in the truck I had rescued Sam in and continued to drive to North Dakota. I played through every scenario in mind of how this could go, and none of them ended well.
I needed to find Dean, I needed to help him.
"I got a lead, disturbance at a night club, a rowdy patron beat a security guard senseless. It sounds like a demon thing to do." Sam said looking at his phone.
"I guess let's check it out then."
It was still daytime when we were pulling up to the strip club.
Of course Dean would end up here.
"think that's the guy?" I asked Sam, looking at a muscular security guard who was wearing a sling identical to Sam's and had two black eyes.
"I would say it's a safe bet."
I stopped the truck hopping out, followed by Sam.
"excuse me sir, is this the guy who attacked you last night?" Sam asked straight forward, showing a picture of Dean.
"that's the guy, I called 911 but he was gone before they showed up."
Damn.
I didn't expect him to still be here, but it felt like a blow to the gut to actually hear it.
"that dude get to you too?" He asked Sam referencing his sling.
"uh no, this uh is just a hunting accident." Sam responded.
"would you do us a favor, if this guy shows back up, please give us a call." I said producing a fake FBI business card with my number on it.
"you bet."
"thanks."
I ran a hand through my hair with a huff before getting back in the truck.
"what now?" I asked, feeling the tears prick at my eyes again.
I couldn't bare the thought of Dean actually being a demon.
"I don't know." Sam said in defeat.
I drove the truck to a nearby motel, renting us a room. Sam had been through hell, he needed to rest. I helped him lay down on the bed, noticing his eyes get instantly heavy.
"I'll be right back, I'm just going to get something out of the truck." I told him, rushing outside.
As soon as I stepped outside, I heard a voice that made my blood boil with anger.
"hello there love."
I turned around to see Crowley with a smirk on his face.
"did ya miss me?"
I huffed in anger, reaching behind me to pull a blade from my belt loop.
"oh so much." I growled.
"easy now, I know you're here for Dean, and I'm here to give him to you."
Is this a trick?
I could never truly trust Crowley.
"I don't understand."
"you see he's bad for business, he's.. he's become uncontrollable, must be the mark.." Crowley trails off with a smirk.
"anywho Dean's your problem now, again, forever." Crowley added.
"then where the hell is he?" I snapped, not being able to contain my anger towards the king of hell.
"ah ah, first there's a small matter of my finders fee."
"nothing ever comes free with you, wouldn't have expected anything less."
****************************************************
I hesitantly walk in to the bar not knowing what to expect. I didn't even tell Sam where I was going. I knew he didn't have the strength to fight, and I didn't want him to get hurt.
"hiya angel." Dean said looking up at me with a smirk.
I felt my breathing get heavy as I looked at him. It was Dean in the flesh, but this thing was so far from Dean. Dean was brave, he was kind, Dean cared.
"I told you to let me go." Dean said picking up his glass of whiskey and sipping it.
"you know I can't do that Dean."
He smirked, taking another sip.
"by the way, your pal Crowley, he sold you out, didn't take him much." I said stepping a bit closer.
"sounds like him."
"Dean, we can cure demons, don't you remember that?" I asked taking another step closer.
Dean picked up the first blade, walking past me in a threatening manner.
"a little latin, lot of blood, yeah it rings a bell. but did you ever stop to think that if I wanted to be cured, I wouldn't have bailed."
"Dean that was Crowley, you don't know what you're doing."
"that's what you think." Dean said pouring himself another glass of whiskey.
"well it doesn't matter Dean, whatever happened, whatever went down, we will fix it." I said cautiously taking another step towards him.
"Oh will we? Meanwhile I'm doing all I can to not come over there and rip your throat out."
"Dean you don't mean that."
"I'm giving you a chance to run sweetheart, better take it." Dean threatened.
"I'll pass." I said quickly.
“I'm not walking out that door with you, I'm just not, so what are you going to do angel, huh? Are you going to kill me?" Dean asked.
I felt a chill run down my spine at the way he called me angel. It was laced with venom.
"I didn't come here to kill you."
"why? you have no idea what I've done, in fact I might have it coming."
"I don't care Dean, you're my best friend, and I'm here to take you home. I'm here to save you."
I wanted to admit so much more to him.
I wanted to tell him that it's because I was in love with him and couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I was worried now that I wouldn't get the chance too.
I heard Dean start to chuckle.
"save me? why would you want to save me? it's never been you, you know." Dean said taking a sip.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Dean got up sauntering his way over to me. I instinctively took a step back, not trusting him. I soon found out though, the more distance I tried to put between us the closer he got. I raised my hand up putting it on his chest to stop him from getting any closer.
Dean smirked at me before twisting my arm and bringing his hand up to my throat. He pinned me to the wall a twisted look in his eyes. I felt a chill run down my spine, he was getting pleasure out of this.
"I see the way you look at me, the way you lust for me, you want me." Dean smirked.
I glared at him, trying to turn my face away, his hold on my throat getting tighter.
"you don't want to kill me because you're in love with me, and you have been for quite some time, haven't you?"
I couldn't speak, Dean's hold on me was too tight. I furrowed my eyebrows as if to convey he wasn't right, even though he was.
"and its never been you for me.. you see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, i've been fucking everything with a heartbeat." Dean growled.
I could feel the tears brim my eyes as his words cut in to me. I knew he was just trying to hurt me, but part of me wondered if that's how Dean actually felt.
He let go of my throat, shoving me to the floor. I instantly stood back up taking out the handcuffs from my back pocket.
"you really think those are going to work sweetheart?" Dean asked with a smirk.
"well there's one way to find out."
As I took a step forward, the window shattered and the entire room started filling with smoke. I looked to my left to see someone had threw a smoke grenade. I felt the air rush from my lungs as I breathed in the smoke. I put my shirt over my mouth and nose, trying to find an exit. I started to cough, as my vision got blurry.
I finally found the emergency exit, pushing it open. I saw the silhouette of a man on the other side as I collapsed from smoke inhalation. He struck me across the face hard, causing me to fall back to the ground, hitting my head in the process.
I was seeing stars as I sat clutching my bleeding head. Dean came out glaring the man down. I heard them exchange some words, but couldn't make out exactly what they were saying.
I noticed myself start to slip in and out of consciousness.
I saw them start to fight, Dean clearly having the upper hand.
I felt like my head was on fire, as I glanced up seeing Dean holding the first blade to the guys neck. He was going to kill him. I was surprised when he dropped him, tucking the blade back in to his pocket. I tried to muster up any strength I could to get up, but my body was betraying me. Dean walked over to me, a sick grin etched on to his face as he swayed his hips.
"Dean please." I choked out.
"time to sleep now baby."
Dean raised his hand striking me, and that's the last thing I remember before my world went dark.
****************************************************
I was in agonizing pain as I fluttered my eyelashes open. I panicked as I couldn't move my body. I looked down to see my arms and legs were bound to a wooden chair. I gathered from my surroundings that I was in some kind of warehouse, but I didn't recognize where.
"oh good, you're awake."
Dean came over crouching in front of me so we were eye level.
"let me go." I growled.
"can't do that angel." He said caressing my cheek.
I quickly moved my head away, causing his hand to fall.
"you don't want to provoke me." Dean growled.
"or what? you're going to kill me?"
Dean gave a sickly sweet smile. He leaned in close whispering in my ear.
"or you're going to wish you were dead."
"I'm not scared of you Dean." I snapped.
Dean lets out a chuckle, standing to his feet.
"I knew there was a reason I liked you so much, feisty little thing."
"why don't you let me out of these ropes and I'll show you just how feisty I can be."
Dean chuckled again, grabbing a bottle of whiskey taking a sip.
"I don't even know why I'm talking to you, this isn't even the real you." I scoffed.
"oh it's the real me alright, the new real me, the me who sees things for what they actually are."
I scoffed again rolling my eyes at his words.
"hunters, do-gooders, fighting the natural order, well let me tell you something sweetheart people like me, we are the natural order."
"yeah well people like me still gotta do what we can." I growled.
Dean smirked as he crouched back down to my eye level.
"oh don't be so full of yourself baby, cause you see from where I'm sitting, there ain't much difference from what I turned in to, to what you already are." Dean smirked.
"and what is that supposed to mean?" I growled.
Dean took one hand resting on my cheek, the other on the back of my neck so I couldn't move away from him again.
"I know what you did when you went looking for me, how far you went." Dean whispered, dangerously close to my face.
I felt the guilt sink back in.
I just kept telling myself I did what I had to in order to find Dean. I felt my breathing quicken as Dean came in closer, practically brushing his lips against mine.
"so let me ask you baby, which one of us is really the monster?"
I felt the tears brimming my lashes as Dean stared at me. Dean smirked as he stood back up.
"Now you and Sammy were trying to get a twenty on Crowley and me from any demon you could snag, but Crowley didn't want to be found, and no one showed when you summoned. But you my angel, you found your own way didn't you?"
I was ridden with guilt as I remembered how I tricked Lester in to summoning a demon to make a deal.
"You would've liked to have gotten there before the deal went down but you didn't really care about poor ol' Lester did you? Oh and just so you know, I uh killed Lester myself." Dean smirked as if it were funny.
"I never meant.." I started to choke out but Dean cut me off.
"who cares what you meant, that line that we thought was so clear between us and the things we hunted, ain't so clear is it?" Dean yelled.
I bit my lip to stop the tears from falling.
"wow, you know, you might actually be worse then me. I mean you took a guy at his lowest, used him, and it cost him his life and his soul, nice work baby." Dean said crouching back down.
I spit in his face, the anger I was feeling towards him boiling over. Dean angrily wiped his face off with the hem of his shirt.
"there's no point in trying to bring your best friend back now." Dean growled.
"oh I’ll bring him back, if it's the last thing I do." I growled.
"In fact, your uh guilt ridden, weight-of-the-world best friend, has been M.I.A. for quite some time now. I have to say though, I'm loving the new model, lean, mean, Dean."
I rolled my eyes turning my head away from him.
"I can't believe you're still trying! I mean, I couldn't wait to get away from you. I chose the king of hell over you! I guess I was just tired of having to coddle you, always having to yank your ass out of the fire. Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?" Dean said.
I could feel the tears run down my cheeks as he spoke.
"this isn't my best friend talking, he would never say those things." I spoke, more for my benefit than for his.
"you never had a best friend, just an excuse for wimping out, and guess what angel, I quit."
"no, you don't get to quit, we don't quit, okay you and me Dean we're bonded whether you like it or not, and this bond is all that we've got." I cried.
"well then we've got nothing." Dean smirked.
I looked down at the floor, praying that Sam had noticed I was gone. I was praying to Castiel to come find me. I knew if it came down to it, I couldn't kill Dean, even if it meant he'd kill me. I was praying for another solution.
I heard the door open and the sound of heeled footsteps against the floor.
"you brought us a play thing?"
I looked up to see a female, she wore black eyes similar to Deans.
"not us, mine." Dean growled at the girl who took a step closer to me.
"but I want to play too." she smirked coming over to me, brushing a piece of hair off my bare shoulder.
I shivered at her touch, trying to move away with what limited space I had.
"I said no." Dean growled.
I glanced up meeting Dean's eyes and for a second, just a second, I could see he wasn't totally gone.
"have you gone soft on us Winchester?"
"ha, not even, but you see that one's kind of a special project of mine, and I want to kill her myself." Dean smirked staring at me.
"okay, then I won't kill her."
As she said this, she shoved the chair back, causing me to hit my head on the concrete below. I grunted as the air was knocked out of my lungs.
"I'll just hurt her." she laughed.
"Dean please." I pleaded, struggling to breathe.
"Dean's gone." the woman whispered, running a hand through my hair.
"Dean I know you're in there. I'm begging you. I always rely on you because I know I can. Dean you're the most selfless person I know. I know that somewhere inside you still care. I know you don't want to hurt me Dean." I cried.
As I was putting on my show, I managed to wiggle one of my arms free. I reached around to grab my blade that was hidden in my belt loop, but I didn't feel anything.
"are you looking for this?" she smirked, inspecting the demon blade.
"go back to hell where you belong." I snapped.
"nice show, even almost had me fooled for a second." I heard her laugh.
She held the blade to my cheek. I could feel my breathing quicken as she ran the blade down my cheek towards my neck. She pressed in just enough to draw a small trickle of blood. I looked past her to try to reason with Dean again but I didn't see him.
I suddenly felt blood splatter on my face. It was coming from the woman's mouth as Dean plunged the first blade deeper in to her spine. I watched the life leave her eyes in an instant. Dean grunted as he ripped the blade out, her now lifeless body slumping over my own. He threw her body off of me, picking the chair back up.
He started to pace around the room as if he wasn’t sure what just happened.
"look what you made me do!" Dean yelled.
"Dean, let me go, and then I can help you." I whimpered weakly.
Dean glared at me, his eyes going black before flashing back to his normal green ones. Dean growled, opening the door to the room before slamming it shut leaving me alone.
I had to get out of here. I noticed my blade still on the ground, just a few feet from where I sat. If I can get to it, I can cut myself free.
I leaned over as far as I could, causing the chair to tip over sideways. I once again smacked my head on the concrete as I fell. I groaned at the impact but shook it off, using my free arm to pull myself closer to the knife. I reached out my arm, my fingers just barely grazing the handle.
"come on!" I exclaimed, trying to grip it again.
I finally managed to wrap my fingers around the handle of the blade. I breathed a momentary sigh of relief, cutting my other arm free from the ropes than cutting my ankles free. I stood up weakly looking for an exit. I took my sleeve, wiping the blood off my face.
I wasn't sure how much of it was hers, and how much of it was my own.
I finally saw a red exit sign. I mustered up all my strength sprinting over to it. I put my hand on the door, but suddenly stopped.
I couldn't leave him.
I wouldn't.
I was debating with myself when I heard a loud growl. Dean must've come back and noticed I was gone.
"you're coming home whether you like it or not." I whispered, running through the warehouse.
I could hear Dean walking after me, opening doors as he went. It was eery how calm he walked.
"come on baby, don't you want to hang out with me, spend a little quality time." Dean yelled.
I quieted my breathing as I found the keys to the electrical room. I moved quietly against the walls towards the room.
I heard Dean kick down some doors, growling every time I wasn't behind one of them. I managed to get to the electrical room. I fumbled with the keys trying to unlock the door.
"fuck" I muttered in frustration.
I finally got in, and immediately pulled every switch I could, killing the power.
"that's smart angel, but now I know where to find you." Dean growled as he rushed towards where I was.
I hid against the wall waiting for him. I heard him enter quietly, looking around for me.
"come on out angel, you're just making things worse for yourself." Dean growled.
I rushed over to the door, just as Dean threw the switches back, restarting the power.
"now this is me yanking your ass out of the fire." I spit slamming the door and locking him inside.
I heard Dean chuckle.
"this is your big plan, locking me in?"
"Dean, just please come with me and we can cure you." I said holding out my demon blade.
It was completely silent.
"Dean?"
I jumped in fright as Dean banged on the door, slowly splitting the wood.
"you act like I wanna be cured, personally I like the disease." Dean growled, using a hammer he found to break the door down.
"Dean stop! I don't want to use this blade on you!" I yelled holding it out further in front of my body.
"that sucks for you doesn't it angel, cause you really mean that." Dean smirked, hitting the door with the hammer again.
"Dean if you come out of that room, I won't have a choice." I whimpered, choking back tears.
"oh sure you will, and I know which one you'll make, isn't that right baby?" Dean growled smacking the door harder.
I knew the door wouldn't hold him much longer.
"I'm lucky though, cause there's just enough demon left in me that killing you, ain't gonna be a choice at all." Dean growled continuing to break the door down.
I felt the tears streaming down my face at this point. I could see the door giving way. I turned around sprinting away before it broke completely. I heard one last loud bang before the door gave way. Dean's heavy footsteps were once again behind me.
"come on angel, lets kiss and make up. I'm tired of playing let's finish this game." Dean growled.
I leaned against the wall taking a deep breath. I didn't have the strength to continue. I knew I was no match for him.
I glanced down the corridor where I thought Dean was coming from. I didn't see him though.
I turned around just in time to see a hammer flying towards my head. I ducked quickly, pushing my demon blade against Dean's throat. I could hear Dean chuckle as he looked at me, raising his hands in mock surrender.
"well, well look at you baby, go on do it." Dean growled leaning in to the knife.
I felt the tears cloud my vision as I slowly dropped the knife.
I couldn't kill him.
I watched as Dean's eyes went black. He gripped my throat throwing me against the wall before slamming me on the ground. I watched him take out the first blade, bringing it above his head.
"Dean I love you."
I closed my eyes, waiting for death to come.
But it didn't.
I opened my eyes to see Dean growling, as if he was fighting an inner battle with himself, a battle for his soul. I caught sight of Castiel sneaking up behind Dean, wrapping him in his arms. Dean growled, trying to get out of his grasp.
"Dean it's over." Cas said his eyes flashing their beautiful blue.
Dean collapsed in CastieI's arms, before I slapped the demon cuffs on him. I felt myself relax as I saw Sam rushing to my side.
****************************************************
"I'll meet you guys soon, just one thing left to do." I said holding the first blade in my hand.
"Be careful." Sam said placing a kiss on my forehead.
I gave him a nod, watching him get in the impala with Castiel and a still unconscious Dean. I sighed as they pulled away from me.
"you can stop hiding now." I called.
I saw Crowley emerge from the shadows, a smirk on his face as he eyed the blade.
"pleasure doing business with you." He spoke reaching his hand out.
I quickly pulled it out of his reach.
"what are you going to do with it?" I inquired.
"oh toss it in a volcano, leave it on the moon, i'll get creative." He laughed.
I hesitantly eyed him.
"believe me love, I don't want Dean getting his hands on the precious any more than you do. he knows I've ratted and he tends to hold a grudge....I don't want to get how you say boned."
I rolled my eyes at him.
"besides a deals a deal."
I huffed before handing the blade over to him.
"I hope you know this doesn't make us square, quite the opposite actually, I swear Crowley if I see you again.." I started but he cut me off.
"oh stop it love, no one likes a tease."
I glared at him one last time before hopping in the truck, starting the drive back to Kansas.
I felt like my head was going to explode from everything that had happened in such a short time. Dean's words replayed in my head on a continuous loop.
It wasn't him, I know that. It didn't make anything he said any less hurtful though.
It's never been you.
You see while you've been trying to find me, trying to save me, I've been fucking everything with a heartbeat.
Do you ever stop to think that just your very existence sucks the life out of my life?
I felt the tears cloud my vision, making the road harder to see. I pulled over to the side of the road and cried. I let out every emotion I'd been holding in.
I cried for Dean, I cried for what he went through. I cried for me. I cried for the strain that this was going to put on our relationship. I just cried.
I didn't know how long I'd been crying but I finally collected myself enough to start driving again. I knew that Sam and Castiel could handle Dean. I'm sure they were already back in Kansas, starting the purified blood cure on Dean.
I didn't even know if I was ready to face him again. I spilled my darkest secret to Dean, fearing that I would be dead and never having the chance to tell him.
Dean didn't kill me though.
He could have very easily, I didn't put up much of a fight.
But he didn't.
I was praying that maybe some part of him felt something for me too.
I managed to make the rest of the drive to Kansas. I pulled up to the bunker, hearing Dean growl as the demon was expelled from his body. I hesitantly walked over seeing him slumped over in a chair, much like I was hours ago. Sam injected another syringe of purified blood in to his arm.
"what the hell are we doing to him guys? I mean even after everything he said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human." I spoke, feeling the tears that I was sure I had cried all out, start to rim my eyes once again.
"well, I can see his point, you know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain." Castiel said staring directly at me while talking about pain.
"I guess this is easier." Sam added.
I was about to respond when Dean groaned, trying to move. He raised his head, showing us his black eyes, before they returned to their shade of green.
Dean groaned hoarsely before exhaling a big breath. He looked at the three of us confused, as if everything was coming back to him.
"you look worried guys." Dean spoke up.
I could feel Dean's eyes stay on me. He stared at me intently. I just hoped I didn't look as broken as I felt.
Castiel, Sam, and I gave each other a look, all wondering the same thing. Was Dean back?
Sam uncapped the holy water throwing it on to Dean's face. I sighed with relief when he didn't have a reaction to it. Sam smiled at us. I was still a little apprehensive as was Castiel.
"Dean, we've missed you." Sam said.
Castiel and Sam unchained Dean, helping him to his feet. I felt like every word I wanted to say was stuck in my throat. Dean stared at me as the boys led him to his room. He was weak, the blood cure taking a lot out of him.
How was I even supposed to talk to him about this?
Castiel and Sam returned quickly after getting Dean settled.
"how's he doing?" I asked the boys.
"he's still a little out of it, but better. I mean I think the blood cure, all of it, it really wrecked him you know." Sam said giving me an apologetic look.
It was silent for a moment.
"on the plus side, he's hungry again so I'm going to go pick us up some food, you guys mind keeping an eye?" Sam added grabbing the keys to the impala.
I nodded my head as he walked out. Castiel was unnaturally quiet.
"what is it Cas?"
"one problem is solved, but one still remains. Dean is no longer a demon, that's true, but the mark of cain, that he still has, and sooner or later that's going to become an issue.”
I knew he was right, Castiel always was.
"one battle at a time Cas." I half smiled.
Castiel looked at me with a sad face. It was no use hiding my emotions from him because the angel always figured it out. Castiel stepped up, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I felt a tear cascade down my cheek as I sunk in his embrace.
"I'm uh, going to get cleaned up." I whispered.
I felt every muscle in my body aching as I walked to the bathroom. I cringed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked like hell.
I sported a hand shaped bruise around my throat, along with a cut from my knife. I had a gash on my head, and my face was still crimson colored from the blood. I could see various other bruises forming all over. I licked over my lip that was busted from being thrown against the wall by Dean.
I definitely looked as broken as I felt.
I sighed as I stepped in to the steady stream of water, the sound of the water slapping against my skin drowned out my sobs. I scrubbed my skin until it felt raw.
I got out wrapping the towel tightly around my body. I tiptoed past Deans room. I couldn't help my curiosity as I heard Dean and Castiel talking.
"thank you, for stepping in when you did... has uh she talked to you? what does she say, does she want anything to do with me?" Dean asked.
I could hear the hurt in his voice. It made me hurt more.
"I'm sure she knows whatever you said, whatever you did, that wasn't really you, I mean it certainly wasn't all of you." Castiel reassured.
"Cas, I tried to kill her. Did you see her? I did that! I can't take back the things I said Cas." Dean said.
"Dean I feel I can be honest with you. You two have been through so much together, you're bonded. It'll take a lot more than you trying to kill her with a hammer to get her to walk away." Castiel said.
"you realize how screwed up our lives are that, that even makes sense?" Dean says causing Cas to chuckle.
"I think you should talk to her, and then maybe you should uh take some time, allow both of you to heal."
I heard Castiel exit Dean's room, closing the door. He gave me a wordless look as he passed, signifying that his words were just as much meant for me as they were for Dean.
Castiel the wise.
Of course I couldn't walk away from Dean.
I sighed as I walked to my room, quickly throwing on some clothes. As soon as I lay in my soft bed, I realize how burnt out I was. I heard a soft knock on my door.
"yeah?" I called out hesitantly.
"it's me, the real me."
I felt the air get caught in my throat.
"come in."
Dean opened the door slowly. I could see the hurt flashing in his eyes at he looked at me. I sat up not meeting his eyes. Dean walked over, sitting on the edge of my bed.
"(y/n), I.."
"you don't have to apologize Dean, I know that wasn't you." I spoke.
"it doesn't make it any less shitty though." He said through gritted teeth.
"or hurt any less." I admitted.
Dean ran a hand through his hair in frustration. I could see that this was really hurting him.
"but you could've killed me, and you didn't, you saved me, you stopped yourself." I said finally meeting his eyes.
"I couldn't kill you. I feel for you too much, even as a demon." Dean whispered, hesitantly looking at me.
I felt my heart swell up at his words.
"what I said, it wasn't true." Dean said, sliding just a bit closer to my body.
"it's okay if part of it was, it's never been me and that's okay." I said feeling my heartache.
Dean looked at me as if I had three heads.
"never been you? It's always been you."
I felt the tears run down my cheeks as Dean put a hand up, caressing one of them.
"Dean I don't know how we move on from this." I cried.
"I don't know either, but we're going to do it, together, just like always."
I smiled at Dean for the first time.
"there's my Dean." I whispered.
Dean leaned in slowly, leaning his forehead against mine.
"did you mean what you said?" Dean asked hesitantly.
I gave him a confused look.
"that you love me, did you mean it?"
I swallowed nervously as I stared at him. I slowly nodded my head adverting my eyes from his gaze. Dean grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.
I gasped as Dean crashed his lips on to mine. I was shocked so naturally I was still. Once my brain processed what was happening I pressed my lips against his, kissing him as if my life depended on it. He pulled away slowly, keeping his forehead pressed to mine.
“I love you too, I always have.” Dean spoke.
I felt the tears well in my eyes again, but these tears were different. These weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of pure love.
Dean smiled as he reconnected our lips together in a heated kiss. It was lustful, neither one of use being able to contain the passion we had felt for each other for far too long.
Dean slid his hands under my shirt, gripping on to my hips as he deepened the kiss. I was so caught up in the moment I ignored my muscles screaming at me to stop. Dean brought my shirt over my head, breaking the kiss just long enough to do so. I felt insecure as my bare chest was now exposed for him. I panted as he brought his lips down to my neck gently kissing over the bruise.
“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Dean said in between kisses.
I grabbed the hem of his shirt taking it off. I saw the mark of cain glistening on his forearm. I brought his arm to my lips, slowly kissing over the mark. Dean pushed me back on the bed so he was hovering over me. I gasped as his hands slid there way down my body to my shorts.
It was slow and passionate. I felt like my skin was on fire every time his fingertips met my skin. Dean dragged my shorts down my legs, his fingers brushing against my sensitive heat.
I wasted no time putting my hands in his pants yanking them down over his butt and down his legs. I was surprised to feel that he was already fully erect.
“do you want this?” Dean asked kissing my lips.
“more than i’ve ever wanted anything.”
Dean, with my consent slowly slid himself in to me. I groaned as my body adjusted to his large girth. He started to move at a slow pace, savoring the feeling of finally being together so intimately.
“It’s always been you.” Dean said as he thrusted deeply.
I don’t think either of us had the energy for the sex we really wanted to have but this sex was sweet, and full of love. I moaned as Dean picked up the pace, but still savoring the feeling of every thrust inside of me. I brought my hips up matching his thrusts. I was a moaning mess as we thrusted against each other, our lips crashing with each thrust.
“Dean” I moaned signifying that I was close.
Dean thrusted some more, softly but at a steady rhythm. I moaned one last time as I felt myself spilling over the edge. I was gripping him so hard, it cause him to release his arousal too. Dean’s body gave out as he collapsed beside me.
“hey guys I got the… oh god really Dean?” Sam said dropping the bag of food and covering his eyes.
I laughed at him, joined by Dean.
“not even back twenty four hours and this is how you’re spending your time.” Sam groaned in embarrassment.
“blame Cas, he’s the one that told us we should talk.” Dean laughed.
Sam backed out of my room, shutting the door behind him. I gazed at Dean but found out he was already staring at me.
“I didn’t save you, you saved me.” Dean whispered tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I’ll always save you Dean.”
“Always?”
“Always.”
Author Note:
I really hope you guys like it! If you feel so inclined please leave a heart, comment, reblog or a follow! I appreciate it!
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skybluewritings · 3 months
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Last Summer Part 2, Felix Catton x Fem!reader
word count: 2K
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She would be staying with the Cattons for a month then return home a couple days before her flight to finish packing and give her tearful goodbyes. She paused the track on her iPod when she saw him pulling up to the station. Felix had insisted on coming himself to collect her despite her insistence that she was happy order a taxi.
The car came to a stop, she picked up the handle of her suitcase and walk down the steps of the station. Felix got out of his car, despite having seen each other only a week ago she couldn’t contain the rush of joy that seeing him brought. Her suitcase was momentarily discarded, she squealed as she flung her arms around his neck. His arms wound around her waist, he laughed as he lifted her a little. The wood and spice smell of his aftershave was intoxicating.
Once he had set her down she unwrapped her arms from his neck, grinning up at him. She glanced down noticing his arms were still around her waist, his palms resting on the small of her back. He also noticed this and immediately pulled away from her.
He cleared his throat. “Sorry about that.”
Heat spread through her stomach. “No it’s uh quite alright.”
Neither spoke for a moment, Felix clapped his hands together. “Right, shall we?”
“Yes, yeah, let’s go!”
She went to pick up her suitcase but he had beat her to it.
“I’ll be taking that.” He told her.
She scoffed. “I think I’m more than capable of carrying a suitcase.”
He shrugged. “Nope don’t care."
“You vex me.” She sighed, opening the car door and dropping into the seat.
“You love me really!” He sang, taking the suitcase and opening the car boot.
He was closer to the truth than he would ever know.
*
The car sped through the countryside, it was a bright and blazing day. The roof the convertible was down, the wind making her hair dance all around her. The upbeat tempo of music vibrated through the vehicle. She rested her arm against the window ledge, choosing to subtly gaze at Felix through her cat eye sunglasses. It was unfair how good he looked in his ray-ban sunglasses, her eyes traced the sharp curve of his jawline.
“I can feel you staring.” He said.
“I was very much not!” She replied defensively, looking away from and at the rode ahead.
“I’m not blind.” She couldn’t see him but she knew he was smirking.
“You flatter yourself too much.” She teased.
“I don’t think I flatter myself enough.” He replied, she playfully smacked his arm knowing he was joking. It may have seemed like a narcissistic thing to say but when it came down to it there wasn’t much about Felix that was self obsessed. He was not unaware of his own attractiveness but he didn’t carry himself in the way most vain men would.
“So how much further?” She asked.
“Another couple minutes I reckon.”
“Is there anything you haven’t told me that I should know? Like that your family is actually a coven of aristocratic vampires.”
“Just my mum!” He told her, before shaking his head. “No, there isn’t much that you don’t know already. My family can be somewhat traditional but pretty welcoming overall.”
“Will I be presented to your mum in the fashion of a debutante at court?”
He laughed. “Yes then you’ll be forced to dance a waltz with my dad.”
This made her laugh. “Sounds sexy.”
“Thank you for agreeing to come I really do appreciate it.” He told her taking her hand and giving it a warm squeeze.
She squeezed it back. “You’re welcome, I’m always here for you.”
“You too.” He said finally letting go of her hand.
Her pulse was far too fast and so was her spiralling mind. How was she going to manage a month with him?
*
They finally drove through the gates of Saltburn, as cliche as it sounded her mouth nearly fell open in sheer shock. It was the most elegant home she had ever seen. She knew he came from a lot of money but was still taken aback by the extravagance of it all. The car drive came to a stop inside a large garage full of a variety of old expensive cars.
 
Felix came round to her side opening the car door for her, in a gesture she thought only happened in old films.
 
“Thank you.” She told him with a smile.
 
He smiled back. “My mum would never forgive me if I didn’t.”
 
“I would have thought someone else parked your car for you?” She pointed out.
 
“Sometimes I like to do things for myself.” He explained matter of fact.
 
She supposed that was a fair answer, truthfully, she had no clue how the rules of anything of this worked. This was an extreme version wealth which she had never encountered before.
 
He opened the boot of the car, and she took out her suitcase pulling it behind her as they left the garage.
 
They reached the main foyer of the house, it had wide cavernous ceilings with various patterns carved into it. An older man in a suit dipped his head at them politely.
 
“(Name) this is Duncan the head Butler.”
 
Head Butler?! She thought. Was she in Pride and Prejudice?
 
Duncan gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Pleasure to meet you.”
 
“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well.” She replied trying to mimic his formal tone.
 
“I will have your luggage taken to your room.” Duncan told her.
 
(Name) waved her hands. “Oh no really it’s okay I can take it.”
 
Duncan’s face became more pinched. “No please I insist.”
Yeah she was not going to try argue with him.
 
“Well thank you then.” She said awkwardly.
 
She looked on helplessly as Duncan commanded another butler to take the suitcase.
 
Felix clearly sensing her discomfort pat her on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s go to the conservatory my mum will be dying to meet you.”
 *
 
There were three women in the conservatory, they were all sat on ornate chairs that faced opened glass doors. Two of the women were engrossed in a story the blonde woman was telling them. She stopped speaking when she noticed her friends had stopped paying attention to her and to instead the new arrivals. The blonde woman turned to see what they were staring at, her whole face lit up.
 
“My goodness darling you do know how to pick them don't you.” The blonde woman (who she had worked out was his mother) said to Felix.
 
She elegantly stood from her chair and practically sauntered toward them.
 
“This is my mum, Elspeth.” He told her.
 
“Lovely to meet y-“ Her words were cut off when Elspeth grabbed both sides of her face tilting it to one side then the other. (Name) winced at having her face manhandled.
 
“Mum stop that!” Her best friend scolded, gently swatting his Mother’s prying hands away.
 
Elspeth bought her hands to her chest. “I do apologise it’s just that I’m trying to figure out what it is about your beauty that draws my son in. I think it might be your eyes they’re rather lovely.”
 
It was a strange compliment, but still a compliment she supposed. “Oh thank you.” She said with a nervous smile. “However I’m pretty sure my physical appearance doesn’t really play a part in my friendship with Felix!”
 
Elspeth furrowed her brow. “Friendship?” She looked to her son. “Felix I thought she was your girlfriend.”
 
Girlfriend?!
 
He sighed. “Mum, I explicitly told you I had a friend coming to stay.”
 
“But the way you so lovingly spoke about her-“
 
“Anyway,” Felix said slightly too loud. “I am sure (Name) will want to get settled into her bedroom, we’ll see you for dinner.”
 
“But really it is wonderful to have you stay dear.” Elspeth told her kindly.
 
She found herself smiling genuinely. “Thank you.”
 
Felix led her out the conservatory with the same speed she led him out of the party.
*
Felix fell back onto the bed in the guest bedroom. He covered his face with both hands groaning into them. “Oh god I’m sorry, that was so embarrassing.”
 
She perched on the bed next to him. “I-I mean it wasn’t too bad. Your mum seems to at least like me!”
 
“Yeah I guess.” He removed his hands from his face. “But how could she imply that you and I-as if I am not capable of just having female friends.”
 
“You seemed to be pretty good friends with a lot of the girls at Oxford.” She snickered, pretending it didn’t hurt to know that.
 
He rolled his eyes. “How do you know?”
 
She flopped down next to him and playfully elbowed him. “I mean you weren’t exactly subtle in hiding it everyone kind of knew.”
 
 “Is that really how you see me?”
 
She turned to lie on her side. “No of course not-sorry I was only teasing.”
 
He didn’t look at her, instead picking at the buttons of his shirt. “I don’t like the idea that a bunch of people can just decide something about me, like they know me. I always made it clear I never wanted anything more from the people I was with. I’m not some heartless fuck boy. It makes me feel uncomfortable that some people might have that view of me...”
 
“Well I don’t.” She said softly. “No one’s perfect but you aren’t a bad guy, people know that even if they see your exploits differently to how you did.”
 
He now looked at her. “What do you think of me?”
 
Where should she start? “I think you’re just one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and that well-I can’t believe I’m existing in the same room as you.”
 
Maybe the last part was too much, but she couldn’t help it if she meant it. His lips parted at her words, he seemed at a momentary loss for words as he stared at her stunned. His full lips looked so inviting parted like that, it wouldn’t have taken her much to lean forward and find out. She chose to sit back up this was becoming too dangerous for her.
 
She cleared her throat. “Do with that what you will.”
 
He seemed to snap back to reality gradually sitting up next to her. “I’m sorry it took me a minute, it’s just- no one’s ever really said anything like that to me before.” He swallowed hard.
 
“Maybe it’s time that someone should.” She admitted.
He gave her a grateful smile that made everything inside her melt away. The moment passed when he stood up from the bed and offered out his hand to her which she gladly took as he pulled her to her feet. “Come on I’ll show you where the bathroom is.”
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ineffable-endearments · 4 months
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Hello, everyone!
In light of Neil Gaiman's comment that Amazon is close to officially renewing Good Omens but hasn't done so yet, I think those of us who can should start sending physical postcards to Amazon Studios!
The TL;DR of this post is that you can easily send a postcard from MyPostcard.com for about $3 (USD, I'm sure other currencies can vary). The Web site will print and mail it for you, so you don't have to do any printing or mailing yourself. The postage is included in the $3.
If you don't already have an image or card you want to use, you can just use one of mine above. Some of them are small because of small source images, but the site seems to resize them appropriately for the card. There are bigger versions in a Google Drive folder that you shouldn't have to be logged in to see.
You can send the postcards asking for a third season of Good Omens addressed to Jennifer Salke and Vernon Sanders, co-heads of Amazon Studios, at:
AMAZON STUDIOS 1620 26TH STREET, SUITE 4000N SANTA MONICA, CA 90404 USA
@fuckyeahgoodomens was the first to post this contact information for Amazon, so thank you, Ixi.
If it's something you don't mind, I would very deeply appreciate reblogs on this, since it works better if lots of people see it! No pressure if you don't want to, though.
And if you have Questions, click through below for my reasoning on all this.
Why should we send postcards to Amazon Studios?
We've made lots of noise online about renewal, and we've done a lot of streaming Good Omens. But I haven't seen much discussion of sending physical mail or, specifically, postcards.
Mail takes up space in the real world. It's slightly harder to ignore than email. It's way more attention-grabbing than posts on X or Tumblr or any other social media site. Because postage is required, physical mail can also appear more "committed."
Postcards specifically are great because of their convenience for the recipient. No one has to open them to read them. All it takes is a quick glance to see what we're asking for, and realistically, a quick glance is the best we can ask for in a corporate office. That's why I'm emphasizing postcards over regular letters (although really, anything helps).
Is sending postcards really going to motivate Amazon to make more Good Omens?
Postcard and letter-writing campaigns have helped get shows renewed in the past. Star Trek: The Original Series is a good example of a series that got another season after a letter-writing campaign. This article has more examples.
We don't actually know what's going on in Good Omens's case. Maybe postcards would make a difference; maybe they wouldn't. We can only make our most determined effort at making sure we're heard, and sending mail is part of that.
The cost of sending a postcard is too much for me.
I understand that sending a postcard will not be an option for many of us. This post isn't intended to try to push you into spending money you don't have. If you still want to find a way to participate, you can also send an email to [email protected] with your comments about wanting Good Omens 3. It's not physical mail, but it is still a personal message from a customer.
In fact, people who are sending postcards might want to follow up with an email, too.
Do we have to use your postcard designs?
No! Not necessarily! You can use anything.
As long as the message you write includes how much you want Good Omens 3, your postcard's image doesn't necessarily have to relate. You could send a souvenir postcard that says "Greetings from Los Angeles, CA / Tadfield, England / etc" from your local post office and just write your message on the back.
Technically, even a plain index card should be thick enough to mail as a postcard, at least by USPS standards. Just write your desire for Good Omens 3 on it, put a stamp and Amazon's address on it, and make sure it's at least 90mm x 127mm (3.5in x 5in).
Isn't Amazon Studios going to notice a bunch of postcards being mailed from the same Web site?
I'm sure they will. But the messages will each be unique, and again, they'll know each card represents a person who had to order the card and postage themselves.
Speaking of unique messages, what should I write?
One sentence is enough. Definitely indicate that you want Season 3 of Good Omens. If you want to add more, you could also write a sentence or two about how much you love the series so far.
Above all, be polite and straightforward! Remember that sarcasm and jokes often do not come across well in print, so it may be best to stick with simple statements that can be taken at face value.
What address should the cards go to?
The co-heads of Amazon Studios appear to be Vernon Sanders and Jennifer Salke; you can address them by name, although I'm guessing it will be someone else who does the reading/glancing.
Amazon Studios's address is:
AMAZON STUDIOS 1620 26TH STREET, SUITE 4000N SANTA MONICA, CA 90404 USA
Where did you get these images?
The images for the nightingale postcard and the Crowley postcard are screencaps from directedbypiper.
The Please Do Not Lick the Walls and Fell the Marvelous posters were downloads from the Amazon X-Ray feature.
The Nice and Accurate Prophecies postcard was adapted from cover art I did for A Nice and Interpretive Fanzine. Most of it is my own, although the mottled background is an extremely blurred version of a free stock texture from Pixabay, users chrisfiedler and/or humusak.
The bookshop postcard is a promotional image from Amazon used in a Den of Geek article.
396 notes · View notes
Facetime
Masterlist
Summary: You and Dean facetime whenever he goes on a hunt, but things go south when he and Sam are miles away
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader 
Rating: R for language, violence
Word Count: 3.5k
Warnings: language, blood, violence, torture, hostage situation, implied nudity, injured reader, mind control, starts off fluffy but gets real dark real quick, reader is a fan of Chris Evans
Author’s Note: This is loosely based on a dream I had and I know this gif is Dean looking at a coffee maker, but if you squint the coffee maker looks like a laptop :) Also, I don’t usually use capital letters (intentionally, but for no particular reason) but I thought I’d see how my writing looks with capital letters.
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“Dean I don’t think your mic’s working,” You furrowed your brows in frustration, trying to tell him you couldn’t hear a word he was saying.
“Yeah it was off, that makes sense,” He laughed lightly. You smiled, happy to hear his voice and see his face. Sam and Dean had been on this hunt for nearly four days at this point and you missed your boyfriend so much it was driving you crazy. 
You weren’t much of a hunter; you preferred to keep a safe distance and help with research, instead of picking up a machete and chopping up vampires. Dean knew you preferred to stay home and he was happy with you being out of the line of fire. He’d hate himself if he let you get hurt on a hunt, you were his everything.
It was hard, though. You lived in the bunker but you still didn’t spend as much time with Dean as you would’ve liked to. You wanted to be with him each night instead of falling asleep to either his music playing on vinyl or his voice over the phone if you were lucky enough to be in the same time zone. Most of the time you’d go days without hearing his voice. 
That was until Sam had the brilliant (but blatantly obvious, you couldn’t believe you hadn’t come up with it) idea of you and Dean facetiming while doing research for the case; as opposed to just texting each other important details. 
“So, what’re you hunting?” You asked. Your laptop was set up next to your phone which is what you were calling Dean from. You were seated in the library and eager to help however you could. 
“Sam’s thinking a god,” Dean sighed. “He’s out getting the food.”
“And you’re doing the research?” You laughed. 
“Well, I wanted to talk with you, and see that beautiful face of yours,” He smirked. “Sammy can do the actual research when he gets back, should be soon.”
“I miss you,” You smiled, he did the same.
“I miss you, too, hun. How’re you doing? Cas is gonna get back home tomorrow morning so you won’t have the whole bunker to yourself for much longer.”
“It’s really lonely,” You laughed wryly. “As an introvert, I swore never to say this, but I kinda wish more people lived here.”
“Yeah, I know it’s... it’s not ideal,” He gave you a sympathetic look. “Y’know there’s a library in town you could go to if you don’t wanna be alone.”
“Yeah, I think I’m gonna head over there. I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight, I’m really starting to go stir-crazy!” 
“Wanna stay on the phone while you drive over there?” Dean asked hopefully.
“Of course!” You emphasized. “I’m so happy I finally get to talk to you for the first time today! I’m just gonna change into something more presentable real quick.”
“It’s 2pm on a Tuesday and you’re going to a public library; who are you thinking you might run into?” He teased lightly.
“Hey if I go not looking my best and Chris Evans just happens to be there I would kick myself!” You replied honestly. “Gimme a second.” You put the phone on your dresser and faced it away from where you would be changing.
“Y/n, I’ve seen you naked, you can change in front of me!” He sighed dramatically when you didn’t respond right away. “C’mon, I miss you!”
“You only get to see these boobs when you hurry up, finish that case, and get your ass back here!” You called out to him as you got dressed.
“That’s no fair,” Dean whined. You finished getting dressed pretty quickly and grabbed your phone off your dresser and your purse off your desk before you left the room.
“Okay I’m heading out now,” You smiled at your phone as you walked up to the entrance of the bunker.
“Which car are you taking?” Dean asked. 
“Mine; it’s parked outside, not in the garage. why?”
“Just wanna know you’ll be safe getting there. A lot of the cars in the garage tend to break down at random,” He replied. You hopped into your car and set your phone on the stand that was attached to the front window. 
“Ah, shit,” You winced suddenly, your hands now pressed against your temples. “De, something’s wrong-” You croaked out. Your head felt like it was going to explode as your vision began getting blurry. 
“Y/n? Y/n, talk to me! What’s happening,” Dean exclaimed, his voice ripe with panic. 
The pounding in your head suddenly stopped as your vision went black and you passed out. 
Your head was throbbing as you woke up. You tried bringing your hands to your head but then realized you were tied to a chair. You then also realized you were wearing nothing but a bra and your boy-short panties. 
“What the fuck,” You mumbled to yourself. You tightened your fists and pulled against the restraints.
“It’s no use, y/n,” A voice behind you announced. “You’re not going anywhere anytime soon. who knows, you might even die here.”
**
“Y/n? Y/n!” Dean exclaimed. He was completely panicking as he watched your car door open and someone pull you out of the driver’s seat. 
“Dean Winchester!” The man picked up the cell phone and showed Dean his face; complete with hideous black eyes. “Looks like I now have the thing you care about most,” The demon laughed. 
“You son of a bitch,” Dean screamed. “You hurt her and I swear I will-”
“What? What’re you gonna do Dean? Kill me? You don’t know where I’m taking her and I’m dumping this meat suit before you get the chance to figure out this guy’s name. No, you can’t do anything, Dean. You are completely and utterly powerless. I have the bitch you seem to love so much, and there’s nothing you can do.”
“What do you want?” Dean seethed through gritted teeth. He slammed his fist on the table next to him. “What do you fucking want?”
“To watch you suffer,” The demon smirked then hung up.
“Son of a bitch!” Dean screamed. He grabbed the chair he was sitting on and threw it to the side in frustration.
“Dean, what the hell?” Sam exclaimed. He had walked in right as the chair hit the wall. “I take a little too long getting the burgers and you start breaking the furniture?” He laughed lightly. 
“Y/n,” Dean shouted. “A demon has y/n!”
“What the fuck? How? When?” Sam’s eyes widened.
“Just now, we- we were facetiming and she was gonna go to the library- and she- it just took her Sam- I-” Tears welled in Dean's eyes as he looked at his younger brother with desperation. 
**
“What do you want from me?” You asked the demon. He was now kneeling in front of you as he toyed with your hair. 
“Nothing, sweetheart,” He smiled wickedly. “You see, you are very important to Dean Winchester; I hate Dean Winchester. I want him to suffer. Having you locked up in here is the easiest way to torture him. He’ll find you eventually, I’m sure, but you’ll be so broken and beaten you won’t ever be the same. You’ll never be his cheerful y/n again. You’ll be worn down by what I'm going to do to you, you’re not going to want to be anywhere near him. And that will break his heart beyond repair - that will be the ultimate torture. I'll be known as the demon who destroyed Dean Winchester’s will to live.”
“You’re wrong,” You whispered. “Dean cares about me, sure, but losing me isn’t gonna break him, you idiot! He'll be over me within a few months then he will hunt you down and tear you limb from limb.”
“Maybe,” The demon shrugged. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see how long it takes him to get over you.” He pulled a knife out of his back pocket and plunged it into your thigh. You screamed in pain as tears streamed down your face. You looked down at the blood now dripping down your thigh then looked back up.
“D-Dean?” You whispered. “Wh-What’s going on?” Your head was spinning as you tried to focus on the man in front of you. “Dean! Dean, you found me?”
“Yeah, hun, it’s me,” The demon held your face with his hands. 
“H-Help me out of here,” You quivered, confused as to why Dean was so calm. He shook his head, smiled, then gripped the knife and twisted it. “Y-You’re not Dean!”
“Of course I am, y/n! And I'm so happy I finally get to show you how I really feel about you,” He smiled. He took the knife out and pressed it against your left breast. “You know I never really cared much about you, you’re just an easy lay.”
“You’re not Dean,” You closed your eyes tightly. “Dean loves me.”
“Awe, that’s really sweet y/n, but of course I'm Dean! And I wouldn’t say I love you, more like I love having my own pathetic fucktoy handy at all times,” He patted your cheek. “I mean, let’s face it; all we do when I'm not hunting is have sex! Why else would I want you living with me?”
“That’s- That’s not true!” You whispered, more to yourself than to the monster posing as the love of your life. “We have movie nights, we bake pie, we have dinner together, we-”
“Do we?” He touched your temple with two fingers. “Dean never did any of that with you.”
“Y-You never did any of that with me,” You mumbled.
**
“Days, Sam! It's been days!” Dean shouted. “Y/n is still with that fucking demon!”
“I know it’s been days, Dean but you need to sleep. Just four hours; recharge and come back with a clear head.”
“Do you think y/n is able to sleep? Or have a second of peace or quiet! She is being tortured by a demon, because of me!”
“Cas will be back with some information in a few hours, until then you should sleep,” Sam suggested. “Look, we’ve done all we can for right now, you’re no use to y/n if you’re too tired to function!”
Before Dean could protest, his phone rang and he answered; “Hello?”
“Dean Winchester,” the voice replied.
“Yes? Who is this?”
“I’m the demon that’s got y/n,” He replied. Dean could hear the smirk in his voice.
“I swear to God I will find you and-”
“And you’ll kill me, blah, blah, blah; you’ve said that before. I'm just calling to let you know you can have her back. I'll text you the address.” The demon hung up.
“What-” Dean brought his phone down, confused. “That was the demon, he said he’s texting me the address where y/n is,” He told Sam.
“What? That makes no sense?”
“Yeah, but he wasn’t lying,” Dean held up his phone and showed Sam the text. 
“It’s definitely a trap, right?”
“Doesn't matter, let's go; we can meet Cas there.”
“Dean, that's at least a six-hour drive; let me drive so you can sleep,” Sam offered. Dean was ridiculously tired and he knew he wasn’t at his full strength so he decided to take a nap on the way.
**
“Y/n! Oh my god!” Dean exclaimed when he walked into the dark warehouse and saw you tied to the chair.
“Sam?” You breathed out. “Cas?” You smiled slightly, barely lifting your head. 
“Hey- Hey hun,” Dean crouched down and held your face.
“What, now you’re all sweet?” You scoffed, then looked past him and up at his younger brother. “Sam, please help me! Dean, he- he did this to me.”
“What? No! No, no, I would never! I love you," Dean stuttered, not taking his eyes off you. He untied your right hand and you punched the side of his head, which caused him to fall to the side. 
“Cas! Please! You guys have to believe me!”
“It's okay, you’re safe now,” Cas came up to you. He put two fingers on your forehead and healed you. “We’re gonna take you home, okay?”
“Okay,” You replied as the angel untied you. Sam looked around for your clothes and, surprisingly, found them off to the side and folded neatly. Cas helped you up as Sam handed you your jeans and shirt, and you happily put them on. Dean was standing up at this point, but he just stood there; silent tears falling as he looked at you. 
“Y/n- Hun, please- please tell me you know this wasn’t me!” He whispered, you looked over at him. “Please you- you know it was a demon!”
“Oh and where is this demon now, Dean?” You asked flatly, Dean stayed silent. “You know, I fucking trusted you!” Tears escaped your eyes and you brushed them away quickly. You continued, gritting your teeth in anger, “I hate you.” 
“Let’s get you home,” Sam interrupted, he knew Dean didn’t do this and he needed to figure out how to make you know too. You nodded and followed Castiel out the door, Sam followed you and, after a moment, Dean did too.
Cas opened the back door for you while Sam opened the passenger door. 
“Sam, can you drive?” You asked him quietly. “Please? I know you don’t believe me about Dean, but I don't trust him; please don’t let him drive.”
“Sweetheart, I-” Dean started, overhearing what you said to Sam.
“Don’t you dare call me that,” You hissed and pointed your finger at him with anger. You turned back to Sam, “If it was up to me, I’d say cuff him; but at least don’t let him be the fucking driver!” With that, you hopped in the back seat, Cas doing the same after you.
Dean took the demon cuffs out of his back pocket and handed them to Sam before holding his hands behind him.
“Seriously?” Sam scoffed.
“I want her to feel safe,” Dean replied. “Well, as safe as she can feel while I'm still in proximity.” Sam nodded and cuffed his older brother before they both got into the car; Sam in the driver’s seat.
**
“You really don’t believe me?” You practically screamed. You were all back at the bunker and Sam was refusing to lock Dean up in the dungeon.
“It's not that I don’t believe you-”
“Then do something!”
“Sam, Dean, can I talk to you?” Cas asked and the three went around the corner, you huffed to yourself and sat at the war room table. “There’s something really wrong with y/n.”
“Yeah, Cas, we can tell,” Dean replied.
“No, I mean, really wrong! When I healed her at the warehouse, I could feel something pushing back.”
“What do you think that means?” Sam asked.
“I think we need to call Crowley. He’s had a soft spot for y/n for a while now, maybe he’ll know what’s wrong.”
“Yeah, great! Let another demon get their hands on her,” Dean scoffed sarcastically.
“Crowley isn’t just ‘another demon’ Dean; he might be able to reverse whatever’s happened here!” Castiel retorted. 
“Fine, fine we’ll give him a call,” Dean sighed. The three of them walked back around the corner but you weren’t sitting at the table anymore. “Y/n?” Dean called out, beginning to panic.
Sam rushed outside while Dean checked your bedroom and Cas checked the garage.
“Y/n, what’re you doing?” Dean asked. You frantically threw clothes into your duffle and didn’t answer him. “Sweet- Uh, sorry- y/n please,” Dean stumbled over his words.
“I’m leaving Dean, and I never want to see you again!” You exclaimed and tried to brush past him. He gently gripped your forearm to pull you back and your demeanor changed. “Please, please don’t hurt me,” You whispered; tears welled in your eyes as Dean’s widened. He let go of you and put his hands up, backing away.
“No, no I- I’m not going to hurt you, y/n, I wanna help you,” He said calmly. “We all do. Please, don’t go.”
“Why are you being so sweet now, I don’t understand,” You let the tears fall. “Is it just cause of Sam and Cas? Is that it? You’d like to take out your knife and get back to work but you don’t want your baby brother and your best friend to see you torturing me?”
“I- I don’t know what to say, y/n,” He replied, also letting tears fall. “I swear that was not me!”
“Right, right it was a demon,” You scoffed. “Seriously, Dean? The least you could do is own up to what you did, for fuck’s sake! But I guess I should’ve seen this coming, huh?”
“What’re you talking about?”
“You only ever cared about my body, Dean! Was just a matter of time before you got bored and used what Alastair taught you!”
“What? Y/n we’ve known each other for ten years, we’ve only been dating the last two! We didn’t even sleep together the first four months because we wanted to take it slow; do you not remember any of this?”
“Does this actually work on people?” You laughed. “You fake a few tears, look at them with lost puppy eyes, and try to make them believe such ridiculous lies?”
“Y/n!” Castiel called out from behind you. He had checked the garage and when he didn’t see you there he decided to check the kitchen and then head over to your bedroom.
“Castiel, please get me out of here!” You hurried to his side. “Dean won’t let me leave!”
“No- I-” Dean tried to protest but then just shook his head in defeat, not wanting to make things worse.
“We have a working theory going about what happened,” Cas lied to you. “We think Dean may have been possessed before, and the demon that possessed him may still be looking for you. You should stay here in the bunker where it’s safe, okay?”
“Okay, Cas, I trust you,” You clung to his arm, still terrified of Dean. 
“Dean, why don’t you get Sam and meet me in the dungeon in a few minutes,” Cas asked him. “Y/n, you can stay in your room until we know more.”
**
It took Crowley a couple of days to figure out what the demon did but once he did, he called Dean and was summoned to the bunker.
“It’s a hex bag,” He said before his trademark, “Hello, boys.”
“A hex bag? Where?” Sam asked. “She’s changed clothes, we’re nowhere near the warehouse-”
“According to Frank-” 
“Frank? The demon’s name is Frank?” Dean scoffed.
“Yes,” Crowley rolled his eyes. “Anyway, Frank said he carved it into her thigh.”
“Good Lord,” Sam muttered. 
“How do we get it out?” Dean asked Crowley. “We can’t just cut back into her!”
“That’s exactly what we’re going to do,” Crowley replied.
“No! She’s already terrified we can’t-”
“I can put her to sleep,” Castiel suggested. “She shouldn’t feel a thing.”
“Well, let’s get this over with,” Crowley walked out of the dungeon and over to your room.
“What’s he doing here?” You glared at Dean when the four men entered your bedroom. You had been seated on your couch reading when Crowley knocked and opened the door.
“Dean, maybe you should wait outside,” Sam told him quietly. Dean nodded slightly and backed out of the room.
**
“She’s asking for you,” Sam smiled a little, walking into the library to find Dean downing another glass of whiskey.
“Seriously!? She wants to see me?” He practically jumped out of the chair and then hurried to your room. He took a deep breath and opened your door.
You were at the edge of your bed with one knee tucked against you. When Dean entered, you looked at him with tear-stained eyes and let a quiet sob leave your lips. 
“I’m so sorry,” You whispered. “De, I’m so, so sorry!”
“No, no, no it’s- none of this is your fault,” He hurried to your side but hesitated to wrap his arms around you. “Can I… Can I hug you? Please?”
“Of course,” You replied and wrapped your arms around him when he held you. “I love you so much, Dean, I’m so sorry I believed the demon.”
“It’s not your fault, it was a hex bag,” He kissed the crown of your head. “You didn’t have a choice.”
“I know, but I should’ve been able to snap out of it!” You protested. “I mean, these hands,” You took his left hand and held it, kissing his palm gently. “I love these hands, how could I have believed that they, that you hurt me?” You kissed his hand again then looked up at him. “I’m sorry, for what I said.”
“It’s okay,” He kissed your forehead. “I’m just glad you’re okay, that you’re back.” The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while before Dean asked you, “How are you feeling?”
“Physically? Fine. Emotionally? Fucking terrible,” You replied, squeezing Dean tighter. “I keep getting these like flashbacks about what the demon did, and in a lot of the memories the demon still looks like you.”
“I’m sorry sweetheart, that sounds awful!”
“Yeah,” You sighed. “I'll be okay though, I’ve got you.”
567 notes · View notes
Text
If you are a Sam or Jared fan don’t read this. The beginning of season 7 (im on ep 8) is extremely hard to watch. I’ve read people saying that when Cas dies Dean gets depressed and suicidal but I wasn’t prepared for how bad it gets. I thought he just went into certain situations before thinking about it or something but the fact he’s drinking way more then he usually does, he had to give himself a pep talk to go home with a girl (clearly he didn’t want to do it he just thought it’s what he does so he had to do it but I’m glad he didn’t since he’s not in a good place) haveing nightmares and not reacting to certain things the way he normally would is bad enough but then telling Bobby that if he is dead he was going to put him and Sam in the car and drive into the water (can’t remember his exact words and considering I bawled when I heard it I’m not going back to find out his exact words) but then when he seen that Bobby was alive he wasn’t even overly happy he just said “oh you’re alive” and then he was just going to let the god guy kill him without even trying to help Sam come up with a way to stop him is just heartbreaking. They try to say it’s a combination of Cas dying, Sam’s hallucinations and killing misses but he has done stuff behind Sams back before so killing her wouldn’t cause that much guilt on him. He has dealt with Sam not haveing a soul which he said just creeped him out and Sam being addicted to demon blood and that didn’t effect him so I don’t think he’d get that depressed over Sam hallucinating the only new thing is Cas being dead. After the end of season 6 it makes a lot of sense for him to act that way now.
I hate that the show makes Dean seem like the asshole self centred one but it’s Sam who’s those things. Dean is always looking out for Sam (and now Cas), protecting Sam and now even though he’s going through so much he’s still worried about Sam and asking him how he’s doing. Sam is watching Dean go through one of the hardest times in his life and yet the only time so far he asks Dean how he is it’s about the friend of his Dean killed. Seriously? He was standing right next to Dean when Cas trench coat washed up and yet Sam never said a thing about the whole thing to Dean. I actually really hate Sam for this.
Now that I know a bit more about season 7 then I originally did (Misha being fired) I now see the scene of Cas trench coat a bit differently and in fact I see a bunch of scenes a bit differently. I now see that first scene as more the actors real feelings. Dean is so upset because Jensen is upset of Misha not going to be around anymore and Sam basically not caring (he literally just stood there and didn’t have any reaction to what happened) because Jared probably wasn’t overly upset about Misha. I’m not saying they’re not friends but they are definitely not as close as Misha and Jensen and he was probably happy that the spotlight would be back on him again instead of Destiel. I think this is also shown in the other eps. I understand Sam is going through his own stuff but if Cas and him were friends I would think he would at least be sad that Cas is dead.
84 notes · View notes
Text
Dean
6:54 pm
hey, were you able to check into the motel room i booked for you? we're on our way now. we’re coming to take you home
6:54 pm
I’M coming to take you home
Cas
6:59 pm
I’m at the motel right now.
7:01 pm
I don't understand. Is Sam with you or not?
Dean
7:03 pm
he’s here. that was just my crappy way of trying to say that i want you back home again with me
7:04 pm
me, specifically. i know i've sucked at telling you just how much i appreciate you, and i want to fix that
Cas
7:04 pm
That means a lot to me, Dean.
7:05 pm
Please don't text and drive. We’ll talk later.
Dean
7:05 pm
it’s cool, sam is driving
Cas
7:06 pm
Are you okay?
Dean
7:08 pm
better than i've been in a long time. why?
Cas
7:10 pm
Sam is driving. Do I really have to explain?
Dean
7:13 pm
i wanted to talk to you
Cas
7:15 pm
Is there anything specific you need to discuss? Should I call you?
Dean
7:22 pm
nah, i'd embarrass myself in front of sam. i just need to convince myself that you’re really back
7:24 pm
had too many dreams where you were back again only to wake up and find that you were still gone. and lucifer tricked me into thinking he was you
7:25 pm
you ARE you, right?
Cas
7:27 pm
I’m me, Dean.
Dean
7:30 pm
it's just hard to believe the spell actually worked. i thought there was no hope after Jack said he couldn't bring you back
7:32 pm
tell me something only you would know? i need to know i'm not getting tricked again. i don't think i could take it
7:33 pm
tell me what you said to me before the empty took you
Cas
7:35 pm
You're certain you want me to?
Dean
7:38 pm
i'm sure, cas
Cas
7:40 pm
I love you.
Dean
7:44 pm
like a friend?
Cas
7:46 pm
That, too. But I already had your friendship. Telling you I loved you like a friend wouldn’t have made the Empty come for me.
Dean
7:55 pm
then how do you love me, cas?
Cas
7:58 pm
Dean, you must know already. Please understand that I don’t want to cross your boundaries. I would rather remain your friend than have you push me away.
Dean
7:58 pm
i wouldn’t. i won’t
8:00 pm
i know i have in the past, but i’ve never regretted anything more in my life. please, i want to hear it if that’s okay
Cas
8:09 pm
Very well. I love you more than I have ever loved anything else in all of Creation. I have forsaken Heaven for you and died for you. I’m in love with you, Dean, and my love for you will continue for all of eternity, long after Earth and everything on it has perished.
8:17 pm
Dean?
8:21 pm
I have crossed a boundary. My apologies.
Dean
8:23 pm
shit. sorry. i thought i was prepared after last time
8:24 pm
no boundaries crossed, but you did make me bawl my eyes out again
8:24 pm
sam's all worried now
Cas
8:25 pm
I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t know my words would do that.
8:25 pm
What do you mean by 'again'?
Dean
8:27 pm
what do you think happens when your best friend tells you he loves you and then dies in front of you?
8:27 pm
not just a best friend, actually
Cas
8:29 pm
I know, Dean, and I am honored you consider me family.
Dean
8:30 pm
not quite. not only
8:31 pm
i should have told you, cas. you were never JUST family
8:32 pm
hang on, i'm realizing i need to tell sam something that’s kind of overdue by now. i guess he deserves to hear it after all these years. i’ll tell you after i’ve told him
Cas
8:33 pm
Very well. I’ll wait.
Dean
8:54 pm
okay well sam almost drove us into a ditch when i told him. and then he had to pull over because he turned into a giant blubbery mess
8:55 pm
if he ever says i did too, don’t listen to him
Cas
8:56 pm
Dean, if you are trying to build suspense, you have managed it.
Dean
9:00 pm
do you really not have any clue at all what i’m about to say to you?
Cas
9:02 pm
I would be lying if I said I haven’t spent the last 30 minutes imagining possibilities. But I would rather not assume. I don’t want to be wrong.
Dean
9:04 pm
okay. well, here goes
9:06 pm
i’m bi
9:06 pm
bisexual
9:10 pm
cas?
Cas
9:11 pm
I'm happy you trust me enough to tell me. Thank you.
9:12 pm
I’m just trying to process.
9:13 pm
Is there a specific reason you have chosen to say this now?
Dean
9:16 pm
actually, yeah. there’s something else i need to say to you, but i thought we could have that talk when i get there. i want to do it face to face
9:17 pm
maybe i'm getting ahead of myself here, but i’ve booked a single room for sam
9:22 pm
cas? processing again?
Cas
9:22 pm
Yes.
9:23 pm
My room does have a king-sized bed.
Dean
9:24 pm
i know
9:25 pm
i don't want to make you uncomfortable. i'll share sam’s room if you want
Cas
9:26 pm
Please don't.
9:26 pm
How soon can you be here?
Dean
9:27 pm
two more hours, if i switch places with granny behind the wheel here.
Cas
9:29 pm
I may be billions of years old, but right at this moment two hours feels like an eternity.
9:29 pm
I’ll be waiting for you, Dean.
Dean
9:30 pm
scratch that, i’ll make it in less than two hours
Cas
9:31 pm
Please don't compromise your safety.
Dean
9:32 pm
don't worry. i’ve got something worth staying alive for
Cas
9:32 pm
Dean. I love you.
Dean
9:33 pm
i know. be there as soon as i can. XOXO
Cas
9:36 pm
I had to google that. An emoji would have been more efficient. 💕
9:38 pm
I assume you’re driving. See you soon.
10:25 pm
Time has never passed so slowly before. I know that for a fact, since I have existed since the beginning of it.
10:42 pm
There’s a Dr. Sexy rerun on right now.
10:49 pm
The thing you need to tell me better not be that you have a crush on Dr. Sexy.
11:04 pm
You'll be here soon, unless something has happened.
11:06 pm
I hope nothing has happened.
Dean
11:09 pm
Dean told me to tell you to stop being ridiculous. But he’s smiling like a fool, so I think he’s secretly charmed by your rambling. -Sam
11:10 pm
He didn’t tell me to say that last part. He did tell me to say we’ll be there in ten. -Sam
Cas
11:11 pm
I will hold him to it.
11:20 pm
You’re not here yet.
Dean
11:20 pm
oh yeah? open the door
Cas
03:07 am
Your phone is on silent, so I know this text won’t wake you. I just want you to know this: I was wrong about my moment of true happiness. Lying here in bed with you, knowing that you love me back – this is the happiest I have ever been.
Dean
08:12 am
sappy angel
08:13 am
how about if i asked you to marry me? where'd that place you on the happiness scale?
Cas
08:13 am
Dean. Are you serious? Is this a proposal?
08:14
You better not be proposing to me via a text message from a motel bathroom.
Dean
08:15 am
relax, i wouldn't propose without going down on one of my creaky old-man knees. hang on, i'm coming out as soon as i've brushed my teeth
Cas
08:15 am
Dean, what are you saying?
08:17
You are the most frustrating man on Earth.
Dean
08:17 am
and yet somehow you love me
Dean
09:31 am
sammy, time to to start writing a best man speech
Sam
09:34 am
I know. My room is next to yours.
09:36 am
Out of the many sex noises I've heard from you over the years, "I can't wait to marry you" is the most wholesome.
09:37
Not that I need to hear it ever again.
Dean
09:40 am
bitch
Sam
09:40 am
Jerk.
09:41 am
Seriously, though. I'm happy for you both. And I'd be honored to be your best man.
Dean
09:42 am
thanks. love you, but don't let it get to your head. you're not the first person i've said that to today
Sam
09:44 am
Yeah, yeah. Love you too. Tell Cas congrats for me. When do you guys want to head back? Check-out is at 11.
09:57 am
Seriously? Again?? These walls are paper-thin, dude.
10:03
I'm never getting a room next to you guys again.
981 notes · View notes
fanfictionalraven · 14 days
Text
Marry Me
Title: Marry Me
Song Inspiration: Marry Me by Thomas Rhett
Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Jody Mills, Original Characters
Word Count: 2, 258
Warnings: Angst
Author's Note: This story was originally posted by myself under the account Winchestersgirl92. It was published November, 2017.
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Dean’s hands tremble as he fumbles to get his tie put on correctly. It was the third time he was attempting to tie it and he was beyond frustrated. It’s not like this was his first time tying the damned thing. He was in his fed suit, the same suit he’d worn dozens if not hundreds of times before, but suddenly it felt too tight. Almost like it was trying to strangle him.
A gentle rapping at his bedroom door pulls him from his claustrophobic thoughts. It opens and Jody’s head, her hand covering her eyes, pops in through the crack.
“Are you about ready? We’re gonna be late,” she tells him. He lets out a nervous laugh.
“I’m decent, Jody. Just can’t get this tie,” he says. Her hand drops from her eyes and she smiles at him as she walks over. Taking the two ends of the tie in her hands, she quickly starts to work on it.
“Can’t tie a tie?” She asks, quirking her eyebrow at him. He shakes his head quickly.
“Course I can. Just –,” he stops, unsure of what explanation to give her. She nods her head slightly as she looks back at her hands.
“Nervous?” She asks. He scoffs a laugh.
“Why would I be nervous?” He asks her. She smiles gently and pats his shoulders once she’s finished with the tie.
“Oh, I don’t know. It’s a big day after all,” she says. Dean nods slightly, a faraway look in his eyes. He blinks and refocuses on Jody’s face.
“Well, let’s go. Can’t be late,” he says.
They go down to the garage together and find Sam and Cas both waiting by the car. The four pile in, Dean driving, naturally, and head out on the road. It’s a short drive from the Bunker to the old farm Y/N’s family had rented for the afternoon. Dean parks amongst the other vehicles. The other three get out of the car as Dean stares at the white balloons and streamers marking the path to where the ceremony would be held.
“You want to get married on a farm?” Dean asks, staring at Y/N. The two are sitting on the trunk of Impala, passing a bottle of whiskey back and forth. Y/N takes the bottle and shrugs before taking a quick drink. She hands it back to Dean and wipes at her mouth.
“It’ll be cheaper. Family friend willing to rent theirs out to us when the time comes,” she says. Dean nods, taking a long drink from the bottle. He sets it down on the trunk behind them and shakes his head.
“I can’t believe you’ve actually planned out your wedding,” he says. Y/N rolls her eyes and Dean can’t help but smile. He loves teasing her, just to get a reaction. “You don’t even have a boyfriend.”
“So? I know I’m gonna get married one day. Might as well be prepared,” she tells him. He laughs now and shakes his head.
“Aren’t you a little girl scout,” he teases. She narrows her eyes at him.
“That’s the boy scouts actually,” she says, pushing off the trunk. Dean jumps down quickly, catching her elbow.
“Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. You know I’m just messing with you,” he says, turning her to face him. She crosses her arms over her chest as Dean’s hands come to rest on her waist. “I, personally, think it’s adorable that you’ve planned out a wedding with an imaginary groom.” She pushes away from him quickly and starts walking down the road. Dean laughs as he watches her. “Where do you think you’re going?” He asks.
“As far away from you as possible,” she calls back to him. He rolls his eyes and leans back against the car, crossing his arms. He glances up at the cloud darkened sky.
“Storm’s moving in,” he says. Her shoulders go up and down.
“I don’t care!!” She shouts to him. She’s several yards away at this point, still marching on.
“Y/N, come on. Don’t make me come get you,” he threatens. She stops dead in her tracks and turns slowly, looking back at him.
“You wouldn’t dare,” she challenges. He can’t help the smirk that spreads across his face. He does love a challenge, especially from her. He slides his leather jacket off and tosses it onto the trunk.
“Last chance,” he calls to her. She crosses her arms, feet planted firmly on the ground. He lets out one short laugh and shakes his head. “You asked for it.”
Thunder claps and lightning streaks across the sky as Dean breaks into a run. Y/N’s eyes widen and she turns on her heels, running away from him. She knows it’s futile. His legs are longer than hers so even if she was a little faster, he could catch her. His arms wrap around her waist just a moment later, knocking her off balance. The two tumble to the ground in a fit of laughter. Y/N lands on her back and lays her arms above her head, trying to catch her breath. Dean quickly moves to hover over her, pinning her hips to the ground.
“Told ya I’d get you,” he says, smiling down at her. She rolls her eyes and pushes at him.
“Get off me,” she says. He catches her hands and pins them to the ground above her head. The look on her face changes in an instant.
In the blink of an eye, Y/N shifts from the little girl he’d always known to the woman he was rarely given the opportunity to see. He’d see her sometimes in a bar when she’d had a little too much and some undeserving guy was hitting on her. He’d see her when they were on a case and a suspect needed some special persuasion to give them the information they needed. He’d see her on the very rare occasion that he’d move in a little too close. Just like now.
Her long eyelashes flutter over her y/e/c eyes that had suddenly grown darker. Her beautiful, pink lips are slightly parted, still trying to catch her breath. Her tongue darts out quickly to wet them and Dean nearly groans. He leans in a little closer and watches her eyes close, waiting. The whiskey on her breath teases him, enticing him to close to distance. His nose bumps against hers and his own eyes close.
Dean jumps at the sharp tapping on the driver side window. He looks over and his brother is standing there, waiting for him. Dean lets out a sigh and gets out of the car now too. Jody and Cas are already making their way to seating area. Sam is watching his brother closely.
“You good?” He asks. Dean looks at him and rolls his eyes.
“Of course, I’m good. Go on. I’m right behind you,” he tells him. Sam nods and turns, following after the others. Dean runs a hand over his face then glances around. Quickly, he pulls a metal flask from his inside jacket pocket. He takes a long drawl from it before returning it its hiding place. “Showtime,” he mumbles to himself.
He makes his way up the balloon marked path and finds where everyone is gathered. There are about 50 chairs set up, divided by an aisle. A simply decorated arch waits at the front, Y/N’s grandfather standing beneath it with a Bible in his hands.
“Dean,” Sam’s voice calls. Dean blinks and looks around. Sam is waving to him from a row of seats about midway on the left. His heart sinks as he makes his way to the chair between Jody and Sam.
For a moment, he’d almost had himself convinced that he had actually kissed her on that stormy afternoon not long ago. He almost believes that he was the one who had taken her out every weekend for six months before finally giving her the ring she’d always wanted. He’d been lost in a fantasy of her in a white dress making her way down the aisle to him. But as he takes his seat, reality washes over him.
He hadn’t kissed her. The rain had come suddenly and drawn him away from her beckoning lips. He hadn’t taken her out. She’d met Derek two days later and Dean knew right away he was already too late. She’d be walking down the aisle in a matter of minutes to Derek, her future husband.
Music begins to play from somewhere nearby and Derek takes his place next to Y/N’s grandfather. Her sister, the maid of honor, comes down the aisle, followed shortly thereafter by the flower girl and ring bearer, Y/N’s niece and nephew. The music changes, the traditional wedding march starting, and everyone stands. Dean forces himself to his feet before looking over his shoulder. The sight he’s met with takes his breath away.
Y/N’s standing at the end of the aisle, her arm looped through her father’s, looking positively glorious, as if she wasn’t already the most beautiful woman Dean had ever seen. Her make-up was light and natural, accentuating her eyes and lips, her best features in Dean’s opinion. A halo of flowers sits a top her head making her look like an angel. Dean’s eyes roam over her body as she walks down the aisle. The dress was simple, a perfect mix of classy and sexy Dean didn’t even know was possible. He shakes his head, forcing away the thoughts of slowly taking it off of her.
Her grandfather tells everyone to be seated once they reach the other end of the aisle. Dean falls into his seat, earning a concerned glance from his brother. Dean stares at the back of the person in front of him as her grandfather begins to speak.
“Who gives this woman today?” He asks in the traditional manner.
“Her mother and I,” her father says before placing a kiss to her cheek. Dean squeezes his eyes closed. And me. He thinks to himself. A hand comes over his quickly. He opens his eyes and finds his hands balled into fists on his thighs. Jody has one of hers over his and squeezes it gently. The ceremony continues and Dean does his best to block it out until one phrase falls on his ears, his head shooting up quickly.
“If anyone has any reason these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace,” Y/N’s grandfather announces, eyes roaming the crowd.
It was a statement made out of tradition, no one ever really expected anyone to object. Dean can feel three sets of eyes on him; Sam, Jody, and Cas all expecting him to speak. Time seems to stop. The thought had surprisingly never crossed his mind. He could stand up right now and tell Y/N exactly how he feels. Tell her that he loves her and wants her to marry him instead of Derek.
Jody’s hand squeezes his again and time resumes. His fist she’s holding opens and clasps her hand tight instead. Vows and rings are exchanged. A kiss that makes Dean’s eyes sting with tears and it’s all over. Everyone stands again and claps as Y/N’s grandfather introduces Mr. and Mrs. Derek Cypress. Dean’s still clinging to Jody’s hand as they stand in line to congratulate the happy couple. As they move closer, she pulls her hand away. Y/N looks over and breaks into a wide smile.
“You made it!!” She exclaims before throwing her arms around Dean. He lets out a laugh and returns the embrace.
“Always underestimating me,” he tells her. They stay that way, neither breaking away from each other, until a hand presses against Dean’s back. “Congrats, Sweetheart,” he whispers, kissing her cheek quickly. She looks up at him as he pulls away from her slowly.
“Are you staying for the reception?” She asks, her eyes pleading. Dean balks at the thought of spending two or three hours watching her with Derek. Sam clears his throat quickly.
“Actually, I just got a text about a case. Seems pretty urgent,” he says. Y/N makes a face but nods as Dean sends a thankful look towards his brother.
“That’s too bad. But I get it. Family business and all,” she says with a wink. Dean nods, avoiding her eyes. “It means a lot that you were all here.”
“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” Jody says, her hand still resting against Dean’s back. She presses on him gently and he takes a step.
“Be careful!!” Y/N says. Dean steals one last look at her before continuing on to the car. Jody’s hand stays on his back as he pulls the flask from his pocket again. He finishes it off then tosses the keys to Sam.
“Where you wanna go?” Sam asks, catching the keys. Dean pulls open the passenger side door for Jody and looks at his brother.
“Anywhere with a lot of liquor,” he tells him. Sam smiles a little sadly and nods before getting into driver’s seat. Dean closes the door for Jody then gets into the back with Cas. He leans his head back against the seat and closes his eyes as his brother pulls away from the farm.
So I'm in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back, Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask, I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees, Yeah, she wanna get married, Yeah, she gonna get married, But she ain't gonna marry me.
78 notes · View notes
octoberclidan · 1 year
Text
You're Not a Burden
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: Reader (she/her) has been distant from both Sam and Dean recently. Dean goes to her apartment to find that reader has been struggling with her mental health. He brings her back to the bunker and makes her let him and Sam take care of her.
Note: this was written by myself for myself; there are probably mistakes. My first language is English but I'm not American, so it may sound weird in places if you happen to be American reading it. If you do happen to come across this and spend time reading it, I hope you enjoy it somewhat!
Masterlist
Story:
Dean made his way from the bunker's kitchen to the library, hoping to find Sam and see if there were any possible cases. They'd only just finished up a case the day before, but they were on a winning streak and Dean wanted to get as many wins in as he could while their luck lasted.
"So get this". Music to Dean's ears. Sam was staring intently at his laptop screen, and Dean walked over to look at the screen over Sam's shoulder.
"A couple were found dead in this abandoned house, I had a look back at the history and turns out there's a pattern. A couple has died in that house every six years going back to 1953". Sam explained while he was scrolling through a news article. "Think maybe [Y/N] would want to tag along for this? I know she's been busy the last few cases, but this sounds like a ghost to me and she's good with those".
Dean nodded in agreement. "Yeah, yeah I'll call her. Haven't seen her in awhile anyway, it would be good to catch up and see what she's been so busy with".
"You miss her don't you?" Sam smirked at him.
"What? Sure, of course I miss her when she's not around. Like Cas, or Jody, or... or Garth"
"You miss [Y/N] like you miss Garth?"
"Shut up". Sam still had a knowing smirk on his face and Dean glared at him. He enjoyed spending time with her when she joined them on hunts. They had first met on a ghost case several years back, Dean had instantly started to hit on her, and they developed a very flirty friendship but had never done anything. She often helped them on hunts, especially ghost hunts, but she also just hung out with them a lot too. She had watched movies with Dean, documentaries with Sam, sparred with both of them and researched with them. At least, she used to. They had been seeing less and less of her recently, she always seemed to be busy whenever Dean tried to call or text her.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called her, but it rang out. He tried again, and to his surprise she answered.
"Hi Dean". She sounded quieter, less energetic than usual.
"Hey Sweetheart, Sam and I think we have a possible ghost case, do you want in?"
"Oh I'm actually busy with something, but if you guys run into trouble just let me know".
"Are you okay [Y/N]? You don't really sound like yourself".
"Yeah I'm fine".
"Maybe after we're back you could come over to the bunker for a movie night? We haven't had one in months".
"Yeah, I have to go now, good luck and say hi to Sam". [Y/N] hung up on Dean before waiting for a response from him. Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean's confused expression.
"She just said she was busy again".
"Huh, think everything's okay?" Asked Sam, his expression turning to one of concern.
"You think maybe she's seeing someone?"
"What like dating? Would that bother you?"
Dean scoffed, trying to hide the answer that was probably written on his face. The truth was that it would definitely bother him. Although he and [Y/N] had never gone past flirting, he knew he had stronger feelings for her.
***
The hunt was successful, and the boys were back in the bunker within two days of leaving. Dean had texted [Y/N] while on the case asking for advice on an aspect of the case that he didn't really need advice on, but she hadn't answered him. Sam noticed him checking his phone at any chance he got, and Dean was noticeably distracted on the drive home.
"Dude why don't you just go see her?" Sam said as they walked down the bunker's staircase.
"What?"
"[Y/N], you know her address, it's only a 40 minute drive away. If you're that worried about her just go see her, I don't need you that distracted on a hunt, you almost let the ghost throw you through a window because you were checking your phone. In an abanded house, with the EMF reader going off, lights flickering, cold air, the whole works, you had your salt gun down by your side and were checking your phone!"
"Whatever Sammy". Dean rolled his eyes and made for the showers.
Dean walked from the shower back to his bedroom. Before even taking off his towel and getting dressed he checked his phone. Nothing from [Y/N]. He texted her again, asking if she was up for that movie night at the bunker. After getting dressed he checked his phone, no answer. He sat on his bed staring at his phone for a few minutes before calling her, but it rang out. Not being able to take the silence anymore, he grabbed his keys, stormed past Sam and got straight into the Impala, setting off for [Y/N]'s apartment. He needed to know that she was alive at least.
***
[Y/N] heard her phone buzzing for the fourth or fifth time that day, but ignored it again. She was tucked into her bed, and had been since the previous day. She had barely left her apartment at all in the last month, only really venturing out once or twice when she had finally run out of food. She felt tired, drained, and unmotivated. She hadn't hunted, hadn't met up with any of her friends, and just spent most days in bed either half paying attention to her TV or aimlessly scrolling through her phone. Any time someone tried to contact her over the last couple of months she had told them she was 'busy', not wanting to go through the effort of showering, dressing properly, and putting on a show. Over the last few days she had stopped responding altogether. The last person she had spoken to was two days ago when Dean asked her if she wanted to go on a ghost hunt, a conversation that lasted less than a minute.
She didn't know or care what the time was or how long she had been in bed that day, and was about to doze off again when the doorbell rang. The unexpected noise made her freeze. She waited a couple of minutes, trying to listen for further noise when there was a loud knock on the front door. Grabbing the gun on her bedside table, she slowly made her way out to the door. She stood up on her toes to look through the peephole and felt relief when she saw Dean Winchester standing on the other side. He looked agitated, and about two minutes away from kicking the door in. Before he had a chance, [Y/N] unlocked it and opened it just enough for her to show half of her face.
Dean paled when he saw her. She had severe bags under her eyes, she had obviously lost weight, her hair was all tangled and her clothes were creased, she had definitely slept in them.
"Dean?" Her voice was only slightly above a whisper.
"Sweetheart" Dean sighed, face full of concern. "Can you let me in please?"
[Y/N] just nodded and opened the door farther, stepping back to let Dean come in. He closed the door behind him and put his hands on her shoulders, slightly crouching down to get to her level and look her in the eyes. "Talk to me". He pleaded with her.
"I'm just tired Dean". She was avoiding eye contact, looking down and focusing her attention on nervously intertwining her fingers together.
"[Y/N] this is not just tiredness. When was the last time you ate? Brushed your hair? Left your apartment?"
"I don't know".
"Okay, you're coming back to the bunker now."
"No wait, Dean-"
"You're coming, no excuses, you're not busy, you just need a bit of help to get back on track".
"I don't want to be a burden. I'm just feeling a bit sad, I'll get over it, you can just leave me here".
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen. You're not a burden. Think of all those times you've helped me get through things, or Sam? It's okay to need to lean on us sometimes [Y/N], but you have to be honest with us, okay? No saying you're busy when you're actually feeling down from now on. You can be vulnerable around me, I already know you're a badass hunter, you've nothing to prove to me. Let me help you get your strength back". Dean grabbed her hand and opened the door, pulling her out of the apartment and down to the impala. He opened the passenger door for her before going around to the driver's side.
***
The drive back to the bunker was quiet. Dean would glance over to [Y/N] occasionally and each time would be shocked at how run down she looked. She was still beautiful to him, but he would much prefer a healthier look. When they got back he led the way down the stairs of the bunker, Sam looking up at them from the map table.
"Hey [Y/N], long time no see! How are... hey are you okay?" Sam stood up once he got a better look at [Y/N], just as surprised as Dean was at her appearance.
[Y/N] just nodded at him and tried to hide slightly behind Dean, not wanting anyone else to see her like this.
"Come on, you're gonna have a bubble bath and then you're going to watch a movie with me and Sam." Sam smiled sadly at her as they passed him, Dean holding her hand and leading her to the bathroom. She sat down on the closed toilet seat while Dean began drawing a bath, making as many bubbles as he could. No one had ever looked after her like this, her heart swelled at Dean's attitude towards her this evening. He hadn't made her feel embarrassed about how he'd found her or how she was acting, he really just wanted to help her.
"Right, that should be nice and hot. You get out of those clothes and get yourself comfortable in there okay? Don't lock the door, I'll be back in a bit with some clean clothes for you. You can use the soap there on the side of the bath. I'll get Sam to set up one of the bedrooms for you. You're going to stay here with us until we all agree that you're really alright." [Y/N] nodded in understanding, too tired to refuse, and Dean left, closing the door behind him.
The bath water was a perfect temperature, and once she lay down there were enough bubbles to completely cover her. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes for a few seconds, just letting herself enjoy something for once, before picking up the bar of soap and getting to work. True to his word, Dean was back with a pile of neatly folded clothes. He left them on the counter and kneeled down next to her, something black in his hand. Holding it up to her, she could see it was a hairbrush.
"Let's tackle this tangle of hair will we?" He smiled softly at her. "Sam said we could use some of his special conditioner that he keeps hidden under the sink". He winked and leaned over to grab it. "Can you lean forward for me a bit?"
"You don't have to detangle my hair Dean, I can do it myself".
"I know you can, but I would like you to let me do this for you".
[Y/N] gave in and turned her back to Dean, giving him better access to the mess on her head. He scooped up some water with his hands and poured it onto her head, dampening her hair. He then squeezed some of Sam's conditioner out into his hand and began gently threading it through [Y/N]'s hair. He used his fingers to untangle the worst of it, working from the ends and making his way up to her scalp. Once he got to the top of her head he began massaging her scalp, and [Y/N] couldn't help but close her eyes and lean back into his hands. He smiled at this, comforted by the fact that he was able to make her relax and feel good.
After a few minutes Dean added some more conditioner to her hair and picked up the hairbrush. He began to gently brush through her hair, now focusing on only the few small tangles that were left. They didn't speak, but the silence wasn't awkward, it was comfortable for both of them. [Y/N] felt both vulnerable and safe there with Dean, just letting him take care of her.
Once Dean had rinsed her hair he noticed that the bubbles were starting to die down, and the water was getting cooler. Not wanting to expose [Y/N] or make her cold, he decided to stand up and let her get dressed. "There's a clean towel here for you, and I've left some clothes on the counter. They're gonna be too big for you so make sure roll up the pants so you don't trip. You just take your time and when you're finished make your way to the Dean Cave okay? I'll get Sam to go get some food from that diner you like and I'll be setting up for the movie". With that, he closed the door behind him.
[Y/N] dried herself off and picked up the clothes that Dean had left her; an old t-shirt, one of his warmer looking flannels, a pair of his boxers, and pyjama bottoms. They were all loose on her, but definitely comfortable. She smiled when she noticed that the flannel smelled like Dean, the first time she had managed a smile in weeks. It felt like she was being hugged by him.
When she got to the Dean Cave, it was all set up ready for a movie. Dean looked up from his position on the couch and smiled at her when she walked in. He had loaned her a flannel before on cases, but seeing her entirely dressed in his clothes gave him a sense of warmth and comfort. "Hey Sweetheart, feeling a bit better?"
"Definitely cleaner and fresher, thank you Dean".
"No need to thank me". He patted the space beside him, motioning for her to take it. [Y/N] sat down a bit stiffly, not leaning back on the couch. "What is it Sweetheart?"
"It's just my hair is wet, if I lean against the couch it will dry kinda weirdly flattened on the back of my head".
Dean moved his thighs apart from each other. "Come on, sit down on the floor, I'll braid it for you".
[Y/N] raised an eyebrow, starting to feel a bit amused at this gesture. "You know how to braid hair?"
Dean rolled his eyes. "Charlie taught me, said it would be good to know if I ever finally managed to get a girlfriend or something". [Y/N] couldn't help put giggle at imagining Charlie trying to teach Dean how to braid hair, but she took his offer and sat down on the floor between his legs. Just like when he washed her hair, Dean was very gentle. He combed her hair back with his fingers and began to get to work.
"So do... do you ever like, want that?"
"Want what Sweetheart?"
"You know, a girlfriend".
Dean paused for a moment to think before continuing the braid. "I don't know how a girlfriend would work in this life. I don't want to bring anyone into the world of hunting, you know?"
"Yeah I get that. So what about someone already in that world?"
"I gue-"
"Hey guys, I got our food, movie ready to go?" Sam interrupted Dean as he came in with a bag from the diner, setting it down on the table Dean had set out in front of the couch. "Comfortable there [Y/N]?" Sam looked down at her.
"Hey Sam, did you know Dean could braid hair? He's actually pretty good at it". Dean had finished the braid and was now resting his hands on her shoulders, absentmindedly rubbing them.
Sam chuckled "I didn't know that, no. You feeling any better?"
"Yeah a little, let's see what food you got though". She stood up to open up the bag. Once they all had their food out in front of them, and [Y/N] had sat back between the two brothers, the movie night began.
***
[Y/N] had been staying in the bunker for five days when Dean knocked on her open door. She was sitting up on her bed reading through one of the library's many books on ghosts. She was feeling a lot better than she had been. She no longer felt like showering or getting out of bed were chores. She was eating proper meals with the boys every day, going out for walks with Sam, and even helped Dean clean Baby. She was starting to feel very content, and the Winchesters were starting to feel like a family to her.
"Hey, what you reading?"
[Y/N] closed the old book and held it up so Dean could see the cover. "I found this book on cases of ghosts from the 18th century, it's pretty interesting". She smiled at him.
"Well, speaking of ghosts, Sam thinks he's found one not too far from here. Please say no if you're not feeling up to it, we can call Garth to check it out, but if you're feeling well enough, fancy joining myself and Sam?"
[Y/N] nodded at him. "I think it's time to get back out there, though might leave the heavy lifting to you and Sam?"
"Of course, just come out and meet us in the library when you're ready"
"Dean?" [Y/N] called to him while he was turning to leave the room, he turned back around and caught her gaze. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure, go ahead". Dean walked over and sat on the end of her bed.
"I just wanted to say thank you for coming to get me. I was in a dark place and you saved me". Dean squeezed her leg comfortingly. "And I just wanted to ask, when do you want me to go back home?"
"Actually I was going to talk to you about that after the hunt. Sam and I talked it over and this room is yours. You can stay for as long as you like. If you want to split your time between your apartment and here that would be cool, or if you just wanna stay here, the bunker can be your home".
"Really? You wouldn't mind me being here?"
"Really". Dean leaned over and kissed [Y/N] on her forehead. When he leaned back he saw that her eyes were closed. There were no dark circles under them anymore, and she didn't look so gaunt either. She looked beautiful. Before he could change his mind, Dean titled his head slightly and pressed his lips to hers. [Y/N]'s eyes shot open in surprise, and she found Dean's were closed. She kissed him back and slid a hand up behind his neck. Dean deepened the kiss and grabbed her hip with one hand, his other still on her leg. He ran his tongue across her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, letting him in. He pushed forward causing her to fall back onto the bed, and he crawled over on top of her without breaking the kiss. Their hands roamed each other's arms and sides before eventually they broke for air. Dean smiled down and at her and she smiled up at him.
"I would definitely like a girlfriend who was already in the hunting life".
The end
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luckshiptoshore · 5 months
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So here we are then, at the end of season 9, and it’s time for my state of the union. What have I learned? How am I doing? What is going on?
Mostly I have to say I am endlessly rotating this comment about my ‘spn is a queer piece of media’ post:
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I’m really spinning this around in my brain. what did they mean by this? what could they possibly have meant???
Because baby, they only went and made season 9 gayer. Good god damn, it’s so gay. Yes, Cas fucks a woman, but that could happen to anyone, and in fact it often happens to bi men, which is what I actually think Cas is. He also assumes he’s going on a date with another woman but it turns out she’s just using him to babysit her child because she has clocked him as an honest and harmless queer man. This is truly the season Cas discovers that human women are feckless and often murderous and thus not worth his time, but Dean Winchester will always be there to save the day and unbutton his shirt. It’s Dean he’s trying to reach out to, Dean he can’t harm even though everything he’s trying to do depends on it. He just can’t quit that man!
And Dean. Dean gets told to push away and ignore Cas, so he does … and then he immediately decides to drive halfway across the country to stare at him through a window. He’s like a dog you tell to LEAVE IT and then you turn away for a second and when you turn back he’s got a suspicious expression and a weirdly bulgy mouth. And you’re like DEAN! DROP HIM. DEAN. BAD BOY! DROP. HIM. But Dean just will. not. do it. That’s HIS angel, dammit!
And then there’s Sam, the token straight man in all of this, who still spends half of the season with a literal man angel inside him. A man angel who canonically was in love with another man angel!
Oh and then there’s Crowley, who is absolutely in love with Dean now and has spent half of this season flirting with him, and then there’s Cain, who is also so in love with Dean that he just lets him have the murder blade (Dean’s pussy, as I have noted in previous posts, is truly eldrich horror catnip), and then there’s the whole Ghostfacers romance episode and the lesbianification of Sheriff Mills and the way Metatron is totally in love with Cas and the aforementioned Gadreel/Abner thing and … oh my god what did that commenter MEAN???? What straight thing was I supposed to see in season 9???
One thing I think is particularly fascinating in the text of season 9 is the way you can read the whole Dean/first blade plot as a coded look at the way Dean sees his own relationship with queerness.
I think we have established by now that Dean is a queer character, one who simultaneously knows and doesn’t know himself. He’s hiding in plain sight, being just plausibly deniable enough to pass. Then the first blade comes in as a literal mark of sin(!), something that singles Dean out as terrifyingly different and noticeable. It clicks with Dean, finds something in him that it can call to. It’s woken up a part of Dean that was inside him already.
The mark and the blade are given to Dean by a man, Cain. He reads Dean, correctly, as the right person to hold the blade and because of that he pressures Dean to accept it, even though Dean doesn’t outwardly want to. Then it’s activated by another man, the extremely and obviously gay-coded villain Cuthbert. He pushes Dean to use it in a scene that’s clearly supposed to read like an unwilling sexual encounter, telling him that it’ll get easier every time. And he might even end up liking it! Unpleasant stuff all round, but that moment kind of breaks the seal. Dean does start reluctantly using the blade, and every time he does he enjoys it a bit more, just like Cuthbert said he would. As that happens it also becomes a little more obvious each time to the other people around him what’s happening and who he’s becoming. He’s rapacious, he’s cruel, he’s giving in to his worst instincts. He’s finally hungry in a way he hasn’t let himself be since at least season 5.
Now obviously I don’t think that’s what it’s like to be gay. This website would be very different if it was. But I do think that you can make the case that this is what Dean thinks it’s like to be openly gay. You start letting yourself do gay stuff and then before you know it you’re just gaying dangerously all over the place! You can’t be stopped! It’s that idea that being gay feels good because it’s a sin and you’re a sinner and if you give into it you love sin like the big horrible monster you are. It’s the Shame! And Dean is totally motivated by the Shame.
And look, this is not the only interpretation of that plotline. Everyone has their own personal interpretations of media. That’s the point of media! You are free to disagree with me on this. But what I’m suggesting is completely supported by the text, and as always I find that totally fascinating. The people who made this show made this reading possible, and really the only question is how clearly they meant it. And what I feel very strongly after seeing this season and the one before it is that they were doing all this stuff with absolute clear-eyed intentionality.
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supernaturalistthings · 2 months
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Season 4 Dean Winchester Headcanons
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Lazarus Rising- Having a reunion with Dean after hell. You wouldn't believe it's him at first but after reassurance from Bobby and Sam you’d run into each other's arms. He'd be holding back tears while holding you like he needed you to breathe, and THE KISS? The kiss is magical and mixed with tears because you just can't believe you got the love of your life back. The relief you both feel is top tier. “Don't worry baby i got you” But really you'd have him and you know this is the start of a hard road of recovery for him.
Are you there God? It's me Dean Winchester- comforting and reassuring him after his fight with the ghosts of Meg and Hendrikson. Slowly running your hands through his hair and singing his praises because he deserves that. 
Monster Movie- You’d accompany the boys on this case and actually be the one to get taken by the “vampire”. Once Dean fights to get you back safe you'd laugh at the shifter together after everything is said and done and just be in awe of your lives and the things that happen.
Yellow Fever- You'd also be on this case with the boys. You'd comfort Dean about his ghost sickness and promise to keep him safe from any angsty teenagers that come your way. He really believes you and clings to you for any comfort he can get. You and Sam do the heavy lifting on the case, sharing the load of your worries about Dean together. You can't help but giggle a little when he gets scared of the cat jumping out of the storage thing. Vowing to tease him for it later, and you do when he's okay. “I had freaking ghost sickness okay?! Let that cat try it now and see how little I care…” he'd say.
Wishful Thinking- He wishes for you to be right there with him which results in the sudden urge for you to drive for hours to get to him. The downside of the curse is that you were not happy about the drive or being mind controlled by a coin so you're livid when you show up. Of course when the curse is broken you both laugh at the whole thing together and needless to say he’ll do ANYTHING to make it up to you;)
The Monster at the End of This Book- You’re shocked to learn that you and your boyfriend are full frontal in a book “youve got to be kidding me” was all you could say. You'd be even more shocked to learn that you have fans and they are “shipping” you and Dean. You'd be grossed out to find out that people also “ship” you and Sam. “Ewww” you'd both let out in unison. “Yeah it better be eww” Dean would huff out in disgust with an added eye roll.  Dean would secretly re read the chapters where it talks about your feelings towards him, he secretly loves that its written by a prophet how much you love and care for him. It's a huge reassurance.
When the Levee Breaks- You help him try to detox Sam and are there to calm him down when he's alone. He doesn't tell you that he gave himself over to the angels wanting to enjoy his last moments with you. You constantly have a hand on him and just hold him through the whole Sam demon blood detox telling him it's going to be okay no matter what happens.
Lucifer Rising- You're on Dean's side with the whole Ruby thing of course, you always saw through her and got the feeling she was just trying to manipulate Sam for some reason. You were with Bobby when Dean was teleported to the angels and you both were freaking out knowing there was nothing you guys could do. You sat with him panicked, waiting on any signs of life from either of them. Cas pops in to reassure you guys that Dean is somewhere safe which does nothing for the both of you and you freak out telling him to bring him back which then Cas just vanishes with no answers. Eventually Sam and Dean turn up pretty beat up. You're beyond pissed at Sam when you hear the whole story. You're beyond worried when you hear Dean say the devil is out and it's their problem.
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castieldelamancha · 5 months
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Castiel approaches Dean quietly, his gaze lingering in his profile, focusing on the way his brow is furrowed up in concentration, the tip of his tongue slightly peaking out through his lips, Castiel smiles as he sits down beside him, resting both his arms on the table.
"Hello, Dean."
"Hey sweetheart." He sounds distracted but not any less fond.
Dean moves the arm he has closest to Castiel's and bumps their forearms together, still looking down at the papers in front of him, he brushes his knuckles against Castiel's and, when Castiel turns his arm, offering his open palm to Dean, he takes his hand, interlacing their fingers together.
"Had a good walk?"
"Yes, I didn't wake you up, did I?" Dean shakes his head lightly.
"Would have like to go with you, as usual, but," he trails off.
"You needed to sleep, Dean, It's fine." Neither of them mention the reason why out loud, they both know Dean's nightmares kept them both awake, "whenever you are ready to talk about it, I will gladly listen."
Dean finally looks at him, smiling, nothing of the defensiveness a statement like that would have gotten Cas not that long ago present in his expression. He actually, to Castiel's confusion, laughs lightly as he takes Cas in, he reaches out and gingerly takes something out of Castiel's hair, showing it to him. It's a leave, its green color fighting a battle it was destined to lose against the arrival of an autumn's yellow. He leaves it on the table and goes back to staring at Cas, his eyes finding Castiel's.
"Later?" He says at last, Castiel nods.
"Of course." He looks down at their joined hands, and noticing the papers he asks, "What were you working on?"
Dean stares down at the table too, taking a deep breath, he sobers up, his smile gone, "I am done, Cas." Castiel tilts his head, waiting for him to elaborate, "I wrote a resume," his voice quiet, small,"there is an auto shop not that far away from here, I wanna ask for a job there." Dean points at the papers, "got to get a bit creative with my background, though." He shrugs lightly.
"That's amazing, Dean."
"Really?" He asks with a hint of hope in his voice, it's gone too soon, replaced by a guarded thing Castiel's doesn't particularly like."You ain't gonna tell me this is a silly idea? That we have lives to save? Monsters to hunt?" Those things, Castiel thinks to himself, don't sound like things Castiel would say, Dean's own inner voice seems the most likely source of such thoughts.
"You have done enough, Dean." He puts simply.
Dean huffs, "I don't think-"
"You have done enough." He repeats firmly, he cradles the side of Dean's face with his free hand, gently getting him to look at him, "and I believe, deep down, you know that too, you wouldn't have put a resume together if you didn't believe you could have this."
"But is retirement what you want too?"
"I'm exhausted, beloved." He says, and he means it, "I don't want to have to worry anymore if the kiss we share before we go on hunts is the last one we will get." He doesn't have a grace to fix it all anymore. They are playing with fire, expecting it to be kind enough not to burn them. Whatever Dean sees in his eyes seems to relieve the tension on his shoulders.
"I will drive to the shop on Monday."
"I will go with you."
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buckyalpine · 1 year
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Okay , onto my Frank request then! Being Frank’s friend and he’s all over the place but he’s attentive when it comes to you . He makes sure you’re okay and looks out for you . One night , he’s driving you to your place . He pulls you close in the front seat , cuddling his side while he’s holding a cigarette and driving with the other hand. When he stops at a red light , he turns to you to tell you how beautiful you are . One thing leading to another , you’re making out and when you reach your house , he’s picking you up by the back of your thighs and carries you inside . He makes you scream that night and then you fall asleep on his chest . But when you wake up , you’re in an empty bed . You’re so upset , thinking Frank treated you like any other girl he takes home for the night . You’re crying and you don’t hear the door opening or a worried Frank rushing to your side after picking up breakfast
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18+ minors dni 
Oh this sexy menace? Fuck yes.
Frank x f reader
"I don't ca-
"It's y/n"
Franks eyes grew wide, grabbing the phone from his friend to answer his call; he usually lets it go to voicemail but never with you.
"Hey peanut, you okay?"
"Mhm, m'fine" You slur out and he's on his feet making his way to his car. You said you were having a girls night and at least it sounded like you enjoyed yourself.
"Where are you right now"
He comes and grabs you, smirking when you stumble out of the club, right into his arms. He carries you to his car and buckles you in, you have a goofy grin plastered on your face and he's definitely taking a few pictures to tease you with for later.
Once he reaches your place, he has you in his arms again, chuckling at the way you cling onto him while he carries you to your room. He carefully removes your lashes and does his best to take off your makeup. He slips you into one of his shirt's you've stolen, tucking you into bed before crashing on the couch just in case you get sick in the middle of the night.
He knows he can be a bit of a mess but not when it comes to you, not his favorite little peanut. 
*****
“I told you it was good” You sass, while Frank shakes his head, taking another drag of his cigarette, driving you home. “Just admit it” 
“Fine, it was okay” 
“It was more than okay!” You poke his arm, the both of you coming back from a movie you had insisted on going to. If anyone else had told him to go, it would have been a hard no, but for you? He was at your door within minutes. That didn’t mean he wanted to admit it was actually a good movie. 
You continue rambling on about the movie, which makes him smile. Everything about you makes him smile. Your voice. Your smile. The way your nose crinkles when you laugh. He takes another long drag of his cigarette, he can’t stop the way his mind is racing; you’re so beautiful and sweet. You’ve been the most consistent person in his life, you’ve been there for him in more ways than he can count. You’re stopped at a red light and he can’t even stop the words tumbling out of his mouth. 
“You’re gorgeous” 
You roll your eyes, you were not new to Frank’s flirting, this was nothing new. 
“Y/n” 
Hm. He never used your name. You gasp, feeling his arm pull you closer to him, making him look at you. “You’re so beautiful...”
Your face is near his, you can feel your skin heating up with each passing second. He leans in slightly and before you can stop yourself, your lips smash onto his. His tongue slips past your lips, his fingers tugging your hair gently, as if something he had contained for ages was finally releasing. 
You moan, feeling his lips trail down to your neck, whining in protest when he has to reluctantly pull away after the light changes. There's only a few more blocks till you get to your place, but you’re more desperate than ever. 
As soon as he pulls up to your drive way, he’s ran around to the passenger seat before you can even unbuckle yourself. He easily lifts you to wrap around his waist, your thighs hugging onto him tightly and his lips are on you again, heading straight to your room. 
*****
“Y/n, give it to me baby, just one more sweet heart, c’mon” 
Sweat is beading at his forehead, his cock fucking in and out of you, he wants to cum so badly but not until you cum one more time for him. His hands are toying with your clit the other holding your waist while he gazes down at you. His lips are brushing against yours while he rolls his hips, the tip of his cock hitting your g-spot each time. 
He’s already made you cum twice (the benefit of being friends, you’ve told him what you like and he definitely paid attention during that conversation). The sheets are damp, your mixed arousal dripping out of you, making a mess everywhere. Its sloppy and desperate, pent up tension between you both reaching an all time high. 
“F-FR-ANK” you cry out, clenching and squeezing around his cock, your orgasm right on edge. Tears are prickling your eyes, pleasure is surging through your body, because of him. Your walls and fluttering and you can feel his cock throb. 
“Cum with me baby, milk my cock, you feel so good baby-fuck-can’t hold it” 
“I-fuck-I’m CUMMING” You cling onto him, your pussy making it impossible for him to hold off any longer, he can feel your slick gush out of you and he’s only going to fill you back up. 
“Gonna cum so hard for you y/n, FUCK” You can feel his warmth fill you up, his pace unrelenting trying fuck you through your high. 
You can barely move afterwards, hardly able to feel the warm wash cloth between your legs. You feel his arms wrap around you to pull you into him; he places your head onto his chest. He’s cradling your head, gently stroking your hair while you fall asleep, you’ve never felt so complete. 
****
The bedside his empty.
His clothes are gone.
You don’t see his wallet anywhere. 
He left.
You should have known. You were no different. You knew exactly who he was last night, he’d shown you who he was time and time again. Why did you believe you were any different.
Maybe because you actually loved him.
You thought he maybe felt the same.
Guess not. 
You curled into a ball, tears streaking your face as you cried, your face buried in your knees. You didn’t even hear the door open, crying harder when you thought about all the times you wished he was yours. 
"Peanut? Hey, hey baby" He rushes over to your side, immediately pulling you into his lap. His heart is beating out of his chest, he’s hardly ever seen you cry, mostly because he’s always there to stop the tears before they even start. 
"Baby what’s wrong"
"I-” You stop yourself from speaking, your skin heating up while he brushes your hair away from your face waiting for you to answer. You feel can’t bring yourself to tell him why your upset, not wanting him to think you’re clingy, especially if there's nothing more here. He looks terrified, wondering if he hurt you or if you felt pressured into doing something you didn’t want in the first place, he’d never live with himself if he hurt you. 
"Baby? Did I do something wro-
"No!" You bite your lip, worried about telling him more. "I-I thought you left" You whisper, looking down at your lap, refusing to look at him. 
"No sweet heart, I just went to grab us something to eat, thought you'd like those waffles from the diner"  He’s rubbing soothing circles on your back, pulling you to lay on his chest, just like he did the night before. "Why would I leave you"
You shrug, not wanting to tell him you thought he saw you like every other girl he takes home, fearing that really was how he saw you.
"I'd never leave you peanut"
You snuggle into his chest, still feeling unsure. He wraps his arms around you, his lips brushing your forehead. He’s thought about this moment 100 times over, and nothing compares to how perfect you feel, sitting against him. 
“You promise?” You whisper, smiling softly when he tips your chin to look up at you. 
“Baby, if you haven’t pieced it together already-
He hesitates. He might had said this haphazardly in the past before but this is real. He means it. He doesn’t want to screw this up.
“I love you” 
You blink up at him, gasping when he comes down to kiss you, the sweetest softest kiss anyone's ever given you. He stays with you the whole day. Many days. and nights. and you’re always safe. you’re always loved. in his arms. 
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