#you know when you feel safe with someone

[inkskinned]

she says he won't let her get a dog, which is fine, because they're in an apartment, and that's the kind of thing people say about their partners. he won't let me get a dog. and you're at a dinner party and you tilt your head a little to the side just like that dog he won't let her get, because is this the thing that's going to upset you? you don't know every corner of their relationship, she could be joking, they could have had so many healthy conversations about the dog, right, and maybe she's not letting herself get the dog because of money and time and whatever. but, like, she did say let

and she wants to move away from his hometown and he wants to stay and then he tells you with a wink and a conspiratorial stage whisper don't worry i'll convince her and she laughs about it - so clearly this is something they laugh about. but you do just stand there and stare at him like what the fuck, man. you can't say what you want to say which is why do you get the final say on everything because they're both obviously aware of the other person's stance on this and have obviously had private conversations about it and what are you going to do about it except make a scene and then he'll be mad at you and call you one of those bitches behind your back and she'll cut you off, which is a loss that doesn't feel worth it just because he makes you a little skeeved out every 3rd comment

and they both agree he just isn't the type to get flowers which is fine because everyone shows love differently, and are you really gonna judge someone based on their sense of individual relationship responsibility? maybe he's constantly cleaning her car and writing her poems and making her furniture or something. maybe she doesn't even like flowers and this is perfect, actually. and no you couldn't date him, obviously, ew; but like, she tells you she's happy. you almost send her a tiktok that says don't be 25 and the cool girl that doesn't need anything, you'll hate not getting flowers at 30, but that's like, starting drama & you shouldn't start drama needlessly.

and you're a little older than her but not so much older you can pull the whole trust me on this one babe thing and besides that wouldn't have worked anyway (when does it ever) and besides you have trauma so you and your therapist both agree that you're always looking for a problem even when there isn't one. and you tell yourself that just because you see them for 15 minutes every month does not mean you can identify every single red flag based on a single shitty half-joking(?) comment

and besides, what are you going to do? she says i actually wanted another stand mixer but thankfully he stops me when i'm about to spend too much money and you're standing there like are you okay? is this normal? is this just something people say? and again - what are you going to do?

to your therapist you try to language it - it's not, like, any of my business. but sometimes, doesn't it feel like - you should do something. there's got to be something, right? you've tried dropping little hints but they sail right through and you've tried having a single serious conversation and she got upset because why does it matter to you, yes it's different but we're happy, it doesn't need to make sense to you and you're like. really unwilling to push a boundary about it anymore; because the truth is that you know logically it shouldn't matter to you, as long as both parties are happy.

and besides, you've been wrong before. it's just... like, every time you see them both, something else happens, some kind of shiver down your spine like do you even hear each other when you talk. it's their strange, bickering orbit. just the way he's on his phone through dinner or watching sports instead of helping in the kitchen or, fuck, another one of these little throwaway comments he makes about we'll see about that, babe. she laughs when he calls her passions stupid shit and meanwhile she gets him tickets to see the knicks and he tells you well at least she's smart about something and still! it's none of your business.

you say get the dog anyway and she laughs. like, this is is you being funny. and not you saying - no really. get the dog. get the dog and get out of here. pack up and start running.

#this btw is not including toxic friendships this is legit just something ive experienced MANY times now #writeblr #you ever have a friend in one of those relationships where ur like #u don't HATE their partner explicitly #but ur like. what the fuck y'all #like the weird part of being an adult is that you can't be like . CERTAIN their relationship is toxic #and also if u move too fast or push too hard u can hurt someone who is already in a scary situation so you just are like #frozen there. laughing awkwardly. saying ''haha..... yeah..... couldn't be me....'' #and like u can't tell - is this banter or does he actually think like. he's better than her. #all you can do is be there for your friend and hope they wake up to it #or ... that it really IS good #and it's just odd to you #tbh btw id rather have my friends feel safe coming to me if they have a concern about my relationship #like yes it's not ur business but it also IS bc im making u hang out with them and also ur my friend #it's a weird thing to experience as an adult bc it is such a blurry line and when u spend time #around couples that aren't like ACTUALLY ur friends but instead ''extended friend circle'' ur like #.... i don't know y'all well enough and he just called you a cow. and ur okay with that . and i don't know how to respond. #so ur like :) okay. um. go to couple's counselling i think #but also you are NOT supposed to pass judgement so it's like.... this weird limbo of feeling like you SHOULD say something #but knowing you CANNOT #idk that there's a way to resolve it!!!!!!!! it's probably a different approach person to person #edited my tags bc tumblr's new system fucked em up #PS EDIT: btw i should have said: #the pronouns in this can work in any and every direction. every gender and every sexuality and every #type of relationship tbh. even non-romantic relationships where ur like ''what do u mean ur bff calls u stupid''

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: trauma / mind control / separation anxiety / autophobia / ]

Something that kills me is that there’s no way in hell that Raph’s debilitating separation anxiety isn’t infinitely worse after the movie. The trauma of being Krangified like that, all alone, would probably regress him so hard.

Not to mention his worries of getting “weird” would likely get mixed up with his experience while Krangified - aka, he loses full awareness, and when he’s brought “back” it’s to the understanding that he attacked his own family (of course not to his own fault at all, but how much of that does he believe?)

The fear of being alone would take on another layer and become a fear of himself.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #rise raph #trauma / #mind control / #separation anxiety / #autophobia / #codependency mention in tags / #after the invasion he checks up on the others multiple times and guiltily hopes one of them asks to stay with him for the night #he’s the big brother so it feels - wrong. to ask them to stay with him. #but his plushies don’t have heartbeats. and neither did the krang #and guiltily - guiltily - Raph is relieved when someones doing bad enough to stay with him each night #he doesn’t know it but the others see he needs it so they offer #man idk I just want Raph to be safe and happy #me having Raph feels at 3 am #I raise you: codependent Raph and Leo post invasion #they both dealt with losing the other #going from fighting and high tensions pre invasion to being scared to leave each others’ side post invasion #god wait this concept is so sad wait #but it works #may address this in a later post/fic ngl

[bericas]

isaac & scott / mason & theo | sometimes all i think about is you

#twedit #twvid #scisaac #mason x theo #twrarepair #back on my scisaac masontheo parallel bullshit btw #back on my masontheo is just scisaac if they were True enemies to lovers bullshit. btw. if anyone was wondering. #like of course scisaac and masontheo get paintaking scenes. its enemies to lovers. ofc mason calls theo a bitch its FULL enemies to lovers #for clarity the hands at the rave and the masontheo hug r parallels to ME bc its touch with an excuse for it #scisaac can brush hands when theyre holding a needle between them and theo can hug mason when its a means to an end #the rest i feel r fairly straightforward but i wanted to share the vision for that one #mason hewitt #theo raeken #scott mccall #isaac lahey #tw #oh also the last shot is the last shot of isaac and theo respectively. if that wasnt clear. #like how isaac and theo both nebulously sort of Gone from beacon hills #and the theo shot also to me looks like footage from The masontheo ep 618. btw. which just brings me joy #actually i have more to say. hi. masontheo r just so. #you know how isaac kind of has. he has the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise #theo doesnt even have THAT!!!! scott holds out a hand and isaac takes it with an awkward fervor #mason keeps his hands to himself because he doesn't trust what theo might do with it and theo can only help when its helping himself #bc the tenderness will be TOO AWKWARD. so isaac says he wont leave without scott and theo says we need to find him so i cant leave you #so isaac grabs scott because scott makes him feel safe and theo can only grab mason when its part of a script bc thats how he feels safe #HELLO. IS THIS THING ON. DO U GUYS HEAR ME. SCISAAC IF THEY WERE TRUE ENEMIES TO LOVERS!!!!

[nerdie-faerie]

I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.

Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.

Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents

#TVD #The Mikaelsons #Kol Mikaelson #Klaus Mikaelson #briefly back on my the originals shouldve gotten to be a family goddammit and as someone from a big family im personally offended bs #i did right a lil snippet about them bonding over this that i havent posted yet for the joml verse but still think its an unexplored concep #need more witch!kol acknowledgement honestly. just need more content of my boy #anyway. klaus having a fascination with the moon and kol telling him about celestial events and how it affects his magic when theyre boys #klaus losing that connection to the moon feeling lost & extra tempermental feeling his wolf claw at its binds and vowing to break his curse #kol determined to get his magic back at any cost relating to that devasting loss and promising to help him find a loophole for his curse #kol who becomes extra reckless and determined when he learns that theres a way to break klaus' curse so maybe he can get his magic back too #that knowledge and recklessness combined with his loss of magic driving him to become the volatile vampire that we see #that leads to him being daggered repeatedly but that first time breaks something in that bond between him & klaus that never fully recovers #it makes him bitter and resentful only fueling his reckless behaviour particularly when there seems to be no leads on reclaiming his magic #that he becomes distant from his siblings in the process especially with finn still daggered but that distance only cements the idea #to his siblings that hes a danger and cant be trusted that he needs to be daggered if theyre to stay safe from mikael #the loss of his magic leading to his spiral as a vampire and him being ostracised by his family > actual tvdu kol canon #klaus being trapped in a room staring at the corpse of his little brother knowing he never repaired that relationship with him #and now he never can so he refuses to look away as penance and a reminder of his failings to his little brother #*edit: one of the reblogs on this post is the author of big bad wolf and honestly she does an amazing job at portraying the mikaelsons #as actual siblings if you havent read it its one of my favourites for characterisations but we need more 😭 i want it to be the norm

[erabu-san]

Hmm I apologize again for the rant !

It is not the first time I am doing it. I might forgot to put "please don't tag it as ship" under my drawing of tighnari cyno. Please, do not !

I love them as best friend, I love them as brother/found family, I don't mind the queerplatonic relationship at all

But their romantic side make me pretty uncomfortable. No hate ! It is my own taste.

Shippers are always welcomed and I am so glad you like my content 💕 but all my art concerning them (unless I tag the ship) are purely platonic. I just ask for some respect of my taste and not reblog my art with the ship tag.

I don't want to block, because I am genuinely glad you enjoy my work and as a young artist, it means a lot for me. Thank you so much 🙇 !! But as a human, I can't deny how uneasy it makes me feel.

Thank you for understanding !

#rant #I blame nobody #i am clearly not used to block ): I should tho but I know those who tag ship are not mean at all </3 #it is fine if you don't know. #but i saw people reblogging my art with shiptag even if i said “do not” #my art is like my only safe place please respect it #this ship is so popular and I clearly stop to interact with the fandom because of that #i clearly ignore when I saw one in my timeline /dashboard becausz I can't do nothinf against it except masking the account #but I beg you. not. under. my. post. #not in my DM #why i feel obligated to justify myself 😭 #but yeah !!! the ship is valid and full of greenflag !! wholesome !! #but I only enjoy them platonically !!! please respect 😭😭😭 I SWEAR I AM DESESPERATE WHY IT IS SO HARD FOR SOME TO RESPECT THAT OMG #gosh on twitter someone said me “ignore ??? what did you expect ??? it is the most popular ship” #I AM TRYING I AM LITERALLY NOT SEARCHING FOR FANART 😀 #feeding myself with my own food #that's why I am so grateful for people who support me. thank you. 😭 #and how could I ignore a comment under my post ??? interaction are so important for me I read everything #ANYWAY SORRY FOR RANTING !!! IT IS CLEARLY A /NOTMEAN POST !!! #next time I won't forgrt “do not tag it as ship” #but urgh if I do this I have to do in every post ???? 🤨 #and what if I draw tighnari cyno kaveh but I don't mind ship with kaveh ??? 🤨🤨🤨 (plz still don't) #tHERE IS PLENTY OF CYN0N4RI ACCOUNT IF YOU WISH TO SEE MORE CONTENT OF THEM !! Please support them <<3 mine are platonic ! #but clearly. imagine you are obsessive about two characters <<3 #but their popular ship is the one who make you the most uncomfy 😀 #so you decided to just stop looking at fanart and not bothering anyone 👍👍 #but it came under your post and your DM 😟 #AAA SORRY I AM SALTY I SWEAR I AM NOT USED TO FEEL LIKE THIS ):< #anyway plz take care ilove you mwah 🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕

[thepoisonroom]

it's so crazy that you can just fall in love and the other person can love you back btw

#my girlfriend choosing to take a chance on dating me when we didn't even know each other was so crazy i'm obsessed with her #every time i think i'm chill about how great she is i'm wrong she might be the best person i've ever met :( #did you know you can feel completely safe and relaxed and at ease like a cat napping in a sunbeam. when you are with someone else even #personal nonsense

[fernlessbastard]

hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl

Yeah no based true real no questions asked

I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)

But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)

#i deeeefinitely have no reason to have strong feelings about bpd bitches deserving love and care and stability ha ha nooo it's definitely- #-not like I've been dating one for well over 4 years now and even though we've been through so much shit together and I still can't- #-understand why people with bpd and conditions that have similar symptoms are so demonised. It just makes no sense to me. #my bf is the love of my life and i can't imagine /not/ supporting it through all the splitting and episodes and all of that cause they're- #-absolutely worth everything #i don't know not to be too gay on main but tbf it's too late now anyway i think-- #is it unstable? sure. but it's also the most caring and loving person i've ever been close with and it always makes sure i'm ok #and it loves me so undeniably deeply no matter what purely for who i am #i've never had anyone care about me this much and this genuinely and this unconditionally - it'd always be what /they/ can get out of /me/ #but my boyfriend just cares about me - the actual me - no matter if i'm acting how it imagined i'd act. what matters is if i'm /me/ #listen bpd isn't sunshine and rainbows - we've been through some TERRIBLE shit (including s-cide attempts) #but when people claim it makes a relationship toxic/abusive it's so stupid cause ultimately with mutual love support and reassurance- #-and professional help you can have a genuinely happy and healthy life with someone with bpd #love isn't mean to be easy. it's meant to be safe and supportive and genuine but a relationship always takes effort and work on both sides #you should never sacrifice your well being of course! #but when love takes effort and extra care it doesn't inherently mean it's unhealthy or toxic or abusive. it just means you're people. #tldr if you love someone then don't care about some diagnosis - care about the actual perso. #ask #asks #ask fern #tntduo #dsmp #tnt duo #wilbur soot #quackity #quackbur #dream smp #tntblr #c!quackbur #c!tntduo

[bittersweetresilience]

say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess

cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you

and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while

don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing

so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake

and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think

so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today

#miraculous ladybug #felix fathom #marinette dupain cheng #felix graham de vanily #🌃 #ml amvs #felinette felinette felinette FELINETTE #i'm shrimping so hard i'm gromping i'm making absolute tempura #yes the 2 am coco pops félix post was made while i was finishing this yes i am constantly experiencing inconsolable félix feelings #félings even. GOD GOD GOD okay listen #i could do a line by line analysis of this song and how i made the amv i have too many thoughts to put in the tags i am exploding #but in summary REPRESENTATION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPRESENTATION. EMOTION. REPLIQUE. FUCK ME #félix's trauma an open scar leading her to the art room as far as both of them will go to feel right #ALL HE EVER WANTED WAS TO KEEP ADRIEN AND THEN MARINETTE SAFE #it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark huAHUAHHGAG I MTHRWOING UP it's how he doesn't care what she thinks of him #how she sees him whether she hates him he's Chosen her as someone to protect and he will DO IT he will TAKE HER WHEN HE RUNS #i don't care if you beat me i know i have this under control and i'm protecting you and everything is going to be okay EXPLOIDNGNIG #tomorrow is a mile away tomorrow where i find out who you are tomorrow where we have to come apart #this is how it GOES you're the hero i'm the villain adrien is the lover i'm the monster i'm the cousin #marinette and félix and Knowing each other is so #THEY DESERVE SO MANY OTHER DAYS THEY DESERVE TO SLOW DOWN AND BE WITH EACH OTHER AND NOT HAVE TOMORROW PULL EVERYTHING AWAY AND UAHAUHGAUGH #i'm not well about them. félix and freedom and escape #ALSO i have so many feelings about félix cherishing the people he wants to save so much he was willing to do the same thing that led to #his own trauma and use the peacock miraculous TWICE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME ARE YOU KIDDING ME #you can read it differently but right now come with me ARE YOU KIDDING ME #also ALSO i often think about how felinette standing in front of réplique is a reference to pv felinette #and me placing that directly before the wish is a nod to how the pv was rewritten into canon miraculous. a meta wish... felinette remains #but also in universe you can wish away the world that once was and you'll still never find another thing quite like félix #and who you were and could have been to each other today... cherish him marinette... please cherish him for me #i hit tag limit on this essay so i'm not tagging the episodes i used in the amv but i used all eight félix episodes as always

[feluka]

hate that whenever i show my mom my art her immediate response is always "are you sure you have that much free time to do this?"

#at least tell me you like it first 😭 #and then sometimes she critiques it and i don't mind per se but #she really doesn't know much about art. and that's ok too! #but she. always wants to make sure to give me a tip. it makes her feel better i think #but also the tip makes no sense idk what to tell her except 'yeah sure :)' then ignore it #and then when she sees that i didn't follow her advice at the final product she's like 'well never ask me again what i think 🤨' #and then she gets mad when i refuse to show her something i'm working on #like recently i haven't been showing her because i don't want to show others my commission work except for the person who paid for it #just to be safe. and also because #sometimes her advice is so... idk. like if i'm drawing someone with short hair she'll be like 'well it would be better if you drew her with #with long hair!' omg ok but that would be a different person then? 😭

[squeakadeeks]

if i had a dollar for every time a religious missionary knocked on my door to "spread the good news" while i was actively in an acute mental health crisis i'd have 2 dollars, which isnt a lot but also. how many times does this have to happen before they stop coming.

#technically ive actually had three but the ones where they come to my home feel more violating and embarrassing #heads up im going to talk about grim things but its so bananas that its hard not to talk about #2 years ago i had one come while i was Participating In An Activity One Does When You're Grappling With SI #and it was a very bad time and an overall terrible encounter #especially bc it was obvious at the time i was deeply unwell but of course they didnt want to actually address it #and today i had two come while i was having an active manic episode and looked DEEPLY insane and was in the middle of some bullshit #and both times as soon as i opened the door i can tell theyre like 'oh fuck' and realize that theres something serious going on #but at the same time. play stupid games win stupid prizes. #if someone is having a MH crisis they try to do it in a safe and private environment like their gotdamn house for a reason w/o strangers #and if you just show up unannounced to talk about Mormonism to a random persons house theres a good chance youre going to be- #interrupting something and that something isnt always good #i know door-to-door solicitors are '''normal''' but the whole thing really whacks me out and makes me feel kind of angry

[bredforloyalty]

this is a whole different deal but also not really but i wanted to say that i wrote something about this post and then just left it in the drafts

because it pissed me off. a little

#like i'm sorry i know where this is coming from it can be annoying when someone is an adult and they don't want to take responsibility for #how their life is turning out but what a misunderstanding. of dependency #''you guys are nostalgic for being young and powerless wtf lol couldn't be me. i was sooo abused i took control of me life asap'' #wonderful for you!! does not mean people who wish to go back to when they were powerless had a good and safe childhood. #in fact. abuse can be exactly like that. you feel like you're nothing outside of that relationship or that environment #like come on. i know we have more empathy than this #*my 🙄 #kata.txt

[hussyknee]

Will white queers please come and get their people

The staggering half-wittedness of this logic aside, ALL OF THIS IS ALREADY HAPPENING YOU IGNORANT FUCKS PEOPLE ARE GETTING FIRED REPORTED AND DOXXED RIGHT AND LEFT.

I cannot tell you of the depth of my sheer, utter loathing for these craven, snivelling, ghouls. The last fucker doing this with both the trans flag and Palestine flag in their bio is the final insult. There has been a barrage of these posts by white queers both here and on twitter in tandem with the escalation of Israeli bombings, and some of the responses have been in the vein of "yes we know, but now is not the time". As if it that makes it any less repugnant or your hands any less stained in blood.

After three fucking weeks, the Rafah border has been opened for all of 500 people, most foreigners and dual citizens and a handful of gravely injured Palestinians. Instead of calling for a ceasefire, this demon wants brownie points for letting them leave and leaving the other two million people with a few trucks of """"aid""". So they can patch themselves up before getting blown to pieces. And repeatedly, repeatedly, liberals want us to acknowledge this as the "good" we will lose if Trump comes to power.

This grief is fathomless, depthless, unbearable. Anyone who does this is the same as fascist appeasers and collaborationists. Kids in cages? You don't care about kids being massacred!White queers will literally lick the boots of genociders and child-murderers. You would have sold Jews out to the Nazis, the African slaves back to the slavers, the Civil Rights Movement to the segregationists, the Indigenous tribes to the scalpers and their children to the residential schools.

If you are our allies please shut these scumbuckets down. Otherwise, don't worry, I'm sure the Democrats are gearing up to be the same kind of defenders to you that they've been to Muslims, Latin immigrants and the Black community. Genocide will definitely feel better if you've chosen who gets to do it to you.

#i'm too exhausted and heartsick to do alt text #if someone wants to do it for me i'll add it #i dont know why i keep expecting the bare minimum of decency from white or western people lmao #but how do we feel like we belong or that we're safe here #when our noses keep getting rubbed in the fact that we're less than worthless to them #it's always fuckers with progress flags and blm and whatever flag in their bio #how do you look at 3500 dead children and square your conscience #white privilege #white sociopathy #white queers #western leftists #free palestine #fuck joe biden #genocide joe #palestinian genocide #palestine #war crimes #knee of huss

[jimmyspades]

#your pretty face and electric soul #yeah listening to lana and thinking about him. won't apologize for it anymore #james spader #alan shore #boston legal #* #my mom likes the episodes where they go on trips I do too #and I like this one when alan is serious when he's really focused and bothered by injustice and invested in the case #[PSH in Patch Adams voice] this is serious! business! #it's nice to picture him thinking about real things. they show it on the show sometimes but not too much. not as much as the practice even #in this ep when he talks about his friend who survived katrina or another fave scene when he talks to his jewish friend abt ישראל #you can tell how bothered he is. about things that are wrong. about the horrible things that happen #he thinks and feels so deeply. he's so sensitive to the world and I think disturbed he can't do more. it eats at him he gets stressed #and this can be a silly show and a means for escape sometimes but idk. also nice to know he gets exasperated too #that he'd be someone safe to talk to when you get scared or angry or upset with the world #denny doesn't always listen to his serious thoughts... #I wanna sit with him on that balcony and let him talk. rub his back until his headache is gone. tell him to get enough sleep

[gregoftom]

pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this

#tomgreg #where do i even start with t his horseshit okay here we fucking go. #so tom's first instinct is to go to greg when he's on shaky ground with shiv. the only way he feels safe is to have GREG with him. #who tf would want greg as an attack dog??!?!? lets be fucking real. when he says that i think he means just a dog. just someone loyal. #who loves him and won't dick him around. i think he's pretty tired of it by now. #he wants an alliance with like. ok in this show who would you pick to ally with. i love greg but he's abso useless in terms of skills that #would keep you safe. if anything TOM would keep HIM safe. in fact tom himself says who else has taken care of you. literally spells it out. #he even says greg is a joke; will fail; will fuck up; so what use does he have for tom other than companionship. other than love? #a dog might do tricks for you but your main reason for getting one is usually love. right? at least it should be. it would be in tom's case. #and don't even fucking get me STARTED on ''do you wanna come with me? ...sporus?" like girl. #you know what you told him about nero and sporus right. and now you're saying to him; yeah i was talking about you. #you and me. you're my favourite and i wasn't joking when i said i'd marry you. #the whole while tom is asking greg to be his attack dog his fuckin. eyes and expression we get it you're in love with him. like it's ridic. #and all this coming with phrasing it sounds like they're fucking ELOPING. I HATE IT!!!!!! SHUT UP! stop saying that fucking shit god. god #they are so annoying. anyway #the way tom's voice breaks as he says he has things to do [what things. will i find out later.] and the deal and!! #what am i gonna do with a soul anyways... i have you what do i need it for. and as that paragraph said somewhere. he castrates his soul. #then they giggle and are fucking annoying and greg'S HANDS LOOK LIK EHE'S ABOUT TO IDK. HUG TOM? AROUND THE MIDDLE MAYBE #or do something else. and then they just hug instead and i fucking. ugh. i've had enough tbh good fucking bye

[miabrown007]

going crazy about kaz brekker hours

#HE'S JUST *screams into a pillow* #Inej wants him to be better she NEEDS him to be better and shed his armour and be emotionall vulnerable and honest to her #and every time he tries it life delivers a right hook into his solar plexus and knocks him to hell and back #and time and time again he is made to come to the incorrect conclusion that being vulnerable and soft and caring about anyone ever #is a mistake and a weakness that he isn't allowed that he doesn't deserve #and his only way of getting what he wants and keeping the people he loves safe is if he becomes something that can't love them #like life just continues to punish him for having any kind of feelings #and he can only love them if he kills the part of himself that loves them. like COME ON MAN #i'm literally unwell about this kid (KID HE'S FUCKING 17 LET HIM LIVE) #someone sedate me (well actually don't i need to start reading CK tonight) #Kaz I Am Ruin And Ruination Brekker #and it's so tragic because he has come such a long way during SoC and when Inej asks him to be hers you know he can't do it. he would like #to but he's unable of it like his walls are still built up so high. #and it's fair of her to ask because she needs that and keeping her always at arms length is not viable of Kaz but also that's all he can #currently give her. that's his all and it's not enough and my heart is breaking for them ohmygod #they make me think so much of felonies love square I'LL EAT GLASS #okay. anyway. finished six of crows. i'm normal about them. #mia's reading

[lilaccatholic]

how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?

#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk #i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting #it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer. #i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love. #im not the type you launch a thousand ships for. #so what's left? #who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture. #i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for. #im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now. #except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving. #i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around. #how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too. #its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like #ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out. #ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing #the trail? how do i become myself happy and free? #because i WANT to be more #i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy #but i dont know how to get there #and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me #all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself #i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do #anyway. #anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol #im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good. #please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM #lilac rambles