#you may ask do i think im funny and the answer is yes

[prettyboyeddiemunson]

what’s your favorite scary movie?

summary: porn star eddie is doing a halloween film with his costar, one that involves a certain mask.

pairing: porn star eddie x porn star reader

word count: 5.9k

warnings: being filmed, daddy kink, use of a realistic plastic knife (nothing weird with it, though), unprotected sex, creampies, choking, brief oral sex (m & f receiving), mentions of anal, breast play, anal fingering (f receiving), degradation, rough sex, kinda dubcon

a/n: im aware halloween is over, but its always Halloween in my mind! also, sorry if anything like this has been done. I just returned to tumblr, and haven’t read many fics here in like 8-9 months.

18+ ONLY. minors do not interact or follow, or you’re getting blocked.

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Ring! Ring!

The phone next to you was ringing its familiar ringtone, and you looked at it with an eye roll. Unknown number, typical. You were acting the part of someone who didn’t like spam calls, but you hated them just as much in real life, too. You turned your attention back to the TV, ready to forget all about it and delete any voice mail they may leave, when it began to ring again. The same number popped up, and you killed the call. They called again, and again, and after the fifth time, you’d finally had enough.

“What do you want?” you asked irritably.

“y/n,” a deep voice came over the phone. “How nice to catch you.”

“Who is this?” you asked. 

“That doesn’t matter,” he said, and you could hear a grin in his voice. “I was lonely, and thought I would give you a call.”

“Very funny,” you said. “Tell me who you are.”

“What’s the fun of that?” he asked. “Isn’t mystery supposed to be more fun?”

“Is it?” you asked. “You’re probably just someone I know, trying to play some kind of weird joke.”

“Am i?” he asked. “I don’t think I know you at all.”

“Then how did you know my name and my number?” you asked. “Answer me that.”

“Maybe I have my own methods,” he said. “Ever think of that?”

“Ha ha,” you said with an eye roll. You hung up, but the same number called again and you picked up. “Yes?”

“That wasn’t very wise of you,” he said dangerously. “You didn’t even let me ask my questions.”

“They’re probably something really fucking gross,” you said. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Now, now,” he said, tsking. “What do you take me for?”

“A pervert,” you said.

“You’re right,” he said with a dramatic sigh. “But that isn’t why I’m calling you.”

“No?” you asked with a chuckle. “Coulda fooled me.” 

“What’s your favorite scary movie?” he asked, and you could almost hear the grin in his voice.

“What the fuck?” you asked, sitting up on the couch. “What kind of question is that?”

“Are you going to answer it?”

“No, now goodbye–”

“Hang up again, and you’ll regret it.”

The threatening tone of his voice gave you pause. “Who is this?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?” he asked again.

“Whatever,” you said, and dared to hang up. It didn’t last long until he called again, and you rolled your eyes as you answered. “What?!”

“I’m sorry for disturbing you,” he said. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“I’m not gonna entertain you,” you said. “You’re a fucking creep.”

“Just answer my question and I’ll leave you alone,” he said.

“Fine,” you said with a sigh. “I really like Psycho, Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Exorcist.”

“I know you like Friday the 13th,” he said, and he laughed evilly on the other end. “I can see that you’re watching it right now.”

You froze, sitting bolt upright. “What did you just say?”

“Never mind that,” he said. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No..” you answered automatically, looking around the darkness of your windows for any signs of life. “How do you know what I’m watching…?”

“Just a guess,” he said.

You got up and turned on all the lights, looking around again to see if you could spot someone. “Look, I need to go–”

“Don’t hang up,” he nearly shouted.

“Look, this isn’t funny or cute anymore,” you said. “I’m really uncomfortable, so if you could please–”

“You look really sexy in your pretty lingerie,” he said. “I mean, I think that’s what it is. You’re wearing that pretty pink babydoll with a thong. You like to tease people, y/n? That isn’t very nice.”

“Fuck you, creep,” you said.

“You didn’t ask what my favorite scary movie is,” he said.

“I don’t care!” you cried. “Leave me alone!”

“It’s The Strangers,” he said, and you could swear his voice sounded different now. More echo, closer somehow. “You know, that movie where those people break into that house.”

“I’m–” you began, and your back collided with someone as you backed away. 

You played the part of terrified really well, and you could see the cameraman giving you a thumbs up as you kept the facade. You turned around slowly, shouting in surprise when you came face to face with a man in a mask. He was in all black, and the rest of his mask was black as well, except for the face. It looked like a ghost, its mouth agape in some kind of eternal shock. In his hand was a knife, but you knew it wasn’t a real one. It was plastic that was made to look like the real deal, something the director found at a joke shop for a little bit of nothing. You shrieked and tried to run away, but he grabbed you and held you against his back as he stroked your hair in a near-loving gesture.

“Shh,” he said in your ear, trailing the knife down your arm. “It’s okay. I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Could have fooled me,” you said, feeling yourself already starting to get wet as you felt him hardening against your ass. “Why are you here, then?”

“I was hoping maybe I’d get lucky,” he purred, moving the knife between your breasts as you shivered. “You’re so much hotter up close.”

“And what do YOU look like under that thing?” you asked, your voice conveying the whole “stall him” vibe that the director wanted you to go for. “It’s not really fair that you see me and I can’t see you. If you’re really not gonna hurt me, then why won’t you show me?”

“I’ll show you,” he said, and you could hear the smirk in his voice. “If you do one thing for me.”

“What?” you asked, turning your head so that you could look at him slightly. 

“Show me those pretty, perfect tits,” he said in your ear, running the knife between them again. “Outside of that baby doll.”

“And what would you do for me in return?” you asked, turning around in his grip and looking into that mask. “Let me live?”

“Maybe,” he said, looking you up and down. “But first, I’ll just show you my face if you do. Let’s start there, yeah?”

You smirked at him, lowering the thin straps of the baby doll and biting your lip. “You’re probably some total asshole under there. I mean, who calls random women at nine on a Friday night, stalks them, then breaks into their house?”

“Keep going,” he said, his eyes on your breasts. “Show me.”

“You’re a real pervert, you know that?” you said.

“And look what you’re doing,” he said smugly. “Giving into me.”

“You came here to kill me,” you said. “I know that to be true, but it seems like you changed your mind. Why?”

“Because why would I waste such a good set of tits?” he asked. “And I know that pussy of yours is also perfect.”

You swallowed, but smirked as you pulled the baby doll down. You exposed your breasts to him, and heard him suck in a breath. That wasn’t scripted; it was his genuine reaction. You bit your lip again, smiling as you stood before him. He took the knife and dragged it over one erect nipple, causing you to shiver and moan slightly. That also wasn’t scripted or an act, and you knew that whatever happened from this point onward, it was going to be genuine. Well, aside from the basic acts they wanted you to perform on each other, but the reactions? It would be all you, and him. 

“Like what you see?” you asked, shaking them a bit as he groaned.

“Fuck yes,” he said, his ringed hands coming up to grope them. You moaned a little, head tipping slightly as he massaged them in his hands. “I guess I need to hold up my end of the bargain, too, huh?”

“Mmm hmm,” you said, mewling as he gave your nipples a soft pinch. “Shit…”

He stepped back, and you whined at the loss of contact. He lifted the mask with one hand, revealing his face underneath. You acted as though you were surprised to see just how sexy he really was, and his pierced tongue came out between his lips with a devils-horn gesture at the top of his head. You smiled, moving closer to him and running your hands down his chest as he looked you up and down again. Soon, he was grabbing your head forcefully, and drawing your lips to his in a passionate, hard kiss. It turned sloppy, your hands wandering and his, too, finding purchase on your hips as he squeezed. Your tongue played with his piercing, and you could feel the presence of the cameraman in front of you both as you made out. One hand tangled in his hair, the other palming the big bulge that was forming in the front of his pants. His hands came up, grabbing your breasts hard as you moaned into his mouth. He tugged your lower lip between his teeth, moving away to start kissing down your neck. 

“You feel so big,” you breathed, mewling as his teeth found your sweet spot. “Fuck…”

“You have no idea,” he said, pulling your body to his before grabbing your ass. “I want you so bad.”

“Come on,” you said, taking his hand and leading him into the living room. You pushed him down on the couch, straddling his lap before grinding against his dick. “You know what I want you to do?”

“What?” he panted. 

“Want you to rip this thing off of me,” you said in his ear, tugging the lobe in your teeth. 

“Oh?” he asked, grabbing the back of it and tearing it down the middle. “Like that?”

“Mmm hmm,” you hummed, kissing his neck as he moaned. “And I want you to put the mask back on.”

“Okay,” he said, smirking before his face disappeared beneath the Ghostface mask again. 

“You know what else I want?” you asked, moaning as you continued to glide along his clothed erection.

“Hm?”

“I want that big, thick cock down my throat.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

You could hear the smirk in his voice, and it would have infuriated you under any other circumstances. Right then, though, you were too turned on to care. You moved from your spot on his lap to slide to your knees, keeping your eyes on him as you did so. You palmed the bulge in his pants again, feeling how hard he was and suppressing a moan. He watched you from beneath the mask, both of his arms stretched along the back of the couch as you pulled his pants down. His breathing picked up a bit as you put your mouth over his cock through his boxers, and soon, you were pulling those down, too. He was exposed to you now, all nine inches of his thick, pierced, flushed erection at your mercy. As per the script, you teased him a little, sucking on his piercing before swirling your tongue around his slit. He mewled, panting as you took the tip in your lips and sucked eagerly. His arms remained on the back of the couch, not moving yet as you started planting messy, noisy, open mouthed kisses all over the entire length of his cock. You moved farther down to take his big balls into your mouth as well, sucking on them with a moan as you jerked him off skillfully. He was panting a little more heavily now, and you traced his large vein with your tongue as you made your way back up his length.

“Don’t fucking tease me,” he growled.

“Sorry, uh…” you said. “I don’t know what to call you.”

“You can call me Daddy,” he said, reaching down with one hand to stroke your cheek. “And what shall I call you, huh?”

“Anything you want,” you said with a wink, spitting on his cock and jerking him off. “Such a big dick, fuck.” 

“What did I say about teasing?” he asked, tilting your chin up with the knife.

“Sorry, Daddy,” you said, opening your mouth and taking his entire cock.

You gagged for a moment until you got your reflex under control, which was something you’d gotten good at in the business. You could feel him in your throat, stretching, his piercing at the back of it as you drug your head up, then back down. He was moaning above you under the mask, his head tipped back as he tangled a hand in your hair. You looked up at him, bobbing your head slowly as you gripped his base in one hand. You began to jerk him off in time with your movements, ignoring the camera man as he came around to get some close up shots. It felt as if he wasn’t even there, that’s how into it you were starting to get. You could feel your pussy throbbing, wetness settling in the thong you still wore as you sucked him off.

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, tugging on your hair as you hollowed your cheeks. “You’re so fucking good at that. You’re a filthy little cock slut, aren’t you? I mean, who else just gets on her knees for a man she’s just met, especially one who broke into her house to hurt her?”

You responded by twisting your wrist, eyes still on him as you sucked him off messily. Drool cascaded from his dick and onto the floor below, and your throat was starting to hurt a bit from his piercing. But he was so hot, THIS was so hot, and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. His hips bucked upward with a loud moan, and you choked as more of his cock went down your throat again. He stroked your cheek tenderly, before yanking you off of his dick. Spit bridged your lips to the tip, and you looked up at him in surprise. Was this scripted? You couldn’t quite remember, but either way, it sent a fresh wave of arousal to your cunt.

“Rub my dick across your tits,” he said. 

“Those are one of my biggest insecurities,” you replied, but did as he asked as he moaned filthily. “But you like them, huh?”

“Fuck yes,” he panted, watching as you sucked his tip again. “You’re so hot.”

“Thanks,” you said, and you continued to alternate between rubbing his dick over your breasts and sucking him off. After a little while, he forced you to stop by grabbing your jaw. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re gonna make me cum if you keep that up,” he growled. “Did I say I was ready to cum yet?”

“No, Daddy,” you said, reaching out to jerk him off. “But I can’t stop worshipping this huge, perfect dick of yours.”

He grabbed your wrist and pinned it to the couch, causing you to whine. “Let me make you feel good.”

“You already did,” he said, grabbing your spit-soaked chin in one hand and forcing you to look up into his mask. “Now, it’s my turn.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, trying to take him into your mouth again, but you were greeted by a light slap to your cheek. “What?”

“I said stop it,” he said, pushing you away as he got up off the couch. “Sit up here for me.”

You whined, but did as he said. You sat down on the couch, watching as he lifted the mask again. He kissed you hungrily, sloppily, one ringed hand squeezing your jaw before it found your throat. He choked you for a moment, and you moaned as his hands found your breasts. He massaged them skillfully, his rings cold against your heated skin, his fingers rubbing your nipples until they were hard buds. He pinched them, tugged on them, swiped his fingers across them, all while you moaned hotly in his mouth. He grabbed his plastic knife, running it over & between your breasts before dragging it over your waist and stomach. 

“I’m going to show you just what I’m capable of,” he said, kissing down your neck after leaving a series of hickeys in his wake. He nipped at your collarbones, before he found your breasts. “You have the hottest body I’ve ever fucking seen.”

“All the other girls you broke in on weren’t as hot, huh?” you asked.

“Not even close,” he said, pulling one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking generously. “Such an amazing set of tits.”

“Fuck…” you whined, one hand in his hair as he tugged your nipple in his teeth. You knew the cameraman was probably getting a pretty good shot with that; Eddie was skilled, he knew what he was doing and how to work a woman’s body. You were reacting to him, wetness pooling in your thong, and you spread your legs for him as you grabbed one of his hands. “I want you to touch me. Please, I need it.”

“So needy, princess,” he said, giving your other nipple the same treatment as the last. He drug the knife down, running it over your cunt as he smirked. “I’ll bet you’re soaking wet for me, aren’t you? You’re such a depraved fucking slut, you know that? Putting out for me like this, soaking that pretty thong for me.”

“Touch me the right way and find out, asshole,” you challenged, and you could feel him grinning against your breast. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” he said, smiling up at you as he started to kiss his way down your stomach. They weren’t gentle, tender kisses; they were needy, hard, bruising. You knew you’d have some marks there tomorrow. “Just that you think it’s so funny and cute to be calling me names right now, when I’ve got the upper hand.” 

“Who says you’ve got the upper hand?” you asked, and he slapped your thigh hard as you yelped. “You didn’t have to do that!”

“Shut up,” he snarled, kneeling in front of you and spreading your legs as wide as they would go. He peeled off your thong, and the cameraman moved behind him to get a shot of your pussy. “Fuck, look at that. So fucking pretty and so goddamn wet.”

“I can’t help it,” you said, shivering as he ran the knife over your bare cunt. “Daddy…”

“I’m going to make you fucking scream, baby,” he said, and he immediately began to devour you.

You had never been eaten out like that before, either off camera or on. The way his pierced tongue moved through your cunt, so skillful and hungry, had you moaning loudly. You usually had to fake your moans, or at the very least, over exaggerate them. Not now; right now, every single noise that fell from your lips was genuine. He was devouring you, his tongue flicking your clit with every drag upward, his hands gripping your thighs tight enough to leave more bruises. You reached down to grab his hair, and he moaned as you pulled it roughly. His piercing dragged through your saturated folds, slowly and teasingly, before he pressed it tightly against your clit. More wetness soaked his face, and his fingers soon joined the mix. The cameraman was getting some great shots, and Eddie began to fuck you roughly on his fingers while his mouth did its magic.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” you gasped, rutting against his face as you clenched around his fingers. “I need more.”

“More?” he asked, his free hand dragging the knife over your thigh. “How much more? I’m giving you all I can, you greedy whore.”

“I want more,” you insisted, your eyes nearly rolling back as he started sucking on your clit. “Please…”

“Is this what you want?” he asked, gathering some of your wetness on the fingers of his free hand and pushing a finger inside of your ass. “Huh?”

“Yes,” you gasped, looking down into his big brown eyes as he started to eat your pussy again. “Fuck, please…”

He took his fingers out of your cunt, instead focusing on your ass. He shook his head back & forth rapidly, growling, his eyes still trained on your face. You kept looking down at him, playing with your breasts as his tongue swirled your clit. You tugged your nipples, and soon he was slapping your hand away with his free one to take over. He squeezed it, massaging it, pinching the nipple as hard as he could. You cried out, and you could feel the familiar sensation in your lower stomach that indicated an orgasm was imminent. He kept going, lapping at your pussy as if his life depended on it, shaking his head occasionally, using his piercing to his advantage. He began to fuck you on his tongue as he fingered your ass, moaning as more of your taste flooded his tongue.

“So fucking good,” he mumbled, moaning as he reached down to jerk himself off. “I’m going to fucking cum just from eating your pussy.”

“I’d rather you cum inside of me,” you said. “I wanna feel that big dick in my tight, wet pussy right now. Wanna feel you pumping me full of cum, and feel how good you are inside of me. Please.”

“You’d rather cum around my dick?” he asked, raising a brow at you.

“Mmm hmm,” you said. “But you gotta put the mask back on.”

“Tired of my face already?” he teased, pulling his finger out and putting the mask back on. “Alright, have it your way. How do you want me to fuck you?”

“From behind,” you said.

“Just like a disgusting fucking whore, huh?” he asked, slapping your ass as you stood up. “I’m going to make you feel so fucking good, baby.”

“Then do it,” you said. “Stop talking about it and just do it already, asshole.”

He slapped your ass hard, leaving a large red handprint in his wake. You yelped but giggled, wiggling your ass toward him as he spanked it again. He held the knife to your throat, pulling you up by your head as his mouth found your ear. You could feel his giant cock throbbing against your ass, and knew he was close already. But if everything you heard about his reputation was true, you knew that didn’t mean anything. He could apparently hold off for quite awhile, even that close, and you were looking forward to having him inside of you. In fact, you needed it more than you ever needed anything. You were tired of doing films with men who had average or below average dicks; they didn’t do anything for you, and you always had to fake it. But with Eddie? You highly doubted you would have that problem.

“Keep calling me that and I’ll slit your fucking throat,” he said in your ear, pressing the hard plastic a little more firmly to your throat. “You’re in no position right now to be a fucking bitch.”

“I think I am,” you said, grinning smugly at him as you pushed back against his cock. “You’ve got me right where you want me, right? So, instead of making empty threats and being a douchebag, why don’t you just fuck me?”

He slapped your ass hard again, dragging the knife across your throat ever so gently. “You’re fucking lucky I think you’re so hot. Otherwise, I would be ending this right fucking now by cutting you wide open.”

“Fuck me already!” you said. “You’re–”

You were cut off by a loud moan as you felt him pushing inside of you. You cried out as his thick length stretched your pussy, and you could feel his piercing deep inside. He held onto your hips to anchor himself, bending you over the couch as he pushed himself deeper. You nearly screamed as you felt that piercing on your cervix, but it hurt so good. You reached down and squeezed his hand, and you could tell that he was trying hard not to break character to hold your hand. He had to know how it felt, and you could tell that he was holding back, even still. The director seemed not to notice, though; he just instructed his cameraman to get a shot of his cock buried deep inside of your pussy. He was almost fully inside, and it took you a minute to adjust to how it felt. Never had you been this full, never had anything felt so good, and you weren’t sure how long YOU would be able to last. He was moaning behind you, and you felt his dick twitch. That caused you to moan filthily, and you looked behind your shoulder into his masked face, a smirk on your own.

“What are you waiting for, Daddy?” you asked, biting your lip. “Fuck me.”

He started to thrust, keeping them slow and shallow at first. The cameraman looked up questioningly, and the director simply shrugged and instructed him to keep filming. You moaned, feeling that piercing against your cervix again with every movement inward. He kept hold of your hips, and soon, he was fucking you a little harder. You knew that he was making sure you were okay first, something that he seemingly didn’t do with any of his other costars. Maybe he found a soft spot for you, or maybe the rest of them were used to taking dicks his size. Either way, you thought the gesture of going off script was rather touching, and you looked back at him with a smile. You couldn’t tell if he was reciprocating, but the sharp thrust inside of you somehow told you that he was.

“You’re so fucking tight and wet,” he said, starting to absolutely DRILL you as you nearly screamed. “Listen to that, can you hear it?”

You could. As he fucked into you harder, you could hear just how wet you truly were for him. His fingers dug into your skin, his breath in your ear, and you just moaned as you clenched hard around him. That caused him to groan, and you smirked as you did it again. This brought another loud crack to your ass, and you yelped as the knife made another appearance at your throat.

“Stop doing that,” he growled. “You needy bitch.”

“Sorry,” you said, but did it again.

He stopped thrusting, putting the knife down to grab your throat with his hands. He choked you for a moment, chuckling darkly as you kept clenching around him. He began to move again but kept his grip, letting go only when you started clawing at his hands. He reached around to grope your breasts, rubbing the nipples as he absolutely pounded you against the couch. He was panting and groaning, the sounds filling the air as the cameraman got another shot of him fucking into you. You could feel your lower stomach tightening, but you weren’t ready for this to be over yet. Fuck, he felt so goddamn good; you never wanted it to end. You would have been content going on forever just like this, with him inside of you as you whined desperately. He knew you were getting desperate, too; he reached down, rubbing your clit in hard, fast circles as you cried out. You clenched again, his hands now on your shoulders as you braced against the couch. He drilled your needy, soaking cunt, each bump to your cervix causing you to moan even louder.

“Cum for me,” he said. “Show me just how much you fucking love what I’m doing to you. Show me what a greedy whore you are for my cock.”

You moaned, and were shocked to see that he was pulling out of you. The director was about to intervene, but Eddie was pushing you onto your back on the couch. He lifted your legs to his shoulders and pushed inside of you again, causing you to moan hotly as he filled you up again. The director stopped and instructed the cameraman to keep going, and you looked up into his masked face with a look of pleasure on yours. You arched under him, writhing, your hands finding his clothed back and digging your nails into the fabric. He pounded you hard, the new angle causing him to hit into your sweet spot. He didn’t use his entire cock this time; instead, he decided to get creative, and fucked directly into your G-spot. The feel of the piercing against it was so fucking good, and you tore at his dark shirt as he pounded against you.

“That’s it,” he cooed, the strokes of his cock remaining shallow and deep as your mouth fell slack. “Cum around my cock, princess.”

“Fuck,” you whined, your jaw still open as your head tipped back. “I’m gonna cum so hard, Daddy.”

“Cum for me,” he coaxed, his fingers rubbing hard circles on your clit again. “Do it for me. Show me how desperate you are to let some stranger fuck you like this.”

Tears began to leak out of your eyes. They weren’t bad; it was just so much, so overwhelming. You could tell that he was having doubts, so you sat up slightly to bury your face in his neck. He groaned, thrusting harder before pushing you back down. He pinned you to the couch, both of his large hands holding you down as he mercilessly pounded you. More tears leaked from your eyes, and he laughed wickedly under the mask.

“What’s wrong?” he taunted. “Is my dick too big for you, you disgusting slut? Can’t take it all?”

“No, i can,” you said, trying to get out of his grip. 

“Then take it and cum for me,” he coaxed, fucking you as hard as he could. “Go ahead, show me you can do it.”

It didn’t take much more for you to cum. A few more strokes of his cock, a few more swipes with his fingers, and that was it. You screamed in pleasure, and none of that was exaggerated or fake, either. You squirted around him twice, and the director was staring in awe as the cameraman caught everything. You kept arching, moaning, bucking up against him as he continued to pound into you. He was panting above you under the mask, moaning as you felt him twitch inside of you. He was fighting hard to keep going, but you knew he was going to lose that fight very soon. You reached down and took his knife, holding it up with a smirk.

“You wanna hold this to my throat again?” you asked. “Maybe that would get you off.”

He took it and did just that, holding it on your throat as he pounded you. You moaned, clenching around him, bucking your hips up against his thrusts to aid him. He looked down at your breasts, then back to where the knife was held to your throat, and you felt him twitch twice. You knew it was coming and, sure enough, it did a moment later. He came hard inside of you, moaning through it, his head bowed as he allowed his orgasm to take him over. He continued to thrust until it was done, stopping and nearly collapsing on top of you before pulling out. But he wasn’t finished, and you already knew what was coming because of the script. He pulled you to a sitting position and opened your legs, eyeing your dripping cunt as he rubbed the knife between both of his hands. 

“Look at that,” he said, running his fingers through your sensitive pussy before he knelt in front of you. “I made such a mess of you, didn’t I?”

“Mmm hmm,” you said, moaning as he lifted his mask. “What are you gonna do about it?”

“I think you know,” he said, dragging the knife over your thigh again before he started eating you out once more. “I’m nowhere close to being fucking done with you, you fucking slut. If you think that I am, then you’d better think again.”

“So much for scary movies, huh?” you asked, moaning as he began to devour your pussy even more desperately. 

“I think this is much better,” he said, eating you out more feverishly. “You know what we should try? You know, since you’re such a filthy girl.”

“What?” you asked, moaning as he fucked you on his tongue.

“Giving it to you up the ass,” he said. “I think that would be fun, don’t you agree?”

“And cut!” the director called.

You whined as Eddie broke away from you, standing up as he helped you. The director was coming onto the set to talk to the cameraman, both of them seemingly pleased with what they’d gotten. Eddie sat the mask and the knife down on the couch, grabbing a water as someone on set offered one. He handed it to you, and you accepted it with a big smile. You took a drink, and Eddie’s hand was on your shoulder in a comforting gesture. He pulled his pants back up and gestured for someone to bring over your clothes. You slipped them on once they did, and Eddie wrapped your jacket around your shoulders for you with a smile. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. “I mean, I didn’t hurt you or anything, did I? I tried to be as careful–”

“No, I’m okay,” you assured him. “Really. I just wasn’t used to someone that big.”

“A lot of the women aren’t,” he said with an apologetic grin. “I always ask them to let me go in slow and careful, but they never really let me. I guess they don’t want to shatter the illusion. It’s just…you were crying, and i was so scared that i was hurting you.”

“Well, I can promise you that I’m totally fine,” you said, taking another sip of the water. “Do you think we did well enough for them?”

“Oh, I think we did,” he said with a chuckle. 

“Something tells me they’ll be asking us to do another one together very soon,” you said. 

“In that case,” he said, smiling as he leaned closer to you and offered an arm. “How about I buy you dinner? I know I’ve worked up a hell of an appetite tonight.”

You grinned, taking his arm with a nod. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”

____________

taglist: @littledemondani @andvys @wroteclassicaly @succubusmunson @eddieschains @trashmouth-richie @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @reidsbtch @taintedcigs @happylilthought @sunkillerdreamer @battymunson @whore4romance @hallovoid @harrys-housewife14 @alovesongtheywrote @filthy-gorgeous @emmyshortcake @softgoodsstyles @deathlyweird 

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson smut #ghostface eddie munson #stranger things blurb #stranger things fic

[judithhhh]

better team (one-shot)

jude x gf! reader

summary : in which jude's gf is a fan of another football club and he gets jealous

you were sitting on the couch dressed in a psg jersey waiting for this week’s match to start. judes matches were often at the same time as psg’s so it was rare that you could actually watch them. you had been a fan of the french team since forever ; your dad was an even bigger fan than you and you had followed his steps naturally. too focused on the screen, you didn't notice jude walking downstairs.

‘’wearing another team’s jersey? what a betrayal really.’’

‘’shush, the match is gonna start’’

the man sat next to you, his arm around your shoulders. the whistle blew and the first half began with mbappe kicking off the ball. all of your attention was directly focused on the players, your eyes following the balls and exclamations coming out of you. you were really passionate about football, even more than jude sometimes, so it wasn't unusual him to see you yell at the players on the screen. your boyfriend found this quite funny when it was towards his team but seeing you so passionate about other players annoyed him.

‘’ mais putain, pass the fucking ball its not that hard’’ you yelled, already annoyed at psg’s incompetence

‘’they’re a shit team anyways…’’ said jude

‘’huh?’’

jude sighed when he realized you weren't even listening to him. he had no problem with you being a fan of another club but you were a little too passionate about it to his taste. he tried talking to you a few more times but gave up when you gave him no answers. he got up from the couch and went to your shared bedroom. he felt kind of stupid being mad about something like that, but sometimes his jealousy just got to him. the man stayed in the room, his eyebrows furrowing everytime he remembered the sight of you wearing mbappe’s jersey.

an hour and a half later, the match was over with psg winning 9-0. you were over the moon seeing your team win with such ease and was quick to get to your bedroom. seeing jude laying on his back on the bed, you jumped on him and sat on his lap before you started rambling about the game with excitement. you were talking about mbappe's header when jude interrupted you.

"well if he's so good, go date him" he mumbled annoyed

"huh, you jealous or something?" you responded jokingly, doubting that jude could be jealous over such a simple thing

"matter of fact, yes i am"

you burst out laughing before leaning down to kiss him. you frowned when he turned his head, allowing you to kiss his cheek only. you really thought that he was only joking but now you weren't really sure of that. you also knew that jude would continue to sulk until you comforted him.

"well maybe he's better at football than you"

"wow i see how it-"

"but you're sexier, and cuter, and taller, and more handsome and my boyfriend"

"if im all of that, why do u support him more than me"

you looked down at his annoyed face and burst out laughing.

"jude ive been supporting psg since im five, you can't just expect me to stop just because im dating you"

"im not expecting anything, just think you're too fan of this mbappe guy"

"he's the greatest player in the world right now, of course im fan of him" you said, knowing that it would annoy him even more

to your surprise, he just huffed before hugging you tight. his sad face was beggining to make you feel bad for him, even though you knew he wasn't really that mad about it.

"but you're the one i support the most"

"how come you're never as passionate when you watch my team then"

"that's not true and you know that. madrid is the team im rooting for the hardest."

"even if psg go against real in the champions league?" he asked

you were about to say no but stopped yourself when you saw the hope in his eyes. you sighed before telling him that yes, you would support real madrid even in that case. jude smiled and hugged you even tighter. you giggled when you felt his lips softly kissing your neck, signaling that he wasnt upset anymore.

"does that mean you'll throw away your psg’s jerseys?" he said hopefully

"baby i love you really but no, never"

"you're really breaking my heart right now" jude responded jokingly

you looked down at him, amused and pecked him all over his face. jude smiled widely, looking at you with those eyes that just made you fold. looking at him, you thought that maybe you loved psg a lot but you loved him even more.

a few months later, it was time for the final of the champions league. both psg and real madrid had won in the semi-finals meaning that you were about to see your childhood club and your boyfriend's club play against each other for the trophy. jude was nervous yes, but the boy could not wait to play them. he had been pestering you about "proving to you which team was better" for weeks now. you sat in the stands dressed in a real madrid's jersey, and was looking for jude on the pitch. spotting him training next to camavinga and vini, you smiled and sent him a kiss. he waved at you and pointed at the badge on his training kit, "reminding" you of the better team.

the match was intense, both team scoring two goals in the first half. you sensed jude's frustration from the pitch but you knew he was playing his best, he already had an assist to his name and his impact on the game had really helped his team to date. the first 30 minutes of the second half were goalless, both the teams were frustrated at this point and yellow cards were given to too many players. you were stressed seeing the clock reach the 80th minute until you saw vinicius intercept the ball and running towards psg’s goal. he made a quick pass to jude and the supporters expected him to continue running towards the goal. shocking everyone, your boyfriend went directly for the shot even though he was a good 40-50 yards away. the supporters in the stands and his teammates sighed, not even thinking that the ball would go in but it did. the ball was sent directly in the top right corner with such speed, you didn't even see it coming. you jumped from your seat and cheered loudly for jude, your love for the opposite team quickly forgotten. the boy ran towards the stands where you were sitting and did his usual celebration before pointing to you. you laughed seeing him mouth the words "who's better now?" and kissed the badge on your jersey. he smiled widely before turning around and celebrating with his teammates.

the rest of the game went on with as much intensity and a last goal from kroos. real had won the champions league yet again. you waited for the trophy ceremony to finish before going on the pitch to celebrate with your boyfriend. you waited, seeing jude doing a interview until he called you over to him. you were shy at first not wanting to appear directly in front of a camera, but the excitement from the victory gave you the courage to walk to him. as soon as you were close enough, he hugged you tight, lifting you up and kissing you. you giggled and congratulated him over and over again before he turned back towards the camera. seeing the little smirk that appeared on his face, you knew this man was about to say the cockiest shit ever.

"would you believe me if i told you this girl was all about psg a few months ago? look at her now huh" he said proudly

"nevermind, im putting on mbappe's jersey" you said faking annoyance

"don't you dare"

"watch me" you responded smiling

he lifted you up on his shoulder before smiling at the interviewer

"ignore her, she's going a bit crazy"

"JUDE PUT ME DOWN I SWEAR"

the footballer listened and put you down before wrapping his arm around you. you kissed his cheek and the two of you walked away from the cameras towards the pitch, ready to properly celebrate his win.

-------------------------------------------------

REAL DESTROYED BARCA TODAY HALA MADRID BARCA VOUS PUEZ LA MERDE 😛😛😛😛

#football #football imagine #jude bellingham #jude bellingham imagine #jude x reader #football x reader #jude bellingham x reader #hey jude :) #psg

[webslingingslasher]

just thinking of peter and trouble being married with their own house!!! ahhhhhhhhh can’t wait for the small moments with them

something as simple as a doctors appointment?

you mumble out a good morning when peter kisses your cheek, the repetitive hold music was about to drive you up a wall. all because they couldn’t find your old new documents.

‘who are you talking to?’ while he slightly blows on his mug, the coffee you poured for him still a little too hot.

‘doctor. they cancelled my appointment because im a ‘new patient.’ aka, they don’t know how marriage works.’

marriage, the term is still new enough it makes him smile. the gold on his left ring finger will slowly tarnish, but it will never leave.

‘no no, my last name changed. it’s under parker, now. p-a-r-k-e-r…. yes! that’s me.’ god, he’ll never tire of the reminder. you loved him so much you agreed to be with him forever, so much so you even decided to share a last name.

‘thank you very much, it’s still really exciting. okay, yes ma’am, at ten on the tenth, thank you again!’ you hang up and grin at your husband, ‘i swear, anyone will congratulate you on getting married. i’m starting to really enjoy the praise, like, hell yeah he put a ring on it!’

you look behind peter at the shared calendar on the fridge and jump from your seat to mark the time and date while it’s still fresh in your mind.

‘hey, do you think you could get the tenth off next month? they said i would need someone to drive me, but if you can’t i doubt may would have an issue with taking her new daughter in-‘

you’re spun around and in peter’s hold, waiting patiently for his answer, he skips what you asked. instead he’s giddy and running his hands all over any bits of showing skin.

‘thank you for marrying me.’

you look at him funny, ‘thank you for asking me.’ peter shakes his head, you don’t see it how he does and that’s okay with him. ‘i really love you, mrs. wife.’

‘i really love you, too. mr. husband.’ you lean up for a quick kiss and spin back for the calendar. ‘okay, so can you do the tenth or not?’

peter’s never been so in love before. ‘yeah. yeah, i can do the tenth.’

#frat!peter drabbles

[serendipityandbenevolence]

I gotta say, when I passed out last night after writing this post, I didn't expect to wake up to people actually liking it. but hey! thanks for the support. As per my little footnote (if you didn't read it then sucks to be you ig) the people who commented got first choice of which characters im going to write. love y'all by the way <3 which means that first up is... Dottore! (as requested by @amber-sekio and @gallantys)

(I am not playing rn when I say that I spent a large amount of time reading Dottore x reader fanfic so I could figure out how the hell to write him and this is probably still ooc but i did my best)

Contains - Yandere behavior (kept to a minimum though) dottore being a charming ray of a human (he mentions enslaving other countries), discussions of blood and injuries

"Dottore?"

The silence from the hallway was almost deafening. The sudden intense quiet was broken only by the gentle crackle of the fire, a welcome reprieve as your words hung in the air. Perhaps it was stupid, to call for a person who may not be there and who, of all the Harbingers, might be the most likely to still attempt to kill you. A foolish whim, but nearly dying does funny things to a person's rational.

Your door slid open silently, revealing the Doctor himself peering in at you. He did not appear to be wearing his mask, but with the low light and strands of blue hair covering his face, you couldn't make out his features well.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

Something was wrong. His voice was too soft, his words too gentle, the whole demeanor was wrong. You knew he had segments that acted differently, but you couldn't imagine Dottore ever being that kind sounding. But you were in too deep.

"Can you come in here, please? I need to ask you a question."

A few murmurs struck up behind him, but Dottore simply nodded and stepped into the room, turning his back to you as shut the door.

"You know..." he mused as he clicked the lock shut.

Ah, there it was. With the door closed, his voice changed, with that hint of cruelty and mania that you had come to associate with him lacing his words. His blood red eyes bored into you, a sly smile creeping across his face.

"Oh, what's with the expression? You seem a little scared of me, Divine One. Am I not as nice as you assumed?"

He didn't allow you to answer, pacing closer to where you lay, buried beneath the pile of blankets.

"There's really no need to be scared of me. After all, I was the one who nursed you so lovingly back to health when you were brought here out of the cold. Aren't I so generous?"

"You healed me?"

You didn't bother hiding your concern. You kicked off your pile of blankets and assessed your body, trying to see if any of your organs were missing.

"My my, do you have such little faith in me? I am a doctor after all. One of the best I'll have you know."

He leaned against the wall by your bedside, giving you a rather unnerving grin.

"Well, you have my undivided attention. What was it that you wanted to ask me?"

You were starting to think that it was a very bad idea to ask for Dottore, but you also suspected that saying you wanted to talk to someone else would go over even worse.

"Yes, I just...wanted to know what I missed while I was asleep. You know, with the other nations."

"Ahh, of course! Well, upon some reflection they seem to have come to the conclusion that you are the actual creator and not a 'fake' as they so cruelly labelled you. Needless to say, quite a few letters of apology have been sent begging for your forgiveness for their dreadful ignorance. Including-"

He reached over to you, laying a shockingly gentle hand upon your bandaged side.

"-the one who nearly killed you."

"You know who it is?" you asked in surprise.

"But of course! Simply assessing your wound, I could tell the weapon and the particular style of it, which made it rather easy to cross-referencing that with the time and location that you were attacked and deduce your attacker with little difficulty. "

"Really?"

He scoffed. "No, of course not. They mentioned in their letter that they were the one who harmed you."

Dottore stepped away from you, pacing towards the door as he pulled a crumpled note from his pocket and tossed it onto the end of your bed.

"You should read it sometime, it is truly a delightfully pathetic read. They only made one mistake."

"Mistake?"

He turned to look at you and you saw that all of the cruel humor that had covered his face was gone, replaced with an infinitely scarier coldness.

"They signed their name. So now, I know exactly who will be my next experiment, when we invade the other nations."

There was silence for a moment, before his features softened and he let out a soft laugh.

"You should sleep. It's the best medicine after all. We can discuss this more in the morning."

Dottore went to turn from you once more, but paused as you opened your mouth.

"Dottore, burn the letter. I don't want to read what they have to say."

A wicked grin flashed across his face as he snatched the letter back up and strode towards the fire.

"You know, I think-"

He tossed the letter into the embers and watched as it instantly caught alight.

"-that you and I will get along very, very well."

Dottore pulled the door open and gave you one last comment before leaving, not even turning his head.

"Sweet dreams, Your Grace."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That took me so long to write guys 😭 but anyway i hope you liked it! like i said earlier, i struggle a bit with dottore because he has all his different segments with different personalities but i think this turned out okay.

Also, the order for the next few harbingers will go as such

Tartaglia- requested by @gallantys and @followingyou247

Pierro - requested by @mistresssasori

Capitano - requested by @moonlite-drabbles @megsthings and @legendarysacrificer-blog (yall really love him clearly)

If you guys want to help me pick the order after that, go ahead in the comments!

also tagging @heizoubeloved in this because you mentioned wanting to see more!

#yandere genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin sagau #dottore x reader #fatui x reader #fatui harbingers

[stxrmylxve]

Hi!

One of your big fans here.

I love your writing style 💜

May I ask what would be your take for TR guys confessions? Like they would know they are in love and come to terms with it and they would decide to confess to their s/o.

Thank you for considering my request :)

aww baby hi!! im so glad you like my stuff <33 ofc i can! i live for these confessions :)

Mikey:

wouldn’t ever come to terms with it

he thinks he just likes your company

its draken that has to tell him

once he gets it through his head, he blushes every time he sees you

bro is a tomato when he sees you though-

has no clue how to confess

like.. at all

”y/n i like you.”

that’s it, that’s all you get

you can’t help but giggle as he stands there confused

”is that good?” he asks draken as the man shakes his head

”sure mikey, sure.”

Draken:

much more mature so he immediately recognized his feelings

has a hard time confessing though

constant thoughts flood his mind

is that cheesy? do you want gifts? will it be awkward?

so worried over nothing

buys big flowers and all, dresses up, looks handsome and all

and you simply say “you kno, i dont need all these gifts”

he stands there in awe as you give him a small peck with a giggle

you take the flowers and hold your hand out, taking his into yours as you both walk together

he wasn’t leading this anymore, it was all you

Mitsuya:

the ultimate package

mature enough to realize he has feelings AND knows how to confess

it helps having sisters i guess

abnormally calm around you

internally he is freaking out, don’t lie

”y/n.” he says, breaking you out of your studying trance as you looked up

before you could even answer, he pushes the hair away from your eyes with a soft smile

”i like you. i’ve liked you for a while. would you be interested in going on a date with me?”

you’re done. nope.

fall over red as he peers over at you with a laugh

he’s just so.. AHH dreamy

Chifuyu:

okay so here’s the funny thing

you fell for him first

you hid it though, worried he would not like you as a friend and you hated to loose the great friendship you had with him and baji

but when he formed a liking?

ho ho ho that was a game changer

he was a whole nother person around you

“baji.. is he okay?” you asked

“y/n are you an idiot? he likes you” baji says with a desdpanned look

”baji-san! i wanted to tell them!”

Baji:

he’s like a cat

if he likes you, expect him all over you

not in a nsfw way LOL

He just loves you sm

loves affection too omg

the best cuddles 24/7

buys you little gifts

he never actually confessed himself lol

it was just so natural and then it just like… happened

one minute he had his face tucked into your tummy the next you two were kissing

but he got you so it’s a win-win

Hanma:

“kisaki~ where is y/n?” hanma asks as he leans back in his chair

”in her office-“

”alright cya later”

loves visiting you

always comes in, whether you’re talking with someone or not, with a goofy smile

”baby!” he comes in, completely ignoring the other co-worker as he slung his lanky arms around you

”hanma, someone is in here right now. can you give me a few minutes? just sit on the couch over there please”

he sits there with a pout on his face as he glares daggers into the back of the other persons’s skull

once they leave, he is all over you again

places a few kisses on your neck, temple, all over your face as you laugh

”you know, people might think that we’re a couple, hanma”

”then let’s be one.”

Izana:

has no good understanding about true love

kakucho has to quiz him in order to get to the bottom of his feelings for him

”izana, you like them.”

”what?? no way, i just think of them as a cute friend.”

”there’s no such think, you like them.”

”no!”

”yes, you do.”

awkward from that point on with you

”everything alright izana?”

you were met with silence as you paused the massage on his shoulders, allowing him to fall back into your chest

”kaku says i like you. but i just think you’re cute… is that the same thing?”

you give him a soft smile and place a small peck on his nose as you nod

”yes, it’s the same thing silly”

Takemichi:

“i- well- i guess. do I? Chifuyu… do i?!”

full on panics

what if you dont like him back?

what if you think he is a crybaby?

what if you think of him only as a friend?

what if…

”takemichi, it’s fine. I can set you up, just give her the note and run!” chifuyu says with a devious smile as takemichi gulps

in the end, he fails, forgets the note, and end up stammering over his words like a child

”i.. uhm.. y/n..”

forgets his words completely

”takemichi, look at me and say it.” you say softly

he meets your warm gaze, suddenly gaining all the confidence he needed

”y/n i like you!” he says with a unnecessary bow

“stand up silly, no need to be so formal.”

Shinichiro:

total daddy

ANYWAYS

knows what he’s doing

he’s sadly done this before with other people, all of which either cheated on him or left him alone and hurt

he thinks you’re just… different

you give the vibe that no matter what, even if it needed to be ended, you would be hurt too

”uhm.. y/n can we talk?” he says, alerting you as you turned around to meet his shy gaze

”what’s up?” you ask, setting down your things

“what would you do, theoretically, if i said i liked you..?” he says fidgeting with his fingers

“is that a confession?” you challenge with a smile

”depends” he says, joining your smile with a grin of his own

“then i would say yes, theoretically of course.”

#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x you #tokyorev draken #tokyorev baji #tokyorev hanma #tokyo rev mikey #sano mikey manjiro #tokyo revengers mikey #mikey #mikey sano #draken #ken ryuguji #sano manjirou #tokyo revengers manjiro sano #manjiro sano #manjirou x reader #baji x y/n #toman baji #baji keisuke #tokyo rev chifuyu #chifuyu fluff #tokyo revengers chifuyu #chifuyu x reader #mitsuya tokrev #takashi mitsuya #mitsuya x y/n #mitsuya x you #tokyo revengers mitsuya #tokyo revengers hanma #tr hanma

[hueberryshortcake]

"And if you ever get a war without blood and gore / I'll be the first to go"; An Exploration of Draft-Dodging Activity in DuckTales Characters

Abstract

Obviously we're all asking ourselves this question: Would Scrooge McDuck be a draft dodger? I endeavor to answer this question to its furthest extent, and to expand upon these implications and the potential actions of his comrades were they in danger of being drafted.

Some notes:

It is past my bedtime and this is probably significantly less funny than I think it is but I'm a history major who knows slightly more about this topic and the "duckverse" as it were than I probably should; additionally, I am using this as an opportunity to pretend that I'm not supposed to be reading Descartes right now. god i love my life

listen to Draft Dodger Rag by Phil Ochs for the full experience. I too have a wracked up back, am allergic to flowers and bugs, get epileptic fits when the bombshell hits, and am addicted to a thousand drugs.

if I get canceled for this at least I'm going out with a bang

I said ducktales in the title as an attention grabber but I'm not working exclusively with dt17 characterization or context. I'll probably use what I know best which is the shows and a smattering of American comics

im american obviously

"what war are they drafting for" idk maybe it's peacetime maybe It's a wwii scenario maybe [elroy patashnik voice] It's Vietnam Baby! maybe I'm making shit up idk use your imagination don't think about this too hard or take it too seriously [<- guy who spent 3+ hours writing + read an essay about Thomas Hobbes to put this together]

Scrooge McDuck

Okay so. Obviously he is technically elderly and also has bad eyesight so like he wouldn't have to. Let's ignore these factors because it's way more fun.

For at least half his life Scrooge has the funds to discreetly buy his way out of military service. However, it is a well-distinguished trait of his that he refuses to use his wealth as a ladder to success. Given this, it is easy to conclude that he would use his hardworking grit or whatever and con his way out of the draft the good old fashioned way. He could fall back on any existing or faked conditions but I'd prefer to think he'd end up doing something round-about and ridiculous because it would be way funnier.

Additionally:

if my meaning is caught here.

Conclusion:

dodger

Goldie o'Gilt

Any and every iteration of Goldie can and will dodge the draft by any means necessary. The more dastardly, the more fun it will be for her. She will bribe an official. She will seduce an official. She will claim conscientious objector status despite having little-to-no qualms about violence [citation needed]. Barks' Goldie will be so so so sad and pitiful and say think of the orphans. 1987 Goldie will shoot any government official who tries to come collect her. 2017 Goldie will do whatever is most entertaining to her at any given time.

[Footnote: Maybe she's Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. idk]

Conclusion:

wholehearted dodger

Bentina Beakley

(Within 2017 context) this question is difficult for me to answer. Yes she is old. No she is not physically unfit. No she is not huge on deception. Yes she loves rules. No she probably is not excited about the government or the military. Yes she is, it you will excuse my being so blunt, a girlboss.

My conclusion?

I know she's an elderly British woman but Bentina Beakley IS Captain America

Conclusion:

Not a dodger

Huey, Dewey, and Louie

In the time of Vietnam my grandparents may or may not have snuck drugs to someone so that when the government went to do their medical examination this person was having wacked up symptoms and they were presumed to be unfit for service. Barks' triplets especially would be doing this sort of thing all over the place (see "Gladstone Returns" (1948)). The 1987 triplets could be convinced to act similarly.

The 2017 triplets may also do this, but it would inevitably play out differently, as former incarnations of HDL have generally relied on them as a unit to interact with other characters and plot elements, while the 2017 boys' strength is largely in their interpersonal dynamics; as such, there would be significantly more push-and-pull between the three of them narrative-wise. I could theorize further but I don't really feel like it.

Suffice it to say: No but only because they're perpetually twelve.

[Footnote: the Quack Pack (1996) triplets are more likely to be in the running for the draft (they're old enough to drive by the time the show takes place, so they're likely 16 or 17. The US conscription cutoff was lowered to 18 in 1942. They had better be damn careful). As Huey explained his plans to get out of military service, Louie would say, "Do you guys ever think that by conning our government we're breaking the social contract we've created with our sovereign authority and actually betrayed the self-preservation we're claiming to protect, much like Thomas Hobbes outlined in his 1651 novel Leviathan?" at which Huey and Dewey would look at each other and then say "what's your point" and that would be that. For the purposes of this exercise you may exclude them from your rankings now.]

Conclusion:

Not dodgers but only by technicality

Gyro Gearloose

Much like Leon Theremin Gyro would be pulled from a gulag and forced to create devices to aid the USSR cause.

[Footnote: if i remember correctly the USSR killed all the scientists and or put them in gulags and then got confused when they didn't have any scientists to help them against the US in the cold war. lmao.]

[Secondary footnote: Yes that was the guy who invented The theremin. he also invented a listening device that was hidden in the white house]

[Tertiary footnote: Gulag kermit]

Conclusion:

Not a dodger but mainly on threat of death

Flintheart Glomgold

yeah

Conclusion:

Dodger

Gladstone Gander

Gladstone would dodge the draft if he had to but his luck would result in his lottery never being pulled and/or the government losing his profile. Donald would be so fucking mad.

Conclusion:

fuck I ran out of space for pictures. I'm doing some of these out of order [dodgeball.jpg]

Dodger but on a technicality

Fethry Duck

Fethry is perpetually a college student and also (points to beatnik archetype) probably stoned out of his mind at all times. I claim the "addicted to a thousand drugs" clause.

Conclusion:

dodgeball.jpg

Dodger but not maliciously

Launchpad McQuack

I haven't watched Gomer Pyle since I was like 10 and I remember almost nothing from it but I feel like that would be his experience

Conclusion:

rosie.jpg

Not a dodger

Webbigail Vanderquack

she is 12 years old

Conclusion:

rosie.jpg

Not a dodger

Donald Duck

I'm saving my favorites for last. I know you've all been waiting for them. here are the Duck twins

2017 Donald I'm gonna be real I'm not really sure. 1987 Donald joins the military on purpose. Quack Pack Donald would really really really not want to and would probably try to dodge in the saddest most cowardly ways possible (I support him). he could and would fake an injury, any of those old cartoon-esque tricks. I feel Barks Donald may fall into this category as well.

Donald is Schrödinger's serviceman; he both is and is not a part of the military at any given time. Like the gods of old, his mythos transcends the limits of many labels and characteristics. He would love to serve his country; he hates doing things for other people and being told what to do. He feels a sense of duty; he is beholden to no one but his hammock.

[Footnote: Here the author would encourage the reader to ponder the wonders of homosexuality in the American Navy of yore. Okay cool moving on]

Conclusion:

man idk

Della Duck

Della would have no qualms about resisting the draft. Drawing on the Phil Ochs song for inspiration, possible methods include:

being 18

(pretending to have) bad eyesight

flat feet (all ducks have flat feet....)

asthma

getting a boyfriend

poor old invalid aunt (read: claiming to be caretaker for scrooge, who is soooo old and frail and can't be left alone, come on guys)

college student

working in a defense plant

allergic to flowers and bugs

addicted to a thousand drugs

Additionally,

Straight up just not showing up when conscripted

Claiming to be homosexual (she doesn't have to be lying)

Convincing the medical examiner that she's hysterical

Bribery I guess but it's kind of tactless

Becoming pregnant with triplets

HOWEVER.

and I have considered this extensively.

her ass would join the air force. like for funsies. now to be honest this is like a really really really bad idea in war time because if you've ever looked at the statistics (I have) "As Donald L. Miller writes In *Masters of the Air*: "By the end of the war, the Eighth Air Force would have more fatal casualties—26,000—than the entire United States Marine Corps. Seventy-seven percent of the Americans who flew against the Reich before D-Day would wind up as casualties.""

like. not a great choice

[Footnote: at this point my thought process is almost entirely centered around the 40s]

As a result I feel that Della may let herself get involved in the war effort in some capacity (ie nursing (she would hate this), working in a factory (she would hate this), being a test pilot like the WASPs (she would love this but everyone would hate her bc she's reckless and insane), or being an air force pilot if able. she would do this to be sooooo bisexual

generally speaking I feel the second that she was put into active combat or got bored she would desert immediately

Conclusion:

cupcakeinthemiddleofabarrenwasteland.jpg

Deserter!

In closing,

I spent three hours compiling this and I have more thoughts that I could have added but left out for the sake of brevity (ie thoughts on Daisy and the USO)

I'm sorry that I think draft dodging is funny it runs in my family idk

war is bad

not a huge fan of the draft either

big fan of Phil Ochs though. my mom makes me perform that song when we have guests over

scrooge mcduck says don't trust the government. or do I'm not your boss

this concept got out of hand so quickly. so quickly.

I hope this post is not a cancelable offense but if I go down for speaking the truth I'll do it with my head held high

I am going to go eat microwave ramen [it is midnight and I have to leave at 8:30 so I'm really cutting it close here]

#this is my magnum opus. my manifesto. my 95 theses. my magna carta. my leviathan. my howl's moving castle. my magic tree house. #this is insanely long. #ducktales #dt17 #ducktales 2017 #della duck #scrooge mcduck #donald duck #duckverse #disney ducks #hueberry shortcake #duck comics #quack pack

[sadevergreen]

as a camp counselor (technically not currently bc i went home for Illness) and homestuck fan (also technically not currently bc I'm too busy being a camp counselor) i love camp skaia. which homestuck characters are most likely to be the "we're ALL sick there's no reason you can't do the hike up the hill" (has mild cold and vague heatsickness at worst) counselor x "actual lung infection but thinks it's a really normal cold" (very easily gaslit) counselor program group pair? i feel like eridan and kanaya are hot contenders here

ooo ok this is so good- apologies for the ever loving hell that you are about to see but i sought assistance from my dear dear pale friend @marv3l-drag0ns !!!!!!!! MUAH PLATONICALLLY <> ILY they were a huge help in putting this together

BOY DO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON THIS, THIS WAS EXTREMELY FUN :D

so let’s begin: my immediate instinct was kanaya and tavros are the most easily gaslit, or adhere most to given direction (we’re not going to talk about HIM). but then who to pair them with? they are both wet cats that won’t work. we decided that YES kanaya and eridan definitely make sense! but in which role? it may seem obvious but NO! eridan too sick? whiny fussy pitiful sopping kitty he’s just a beanbag full of milk! so we decided barely sick eridan, otherwise he’d be throwing a fit. instead he’s referring to his Superior Genes! and kanaya is. strugglin. but fuck man here we are 🤷‍♂️

But we’re not done yet!

the next we considered was karkat and terezi!! especially aided through the lens of karkat’s old crush on terezi; he’s too whipped and in denial to deny a girl a hand!

this led to possibly the funniest thing ever: THE INNER KANKRI THAT EVERYONE HAS AND HE SITS ON YOUR SHOULDER AND REMINDS YOU TO BE DECENT AND LEAVE ROOM FOR KANKRI

for the bigger drawings i capped it off with a good ol favorite of mine; erifef. why did i like them? man idek anymore but it worked really well with the idea of eridan being the sicker one, but being ok such thin ice over his constant whining that he just has to go along with it we just though it was funny hehe. it can be viewed through any lens! snippy or non, s’all good here! it’s all canon.

what is he was sick and he couldn’t whine 🥺 what is he was sick and he wasn’t allowed even a snivle about it 🥺 not a snort 🥺 or a sob 🥺 he’s so pathetic !!!! besides, he can’t be out paced by some fuckin kids!!!! HES A GROWN ADULT 16-18 Y/O CAMP COUNSELOR GODDAMNIT!!

MARVEL: “Feferi: ah yes your sickness you have a functioning immune system and are the most dramatic guy on planet earth (only one of those statements is true)” which statement? :) yeah

she doesn’t believe him anymore <333

Ok and that is it for full line art doodles, but!!! i couldn’t resist drawing some more pairs we pondered

ERIDAN AND KARKAT: omfg so good!! but they would 100% either both be tooooo sick and dead, or they would both be mostly fine

VRISKA AND TAVROS: no. and you know why we’re not doing this one :,( we all instantly knew this one would be here but we are choosing to ignore it im favor of…

TAVROS AND KARKAT: Marvel proposed it and it was very interesting!! i think similar to eridan and karkat, where they’re both dead or both barely sick. no i’m between. aggressive yet positive motivation (?) for the win!!! they further proposed that karkat “eats dirt for a living and doesn’t get sick very often”

Overall this was really fun to put together and answer, and i had a blast getting to colab with a mutual along the way :3 so thank you anon and thank you marvel!! this does bring me to something i’ve been meaning to say,,.,,,

@marv3l-drag0ns ,,? we’ve been friends forever, you know my dogs middle name, we complete each other in a way no one else can! you stop me from eating bones i find on the road, and i stop you from ascending to godtier to avoid going to exams…,…

would you be my

Moirail? <>

anyways! that’s all for now <3 this was so fun :) please send in more asks/ requests like this if you ever think of any more! i definitely feel for the camp counselor piece cause that was me earlier this summer PFF and all the counselors got sick and passed something around (but hey! it was an excuse to sit away from 7 y/olds for a few minutes while i got tea for my sore throat)

#art with jeddie #colab #mutual #moirails #homestuck #homestuck fanart #camp skaia au #eridan ampora #kanaya maryam #tavros nitram #vriska serket #feferi peixes #karkat vantas #kankri vantas #my art #erifef #erikar #erikan #tavris #tavkat #ok i think that’s everything?? #humanstuck #brain ghost kankri?? #oh and eridan was going to say we’re both miserable #i realize that was very confusing now #asks with jeddie

[xblackreader]

An Interview with My OTP: Attoye

Attuma | Okoye

Q1: Who’s the big spoon?

I am.

He is lying. When we sit on the couch, He loves to lay on my chest and have his hair petted like a baby.

But often, while we lay together in bed, your back is to my chest.

But where are we usually when we cuddle?

… on the couch.

Q2: WHO is the better cook?

I love my warriors cooking, but the way I cook is much easier.

They didn’t ask who’s the easiest cook, thick skull. I am the better cook, you should see how he licks his fingers after I made him seconds and thirds.

I change my answer, I like her mothers cooking the most.

…

Q3: WHO is more sentimental/affectionate? Romance wise?

Attuma is. But I’m catching up with him these days, when he came home, I had dinner ready for him and gave him a shoulder rub and told him how much I love him and he turned into goo.

They need not know all details of our relationship.

Says the blunt oversharer.

I was simply asking advice on the best way to ensure your pleasure is mind numbing each and everytime.

YOU ASKED KU’KUL’KAN FOR TIPS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

Q4: WHO apologizes first?

I feel like we both do.

Then you feel wrong. It is always me.

…

Someone had to be the bigger person. She’s very stubborn.

I’m NOT.

if it was up to you, we would still be in a fight from last month.

You ass!

Q5: What’s one way your personalities compliment each other?

I’m very comfortable in a position of chase. Because of Okoye’s past experiences, she has trouble trusting others and frequently pushes them away. I have no problem standing firm and persevering her even when she rejects me.

I don’t reject you anymore… I love you.

I know my love. I knew before you did.

He would come to my house and bring me gifts and things, even when I’d insult him. I don’t know why I did that…

It’s because you’re a brat. And I am shameless in spoiling you further.

Im not a brat!? Wtf?

Q6: What are your respective love languages?

Gift giving and Words of Affirmation.

Quality time and words of affirmation.

(Smiles)

What?

Remember when I first kissed you?

…yes. I remember.

You punched me and then sat in my lap crying.

I hate you.

Q7: Who’s the funnier one?

Attuma is so funny to me, but he’s never funny on purpose.

When I tell jokes on purpose, she hates them.

They suck.

We’re not comedians. Our humor is dry.

Sarcasm is comedy. We cater to ourselves and we think we’re funny.

We are not, I’ve learned.

No, others don’t think so.

Q8: Who’s more likely to get jealous?

I am.

He is. I get jealous, sometimes but honestly he’ll shut down anyone before I can. But he gets jealous irrationally.

I’ve accepted this. I’m a jealous person.

He used to think everyone who looked at me wanted my heart.

It only makes sense. If I wasn’t your lover, I would probably kill whoever was.

…

That’s why I stay alert at all times. I do not want to lose my position.

Q9: How do you feel about PDA?

He would take me in front of all of Wakanda if I let him.

Yes. But I know her boundaries and would never risk hurting her feelings or reputation.

Q10: WHO wants kids? how many if any?

…I am prepared to love Okoye through whatever. Children are not a factor of importance in our love.

…

You can say the truth I won’t be mad.

I want ten of my own children. Gender does not matter as long as I may raise them up to one day surpass me.

TEN?!???

Let me know if you all want to ask specific characters from my stories questions? Or if you’d like I can do this again with your questions!! :P

#black women #x black reader #attuma x okoye #okoye x attuma #black panther #marvel #black panther wakanda forever #attoye #maybe I’ll do this again if you all like it #this was fun and cute #otp dialogue #otp ship #attoye prompt #attoye brain rot #okoye x attuma fanfiction #attuma #attuma of talokan #mcu okoye #okoye

[thefourchimes]

Can you tell me more about the Four Chimes AU?

What paths did you originally have planned for Robin? I wanna see how close my own ideas are lol :D :D :D

And tell us more about the Chimes themselves please? Like what are they like? What kind of abilities do they have? I may need some ideas for a fight scene... hehe

so. four chimes au my beloved. the reason why my url name is the way it is, even when im an encanto centered blog AHSFUIAHSF but yeah, here we go then! also, finn mentioned you can send him asks too, he would love to answer you about this as well yeye

anywho, lore dump time! made with a tag team between me and finn

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Can you tell me more about the Four Chimes AU?

the four chimes verse is essentially an amalgamation of my want—need—for badass max, max angst, elumax angst, just general party and co angst, apocalypse four shenanigans, several unexplored character interactions and dynamics, the four horsemen of the apocalypse concept, and everything else that comes with this plus things i wasnt able to mention its very self indulgent ngl

but yes, it's about the apocalypse four (max, patrick, fred, and chrissy) and how they get turned into the upside down four horsemen of the apocalypse aka the four chimes of catastrophe by vecna, and they become his way of furthering chaos and destruction in hawkins, while also using them to get rid of his thorns aka the party and co

nobody's having a fun time lol

i've already got a lot of it planned out, i just need to write it lmao asufhaishdf

its funny because this all started when finn sent an ask to his friend about how the four victims of vecna are paralleled to the four horsemen of the apocalypse

on top of me already thinking about this, i saw the ask and pretty much ran with it

also, here's a bonus just for you! the following are the arc names of the og four chimes au (and technically still the general arc names regardless of the sub aus, tho ofc with some differences here and there):

pre-shattering

during catastrophe - the four chimes

during catastrophe - contact to familiarity

during catastrophe - jailbreak

during catastrophe - void dark

during catastrophe - escape the dark

during catastrophe - resonance

during catastrophe - the end

post-apocalypse

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What paths did you originally have planned for Robin? I wanna see how close my own ideas are lol :D :D :D

so robin is very feral yes AHSIFUHASf

im pretty sure i explained it a bit before but robin got hit by an arrow that was meant for nancy in the ciquest au, and because of nancy, she's able to find the will to fight back against the infection instead of succumbing to it, making it her own

One and the chimes sees how she's evolving and don't like it, so lence's suggestion of getting nancy takes priority, and so it happens

nance becomes quest and now the battle is on

robin is obviously devastated and the gang is slightly in shambles because of how much nancy brings to the table, and now she's gone—no, worse, she's being used for the other side

so robin steps up to the plate in multiple ways, trying her best to fill the void nancy was forced to leave behind

the burden on her is so heavy considering she got a power she technically never expected to have nor wanted, but now it's on her to make the most use of it

she usually questions why it was her who was in this situation and literally not anybody else who she thinks could definitely do better

lots of questions and wondering for her

now, unlike with renegade, she doesn't lose herself technically, but she gets close, like a lot

though should i mention that there was a little kidnapping that happened? the person who was kidnapped in question being someone who is very important to robin and may have caused a some strain and conflict for her and the chimes?

yeah, the chimes kidnapped steve to lure robin to them so that they can take her down

it was conquest's idea :)

robin was very much not happy about that btw

lots of things happen and as said, robin was very much close to losing it so many times but she doesn't for a couple of reasons

renegade is a completely new take and direction of ciquest and just four chimes in general, and im so interested in seeing where it goes, so very interested <333

i feel like im not able to tell robin's full story here, both because we want to keep some things hidden and also because my brain is kinda not working rn AHSFUHASF mb on that one

but yeah, that's generally it, tho if you got more questions, feel free to send an ask to either me or finn, and if we remember something in particular, we'll make sure to mention it

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And tell us more about the Chimes themselves please? Like what are they like? What kind of abilities do they have? I may need some ideas for a fight scene… hehe

here's the longest part because...lore dump yes

the chimes our beloveds <33

so the chimes. in our 68600 messages (as of the moment) of a four chimes dump, we've built up the characters and personalities of the chimes, and somewhere in this thread is the scattered information on them

now, i unfortunately dont have the time and patience to go through the thread to find all of the little information, but we'll do our best to give a good rundown of their characters

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

here you go with the characters and personalities first:

famine

wields throwing knives

very loyal to One (meaning he gaslit her so much for that loyalty to come to be, a consequence of being his first chime)

wants to be the leader because she thinks (and is gaslit to think) that she deserves it (One really likes to cause discord between his chimes)

having no prior connection to the main gang—or thorns as they call the gang—besides eddie who is dead and a spectre here, so she's the one who has the least moments of "remembering their past life" before

is very brutal and ruthless and likely the one the gang got the most injuries from in a general sense

death

wields a large scythe

my secret blorb

most likely to actually defy One, and fun fact, he has an au called the runaway au where he, a chime in the middle of the battle between the upside down and right side up, got to run and escape from One before certain things happened, which then causes a chain reaction in this au ofc

he's a coward, and this plays a lot into his actions and interactions

technically had a connection with nancy in the gang, but with conquest here, it gets harder for him to connect, but robin actually steps up to the plate here

war

wields a sword

is the most balanced out of everyone when looking at his loyalty and his defiance to One, in the middle of the pack in that sense

his past life of abuse shows up a lot when it comes to One, so he tends to throw others under the bus to not get caught in the crossfire (not that he wants to do this, but he also doesnt want to gain One's ire)

just generally very chill, the most chill out of every one here

is the medic of the team because of how he's the personification of war

has a connection with lucas in the gang, so that's something that gets him to "remember" some stuff in a way

pestilence

wields bow and arrows

finn and mine's blorb

leader in og, former leader in ciquest/conquest

if you can only see the rambles we have on her…it will take days to get through

will take the bullet for the other chimes when it comes to One's ire

vec has a tighter hold on her because she's max

literally connected with everyone, will have a lot of moments where she feels familiarity (and will subsequently get punished for it later)

second most gaslit by One in a way, which is big oof

conquest

wields a sawed-off shotgun

the leader in ciquest/conquest aus

very protective of all the chimes and especially lence

vec also has tighter hold on her because she's nancy

last one to fall, was suggested by lence to be taken

more aware of things than the other chimes, but still completely controlled by One

same case as lence, but even more so considering she's been there since the start of it all (does her best to take most of lence's punishments as her own when One goes after them)

gets very hyperfocused with robin (vaguely aware the thorn makes her weak in some sense but quest doesn't care), but is frustrated she cant hurt her too much because lence will get hurt too (and maybe another reason deep down, but she doesnt acknowledge it)

all of them

they're all dog coded

One can summon them/call them whenever and its shown through the shivering cold in their necks, like what happens with will

One wants them to be just the way he wants them, meaning the way they died and got transformed into chimes must be how they are no matter what (this includes clothes, hair, weapons, and everything in general)

the only new addition he accepts them to have are new scars :')

the chimes have such a complicated relationship, but at the end of the day, post-vec, they love each other

note for them individually: there's a lot more that i want to add but my brain is blanking a little and i am probably forgetting some things, but here are some of the important things to note (remember this is incomplete to everything we wanna add ASFHUIASFh)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

some relationship notes (by pairs, groups are another story)

min clashes with death when it comes to lence, but otherwise are fine with each other, neutral in general but are connected as the first two chimes of One

min and war are not quite friends, more distant than friends but closer than allies… (very interesting when you note how they were in their Before)

has a very one-sided antagonistic rivalry with lence, especially when it comes to the leadership position (this changes a bit when quest is in play as she's the leader, but there's still the rivalry with lence despite not being leader in ciquest/conquest), will be very callous in a way with her, but they actually work well together, especially as the similar twin concepts of famine and pestilence

quest is able to take min's bitterness mostly in a stride and keeps her in check from being too antagonistic when it comes to leadership roles and just generally (helps because quest understands them in a way, though she doesnt understand why she does)

death and war are more or less chill with each other, most cordial relationship out of every single chime relationship and the least tension filled, just vibing so real (though war knows death is a coward and death knows that war knows it)

death and lence are surprisingly close, only second to quest for lence (and death too technically, which is inspired by their Before), this relationship is due to the fact that in canon, max got to see and technically interact with chrissy, patrick, and nancy, but never with fred, so we saw it and ran with it and now they're close here

death and quest are more or less okay with each other, and their Before helped them understand each other better, unlike the other chimes' Before affecting their relationships in another way

war and lence are complicated, since war throws lence under the bus the most (especially in og) to avoid One's ire, and lence understands why, because of her own Before (and it doesnt help that she takes bullets for the other chimes), but they're both fine more or less

war and quest are similar to min and lence with the similar concepts, war and conquest, fire and lava, war follows quest to the T (just like he does with lence in og but more so here with quest), and they work well together because of their similar concepts

lence and quest are the closest out of everyone, helped by their Before and their instincts with each other, confides with each other a lot and are just helping each other no matter what, tho ofc this comes with the consequence of One seeing this "weakness" of theirs and using this bond between them to punish them when he sees fit

although here's a note about this too: finn said "honestly tho their relationships r So complicated its hard to capture in a few sentences", and i agree, what you just read is just some general thoughts on their relationships, but god is there so much more to them all, and if we want to really show you the relationships in full, we would have to ramble it all out ASHUFIUASHF but yeah

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

here you go with their abilities:

famine

knife throwing, very fast and precise

the fastest of the chimes

can cripple the energy and power of a person

takes down the food supply and wilts crops

can take the energy and vitality of a being and/or object

death

scythe proficiency

is the slowest of the chimes

everything related to death

teleportation through the shadows

summon bone beings

forming shadow tendrils kinda

exudes the ambiance of the end of life, striking a deep sense of fear

war

fireeeee

flame sword, very proficient with swords

second fastest of the chimes

use the molotovs and flamethrowers against the gang because fire for real

hot skin, literally

can cause a sense of crisis and rage in those near

lence

causes sickness (through arrows) and disorientation of people (through aura exuded)

poison arrows

has a balisong (one she had as max—this is an hc we have) and uses it as an extra weapon

second slowest of the chimes

infect people to insanity or to do her bidding

also wilts flowers and plants in general

aura vision (she's blind because of her interrupted transformation due to el but she can see the sort of "auras" of beings, especially the upside down ones)

quest

gun proficient (obviously)

very precise shots

her gun can either fire in a scattered way like a shotgun or only one bullet at a time, it depends on quest herself

lava (we were thinking mix of fire and earth for conquest, hence lava)

also hot skin, literally

in the middle of the fast and slow spectrum

can summon different types of guns, smaller guns takes less energy for her actually, but One doesn't like that so she doesn't do it much, if at all

all

sort of intangibility (only works when they're full on chime mindset, if their anchor selves start waking up and breaching the surface, they become vulnerable and the intangibility doesnt work)

connected to One's power

summoning their weapons

connected to their hounds (their horses)

faster healing

technically immortality (as long as One is around)

and bonus!

robin

connected to lence, draws power from her

trying to infect her even more causes robin to grow stronger and lence to grow weaker (this is important to note heheheh)

means she's a bit more feral though (she gets close to losing herself but doesnt fully)

becomes more durable and stronger and the best at dealing with the chimes in the long run

also faster healing

another note: i am very sure i forgot some things so yeah, assume this list is incomplete AHSFIUHASF but thats what we can remember off the top of our heads

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

anywho, yeah! that's pretty much a lore dump and a half, except i also know its not complete and there's still so much more we want to say but are unable to mention it for several reasons

but maybe those are asks for another day (wink wink, go check out @lumaxramblings' askbox too yesyes)

thank you for the ask! and i hope this helped with the renegade au yesyes <33

see ya around

#the four chimes au #four chimes au #ciquest au #renegade au #ronance #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #fc conquest #max mayfield #fc pestilence #patrick mckinney #fc war #fred benson #fc death #chrissy cunningham #fc famine #four chimes #vecna four #apocalypse four #i have no idea how to tag this #HASFUIHASF but yeah #here you gooooo #to all my encanto mutuals and followers: this is the one st au i can never be without #so yeah you'll see it every now and then lmfao #anyway thanksss

[olderthannetfic]

Re: https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/738859016693874688/why-do-some-popular-things-have-such-small & the person who replied to it in Another ask about Slay The Princess --

This answer was a facinating read as someone currently in the James Cameron's Avatar fan space -- i was only 8/9 when the first movie came out, and wasnt very into fandom Yet, but around the early 2010's when i Did get into it and went looking, there was almost Nothing to be found (and the few that Did exist were either short character studies written by some of the smartest people on the planet or troll fics), less than a 1,000 Total in the media tag on ao3 iirc?? And i remember feeling Fine with that, for the exact readon you both mentioned -- the first Avatar is a very well rounded film, no matter what everyone cares to say about it. It was Written to be a stand alone film, and bc JC is good at what he does, that Worked, and there truly wasnt much to write fic about besides Extreme au shenanigans or a few theoretic between-scenes, you know the type.

Then the second movie came out Last year and then the Game came out THIS and the fandom has just. Exploded. It's almost funny because so many of the younger fans, who were in it for x readering with the Sully kids, keep complaining about how "the fandom is dying 😭😭" in the tags the past few months and i just have to stare at it like pal just because we're not still shooting metaphorical fireworks about how much we loved the sequel and game doesnt mean we've all Moved On 😩 Im still Diligently mpregging the resurrected villain in my new longform crack fic thats probably going to be finished around the time the 5th movie comes out. Wee child you must Power through with us. Increase Your Fandom Stamina 💪😎🏃‍♂️!!!

But yeah it's just been Extremely interesting seeing how drastically things have changed, going from that completed, hard-to-write Wholeness from how compact the first film was vs the Flood of worldbuilding and lore and new characters we've been given (and have yet to Get, there may be some evil f/f fics beyond the horizon...) and how much the Sequel has contributed in the process of making Avatar easier to enjoy Casually, rather than as a "stereotypical", "extreme" strawman'd Avatar fan of yor (our elders who i respect most vehemently, for their help in understanding and writing the Na'vi conlang in all our fics 💪❤).

Even though the canon movies have a lot of problems, ive been luckiy enough to see the Fandom do what its always done best -- ive met wonderful people and Incredible artists while the life experience + background knowledge who can flesh out the areas of the concept that JamCam has yet to delve into, for whatever reasons he claims to have, and ive And others have felt moved enough by it all to start writing our Own incredibly self indulgent and sincere stories, within the same framework! Bc good lord it really is a sandbox. The moment you start diving into all the Implications of Avatar's universe, how the RDA is run, how Eywa works, etc etc etc.... jesus. ive lost so many hours of sleep reading real academic papers on Actual xenobiology (yes its a real thing, it both is And isnt what you think it is) for these movies, its nuts.

So some days like Now i just have to sit here like. Wow. We built this house And made it a home. and its Awesome. these asks made me want to gush about it 🥰 thats all! tysm!! Love this blog SO much, keep up the great work n have an awesome day everyone!!!

--

[ask-derrickman]

Rain saw my colleagues doing this and would not let up until I did as well, I'm already starting to regret it...

ooc: [Inbox is currently open]

[More info under the read more yes]

--- --- --- --- ---

(YEAAHG ASK BLOG TIME seeing all the ttcc manager blogs around lately slowly pushed me into trying it out myself since I hadn't seen one with my beloved boy yet, taskline manager enjoyers rise up)

(And of course now for the obligatory forewards and rules I gotta bring up:

- Not technically a 100% canon-compliant Derrick Man (well... as much as you even can with him), the one on this blog is actually based on a still nameless AU I've thrown together, he's not very drastically changed as a person though hes still grumpy and boring and full of oil but its enough to mention probably (he may mention things in passing sometimes too if the topic comes up)

- On the topic of that too, shipping between William and Rain and William and Chip will probably come up occasionally, im normal im normal guys im normal

- Headcanons galore, well- I mean as is a given for a character with so little official content to be fair, i don't wanna ruin the fun by listing everything though (also because we'd be here all day)

- This blog claims no direct affiliation with any other character's askblogs, or any other blogs in general for that matter aside from my main, all characters depicted in my doodles as well are my own spins on them and unrelated to any other askblogs too (please feel free to keep sending me jokes from other askblogs though like the spayed bellringer thing i think its funny as fuck) ((this is not to discourage anyone elses blogs from interacting though I'm just noting this so its at their own discretion))

- Please behave in the inbox, I will not answer any asks that are very blatantly explicit or anything, this blog is technically being run by a minor keep in mind, also this is a toontown blog so like... idk what you're expecting from me to begin with dude

- Speaking of me, feel free to bully William i love that but I'd appreciate if you... try to go easy on the me behind this, im the only person running this blog and im disabled with a busy irl life so updates will be slow, I'm just having some fun with my blorpos here

- Not every ask is going to have a drawing alongside it too by the way, I dont quite have the stamina for that, and sometimes the inspiration doesn't strike, my apologies

That should be all unless i think of something else to add here, YEHEA! go crazy sorry that this is so long by the way thats my bad)

#not an ask #toontown corporate clash #derrick man #william boar #ooc: (I'm insanely nervous about this for some reason already my apologies holy cannoli this has unironically taken me 3 hours to post)

[panelshowsource]

this was my first time seeing tim and also getting a chance to say a brief hello! (though, i’m not particularly keen on meeting celebs or comedians and rarely take the opportunity, tim just seemed so approachable and that "this really could be my only chance ever" feeling hit hard, so i did it!; that said, i am incredibly disappointed having missed richard osman's book signing last month, but now i’m digressing…) he seemed so, so chuffed at the show being sold out and people being so happy to see him, it made my heart happy 🥹 and, yes, totally polite! (and quite hairy?) i said this before, but one of the best things about nyc shows is watching artists brim with pride — nyc brings out the 15-year-old dreamer in them that they used to be, you can see the "holy shit i really did it" in their eyes... never gets old!!

(this is a follow-up to a question about which 3 comedians i’d want to have dinner with!)

i think people would typically approach this question one of two ways: you want to meet the people you really, really love no matter what or you want to meet the people you really, really want to know more about. those two things can overlap, but sometimes a person you adore has already shared so much, written so many books, created so much, done so many interviews and answered so many questions that you might feel it's a greater privilege to see behind the door of a fiercely private person instead, if forced to choose. stephen fry and simon amstell are great examples of people i've loved so long, respect so much, find endlessly funny and interesting and inspiring — but they've been so generous with their lives and thoughts that there are other comedians & writers i'd never know 1/100th as well even after a three-hour dinner and their undivided attention, and i may selfishly, desperately want to. i say "may" because i don't really blame anyone who would prefer to live in ignorance about their favourite comedians & writers and just enjoy them through their work. sometimes i think that's how i feel about victoria; she's so witty and so smart and represents so much of what i respect about women in her industry that i love her to bits, but because her opinions can be so strong and even acerbic i'm intimidated by the reality that we may clash in some of our ways of thinking — and, selfishly, i don't necessarily want to face that. anyways—

if we were having dinner all of us together, i think it'd be nice to pick 3 people who are friends and would have a lot to talk about amongst themselves — since i'd mostly be there as a voyeur, or to ask a question to spurn on more stories. there are also comedians i'd pick in this scenario because they'd do much better amongst their own kind than a one on one with a normie...

do you ever regret asking me these kinds of questions bc my answers are always so long and qualified and boring like i type this shit out thinking "who would ever read all this or care even half as much just list the fucking comedians" im so sorry for who i am

...like, really, someone like alex horne...he'll be much better in a group, with his friends to play off of...but fock he's kinda hard to fit in with my other faves...

OKAY

i think for a group dinner i'd enjoy so much seeing catherine tate, lee mack, and david tennant. how epic would be that? the oldest of friends, who used to be in a group on the circuit as kids, and the long-time colleagues and icons, who have ruled tv culture with their talent and their charisma; three open, warm people, all legends in their own rights, with endless stories, who may not otherwise show lower-key sides of themselves. i'd sit at that table forever, i think, learning about the comedy scene, the acting scene, television and movies, how the industry circles have overlapped and evolved and helped and hurt. i could sit at that table forever, i think.

as for one on one dinners, it's too difficult not to say david mitchell (is that so predictable ╥﹏╥ ), who is someone who feels close but far; i think — apart from his love of history — he's offered many more scratched surfaces than deep dives, and i deeply appreciate the spectrum of his career and interests. i couldn't keep him too long because i don't think he appreciates going on and on about himself, and i'm sure i couldn't be too interesting, but man what an experience that would be no matter if it was just a short tea! otherwise, i would say sean lock and...as a kind of wild card...richard osman. i think a lot of people will relate to sean, just wanting to see him again, just wanting a moment of his humanity, his great balance between accepting the harsh and coping what we can. richard is a strikingly fascinating person — the younger brother of a famous rockstar and a massive comedy nerd who went on to become one of the richest comedy tv producers and now a crime author? talk about containing multitudes. he's been around for so long but really hasn't given much of himself away — i'm so curious about his life! and he seems such a polite, gentle, intelligent, insightful person, i think the conversation would just be so enlightening!

as you can imagine i have about 15 other people i'd be dying dying dying to have dinner with but i stuck with the prompt!!! sorry i was so word vomit about it >.<

the thing is julian has 0% dad energy — what he has is INTENSE rich childfree aunt energy. she’s gonna come around for dinner once in a while and wear that fake smile around the kids that makes it very obvious she’s not into them but is happy for you and talk about her recent trip to paris and after about two hours she has to leave 1) to go to the theatre but mostly 2) for her own sanity. as for lucy and sam, i saw an amazing exchange (i think on tiktok?? idr) discussing the quite serious difference at the foundations of james acaster’s and sam campbell’s comedy, since they’re being often erroneously compared, and someone made a point that went more or less like this: “the basis of james’ comedy is the fact he is a deeply angry, self-loathing and mentally ill person. sam is just a toddler who has had way too many lollipops.” and…that’s it. older sister lucy and younger brother sam have had too many lollies — you can even find some in their hair 🍭🍭

well you know what i watched an episode of pointless where THIS FUCKING CLUE got 86!!!!!!!!!! 14 people didn’t get sheep!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so frankly i don’t trust this audience anyways!!!!

hahaha no i just threw it together for that ask post that’s why it’s so sloppy 😂 you can use it if you want!

BONK

aw anon that's so nice! like i said, someone else made that action and i would love to know who (well, i know their name is ana, but have never found their blog in all these years) — the whole community is built on sharing resources and tips! hope you're having fun :')

get out of here!!! these were so sweet. thank you so much. to echo my answer to the anon before these, it's a huge community effort and the people who rip this content are my heroes. i'm happy you have some resources to help you smile and laugh 🥹

—

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

#a

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube

[malleleothreesome]

You may've read it already but I'm here to drop a Fellow fic that I found very funny just in case you haven't read it 🤝

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51778684

- Yes, that one Fellow anon again !

OH MY GOD FELLOW HONEST THIGH RIDING ANON IS THAT YOU

before anyone reads this please just know i had a very long work day and im absolutely delusional

No one has any context to who you are to me because I haven't posted any of your asks (cause I was saving your original one to like, reply to with my fic response that I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED) so really I've only been communicating with you telepathically (in my heart) and through tags and other peoples asks.

You may be an anon but u are like in my top 4 best friends for life

it goes @wysteriadelights, @masquerade-of-misery, @triforce-holder and then @fellow-honest-thigh-riding-anon, like I just know we would be besties. I do in fact imagine u as an ominous gray being with black ray bans sunglasses and somehow that makes me want to be your friend more.

Please accept my artistic rendition of you

When u saw my weirdly desperate pleas to you and u responded with this ask, the sheer elation I felt when I saw the sacred words "Fellow Honest thigh riding anon" in my ask box would rival that of a 1950’s housewife whose husband just returned unscathed from the war

Okay I'm gonna be honest here bestie Fellow Honest thigh riding anon LISTEN I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MENTION IT but I haven't touched the thigh riding WIP in WEEKS DAIUHSDIUASDH I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.........im kind of overwhelmed cause I got so many Fellow requests in my ask box that I am eager to fulfill on top of like yours and Stage Sex part 2. I mean, its a good sort of overwhelmed because I am very excited to write for him but now I have A LOT OF THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD AT ALL TIMES. EVERYTHING WILL BE COMPLETED EVENTUALLY... 🥲

OKAY NOW TO LIKE ACTUALLY ANSWER YOUR ASK LMFAOOO

I HAD NOT READ THIS, SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THINKING OF ME AND SENDING IT OVER! LISTEN THIS FIC IS SO GOOD IM DYING????? Like this actually changed the trajectory of my life..... first of all, as a redditor of 10+ years... this format truly touched my chronically online heart. And as a writer and a CODER... to KNOW THAT I CAN POST ON AO3 IN ANY FORMAT??? Oh... I am going to wreak havoc. Y'all aren't ready for the deranged fic templates I'm about to come up with.

dasohidhASIdh THEY FUCKED IN THE GUEST BATHROOM??? please I need even MORE details, Cater was so real for that.

FELLOW IS JUST SO PERFECT FOR THIS SCENARIO UGH OP IS A GENIUS

THE LINE ABOUT GIDEL BEING A MEAN DRUNK AND DRIVING FELLOW HOME AFTERWARDS IM—

#‧͙+ ̊*・༓☾ Erica Answers ☽༓・* ̊+‧͙ #to everyone who sent me an ask thats not a request and i havent answered it yet its because it takes me like an hour to answer each ask #and i want to give all asks my undivided attention u knooowww #i mean realistically it doesnt NEED to take me an hour to answer each ask but 🤡 thats just who i am i guess

[kvvzss]

ONLY YOU.

chris.s x oblivious reader

backstory: chris has had a crush on y/n for years and years now ; but the reader takes it as him just being nice to her , but one day the reader asks him and his triplet brothers to do the blind , deaf , and mute challenge on her channel.

warnings: none , just fluff and cursing , and use of y/n.

୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧ ୨୧

‘ chris, do you have any idea what we’re even making today ‘ y/n asked in serious concern while nick put on the bandana as a blindfold for chris.

‘ shut the fuck up , y/n i’ll figure it out at one point ! ‘ chris replied, earning a slap to his arm from nick.

‘ stop messing with her ! ‘ nick said as he hit chris for yelling.

‘ i wasn’t messing with her ‘ chris said, shrugging.

y/n then got both of her headphones and connected them to her phone and played her playlist, putting them on nicks ears and turned the volume all the way up.

then chris tied another bandana on her mouth so she’s mute and deaf, he kept smiling at her knowing she can’t even hear him anymore, which made it ten times more funny.

‘ I LOVE THIS SONG ’ nick yelled at her dancing with her, holding both of her hands in his and hopping around the kitchen as matt put his bandana on his mouth , making him be mute.

so , they were supposedly attempting to make wings, but obviously they couldn’t even coat the wings with seasoning

‘ OKAY!!! SO FIIIRRSTT WE HAVE TO PUT FLOUR AND THEN BUT SEASONING INNNSIIIDDEE THE FLOUR AND STIRRR !! ‘. nick yelled as y/n and matt scrambled through y/n’s cabinets to find the correct seasoning, matt pulled out some random seasoning and shook it around asking y/n if they can use it to help season the wings. and then y/n started to shake her head as fast as she could and her and nicks favorite song of all time came on making her dance with him.

‘ are you fuckers dancing again ? i hear footsteps and i’m trying to stir this shitty fucking flour. ‘ chris complained scrambling around since he couldn’t see.

‘ WHATTT ? ‘ nick yelled, earning a sigh from chris as he was in distress on how to make these wings, but sooner of later figured it out with the help of y/n.

ྀིྀི - later on ; chris ended the video for her , then took off his bandana off of matt and took it back up to his room; then practically begging y/n to sleep in his room.

‘ please y/n , you haven’t been sleeping in my room lately, please ?? ‘ chris begged, standing in his doorframe, hoping she will say yes.

‘ and why should I sleep in there ? ‘ y/n asked, crossing her arms across her chest and staring him directly into his eyes.

‘ uh- i just want you to, okay ? please? ‘ chris kept begging, finally getting the answer he wanted.

‘ fine, just this one time. ‘ y/n said, going into his room and almost immediately getting hit by chris, he always did that when she would sleep in his room.

‘ now chris, you better not hit me again. ‘ she said, swatting him on his arm.

‘ im not im not , damn. ‘ he said,picking her up and placing her down on his bed as he turned on a movie for background noise; for most of the night all they did was fight.

they both sat cris cross in front of each other, Chris had a look on his face as if he was itching to tell her something,but he finally built up the courage to tell her.

‘ y/n, i kinda have something to tell you , promise you won’t freak out ? ‘ chris said, holding out his pinkie finger

‘ promise. ‘ she replied to him, interlocking their pinkies, making a pinkie promise.

‘ i may or may not well- kinda have a huge crush on you. ‘ chris confessed, his face looked like his blood ran cold until y/n smiled at him as warm as day.

‘ chris, why would you think i’d freak out ? you’re not so bad, i mean in my eyes your perfect.

‘ i guess this is the big question; will you be my girlfriend, y/n? ‘ chris asked, his heart beating faster and faster by every word that came out of his mouth.

‘ yes!! of course i will , chris. ‘ she replied, smiling at him with that same warm smile he loved with all his heart.

a/n : started this in the morning , and finished it in the same day i am rlly cooking here chat ; and plsssplssplss give me suggestions 😞 im practically struggling here, but a nick fanfic is on the way yall 🙏🙏 trust

#nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #chris fluff #christopher #fluff #nicolas sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #idk how to tag this #idk what im doing #idk what to tag this as

[noonbeam17]

INTRO POST NUMBER TWO !!!!!!

well now that weve hit 100 followers [thank you very much viral post that was just me vagueposting about my oc story] i should actually bother to remake this post, something that ive been putting off for a while now </3

HIIIII im noonbeam/noon but you can call me ev ^_^ i am just a weird little vocathing who goes by every pronoun under the sun i literally do not care :3 you probably know me from the soil composition diagram of flesh machine and divinity

hmm lets start this off with: MY HYPERFIXATIONS in order from most to least crazy insane about them levels

MY OCS [a whole section about them later], NUCLEAR BUBBLE WRAP [also ties in with ocs], VOCALOID, EVERHOOD, hatchetfield/starkid, wandersong

tag guide :3

#noonbeam rambles - just me talking

#noonbeam thinks theyre funny - just me talking but in a shitposty way

#noonbeam draws shit - my funny little arts

#noonbeam answers - asks :3

#noonbeam banging out the tunes - i make music too !! this will go under that tag.

check out me unvale and me artfight !!! :3

i also have a toyhouse but im basically like never active on it so </3

ALRIGHT COOL THATS OUT OF THE WAY. letters of recommendation from friends + oc ramblings under the cut

THE DRAWING BOARD JUMPSCARE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is my main ocverse :3 theres these four guys in a band. they have been chosen by the goddess oda to save the universe. they travel across the universe to defeat the cacophonous six [the supposed bad guys] and have many, many, MANY missteps along the way. like oh my lord their journey goes wrong in so so many ways. anyway you should totes ask me about tdb im so normal about tdb

NUBARA, TENNESSEE !?!?!?!? WAOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this may seem longer than the other one but half of it is just me being silly. this ocverse is very new. as in like. 4 days old as of writing this. nubara is a fictional city in tennessee where everyone and everything in it is based off at least one song by nuclear bubble wrap :3 i dont really have an overarching story or that many characters rn i just have some bits and bobs. "noonbeam," you may say, "a city named after the first syllables of each word in an artist/band on needlejuice records, with the people living in it based off of at least one song by said artist/band, and most of the people's names being wordplay on the main song they're based off of? that sounds familiar..." AND YOU WOULD BE CORRECT. @autisticzaphodbeeblebrox you did this to me. /silly

[yes this is why aub's letter of recommendation is that he did the despicable me thing to me. it was the one who introduced me to nbw]

anyway youve made it this far. have sharktopus [heads up for cartoon gore]

#TAG DIRECTORY YAAAAYYYYY #noonbeam rambles #noonbeam thinks theyre funny #noonbeam draws shit #noonbeam answers #noonbeam banging out the tunes #the drawing board #Youtube

[cerealmonster15]

you know i gotta ask about azul/jamil for the do you ship it asks ;P

im glad everyone knows loud and clearly what im about over here LOL. obvi yes the answer is i do in fact ship it:

What made you ship it? this one actually gets a fun unique answer bc i believe what actually got me thinking about jamiazu was this one vid on youtube my friend and i watched, bc back in the early days of 2020 there wasnt a lot of fan content and my friend that i got into twst and i were watching vids we found on discord together. we found this one and it had us like "...oh hey wait a minute theres something here huh🤨

i think we hadnt even read jamils lab story yet and im not sure if we'd gotten to book 4 by then? if we had, it was only the first time so we were still early on trying to remember all the info overload and who everyone was [we got into it when halloween 1 was running / book 5 was like halfway started]. initially our big azul ship was idia/azul LOL [i still like them too, but jamiazu def took over the brain space klfdslfe]

bonus this vid is similar and also good but i saw that one much later lol. "a random octopus who's probably gay" is a phrase that lives in my brain forever

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

they are so fucking funny. im a silly little jester first and a person second. i love when characters piss each other off. i love that azul is shamelessly super annoying about his pursuit of jamil, trying on SEVERAL DIFFERENT INSTANCES to get jamil to join his dorm and/or work at mostro lounge/team up with azul in general. and jamil is so blunt like "no wtf i hate you" and azuls literally like "hehe :)" i like when jamil teases and bullies him and he either gets defensive or teases and bullies back bc this is bully school for bullies after all sdkjlfdsj

but behind the clown mask i wear is also emotions and feelings.... i do like that they are both overblot victims that tbh do i think have some core personality traits in common. jamil may hate it but i think to a degree azul DOES actually understand him pretty well. they absolutely have different backgrounds and lives buti think theres a lot they could bond over and they could also be evil little freaks together if jamil would Agree To It [which he wont LOL]

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

oh shit uhhh i'm actually not sure on this one!! i dont actually talk much directly to ppl in the fandom and i read fic kinda sporadically and sparingly so 🤔HMMM idk based on the fanart/memes/fics i have read i feel like i align fine w/most of what i see. if i suddenly remember something in the middle of the night ill reblog and be sure to Make My Opinion Known LOL

[SEND ME A SHIP]

#asks #cosmiccoincidence #kirexa