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poppurini · 1 year

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zip up the jacket, it’s cold

leona & f!reader, reader depicted as shorter than him

oh my god leona. leona? bro leona. have u seen leona? YOOO leona. dude leona. leona leona leona.

“You did really well just now, Leona!” and the man couldn’t help but silently swoon at the obvious admiration and adoration for him in your eyes. For him, and him alone. The captain of NRC’s spelldrive team breathes out a chuckle. “Just really well?”

Halting your steps, you did a sharp turn to face him. “And you looked really cool!” Obviously singing corny praises but does he care at the moment? Obviously not. Mhm, that’s what he wanted to hear from his herbivore. He gave you a hum of satisfaction that prompted a cheeky smile from your own lips as well before you started marching towards the stalls again, talking about the trending snacks Cater recommended you to try.

Your little journey was interrupted when a hand much larger than yours engulf your own and gently pulled you backwards, the little stumble making you press into his chest, all of that combined to make you let out an awkward, surprised sound as you try your best to stand back tall.

It is a fairly new relationship, after all. Skinship isn’t an exactly common interaction between you two yet. You are also in the arms of the man you thought was pointless to try and get attention from just a few months ago. I’d say it’s a valid reaction to feel like the bones from your legs disappeared.

“Haha yeah, uh, what is it?” Feigning composure, you laughed awkwardly at your boyfriend—wow, boyfriend. You didn’t think you’d ever have a chance to call him that—making the corner of his lips quirk up in amusement. “Aren’t you cold?” a murmur while he busies himself with adjusting the oversized item on you. It’s his sport jacket that he put on you just minutes ago because apparently his little girlfriend thought she could handle the cold as winter approaches. “It’s warmer when ya zip it up.”

Dragging out a whine representing your dismay, you raised your arms up and shook the flappy sleeves too long for you. “It’s cuter like this.” He guess it is cute, watching you do a little twirl in his clothing.

“Cute, but ’m not gonna babysit a sick Y/N.” With that said, Leona made you stand still and attached the end of the zipper together, pulling it up all the way to the top, enough to cover your lips. Somehow you have a feeling you looked like a penguin. “Cuter like this.”

You have no arguments. No resolve in you to fight back nor unzip the jacket. All you managed to do was look up at him stunned and flustered. You may try to hide it, but you’re gulping and averting your gaze after a few seconds and feeling hot at the damage he has done. Felt like your feelings for him is just slowly increasing by the minute.

While you’re still wallowing in euphoria, Leona has already turned you back on track by the shoulders before one hand slid down to your waist, rubbing them slowly with his thumb while pulling you closer and you wanted to scream right there and then due to the intimacy. All your thoughts and feelings unorganised resulting in mindless babbles and fake coughs. “We- yes, I- right. That way.”

Unsurprisingly, Leona wanted more from you. So, like the bastard he is, he leaned down close enough to murmur in your ear. “Hm? Didn’t quite catch ya.” He lets out a hearty laugh at your small flinch before— hey, oi, you’re fainting!?

#leona kingscholar x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #leona kingscholar #twisted wonderland #female reader

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hyacinthsdiamonds · 1 year

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Not liking a driver does not give you a free pass to bodyshame them, or to wish literal death and severe harm on them, or to be racist and/or xenophobic towards them. Not liking a team doesn't give you a right to do the above to those afflicted with the team either, or to be misogynistic towards the women involved with those teams. Not liking which team or driver someone supports, does not give you a right to do any of the above.

The drivers and the teams may never see the hate you spill but wait. We all know that they do;

Nicolas Latifi got such severe death threats he had to hire security

I'm not touching on the disgusting racist abuse faced by many of the drivers because there has been far too much to easily unpack but I do want to note that it got so bad last year that Alex for instance got such severe abuse last year his fans had to tell his family to go offline for a few days (not to forget the people who made up conspiracies about him and used his mother's past as a means to justify the abuse they were directing towards him).

I'll never forgot the amount of sexist hate directed at Hannah Schmitz, one of the few and one of the most recognizable women in the paddock who has lead red bulls strategy department the last couple of years, - because apparently women in motorsport are only valid if they're not under the red bull umbrella - which got so bad multiple of the drivers called it out publicly.

The multiple conspiracies created about and general racial discrimination faced by Yuki and Zhou which was and continues to be encouraged and spread by primarily the English speaking journalists and commentators

Let's not forget the sexist chants sung about Sophie Kumpen; Max's mother at Monza, or the literal death threats that were sent to his sister and young nephews.

The way some of you talk about Michael Schumacher, I don't have the words. The ski jokes has not once in the last decade been funny.

I could go on and on. I could literally do this all day.

Sure the drivers might never see it but that doesn't mean nobody will and we all see how conditional any form of your allyship is. "Racism is wrong unless it's about x, sexism is wrong unless it's about y, death threats are wrong unless it's about z, etc". Do better. You cannot claim the moral high ground, if you do any of the above, no matter how much higher you perceive yourself to be than the person you're directing the above towards.

As for death wishes or crash wishes, cop yourselves on to fuck. I would never wish what I've been through, what my family has been through, on my worst enemy, let alone some driver I'll probably never even meet. F1 is nowadays a safe enough sport but that has not always been the case and there is still no 100% guarantee of completely safety. The risk is still there even with all the advancements in safety. So many drivers have lost their lives or have had their lives altered forever as a result of a crash. Some of the drivers on the current grid are directly impacted or know those whose lives have been lost or altered because of a crash. Nearly everyone on that grid has a story. Some of you have their photos as your icons as you wish literal death and injury on their coworkers, their friends. They would be beyond disgusted by you. I can name far too many drivers who lost their lives in this sport, it shouldn't take naming them to make people realize that wishing for some to die like they did is a disgusting act. If it were to come true, would you celebrate? Would you cheer as the red flag came out? I don't think I want to know the answer, considering some of the things I've seen in the main tags over the last couple of years (see that one person who wanted to violently and literally stab and kill a driver or see that disgusting poll about which way would be best to literally kill another driver).

Don't start with but x did this or y fans did that, if they jumped off a cliff, would you? Why are you so eager to lower yourself to what you feel are their low standards or morals? And I don't blame a driver for the actions of someone who calls themselves a fan while doing anything that I've mentioned in this post, because they're not fans, they're people who use the driver they claim to back as a shield and as an excuse for their appalling behavior.

Also, if you have to say "I don't like driver x but I agree nobody deserves this type of abuse", get rid of everything before the but. You don't have to like someone to offer them basic respect or human decency.

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doumadono · 7 months

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Emergency request

Lately, I've come to the realization that I'm expecting my first child. Regrettably, my boyfriend's reaction hasn't matched my excitement. In fact, it's safe to say he's quite upset with me. He told me I should have been more cautious because he hadn't considered starting a family just yet ☹️

Could I perhaps ask for a scenario where Bakugo reacts to this news initially with resistance, creating an angsty atmosphere, but then gradually comes to understand that he'll do everything to protect both you and the child growing inside you, providing a comforting and reassuring twist to the situation?

A/N: hello, dear Anonnie. I deeply appreciate your trust in me for this request. I've endeavored to craft a narrative that balances the angst and sweetness, and I sincerely hope you find the final result enjoyable. I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing right now. Remember that your excitement about becoming a parent is valid and beautiful. While it may take time for your boyfriend to come around, focus on taking care of yourself and your growing baby ♥ You've got this! If you ever want to discuss it further or need advice, feel free to reach out to me.

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Bakugo's apartment was frequenly a battleground, whether it was due to his relentless training or the fiery arguments that often ensued between the two of you. Tonight, however, was different. It started with a subtle yet significant change in your demeanor, one that Bakugo couldn't ignore.

As you nervously shifted on a couch, Bakugo sensed something was amiss. His sharp crimson eyes narrowed, and his voice carried a hint of irritation. "What's eating you, nerd?" he grumbled, clearly not in the mood for any drama.

You hesitated for a moment, fidgeting with your fingers, your heart pounding in your chest. This wasn't how you'd planned to break the news, but there was no turning back now. "Katsuki, I… I have something to tell you."

His patience was running thin as he snapped, "Quit beating around the damn bush and spit it out, dumbass!"

Taking a deep breath, you finally blurted out, "I'm pregnant."

The silence that followed was deafening. Bakugo's crimson eyes widened, and his normally fierce expression contorted into one of shock and disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me," he chuckled darkly, his voice a dangerous whisper.

Your heart sank as his reaction played out exactly as you'd feared. His anger was palpable, his fury radiating off of him in waves.

"How could you be so careless?" he roared, his palms igniting with sparks of explosions. "I never signed up for this!"

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. "I wasn't careless, Katsuki! You should have been more cautious, that's the fact! I didn't plan for this either."

He stormed away from you, pacing back and forth in his living room. "This is a fucking disaster," he muttered, raking his fingers through his unruly ash blond hair. "I can't believe you've put me in this situation. You're a fucking idiot! Attention whore!"

You watched him, your heart breaking with every second that passed. You knew Bakugo was stubborn, fiercely independent, and had never considered settling down, let alone becoming a father. This wasn't the joyful reaction you had hoped for, and it stung. You hadn't expected him to be overjoyed, but you had hoped for some understanding. Tears rolled down your cheeks, your chin quivered.

Days turned into weeks, and the angsty atmosphere in your shared home didn't dissipate. Bakugo's initial reaction still hung between you like a dark cloud, making it difficult to find common ground. But as time passed, you noticed small changes in his behavior.

He started accompanying you to doctor's appointments, though he grumbled about them every time. He began asking questions about the baby's development, and you could sense a growing curiosity in him. It was as if he was reluctantly accepting the reality of the situation.

One evening, as you sat in your small room in silence, Bakugo cleared his throat awkwardly, peeking inside. "You know, I've been thinking, nerd," he began, his tone noticeably softer than before. "Maybe I reacted like a total idiot back then."

Your heart skipped a beat at the unexpected admission. "Katsuki…?"

He faced you with a conflicted expression. "Damn it," he grumbled. "I can't believe I'm going to be a father. I'm not fucking ready."

It was a fragile moment, a crack in his gruff exterior, and you seized the opportunity. You got up and took a cautious step closer to him, your voice barely above a whisper. "Katsuki, I know this is overwhelming, but we'll figure it out together. We can do this. Together…"

His anger seemed to waver as he looked at you, and for the first time in weeks, his gaze softened. "I don't want you to experience negative emotions, it hurts the baby, as I read."

You smiled through your tears streaming down your cheeks, reaching out to gently touch his arm. "I know you'll protect us, no matter what."

It was a long, tense night filled with more discussions. But gradually, Bakugo started to ask questions, seeking to understand the changes that were coming. He may not have shown it openly, but you could see the determination in his eyes.

As dawn approached, Bakugo finally pulled you into an embrace, his grip surprisingly gentle. "I won't let anything happen to you or our child," he vowed, his voice filled with newfound resolve. "I'll protect you both, no matter what it takes." Suddenly, the man reached out, hesitantly at first, and then placed his hand gently on your already visible baby bump. His touch was warm, his palm tender against your bump.

You looked up at him, your heart swelling with a mix of emotions.

You both stood in silence for a moment, his hand resting on your belly as if feeling for any sign of movement from the growing life inside. Then, with a hint of vulnerability in his eyes, he remarked, looking into your eyes, "I can't believe there's a little person in there."

You smiled, placing your hand on top of his. "It's incredible, isn't it?"

It wasn't a sudden transformation, but a gradual acceptance of the new reality. Bakugo's gruff personality remained, but now it was infused with a fierce determination to be the best partner and father he could be.

As you rested your head on his muscular shoulder, you knew that while the road ahead would be challenging, you and Bakugo would face it together.

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vriskerfic8ion · 1 month

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Script for my speech (it pro8a8ly won't turn out nearly as long)

Nongender transIDs are a valid form of identity, and their existence does not inherently harm minorities that may be the subject of the identity in question.

To even discuss this topic, we must first answer the question: what is a transID? As a prominent individual in the transID community, I would generally define them as good-faith identities analogous in experience to transgender with varying causes and intensities. In other words, these are identities in the same category as transgender that deal with things other than gender. Under this school of thought, one can theoretically identify as and/or feel dysphoria about any aspect that they themselves do not have in body or mind. Some examples that have commonly cropped up in internet discourse in recent times have been transrace, transability, and transharmful.

Upon hearing those terms, you may have a knee-jerk reaction. “Transabled, isn’t that offensive? Isn’t that ableist? Why would you want to have a disability?” And I ask you in turn; why are disabilities a bad thing? Should someone be ashamed of their disability? Is disability inherently undesirable to you? What’s more ableist: someone genuinely feeling as if they should have a disability, or what you just thought in your mind upon being introduced to that prospect?

But, is it actually offensive? Surely to have authority over a facet of oppression such as disability or race a community must have members of those groups right?

To answer this question, I ran a survey. I asked the community what marginalized groups they fall into in terms of gender, sexuality, race, disability, and humanity. Out of the 227 responses - which while small still accounts for a decent chunk of the active community - these were the results.

Only 34 respondents identified as cisgender. 78.2% said they have experienced discrimination on the basis of their gender.

Only 5.3% of respondents identified as heterosexual, with 68.6% saying they’ve experienced sexuality-based discrimination.

Only 58.2% identify as genetically white, 45% as physically disabled, and 68.6% as mentally disabled.

I find it safe to say that by demographics alone, transID cannot be offensive when so many members of the community are a part of marginalized groups. Minorities aren’t a monolith, no community is. We all have differing opinions on matters like this. What truly matters is that the struggles we as transID folk experience are cripplingly real, both in terms of dysphoria and internet harassment.

Take me, for example.

My primary transID identity is transcharacter, where you feel you should be a fictional character. When I first discovered that I'm Vriska Serket, I was overcome by the worst dysphoria I've ever felt in my life. Worse than my gender dysphoria has ever been. And that feeling, that negativity toward the fundamental structure of my being, has never abated. I dare you to tell me that’s not real. I dare you to tell me that my lived experience is silly, stupid, or fake when I only resist hurting myself because I know that seeing the color of my blood, and seeing that it’s not cobalt blue, would make me feel worse.

But what’s almost as big a threat to our lives as our own emotions is the harassment we face online. Given that the biggest gathering of transID individuals is on Tumblr, a social media platform famous for its discourse, there is a lot of hate directed at us. I will not be showing you specific screenshots out of respect for privacy, but I will give you some anecdotes from me and my close friends.

One of my friends had to be sent to the mental hospital after antis traumadumped in their inbox in an attempt to trigger them.

I’ve been threatened with having my eyes gouged out because I’m trans’half’blind.

There have been multiple accounts on Tumblr dedicated to having us burned and drowned and otherwise violently killed.

Me and several people I know have been told that they would be beaten to death if someone found out that they were transID.

One of my friends got an anonymous message describing, in detail, how they were going to rape them to death and desecrate their corpse.

Just last week, someone I’m in a Discord server with got their name and address doxxed.

We’ve been called predatory racist ableist transphobes because we identify in ways they don’t like.

We’ve been told to go burn in hell, jump in front of a train, shoot ourselves in the head, blind ourselves, drown ourselves, I could go on.

Right now, as I stand here, I am afraid for my life. I am afraid that one or more of you is one of the violent individuals I’ve faced online, and that I’m going to die the moment class ends. That one of you is going to kill me because I had the gall to express feelings I have toward my body!

That is the sort of shit we have to deal with on a weekly basis. Just for daring to describe ourselves in a way they don’t like. But why don’t they like it? Let’s deconstruct some of their most common arguments.

TransIDs are transphobic.

They usually say this because we share some of our terminology with the transgender community. Why would we do this? It’s because a whopping 85% of us are Not Cis. We’re already familiar with both the terminology and the experience, so we use words that, mind you, are already in the dictionary with definitions not inherently tied to the transgender community, to describe our experiences.

If you’re going to bar someone from using the prefix of “trans,” you have to agree that discussing transformation is offensive. Transaction? Oh hell to that! Transportation sure as hell isn’t safe, you’d better rename that to “crossportation” right fucking now. Or, perhaps… arissoportation? Make it not so offensive, yeah?

No, that’s obviously stupid. When I searched the online Oxford dictionary for “trans-” the earliest use I could find was 1574. In comparison, according to an article from The Conversation, the prefix used in terms of gender has only been used since 1910.

TransIDs are made up to gain oppression points.

This is among the most common arguments I hear. “You’re just an attention seeker and/or you just want to be oppressed.” And that’s an interesting take, because attention seeking is a good sign that someone is emotionally neglected. We, as biological primates, crave community. And I have seen folkel identify as transID because of this, to some extent - my most common sighting is transracial folkel who are POC feeling as if they’re “not dark enough.” So, it’s never just because they want to be oppressed. They feel like they SHOULD be oppressed.

Another argument that goes with this one is that we as transID folkel are “stealing resources.” And yeah, if you’re, say, buying thick water because you’re transabled, that’s a dick move. But I never see that. What I see instead is folkel doing simple things to help relieve dysphoria. Me wearing this eyepatch isn’t me stealing resources from the blind. I made this myself out of fabric, string, and prayers. It’s not a medical-grade eyepatch. No transID individual is going up to folkel and ripping off their bandages, or pulling their wheelchair out from under them, or anything like that. We work with what we have.

All transID individuals were groomed into it/the transID community is a cult.

Another common argument I see is that we - and the wider radqueer community - are a cult. Now, for something to be considered a cult, it must fit the BITE model. BITE is a pneumonic for behavior control, information control, thought control, and emotional control. Let’s assess the transID community using this model.

Behavior control - given that by pro-transID ideology you can theoretically identify as anything, we’re very pro-autonomy. If anything, we do the opposite of behavior control. We encourage freedom of expression to any extent.

Information control - On a surface level, it might look like there’s some information control going on in the transID community. There’s not a lot of resources validating our experiences, and a lot explaining why we’re all horrible pedophiles and shit like that. The reason why we don’t encourage listening to that information is because it tends to circle back to the same five arguments that can be easily debunked, like we’re doing now. These sources of information are made from a place of hatred and used for shock value… think the litter box argument that conservatives make against therians. It’s that same sort of fallacy.

Thought control - One could say there is some small degree of thought control in the transID community, because we heavily discourage negativity toward identities you don’t understand. Simply put, you’re not pro transID if you’re not pro all transIDs. The community can be quite reactionary in this regard, and this is the only point I’ll agree on. It can be quite toxic. But “toxic” isn’t the same as brainwashing others into cult doctrine.

The same kind of goes for emotional control - we can get defensive, but ultimately? We’re a small group on the internet. We’re not organized enough to control anyone to the degree that cults do. In fact, throwing such a word around is very offensive to cult survivors!

TransID individuals are all kids.

The last argument I tend to see is that we’re all kids under the age of 16-18. Simple statistics disproves that one, according to my survey we as a community are majorly (49.6%) over the age of 18. There’s not many folkel 30+ in the community, but that makes sense since older generations tend towards exclusionism and conservative thinking.

But even though we’ve debunked their arguments time and time again, antis will still keep coming back. They still want us dead, they still want us to rot in hell because they find us personally offensive. This shows that they haven’t developed a theory of mind around the subject. Theory of Mind is the process behind understanding that the thoughts and emotions of others aren't the same as your own, and accepting that. This usually happens around the ages of 4-5. In other words, if you go after us for identifying in a way you don’t like, you are quite literally acting like a child.

So what’s the solution here? In a word? Education. If these identities were more widespread and expressed in meatspace more often, there would be more questions and thus more answers. Folkel wouldn’t have to go undercover into our safe spaces and make assumptions. We love answering questions! I love answering questions! Which is why I’m opening it up to you. If you have questions about my experience as Vriska or about transIDs in general, I’m going to direct you to my Tumblr account. My URL is vriskerfic8ion, which is on the board now.

If we educate others on the transID experience and have folkel stop being suspicious of us, we may be more free to express ourselves. There might even be procedures created for folkel to modify their bodies, so for example I could get my eye removed.

Sure, we might offend some individuals. I’m not going to ignore that. I’m not going to ignore the feelings of those who are against us, who genuinely feel like we’re a threat to their existence. And I’m here to tell you: we are not the enemy. We are not out to invalidate your experiences with trauma, and racism, and ableism. We experience those things too. We have our own traumas, and a lot of us use transID labels to cope with that. We have reasons, real reasons, to identify as we do. It’s not to be quirky, and it’s not to be transphobic. We are merely putting words to experiences, and if you don’t like that? Block us. Refuse to interact with us.

But that’s only a temporary solution, because we’re everywhere. We’re in your schools, your workplaces. The folken serving your food could be transID. The folken teaching your classes could be transID. The folken sitting next to you could be transID. Why are you wasting energy hating us when we’re not going to change our beliefs? Like it or not, I’m still Vriska. I’m still looking to physically transition. I’m still going to remove my eye, and pierce my skin, and bleed for the futures of those shat on by groups who are supposed to understand our plight.

Your thoughts change nothing.

So the next time you meet someone who’s transID? Be kind. Be opening, welcoming. Ask questions. Suspend your disbelief. Accept them for who they really are, and kill the cop inside your head. Because at the end of the day?

We all just want to be our true selves.

#radqueer #transid #transcharacter #pro rq 🌈🍓#rq community #rq safe #rq 🌈🍓#rqc🌈🍓#transid community

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loxalotl · 5 months

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Piltover is the problem (*Arcane S1 spoilers*)

Throughout Arcane, Jinx is torn between Vi's "Powder", and Silco's "Jinx". Both love her, but neither accept who she is until Silco's final realistion where he switches from "Jinx is perfect" to "You're perfect."

Something he was desperate to hear from Vander, who gives up on Silco, betrays him and leaves him for dead thinking he doesn't have the capacity to change. But Silco proves him wrong: "Is there anything so undoing as a daughter". Jinx did what Vander couldn't. Gave him something else to believe in. Focussed that anger and injustice.

And Silco did it. He paved the way for peace. And had a good argument for not handing in Jinx for the murder of a couple of guards when Piltover has been systematically murdering hundreds of children and adults alike in the mines etc.. Oh, but it wasn't them directly, so doesn't count? No. Their inaction was what pulled the trigger. And Jayce doesn't even consider being held accountable for the murder of that boy (again, irregardless of all the out-of-sight so out-of-mind deaths). If brokering peace is enough for him, it should be enough for Jinx and Silco too, particularly when Piltover's body count is so much higher.

When it comes down to it, Piltover are the worst kind of abuser. They're the government who acts all nice and shiny and righteous while quietly enforcing child labour, enabling destruction of the environment, gas-lighting anyone who speaks against them, and promoting an unsustainable and lavish lifestyle based on self-interest at the expense of others. The quiet, deep-rooted, insidious evil that points it's finger at any opposers screaming "look, big bad thing threatening our civilised way of life!"

And Vander and Vi are not the "good guys" either. They're another kind of toxic. The "normal" people with a saviour complex who don't understand/accept anyone different, and part of what pushed Silco and Jinx over the edge (because, yes, Silco and Jinx have crossed a line, there is no excusing that). Neither are the Firelights necessarily the "good guys". They are so focussed on infighting in Zaun that they seem to have forgotten about the root cause of their problems. You know, Piltover? The people who have been quietly murdering your families and loved ones for the past X number of years??? Jeez. Remember the bigger picture guys.

Now, we may have been robbed of the "Silco figuring out how to properly dad" in Season 2 as it doesn't fit into Riots universe (looking at you, AO3), but I can only hope it doesn't turn into the "Vi fixes Jinx" show. Jinx doesn't need fixing. She needs people to accept who she is, and access to mental health care so she can focus that brilliance into productive things. People can be not okay but still valid. Yes, Silco was a "bad guy", but he was also a product of Piltover's exploitation, suppression and abuse (hello? Can we address this please?), as well as Vander's betrayal. He was very deliberate in his cruelty. It all had a purpose. Zaun needed someone to step up as nothing else was working (hello Jinx). Was it the right thing to do? Morally, no. But was it the lesser evil that would overall result in the fewest deaths? Who knows.

The key takeaway for me is that Runeterra DESPERATELY needs access to good quality, free mental health services (as do we all). Also, the world could also come a long way if we a) try to be nicer to each other and b) take a closer look at those really in power ('cos there is a whole lotta grey out there).

But that's how I see it. And I think one of the great things this show has done has sparked these discussions on acceptance, equality, mental health etc. It's okay to not be okay. You're not alone, so just be nice to each other. We're all on this lump of space rock together, and for anyone out there who feels lost, I'm sending all the love and hugs in the universe💜

And yeah, watch this show. It's perfect.

#arcane #silco #jinx #lol #piltover's finest #zaun #zaundads #mental health #vi #vander #league of legends #rant post #projectingowngovernmentontopiltover #somuchgrey #piltover

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chemdisaster · 4 months

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i've seen people complain about the toxification of desert duo, and while valid, a lot of you need to learn what abuse actually is and stop slapping that label on every single relationship that isn't all sunshine and rainbows.

abuse is repeated and constant, it's a power imbalance, it's suffocating and will drive a person's self-worth and will to live to the ground. let me say that again - repeated and constant. one instance of mistreatment is not abuse. a few select situations where one person hurts the other are not abuse. i will even dare say this - sometimes there will be a period where one person hurts the other more than they get hurt themselves, and it still won't be abuse, because there's more to abuse than just "person does bad thing to another person". abuse causes a very specific type of damage, it's about a total lack of respect and it's about control. miscommunication and difficult periods may make a relationship complicated, but they will not make it abusive.

while i haven't read every desert duo fic, i scoured the entirety of the scar tag up to around early june. by far most of the fics portrayed them as simply having a complicated relationship. and once again, complicated relationships are not abuse. to claim every difficult relationship you see is abuse is to downplay the very real and very harmful effects of actual abuse. additionally, what will end up happening is that you will start screaming "abuse!!" at every single little thing that happens to you, and it will poison your life because you will see an enemy in everyone and cut people off like strings and end up miserable and alone as a result.

so yeah. next time you go screaming about those nasty authors who don't tag their desert duo fics with abuse, take a step back and consider if the relationship is actually abusive, or if you just can't handle reading about any interaction between two people that is less than perfect.

#also for the love of god i am begging people to stop using the words 'unhealthy' and 'abusive' as interchangeable #relationships can be unhealthy for a variety of reasons and not every single one of those starts and ends with abuse #not 👏 every 👏 relationship 👏 is 👏 abusive #gtws #gtwscar #goodtimeswithscar #grian #grianmc #desert duo #trafficblr #tw abuse mention #life series #textdisaster

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hsvh-hp · 2 months

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You know I agree with you that fanon paints Lucius as a much worse father than he was and I don't like that either, but do you not think indoctrinating your child into a genocidal cult + coldly demanding that he be the best in class and publicly humiliating him about that ("if [my son's] grades don't pick up, a thief or a plunderer] may indeed be all he is fit for") is bad parenting?

Like I'm not saying "he is a bad parent" or "he is a good parent", I'm very hesitant to label parents (real or fictional) in such a one-dimensional way because parent-child relationships are so incredibly complicated. But at the same time it is very important to me to acknowledge even little things parents can do that can really have a negative impact on children. And indeed in Draco's case they do, leading him to want to be a Death Eater, to seek validation from Voldemort (when he disarms Dumbledore he talks about wanting to be the Dark Lord's favourite, he doesn't want help from Snape because he has a need to prove himself etc) and contributing to his general insecurity and need to be better than everyone & getting upset when he's not, because if he's not the best all the time then he feels really bad.

One big reason I dislike the fanon tendency to make every morally questionable parent an extremely physically abusive monster is precisely because that erases the representation of how the smaller, psychologically/emotionally damaging things they do can still be traumatising.

It goes without saying that there’s nuance. I would never say nor claim that Lucius did nothing wrong or didn’t make mistakes. By mere virtue of holding bigoted beliefs, he signaled to Draco that there were things he could do or be that might undermine his father’s love. To me, it doesn’t even matter if Lucius is otherwise perfect as a father. That small thing, in a kid as needy for love and validation as Draco is, would be enough to have him always on edge and anxiously performing his role as the perfect son to the best of his ability.

My earlier frustration was a pushback against the need to inflate Lucius’ less-great moments into overtly obvious abuse (we are very much in agreement there), as fanon seems to love to do without a hint of introspection or greater analysis. I’m so bored of complicated behaviour being filed away into a thought-terminating box called ‘abuse’, where a sole instance of someone being a grumpy, imperfect dad (the Borgin & Burke’s scene) is all that’s required to put a character on the same level as men who actually do beat their sons. It’s not given a greater thought.

For instance, you bring up Draco’s indoctrination into the Death Eaters, and his eagerness to join. This is a very interesting conundrum for Lucius to me because Voldemort is back for an entire year before Draco signs up. Lucius is in Azkaban at the time, unable to exert any influence over Draco’s decision, and Voldemort explicitly brings Draco into the fold as a form of punishment for Lucius. We have no access to Lucius’ head as readers, but he had an entire year afterward to sit and think about how he failed Draco. He’s a smart guy. I’m sure he could put it together that his bigotry came very close to costing his son his life. Considering the Malfoys sit alongside the winners of the war in the Great Hall, it speaks to me of some greater narrative reflection on Lucius’ part to have earned himself a place there.

The point is, I’ve never seen that Lucius in fic before. I crave that Lucius, who can realize his mistakes and grow or change as a result (and is brave enough not to let the lateness of its arrival dictate the terms). It’s very important to me that growth not be something exclusive to a certain age (16 and under? 18? I’ve seen people argue that Draco was no longer redeemable at 12 LMAO). So yeah, feeling alone in this sentiment occasionally bubbles up and I forget to articulate all the nuance of the subject when engaging with it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#meta #draco malfoy #lucius malfoy

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waddlewaddlewaddlewaddle · 10 months

Text

Over my head (Miguel ‘o’ Hara x Reader)

Chapter 5

Pairing: Miguel x reader

Summary: y/n is a kind hearted nurse who’s life gets turned upside down as she get fired from one the most prestigious hospitals in NYC , desperate , she start filing job applications wherever. Coincidentally a stressed Miguel is looking for a nurse due to a big amount of spider people getting injured due to the surprisingly large amount of anomalies happening in the spider verse. What could go wrong is these two meet?

Themes: ✎slow burn ( I think)

Mutual pining

✎office romance (¿)

Hidden romance

✎Smut available as story progresses.

Dom Miguel x sub/bratty reader

✎Stubborn, Ill tempered Miguel.

✎ Angelic reader .

It girl reader.

✎I try to be as accurate as possible.

English is not my first language so bare with me.

✎badass stoic x sweet empath.

Og spanish speaker so be prepared for steamy dialogue :3

Content :Fluff

See master list for previous or future chapters

⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

In a blink of an eye Miguel throws you into the air and with the help of a few faux webs your quickly taped down to the ceiling ,your hair falls straight down blurring your vision as you feel your back ache after suddenly being slammed into the roof.

-“¡Mierda Peter!”- Exclaimed Miguel as he watched Peter Parker walking in drunkenly still with his baby’s kangaroo on.

-“Where’s y/n?”- asked the joyful man with a can of Heineken in his hand.

-“she…”- Miguel lengths his sentence trying to compose a valid excuse but the worry that he didn’t stick you properly to the ceiling resulting in you falling down and possibly hurting yourself was all that could occupy his mind.-“Just left actually.”-He says with a fake smile.

Miguel was too busy trying to not break a sweat from his sudden acting role to notice that even though Peter was drunk his spider senses still worked perfectly and that he could sense your exhilarating heart beat from miles.

-“Well I just wanted to tell you that y/n told me about your injury so I could help out with the spiders , and as a friend I want you to take care of yourself, Mayday and I care deeply about you , we don’t want you to martyrize yourself for the sake of the association. For you information we perfectly run smoothly without your help for a few days. So as long as I find a babysitter for may I’ll replace you on your missions ,how does that sound ?”- Even though Peter was inebriated he pulled together the last night of eloquence he had so he could show his dear friend he cares about him.

The corner of Miguel’s lip raised for a millisecond before returning to his normal serious facade.

-“Thank you Peter but I won’t let you take over my responsibilities over a little injury. Plus with the recent raise of anomalies i don’t want to take extra risks. Do you want me to ask spider noir to take you home , you seem wasted.”- He ends the conversation with a small chuckle.

-“He’s even more wasted than I am! I’m too drunk to discuss this with you right now but just know the conversation is not over.”- Peter hasn’t gone out in a while since having mayday so he enjoys all the fun he could get.

And with some heavy unbalanced steps he quickly left the room leaving you too alone.

-“Miguel, I feel all the blood in my body in the front of my face. Please get my down.”- You groaned as you stayed still.

-“Coming.”- He said as he jumped about 13 feet in the air, With one hand he grabbed you by the waist and with the other he used his claws to rip the webs , he swiftly landed on the ground while you sorta struggled to climb off him to place yourself on the floor.

After letting you down you noticed that Miguel winced and started to rub the area that you just injected.

-“Don’t be too hard on yourself. You should take peters offer , it’ll be for his own good too. He needs those missions to get in shape so he’ll be able to keep up with mayday.”- You giggled as you started to put away the supplies.

-“Too dangerous.”

-“Oh Please Miguel, I know you think you’re the shit but i know they’ll get by perfectly without you.”- You sometime liked to provoke men by hurting their ego this way it’ll leave them flustered or confused, this lets you convince them easier it may seem Machiavellian but it’s for his own good.

Miguel’s brows tightened into a knot while he glared at you.

-“It’s not that, I’m just Really good at my job I guess.”- He murmured trying not to flatter himself too much when in reality he likes to think that the success of the spider society is due to his strict , hard handed leadership.

-“Whatever you say, i hope you’ll be able to climb walls as your ribs start pinching your lungs.”- you struggled to avoid letting out a laugh while watching the terror mirror in his face.

You quickly put away everything in their respective rooms and commanded the bots to sanitize the room before your arrival.

You grabbed your purse and walked back to the main room thinking migue would have left already but to your surprise his big figured continued to loom over the poor stool.

-“Goodnight Miguel.”- You smiled as you grabbed the door handle , before you knew it you felt a calloused warm hand grab your wrist.

-“Let me take you home.”

-“What for?”-You questioned.

-“To thank you for your services ,even though they were forced on to me.”-Miguel insisted as his hand refused to leave your small wrist

-“Be my guest.”

⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

Miguel drove a Ford raptor 150, A real vintage model but you could say it went well with his personality. The car smelled of smoker rosewood and was surprisingly spotless.

As you were driven to your home you couldn’t help but notice Miguel’s fixed gaze on the road or the way his rough hands grabbed the staring wheel firmly, you tried to not let your eyes wonder but they automatically traveled up to his arms that were decorated with bulging veins and a beautiful tan, your glare finally ended up on his face, his cheekbones and jawline were as sharp as his attitude , but what really caught your attention was his eyes ; they were cold and opaque like they were dull buttons glued on to his face. You concluded that he was strangely too handsome to be Spider-Man , he should be an old spice model or something.

-“Got something on my face?”- He murmured looking at you through the corner of his vision.

-“Yeah you got a little bit of blood; you better clean that up before they think you’ve killed someone.”- You responded as fast as lightning refusing to let him catch you off guard.

-“You always got a comeback huh?”- He sighed as he looked through your side mirror so he could take a turn.

-“Actually it comes out pretty naturally. It’s a gift you could say.”- You started to enjoy the conversations you two have while alone, this moment is not the exception. He was actually a pretty nice guy when he’s not throwing tables at unsuspecting people.

-“You live in a nice area of the city, I’ve never been here;must be a pretty safe spot.”

Miguel changed the subject while looking at the surroundings of your street , you choose this area because there were a lot of parks , trees and most importantly beautiful flowers to gaze at while taking a run.

-“want to know an unconventional reason why I choose this street.”

-“Enlighten me.”-He said as he swiftly parked in front of your building while turning his body to you so he could pay attention to you fully.

-“My parents immigrated from another country and where I’m from we lived in small town surrounded by a lot of nature, so you can imagine the shock when we moved here with concrete everywhere and all the pollution. So I picked this street cause the smell and ambiance sort of reminds me of home you know?”

-“It’s funny how everyone tries to make their reality one where they were most happy, even if it doesn’t exist anymore.”- He noted with a somber look in his eyes.

As you noticed the tensed up environment you decided to call it a night.

-“Thanks for the ride Miguel.”

-“Wait let me walk you to your door.”- He said grabbing the handle of his door.

-“There’s no need.”- You said with an earnest smile. -“Don’t want the door man to get the wrong idea.”

⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

Miguel locked the door to his penthouse and took his shoes of at the entrance , the Interior of his home was inspired by rustic minimalism.

The low glow of the lights made the house seem lonelier that it already was.

The bronzed man made his way to the shower turning on the cold water before taking off his clothes. He looked into the mirror to stare at the injuries staining his body, he was used to looking at open wounds and sometimes cuts that never healed properly due to his negligence, but then he stared at the little dots pertaining from your syringe, it’s the first time someone cared enough to tend to his injuries. He knows it’s your job and that he shouldn’t feel giddy over this, but after today he couldn’t help but feel a little appreciation towards you.

⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

The next day In the spider society hungover Peter Parker had a very important mission, he wanted to convince Lyla to suspend Miguel’s watch for at least a day so he could heal properly; he already informed the closest spider people so they could all be on their A game on todays mission for the sake of Miguel’s health.

-“Lyla I know it’s too much to ask but please keep it a secret from him!”- Pleaded out Peter almost on his knees.

-“There’s 5 anomalies roaming around the multiverse, how do you expect me to stay quiet”.- Groaned the ai.-“It’s Miguel’s choice if he decided to go out and bust his back, plus if I do decide to follow up on your plan he’ll be forced to stay here in HQ and bitch at me.”

-“Just trust me I have a plan.”

⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩🕸

After a rainy morning you arrived at HQ , after some greeting you noticed two spiders who were particularly hung over so you decided to prepare some iv bags and fluffen some pillows in case they wanted to come by and take a nap.

But as soon as you unlocked the door you noticed a sandwich from an artisan deli from the nice part of the city along with a warm latte.

You tilted your head in confusion wondering who could have left it here, on closer inspection you noticed a mint green note the top of the sandwich that read.

(Here’s last nights over time fee.

-M)

[a/n: sorry for the long wait but I enjoyed writing the

chapter and that’s all that matters to me🫶🏻 I’ll update from now on once a week :3]

#miguel x reader #mutual pining #office romance #across the spiderverse #comments are appreciated #fanfic #miguel o'hara #smut available as story progresses #spiderman #peter parker #you working as a nurse at the spider society #spider man: across the spider verse #spiderverse x reader #Spotify

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ms-scarletwings · 3 months

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I read one of your answers to a post where you mentioned that Skoodge is the ugly duckling who is being done dirty (I couldn't agree more). But what about Dib? Where does he stand? Is he one too?

Dib is literally just a post-March 15th Denzel Crocker that’s still a child.

He’s the larval form of this.

(Or, you could say this is his final Pokémon evolution)

And don’t tell me the warning signs aren’t already cracking through

That may paint a very tragic trajectory for Dib if he or his environment doesn’t fundamentally change in some way, but that was exactly what Denzel’s story was. This “creep” was the result of a genuine intellectual who fell deeper and deeper into a fixation towards a great secret that simply vexed his every attempt to possess and reveal. He’s a series antagonist whose days are spent like a frustrated cat twitching and chattering at birds beyond glass, made all the worse and more obsessive because of the actions (past and present) of the protagonist. The relationship between young Crocker and his mother is damn mirrored in lock step with that gaping, validation-shaped hole Dib is trying so hard to fill by proving something to Professor Membrane.

It’s an observation so ready to be talked about I’m far from the first person to even say so. I literally plucked these insights alone up just from the comment sections of the various videos I had to skim through for the Crocker screenshots.

Freaking seriously. Hats off to these accounts for saving me the time writing it myself.

#iz dib #denzel crocker #dib membrane #fop Crocker #mr. crocker #iz #character analysis #kids cartoons that get more lovecraftian the harder you overthink them #scarlet talks about things #answering asks #>:}#nicktoons

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anti-katsuki-lounge · 1 year

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There's something so fcked up about Bakugo being a hero AND one of the main characters with his nasty attitude and that bullying he never fully grew out of.

It really sends the wrong message, if you think about it, to anybody that may be in a toxic relationship that resembles that of Bakugou and Deku. As a kid I used to be absolute garbage with this one other kid, and watching BNHA at that time made me believe I was right and validated my behavior, since "this hero was also like that and he never got any consequences, so why should I??" Not the best message to give a kid with behavioral issues 💀💀💀💀

Thankfully I got help, stopped being a d*ck, grew out of it, and started giving steps to mend our relationship (and thankfully the other person was open and receptive to that), but BNHA sure as hell didn't help make me realize that what I was doing was wrong.

I legit thought—I'm not kidding—'he's a hero and he's doing the same stuff as me, so he must be in the right. And nobody ever says anything to him/calls him out on it, so that's just proving my point (that he's right)'. It was. Yeah. 💀

TLDR; Bakugou you're awful and I hate you with all my heart

First off, I’m really happy about your self growth 😊. I wish you the best 🙌

Secondly, I 100% agree. Katsuki sends awful messages to viewers. Let’s look at all the “consequences” he received for his behavior:

Suicide baiting Izuku: nothing. Even though his own goons call him out on it, nothing happens and it’s completely hand waved away.

Kicking that water bottle and getting trapped by a sludge villain: how the hell was he supposed to know that a stupid bottle had a villain inside of it? And that wasn’t even him doing anything wrong.

Sabotaging Izuku’s score on the Quirk Apprehension Test: nothing.

Nearly killing Izuku in the first battle trial: only told to grow up, but is also complimented.

Savagely beating Ochako: heroes call him out, but then “Mr. Always Right” Shota makes them look like fools despite them being right.

Being chained in the Sports Festival: Caused by his behavior, but the fact it leads the villains to want to kidnap him isn’t his fault as they thought he was victimized by society. Also who the hell chains up a child? I believe he should be locked behind bars, but U.A isn’t a prison and he was only chained cause he was being violent, not for his other behavior.

Getting less offers than Shoto: still gets to work with the Number 4 Hero.

Smacking Izuku and trying to fight All Might on his own: still passes the exam despite getting his shit rocked. Hanta meanwhile fails despite doing far more in his fight.

Being a dumbass and rushing the villains, which leads to his kidnapping: Again, not his fault he was kidnapped and even if he played it safe, there was a good chance he would’ve been kidnapped anyways. After all, the LoV had powerhouses such as Moonfish (who was kicking his ass), Muscular (who’s strong enough to eat blows from OFA), Dabi (who has flames hotter than Endeavor), and Twice (who can clone anyone he touches. He most likely would’ve been kidnapped anyways, but his dumbass didn’t make anything easier.

Failing his Hero License Exam: isn’t alone in that plus he gets it in like a month anyways. He even gets praised by the test scorers several times and gets to show off his fake growth.

Kacchan vs Deku 2: Katsuki gets put on house arrest, but so does Izuku, ya know, the person he dragged out to fight. Not only that, but he also misses out on getting stomped by Mirio AND gets to be a part of Izuku’s secret.

Stabbing Izuku with his costume to the point of brain matter flowing out of him: no one calls him out. It’s played as a “haha” moment.

Him completely misunderstanding Izuku when he went solo and delivering that horrid speech before apologizing: narrative makes him out to be in the right.

Such consequences are basically non-existent or aren’t a direct result of Katsuki’s behavior. As you mentioned yourself, if anything, Katsuki’s behavior ends up being validated, which in turn leaves other people to believe their behavior is validated. It’s a sickening message in a story about heroes.

#anti katsuki bakugou #anti bakugo katsuki #anti bakugo #anti bakugou #mha critical

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localplaguenurse · 2 months

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hii its amorette—can i just say i freaked out when i saw capillaries updated?? i loved the latest chapter so so much!!

i love how you characterize dottore and wanted to ask if you have any tips on how you write him / things you keep in mind while writing him, since your fic really inspired me to try writing my own! i hope you have a nice day :DD

Hi Amorette!!! Glad you liked it!

I saw this right as my first break at work ended and suffice to say, it’s been on my mind all day. You’ve opened a Pandora’s box, you’re getting a whole character analysis, because Dottore is actually a royal pain to write about so I have to REALLY study this bastard. The first half is going to be just purely on his canon traits, and the rest are my interpretations and headcanons.

So canonically, Dottore is very prideful and driven by the pursuit of knowledge. No subject is off limits to him, and he doesn’t care about how ethical or moral his research is. Whatever he needs to do, he’ll do it, the ends justify the means. He’s been obsessed with surpassing the gods since he was young, which is why he was ostracized by society. Sohreh’s notes describe him as initially “frigid,” but then she goes on to say she had a good time working with him and is looking forward to spending more time with him (Rip Sohreh). He created segments of himself from different ages as a way to surpass the limits of human cognition, and because they could offer their own individual contributions to his research. Omega is described as more selfish since he was the one to nuke the other segments for the gnosis, and Webttore/Beta is more manic and prone to mood swings. Also, none of the segments like each other.

That’s all the canon stuff. With that alone, you already have a pretty solid start for how to write him. He’s a man who views himself above the people who rejected him and wants to surpass the gods that ignored him. He doesn’t really care about keeping company and he barely gets along with himself. He’ll do anything in the pursuit of knowledge and doesn’t care if someone has to die for him to get it done. If Sohreh’s notes are anything to go by, he may have been antisocial but not completely opposed to finding connection, but that’s up to how you personally interpret her notes and subsequent death. He’s very calculating, and though he does resent the gods, he’s at least mature enough to hold it together for a conversation.

Now, onto my personal take on Dottore, which I’ve sprinkled through the fic already but it won’t hurt to share here :3

So the one key thing I have latched onto personally is his name. Zandik. By this point we all know it means “heretic” but really think about that for a second. That is the name of a man who was born in a world where gods are not only real, but they actually interact with the populace. Maybe it was because my bestie got me into Ethel Cain, but I started thinking about the implications/potential of religious trauma. What sort of homelife would a kid have when his own parents named him heretic when god is actually real? Certainly not a very pleasant life. Of course at some point he’d develop a hatred of gods when he’s been seen as a blasphemous monster since he was born. Of course he’d despise society as a whole, they’ve despised him from the start. This isn’t something he asked for, but it’s all he has. He did no wrong and yet all the world hated him for being born, what did they expect him to turn into?

As a result, my personal interpretation of Dottore is that he is still that prideful, cold and calculating scientist that hates the gods and isn’t afraid to do awful things to prove it, but he is also, deep down, motivated by validation. At the very least, that’s how this all started. At this point he’s become more callous, but there’s a part of him that wants to be appreciated, genuinely, by someone or something. This would have been especially prevalent in his younger self/segments, because he’s not as “mature” as he is now. If you cut through the 400 years of his callous cruel ways, you might find a little boy full of pain and anger asking what he did to deserve all of this.

… TLDR: He’s very smart, very callous, thinks very highly of himself, and I write him as one of those “they treated me like the villain so I became the villain they feared most” characters with a splash or religious trauma for flavour.

If you want to, you're more than welcome to use some of my characterization if you ever write about him! Honestly, for as big a pain in the ass he is to write, he's really interesting to explore as a character! It's actually why my favourite chapters/moments so far are the backstory ones, or whenever he's reflecting on his relationship with widow. He's a bastard and I love him.

#ask #amorette!#dottore #dottore headcanons #dottore divorce arc #character analysis

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 8 months

Note

tw sex mentions

this is probably gonna sound weird but being a sex and romance positive aroacespec person makes me feel really excluded from the community sometimes.

I understand that I seem to fall into a much smaller group of people- most aroace people I've met are repulsed or neutral on sex and romance. but it makes me feel almost... invalid, I guess? especially because it's a result of how my identities work (demiromantic and demisexual.) and some part of me often feels that people like me don't really have a place in the community, and id we do find one there's always gotta be someone who treats us poorly. I actually remember once having some people get mad at me for having the "audacity to call myself aroacespec when I can still feel romantic/sexual attraction in certain circumstances." got told I was invading a space, wasn't welcome.

and idk it's just... weird falling on the other side of things. I understand I could hypothetically just talk to non-aroace people about my attractions and experiences but they don't understand without lots of explanation, or they think I'm making things up (as they so often do with aroacespec identities...) but I receive the same treatment from my own community; accusations of enforcing allo and amatonormativity, faking being aroacespec for attention, etc. I'm kinda just in a weird limbo where I just... can't talk about my experiences.

it makes an already isolating experience feel far more isolating and I really wish I knew how to even go about finding other sex/romance positive aroacespec people so I didn't have to be so alone.

I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time, Anon. It sounds like not only are you dealing with lack of visibility but you've been running into gatekeeping too, which can be really difficult to deal with.

I do think part of the problem is the way social media is set up these days, certain narratives tend to the rise to the top and get the most visibility. Gray ace experiences are important too.

The other issue with modern social media is there's no moderation, which means there's no way to curb gatekeeping. Whereas in a properly run and moderated space, you can ban people for going around trying to tell people they're not what they identify as.

(Also just for the record, there are lots of ace and aro spectrum labels that include experiencing attraction in certain circumstances, and there's always been people who experience sexual and romantic attraction in this community. You belong here, Anon, and exactly as you say in your ask, allosexual and alloromantic experiences are not your experiences. There's a reason you came to these labels and your experiences and identity are valid. If you identify as aroacespec, that's what you are and no one else has the right to say otherwise. End of discussion.)

I'm really sorry you've been made to feel you can't talk about your experiences, gray experiences are so important to talk about and share. We have such a diverse community and ace and aro spectrum identities can be so complex, it's always helpful and beneficial to hear different people's experiences.

One thing you could do that may help is look into the gray-ace/gray-aro and demisexual/demiromantic tags specifically, which are somewhat active, and try and find people there to follow. Seek out similar experiences. I also recommend blocking any gatekeepers. They're always going to use the most emotionally charged language they can. It doesn't make them right. And hopefully one day we can just build better spaces for ourselves that give us more room to talk about our different experiences and find others like us.

All the best!

#aspec antagonism

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alphalesbian · 2 months

Text

"We generally do not comment on individual cases, but because there seems to be mass misinformation around this, I will make an exception and comment on predstrogen." So you admit this among the first and few of these exceptions being made, and you acted like a child, and proven in no uncertain terms you will let your team and apparently yourself operate your moderation with utter negligence to anything but the loosest and most arbitrary terms you actually do end up enforcing, without ever adressing why this seems to effect only very certain groups of people on this website in particular, over and over, well before and after this company and website was aquired by you, and still be wildly obtuse and intrusive about it. "Why do we wrongly have a transphobe reputation?" Love the use of the word wrongly here. This implies that it is a wrongful assertion that this website doesn't. Tumblr continues to have this reputation and others for a reason, not just because you think people at large are getting the wrong picture of your website and staff. This and other things are your whole track record that prove it consistently that you have this and other problems. "I am not aware of any Automattician (people who work at Automattic and Tumblr) who has made any transphobic moderation actions" In conjuction with the above statement, kindly, go fornicate yourself. You cannot imply here Tumblr's reputation is not skewing a certain direction, while also in no certain terms saying "it is not possible for our moderation team to be acting in this manner" just that you "are not aware" if it is happening, in your own literal words. The reality of this website is that its still happening and is still a problem, as much as you may think getting rid of one provably transphobic moderator may have done to change that reputation or the state of the site and its moderation going forward. Your website and your staff are still thought of this way for plenty of valid reasons. "So regardless of whether you still think Tumblr staff is somehow a bunch of transphobes, know that threats of violence or death are still not acceptable and will result in immediate and serious action. Know that when you rile people up, they can do dumb things with possibly permanent consequences." So we can acknowledge that people will say and or do things they dont exactly mean when pushed to a certain point, like that loony tunes type threat she apparently had made at you specifically, it then becomes really convienent that you look past how being ignored by your staff and you in respects to her ongoing harrassment could possibly be a factor in her being pushed to a limit. If you are going to put that as the standard, maybe start putting equal energy towards banning the people who said directly much worse and equally credible threats against her, and many others who receieved similar levels of harressment and can also immediately prove it beyond a reasonable doubt, let alone the hate groups that openly act around your website, among other directly harmful communities and people you also allow to stay on your platform.

@photomatt

#tumblr #about

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beri-allen · 9 months

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losing my head, spinning round and round - a wednesday x tyler playlist

a playlist about post-season 1 wednesday addams and tyler galpin, from wednesday's pov. for day 7 of @weylerweek2023; prompt: memories. click keep reading for notes on the translated lyrics & bonus track.

Take a Bow - Bathe Alone Wish you well, I cannot stay You deserve an award for the role that you play No more masquerade You're one lonely star

Tango - Ryuichi Sakamoto* A ghost stands outside the window The cry of the wind never stops Now that I'm bound by death, yet still alive Let's just turn into a clod of earth and sleep here forever (*,*)

Fishtail - Lana Del Rey Don't you dare say That you'll braid my hair, babe If you don't really care You wanted me sadder

Life is Not the Same - James Blake You knew it would get dark You made sure I would need you in every way So if you loved me so much Why'd you go?

The Limit to Your Love - Feist There's a limit to your care So carelessly there Is it truth or dare?

Of Him I Love Both Day and Night - Andrea von Kampen Of him I love both day and night Though I heard somewhere he had gone That was the first time that I lived Now it all seems so twisted and wrong

Everything Belongs to You - Joesef We tried our best to make it through But my eyes are black, my lips are blue And there's this heaviness when I move And that's 'cause everything belongs to you

Bonus Track: Backstage Romance - Moulin Rouge! The Musical Original Broadway Cast** I want your love and all your lovers' revenge You and me could write a bad romance

*notes on the English translation to ryuichi sakamoto's (rip) tango: i couldn't find a valid japanese-to-english translation to the song. i google-translated it, but the result was very bad. however, i did find a japanese-to-chinese translation, which i then translated to english, and although my chinese isn't good, i was able to understand the result better. so, the lines you see above are an english interpretation of the chinese translation to a japanese song, and it may contain inaccuracies. i put the links to both the og lyrics + chinese translation, so you can try personally translating them, if you want. but here's my interpretation of the song, if you're interested. again, i must warn you, that it may contain inaccuracies and please feel free to message me and let me know how i can improve it. thank you!

**notes on backstage romance: why have only 1 song about bad romance when we can have a medley of 4 songs about bad romance lol?

#wyler #weyler #weyler week 2023 #tyler galpin #wednesday x tyler #making this playlist and realizing that almost all the songs are sad and going 'TYLER YOU BITCH YOU BROKE HER HEART'#wednesday netflix #wednesday series #wednesday 2022 #wednesday addams #show: wednesday #playlist #losing my head spinning round and round

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donniesexceptionalmind · 10 months

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hi! its donnie, but I've got a weird question,,

whats the best thing to do during a meltdown?

i just figured out these episodes ive been having are most likely meltdowns and i have no idea what to do. (hooray!) i literally threw my phone and cracked it. i understand if youre uncomfortable replying! im just looking for advice, thanks!

-donanon

Greetings, Donanon!

I'm glad you asked & hopefully I can help you out. I'm sad to hear you struggle. Maybe it comforts you to know that I struggle with meltdowns, too? You are not alone. 💜

It isn't a weird question! I made this blog to spread awareness & show the 'inside view' of autism, as well as share the fun that is life in the Hamato household.

Let's begin! (/ ￣▽￣)/

Let's define what a 'Meltdown' is first:

Meltdowns can also occur as a result of periods of masking.

A meltdown is an intense response to an overwhelming situation - social, emotional, or/and physical. It happens when an autistic person becomes overwhelmed by their current situation & temporarily loses control of their behaviour. 

This loss of control can be expressed verbally (eg shouting, screaming, crying), physically (eg kicking, lashing out, biting) or in both ways.

Meltdowns are not temper tantrums. They are not bad, manipulative or naughty!

Meltdowns are not the only way we autistics may express feeling overwhelmed. We may also refuse to interact, withdraw from situations we find challenging, or avoid them altogether. Which are all valid!

The 6 stages of Meltdowns:

Triggers: anything that stresses you - can be sensory, emotional, and/ or social.

The Rumbling: if you identify your stress at this stage, you MAY be able to prevent a meltdown from taking place- it takes a lot of self-awareness

Loss of Control: from here, it's only down the spiral, the stress keeps adding up & you can't turn back

The Meltdown

De-Escalation: a period that varies greatly in time, in which you calm down from your meltdown

Recovery: You're beginning to slowly feel better & you might feel guilty about the happenings before & during your meltdown

Here's what I do when I have a meltdown:

Removal: I retreat to my safe space (sometimes with help of my brothers), where I am safe to scream & move without hurting myself

Meet my sensory needs: I turn on my noise-cancelling headphones or music, get my fidgets, & comfort items to ground myself

Let the energy & tension out: I stim & I try to feel my emotions & express them - screaming, crying, ...

I won't talk to anyone to save energy (also because I can't think logically)

I try not to 'eat it up' (as in masking it or trying to internalise it)

Letting myself rest: especially after a meltdown I'm very drained & sleepy, I may have a headache too, so any medication treating that is nice to have nearby

Also, important advice: Have someone informed about it so they can check on you.

Maybe a "Meltdown Plan" would be beneficial?

Mine includes triggers, signs of a meltdown, what I need from others & aftercare.

It's important to note that despite all your efforts, you will still experience meltdowns & shutdowns. It's a normal part of being autistic (frustrating & sad, I know). What you can change is your self-observation & your mindset. Be compassionate & kind with yourself - I know it can be hard. Autism is a disability.

Feel free to ask if you want further advice, I could've written an entire novella about it.

I can recommend the book "The Neurodivergent Friendly Workbook of DBT Skills" by Sonny Jane Wise, if you want to work on self-awareness & improving your well-being as a autistic or neurodivergent.

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bluravenite · 29 days

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Kinda wanna rant a bit about being a freelance artist and also struggling with mental illness !!

I like seeing Tumblr as my own personal blog because I can talk about things I care about and don't always feel like I have to cater to people, yet I still have sooo much to do, art for myself, commission requests, chores, projects, etc!!

I am currently sick so having a headache and peeled nose doesn't really help my case but I feel like we don't often see/hear about the struggle of being freelance and struggling with mental or physical illness (particularly chronic!!) and how debilitating it can be sometimes.

We often think the measure of success is in productivity and that our worth lies in the validation and approval of an external authoritative figure, like an algorithm. But I think that's often a harmful way to view human success and accomplishments, it is necessary to keep a level of understanding that validation is required as a part of motivation, but not the sole indicator of success.

People say that with great power comes great responsibility, but I think it's different, rather with great power* comes great expectancy of independent responsibility, be the power as it may not power at all, but rather life itself. When we grow up and become independent people suddenly expect this level of responsibility from everyone, but not everyone can meet that criteria. Humans need support, naturally, we are made to work in groups or rely on people for things! Be it emotionally, physically, environmentally, or chemically in our brains we crave to coexist with people, sometimes that can help us maintain a level of productivity and routine, but others it can hinder it. It's all about compatibility and about knowing and understanding yourself and what works for you!!

I don't wake up early every morning and eat breakfast and get to work and then do chores and have a perfectly balanced social life, in my current situation I find that late nights are when I work best, perhaps it could be early mornings but I live with people who are very awake in the mornings and I need my peace ans quiet to work, I find that I enjoy slow mornings and take 45-60 min breaks approximately every 2 hours of work, I like walking around my room and stretching whenever i feel too compressed and I try to eat at the same times every day so that I won't forget to, but it's not perfect and it's still a struggle. That doesn't mean I'm less productive! I've been trying to embrace taking breaks too, like real breaks.

Full days where I go without pushing myself to draw UNTIL I am so bored of the mundane thoughts that plague my mind that I am required to put them down on paper, and then I draw again, because I have a purpose.

It doesn't always work, MUCH easier said than done, but I still think allowing yourself to kind of "go with the flow" shows better productivity results at times, than forcing a habit when your brain and body aren't willing.

This was a little nonsensical journalistic rant about how I'm finding my mindset relating to art lately, been doing lots of explorations and learning to find comfort in creating again, thank you for reading if you did, and if you too struggle with this or with your own issues know that you're not alone, and I am always happy to listen in the replies or talk about other stuff.

At the end of the day I am a little human, just like you.

#raven rants

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