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#you need to chill
battlescas · 2 months
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When I watched the Twilight movies for the first time and Jasper came on screen all "he always looks like he's in pain" I laughed
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lawchan89 · 1 year
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ALRIGHTY SO already seeing people complaining that TOTK is gonna have “even less story” than BOTW (which I’ll argue about ‘til the cows come home but I digress), and it’s like
We only saw 10 minutes of gameplay
It was purely to show off a couple of mechanics
It featured Link’s new messed up arm with zero context from Aonuma as to why and how his arm is like that— do ya think maybe that was on purpose?
The marketing campaign has only just started, and by the end of April y’all are gonna be complaining that they’ve spoiled too much of the game. Like you always do. So stop it.
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theageofsims · 2 months
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Well Gloria, his ass outta town so you just gonna have to handle it.
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anonamous-blue · 1 year
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Me: *briefly shows image of my OC*
My girlfriend: where is the boi? My child must be seen I miss him. You cannot withhold him from me we have joint custody
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danswank · 2 years
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nana97doit · 6 months
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dozydawn · 1 year
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Fenton Vaseline Glass Snail, Vintage Yellow Opalescent Uranium Glass
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 4 months
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The musical episode.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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ghostbsuter · 4 months
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"I can see dead people." He mentions with a shrug, using the chopsticks to fish more noodles into his mouth.
Dick stares at him. "Huh."
"Is that why you help?" He asks, getting more spring rolls.
"Yeah. Once someone becomes a ghost, word gets out quick, and they come to me. Always tatling about unfairness and justice." The kid waves the words around, rolling his eyes.
Dick just pretens to he uninterested, despite his mind racing at the new info. He is piecing past moments together, every shadow leaping away, every note with tips, leads and—
Huh.
"Do you... like it? Doing all that?" Richard approaches thus carefully, brows furrowed at the kid opposite of him.
Danny moves his head, giving a 'so-so' answer. "It's not much to like, I can see ghosts, and they know it and use it. If it brings them to peace or whatever– well, that's just a plus."
Dick stares. He places his chopsticks down and looks at Danny worried.
In turn, the kid sighs. "Sometimes gifts become curses the longer you have it."
And Dick understands.
Mind made up, he throws a pair of keys at the kid, watching fondly as the other catches them with confusion.
"Next time use these, instead of entering through the window."
Danny mock-salutes with a shit eating grin. "Yes, Officer grayson."
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derekhalesbian · 9 months
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fuck it we ball. ohshc text posts (1/?)
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neimlise · 1 year
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Captain Price and his two gremlins of a child teammates.
Gaz: What time is it?
(Y/n): I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
(Y/n): *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Price: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
(Y/n), to Gaz: It’s two in the morning
Price: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste
(Y/n): We got spring water
Price: NO.
Gaz: with EXTRA minerals
(Y/n): it's like licking a stalagmite
Price: DON'T COME HOME.
Gaz: Mmmmm cave water
Gaz: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
(Y/n): The car takes a screenshot.
Price: For the last time, get the fuck out.
Store Worker: Would Mr. Price please come to the front desk?
Price, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
*Store Worker points to (Y/n) and Gaz*
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
(Y/n) and Gaz, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Price: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
(Y/n): Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Price: (Y/n) no.
Gaz: Mistlefoe.
Price: Please stop encouraging them.
Gaz: Hey Captain,
Price: Yes?
Gaz: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Price:
Price, stressing out: Where’s (Y/n)?
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lucabyte · 27 days
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thinking about travelling-with-the-party loop doing things habitually without realising how deeply suspicious they are
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aroaceleovaldez · 5 months
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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bruciemilf · 2 years
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Jason being protective over Bruce just feeds my soul. I don't even need dinner, just give me Jason scaring off suitors away from his dad and I'll be CONTENT
LISTEN. Bruce is literally always sending Jason messages, texts, tries calling him, even sends him memes at Steph's recommendations, but nothing! Nada!
He always sighs and tries again, but eventually scores Jason's gonna talk when he's gonna want to.
He also leaves him voice mails, detailing about doing arts and crafts with Damian, how he tried Jason's training routines, taking cooking classes, - and he always ends the message with, " Don't get into trouble, Jay. "
It passes as I love you,
What does it? What finally stirs Jason back into the Wayne Manor? This:
" Jason Peter Todd. This better be the last time you prank call Tim in a middle of a meeting. You're more than aware our investors are, -" cut " I'm calling you for a favour. Could you watch Damian for me Thursday night? Everyone else is busy, and Clark made some reservations at a ridiculously expensive establishment, I-"
Jason marching through the manor with this voice mail at full volume, while Bruce and the others are trying to get him ready for the date. Dick is the first one who spots him. " Oh, no-"
" HE IS A FUCKING DEAD MAN!"
" Jason," Bruce is very calm as he attaches his nicest broach on. " Watch your language. "
" Who's this Clark guy? How long have you known him? What does he do? Do we have a background check? What about romantic history Who's? Who's side was he on in the Heard vs Depp trial? "
" He posts golden retrievers on that blue bird app you like. He's even...Approved? I think? But Dick told me not to mention it around you. And take that off, you'll scare him. He should be here any minute now."
" OH THATS WHAT I'M COUNTING ON - "
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nana97doit · 6 months
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toytulini · 8 months
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.
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