#you said that and it absolutely changed my world

[bisexualiteaa]

actually dying for a cooper howard x vaultie!reader smut where they have some slow burn longing steaminess, but coop thinks she’s too good for him UNTIL she comes in contact with a sex pollen-esque chem and he finally gives in to save her 🥵 please work your magic and elaborate however you want

A Flame in Your Heart

Cooper Howard x Fem Reader (SMUT!!)

CW: NSFW like absolutely filthy y’all, you’ve been warned. 💀 unprotected sex, irradiated cream pie, p in v, p0rn w/ plot, slow burn, flirting, cursing, perverted thoughts, dub-con (because of chem usage though consent is asked and given!) rough sex, dirty talk, choking, praise kink, degradation, squirting, mention of fingering, FEELINGS!! Slight deviation from TV series, possible grammar/spelling mistakes, cooper starts off mean but slowly warms up to reader

AN: I absolutely LOVED this request! I was up all night writing down all my ideas and spent all this morning perfecting it, and this has to be my longest one yet! I thank you for your patience anon and my lovely readers as I finally post this! Hope you enjoy and that I have done your ask justice! ❤️

Life outside of the vault was difficult to say the least. You felt hunger and dehydration in ways you’d never experienced before, going out of your way to do desperate things you would normally never do in order to get said food and water. The heat was unbearable, every stretch of land you walked across had a danger lurking around every corner, and worst of all, you’d never felt so alone. You weren’t sure what it was about you, maybe it was because you were new to the surface, maybe it was your nearly perfect skin, but everyone seemed to stare or glare at you when you would walk through. It wasn’t until you’d passed through Filly, meeting Ma June that you realized people didn’t take kindly to people like you. “Vaulties” she called them, an audible disdain in her tone, making you look down to remember you were in your blue and gold Vault-Tec suit. “I’ll be going then, have a nice day!” You said skiddishly, offering her a kind smile before turning and exiting the shop. You just wanted to make friends, why was that so hard up here? So when your eyes set on a man clad in classic Wild West cowboy clothes, watching smoke settle after a stand off, you weren’t sure why but you knew that was who you needed on your side in this world. Before you knew it, your feet were already moving and mouth speaking to him, grabbing his attention.

“I ain’t no charity case sweetheart, I don’t take on strays” The ghoul spoke, his southern drawl making him even more memorable than the marred texture of his skin. You looked to the dog that trailed not far behind him as he walked, changing its pace to keep up with the man. “The dog there with you tells me otherwise” you quipped. “Ain’t my dog” he responded harshly as he continued walking. “I can make it worth your while!” You yelled, making him stop in his tracks for a moment, a scary sight at first before you worked up the nerve to come closer once he turned back to you. “And how you suppose you’d do that?” He asked, and at first you didn’t know what to say, the words leaving your mouth before you could really think of a good enough reason. Did nobody like company anymore these days? “Well…I can be your scavenger! Pretty good at collecting stuff” you offered, shaking your bag and making things rattle around inside to prove it, making him give a huff of a chuckle. “‘f I wanted a pack mule I’d‘ve found a brahman” he shot you down. “Okay, then I can be good company to talk to!” You offered. “They make radios for when I want to listen to someone yack” he shut down once again. “I’m a good cook! Even with shitty supplies, I can make a stew that’d put a smile even on the meanest son of a gun’s face” you said, hopeful that he’d at least take you for something, but you had a feeling he’d probably turn you down again. “Iguana on a stick’s just fine” he said, though he had to admit the stew sounded good. Reminded him of home before all this wasteland bullshit. “Oh, umm…” you said awkwardly, your tone growing quiet and my how it put a sad look in your eyes. The evil part of him liked it, seeing your sweet innocent face all downturned but the part that was still human deep down, the part that hardly ever saw the light of day anymore, had half a mind to let you.

“Got a lotta nerve walkin’ up t’ me, girly. If you somehow been lucky enough that you ain’t met dangerous yet, you’re lookin’ at someone who could put you down before you’d even mutter your last words” he threatened, motioning to the double barreled shotgun in his hands. “I know, I saw it first hand. You hold yourself well, I envy that. I’m new to all of this and just really want someone who can help me hold my own the same way” you explained. “Look, I know I don’t look like much but please just give me a chance” you begged, looking up at him with a fighting spirit in your eyes that he had to admit, he was pretty impressed in seeing in a vaultie. “You help me, I help you, however that ends up being” you offered, standing strong on this and damn if he didn’t see a little bit of himself in you at that. He gave a sigh, tilting his head down before shaking it, not believing himself for the words he was about to say. “Alright, but the minute you start draggin’ you’re out, got me?” He said, and he hated the way his cold heart seemed to pump a little faster upon seeing your eyes light up with joy and a smile stretch to your face. “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” You said, opening your arms up to hug him but being met with the barrel of his gun poking your stomach to keep space between you. “I don’t do hugs” he spoke gruffly, making you back up enough to where he’d drop the gun back to his side. “R-Right…sorry” you apologized, embarrassment washing over you but still glad to finally have someone in your company. “C’mon, I ain’t got all day now” he said, motioning you to start walking, so you joined him.

Your travels with him certainly weren’t at all what you were expecting them to be. From being used as bait, to being tied up with rope most of the time you’d traveled together, or being sent in as his scavenger, you weren’t prepared for a lot of the reality you faced with being up on the surface. Most nights made you question why you’d ever left the comfort of the vault, why you’d abandoned a trusty food supply, regulated temperatures, a safe place to sleep that wasn’t riddled with radroaches or had the likely hood of waking up to a raider with a knife at your throat for no reason. Then you would remember the experiment in your vault, why you left that awful place for arguably a worse reality on the surface but at least you had freedom. Out here you were free to say what you want, do what you want, consume what you want so long as you could defend yourself incase that supply wasn’t unclaimed. You’d gotten pretty handy with a gun in the most recent weeks. Cooper, you learned one night was his name, using empty glass bottles as targets to help teach you accuracy and how to hit things from a longer range. In exchange, you came a little more useful than he had first thought. You had some useful stuff on you for trade like chems, ammo and food, were a good extra bag to hold stuff in, and you were a better cook than you’d talked about. Sure you had a tendency to talk too much, and you weren’t great with a gun, but you were getting there.

“Might I suggest takin’ them clothes instead of wearin’ that suit?” He said, making you look at him weird for suggesting you strip a dead raider of their clothes. “Why would I do that…?” You asked, genuinely confused and not sure what he was implying either, he was a hard man to predict. “Because, people see that shit and get real mad. People up here don’t like vaulties or the ones that run ‘em” he said and it made sense, it helped you understand why you kept getting evil glares each time someone would look at you or talk to you. You figured he knew best, so you took the shirt and pants from one of the female raiders, tucking them into your bag to change into at a better time. He gave a chuckle watching you do so, apologizing to the dead body profusely as you took their clothes and whatever valuables they had on them for the betterment of your own survival. You were still so naive, part of him was hoping he could slowly start to break and corrupt your way of thinking, but that was a thought for another time.

Before you knew it, night finally began to fall. The sun setting across the horizon gave the air less of a hot, harsh bite as the temperature began to cool rapidly across the sands of the Mojave. All you managed to grab was a pair of beat up, old jeans and a tank top, so as soon as the sun set, the chill set in. As you both set up camp for the night just outside of an abandoned rest stop, you started a fire to cook some of that stew you talked about being good at. He had to admit, it was pretty damn good, likely the best thing he’s had since before the bombs went off. Though even the kindling fire couldn’t manage to chase the chill away, watching you run your hands up and down your arms to try and warm up some by it. He felt a slight pang in his heart, watching you shiver like that, how your eyes lit up by the blaze of the fire and your hair seemed to be tousled just right. You were pretty, too pretty to be trekking this wasteland, and certainly too pretty to be trekking it with him of all people as your company. Even he had a heart still, as cold as it was, so out of kindness he shrugged his duster from his shoulders, draping it around you. You looked at the fabric pooled around you, pulling it over you better before looking to him as he sat down across from you again. “Ain’t no use if the cold gets ya” he said, making you smile appreciatively at him as you realized what he did. “Thank you” you replied, a slight blush fanning to your cheeks as the chattering of your teeth finally died down and you grew warmer. It smelled like him, sure it had splatters of old dried blood and was rather worn, but it had that gunpowder and smoke smell to it that you associated with him. “Don’t say I never did nothin’ for ya” he replied, trying to sound cold but it didn’t come off that way, making you chuckle. “What do I owe you?” You asked, making him fall silent for a moment as he pondered the answer to your question. He looked you over for a second before tipping his hat down to cover his face a bit, the signal that he was about to try and get some sleep. “Just keep watch for a bit, I’ll be up in a few hours” he responded, and while it wasn’t what you were expecting, you’d take it.

He was startled awake a couple hours later when he heard a commotion, you yelling at someone telling them to back off that this place had been claimed. The raider you were up against didn’t seem to like that very much, claiming that wasn’t how it worked up here. The altercation took a turn for the worst when the man reached for his gun but you were quick to fire and kill him before he could let out a shot. A shaky feeling set in your hands and a horrified expression across your face at the realization that you just killed someone. Cooper, who was certainly wide awake now, was rather impressed by your quick timing and precision, coming up behind you to lay a gloved hand to your shoulder. “Well would ya look at that, looks like them lessons been payin’ off after all. How’s it feel?” He asked, looking down at you as you stared at the gun in your hands. “He was yelling at me but…he was aiming at you. I don’t really know what came over me, I didn’t like that he was going to shoot you so I just…I killed him” you said, recounting the encounter to him as if he hadn’t seen it himself. He didn’t really know what to think in that moment as you explained how your mind worked, he was proud for sure at your show of improvement with a gun, yet also touched at the same time. No one ever really looked out for him since he started his bounty hunting, he was a well hated man by many but you defended him without really any reason to. You’d just learned his name not but two weeks ago, and before that he was dragging you around with rope yet you still defended him, had you two really gotten closer in the time that’s passed since? He wasn’t sure, but it was something he could mull over while you were sleeping. “Get some rest vaultie, sun’ll be up soon” he said, knowing you likely wouldn’t get much sleep with the adrenaline still coursing through you, but it was at least worth a try, you two had a long day ahead of you.

When you woke up that next morning, things felt a little different between you two. You weren’t some annoying little dog following him anymore, you were an equal. He no longer looked at you and treated you like you were lower than him as you both set out across the wastelands, he had respect for you. Hell, he even started talking with you now when you were out traveling which was almost unbelievable. You learned through those conversations that he used to be an actor in Wild West themed films, explaining his outfit, and that he was married before the bombs dropped. You of course told him bits and pieces about yourself in exchange, after all it only felt fair but it was also nice to just finally talk to someone after all this time.

When night time fell again you two sat enjoying a meal by the fire together, only rather than across from each other, he sat next to you, making a blush come to your face as you’d smiled sweetly at him. “Glad to know I don’t have germs anymore” you said jokingly, making him chuckle. “Give an old man some credit. It ain’t exactly all peaches and marmalade out here darlin’, even cute can be deadly” he said, the nickname and him calling you cute sending a deeper blush to your cheeks despite knowing it’s just how he spoke. Whether it was the lack of contact with other people for so long, or just his charm you couldn’t quite tell, but it always seemed to have an effect on you. “Just teasin’ you, I get it. I’d tie me up and use me for bait too if I’d been doing this as long as you have. It’s a shit hole out here” you said, making him look at you as you dropped the first curse word he’s ever heard from you. “Well I’ll be damned, either I’m a bad influence or you’re finally growin’ outta that naive shell there, vaultie” Cooper replied, making you laugh as you saw a smirk stretch to his thin, marred lips, the first one you’d seen in a while that wasn’t brought on by drugs, chems or that first sip of a good bottle of alcohol. “Probably both” you quipped, making him chuckle. “Yeah, probably. Been told I ain’t easy to stomach” he said, making you hum. “You’re alright in my book, Coop” you replied with a sweet, genuine smile that matched your tone and was that butterflies you felt in your stomach? Did you just call him Coop? No ones called him that in ages, why did it make his heart start to flutter a bit? “You ain’t so bad yourself, vaultie” he responded, still affording you that small smile before turning back to his food. “Keep making food this good and I just might have to keep you around” he joked, making you giggle and break the slightly tense silence. “It’s not much but I certainly try. I’ll definitely make sure to stay good at it, I like traveling with you” you said, unintentionally coming off flirtatious and fuck there it goes again, that feeling in his chest and his stomach like he needed to hit his inhaler but he felt great. What were you doing to him?

“Hey, if it isn’t too much can I ask you a sort of…personal question?” You asked, holding the beat up bowl in your hands as you looked over at him. This was normally the part where he would say no, absolutely not, he wasn’t here to be questioned on his personal matters. Yet, with you, it was different. Ever since last night he hasn’t been so on edge with you, it was like he’d warmed up to you. “Depends on what you’re askin’ there, sweetheart” he said, the nickname once again making you blush. “Do you…miss them? Your wife and daughter?” You asked, not sure if it was a good subject or good question to ask but after finding out, you were genuinely curious. He looked down at his bowl again, thinking of the proper response to your question. The old him would have been defensive, told you it was none of your business, but now? He wasn’t sure. “Ain’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about ‘em. About the way I ran out on ‘em when them bombs dropped” he answered, making you give him a sad look as genuine guilt filled his tone. This was the most honest and open he’s been with you this whole time. “I feel guilty. Not sure if I feel guilty for runnin’ out and leavin’ ‘em behind or guilty for the way I ran out, been tryin’ t’ figure that out for quite a while now and I still ain’t sure” he added, and you sympathized with that. Everyone has regrets, things they’ve done in the past that they aren’t proud of, people up here were no different in that aspect. “Well, in the short time I’ve gotten to know you, I’ve come to understand that everything you do has a valid reason behind it. So even if you feel it was a shitty thing to do, you obviously had a reason for doing so. No one can blame you for trusting your gut, and I don’t think you should blame yourself for doing so” you responded, your hand falling to his as a comforting gesture, your words ringing in his head almost as if you’d opened something in his mind, something he’d never really gave himself to think about before. He looked down at your hand that rested on his, noticing the way you didn’t flinch away from him like others did, the way you were brave enough to walk up to him, talk to him, *trust* him when he made it very clear that you shouldn’t. It was smaller than his, softer for sure, but warm all the same, then he looked up to see that caring look in your eyes and smile on your face that told him that you cared. “Guess you’re right, still wonder sometimes if it was the right choice to make” he replied. “I understand. Everyone has regrets, we all look at the past and hold at least something that we’ve done before in regret, it’s what makes us human” you said, making him give a huff as a chuckle. “You got anybody?” He asked, making you look down as you moved your feet along the dirt. “An ex-husband, but not anyone I really care about, no. My parents passed a few years before the bombings and he and I split up when I caught him cheating on me with some other woman in the vault..” you explained, not sure why it hurt you to tell the tale still, but you felt it was only fair considering what you’d asked of him to share. “Sorry t’ hear that” Cooper said, making you chuckle weakly, a somber look coming to your face that made his heart wrench. “I haven’t exactly been in love since, and considering he and I split up just a little over ten years ago, really says something I guess, huh?” You asked, trying to laugh to bring up the mood, knowing you sounded pathetic. “He was the fool, not you darlin’. He was the one skippin’ out on one hell of a woman” Cooper said, making you look to him and blush a bit as you gave a chuckle at his response.

“Thanks” you replied appreciatively and with a smile before casting your gaze down to see your hands were still connected and it left you blushing harder with embarrassment, you’d been holding his hand this entire time without realizing it. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable if I have I-“ “relax vaultie” he cut you off, pushing your hand back down onto his to assure you that he was far from uncomfortable. “It’s…rather nice actually” he admitted, making you feel relieved but your heart fluttered in your chest from it. A thick tension soon began to set in between you both after that night, something of an unspoken, kindling romance beginning to develop. “Then there it can stay” you said, making him smile softly at you, tipping his hat at you as a silent thank you.

Months passed on like this, where you’d spend the days scavenging, picking the land for its resources you could find and hunting bounties by day, then spending your nights by a fire growing closer and closer with every passing day. Through your shared meals, jokes, deep conversations, and plenty of near death experiences, you started to notice your fondness of the ghoul you traveled with. The way you’d hang onto his words with that southern accent that seemed to pull at your heart strings, or the way you’d go out of your way to stand between him and a stray bullet. You’d helped him on more than one occasion in getting out of a sticky spot, or getting him the stuff he needed to keep from turning feral. In return, he started to notice he was feeling the same towards you. There was this sudden need to keep you safe, to do nicer things for you, to speak better towards you, even flirt with you at times. Some nights there’d be so much tension in the air, it’s a miracle you haven’t jumped each other yet. Though in his eyes, as much as his heart yearned for you, he knew you were too good for him. You’d been hurt before, and he had a reputation for hurting people, feeling undeserving of even just the sweet smiles and company you afford him even now. You didn’t need someone like him, you needed a good man, someone who didn’t kill for a living, someone who could treat you right, someone who didn’t look the way he did. You were soft and warm, he was rough and cold, though he supposed that’s where the term “opposites attract” came from. So even when he was a whole bottle deep, he was sure to hold his tongue to a certain point.

Some of those nights around the fire were spent sober, others not so much, and this night happened to be one of those nights spent under the influence. You two had stumbled across a mini-mart, doing your best to out run the radstorm that had been trailing you guys for hours, coming in just to find whatever supplies you could to make it through the next week and possibly hunker down for the night. So imagine your surprise when you seemed to have found the largest chem stache you’d both ever laid eyes on. “Coop! Come here, you gotta see this” you said, making him run towards you to make sure you weren’t hurt or in trouble. His nerves were eased once he saw you, fully intact. “Tell me I’m not seeing shit” you said, pointing to all of the supplies sitting in a box on the table, joined by other supplies around it. You both looked at each other in complete and utter disbelief, this would keep you stocked for months, maybe even a whole year if you conserved it well. “Well ain’t that just the prettiest fuckin’ sight” he said. There was no way a horde of chems this large and this valuable was just completely unprotected you reasoned, so you routed around the place, scoping out for any raiders, straggling traders or ferals who happened to still be around. It was as if heaven was shining down on you both as you found no one around, seemed like no one had been here for days. So you did the most logical thing anyone would do in this situation. Stuff each of your bags to the brim of drugs of all varieties! Seeing as you had food, chems and even some clean water and alcohol lying around, Cooper locked and barricaded the door shut, proposing it could be a good spot to sleep for the night. With a radstorm approaching, it was best to have a roof over your heads to keep out the rain and potential radiation sickness that came with it. “This is the closest fuckin’ thing to a slice of heaven I’ve seen in ages” he said, aside from you is what played in his mind but he couldn’t speak that out loud, no matter how much he wanted to. “You said it!” you replied, and it’s even better with you here you thought, but thought it best to keep it to yourself. He plopped down on the couch, kicking his feet up to rest on the small table that seemed to be in shambles, enjoying a tape that was playing on the TV that he was surprised to still see functioning. “Holy shit, this thing still works?” You asked, amazed to see working technology out in the wastelands, sitting next to him as you watched it with him. He gave a smirk at your reaction, thinking it was cute the way your eyes would light up when you got all excited over something. Deep down it made him want to give you everything you laid eyes on like that just to see it pointed towards him. “Guess so” he replied, enjoying your excitement only to see you turn and look his way, which was his signal to stop staring holes into you before he gets caught. “I dunno about you baby doll, but I ain’t about to spend tonight sober with this stache sittin’ here ‘n front of us” he said, making you laugh as he routed through all the different drugs and chems til he found what he was looking for.

In the process of searching through it all, a small metal box fell to the floor at your feet. It looked like a box of mentats only the design was different, instead of the characteristic green and white box was a red one covered with hearts labeled DN-Chem. You supposed the worst that could happen was turn into the man sitting next to you, which you figured wasn’t the worst fate to succumb to all things considered, so you went against all better judgement and said fuck it, popping two of the mentat like chems and chasing it with the vodka he’d found to wait for it to take effect. “The hell is DN?” He asked, looking at the box, wondering what it was you took. “Don’t know, guess we’ll find out here soon because I took two” you said, taking another sip from the bottle of vodka he passed your way, and he gave a chuckle as you handed it back to him. “You come a mighty long way, little lady” he commented before setting the metal pill box down. He took the bottle from you, taking a swig, then placing one of the small viles into his inhaler before taking a hit of it then lying back, breathing a sigh of relief as it and the alcohol entered his system like the perfect remedy to any ailment. As about a half an hour rolled by, you waited for the high to set in but it never came, instead you were just getting hot, like really hot. There weren’t any windows open, and it was night time so you shouldn’t be this uncomfortably hot for how it was but you felt like you were on fire. “Shit, it’s hot as hell in here…” you complained, shaking off your jacket that you’d picked off of some raider a few weeks back, making him look to you curiously. “Lightweight” he quipped, making you chuckle. “Accept I don’t feel anything, I just feel hot” you said, making him hum with intrigue before turning back to the TV. “Give it some time, you’re new to all this. ‘m sure your body is wonderin’ what the hell you just put in it” he said, and he had a good point, maybe it was just a side effect of not doing them so often compared to his every day use.

As time went on, you began to notice the way your eyes couldn’t help but be glued to him, more specifically glued to the way his legs were now spread as he sat back. You wondered to yourself what he looked like beneath all that cowboy get up, what his reaction would be like to see you getting on your knees for him and slotting yourself between his spread legs. You shook your head to try and rid yourself of such inappropriate thoughts, but what you couldn’t stop no matter how hard you tried was the feeling of arousal beginning to pool in your panties. Sure he flirted with you every now and again, but you doubt he felt towards you the same way you did for him. To him you were sure you were likely more akin to a pet than a friend, useful and nice to have around, but not anything further. At least so you thought. You’d rather hoped you were wrong in assuming so, that maybe he saw you the same way you saw him. You bit your lip as you tried bouncing your leg to relieve the ache between your thighs, a light pink dusting your face and neck even up to the tips of your ears, but nothing worked. Even as you closed your eyes, all you could picture was you laid out on the couch beneath him, or bent over it with him behind you, or you riding him on it. “Been awful quiet. You doin’ alright over there, sweetheart?” Cooper asked you, and the audible whimper you let out from the nickname left you completely embarrassed. You clasped a hand over your mouth, god you were horrified but he gave a grin and a chuckle in response. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me all the sudden. I feel so…weird?” you said, unsure if that was really the proper word to explain it but it was the only way you could really word it off the top of your head with how much your brain felt as if it was turning to mush. “Ya took some chems, it’s gonna feel a bit fuzzy” he said, trying to assure you that feeling a little funny was normal, but this? This didn’t feel normal, not even for a chem high. You tried your best to swallow harshly, doing everything you could to try and relieve the dry ache you felt in your throat at the moment upon looking at him. You grabbed the bottle of vodka, taking a few sips but even that couldn’t grant you bliss from it. The throbbing in your core was driving you absolutely insane. You swore up and down that it was like you could feel your heartbeat in your chest, stomach, and in your cunt all at the same time. “No, this is different…I don’t think what I took was a normal chem, Coop…” you said, trying not to panic at the effects that were setting in but god you felt like you were absolutely feral. He turned to look at you, watching as you clamped your thighs together and the red that fell over your face. “I feel like an animal in heat” you said bluntly, making him go into a near coughing fit as you took him off guard. However that piqued his interest enough to pick up the little metal box again to see what it was you took. “I ain’t ever heard of a chem that does that, was that DN shit the only stuff you took?” He asked, growing slightly concerned for you and whether he had a possible horde of laced chems, or just an extremely horny woman on his hands. Speaking of hands, you were lost in thought staring at them, at the way they gripped the couch like you wanted him to grip your thighs, at the way they looked in those leather gloves he always wore. You wondered how it would feel wrapped around your throat, or how it would feel if his fingers were buried deep inside of you. Shit. This was getting out of control.

“Hey, ya with me still?” He asked, snapping to try and get your attention back on the matter at hand, making you shake your head yes as you broke from your perverted thoughts. “Is that DN shit the only thing you took?” He asked again, making you shake your head yes once more, because you knew damn well your voice was going to betray you the moment you tried to speak. That had to be it, it was the only thing that was different out of it all and the only thing he’d never heard of before. He knew it wasn’t the vodka either because he was drinking it with you, so if it was affecting you, it would have affected him and it hadn’t.

It took him a minute to put two and two together before he finally realized the abbreviations stood for Date Night, reading the instructions and effects on the inside of the tin’s lid. “Shit..” he said as he read it, realizing this was a hand made thing thrown into the bunch by whoever was running this place. “Did you read the lid before you popped them pills?” He asked, making you go wide eyed. As if this couldn’t get any fucking worse, this shit show could have been avoided had you just read the inside of the lid. “There was instructions?? Oh my god…what the fuck did I take?” You asked, concerned for yourself and the tone he had while reading it. “Somethin’ that the creator of it called Date Night. Looks like it’s a…well looks like it’s a handmade sex chem” he said, making you cover your face with your hands out of sheer embarrassment, you’d never wanted to die out in a radstorm more than you did right now. “Please tell me you’re fucking joking, cooper…” you whined, watching him read it more. “How much of it did you take?” He asked, almost scared to know and you were scared to know why. “Two?” You replied, making him whistle at that as he read it. “Fuckin’ hell sugar..” he said through a chuckle, and that nickname made a shiver run through you, sending electric bolts straight to your throbbing cunt. You did your best to bite back the whimper. “You’re only s’possed take one, and with you bein’ new t’ all this, I wouldn’t have taken more than half” he said, making you just wish you could just dig a hole and die in it already. “Fuck me…wait, shit! N-Not literally fuck me I- well I mean I’d like if you did but…FUCK! Forgive me Cooper, I’m so sorry, I can hardly think straight” you said, making him chuckle. “Well sweetheart, I think you and I both know there’s only one good fix for this situation” he said, making you whimper pathetically at the thought, your thighs squeezing together even more as you tried to fight to stay sane. Your eyes cast downwards to his lap once more, seeing the tent forming in his pants, clearly you weren’t the only one all worked up here. “I don’t want to make you feel like you have to, Coop. I can run off and take care of myself if it makes you uncomfort-“ you rambled but before you could finish, his hand cupped the side of your face, pulling you in for a long awaited kiss. You moaned into it without meaning to, feeling the way your body immediately relaxed upon wrapping your arms around him with no hesitation as the sweet innocent kiss turned passionate and dirty rather quickly.

“I won’t lie t’ you, doin’ this with you has passed my mind more times than I’d care to admit, but I don’t wanna cross that line unless you really want this” he said, looking into your eyes and making sure that this was truly what you wanted, that you felt the same way he did. “Coop, I know I’m under the influence of whatever the fuck this drug is, but trust me when I say, I’d be just as good with it sober. Been thinking about it for probably just as long as you have, if I’m honest with you. I want this, I want you and right now I want you so fucking bad that I might lose my mind if you don’t fuck me” you answered bluntly, taking him by surprise at just the sheer amount of absolute filth that left your otherwise innocent mouth, making him chuckle at your use of curse words and how desperate you were for him. “That so sugar?” He asked with a grin, enjoying teasing you at your neediest moments, including now. “God yes, Cooper please..” you begged, nearly moaning in reply and he’d spent time mulling over it before, denying himself the chance but just as the chem stache was a pot of gold, he took this as one of the best opportunities being placed in his lap by whatever higher power existed out there, making him waste no time in kissing you once more. “Good, because I don’t think I’d be able to hold myself back once we’ve started” he said, and the idea made you moan. “Don’t want you to hold back, want all of you” you said, and your wish was his command.

By the time your brain could finally catch up with you again, your clothes were strewn out all around you, your tank top hanging over the back of the couch, your jeans thrown haphazardly on the arm rest behind you, his pants on the floor, his hat on the table and shirt and duster having fallen somewhere behind the couch. By now, you’d already cum on his fingers twice, and on his cock once, this was your fourth round and this shit still had you on fire. “Yes!! Oh fuck, Cooper!” you moaned as your legs wrapped around his hips, keeping him as close to you as you could get, your fingers digging crescent shapes and puffy red lines into his back that unfortunately he knew wouldn’t stay long thanks to his ability to heal stupidly fast. “Doin’ so good for me, baby doll. Look so pretty like this for me, all splayed out like a needy little whore” he praised and degraded through his groans, making you moan and roll your eyes into the back of your head at the praise mixed with degradation as his cock was drilling deep inside you like tonight was all you guys had. “Yeah, you like that, huh sweet thing? Like it when I tell you how good it feels and call you names?” He asked, making you nod your head yes because there wasn’t a single thought in that brain of yours other than his name, which you spoke like a mantra. “Never knew such a sweet lil’ thing like you would be such a dirty little minx. Fuck…enough to make a man like me go feral, ya know that?” he said, making you giggle as you moved his free hand up to your throat, urging him to choke you, and he groaned at the sight. Your kiss swollen lips all puffy and shining with spit, your cheeks dusted a constant pink that grew darker anytime his cock brushed that spot deep inside that made you cling to him, your eyes half lidded, looking up at him like he was your savior. It made him absolutely rock hard knowing you’d pick him over anyone else in this god forsaken wasteland. “My, you are just a little freak, ain’t you? Oh we are gonna have fun together, you and me honey” he promised, squeezing your throat tight enough to restrict your airflow but not enough to hurt or cause any damage. Just enough to get that puddle of a brain of yours all fuzzy as you got closer to your fourth orgasm of the night. “Cooper…’m so close, so close please!!” You begged, feeling the heavy drag of his cock as he pounded into you, leaving you damn near screaming as it nudged your cervix and that spongy little bundle of nerves deep inside. “Go on honey, I gotchya. Let go for me, wanna see those pretty faces and hear those pretty noises you make” he said, angling his hips just right to hit that spot over and over again. “Oh fuck, oh fuck I’m gonna cum again, I-“ you warned before your moans rose in pitch as your walls clamped around him, gushing on his cock as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. Your body arched off the couch, stars filling your vision for a moment as you felt your release gush out and coat your inner thighs, screaming his name like it was your only chance at salvation. “Well ain’t I just the damn luckiest man in the wastelands right now, got me a pretty little vaultie and she’s a gusher” he said, making you whimper at his teasing but judging by the way he emptied himself inside you for the second time, you took it as a sign that he liked that about you. “Holy shit, I-I didn’t know I could do that” you said, thoroughly shocked with what your brain and body were doing as they almost seemed to almost be working against each other. “Do it again for me” he said, grabbing you and moving you both to where you were straddling him this time. His hands rested on your hips, helping guide you as you speared yourself on his dick with ease from how absolutely soaked you were, making you both throw your head back and moan. “Now that’s a damn good sight” he said, making you lean in to kiss him once more as his hands helped you start and keep a steady rhythm with your hips. It was definitely going to be a long night, but one you two have been needing for months, maybe even longer.

It’s a good thing ghouls have remarkable recovery time, because in order to finally get you sated and back to normal, you both had to spend all night going at it. Granted, it was aided by the mix of pent up sexual tension and pent up sexual frustration, but it was dawn before you both had gotten to a point where you could even *try* and fall sleep. First few times was on the couch between missionary, doggy and you riding him, next was you bent over it, with your pretty legs spread and ass in the air for him. Then, you used the arm rest of the couch as a pillow beneath your hips as he stood up while you laid out on the couch. He liked that one a lot for the way your tits would bounce with each and every forceful thrust into you, jolting your body. After that, it was done standing up with your back pressed against a wall, your legs and arms wrapped around him to keep him deep inside of you and fill you til he had nothing left to give you. From that point on, the rest of the night was all a hormone-hazed blur, but you knew well that he took care of you. You woke up unbelievably sore, your joints aching in places that you had no idea could even ache, a swollen, angry throb between your legs for the harsh, almost punishing treatment to your pussy followed by bruises, bite marks, scratch marks, hand prints etc. littered your skin as you woke up curled into Cooper’s side. You gave a gravelly groan as the sun shone in your eyes through the windows, making him chuckle at the way you were such a ray of sunshine except in the morning. Coming to learn that you absolutely *hated* mornings. Though you suppose you started to enjoy them more since traveling with him. “Mornin’ sunshine” he said coyly, making you groan disapprovingly at the way the sun was in your eyes, making you hold your hand up to cast a shadow on your face and grant you some relief. “Morning” you answered, your voice hoarse and half gone from sleep and all your activities that transpired the previous night. “Ain’t that a pretty sight” he said, turning and seeing you curled up to him, naked, your hair all messy from sleep and the hickeys and bite marks littering your skin, making you chuckle. “Last night was definitely something, can’t believe you’ve been holding all *that* out on me” you joked, making him give a dry laugh. “Could say the same thing about you, sugar. Had no idea that mind a yours could be so filthy. You’re a wild thing to party with, lil’ lady” he teased, sliding his arm around you to keep you close, making you hum as you lay soft, appreciative kisses to his collarbone and chest. “You’re fun too, and thank you for taking care of me last night. I’m sorry that it ended up happening the way that it did, I wanted to work up the courage and tell you some other way, I really did, but I guess life had other plans” you said making him chuckle as he saw you blush when he kissed your head. “Drunk words are sober thoughts they say, so I’d say I made out pretty good. But don’t sweat it, not sure how I deserved someone as good as you, but it’s good to know I ain’t as hard to stomach as most people say” he said, pulling you in for a soft, heartfelt kiss. “I think you are just perfect, Cooper” you said, your hand resting on his scarred chest as you looked at him with that gaze he swore he’d do anything to see pointed his way.

“You really wanna be my girl?” He asked softly, sounding shocked and with some self doubt still lacing his tone, but he had to be sure this was what you wanted outside of the drug’s effects. He cared for you deeply, in a way that he hasn’t felt in a very long time, but maybe you were just the right person for him to finally open his heart up to. His question made you giggle as your heart fluttered in your chest with excitement. “I absolutely do, I meant it when I said it last night, I mean it just as much now. I think we’ve danced around it for long enough, don’t you?” you replied, making him smile the most genuinely happy smile you’ve seen him wear since you’d met. “Just checkin’” he said, before laying a sweet kiss to your lips, wishing every morning could be like this one. Maybe it could, now that you were here with him.

#fallout x reader #fallout smut #fallout #cooper howard smut #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard #sole survivor #cooper howard x you #the ghoul #the ghoul smut #the ghoul x reader #the ghoul x you #asks

[prncessjaeger]

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀིྀི

“c’monnnn you can’t miss work for 3 hours? besides any other day when we’re home we’re doing…other things around this time!” you held your pink bag decorated with hand tied bows, hair tied neatly in your signature ballerina bun and adorned in pink colored high priced athletic wear, “no baby i can’t…i have an important meeting in like 30 minutes and then a very important phone call afterwards and-”

you sighed, cutting him off and rolled your eyes, walking away from him mumbling, “you always put your work before me,” and grabbed your keys, “hey, we can go out to dinner afterwards if you’d like?”

“hard pass. see you later, love you.” you left your home feeling defeated, hoping one day your husband would finally attend to one of your ballet performances and get this! you received the lead role and even that couldn’t interest him into one of your shows. so, you tried listening to spirit lifting music to get your mood ready and pumped until you reached then venue, preparing yourself for the first night.

”oh goodie! you’re dressed, are you ready? i saw a cute someone walk in here with white lilies and tulips!” your brow furrowed at the stage director’s words, “who? definitenlyyyy not my husband he’s busy with work-“ you were cut off with a sound of claps and lights dimmming down,

“it’s time! places everyone!”

જ⁀➴₊⊹ 🎀

when the last act was finished, you and your castmates bowed together receiving many flowers thrown on the stage. you went back to grab your things from the green room, noticing the other girls belongings disappear from the vanities and sighed, wondering if you should’ve taken up the dinner idea with your husband.

your husband, who scared the absolute shit out as he sat in your vanity chair and smirks at you, “what in the world are you-” he puts his finger on your lip? shush-ing you quickly, “hi my love! beautiful show you out in out there? absolutely beautiful.” he rose up and hugged your shocked figure, “what’re you-…how did you-?”

“ehh pulled a few strings, rescheduled some other things .” he shrugged like it was the easiest thing in the world, “but you said…?”

“that i couldn’t come? yeah i genuinely could not have came, but that doesn’t mean i wouldn’t have came either, c’mon this is your first lead role and you’d think i would’ve missed it? crazy.” he leaned down and peck your plump lips that were pouted, twice and handing you two sets of gorgeous white flowers, “tulips and lilies, your faves unless you changed them in the span of 4 hours hm?”

“n-no, i didn’t- these are beautiful baby! but, are you sure I looked beautiful onstage?” your eyes sparkle from your subtle glitter eye makeup, warming up your husbands heart, “yes, stunning even… in fact,” his hands removed your bag and belongings from your shoulders, sitting them down neatly on the floor and wrapped his arm around your waist and his hand cupped your jaw.

he stared at you lovingly, engulfing you into a passionate kiss and held you tenderly in your arms. your lips moved perfectly against his as his thumb caressed your cheek. he then kissed your exposed neck so soft to the point that it tickled which caused cute giggles to leave your mouth, “what’s funny?”

“nothing-hehehe, nothing baby look how about we go to that dinner you recommended earlier?” you could see his face fall, “you said no earlier or wait- it was actually, “hard pass” so i canceled it.” he mocked you then flinched when your hand raised to hit him, “fine…takeout?”

“takeout it is.”

#i don’t like thiss #but i loveeeeee nanami kento✊🏽 #had those 2 in mind (and rafe ofc but like…business man!rafe) #and possibly erwin too i guess…kinda sorta #rafe cameron x reader #nanami x reader #ballerina!reader #aot erwin x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #rafe cameron #jujutsu kaisen nanami #rafe outer banks #fluff #rafe x reader #jujutsu nanami #nanami kento #erwin smith #aot fanfiction #jjk nanami #rafe imagine #aot x black reader #aot x y/n #rafe obx

[vintagenahbi]

HOME pt.1

Jin x Reader

Summary: You and Jin discover that you are expecting your first child, but are faced with challenges that neither of you could imagine.

Warnings: topics related to pregnancy that could be considered controversial.

Jin and the guys were about to start shooting In the Soop when I got the news I would be allowed on set with them. I had been dating Jin for two years now, but never got the chance to see him in his work element. I was so busy with work myself that I rarely had the time to visit him or even know what all went on behind the scenes.

Unfortunately, I had been sick for the past two weeks and Jin did not feel comfortable leaving me home. Since I had moved to South Korea alone, I didn’t have anyone to care for me, leaving the only option of going on set. It was entirely Jin’s idea to have me near him in case my sickness worsened.

When we arrived, everything was going smoothly for me. I made it to my room which was separate from the main house so I wouldn’t be seen by any of the cameras. I had my own space that Jin could come see me anytime, not to mention the beautiful view outside my window. Although I felt a little isolated I didn’t mind. It was peaceful being in nature, not having to work and only focusing on getting better. Plus I got to spend some time with Jin.

I put on my lounge wear and got into bed immediately after unpacking. I had been exhausted, I had flu symptoms that were out of this world. Some days all I could do was stay hunched over the toilet for hours at a time. After a while it started to take a toll on my body causing me to be tired all the time. I knew once my head hit my pillow I was going to be out like a light.

I heard a soft knock at my door. I sat up to see Jin’s head peaking through. I smiled as he walked his way over to me. He sat on the bed with his long slender frame. He looked at me with his stare lingering down to my lips. I quickly pressed my lips against his causing him to blush. He pulled me in for a hug, pushing me down back on the bed attacking me with kisses. I started to giggle.

“I’m so glad you’re here with me. I wish you felt a little better though.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. As I was about to kiss him, I felt the sudden urge to throw up. I moved him away, rushing into the bathroom. I lifted the toilet seat up and all the contents from my stomach came rushing out. Jin stood behind me rubbing my back. I tried to apologize but I was too sick to even speak.

I heard Jin sigh. Being this sick was almost unbearable. I had never felt this bad in my life. I wanted to cry and apologize, but nothing ever came out.

We heard someone yell out Jin’s name to signal him to come back for a side interview. He rubbed my back one more time kissing my forehead. He left the bathroom. I curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor simply because I was too weak to get up. I started to cry because having no control over my body for two weeks was causing me to suffer. Then it suddenly dawned on me. The light bulb went off and I gathered the strength to figure out what was behind this sudden illness.

I sat on the bed holding the slender object in my hand. Hours had passed and I had not seen Jin since earlier. I heard on a knock on the door and it was Jin. I hide the object in my hoodie pocket. I grabbed his hand and walked him over to the bathroom again. I turned off his mic as if I was a secret informant who couldn’t have this conversation get to anyone else.

I took the object out my pocket and handed it to Jin. He looked at it. I watched his expression closely. Nothing changed. Absolutely no reaction. He handed it back to me.

“Jin say something.” He ran his hand through his hair.

“We can’t.” Those words cut me like a knife. “We can’t have a kid right now. The timing is not good.” I looked at him shocked. His facial expression shifted from panic to a realization of what he had said. “I didn’t mean that.”

“So I’m gonna have to raise this baby alone? Like you said it’s not a good time for you.” I shoved him away. He grabbed my arm and wrapped his arms around me. I cried against his shoulder. He held me close almost as if it were for dear life. I could feel his breathing quicken and his heart was pounding.

Jin pulled me away and rubbed his thumb against my cheek. I cleaned my nose with the sleeve of my hoodie. He lifted my chin to look up at him. I could tell he was about to get serious. Before he could speak I cut him off.

“I want this baby.” He had no verbal response, he only pulled me back in for a long embrace.

“I want it too. I’m sorry I reacted that way, it’s just that it’s sudden. I thought I’d be married first. I thought you’d get to know my family better, not to mention I haven’t met yours yet. I thought it would be different.” I nodded my head in agreement. I thought it would be different as well, but these were the cards we were dealt. It was starting to make sense. All the sickness, me barely being able to stay awake during work, constantly bloated.

He grabbed my hand and took me over to the bed. We laid down and cuddled for a while. The entire time he kept his hand on my stomach, nearly imagining what was about to be. Jin checked his phone and saw that he had 5 missed messages telling him to come back to the main house. He left again and I was stuck there to face the reality alone. My mind excited, my body weak.

The next day I managed to go unseen. I got a ride to the doctors so that Jin and I could confirm if I was really pregnant. The doctor gave me the news I was already expecting. I was 9 weeks pregnant, however I was blindsided when I immediately found out this pregnancy could cost me mine and the baby’s life. I sat on that doctor’s chair frozen. The drive back I felt absolutely numb.

I got back into my room and crawled into bed. The room was spinning and everything felt like it was a dream. Jin walked in without knocking this time to make sure I was okay.

“What did the doctor say?” Jin said inquisitively.

“He said that it’s a high risk pregnancy. I could have this baby but there is a-“ I paused for a moment to clear the lump out of my throat. “There is a chance that I and/or the baby might die.” The last word nearly took Jin’s breath away. He sat on the bed immediately taking in the news he just heard. “Before you say anything, I still think we should keep this baby.” He looked at me with a stern face. He rubbed his tongue on his inner cheek to contain what I assumed was anger.

“No.”

“Jin, I want this baby.”

“No Y/N, our story isn’t going to end with me losing you. You can’t. I don’t want you to. I can’t lose the thing that jolted me back to reality. I’m not losing you.” I started to get teary eyed. I understood his pain. Although it had been two years of dating, I had found my best friend. Now there was a chance that that would be taken from the both of us or we would have to grieve the pain of losing a baby.

“Jin.” I whispered. He looked at me with tears flowing down his cheek. The door suddenly opened and we both looked. It was a PA telling Jin to go back again. He collected himself and stood up. Before he left the room he turned back to look at me.

“I can’t lose you Y/N.”

Part Two is now available to read

#bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts reactions #bts reader #bts x reader #bts #bts jin #jin x reader #jin imagine #jin #kim soekjin #soekjin x reader #bts soekjin

[artsy-hobbitses]

Just finished watching X-Men 97 Ep 7 (I love having a series to look forward to on a weekly basis again! Excited to get a good dinner and sit down for half and hour of getting WHIPLASHED by all the new reveals and emotions. It's such a nice thing to look forward to inthe mid-week slog as well)!!!

Thoughts and spoilers below!

They REALLY went all out with Gambit's funeral, and it was nice seeing Nightcrawler carrying out priest rites for the brother-in-law he could have had. Jubilee's anguished anger at Rogue not being there HURT

Holy shit ROGUE. VERY Rogue-centric episode, and it's pain pain PAIN evbery other minute. Her absolute disdain for Captain America not wanting her to be on his team to check out Gyrich because of the tense situation/'optics' is 100% understandable, I stand by women's rights and Rogue's Wrongs in this case. Also her backhanding him with the "America's Top Cop" label, she taking no prisoners this week.

Beast gently but sternly calling out Trish the reporter about how 'tolerance' simply isn't enough anymore and it was a low bar to set for mutant-human relations to begin with, and how he's aghast at the idea of having to give a calming/professional sound byte or something to try and quell mutant protests and demonstrations worldwide after what happened, after MILLIONS OF THEM DIED is. Very relevant. To certain current events. He's been trying SO HARD to be the sweet, professional one, but he is tired and he is sad and he doesn't have it in him to ask for the bare minimum anymore or tell his people they don't have the right to feel the way they do.

We get Diamond Emma! No clue as to whether the massacre has changed her outlook on life since her appearance was during a brief rescue moment where Cyclop's hopes that Madelyne could have survived (Jean said she could feel a telepath under all the rubble) got crushed, but hopefully that'll be answered in the next ep!

Sunspot finally coming clean to his mum about him being a mutant! She seems like a very sweet lady who clearly loves him and takes it VERY WELL, but immediately she's like "Our family is established and in the spotlight, your father's business can't afford this sort of publicity. The world won't accept you, especially given what happened, so we have to find a way to hide this from the public, and that includes cultivating a list of people you can associate with". Which feels like it could be relevant to today's queer acceptance where it's like "On a personal basis I love you and accept you for who you are, BUT..." as an evolution from the X-Men movie's "Have you ever tried... not being a mutant?"

There is a LOT of talk about 'optics' in this episode, which feels VERY TIMELY. And VERY POINTED. How President Kelly apparently wants to send aid to Genosha, but doesn't do it to the fullest extent because he's worried about the political optics from 'normal humans' who are now afraid of an all out human-mutant war, and argues that he's doing his best here and that he needs suppport to stay in office to ensure a 'worse' person for mutant advocacy doesn't step in (I'm not going to lie. Very Democrat argument for why their man should stay in office---look at the boogieman who might be there if they aren't, instead of dealing with issues head-on) . And Cyclops's civil but seething rage at that because this is NOT a time for subtleties or politicking MILLIONS OF MY PEOPLE ARE DEAD.

Nightcrawler comforting Rogue and letting her just bawl openly in his arms during Day of the Dead ;; My heart.

Rogue kills a man. Or, helps him to his death, I'm not sure how you categorize this when Trask was already attempting to jump off a building out of guilt anyway, and she stepped in to stop him, only to let go when he said he had no other info for her (she had initially told him to help them to redeem himself). Again, 100% understandable, I support Rogue's Wrongs, and I LOVE how dark they're taking this, watching our girl step closer and closer to the abyss from her rage and grief and just plunging into it. Also her screaming that Trask deserved it for killing a great man, "MY MAN!!!!!". Whoof.

KNEW Mags wasn't dead. Going to be fun seeing WHAT Bastion plans to do with him now.

Again, STELLAR episode, a good 9/10 from me!

#x men 97 #x-men 97 spoilers

[stilljuststardust]

Do you have any tips on changing my mindset? I’ve gotten a reading done and asked around and people keep saying that my mindset is holding me back and that I want to believe in this but I just don’t 100%, and they’re absolutely right.

The problem is- I don’t know how to fix that. As I said, I *want* to believe, I really do, and consciously I know it’s true, but it’s like my subconscious doesn’t want to agree.

Thanks for reading!

-Parrot

Hi Parrot, it's so good to hear from you!

Your subconscious doesn't disagree with you it's just catching up. The subconscious mind ONLY knows what you tell it. It doesn't have senses YOU are the only way it can process the world.

That's why it matters what you think and what you tell it, because that's ALL it knows. What you tell it becomes true. The subconscious will stay loyal to what you tell it. If you repeat that you will shift you will.

Pay attention to the stories you're telling yourself. What narratives have you been repeating? Are you identifying with the version of yourself who can't shift or the one that can?

I would recommend robotic affirmations + a mental diet.

What's that? Basically you repeat affirmations (it doesn't matter how you feel when you say them that's why it's robotic) and practice discipline with your thoughts.

Example: "What if I don't- nope! Doesn't matter, I will."

You don't have to feel it while you say it you JUST have to stick with it.

I personally just use the affirmations, I have shifted, I will shift, I am in my DR.

You can do it for around 10 minutes but some people do it all day. You can do it right when you wake up and go to sleep, at different times throughout the day, or when you're doing a boring task.

#loa blog #loa tumblr #shiftblr #shifting antis dni #reality shifting #shifting community #shifting #shifting realities #shifting reality #desired reality

[bawbawbridgie]

third addition of going through some absolute insane changes wooooo!!! also the last one was soooo long so I promise this one will be shorter. this one is albus’ new lines with harry. there is no og script i can compare it to as they are completely new lines. 

Slytherin dormitory scene - 

Current: 

Albus: You shouldn’t have forced us apart dad. Scorpius matters to me. You know that don’t you?

Harry: I’m beginning to understand that. 

Last scene - 

Current: 

Albus: You do know right, that Scorpius is the most important person in my life, and he might always be the most important? 

Harry: I know and I like it. In fact I really like him. And if Scorpius is the most important person in your life, then I’d say that is a very good thing. 

Albus Severus Potter, I know what you are. We are all aware that these lines were added in for the new version of this play. This places an emphasis on these two boys, and especially what scorpius means to albus, as the OG script doesn’t touch on the importance of scorpius in his life. If this doesn’t confirm that this new script was purposely changed for the benefit of this relationship, I don’t know what will!

The first scene comes after the whole V-World universe. Harry and Albus’ relationship is difficult, as we know, and for albus to say that is a very important milestone for him. As it’s clear throughout that harry never truly understands his son. Albus is trying to communicate to his dad that scorpius means so much to him and that keeping them away from each other ruined their lives. I also kinda feel this line is albus almost trying to come out to him?

The last scene is read and interpreted as a coming out scene for albus. And yes I know this is my own opinion but I know for a fact that one of the casts throughout the run of this play said that their harry and albus actors chose to play it as a coming out scene (I don’t want to disclose who because it was a private conversation!). 

Even without this confirmation, you can just feel it as you have this 14 year old boy having a deep talk with his dad and decides to just say this out of nowhere. Not only is it albus wanting harry to accept and understand him, I think it also allows albus to finally accept his feelings for his best friend as throughout it’s evident he tries to ignore it. 

ok so maybe this was still a long post but i have to do these 2 beautiful lines justice! 

#absolutely dreading talking about the palace scene as i just have so much to say so be prepared for that #don’t forget that scorpius is the most important person in albus’ life #and they were boyfriends #cursed child #hpcc #harry potter and the cursed child #albus severus potter #scorpius malfoy #albus potter x scorpius malfoy #albus x scorpius #scorbus #harry potter

[thedeafprophet]

I’m reading the thread your meme was used in, and…why so much hatred for Revolutionaries and Liberationists? I’d assume it was personal taste or silly responses, were it not for how genuinely vitriolic it can get. They make it sound like evil star gods who eat humanity are preferable to people making the world a bit darker and a bit freer. Is. Is there something I’m not getting here?

*deep sigh* frankly, i dont get it all either

If I am to give others the benefit of the doubt, I would hope to presume some folks simply get too far into their roleplaying of their characters. since their characters absolutely despise anything to do with the revs and being a decent person, that spirs onto into vitriolic behaviour and far too into constantly hating on and shit talking the revs.

to a certain extent i think, especially in the echo chamber it can become, they dont really get how this comes across to other people, especially those who like the revs. (I had a particular convo with a guy on reddit who i blocked for posting anti liberation conent... and then proceeded to dm me, when i have never talked to them before, questioning me on why. seemed geniuenly baffled that i would have found the anti-revs post unwanted and said they thought the back and forth was 'all in good humour'. of which it is certainly not to me, having had violent 'jokes' directed towards me in past conversations)

If I am. to be a little less charitable. I think this is sometimes shining a less then ideal light on the moral insights of these folks.

Look - im not saying people cant like villains or play evil characters, i mean, im literarly mr fires' pr manager and post about the captivating princess all the time lmao.

But when you're constantly talking about 'how dare workers ever ask for rights' and constantly making out the revs to be horrid immoral monsters (even going as far as to call it 'kind of sick' when the writing has changed its LoN writing to be less in bad faith) it kind of paints a bit of a picture in my mind. At a certain point there really is no other explanation then people being needless edgelords with 'centrists' views promoting the concept that revolutionaries are evil.

perhaps its a bit of a balance of the two - theres many different people around in the fandom, and i of course dont want to make assumptions. but man is it hard as a revs fan when you cant even make a pro rev joke without someone suggesting you should be decapitated. shits rough

tldr: there's nothing you're missing, thats just what these people do

#sorry if its a bit of a non-answer theres just... not really a solid answer here #also the whole thing with the early writing approaching all the revs suff in bad faith doesnt help #the early writing is Not To Be Trusted with rev characters #and no one has bothered to update their view #asks

[seabird-bard]

about to do a luca wordvomit sorry sorry

i just saw someone saying that luca was "queerbaiting" or like. an example of writers/executives being to afraid to write queer romance, and while that may or may not be true (given the context, like how maybe a year after that film came out those pixar employees wrote that one letter) i actually think that luca is impressive and impactful because it isn't a romance-- it exists within a pre-romance, and because of that, it hits that much harder.

also they aren't canon just because kenna jean harris made fanart of them but that's another conversation. back to my actual point:

viewing luca through a queer lens, there is SO much to be found that is immensely relatable to the queer experience-- primarily, what it's like to grow up gay. you have the concerned, fearful mother; you have the supportive relative and ally friend; the bullies, the mentor-- and more importantly, you have that one person that absolutely changed everything.

i'm not going to say that this is a universal experience-- everyone's journey is different. but i am going to say that this is something that is incredibly common, even more so within queer media-- and luca is just another example of this. no doubt about it-- alberto's presence in the film is one that is both vital to the plot and to the allegory that the story presents.

it's almost common to joke about life-ruining/world-altering homoerotic friendships in online queer spaces. that's probably why the film was so relatable to a lot of queer people, myself included. not only that, but the way the characters are written-- when i joke about this film being the pixar fish version of "call me by your name" i'm not actually all-the-way kidding. this film, i feel, is so intertwined with queerness and the experience of growing up queer that it's really difficult to look at it and go, "okay, but they're not gay."

THAT BEING SAID. they shouldn't have been canonized. like, ever. that would have ruined the allegory luca presents. purposeful or not, whether the writers really did want to make them a thing, they shouldn't have been. i'm really glad they're not.

i'm not saying that every queer story ends in heartbreak. but i am saying that it's common for those pre-teen/teenaged formative experiences-- the ones where you're young and inexperienced and unsure because what if dad found out? or mom? those stories, those connections, they are almost bound to break your heart.

luca paints a picture of a story just like that. luca has a deep fascination for something that's forbidden. he takes a chance, befriends someone-- alberto, who's already crossed over into this other land-- and falls in love with all of it. he goes to great lengths to hide this from his parents. when they find out, they try to send him away to a place that will try to permanently change him and his perception of what he actually wants, so he decides to run away with this other, braver person instead.

they go to a town that's unwelcoming to a fatal extent. they have to stay hidden to survive. they make a friend-- but they can't even trust her, at first, since her father is one of the people that wants their kind dead. i could go on and on and on-- the point is, this all reads queer. allegorically, or within the film itself.

and the ending, the goodbye-- it's bittersweet, because this is something they're not ever going to be able to replicate. this has changed all of the characters, internally, in every way-- but especially the main two. it always gets me choked up, because i know that feeling. and a lot of other queer people do, too.

basically, they're not REALLY gay, but aren't they? when you watch luca as a queer film, everything gets so much worse, because the "what-could-have-been," or even the "what-could-be" becomes so glaringly obvious and beautifully awful. and it's GREAT. why would i want them to be boyfriends within the story itself, when what we're presented with already is so much more complicated and gut-wrenching, especially when you contextualize it with the time period? why would i want fanon luberto to be canon when canon luberto already fucking slaps?

tldr: luca and alberto are only kind of gay. the vague platonic-ness of the nature of their relationship plays to the strengths of the story itself. i am absolutely obsessed with this film

sorry if some of this is a little incoherent i refuse to proofread byebye

#pixar luca #luberto #THIS TOOK SO LONG WHAT THE HELLL #anyways read if you want i just needed to put this somewhere #i have a lot of feelings about this film </3

[andromeda3116]

"One day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald, I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I'm sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged onto a half-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature's wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."

--Lord Vetinari, Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett

#discworld #gnu terry pratchett #lord vetinari #havelock vetinari #discworld quotes #i love that philosophy and feel it in my gut and bones: #''if there is a higher power then it's our prerogative to be better than it'' #like that quote from nation about the gods letting you down and how kneeling to them would be bowing to murderers and bullies #or the whole theme of small gods where the higher power needs to learn to care about the people he demands worship from #pratchett often returns to this theme of ''what do you do when your god(s) fail you?'' #and having once felt like my god absolutely failed me - although i didn't have the words to see it like that at the time - that resonates #i've said before that that was such a revelation: those were the words of my last unanswered prayer #i have many intellectual reasons now to be an atheist but at the core it's... #if the universe is chaos then it cannot be cruel. there is no one who could have saved you but didn't for their own opaque reasons #if there is no god then no god failed me or left me drowning in despair for a whole year #small gods helped me conceptualize that in ways that defy words and literally changed my life and perspective for the better #anyway. this quote is magnificent. ''mother and child feasting upon mother and child'' #and it makes so much of vetinari's character make so much sense #he looked at the world through cynical and bitter eyes but instead of becoming a nihilist who manipulated the cruel world for his own gain #he said ''we can and must be better than this'' #(this is why i feel like kaz brekker - under inej's influence - should grow up to be like havelock vetinari) #(the one who clenches his fist and fucking *fixes* this goddamned place)

[ruelpsen]

the urge to post about the character currently giving me brainrot (canonically fat, hot, bi-coded) vs. the fear of recognition (they are niche enough that people in separate circles would recognize me here if I talk too openly about said character since there are few quite as obsessed about them as I am)

#liking niche characters and having niche kinks is hell #too scared to talk too openly and the h/orny content i want to see isn't already out there? man... #i could absolutely write about them but again. fear of recognition. there might be some workarounds worth looking into though #(like anon posting on a/o3. that i might do.) #something something be the change you want to see in the world #anyway i also have to say that while watching bloopers from the show said character is from there is an outtake where they burp and uh. #i stumbled across that completely by chance and i did not expect it at all. thank goodness i was alone bc i lost my fucking mind. #it sounded so satisfying too... like damn they were already hot for many reasons and that made them like 5000% hotter #londarling

[frecklystars]

hey have you heard of the adventure time Fiona and Cake spin off? the trailers and sneak peaks dropped recently, and it's going to be airing on August 31!

I SCREAMED. PRINCE GUMBALL MY BELOVED??? HE LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL 😭😭😭 I HOPE NPH RETURNS TO VOICE HIM AGAIN AHHH!!!! I LOVE THAT HE'S SURROUNDED BY BAKERY STUFF IN A COFFEE SHOP LIKE HE'S TRUE TO HIS ORIGINAL CONCEPT ART HE'S ALWAYS MEANT TO BE INTO BAKING AND SWEETS 🥺🥺 OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM AND HIS JELLYBEAN EYEBROWS I LOVE HIM SOOOOO MUUUUUCH

AND LOOK AT FIONNA OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 SHE GIVES ME SUCH BEE AND PUPPYCAT VIBES, TEMP WORKER WANTING TO ESCAPE INTO ANOTHER WORLD WITH HER WEIRD CAT. AUGH LOOK AT HOW PRETTY HER HAIR IS. SHE IS SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL

AND MARSHALL LEE????????????? THE LITTLE BAT ON HIS GUITAR??????????????????

CATCH ME AUGUST 31ST FUCKING FREAKING IT

#anonymous #asks #ALSO IM SO SO SO HAPPY YOU ASKED ME!!!!!!!!!!!! #I USED TO BE SO. [clenches fists] SO INTO ADVENTURE TIME #I had a blog dedicated to my OC Water Princess who i shipped with Finn #AND FIONNA #and I know I'm gonna draw Rainy with Fionna again like the old days #YOU KNOW IM GONNA DRAW MYSELF W/ MY BISEXUAL BOYFRIENDS #PG AND ML.................... oh my god i loved PG so much he was my number one main F/O at one point #and now I can't wait to throw myself back into that #hmm. well. wait. are they still adults in this series or are they changing the boys to be teenagers #PG and ML were always adults like PB and Marcy but. new show. idk if they're still adults?? #[squints] i have a feeling theyre ALL adults bc it looks like Fionna lives by herself #....... #eh I guess we'll find out #if they all turn out to be teenagers then of course disregard everything i said entirely lmfao #but either way I will be drawing Fionna with Rainy again. u can mark my WORDS #Water Princess loves her fun blonde adventurer significant other #OH MY GOD WHAT WOULD RAINY LOOK LIKE IN THIS WORLD. HER NAME WOULDNT BE RAINY #wait no Rainy is genderfluid she WOULD absolutely name herself after a weather pattern. but it'd be spelled Rani or smth #also watch this series make me finally take the plunge to ship with Simon #he looks like a complete WRECK i cant wait to see him falling apart #TOM KENNY GIVE ME THAT BEAUTIFUL VOICE ACTING #anon you made my day im so happy you wanted to ask me ;w;

[fourteenthz]

LOVE AND PEACE ON FUCKING PLANET EARTH

#kelly plays ykz #yakuza 0 spoilers #I'm stopping now its like 7am I prefer to believe they are going to have a dinner and plan a trip to Europe and never come back actually #IM SO OBSESSES WITH THEM IT'S MAKING ME SICK IN THE HEAD #i didn't start this game expecting anything other than brother^tm but you know what. IF #they every single one of majima's old boss can say tell this guy has feelings maybe i can too. yeah. YEAH. #OBSESSED SO BAD with chapter 16 first cutscene... he has absolutely NO hesitation in running up to her. #and the second she goes past him he immediately refuses to let her go. #ITS SO INSANE how he has been so lifeless the last chapter and accepting his fate as a pawn for the next one #to show that fucking face he makes while looking at her. ITS SO WEIRD IN A FANTASTIC WAY my man is having too many feelings he can't #she** can't even see it and it KILLS ME bc he is making the world's puppiest eyes at her IM SO AUAAGAHHAHH SLAMMING MY HEAD ON THE TABLE #I NEED THEM. TO BE. SO NORMAL RN. I NEED THEM TO HAVE SUCH NORMAL DINNER RN. #I'm stopping playing bc i'm not sure that's going to happen so enough tears for today but I JUST. REALLY NEED THEM. #TO HAVE DINNER. HOLDING HANDS. AND THAT'S IS. CAN SOMEONE HEAR ME. #she really is like my top3 favorite characters in this damn game I adore this woman to death. #feeling so majima by his sigh in realief as soon as she stopped walking away when she tripped. the way his damn face changes from pained to #'IDEA!' and imediatelly offers to take her out........................... i'm so unwell at this momento. #I thought if they met again I wouldn't be able to trust majima bc he was so set in being a damn pawn in the previous chapter but man..... #the amount of thoughts behind his eye everytime he looked at her. if they end up playing that as him bring in pain #bc he has to win her over im going to kll a guy. there's no way NO WAY U HEARD ME #thry are literally my everything. there is NO way she is going to survive this game and I'm trying sk damn hard to get #used to that idea but it just sucks i love her so much. and thw worst part i have no idea what's up with majima on the other games #is her dying being his villain storie??? his hero redemption? HELL IF I KNOW. IS SHE EVEN DYING FR?? #i truly think they could get away wih shipping her to another country. and it would make sense for majima to insist her to go. #but oh I doubt so hard they are giving me anything but pain with my favorite relationships in this game. i really do. #until then..... lying down in bed.... thoughts abt majima soft expression at her.... abt the weight her voice #carries rn.... abt the way he said 'hey' and she said 'you think I'm emotional because I'm hungry again'..... they. are. so. #the way they dont even give a choice to walk faster when she is accompanying majima. #I have such low standards at this point. if they don't at least hold hands again i will cry. #he doesn't need to guide her around anymore so... u see my vision? him asking for her hand bc he wants to... hello?

[tommyssupercoolblog]

not putting the reblog banner on this one bc it would feel disrespectful. anyway big fucking mood, felt in my soul. trying SO HARD not to think abt the drama rn.

#tommy's og art wow #tommy's OG ART wow #my hot take is that the VICTIM deserves support and is 100% valid. that was abusive. but that being said #this doesn't make THE GUY (iykyk) irredeemable forever because people can change; but- THE VICTIM still deserves #support and her experiences were absolutely horrible. no one deserves to be treated like that. my only hope is that 1) she heals #and 2) that THE GUY learns to have healthy relationships and not abuse others- finding other ways to deal with his mental illness. #he's been open about being toxic for awhile now; self awareness IS the first step to change but he seems to be resigned to it #but this behavior ISN'T inevitable. his mental illnesses absolutely make him prone to this #but healing- and becoming someone who wouldn't do this- isn't impossible. it'll always be something he can reach one day if he really tries #but clearly he's not there yet and shouldn't be like...in relationships (/r or /p) until he figures this out. and he needs to figure it out #THE VICTIM has all my love in the world. may she have happiness and healing in the future. this was like rlly awful #and to anyone who struggles with behaviors like that- you still matter and you won't be like this forever. but being afraid isn't enough #fear of being abusive isn't the same as taking pratical steps to ensure you don't repeat that cycle and hurt others. #recognition is the first step #but you have to brainstorm what you can do. how you can practice. how you can get better. and i believe you can. i believe anyone can. #lets hope my tags dont get cut off lol #anyway. yeah

[arollofmirrors]

The most tragic part of my Weird Al obsession is that even if I knew someone who wouldn't judge me for talking about him, I'd never be able to just rant on and on without stopping to explain what I'm talking about.

Like, I know way too much random trivia about this guy's career. And because he's on the more niche side of things that means that I'll probably never find a person who knows anywhere near as much as me.

It pains me to know I can never just say "Yeah, Regular Al is super cursed, am I right?" without then explaining to them what Hanson and MTV Unplugged was and how Al connects to both.

#weird al #this is my First World Problem #also can we all agree MTV Unplugged/Regular/Normal/Norm Al is cursed or am I in the minority here? #I've seen so many people talk like “Wow he looks kinda handsome with that haircut. #He'd look so much better if he just got rid of those stupid glasses and changed his ugly hair.“ #like no #you monster #you absolute fiend #go to the time-out corner where you belong and think long and hard about what you said #I don't want you near me or my nonexistent children

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#argentina saw trump and went ''yeah we want one of those!''... #this absolutely insane man might become president and fully ruin the country (more than it already is) #which is never fun but even worse when you're queer... #today i'm glad i'm living with dysphoria every day but haven't started T #because as sad and absolutely awful as what i'm about to say is... #i can pretend to be a cis woman for safety... #which is a HORRIBLE thing to say or do #but i don't have to put myself out there trying to get hrt or anything like that #or legally change my name and gender mark while looking like i look... that might get me killed or something #bare in mind everything i'm saying A. hasn't happened yet #and B. is being said by someone with an anxiety disorder who can't see hope right now... so take it with a grain of salt #i'm just scared and i don't like the state of the world right now... #and we were somewhat safe in some aspects here and we're so close to losing them now #i'm scared and hate it here but i'm also broke and can't leave so... #we are where we are where we are i guess #angel talks #personal #sorry for the politics... i'm not going to start posting politics #the point of my blog is to escape the hell that is the real world... but i needed to vent and also you know me i love screaming at the void

[lemonduckisnowawake]

Reading Worlds Behind (spoilers for it and CB to follow) is really making me realize how there are so many people who are simply too hopeless (Athelas) or resigned (YeoWoo) or dead inside (Harrow) to seek redemption. Sometimes, you really Cannot reach out and even try to change...and because of that, you need someone to come to you and reach their hand out to you.

But, "someone" is also human. They're also people with limitations and their own struggles. Some might be able to take on more but there will always still be a limit, and so what if you're the type to have pushed that limit and (as a result, like Athelas with Zero and Pet) push said person away?

And look. I am NOT theologically trained, but I'm gonna say it anyway (though please take it with discretion and Nuance). It's why we NEED Christ. He will not get tired of you no matter how far you've gone. He'll never stop reaching out to you, as long as you're alive (and even when we were dead in our sins, for that matter), even if you don't reach out to Him. It doesn't matter how filthy of a sinner - how repulsive you are or feel to other people - because He WILL keep reaching out in the ways He can. Because He is a person who doesn't have limits on what He can take AND is also a God who will not falter in His goodness and justice and mercy as He deals with sin. Yes, we have to be willing to change and to accept Him; but it's in the same way you accept a friend who is reaching out to you when you're totally unresponsive. You can wake up a little from that care and reject the acceptance....or embrace it and be healed. But, heh, what do I know....

#unfortunately i feel for all these characters #yeowoo and athelas and harrow and not yet camellia though i absolutely LOVE her #but yeah. redemption really is a gift when you think about it #also sorry to ramble about cb but i started getting self conscious doing it to people and decided to dump thoughts here xD #please. though. take my theology with a grain of salt #yes i do think i meant what i said in truth but i may be Wrong in some ways #lemon duck quacks #worlds behind #the greatest story told #i have so many thoughts on redemption and second chances and wanting to change but being stained by your past #and I've only read book 1 and the atart of book 2 #and i STILL could go for hours about YeoWoo and what I'm suspecting for her arc