#you will accept this from me and nothing else for at least 6 months

[circeyoru]

Unwanted Soul _ Part 7 = Requested

[Yandere!Alastor x Owner of his Soul!Reader]

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 2.5 (ask) — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6 — Part 7 (here)

It’s been around a few good months since the attack on the hotel, everything has been quiet around the hotel and you’ve been adapting well to the residents of the hotel. Since you were technically a staff member. Plus, since you’ve confessed to Alastor, things didn’t change much

Was what you wanted to say

You find yourself pulled out of your comfort zone when you’re set to have some form of duty. Then there was your little self-imposed obligation to go on dates with Alastor that suited him. While you were happy Alastor was enjoying your time, you can’t help but find yourself drained by the end of it

Not to mention Charlie’s insistent of your inclusion in her various activities. You really really preferred to be in the comforts of your room watching aime and reading manga or manhwa or whatever they are called

Still though, Alastor always knew when you were burn out from socializing and would put a stop to your suffering. Followed by a relaxing cuddling and anything you prefer. His attitude and behaviour towards you didn’t change all that much if you don’t count the increased intensity and the easiness of making him flustered

Because you and Alastor were a ‘confirmed item’, there were a lot of teasing from the hotel members to which Alastor prides himself on blocking off and you let him. Though there was an odd dynamic between Alastor and Lucifer

What you could describe as a parent or father judging his child’s lover type of deal. An example was you leaning against Alastor while on the lobby couch then Lucifer comes sitting next to you as well and moved you so that you were leaning on him. Or another where they were both preparing your meal and had a contest over, but because they took too long, you made your cup noodles

It was all weird and all, though nothing to stress over. You like staying at the hotel all the same, even though your friendship with them isn’t all that strong compared to what you share between Alastor or Lucifer

“You know, Pager, it got me thinking.” Lucifer started. It was a random quiet and slow day, as rare as it is, Alastor was out in Cannibal Town to gossip with Rosie. Of course he told everyone else he had important business to attend to.

“Yeah? You’re not thinking of making another library themed duck collection, right?” You gave him a suspicious gaze, looking up from your novel. “I’m not accepting those. I have like… a whole shelf of them back home.”

Lucifer awkwardly chuckled, “Okay, I mean, no! Of course not.”

You gave him a look of pure doubt. “If you gave me some and Alastor knew about it, you bet he’ll burn it.”

“Just gotta make them fireproof or something.” Lucifer whispered, but he shook his head and cleared his throat, sounding more professional. “Okay, this is serious! Very!”

Without warning, he suddenly dragged you into a portal of his own and you two arrived in a realm of his making. A realm where everything was golden. You hugged onto him tightly when you realized it was a gold sea below you two. Naturally, you yelled at him for doing this out of the blue

You had him held onto your while you wrote ‘wings’ on your page to form a pair of them behind your back to keep you afloat. You went back to yelling at Lucifer before he gestured to you, saying this was the point

Unable to comprehend, you said of course because you were no angel. Nor did you expect him to just drag you into another realm out of the blue

“What if you didn’t need to write on your pages to get things done?” Lucifer suggested, his wings flapping from time to time to remain in the air over the flowing golden liquid below you two.

“Then I can’t do anything. I’m nothing without my quill and pages or at least a surface to write on.” You answered, pointing to the wings that magically appeared from your words alone. “You know that.”

“I mean as in you don’t use them. Maybe start small, like don’t use your pages and only your quill to write.” Lucifer cryptically explained, you gave him a raised brow and he groaned, “Oh, come on! You watch your little shows, you know what I mean! Writing it in the air and poof!”

You laughed. Yes, you’ve seen these things happen in TV shows and anime, but you never got the chance or want to try it out. You see, you don’t exactly see yourself to have something so overpowered in your skillset or ability list

From what Alastor told, his immense power came from the evil deeds he has done in his years alive. His ticket to Hell had his name when he first killed. Then his power slowly built up from the serial killings he did. Adding to that, there was fraud, manipulation, and corruption. His twisted moral of how a hunter make good use of their prey was way too concerning for you

Cannibalism. He ate his victims as a method of exposing the bodies, well, only the ones he saw were healthy. But still. Then he told you like a storybook before bed how he dug up graves in the bayou where he dump the bodies or put it somewhere noticeable on purpose to catch the attention of the public

Afterwards? He speaks through the microphone in his booth while the radio all over his hometown state listens, he sympathized with the victim and their family and friends, he warned listeners to be careful, he wished the authorities to make quick work in finding and arresting the killer. All while a sick smile was on his face as he made those broadcast

It’s times when he tells you his cruelty that you’re reminded with who you rescued, sure Hell was a piece of work, but Alastor was another story. He’s something straight out of a serial killer movie, but in real life. You can’t question enough how Alastor fell for you and turned to a yandere type as well, but not like you’re regretting it now. He grew on you far too much

In contrast to Alastor’s build-up or something like a pre-register in Hell for power, you’ve done doing to that degree. You didn’t kill others, you aren’t even manipulative, and you definitely wasn’t brave enough to commit some other crimes. If anything, you were a victim

You already can’t understand why you had the power you do now. Alastor theorized before it was due to the fact you love books, but then the question changes to how your powers were this unique. Why were you any to summon and conjure items you understand? 

Alastor can do something similar but it’s just that. Similar. He snaps his fingers and things just appear. There were limits, but something he can’t do was summon angelic steel or weapons like you can

Once you joked how you were actually destined to be in Heaven. That got Alastor into a frenzy. Immediately pinning you down and patting your back to see if there were wings

“A joke! It was just a joke!” You shouted at him, there was that crazed look in his eyes that sent a chill down his spine. Even though you have his soul and limited his powers, he was still the more powerful one between you two.

Alastor blinked and got off of you, his eyes narrowed as his smile shrank, “A poor joke, Darling. Even if you’re destined for Heaven and taken away from me… I will find you and drag you back down to Hell.”

You got Lucifer to bring you back to your room and leave thing as that. You don’t think you can do it, it was a pleasant thought, to be able to do that you’d be more powerful. Then again, you’re not seeking to be powerful. There was nothing for you to fight for. You had Alastor, that was enough

Not in Lucifer’s case though. He kept pestering you on learning, randomly bringing you to his golden realm that you got used to it and just prepared pages with the word ‘wings’ written on it. His persistence caught Alastor’s attention

At first, Alastor was annoyed that Lucifer was trying to spend time with you and to your delight chased Lucifer away, but after you told him what it was about, he was interested to see your power grow as well. Claiming that it was a great opportunity

Of course, he added that it wasn’t due to him doubting he can’t protect you in times of needs, but he didn’t want what happened on that roof to happen again

What if you didn’t have a surface to write on? What if you didn’t have your book with you? What if your pages were wet? What if your quill was taken away from you? What if you were put into a situation where you can’t rely on your pages and quill?

In that sense, Alastor was all for Lucifer’s idea. Since Lucifer was the one to see how your power developed, he was the better supervisor than Alastor. As much as your love hates to admit it. Though he wanted what’s best for you and he thinks you needed this now that you were staying at the hotel where sinners and demons can roam freely

“Fine…” You sighed, “I’ll try your little idea…”

“Yes! Come on! We’re starting training!!” Lucifer opened up the portal with his apple cane. 

“Have a productive time, My Beloved!” Alastor hugged your good luck, kissing the top of your head, “I’ll have your favourites ready when you return.”

And so started with your little power upgrade project

Lucifer spared no expenses when it came to dragging you out of bed from your comfort activities to do more trial and error

It felt like the days when you were back in your living years, having to study and work. The twist was that you enjoy it since it was your first friend from Hell that got you to work. If anyone was in doubt about Lucifer being the King of Hell. He was a hellish tormentor for you

Turns out, that golden realm he has was all under his control and that golden sea could have been dry land. Oh you were so pissed when you learned that. Sure it helped with exercising your wings ability but he could have told you in the first place!

You’re very very tempted to just smack him in the head. But you told yourself not to give into temptation and just be good and get this over with. Lucifer is still the King of Hell and a powerful fallen angel that was leagues above you. You can never compare or try to win over

Alastor, the sweet thing, was always there for you when you needed some comfort or when you didn’t have motivation to continue

He provided you with so much that you thought back to your time alive

When you were down in the dumps and burn out, you longed for someone to be by your side to support you through thick and thin. You thought you had it, but it was a lie you told yourself. You thought that was happiness, it was nothing but a joke you drown yourself in

You truly enjoy your time with Alastor and all that he has given you, devoted to you. You can’t thank him enough

In the end, there was truth to Lucifer’s little theory. You started with plainly writing in the air with your quill, nothing happened naturally. Later on, you started to envision writing on something and it worked just a smidge. You soon learned to see the air as your surface, treat it like there was a hologram of a page there and write on it. Like all those sci-fi movies and TV shows you watched

Letters started to appear in a neon glow, coloured in your signature colour of your aura. In no time, the letters appeared more constant to your writing, then words formed. That was a big step, your next goal was to actually summon something

That took more time to perfect, but you got it since you were past the big goal of writing on nothing or air. The items you summoned grew in size and weight, then you barely managed to summon your angelic weapon. You fainted right after it appeared

You lacked stamina and energy to maintain it after using so much to summon it into existence. A short break was taken before you pushed yourself to continue. Lucifer and Alastor both supported you while reminding you that there was no pressure

No pressure. They actually mean it. It wasn’t a tactic to guilt-trip you into working harder. Figures appeared in your mind but you shook it away. No, you’re doing this because Alastor and Lucifer believes you can do it. You’re doing it not because you were forced. You want to do it

It was when you finally managed to summon an angelic weapon and maintain it for a good while that Lucifer deemed your powers successfully upgraded. Him having to act like a system congratulating your work, it left Alastor confused, but he too praised you for your achievement without giving up

Next step was to not use your quill to write, you already had an idea to use your fingers like a particular anime’s protagonist from long long ago. Maybe you should rewatch it for some more ideas. But there was something else that you never got around to ask

“Oh yeah, why is it that you keep bringing me to this goldy realm of yours?” You poofed away some random objects you summoned with a wave, “Can’t we just do all this in the hotel? It’s big enough for it and we didn’t actually use much space anyways.”

Lucifer groaned, “Oh, no. No~ No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Thats, uh hah, no. Bad idea.”

Your head tilted, “Bad idea? That’s the hotel you rebuilt with the others, right?”

Lucifer would be banging his head from that movement, sadly and unfortunately for him, there was no wall in sight in this weird golden realm. “Yes, but now Charlie let Vox’s people install these screens all over the place and… Arghhh… I had to destroy the TV in my room cause of all the heebie-jeebies I got from it.”

“What?” 

“Yeah, it was like the day before I asked you if you thought of that power upgrade thing.”

No wonder Alastor was more pushy about you staying in your shared room or his radio tower recently. Never letting you away from those areas. Now you understand what it was about. You did wonder why Alastor didn’t tell you, but then you recalled how it was you that have been stressing about the deal with Lucifer and your power, so there was never a chance for him to tell you that

And naturally the other hotel members would assume Alastor told you so they never approached you. Ohhh… You feel like a jerk now

You quickly made your way down to the lobby, easily finding everyone you needed

“Charlie!”

“Oh! You want to join our activity? We’re gonna do some online competition with this new—”

“No, Charlie, why did you accept VoxTech’s stuff?” You questioned immediately, stepping between the group and the large screen. 

“Vox was sponsoring us! He gave us so much help! He even had his employees install everything around the hotel.” Charlie praised, though you noticed how her eyes stayed glued to what was behind her. The others all nodded in agreement, seemingly in a trance.

Your eyebrows furrowed, you looked behind you, just a peek was enough to see that Vox had been hypnotizing them to say good things about him. You glared at the screen, showing Vox and his hypnotic eye. This doesn’t work on you. “Alastor!”

“Darling!” Alastor appeared through the shadows, immediately turning you away from the screen as his hands held your face so that you stare at him, “Did he do anything to you?”

“It’s okay, hypnosis has no effect on me.” You spoke through squished cheeks, you squeeked when Alastor stole a peck before releasing you. You blush, never will you get used to this, you peeked around your lover, seeing the group recover. “Alastor, destroy all VoxTech products in this hotel. No matter how big or small.”

Alastor’s grin grew, “With pleasure.”

You wrote ‘recovery’ on your pages and restored the gang back to conscious minds. You would try your newest technique, but this was more concerning since it was on someone other than you

When the group snapped back to their senses, Charlie and Vaggie shouted at you for what you told Alastor to do. You argued back that they weren’t even aware that they were mind controlled by Vox, it was a matter of time before they were mere puppets. You pointed over to Angel who’s boss, Valentino was Vox’s partner, and Angel backed you up easily

Lucifer offered his thoughts on the matter as well, claiming that’s why he doesn’t watch TV that often. He didn’t want to say anything because the hotel was Charlie’s and it was her decision on what she does with it

You went on to warning them how controlling and unseemingly evil Vox could get, he truly is manipulative with that perfect CEO outlook he gave everyone around him. When things don’t go his way, he was sure to retaliate like a baby throwing a tantrum. You relate with Alastor on how you two view Vox. Truly, you wonder why he was accepted as an Overlord with that personality of his

From this the group honestly saw how you were once an informant for Lucifer. You speak your mind, acting swiftly and precisely. Your knowledge on other demons, Overlords even, was a deadly weapon at your disposal. Your secretive nature made things more complicated since you wouldn’t be one to share unless necessary

Alastor praised and sang you words of flattery at your action, even though he was the one that did all the work. You merely had to drag him to your level and kiss him to shut him up, then you two went back to your shared room to cuddle while having your movie night

Charlie and Vaggie cut all contacts with Vox and his company, warning him to stay away from the hotel if and when he has ill-intention to associate with it

“F**k!” Vox slammed his fist onto the table, his screen face glitched with error messages as his rage continued to raise. All his cameras and speakers in the Hazbin Hotel was gone, the connection wasn’t merely lost, it was completely gone. 

He didn’t expect someone with authority to make Alastor destroy them all. He thought the bleeding princess will keep him at bay, and he was so close to finding out about that figure on the roof that day. Someone that protected Alastor and removed all the eyes he had to watch that battle.

“Pages…” Vox mumbled, he tugged on a chain that suddenly appeared. A contract chain. “You better stop meddling in my plans!”

“It wasn’t me! I swear!” The pulled in figure cried, her long hair covering her crying face, “I’ve been here all this time! How can I do anything!?”

Vox glared, pulling on the chain until it was choking her, “Well, it’s not everyday you see a sinner with the power to command pages to do their bidding, right? Who else if not for you? Huh?”

The female demon cried and sobbed more, “It wasn’t me, it really wasn’t… Don’t punish me…”

Vox eyed his giant tank with aquatic creatures, his grin grew, “Yeah, I think you need some reminding.” He told his little weak contracted soul to his eye level, “Who it is that owns you, you don’t get to decide. Copy-Kat.”

Note: Hi hi everyone!! This is back from a bit of a pause (as you can tell, I've been working on another series). Though this part might not be as good as you'd like. But necessary for the future parts. Haha~

The requests sent a long time ago on the Reader's/your past acquaintances and interaction with Vox will be added to the parts after this! Or treated as trivia when direct contact is made!

Give this series a warm welcome back~

Circe Y. 

My Works: MASTERLIST

Taglist: (those that don't specify to being in all the works' taglist will automatically be assumed to be in whichever series they comment on)

@aconfusedwonderland @crowleysthings @donustellaron @mistpurpl3 @lucifers-silhouette @fluffy-koalala @nevermore-ramblings @justboredforreal @youroneandonlysimp @falsemain @scenteddelusion5 @anni1600 @readergirlstuff @salutations-demonsanddappers @mistpurpl3 @haruskrd @biadoll21 @speedycoffeedelight @wendds @paninibit @emperatris-rinaka @lucifers-silhouette @an-idyllic-novelist

#Circe's Nighty Writings #Circe's requested writings #alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #Unwanted Soul

[a-kaash-me-outside]

not fair - ch3

in which your boyfriend is perfect in every single way... except for one and kei can't just sit back and watch you suffer... previous | ch3 | next [masterlist]

// "you ruined me too, i guess." ~ ᴛsᴜᴋɪsʜɪᴍᴀ ᴋᴇɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ~ 7589 ᴡᴏʀᴅs

a look into this chapter/tw: 18+ minors dni super nfsw!, cheating (seriously, major plot point), a bit heavier angst in this one guys, use of character first names, degradation, choking, face-fucking, dom/sub undertones, face slapping, stop light system, squirting, dirty talk, name calling, coming twice, plot-heavy, cross posted from ao3, afab reader she/her pronouns, this is actually the chapter i stopped at before being commissioned to write the last three parts

send an ask and i’ll add ya to the taglist! ~ �� ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡

You hadn’t spoken to Kei in almost 4 months, not at all.

You went from messaging him daily, constantly, seeing him 5-6 times a week, getting coffee with him, having him come over for dinner, hanging out with you and Tadashi to absolutely nothing. You couldn’t help yourself when you were around him, couldn’t stop thinking about him when you weren’t around him, so you had to cut him off. After that night, coming home and crawling into bed with Yamaguchi, his arms wrapping around you, they didn’t feel right. They weren’t as strong as Kei’s. Everything that he did reminded you that he wasn’t Kei. You could feel every mark that Kei had left on your body and you were missing him so much that your heart physically hurt. It had to stop. 

When Yamaguchi asked why you guys weren’t talking anymore, you almost started crying. You told him that you guys had gotten into an awful fight and that you couldn’t talk about it. Though it was technically a lie, it seemed convincing enough. Every time that he would try to ask about it, you would get emotional, tears flooding your eyes and heart feeling heavy. He stopped asking about it after a while, just accepting that you weren’t ready to talk about it. He was kind like that. He was conflicted, not knowing whether or not to drop everything with his best friend. You encouraged him to go see him if Tsukishima wanted to and he did.

Everything about Yamaguchi was kind and sweet and everything that you should have wanted, but not being with Kei for the past few months really showed you how difficult it was for you to be with someone like that. Tadashi would listen to you rant about your favorite TV shows, make you breakfast in the morning, tell you all of the things about you that he loves, but every inexplicably nice thing that he did made you miss Kei’s antics even more. You missed when he would make fun of the plot holes in your garbage TV shows, how he would groan at you and throw things when you tried to ask him to make you breakfast, how special he would make you feel when he would tell you the things he loved about you. You were convinced that it was just your obsessive mind, that something was wrong with you.

Not above everything else, but a large chunk of the reason that you missed him, was how great you were together in bed. Nothing was the same without him. You barely even wanted to try to make yourself come. Even when you succeeded the few times that you did, you felt less satisfied after you finished than you had when you started. It didn’t matter how hard you tried or what you did, nothing compared to how good he was at it and how much he cared. 

You had gotten used to the fact that you would never be satisfied again. You never should have fucked him the first time. You were fine with the situation that was happening, at least you could make yourself come. Ignorance truly is bliss, you guessed. 

Except, there was one night, one fateful night, when you were in bed with Yamaguchi, on all fours as he fucked you from behind, that you actually felt pleasure for the first time in months. 

“How is it, sweetheart?” he asked, his breathing sporadic despite only inserting himself into you a few minutes ago. You tried your best to sound into it for his sake at least. The endearing name that came out of his mouth, once belonging to him, but now, even 4 months void of hearing him say it, it was still Kei’s. You wished you’d never told him the name because now it’s all you can think about. 

He angles down, accidentally grazing your g-spot, something he has never done in your relationship, ever. It’s not as thoughtful as when Kei does it, nor as harsh, but it sends the smallest amount of pleasure into your core as you inhale deeply. It’s been so long since you’ve felt actual pleasure, that it just slips out of your mouth. It’s the first thing that your body thinks of when you feel even the smallest amount of satisfaction.

“Fuck, Kei.” As soon as it leaves your mouth, you’re hoping that the rest of the room is loud enough to cover it. You want to crawl into a hole and never be seen again. Even with Kei out of your life for 4 months, the second that you feel good, he’s all your brain can think about. Tadashi slows and you know how badly you’ve fucked up. 

He stops, still inside of you, as he asks, “What?” You don’t know what to do, what to say, you’re frozen in time. When you don’t reply, he pulls out of you, getting up from off of the bed, repeating himself, but adding your name to try to pull you out of your own head. “(y/n), what?” He doesn’t have to ask what. He doesn’t have to ask you to repeat yourself, he knows exactly what you said. 

All of those years of not being suspicious about you and Kei have come back to haunt him all at once. His voice is stern, now, growing impatient. This is a side of him that you’ve never seen. He’s not even angry, just confused and evidently hurt. “(y/n).” His tone is cold and pained. 

“I-.” You feel so small as you choke out one word. You want to rewind time, not just to before you moaned Kei’s name, but to back before that night that you admitted your deepest secret to Kei, the night that you weren't able to turn back from. Your hesitance and lack of words are speaking absolute volumes to him as he scoffs at you, putting his clothes back on and pacing around the room. You’re sitting on the edge of the bed, putting your underwear and shirt back on, looking down at your feet to avoid his eyes. 

“You what, (y/n), tell me, what?” 

“I’m sorry,” is all you can manage to say, a genuine, whether he thinks so or not, apology. It’s genuine, but what exactly are you apologizing for? Even you don’t know. 

Tadashi takes a deep breath, turning to you and stopping in his tracks. “Did you really say it? Please, (y/n), tell me that I wasn’t hearing right, that you said something else and my ears deceived me, please.” 

You know that if you were to tell him, he would believe you. You wouldn’t even have to explain yourself, he would just understand and he would trust you and you guys would crawl into bed and he would hold you and you would wish it was Kei. 

“You said it, didn’t you?” He sounds so defeated, sighing softly and swallowing, tears in his eyes. “Can you at least just tell me that you were just thinking about him for whatever stupid reason? That it was all in your head? That it wasn’t based off of anything that actually happened?” You wish you could. He waits for you to talk, waits nearly 30 minutes in complete, agonizing silence. The awkward air never settling, just getting worse and worse by the second. 

“You have to say something, (y/n). I deserve to know.” He doesn’t even sound angry. You want him to sound angry. You want him to scream, to throw things, to slam the door as he leaves, but even after you’ve cheated on him, he’s still just a genuinely kind guy who’s just hurt. He refuses to say another word, sitting in silence for another 10 minutes before you start to speak up. 

“I did…” You take a deep breath. “I did say it, by the way.” You admit to the first issue at hand, something that he definitely already knows, so you continue on. “We… Kei and I…” You’re trying to find the right words, but nothing is going to sound right coming out of your mouth. “We slept together.”

Everything is silent. You can’t even hear each other breathing. 

“Why?” he asks, bluntly. He deserves to know, but you can’t bring yourself to tell him the actual reason, but he’s repeating it again, “Why?” He repeats it again, begging to know this time, “(y/n), why, please.” He keeps asking because you’re staying silent. The word why is flying around your head so much, fogging your thoughts that it just slips out of your mouth. 

“Because you couldn’t make me come,” you admit, louder than you should have. You didn’t want to play the victim here, you weren’t the victim. It was the worst excuse that could have been said. You try to backpedal. “I- I just… You couldn’t… make me come and he could. So we slept together, but only twice before I-.”

Yamaguchi is taking in the entire situation that’s unfolding in front of him. He looks hurt and confused and the anger that you’ve been expecting this whole time is still nowhere to be seen. “That’s a shitty excuse,” he interrupts you. 

“I know. I didn’t… I wasn’t trying to excuse myself. I just-.”

“Twice? You slept with him twice?” he asks.

“Yeah, only twic-.”

“ Only twice? Wow, thank you so much for only sleeping with my best friend twice.” He’s getting annoyed at your responses, at himself for sticking around, for being stepped on. You wanted to add that he wasn’t just Yamaguchi’s best friend, he was your best friend too, he was your best friend first, but that didn’t sit well. “What that means, (y/n), is that you did it once and then you did it again because you didn’t feel guilty enough to stop after doing it once.”

You’re quiet again. Nothing that you say is going to fix this. “I’m sorry.” 

“That’s where you were a few months ago, isn’t it?” He put the pieces together, connected the dots. “You weren’t out on a walk, you were cheating on me with Kei.” He doesn’t even wait for confirmation. “Was that the first time?”

“Dashi, no, I-.” You don’t want to tell him, you can’t tell him that you fucked on your bed when he wasn’t home, that you didn’t wash the sheets because it reminded you of that night, that you would get nervous, but excited wondering if Tadashi could see the cum stains on your side of the bed. 

“Where?”

“Here,” you admit as fast as you can. Tadashi scoffs, grabbing his bag and shoving things into it, muttering as he does so. You sit on the bed quietly, watching him race around the room, but not trying to stop him. “You fucked him here, in our home, in our bed, where we sleep . Fucking unbelievable. This whole time, I knew that something was weird between you two, but I never said anything. I trusted you, (y/n), I trusted you.” He shakes his head, grabbing clothes, electronics, his wallet, anything that he can grab, and shoving it into his bag. 

“I can’t fucking believe you. I mean, I thought I couldn’t believe you. I…” He stops himself, taking a deep breath and looking into your eyes. It’s only now that you can see how red they are, tears spilling out of them in heavy drops. Yours are dry. 

“I don’t… I’m sorry.” It’s Tadashi that’s apologizing. You reach out, gently placing your hand on his shoulder and rubbing your thumb into it. 

“Dashi, don’t apologize.” Part of you thinks that this means he’s going to set his bag down and crawl back into bed with you and be the little spoon until you both fall asleep. Another part of you knows it’s already over. 

“I love you,” he says to you, looking into your eyes. You can’t bring yourself to say it back. You stand up, urgently. 

“You should stay here. I’m going to go. I can’t… I can’t be in this house. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.” Even though he has his bag packed already, even though it sounds like he was ready to talk and to give you a second chance, your chest is feeling tight. You had to get out of that room, out of that house. Hearing him tell you that he loves you made you feel sick. It doesn’t sit right in your stomach at all. 

“If you leave right now and go to Kei’s, I’m done. We’re done.” It’s the most sturdy sentence that Tadashi had ever said, not riddled with fear or sorrys, just stern. 

You don’t even bother to grab a bag like Tadashi did or to say goodbye as you left or to look back at him standing exactly where you left him. You pushed past him and out the door, desperate to get fresh air into your lungs. 

Tadashi knows exactly where you’re headed when he notices that you didn’t even grab the car keys from the counter. He doesn’t know what he expected. 

The air is much colder than you anticipate it being. The large amounts of it that you’re taking into your lungs to negate the feeling of panic in your heart burn as they fill your chest. Not once during your time in the room with Tadashi did you cry. Watching how upset and sad that you had made him didn’t even make your eyes water, but out on the street, taking that familiar walk that you had taken so often, but not recently, the tears started to form and fall from your eyes. 

By the time you make it to his front door, your vision is completely blurred and your lungs hurt so much from heaving that you’re contemplating holding your breath forever. You don’t even know what you’re doing here. You hadn’t called or texted. It was nearly 3 in the morning. You knew that he would be sleeping. You hadn’t talked to him in months. How did you know he would even let you in?

You knock on the door with as much strength as you can muster, 4 light rasps against the wood. You wait for a minute before trying to knock again. When there’s still no answer, you ring the doorbell once. You’re about to give up when you hear the soft click of the unlocking of the door, a tired Kei stands in front of you, his glasses not even on his face as he squints at you. His eyes open wider when he realizes who it is. “(y/n)? What are you doing here?”

It’s cold outside, but you don’t make the move to try to get inside. He hasn’t invited you in yet, and you’ve lost the privilege of slinking past him and taking off your shoes and walking into his room without question when you broke off all contact with him for 4 months. 

“He broke up with me.” You sniffle at the end of your sentence. Saying it out loud makes a sob erupt from your chest. Your legs feel weak as you bring your hands up to your face, crying into them, your entire body shaking. 

Part of you feels bad for bombarding Kei like this, but you didn’t know where else to go and you definitely couldn’t have stayed. If you had to look at Tadashi for one-second longer, you would have told him everything, even the parts that he definitely doesn’t need to hear. You feel your wrist being pulled inside, Kei shutting the door behind you before continuing to pull you into his bedroom. It looked exactly like it did those few months ago, the bed disheveled from Kei leaving from it so quickly to answer the door. You were laying there with him a few months ago, about to kiss him. You wish you would have kissed him. 

Kei pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you so tightly that you can’t move. You feel so secure, so safe. You can’t stop crying, wetting his shoulder from the tears. He rubs your lower back with his palm and your shoulder with his thumb, comforting you. You can feel him hesitate, but ultimately press a kiss into the top of your head. You melt into him. 

“It’s not his fault. I cheated on him. I know this, but I just… I should be sadder, Kei,” you say into his shoulder. 

“You’re sobbing, what do you mean?”

“I’m not sobbing because I broke up with Tadashi.” You’re treading on thin ice here, but your emotions are completely getting the better of you, pushing you forwards. “I’m sobbing because after he broke up with me, my chest felt lighter. After he broke up with me, the only thing I could think about was you and how I wouldn’t have to hide or lie anymore. He gave me a choice, Kei. He told me that if I left and came to your house that he was going to break up with me, that we were through.” You pause. “And look where I’m at now.”

Tsukishima is silent, his arms around you beginning to fall weakly off of your sides. 

“Fuck,” you breath, pulling away from him, sitting on the edge of his bed, and putting your face in your hands. “I was so good at hiding my feelings, Kei, suppressing them so fucking well, and then we spent that night together and- and I couldn’t get you out of my head again.” You grab a fistful of your own hair in frustration. “I mean, fuck.” You pick your head back up, tears slowing, resting your chin in your hands. 

He sits next to you but still doesn’t speak. You continue talking, scared of what will happen when the air settles around the conversation. “I was happy. I was content. I-,” you pause, “I didn’t have to sit and wonder if the guy that I’m in love with cared about me in a way that involved more than just sex.” You’ve said all that you could say. 

It’s quiet. The atmosphere is calmer than it was back at your house. You steady your breathing, not that it matters, because Kei’s next sentence knocks the wind out of you. 

“I wish I would’ve kissed you that night,” he admits to you, his voice low. “I’ve regretted it every day since you left. I thought that maybe, maybe if I would’ve kissed you, you would’ve stayed or- or you would’ve just known.”

“Known?” you ask, innocently. 

He exhales sharply, almost resembling a laugh. “Known that I was fucking in love with you.”

The tears that had started to subside came back with everything they had, your whole body wracked, shoulders heaving as he said those words. Even though he was sitting right next to you, he felt miles away. All you wanted was for him to wrap around you. You wanted to crawl into his lap, to feel his fingertips on your scalp again, to feel him give you any contact at all. 

You’ve thought about that night endlessly, spent hours awake remembering how he looked underneath you. Even after the thoughts of your incredible sex subsided, after they faded into the back of your mind, after you pushed them back there, you couldn’t get the look in his eyes out of your head. You kept watching them, replaying in your head, as they flickered to your lips and lingered, how they didn’t look hungry, but yearning. 

You don’t know how to reply, but you need to speak. You need to tell him something, anything, to remind him why you’re here in the first place, why you chose him overworking it out with Tadashi, anything to get him to move closer to you and hold you. 

Or maybe you don’t need to speak. Maybe you don’t need to say anything to get him to move closer and hold you. He had just done the hard part. He told you that he was in love with you, or, that he was in love with you. Was he still? 

You looked up at him, saw his head hanging like he’d made a mistake, his gaze stuck on the floor while he fiddled with his thumbs. You turn to him, nudging underneath his arm and crawling into his lap, exactly where you wanted to be. You sit in his lap, curled up in a small ball, tears still overflowing from your eyes. 

He doesn’t move for a minute, worry creeping up on you as he doesn’t react to you being in his lap, but then he wraps his arms around you and rests his chin on the top of your head. Your ear is pressed against his chest and you can hear the dull thumping of his heart. You time your breathing with it, your tears slowing as they synchronize. 

You’re aware of how little has been said since he confessed to you. You want to tell him something that will make him feel more at ease for having said it. “I wanted to kiss you too, that night. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” It’s quiet again, but you know that he hears you. He tightens his grip in response, nuzzling his nose into your neck as he rests his forehead against your cheek. 

Kei turns you slightly so that you’re facing him, legs wrapped around his waist as he holds you up with strong arms behind your back. You’re staring into his eyes again like you were four months ago, but you’re not riddled with conflicting thoughts, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life. 

Before you even start inching closer to him, Kei’s facial expression changes just slightly. “Can I ask?” He pauses, waiting for you to give confirmation for him to go on. When you do, he continues, “What finally did it? Why did you guys finally break up?”

You had told him that you guys had broken up, had come over his house at 3 in the morning sobbing, had told him that you chose him over Tadashi, but nowhere in your mind did you think that you’d have to tell him why exactly you broke up. You flush red recalling the events. It was somehow more embarrassing recalling them, about to say them aloud, than to actually have gone through them. “I- Well, I mean-,” you stutter over your words causing him to look confused. 

“You don’t have to tell me, for whatever reason, I know that we haven’t ta-,” he starts, but you interrupt him, shaking your head. 

“No, no. I want to tell you, Kei, but you… you can’t laugh.” Your eyes are pleading.

“Tch, well when you say that, you know I can’t promise such things.” You’ve missed his little tongue clicks.

You take a deep breath. “He was fucking me.” You take another deep breath, avidly avoiding Kei’s eyes and evidently piquing his interest. “And he hit that spot.” Your cheeks are burning as you take another breath to steady yourself. “And I said your name.” 

His jaw drops, head tilting to the side as he tries to conceal his cockiness, his disbelief, his bliss. You bury your face into his chest, the warmth of your cheeks worsening by the second. “You said my name while he was fucking you?”

“Kei, you don’t understand,” your voice is muffled by his shirt, “I hadn’t gotten off in so long, hadn’t felt like actual pleasure since that night, and so, and- and he-.” You’re stumbling over your words, but he doesn’t say anything. “He hit it on accident and I just couldn’t help it. It was slipping out of my mouth and I’ve never wanted to hide more.”

He leans back, pulling his chest away from your face as you look up at him. His head is tilted back and he’s laughing at the whole situation. “I told you that I couldn’t promise anything. Wow. He hit it by accident?”

You nod at his question. Nothing about this situation is funny, but seeing Kei laugh makes you start laughing. You want to feel worse about it, but it’s just the two of you in this secluded room and being with Kei for the first time in months, you feel truly happy again. You push him slightly, the corner of your mouth tugging upwards as you bury your face into his chest again. “Don’t be mean to me.”

Kei brings his hand under your chin, lifting your head until your gaze meets his. No matter how hard you try to avert it, he moves you to match it. He rubs small circles into your chin. It sends shivers through every part of your body. “I’m sorry. I’m not being mean. I’m flattered, really.” You melt into him, letting your chin form into his hand before looking at his lips so obviously that if he didn’t get the hint, you’d start crying again. 

He knows, of course, he knows, but he asks anyway. “Can I kiss you?” His voice is soft but audible. 

You nod gently, making sure not to disturb his hand on your chin, “Please.” He brings your face to his, carrying it with his fingertips before meeting it halfway. When his lips first touch yours, the first thing you notice is how different they taste from before. Without the sex driving the kiss, it felt less desperate, less like it needs to happen and more like it is just supposed to happen. Your eyes flutter shut, your body threatening to start shaking if you don’t deepen the kiss. You need more of him. 

You place your hands on the sides of his face, pulling him closer, your face squished against his as much as it could be. This kiss was completely different in every aspect. You were no longer with Tadashi, this wasn’t just a meeting for a hookup. This was your best friend, who ( is? was? ) in love with you. The two words switch back and forth in your mind, asking if he is still in love with you. 

You pull away, much to your own dismay. His lips almost start to pout when you’ve pulled away until he sees how serious you are. You have to ask. You have to know. “Are you…” You pause, rewording the question, “You said that..” You take a breath. “That you were in love with me.” He turns red as he nods. “Is that… like, you were, but aren’t anymore? Or like you were and still are?” 

He blinks at you slowly, the red fading off of his face as a smile replaces his nervousness. He laughs, shaking his head and putting his lips back on yours. “I don’t think I could ever not be.” You not only hear the words but feel them against your lips. Your hands are back on his face, desperate to kiss him so hard that you can’t breathe. 

You roll off of his lap, your hands still on the sides of his face guiding you with him, pulling him on top of you. The kiss is still innocent enough, despite the position you find yourself in. He’s hovering over you, his hips directly above yours. You snake your legs around his waist, pulling him even closer into you. You open your mouth slightly, letting your tongue slip out and swipe against his lip, hoping with everything in you that he lets you in. 

You can tell how surprised he is to feel your tongue, but he lets you enter. Without the smashing of your teeth, the fighting of your tongues, you explore his mouth, running your tongue over his and the back of his teeth. You moan into his mouth as he places a hand on your hip, rolling up against him softly. You can feel him growing hard at the contact. He grunts as he rolls down against you in response. 

You move your mouth from his, kissing down his neck and sucking at the base. You were surprised at how much he reacted to this. All this time, he had abused and riddled your neck with marks and bruises, but he wanted them just as much. You bite into his soft skin, sucking on an area gently, running your tongue over it lightly, using your bottom lip to rub the spot as well. You pull at the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head and throwing it to the side. You run your hands down his chest, down his toned stomach, just feeling his skin as you nibble on his collarbones. Kei is moaning into your ear at the feeling. 

Your hands move down to his boxers, only the thin fabric separating his growing length and your hand. You palm him as you kiss his neck again. His breath stutters in your ear as he thrusts into your hand. You begin to start taking them off when he pulls away suddenly. You look up at him, confused and worried. “Kei?”

“(y/n),” he breathes, “I- I want this so badly. I want you so badly, but you literally just got out of a relationship an hour ago. I don’t want to take advantage of you or have you do something you’ll regret tomorrow.”

You shake your head, your eyebrows furrowed. “Please, Kei, I’ve waited so long to do this right. I know this isn’t ideal. I know what happened. I get it. I know, but… please. I want this,” you say, looking directly into his eyes. “I could never regret spending a night with you. I never have and I never will.” 

He mulls over the situation, thinking carefully before confirming again, “Are you sure?” 

You nod again. “Yes, yes, Kei. I’ve missed you so much in every way possible.”

He caresses your cheek with his hand, rubbing his thumb over your jawline. “Is this just a hookup?” The question stops everything in you. You pull his face back down to yours, kissing everywhere but his mouth as you repeat the word no over and over again. 

“No, god, fuck, Kei, no. No. I want you so badly, but not just because you can make me come so fucking good, but because I want to be that close to you again. I want to feel you inside of me and I want you to hold me after.” You don’t know if the words you’re saying are too sappy, but they’re true and they work. Kei kisses you this time, pressing his lips against you hard, but not rough. 

“How have you survived these past months without me?” he asks. You giggle at the question, but then exhale, almost defeated.

“Barely, honestly,” you admit. “I’ve come twice by myself and they were the worst orgasms I’ve ever had.” 

“We’ll have to fix that, then, yeah, baby?” For some reason, the pet name makes you feel warm. He had called you it before, but it felt different now like he meant it more. The thought of him calling you baby outside of sex just added to the fire. You nod at him, resuming your kiss. As you’re building up the moment again, Kei pulls your shirt off, releasing your tits from your shirt and massaging them as he devours your tongue. 

You roll your hips against him again, feeling him almost completely hard already. You needed to feel his skin. You grabbed the waistband, gently tugging it down as far as you could from your position underneath him. You took his cock into your hand, stroking the rock hard length until you could feel even more blood rushing to it. Everything that you’re doing to him is getting a much bigger reaction than before, but you love it. You pull away from his mouth just long enough to spit into your hand, slicking his cock with the saliva, your fist gliding over it much easier now. 

Kei isn’t speaking, which is unusual, but you’re looking up at his face in the times when your lips are apart and you’re looking at the concentration on his face. It makes your heart flutter. “Pants off,” he says, but it’s not demanding. The short phrase is just desperate . You move your hand from his cock to undo your own pants, sliding them off with your underwear. You wrap your fist back around his cock, but not before dipping your fingers into yourself, moaning softly at the contact. You use how wet you are to lubricate his cock, your fist moving faster now. When he sees you do so, hears how wet you are when you push your fingers inside of you, feels the wetness on his cock, he twitches, pulling your hand away and pinning it down on the bed. 

You look up at him, somewhat confused. He looks almost embarrassed. You pull him into another kiss, wrapping your legs around him, his cock brushing only slightly against your lips as he groans into your ear. He holds your hips in place, pushing you back onto the beg, unwrapping your legs from him. He owes you some sort of explanation, but he wasn’t going to give it to you without keeping you occupied. 

He reaches down, still towering over top of you, bracing himself with one hand. “I haven’t come since the last time we were together,” he explains, avoiding eye contact with you. “You ruined me too, I guess.” The words shake your entire being. You blink at him, eyes open without knowing what to say. 

Your mind is distracted as he rubs two fingers between your lips, curling them around your pussy, pressing into your hole ever so slightly. You want to grab his wrist and shove his fingers inside of you. You think if he did that, you might come on the spot. You missed his fingers so much, missed any part of him being inside you so much. He uses his thumb to rub your swollen clit, the small circles making your heart race. Seeing you underneath him, squirming and wriggling from the small movements, a cocky smile spreads over his face. He missed seeing you like this. 

All at once, he shoves his fingers in, your pussy completely swallowing them up to the knuckle, slamming into your g-spot with such purpose. You clench around his fingers. “Kei, fuck, again, please, just once more, again.” You can’t believe how pathetic you sound right now, asking him to do it once more, knowing it’ll push you over the edge with how little you’ve been pleased lately, with how dissatisfying your sex life had been. 

He listens to you, pulling his fingers nearly all the way out, and then slamming them back into you, pushing as hard as he can to get as deep as he can. His thumb hasn’t stopped messily flicking over your clit as he does so. You’re rolling your hips on his fingers as you come for the first time in months. These little movements shouldn’t have made you come so fast, but you couldn’t help it. His eyes are wide as he notices that you’ve already come. He rides you through your orgasm, pumping his fingers in and out of you quickly. When you’re finishing coming, he doesn’t stop, so fascinated by how quickly you’re getting there. Your pussy feels so sensitive already, but you can feel another wave of pleasure about to wash over you and you welcome it. He curls his fingers up, hitting your spot repeatedly with his long, slender fingers. He’s watching you the whole time, gaze strong as he slams his fingers in and out of you, inserting another finger right before you come. His fingers don’t make you feel nearly as full as his cock, but it’s a start. 

The pleasure from his fingers inside of you and his thumb on your sensitive clit are too much. The pressure building in your lower stomach releases all at once, spraying the bed beneath you as you scream out his name in repetition. He pulls his fingers out of you, using his entire hand to rub against your clit faster than anyone ever has as you finish coming. You’re sweating from how hard your body is clenching, your hands making fists into the sheet as tears blink from your eyes. 

You’re feeling even more sensitive, but Kei puts his fingers back inside of you. “Kei, Kei, I can’t, I can’t come again, fuck.” 

“You remember the rules, yeah?” he asks, making sure that you don’t actually want him to stop. You nod at him excessively, holding his wrist in place and rocking your hips on his fingers when he slows down to check. He smiles at you, continuing to finger you. You can see his arm start to shake. He hadn’t slowed down once since he started hammering his fingers into you and you’re so grateful for it. The continuous, never letting up, pleasure that he’s created makes your orgasm come even quicker than you think it’s going to. 

Just as you’re about to come for the third time, he removes his fingers and slips into you, grunting as he does so. You feel every inch fill you as he pushes into your tight hole, stretching even further for him as he hits the back of your walls. You gasp for air as you feel his complete length inside of you, rubbing against your walls. His hand is gone from your clit, but he’s penetrating you deeply. You come around him, gripping onto his cock like a fucking vice as you cry out. He thrusts into you and pulls out, looking obviously labored from how tight you’re clenching around him. He’s muttering a string of fuck s as he does so. 

“Kei, fuck, thank you, thank you, fuck,” you mutter into his shoulder, running your fingernails down his back, wanting him closer, deeper. 

“You’re so tight, baby, fuck. You’re so tight and you’re all mine,” he says. There’s no mention of Tadashi, no nicknames that remind you of him, only saying things that are just the two of yours. After you’ve come, he slows his hips, fucking into you slowly, but hard, never breaking eye contact with you.

His hand is in your hair, using it to pull you on to him slowly. A small part of you was convinced that the only reason that you and Kei’s sex was so incredible was because it was rough and degrading and hot and though it can be all those things, it doesn’t always have to be. You’re realizing very quickly that you don’t need Kei to fuck you really rough for you to enjoy it, for both of you to revel in it. 

His slow thrusts don’t last very long as his breathing starts getting quicker. His hips pick up speed again, pushing so deeply into you that he can feel every part of your pussy wrapped around him. His thrusts are getting messier, stuttering instead of keeping the perfect rhythm that he normally does. His arm is shaking to hold himself up.

“Fuck, (y/n), fuck, baby, fuck, I’m going to come. Fuck, fuck, will you come with me, baby? Will you come on my cock while I fill you? I need to feel you clenching around me, milking the cum that’s already coming out of my cock, coaxing more and more out until you can taste it, please, baby, fuck.” All of the dirty talk that he held back from during comes out in this moment. His words bring you right to the edge. Feeling his cock ache inside you, looking into his eyes as you nod helplessly letting the orgasm echo through your entire body. You can feel it in every part of you as you squeeze around him, doing exactly what he asked of you. 

He didn’t demand anything of you, only asked nicely, even throwing in a please. Even still, you wanted to do whatever he asked of you, especially if that thing was coming on his cock as he came inside of you. His cock is throbbing, pulsing with every slam into you, with every stream of cum that comes out of his cock as he fucks it into you. Your moans are straggled as you try to speak, to thank him for everything, to just say his name. He’s moaning into your ear, a murmur of dirty words and your name repeated over and over again. It’s mostly gibberish, except a “thank you” that slips out among the rest. You feel flush all over as he sloppily fucks into you for the last time. You feel the cum drip out of you as soon as he pulls out.

Despite how tired you feel, you know that you have to go clean yourself up so that you can actually sleep. You just assumed you would stay the night, but maybe that’s not what he’s expecting. You make your way to the bathroom, waving him off when he tells you to stay and that you can fix it tomorrow. You hear him in the other room, changing his sheets on the bed and getting dressed again. 

When you enter into his room again, having brushed your teeth with the toothbrush he still kept in his medicine cabinet, you see him pulling one of his old volleyball shirts out of his drawer, tossing it to you as you walked in the room. “For tonight. Figured it’d be better to sleep in than what you had on.” You smile, a warmth spreading from your chest to the tips of your fingers and toes. 

“Thank you, Kei,” you put the shirt on, taking in how soft it is and how much it smells like him. 

He climbs into the middle of the bed, keeping the covers thrown to the side for you to get into bed with him. He pats the bed beside him when you seem hesitant. You slowly make your way over, getting into bed. He throws the covers over top of you before turning onto his side, looking at you with sleepy, but happy eyes. 

“What?” you ask, the attention making you blush even harder. He shakes his head, not saying anything, so you ask again, “What?”

“Nothing,” he waves you off, pressing a kiss into the side of your head and flipping you so that your back is flush against his chest, snaking his arms around your waist. 

“Tsukishima Kei,” you flip back around, staring him in the eyes, “What?”

He laughs at how serious you are, moving a piece of hair out of your eyes and kissing your forehead. “I just think you’re pretty, that’s all.” Your eyes widen in surprise as you flip back over, pushing yourself back into him, hiding what a dark crimson your skin had turned. He laughs again at your reaction, his hand resting on your hip and massaging it as he kisses the back of your neck. 

He wraps his legs in yours, pulling you closer to him. You can feel his breath on your ear but you don’t mind. It’s silent for a moment, but despite how tired you are and how dark the room is, you can’t seem to sleep. Your eyelids feel heavy, but there are words that need to be said that haven’t been. “Kei?” you ask quietly, seeing if he’s still up. He hums into your back evidently awake from the response time but getting sleepier by the second. You place your hand on his, squeezing it gently as you turn back around to face him.

His eyes are shut, lashes fluttering softly at your movement before opening the tiniest bit. Your face is so close to his that it’s killing you not to kiss him right now, but you need to say it first. He needs to hear it first. 

“I love you, Kei.”

His eyes open wider now, he inhales slightly sharper than before, but a smile rests on his face. He leans forward, pressing his lips against yours for a moment before pulling away, a pout instantly forming on your face. “Hey,” you voice your concern, but he just raises his eyebrows. 

“Fine, fine, I won’t tell you that I love you too or that I’m so glad that everything happened the way it did despite how messy it was or that I want to fall asleep with you every night,” he says, shrugging, but pressing his lips back into yours again. He’s so good at everything he does. You want to keep kissing him, but more so, you want him to continue to tell you nice things. 

He spends the rest of the time that you’re awake telling you all of the things he’s never told you. You exchange secrets, you laugh, you kiss, you cry a little bit, you kiss some more, you kiss even more. Eventually, the sun peeks out from the horizon casting a bright, but soft pink, glow into Kei’s room. You press your face into his chest, hiding your eyes from the light at first, but then finding so much comfort in the contact, in the heartbeat. It calms you into a sleep. He massages his fingers into your scalp, petting and smoothing your hair.  

This entire time, everything you wanted was right there in front of you, but now you had it. 

“Goodnight, baby,” he says softly into your head, “I love you.”

Your heart beams. 

taglist: @daddyjackfrost @karasunoya @girlwith-kalei-do-scope-eyes @itsmeteiiteii @omiivr @cyueksims @kei-tsuki21 @ks-tsukki @snazzyturtles send an ask and i’ll add ya to the taglist! ~ ♡ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ♡

#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima smut #tsukishima x reader smut #hq smut #haikyuu smut #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima x female reader #toriwritesshit #not fair!

[cissyenthusiast010155]

B!tch in Heat~Elle Greenaway xFem Reader

Elle Greenaway fic... Pre-Fisher King. A kind of enemies to lovers for Elle and a BAU team member reader. 

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!!, degrading kink, praise kink, lots of curses, sex, riding, doggy style, more implied sex, implied oral, sex toys, power struggle, top/bottom power play, possibly triggering criminal activity from case (mutilation, kidnapping, killing, etc.), just lots of kink and smut

about 2k words

Enjoy (;

You had been on the team for around 6 months when you meet Elle Greenaway. She was flirtatious, feisty, and not to be messed with. She quickly joined the team, which meant you had to get used to her sometimes annoying nature. She jived well with Morgan, and you just came to the overall conclusion that she wasn’t for you. She just wasn’t you cup of tea. And that was fine. She was your coworker. Nothing else.

Like any other day, you and your team had a case. You were dragged out to north east this time and it was a hard one. By the end of the day, everyone was exhausted and ready for the hotel. Just as exhausted as the rest of the team, you went to Hotch to get your room key. “We’re doubling up tonight, Y/N your with Elle”. You we’re so tired you couldn’t believe it for a second. Seriously?! Her?! You just sighed, took the key card, and accepted your fate.

You got to the room, and Elle was already somewhat unpacked, had claimed a bed thank god there were two, and was now showering in the bathroom. You went over to the unclaimed bed and began to take out your bathroom bag and your sleepwear. Elle exited the bathroom a few minutes later, her hair wet and in a towel. She was wearing a tank with sweats. “Bathroom’s yours” was all she said. You rolled your eyes a bit, but decided you were tired and just wanted to go to bed. You did your nighttime tidings, changed into your baggy shirt and sleeping boxers, and made your way straight into your bed. No words were spoken. You just went to bed. And in the morning it was similar. Few words spoken, lots of silence as you both got ready. 

You meet the team in the lobby and had a feeling that Elle’s eyes were constantly on you, or at least side eyeing you. Again, you decided it wasn't worth it. You were better than that. You didn’t want or need a cat fight with a bitch. Woah... Some strong words for your co-worker... But it was true. Elle could be a real bitch sometimes, Sometimes?? No, it was all the time. Anyway, the day went by in similar frustration to the last, not much to work with. It was getting to the whole team who were all slowly wanting to go home more and more. You wanted to spend the least amount of time with that bitch, Elle Greenaway as possible. But you were forced stayed another night. And the night had the same uncomfortable, tension filled silence. You needed to do something to get your mind off of her, god damnit.

So, you pulled out the case files to partially distract yourself, but also because the case was bothering you in how stuck your team was. This apparently was disturbing to Elle’s beauty sleep because for the first time today, she spoke, “What are you doing?” she snarked, “I’m trying to get some sleep”. You had had enough so you bit back, “And I’m trying to solve the case of girls being mutilated in pairs, which we all seem to stumped on! So if you don’t mind!?” “I do indeed mind!” she snapped back, “We can’t solve this case if were not getting any fucking sleep!” By now, Elle was out of her bed and on the edge of mine partially yelling but containing it with the strain of her jaw. “What is your problem?!” you snapped back, standing up in between her and your bed’s edge, “What is your problem with me?!” “I don’t have a fucking problem with you!” she snarked back. You had had it. “Yes you do, stop fucking lying!” She took a step back, shaking her head, “Fuck you.” she sneered.

And that’s when it clicked for you. “Is that what you want from me?” your tone turning less angry and more tauntingly playful. Elle said nothing. You stepped closer to her, farther from the bed, “Is that what you want? To fuck? No more than that... do you want be fucked?” you tauntingly purred. Elle said nothing. Instead, she crashed her lips into yours. “Fuck you...” she murmured as your tongues fought for dominance. “Hmmmm... You’d like that wouldn’t you...” you breathlessly purred. You ended up winning and tongue fucking her out a few moans and whimpers, but then she pushed you onto your bed. She crawled on top of you and arrogantly whispered while pinning you to the bed, “No. I’m gonna fuck you. I’m gonna fuck you hard. So hard that you won’t be able to walk properly tomorrow.” Damn was she seductive and sexy on top, but this was not how the night was gonna go. So, you slyly and expertly flipped your positions, pinning Elle in an even more tight hold. and you just looked at her, squirming to get back on top “Nice try.” was all you said, in your best seductive and dominant voice. She continued to struggle and fight, you just darkly chuckled and watched her, eyes filling with lust. “The more you fight it, the more you won’t remember your name in the morning...” you threatened in a whisper into her ear, “You think you threatened me by not be able to walk tomorrow?” you darkly chuckled again, “Love, the things I could do to you..” You went even closer to her pinned face and whispered a string of filthy actions and punishments and Elle froze up for a second and whimpered. You could still see dominance and fight in her eyes; however, it was slowly being replaced by desperate, needy lust. “Now... Be a good girl and stay. Stay. You understand?” you sternly said. She hesitantly nodded. “Words bitch.” you spat, “No one likes a brat.” She swallowed down her pride and simply said “yes”. 

You smirked as you released your body pressure from her and went up to grab your bag and go into he bathroom. You pulled your double edged strap out and pulled your shorts over it for some hidden aspect (although that thing was so massive, nothing could really hide it...). You cam out of the bathroom with Elle still on the bed, waiting for you. “Look at my good girl. See, you CAN listen and be good” you cooed. She just smirked. You climbed on top of her and kissed her hard. You tongue fucked her for a solid minute or so until you both needed to catch your breaths. You continued with a sultry, lustful tone, “Tell me what you want, bunny.” Elle looked at you desperately and almost mischievously, she suddenly ground herself against your packing heat, causing a moan to slip out of you from the dick bottoming you out. “Double sided, eh?” she smirked and whispered into your ear, “I want all our clothes off right now, bunny.” You should have called her out on the sarcasm, but you were in too much of a lustful state. And so was she. You both basically tore each others clothes off. “Please..” Elle whined desperately. “Well since you asked so nicely” you tauntingly purred. As you began to slide into her deliciously, wet pussy, Elle strategically flipped you around. Now you were in a position where Elle could ride the fuck out of your brains. This was dangerous. Too dangerous. Be rolled her hips against your body, and an unholy moan tore through your body. “I don’t want you to as nicely” she degradingly snarled, “I want you to beg like a slut. Beg me to ride your fucking brains out”. At this she started actively grinding and riding the strap, causing a string of curses and moans to leave your mouth, “God please don’t stop” you mewled. “That’s right, I’m your God.” she spitefully spat, as she picked up her pace. Now you were both moaning and mewling messes about to cum, but she was on top. She was dominating you. And you were letting it happening. And she loved it. You both came seeing stars, legs trembling, you moaning her name. “That’s right, whore, you belong to me.” she lustfully sneered, coming down from her high. 

This was when you took your opportunity. You flipped her onto your stomach and pulled her legs up to your where you were there, kneeling and meeting her ass. You grabbed her arms with you left hand and pulled her close to you, “Such a bad girl. You don’t get to call me those things when your the one like a bitch in heat. So that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna fuck you like a bitch in heat. I’m gonna fuck you doggy style until your legs go numb and your squirting and cumming like its no ones business but mine” you threatingly taunted. Before Elle could respond you rutted into her and she moaned loudly, one you could tell was out of pain and pleasure. You used your hold on her arms to thrust into even harder and deeper. And God it felt good on your end too. But that wasn’t the point. Elle’s legs had started to really tremble, and you could tell she was on the edge. “You wanna cum bitch?” you sneered. Her response was a mix of a mewl, moan, and nod. You pulled her closer to you, achieving a whole other angle and making Elle scream in pleasure. “Then beg, bitch” you lustfully sneered. As you thrusted into her with no mercy, and you about to cum on your own as well, she managed some words together, “Please fuck, let me cum. I’m yours all night if you just let me cum this once. God please, you win.” “Good girl” you gladly purred, “Your mine. Go ahead, cum on my dick”. Elle came first, screaming your name, and you right after her. She sat there and was about to get her clothes on when you grabbed her, “What, did you think we were done? No, you belong to me now pet, on your knees.” 

The next morning you went down to the lobby to meet the team. You could see the stagar in Elle’s walk. No more spiteful from side eyes from her, you thought with a smirk was you sipped your coffee which you desperately needed as you had slept almost no wink last night. Thankfully your team solved the case and that meant you were all in the jet on the way back in no time. You decided you needed to catch up on some of your sleep and were gonna take a nap, but before you were able to close your eyes, you noticed Reid collecting money from a not very happy Morgan. You quickly piped up, “Hey, what’s the money about?” Reid blushed and Morgan miffed answered, “We had a bet about you and Elle and I lost”. Reid smirked and Morgan just side eyed him for a second and said, “I can’t believe you were right!” Now you were confused... But Elle butted in before you, “Wait what?! What bet? And who was involved?” Basically the whole bus snickered as everyone but Gideon raised their hands slightly. Now you interjected, “Ok creeps, What was the bet??” pointing to everyone in a circular motion on the jet. Morgan side shouldered Reid, “You wanna tell them kid or should I?” Reid just blushed, and JJ interupted, “We... we bet on who we thought would top each other out of the two of you” she said in her hesitant, sweet tone. Reid’s actions suddenly made sense. He had bet you would top Elle, and he had been right. But Elle interjected your thoughts, “Who bet on who?? And who do you think won??” Now it was Aaron’s turn, “Oh come on Elle, your walk, bruises, and hoarse throat this morning spoke miles.” Elle was speechless. Morgan piped up, “I bet on Elle, so did Garcia and JJ. Hotch and Reid bet Y/N. Gideon didn’t bet.” Elle just sat there with her mouth agape. You just chuckled and went over to her and purred quietly enough for only her to hear, “What’s the matter, bitch? Cat got your tongue..?”. She turned beet red which made you try and stifle your laugh by biting your lip. With that Morgan chuckled, “I can’t believe I was wrong... I’m never usually wrong with this stuff...” You just chuckled to yourself, when Reid meekly said, “Well just because someone would top you, doesn’t mean they would top everybody.” At that you and the team couldn’t contain their laughter, as Morgan sat there just speechless. 

#elle greenaway fanfic #elle greenaway #elle greenaway smut #elle greenaway x reader #agent elle greenaway #agent elle greenaway smut #agent elle greenaway x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #criminal minds #lesbian #bisexual #omnisexual #omnisapphic #top/bottom #enemies to lovers

[incarnateirony]

I think the most profane thing in all of this was the smugness of the studios. They're only just now admitting to the public that this is going to impact movie and TV schedules, and started by saying "may impact" even as recent as a week or two ago, while the older CEOs that already got out and ran in the past are now going, "No, this is about to turn into catastrophic collapse of the entire industry, if this drags on till christmas these businesses will not even have the money to order anything."

Even Zaslav is shifting uncomfortably now going, well, we need a resolution, all the projections (that we convinced investors and the stock market of) are based on September back to work date. And he said that Thursday, and they failed to come to an agreement Friday.

They have, at best, one more shot at this in the next few weeks, before that "September back to work" date of Zaslav disappears into the bullshit wormhole he's been pulling it out of.

Even *if* everyone got to work *tomorrow*, it still takes months to write, develop, put things through pre-prod. And the holidays are coming full of stop gaps. Things wouldn't even start filming till like, new years break ends. And then shows want a few buffer months of filming ahead, so you'd be looking at a Spring schedule at best. And that says nothing for piled up double bookings for creatives and actors, et al, pushing things out and out and out.

Like, let me use Supernatural for example. It used to run Sept-Apr or so, then eventually moved Oct-May. When a season ended in mid May, even before any official renewal, authors were passing around next season ideas, and had initial drafts by, say, late June of where they were going to go with arenas and assigning future writing assignments over the team. Then July and August are actually, you know, writing it and pushing it through other pre-production phases, including studios sticking their dicks in to bounce it back, and the network, and whatever else. That's why there's multiple drafts--Writer, Network, Production. Then by late August and into September they're filming, and in SPN's case, it was 8 days/episode. This varies per show, 6-10, but 8 is a good average anyway. Weekends aren't included, so you can generally get about 3 episodes in a month done, give or take. And they like to have about in the bag before air, for a plethora of reasons. So a late August filming > Sept > Early Oct is like 6-7 weeks filming for five episodes.

While minor details may change on different shows, this is a general rhythm to account on, and it's a show of good averages all around.

So with this in mind, the writers haven't written SHIT because STRIKE. So this entire quarter is bumped at least into next, and then filming into next year, and so on.

And they *might not even get back to work by SEPTEMBER*. Then comes holidays and-- you see the problem here. Even some top reality shows are sort of off the table due to their hosts being part of SAG. Reality stars are even muttering about unionizing and discontent with pay, production groups not covered are falling in under IATSE who is this close to joining the rave.

And all they had to do was agree to pay fairly months ago. But they thought people would give up, that people would accept rewashed fodder instead of losing subscribers, that they could snow investors with "free cash flow" from not ordering things, even knowing they were going to reduce ordering anyway because they were in the red from over-ordering to pad content libraries in streaming. So some +100M cash flow is actually real pitiful when it should have another zero behind it. They are feeling it, and realizing, they did a fucking dumb. Penny pinching their work crew is going to tumble several media empires at this rate, but they STILL didn't come to the table properly and for real last time.

Like they Do Not Get It. The unions aren't going to stop, or bend. The unions want double payrate, and mostly should get it, or at least real damn close. But they kept offering pennies as if they had empty coffers while raking in hundreds of millions for CEOs, and those CEOs are about to lose everything from their refusal to break from their greed.

The industry was already due for a content retraction, but the least they could do is say, yeah, sure, we'll pay the people we DO hire fairly.

A lot of authors and actors are going to find themselves struggling for work after this regardless, but it's the kind of job they've already been working other jobs around. So "starving them out" was never gonna work, the suits never got that. All they want is fair returns for when they DO get work. But companies are proving they'd rather commit suicide than do that. And now, they're panicking, realizing, maybe they shouldn't? But what do now while running out of money?

WB's current plan for example involves selling off a lot of its international and sports networks, but the irony is, that's the only thing keeping them floating, but they're reaching a point of no other choice. At this rate these studios are about to have to sell ALL their linear stations, bail from classic broadcast, and put everything into streaming. Otherwise, we're watching their slow fall.

#wga strike #sag strike

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Fig Faeth Junior Year Playlist: Side A

It's no surprise that Fig Faeth's playlist is the one that I actually listen to the most. It's just a very good vibe and I love her. Took extra time to Song descriptions and thoughts down below. Spoilers for Episodes 1-10.

Genres included: Pop-punk, Punk, Alternative

1. hair out, Stand Atlantic

Am I fuckin' up my life? I'm just tryna make improvements Slowly givin' up the fight But I gotta cover up the bruise That I get from all the Expectations give me vertigo Wasting away to the pressure The pressure, The pressure, oh

This song is such an earworm, scratching a specific itch in my brain. Love the fact that both Kristen and Fig (the failing girlies) start with a Stand Atlantic song, and it works with the way that Fig is coming at this season. From the jump, she is one of the most visibly and audibly burnt out, specifically from the pressure of the "sophomore album" that was supposed to come out months ago. This song is definitely about the pressures of a songwriter as well as the pressures of life in general so it fits sooooo perfectly. Especially with the "I can already here people hating the song" outro *chefs kiss*

2. Who The Hell Am I?, NOBRO

God, I'm tired of being like this I can change, but in a minute Always looking for the back door, on the run Always at the party, never quite having fun Play with fire, and you're gonna get burned I'm on fire, and you know it hurts I was always on the outside looking in Maybe it's me 'cause I never wanna fit in

Fig's class struggles, her conversation with Mazey, I can't take it. I feel like we've all been there. I really love how the narrative with her has progressed, like last season was deconstructing her need to mold herself into other people (or into an idealized version of herself) now she's trying to figure out who she is at her core without all the disguises.

3. 7 Years Bad Luck, Glasseater

Something strange seems to be plaguing me Everything I touch falls apart I've lost it all, losing all my luck Suffering 7 years bad luck

I don't particularly love this song, a little too unintentionally underproduced, but it deserves a spot on this playlist. I feel like I would be Fig in the curse situation. It took me a literal year to deal with debilitating stomach problems, and I, too, waited until my friends noticed to actually do something about it. Either way, can't wait to learn more about the weird Galier Pride curse, love the representation for my stomach problem girlies

4. Where the Heart Is, Sweet Pill

Get this My mind's been in a million places but my body hasn't moved an inch And I feel like I'm missing out again Ignoring my plans Wondering how they went Feeling bad about it If I could just take a chance I wouldn't feel so bad To see past myself I wouldn't feel so bad

This is Fig's final decision to try Paladin after doing so well with Warlock. She knows the priorities in her gut don't match with what anyone else says, but she's discovering her loyalty. She's figuring out her actual drive... following her heart <3

5. Impostor Syndrome, Sidney Gish

Unfortunately, I am My own dog, my own fur companion My own old lady on a forum Who types in glittery decorum Unfortunately, I take Myself out walking every day and I had my legs to the feet and I give my head to the leash

Making Fantasy High playlists is like making a ven diagram of which dog-themed songs are Tracker-coded and which are Fig-coded. This one, to me at least, is Fig-coded. (yes, I do have a tracker playlist, and yes, every song in it is dog/wolf specific, BUT THEY'RE GOOD OK). We love our Oath/Pact of the German Shepard.

6. You Owe Me Nothing In Return, Alanis Morissette

I'll give you countless amounts of outright Acceptance if you want it I will give you encouragement to chose The path you want if you need it You can speak of anger and doubts Your fears and freak outs And I'll hold it

So I know that we're gearing up for Fig's Warlock/Paladin agreement post "mooner yulenear," but this is my interpretation of what it's going to look like. She cares about her friends, and she would do anything for them! And though I know this song came out in 2002, Alanis Morissette is a 90's icon and perfect for the grungy riot grrrl vibe I see for her

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #d20 #d20 fhsy #spotify #fantasy mixtapes #fig faeth #d20 fig #fhjy spoilers #d20 spoilers #emily axford #Spotify

[skylarsblue]

May I make a request for an age regressed reader who really wants Bo Sinclair to watch MLP with them?

Or did I already send this? I don't know. ;-;

(I’m gonna assume this is Gen 4 because that’s the best one (fight me). Also, first age regression request! FLUFF TIME)

❀Bo w/ A Regressed MLP-Fan Reader❀

✧Age Regression; AGE REGRESSION IS NOT A KINK I DON'T WANNA HEAR ANY ARGUMENTS. It's cute and y'all need to accept it.✧ ❤Fluff, no cursing this time, hard opinions on fictional ponies, GN!Reader, a singular mention of a kink but it's just some silliness, reader briefly implied to have long hair but it's barely there❤

Age regression is a pretty niche thing to talk about, even more so back in the early 2000s. Gonna be real, bub, he's not gonna have any clue what you're talking about if you bring it up.

Seeing you regressed probably first happens as an accident, a stressful situation became too much and you just started acting differently. He wouldn't get it, watching you grow subtly more clingy and quiet, timid almost. He'd be concerned but he wouldn't ask questions at the time.

Assuming you brought it up later, he'd need you to explain it in at least three different ways, honestly. He's never personally experienced something like that(he thinks so anyway), which makes it hard for him to understand.

"Your brain just...makes you act like a kid sometimes? Why?" "Because my childhood was trash and it wants to find a way to cope. Being an adult is stressful, Bo." "...You got a point there."

After he's grown to understand it, he won't have any problems with it. Oddly enough, he'll slowly start to find it cathartic for himself. He'll find himself getting a lil dopamine boost whenever he starts noticing you doing something that signals you're teetering.

Won't indulge you in front of his brothers unless his brothers start to act kind of caregiver-ish. Bo don't share.

You will absolutely ruin the daddy kink for him. He can't hear the word in that context anymore and it makes him cringe when he does.

Bo doesn't like cartoons, he never really has. He's never really been a TV person in general, it tends to serve as background noise whenever he's doing something else. But he does have a habit of saying he won't be watching the show you're watching, then he'll just stand behind the couch, forgetting the task he was about to start.

Will probably tease you for liking My Little Pony, I'm not gonna lie. Nothing too mean though! He just likes making you all pouty.

He's gonna roll his eyes and cringe when you ask him to watch it with you. He's a grown man! He doesn't have any business watching a "little girl's show". But he's got a soft spot in that charcoal heart of his, so eventually, he'll cave. But he's gonna complain!

He'll probably scoff and act like the show is killing his brain cells at first, but he's an idiot because he gets so invested. (Magic of Friendship boi)

His favorite is Apple Jack. I think that should be a given. He doesn't like Celestia though, feels a little too connected to Luna and he holds a grudge.

He starts to whistle the tune to the songs in his free time. He'll lose his mind and die on the inside if anyone points it out, because he's not doing it subconsciously. Except you. If you start singing to his whistling he's gonna just smile, cause he's a SAP.

"Bab Seed Bab Seed, what we gonna do-" "A bully on our tail gotta r- Oh son of a-" "YES! YES YOU KNOW THE WORDS!" "You hush your mouth."

When there are big villains in episodes he gets super into it. He acted personally offended when Discord made the Main 6 reverse their talents.

He did laugh when Chrysalis zapped Celestia but then immediately got upset when the other princess were affected.

Definitely had the song from Chrysalis pretending she was Princess Cadance stuck in his head for like, a month.

WILL buy you the toys but you gotta keep them in your room, he'll keel over in embarrassment if someone sees little pony figures on his shelves without the context.

He's kinda stingy about sharing you when you're small, but he'll allow his brothers to watch the show with you two if they want. Vincent probably likes the music, but he's not super into it. Lester might get more into it than you, actually, he likes pretty colors.

Vincent's favorite would be Twilight & Lester's would be a tie between Fluttershy & Pinkie Pie.

Once a group of tourists came into town in the middle of a long Two-Part episode and he missed most of it, so he drove into the city and just bought the CD of the entire season. FOR YOU, of course, TOTALLY NOT FOR HIM-

The TV was bright in the overall dim household, speakers turned up to allow the sounds of the cartoon to fill the room. The noise was coupled with the sound of crunching Goldfish crackers between your teeth, eyes tuned into the screen as calloused fingers worked through your hair. "Oi, eat your fruit too. Can't live off Goldfish." Bo said softly, nudging your leg with his boot. You were sat on the floor in front of him, between his legs, whilst he messed with your hair. You let out a little huff but grabbed the pastel bowl on the coffee table, poking a fork into some strawberries. You looked over your shoulder as you ate one, awaiting praise. "That's better." Bo mumbled, patting your shoulder.

You turned back to the screen, watching the group talk about Fluttershy's "stare". With a little hum to catch his attention, Bo looked down, waiting for your words. "Who's your favorite?" You asked softly, voice picked up in pitch slightly. Bo rose an eyebrow and glanced at the screen. "Apple Jack, she's the only cool one." He said, unable to stop the smirk as you gasped. "Fluttershy's cool!" You insisted, turning to face him. "She's a wuss-puss, doll. Not cool." He taunted, chuckling as you tossed a pillow in his face. "Don't hate the messenger! I'm just saying the truth!" He chuckled as you smacked him with the pillow again, which he blocked with ease, snickering as you settled into his lap with a pout. "You take that back!" He held his hands up in a faux surrender position. "Alright alright, they're all cool. How about that?"

Your gaze narrowed suspiciously at him, slowly lowering the pillow back onto the couch. "Mmm okaaay-" "Except Fluttershy." Bo laughed again as your mouth dropped open in offense, blocking your hands from getting the pillow once more. Left without your weapon, he squeezed you tightly, leaving you unable to use your arms. "You traitor! Bully!" The man snickered as you fought against his strength valiantly, only to dramatically give up a minute later. "I'm too tired now. I'm sorry Fluttershy, I've failed you." You mumbled with a tiny frown. Bo rested his chin on top of your head with a chuckle. "I'm sure she'd appreciate your efforts, doll. Now finish your fruit, took me forever to cut'em into shapes, ya know." He said, grabbing the bowl. You hummed and tapped your chin as if you were debating, looking at the ceiling in thought. "My hands don't work." You said suddenly, dropping your hands into your lap.

Bo rose an eyebrow and tilted his head. "Oh they don't, do they?" He asked, watching you shake your head. "Nope, they don't work." You insisted. The brunet clicked his tongue and gave a somber sigh, putting a piece of fruit on the fork. "Such a shame." He said with an eyeroll, holding the fork to your mouth. You took the fruit and nodded intensely. "'S a shame!" You slurred, whining when he pinched your nose. "Don't talk wit'cha mouth full." He said, moving his head so yours could rest against his shoulder, getting another piece of fruit on the fork for himself this time. He looked back at the episode and narrowed his gaze. "...the hell is a cockatrice?" You laughed and shook your head, taking another strawberry off the fork. "You'll see, and it'll prove Fluttershy is the coolest!"

"Mhm, sure, whatever ya say lil' one."

#bo house of wax #fluttershy was the coolest #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #bo sinclair x you #slasher x reader #slasher memes #slasher headcanons #slasher #slasher community #slashers x reader #slasher x gender neutral reader #age regression #house of wax 2005 #house of wax #lester sinclair #vincent sinclair

[isaksbestpillow]

5 and 6 for bl tropes

5. Second Chance Romance

My favourite trope! I don't know what that says about me, but I just love a second chance romance even though I wouldn't want a second chance with any of my previous romances. I especially love queer second chance romance because often the reasons that lead to the breakup involve societal pressure and problems with self-acceptance. I can't fix an old relationship that fell apart because of my own internalised phobia, and while I now know it wouldn't have worked out anyway because of personal differences, it's still nice to find forgiveness in a story.

Anygays!!! After writing all that, I'm actually going to reinterpret this trope for my own purposes haha. Because I really want to answer More Than Words. It's based on the prequel to my favourite manga, In the Apartment.

First off, everyone please go watch this show, it's so moody in the best of ways and the acting is incredible!!! (It's Amazon Original in Japan) Mieko and Makio are best friends and high school classmates, Eiji is Makio's older university boyfriend who they meet at their part-time job. They're inseparable as a trio, but they're also young and stupid, and over the years their dynamic changes irrevocably.

It seems many many on Mydramalist at least were disappointed in this show because they thought there would be a happy ending for Makio and Eiji, but the thing is, this is not a story about them as a bl couple but about Makio as a young queer man. There is a happy ending for him, with someone else! A person can have more than one big love in their life.

I know I'm viewing this show differently because I've read all three volumes of the manga whereas the show stops at volume two, so I have that knowledge of Makio and Sugimoto as the endgame otp, but even without that knowledge I think this is such a wonderful story about second chances, not with the same person but with someone new. Even if you fucked up in the past, you can still start over with all your regrets. I mean, not everyone gets to live happily ever after with their first love and best friends from school!

6. Coming of Age

Itsay my beloved again! I love how it captures such a short period of time with such intensity. That's being young! Now if a month passes literally nothing changes for me or my relationships but in the past that was such a long time, a month.

Thank you for the ask!

#asks

[zunniva]

This is a short thing that came to me in a dream 😅😇

Older Eddie, like 40ish.

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️

Sexual content, strong language, both gay and straight sex so if that makes you uncomfortable. Read something else...

THE BET

"Why the fuck would I let you finger me in a RESTAURANT Evan? We've been on like 2 dates... you don't think we should like...I don't know...fuck in privacy first at least?" Lily's annoyed she likes Evan, god she likes him A LOT even. She wants him so bad, but being that level of exhibitionist this early on? That's asking a bit too much! Isn't it?

"What? No one's gonna notice pet. We're in the back, in a corner. Who's going to see us?" Evan smiles that mischievous smile that makes her knees weak, and it's one of the reasons a "good girl " like her even accepted a date with him in the first place.

"Well...to be honest, I wasn't worried about people seeing as much as hearing... I'm bad at keeping quiet. " she blushes

Evan leans in close, whispers in her ear "fuck Lil when you say things like that you make me so god damn hard"

She instantly looks down and yeah the guy looks like he's a bit uncomfortable in his jeans. She moans, feeling her pussy getting soaking wet.

"Please babe, I could make you feel so fucking good" he mumbles into her neck as his tounge plays below her earlobe.

"Oh, I have no doubt about that babe" she mumbles back. She's starting to crumble now. Should she let him?

They're interrupted by a waitress walking up to one of the other tables with a man. He sits down, and the waitress leaves him with a menu.

"Fuck me that's Eddie Munson" Evan says sounding very impressed...or maybe even admiringly. Lily glances over at the man in the dark corner. Fuck he's handsome. Dark curls and a short beard and the most piercing brown eyes.

"Who...is that?" Lily can hear herself sounding completely breathless

"Eddie Munson, THE wet dream of my entire generation! I've wanted him since I was 15" Evan can't take his eyes off the man in the corner.

"Older? Yeah?" she's totally mesmerized. She moved to Hawkins about 6 months ago, so to her, this man is all brand new.

"I'd say 40... Fuck I just wanna go up there and offer him a fuckin blow job under the table, I hear he's hung like a horse" Lily's not sure if he's aware he's talking out loud. But something inside her REALLY likes the idea of Evan disappearing under the table to swallow that gorgeous man's cock. She can even feel her juices starting to pool under her from the thought alone.

"So do it..."

Evan flinches and stares at her. "What..." he croaks

"Do it... go up to him and offer him that sexy mouth of yours. What's the worst thing that can happen? He'll say either yes or no. I bet you don't have the balls to do it" she smiles at him

"What's in it for me?" Evan says, looking longingly at the man.

"He's probably going to let you. If I'm right, I will get a nice show. If he says no...well then I'll fuck you right here at the table. So either way you win"

Evan looks at her. "It sounds very much like you enjoy this idea? Is there a little exhibitionist in you after all?" he grins

Lily takes his hand and guides it under her skirt. His eyes almost pop out of his head.

"Fuuuuuck! All because I said I wanted to give Eddie Munson a blow job under the table?" Evan takes out his hand and licks his fingers "mmmm you taste so good!" he says "Ok you have yourself a bet!" he clears his throat and gets up. Lily can see his cock straining in his jeans.

Evan hasn't a fucking clue what to do now... He'll win either way. But he has a feeling all bets are off if he chickens out, so here goes nothing. The closer he gets to the table where Eddie is sitting, the more jelly like his legs feel. He's there now, at the edge of the table. Eddie is looking at him, with a small smile in the corner of his mouth.

"Hey" the voice alone almost makes Evan cream his pants

"He-ey, I'm Evan" why does he have to sound like a falsetto toad right now?

"Can I help you?" Eddie's voice is amused

"Ehmmm, may I?" Evan points at the seat next to Eddie on the sofa

"Sure, I guess" Eddie chuckles

Evan sits down, his palms feel sweaty, and his voice feels like it's about to break "So...ehmm my girl and I" he waves at Lily "we...or she bet me I wouldn't have the balls to offer you something and have you say yes"

Eddie raises an eyebrow and looks over at Lily. There's a spark in his eyes as he looks at her. Evan gets it, she's stunning. "Ok? The offer?" Eddie's eyes are back on Evan

"A blow job... right here under the table... from me" Evan feels himself blushing like crazy

"What? Are you serious?" Eddie chuckles

Evan nods, swallows and says "I've wanted you since I was 15, Mr Munson..."

"First, it's Eddie. Second... you better get down there before the waitress comes back to take my order then. "

"I... what? Yeah...oh fuck... yeah right" Evans brain malfunctions, he WANTS him to suck him off! He disappears under the table, thanking his lucky star that the tablecloth is floor-length. Now he's kneeling between Eddie Munson's legs, and his brain can't make sense of what to do next

"Well, go ahead, he's all yours." he hears an amused voice from above

His hands feel shaky as he runs them up Eddie's thighs, closing in on his fly. He unzips the pants, and Eddie discretely pulls his pants down, boxers and all. A MASSIVE erection hits the underside of the table, and Evan thinks he's going to pass out. It's even better than the rumours. His hands now move on their own grabbing the throbbing cock. He strokes it a few times before he moves in closer and wets his lips. God, even his crotch smells good, he thinks before he opens up wide and takes the head in his mouth. He plays around the head with his tongue, and he hears that Eddie hasn't got the easiest of times up there. Maybe he's actually doing good? "Such a fucking good mouth" he hears Eddie mumble and a hand comes down and grabs his hair

At the other table Lily is going insane. Evan actually DID dissappear under the table, so is he really sucking that God of a man's dick right now? She can't help it. She lets her hand slide under her skirt. She's a fucking mess, she's definitely leaving a wet spot on the upholstery. She's staring at Eddie's face. He's starting to show signs of pleasure. Wow...Evan must be doing a good job! It looks like Eddie's having a real good time. Suddenly Eddie's eyes meet hers and there's a surge of something. He motions to her to come over. Wow, shit... She gets up, fixes her skirt, and walks over. At the same time, the waitress comes over as well.

"So what can I get you, Mr Munson?" She says

Eddie clears his throat. "I'll have the steak and a beer. What about you guys?" He's looking at Lily, she's at the table now

"Oh, we ate before you came in, thank you though" she smiles at the waitress. "I left money for the tab at our table. Me and my boyfriend just wanted to say hello to Eddie before we left" Wow she's quite the actress Eddie thinks, and fucking gorgeous. The waitress looks a little confused than turns and looks at the table they had been sitting at

"Oh, yes. I didn't recognize you at first. Was everything to your liking miss?"

"Yes, thank you. Everything was great." Lily just wants her to leave so she can find out what Eddie wanted from her. The waitress smiles and goes over to their table, takes the money and the tip Lily left and leaves to give the kitchen Eddie's order. Lily looks down at Eddie

"Please... Mmmm...have a seat" he groans

Lily sits down beside him. "Why did you wave me over here, Eddie?" She smiles

"If I'm not mistaken, this belongs to you?" Eddie mumbles and lifts the tablecloth. Lily's eyes meet Evans, as he's almost at the hilt of the biggest dick she's ever seen.

"Wow!" She breathes. She can't help it she squirms in her seat. This is the hottest thing she's ever seen. She knows Evan swings both ways. He told her so on their first date.

Eddie leans in, places one hand on her thigh. He whispers in her ear, "What's wrong sweetheart, you seem bothered. Feeling left out?" Lily's staring at Evans head bobbing up and down on that gorgeous cock. He locks eyes with her, he heard what Eddie whispered. He nods at her.

Lily turns to Eddie

"Yes..." she moans quietly. Eddie's eyes go black as his face lights up with a devilish smile.

"Panties off , right now" he growls at her, sending shivers down her spine. She wiggles out of her panties and puts them in her purse for now. Eddies hand wastes no time running up her thigh towards her wet pussy. She looks down at Evan, his pupils are blown. He's sucking dick like his life depended on it at the same time as his eyes are fixed at what's happening under her skirt. "Roll your skirt up so I can get to the good stuff" Eddie mumbles, Lily looks around. She's still not sure about this public thing. But this corner is even more private than theirs were, and she's not visable from anywhere because of the massive table. She does as he asks and he purrs "Good girl" at her, making her even wetter. His hand reaches her slit and he chuckles softly "well, well, well...looks like your girl here likes what she's seeing...Evan was it? Fuuuuck you're good" his other hand grabs Evan by the hair again. His fingers start inching their way in between Lily's folds, sliding effortlessly in her slick. She lifts one of her legs and puts her foot on the sofa next to her so he can really touch her. Evan lets Eddie's massive dick slip out of his mouth

"Fuuuuck Lil, you're so God damn sexy" he pants. Eddie looks down at him

"Fuck yeah she is, and this pussy...wow I'm almost jealous you get to hit this all the fucking time" his fingers has found their way in to Lily now, and the most obscene wet sounds fill the air. Lily is trying so hard not to scream, this is so good. She moans, louder than expected. Eddie just chuckles. He looks down at Evan

"Ok, here's what were gonna do. I wanna finish my meal but I also wanna finish in or on either one of you. You two go to the hotel down the block and get a room, I'll pay. Then you decide which one of you, and in what way I'm going to fuck you until you scream! Deal?"

Evan looks up at Lily, she meets his stare and they nod "Ok, deal" Lily says out of breath as she was very close to coming on Eddies fingers. She NEEDS to feel this man inside of her again.

"Great, see you in a little bit. Here's my number, text me what room and I'll be there asap" Eddie writes down his number on the back of a business card as Evan crawls out from under the table. Lily fixes her skirt, smiles at Eddie who just winks at them. They see him adjust himself and pull up his pants before they leave the restaurant, Lily with her panties still in her purse and Evan with an aching hard-on.

They smile at the waitress as they leave and head out to the parkin lot.

"What the FUUUCK!" Evan says as they get in the car "is this happning Lil? Like is this happning to you too or am I dreaming?"

"No...no you're not. I do belive our first sexual encounter is going to be WITH Eddie Munson. And can I say... I get the hype... OMG Evan"

"Right?! But like...we both fuck him right? I mean sharing is caring?" Evan smiles at her and Lily gasps with the thought of Evan getting nailed to the bad by Eddies massive dick

"Yes, absolutely yes! If you're ok with it I am" she says, sort of surprised at herself for being so open minded about sharing the guy she's just started dating with a 40 year old God of a man.

They get to the hotel and they get a room. Evan texts Eddie which room number they have and then they sit down on the bed. At first there's a bit of an awkward silence, but then Lily thinks to her self 'Fuck this' and she gets up and takes off all her clothes. Evans eyes almost pop out of their sockets

"Wanna join me here stud?" she smiles and holds out her hand to him. He takes it and she pulls him to his feet. She starts kissing him and unbuttoning his shirt. "Get naked and let's give him a show when he walks in" she purrs. Evan does as he's told. He strips down in a flash, cock slapping his belly as he pulls down his boxers. It's leaking pre-cum from earlier. Lily lets her hand slide down and stroke him. "He seems so left out, poor thing. You want me to pay him some attention" she whispers. Evan just nods. Lily smiles and gets down on her knees infront of him, strokign his cock. Which isn't a bad size either, it's just not a monster like the one who will join them in a little bit. She takes him in her mouth and lets him slide down her throat. She's been blessed with a next to non existant gag reflex. It takes A LOT for her to gag on anything. She doesn't stop until she feels his pubes tickle her nose, Evan is moaning like a mad man already, he's grabbed her hair, helping her set a pace.

"Fuck Lil, you're amazing, I wanna cum down your throat so bad. But I wanna fuck you as well, slow down a little" he moans and she does. She lets him out of her mouth and continues licking the shaft instead all the way down to his balls. She sucks one in and lets her tongue play over the roundness.

"Fucked many men his size?" she smiles at Evan as she strokes his cock

"I don't think anyone fucked many men his size" Evan moans in anticipation

"Then maybe I should warm you up a bit" she says with a husky voice and Evan chokes on his own saliva

"What" he coughs "you'd...finger me?" he says

"Of course, I don't think that monster would fit if there wasn't some warm up work done to your ass first" Lily steers him back to the bed making him sit down. She straddles him and lets her soaking wet slit slide up and down his shaft "how about it? You want me to?" she whispers

"Are you real?" Evan says "but hell yeah I want to" Lily stands up again and he crawls up the bed to make himself more comfortable. She lays down between his legs and he pulls up his knees so she can get to his ass.

"Look at that, so pretty" she says smiling at him before she leans in and lets her tongue play on his asshole. Evan lets out a coarse moan. Lily puts two fingers in her mouth and covers them with saliva, then she slowly presses them against his waiting hole. Slowly, slowly inching her way in. Then she starts fucking his ass with two fingers, then three and just as she's about to try for four the door to their room opens.

"Well fuck me, you're wasting no time are you?" they hear Eddies voice

"I'm not done warming him up for you, come fuck me first" Lily moans as she gets to her knees pushing her ass out at Eddie.

"Oh hell yeah" he says and they can hear him undress. He walks up to the bed, and Lily's shivering with anticipation for what's to come. That cock...inside of her. Eddies calloused hands strokes her ass "so fucking soft, what an ass...and look at that pussy. My God how are you not buried in that all day long?" he says to Evan

"We...we've never had...sex" Evan moans as Lily is trying for finger number four now

"Wait? What?" Eddie stops "You're not a couple?"

"We've just started dating, we haven't gotten to the whole fuck thing yet. But we agreed this is a perfect first time" Lily says looking back at Eddie and wiggling her ass at him "please come fuck me now" she mewls

"You're sure? Both of you" he says and they assure him they're on the same page "well then, don't mind if I do" Eddie smiles and gets on the bed. He grabs Lilys ass and leans in letting his tongue slide from clit to ass in one go she squeals under him "oh that horny for me huh? You sure you're ready?" he's got his massive cock in his hand letting it slide through her folds up and down teasing her

"Yes...fuck yes" Lily's going crazy she just wants something, someone to penetrate her NOW!

A soft chuckle behind her and she feels the tip press against her hole, OH GOD, he's huge. It's almost painful but in a good way as he slowly fills her up. "Such a good fucking girl taking me sooo good" he growls as he hits bottom. He slowly starts moving after a short pause to let her get used to him. "God your pussy is amazing" Eddie moans as his pace quickens, Lily can't handle more now. She's been so turned on for so long now she crumbles and screams out the most intense orgasm she's ever had to that day. "Wow... didn't think you could get tighter but that's intense sweetheart you almost took my dick off" Eddie chuckles behind her as she comes back to reality. She's still four fingers deep in Evan who's squirming in front of her, his dick oozing pre-cum on to his stomach.

"I better pull out babe, or you'll shoot your load before Eddie gets a chance with you. I want you to cum in my mouth as he fucks you" Lily moans and the two men let out a guttural sound each, like that's exactly what they were imagening.

"I'ma be pulling out of you aswell sweetheart, or there won't be anything left for that sexy ass" Eddie mumbles and she feels him slip out of her, the emptiness is almost saddening. "Turn towards me" Eddie says in her ear, she turns and stands kneeling facing him. He takes a hold of Evans feet and just pulls him down on the bed like he's a feather. "Now then, lets see if I can make you scream as well" Eddie says with a dark sultry voice making both Evan and Lily gasp. Eddie grabs Evans legs and puts them on his shoulders, grabs a bottle of lube he must have had with him. He drenches Evans asshole with the lube "wanna help me get in to place there sweetheart?" he looks at Lily who's just mesmerized by the sight of Evans glistening asshole and the enormous cock waiting to enter. All she can do is nod, she leans in, grabs Eddies cock and carefully help him find his way in to Evan. Evan is writhing thinking to himself that soon he'll wake up and this would just be another wet dream. But the cock slowly inching it's way in to him feels real enough, oh GOD it feels good. He looks up, in front of him he sees Lily's pink pussy. He grabs her ass and pulls her down on to his face, he starts eating her out like she's the last meal he'll ever have. She screams out with pleasure slumping forward. She takes his dick in her mouth, she did say she wanted him to finish in her mouth. This is the perfect place to be, getting her pussy eaten, seeing Evan getting his ass filled by a monster cock and also getting to suck him while it's happening. This is almost too good to be true.

Eddies hit bottom now and is standing at the edge of the bed breathing heavily trying to be careful, knowing very well his cock isn't for everyone to accommodate. "Such a nice ass, so warm...so tight....ok if I move?" he moans

"Uhu" Evan mumbles in to Lily's pussy. It's stretching like he's never felt before but the pain is bareable. Eddie starts thrusting slowly, Evan moans loudly into Lilys pussy making amazing vibrations to her clit. She screams again as another orgasm takes her, she comes to quicker this time. Continuing her oral games with Evans dick. Soon she feels the pulsating that tells her he's so fucking close now. "Fuuuuuck Lil...I'ma blow" he moans and she feels the warm spurts fill her throat. She swallows as much as she can and the rest she licks up from his stomach. Eddie is wild-eyed from the show

"Fuck that was hot, I'ma cum very soon...where do you want it?" he huffs

"Let's share babe" Lily gets off Evans face and looks down at him smiling

"Of course" he pants

"Sweet Jesus, who are you people" Eddie groans as he pulls out of Evan and watch the two slip off the bed and kneel in front of him. He grabs his dick and strokes it feeling that amazing sensation as he closes in on orgasm. He roars as he squirts time after time on their faces . When he feels there isn't a drop left in him he has to lay down on the bed. He's completely spent...this was...NOT what he was expecting from a normal night out. The two on the floor giggle something about washing off and that they'll be right back. He just waves at them...there are no words right now. A few minutes later he feels them crawling in to bed next to him

"So Eddie...wanna make this a regular thing?"

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut

[writinandcrying]

Dark Corner | Part 2 - Michelangelo x GN Reader

(platonic friendship to something more? who knows, not me!)

Angst. Tw hinted depression, friendship loss, harsh decisions, unrequited love, anxiety, moods swings - mainly due quarantine, and uh- acceptance? melodramatic a little bit lols (i suck at summaries pls act like this is sexy enough to seduce you to read this fic)

songs that helped me write this

Hearing Damage - Thom Yorke

Apesar de Querer - Rodrigo Alarcon

Breezeblocks - Alt J 

Snap out of it - Arctic Monkeys

Why We Can’t Be Friends? - The Academic

Eventually - Tame Impala

Chp. 2 - And then it vanished

(Part 1) | (Part 3)

—————————————————————-

“Just rip the bandaid off”

The sudden sound of the weights thumping down floor woke you up for spiraling thoughts, yet, your body hadn't a single reaction out of it, it was normal to get used to abrupt, rapid movements when talking about Raphael, as he grabs his gym towel heading towards the exit, he looks back at you, even without glasses, even with the stinging sensation in the corner of your eyes due unshed tears, you can draw out a mix of angry and disappointed expression.

“If you can’t handle it, then rip the bandaid off”

And that’s what you did.

One thing you knew for sure; Your brain is a bitch. Your memory sucked ass into remembering nice moments: the sensation of kisses, the last good bone- crushing hug you had, the last time your mom said she was proud of you. But agonizing, painful memories? Those were on a loop constantly. 

Every strong emotion made Raph’s eyes shine like gemstones, vivid, vibrant, now varnished with disdain, it was beautiful; you hated how you were the reason his golden irises were so gleaming and captivating.

That was 6 months ago, at least you think it was, quarantine sure proved something: time is indeed an illusion that doesn’t make sense. It seems like it was longer than that, although the pain made you grounded as it was yesterday. The last conversation you had with Raphael felt like a sore goodbye on both ends. You wish you could forget it, trick your brain into thinking it’s a happy memory so it can toss it away into the nearest trash.

Looking back at it, you should have fought back. Argued, yelled at him even. You should've made your point about how you didn’t want it to let go. But you were so tired, god- the lifeless sensation of how your body felt back then still phantoms you, it was honestly ridiculous, how a simple phrase could drag you back into the shadows back then. Or maybe you were never truly out of it, just constantly living in the dark, both hyper-aware and oblivious. You didn't know anymore-  a sentence, a reaction, someone else even, those could easily remind you how dark your mind could dive, So yeah, you clearly didn’t have any more strength to fight back, who would have known that being in constant fight with your own self would be so arduous? Maybe only you will know how much it took it from you, how desperately you wanted to hold onto it. And maybe that was the problem, there was nothing to hold on to anymore.

During that night, you didn’t know how long you remained glued on the concrete ground after Red left their training room. How long you stared at the gray walls, the foundation of the lair was unsettling cold. It made you feel more isolated than ever, you found yourself unable to control random shivers traveling through your body. You felt small, pathetic. Tears quietly slid from your cheeks to the very end of your chin. You felt invisible, literally, you could identify what the lair residents were up to by your own lack of sound, vague questions and noises that made you feel even more distant and undeserving to be there. You don’t know how long you remained motionless; sitting and staring at nothing, wishing it was different, but not really sure how to change the future.

You don’t know how you managed to drag yourself to the entrance of the lair, you found yourself there at some point of the night, turning back one more time. You loved that place, even if it took ages to get used to the sewer’s damp smell, you still loved it. you have always seen it as home. Sure, it was actually an abandoned intersection of a reservoir sewage station, yet filled with bits of love. Sewer sweet sewer, In every corner, from the dōjō to any repaired piece of furniture, graffiti or neon sign, it was laced with care and devotion. A house could be made of wood, cement or bricks and it was made for shelter, a home means safety, comfort and belonging, a shelter and much more, The lair is a home. was.

Tears ran down your cheeks as you glanced at the Christmas lights above the homemade living room, you remember how you helped them place it there 2 christmas ago, the boys decided not to take it back, it gave a inviting cozy glow, which matched so gracefully with all the wonderful times you had there. 

It's strange to desperately have the desire to stay and run away at the same time, pressing your lips tight, inhaling deeply- you were not going to sob your way out of it. Gripping hard at your backpack straps, you know you were going to miss how they made you feel, especially him. Dealing with the lack of it, how it became a foreigner feeling once again was one of the toughest parts during this whole fiasco of…. whatever was left remaining between the two of you, only some fond memories lingered, for a while those were the source of warmth during silent nights, but lately, it was a fuel to a abyss you could not stand being in it no more.

When your friendship with Mikey first started, you initially thought ‘that's it, that's something to treasure forever.’ How can two people be so close one day, to complete strangers in a course of some weeks still perturbs your mind and heart to this day.

Mikey wasn’t home when you arrived that day, your first intention was to talk out your last text messages, You weren’t sure how the conversation would start, or if it would even flow at all, you truly missed the times you could just talk about anything to him finding a topic to bond over was as easy as breathing air. He’d be busy. He needed to train, or out with his new friends. As usual,you were always the understanding friend, you knew everyone has their daily duties and hell, being the overbearing clingy friend? No, thank you. 

You and Mikey were different, at least you thought so, it was ok to be vulnerable with him, and him to you, you shared how you always held back truly connecting with others, afraid of how dependable you could become. You’ve seen it firsthand how much that could hurt, Mikey made you feel that you could trust, that you could rely on him, and for once you believed it. 

The first time you felt the unsettling vibe of not being so welcomed anymore was heart wrenching, even by now, you thought you would get used to it. It happened too many times for you to “not receive an invitation”, to be forgotten over hangouts, to being left out of jokes. You knew way too well the thin line between hanging out and being invited over pity.

That’s how you ended up talking to Raphael, maybe wasn’t the starter choice, he was a good friend, sure, but not the greatest with words. Leo and Don would have tried to understand your end at the time. but Raph was closest with Mikey. He saw how sometimes your unspoken, pitiful- whatever the hell this”friendship” is could gut his little brother. Mikey had intense feelings just like Raph, he understood him, and at the end, he would choose his side over yours.

You looked at the lair one last time, trying to preserve what you know you couldn’t have anymore: the warm welcomings, laughing until 5 in the morning, Mario Kart competitions, you name it. As you choke out a cry and walk towards the exit, what were good memories are now too painful to be felt and be remembered, although you already knew that it would haunt you constantly.

Only if you knew a certain turtle, who’s very fond of the color purple, watched and listened to it all in his lab. All of it. All 6 months of it.

Donatello’s top 5 regrets was not coming after you when you ran out crying, if he only knew this would drag into months on end, he would tackle you in a hug and tell you that you are indeed going to be missed, the time he wished to respect your privacy, looking back now, he knew it was a bad move on his end, Donnie was too used to observation and theories, that in this moment the situation needed a bit more action.

When you first befriended the turtles, there was an unspoken contract that they would track every move of you, for your safety and theirs as well.Donatello still had trackers on your personal turtle device, all of their humans friends had turtle-watches, not only for safety or rapid contact, but it also tracked vital signals, indicating any problems or disturbances about their friend's health.

So, when Donnie didn't see both of you and Mikey hanging out weekly, he didn’t think much of it, maybe you were just busy. But,when your signals started to point signs of bad nutrition, he got worried. When it showed a barely fictional human being, followed by hasty, god-awful goodbye (the courtesy of his older brother) he got obsessed with checking on you at least 4 times a week.

When your tracker suddenly shut down, he knew it was bad.

A different sound emitted from Donnie’s lab one quiet morning, a sound that if you have paid close attention, never went off before, this could have gone unnoticed because well, It’s Donnie. Every month he was working on something new, so maybe that was it, right?

By the way the second youngest flew out off the living room couch and, almost knocking Leo as he passed by, it truly showed the severity of the distinct sound.

"You have been away from your lab for 15 minutes and there's already a "situation?" Leo stood by the lab door, watching his brother's fingers work frantically while his eyes didn’t leave the monitors. 

"Yes, i'm overachieving" Donnie replied, Leo cautiously approached, truth to be told, he wasn’t fond of Donnie’s lab. Sure, it was great for secret sharing, strategy talk, toaster fixing area, yes. However, the possibility that any sudden movements there might result in catastrophe made Leonardo feel uneasy to say the least. His movements were always precise inside his brother's favorite Lair spot. Don finally guided Leo's eyes with a short nod after a intrigued "So?" left his lips, a main notification wouldn't budge from the screen, your tracker wasn't on anymore.

The leader reached for his katana instinctively, ready to head towards the door. He felt a firm hand hold his bicep  

"Pump the breaks, I don't think that's necessary", Leo raised a brow, Donnie  was already familiar enough to understand how his brother was once again, questioning what on Earth he was on about - "I have been... monitoring them." Casting his eyes down, Don doesn't like to call it stalking, neither does his older brother, due the circumstances of their reality, they needed to keep an eye out, just to be to safe, That's what they would always say in the back of their heads. "I think they disconnected themself"

"Can you handle this?" Leo asked looking back towards the door to check if anyone was around. Donnie told him what happened that day, infuriated was a nickname for how the oldest felt after hearing about it. 

Raphael didn't had any right to treat you like that, but he also knew if they argued about this, Michelangelo would find out, and the possible outcomes of it weren't pretty. He did make sure to be somewhat transparent about his knowledge over the secret quarrel, glancing towards Raphael if someone questioned your sudden dissapearance.

Truth to be told, Leo had no idea what to do. Figuring emotional, sentimental matters isn't his strong suit, and talking with Master Splinter would only raise red flags all around the situation. So they kept the situation under the rug. only if he knew what was going on between the two of you would drag it for months, he truly wished he had done something sooner. 

"Yeah," Donnie remembers clearly how crushed you looked back then. Was it fair to visit you? To make you relive all those unpleasant memories? 

"I hope so." His carapace met the cushion of his favorite chair followed by a drawn-out sigh as silence settled between the two brothers.

Honey colored eyes turned back into the monitors, Donnie knew briefly how you managed to get by these past months. From monitoring subway stations you caught towards work, to hijacking the local market surveillance cameras. he was glad that you were indeed getting by or so it seems. Again, he doesn't like to call it stalking. It's not like he watches you 24/7, maybe, 16/7? Weekly checkups? Just to make sure you are alright, that's what friends do, right?

Donnie felt a light hand over his shoulder, followed by a pair of sorrowful yet sympathetic Imperial blue eyes, "Tell they have been missed." A half-smile graces Leo’s features. There was mutual sentiment between them. Just because you were mainly Michelangelo's (former) best friend, doesn't mean you didn't leave a print on everyone else.

 "Shall do." Donnie responds with an uncertain smile as he stares back into the monitors. Quickly gathering his gear, it was already nighttime. Soon enough they all needed to headout.

Don sneaked towards the garage entrance by Leo's guidance, he had exactly 48 minutes before patrol, he could be at your place in exactly 9 minutes and 36 seconds, 7 minutes if there was no humans luckering on closest manhole’s alleys to your place, Don lips grow thin and firm, is 38 minutes and 24 seconds is enough to cover a 6 month silence between all of you?

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(next) | (previous)

comments and feedbacks are welcomed!! and thank you @melancholysway for being so helpful into making this scenario possible!

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #dark corner #giulia writes #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt leonardo #tmnt raphael #tmnt donatello #tcest dont interact i swear to god. #tmnt scenario #tmnt fandom #tmnt headcanons #tmnt fanfiction

[piratefalls]

writing patterns

Tagged by @wellhalesbells! thanks friend!

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern! I'm going from oldest to newest.

What kind of rock is this? (Sedimentary, my dear Watson) | Hawaii Five-0 | McDanno | 3.7k

Steve is sitting in the driver’s seat of the Camaro, adjusting what has to be the single most uncomfortable seashell bra to ever be mass produced, and curses Mary’s inability to find even the most ridiculous costumes in an adult size.

2. & lift him back up again | Hawaii Five-0 | McDanno | 3.4k

“Steve,” Danny murmurs, one hand resting on Steve’s shoulder, gently nudging him to turn onto his back in their bed. “Babe, you gotta get up. You got -- you got stuff to take care of today.”

3. Got Your Body On My Mind (I Want It Bad) | Hawaii Five-0 | McDanno | 2.9k

Throughout the course of his life, Danny Williams has had to sit through a number of unpleasant experiences.

4. Always Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide | Teen Wolf | Sterek | 9k

Before he knows it, two months have gone by.

5. To Infinity and Beyond | Teen Wolf | Sterek | 1k

It’s a few weeks later, and Derek is sweating as he sits among a sea of people (but more specifically, right next to Stiles’ dad) as he listens to the Beacon Hills High School principal list off name after name as students walk across the stage to accept their diplomas.

6. this relationship we're staging | Hawaii Five-0 | McDanno | 2k

Steve generally doesn’t sleep with the fan on.

7. it's nice to say that we played in the dirt | Hawaii Five-0 | McDanno | 3.7k

She’s back on the islands for the first time in two years – at least, in the sense that she’s not there for work – and it hits her almost immediately how much she’s missed this place.

8. that's no concern when we're wounded together | Hawaii Five-0 | McDanno | 2.4k

Steve’s thrashing wakes Danny out of a deep sleep.

9. you and me get too real but all I feel is alright | Hawaii Five-0 | McDanno | 11k

Hell Week had prepared Steve for a multitude of situations, but it had nothing on two weeks of solitary confinement in Halawa Correctional Facility.

10. it's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes | Hawaii Five-0 | McDanno | 3k

It’s that weird period between Thanksgiving and Christmas where no one really knows what their plans are.

tagging: @priincebutt because you tagged me in the other thing so this is like...tradesies. and if anyone else wants to do this, that's cool too!

#wow can you tell I only wrote in two fandoms lol #a lot of these wound up being from the same 'verse #and I really wish I could have shared my favorite line from number 3 because I still think it's one of the funniest things I've written #about me

[sexydreamgirl]

Hello hera :) i'm currently writing this to you while crying. I broke up with my boyfriend whose i manifested 2 months ago, we were on bad terms but one day i decided i'm manifesting him to regret it all and text me, so the same day he texted me after a long while of no contact. He told me that he has been having dreams of me about his regretful feelings. And asked me on a cinema date, we watched barbie together etc.

Last month i asked him to be my boyfriend and we were hella close we loved each other, we were good until last week. Our schools have started this week and we were deskmates but i was kinda depressed, used to feel negative about everything. So he got distant towards me in a week and told me that we were better as friends so we broke up 2 days ago. We sat next to different people today and i cried like at least 6 times. It hurts me so much that there is such a distance between me and the guy I slept on his shoulder last week.

I really need your opinion this, i'm depressed as fuck and i cry the whole day everyday. He was my only big manifestation also i literally manifested him ask me out in one day. He was in love with me for 9 months without telling me but we became strangers in one week. Literally i ruined everything in a week with depression. I couldn't manifest anything big else because it became a habit to focus on 3D. And i don't want to lose him the way i couldn't manifest being wealthy from focusing on 3D, the whole manifestation concept is so tiring and exhausting for me, i took breaks a lot of times but was never able to get out of the victim mindset and apply it the true way. I feel all alone and suicidal i need help... sorry for venting

This reads to me like you don't really understand the law of assumption because you seem to not be familiar with these two very important principles:

1. There is nothing to change but self.

2. If you keep accepting what you perceive through the senses, you will never be able to change self.

I encourage you to read and practice this.

[84reedsy]

The Mentorship, Part 7

The Mentorship

Characters: Curt Hennig/FemOC , Scott Hall/FemOC

Part 7 of ? (Parts not chapters, parts length varies)

Word Count: 6418

-----Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6----

Warnings/Considerations: Smut, Age Gap, Power Dynamics, Dirty Talk, swearing

The bouncer only looked at her long enough to know he would be getting a kickback, taking a small stack of bills from Curt, subtly.

“You can pay me back,” Curt mumbled in her ear as they walked into a dimly lit hallway. She was hyper aware of everything, feeling on edge in an unfamiliar environment. It didn't help that Scott was right behind her.  She knew everyone else was either already there or would be on their way.  She hoped she wouldn't still be a target of ridicule for Kevin.

She knew it might have looked odd, but she stuck closely to Curt. He ordered himself a double shot of Jack Daniels and a single for her as her inaugural drink. 

It set her throat afire and stalled her breath as she swallowed it in one gulp with immediate regret.

“Oh my god, that tasted like ass and fire and every bad decision I've ever made,” she blurted out. Those in her close vicinity laughed and clapped, “Don't ever do that again,” 

Curt downed his double easily and motioned for another. Scott also had a double of something similarly amber.

She looked at the bartender pathetically. He was cute, hopefully she could flirt her way into a better drink. 

“Help,” she leaned on the bar, pleading.

“Don't worry honey,  I got you.  This one's on me.” His dimples deepened when he smiled as he pulled out a short glass, filled it with ice cubes. She watched as he picked up a bottle labeled Knob Creek and a bottle of some sort of juice. He poured them over The ice in equal amounts and stuck in a tiny straw, “If you don't like this, I'll make you something else,”

She was reticent, but stirred the drink before taking a gentle sip.

“Oh my god,” she took a bigger sip, “This is amazing,” another long drink until it was nothing but ice.  

“Damn,” Scott ordered himself another,  “get her another one, on my tab. Make this one a triple,”

She met his eyes, trying to determine his intentions. He still didn't seem as friendly as they had been, but he wasn't giving her the cold shoulder. 

“Thank you,” she took the drink and sipped it through the straw still maintaining his gaze. She coughed slightly at the stronger notes of whiskey, but did not set it down, heeding Scott's warning.

Luckily, she wasn't much of the focus, pinned in the back of a circular booth by bodies on either side of her. She was entertained by road and personal stories, learning more about her coworkers tonight than she had in the previous months. She saw their kids’ photos, even. She was so entertained, that she had forgotten that Scott was on one side of her,  their legs occasionally touching. 

She also hadn't needed to worry about paying for a drink all night, but only accepted them if delivered by a server.  She was stuck for the evening as long as Curt and Scott wanted to drink,  which by their stature and tolerance, afforded them a lot more time.  

Brinkley finished the most recent of what she learned were whiskey sours. She felt a slight haze of dizziness, but couldn't land on how many she'd had. She didn't think it was that many,  but couldn’t seem to count past four. 

“Probably oughta cut you off,” Scott said. Curt was up shooting darts with Bret, beating him as easily as he had everyone else. His Mr. Perfect gimmick didn't seem that far-fetched.

“Why?” She looked up at him squinting even though the bar was quite dim, “I've only had a couple,”

“Three alone are on my tab, Curt bought you one,  one was on the house, and at least one of the guys bought you one,” he recounted, “No, two, Kev bought you that one,” he pointed at her glass of only ice. 

“He did?” She looked shocked, “but he was mean to me,” she looked around for him,  her head moving unusually slow.

“Was he?” Scott knew what she was referring to and tried to forget what he'd heard her say, “That's probably why it doesn't have alcohol in it.” He laughed at her shocked reaction.

“Yes, he was really mean. I can't really…remember how but I KNOW he was,” she tried slurping more from the glass, only managing to find melted ice, “And I'm really nice,” she defended. She looked around again and noticed they were the only two left in the booth. Everyone had left for pool, darts, local talent, or were at the bar.

“Is that so?” Scott sipped beer from a bottle.

“Yes, I am,” she found herself remembering why he might believe something opposite, “I didn't mean what you heard, by the way,” she was only slightly dizzy. She wondered how many of her drinks had been virgins.

“Doesn't make any difference to me,” he tried to shrug off the subject.

“I didn't mean what I said how you thought I said it, though. It makes a difference to me.” her brain struggled to connect the right words with what she wanted to say. She instinctively placed a hand on his forearm as if trying to impart her sincerity.

“How did you mean it then?  What else is there to regret,” he sounded angry, but he didn't pull away. 

“The ring. How I was in the ring.” She said quickly, “Russo just wanted me to kiss Dally tonight because I did the stripping thing with you last night.” Her own clarity came back to her, “To be really honest,  I don't regret doing the strip tease at all, but I just didn't like how the suits took it,”

Scott was quiet for a moment processing her words and deciding if she was indeed, being sincere. She was looking at him,  her eyes didn't shift or falter. 

“I'd never regret kissing you,” she said now, plainly. 

“Alright, I believe you,” he knew she'd harp on about it if he didn't give her something, “but,  you have to make it up to me,” he countered. He noticed a sultry flash in her eyes and now had to wonder how far she'd actually go to make it up to him. 

“What- what do you want?” She asked,  scooting slightly closer to him,  “What do you want me to do?”

“You're the one apologizing,” he took a long swig of beer, not taking his eyes off of her, “What are you gonna do for me?” He was careful in how he worded the vollied question.

With how long she was quiet, Scott could tell a number of things were running through her mind. 

“Well…” she swallowed the lump in her throat, “You could do anything you wanted. To me,” she wished she had another drink, hard or soft. Her mouth felt as dry as a desert.

Scott’s eyes widened a little,  but he managed not to spit out his beer at the surprise of such an open ended invitation.

“Anything I want, huh?” He tried to think of something that would make him feel better AND put her in her place, but her green doe eyes looking at him made any fiendish scheming difficult.

“Well…to start,  you're getting a real drink,” he motioned for the server and ordered two double top shelf Scotches, neat. 

Brinkley remembered the whiskey from earlier and was timid to say the least about something that Scott considered strong.

“Drink up,” he took a big sip of his own, but did not down it.

She looked nervously at the placid amber liquid.

“Half?” She asked hopefully.

“If you meant ‘anything’, then all of it.  And that ain't the end of it either,” he took the glass and pushed it closer to her. 

“1, 2, 3” She counted in her head before grabbing it tossing it back like had before. If there was ever something to regret, it would have been this. She slapped the table, feeling her body want to reject all of what she just ingested.

She coughed through the fiery burn, her eyes watering.

“Oh my GOD,” she managed out in response, “You actually like that stuff?”

Scott snickered.

“Yeah, that's a real man's drink. Puts hair on your chest.” he sipped more of his.

“Well I'll leave that to you. You rock that look better than anyone,” she turned her glass upside down so there was no chance it would be refilled.

“I do, do I?” He questioned, noting her delayed embarrassment.

“I mean…yeah. But you know that already,  don't you? Isn't that why you only wear the small trunks? To show off?” She tried to defend herself only to dig a deeper hole. 

“Not really. Was the cheapest gear when I started out. But good to know it's appreciated,”

“What else?” She asked him,  receiving a confused look,  “What else do you want me to do?” She reiterated.

“Give Kev a lap dance,” he smirked with a wicked gleam in his eye. He saw the panic cross her face as she looked at Kevin for a moment, the center of attention at the bar.

“I…I meant…I meant like, for you,” she stumbled, her head was swimming more now, the scotch working quickly.

“You said anything,” he wanted her to earn that apology. He didn't want to hurt her,  but his deviousness outplayed him. 

“She probably needs to head on back to the car,” Curt stopped by the table between rounds, noticing her glassy eyes, “I got one more game,” he set the car keys on the table. 

Scott was disappointed for his own game to be interrupted, but there were no time limits on her apology.

“I'll get her back to the car,” Scott downed the rest of his beer, “but I'm not babysitting,”

Sliding out of the booth, she felt like she was moving very fast. But as she stood, she realized she'd forgotten how to. She grabbed Scott's arm to keep from collapsing. 

“Scott, something is wrong with my legs,” she panicked, “they don't work, oh god, I'm paralyzed.” She tried to move her feet and they did, but not cooperatively.

“Jesus, you're not paralyzed,” he moved her arm to his shoulder, “hang on to me,” he might have still been haunted by her words of regret, but he couldn't leave her unattended in this state. He flipped off the hecklers as he helped her stumble out into the dark night. 

“Scott, my legs, something is wrong,” she repeated, forgetting she had already said so. 

“I know,  I know, you're paralyzed,” Scott braced her against him while opening the door to the backseat. 

“I am?!” She gasped, poking her thighs.

“Good god,” Scott grumbled, trying to position her in the seat. She held onto his shirt with tight fists and tripping over her own feet she fell into the floorboard. She nearly took Scott with her.  He lifted her at least to the seat,  his body positioned over her as she still held onto him. 

Though drunk, she still was startled by the position she found herself in. It sobered her slightly as even in the dim parking lot, she could still make out his strikingly handsome features.

“I thought you were still mad at me,” she said softly. He didn't answer, but she could see his jaw clench.

“I should be. I didn't get my full apology,” he said cooly.  

“I told you, “ She said earnestly, “I didn't regret  anything with you! I wanted that, I really did,” she fervently continued, looking at his lips,” and I want it again,” she lowered her voice,  hoping to see a receptive glint in his eye.

“I'm not sure you really do, you're drunk, girl,” his voice rumbled like thunder.

“Not that drunk,” her hands released his shirt, instead laying flat against his chest. One slid upwards,  running her finger tips over his stubble. Her thumb brushed over his lips,”maybe just drunk enough to be honest. Don't you want to kiss me again?”

“I don't know. Who knows what you'll go around telling people this time,” he couldn't help his insulting tone.

“I never regretted kissing you.  I've wanted to for a long, long time,” her eyes didn't betray her tone, looking up at him with an expectant want. 

“Don't be mad at me in the morning,” he mumbled, leaning down. She lifted up to meet his lips, snaking her arms around his neck.

“I could never be mad at someone as hot as you,” she mumbled against his lips, letting him deepen it quickly. He punished her with the kiss. An insistent, demanding kiss, his tongue probing hers with dominating force. She gasped and whimpered as she tried to maintain, but did not pull away.

Scott felt her legs clamp around his hips and he couldn't help grinding between her legs a bit. He wasn't completely hard, thanks to the alcohol, but if she kept rubbing against him, that would change.

“I want you so bad,” she whispered as he dipped to her neck. She nearly writhed under him, gasping his name. The graze of his stubble burned her skin, but his lips and tongue sent a fiery tingle through her. She moved against him, feeling desperate. 

“I've wanted to fuck you since the first time I laid eyes on you,” he admitted, looking down into her eyes.  He shouldn't take it there.  Making out was one thing.  But fucking her half hanging out of a rental car in a seedy parking lot was not exactly what he'd pictured. And definitely not having to get her drunk to do it. 

He had to catch her hands from pawing lower, much against his own wishes. He pinned her wrists on either side of her head,  but kissed her again before she could protest. He still moved along with the motion of her body,  swallowing up her whimpers with groans of pleasure of his own. 

Brinkley felt her body tingling, the heat emanated from between her legs.  She could feel his growing lump pressing into her and before she realized what was happening, she came,  moaning into his lips. Her body stiffened as she did.

Scott paused, looking down at her listless gaze. Her mouth parted slightly, she looked beautiful when she came, like she was surprised her body could elicit such a response. 

“Did you just,” he started, feeling her tremor a little beneath him. He couldn’t believe she had cum that easily for him.  He fought the urge to slip his fingers in her pants to feel just how wet she got.  

“Yeah,” she said breathlessly,  feeling a sluggish embarrassment creeping in,  “I…I'm sorry,” she stammered.

“Don't be,” he fought with himself over moving forward. If he let himself just go,  it might be over quickly from just the heat of the moment. Looking down at her he couldn’t stop his hand from lowering to his belt.

Within a few moments, he felt her hands pushing on him, hard. He nearly toppled over as she scrambled out from underneath him and barely made it to the edge of the trunk before she threw up.

Brinkley coughed, sinking to her knees as she leaned her forehead against the tail light. She felt suddenly tired as she tried to recover. It wasn't any more pleasant on the way out as it was in. 

Scott sat on the edge of the backseat, running a hand over his head. What was he thinking with this girl?

“Glad to see you're not babysitting,” Curt said in jest, noticing her slumped against the rear quarter panel.

“I should be charging you by the hour for this,” he stood and walked behind Brinkley, grabbing her under her arms and lifting her into the backseat.  She was not long from passing out,  groaning as she was moved.

Brinkley tried to sit up, but decided against it as gravity fought her. She was hit by a sudden sleepiness and gave in to it.

Curt peered around the door to see her passed out, he glanced at Scott who was already walking around to the front passenger door. 

“These new kids just can't keep up,” He said. climbing in the driver’s seat. He probably shouldn’t have been driving, but he felt clear headed enough and the hotel was just around the corner. 

“Yeah, gonna take a while to get that one up to speed,” Scott tried to ignore the ache in the crotch of his jeans. It would only get worse unless he took care of it himself. He couldn’t help but think any self satisfaction would be disappointing. He tried not to feel guilty keeping what had happened from Curt.

“Did you guys make up at least,” Curt teased, seeing Scott turn into his inward sulking mood that he often did when embarrassed. 

“We’re straight,” He left it at that. But he couldn’t deny part of him was relieved that she didn’t in fact regret kissing him. 

Curt carried her to their room; Scott assisted but quickly left. Curt was curious as to what happened in the backseat, but the only other witness was passed out and would likely have a blurry memory of the events tomorrow at best. 

He resisted undressing her for bed. He didn’t need to make any poor decisions tonight either. 

---------------------------------------------------------

Brinkley woke with a pressure in her head that she was sure was from a literal vice screwed onto her skull. The room was dark but somehow too bright. She groaned as she sat up, feeling like she had been beaten and left for dead.

“Curt?” She called out, but regretted a second later, holding her temple.

He came out of the bathroom in just a towel, combing through his damp hair. 

“It’s about time you got up, lazy bones,” He chuckled at her pale, pitiful appearance, “Might want to start making your way to the toilet now.” He suggested.

“Why don’t you look like shit,” She found it incredibly unfair that she was the only one suffering.

“Well, I would recommend that as soon as possible you take those pills on the table,” He motioned to her bedside where a pile of pills sat, “It’s just tylenol. But a lot of it. It's gonna be the best option,” He knew from years of experience on the road what worked and what didn’t. There might have been something better in more of the narcotic line, but she had rejected those in the past. He couldn’t blame her.

“If anything goes in my mouth, I’m gonna throw up,” She rubbed her hand across her forehead.

“Anything?” Curt placed his hand on his towel as if he were going to remove it, laughing when he received only a middle finger in response.

She did make it to the bathroom and she did get the pills down as recommended, but was mortified when told next it was important to put food on top of it. She was not looking forward to that part. Slowly the night before was coming back to her.

“Did…did Scott bring me back?” She started to recall ‘walking’ out of the bar with him. She recalled she was still in the clothes from last night when she first woke. That brought some relief (with its own disappointment).

“He took you to the car, bent you over the hood and went at it. Rest of the guys ran a train on you.” Curt spun a tale.

Brinkley looked at him, unamused as they left the room.

“What, no sense of humor when you're hungover?” He nudged her and she groaned.

“No. Nothing good exists right now,” she whined as they walked into the diner next door. The smells that greeted her were not exactly welcome. 

“Well…you made out with him in the back of the car,” Curt said, acknowledging the group in the back at a large table.

“What-” she hissed, seeing Scott drinking coffee at the table. She remembered him talking to her.  She had a feeling in her gut that it was friendly. And with the way he was looking at her now, she doubted Curt was pulling her leg.

“Nah, just fucking with you,” Curt's teasing just left her more unsure.

They took two seats at the busy table. Brinkley drank the black coffee at Steve's suggestion, slowly. It seemed to help, but she paced herself.

The egg whites and toast Curt had ordered for her stared her down as if they were a threat.

“I'd eat pretty quick if you took the ‘road remedy’,” Kevin nodded towards her plate. She tried not to complain too much and picked up her fork. Scott didn't say anything, but he never took his eyes off of her.

She managed enough to placate Curt, leaning on her hand as she finished.

“Can't I just go back to bed?” She managed barely above a wine, “we have today off,” she followed up. It was met with stilted laughter.

“We don't have a show…but there's still work. We are doing a radio show this afternoon.  Gym time, usually go to a couple sites and let fans get photo ops, cop a few feels,” Curt slid an itinerary over to her.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuck,” she laid her head on the table, “Just for a little bit? It says 4pm…we can do the gym right before. I can get at least a couple hours,” she tried to convince Curt.

He looked at her as if mulling it over. 

“I don't know,  you might need some extra gym time,  the road is making you soft.” Curt went to pinch her ribs, but she slapped his hand away.

“No I'm not!” She hotly contested his remark, “Kevin, am I getting soft?” She stood and turned to either side. He sipped coffee but looked her over. 

“Nah, pretty hard little body,” he glanced at Scott to see if it would elicit a response. Scott looked at him immediately.

“See? And he doesn't even like me,” she countered smugly. 

“Well I'm headed out, so it's now.” Curt left money for his check on the table. 

“I'm not going until later,” Scott spoke up, “She can ride with us,” 

Brinkley looked up at Scott to Kevin and back to Scott. What a double edged sword that option was. She paused to think before speaking.

“I’m fine with that,” She looked back at Curt, “I’ll just meet you there,”

Curt looked at her for a moment before shrugging, “Doesn’t matter to me,” though he found himself a little irritated that she wouldn’t be in tow. He’d wanted to get some one on one workout time with her. 

“Thank. God.” She said standing, “I’m going back to bed. Please come get me before you leave. If I’m not down here, I’m in 417,” 

Curt stood as well, handing his keycard to Scott, “She’ll sleep through an earthquake.” 

Brinkley looked down at the keycard and then to Scott. At that moment, more of the previous night returned to her. Including him grinding on top of her.

----------------------

She lay in bed, but now of course, sleep eluded her. She was still exhausted, but she couldn’t stop replaying the reel of the night before, over and over. It had actually happened. The attraction went both ways. She felt some relief that she’d been able to explain to him that he’d misheard her. She wondered if she should revisit the subject now that her mind was a little more clear. 

She tried to close her eyes, but she couldn’t shut off her mind. She hoped a shower would help. She let the steaming water flow over her, taking advantage of her extended free time. She couldn’t keep from feeling flustered that she had cum with him like that. She wondered what had gone through his mind. Probably not a lot since immediately after she’d gotten sick. She was sure that was a mood killer. 

She grabbed a towel and dried herself, wrapping it around her chest as she walked back into the room. 

She was startled by a figure sitting on the edge of one bed, cursing out loud in surprise. 

“Dammit! What are you doing,” her hand flew to her chest as a spike of adrenaline coursed through her.

Scott stood looking at her in only a short, thin hotel towel. 

“I, uh…I thought you might have wanted me to come by,” He looked her up and down without shame for doing so. She was still somewhat wet from the shower, her dark, damp curls clinging to each shoulder, “You had the room to yourself, took a shot,” He exuded confidence now. 

Brinkley had half a mind to just drop her towel to see what he’d do next. She held it on her though, the knot weak. 

“What exactly are you getting at?” she walked around him, not taking her eyes off of him as she headed to her bag. 

“Well, now that you’re sober, I wouldn’t feel bad about finding out what the rest of you tastes like.” He took a couple steps toward her.

She felt as if the breath had been knocked from her chest and she braced herself against the table her bag laid on. She didn’t retreat as he took a couple more steps toward her. 

“Unless you want me to leave,” He followed up, making no move to do so. 

She shook her head slowly biting her lip, but struggling to speak. 

Scott felt an intense arousal spread through him. 

“And as long as you don’t think you’ll regret it,” He couldn’t help saying so, his pride still recovering from the damage. 

“I told you I didn’t regret anything with you. Maybe, just that we were interrupted.” She found her voice as her hand loosened on the towel.

“Would you have fucked me in the pool,” He said with a direct crassness that made Brinkley’s sex throb. 

She looked down, noticing a sizable lump below his belt. She nodded slowly as his hand lifted to the top edge of her towel. 

He yanked his hand away as several clicks came from the door and it opened. Scott was only able to take a half step back before Curt walked in. 

Curt could tell he had walked in on more than just a conversation. He looked between both of them, quickly noticing how little was covering his protege. 

“Gym was closed, didn't open until 2, grabbed another key from the front desk,” He held up the card, “What, uh, what exactly is going on in here?” 

“Just talking about the match tomorrow,” Scott lied through his teeth, “Brink here had a good idea for interference. Just working it out,”

She looked between both men and nodded in agreement with Scott’s lie. She knew Curt knew better though. They were not getting anything past him. 

“I see. And? What’d you come up with?” He walked in the room now, nonchalant.

“She needs to use her training. She said she could work in a drop toe hold and take a fallaway slam from me,” He said, obviously not the first time he’d thought about it. 

“I think she’s capable of that,” Curt crossed his arms looking at her.

She nodded after a moment, wetting her dry mouth the best she could.

“Yeah…I could. I’d want to practice first.” She looked at Scott. 

“Sure, there’s a couple of rings around town. Let me make some calls, we can probably use their gym, too.” Scott’s hands were on his hips, again left in frustration. He reluctantly walked away from her. 

“Yeah, just let us know, man,” Curt said, watching Scott leave. Once they were alone again, he looked back at Brinkley with a knowing but questioning look, “So…what did I walk in on. And I don’t believe his bullshit story-, even though it's a good idea,”

“I was in the shower. When I got out, he was just in here,” She shrugged, holding her towel up still.

Curt looked her up and down as well. It would be a shame not to take advantage of the situation before him. Just because Scott missed out didn’t mean he had to. He knew if he just waited though, she would likely initiate. 

“Did something happen last night that I don't know about?” He knew immediately from her sheepish expression that something happened in the car.

“Just…a kiss,” She shifted awkwardly, but looking at Curt in a tank top as his workout shorts was shifting her arousal to a new target. Her eyes must’ve said as much, as Curt smirked.

“That’s it?” he cocked an eyebrow.

“Then I got sick,” She shrugged.

“Well from the looks of it he was about to pounce on you,” He motioned toward the door, “Like he was about to eat you alive,”

“No…” She fibbed, “Just business,” She turned to her bag and picked out an outfit to wear to the gym. She tried to ignore the toy tucked in the corner. She could definitely use some alone time to sit on that for a while. 

As she turned back around, Curt stood directly in front of her. His sudden proximity startled her a bit, but her mood instantly changed as she was flooded with his scent. 

“Just business huh?” He placed his hands on his hips, looking down at the top of the towel, “So you mean to tell me, if I reach under that towel, that pussy isn’t going to be wet?”

“Well,” She gulped again, feeling odd about wanting another man just moments after nearly bedding another, “it might be now…,” “Can’t be from me,” He scoffed.

“I think you underestimate how you affect me,” She said, her lax grip allowing the towel to fall. She tried not to blush as his eyes looked her up and down. 

“Are you asking to use your pass?” He questioned, resisting the impulse to reach out and touch her, “Or are you just really hard up for Scott and trying to use me in place of him,”

“I don’t need to pretend it's anyone else with you,” She reached out and pulled him gently by the shirt towards her, “But if you want to use me, I don’t mind,” Her statement reminded him that he couldn’t be too upset without skirting hypocrisy being a married man. 

“I want you to wait, one more day,” He asked, chuckling at the pouty disappointment on her face. He let down his restraint and let his hands slide along her body, cupping a breast and twisting a nipple gently between his fingers, “At least for my dick, can you do that for me?” He continued to roam her body, looking down at her needy face.

“Yes, Daddy,” She sulked, “I can wait,”

“That’s my good girl,” He leaned down to kiss her, rough against her lips with his. He knelt in front of her, letting his lips slide down her skin. He parted her legs, propping one of them over his shoulder before letting his broad tongue lick up her pussy. Her sweetness was welcome and she was indeed plentifully wet. He flicked past her clit repeatedly, making her whimper with each pass. 

She threaded her fingers into his hair, her hips rolling along with the pace of his tongue. Looking down at his delicious lips exploring her sex evoked a surge of desire. She already felt the tingle of her orgasm building and she willed it forward. Her legs nearly buckled when he sunk two fingers in her primed entrance, working in time with his experienced mouth. 

“Fuck….Daddy…I’m gonna cum,” She groaned, her eyes locked on his actions. His response was to thrash his tongue over her, suckling on her sensitive clit and punishing her pussy with the strokes of his fingers. 

Brinkley covered her mouth with her own hand to keep from crying out in pleasure as she came, his oral assault continued. He wasn’t satisfied with one. Or with two. And the third he forced with such a demand that he did have to prop her up as her legs gave way. 

Her legs quivered even as Curt helped her lie down. Quickly, she found the sleep that had earlier eluded her. She slept well, waking up again feeling much more rested as Curt stirred her. 

“Scott found a ring,” He said softly, “Gotta go now though,” 

She nodded, yawning, grabbing the outfit she’d set out earlier. Meeting in the lobby, Scott and Kevin waited for them. Once at the car, she realized they would have an extra passenger. Kevin quickly took the front seat. Being the tallest, he felt entitled to it. As she got into the backseat, Scott slid in next to her. 

“Have a good nap, Brink?” He asked, taking a moment to look her up and down again.

“Um, yeah…I feel a lot better now,” She timidly responded, remembering how close Scott had been to ripping her towel off.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

She was not uncomfortable in the ring. She asked Curt to warm up with her, out of habit she was just more comfortable with him. She knew that would need to change if she ever wanted to have legitimate matches. But for today, she got her jitters out and tried to get into work mode as Scott stepped through the ropes, Kevin stepping over the top rope.

“Why do you do that?” She asked him, pulling up her elbow sleeves, “How does that not smash the goods? Everybody will still know you're tall if you step through like a normal person.”

Scott failed in his attempt to restrain a laugh, turning away from Kevin.

“It doesn't smash anything. I barely touch it,” he defended, looking back at the rope.

Brinkley looked at him skeptically, “I have eyes,” she reminded him, “ I can see,”

“Can we add a powerbomb to her schedule?” Kevin asked, not a fan of being called out. 

“She gets what she gets,” Curt shrugged, “Only way she'll learn to watch that mouth,” he warmed up his joints by circling his arms and pulling on the ropes. Brinkley mimicked him as everyone else stood outside on the edge of the apron.

“Funny that you think I'd ever stop being mouthy,” she quipped right before they locked up.  She let him take the lead, taking a few bumps and running some rope drills. Once she was warmed up, Curt tagged Scott in.  She reminded herself that this was work. Anything inside the ring was work and everything on the outside stayed there. 

Her nerves didn’t get to her as she practiced sliding under the bottom rope and safely tripping up Scott. She scrambled away, being caught by her ankle and Scott would drag her back to the middle. She placed a foot in his gut and he sold it, but grabbed her again as she tried to get away. He threw her into the ropes and caught her in a front body carry.

“Tuck your arms and try to fall on your side and roll to the back,” he coached her. “Kev will pull you out after that. Curt goes to check on you and I roll him up for a 2 count.”

She tried to stay relaxed as he held on to her, one arm under her shoulder,  the other between her thighs. She did her own part of helping hold herself up on him. She felt a tingle in her stomach as he fell backwards and hoisted her over his head. The bump didn't hurt, but it was hard. The ring mat made an awful smack.

The rest of the spot worked well, but she asked to practice it a few more times. Scott was more than willing, each pass was more and more natural. She still got that flutter in the stomach when she was thrown over his head, but there was something so thrilling about being manhandled.

Once she was satisfied, she and Kev headed towards the gym as Scott and Curt volunteered to wipe down the ring.

“You did a good job with that one,” Scott complimented as he started with the turnbuckles, “Considering she had very little ring experience at all. You'd never know it looking at her now.”

“Yeah,  training her wasn't really too hard. She would keep at something until it was perfect. She was pickier than I was. She probably ran a marathon trying to get her rope runs down. Kept getting tangled up in her own feet,” Curt laughed, remembering what would have made a fantastic blooper reel,”But she's got a lot of potential if they'll use her right,”

“Yeah…that's a big ‘if’,” Scott knew women didn't get many chances to not just be eye candy these days. Some were starting to blaze a trail, but it wouldn't be without its pushbacks, “She'll be okay if she just speaks up for herself,”

“Don't think that's going to be a problem for her,” Curt looked up a she told Kevin to ‘hold his fucking horses’ in the background, “Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you about,” Curt looked back over his shoulder, “our plan,”

“Kinda wondered if that was off the table,” Scott said, lowering his voice, “hadn't said anything about it for a while,”

“Nah, still on if you're still interested,” Curt said. He wasn't stupid, he knew Scott was more than interested. He knew there was no work talk going on in that room earlier.

“Yeah, man, sounds like a good time to me,” Scott said cooly, acting as if he could take or leave the opportunity. His inner voice betrayed that coolness. It continued to bring up every encounter, every touch, every longing glance from across the room.

“Was thinking about tomorrow night. After the show we only have to drive a couple hours. Would have plenty of time,  especially if we snuck out of the show early.” Curt had been working the plan out on his own, “gonna try and figure out where everyone else plans to go, then head somewhere different.”

“Sounds like a plan,  I think we go on second to last though. Steve and Bill have the main event.” Scott tried to remember tomorrow's card.

“That'll give us time to leave. I think it still works,” Curt looked back at her as she laughed at something the gym owner said.

“I'm there,” Scott confirmed. If anything at least that would be a guarantee. He could hangout tonight with the boys and drown all his thoughts until they ceased. At least for one night. 

#wrestling fan fic #wrestling fic #wrestling fanfiction #curt hennig #wcw #wwe #wrestling #fanfiction #pro wrestling #1999 #Scott hall #kevin nash #The Mentorship #wrestling smut #a bunch of other wrestlers from this time period

[blossomingbellflower]

Nothing's worse than moving for a job, only to realize it isn't for you. Well, I always hated this specific area but I thought that because it is a teaching hospital, it won't be too bad. But no. Not even off orientation and I already want to quit.

I don't feel supported or heard. I am being pushed to 'swim and drown'--which isn't my kind of learning style. My mental health has been getting worse and it has hardly been a month. These people are causing my depression to return in full force and worsen my anxiety, which was never an issue--at least never to this extent where I feel ill or cannot even enjoy my days off without feeling the need to cry.

They weren't transparent in the interview prior to accepting the job. I didn't know this unit would be this acute or heavy. I was told even if i transferred to another unit [which i cannot anyways unless I work for 6 months independently], I'd be forced to float. Like bitch what.

My mentor keeps calling me out on my time management and yes, it's partially my fault sometimes. However, they fail to realize it is also their fault they or some thing else disrupt my schedule, throwing me off.

Just getting an email from them sends my heart into overdrive and my anxiety out the roof. Sigh.

As for the people themselves, they are so gossipy.

The reason I haven't really been here is because I've been struggling to survive tbh. And the job market where I moved to is so damn small. I'm trying hard to find another job so I can just leave this one..but alas right now, I'm stuck and it sucks so damn much.

So yeah life is a shit show rn--and also whenever I find reliable dog sitters, they always leave so :')

#||broken quiver: ooc|| #[been super depressed and anxious--which is just getting worse but can't afford to quit yet which has me frustrated]

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi S! I recently found you guys' podcast and I'm enjoying it so much on my commute! I was rewatching the show recently and is it just me or did they not tie up the 10 din track at all? Like when khushi went home to bua-ji's and was basically just waiting for the dissolution of the contract marriage. It seems like they just came back to shantivan and then the dadi track started. Are we just meant to understand that khushi was being stubborn and when arnav said I love you damnit she decided to stay with him after all?

Hi!

Those days were very inconsistently written. The whole issue is that this is a non-consensual marriage which actually has no validity in law (as coercive marriages are technically illegal - although it happens a lot) and even religiously invalid (which is funny considering how many forced marriages do exist).

The whole issues is that it being coercive makes it invalid and the show chose to do anything except address that the marriage didn't have Khushi's consent cause that's a very very grey area (and also state that ek chutki sindoor honestly doesn't have the power of religious validity).

The 10 days track was literally scrapped out. It was the only thing addressing the very problematic circumstance around the marriage and Khushi's very rightful anger and Arnav's very in character cockiness. It would've been a perfect loop. Arnav forced the end day of the marriage. Khushi would end the farce. Just give some agency back to the female lead.

Khushi wasn't being stubborn - she was written as an idiot in the janmasthami episodes but look at this - she knows her marriage is over, she is now living with him under religious validity because Arnav lied to her that their marriage is worthless after six months (she and the audience has no idea that contract marriages don't technically exist rather they can be annulled at 6 months if the marriage hasn't been consummated or other factors, divorces can be filed only after one year of the marriage barring exceptional circumstances).

So she's now living with him, knowing the sindoor and mangalsutra makes then a couple and then she learns that even the religious wedding is invalid so she's into panic mode thinking she's not at all married to Arnav.

And knowing his volatile temper and lack of belief in marriage itself - he could easily throw her out of the house and she has no marriage immunity to give her a house because her family would want her to return to her "husband" and she doesn't have one.

Yeah, this is all terribly patriarchal.

And when he wants to consummate Khushi is extremely confused and panicking cause she isn't sure what she is to Arnav (he goes from I can't live without you, kissing her forehead to literally you're the biggest mistake of my life and I wish I never met you in a span of a day) and of course she's still very very hurt. So when he confesses that he does love her, it puts a lot of her worries to rest. She has no more questions and is actually pretty stunned. She's happy.

If Arnav wants her, loves her, loves her enough to accept it - then that's the biggest validity. Nothing else can threaten her relationship with him because when he wants something, he ensures it's his forever.

And in this case he wants and loves Khushi. That's the best guarantee that she'll be with him forever.

There's such terrible writing and overnight scrapping of plot points here though that it's tough to understand what's quite happening. Although the beginning of this track served so well. The angsty dialogues, her snapping that this is just a contract marriage (tbh I'd much rather take him yelling he loves her when she just calls this a contract that's over than the whatever saat-phere thing).

It's kind like they went the least desirable way to execute a really good track. It had everything - comedy, romance and angst. I think they really wanted to unite ArShi at that point cause fans were frustrated but I believe we would've been open to argument escalating to him declaring he loves her - she coming back home after that with the brief peace of perhaps things getting better, some more romance now that they both know things are better and both are in love - and then Dadi coming in with Shyam's info that Khushi isn't as much of a wife as she thinks she is.

Best,

S

#ipkknd #ask #the dadi track #the ten days track #the perfect resolution was right there #just like right there #thenocturnallife-waster-blog

[fullmoondagger]

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY LATEST ART BLOCK ABOUT CREATIVITY AND EXISTING AS AN ARTIST:

Hi so Hi I'm Fullmoon and I'm a digital artist and a writer (@fullmoondaggers-art​) and from last november/december to april/may I have been in a mortifying creative block that was AGONIZING to say the least. My art's back now although it's at a very small pace but . I'm free ! (or back into my cage?)

I'm making this post mostly for myself but also to share this experience with others because that may be interesting or helpful? Please do take everything uder the cut with a grain of salt I’m merely a creature spilling thoughts about my own experiences and ideas . Love and Light

Some people may scoff at me because 6/7 months of art block may be nothing to them but it was a LOT for me- I never had such a long period of no art juice and it was very disorienting and horrifying.

For as long as I've been able to hold a pen and had to survive through the torture that is school, I've been drawing. All day long, everyday. Doodles on the edges of my notebooks, on scraps of paper when teachers took away my notebooks, and on my arms when the teachers took away my scraps of paper. I drew my little characters, then my little ponies, and I will forever look back at how terrifyingly productive I was in 2016. How did I manage to put out a fully lined and colored drawing almost every day after school ? While gay?

Jokes asides I've always drawn, and fast. Everyone seems impressed with how fast I draw, myself included.

(WHAT do you mean you drew this in 8 hours? wtf Luke)

And I used to draw all the time. When I wasn't playing games or watching shows, I was drawing.

And all of the sudden, it stopped. Creativity juices stopped flowing. Might have been caused by some personal events, and me stepping out of a fandom to other interests that is feeding me less in terms of nooks in which my art fungus can grow (the BATIM fandom rules. Genuinely. Legacy of Kain also has so much to offer), but either way, I was entering a very uncreative moment in my journey as an artist.

It hit hard !

I was getting anxious about opening SAI. I was getting anxious at plugging my tablet in my laptop. I could NOT do anything creative. Even when I got short spurs of ideas I would just give up and close the program, because it wasn't worth it anyways, no one would care, no one would want what I had to give, because my art didn't look professional or didn't stand out as much as it should. I was very deep set in the idea that uploadable art was fully lined and colored, colored sketches could be acceptable under some strict criteria. Let's not even talk about fic, I'm still very much a beginner, and the topics I like to write about aren't very elevated anyways.

1- THE ART OF TRICKERY

Brains are mischievous little machines, but once you understand that you're above it, it's nothing but a roach under your heel. I had to redirect my creative drive to something else than art and writing, so I tried my hand at HTML, a tiny pathetic bit of 3D modeling, painting patches for my jacket etc.

SAI and Tablet were making me anxious? Well, What about mouse and MS Paint? Why not try Adobe Flash ? Pencils and watercolor makes you shit? Ballpen and scrap paper. Grow up. This cool artist uses Paint 3D to work, why not give it a shot? Try some new ways of sketching, new fun art styles to mess with.

(Animated on Adobe Flash as a little test, I had a lot of fun !)

It was baby steps towards some recovery, and it did help ! It took me a while, but I was finally able to open SAI and draw and ENJOY it.

2- THE ART OF SEEING YOURSELF

What do I create for?

I draw for myself, for my horny little ideas, my cool character designs, to get out some funny things that are inside my head, to put my favorite characters in situations, to make them look hot as shit. I draw for other people too, sharing is important and vital as a fandom artist on the Internet. I want my art to be seen and enjoyed by other people who also enjoy what I'm creating about. I make to share, I don't want most of my art to be seen by only myself. I don't draw for fame, although being mildly known in my tiny little niche communities would be nice! It's not something that I cling to too tightly.

What is my artist identity ?

Early 2000's cartoons, 90's Anime, 2010's Internet, Art Nouveau, 1930's cartoons, Symbolism, Medieval art, BDSM/Kink, some French Comics, throw it all in a blender, and you get a blurry image of me.

Things are a bit difficult here. I don't feel like I have an "art style". I love to try new things, new techniques, new shapes. My art pieces rarely resemble each other, which is something I'm very self conscious about and I'm learning to accept. The thing is, every other artist around me has that Thing that makes their work so recognisable, and I don't feel like my art has that "Oh, that's Fullmoon" spark. At first I thought something was wrong with me, but I think it's really only a matter of perspective, I don't see it because I don't have the step back from my work to do that.

I wish I knew what makes me unique as an artist, but also I don't think it matters that much.

3- THE ART OF NOT GIVING A SHIT

(Little edit I smashed together somewhere near the peak of my art block, just because I wanted to see Applejack and Arthur Morgan hanging out. I think they’d be besties)

Art block taught me to Let Go. I couldn't draw anymore, and I felt like I was free from something that had been cursing me for so long but also completely lost without my shackles. I didn't really have an outlet for my Needs to fidget and make things and share them, and I was feeling like I would never be back to where I used to be in art. But also I knew it was cyclical, just like everything else in life is, and everything would fall back in place in due time. Sometimes you need to not give a shit if something turns out ugly or unperfect or never gets finished ever. keep them tucked in a corner and pull them out when you feel like you could have a better shot at them. It's OK to give up ! If you don't feel it's right, if you're not enjoying the process, just Let Go. If you're enjoying it regardless, just keep on going, the beauty of creation is that it's about fun and discovery. Nothing is eternal, and projects come back from the dead.

(Original idea from my art block VS when I picked it back up when i got my power back, lineart done on Adobe Flash because SAI was still too intimidating to me, and also lining on Flash is FUN)

4- WHAT DID THIS BRING ME

I think I have a very different approach to making art now. I don't draw every day, but It doesn't weigh on me that much anymore, as it should. I make things for fun, I don't want to aim for a masterpiece every time I pick up my tablet and turn the music playlist up. I draw whatever I want to, because I'm in impossibly niche communities anyway, so whoever will see it will see it, and I love them for that. I'm able to let things sit for a while and pick them back up later, which is VERY HARD for me in general. Maintaining a brand is bullshit and will kill you.

I’ve been writing again as well, and while I don’t think it’s too important, it’s fun !!

I have fun making things and learning things, and I have discovered new things I probably wouldn’t have gotten otherwise;

- I can roughly animate on Flash !

- I have a website I wrote myself !

- Painting on fabric is very fun actually !

- So much anime and manga. God

- I can sit back and feel Okay about not being an art machine !

I say that as a horrid little hater, but I think it's so important as an artist to cherish and adore everything you make. Give passion to the world and it will give it back to you in other ways. Play Soul Reaver

#dagger.txt #ok to reblog I guess #very messy but its just raw thoughts

[deathchamber6172]

Running Up That Hill.

This story will be part of a series. The timeline is placed in Halo Infinite with the AU of Noble being revived. I hope you guys enjoy this parts.

Halo Reach/Infinite belongs to 343 Industries.

My spartan oc (Avery) belongs to me.

Repost with credit.

Part One.

12. Running up that Hill.

Apparently, being dead still doesn’t give you a day off. It was still hard to wrap her brain around it; somehow ONI created a tech that brought the deceased to living and brought her back. Something about powerful wills or what not. She was pretty sure she fell asleep during the lecture. She just wanted a vacation.

For 6 months, she filled in the missing role of Master Chief- that didn’t sound right. They quickly put her to use, because she was the only hyper-lethal left. She had been hunting for 3 days and right now; she wished she was anywhere else but here. The forest had so many bushes and branches that whipped her in the face that she almost sliced them away with her plasma sword. Fret told her no.

They needed to be nice to nature, even if it was annoying. Avery slapped another branch away from her, only for it to come back and slap her right back. It did nothing against her spartan armor, but for the irritating flick it did to her visor. Fret reminded her again that nature was not to be destroyed. At least he was safe in her suit, away from all the bugs and mud.

“Excuse me, did I say to volunteer for this?” She assumed if he could, Fret would give her an eye roll. “Nope. I did not. Uh-huh, I don’t like solo work.”

“Not exactly solo if I have you.” Avery paused at a puddle and moved around it. “My little AI buddy.”

“Flattery won’t work on me.”

She bit back a smile. It was odd getting an AI. Considering everything that happened after her death; she assumed they would lock AIs down. In the beginning, she wanted to hate AIs and get frustrated at Chief’s decision on trying to save Cortana. Noble team died for that AI, only for her to betray everyone at the end. That was, until she got paired with Fret.

“I might just grapple across the abyss. It would be faster.”

Fret gulped at the memory. “Absolutely not! I would like to live. Thank you very much.”

“Which is why we’re taking the trail. This is sneakier.”

“Good- I’ve got lifeforms up ahead.” Avery jerked her head up, trying to peer past the branches, hand going to her hip. “They’re friendly…? Spartan- it’s a spartan signal. Why would Spartans be up here? This area is in a restricted zone.”

“Rogue or just breaking the rules.” She started forward again, eyes narrowing. “You got anything else?”

“I, wait! I’m getting something. A signal is being sent out, the ID is 320 from Spartan III Beta,” her heart stopped in her chest, “uh, Catherine. Noble Two… oh, oh no.” Fret erased it away from her visor. “I… it’s- it couldn’t be her.”

Avery hated how hope still curled around her heart, or how badly she wanted to see Kat again. It would not happen. ONI told her and Jun the same thing. They couldn’t bring back the other members of Noble. They didn’t have enough resources or time. She was trying to accept it, move past it. It was hard to move on if she kept on getting slapped with Noble related things.

It had to be some rookie doing a badly thought out prank. Yeah, that’s the reason there is Noble Two standing in a clearing, right by a… Avery stilled, curling up her fist. Noble Two stood right by a waterfall; they updated the armor like hers, so it had to be someone else, even if their right arm was a prosthetic. This was a prank.

She ignored Fret’s protest on remaining hidden and marched out of the forest. “Hey rookie, why the hell are you all the way over here?” The spartan jumped at her yell, visor meeting visor. “Well?” She drummed her fingers against her arm. “I’m waiting for a good excuse.”

“... excuse?” The spartan echoed.

It had to be a prank; it had to. They even got the voice right. Avery let out a scoff, a swirl of anger and wishing filling her chest. “Look, I get it, okay? The armor makes you feel strong, but doing all of this?” She gestured around her. “It’s not a funny joke. Noble Two was a real person, and this is just mocking her.”

“I am Noble Two… and was?” Noble Two took off her helmet and Avery didn’t know whether to yank her into a hug or throw up. “I’m clearly alive, so I don’t appreciate you acting like I am dead.” Kat tilted her head, eyes narrowing. “Do I know you?”

“You… you don’t know me?”

“Should I?”

Her heart dropped. Though she made her choice, the vile rose her throat, and she ran back into the forest, tearing off her helmet. She didn’t know what was happening, or why Kat was here. She was dead. ONI said it wasn’t possible- or it would’ve been one of their multiple lies.

Avery pressed her hand to her mouth, willing for the vile to go back down. She had more things to worry about at the moment.

#halo reach #halo infinite #halo mcc #halo master chief collection #noble six #noble two #kat b320 #spartan b312 #fret #spartan oc #short story #running up that hill