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#you won't get scurvy
princessnijireiki · 1 year
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anyway our CNS & brains are pretty complex, like we've barely figured out getting people with partial spinal cord damage back driving their own bodies + when we do it's still a roll of the dice & the processes are not all well understood... encephalitis can caused locked-in-ness like with sleeping sicknesses, akinetic mutism, etc where the body itself is not physically incapable of movement & action, but nothing is out there that jumps in and takes over from a driver who's paralyzed or asleep at the wheel... that's not actually a thing, it's fun speculative fiction but not representative of reality— so really, no worries lol
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arctic-hands · 1 year
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Is eating only applesauce a perhaps overly sweet and not very nutrient-dense meal? Yes. Is it better than not eating anything, which was my original plan for the day until I could run to the grocery store after running around town? Also yes
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twstfanblog · 6 months
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Savanaclaw Random Headcanons
Ruggie's grandma actually warned him to not get involved with Leona before he went to NRC. Dealing with royals as a poor folk rarely ends well. He was grounded when he came back on winter break to tell her he was basically his errand boy.
Jack is confused constantly as an upperclassmen. Other first years ask him questions and he just goes 'How would I know that?'
Now he's known as a mean senpai to a few first years.
Ruggie actually made an insane amount of money in his first year by doing cooking challenges. People would bring him things they think couldnt possibly be made into a meal. And Ruggie would prove them wrong and get a free meal and 50 madol.
Leona tried to trip him up by just giving him a knife to cook.
Ruggie just sold the knife and bought some canned soup.
Jack actually ties down his ears sometimes. Just so his emotions aren't being on display 24/7. His tail is a lost cause.
Leona can and will fall asleep in under a minute. Its not a heavy sleep and he can still follow conversations. He does it during dorm meetings mostly.
If everyone thinks he's trying to sleep, the other savanaclaw memebers won't get into so many shouting matches.
Jack is the only one who can handle smelling salt in close range. Never use them on him. But he can at least hold them.
Ruggie has bitten into a rock before and left marks.
Leona sleeps with his hair in a loose bun to act as a pillow.
After his overblot, Leona makes it a habit to have more dorm centered activities to show he cares.
The dorm favorite is the pool party/ BBQs
Ruggie can tell the price of anything you bring him. Only with an error of a penny or two off normally.
Jack has used Epel as a weight before and didnt have the heart to tell him he weighed next to nothing.
It's a dorm rule to eat at least one piece of fruit a day. (To avoid scurvy since all of them would rather just eat meat all the time)
Leona has found Ruggie passed put more than once. He always takes him back to the dorm, and Ruggie will wake up in Leona's room, thinking he fell asleep cleaning his room.
Leona makes a just barely there effort to be nice to Jack since he looks up to him so much.
It's the most basic thing, but it's enough to turn heads of people who know Leona.
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propertyofkylar · 4 months
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Normally I send Whitney asks (probably will send one later) but I need to give my baby Kylar some love. Poor thing needs a good home cooked meal, he needs fruits too bc he has scurvy from his awful diet.
every time you say kylar has scurvy it makes me CACKLE it's so fucking funny. because it's so true.
but you're right giving kylar a homecooked meal needs to be more than just the headcanons i wrote before it deserves a full fic so let's fucking GOOOO
m!kylar x gn!pc, no cws just wholesome, tooth-rotting fluff ^_^
"Sit down and be patient, Kylar."
Your boyfriend sulked, but sat down in the kitchen chair anyway. You paid no mind to the fact that he pulled the chair directly next to where you were standing.
"S-sorry," he mumbled. "It just smells so good!"
You rolled your eyes affectionately and placed a hand on his cheek. He immediately beamed and leaned into your touch.
Ever since you had started spending more time at Kylar's manor, the amount you worried about him had only increased. The boy was almost always alone, staring at his six computer screens and only ever seemed to be eating instant ramen or fried food he bought on the way home from school. It was a miracle he hadn't suffered some severe nutritional deficit yet - though while you were certainly no doctor, you were pretty sure he was anemic.
So you had promised him you would make him a homemade dinner, and he had reacted as you had anticipated: by crying and thanking you repeatedly.
Now, here you were, cooking in Kylar's kitchen. It was pretty fun, honestly. Not only did you get to spend more time with Kylar, you got to do something you rarely got to do in the orphanage. Here, there was no Bailey to yell at you.
You had opted to make Kylar a katsu curry. Something simple that you were sure he would like, and something you could pack with veggies to make sure he got plenty of vitamins. Of course, you were pretty sure Kylar would have eaten anything if you were the one making it. But you figured you couldn't go wrong by appealing to his love of Japanese things.
"Do you want a taste?" You asked, dipping a spoon into the pot. Kylar eagerly nodded and jumped up. You guided the spoon to his mouth and he happily took it, grinning widely at you.
"It's good!" He said. "I knew my love would be a fabulous cook!"
You smiled at his over-exaggeration. "Okay, go grab a plate. It's ready."
He did as he was told - grabbing an extra plate for you as well - and you served up the dinner.
The two of you took a seat at the table, but the way Kylar was practically bouncing in his chair made you stop before you could begin eating.
"What's going on?" You gestured over to him. His excitement was palpable.
"My love made me dinner! We're eating it together! It's like we're already married..." Kylar sighed dreamily, gazing down at the plate.
You shook your head, but you were smiling, too. "Come on. You gotta eat before it gets cold, or you won't get any dessert," you teased.
He nodded seriously and starting digging in, a little too enthusiastically. "It's so good!" He choked out between bites.
"Kylar!" He paused and looked up at you. "Slow down. I don't want you to choke."
Kylar nodded again, making sure to slow down. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "It really is that good..."
You took a bite of your own, pleasantly surprised at the taste. "Huh. I guess you're right."
"Thank you," Kylar said, staring at you lovingly. "My love is so good to me!"
"Then I'll keep cooking for you. God only knows what vitamin deficiencies you have. You probably have scurvy," you joked. But what Kylar had said before was ringing in your mind. Being married to Kylar...it might be pretty nice, actually. You had never been able to think about a real future, one where you weren't trapped under Bailey's thumb. Maybe one day you would be able to actually live here with Kylar and you could cook for him every night without worrying about where your next payment was going to come from.
Kylar noticed you zoning out. "What are you thinking about?" He asked curiously.
"How much I love you," you replied, and were pleased at how his face instantly flushed bright red. It made you laugh. "But really, I'm glad you like my food. I had a lot of fun making it and getting to spend time with you."
Kylar smiled, but seemed flustered still. "T-then...I'll be in charge of dessert..." his hand came to rest on your thigh and started to move up.
"Let's finish eating first," you said, and Kylar drew his hand back, looking disappointed.
"R-right..." he mumbled, going back to his plate.
You laughed again and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. "I'm looking forward to it."
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a-whumped-tea · 11 months
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Vampire pirate who feeds on their human crew.
Maybe their crew didn't have a choice about joining them.
Perhaps when the pirates capture a ship the captain samples each of the captured sailors. The ones who taste good are added to their crew and the rest are slaughtered. Or maybe they're sold off at the nearest port.
Of course, this vampirate makes sure their crew is well-fed and taken care of. They can't have scurvy or other illnesses and ailments ruining their collection of hard-working blood bags.
However, keeping people alive doesn't mean they can't or won't get hurt for acting out. You can't have your crew plotting to kill you after they start to think you're getting weak and soft, now can you?
Who would a vampire such as this entrust to be their first mate? Who could this vampire trust to watch over their crew during the day while they sleep?
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bougiebutchbitch · 3 months
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Happy Izzy Headcanon: Roach's love language is food, right? So when he wants to cheer Iz up, he brings him new things to try. Izzy is at first like "I am not hungry fuck off", but then at some point he tries it and loves it... cause I don't think he ever actually let himself enjoy food and not eat cause he has to?
AHHHHHHHHH OKAY I LOVE THIS??? I 100% share the headcanon that Izzy eats because he has to, not because he particularly enjoys it - he grew up dirt poor and scampering between ships like a rat; he'll eat what's available and he won't complain. He doesn't have a fucking palette, thank you very much. Hell, Roach has seen him eat weevils out of hardtack for 'extra protein' and just - NOPE. not on his watch!
So he makes it his mission to find food that Izzy will genuinely enjoy, and scrutinises his face for clues as to whether he's liking it.
Izzy, of course, is like. Wtf why are you staring. Is this poisoned??? Did you poison this??????
He gets so twitchy that he won't eat unless Roach eats first - which somehow devolves into Roach sharing his lunches with Izzy under the guise of 'getting him to sample new food for the captains' (because Izzy needs an excuse to let himself have nice things, otherwise it's right back to the hardtack, shitty coffee, and the occasional orange to ward off scurvy).
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raid3r-r4bbit · 7 months
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I cant tag you for some reason @acesatyr but I have typed all this up. I will get to fishing and foraging at some point, But this was already really long, lol.
I had originally written this in another word doc and realized I had typed over six paragraphs about seeds and germination alone. I really like farming.
Overall, this is mostly the generic info; I can detail or explain anything in depth, but I’m summarizing the important stuff, and the details are easily researchable. :)
A Revised and Bullet-Pointed Essay about Organic Apocalyptic Farming
Seeds, the basics:
-Stock up on seeds, they come in packets and are usually cheap depending on where you get them from. I like to store seeds in a mason jar, with a tightly sealed lid. It’s important they’re dry, and if possible, refrigerated. if not, any cold, dark, dry place will do.
-Germination is an easy process, DAMP (not sopping wet. DAMP) peice of thin cloth or paper towel, seeds laid out evenly, and put into either a ziplock baggie or something like a pyrex container. Again, air tight, low-mid light, warm (not hot, not direct sunlight) enviroment.
-if you see a lil mold it’s okay, as long as the root sprouts they’re still viable.
Plants I would Reccomend:
-Peppers are great because they grow quickly, can be canned or stuffed and add a lot to you meals and food. They also don't really take up as much room as some of the other plants i'm about to list. They aren’t the most filling and you cant live off of them but if you want to improve your quality of life or make a lot of money at the end of the world I guarantee you anyone who can actually cook or has the spices and foods to do it is set for life. I would legitimately kill a man for my mom’s pepperoni stuffed pickled peppers. I stabbed my brother over a jar once I am not kidding.
-Pretty much any kind of spice or herb really, I would HIGHLY recommend growing lavender, mint, thyme, and anything lemony or citrus scented, as I mentioned on a previous post, they’re good for pest control. lavender is a very temperamental plant, but most herbs, once ou get them going can be pretty hardy for lil leafs. Also, depending on the amount you’re growing of each most of them don’t take up too much space. Also basil cause it smells nice and I told you to.
-Corn, wheat, and any kind of grain is obviously a good idea if you want bread, but all of them are pretty difficult and require a lot of space. Potatoes are great because they can be used to make bread and alcohol as well.
-Zucchini, eggplants, tomatoes, and summer squash, and pretty much any gourd/melon/squash plant are easy to grow, but keep in mind many of these are expanding and/or vine plants and require a lot of space. They make a lot of food, but tomatoes and cucumbers in particular will actively choke other plants. Like vines wrapping around and leaves growing over top and roots entangling level of choking. Keep apart. but they’re good for you. eggplant, tomato and cucumeber are the highlight here.
-For leafy greens kale and chard are super easy to grow and grow pretty fast. Like any leafy green, too much sunlight will scorch them so be careful. I like to grow chard in an old (was some kinda biohazard barrel my dad stole from some pharmaceutical company, and cleaned out) cause it’s more than deep enough for the roots, but also wide enough to grow plenty. Also kale is high in vit c so if you don't live somewhere tropical you won't die of scurvy :)
-If you plan on raising animals or having a crop FIELD and not a PLOT, then grow long grass into hay, because it is good feed, but can also be used to cover ground to protect from birds. If you sow seeds by yeeting them into the dirt, birds will eat them if you don't cover them and you will die hungry.
-If possible, Alfalfa is also good for animals ( in small quantities) because they like it, or sunflowers. you can eat sunflowers, they produce a lot of seeds adn the seeds can be used as feed. ( same with corn.)
-Mushrooms. can be dried, easy to grow, grow really fast, and can be used as filler for meat dishes. (you can also grow the drug kind because it’s the end of the world and no one is going to stop you)
-tobacco for tabacco
AMNIMALS:
-unless you have a lot of very protected land you’re going to want animals that are small and potentially multipurpose.
-chickens are great because they dont need an exorbitant amount of space, can be used for eggs and meat, their feathers can be used for a number of things, if you dont like eating chicken guts (whats wrong with you) then they can be used as fertilizer, bait or as part of stock, and the bones can also be used for broth or to make small simple tools like needles or pen nibs. However, they actually need a more varied diet then you’d think. if you dont have calcium powder, their own unfertilized crushed up eggs, or scrambled with the shell is good for them once in a while, or chopped up leaves from your plants. Otherwise, a mix of corn and seeds is pretty good. DO NOT feed chickens wheat, oats or bread. Once in a while maybe, as like a super special treat, but too much can be harmful. Also, they eat bugs so they can just be outside if you’re okay with that.
-Goats produce milk, fur/wool (not all breeds do both, most don't do both, actually) and they’re more portable than cows. they also take up less space. A big downside is that goats are not only social animals, but they also need a good bit of stimulation and activity and they can be pretty noisy. My uncle built a jungle gym pyramid for his goats, but be warned, Joe Bob chewed his way out of the barn and needed rescuing from the top of the tower in the middle of a hurricane once. Goats will pretty much eat anything, and their poop is good for compost, Joe Bob and his siblings pretty much live off scraps and they’re happy lil dudes ( ladies actually, Joe Bob is the only boy)
-Rabbits! (the rabbit in raider rabbit is actually because i used to raise rabbits and am fond of them as a farm animal and because nobody can pronouce my name so they just call me Bun but we dont talk about that) probably one of the quietest animals you can keep on a farm, they can be kept in cages, breed quickly, can be used for fur, leather (rabbit and goat leather is great for making paper and cloth, not really good for protective leather) meat, and bones. The biggest issue I can see in the event of a wasteland survival situation is rabbits need a lot of clean water, salt and if you get angouras they pretty much need constant brushing. Be warned, if you dont know how to properly care for and breed them the females will castrate the males or eat her babies :) it is just a traumatizing as it sounds :) I speak from experience :) A good and cheap meat rabbit is the california white rabbit, they're about small to med size, and really simple to look after. Angouras are not great for meat, but their fur makes amazing wool. They eat veggies ( not carrots, too much sugar) oats, hay, their babies, and other leafy greens.
-Quail are something im not super familiar with that was my sibling’s thing, but from what i understand they need less space then chickens, and they’re good meat birds. eggs can be good for feeding other animals, but they’re not really good for much else. Also they’re really fucking loud and will fight each other so maybe not?
-Ducks are a lot like chickens, again, all of them can be eaten or used, and also eggs. eat more leafy greens and stuff and really like having somewhere to swim, better for more open environments. Ducks like to eat a lot and will get really fat really quick ( not a good thing) so be careful. however, if they imprint on you, they will follow you everywhere which makes rounding them up easy.
-Fish are great because their water can be cycled and the yuck water can go to the plants, which is great cause all that fish poop and algae is really good fertilizer. Fish are good for you and I love them. An while they’re not easy to port around, if you feed them micro worms or lil shrimps you can grow their food mostly indefinity and freeze it even. Also ive never heard any fish ( other than that one pufferfish) make noise. keep in mind, you will still have to maintain the water levels and the ph and all that, and they can take up a lot of space.
WHAT METHOD? HOW DO THE FARM? OTHER?
-this is pretty much up to you, I’m a really big fan of hydroponics, but i typically stick to “recycle farming” which is basically using whatever I have on hand and getting creative.
-if you’re going to use a plot of land, its a good idea to make sure you have a fence that goes around, over and under. Pests like groundhogs, rabbits, deer, ghouls, and myself will do more then just walk up and take you plants and animals.
-I recommend quiet animals that can be stored in cages and indoors to avoid larger predators, but any animals will attract them. Bears will break into pens, so if possible either store them INSIDE INSIDE, (like concrete building) or outside in a pen so you dont die.
-Living in the wasteland, or growing up with parents that think it basically is will teach you to utilize anything and everything. bottles and cans are great pots, old trashcans can be used if your dad wont steal chemical barrels from your local pharm plant for you, tires can be shredded into mulch, old rebar is my favorite thing for climbing plants ( sturdy, easy to stick into the ground and remove, pretty source able) Animal parts can be used for fishing bait or fertilizer, corn husks and other dry leaf litter can make good ground cover is hay isn't an option, ect.
-Plastic sheets and table cloths with holes cut in them for the plants are great for vine plants to grow through.
-scarecrows ain’t shit. Most birds are too stupid to notice and the ones that will are smart enough to figure out it’s not real pretty quick so all you’re doing is wasting good clothes and materials and scaring the shit out of yourself when you forget and look out the window and see a giant man in your field. Get a cat.
-it’s the apocalypse. grow weed.
How source plant food?
-poop and leafy plant scraps. animal poop, your own poop, your neighbors poop, poop. plant scraps, leafy greens, peels, rotten material.
-Get a big plastic tub or my favorite stolen barrels and shovel in some dead soil, layer in some plant scrap, dry leaf litter or corn husks, poop, leaf litter, and add creepy crawlies if you can. give a stir or shake every so often.
-avoid flies. as gross as it is, it’s a good idea to keep it warm, moist and humid, so very closed to avoid them.
-you can also add egg shells to give some calcium to your bug buddies.
-corpses.
What do I keep? how do I use it? (animals)
-egg shells are useful for a number of things, dried and nicely crushed they can be used for calcium for other animals. Or protection spells.
-bones for the same thing just don't feed the animals to themselves. I joked about this with the rabbits a bit ( a little cannibalism with them is inevitable and wont hurt them, but still) but cannibalism can lead to a lot of really bad neurological conditions that can harm you as well if you consume their products. Same with chickens, you feeding them scrambled eggs and shells once in a while is good for them, but if they start consistently eating their eggs you need to seperate them for a bit.
-fur and skin are great, esp for tanning, hides can make all kinds of things from paper, to water pouches and other bags, and fabric in general. being able to make cloth and leather is something a lot of people really overlook.
-Bones but for tools. Having a good needle and thread is really underestimated.
-Intestines can be used to make sausage, and other things.
-i will eat the chicken liver if you don't want it but it’s your anemia.
-make jerky/salted meat. both wont last forever, but you dont need to freeze it if you dont have power and will last longer then raw or cooked meat. salt cured meat lasts about 2-3 weeks, so if you’re solo or a small group and you did what i said and got small animals you wont be wasting food, and you dont have to butcher something every day.
-jerky can last a lil longer if stored properly, say it with me now! *air tight containers* you might get a solid month or so out of jerky, and it can mostly be rehydrated, or eaten as is.
-rendered animal fat or tallow makes good cooking oil, and while a little time consuming is not super difficult.
-make butter and cheese, not for survival, but quality of life.
Help I grew to many plants!
-can them, dumbass.
-fr though, canned foods can last a decent amount of time and can be really useful if you live somewhere with a winter, or can farm constantly. I mentioned already, but canned stuffed peppers are a favorite of mine, along with pickled eggs, which I make pretty regularly because a world without pickled eggs is the darkest thing i can imagine.
-feed them to your animals or back to your plants.
-throw them at your friends. (you haven't lived until you’ve hocked a rotten pumpkin at your little brother)
-dry them, fruit leather and veggie chips can be rehydrated and stored even longer than certain canned or preserved foods.
What else?
-learn how to purify water. there’s a million non tech versions, but in a sinch, the boil method is good if you just need to water plants. just dont pour boiling water on your crop.
-do use boiling water for weeds though. you can also feed weeds to your animals, but boiling water is just water, it’s not going to kill the soil or poison you.
-learn to fish and forage, theres a whole lot of things that aren't easy to grow or raise that can be tasty and good for you.
-learn to make fire. be prepared to put out fire. Dry crops will burn for days, so keep them watered, but you need to be able to burn exccess compost and cook.
-farming smells so bad. I love farming but animal poop, rotten veggies, innards, decay and compost, burning compost smells. if you cant stomach it and want the easy way out, thats called starvation or you better be beefy and prepped enough to raid others. or both, gorw your shit and steal from others, i dont care.
-forgot to mention earlier, but fermented foods like kimchi, kombucham etc are really good for you so yea. I might also teach you how to make kombucha cause my mom made me drink it so by god ill make you drink it too. ( i actually love it and it's good for making vinegar.)
-And forgot, legumes, like beans, peanuts, letils etc are really good plant protein. just not fun to grow, (ecept for beans. beans are actually very fun to to grow.)
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jtl-fics · 7 months
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new kings p&q
WIP Wednesday - Closed (8/30/23) | New Kings AU
"That is not what it stands for!" Kevin shouts indignantly.
"It may not be what they meant it to stand for," Neil says with a raised eyebrow, "but it is what it means." Neil says.
"You don't understand all the science and engineering and history that goes into making Meals Ready to Eat!" Kevin says punctuating the actual meaning of the acronym.
"I don't have to understand the science, engineering or history to know that if I had the choice between dying and eating MRE menu option #4 the Vomelet ever again I would eat it but I would make whoever gave it to me as an option suffer a fate worse than death." Neil says with an exaggerated shudder.
"Wait, you ate them before?" Kevin asks.
"Stays good for long periods of time, you can get a lot of them for relatively cheap at surplus shops, and you won't get scurvy the way you can from microwave meals?" Neil lists some of the benefits. "I ate them on the run all the time." Neil says.
"So do you have opinions on them?" Kevin asks.
"Kevin, do you think I call them Meals Rarely Eaten and I don't have an opinion on them?" Neil asks
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elizabethrobertajones · 9 months
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4, 5, 13, 24, urithan :3
oooooh.
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What’s their favorite sleeping/cuddling positions?
Listen. Listen, I am all for creative thinking outside the box big spoon/little spoon dynamics that smash expectations and have some edgy cool take on the characters. Thancred probably agrees with me and squirms and wiggles and rolls over with huffs and sighs while they're trying to fall asleep and he's fighting it off, and also fighting off Urianger's sleepy grasping arms reaching for a cuddle.
But they WILL wake up all snug and cuddled up with Urianger as the big spoon, all wrapped around him and the blankets kicked away because he runs hot. And it will be the coziest he's ever felt every time and he'll make just as many grumpy little comments about Urianger letting go and trying to get out of bed as he did while elbowing him all night trying to resist this.
Sometimes you just need the elezen weighted blanket.
Who does what chores?
Obviously Urianger can't cook because he's a prime Archon Loaf advocate (urgh, no one's perfect, here's your reminder). I'm not sure Thancred is MUCH better but he can do practical meals which won't poison you and he got a lot better with making do while having to feed Ryne while they travelled together, and can be creative with specifically anything that grows/lives in Il Mheg. Bookman's Shelves is right near the salad foods gathering spot so no one got scurvy. Anyway Urianger probably never, ever tidied up, just sorted the book piles to clear a space to work, but I imagine he has a lot of spells for lazy academics to help with laundry and other cleaning that would be a lot of scrubbing. Especially as an alchemist. I think after Thancred and Ryne left to go back on their travels, Urianger would always find his space a bit tidier than he remembered, and Thancred would notice the whites on their clothes really popped and they were stain-free again.
What’s their opinions on PDA?
Thancred like "love them... wait, for me?" and then disappears in a puff of smoke. He can't even admit to more than wry attachment to his own husband in public. He can probably be coaxed out of that shell since he's quietly admitted he sort of maybe likes Urianger by now, but honestly. That's a work in progress and Urianger probably doesn't feel a strong stake in overcoming it, more than not wanting to upset Thancred by absentmindedly touching him and making him squirm in alarm at being Perceived. I feel like Thancred's emotional barriers that stop him expressing Genuine Emotions without narrating them grimly is kind of a core character trait so godspeed, Urianger.
(He's got so much better at some of the other stuff so I'm not completely hopeless :P)
What are their favorite places to kiss on their partner(s)? What are their favorite types of kisses?
I will always hold that Urianger loooooves kissing archon marks etc (Thanks Moenbryda for the thigh tattoo), which means lots of neck kissies for Thancred. Pulling on that collar to get at it, nuzzling him when they're just hugging and he burrows in to press his lips there... Just totally irresistible to him.
.... I can't stop thinking about how *I* would want to walk up behind Urianger and kiss the skin exposed by his plunging back of his dress so I'm just shamelessly giving that headcanon to Thancred to enjoy.
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one-coming-is-enough · 4 months
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I wanna hear about your beef with Mr. Claus, if you don't mind.
I've been sleeping on this ask for a minute, and it's time, honestly. I've had such a busy holiday season already, it's crazy! I mean, this year in addition to all the zombies, I'm trying to get through the training videos for taking over Hell, and they're meandering, awkward, and full of incoherent jargon. It's just a lot!
But the 6th was St. Nicholas's Day, and tonight it's Hanukkah, so I should definitely answer this one.
St. Nicholas is a decent guy, if a little stiff-necked. His thing is giving dowries to poor women so they don't have to go into sex work. And also bringing poor children back to life after they're sold for stew meat.
(Also, he was the one who proposed at the Council of Nicea that Easter be celebrated on the first full moon after the spring equinox, which tied it to the solar calendar instead of the lunar calendar. Granted, this was to reduce the Jewish influence on the religion, but it also made it easier for Me to celebrate Passover, and I really like Passover.)
So St. Nicholas Day ends up being a day where, instead of finding the nearest whore and offering to fund her marriage (sex work is work), you give money and presents to children. You can see the connection, yeah? Make sure kids have what they need growing up and they won't go hoing to make ends meet. Or have to be made into stew.
Meanwhile, we have this spirit over in the East called Ded Moroz, or Grandpa Frost. He's just, like, an old guy who freezes stuff. He'll take your kids if they wander out in the cold like you told the little bastards not to do.
And because of cultural drift, the duties of Ded Moroz get shifted over to Odin, another dude from the East. Originated somewhere between the steppes of Mongolia and Turkey, as far as anyone knows, finally made his way to Sweden and even the British Isles. Odin is now the Yulefather, the freezer of water and collector of the dead in the dying part of the year. Makes sense, because He's a wind god, since air is the element connected with Spirit at this time. (This is true for Hebrew and Latin, too! Pneuma and ru'ach.)
Well, the church doesn't like that Ded Moroz is a spooky guy who takes souls, decides he's a demon. But people like their Ded Moroz a lot. So now, instead of being a demon who takes souls, he's... Well, who do we have that's also from the East, Turkey specifically, and who is associated with giving or taking something, especially regarding children?
We have St. Nicholas! Who gives children presents instead of taking their souls, and coincidentally can calm the storm (of wind) that so often takes the souls of those lost outside in the cold. And his holiday is just under 20 days before Yule Xmas it's Christmas now. (Or, Yuletide. You know, whatever. Sheol is Hades now, who gives a shit.)
So it all gets kinda muddled up. Odin, St. Nick, Ded Moroz. Father Frost, Father Solstice, Father Christmas.
Well, I'm hanging out in the Holy Roman Empire, and I hear about this guy known as Sinterklaas. I think it's my old buddy and trusted employee Nicholas of Myra, who as far as I know has been buying, freeing, and funding the education and/or startups of slaves for as long as that's been possible. (He has six to eight African guys he ended up hiring on as assistants.) And I hear he's giving out not just coins and oranges, which prevent scurvy, but also toys and candy. And Nicholas of Myra is a good man, but he had zero sense of humor or fun and would never give a kid candy ("it rots your teeth, at least have an orange").
So I track down this Klaus, whom the kids also call Kris Kringle. I hear the kids have been doing all sorts of weird rituals to him, like the Spanish Yule log that shits candy, or the little pooping guy they hide in the Nativity scene (also Spanish, now that I think about it. What the fuck did the Inquisition do to people's brains over there?). And that he has a creepy BDSM goat called the Krampus for an assistant, who's in charge of dealing out the punishment to bad kids (that one's German and I thought it was just, like, the nation's id or something).
And he's smol. I mean, this guy is fucking Thumbelina sized. Roughly round, jolly as fuck, red fur trimmed in white, pointy toque beanie to match, and a miniature sleigh with eight tiny reindeer. Telltale pointed ears. Sparkling all over like they do.
Eight transmuted beings. Sleipnir (Dasher), Shiva and Baal Marquad (Dancer, Prancer), a kitsune (Vixen), a fallen star (Comet), Eros Himself (Cupid), and Thunder and Lightning -- Thor and Loki. Donner and Blitzen.
It's an entire Neil Gaiman novella of folks who've, I dunno, lost some kind of bet to him.
Okay. So he's one of The Neighbors. Gotta be careful.
I greet him like he's my old buddy Nicholas. I ask him how the soul collection is going and ask to see his inventory. He demurs, but I remind him that I'm his boss and they'll all come to Me eventually anyway. I just want to see if I think he ought to put any back. Oh, and can I just scan your company badge so I can establish that you made your check-in?
Well, I'm bluffing really hard, but he doesn't know that. He says he lost it. I tell him I'll wait with the souls until he gets back -- actually, whoa, looks like he's got a full load there. I'll take them in Myself.
That's when he laughs and says, "Well, Jesus, looks like You caught Me fair and square tonight. But how's about you and I make a deal? I'll spread Your Word and tell children to be good. And I will tell them to give to others all year round, because that's the spirit of Christmas. If they are good all year round, doing what their parents say, I will give them presents. If they are not good all year round -- which is to say, they don't do what their parents tell them to earn Christmas presents -- I will not give them presents. Fair?"
Note the wording carefully. Note where there's an and, and where there's not an and.
This works for a while. And then this song comes out.
Something seems wrong if kids are getting Santa presents according to the wealth of their parents, not their goodness over the year.
Then I find out that the primary metric by which Santa distributes presents is no longer behavior, but belief.
Not in Me.
In SANTA CLAUS.
I storm into his North Pole office yelling idolatry and he's got a fucking elven lawyer underlining shit. He didn't convert. He only promised to encourage charity. He didn't promise presents for charity, it's just for kids doing what their parents say they need to in order to get gifts, and right now that's belief in him.
I'm fucking steamed and he points out that I do exactly the same thing. Instead of doing good works or seeing the Divine in others regardless of social status or even fighting for equality here on Earth, Heaven has gotten twisted around to the point where believing in Me alone -- not what I stand for, which at this point can be nearly anything, but just the idea that I existed and did the Thing -- is considered sufficient acceptance criteria.
And I can't argue with that but I hate it. I hate that it's come to that. I hate what My section of Heaven looks like these days. I personally have been pleading for them to enact stringent, clearer, and above all objective metrics of entry, but I'm outnumbered in My own 5D connected consciousness in that opinion!!!
So. Fuck that guy. I'd literally rather you just worship Odin for Yule flat-out than fuck with Santa Claus, because at least He has solid advice for living and a comprehensive afterlife system.
I don't know what Santa Claus is doing with all that belief except get bigger, and it really scares Me.
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mossy-moth · 2 years
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cooking tips from someone who's been living alone for four years:
-dont put something on the highest heat unless you're boiling it. it won't make it go faster, you'll just burn your food
-you can lift up the edge of a pancake and see the color underneath to know if it's ready to flip
-DONT USE METAL ON CAST IRON IM BEGGING YOU
-noodles are cheap but not very nutritious, it's real easy to throw some boiled vegetables in with them while they're cooking (i recommend peas)
-on that note tho, most vegetables you hated as a kid taste better cooked in a pan with some oil/butter and spices (i use salt, pepper and thyme usually)
-cooking chicken is alot less scary than you think
-yes you need those spices
-no, you NEED them
-throw some water in a pan to see if it's hot enough (if it immediately sizzles away it is, otherwise you'll just end up burning your butter)
-if you have the money, invest in a nonstick frying pan. thank me later
-frozen vegetables last longer, it's better to have them untouched in the fridge for two months than having to buy new carrots every week
-after a while you're gonna start craving a salad or like. fruit and veggies. listen to that, don't get scurvy
-its alot harder to get scurvy than you think
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Welcome Onboard
Nikolai Lantsov x OC
My original character blurb
Cofton, Novyi Zem
I took a deep breath as I knocked Nikolai's door. A very familiar voice said "Come in." I opened the door and saw him bended onto some papers under candle's light. He was frowning, deeply concentrated. I silently walked and sat down on his bed, pulled my knees to my chest and leaned to wall. Nikolai breathed out loudly and then stretched his back by lifting his arms. Turned to me, "So?"
"So, your decision is final."
"Yep. What about yours?" he asked, his hazel eyes were shining in half lighted room.
Our gun master was thinking about keeping me as his apprentice for more times, he was thinking that I was so talented about making guns and he was keep saying that I'll be a famous gunmaster one day. But, I wasn't wanting this at all. I didn't know how much I can handle being in a foreign country. I didn't know many people here and I was really not interested in making guns. I wanted to be free. I wanted to be close to my father. I wanted to be with Nikolai. I wanted adventure, just like stories that I used to read as a kid.
I cleared my throat and took a deep breath. "Actually I am still struggling in Zemeni and making guns are not my thing that much." I said as fast as I can.
"But you are pretty good at it."
"Just because I am a Grisha."
Nikolai silked his shoulders.
"And also, it's far from sea here."
He lifted his eyebrow.
I wrapped my arms around my legs and putted my chin on my knees.
"I also know sailor knots."
He started smiling, so do I.
"I also know stars, it's pretty important to navigate in open seas. If you don't want to draw circles and die because of scurvy, you need someone like me." I said while looking at the ceiling.
"Also I need Fabricators too, you can find a place in this quota too!"
"I am just not sure if I am-"
"You are enough!" He said with a bored voice.
I wasn't smiling anymore. Anxiety was hitting me hard.
"I promise, you are enough." Now his voice was soft.
"Promise me to not kicking me out when I mess things up."
"You won't. You never did and not doing now either.  I am sure you will not. If you do, I'll throw myself off deck."
"Well, I am even more stressed out right now, thanks." I said with a shadow of a laugh.
"You'll get used to. Being second captain means many responsibility."
"No, you'll find someone more experienced and knows how to do things and he'll help you, only someone like this can be your second captain."
"Well, I am sure we can handle."
"No. Nikolai, I am serious. Not because of I don't want to be your second captain. Because of this is serious. Promise me to find someone experienced to help you."
"You are acting like the man that you want me to find."
I took a deep breath. "You are making me tired sometimes."
"Alright, go rest now. Everything will be how it should be, I promise."
Then Nikolai stood up and extended his hand to shake mine. "Welcome onboard, Miss Skarsgard. His smiling was blinding. I stood up while reflecting his expression, took his hand. "Thank you kapitan."
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taggedmemes · 3 months
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SENTENCE MEME SORROW-SCOPES FROM TWITTER (PART THREE)
"Positivity is a state of mind. Unfortunately, you'll never be able to afford to live in that state."
"This is a great week to come out of your shell and reveal your soft, delicious underbelly to nearby predators. Wait, pretend you didn't hear that second part."
"Today you will receive an affectionate, supportive visit from someone close to you. They will come into your home unannounced and say kind platitudes in a soothing register. After they leave, it will slowly dawn on you that they never once blinked or breathed."
"They say laughter is the best medicine but this week you'll really need penicillin. However, you won't get it in time."
"Your fortune will change for the better this week as you drop from number 3 to number 5 on the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list."
"The good news is you finally discover that you are no longer alone in the world. The bad news is you need to hire an exterminator."
"Be like water. Sink down into an underground aquifer and stay hidden for centuries."
"It always seems impossible until it's done. Except in your case, you can't do anything."
"Crying in public is nothing to be ashamed of. And everyone needs a hobby."
"You feel superior to the people who get depressed in fall and winter because you can be depressed in beautiful, abundant sunlight."
"You'll finally grow a spine this week. This is not a metaphor, this is a violation of human cloning laws."
"What doesn't kill you will camp out in the hills and patiently wait."
"Instead of trying to improve your life, you're reading this and doing nothing."
"Like a ship on a storm-wracked sea, your future will feature shivering timbers, foamy waves, and the possibility of scurvy. Eat some fruit."
"Did you remember to look in the roomba for any incriminating evidence?"
"New day, new you! Hide the body of the old you before they figure out what you have done."
"You will find love this week! It will be fucking terrible."
"Someone will offer you the moon this week. Decline politely because you do not want someone with that kind of technology angry with you."
"You'll be like a kid in a candy store this week, unable to afford anything."
"You will awake one morning from uneasy dreams to find yourself transformed in your bed into a gigantic insect. And buddy, it'll be a huge improvement."
"The weekend is just another reminder of how sad and lonely your life is."
"Might as well go into the forbidden woods, what else is there to do at this point?"
"You will not die alone. You will die surrounded by a crowd of sheering onlookers as you slowly lose consciousness."
"You being yourself isn't really working for anybody."
It just says ferret problems, ghost bones, and a cheese hangover, so good luck with all that."
"Don't feel bad about failing. No one cares enough about you to notice."
"The cruel little voice in your head is right about you. It's also super fun at parties and has twice as much sex as you."
"You notice that birds start to line up to stare when you go outside. You finally ask why and one crow lays a map at your feet. You follow the map and it leads to a broken vending machine. Inside the vending machine is a Crystal Pepsi. Anyway, life is pain."
"You do not have a doppelganger. You were a mistake that was not repeated."
"A transformation is coming, but not like a butterfly. More like werewolf."
"You are going to ruin your life this week, but no one will be able to tell the difference."
"In the symphony of life, you are playing the kazoo."
"Don't let your negative feelings about the past affect your negative feelings about the future."
"If at first you don't succeed, try giving up and going back to bed."
"You will turn over a new leaf this week, but the other side will have a little sticker that says 'you are incapable of change'."
"Um, better luck next life, I guess."
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lily-orchard · 7 months
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What is this whole "brownface" controversy anyway?
I know bad faith actors are going to scream about this because it's a response other than "Yes I am literally satan" but...
Short Version: A lot of nothing.
Long Version:
The Puppet has had the same skin tone since V3, a light greyish beige. The colour was originally picked by Lizzy and has stayed the same since 2016. The Puppet's skin isn't dark, its just washed out and dull.
This was always a consequence of Lizzy's work, as she always chose pale, dull colours to work with unless she was explicitly given a palette.
There wasn't really a controversy about it until Madhouse came out, when Comic!Lily was put in direct contrast with Comic!Mikay and G, where the greyness of her color palette often stood out.
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Holy hell, she looks she's been locked in a bunker for three years.
The thing is, when randos accused me of brownfacing, I genuinely and sincerely had no idea what they were talking about. They would often pull up old selfies taken under lamplight that all had poor white balancing on them anyway, and most of which were taken in the winter. If I used them as a basis, the Puppet would look like she had scurvy.
I did try to engage them in good faith, but they could never answer "what SHOULD she look like?" They were always evasive in that regard, so I always just wrote them off. Similar thing with the whole "Marah is Hollywood Fat" controversy, honestly. No straight answer when I said "What should she look like then?"
Their arguments were just so bad faith that they couldn't be taken seriously by anyone other than those who NEEDED them to be true for ulterior motives. And it just tied into this racist "Lily's faking her heritage because we said so" nonsense that got popular around the same time.
And the truth is I'm just not good at colors. It wasn't until a few days ago actually when someone finally said "The real problem is that the puppet's grey." The darker and lighter tones of its gradient just look dead.
I know this won't satisfy the people accusing me of brownface, and if anything the adjusted colours coming soon won't satisfy them either (going from #dcae94 to #efb598, which isn't much a shift in lightness, but less washed out), but these are not reasonable people. If they were they would have actually answered me when I said "The fuck are you talking about?"
I tried to engage with this in good faith years ago. They didn't want to. They just wanted to be mad. They didn't want it changed because it would give them less to be mad about, and if it did get changed to their satisfaction they would take that as a confession.
So it's a nothing controversy that could have been fixed years ago if someone had just said "You're too grey, you look like you haven't seen the sun in years."
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homunculus-argument · 2 years
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Since the scurvy post is still haunting me, I'm once again realising just how plausible the entire concept of magic would be to a person born before our time, with perfectly good abilities to reason and detect patterns, but without scientific understanding of how things in the wild work on a biological level.
When reading about old finnish folk healing, a lot of the medicine plants were listed as a cure for scurvy. While I couldn't find any source whether the disease had any name at all in the finnish language before someone suggested a translation from the swedish term in 1678, they sure as fuck didn't know what vitamin C is.
Consider the following: Someone in the village who is known to be weird has been gathering plants that aren't considered food. They tell you to make a brew out of them and drink it in the winter so you won't get sick. You decline this suspicious potion and in the winter your gums start bleeding and some of your teeth fall out, someone's old stab wound reopens and will not heal back, and three children die, two of which were previously healthy.
If that is not the curse of an obviously fucked up witch, then what the fuck is it.
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panzershrike-pretz · 4 months
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Lanterns
Part 4
Disclaimer: -----
Summary: A Goddess who lost her faith, trying to get back to her senses so her family doesn't fall apart.
Warnings: -----
Taglist: @malarkgirlypop , @bucky32557038ww2, @xxluckystrike (if you want in or out, just tell me!)
-> Image below found here.
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Hydra hadn't noticed that she kept the lantern as she made her way back to shore. Her feet dragged along the sand, so lost in her own mind she coudn't even focus on whatever she needed to do - it only clicked when she found herself crashing against one of her crewmates.
"Oh, i'm so sorry! I didn't- well, i wasn't-"
"Is 'at yours?", Sirius pointed at the lantern, confused as to why his sister had it.
"Uh... yeah... kind of. An elder gave it to me at the church..." Hydra said slowly, incapable of meeting his eyes. She wasn't planning on dealing with him right now. "She was so sweet, i couldn't say no..."
Sirius smirked, walking around her as if to make sure she was in one piece, having a good look to see if she had hit her head against something. Then, he grabbed her by the hand to give her a little spin. "Ok. Who're ya and what'd ye do with my sister?"
"What? Why?", she laughed, smiling at is anttics.
"Well 'cuz the Hydra I know would ne'er be seen with one o' those", he pointed at the lantern once again, curious. "Ye'll keep it?"
"Why are you like this, stupid?" She scoffed, narrowing her eyes at him. "As a matter of fact, I was indeed plannin' on keepin' it."
" 'Kay, spill yer beans. Ye ain't my Hydra, are ya?", he kept his stupid smirk, crossing his arms. Part of him was proud of his baby sister for deciding to keep it - and another, bigger part of him, was worried she might be really sick. "Go on, I know ye're just someone in disguise. Hit me with a bullet, ye Royal sea rat."
"Sirius! I'm not one of those bastards!"
"Well, one can only guess... I think I lost me darling sis'...", he said, trying to seem sad while wipping an imaginary tear out of his eye. "She'll be so dearly missed... I do wonder what is my part in her heirloom... Can I keep yer good stuff? I might sell yer clothes, those would make me get some good booty"
Hydra rolled her eyes at him, making her way towards the ship - but Sirius was right on her tail, questioning her every move 'till she stopped right on her tracks and stared him down.
"Didn't Sam give you something to do?"
"He did." Sirius nodded. "But I won't. As Ol' Athena said... not feelin' it."
"You do know that you're not in a position to choose, don't you?"
"Then why aren't ye doing what he told ye? If me memory isn't faillin' me, Sam told ya to get mor' coal and fire wood." Sirius watched carefully as his sister's face dropped in disbelief. He knew she had forgotten - and he also knew he was told to help her out, but decided not to simply to be lazy on the beach. "No prob, little Ibis, I can take the blame for ya. Ye know, like always."
"You just wan't something to manipulate me with, that's what you want."
"Yeah, that too... but I wouldn't like my sweet always-on-point smart-ass responsible baby sister to get in trouble, would I?"
Hydra could not believe her ears, having to contain her laugh. "You manipulative scurvy snake!"
Sirius shook his shoulders. "Worth a try."
As both started walking back - Hydra to drop off the lantern and Sirius to rub into Sam's face how useless he was -, they just let the sound of the waves hitting the beach fill the air. The man was whistling some song she could only make out half of - probably a sea shanty.
Some seagulls looked over at them, curious and unbothered, sitting over in one of the little docks where fishermen would sit all day long waiting for bites.
She still had Maria's words in her mind and wasn't really able to ignore it. Something inside her was screaming that she needed to step up to her own responsibilities and make her title worth it at least a little bit. She felt jealous, of course.
Sirius was also a God; he took care of the night, the stars, the dogs and secrets. The man was good at his job, even though he's not exactly that interested in it, seeing as he did nothing more than the basic stuff - Hydra knew he would much rather prefer to stay snuggled up with both Michael and the Captain, Jeremy. And they were good in their own realms too.
Michael would always talk about his duties some thousand years ago, when someone stops to listen to his tellings. He loves to tell stories about the old rituals and celebrations for the moon himself, dancing around at night with the wolves and people of his own little kingdom.
Jeremy, in another hand, was one of the youngest Gods there was, but he also provided enough. He made the wind blow strong into Blithe's sails and always looked for his crew with his protective demeanor.
Hydra decided not to mention Athena, Rodion nor Darty. They all couldn't care less for their duties - specially Darty, since their whole thing was looking pretty and cursing narcisistic people, or something. It was pure hypocrisy in Hydra's eyes.
She didn't even notice when Peggy came running in their direction, jumping in the sand. The woman only saw the dog when it was almost too late and she was already tripping both pirates - who had too much luck not to fall face first on the ground.
Peggy barked, wagging her tail while running around them. She wanted to play and wasn't much preocupied if she made anyone eat sand so she could have company.
Sirius laughed as he took Hydra's lantern out of her hands. He knew she needed some time and decided to drop it off with her things by himself - and also, be the only one who'll need to hear any rants about not doing their tasks.
Hydra looked at him while he walked, somewhat grateful. Then she felt Peggy bite ate her wing feathers, pulling the woman to play.
Come on! Come on! Come look at what I found!
The dog barked as she let go of Hydra, running head first into the beach's waves and submerging her nose, only to immediately back down with a big shell in her mouth. She walked over to Hydra, nudging her with with her nose so she could take the shell and throw it.
Hydra did exactly that. Too many times, to be clear. As always, Peggy would run after it, her whole body shaking and then jump, probably swallowing some sand as she came back to another throw.
Eventually, Hydra found herself sitting in a rock while the dog ran wild, taken by the zoomies. The lapwings and seagulls would land and then immediately fly off again because of her.
Peggy came happily to her again, carrying something in her mouth to show the woman. The dog had her tongue out and whatever it was she had with her was trying to wiggle it's way out. It was only when she was really close that Hydra noticed it was a crab. How the fuck did Peggy find a crab?
The animal wasn't exactly happy with it's new uber dog, and when it got the chance, Peggy screamed the loudest she could, being pinched by it's claws on her lip. She violently shook her head and sent it flying to the sand, right before barking all her swear words at it.
Bad bad! Bad! Not good, you behaved bad! Bad! Her mind repeated, as it was the worse thing she could think of for calling the crab. She sure hated being called bad girl, so it would too, right?
Well, the crab only stood it's ground, menacingly waving it's claws at her before running away to the nearest bush.
Peggy looked over at where it ran to, making a quick mental note not to grab anymore of those things. It would fight back. It was definetely not food, sadly.
"Did you learn anything from that, Peggy?", Hydra asked amidst tearful laughs. "Who am I kidding? You would never."
Peggy immediately forgot about her newest unlocked fear, making her way towards the woman and sitting with the head on her lap to get some good scratches behind the ear.
"What do you think, Peggy?", she asked. "Do you like the lanterns?"
I don't know, is it food? The dog looked up, interested.
"You know, sometimes I wonder what do you have in mind."
---------------------------
Sirius didn't really take long before making his way up to Blithe's main deck. He was lost in his own mind, staring at the carved drawings on that lantern, when he felt eyes burning at his skin and looked up, only to find himself face to face with a very pissed off Seamus who was having a very bad time.
"What? Did Dean not kiss ya today?" The God asked, forgetting completely that Sam was, in fact, expecting him to return with wood and coal.
"No. He actually did." Sam narrowed his eyes at the man. "Aren't you forgetting something, pretty boy?"
Sirius looked around, then it downed on him. He smiled, playfully.
"Ahhh, Sammy, ye know how things are... would ye forgive an old man for forgettin' stuff?"
"Not exactly when that old man looks younger than me. Where is the stuff?"
"Look, this time I do have a good reason!", Sirius started, hoping that his story would make Sam completelly forget about his lack of responsibility. "I was followin' Hydra 'cuz, ye know, she's the good siblin'. Then she simply vanished out of nowhere. And I was soooo lost... and sad... definetely sad. And lost."
"Bullshit."
"Wait! Lemme finish! Then I made me way back to beach, aye, but I was just really worried 'bout her. Then I waited 'till she came back... and she ne'er did."
Seamus rolled his eyes so hard he thought they were going to fall off his face. "Right. Then how would you have this lantern? Did some ol' bunch o' dogs bring it to you, flea bag?"
"The woman that came in her place, and me swear on me life-"
"Stop it."
"A'ight. She did come back, yeah, with this. Mine sister's just goin' badonkers and accepted this lantern as a gift from an old woman."
Seamus stared at the thing, deciding if he would believe Sirius or not. It was a really hard choice, seeing as he knew Hydra fucking hated getting anything to fo with the Night of Libero Sanctis and Sirius would actually come up with whatever excuse he could to cover up his lazyness. Eventually, though, he decided to quietly nod and go along. Something in him felt some slight hint of truth in Sirius' words.
"She's commin' around." The man said, tilting his head. "I'll let your stupidness slide and won't tell Jeremy."
"What would he do?", Sirius laughed. "Put me to sleep on the couch? The man loves me too much for tha', he cannt dream of sleepin' withou' me. Ye know, I'm actually pretty good to hug and..."
"I really don't need to know how's your love life. Shut your trap before I change my mind and have meeting the Cat o' Nine."
"Did you also do that to your men in the army?" Sirius teased, smug. "Did they know what a Cat o' Nine was? Is the cool and collected Cap'n Finnegan loosing his composure? Would yer men be proud?"
"No they fuckin' didn't because they weren't smatasses like you, shark bait! And, in fact, I think they would've begged me to put your down, dog."
"Ohhh, shiver me timbers! Ye'll have to stop hangin' the jib, matey!"
Sam frowned. He sure did want to shove Sirius down the plank.
Sirius saw this as a win. Making Sam unconfortable was one of his favorite past times, anyway.
He dropped the lantern off with Hydra's stuff before going up to the Captain's Cabin. The door was unlocked, so he saw himself right in, as usual, but found Jeremy was not there. Instead, was Michael, sitting in bed, reading a book.
The room was big and confortable - way more so than the lower deck stuffed with hammocks and snores all night long. Sirius smiled as he walked up to Micah, crawling into bed and letting himself fall just close enough to the other man so he would notice.
"Hey, darlin'", Michael smiled, closing the book before giving Sirius all his attention. "Are you alright?"
"Jus'... thinkin'."
"You don't do that often". Michael began playing with the other's hair, waiting to see if he had anything more to say. "What is fillin' yer mind, hearty?"
Sirius couldn't help himself - Micah was so sweet and welcoming, it always made him spill whatever he was holding in mind.
He spoke about how Hydra was acting weird, spoke about his fear for the crew's well being, about Athena's lack of awareness about how Jeremy wanted to shove her down the sea and never let her back up again... all the things he could think of, he spoke about. Spoke about his day, about the beach, about the lantern, about Peggy and about another thousand things.
And Micah heard every word, without interrupting his partner. He just stared into Sirius pretty face, making braids in his long hair while listening. After all was over, then it was time for him to speak.
"I understand you. I also feel like things are rough those last couple of months... it's not our fault, you know?" He tried to tell Sirius, but his own words were lacking the confidence to say it. "It's just what happens when people are stuck together for so long."
Sirius nodded, letting himself relax a bit more under Micah's touch.
"I fear it's actually a response to... whate'er Hydra's been going thru, ye know?" He admited.
"How so?"
"Ye know... she's a Family Goddess. Ye remembe' how when Rod's mom was sick and spring was all fucked up 'cuz of tha'? It's like somethin' like tha' is happenin' to us."
"Go on...?" Michael was actually curious to hear Sirius' theory.
"Maybe Hydra's crisis is wha' is givin' fuel to all those fights? Like... I can't explain but we're family and... kind of... she may be messin' with our bonds withou' noticin'" he said, confused at his own words. "Jus' think 'bout it... doesn't tha' make sense?"
"It does." It wasn't Michael who answered, but Jeremy, who was just quietly listening to their talk. He caught both in surprise, waving while making his way to sit at the bed with them. "Sirius has a good point. That may be the cause of the problem."
"Good, it means I'm the smartest of us now?" He smiled at the Captain, who could only laugh.
"Nah, I think that title stays with Micah."
"Thank you, love." The lycanthrope smiled. "Sirius is right, tho. Maybe Hydra really is havin' trouble and accidentaly lettin' it off on us. We should help her..."
"To be honest, she's already helping herself." Sirius said. "Maybe I should ask her to stay with us the Holiday? Maybe I can make her do it..."
"She loves you. Can't see her saying no to this pretty face." Jeremy winked at him, making Sirius blush and giggle under his breath.
"He's right. She'd be a cold heartless wench to say no to you. I could never!" Micah laughed, which make the other blush even harder.
"Oh, dear. I'll never get used to you two."
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9 notes · View notes