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micia-posts-stuff · 1 month

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Spoilers for Spy x Family chapter 96

(Part 2) Now let's talk about the dance and the thing.

Damian blushing hard is always funny and adorable, look at him! The poor boy doesn't know what to do with all these feelings! Also it's interesting that we get yet another instant of Anya shivering when she perceives his feelings towards her. We saw it happen first very early on, in the chapter where she had to apologize for punching him, and we saw it recently in chapter 88 when they were in Henderson's office. It's a recurring thing at this point, wich makes me think she'll understand what it is in the future, not any time soon, but for now she still perceives that something is there.

This is so cute, the boy is having a whole flashback to them holding hands (there is also the light novel but it's not included in the events of the manga sadly). He was so nervous of being so near her and holding hands, he wants to dance with her but he's also totally panicked, so precious!!!

Yesss goofy dancing!

THIS PANEL ALSO KILLED ME. I'm double dead!

Look at his expression!!!!! The little smile when he thinks of Anya's family! The yearning for something similar and the hint of sadness because he knows he can't have it. SOMEONE GIVE THIS KID A HUG. HE'S SO SAD. And the way he opens up to her! Like tell me they're not friends! Tell me he would say that to anyone! You can't! This closeness they have, even tho it's unconventional, it's so important to him. This is very similar to the scene after the bus hijacking. Anya has officially been established as someone he opens up to. Even though he still thinks Anya is after his family (and he's right), he also understand there is something different from other people. And even after he denies what he just said telling her "he totally wins because he learned from a pro" Anya understands he was being sincere before and that was just a way to cover up how he really feels. And it would have been sooo easy for Endo to just make her be angry at that comment, but he didn't and I'm so happy, because this moment is very important. Because it's an honest moment between them, where they really open up to each other, wich bring us to...

Listen. Being a Damianya shipper, I was obviously looking forward to this chapter. But no amount of hype could have prepared me for THIS. I'd never have imagined we would get one of THE reveals, but I'm totally here for it. First of all I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE HIM YESSSS

Second the fact that happened not only during their dance BUT DURING THE CASQUÈ, chef kiss, straight out of of fanon, amazing, incredibile, show-stopping. (Also on a two pages panel!!!!!)

Third and most important, the fact that it happened. As people pointed out this doesn't help Anya's mission in the slightest, in fact it puts it in danger. Anya has tried to hide this secret from anyone. But NOW she tells HIM. This is not a high stake moment, a moment where she confesses out of necessity. No, she tells him now because she saw he was being honest with her, because he was showing her his feelings, because he really touched her. And she told HIM because she knows he would be able to understand her, because she saw through his facade. She has been starting to see how similar they are a while ago, but it was highlighted particularly during the bus hijacking. Not only, as underlined in the quiz, they both love their fathers and are doing everything to impress them and for them to love them, but she also can relate to his loneliness, because of her life before the Forger family. When he said "your family...sounds nice" She saw in him the same thing she felt back then. That's why she decided to tell him, because she knows he won't reject her, like she's afraid other people would. And in these months she was also able to see his true self underneath the facade and yes they always end up fighting, but she is clever enough to recognize his sincerity when it really matters. She has learned to know him and decided to trust him with her biggest secret.

And Damian obviously doesn't believe her ahah. I mean I don't think anyone was expecting otherwise, it's only logical. BUT a couple of things. First of all the first expression he made, he maybe didn't believed her after thinking it over, but for a moment the thought was there, the suspicion has definitely been planted in his head. Second, this wasn't just a slip-up by Anya, it may have come out naturally in the moment, but she definitely ment to tell him. If it was a slip-up she could have easily played along with Damian and say something like "yeah I was joking, it was a line from my cartoons" But no she doubled down! She got angry that he didn't believed her and called her dummy, she definitely wants him to know! This is important because from now on she can act with the notion that she told Damian. Like if she needs him to know that someone thought about something, she can tell him! Even if he doesn't believe it, she told him already so it's just a matter of having him trust her. I don't know if she'll try to convince him or if something will come up later where they'll need to work together using her mind reading abilities, but I hope he'll believe her sooner rather than later because it would be so interesting! Imagine all the shenanigans they can go through together if he knows of her mind reading abilities! Imagine the struggle of hiding his crush once Damian finally admits his feelings to himself! It would be such a cool dynamic! I do understand Spy x family has the tendency to always return to the status quo and that's fine, it's a slow burn, but now something major has ctually happened! It would be kinda lame for this massive thing to change nothing about the story and be swept under the rug. Like it's fine if some little moments don't change things too much but this is THE MIND POWERS REVEAL! It needs to have an impact.

Now I'm really interested in seeing their povs. I want to see if Anya will regret telling him, since she was so worried that people might discover her powers. Maybe this could finally lead into Anya's backstory. And I really really want Damian's pov, because as soon as we see him seriously thinking about it he will have to realize it's true. He already had his suspicions and there are not many other explanations about the knowledge Anya has. Plus if he doesn't realize it now based on the past, he'll have to realize it in the future when Anya relies a bit too much on her powers, wich is something that happens fairly often. Like if something like old maid happens again, there's no way he won't think about what she told him.

And last but not least

Endo usually uses these little boxes to show us the actual progress of the mission. He has put friendship to ??? before, so he could have left it ambiguous if he wanted to, but he didn't. He confirmed this was an important progress in their friendship, despite Damian not believing her and them arguing at the end. Wich makes me a bit more hopeful that something will come from this.

#Damianya #Damian Desmond #Anya Forger #spy x family spoilers #spy x family #sxf #sxf 96 #sxf spoilers

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 6)

Last time, we talked about Natsume's growing crush on Mikan. As the festival continues, his feelings will only grow. Today we'll discuss how these new feelings will affect him, and particularly how they have the potential to create tension in his friendship with Ruka.

Chapter Twenty-One

Mikan is guilty for not having already gone to Iinchou’s haunted house in the latent ability class area. So they end up going together. Although Mikan is easily distracted and wants to try everything in the latent area, Natsume is strict on going straight to the destination with no tangents.

Iinchou lets them in right away without having to wait in the hour-long line. Mikan puts on airs about being a country girl and, just like she’s unafraid of bugs, she’s also not afraid of ghosts. Except she totally is.

Ruka and Natsume don’t seem particularly scared of the haunted house so far, but Mikan is, and she clings to Ruka, desperate not to be left behind, even if it means she hurts him with her grasp.

The person who posted these TokyoPop scans forgot a couple pages so for the longest time the beginning of the chapter was so confusing to me...

Natsume looks behind to see them and is jealous, yet again. Just like with Tsubasa, Natsume is unhappy with his fate to be the bad guy in general. He goes out of his way to look bad to protect people and as a result will not be the one clung to. It’s different from Tsubasa though, because this isn’t some nameless middle schooler that Natsume can take his anger out on: this is his best friend, somebody he’s never felt anything but affection for. Natsume doesn’t want to hurt Ruka; he’s just sad that the situation is so messed up.

Lucky for Ruka, Natsume gives up before there can even be a competition.

It’s for the best this way, after all. For Ruka to be happy, for Mikan to be with somebody kind who deserves her, and even for him, because maybe this way Mikan won’t be used against him like everybody else he cares about.

Natsume makes this decision without talking to anybody and before anyone can even figure out that there’s a choice to be made in the first place.

Then they run into a crawling hag and nobody’s immune to the terror that being chased after by that demon brings. All three of them run for it, but they end up in a new spooky room, which freaks Mikan out so much she screams and faints, foaming at the mouth, causing Natsume to fall and twist his ankle and for Ruka’s rabbit to run off. He chases after it, leaving Natsume and Mikan alone. Iinchou breaks whatever causes the electricity to run in the building and now they’re trapped alone in the dark, unable to get out.

Mikan tries to figure out a way for them to escape, but climbing the wall is out of the question since Natsume’s ankle is twisted. He suggests that he blow up the wall, but Mikan is adamantly against that idea because the latent students worked hard to make the mansion. Natsume acquiesces. That’s fine. He doesn’t mind spending more time with her. It just means she’ll have to stay in the dark for longer.

She is very clingy when she’s scared, and although he complains he doesn’t really make any moves to get her off. I mean, why would he? This is exactly what he wanted, though he did only get it because he was the only person around that she could cling to. There’s a moment where he spooks her, perhaps so she would hug him more, but then she whines for him to stop scaring her and the panels are quite sparkly. Natsume is distressed about his new crush and the effect it has on him. Really her whining and puppy-dog eyes are not any less powerful on Natsume than they are on Ruka. He’s just better at hiding it.

He looks at her softly and then has a moment where he looks almost peeved to have felt so fond at all... but it won't last. These days he has more affection for her than irritation.

Mikan tries apologizing about getting angry with him at Anna’s cafe, but he pretends like he has no idea what she’s talking about. To me, this cements that Natsume wants to look bad to her in particular. He doesn’t really want her to figure out that he’s kind deep down or that he’s selfless 99% of the time. He doesn’t want her to think he cares at all because it’s best for him to continue being the same jerk he has been for the past twenty chapters. He’s okay with her hating him, because that way she won’t become the new Ruka, used by the academy as a pawn to get him to jump through more hoops.

She tries to make him smile and that’s another big deal. Most people think Natsume is cool for being so unaffected. His fans think he’s the man, a tough guy who frowns all the time. Even Ruka’s approach to this issue was to stop smiling too.

Mikan’s approach is to tell jokes.

Of course, it doesn’t work, and the jokes aren’t any good, but Mikan is trying something nobody else has done: instead of looking up to him or going down to his level of misery, Mikan’s trying to lift him up. She wants him to smile and be happy and that sets her apart. She’s immature and childish and that brings out the childishness in him too. And like I mentioned a while ago, childishness in Natsume is a good thing. With her, he can bicker and argue and tease like he used to before he came to the academy. She has no idea what he’s going through and her mood changes so quickly she can’t even stay mad or upset. She’s just a joyful and loud girl who rubs off on everyone she meets and Natsume is far from being an exception.

He can just mess around like a kid for once. He doesn't have to be serious around her all the time.

Thus, the next important thing in regards to analyzing their relationship is that the last page of the chapter has him teasing her and then smiling at her reaction. We’ve only seen Natsume smile twice before: with Youichi for a brief moment, and then with Ruka on the cover for Chapter Sixteen (Natsume's evil smile when Mikan gets bullied by middle schoolers doesn't count as a real smile). This officially adds Mikan to the incredibly short list of people who can make Natsume smile. She’s angry with him, arguing, but being able to let go of all his darkness and just tease a girl and have her act with such strong emotions is enough to make him happy. And that’s what this is: Natsume is happy.

Chapter Twenty-Three

The musical creates some tension between Natsume and Ruka, as expected, because liking the same girl can make rifts between friends. On the other hand, this isn’t your typical love triangle. Usually in love triangles, the two guys are already positioned against each other. Though Natsume and Ruka may be opposites in many ways, they are not rivals at all. They love each other, and that love is not at all damaged by the conflict of falling for the same girl; it just becomes tense between them.

In fact, the beginning of the chapter has some Class B pals eagerly going backstage to find Ruka before the somatic ability class musical. When they find him, Natsume is the only one to not laugh at or tease him, and seems to be the only one really concerned with Ruka’s feelings about being cast as Snow White.

When the sticky ball incident occurs, there’s a lot more damage done than there is in the anime. In the anime, some cast and crew get stuck, but ultimately nobody was in any real danger of being hurt. In the manga, there were potentially catastrophic consequences for the blast and a lot of equipment got damaged in the process. A somatic child playing one of the seven dwarves is about to be hit by a stagelight when Natsume rushes to get him out of the way, resulting in them getting stuck together. If Natsume hadn’t stepped in, that kid could have gotten really injured, at least.

As a result of Natsume’s heroism, Narumi suggests that he dress up as a forest friend. When Natsume refuses, the child is to be kicked out of the play, and the seven dwarves will be changed to six. Natsume sees the kid pout and with absolutely no more need for convincing he goes to get changed into a cat outfit.

This is noteworthy because the cat outfit is humiliating (not that Natsume hasn’t worn similar things in official art… just saying) and it’s something he truly does not want to do, but he does it, even though he doesn’t even know the kid. It’s some random somatic kid, not Ruka or Youichi or even Mikan, and yet he goes out of his way to do something truly selfless so that the kid can perform what he’s practiced. Natsume is kind in quiet ways, and not just with the people he cares about. Like with Anna, Natsume puts the needs of someone he isn’t close to in front of his own reputation.

Now, Natsume is in a horrible mood, embarrassed to be seen in the costume, and Ruka is confused why he’d even bother, until he sees the smile on the little kid and everything snaps into place for him. Mikan is a very intuitive and emotional girl who can sense things about all sorts of people, but when it comes to Natsume, nobody knows him better than Ruka, who can tell right away the motives for any of his actions.

I work at a restaurant and kids Natsume's age will be like, "I don't want a kids' menu" and act all grown up and then see how big the adult portions are, so they end up eating the Cub Pancake anyway LMAO. Do you want extra whipped cream and chocolate chips, Natsume?

Onto the actual NatsuMikan portion of this analysis, at long last, Mikan is overjoyed to see how adorable he is in his costume and she is the only one who won’t hold back from saying so because she’s not scared of him. I’ve seen someone complaining that Natsume says “Don’t call men cute,” but I always found that line funny because Natsume is a literal ten-year-old boy… He is not a man at all. It’s the sort of thing you’d expect a kid to say, especially one who wants to be a grown-up as soon as possible, which makes the line endearing to me, but that’s my personal feelings about it. (Like the above caption, I find it very amusing when little kids pretend they're all grown up.)

Anyway, Natsume is as much an idiot as he is in the anime, volunteering Mikan to be the prince, even using one of his three wishes to make it happen. This is all motivated by his feelings of humiliation, and he’s taking it out on her, arguing that he doesn’t want to wear the outfit for no reason so the show has to go on no matter the cost--but this will bite him in the ass sooner rather than later.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The chapter begins and Mikan is very nervous about playing the prince, particularly about looking the part as she is very uncomfortable with her hair down.

This is actually the first time we see Natsume’s feelings about it, but he’ll only make it more clear in about ten more chapters. Here, Mikan wonders if she should put her hair back up and Natsume snaps, “No!” before walking away in a huff. It’s a small scene, and it’s even told through tiny text, but it’s enough to let any reader paying attention know that Natsume also thinks Mikan looks cute with her hair down. Yes, he’s embarrassed to have said anything, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t say it.

Don't worry about him, he's just in a bad mood.

Natsume mainly observes, and nothing noteworthy happens. He eventually goes and gives his line and his aura alone is threatening enough to discourage anyone from laughing or “aww”ing.

The next important moment is when Mikan sees the stage direction to kiss the princess directly on the lips. Narumi says it’s because he’s trying to make up for the loss of sizzle due to the accident, but knowing him, there’s probably more to it. Naru likes stirring the pot and causing drama, although I can hardly tell what his motives are half the time. Truly, I believe he is the most mysterious character in the whole story.

Natsume does not allow this to happen, so he throws something at Mikan’s head--some random box thing--and Hotaru shuts off the lights.

Natsume does something kind of selfish here. He didn’t want them to kiss, so he stopped it. The fact that he grabbed the first thing he saw meant it was a sudden choice to chuck it. I wonder if he had any intentions of just toughing it out and dealing with it, but eventually jealousy won out and he did the selfish thing.

When I say selfish, I don’t mean “bad”. I just mean that for once Natsume is acting based on what he wants, rather than what will make somebody else happy. When it comes to this kid in particular, I actually want him to do selfish things more often, because he very rarely does. He’s been selfless and heroic enough for one day, having saved a kid from getting injured and then wearing that embarrassing costume. He’s allowed to have done this one thing for selfish reasons.

It’s not like it was a bad thing to do either. It would have only benefited Narumi, and possibly the somatic class to have a spicy musical kiss, but it wouldn’t have been good for Ruka or Mikan. Having their first kiss under such conditions, especially when Mikan was just doing the class a favor by acting in the play to begin with, would have been sad. Natsume essentially saved her from the consequences of his own actions, because it would have been his fault if they’d had no choice but to go through with it.

Moreover, like I said earlier, Ruka can simply tell what Natsume’s motives are from a single look. It’s more obvious in the anime, of course, but I still think manga!Ruka is aware that Natsume intervened. He knows Natsume better than anybody, and he’s too smart to think that box came out of nowhere.

This is just the beginning of a long-standing tension between them, one that they will dance around and pretend isn’t happening for quite a while before actually addressing it properly. For now, they have undiscussed feelings and jealousies that will go unchecked and unresolved for some time, building an even deeper divide between them. After all, Natsume and Ruka have enough of a gap on account of Natsume’s missions and his general feelings of not being able to fit in with anybody. This only broadens the gap.

Chapter Twenty-Six

The dance will be very fun to analyze from Mikan’s perspective, but we’re not nearly finished with Natsume’s, so that will have to wait.

For now, we’ll discuss Natsume’s softening, which Permy points out bitterly on account of being surrounded by closet fans. Previously, she says, they were terrified of him, and why wouldn’t they be? We talked ad nauseam about Natsume’s first thirteen chapters of misery and coldness. He was a scary and unkind guy, definitely unapproachable. Even his admirers in Class B were scared of him, equal parts affection and terror. In a very short time, Natsume has softened and it’s obvious. He even dressed as a cat for the somatic musical! His reputation for being cold and dangerous is softening and the girls who used to fear him are now flocking to him to ask if he’s willing to accept their last dance proposals.

But with all this talk about romance and dancing, Mikan feels left out and can’t relate. Her frustrations only grow when some girls start gossiping about her and she ends up taking it out on Natsume, saying she would never ever wanna dance with Natsume for the last dance. He brushes this off, but he still pouts, obviously affected and a little hurt. Their relationship was on the rise, after all. They were starting to hang out more and were bickering often, something Natsume doesn’t make a habit of doing with most people. But just because Natsume is feeling more fondness for her, that doesn't mean she feels the same way.

He expects this in some way, of course, because it's partially his intention. He expects that she would only tolerate him after everything that happened with them, but that doesn't mean he likes the feeling of rejection.

They're so cute when they pout!

Having a crush is bad enough, but hearing that girl shout that she’d never wanna go out with you is even harder, even if you were maybe purposefully making her angry with you to try and protect her. It would be a tough emotion to bear, especially for a kid unversed in romance. He proceeds to be just as huffy as her.

And as twisted as it is, I’m happy for him.

Natsume was cold and mean and difficult to talk to before he fell for Mikan. Now he’s way more approachable and expressive, willing on occasion to show an emotion that isn’t rage, like hurt or grumpiness or amusement. He can now sit at his desk and pout, something he wasn’t doing before, like a kid throwing a fit.

At the actual dance, Natsume is still hurt, still pouting. It doesn’t help that Mikan glares at him upon spotting him. It’s interesting to see how much this affects him. One girl said something harsh in the heat of the moment and he is taking it so personally. Of course, he gets hurt or angered by many things. Upperclassmen bully him and call him a murderer and he simply uses his alice on them to shut them up. He keeps his face straight, moves on, and forgets it. Naturally, the hurt and resentment sit there in his gut to torment him, because he’s a kid and they’re awful things for anyone to hear, but he’s not acting like that here. Here, he’s grumpy and pouty. His feelings are hurt but they don’t come with urges to punish like being called a murderer does.

And it’s obvious he has no genuine hard feelings because Natsume then shoves Ruka onto Mikan, since Ruka was being transparent about his gaze. He goes on to dance with someone else, anyone else, because Mikan made it clear that she too would rather dance with anyone else, just as long as it wasn’t him. He’s clearly still in a bad mood, though.

He's so used to not getting what he wants that he will do all of Ruka's work for him, so that Ruka can get what he wants.

Later, when Mikan and Natsume are singletons in the middle of the dance floor, they notice each other. Here would be a perfect opportunity to dance, but she made it clear she hated the idea, and he’s not about to embarrass himself to ask. Hence, he huffs again, pouting because there’s no way he’ll ask her to dance once she’s said such harsh things. They stand in silence for just a moment, until he finds some other girl to dance with and leaves Mikan all alone.

They’re both grumpy over the way they’re being treated by the other. Natsume is being immature and petty with his feelings, almost childish (heehee it's all I want for him!). With all the dark and depressing divide between Mikan’s academy life of fun and laughs and Natsume’s life of secret missions and physical abuse, he’s somehow found a way to wedge himself into hers. He’s taking something so minor so seriously. He’s been on the front lines, used his alice to hurt enemies and been hurt by enemies and dangerous ability types alike. He is literally dying and he’s aware of it! But he’s still pouting because the girl he likes was a little mean to him.

But the dance with the girl obviously wasn’t much fun, because Mikan quickly finds him again, away from the party, along a secluded path by some trees. He’s in a pouty mood and obviously needs some time alone with his thoughts.

It shows that he’s done some thinking because he doesn’t even mention her angry words from earlier.

Instead, he just calls the whole festival stupid.

We’re reminded here of a scene from way before they liked each other, when the festival was first announced. Then, she also found him playing with a dog, all on his own, using anger to mask his feelings of hurt. He said the same thing back then, that the whole thing was stupid and it was dumb to get all worked up about it. He’s doing it again now, but it’s a little different this time. Their relationship has changed, improved. They actually care about each other now, and although Natsume starts off just talking through his anger, he eventually turns honest.

The truth is that these periods of childishness will always have to end. It’s just an extended version of the dodgeball game. No matter how much emotion he puts into these experiences, they will be overshadowed by his real life. Now matter how much fun he has, he will always have to stop smiling and go kill himself on Persona’s orders. And even more honestly, the more fun he has, the harder it will be on the people he has fun with. It’s not enough for the ESP and Persona that Natsume completes his missions and does all his work; they find pleasure and relief in his constant misery. The second he cares about something, they use it against him. His joy is never meant to last and will always have consequences for the people he loves.

I hate tumblr's 10 image limit. I hate it. I despise it. I abhor it. I cannot come up with a caption. So instead I'll say again. I hate the 10 image limit.

And so he explains, for once, that he’s simply different from everyone else. The festival is something that doesn’t belong to him. He’s merely been an observer this whole time. He’s never actually been a part of it. And then he tells her that she should stay in the light, stay out of the dark. He calls her naive, but it’s not as much an insult as it used to be.

She is childish and loud and optimistic and annoying and a little sweet and even though he hated all these things about her before, he now realizes that these traits are things to be protected. The more she mingles with him, the darker her life will be. After all, her light is not the only thing that’s contagious: his darkness rubs off on people too, and in his mind it will only hurt her to be involved with him. She should stay in the light--in the shiny, sparkly side of the manga, where everyone is concerned with sports and coming up with ideas for the festival--and keep out of the dark--where there’s murder and blackmail and danger and death. It’s bad enough he can’t keep Youichi or Ruka out of it: Youichi is already in the DA class and Ruka came running after him. He can’t distance himself from them. The most he can do is protect them and raise their star ranks or keep them off of dangerous missions. But with Mikan he has a chance to really protect her, prevent her from being used against him at all. Ideally, she’ll stay away and he won’t need to worry about her as much.

And he wants her to be safe and gone, so when she asks what he means, he changes tactics and decides to be rude and mean instead, telling her to get lost and insulting her. She gets angry and it almost seems like it’ll be another bickering match, where they will both be childish and hurl insults at each other, but he doesn’t take that path.

She is complaining about how he doesn’t seem to know that she has a name, thank you very much--and then he calls her Mikan. He concedes to her demands. He does what he perceives to be the mature, adult thing, ending the argument so she will leave for good. When she has nothing left to argue about, she will have no choice but to walk away, and she does, once he makes it clear that his last command is for her to stop complaining about what he calls her.

Natsume chooses to do the selfless thing again, and gives up the first thing in a long time that made him happy. He barely had any time with her at all, but he lets her go, because she can only continue to be sunny and cheerful away from him. He’s giving up before anyone can tell that something was around for him to give up.

He has no idea how much one word has affected her.

Conclusion

Natsume is a selfless kid. He gives up on what he wants very easily, but especially because he knows that the second he gets what he wants, those things could be destroyed, just by association with him. He just wants the people he loves to be happy, even if it means he could never be.

In the next segment, we'll talk about what Natsume is willing to do to protect Mikan, even if it means being cruel and hurting her. NatsuMikan is the living embodiment of the "break her heart to save her" trope, and I very much adore that trope with my whole heart, so we're going to be having a LOT of fun with the next essay!

Also, disclaimer: I'm not smart. I refuse to take responsibility for any mistakes I make in these essays. There also are no mistakes. I've never misspelled a word in my life.

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kaito-is-baby · 3 years

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Shoto Todoroki x Reader

A little bit of help

Okay, hiii~ so... I really don't know what this is, I finished boku no hero and I started to read the manga ASAP and now I just want to give some love to my baby todoroki but this is more like... I was trying to set the ambient for my idea of a Midoriya x "useless" reader scenario but then my love for Shoto took over me and it ended up being about him so... I will write that one someday

Warnings: none, it takes place on season 1 and has no angst. Also gender neutral reader (I think...)

The first class with the great All Might had ended and you felt... stupid.

Every single one of your teammates had incredible abilities at fighting

And there you were, with a sweet gas making them fall asleep, but only if you touched them

It could have been good if they weren't much better, there was no way to touch them.

You couldn't even find the invisible girl

And everytime you tried to approach the half an half haired boy a wall of ice would appear between the two of you

No matter how fast you ran or how hard you tried you felt absolutely useless

Your teammate had to carry you all the fight and you were just a burden for your team, you knew it

You knew you were useless since the very beginning. You had been working with your grandma, recovery girl, in the school nursery this last year and you loved it, don't get me wrong

But seeing all those brave kids getting into fights to save the world, thinking about yourself saving people that way... yeah, grandma had told you lots of times that your quirk did also save people but you weren't her, your quirk wasn't really useful at healing either. Yes you could put on a sweet dream someone who was in pain and that same fluid that made them dream could heal them but it couldn't save a life, maybe an arm but not a life

You wanted to go to the battle and rescue the civilians, you wanted to calm them and cure them when they needed it the most

So you decided to take the joining exam for the UA

You still couldn't understand how you made it through, you wanted to believe that even if your gas did not affect the artificial villains your strength sure did but it was... quite difficult to believe

And your only answer was that your cute little grandma had convinced then to let you join

Of course she claims they let you in because how you threw yourself to heal every single one of the soon to be heroes on the field even altough they were your rivals

But what they wanted was for you to beat the villains not to have a great teamwork and a sweet heart oh baby you should listen to your grandma

You tried to shake that thought of your brain and enjoy your very first day as an student on the UA

You failed

"Let's use our quirks to make our phisical abilities greater" yeah, that didn't work out

Luckily for you that thing about expelling the worst calificated was a lie because you were sure that either Midoriya or you were going back home forever that day

'Things can go better tomorrow' you think but yet again you fail in your prediction

After the disastrous fight on All Might's class you had obviously stated to all of your classmates and teachers that you were, in fact, useless

But then again, you already knew you were useless and yet chose to try and become a hero

And your mind could have thought of something better, maybe ask Aizawa for some help or a nicer classmate

But your feet moved towards Todoroki

If you try to give it a rational explanation you can actually find it. He was, alongside with Bakugo, the strongest one of the class and, being honest, you were not brave enough to get even near that angry boy

So yeah... you could say you chose to speak to him because he was the best prepared but deep inside you, you knew well it was the 15 years old teenage that you, even if you deny to accept, actually were. A handsome tall boy who fitted quite well on your type, and to be honest, everyone's, had fight against you, being pretty close, trying to touch any part of his body, avoiding his attacks and trying to prevent what he was going to do... maybe it had made you develope a little crush, but it was for sure little!

So you took the opportunity when you had it right in front your eyes

He approached you just after your fight

"I hitted you with that last wall of ice right?"

Yes, yes he did, you weren't fast enought to avoid the hit but you were stubborn enough to be too close to him even although you knew he would make an ice panel

Maybe in a desperate intent, you tried to make him step back and don't throw his attack at you directly

That failed

And now you had a little hurting mark on your right leg and your right arm

But you weren't angry, you both did what you had to do to get good grades, this was a friendly competition after all

"Yes but-"

"I'm sorry I may have been too tough for a first class fight" you could tell by his face this wasn't the apologies of someone who is genuinely sorry but of someone who knows it's polite to apologise after it

"it's nothing, really, you were fighting for that 10 and so was I, it's cool"

He nodded and turned his back

"Wait! Todoroki... could I ask you... a favour? Please" your checks- No! Your whole face- was turning red now, you were not good at asking for help and even less to someone you barely knew

"Hm?" He nodded again, giving you permission to request that favour

"I'm so weak, I just can't fight, I can't fight like you or Bakugo or even Iida or Uraraka I just... I can't, I can't do anything but to heal and stay still watching how everyone loses" he kept looking straight to your eyes, truth be said, he hadn't took his eyes out of yours since you started talking but now he looked confused and even kinda angry at your statements

"And so what?" Did he took you for an idiot? He surely talked to you like if you were a 6 years old kid

"That I want to be a hero" his eyebrowns bent "and I need help, I... no one has ever really taught me how to fight, no one saw any potential for that on me and... maybe if you could... give me some basic knowledge? I could at least avoid getting hit"

Silent

Absolute silent

You only heard one thing, your heart bumping at an scarily fast race and your

Not only it was beating, your stomach ached, your skin burned and you felt stupid for asking for help so you opened your mouth to retract your words and admit that it was an stupid idea

"I don't train anyone, I have my reasons, I won't train you or teach anything"

And with that he left you, even more disappointed than before

Of course that night you could only think about leaving the heroes course

But after thinking about it you chose to keep fighting

And from that day on, you would train everyday, without any exception.

It didn't mattered that your classmates would though you were a weirdo, you kept imitating every single thing they did.

You stopped attending those classes that were not about fighting, you did not needed them as much as you needed free time on the special playground that the UA had, there you could train much better than on your small room

And one day, while your classmates were eating- something that you hadn't done since the day you started using every second on the UA for training- your body failed you, it needed a break and you wouldn't accept it so it just failed to get some rest.

You weren't able to keep your breathing and your legs weren't going to obey you anymore

So you just... felt

And without having any real strength to stand back you stood there, surrendering

You had been weeks working with no hesitation and yet you hadn't improved in the slightest

You were giving up when Todoroki tended you his hand to lift you up

"I did not want to train you because I really don't want you to get hurt by my training or to feel that I am pressing you too much" you weren't really following him "but if you are going to do that to yourself all alone then it will be better if I help you so you can, at least, improve"

Was he agreeing to train you?

"But first, go eat, second attend all your classes and then we will train"

"Yes!" You answered, ready to become a real hero

#boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero x reader #boku no hero academia #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #bnha insert #bnha headcanons #bnha todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto x you #boku no hero imagines

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shiroganeryo · 3 years

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D.Gray-Man Tag 2!

I got tagged by my friend Violet (@14thexorcist) again to hop into the part two of this little game she made, and there are few things I love more than babbling about DGM, so let’s go!

The rules are to tag 4 people but, since I'm late to do this, I won't tag anyone this time. However, if you see it and want to do it, feel tagged by me! Here's the blank post.

⭐ What’s your favorite manga page/panel? That's quite the hard pick, every chapter and arc have something of amazing and remarkable in them. There are many moments I love hence many favorites on this matter, but thinking of what moves my heart, I can easily pick two pages without having to think twice.

From The 225th Night: Visiting A.W. - CALL 2.

This moment made me very happy; it was the first time we saw Allen smiling in a long while. I personally love the interaction he has with Johnny in this; it's full of warmth and relief. Seeing Johnny hug him so fondly like this as he smiles makes me smile. The visuals are beautiful as well, as expected from Hoshino-sensei's artwork.

From The 230th Night: Saying Goodbye to A.W: Torchlight and Tearstains

I love everything about this page and its middle panel. The parallel between current Allen and dog Allen is perfectly set as a mirror image; the two of them are looking at each other, and both their right hand and paw are on top of the grave. In my opinion, this is where Hoshino's genius shows. She's great at giving us meaningful representations with simplicity and subtlety.

⭐ What’s your favorite chapter? I can remember at least one thing I love in every chapter, so let's narrow down the options! Currently, my favorite one is The 226th Night: Searching for A.W. - Live Man + Dead Man. Being honest, I love the whole A.W arc. We get a lot of insight on Allen and witness his growth (emotionally); I also love the part Johnny, Kanda and Link are playing in here. We also get hints towards the truth about Nea.

But this chapter in specific has some of my favorite lines as soon as it starts. Quoting the official english translation: "I can return from that beautiful place, so like heaven... taking the only path there is.

The voice that calls me... It connects me to this world. It is a bond... and a summons.

That... is 'Home'!"

We begin with such a strong and meaningful message and metaphor about the bonds that keep us around, that tie us to the ones we love. The message is clear and powerful, it literally gives me chills. And then, the next thing we see is Allen realizing he's back from Nea's conscience's world and showing, for a second, his ultimate relief in being back. This moment is so rewarding to me, and extremely important to his development. We all love Allen for how human he is, and seeing how afraid he was, it becomes ten times more rewarding. His weaknesses make him palpable and strongly moves our heart; we take in the moment as if it happened to us, as if we were back to a loved one's arms after being lost and alone for so long ourselves. I also love Tiedoll's participation in this chapter! The scene on which the Maker of Eden forms the wagon underneath Allen and Johnny is amazingly drawn!

⭐ Do you have a favorite volume? Without a doubt, it's Volume 3. The Rewinding City arc is still one of my favorites, it hadn't been mentioned yet only because it can't compete with the feelings and plot lore overload we get from the latest chapters hahah. But this arc was the first that made me feel that tingly, warm feeling in my heart. I loved Miranda on the spot and I could see myself on her. It made me so happy to see her finally getting her "thanks", the realization of that moment sank in as hard for me as it did for her. So this spot goes on to the volume that introduced Miranda and her arc!

⭐ Do you like Mana or Nea more? That's hard to answer, as I'm rather lukewarm about both. I'd say I like Nea more because what we see from him is what he has always been; while Mana, on the other hand, has many facets.

We have Mana from when he was younger, Mana from when he was travelling with Allen, and the current Mana that is the Millennium Earl. I do love the Mana Allen met, that I can say for sure! But I'm still waiting to see how he was when younger, if he was any different or not, to decide how I feel about him "as a whole".

So, for the time being, I'm picking Nea. He is fun to see going about, I gotta be honest; it would be nice if he didn't need Allen to be erased to do so, though.

⭐ What’s one thing that you like and dislike about Hallow? If I can be so bold, I'll start saying that what I dislike the most about Hallow is how much slander it gets from the fandom LOL

By all means I understand it delivered a subpar quality, but I don't think it's as terrible as everyone makes it seem. The OG 2006 anime also had a lot of flaws, ranging from adaptation issues (the novels, Lenalee existing in random places, Cross being uncharacterized, Allen being dumbed up for appeal) to small animation choices that were a little poor.

I also agree that Hallow's pacing was rushed, however, it's still not fair comparing both adaptations when one of them had 103 episodes and the other had only 13. It's alright to appreciate both, acknowledge the hard work put into them and I wish people realized that more often.

With that out of the way, I'd say that's basically what I dislike about it. I do have criticism on the animation and things like this, but none of that made me enjoy Hallow less; the things it proposed to cover, like the Artificial Exorcists arc and the Seed of Destruction arc were amazingly done in my opinion. Even if the animation got a little wack in several moments. I do agree it's sad that we didn't get a Zombie arc adaptation, but starting on that note would be... weird, to say the less. So while I regret it, I understand the decision.

Now on to what I like the most about it: I'd say it's the new color palette. Some people say it's too bright, and I totally get it, as I can't bear too much brightness myself! But the new colors are more appealing to me, and as much as I love the OG 2006 anime, at times I thought the colors were too dark/blurry, it was a little hard to see.

Still on that note, I love how Allen is looking in Hallow. Crown Clown now has a glowing effect to it, and it looks awesome in dark scenes! I also love how they didn't make Allen's hair extremely white, but a more natural tone. His white eyelashes are also really pretty.

⭐ What’s your favorite piece of DGM merch? These keychains!

Just look at how cute they are! There are many pieces of merch I like, especially if we take into account the art books, but the bocchi-kun keychains make me want to get them all!

⭐ Follow up question: what’s a piece of merch that you wish existed? I'd love it if we had figures of most of the characters. We got figures for Hallow and they're awesome, but I'd love a figure of Miranda, for example. There was no Lenalee figure as well, and even if I didn't get one of her for myself, I bet it would look awesome!

As always, this got super long, but if you read until here, I wish you have an awesome day! Thank you for reading on 💞

#dgm #d.gray-man #d.gray man #long text #tag #as always read more added not to clog your dashboards!#I hope you like reading as much as I liked writing

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