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#you’re everything I love about the things I hate in me
ddeonuism · 2 days ago
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DEUCE! — set 10: “ YOU ARE EVIL.”
word count: 0.8K (more texts after!)
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You have never felt more taunted in your life until this very moment and the fact that it’s Jay’s caller I.D causing you this much distress has left you wondering where everything went wrong in your life.
You could just not answer it… then again, you’d probably have to do some groveling and something else that could destroy your dignity. You had already pushed away your pride to ask help from the one person you despised the most, so maybe that wasn’t the way to go.
Especially when you desperately want to attend the stupid training camp where you could meet other players who could be just as good as you and learn from them. You know you’re good at what you do, but it doesn’t hurt to be even better and fuck if you’re going to miss out on the opportunity.
So with a groan, you tap the green answer button and lift your phone towards your ear as you let out a tentative, “hello?”
“Hey.” Jay’s voice on the other line sounded thick with sleep, you notice. You’d expect someone who plays the same sport as you would be up and running, but to each their own. “Took you long enough.”
“I only took 15 seconds to debate whether answering your call would be worth sacrificing my pride.” You grumble, flopping back onto the plush surface of your bed. “I’m already seeing signs that it isn’t.”
You hear him chuckle on his end, followed by the rustling of his sheets as he clears his throat, “is that right?”
“Mhm.”
“C’mon, Y/N. You of all people know I’d make it worth your while. I never go back on my word.”
As much as you hate to admit it, he’s right. He may be an asshole but he was an asshole who knows how to keep a promise.
“So If I tell you—verbally—that I need your help, you’ll help me?”
“That’s one, yeah. But I also have another condition.”
You snort, “aren’t you being a little too greedy, Park? I asked you for one thing and you want two in return? Seems a little unfair, don’t you think?”
“Well, what do you want in return?”
You hum, contemplating the question because if it was anything material, he’s capable of giving you whatever it was that you wanted, no questions asked. Then again, you weren’t that much of a materialistic person so maybe you could just hold onto that until you think of something you really want.
“You know what? I don’t really have anything in mind right now, could we rain check on it?”
“Mhm, sure.” It was suspicious at how he wasn’t poking fun at you right at this very moment. You were aware of how much of a menace you had been to him, so not hearing any scathing remarks from your so-called arch-nemesis was very odd. “Let’s hear it then.”
You scowl, turning onto your side to glare at yourself in the full-body mirror, “do I have to?”
He barks out a laugh which had you rolling your eyes immediately, knowing he was not going to live this down. The mighty Jeon Y/N? Begging for her rival’s help? You were practically handing over your dignity to him on a silver platter!
“I asked you to answer my call and you did, so I’m expecting you to say ‘Jay, I really need your help, please.’” He does a piss-poor impression of your voice and he should be lucky that he wasn’t in your presence or you would have had him in a chokehold right about now.
“That’s not what I sound like!”
“Does it matter? And I know you’re stalling, Y/N.” Jay sighs. “You better hurry up or we’ll both be late to first period.”
So what? Maybe you do want to be late, as long as you don’t have to say ‘please’ and waste Jay’s time while you’re at it. It’s a known fact that it pisses him off when one does and you can tell you’re already testing his patience when you hear him click his tongue.
“Don’t make me count, Y/N.”
“Please as if you can scare me with numbers.”
“One.”
“Wait—”
“Two.”
“Now hold on—”
“Two and a half—”
"Just what—"
"Two and three quarters—"
“For the love of God please help me pass next week’s quiz, Jay!” You end up yelling from panic and you hate how desperate you sounded after being pressured like that, especially when Jay was absolutely losing it on his end as you winced at the raucous laughter.
“Ah…” He lets out a few strings of giggles after that, furthering your annoyance and embarrassment. “Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?”
You click your tongue, “asshole.”
“Brat.”
You could hear the smirk in his voice and before you could hear whatever else he had to say, you hung up on him to grab a pillow and scream all your frustrations into it.
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masterlist
summary: one may ask, what would happen if you put a prodigy and a hard worker in one room? Absolute chaos. Jay and Y/N absolutely hated each other’s guts. Having been rivals from middle school until present, it’s a cruel twist of fate that they ended up going to the same university years later. To make matters even worse, both have been selected as captains for the men’s and women’s volleyball team respectively.
The coaches, the managers—hell, both teams knew they had to put an end to this ridiculous beef as they were slowly tarnishing the esteemed reputation of both teams, but the question is: how?
taglist [CLOSED]: @13isacoolnumber @shine-your-light @viscoolreal @enhypenisnotforsale @youreverydayzebra @envirae @ac-ewow @ferxanda @yut0s @luvelyxp @cha-raena @jannine00742 @lumixen @w3bqrl @yourstruely @hobistigma @heejojo @fiantomartell @dear-dreamie @atinyyylove @yeonjunsleftboob @jungwon-luv-bot-returns @wccycc @acciomylove @cheonsacheol @yenart @demonizyagurl @heuningkai-hour @jaybestboy @sbnchaos @softforqiankun @nikieskoo @yangw0nnie @enhappenstance @enhacolor @goldenxddeonu @icywhatim @chrispy-ass-baldhead @bangtopia @yougeans @yjwfav @nationsboygroup @shinramyeonz @ryu-naa @starlightjakey @jakeytiddy @gyuza @notmangojuice @shrutiajit @hwallswrld [Batch 1]
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bethanygrace19 · a day ago
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Things the haikyuu boys’ would tell after you’ve slept
ft. Suna Rintarou, Iwaizumi Hajime, Matsukawa Issei
-Suna Rintarou It was a Friday night. A night where everybody clashes on their bed, thinking about all the events occurred that week. Some people go out, some stay in, and then there’s you and Suna. Who’s all wrapped up in tangled sheets, a tv show muffled in the background, the soft color of the LEDs adding a bit more effect to the comfortable atmosphere.
You were tired, worn out even. This week hasn’t really been the best for you and Suna could tell. You may not notice it but Suna has always kept an eye on you. He knows you better than you know yourself. And he knew that right now, you needed to rest. So all he had to do, was pull you into his chest by your waist and you were out cold. Small snores adding to the already comfortable silence.
He started running his fingers through your hair, eyes still fixated on the tv.
“You know y/n, I’ve always been so envious of you ? You may not see it but the world does. I do. The amount of hard work and effort you put in everything you do, is something I wish I did. You will tell me to shut up if you were awake right now but it’s the truth baby. You really are the iron man in the relationship. When I fell in love with you, you brought a side of me I didn’t even know existed. A side I thought I will never get to experience, that is until I met you. You taught me how to love, how to find love in the simplest of the things, to appreciate even the littlest of the things. Rain meant nothing but sadness to me but you said that there’s more to it. You taught me how to find happiness even in those darkest of days. If I know what love is, it’s because of you baby. And I’m grateful, for having you, for getting to call you mine. I’m not the best in words but I’m trying. I love you so much, it scares me. I’m scared that you might get bored of me and leave me. If you do, I won’t be able to handle it well baby. I’m way too obsessed with you. Weird right ? But I just want you to know, I love you y/n, very much, and I’ll keep loving you”, he said, kissing your temple,and slowly drifting off to sleep.
-Iwaizumi Hajime Honestly speaking, Iwa didn’t believe in love at first sight. Hell, he didn’t even believe in love. So it was a shock to everyone, because of how head over heels he was for you.
He didn’t know how to love, what to do or where to begin but he tried. For you.
But you taught him, taught him the meaning of love and he’s grateful he got to experience such a beautiful phase of life and that too, with you.
So it was no surprise, finding him talking to your sleeping figure on a normal Friday afternoon. Practice got cancelled due to the heavy rainstorm so you both decided to stay in and take a nap. Well, at least you did.
“You know baby, how I used to the hate rain ? Cause every time it rained, coach called in and cancelled the practice. But now, it’s hard to hate it. I enjoy it now and….it’s beautiful. So thank you for opening my eyes babe. But you know what’s more beautiful ? You. *scoffs* They said love will make you do crazy things and it’s even more crazier that I’d do anything for you. When you said you liked me, for me, I felt like I won in life. This is the first time, I’ve been recognized by my true self. Or even chosen over my best friend. Don’t get me wrong though, Oikawa is amazing, but when you said you liked me and not him, I felt alive, like I was actually important to someone. So thank you y/n, for giving me a chance and for loving me. I know I’m a bit hard headed sometimes, but that doesn’t make me love you any less. I hope you know that. Anyways, sleep well princess, I’ll have lunch ready for you when you’re awake”, he said, placing a small kiss on your cheek and heading towards the kitchen.
-Matsukawa Issei School ended, sky turning shades of orange, indicating that’s it evening of a normal autumn day. You and Issei were walking together hand in hand to the station to catch a train back home. Both of you tired from the days work. Few minutes of standing in the waiting room and your train arrived. You entered in first and took a seat next to the window, leaving Issei to sit on the edge. You leaned on the window, eyes slowing closing and before you know it, you’re fast asleep. He notices this and puts your head on his shoulder.
“You know something Y/N ? I always, and I mean always, wondered why you would choose someone like me ? And I know you’ll disagree to this but it’s the truth you know ? There’s Oikawa and Iwaizumi and yet you chose ME! I don’t get it. Sometimes I feel like you could do better, cause there are so many options available for you. Don’t get me wrong though baby, I love you, god I love you so much but…..there are days where I feel like you’ll get tired of me and…..leave me. And I don’t want to experience such a day in my life. So that’s why I’ll do my best! Do whatever it takes to make you happy. You don’t ask for much, always putting others before yourself and that’s one of the reasons why I’m head over heels for you. *laughs* Everybody on the team says I’m a simp, and they’re not wrong. And this simp is madly in love with you……mate I hope you’re sleeping or else we’re gonna have a problem…..” he finishes, a tint of red dusting his face.
Sighing, he rests his head on yours, just looking out the window when, “AND CUT! That’s was so good bro! I didn’t know you could get all sappy!”, Makki said. Issei’s eyes widens in horror. “WHA- WAIT! MAKKI ? WHAT’RE YOU DOING HERE !?”, he asks, face even more red. “Shhhhh! You’re gonna wake y/n up! And dumbass…..did you forget, we go home in the same bus, EVERYDAY!”, Makki says, rolling his eyes. “Right….listen…did you, uhm, you know-“ “Did I record your sappy speech ? HELL YEAH! YOU BET I DID! I’M SHOWING THIS TO THE WHOLE TEAM!”, Makki says, laughing out. Knowing it’s too late, Issei just slumps back into his seat, glancing your way to make sure you were still asleep and you were, small snores escaping your lips, making him smile.
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oldblackandwhitetown · 3 hours ago
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𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟏: 𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐱 | GEORGE
Pairing: sex worker!george x fem!reader
Warnings: NSFW +18 ONLY, minors dni. Phone sex, dirty talk, sir kink, slight daddy kink, masturbation, a shit ton of pet names, not proofread, lmk if I’m missing something :)
A/N: hopefully this one is not gonna get stolen :D. Also, idk how hotlines work, but I tried my best with this one, I hope you like it<3
I DO NOT ALLOW NOR GIVE PERMISSION TO REPOST, TRANSLATE OR COPY MY FICS. DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES.
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You stayed still listening to the ring of the other line, waiting for someone to pick up and entertain you with their voice. What exactly are you doing on a lonely Friday night, you might ask; Well the answer was easy, calling a hotline to help you get through your horny hours.
This was not exactly your ideal plan to spend the night but after a lot time thinking about it, you couldn’t shake the idea that it might be fun. So gathering all the confidence and courage in you, you called the number one of your friends sent you, and with the help of a manager you found the perfect person to spend your night listening to. His name was George, at least that’s what the manager said, he was two years older than you and was certified to make you have a good time.
After a few more minutes you could hear a faint breath on the other line, and before you could comprehend what was happening, a raspy voice said “Hello.” He greeted you.
“Uh, hi...” your voice slightly trembling.
You were suddenly getting nervous, maybe because deep down you didn’t know why you were doing. An urgent need to hang up and toss your phone far away was creeping up your body, but was quickly stopped when the voice called for you again.
“How are you doing tonight, doll?” Doll, the nickname made a tingling sensation sit in the pit of your stomach.
You were not used to people calling you any sort of pet names, to the point that you actually thought you hated it, but George was proving you wrong. In fact you wanted to hear him say it again.
“Um, I’m doing pretty good, just chilling.” You mentally slapped your face, what a stupid response was that. “What about you?”
“Oh I’m way better now that I’m talking with you.” It was so damn smooth yet you couldn’t help but rolled your eyes.
It was a common phrase any boy would use to make the other person feel special, when in reality they said it to 10 people before.
“Do you say that to all your clients?” George could hear the teasing in your voice, yet he felt the urge to assure you it was just you.
“Honestly no, maybe is your voice that is making me say it, doll.”
You giggled, feeling like a teenager that is flirting with her crush once again. Nonetheless you composed yourself, knowing this was not the time to act like that.
“So you called for me to take care of you, isn’t that right?” You hummed. “Well, I want to know a few things about you first. Tell me love, what’s your name?”
“Y/n” you simply said, waiting for his next question.
“How old are you? I now you’re of age otherwise we wouldn’t be talking right now, but i still wanna know.” His mellow voice resounding in the darkness of your room.
“I’m 22, you’re 24 right? That’s what your manager said.” You heard him hummed, confirming you his age. “That’s great.”
A low chuckle sounding in the distance, making your heart beat faster.
“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” You could hear his smile through the phone, your cheeks heating up by the embarrassment of being so obvious.
“Ye-Yeah, it’s my first time calling and doing something like this, sorry.” You let out a sweet giggle.
“You have nothing to worry about, love. I’m here to take care of you...” clearing his throat, George got in a more comfortable position, deciding to finally start what you called for. “Alright, before we start do you any question or an specific thing you want me to do?”
You pondered his question, thinking about everything and anything, but your brain could only think of one thing.
“Would you... um, call me good girl, please?” A heavy breathing passing your lips after letting out your request.
“Of course, as long as you’re good for me, I’m gonna call you anything you want.” That made you smiled, “anything else? Want to stablish a safe word for when you need to stop?”
You hummed, remembering the word you would use with your previous partners.
“I usually say bird when I need to stop.” You shyly said.
“That’s perfect, doll. The moment you said that I’ll stop everything, no hesitation. I won’t get mad if at some point you want to stop, I understand this is your first time.” His soft voice was making you feel so comfortable with the whole situation and you loved it. “Now that we have that out of the way, are you ready to start?” You answered with a faint yes. “Are you alone right now, baby?”
“Yes, I’m in my room, laying on my bed.” Your eyes were scanning the four walls of your bedroom while responding to George. “It’s really lonely here.”
“Would you like me to be with you sweetheart?” You hummed again, playing with the hem of your shirt. “What would you do if I was there?”
“I would get on my knees for you, sir.” The name came out so naturally, surprising both yourself and George.
“I bet you would look so beautiful on your knees, sucking my cock with your pretty mouth.” He said with a raspy voice.
You had to close your legs, rubbing your thighs to creat some friction, almost whimpering.
“What are you wearing now, sugar?”
“A t-shirt and some panties, no bra.” You whispered, trying to sound seductive.
A groan resounding through your phone, making you clench.
“Take off your shirt and play with your tits.” He ordered, your hands flying down to did as he told you.
You had to put him on speaker while taking your shirt off and laying in bed once again. Your free hand cupping one of your tits and pinching your nipple. A soft moan falling off your mouth.
“Tell me how that feels, love.”
It took you a few seconds to find your voice to speak.
“It feels so good, sir.” You moaned, feeling your core getting wet. “I-I’m wet, sir, can I do something about it, please?”
His hummed was like music to your ears, his raspy voice answering seconds after.
“Does my baby want to play with her sweet cunt?”
“Yes, please!” You practically cried out.
“Go ahead and do it, put a finger in your wet pussy.”
With that being said you slided your hand through your underwear, pushing in a single finger like George instructed you. It felt really great but it wasn’t enough to satisfy your hunger, you needed to feel more.
“Can-Can I rub my clit, please sir?” You breathed out.
“My babygirl is so polite hm? Of course you can rub your clit, make yourself feel good.”
The way he was talking to you got you in such a state that the moment you touched your clit you knew it wouldn’t take you long to cum. Your elaborated breathing mixed with your sweet moans was like George’s favorite song, he could feel his boner growing in his briefs, but tonight it wasn’t about him but you. His full attention needed to be on you.
“Does it feel good, darling?”
“Mhm...” you hummed, not able to form a sentence.
“Aw, you can’t even talk, I bet you’re getting closer.” He mocked you, “but you have to ask for permission, you’re gonna he my good girl as me to come, aren’t you?”
“Yes, yes sir, please! Can I come? I need it so bad.” You whined our, desperate to reach your high.
“Not yet, baby. I wanna see how long you can hold it.”
You almost let a tear run down your face when you heard what he said. He was torturing you, but you loved it. You loved that he was in control of you, every single part of your body obeying him and only him.
Your moans were echoing through the walls of your dark room, your chest coming up and down with every deep breath you take, both of your hands moving fast; clit being abused by your skilled fingers while your whole was taking the other one.
“Add another finger, love. Stretch yourself nice for me.”
And so you did, adding a second finger in your entrance and crying out at the feeling. Your legs were parting away wider, to feel the whole length of your fingers rub your walls and stimulate you. That sweet burn in your stomach forming, your orgasm approaching, making you lore desperate and eager to get your release.
“Please, I need to cum, sir. Let me cum, please I can’t hold it anymore.”
George loved the way you were begging for him, being a moaning mess just for him and his words. If there was something he would always pride himself on was the way that he could make anyone cum just by hearing his voice.
“Go on baby, be a good girl and come for me.”
You didn’t need to be told twice, the moment he gave you the green light to come you were screaming from the top of your lungs his name, chanting it like a prayer. Legs trembling with the aftershocks of your orgasm, both of your hands coated in your slik and sheets completely ruined.
It took you a fair minute to calm down and get back into reality, you could barely hear George guiding you through your high, whispering encouraging words and praises.
“You did so good for me baby, such a good girl coming for daddy.” You moaned at the sound of his voice. “Are you okay, love?”
You could only hummed, your mouth was feeling dry and the words just wouldn’t come out of it.
“Go get a tissue to clean you up and some water, I’ll wait for you.”
Slowly but surely you made your way out of the bed, searching for your bottle of water on your desk and a cold piece of cloth in your bathroom. Once you had both things in your hands you came back to bed, laying down and doing as he said, cleaning yourself up and taking some sips of water.
“Are you better now, princess?” He asked again, waiting patiently.
“Yes... thank you so much for that.” You whispered, voice still weak.
“My pleasure, doll. I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Once again you could sense his smile through the phone, which made yourself smile. “I’m gonna go now so you can rest, okay? Please take care of yourself, I’ll be waiting for your next call.”
And with that you were left alone in your room, reminiscing on the last hour. You will be definitely calling again.
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m-jelly · a day ago
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Levi’s language of love.
So, we all know Levi struggles with his words, but he is a very emotional guy. Levi’s lost so much in his life, that he just locks everything up inside himself and won’t let it go. If he was in love with someone, it’d be very hard for him to let his emotions out and let you know how he heels. Levi’s the type to show his love through actions instead of words, but over time he would talk more and be rather flustered when he did. He’d yank you close for cuddles without even asking. He’d use your lap as a pillow while you’re sat relaxing. He’d steal a kiss when you’re talking or not doing much. He’d hold you from behind as you do things too. He’d also give you random gifts.
Levi sat at home just waiting for you to come back through the front door. He was jittery and a little flustered. He wasn’t sure what you were going to say to him. He kept thinking about his gift choice, if it was good enough, if it was the right colour, if it was the right size and shape. He was so concerned and worried, that he didn’t even realise you’d come home until your keys dropped on the side. 
He looked over at you as you took your jacket off and talked to him about some idiot at the shop. He could see you were a little frustrated, you even mocked the woman and called her a Karen. He held back a smile as best he could, but it was hard for him to do so. He thought you were so beautiful, sweet and funny. He adored you with every fibre of his being. He knew he didn’t say much, but watching you and listening to you was truly wonderful. Hange talking drove him up the wall, but you talking was like sweet music.
He accepted a perfectly made cup of tea from you, which was another thing he loved about you was how you could always make the best tea. He watched you sit next to him and wished you’d give him a cuddle or a hug, maybe a kiss. He wanted more of your attention, but you weren’t giving it to him.
He looked away from you with a little blush. “Tch, damn brat.”
You frowned at his words. “Was it something I said or did?” 
Levi glanced at you and saw you had such a sweet and innocent look on your face, like you really had no clue. He didn’t want to upset you. He’d seen you cry before, not because of him of course, but becuase of something and someone else. Levi hated seeing you cry, because it crushed him to see you in pain.
He shook his head. “No.”
You smiled and kissed his cheek making him blush. “Good, I’m glad. A grumpy Levi makes me a very sad girlfriend.” You kissed his cheek a few more times, then put your drink down. You curled up next to him and hugged his arm. “Let me guess, you were annoyed that I didn’t give you a hug and a kiss right away?”
He liked that you could read him easily, because it meant he could relax a little and feel like he was heard. “Yes.”
You held his chin and turned his head making his excitement increase. You kissed him and smiled. “You’re adorable sometimes.” 
He clenched his jaw as he thought about all the things he wanted to say to you. He wanted to tell you so much, but it was hard. He gently cupped the side of your face and gazed at you, then he pulled you close slowly and kissed you. He was sweet at first, but then he followed his instincts and love for you and deepened it. He hummed in happiness at how tasted like tea, how your were so warm, how you let him take control so he could show you his love. 
He pulled back, then got up and walked over to your gift on the dining room table. He stormed back over to you as you sat there smiling so happily at him. He shoved the gift into your hands, then sat next to you and grabbed his tea. “Open it, you little brat.” He watched you with keen eyes as you unwrapped, then stared at a box. “Don’t act like you can’t shit. Open.”
“Sorry.” You opened the little box to see a green stone pendant on a delicate silver chain. “Levi...”
“Tch, it’s stupid.” He reached for it, but you pulled it away. “Give it back brat! I knew it was a bad choice.”
“Levi, it’s not a bad choice or stupid. I love it.”
He sighed and knew you meant it, but he was still a little worried it wasn’t good enough. He didn’t think anything was good enough for you, because you were wonderful to him. He loved you and he wanted what was best for you. 
You held the necklace up. “Can you put it on me?”
He nodded and waited for you to turn your back to him. He placed it on you, then waited for you to turn back around. He watched you smile and play with the pendant and praise it and him. You gave him kisses making him beyond happy. He adored you so much. You were his reason for living, for smiling, for laughing for being human. You made his nightmares and insomnia go away. You made his pain disappear. You made him feel like he deserved to be loved.
Levi called your name making you look at him. “I love you. I love you so very much, you beautiful and wonderful brat.” He smiled a little at you, then watched you well up and throw yourself at him for a loving embrace. He rubbed your back and smiled more when you told him you loved him too. You told him all the time you loved him and he loved it, so he had to tell you now and then just how much he loved you because sometimes a gift wasn’t enough.
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imaginesforhotguys · a day ago
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Imagine...
It’s Complicated
Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word Count:1365
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~STEVE’S POV~
“You can’t be here.” Bucky says.
The door handle jingles with life in the other room before the door opens and shuts again.
“Bucky are you here? Look at the newspaper. That looks just like you Bucky. What the hell does- oh umm hello.”
Shit. Things just got a little more complicated.
(Y/n) POV
Meeting Bucky was never part of the plan. You went to Romania on business. The company you worked for was opening a new branch and they wanted you there for 6 months to get everything ready and make sure the first few months went smoothly. You were excited for your new adventure in life and the best part was that if you hated it, it was only 6 months and you would be back in the states. Well that’s what you thought anyways.
You have been in Bucharest, Romania for a year now and that is all because of Bucky Barnes. You met Bucky the first time at a food stand outside your apartment. It sounds cliche but you both reached for plums and when your hands touched you felt a spark and you hoped that he did too. This by chance meeting led to grabbing coffee, then a date, and then another date. After a month it seemed like when you were not at work you were with Bucky. About two months into your relationship you asked Bucky to stay the night at your apartment. Whenever the two of you would get together at your house he found some excuse to not stay the night. It was something different every time but you never pushed him. This night however was different. The two of you were on the couch and things were getting hot. You reached down to pull his shirt up when Bucky pulled away quickly.
“Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable,” you say, embarrassed that you tried something he didn’t like. The two of you had never actually slept together before and the hot makeout sessions never led anywhere. You had actually never even seen him without gloves on. He said it was poor circulation and you never asked him more about it but you have always longed to feel his skin touch yours when walking through the park
Bucky stands and grabs his coat. “No you didn’t make me uncomfortable. I just realized how late it was and I need to get home.” He gives you a small kiss and makes his way for the door. Before you know what you are doing, you’re on your feet chasing after him. “Bucky wait!” you yell before your front door can close. “Why don’t you just stay here. I want you to stay, please.” He sighs and makes his way back to your doorway and plants a longing kiss to your lips. “I’ll stay but I need to tell you somethings and if you don’t like what I it is  I’ll go and you will never have to see me again.” You nod your head and he makes his way back inside.
The two of you sit back on your couch and he tells you everything. How he was born in 1917, and why he was still around today. At one point he slowly took off his glove and then his jacket and shirt to show you his arm. All you could do was run your fingers down the cool metal. You could tell Bucky was nervous with every word that came out of his mouth. He was nervous to lose you. He was afraid that you would now see him as a monster and not the man you met at the stand on the corner. “Well I think that’s everything,” He says, running both his hands through his hair. He grabs your hand and holds it tightly and looks deep into your eyes. “Do you still want me to stay (Y/n)/” You lean over and place a gentle kiss on his lips which he reciprocates. “Of course I do.”
The two of you now lived together and everything was perfect. You decided to take a job at the new branch to stay with Bucky and start a life here in Bucharest. You went out for groceries this morning thinking that today would be like any other day but boy were you wrong. While heading to the salon to get your hair done,  you stopped to grab a paper and one of those tabloid magazines. You loved to read all the scandalous celebrity stories and you made Bucky take the quizzes in the back even though he hated it. You reach down for the paper and say Bucky. Yes Bucky your boyfriend on the front page for a bombing at the UN in Vienna. This doesn’t make any sense. Bucky has been with you everyday. There is no way he went to Vienna and committed a terrorist attack and you just missed it. You had to get home and fast. You turned back and sprinted towards your house.
You get to the apartment building and run for the stairs. Sprinting up them 2 at a time you reach the door and shove the key into lock. “Bucky, are you here? Look at the newspaper. That looks just like you Bucky. What the hell does- oh umm hello.”
“Hi. Who are you?” the man you know as Captain America says.
“I’m (Y/n) and you’re Captain America.” You turn to see Bucky in the corner of the apartment, eyes darting between you and his best friend. He makes he way towards you and grabs you in his arms. “Are you ok? Were you followed here?”
“What no...I mean I don’t think I was. Is this about the paper Bucky? Because I know you didn’t do this. I’m with you everyday there is no way you did this.”
“The problem is that there are alot of people that think he did this and they are on the way here to get him. We have to leave now.”
Your worried eyes meet Bucky’s and he pulls you in closer to his chest. You can’t believe this is happening. Everything was great and now it seems like your entire world was caving in around you.
“Say that again Sam,” you hear Steve say as he presses his finger to his ear. He looks at the two of you and then out the window. “Bucky we don’t have time, they will be here in 5 minutes.”
Bucky releases you from his arms and makes his way to the closet. He rips the door open and grabs the backpack from the top shelf. He walks up to you and helps you put it over your shoulders. “(Y/n) listen you gotta go.”
You push him away with a look of disgust. “No. No there is no way that I’m leaving here without you.”
“(Y/n) please it is not safe if I go with you,” he shoots his eyes over to Steve. “You said there is some guy here with you. Sam, you said?”
Steve shakes his head, “Yes he is over on the roof of the next building. He can take her somewhere safe and once we get you out of here we can meet up with him.”
“(Y/n) if you really love me and trust me go with Sam. Run down those stairs and over to the next building and I will see you soon. I promise.”
You grab his face and pull him into an intense kiss. “Ok Bucky I’ll do it. I love you.”
“I love you too. Now go.”
You pull the backpack tight and head for the door. You turn back quickly looking at Bucky and Steve one last time. “It was nice meeting you Steve.” you say before closing the door and b lining it for the next building.
“She’s pretty Bucky.” Steve says to his friend with a smile.
Bucky smiles wide, “Yeah I know.” As the window shatters next to him and the door is busted down in the next room all he can think about is that you made it to Sam in time.
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togglesbloggle · a day ago
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One of the reasons I’m on Tumblr is that it’s a good place to practice my (popular/nontechnical) writing style and help develop a voice.  And the kind of voice I’m trying to develop, especially when I’m talking about Mars or general science, has some specific goals- it’s not a tool that does everything.  
Among those goals is the presentation of a very positive view of nature and inquiry into nature.  Something engaged, curious, and open to wonder.  I’m lucky to have the kind of circumstances where I can cultivate those virtues, and at this stage they’re among the most powerful forces in my life, so it’s natural to put them in my writing as well.  To cultivate honesty in my artifice, as it were.  But it does create certain biases in my writing, and there’s one particular gap that I’ve been feeling uneasy about.  So I’d like to be clear about something:
I hate my grad school experience.  It’s nasty, miserable, and painful.  It is not making me a better person.
For all that I love to talk about Mars, and teach, and do science, and all the things that in theory go into grad school, in practice and on net it’s been an ugly experience.  If you’re considering grad school, please think as hard as you can about whether there’s some other way to accomplish the thing that you want grad school to do.  If you want to be a professor, think about what components of that job you like, and what you would need to get those things in your life without being a professor.  If you want to teach, consider whether teaching university classes is what you want to do, or whether you could instead be a private tutor or work in high schools.  If you want to do science in a lab, consider whether there are industries that would let you do research with fewer credentials, or look into places (for geology, the USGS is one such) where there’s a lot of exciting work being done by people without that ‘Dr.’.  If you give it a hard think and decide that there’s no other way to get where you’re going, and you’ve never been employed outside academia, at a bare minimum consider taking a year or two to work in the best job you can find outside the university system, and decide after learning what the alternatives are like.
I’m dead serious about this.  A lot of people see a warning like this and think, well, grad school is hard, I already knew that.  But they think ‘hard’ means ‘requires lots of willpower and discomfort and luck and cultivation of skillful habits.’  Those things are all true, but in my case it’s missing a qualitative difference- grad school is ‘hard’ as in dangerous.  Since starting this program, my blood pressure has risen by something like 25 points, sometimes approaching levels needing emergency medical treatment- bloodwork shows normal chemistry otherwise, and after multiple hospital visits, the doctors have basically settled on sleep deprivation and stress as the proximate cause.  They’re experimenting with different meds now, and I’m doing a few experiments of my own to try to claw out a better lifestyle, but there’s a nontrivial chance that my body literally just won’t be able to take the strain without significantly shortening my life expectancy.  It’s a permanent state of emergency, all the time- for programmers in the audience, it’s a bit like being in a sprint for several years in a row.  I’ve missed funerals.
I’m not asking for advice or anything, this isn’t that kind of post.  But I’d hate to think that somebody on the fence about grad school looked at my blog and thought of it as an argument in favor of a PhD, just because I usually prefer not to talk about the ugly stuff.  Please, please reconsider.
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aquanova99 · a day ago
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Bella Grows a Backbone (Bella x reader platonic)
A/N: I probably won’t write for Bella again. But @nyx-daughterofchaos98 had a really good idea. I’m sorry this is so short love
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“Y/N. There’s no way.”
“What’s wrong? Do you know that car?”
“That’s Carlisle’s car?”
“The Cullen? What is he doing here?” You had found Bella in the woods after her idiot boyfriend left her stranded. Bella latched on to you relatively quick. You helped her get over Edward those first two months. Now you were at a point she would make jokes about the decisions she’d made. You hoped this guy wouldn’t ruin your process.
“I don’t know but he better get the hell out of my house.” The two of you went inside. You sensed her first, and prepared to defend Bella. She knew about your powers when you had to save the two of you from some creeps in port angeles. And then Laurent. God she really was a danger magnet. After that she had spilled everything about the cullens. You neglected to tell her you already knew about that when you hung around jacob. She didn’t need to mind readers in her life.
“Bella!”
“Alice?”
She pulled her into a hug. Bella was still in shock, you didn’t say anything. You kinda wanted to see how Bella would react after all that talk about hating what the Cullens did to her.
“What are you doing here?” She asked
“What are you? I saw you jump! What were you doing?” Why did she care?
“Not that it’s any of your business anymore but I was cliff diving with some of the guys from la push and y/n.”
Alice seemed to register you for the first time. Her eyes grew wide, “that’s why you disappeared! Bella werewolves and witches are not good company to keep!”
Okay. Rude. “Didn’t your husband almost eat her?” Her eyes grew wide
“You told her?”
“I already knew.” You saved Bella from lying, she was garbage at it anyway. “The legends in la push aren’t really a secret.”
“What do you mean I disappeared?” Bella asked
“I saw you jump but I didn’t see you come back. I’m assuming the wolves had to help you?”
“I-I guess I was the last to go. I got pushed down with a current and then Jacob pulled me up. Wait— why do you even care?”
“We still care about you Bella. We’re best friends.”
“Give me a break Alice. If we were friends you wouldn’t have let edward ditch me in the middle of nowhere.”
Alice was shocked, Bella had never stood up to her before. Jesus how bad did she let them walk over her before this? There was a long silence. Then the phone rang.
“Y/n could you get it, I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.”
“Sure Bella.” You end to grab the phone, “hello? Swan residence.”
“Is charlie there?”
“He’s at a funeral right now. Who is this?”
*click*
“Well that was weird.” You went back into the living room.
“Who was it?” You were about to answer but Alice beat you to it.
“Bella it’s Edward. He thinks your dead. He wants to die too.”
“That was him? He hung up when I asked for his name!”
Bella was unbothered, “okay and? You guys are all but indestructible.”
“He’s going to go to the volturi. We need to save him! I should have never told Rosalie. Please Bella you’re the only he will believe.”
“It sounds like a you problem.” You said, “it’s not our fault you told everyone Bella died without actually checking.”
She was glaring daggers at you. As much as Bella hated them, she wasn’t going to have that on her conscience.
“I have to figure out a way to tell Charlie. I’m not doing what you guys made me do last time.”
“I’ll take care of that Bella.” You left a message to Charlie saying you and Bella were having a girls weekend at your place. “We better be back by then.”
“Yeah sure. Just cover for us.”
“Oh no tiny. I’m going. You’re hiding something and I don’t trust you.”
“She’s coming or I’m not Alice.” Bella agreed. Alice was fuming.
“Fine.” You debated digging through her mind but that would require telling Bella. There were some things you needed to keep to yourself. For your own protection. You got a hold of Charlie at the airport before your flight. You were lucky he liked you. He had no problem with you and Bella relaxing. He had no idea you had your own place. For a cop he didn’t ask that many questions, otherwise he would have realized you were a few years older than Bella. He really was just happy she had friends.
Apparently grand theft auto was not a concern to vampires. The streets of Volterra were crowded. And now Alice wanted Bella to run. Bella rolled her eyes but still listened, you followed behind her.
“ I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“Let’s just get this over with.”
The two of you finally found Edward. God he really was dramatic. You again, debated just using your gift but there were too many people. Of course there was a festival today. Bella screamed his name but he didn’t look at her.
“Shit.” She ran through the fountain and into Edward. That could not have felt good.
“Bella?”
“Yeah, now get back.” Edward was shocked to see her but was even more shocked to hear her angry with him.
“I—I thought you were..”
“I know. But I’m not so don’t do anything stupid.” She looked back at me, “okay we can go now.” Edward tilted his head at you. He couldn’t read you either. Must have been driving him crazy.
You were ready to leave when you saw two hooded figures approaching you. You felt your heart get stuck in your throat the second the tall one made eye contact with you. You looked away and listened to Edward try and explain how he didn’t break any rules. Alice came in soon after.
“Come on guys, we don’t want to make a scene do we?”
“Bold words coming from the one whose brother almost showed everyone what a human disco ball looks like.” You heard the other two chuckle. You were joined by a smaller vampire. You heart hurt she seemed young, very young. Alice told Bella to go along with what she said. Bella linked her arms with yours. You could feel Edwards gaze on you. Bet he wishes this was him. Oh well, that’s what he gets.
God could this elevator take any longer? You were all dead silent. You hated it. “Well. This is awkward.” You really needed to stop speaking your thoughts out loud. The tall one chuckled again behind you.
“Relax little one. If you think this is bad wait until we get into the throne room.”
You smiled back at him. You noticed Edward and Alice stare at eachother. Probably having a secret conversation. Bella said they did that a lot. Bella began getting nervous.
“You aren’t freaked out?” She whispered.
“I mean I told you something was off when Alice came. We just have to go with it.”
“Bella. Nothing will happen to you I promise.”
“I’ve hear you promise lots of things Edward.” She had venom in her voice.
“Bella I’m so sor—“
“Just shut up.” You said, “leave her alone.” You could tell he wanted to rip you apart but he just turned away. Bella squeezed your arm in a silent thanks.
You were greeted by Aro. He said something about happy endings and Bella. But Bella was quick to tell him it was a misunderstanding. Aro asked to see if his gift worked on her. It didn’t and neither did Janes. Luckily he didn’t ask to take my hand, not yet.
Then it all went downhill he motioned for who you now knew was Felix to finish Bella. Edward ran towards him and knocked him down. Did he really think he had a chance? Against him? You’d been ready to defend your friend, now you were kinda enjoying the show. But he did try and save her. Bella was silent. She was shocked Edward had stepped in. Fuck alright now you have to save the idiot. You weren’t getting out of here human. That was clear. You used your gift to pull Edward away from Felix and towards Aro.
They all turned to look at you. “Can we all talk like adults here? If you had asked we would have told you we don’t mind being turned. At least I don’t. That means no laws are broken right?”
“You would sacrifice yourself for one of our kind? A soulless monster?” Aro asked
“Well he tried to save my friend so I owe him. I still think he’s scummy. Also it’s not like we have much of a choice, right? It’s death or vampire?”
“I suppose…” Aro mused, “is that your choice?”
“Yes.”
“And Bella?” Bella just nodded
Alice interrupted, “wait. What about a trade. We can still turn Bella. But y/n. She’s Felixs mate. Keep her.”
So that was her plan. You wanted to throw her against the wall but the blonde vampire had a hold on her. The other man, Caius growled at her.
“You act as if you have a say on the matter.”
“Peace brother.” Aro said.
“W-wait.” Bella finally seemed to be able to speak. “I’ll stay. Just don’t let me have go back with them.”
“Bella you can’t mean that!” Edward was back in Felixs grip. “These people are monsters.”
She turned to face him. “I hate you.” She came to stand next you. Aro laughed
“Well I suppose we should just call Carlisle and let him bring you home, no?”
Edward escaped Felix and lunged towards Aro. God this guy didn’t quit. You used your magic to throw him against the wall.
“I do quite like her.” You heard Aro say.
You were fuming at this point. You turned to Alice. “You knew this would happen, didn’t you?”
“I thought Bella would choose us.” Bella rolled her eyes.
“Uhm excuse me, aro?”
“Yes my dear. Do you think my friend and I could go get something gelato or something? Before our life ends and all that?”
The sad looking one finally spoke, “let them go for a bit brother, Heidi will be here soon.”
“Ah yes. Why don’t you two find the secretary. I’m sure she’d love to show you around.”
“Are you sure we can trust them brother?” Caius asked
“You can read my mind if you want?” You offered your hand.
“I will take you on that offer later heidi is on her way. Besides I’m sure you’ll want to learn all about your mate.”
You glanced at Felix. Well, he wasn’t wrong. You nodded at Aro.
He put his hands together, “perfect. I do love happy endings.”
Taglist: @adaydreamaway08 @artaxerxesthegreat @avyannadawn @lacychick @minghao3o @volturiwolf @quarthly only because you’ve been pro Bella lol
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ssa-m-187 · 2 days ago
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see you later
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summary: emily's back and hotch leaves for witness protection
prompt: “why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?” “it’s always a losing game with you” “if it means anything, i love you” (from this list)
word count: 1.2k
pairing: aaron hotchner x emily prentiss
genre: angsty lol
a/n: hey besties here’s some writing for the first time in a while (sorry lol) it’s an angstyish witsec fic i wrote in an hour last night with super old prompts and also semi-inspired by the song “see you later (ten years)” by jenna raine! feel free to lemme know what you think hehe love y'all
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I guess we can only make it so far
‘Cause time wasn't in our favor
This isn't goodbye, it’s simply see you later
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Aaron called Emily on Sunday afternoon, asking if he could swing by to come see her new apartment, and drop off a housewarming gift while he’s at it. After much protest to the gift, going on and on about how unnecessary it was, she agreed, and told him to bring a bottle of wine, too. (“If you insist on bringing a gift…” she’d said after he scoffed at her comment about wine.)
As soon as he got to the apartment, he placed the wine in her fridge, and handed her a giftbag. She peered inside, ignoring the actual gift and instead going straight for the card she found there too.
Peeling open the envelope, she starts reading, and immediately raises an eyebrow in question.
“Aaron,” she says.
“Emily,” he responds, matching her tone.
“Aaron, why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye, or something?”
“Emily…”
She just looks at him. Glares at him incredulously.
“Don't you dare tell me you're leaving. Not when we’re finally back within” —she scoffs— “reasonable distance of each other.”
Hotch is quiet. He looks uncomfortable. It’s all Emily needs to know.
“You really asked me back here,” she starts, “just to up and leave? Y’know I think I’d say I didn’t know you had the nerve, but honestly, Hotch—”
“WITSEC,” he interrupts.
“I’m sorry?”
“WITSEC,” he repeats. “Witness protection. The bureau is sending us into witness protection, that’s where I’m leaving. Because—”
“Scratch,” they say at the same time.
They’re both silent for a few moments, Emily staring something fierce at the space between her feet and his. She’s trying her best not to let the tears slip from her eyes, and he’s trying his best to ignore the tears to begin with. He always hated making her cry, hated that he’d ever done something to warrant tears, and hates that even in their last proper interaction he still was.
“If it means anything, I love you,” he tells her. “Still do.”
“Of course it means something, Aaron,” she fires back. “I don’t think I stopped loving you. Not from across the bullpen and not from across the fucking Atlantic Ocean. But what good is that now?”
“It’s out of my control Emily—”
“Oh I’m well aware, thank you.”
“I—”
“Don’t you dare tell me you’re sorry, and do not tell me to calm down, or to not get upset because it’s out of my control” she says, mocking his tone. “My whole life I've felt out of control, and like the universe just plucks every last genuinely good thing out of my hands and this? Us? We’re no exception.”
“Sweetheart—”
“It’s like—like everyone was taught how to...do life, or whatever, how to play the game, and I was just expected to figure it out on my own but I never did, so I keep losing. Losing what I love, who I love…”
Aaron wraps Emily in a hug just as she muffles a sob with a hand over her mouth.
“It’s always a losing game with me,” she says quietly, into his shoulder. “I’m just sorry you’re the one caught up in my mess now.”
He almost laughs in her face, but he knows that'll only make her feel worse. The way she blames everything on herself...he hates it. And he hates that she can’t see anything other than ways to make things into her own fault, especially when they so clearly aren’t.
“Emily, my love, please hear me when I say this is not on you. This isn’t even on me.” He pauses to take a breath in, trying to hold himself together for her, act as her rock one last time. “It’s awful. And I hate it. But unfortunately, at this point in time, it’s also necessary. I want it more for Jack than for myself. I cannot let him lose another parent to another unhinged criminal out for me. I need to protect myself for him.” He pauses. “For you, too.”
She looks up from where her head is still pressed against him.
“You’re right,” he continues. “Life has dealt us both a shitty hand. We’ve both gone through more than any one person should. And time was never in our favor. But Emily...you need to let me do this, you need to let me go. Let me go, so I can stay safe for you, sweetheart. So I can come back to you and not...end up photographed and stuck in some case file for someone to examine.”
They stay standing there for a while, in the middle of Emily’s new living room. Aaron has his arms wrapped around Emily, holding her tight to him, as if keeping her close physically will prevent the inevitable distance they’re about to be forced into. He’s rubbing his hand up and down her back and all Emily wants is to melt into his arms and lose all resolve, but there’s a part of her that thinks she shouldn’t even enjoy this because of the way it’s about to end, and there’s another part that thinks that if she lets go completely now she won’t be able to pull herself back up after; but she inhales deeply, trying to ground herself in the moment, catching a whiff of his cologne as she does. He hears how shaky her breath is on the exhale and he wishes he wasn’t the one causing it. Because as much as he knows it isn’t his fault he has to leave, it’s his fault she’s this upset. She’s not upset, crying tears into his shirt, because Scratch is after him; she’s crying those tears because he’s leaving, he’s leaving her.
“This isn’t permanent,” he reminds her. “I have full faith in my team, in you, Unit Chief Prentiss.” That at least draws a laugh from her, brings a smile to her tear-stained cheeks, even if it’s a slightly sarcastic one.
“This isn’t goodbye. It’s simply...see you—”
“See you later,” she mumbles, looking at the floor again.
“Exactly. It’s see you later.” He draws her back in, pulls her closer to his chest, wraps his arms around her again, tucking her into his side.
“And,” he adds. “I will, you know. See you later.”
———
Days later, it takes all Emily’s strength not to let the team see her wet eyes when Rossi tells them all how Hotch was put in WITSEC and left her to take his place as unit chief.
She goes back to her office and closes the door quietly as she walks in, back softly hitting the wall next to the jamb. It’s only after she stands there for a few minutes, leaning back on the wall, feeling her breathing become more even again, that she notices a big potted orchid sitting on her desk, an envelope propped up against it. Emily sits down in her chair, pulling the plant toward herself, reaching for the note. As soon as she opens it she’s overwhelmed by the familiar scrawl of black pen.
To keep you company in the meanwhile, it reads. See you later.
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taglist (join here!) @reidsacademia @aubreyprc @reidyoulikeabook @multixfandomwriter @spencerreid9 @mercy-burning @averyhotchner @rigatonireid @spacedikut @alltooreid @reidingmelodies @reid-me-a-story @originalvampireslut @altsvu @sarahhotchner @florenceremingtonthethird @apprenticeprentiss @anastasiahotchner @suckerforhotchniss @pyrrhichotchniss @glockleveledatyourcrotch @irisonthebus @emilyprsntiss @meganskane @lumosemily @ssa-sparks
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btsydtrash · 2 days ago
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So Far Away [3]
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single father yoongi x preschool teacher yn; mechanic vmin
(author’s note: i love this story. i’m sorry, i really love yoongi so much. taehyung is the friend i wish i could have, or the friend i could be. talk to me in the comments ab what you think so far, ty angels!)
word count: 3.3k
(angst / fluff / smut / gore / yandere)
tw: none
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Chapter 3 - Satori
“What’s got you smiling all creepily like that?”
YN pokes her head out of the kitchen, your hair pulled out of your face with the help of a scarf, and your mouth twists into a scowl. “Something is going on and you aren't telling me.”
You carry the deep pot holding the spicy kimchi jjigae using oven mitts to protect your delicate hands and you place it on the miniature table in front of the taller man. “Oh, you’re such a wonderful wife.”
You tilt your head and ask, smartly, “When did we get married?”
“The day we met,” Taehyung replies, rolling his eyes and grabbing two bowl, putting one out in front of both of you. “You eat first.”
You smile, softly, before scooping a healthy spoonful out and pouring it into his bowl. “Don’t be silly.”
“I really hate when you do that,” he replies with no heat in his tone. He doesn’t even really mean it - he loves when you’re soft and sweet like this, because he knows this is your way of showing how much you care for him, but he wishes you would sometimes just do things for yourself. Be a little more selfish. Like him.
“No, you don’t,” you quip back, serving yourself a healthy bowlful of broth and extra rice. You settle down, crossing your legs in your lap and you asks, twisting your spoon in the bowl, mixing everything wonderfully until it resembled more like colorful mush than anything else. “Tell me about work. How did it go? Was everyone nice to you?”
He snorts and does the same to his food - the two of them eat in similar ways after living together for so long. “I’m not fifteen, YN.”
“First of all, I can worry regardless, and secondly, you wouldn’t think you were 24 with how immature you can be,” you scoff, putting more soup in his bowl with a considerate smile. You brandish the ladle as if it were a blade and you warn, “Talk, now, while I’m being nice about it.”
“I enjoy the place,” he informs you, mind bringing up images from his day, especially that of a particularly beautiful man with soft curls, wide eyes and puffy, soft lips. “It’s nice and the guys seem fun. The place felt warm, weirdly enough.”
You ask, burrowing your feet in his sweater and flexing your toes against his sternum, “It won’t get boring?”
“I don’t think so,” he replies, shifting so your feet would rest in his lap and you would be more comfortable. “I know I complained a lot at my last place, but I feel like this new spot could be really good for me.”
The smile on his face is earnest, and you feel yourself mirror his expression. “That’s all I wanted for you.”
“C’mon, Juicy,” he complains. “Enough about me and my feelings. I know you’ve been dying to wax your poetry about your crush.”
You shove him away using your foot and curl in on yourself, shyly. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Liar!”
You glare at your best friend before letting out a sigh. “We talked today. Just in the morning. He picked up his daughter but he seemed to be in a rush so I couldn’t justify taking up more of his time.”
“Even though you wanted to?”
You nod, shyly. “He’s such a good dad. He’s so soft with her. She’s a little manic sometimes. High-energy. And that can be overwhelming. But he doesn’t get angry with her. He just talks to her warmly. Then, he gives her hugs and kisses instead of telling her off. It gives me butterflies.”
Taehyung nearly melts at the sight of his best friend. You’re so stinkin’ adorable.
Still, he wouldn’t be your best friend if he didn’t bully you, just a little. “You wish that was you, huh?”
You swat at him. “Stop teasing me!”
“I don’t know why you don’t just tell him you think he’s hot,” Taehyung suggests, brows raising slightly in amusement. “You’re smokin’ hot, and I’m assuming he is too. Your standards aren’t low in that regard.”
You let out a scandalized huff. “Are you saying my taste in men is bad?”
“Their personalities are almost always terrible,” he replies, with serious look. “It’s not your fault, of course. They’re really good liars and you’re too nice.”
Looking back, Taehyung should have just had your last boyfriend jumped and pulled his teeth out behind your back, but you had wanted to end things amicably. He hopes his sarcasm is obvious enough to be acknowledged.
“You don’t have a leg to stand on, if that’s the case,” she remarks, equally as gravely. “I seem to recall you dating a wanted felon some months ago.”
“But he had such a big dick,” he answers, almost despondently. “Plus, he let me top him and I never get to do that.”
“You’re so annoying,” you answer, kicking him once more, and he grabs your foot in a gentle grip. He uses his fingers to massage your ankles gently, but his expression is devious enough for you to feel nervous. You warn, trying to tug your leg out of his steel-like grip, “You know I’m ticklish, Tae. Don’t start.”
“I wouldn’t have started anything if you didn’t kick me,” he retorts. “Now, you’re gonna have to deal with the consequences.”
He draws his long fingers across the sole of your foot, concentrating on the fatty part under your big toe and he sends you reeling.
You wail, “Stop! I’m gonna pee!”
He laughs, manically, and tickles you more in earnest, until you are red-faced, teary-eyed and kicking wildly.
“If you knock over the food, you’re gonna have to clean it up,” he warns, before he starts back his assault. “Say you’re sorry and I’ll stop.”
He doesn’t let up with his tickling, in fact he goes harder when he sees how vulnerable you are, highlighting his more sadistic side. He likes when you’re free like this - hair wild and out of the scarf from your wiggling, smile bright and real and beautiful. You kick him at him but he’s definitely too strong for you, and within seconds you are pleading and apologizing.
He releases you instantly, and you run off to the bathroom to go relieve yourself, swearing and flushing angrily the entire way.
“Still got it,” he remarks to himself, reclining back against the sofa and turning up the TV. A new episode of their favorite show was starting. When he hears the toilet flushing in the other room, he calls, “Hey, stinky feet. Our show is on.”
You run in quickly, grabbing your bowl and switching off the lights. “Lemme snuggle.”
He moves slightly, opening his arms without taking his eyes off the TV as the introduction credits roll across the screen. You bundle yourself up in embrace, laying with your back against his stomach and you both hum along to the familiar soundtrack.
As the show rolls out in front of your eyes, you eat distractedly. Bringing your spoon to your mouth and chewing silently, eyes fixed and wide as the actors act their asses off, laughing when it is funny, and holding your breath when it was tense. Taehyung mirrors you perfectly, both of you existing as a reflection of the other.
He plays with your hair a little once he has finished his food and he needs something to do with his hands. He twists your curls around his finger, unraveling them and gently pulling them apart, loosening them. You don’t complain, liking the sensation of someone teasing your scalp with soft, caring hands.
This was your heaven - quiet time with your best friend, the person who knows you best in the world, eating comfort food and watching a show that fills you with joy.
If you could spend every day this way, you would.
——
Taehyung gets to work early after dropping YN off at the school. You had given him one of the spooky cupcakes that you had made the night before for your school’s Halloween party. It had a cauldron on it, a mish-mash of green, purple and orange smoke coming out of a black bowl. You had done them yourself late into the night. You were so proud of how they turned out, and he was happy because you were so excited to show off your work to the kids. He almost didn’t want to eat the cupcake, but it was delicious so, of course, it didn’t last five minutes.
You were dressed up like a fairy, with green wings and matching tights with your hair all curled and pretty. You even had glitter makeup on your face and in your hair, so you sparkled in the sunlight. You didn’t want to get the subway looking that way, which, first, he would have never allowed you to anyway, but he understood regardless.
Even though you both shared the car, he used to more because you only ever went to work and you caught the subway to your monthly sip-and-paint class in the city. He wasn’t exactly happy that you were living a life of a fifty-year-old divorcee but the most he had to worry about you doing at home was drinking too much of his wine and slipping into the bathtub again.
He nudges into the garage with his jacket half-open, both hands holding eight different cups of coffee in brown paper cup holders.
“Morning,” he calls and he hears five responses of varying enthusiasm across the garage. He walks past each man and gestures to their coffee with a nod of his head. “Hobi-hyung, black tea. Yuck. Namjoon-hyung, green tea with two sugars. Yoongi-hyung, iced americano. Double yuck. Jungkook, vanilla latte with cream. Jimin-hyung, caramel mocaccino with a pump of toffee. And for me, cappuccino with hazelnut syrup.”
“How do you remember everyone’s orders so well?” Jimin asks with a grateful smile as he nuzzles into the couch further, holding the hot drink closer to his chest. Cute.
“I worked as a bartender for like four years,” he answers, hopping onto the couch, slotting himself between Jimin and Jungkook. He throws his arm over Jungkook’s shoulder while the youngest employee half-heartedly shrugs him off. “Yah, are you still being prickly with me, Kookie?”
“Hyung, you’re heavy,” he complains, but he doesn’t shove him off completely. The youngest acted like a porcupine, but Taehyung has worn down moodier and more distant people in the past. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“Don’t mention it. I was getting breakfast for my girl and I and thought it would only be right,” he tells him. Jimin shifts a little and Taehyung casts a side-long glance at the older man. He looks good, but a little fussy. He always looks great, but something about him this early in the morning. His lips are puffy, his eyes are a little unclear, as if he’s still waking up. Taehyung wonders what he looks like first thing in the morning. He has to shake himself out of that line of thought immediately. You will not put your dick where you eat, he reminds himself. “I’m not sure if you guys have allergies so I didn’t get any food. Next time, though. I got it.”
“Free food? I take it back. Hyung, you’re my best friend,” Jungkook compliments, sidling closer to the older man and Taehyung snorts at his behavior.
“Is this how you flirt?”
Jungkook scoffs before he levels him with a firm stare. “If I were flirting, you’d know.”
Taehyung raises his eyebrow in challenge before he purses his lips. Jungkook was cute - in that cheeky little brother kind of way. He was much too buff for Taehyung’s tastes, but he was definitely handsome. And, Taehyung’s gaydar was pretty accurate, and he was giving very much limp wrist.
“If you guys are done sucking each other’s dicks,” Jimin grumbles, tightly, “What’s on the schedule for today, boss?”
Namjoon glances over the rim of his glasses as he sips his tea before he grabs the ledger and scans the pages quickly. “We have a couple of drop-offs later. Cleaning and touch-ups mostly. Yoongi, Ms Moon is coming later for you to do some shit to her engine. She said you’d know what she was talking about?”
Yoongi nods. “She said she kept hearing a weird sound when she drove for longer than an hour. I told her to bring it in and I’d look it over.”
“That old lady has such a crush on you,” Hobi remarks, eyes creasing in amusement. “I wouldn’t be surprised if she was lying just to get you alone.”
Yoongi’s neck turns ruddy in embarrassment, but he doesn’t deny the older man’s words.
“Speaking of crushes,” Jungkook starts, and instantly. Yoongi’s glare becomes poisonous. “Hyung, did you end up talking to her yet?”
“What’s this?” Taehyung asks, leaning forward, intrigued. He glances between the two men, locked in an impasse - a battle of the wills. Jungkook radiates nothing but pure sadistic glee while Yoongi seems to be pumping out sheer frustration. “Yoongi has a crush?”
“A crush is putting it lightly,” Hobi answers. “He’s practically in love with this girl.”
Yoongi puts his head into his hands, rustling up his hair and groaning. “Guys, please.”
“We’re gossips, hyung,” Jimin replies, reclining back into the sofa. The outside of his leg brushes up against Taehyung’s and he had to pinch himself to keep his brain out of the gutter. “It’s in our nature.”
Taehyung asks, “Who is the lucky lady?”
“A kindergarten teacher, if you could get anymore cliche,” Jungkook says, teasingly.
Taehyung hums, head tilting slightly. “What’s she like?”
All five faces turn to Yoongi, who lets out a put-upon sigh before he says, nervously, eyes turning down to the cup which he’s playing with to distract himself, “She’s soft… and kind. The way she talks, the light in her eyes, I could look at her for hours and still learn more about her, you know? She carries herself like she hasn’t got a care in the world, and I just want to be around her. I know I’m not the nicest of people, but she makes me feel brighter, like I could laugh and smile and not feel embarrassed about it. She gives me butterflies, like I’m a fucking high-schooler. It’s pathetic.”
“Why is that pathetic? It sounds like you’re in love with her,” Taehyung remarks, lightly.
“He doesn’t talk to her,” Jungkook informs him, playfully.
Yoongi gnashes his teeth. “Watch it, dickhead.”
Jungkook asks, patronizingly, “Did I lie?”
Yoongi can’t respond, but his blush deepens.
Jungkook was a real younger brother, ribbing him in a way that nobody else could get away with. He wasn’t being mean or hurtful - he was teasing, and although there was a bit of tension, it wasn’t unbearable like Taehyung would have expected from colleagues. He wonders if the boys were actually related in some kind of way. He wasn’t used to such a free work environment.
Still, Taehyung wants to change the subject a little. He feels a bit hot under the collar from the strain. He doesn’t see Jimin snicker at his obvious discomfort behind his hand.
Taehyung asks, gently, “How did you two meet?”
“She teaches my daughter,” the quiet man answers. He gets a tender look in his eye that makes alarms in Taehyung’s head start blinking distantly. He hears something akin to the ‘Kill Bill’ klaxon ringing in his ears. “My kid loves her to pieces. She’s like her favorite person. Sometimes I think she likes her more than she likes me.”
He doesn’t know why he does, but something in him pushes him to ask, “What does she look like?”
He perks up at the question and he replies, lips tugging up in a soft smile, “She has really pretty eyes, big and [your eye color]. She has soft skin, and her smile lights up a whole room. Her hair is all curly and big. Sometimes, she has it back and out of her face, and then it’s like I can’t focus on anything but her eyes or her smile and I get nauseous.”
“She makes you feel sick?” Jungkook is about two words away from bursting into uncontrollable laughter and the others can hear it in his voice. Jimin swats the back of his head in chastisement.
“No, you prick,” Yoongi growls. “I get nervous, okay! She smiles at me, and I turn into a fucking babbling idiot. Sena laughs at me, every fucking day. ‘Oh, Daddy? Why’d you say that earlier to Miss YN?’ Because, honey, I’m in love with your teacher and she drives me crazy!”
Taehyung freezes at the sound of your name. His eyes widen without his permission and his breath catches in his lungs.
Namjoon perks up a little and he remarks, “Her name is YN? You’ve never told us her name before.”
Your name isn’t exactly unique, in a general context. But, the klaxon sound is getting louder in his head and he feels like he’s on the precipice of a huge realization. He doesn’t want to assume, but he feels gooseflesh break out across his back at the thought that maybe… maybe his life is intersecting in such a dramatic way.
“It’s a pretty name,” Hobi compliments, delicately. “Did you see her today?”
Yoongi practically melts in his seat. “She was dressed up. All glittery and pretty. Like a fairy. She even had wings. I thought I was seeing things at first, but then Sena ran up to her and begged me to take pictures with her. I didn’t want to be weird so I didn’t, but fuck, I wanted to.”
Yeah.
Fuck.
It was you.
Yoongi was in love with his best friend.
You were in love with Yoongi.
The vestiges of a plan starts blossoming in his head and Taehyung finds himself sitting back, surveying his older colleague with surgical-like precision.
He wasn’t bad-looking.
In fact, he was handsome, in a tender way. His eyes were cat-like and small. The way he spoke was pensive and knowledgeable, but a little rough like an older brother. He wonders if that would extend to you too. His body seemed small at first glance but he had power in his physique, especially in his shoulders. His skin was smooth and pale and pale pink in places, like around his knees and elbows, and the inside of his lips.
He was your type, physically at least. And Taehyung wasn’t sure about how that made him feel.
He wasn’t a jealous friend exactly. But he was particular about who he let near you. For good reason. You were gorgeous and funny and kind and sweet and nice. And sometimes, people don’t appreciate nice the way it deserved to be appreciated. They bleed it dry until it’s not nice anymore - it’s begrudging, or it’s frustrated, or it’s enduring. And he doesn’t want that for you.
He wants joy. He wants happiness. He wants flowers and chocolates and walks on the beach and surprise proposals.
And if he doesn’t think Yoongi can give that for you, he won’t let it go ahead.
Feelings be damned.
“Why are you looking at him so much?”
Taehyung jolts at the sound of Jimin’s voice so close to his ear. He glances to the side to see the brunet observing him just as intently as Taehyung was regarding the other man. He had leaned forward and was barely a few inches away from his face. He was so close, Taehyung could count his freckles and see the separation in his long and curly eyelashes.
He takes a moment to reply, still surprised at how close they were, “Sorry, I zoned out.”
Jimin didn’t seem convinced. “What were you thinking so hard about?”
“Coincidence,” he replies, sitting back and giving Jimin a private look. He looks across his face, cataloguing his features quickly. His puffy lips that Taehyung wants to suck on. Eyes as wide and pretty under the white overhead lights. Smooth, tanned skin. A strong sloping nose. Pretty white teeth that are only a little crooked. He was so fucking pretty. “Serendipity.”
“I’ve always loved that word,” Jimin answers, sweetly. He fiddles with the cap of the coffee, dragging his finger through the liquid that had pooled in the lid. He seems nervous, but it only made Taehyung want to tease him more.
“Me too,” Taehyung retorts. He shoots Yoongi a final glance before he turns his attentions back to his coffee. “Things just got interesting.”
- end -
Masterlist / (1), (2), (3)
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izzabeean · a day ago
Text
Double Bind | Chapter 2
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pairing : fushiguro toji x f!reader / gojo satoru x f!reader
warnings/tags : 18+, manga spoilers (up to chapter 79), alternate universe, unrequited love, love/hate, obsession, explicit language, graphic description of corpses, blood and injury.
genre : angst + smut
word count : 3,596
a/n :  hi! please be kind with my interpretation, I'm aware some things might not connect with the manga timeline. also, I'm unsure how I feel about the fighting sequence and mentions of cursed energy. but other than that, I'm very happy to share with you this next chapter. it's about to get a little more angsty now. I hope y'all like it!!TW: mentions of a corpse, mentions of blood
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Total and complete irremediable sorrow trembles through you when you’re met with Toji’s remains-- his entire left side of his torso obliterated and his arm severed. A gloom of disappointment clouds you as the realization that his invincibility is only backed up by his pride. He is not eternal, nor free from harm, something so sickening to come to terms with that it makes your stomach swirl.
“You meant the world to me,” you whimper, feeling layers of unsettling emotion. It feels surreal. Like everything has just been ripped away from you in this tragedy. 
“I should have protected you.” But is protection something you could even offer him? For he couldn't even save himself at the time of his destruction. 
Gazing upon his corpse, you wonder if perhaps he is finally at peace, able to shove down his vengeance on the world. Yet you couldn't even fathom the heaviness of your heart as you know he could not eternally rest when the animal that killed him is still alive. 
A rumble of irrefutable heat sparks in you, your pulse starts racing as your hands start to sweat. The feeling of heavy anguish in your chest seethes and consumes you, building up a wall of treachery and wrath. How could he leave you? How could he go as far as to fuck you then just die like that? It’s unthinkable. Unreasonable. Unlike Toji, to just die.
Then like a switch, the rational side of your brain turns off. Instead, you are encompassed with a fury that's far more vast than the deepest ocean. A hostility wakes up in you as you look up to the man that brought you here. 
“Who did this to him?” You manage to grit between your teeth. 
The man pauses taking one conniving look at you before replying. You don't know if you can trust him but he's the only one that has the definite answer. You're about to repeat yourself, as your patience begins to falter, but he cuts you off with a breath, looking at you dead in the eyes. 
“Gojo Satoru.”
Him? You think, tracking back to the moments Toji has spoken to you about the Six Eyes. Your skin crawled and the hairs on your neck stood up, it was so haunting. Never has a name engrossed you with so much hate and anger. The fuming flames of emotion grasped at your heart, squeezing it to the point of discomfort.
Your greatest strength as an assassin is always thinking through and planning before taking action. You’d get to know your target, get a feel for their mannerisms, to a point that you could read their next move upon attack. 
Yet upon hearing that name… Like tunnel vision, your hunger for vengeance outweighs your principles. And yes, you know the risk of what you are up against. But you don’t care because you only have one goal:
To take down Gojo Satoru.
“Where can I find him?” Your voice is stern and cold. The task will be a bit more of a challenge than expected, but you weren’t one to back down from someone so sinister. It makes your head hurt. The pain was so searing you couldn’t even think what you were supposed to do. 
The man smirks, noticing the change in your demeanor, then passes a note. You take it from him and unfold it to reveal the location of your target. You couldn’t wait, you had to see what these Six Eyes are all about. 
Without hesitation your body takes off from the rush of adrenaline, knowing exactly where he is. Tokyo Jujutsu Tech. It was almost too easy to track him down. In fact, you were almost certain that you could potentially fall into a trap, but avenging Toji drives you forward. 
Hiding from plain sight, the towering white-haired man stands adjacent to a slim, tall man with black hair tied up in a bun. 
That’s him, you think, eyeing him up and down noticing he’s wearing a pair of dark sunglasses protecting his bright blue eyes. You can’t hear their conversation, but you hear a startling laugh from Gojo, making your entire body tremble with disgust. And as if he could hear your thoughts, he turns to look in your direction just before you duck for cover holding your breath.
You wait a moment counting to ten, before looking out to see where he’s heading to. Though when you peek out, you notice the black-haired man walking away and Gojo starring right at you. Your eyes widen, as you dash away instantly, out of his sight. Your heart starts to pound, it feels like it could break out of your chest as you run away as fast as you can.
“Have we met before?” A voice sounds while you are in mid-sprint and beside you, you see Gojo flashing a cheeky smile. “I feel like I would have remembered such a pretty face though.”
His teasing is torturous, it makes you want to vomit. You jump away changing directions, but he continues to tail you.
“Maybe at the sweets shop?” he asks as if you’d both known each other for years and he was trying to catch up with a casual conversation. “Or maybe on a job?”
Your eyes widen, fully knowing he’s probably just playing coy and knows exactly why you’re here. There's uncertainty whether you can flee from this encounter, so with all your frustration, you lunge towards the target. And seemingly your strength almost doubles as you attack, but your strike is not fast enough to even touch Gojo. 
Fully aware that you're not totally in control of yourself, you put your running to a pause and stand facing Gojo to catch your breath regaining your balance and composure. You've come totally unprepared, giving Gojo full control of the encounter. 
"Aw, c'mon. You don't have to be shy," he coos standing with his hands on his hips. "I know my good looks can make a lot of people nervous."
You can't believe that he just said that. It's almost as if he's mocking you in the way he grins like he's warning you to not be too careless.
"Believe me," you rage. "You're not my type."
"Then why did I catch you spying on me?' 
“It was a test,” you lie. It's true that you were caught but you couldn't give him the satisfaction that he is right. 
“Hm?” he hums. “Who do you work for?”
“Work for? You hiss. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, but you do,” he purrs. “A lot of people are out to get me.”
He has this crazy look in his eyes as if he could so effortlessly end you and you know he could. But you couldn’t let this be the end, not when Toji went and died without your consent.
"They thought they could distract me with such a pretty girl,” he flirts and it just fuels your anger more. 
Springing forward you draw out a knife strapped onto your calf then constrict your cursed energy into it. With a loud grunt, you aim for your target's legs hoping you can stun his movements. But Gojo just dodges it, instantly appearing behind you. He’s fast. Almost too fast to take note of where he is. You swing the knife at him again, but he remains vigilant only showing you how mundane it is for him-- it's too easy for him. It makes your blood boil.
You push yourself further and further, putting all your techniques into gear, as you're constantly reminding yourself with each attach that it's for Toji. Your moves get slopier as your frustration bubbles within you causing an eruption of negative emotions. And the fight isn’t even close.
"I think that's enough," Gojo utters, grabbing your wrist seeing you carelessly tire yourself out.
You don't listen as you try to gather up as much energy as you can for the final blow seeing as this is your only opportunity to get this close. With a final distressing scream, you thrust the knife towards his throat, but it stops before even touching him, not even causing a scratch. Sheer shock courses through your spine, as you fall to your knees gutted and destroyed. If this was trying your best, you didn't know what you could do to beat this nuisance. You can't avenge Toji, not when you're this weak. You feel like a disappointment. How can you say you'll kill this monster when you can't even touch him with your attacks? 
You try to keep your eyes open, but everything around you blurs and the last thing you see is Gojo's blue eyes, then everything goes black as you collapse.
All your will to fight diminishes and the heaviness of your body outweighs the heaviness you feel upon defeat. If you were going to beat Gojo, you were going to have to go through some severe training, at least you will have to if you get out of this alive. Being alive feels so much more difficult than it did before, of course, you barely had anything to live for in the first place, but Toji was a reason to continue going. Even if you didn't see him often, you still looked forward to the days you would encounter each other. There was always something about the way he looked at you. No one else in the world gave you such an honest look, even if he almost looked repulsed by you. Yet, when you think back to that last day you saw him, you could see his eyes filled with a longing to see you. Perhaps you were a bit naive to think so, but you'd like to believe he did somewhat care for you. It's something that you feel so deep in your bones, no words need to confirm it. The thought gives your strength, the strength to open your eyes and keep fighting.
But when you open your eyes, you can't see anything. Only absolute darkness. And the sound of water dripping like:
Drip... Drip... Drip...
It’s terrifying, but it feels like it’s calling you so you walk forward further into the nothingness following the sound. All your senses heighten, and an icy breeze prickles against you decorating your skin in goosebumps. The dripping still fills the silence, but as you grow closer to the sound, a voice whispers in your ears. The words aren’t loud enough to understand, but you swore it was someone calling your name. Then a speckle of a dim warm glow looms in the distance. You wish to call out to it, but you can't seem to find your voice so you start walking towards the strange phenomenon. But the light only grows further and further as you walk and a deep sense of anxiety pushes you forward. You sprint towards it, hands reaching out in hopes that somehow you can grab it. 
The light starts to grow brighter and brighter. But as you get closer to it, it isn't just an illumination. You see a figure. It's hard to make out what it is but it looks inhumane. You slowly encounter the thing half scared, half intrigued. The pressure starts to build in your chest and breathing becomes almost unmanageable. And once your eyes adjust, you can see everything. 
Toji's mutilated body stands in front of you.
You fixate on his injury noticing that the dripping sound is coming from the absence of the left side of his torso. Blood drips his open wounds as it pools below him. He gazes at you with regret and says, "I told you not to come looking for me."
A sob rises in your throat as you release a mournful cry reaching out to grab him. But your body falls into the blood and keeps descending below him to the point you are closed back into the darkness. You cry in exasperation trying to bite back tears and then you wake. 
You rise up from the ground clasping your chest trying to digest the events that just unfolded. 
It was just a dream. 
You look around to see where you are and don't recognize the room. You are surrounded by walls covered in thick opaque paper painted with a landscape of the mountains and trees. The floors are covered in thick tatami mats as the ceiling is raised coffered with warm wood. A translucent sliding door made up of wooden lattices covered in translucent paper dresses the room in a cool glow of moonlight. 
You wonder how long you've been out and attempt to move but your body screams at you to stop as pain engulfs you. The last thing you remember is falling on your knees before your nightmare. You let out an agonizing yelp unable to fully process this throbbing. It's hard to tell what's worse, the physical pain from your body or the emotional pain of Toji's death. 
The sliding door shoots open and a white-haired man saunter's in covering your mouth with his hand. 
"Shh, you have to be quiet," he whispers. "No one knows you're here."
Looking up you see Gojo, his eyes twinkle as he gazes down on you. Your body begins to lurch forward trying to get away from him but he just pins you down harder. 
"Stop," he utters. "You're only going to get yourself hurt."
You're squirming comes to an abrupt stop seeing as the severe pain in your body shoots through you once again. And you're calm but in agony.
"Don't scream, ok? I'm going to remove my hand now," he says calmly, then waits for your reassurance before slowly moving his hand. 
"What am I doing here?" You snap almost instantly after he pulls away and takes a seat beside you. "Why didn't you kill me?"
"A pretty girl like you?" He smirks. "Can't let that go to waste, plus you're not as strong as you think you are."
"And now what do you plan on doing to me?" You hiss, riled up by his presence in the room. You had only hoped to exchange very few words whilst in combat, but now you're stuck with him as punishment for not planning your attack. "Is locking me up some form of torture?"
"If you haven't noticed you're not under any restraints," he says gesturing to your body.
You wriggle your limbs to check how limited your movements are, but alas your only constraint is a blanket.
"You're a menace," you blurt out, feeling your face grow flush.
"A menace that lets you live?" 
"Why am I here then?" You fire back.
"Why did you try to kill me?" He asks, drawing in closer to you closing the gap between the two of you. "And I’m quite nice to even say you tried."
You don't respond, keeping your lips shut tight sending him a heavy glare. 
"Fine, I'll just have to use another kind of technique on you," Gojo adds, leaning in seductively. You're sure that dying right now could ruin everything that you've worked for, but a part of you would be at peace cuz you hoped that maybe you'd be able to find Toji. 
Gojo keeps his hand behind his back as if she is hiding his attack from you and you close your eyes in an attempt to shield yourself from the disturbance that is about to unfold. When the attack doesn't come, you open your eyes and see a bag of sweets in Gojo's hands.
"I'll feed them to you," he says in an almost threatening way.
"It's not necessary--"
"Say ahh," he sings, popping a chewy delicious red bean flavored treat in your mouth.
At first, you're taken aback by his weird form of torture, but as the flavors coat the inside of your mouth you settle into the bed feeling a bit better. But dropping your guard down just makes you more uneasy at the fact he is feeding you sweets and a big pit in your stomach forms.
"Are these poisoned?" You exclaim furious at yourself for giving in to this killer's tactics. 
"You seriously think I have--" he stops himself mid-sentence. "No, they're my favorite. I got a fresh batch this morning. How could you think I would soil such pristine sweets?"
Your face is in awe at his exclamation and you're not sure whether or not you're dreaming or just in hell. 
"Enjoy!" He says getting up to leave the box beside you before opening the door to leave. "Oh, and make sure not to be too loud. I wouldn't want my colleagues to find out about you."
With that, he shuts the door rendering you speechless. The situation you were in is far from sane in itself, you couldn't quite understand the ethics behind Gojo's decision to not kill you. Honestly, you thought him to be quite foolish for letting you live, this only gives you more opportunity to find his weaknesses so you could destroy him. But until then you were stuck in this room. 
A day and a bit go by, and the pain overwhelming your body begins to settle down. You hadn't found much intel seeing as you've been constricted to this room, but you were quite pleased Gojo came to visit giving you more food-- none of which had nutritional value, just more sweets. 
There was no added worth of being here, just time wasted where you weren't able to plan your attack. Gojo had been gone for a while and you suspected him not to be back until the morning, so this evening, you hoped would be the opportunity to sneak out. 
Getting up from bed your bones crack settling into your stance, the pain is still present, but you couldn't stand being here for another moment. As you pull open the sliding door you are met with Gojo face to face, causing you to jump out of your skin. 
"Want to go on a stroll?" He asks, choosing to ignore your attempt to escape. You're hesitant, to say the least, full of distrust. This man hasn't done anything to harm you but you can't give in to his ways. With a grin on his face, he adds, "I'll let you hold my hand."
"Gross," you mumble, walking past him outside to the elegant garden only lit by the moon. 
"Breathtaking," he whispers, taking the words right out of your mouth.
"Are you always this articulate?” You say before looking over to Gojo who is staring at you. 
"Are you always this stuck up?" He pokes back in hopes to get a reaction out of you. And he does because he can see the rage in you as you scowl at him with annoyance. "C'mon. Lighten up a little."
He walks in front of you down a gravel path and you follow behind. Evergreen foliage surrounds you, as small dim lanterns light the way to a small pond shimmering in the moonglow. The sight is tranquil and calming, bringing you a sense of peace. You wish you could have shared this moment with Toji, even if it was doubtful it would happen in the first place. A strange sense of urgency alarms your brain as you recall the dream you had the other day. Obviously, it could have been a sign to turn back and try to not kill Gojo, but it only made you even more determined to do so. 
"Why couldn't I kill you?" You whisper.
"Same reason Fugishiro couldn't… that's why you're here isn't it?"
You snapped to look over at Gojo, "Wh-- what. How do you know?"
"It's not the hardest thing to track," he teases. "Especially when a woman's in love."
"You're a fucking asshole," you utter. "You knew all along?"
"Cussing is a bit unattractive," he retorts. 
"Like I haven't heard that one before," you snort.
"That's not to say I don't like it," Gojo purrs, stepping in closer to you.
"When will you let me go?" you ask, pushing him at his chest with your fingertips.
"I don't know if I ever will, maybe you'll just be my prisoner forever," he flirts, to which you roll your eyes and cross your arm against your chest. "What no witty banter, your boyfriend seemed to be more up for it."
"He wasn't my boyfriend," you snarl.
Gojo looks at you intently as if to try to read your mind, then leans in closer.
"Then this makes this even easier." 
He closes the gap between the two of you. His lips look soft to the touch and seeing him closer you can honestly see why he has such a big ego. He's actually quite attractive and you wouldn't be surprised if he enjoyed handfuls of women chasing after him. Though this didn't really interest you and you turned away quickly before he could press his lips to yours. 
"Nice try. I'm leaving," you rasp walking away towards the wall of the garden to leave. You expected to have him stop you from escaping, but you find yourself continuing to walk away and get further and further from the room you were resting in. But now your deed is done and you can work to expel the disease that was once Gojo Satoru. 
Gojo watches you from behind, taking in your figure memorizing it. He knows that letting you go won't be the last time that he sees you. He knows that deep in his heart you will for sure be back.
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nellsclayton · 22 hours ago
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moon's masterlist
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BELOW THE CUT YOU WILL FIND A COMPLETE LIST OF MY WORKS. I DO NOT ALLOW MY WORKS TO BE TRANSLATED. PLEASE DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
REQUESTS ARE: OPEN
DM OR ASK ME TO JOIN MY TAGLIST
CURRENT NUMBER OF WORKS: 17
MASTERLIST UPDATED: THURSDAY 21 OCTOBER 2021
UPDATES ARE ON TUESDAYS AND FRIDAYS.
KEY
☆ most recent
☆ author's faves
☆ fluff
☆ angst
☆ smut
☆ alternate universe
☆ platonic/family
ACTORS
TOM HOLLAND
☆☆☆ Helpless: Commoner!Tom Holland x Princess!Reader | 1.7K words
They go back further than he remembers, but she wants to move forward more than he knows. All she knows is that when she looks into his eyes, she suddenly is helpless. (AUTHOR'S FAVE) (FLUFF) (ROYAL AU)
DESCENDANTS
HARRY HOOK
☆☆ Books with Betrothed: Harry Hook x Fem!Reader | 1.2K words
Your parents are setting you up to improve relations between Auradon and The Isle of the Lost. You keep trying to find reasons to hate him, but he’s not giving you any. (FLUFF) (ARRANGED MARRIAGE AU)
HARRY POTTER
OLIVER WOOD
☆ Census: Oliver Wood x Fem!Muggle!Reader | 1.7K words
You’re filling out the census when you realise you may need to confront exactly how little you know about Oliver. (FLUFF)
HEADCANONS
☆ Imagine going on a muggle date with Oliver (FLUFF)
THE HAUNTING OF BLY MANOR
JAMIE TAYLOR
☆☆ Call Me Maybe: Jamie Taylor x Fem!Reader | 1.3K words
Jamie misses the maid that used to work at Bly Manor, she misses Jamie more. One day Jamie gets a call from the maid that just makes everything worse. (AUTHOR'S FAVE) (ANGST)
HSMTMTS
NINI SALAZAR-ROBERTS
☆☆☆ Strikes and Strike-Outs: Nini Salazar-Roberts x Reader | 1.7K words
When Nini invited you to go bowling after exams finished, you weren’t expecting her ex-boyfriend to be there. But apparently she’s not as ready to face him as she thinks she is. (AUTHOR'S FAVE) (FLUFF) (COLLEGE AU)
MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE
BUCKY BARNES
☆ Connection: Bucky Barnes x Reader | 601 words
When your wifi goes out, you try to guess your cute neighbour’s password, but you might find out a little more than the wifi password. (FLUFF)
☆☆ Make Her Happy: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Adopted!Stark!Reader | 1.9K words
Steve loves Tony’s adopted daughter, but she loves Bucky. He loves her, so he’s willing to let her go. As long as she’s happy. All that matters is that she’s happy. (AUTHOR'S FAVE) (FLUFF)
HEADCANONS
☆ Imagine playing the Sims with Bucky (FLUFF)
TEAM STARKID
CLARK BAXTRESSER
☆☆ Homecoming: Clark Baxtresser x Reader | 824 words
You and Clark haven’t seen each other since he left for New York. But when all the Starkids get together for a concert, you get to see him again. You haven’t told the fans yet, but when Liam’s filming behind the scenes of homecoming, the two of you are so caught up in your reunion, that you forget all about them. (AUTHOR'S FAVE) (FLUFF)
ETHAN GREEN
☆☆ Cool With Me : Ethan Green x Sister!Reader | 1K words
You don’t want to tell your brother that you want his wife present for the birth of your child rather than him, but he manages to find out anyway. (FLUFF) (FAMILY)
YOU
JOE GOLDBERG
☆☆ Like She Does: Joe Goldberg x Fem!Reader | 839 words
Joe comforts you through the death of your sister, knowing the whole time he caused it. (FLUFF) (NSFW)
THEO ENGLER
☆ Book Club: Theo Engler x Reader | 973 words
You and Theo have never gotten along, until you realise one thing that you both have in common. (FLUFF)
☆ Love and Trust: Theo Engler x Reader | 957 words
You thought you found your person in Theo, he found it in his married neighbour. That was all before she tried to murder him. (FLUFF)
☆ Lover: Theo Engler x Fem!Reader | 828 words
You and your best friend have been out of sync for a while. Hopefully a quickie in the backyard will help. (NSFW)
☆☆ Regular Shaped Mistakes: Theo Engler x Fem!Reader | 1.1K words
You storm over to yell at Theo after he yells at your mom, but you may have interupted something. (MOST RECENT) (NSFW)
☆ Welcome Back: Theo Engler x Fem!Reader | 908 words
Your boyfriend wants to show you just how much he missed you while he was away. Unfortunately, he can’t wait until after school. (NSFW)
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sylviebrettisthebest · 13 hours ago
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Well. I could tell from about halfway through that the episode wasn’t going to end up the way I expected and that Casey had no intention of bringing the boys to Chicago. I still wasn’t expecting him to be written out though. I’ve been in the mad on behalf of Sylvie and Kara stage since the episode finished and I’m still there but the sadness has set in now. I feel like I’ve been strung along and I’m not convinced Derek didn’t know Jesse wanted to leave last season. But I’m not writing this in my immediate post-episode rage like I have for the past two weeks. This post is for me to get all my thoughts out in one place. It’s not to try to convince you that I’m right and I don’t think you’re wrong if you disagree with me. It got a bit long so I’ve put it under the cut.
Casey
I absolutely hate this exit storyline for him and don’t think it does Casey justice at all. I don’t see it as the show coming full circle or him getting a family. Casey walked away from his entire life, including his last chance to have a family of his own (no chance Brett’s waiting 3 years for him especially at her age), his biggest dream and something we’ve known since the pilot. I don’t see it as honourable. He had options. It wasn’t an impossible situation no matter how much Derek wants to convince people it was. He listened to one single social worker and didn’t try to fight. At all. He didn’t try to speak to Heather, another social worker or a lawyer. He just accepted what one person said. This does not show Casey in a good light imo. He’s too passive and self-sacrificing and his hopes and dreams are going to be left unfulfilled because of it.
They’re pushing the narrative of this being a positive thing because Casey gets the family he’s always wanted. I couldn’t have a more different view. I remember the look on Casey’s face when he delivered a baby at a crash site. I remember the look of awe on his face when he told Hallie about it. I remember the look on his face when Louie called him daddy. I remember when he didn’t want Dawson to risk her life to have a baby. All that to say, Casey wants to raise children with a wife. He will not get that Oregon. Not even close. And in that sense he leaves the series with no growth or change from the pilot. That’s one of the worst aspects of this.
Jesse
I completely understand his need to take a break and hope he gets everything he needs from it. Thinking back over Casey’s storylines I’ve honestly hated more of them than I’ve liked (Louie, alderman, Stiletto’s, Dardens 2.0). It really is a testament to Jesse’s acting - which imo is the best on the show along with Eamonn’s - that I’ve enjoyed Casey as much as I have done. The show is definitely going to be poorer without him.
Sylvie
Yet again one of her partners has something in his life more important than her. There was no discussion about Oregon whatsoever - it was presented as a done deal. I’m glad Brett said no to moving. I’m fed up of Sylvie being left. If Casey in Oregon is a permanent thing, and I’m going to assume it is, I truly wish they’d put her with Grainger instead last season. He could have easily been on screen more than the wives are because he’s a firefighter so we would have seen a decent amount of their relationship and him not being a main character would probably have meant fewer relationship dramas.
Kara
I feel terrible for her. She loves Sylvie with all her heart and just wants her to be in love and be loved and she gets this. The abuse she’s had over the last two years is disgusting and all for a ship she didn’t even want, Derek did. And this is how it ends. Yet another woman getting shafted. I obviously don’t blame Derek for Jesse leaving - although like I said I have my doubts about when he found out - but I do blame Derek for the way he constantly pits fandoms against each other and baits them. He has contributed on some level to the abuse Kara has received .
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This is all Kara wants for Sylvie and it’s so far away now.
The episode in general
I said in my DMs before the episode I was worried they had too much to get through and it would feel rushed and it did. No storyline got the attention it deserved and everyone felt stuck in pairs or trios with little overlap or a common thread between their plots. It’s as though they tried for both an ensemble episode and Casey-focused episode but missed the mark on both.
Also no final cigar chat? Not showing the moment Casey told everyone he was leaving? There were some nice touches like the goodbye hug with the OGs - Eamonn was outstanding and made me cry - but some of the writing seemed thoughtless. As another example I thought it would have been a nice touch for Casey to have spoken to the alderman and arranged to have Boden’s office moved back to 51 - making sure Boden returns as he leaves. Kylie’s fine but in the 200th episode and the one in which your lead leaves that kind of plot was unnecessary. Casey’s exit and the episode as a whole were lacklustre.
The future of Brettsey
My opinion: if Jesse’s not going to come back permanently by the end of the season and/ or Kara doesn’t leave before season 11 then split Brettsey up sooner rather than later and give Brett a good partner. She has needs and dreams that Casey can’t fulfil on the other side of the country. I want to see her be loved, get married and have kids. If Casey can’t do that, someone else needs to. No way should they leave Sylvie in limbo because Jesse might possibly come back at some point. My ultimate ship is Brett + happiness, whoever that’s with. I don’t want her left in no man’s land. A LDR for half a year or so I could get on board with but not 3 years.
Having said all that all I really know is this sucks and I don’t see how it can get better.
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itsjustmyfantasyroom · 2 days ago
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The friend.
This whole series is based on the one comment that was made to Racehorse towards the end of his episode about him having a daughter. There are no spoilers of the episode and I have been lucky enough that my amazing friend @beccabarba  has co written every second chapter of this 10 part series about this amazing cocky and smug man, who we both love!
Warnings: sets the story line, smug and cocky Racehorse and oral smut. 
WC: 2159
Enjoy x
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The fashion industry was cut throat as it was, but in Chicago it was even worse. The backstabbing and the stepping over each other, was next level, but you copped it from another aspect, and sometimes that was harder to deal with. You were born into it, your family one of the most famous in the industry. Much to your mothers disappointment, you hadn’t been born with the fashion gene, but you handled the other aspect of the business. You were the inhouse lawyer; you were head of PR and you also managed the models.
Some would say you were one of the most powerful women in the company and sometimes in the industry, the models holding their success in the palm of your hand, so that was held against you a lot. Some looked up to you and others tried to be your friend just for your power alone. But you kept your group small, and as you got older you hired models not just because of their beauty, anyone could be made to look beautiful, but you actually got to know them. The last thing you wanted to be doing was spending a long summer with a bunch boring pretty two-faced people.
Eliana was one of those amazing models. She was extremely beautiful, down to earth, fun to work with, fun to party with and she was actually a friend. You spent so much time together that you both knew everything about each other, about your families and everything in your past. She had been with your families company coming on 3 years, you had been to every photo shoot with her, every fashion week she was in and every abroad trip she had been on, personal training sessions almost every day and multiple late nights out drinking and dancing. You hadn’t been in your office for long when your phone buzzed, Eliana’s number flashing on your screen,
“Happy Birthday, Chica”
“Gracias linda. Thank you for the hamper, I love it”
“Welcome” you smiled over the phone.
“Please tell me your coming tonight?”
“Eliana-“
“Don’t you Eliana me. Babe, you’re not too old. No one hates you and I really want you there. Your one of my best friends”
“Only because it’s your birthday”
As you drove up the drive to the mansion that was hired for the party, you weren’t surprised at the size of it. Eliana had told you all about the strained relationship with her parents and how they both over compensated finically when she asked for it. You had heard all about her Dad’s career, that she didn’t know much about other than he was a lawyer and how her Mum moved on with guys half her age to get back at him, you knew how much they fought and about how he still wore his wedding band even after he spilt from her mother just to save face and make everyone think he was a happily married man.
The music was blaring when you got out of the car, a valet taking your keys to move it and you walked inside. You made your way around the luxurious party, gold champagne glasses being passed around on gold trays, an over-the-top table covered from one end to the other with finger food and when you walked out the backdoors, round white tables scattered over the lawn with over-the-top gold center pieces and people scattered everywhere. You had just taken a glass of champagne when you heard your name shrieked across the yard. Eliana walking towards you like she was on the cat walk,
“Happy Birthday, babe.”
“Thanks, babe. I’ am so glad you came” she wrapped her arms around you pulling you in for a big hug and she kissed your cheek “Wouldn’t have been the same without you” Eliana pulled back, her hands going to your shoulders and her eyes scanning down your body in your powder blue short dress shorts, powder blue tank top and matching blazer “And you look fucking sexy”
You had felt his eyes on you from the moment you walked into the back yard, you blushing at how his brown eyes burnt through you. Everywhere you turned or whomever you spoke to, you could see him watching you. You were speaking to one of the other models you managed when you looked over his shoulder, seeing the handsome stranger standing there on his side. His salt and pepper hair and beard in place perfectly, his grey dress pants fitting just tight enough, his white button-down fitting snug around his chest, his sleeves rolled up showing off his amazing wrists and arms, and the black cowboy boots that made you grin. He must have sensed you starring and he turned his head, giving you a wink and raised his glass to you, his long fingers wrapped around it.
The night was flowing smoothly, mostly everyone you worked with was friendly and talkative. You had a dance and food. You had decided on one more drink after you went to the bathroom to freshen up, your last for the night and just so you had a drink for when the cake was cut. As you washed your hands and reapplied some lipstick, you could hear a voice that made you shiver through the door at the tone it was being spoken in. You listened for moment and then opened the door, gasping when you came face to face with the handsome stranger that you had been eyeing up all night,
“I have to go” His eyes locked with yours, slipping the phone in his pocket once he hung up. You saw the cheeky glint fill them and a wolfish grin spread across his face “I was hoping I would get to bump into you, sweetums. Having a good night so far?”
Your mouth was too quick for your head, the words coming out before you could stop them,
“Better now I’ve bumped into you” you smiled sweetly.
A chuckle left him, his thumb and pointer finger ran around his mouth, smoothed down the beard on his chin and he looked down at his watch. You saw him raise his eye brow and then look back at you, he reaching for your hand and pulled you down the hall way to another door. He opened the door pushing it open and pulled you into the room shutting it behind you both. Your eyes did a quick scan of the four-poster king sized bed before he came up to you grabbing your attention again,
“So beautiful” He pulled you into him, his body flush with yours his hands going to your hips and he dipped his head, his lips ghosting yours “Any objections?” he muttered.
“None” you moaned when he pulled your hips into him.
His hot wet lips crashed on yours, the taste of whiskey still on them and his tongue pushed into your mouth, your mouth opening willingly and your tongue’s rolled and moved together. You moaned into his mouth when you felt his hand move from your hip to the hem on your shorts, up your thigh and slip into your panties. His fingers moving through your wet folds. You broke the kiss with a gasp when two of his long fingers pushed up into you, his other hand going into your hair and pulling your head back. Your mouth dropping open when a third fingers joined the others and the pad of his thumb found your clit easily,
“Such a filthy girl, coming into a room with a stranger”
You laughed breathlessly, his fingers driving into you hard and deep,
“I ‘am not the filthy one” you panted out “Always go knuckles deep with women you meet outside of a bathroom?” you moaned, your hands going to grab onto his thick forearms when he hit your sweet spot.
“Cheeky and filthy. My favourite combination” You saw him bite his bottom lip and look down his nose at you as his fingers drove into you again and he rolled your clit.
You tried not to scream loud while you came hard on his fingers, your walls clamping down on him hard and your knees trembled, your whole-body filling with warmth and your heart beating hard in your chest. Slowly his grip in your hair loosened and he pulled his fingers out of you. As he brought his hand up to your eye line, you could see the shine of your wet on them and he grabbed one of your hands guiding it to cup his hard cock behind his zipper.
You smiled sweetly, grabbing his writs with your other hand and wrapped your mouth around his fingers, your tongue running over them. Without taking his fingers out of your mouth, he took his hand off yours on his crotch moving it to the back of your neck and he pushed you down. He only needed to do it gently and you followed his instructions sinking to your knees with his fingers still in your mouth and his hand on the back of your neck. Once you were on your knees, he pulled his fingers out of your mouth with a pop and you licked your lips,
“Want to see how filthy I can really be?” you purred.
You saw his eyes go black and a growl rumbled in his chest. He made quick work undoing his belt buckle and zipper, pushing down his pants and boxers, his hard thick cock almost hitting your face when it sprung from his boxers. Your eyes blew open and heat swept through you again at the size of him. His thumb and pointer finger grabbed your chin, tipping your head back, your eyes focused on his again,
“Open wide, my sweet”
Your mouth opened and he rested the tip of his cock to your bottom lip. You stuck your tongue out slightly licking his tip and he let out an almost silent grunt biting his bottom lip. You gave him a cheeky wink, leaning forward and taking him fully into your mouth. You relaxed your throat and took him as deep as you could sinking right down to his base, his black curly hair tickling your nose. You ran your mouth back up to his tip hollowing your cheeks, licking around it like a melting popsicle and sinking back down on him again.
Both your hands rested on his thighs, feeling his muscles tensing when you licked over his tip, his precum coating your tongue. Both of his hands threaded into your hair resting at the back of your head, his fingertips pressing into your skull. You had to squeeze your legs together tight for some relief from how the sounds you were pulling from him turned you on. One of your hands left his thigh to cup his balls, squeezing them gently and your other ran around to his right ass cheek, cupping his firm flesh massaging it lightly,
“Such a dirty girl, taking my cock so well” he grunted.
You felt his hands ball into fists in your hair holding your head still as he started to roll his hips into your mouth fast and deep, his cock hitting the back of your throat, tears running down your cheeks and saliva dripping out of the corners of your mouth. You pushed him into you by his behind and you played with his balls in your hand. He let out a loud groan and a string of swear words, his hot salty cum spilt into your mouth and trickled down your throat. You sucked him clean, feeling him softening on your tongue before he pulled out, he leaning down wiping one corner of your mouth dry with his thumb.    
You hadn’t gotten his name and hadn’t gotten his number, his phone ringing just as he zipped himself away and he just walked out of the room without a word, so you went about your business back outside talking and being social. Happy Birthday had been sung and the cake had been cut. You were talking to a mutual friend, when you heard your name, turning around to see Eliana walking towards you with the handsome stranger that was knuckles deep in you not to long ago,
“Y/N” she walked up to you, linking her arm in yours “I want you to meet my dad, Richardo Diaz. Dad, this is my boss and best friend Y/N Y/L/N”
Your mouth dropped open and your heart stopped as he coolly reached his hand out to you like his cock wasn’t just in your mouth less than 30 minutes ago. You reached out taking his hand in yours shaking it and giving him a small tight smile and trying to hide your bright red cheeks,
“Please, young lady” he looked at Eliana with his eye brows raised “My name is Racehorse, only my mother calls me Richardo. Nice to meet you, Y/N”  
Tags: @beccabarba​ @alwaysachorusgirl​ @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo​ @ben-c-group-therapy​ @jemmakates​
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made-by-jade-222 · 23 hours ago
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A Peek Inside My Brain
You should kill your mom.
Violent-instrusive-thoughts ten times a day.
Cursing makes them go away.
Fuck, or Death, or Hell
If I don’t speak, I gotta move, so on those thoughts I do not dwell.
Fuzzy brain, cotton brain, electrocuted too,
Only way I can describe them to you
Body warm, hard to breathe, random pangs of pain
Empathy comes and goes, and apathy seems to reign
Other people are inconsequential, I only care about myself
But I love them, I love them! I just put them on the shelf
I cannot meet your needs, I cannot meet your eyes
Everything’s always too loud, and my brain always cries
It’s always something with me.
I disrupt the fun. So, I go off to hide.
Then someone makes the mistake of coming inside.
They get overloaded and overwhelmed by my mental health issues
But to be fair they’re the ones who asked. Someone hand me a tissue.
Pills to take, water to chug, journaling to do.
Minutes in reality I only spend a few.
I spend time in my world with people I’ve created. Ones who know me, who love me, and ones who are elated, when I share and confess, or I move and progress.
I can’t get too happy.
I can’t get too sad.
I can’t get excited.
I can’t get too mad.
Social cues are hard.
They’re things I don’t understand.
I only want to have a space
A space of my own
A safe place
I wish everyone knew so I didn’t have to act or prove
Don’t have to act like everything’s fine
Because everyone knows what’s wrong with my mind
I have nothing else to talk about
But you talk about school
That’s all you talk about
How is this different
Stupid small talk
I’m done thinking you’ll ever understand
I don’t fucking care anymore
I’m tired of trying and trying and trying
When I don’t want to put in the effort
You’re not worth it
There’s nothing in it for me
And if you don’t understand
Then I can’t ever be free
I’d constantly have to explain myself
And I’d give you books
Only for you to put them on the shelf
I just want relief
Just one fucking label
But until then I’ll sit at the table
One word that explains it all
One word that makes me feel small
One word that helps explain
What I feel and why I’m in pain
You’d treat me different, I know
But if it makes you be nicer to me, I wouldn’t say no
Once people know you have something
And that something’s a big deal
They’ll either reject or over-compensate
And sometimes their kindness isn’t real
I’d rather that instead of this fake and hate
The girl who brings the room down
Who never shuts up about her mental health
Why can’t she be happy for once
Doesn’t she know we all have our own shit
We didn’t ask to hear about it
We didn’t consent, not one bit
But we won’t communicate that
Because it’d be impolite
So we’ll smile and nod
And be passive aggressive all night
And you wonder why I isolate
You wonder why I cry
You wonder why I’ve given up
You wonder why I don’t bother to try
You wonder why I’m not happy 24/7
My online persona makes it like heaven
Someone wants a friend? Send me a DM!
But this is what makes it so hard.
This is why I can’t talk every day.
I don’t want to fake it.
I don’t want to lead you on.
Because that’s just cruel.
Better to talk occasionally and not get too attached than force it every day.
I’m sorry. But I didn’t ask to be this way.
So many broken people
Who need help and support
But I can’t do it all the time
Abort
So I hope this helps you understand
Why I am the way I am
I’m not a total jerk
I’m not a total dick
I’m just a human girl
With a fucked up brain
And a burned out candle wick
My wax pools and spills on the floor
And I wonder again
Have I done this before?
Yes I have, and I’ve had enough
And now to sweet sleep
Where my dreams are void
The black behind my eyelids
Is a comfort and cold
Eventually things will get better
Eventually I’ll be okay
Eventually things will end
And I’ll make it through another day
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When I Needed You Most (4) k. bakugo
warnings: idk lmk
note: i’m really enjoying writing this☺️ and I forgot to mention in the first part, this is fem!reader fic. Idk the pairing quite yet. It’s a Bakugo fic, but idk who [y/n] is ending up with quite yet lol.
Prompt: You are in your third and final year at UA, when you find out you’re pregnant with Katsuki Bakugo’s baby. The two of you have been together all three years of high school, and you love him with all of your heart. But will you still love him when he breaks up with you after finding out about the pregnancy? What will he do when his best friend, Eijiro Kirishima, takes over his boyfriend duties when he leaves you?
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Having to explain to her mother why she has dropped out of school and is moving back in, wasn’t exactly the easiest thing either.
She felt weird just barging in, so instead she knocked. Shuffling is heard on the other side of the door before Inko answers. “Izuku! [Y/n]! What a surprise! Come on in!” their mother exclaims, stepping aside and allowing the twins to enter the apartment. “What brings you guys home today? It’s the middle of the week.”
“I dropped out,” [y/n] blurts, not exactly meaning to.
Izuku looks at her wide eyed, mirroring their mother. “What do you mean you dropped out? Why on earth would you drop out? You’ve always dreamed of becoming a Hero,” Inko presses.
“I’m pregnant, Mama,” she hangs her head. “So I couldn’t stay in school; not only for the baby’s health, but to keep UA’s reputation on point.” she says, her arms wrapped around her stomach.
“You’re pregnant?” Inko approaches her daughter.
“Mhm,” [y/n] nods.
“Is Katsuki the father?”
“Mhm.”
“Where is he?” Inko looks around for Katsuki.
“We broke up, Mama. He left me when he found out,” her eyes tear up at the memory of Bakugo yelling at her.
“Oh, honey,” Inko pulls [y/n] into a hug. “You still have Izuku and I,” she says.
“Yeah, I know. Bakugo and I talked though,” she says once they pull away.
“You did?” Izuku looks at his sister in confusion.
“Yeah. He apologized for everything he said, he told me he regretted everything.” [y/n] explains.
“That doesn’t make it right,” says Izuku.
“He knows that. He said we’re better off apart, but he wants to be in the baby’s life.”
“But Kacchan hates kids,” Izuku says in disbelief.
“I guess when it’s his kid, it’s different.” [y/n] shrugs. “Oh I almost forgot!” she smacks her forehead. “Kirishima!” she walks out the door and approaches the car.
“I was beginning to think you forgot about me,” he chuckles as he exits the drivers side.
“How could I forget about the one who drove us here?” she chuckles in return.
“Do I get an introduction?” Inko questions from the doorway.
“Mama, this is-”
“Hi, Mrs. Midoriya!” Kirishima approaches Inko. “I’m Eijiro Kirishima, nice to meet you,” he puts his hand out.
She shakes his hand with a smile on her face. “Please, call me Inko! Mrs. Midoriya makes me feel old.” she says kindly.
“Well it is very nice to meet you, Inko,” Kirishima nods.
“What is your relation to my daughter?” Inko crosses her arms.
“He’s just a friend, Mama,” [y/n] says, grabbing a box out of the back of Kirishima’s car.
Kirishima couldn’t help but frown at the title ‘just a friend’, but quickly recovered and rushed over to [y/n]’s side. “I told you I got the boxes, you shouldn’t be heavy lifting,” he says, taking the box out of her hands.
“Thank you, Kiri,” she smiles up at him, making his heart flutter.
“Your room is untouched,” says Inko as [Y/n] and Kirishima pass by and enter the apartment.
“Thanks, Mama,” [y/n] says, leading Kirishima back to her room.
“You can just put that box on the bed,” [Y/n] points to the twin sized bed in the corner of the room.
“Damn,” says Kirishima. “Your room is adorable. Like I’d expect,” he smiles at her, placing the box on the bed.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She chuckles.
“A cute room for a cute girl,” he clarifies.
“Kiri,” —she giggles— “are you hitting on me?”
“No! I mean, yeah! But no,” he says, shaking his head and his hands.
“You confused me,” [y/n] looks at him with a confusion filled face.
“I confused myself,” he chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Well you shouldn’t be hitting on her this soon after her breakup.” their heads snap in the direction of the doorway.
“Bakugo?” they say in unison as they see the ash blond leaning against the door frame, his hands holding a box as he watches the two.
“In the flesh,” he grins, making his way towards her bed and placing the box next to the one Kirishima places.
“What are you doing here?” [Y/n] questions.
“I wanted to help,” he shrugs.
[Y/n] looks at him in confusion. “Why?”
“It’s my fault you had to drop out of school. So why not help you move out of the dorms?”
“Bakugo, it’s not just your fault. It was a two person job,” she chuckles.
“Yeah, I know.” he shrugs once more. “I also feel bad for being such a dick,” he hangs his hand, his hands in his pockets. “Plus, Mr. Aizawa might have made me make sure you guys got here safely.” he says quietly.
“Why would Mr. Aizawa make you follow us?” Kirishima questions.
“He’s just worried is all. He’s confused as to why [Y/n] dropped out when she’s one of the strongest out of all of us in class A. His words, not mine,” he puts his hands up in mock surrender, causing [y/n] to giggle.
“You mean he doesn’t know why you dropped out?” Kirishima looks at her with furrowed brows.
“No one does. When I dropped out, Nezu questioned why, I just said personal reasons. He didn’t question any further. I don’t exactly want my teachers knowing about my sex life. Y’know?” she shrugs.
“[Y/n], Mr. Aizawa literally scolded us for being so loud one weekend. I think it’s safe to say, he knows we have sex.” Bakugo laughs.
“I try to block that out,” she laughs with him.
Kirishima looks back and forth between the two, confused as to how they’re both so chill after how they ended things.
“What’d I miss?” Izuku questions, entering the room with a box in his hands.
“Nothing,” [Y/n] laughs.
“That was the last box,” Izuku says, smiling as he places it on the bed.
“You only have three boxes?” Bakugo questions.
“Yeah. I didn’t bring that much to the dorms in the first place,” she smiles.
The four of them unpack the boxes, Bakugo taking the time to admire the fact that [Y/n] kept their photos after what he did.
“You okay, Kacchan?” Izuku questions.
“Yeah,” he shakes his head to free himself of his thoughts. “I’m fine.”
He watches as Kirishima and [Y/n] laugh and joke around the way him and [y/n] used to before they got together.
He couldn’t help the jealousy that started to run through his veins at the thought of his best friend dating his [y/n].
But then he remembers: he dumped her, and he’ll never get her back.
End Chapter
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lixiepeach · 2 days ago
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Love Bites, Part 3
Summary: Fourty-seven years ago, Y/N’s life ended after a chance encounter at a nightclub with her now vampire sire Hyunjin. The arrogant ex-prince has hated her since that night, blaming her for everything and has made it his goal for the rest of eternity to make sure she knows it.
Another chance encounter has her pining after a very human university student. She knows getting close to him will put his life at risk, but she can’t help but be drawn in by his sweet nature and adorable smile. What happens when her vengeful sire learns of her interest in the human boy? Can she save him or will Hyunjin ruin everything once again?
Characters: Vampire!Chan, Vampire!Minho, Vampire!Changbin, Vampire!Hyunjin, Vampire!Jisung, Vampire!Felix, Human!Seungmin, Human!Jeongin, Vampire!Reader
Pairing: Starts Hyunjin x reader, but endgame is Jeongin x reader
Warnings: Blood (it’s vampires so…), violence, Hyunjin is a major asshole, abuse, fighting, smut
MASTERLIST
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You sit under the lamppost, watching the doors. Jeongin’s jacket is in your arms, ready to be returned. You hadn’t told him you were stopping by to drop it off, and you were starting to have doubts. Would he be in class? What if he wasn't? He hadn’t missed a day yet, but what if that changed? What if he was sick? He hadn’t said anything about being sick while you had been texting everyday, but you remembered how finicky human digestive systems were. One bad meal could put someone down for a day or two out of nowhere. 
Did he even want to see you again? You had been talking non-stop for a week, but what if that was all he wanted? What if he was just talking to you to be nice and wasn’t interested? You try to shove the thoughts away, but that nervous tick starts back up as the sound of footsteps reaches your ears. Class was over and you were about to come face to face with him again. 
He looks tired, almost missing you as he leaves the building. You approach him, a frown maring his features for a moment before he recognizes you. 
“Hey.” He says. “I wasn’t expecting you.” 
“Yeah, I was in the area and thought I would drop this off.” You hand him the jacket. You’re a little sad to let it go, but it was starting to lose its scent. 
“Oh, thanks.” 
“I, uh, I’ll let you get home. You’re probably tired.” 
“Would you...want to come over? For a bit? I won’t be able to sleep for a while and I thought maybe we could get to know each other a bit more?” 
You try to hide your giddiness, wanting to play it cool. “Sure! I’d love to.” 
“Great!” He looks just as happy, heart thumping in his chest. “Come on. It’s not very far.” 
You follow him, already knowing the route, but you hide that fact. You’d never seen the entirety of the inside of the house. You knew what Jeongin’s bedroom looked like, and what the kitchen looked like from the windows, but the rest was a mystery that you had filled in with your imagination. Now you are going to get to see it firsthand. 
It’s cleaner than you expected it to be. Even six vampire men were still men and your house got messy sometimes. But for a house that had three male residents, the house is surprisingly tidy. 
“Seungmin really wants us to get our deposit back so we make sure things stay clean.” Jeongin explains as you sit on the couch. 
“I was going to say it’s very clean in here for a house with boys in it. I would know, I live with seven.”
“Tell me about them?” He asks, sitting on the couch across from you. 
“Well, there’s not a lot to tell. Felix is the oldest. He watches out for us, provides for us a lot. Chan kind of became dad for a while. He takes care of us, bosses us around. Hyunjin...he and I don’t get along. He’s...dramatic and always wants his way and will throw tantrums when he doesn't get it. We get into fights a lot. Minho is mom. He acts like he hates us but deep down he really does care about us. Jisung is loud but sweet. Kinda skittish but in a cute way. And Changbin is loud and very energetic. He really loves annoying us. Then there’s my uncle. The crazy guy who decided to take us all in. He’s kind but he can be strict too. He just wants the best for us. Wants to keep us safe.”  You had practiced this over and over, knowing he was going to ask about your family. You couldn’t just tell him the truth, so you had made up your lie. Well, it wasn’t entirely a lie. “How about you?” 
He shrugs. “Just my parents and I have two brothers. Seungmin is like a third brother to me. We met a few years ago and when we found out we were going to the same school we decided to be roommates. There’s also Young Hyun who works nights so we don’t see him very often. He’s a friend of Seungmin’s.” He’s quiet for a moment. “What happened to your parents, if you don’t mind me asking.” 
You shake your head. “They...died a few years ago.” They had. Your parents had passed before the turn of the century. You had visited their graves, unable to attend their funerals. You hadn’t been close. In fact, you would have been shocked to learn they knew you had gone missing. “It was quiet, peaceful. Nothing violent. I was young enough that I don't really remember them.” 
“I’m sorry.” 
You shrug. “It happened a long time ago. I’ve got my brothers still so it’s not all bad.” You really did care about the guys. They had been kinder to you than anyone ever had, sans Hyunjin, especially given the difficult situation you had gone through. 
"Maybe I could meet them someday."
"Oh I don't know if I would feel right subjecting you to that. They're...a lot. They're very protective. Though, if you needed guinea pigs for new video games I'm sure they'd volunteer for that."
"I'll keep that in mind." He grins, showing his dimples. You could melt in a puddle. 
You sit and talk with him for a while, keeping a watchful eye on the time. You didn’t want to keep him up too late, but you also didn’t want to get stuck out when dawn broke. 
“I really should get going.” You say after a couple hours. You can see how tired Jeongin is, and you don’t want to keep him up any longer. 
“You don’t have to.” He says, suppressing a yawn. 
You smile softly. “You’re tired and if I’m out too late my brothers might send a search party.” 
He nods, suppressing another yawn. “You could come over again, if you wanted.” 
You nod. “I’d like that. Just let me know when you’re free some evening and I’ll swing by.” 
He nods, walking you to the door. “I really like spending time with you.” He says. You’re not sure if it’s the exhaustion talking or if he really is being sincere. “I wish we could spend more time together. But winter break is coming up soon. Maybe we could get together?” 
You nod. “I’d like that.” 
He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your cheek. His eyes are about as wide as yours, and you’re sure you’re blushing. You hadn’t fed that long ago, so there was still blood in your system. Could you be capable of blushing still? 
You’re sure you’re floating as you walk down the sidewalk. You have to be. You feel tingly, lightheaded. It’s strange after decades of feeling nothing. You were in deep now. There was no coming back out. Despite the constant danger you put him in, you were being sucked in by Jeongin and you weren’t going to be able to let him go. 
There was only one big problem. 
*************
1974
“Why do you have to do this? You’re always getting me in trouble!” He yells at you. You’re cowered in the corner, afraid of the angry vampire. 
“Maybe if you actually took care of me-” 
“You should be capable of caring for yourself! It’s not my fault I’m stuck like this with you! Why should I have to watch out for you like some little baby?” 
You can’t help it, the tears trickling down your cheeks, staining your white shirt. He hated you, but he hated you more when you cried. 
“Stop it!” He grabs your arms, shaking you. “Stop fucking crying!” 
You can’t, bloody tears still rolling as you stare up at him. “I-I’m sorry...” 
“You’re sorry?” He laughs. “Sorry? You’re going to get all of us killed, you stupid girl. Going out like that in a crowd, what did you expect to happen?” 
“I was just lonely...” 
He scoffs. “Lonely? You have no idea what it means to really be lonely.” 
He shoves you against the wall, the drywall cracking in protest. It would be the first of many holes and cracks. He leaves your room, slamming the door so hard it shakes. You slide to the floor, trying to get the tears to stop. This was becoming normal, you being the focus of Hyunjin’s anger and tantrums. His neglect and indifference had been one thing. But his anger was another. 
The door opens a few moments later, Minho slipping in. You brace yourself for another scolding, but instead he squats in front of you, pulling out a packet of baby wipes. He gently cleans the blood off your face, catching the new droplets as they fall from your eyes. 
“Calm down.” He says, his touch soft as he cleans you up. “You need to relax.” 
“Why is he so mean to me?” You ask, voice shaking slightly. 
“He’s always been like that. His problems are everyone else’s fault but his own. Felix tries his best, but he’s trying to knock sense into a brick wall. We can keep you from it to a point. But intervening could make things worse for you. We don’t want you getting hurt.” 
“I try really hard.” 
“We know. That’s why we never blame you for it. You’re still a newborn. You’re still learning. The first few years are the most important and it’s Hyunjin’s fault for not being there to help you. I can’t say it won’t happen again. But we’ll always be here when it does.” 
*************
2021
You’ve been sneaking out to see Jeongin for a few weeks now. You didn’t get out often, due to his busy schedule preparing for winter break, and your inability to be out in the daytime. You had made up some excuse for that, blaming sensitivity to light and a weird sleep schedule due to the last job you worked. He didn’t mind being up late, at least on the weekends, but of course that meant you got little time to yourselves. 
You had thought observing him from afar had you whipped, but being with him made you realize you were in love. Perhaps it had been the decades of lack of interaction that had made you fall so fast, or perhaps it was just Jeongin. You hadn’t done more than a bit of hand holding and a few kisses on the cheek. You made sure to always feed before seeing him, not wanting your icy skin to raise any questions now that you were starting to get closer. You weren’t sure exactly how he felt, but you always heard the pounding of his heart when you were close, the sweet tone to his scent. You would wait for him to confess though, not wanting to risk scaring him off. You’re not sure you could handle that heartbreak after decades of unhappiness. 
You’ve tried to be careful, getting back before dawn, but after the others have settled in. Felix knew, of course, but he knew everything. The others no doubt had their suspicions about you disappearing every so often for the entire night and not bringing a body back with you. So far you had been lucky though, Hyunjin seemed oblivious to this routine, engrossed in whatever he was engrossed in at the moment. 
Until he wasn’t. 
He jumps you when you get home one day. You’re in a particularly good mood after doing nothing but lounging on Jeongin’s bed listening to him talk through one of his assignments. It may have seemed dull, but you loved it. 
Hyunjin appears out of the darkness and pushes you up against the wall, the plaster creaking in protest. “And where have you been sneaking off to every night?” 
“Nowhere.” You say, trying to brush him off. “And it’s not every night.” 
“I don’t think so. You come home smelling like humans. Just want to make sure you’re not getting into trouble.” 
You roll your eyes. “Since when do you care?” You shove past him, going into your room. 
“Since you’re putting us all in danger.” 
You snort. “I’m putting us in danger? You bringing that human woman here was far more dangerous.” 
“She wasn’t going to tell anyone. Even if she did, no one would believe her. I took proper care of her, as we do with all humans.” 
You can’t help but bristle a bit at that. Any human that found out about your existence had two options. Either become a vampire too, or die. Most of them ended up with the latter option. If Jeongin ever found out...
Your moment of weakness gives him everything he needs, your body meeting the wall again. Hyunjin was fast, faster than any vampire you had ever met, except perhaps for Taecyeon, but his had come with his age. 
“Don’t tell me you’re jealous.” He smirks, nosing at your neck. “Humans are nothing. They only have two uses.” 
“You just wanted a quick feed and your dick wet.” You snap. 
He grips your throat, staring down at you with dark eyes. “You should know. Remember when that was you? How eagerly you let me fuck you in that alleyway. You would have wound up in the furnace that night if Felix and Chan hadn’t shown up and ruined everything.” 
You press yourself as far back against the wall as you can, shoving him away from you. He slides back across the room, glaring at you. “You’re the one who was killing people every night in a tantrum. You made the decision to do that. You did it to yourself!” 
He’s on you quickly, shoving you to the floor. You land on your back, his knee digging into your chest. “You could have said no. You chose to come to me. And now I’m stuck with you.” 
It was his favorite counter argument. Ever since day one it was the thing he loved to rub in your face. His reasoning for why he hated you, even though it was his fault. He blamed all of his problems on you, even if you weren’t directly involved. Always somehow it related back to him being stuck as your sire. In truth, he should be blaming Felix for making him change you, but he knew better than to try the eldest vampire. You were the easiest scapegoat so you had to pay. 
You wrap your legs around him, putting all of your weight and energy into flipping him off of you. You’re silently thankful to Minho for teaching you a little about fighting. You weren’t the only vampires in the area, but your paths rarely crossed with each other. However, one could never be too careful. Rogue vampires were always a possibility, and they may try to challenge feeding ground rights with whatever vampire they come across. Minho had focused more on teaching you how to disarm your opponent long enough to start running. 
The only person you ever got to practice them on was Hyunjin, and you didn’t have anywhere to run. The sun was coming up, locking you inside. You could run to one of the other vampires, but they were all grumpy when they were woken up. They could have stepped in, but they knew you would both figure it out. Usually one of two ways. 
Hyunjin is faster than you, able to pin you again. He’s hard, no doubt the adrenaline from the fight pumping the blood from his last feeding. You hate yourself for letting him do it, your pants being tossed across the room. He doesn't even bother removing your shirts, forcing his way between your thighs. You’re wet, taking him easily as he thrusts into you hard. You don’t give him the satisfaction though, laying there as he fucks you. It wasn’t the first, and it likely wouldn’t be the last time one of your arguments ended this way. 
But this time it’s different. 
You don’t bother getting up from the floor as he leaves, laying there on the hardwood. You can feel it leaking out of you, tainting you. You feel dirty. Sometimes you liked it, liked having him fuck you relentlessly. He always left right after, never staying with you for longer than it takes him to slip back into his pants. Sometimes you like it, the quick release with no awkward talks or romantic gestures. You had also had your share of humans picked up from bars and clubs. Hookup culture has really done wonders for all of you, making both feeding and having itches scratched a lot easier. 
It had been 50 years of this kind of relationship with Hyunjin, but never before had you felt so dirty afterwards. Your mind had been on Jeongin the whole time. You weren’t anything more than friends, there had been no romantic interest shown by him at least so far. You had no strings attaching the two of you, but you felt wrong laying there half naked on the floor with Hyunjin’s cum leaking out of you. You felt like you had betrayed him. 
You can’t help the tear that slowly slides down your cheek. 
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taylorbeebert · 2 days ago
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19.6: time to copy paste a rain monologue and cry about it
“What did you say, Rain?” I asked.
“I said… everything, kind of.  Or one thing in a million different ways, each with their own weight.”
“But what was it?” I asked.
“It was Staci Hartwick, reading a letter to me.  It was Byron at group, talking about working on letting things go. It was Jessica accepting Chris and Swansong.  Swansong talking about work she was doing with the Wardens, and seeming proud.”
“Forgiveness?” I asked.
“Not forgiveness,” Rain said.  “I don’t know enough, it’s not my place.  More like… acceptance.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Gilpatrick asked me to think of what I’d say to myself.  And I thought of her… I thought she couldn’t even make the decision of which course of action to take, back when we had to decide.  Maybe I understand a bit of what it’s like to be caught up in someone or something else’s current.  I feel like I didn’t have a thought of my own in my head, until I saw the doors of the shopping center burst open.  Even then, it was a rocky road.  I dunno.  Not trying to make excuses.  I just thought, okay… I bet it’s really hard to go against a voice in your head that is literally always right all the time.”
like ugh the feeling when your favorite character just (clenches fist) embodies the themes of the story. it’s like wildbow takes an entire novel’s worth of the idea of coming to terms with what you’ve done and what’s happened to you and finding a way to move forward from it, and wraps it all in a nice little bow and gives it to rain to hand to us. i think it’s funny that he says “i don’t know enough, it’s not my place” like buddy i think YOU of all people are uniquely equipped based on your experiences to speak to these concepts and all that they entail. he said something similar in 19.c talking to case 53s something to the effect of “it’s not my place to tell you guys what to do here because i know y’all have had it way worse than i have” and matryoshka’s like “i’ve seen enough to say you get a bit of a pass”. bottom line is (as always) i love rain and i’m glad he gets his moment here.
also on a separate note, it’s probably a terrible time to hop on the tristan/rain train and yet:
“There are people I know and owe something to on this battlefield,” he said.  “And the only things I’m good for are marketing and fighting, and there’s no market here.”
“You’re good for a lot more than that,” Rain said. “If saving them is important to Tristan, it’s important to me.  He’s- you’re kind of the first person who looked me in the eye after I confessed the Fallen stuff, Trist.”
“Go,” Tristan said.  “I’m too stubborn to listen to you at this point.  I’ve got Sveta and my old teammates to look after.  My mind is made up.”
trist 🥺😭 tristan’s here for kicking ass and public relations and he’s all out of relations!!! i hate how for like the past two arcs every time we get a tristan moment it’s chock full of this horrible feeling of finality like NO wildbow leave him ALONE
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hmslusitania · 9 days ago
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it’s because if they get within touching distance unsupervised they will snap together like magnets
and that would be disruptive to their ability to function anymore
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peachcitt · 5 months ago
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reading a book and i absolutely hate the main character. he sucks so bad. genuinely said out loud “i hope you lose everything” after he did something not even that bad compared to his other misdeeds. i want to see him suffer
#peach rambles#HEAR ME OUT. HE JUST FUCKING SUCKS#at the beginning he wasn’t so bad and then he did Terrible Things and then promptly lost his friends which. good for them for getting away#from him. and he was like ‘ive done terrible things to my friends but has anyone considered the fact that i miss them🥺’ LIKE SHUT UP#and then he joined the army and somehow gained a friend who is perhaps the nicest man on earth and he was like#‘ive done terrible things i can soil him in my sins :(’ which. correct#BUT INSTEAD OF AIMING TO BECOME A BETTER MAN FOR HIS NEW FRIEND HE JUST. BECOMES SELFISH AND WORSE#like his friend because he’s the nicest man on earth has a bunch of other friends and the mc is like. hm. i hate all of his friends because#They Are Not Me and im the one most in need of a friend and they’re stealing time with him away from me.#i will proceed to threaten them to stay away from my friend because im the worst and i see nothing wrong with this#AND WHEN HIS FRIEND (justly) GETS MAD AT HIM FOR DOING THIS HE’S JUST LIKE#‘i can’t hewp it :((( you’re my fwiend:(((’ and his friend his rightfully like. stop manipulating me and they don’t talk for a while#which was nice because i like his friend and i want better for him but i had to deal with the mc lamenting the fact that he’s alone even#though it’s his own damn fault for being a piece of shit to everyone he talks to#but due to Them Being In The Army they recoincile and instead of simply being grateful he still has a friend despite being a MASSIVE#shithead he just??? fucking does not change??? I WANT TO SEE HIM LOSE EVERYTHING. I WANT TO SEE HIM SUFFER#because okay the truth is i. hm. okay the truth is i want to enjoy this book and i want him to actually be deserving of being a friend to#the nicest man on earth. i want his friend to live happily like he deserves. i love him. i want the book to be happy for him specifically#and the only way i see that happening is if he leaves the mc for good (which i would be happy about) or if the mc loses everything and goes#through a fantastically gnarly redemption arc where he finally realizes FOR REAL how much of a shithead he’s been and that he doesn’t#deserve to have anything he wants. because right now he knows that’s terrible but he still thinks he deserves his old friends and his new#friend for some reason. even though he’s treated/treats them badly#so yeah. there’s a lot of this books left to go. but that’s where im at right now
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