#you'd know everything was going to go to shit

[laneywrld]

Oh Baby | Lewis Hamilton mini series

part one.

word count: 7.7k

Warnings: smut, absolute filth. breeding kink

Lewis can't help but want to give his best friend everything she desires. she can have whatever she wants.

You were Lewis' best friend; the world knew it. The world also saw that he admired you in a way he hadn't anyone else.

You'd been in Lewis' life since the two of you were literal babies. Your dad was best friends with Anthony, Lewis' father, so in a way, you two were destined to be the best of mates. 

Sometimes, Lewis wishes he had the chance to meet you organically, but as quickly as that thought flickers through his mind, it is pushed away just as fast.

He would've been alone as a kid if you had come later in his life. But still, meeting you later would've changed the trajectory of your guy's relationship. He wouldn't be stuck in the constant lock of just being your "best friend."

He would continue to stick out his role and push through his torture if it meant you keeping him around.

Since you were kids, you two have been joined at the hip. You were always there to defend him at school when the bullies got to him. You were always down to follow his dreams with him, even if it meant convincing your dad to let you ride with his family to watch him go-karting in the sweltering heat. You were always there. 

You still are, and maybe that's what's got his heart thrumming in his chest as he watches you dance with his brother Nicholas. The two of your hands are entwined as you sway to the music blasting from the speakers.  

As Nicholas twirls you around, your eyes meet Lewis for a brief second, and you smile at him before you are faced with his brother again. You joke with Nicholas as the two of you dance, your head constantly turning to check on Lewis.

He loves how his family is your own and vice versa. He loves how you treat his brother with the same tender love and care that he does. He can't help but to admire everything you do, even if it's just including his brother in something as simple as dancing.

You give him a curious look as you sway with Nicholas. He only grins in return, raising his glass at you. He sees your eyes fleet over his shoulder, and then your mouth pierces together in a knowing smile. You tilt your head to motion behind him, and when he turns to follow your orders, he sees Laura approaching. 

When he turns back to you, you are no longer dancing wildly with his brother but sitting comfortably with your friends, accepting the shot Miles pours for you. 

Lewis shakes his head, turning to greet Laura. He shouldn't feel disappointed and he shouldn't feel an emptiness wallow in his gut at the mere fact that he can't watch you sway in the night. His girlfriend, (if you could even call her that), was approaching and he should be glad to see her, but he can't help but to relish in the fact that'd he'd rather observe you from a distance than be in her presence.

"Hey baby!" she cheers. " I'm sorry I'm late. I got hung up at the agency."

"S'fine." He smiles, embracing the hug. "Let's grab you a drink and then settle in with everyone."

Meanwhile you are trying your best to tame your friends and their instantly sour moods. "C'mon y'all. Be nice to the girl."

"Nice?" Whitney scoffs. "I don't like that lil' girl."

"Whit." You scold, "She's not for us to like; as long as Lew likes her, we support them, yeah?" 

"Whatever," Miles piques up, "She not good enough for my guy?"

Always the wiser one, you shoot miles with a frown that shows your agreeance: "We can think that, but who are we to decide for him? Lew's not an idiot. When the time comes to make the right call, he'll make it, yeah?"

"Yeah." Daniel says, "But the only right call would be you."

You smack your teeth, reaching for another shot. "Here this nigga go on his shit again."

The table erupts in laughter just as Lewis approaches with Laura.

"Guys, you all remember Laura?"

"Do we?" Whit scoffs under her breath, downing a shot. The group breaks into fits of sniggering. You eye them with a look that screams, Act right! before turning to face Lewis and Laura in your seat.

"Laura, hi! girl!" You dragged.

Once again, you shoot your eyes across the group; one by one, they all push out fake ass hellos or a mumbled What's up.

Lew watches on as you turn to him, smiling. He can't help it as his own grows wider.

After the phony greeting, Lewis drags Laura to sit with him. The only open spot is the two-seater across from you. 

Conversation is ablaze in the midst of the circle. You lean forward chatting with Laura for a while since no one else bothered. Lewis has his arm thrown over her shoulder but he is watching you. Like always.

"Oh, so you planned this gathering?" Laura questions.

"Isn't it obvious?" You joke. "Lew could never." You motion to the lights and grand decor located around the yard.

"Oh, please." Lewis smacks his teeth.

"Admit it, Lew. It's my thing. Tell me I did good."

"You did great." He smirks, leaning back, his legs spread in a way that has you ready to drool.

You divert your eyes, sitting back in your own seat.

"Y/N's so domestic, it's giving wife."

You squint your eyes at Whit, giving her the ultimate stink face.

"You're always going to be the stepmum to us Laura. We can't separate mum and dad." Mori speaks up.

There was an ongoing joke in your friend group that had been circling for years. You and Lewis were Mum and Dad, you two paired together so well that it was like watching the perfect marriage. Your friends referred to you as each others "hubby" and "wifey".

Still, your friends were beginning to get out of pocket, and you turned to Lewis expecting him to put an end to their shenanigans like any good dad would. He only smiles at you his eyebrows wiggling in a playful manner.

You feel your cheeks burn as he doesn't deny it.

"She is quite domestic, would make the perfect wife." Miles piques up from beside Lewis.

It's a scheme that you two were left out of, a plan made to force you two to realize your feelings for each other.

His words trinkle into Lewis' mind. He's always thought you'd make the perfect wife. He's thought about marrying you seriously plenty of times. It's also been a childhood dream of his to make it official, especially after having your own wedding ceremony at the playground under the monkey bars, commemorated by strawberry ring-pops and sand confetti that had both of your parents grumbling as they scrubbed your scalps clean that night.

He's only ever told Miles this, but he wishes he never got seriously involved that first time at all. He thinks he did it out of pure irrationality. You had your first serious boyfriend, and Lewis thought well shit. To him it seemed as though you'd never be that into him. So he spent seven years on and off with a woman he was unsure about when all he really wanted was you. He's wasted so much time.

He thinks back to the times where distance sprouted between you two. Nicole didn't like how close the two of you were, and you respected it even if he didn't want you to. He fills a bit like a dickhead thinking of all the times he lied to his ex telling her you were nothing more than a friend to him. It was obviously a lie. If it wasn't a lie he wouldn't have spent majority of his relationship trying to make you realize what it was you were missing. Hint: it obviously didn't work, or you'd be the girl under his arm right now.

"I'll be back in a few," you announce, standing from your seat. I'm going to go do my rounds. Give Lew a break." Lewis' stare was beginning to get intense, you could feel your little resolve crumbling the longer her stared into your soul.

He watches you stroll over to his dad and your dad, stepping in between them and wrapping your arms around their waist. He can't read your lips but can tell that whatever you said had the two doubled over in laughter. You pat their backs, trekking over to your next target.

You're a little ways away, refilling wine glasses at the "mum table." His mum has you saying something that leads to you smooching the top of her head as you pass by. You set the bottle on the table before suspiciously eyeing your mother and opting to pull it to the other end. Lewis lets out a chuckle, watching your antics.

It'd been awkward silence covering the group like a blanket since you'd left. Everyone watching Lewis, watch you.

You had convinced Lew to buy this house, practically begged him all of those years ago. "Lew, the backyard," you had marveled, hands outstretched at your sides. "Imagine hosting out here." You had gone on a rant, dragging him across each area of the yard and throwing out ideas for gatherings that didn't even exist.

He closed the deal that same day. He was glad he listened to you as he watched you light some sparklers for the group of kids. He watches you crouch down to his nephew's level, pressing him against your front as you direct the sparkler into his hand. 

He couldn't see your face but could tell you were muttering words of encouragement into his ear. 

You stand with a proud grin when he twirls the stick around confidently. 

You turn as a small child tugs on your dress, "I'm thirsty, Auntie y/n/n."

You coo, picking up your friend's child. "Hi, mama! let's fix that for you." You pop her onto your hip, waltzing into the house from the open patio doors. She runs out moments later, a juice box snug in her hands. You follow after, arms full of the very same juice.

You crouch down as the children huddle around you. You poke each straw through the hole before passing them out one by one.

"Look at Mama Bear." Whit laughs as her eyes follow Lewis' line of sight. He is watching you with a smile and that classic sparkle in his eye that he always seems to have when it comes to you.

"She'd make a great mum, huh?" Lewis rasps out. 

You're back at the fire pit before you know it.

"Yeah, Mori, you should totally let me kidnap your child next weekend."

"Have her girl, she's all yours." She scoffs, "badass little girl."

The group laughs, but Lewis can't help but notice the gloom flash over your face before it quickly washes away.

He knows about your desire to have a family. He remembers how you opened up to him about it after your last relationship ended, and you took it worse than you ever had before.

He remembers that day like it was yesterday.

You were a drunken, blubbering mess, sitting on his couch with puffy eyes and a blotchy face. "Ugh!" you groaned, reaching for the bottle to pour yourself another glass. He beats you to it, pulling it away and setting it down on the table at the end of the couch.

"Hey," he coos, his hand pulling you into his side as your lip wobbles. You can't help the outburst of tears for what feels like the 100th time.

"Let's talk about it, yeah? That might help a bit."

You had been friends for so long, and not once had he seen you this distraught. In fact, you were the one comforting him most of the time.

"I hate him," you whined, reaching up to cover your face. He got me over here looking stupid."

"Hey," he pulls your hand down, still holding you against him, just holding your hand down at your side as well. "Don't be embarrassed for feeling, ain't that what you tell me?"

"Yeah," you shudder.

"Now, talk to me."

"I wanted kids. I don't think i'm that hurt about him you know?" you don't give him time to answer, "I just feel like I'm not meant to be with someone, like love is not for me. Sometimes it seems like everyone has a person out there for them but me. I want a family of my own. I love my family and yours, but it's different." you cry harder then.

"I want a human to love unconditionally, I want babies, and I want to be a mom; I would make a great mumma."

"You would." He hums, his free hand coming up to wipe your face. You pull away turning to face him, your legs are crossed in front of you and he reaches forward grasping both of your hands in his. 

He has one leg propped under the other, and his body is turned to face you. The way he's looking at you makes you want to break down into another fit of tears. No one pays attention to you as much as Lewis.

"Is there something wrong with me?" You ask, and you sound so broken that Lewis is fighting off tears of his own.

"You're perfect." He assures, and his hold on your hands grows tighter. "There's someone out there who loves you whole. Through and through, you hear me? There's nothing wrong with you, just the wrong people you've come across. You're going to get all that you want one day. He was an idiot anyway. What happened anyway, huh? What made him-."

"I left him." you interrupted, "which is crazy that i'm crying over him this bad but I could feel a disconnect between us, we were too different, didn't have the same end goal."

"You know what's beautiful about this?"

You look up to him with a baffled expression to say what the actual fuck is beautiful about being an emotional mess. He chuckles, swiping one hand against your wet cheek, where he settles his palm to cup your face. 

"One day, when you get what you desire, you're going to appreciate it a whole lot more because of how much you had to go through to get it."

And if Lewis wasn't a scary idiot, he swore he'd given you a kid right there and then, hell, however many you wanted. He's always had a soft spot for you, giving you anything you could have remotely even thought about wanting. You mention wanting to visit Brazil, bam, you're on his private jet whisked away, you want a yard to throw family gatherings, the deed is signed. You complain about wanting specific cupcakes from your favorite bakery, he was out of town but it was nothing to have his assistant travel across town to place them at your door. The point is, he'd give you anything in a second. He's good for it and he'd give you his baby if you really truly wanted.

You look up to Lewis the same memory flowing through both of your minds, he shoots you a tiny smile, raising his glass in your direction. You return his expression sipping from your freshly filled wine glass. 

Your smile blows him away; he can never control the way his heart lurches; you'd think after years and years, your charm would lose its effect on him, but somehow, they grow stronger and stronger as each day passes by.

He doesn't know how long his group of friends sit around the fire pit laughing and chattering along (you including Laura every chance you get, seeing as your other friends seem to have forgotten she exists.) Before he knows it his father is approaching. "Son, there's a million sleeping kids all over your house, I think that's our queue to pack it up."

At that announcement you guys' friends begin to pack themselves up. Lewis says his goodbyes. The group sniggers as Anthony shoots a "Nice meeting you Lauren."

"He called me Lauren," she pouts, "and I've met him before."

"Don't pay it any mind," you speak up balancing an armful of empty glasses, "he's got a bad memory."

You scold your friends, shooing them off as Lewis apologizes to Lauren, Laura.

After a while the house is empty and you say the goodbyes in place of Lewis. As you load the dishwasher you see them bicker back and forth through the large window. 

You close the door, pressing start, deciding to stop evading their private conversation. You connect to Lewis' speaker, soft melodies bleeding through the house as you go room to room, collecting any foreign object that doesn't belong. You sit with Roscoe for a while after refilling his bowl, giving him kisses and rubs until his body vibrates with snores and then you are up and at it again finding anything to tidy.

You sing quietly to yourself you huff wiping the imaginary dust onto your dress. Just as you're going to sneak from the home, Lewis' voice halts you in your tracks.

"You're leaving?" His eyes are furrowed, and his face is scrunched up.

"I- uh yeah, I didn't know how long the two of you were going to be."

"You're not staying the night?"

Your eyes shoot flicker between Lewis and Laura, "Um, no." you chuckle hoping he'd catch the hint.

As much as you loved Lewis and spending time with him, that love didn't cover listening to him fuck the brains out of his current fling.

"She's not staying," Lewis speaks up.

You are still frozen by the door, your hand holding onto the handle. You peek at Laura, her face covered in disdain.

Your mouth drops open and then closed, trying to figure out the words to articulate your desire to leave in order to avoid whatever weird tension is brewing.

"Bye, Lewis." Laura bites, her long legs striding past you quickly. You move to the side, and she slips through the door without saying so much as a word to you.

"Ooh," you whistle, watching as the door frame rattles from the intensity of the close.

"What's her problem?"

"Your friends are bitches Lew." He mocks in a whiny voice.

You laugh, clutching your chest, "They're a bit rude." 

"Yeah," he sighs.

"For good cause," you continue.

"Yeah."

"I mean, I don't like the girl either, but as long as you don't mind what she did then-."

"You staying." Lewis interrupts. He really didn't feel like talking about Laura, especially since he was alone in your presence for the first time today; it was all he wanted for his birthday.

It'd been three weeks since he last saw you, and while the two of you talked on the phone and texted every single day, it'd never compare to actually being in your space. 

You groan as he puckers out his bottom lip, giving you his signature puppy dog eyes that always seem to convince you to do whatever he's asking for.

"Only because it's your birthday, and these heels hurt my feet so much, I don't really think I can drive."

"Oh please," Lewis laughs, "don't act like you don't wanna spend time with me. Excuses, excuses, excuses."

You waddle over to him, grasping onto his waiting arm as you bend at your knees to free your aching feet from said heels.

He takes the shoes from your hand, leading you up the stairs. 

As the two of you approach his bedroom, you feel your excitement boil over.

When he opens the door, you speak up, "I figured what'd be a good gift for someone who literally has enough money to buy whatever he wanted. Then I remembered how much you miss home while you're away and came to the conclusion that money could never bring that kind of comfort."

Lewis sniffles as he looks at the array of gifts spread over his bed. 

There is a stuffed Roscoe and Coco, a scrapbook that you'd dug into the archives to fill, letters from his family, your family, your friends, and an array of letters from you. Flowers, because to you, he deserved his more than anyone walking. You'd recreated his favorite ever birthday gift to him, a knit cheetah that you had your grandma help crochet with you for weeks before his seventh birthday. It's safe to say the OG had gone through a lot over the years. And finally, his first helmet from his carting career. He remembers his parents not being able to afford his helmet after buying him a game console for his birthday.

He remembers how upset he was but understanding of his parent's situation. He also remembers you leaving his party that night, face set in as much determination as it could be for a kid. The next day, you popped up with your dad shoving a brand new helmet adorned in a purple sticky bow into his arms. It'd been so many years since he'd last seen the helmet; as a teen, he'd gotten rid of so many things he considered to be junk, the helmet being one. But the older he got, the more he realized just how sentimental stuff like that was.

"You don't understand how hard I had to search through my Granny's attic for that. She always figured you'd want that back one day, pulled it right out of your yard sale that day."

Off to the side were stacked shoe boxes, a box from his jeweler, and a few designer bags.

He throws his arms over your shoulders, pulling you into his chest; he nestles his head atop of yours before he cranes to press multiple kisses to your hairline. "You're my favorite person in the whole world, know that, right?" He rasps.

"You wrap your arms around his waist pulling him in closer. "I love you Lew, happy birthday. You deserve it all."

You don't know how long the two of you stand their wrapped in each other's embrace before you part. 

"You can shower in here; I'll hop in the guest."

"Unzip me?"

You turn giving him your back to face, you feel his hand reach up to gently swipe your hair over your shoulder, you shiver as his finger tips glide against the skin of your neck.

"I'm gonna unclip your necklace first," he announces, and his voice is raspier than usual. He gulps as he pinches at the golden clasp, reaching one hand around your front to catch the dainty piece of jewelry.

He places it into you waiting palm, and feels his hands get clammy as he holds onto your hip for leverage. Holding you into place as his other hand glides the zipper down your back. His mouth waters and his heart hammers at the sight of your glowy skin being reveled to him.

You hold the dress up at the front, staring at him from the mirror i the corner of his room. His eyes meet yours in the mirror and there is such a charged tension lingering between the two of you. There are no words spoken as the two of you revel in each others presence. Both of his hands are now on your hips as you fell yourself subtly lean back into him. His chains cool your back as you sink into him. 

You smile at him through the mirror, "I really did miss you, but I have to shower. I'm sweaty, and I've been chasing kids around all day."

He chuckles, nudging you away but not before leaning over your shoulder, craning his neck in order to place a lingering kiss on your cheek that is almost too close to the corner of your mouth.

"Go shower, stinky."

You roll your eyes, treading into the bathroom and closing the door. You let out a sigh you didn't know you were holding.

Fuck, it was so challenging yet so exhilarating being in Lew's presence when all you want to do is strip him bare and have your way with him.

You put those thoughts aside and turned on the shower.

When you're clean and dry, you exit the bathroom in your robe (Lewis always keeps an extra for you), where you see Lewis sprawled across the bed, clad only in a pair of boxers. He watches you as you stride past, his head lies against the bed turning to follow your movements. He watches you disappear into his closet and exit, covered in his Mercedes t-shirt that falls down your thighs.

He lulls away the inappropriate images flowing through his mind and instead focuses on the fact that you're wearing his shirt to bed rather than any selection of your clothing piled in his dressers or hanging in your section of his closet.

He makes no attempt to move as you crawl up the bed towards him.

The scene is an absolute vision; he feels blood rush to his member, and he has to use all of his willpower not to let out the lewd groan he's containing.

You only smile at him, and you look so fucking beautiful and innocent he swears if you stare at him for any longer, he'd say fuck it all and pull you down underneath him.

He starts a mental countdown, but before he reaches one, you are flipping onto your back, his arm serving as a pillow as you fit comfortably against his side.

You turn your head to the right, seeing the bottle of liquor in his hand. 

"Give me that." He passes it over, his lips turned up in a smirk.

You lift your head, taking a good bit down your throat before passing it back; he does the same.

"I've got to post you for your birthday!" You gasp excitedly. You two joke around as you upload to your pages.

y/u/n

liked by haileybeiber, landonorris and 1,472,872 others

y/u/n my favorite holiday, happy birthday lewlew, i love you to the moon and back, although you love to move through life fast I am always happy to spend slow days like this together with you cheetah, thank you for the lifelong memories and for sticking by me, i love you like no other <3

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whitwhit mum and dad ❤️ happy birthday pops

fencer Petition to make today a national holiday.

lewishamiton I love you more than life bunny, Thank you for today it was everything I needed.

lewishamilton

liked by mercedesamg, charles_leclerc and 3,563,986 others

lewishamilton Another one 🎂 Always a blast spending time with the people I love. Blessed to see another year surrounded by those I love. Special shoutout to bunny for the impromptu birthday celebration, every year that passes I am reminded of how we've gone through life together, always. Can't wait to spend many more years surrounded by love and happiness, thank you for the birthday wishes.

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user the way his post is full of him and y/n as kids. they really grew with each other 🥹

y/u/n cakes and candles my guy i luv uuuu

morismith +1 dad 🥳 child of a happy and healthy marriage

You two laugh as you scroll through your friends' comments. Somewhere along the line of you two passing the bottle back and forth, you began your own game of twenty-one questions, extra juicy, seeing as you two already knew damn near everything about the other.

"Hmmm!" you light up, "take a shot, or tell me why Nicki called you a weird little guy." 

Lewis smacks his teeth but breaks into a fit of laughter as you turn over, propping your chin up against his arm. Your feet kick back and forth as you stare into him.

"You're messy." He declares, downing another shot.

You groan, reaching over his bare body to take the bottle. "And you're no fun."

"What's one thing you've never told anyone, including me? I mean deepest, darkest secret."

You hum again, allowing Lewis to reposition the two of you. Now he is rested against the headboard, and your head rests on his lap. You let out a gentle moan when his fingers begin to rub against your scalp—his member twitches in his boxers.

"Answer the question." He demands his hands, pushing your head forward slightly to avoid the feel of his growing penis.

Your eyes bore into his, and he could see you fighting to decide whether to tell him or not. He almost tells you to take your shot until the words tumble from your plush lips.

"I used to have the biggest crush on you for the longest time, like probably was in love with you." You admit. Your eyes never leave his and it has his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He feels many questions running through his mind and they want to tumble out like an avalanche but like the relaxed person he is, he plays it cool.

"yeah, and what happened to these feelings, bunny?"

You smile at the nickname, rolling your eyes as you scoff. Lewis always picked at your cute persona as a kid, calling you as sweet and timid as a bunny, the bunny teeth also didn't help.

"You almost got married," you answered. "Realized that a childhood crush was just that, I let it simmer for so long that I made it seem realistic. When you started considering taking things further, I think I closed that book, locked that door, and threw away the key. It was easy when you left her and started running rabid like a fucking dog." you snort.

He laughs with you, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "You calling me a slut?"

"If the condom fits." You tease. 

He rolls his eyes, but deep down inside, he is in shambles over the chance with you that he's missed. And he's regretting every decision that led up to you losing those feelings for him. "Next question."

You're staring deep into his soul with those sparkly eyes again and he can't help but return the same lovey eyes back. He always feels like this with you, wholly enamored and floored by anything that you do. 

You look so sweet and perfect that he doesn't expect the question that falls from your lovely mouth. "What's your favorite kink, like what's something that you do during sex that has you absolutely ready to go berserk?"

"You got a dirty mind, bunny." He teases, two fingers tapping against your temple.

"I've got a breeding kink, I think." He doesn't go into full detail, describing how he discovered it years ago when out shopping with you, and you passed through the baby aisle to shop for his newborn niece at the time. He doesn't describe how his pants tightened at the sight of you holding up cute little onesies or how his mind wandered to you laying spread out in his bed, being pumped full of his cum and loving it, begging for it. He doesn't tell you how he came the hardest he'd ever come in his life that night in his shower, imagining you plump with his child and a bright smile on your lips.

"Elaborate." There is a glint in your eyes as you observe him that urges him to finish his thoughts.

"It's something about loving someone so much that you want to fill them up with another part of you. You love someone so much that you want them to swell up with what is yours. Just fucking the cum back into them every time it slips out, one goal. Give someone my babies."

As he talks, his own words excite him; you can feel it, and you say nothing. The air surrounding you two is charged with such a lewd and sensual energy.

You throb between your thighs as he speaks to you, and his voice is getting deeper and deeper. He is hot and hard against your cheek; you stare up at him, your eyes leaving his own to trail the way his lips move to the way his jaw clenches, to the way his throat bobs all the way to his tatted, glowing chest. His words are getting to you. It's no secret that you, too, had a breeding kink, but hearing him say the words you wished to hear spoken to you in the midst of passion made you shoot into action. You are on his lap before you know it, mouth mushing against his in an instant.

He doesn't hesitate to return the favor; he separates your lips, gliding his tongue into your mouth, licking you open. You moan into his mouth, pressing yourself against him harder. He lets out a shaky breath through his nose, reaching one hand up to grasp the back of your neck and the other on your ass, pushing you impossibly closer to him.

You rock your hips against him, grinding down over him; he lets out a raspy groan, pulling away from your lips, his head falling to watch where your bodies connect; he lets out a moan as his grey briefs darken in color. You continue to glide back and forth over him

You swear you hear him whimper as you lift from his lap. He reaches to pull you back, but you are too fast; kneeling between his spread legs, the sight alone has him letting out another drawn-out whine. Your hand creeps up, rubbing him through the material. You were such a fucking vixen it was driving him mad. His head falls back against the headboard, and his eyes squeeze shut. You're barely doing anything to him, and it feels better than anything he's ever experienced, and he can only equate it to it being you.

You finally free him from his confines, and his head drops down to view you, and his jaw falls slack.

You jerk him up and down, your thumb swiping over the slit at the head of his perfect cock. You moan at the sight, and he twitches. You kiss at the top, staring at him through your lashes, and he swears he almost burst right then and there. Your lips are shiny with spit and you're practically drooling over him. As you place kisses up and down his shaft. You finally slip him into your mouth humming as you taste him. It has his legs spasming making you jostle a little.

You pop him from your mouth, giving him a cute smile that has him throwing his head back. She's going to fucking kill me.

You're moaning over him, driving him absolutely fucking insane. Lewis watches you through clouded eyes, his hand traveling to your hair. He pushes you lower and lower until you're shoving all of him down your throat, and then he pulls you off for air. You smile up at him going down again, and he lets out the nastiest moan you've ever heard.

"So fucking greedy for my dick." You'd never heard him speak like this, and it was scrambling your brain and your insides. "Mhmm," you moan over him. He holds onto your hair with his left hand, his right hand trailing to pull up the shirt that adorns your beautiful body. The higher he raises the shirt, the more unstable he becomes; the black panties cover barely anything, and when he continues to glide his hand up your back, your breasts hang loosely. He fondled them in his hand tweaking your nipple.

He tenses up, watching you take him down your throat like a champ, "fuuckk." 

He pulls you up for the last time, leaning down to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. He thrust up into nothing. His tongue finds it's way into your mouth and moves along with you in the most sensual kiss you'd ever gotten in your life.

"Lew." you whine, and it has him tensing again. This was better than he'd imagined. For years for his entire life he'd pictured this moment, played it out in a million different scenarios and they don't even measure up to this.

He was harder than he'd ever been and ready to finish at the mere sight of you looking up at him with his cock stuffed in your mouth.

"I can't- I won't last-" He is breathless, and his chest is falling up and down harshly. He looks so perfect, face tinted red and lips red and plump.

"Fuck me then," you order, and it flips a switch in him.

He'd dreamed of this moment, and he would be damned if he let his mind fuck this up for him. He pulls the large shirt from your frame and flips you over, laying you gently on your back. He hikes your legs up, spreading them open and pressing them down. Your knees touch the bed flat at your sides, and you mewl as his tongue flatly glides against your core.

You shiver and shake as he sucks you up. You can't stop squirming as he literally eats you. You moan his name over and over, hands coming down to clutch his curls. He moans against your core, pressing you down harder. You quiver in his hold, and you can feel that ball inside you, ready to burst. "Come for me, baby, let it out." He urges kissing your clit. He sucks it into his mouth, and that's when it happens.

The best orgasm you've had in your life. He licks you through it before sitting up on his knees. He still has you spread open at his mercy, and the sight below him has him stroking himself above you.

"So fucking pretty." he rasps, "ready for me?"

You nod, so fucked out that words seem impossible to you.

He chuckles, his hand coming up to hold you open as his other directs his hard dick to your hole; he pushes the head in at first, hissing as you suck him in. "Mhhm," he moans, "want me so bad, huh?"

You mewl, trying to push your body up to push him in.

"Aht, aht." he pushes his hand against you harder. "Let me take my time, make it right for us, yeah. Been wanting this forever."

His words make you gush more and more; you'd never imagine that Lewis, of all people, was this vocal during sex.

"He lets go of himself, both hands now gripping your thighs that are still burning against your chest. He stares deep into your soul as he pushes himself in an inch just to ease out just as slowly.

"Gotta stretch this pretty pussy out first, huh? So fucking tight." he coos.

Your eyes fall closed, your mouth going slack as he slides in again. "It's your dick, baby. All yours."

"C'mon bunny, wanna see your eyes, wanna watch you take me." You open your eyes breaths leaving you as little hitches as he finally fills you up.

"He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, his eyes watching where the two of you connect. "Fits so good," he groans, "made jus' for me."

You only mewl and clench the sheets.

"So pretty," he drops your legs, propping himself up on an elbow; his weight covers you like a security blanket. "Mhmm." he moans, sliding in and out of you. Your walls were suffocating him, sucking him in and trying to keep him in place. His face is scrunched up in pure pleasure as he succumbs to your velvety walls. So fucking warm and wet.

"Love this pussy." he groans before his mouth is back on yours. 

"Say it's mine," he orders pulling back, he is towering over you again, one hand clutching your face to watch him watch you.

You only moan, equating his words to being in the moment even though they have your stomach doing flips.

"Say it's mine, baby, and I'll give you what you want." 

It's like he hit a switch in you, brought out a side of you that you've never been able to release.

"It's yours," you coo, "all yours, only yours."

His eyes shine at your words, pressing a quick peck to your lips. 

"Nobody can give it to you like me, they don't deserve it, been so good to you. Hmm. Can give you everything you want."

One hand travels down to your stomach, where he presses down, "Feel me in there?"

"yes." you gasp, eyes rolling back; the sex is no longer slow and sensual. He is pounding into you so hard that your body lurches up and down the bed, and your breast bounces with every thrust. 

Lewis Hamilton is a dirty man, you conclude watching his lips fall open from the dirty smirk he'd had it in. 

"Got something else to put in there." You clench around him tighter curses falling from his mouth as he stills inside of you.

You know he is only in the moment, this whole debacle started because of his admission of a praise kink, you know he's playing along with yours, he wants to get you there in the same way you want to get him there so you play along.

"I want it." you whine, "want it all."

Lewis thought it was impossible for him to get any hornier, but once again, you've proven him wrong.

"Want you to fill me up, want to be full of you." You play on his words from earlier. "Want all of you."

He moans once again, spreading you open. He is plowing into you. Loud grunts left his throat as he digs deeper and deeper into you. He can feel every crevice of your flesh as you swallow him.

"Gonna give you what you want, make you big and full, have you carrying my babies. Going to have what you always wanted, love."

Your eyes fall shut at his words in utter bliss.

He lays on top of you, the burn of your thighs spreading. His hands travel to your own, holding them on either side of your head. His head is nestled between the crook of your neck; he's sucking and licking along your neck. You feel him everywhere.

"mmph," you moan as he reaches and punches against your sweet spot over and over. 

Lewis is so fucked out in a loving haze that he can't control the words tumbling from his lips onto your skin.

"Wanted this forever, so long." He whimpers, "Feel so good, only wanna feel you. Only wanted you."

You free one hand from his hold wrapping it around to rub at the curls at the nape of his neck. You want him to keep talking, keep feeding you the words you've waited your whole life for him to say. "I can give you everything you want, baby."

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and you can't tell if it's from the pleasure he's giving you or the words he's dribbling out.

"Taking me so well, fuck!" he sits up on his knees again, turning you over without pulling out of you; you're on all fours as he plows into you from behind. 

"So mean, making me wait so long, letting me be with the wrong woman, should've been you." You clench around him eyes squeezing shut, you shouldn't enjoy these words as much as you do but you can't help it.

"Wanted it to be you, would've had our family by now, so many kids, so happy." You're literally shaking, the fire growing inside of you, making it impossible to ward off your second orgasm. 

"Been looking for you in all these women, never were you, never could be. Fucking couldn't get hard without imagining your face. Always had to be you." He sounds so vulnerable and open behind you. You want to see his face so badly, and you want to watch him as he admits what you've always desired.

Like he read your mind, he flips you over again, nestling between your legs and pushing himself in again with a hiss, "Gotta see your face when you come, love."

You're on top of him, relishing in the way he looks up at you. Your thighs are placed on either side of him lifting over and over as he glides in and out of you.

He looks so beautiful, you think even if he is spitting out the most wild and lewd words you've ever had spoken to you. "Gonna empty this dick in you baby, give you my baby. Make you mine, all mine." He growls.

"Could've had this all along if you said something sooner, bunny. Would have had you feeling like this all of the time."

His hands are on your waist, lifting you up and down over him. You fall forward one hand holding you up and the other reaching down to cup his jaw. You press your lips over his, breathless pants traveling from one mouth to the other. The eye contact is intense as you stare each other down. His eyes literally sparkle as he fuck up into you, his mouth dropped open. You kiss him one last time before sitting up again and setting your own pace, "Fuck Lew, you feel so good."

You're bouncing on him at a much slower pace as his eyes fall closed and his grip tightens on your flesh.

You're not responsible for what you say when you cum, it's common knowledge, which is why when Lewis flips you over and barrels into you at a much softer pace you let his words carry no penalty, albeit the way they make your eyes water, albeit the way you return them truthfully.

It's so overwhelming you can't help the way the tears flow from your eyes and slide onto the sheets. He's cumming in spurts, hot and gooey, filling you to the brim. Lewis has never come so much. He lets out an array of grunts and moans. He's so out of it that he lets his words tumble out without a care in the world, and he means them wholly. He's fucking his cum into you, pushing it back in with his dick as you quiver around him. 

"Love you, fuck, I fucking love you."

#lewis hamilton #x black reader #lewis hamilton x black reader #f1 #formula 1 #formual one #lewis hamilton imagine

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

Today's @wolfstarmicrofic is a Roommate AU!

(872 words.)

James is slowly going mad.

No, not even slowly. He's fallen straight into madness, and he doesn't know how to save himself.

When Sirius asked if one of his course mates, Remus Lupin, could move in for a while, of course, he said yes. Remus had been going through something, and James is always happy to help. Not only that, but Remus is bloody brilliant. He went from being shy, fairly withdrawn, to a hilarious, witty person who James is happy to call his friend.

Sirius clearly doesn't just want to call Remus his friend.

James doesn't think he can watch the two of them practically undressing each other with their eyes at breakfast, accidentally reaching for the same thing and blushing like idiots while they apologise, or trying their hand at fucking awful flirting. It's getting painful, the clear fact that they've fallen for one another right in front of them, while they dance around it like they've never been certain of anything less in their lives.

To be perfectly honest, James is starting to wonder if he should just lock them both in a room and-

"S'fine, I don't care," Sirius' voice cuts through James' thought process as he steps out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. James looks up just in time to watch Remus following behind him hurriedly. So quickly that he almost walks directly into Sirius when he stops and turns around to face him. "I'm not carrying you through the project just because you forgot you had shit to do, though. You can do your part later."

"When have I not done my work, Sirius? Christ, at this point I thought you'd trust me. I already apologised for forgetting!"

"Mhm, and I've already said I don't care. Go have fun on your date, Remus," Sirius says back, just a hint of bitterness settling in his words. It really does sound like he cares.

Remus must be thinking the same thing, because he walks out without saying another word. Sirius immediately heads to the fridge, dropping his head against the door and letting his shoulders slump with a sigh.

"Oh, Sirius, you're a fucking idiot," Sirius groans to himself under his breath. James chuckles.

"Agreed."

"Jesus buggering Christ!" Sirius jumps a mile, practically falling into the counter as he whips his head around to face James. "How long have you been sitting there?"

"Long enough to watch that trainwreck," James answers simply. For some reason, Sirius seems to decide that it's the perfect time to play dumb.

"What d'you mean? It's fine, Remus is just..."

"Going on a date," James fills in. "With someone who isn't you. Which, by the way, is really bloody stupid of him, so at least you've got that in common."

"No, that's not- I don't..."

All James needs to do is arch an eyebrow, and Sirius' shoulders slump.

"Okay, fine, yeah. I really like him."

"No, really?" James asks sarcastically. At Sirius' unamused look, he keeps talking. "Sirius, I'm not being funny, you should see the way he looks at you when you're not looking. Or even when you are, actually. I'm surprised you haven't seen it! You should have asked him out months ago."

"God, I've really fucked it up, haven't I?" Sirius groans, scrubbing a face over his hand. "I wanted to tell him ages ago, I swear! It's just, he-" Sirius drops down into the chair opposite James, eyes fixed on his hands. "He was going through a lot, and then I was asking him if he wanted to move in before I knew what I was saying! How am I meant to tell him anything when he's living in the same flat as me? That could go so wrong, James. I could literally ruin everything!"

Okay, James is at a loss for words. That's... a lot, and Sirius is clearly stressed out. He opts for reaching across the small table and squeezing Sirius' shoulder. Before he can say anything comforting, though, a rustle comes from the door. Someone's trying to get in, and if they have a key, they're really struggling to use it.

Sirius walks over to the door with a confused frown, pulling it open to find Remus, key held out and a stunned expression on his face. James watches the two of them hesitate in front of one another for a moment.

"Remus? What-?"

Before he can say another word, Remus expression fixes to one that James can only describe as determined, before he surges forward and connects his and Sirius' lips. Sirius staggers backwards for a moment, caught by Remus hands sliding around his waist as he reaches his own up to the nape of Remus' neck.

James doesn't know whether or not he should be averting his eyes. Thankfully, they decide that for him, Remus pulling away and starting to speak hurriedly.

"I got halfway down the street and realised that I was being so fucking stupid. I really like you, Sirius. I have for so long, and I guess I thought maybe a date would help me get over it but, God, all I wanted to do was come back here and see you, so..."

Okay, so they're both idiots.

Still, by the look on Sirius' face, he has a feeling that they're finally getting their act together.

#this almost turned into a looong oneshot #it just made me so happy to write lmfao #wolfstar #sirius black #wolfstar oneshot #marauders #remus lupin #remus x sirius #young marauders #moony x padfoot #atyd marauders #marauders oneshot

[seventhcallisto]

A PROMISE IS A SWEAR ! giom — chpt. 1

Synopsis. Matz gains a new district and a new member. The same member who trails a bunny to the den and introduces the beginning of obsession for the leaders.

Warnings. Violence. Physical harm. Und3rag3 tattooing. Teenagers(that needs it's own tw). Gang symbols. cigarett3 b3rn. Harm. And emotional harm and arguing. Please read giom masterlist before continuing.

Tuesday.

Positively, you were furious. After a not so nice call from a local man you know —your neighbor to be exact— you were mumbling up a storm. Excusing yourself through the last hour of your job just so you could catch a certain someone in the act.

With your work uniform on and a scowl on your face. Hiking up a hill through a run-down alleyway full of creeps and illegal activities. You finally caught sight of the person you'd been there to catch.

"Get off of me!" You snatched the teenager up by his arm, pinching him through his hoodie. "Jihoon, if you don't walk your skinny ass legs down this hill, I'll drag you," you stomped your heel clad foot, whisper yelling at the young man.

Jihoon was always causing problems, so threatening him like this was most likely not going to get him to listen. His face shriveled up. "You're not my mom!" He hissed back, equally furious - most likely due to the fact you had just pulled him from his group of boyfriends. Right in the middle of selling a pair of off branded shoes- and as soon as they saw you - pretended nothing was going on.

Irritation, through a false guise of shock, littered their faces as you tore and prodded the younger man away from his group of mis fit friends.

"Lee Jihoon," you whisper yelled to him this time, turning his body towards you. You take on the anger in his eyes with a frustrated scowl to clash. "Go and tell your friends you'll see them later, We're going home."

His face was turning red from embarrassment. But he knew you wouldn't back down, especially how stubborn he knows you to be. He smacked your palm off his jacket, huffing out a breath of air and turning towards the group he's with.

Within a few more seconds, he was storming past you. Hunched and full of anger as he made his way out of the entrance of the alleyway.

"Do you understand what you're doing, jihoon? It's illegal!" His footsteps rang loud on the wood of the apartment, ignoring your words- hardly bothering to take off his shoes at the entrance.

Before you could get out another frantic sentence out, he was turning his entire body your way, a snarl to his lips that resembled a dog. "What does it matter!? You're never home anyway! The cops can't pin shit on me-"

"Watch your mouth!" You yelled back, eyes widening. "I'm never home cause I am working! Don't you get that? These nice things you have- the school you go to! I have to pay for all of it somehow!" You gestured to his bedroom, posters and nick nacks littered about. "If I don't work, you can't have these things," your eyebrows furrowed. It was always so frustrating talking to him- with the exact copy of his mother's attitude.

He scoffed, "Whatever" he walked away from you, closing his door with a harsh slam.

These little outbursts would burn and simmer, like the crust on a volcano.

You stepped outside- to have a moment to yourself. Calming down from such a heightened situation- it wasn't good for you to let it bubble. But with jihoon- raising him, it was hard.

The silence of the evening gave you some peace of mind. And despite the situation of your day. You were beginning to feel relaxed, listening to the crickets and the distant sound of cars- cats- and the occasional dog barking.

"Tough day?" Changbin beckoned your attention, his large arms crossed over the balcony, you glanced to your door, having realized he heard everything.

"Yes- well, tough to my standards anyway." You laughed lightly, sighing. Changbin tilted his head at you, taking a long drag of his cigarette. "If it helps.. I know a lot of guys who went through this rebellious phase." he gestured to your apartment door, seemingly talking about jihoon. "They usually outgrow it, yknow, teenagers always act out. I know, I sure did."

You chortle at that. Palming your head as you looked out over the city, finally, you turned to meet changbins eyes, his presence having grown closer, right next to you on the railing. Comfortably, you sat with him for a second longer. "You? Rebellious?" You grinned. The fun- gentle man next to you, the one you've known for at least four years. And still have yet to properly get to know each other.

He laughed, his face scrunching. "What? Do I not seem rebellious enough?" He nudged your shoulder with his elbow, pouting. You laughed again. "No, no, I just wasn't expecting that, considering you're a -" You stopped short, remembering what jihoon had said earlier, you cleared your throat in the silence. He finished for you, glancing out to the city as well. "A cop?"

He leaned back over the railing with a sigh, nodding his head. "I heard that too. He's a bit cocky, considering he lives next to one." Changbin murmured. You shook your head, embarrassed on behalf of the teenager under your care. "I'm sorry-" "don't be. I gave my mom a hard time, too. He'll learn." The man shrugged off your apology, another drag of his cigarette, before he dabbed it out, fiddling with the end.

"But I'm not his mom. He has a reason to give me a hard time." You sighed heavily, letting the words flow before you cut them off, biting your lip. Changbin noticed, he's a keen man, a detailed man, it was a part of his job. He shook his head, twisting his body towards you.

Before he could come up with a sentence, you smiled gently. "Thanks for calling me, I hate when he does that" you groaned, remembering how upsetting it was to witness the young man attempt to brute force his way into getting another schoolmate to buy the pair of shoes they laid out.

Whatever jihoon had been doing wasn't legal. And you knew- you know. So, of course, changbin would know too - he was a cop after all, a detective to be exact, it was his job to notice these things. "Maybe a little juvie would do him some good," you sighed, a poor attempt at a joke- yet changbin still laughed heartily.

"If you need someone to scare the piss outta him, let me know, I've got a few people in mind." Changbin pocketed the end of his cigarette, bumping your elbow with his just as he left.

Wednesday. Always full of woe.

The downpour of rain filtered out the chatter of the company hongjoong was kept in. Barked laughter and forced smiles as the people around him conversed. The only person to take any interest in it was on his right. Seonghwa could make up excuses for the lack of attention his partner was providing. But the grin on the peak of hongjoongs cupids bow was driving Hwa wild with curiosity.

"What has you so happy?" The taller of the two murmured under his breath, his companion heard it - and with a clear of his throat, peaked over his glasses to the dark-haired man. "I'll tell you later"

Seonghwa sighed, bringing his glass of champagne to his lips. "Later couldn't come sooner," he replied with a sigh.

Hongjoong was in a better mood than he had been any other time of the week, with the stress that comes with a business- especially as big as this one- he could finally catch a breath of fresh air.

With one long sigh, the car door finally snapped shut, with seonghwa sitting right beside him.

"Where to?" Jongho, the leaders trusted men (and occasional driver) asked as he glanced through the rear view mirror, his brown hair framing his eyes. Hongjoongs smile perked up, seonghwa had noticed. "You know where jongho" hongjoong waved his question off with a smile, shrugging into his large fur coat.

Seonghwas attention turned back to the blonde seated next to him. "So? Where to?" Seonghwa copied jongho, questioning the shorter- yet beaming man. Hongjoong shifted in his seat, his grin faltering when his tongue poked his cheek. "You'll see." hongjoong kept the secret, seonghwa could argue– but it was typical of the younger to be so secretive sometimes.

Once the sleek black car had rolled to a stop. The evening had set, and finally, the moon was beginning to cast its beams across the streets. Seonghwa took notice of the passing buildings. Unease, unsure of the surroundings- matz hadn't stepped this far out of their comfort zone in a while unless there was a meeting. So the rural area, compared to the city, was a stark contrast to his scenery setting.

Practically bouncing out of his seat, hongjoong ushered seonghwa out of his own as soon as the fur covered man swung open his door. Of course- he was happy about something. And seonghwa was beginning to have a clue.

His eyebrow tilted up at the bubbly, shade wearing man- contrasting against seonghwa who was dressed in the best suit for the earlier occasion. He pocketed his hands, watching hongjoong with curious eyes.

In his right, hongjoong spun with the proudest grin on his face. Gesturing to the open area, a park, where seonghwa had recalled only ever passing by once- back when they were meeting with another acquaintance. Hongjoong beckoned the older man over, lacing his hands over a railing, with one other foot on the steps. He stood proudly over the peering hill, a grin still prominent on his face.

Ah. That's what it was. "You could have just told me," seonghwa mentioned with a sigh, running his hand over his hair and fixing any loose threads. Joong chuckled, "it wouldn't be special that way" he sighed, leaning on the railing- childishly, unable to sit still. Seonghwa laughed airily. "I suppose so, considering it's a wide district." Seonghwa murmured, taking his spot next to the blonde.

Hongjoong shifted his body towards the taller, still looking out over the railing at the quiet below. "It's ours now." Hongjoong whispered, almost unable to believe it himself- crime wasn't easy in this area, the cops were strict, which ended up with tight attitudes and unwilling participants.

But finally, hongjoong found a willing distributor, and he seemed permanent for the time being- until he could be replaced.

"I've got a few of them out here already, watching." Hongjoong gestures to four distinct areas, seonghwa perched his arms on the rail. Glittery lights catching every which way. He turned his attention back to the ecstatic man. "And who's watching them?" He hummed.

There was hardly any trust for the underlings, not to say they weren't loyal to the cause, just that they were easily swayed and amateurs, so of course, seonghwa had to ask.

"Mingi"

Seonghwa took in a hiss of breath, the most loyal of all- a little clumsy though. Hongjoong could sense seonghwas thought. "This one is his. He practically begged for it." Joong sniffled a laugh, recalling the plead of the other member. "He said he could take care of it."

There was a silence for a moment before seonghwa spoke up.

"Do you trust him?" He asked. Hongjoong tilted his head, sliding his glasses to lay on the top of his head. He turned his face towards seonghwa for the first time during their conversation, and nodded.

"I trust you, don't I?" Hongjoong answered.

Thursday.

The following day was just as bad as you thought. Things may seem easier the next morning. But jihoon had still ignored you, even as you prepared him a breakfast along with his fresh uniform. A scowl on his pouty- still childish face. It made you want to turn in and wave the white flag.

So, when you sit at the empty kitchen table, staring at the packaged food –that had been coldly left behind– and reminiscing on how you could hardly get the same treatment from your parents growing up, do you begin to feel the ache of missing your best friend.

You couldn't dwell on it. Not when you had work.

Jihoon is as difficult as his mother. Purgatory thoughts playing in your mind over and over. Although your best friend Lia wasn't shy from being mean - borderline - a bully, she was still loyal and caring, and she loved jihoon. She would have had the best lines to say and tell; to convince him to get his act straight. But she wasn't here. And as his godmother, you had the responsibility to play mommy.

You really wished she was here. She'd know how to take care of these things. You've always been the softer one in the duo.

It's past 12, and you have an early shift tomorrow. You sit at the kitchen table, dazed and daydreaming as you wait. When you think over what could be happening, bile rises in your stomach. Jihoon hasn't returned home, and his phone is apparently off. He has been gone for hours. More so than usual.

What can you even do?

The front door is quietly unlocked in the silence.

You spring from the kitchen chair, watching the door be pushed in, followed by a hooded figure who doesn't bother to flicker on any of the lights.

Your hands are spinning him around the next second, although jihoon is taller than you- the veracity of your movement tugs him to face you.

You pull the hood down next, glaring his bruised face in-between broken orbs and clenched teeth, looking at the fresh cuts along his lip and nose. "Where have you been?" You say, as calmly as you can muster. Jihoons shoulders fall. "Out," he mustered, shrugging his shoulder past you to pull off his jacket.

You pull him back by his upper arm before he can go any farther. He winces but makes no move to push you off. His head is tilted towards the floor, and his breathing is labored - tired from whatever activity he had just gotten up to.

"Jihoon, your mom wouldn't want this -" his hand snakes out of your grasp as if you burnt him. "What did you just say?" He scoffs, clicking his tongue. You don't falter. "Yo-" "No, no, you don't get to do that. You don't get to use that against me cause I don't even know what she was like." You go to cut him off. "You know that's not true-"

His foot meets the stool as he kicks it frustrated, a silent curse coming from his mouth.

"I don't know if anything you say is true, I don't even know if you're really someone she'd leave me with to take care of. It's all just bullshit anyway, right?" His snarky tone wavers, his throat pinching close the longer he stays on this subject.

"I'm going to bed" he brushes you off once more when you attempt to reach out.

And you have the same lump in your throat. You don't know what to say yourself. You don't know how to fix this. You don't know what you're doing.

Friday.

Halfway through your shift, do you get another dreadful call- voice-mail this time, since you can't answer your phone during school hours. On the other end is changbin- but this time, he's just dropping information off for you.

"Hey y/n, I'm sorry to be telling you this, but -" he takes a heavy sigh, "one of my colleagues told me about seeing a kid similar to jihoon.. coming from this new operation we're in the middle of. It's a big nightclub - full of colors - hell, you can see it from a mile away, so just ask around. It just got up and running, we - don't tell anyone I said this - but we're looking at charges if he happens to be caught in there. It's not safe for him. that's all. Call me when you get this- we can go together. Do not go on your own. I'll talk to you later."

The end of Friday is full of dread. The streets are full of characters for the night. Fools and drunks and corner girls and the occasional normal group of friends, no matter who it is- you ask.

"The club full of bright lights?"

A man finally repeats your question. He's not entirely sober, nor is he blackout either. He points over his shoulder, giving lazy directions. But as you go, you thank him. Changbin was right. You couldn't miss it from a mile now that you were in a neighboring alleyway- heaving from having run everywhere to find this place.

The front is guarded with men in jackets, smoking cigarettes, and scaring the stragglers who stare a little longer than they should.

You power through, attempting to blend in with a crowd of rowdy girls who are easily let in- You're stopped by the collar of your shirt, pulled out of it and faced to face with a scarred man, eyeing you up and down.

"Are you trying to sneak in? Hey, why didn't you just ask to be let in? What kind of shit are ya trying to pull?" His heavy palm smacks your cheek, pat pat, your skin reverbs from the tiny hits- its a slap to your pride in a way. You scowl at the stranger.

"Theres someone in there I need to get" you defend yourself, pushing the man off your collar. His snarky grin drops into a scowl, the cigarette dangling from the corner of his lip dangerously. "I'm not buying that princess." The man flicks the ash your way, glancing to the other man on the door.

Your appearance is a contrast to everyone else. Your in your best dress for parent-teacher day, having cut it short to find jihoon. You stick out like a sore thumb. Fuck. You're really not getting past this guy.

You had to do something.

"He's underage! He's a kid, a kid shouldnt be in there- If I can't go in and get him- I'm gonna call the cops!" You're making a scene now- you're panicking, you have no idea if jihoon is okay, no idea whether or not he's doing drugs or getting himself hurt.

You're scared for him. But the glance in both of the men's eyes is your top worry. Threats about the cops coming around seems to gather attention, onlookers glancing your way and beginning to crowd the front door. "Cops?" The first man laughs, snatching your arm up with an icy grip that has you hissing in pain. "Are you threatening us? Ma'am, that's not proper. We're running a business here." His tone is attempting to be lighthearted, but the danger behind his grip and smile is driving the breath out of your lungs.

You're dragged inside by the same guy, the lights, the music- everything screams danger with this situation, not only that but the faces- the troubled people around here is nothing safe. You catch glimpses of people snorting different color substances off each table, tiny shiny and distinct pills littered around. Smoke and the burning smell of cigarettes- and something else, something heavy and damp, funky smelling. Earthy. You body makes contact with the door to a room and you're pushed into it abruptly.

Your feet stumble forward towards the middle of the room, where you finally find your balance. Cards are placed on a wide and round glass table and this place smells the worse of the earthy smoke, it clings to every surface, making you cough. When you do, the man in the center of the red velvet couch in front of you peaks up over his glasses.

His hair is white- silver almost, long enough to tuck behind his ears. He gestures with a ringed finger to the man with you to speak.

"She's threatening to talk to the cops."

"She a regular?"

"No, never seen her around here before"

The silver haired man takes a heavy sigh,, he parts from the woman and men around him to meet you face to face. He's tall- intimidating. His height is no joke. He scans you up and down with dark eyes. Emotions you can't grasp on his features.

Whoever the people are, they aren't bothering to look your way, quiet and head down. Sheep's amongst a wolf. He's obviously in charge here. "Look- I don't know who you are but you have kids in here- this isn't a place they should be-"

The flicker of a lighter sounds through the quiet room. The sound of music muffled behind the door gaurded by the man and another. You watch the silver haired stranger take a drag of a cigarette after flipping his lighter closed, the red pulse of light igniting in front of you, it silences you quickly.

"Listen." He starts with a hum, nodding his head as the smoke hits your face, he takes your hand in his, gently patting his large, calloused fingers over yours. You hesitate to let him have it, unsure of his motive. "I understand your concern, but we don't have kids here sweetheart, we don't allow that. Youth is important to our future, right? Isn't that what everyone thinks?" He glances around shortly, switching out the hand holding the cigarette to cage your palm in-between. You can feel the heat of it, see the ash starting to form at the top.

"That's not true." You whisper. His eyes squint. "You calling me a liar?" He murmurs, stepping closer.

"I'm calling bullshit" you hold your head high.

It's silent. Air so tense and thick, you can't tell if it's the smoke or the feeling lingering in your chest. But this man, he's not safe. None of this is. And you're really testing your luck here. "I need-" you start again. But the sudden burn of specks on the back of your hand makes you whimper in pain, attempting to draw back your limb from the man.

He holds it tightly in his, flicking ash onto the back of it, the sting makes you hiss, before he brings the cigarette back to his full lips, your fingers pale from the force.

He takes a drag, blowing it in your face once again.

"I don't like being called a liar." He pouts into his words, dusting the ash across your skin with his thumb, a warning at most. But it stings slightly when he flips your palm over to examine the lines.

"You come in here and threaten my place, I've only been nice to you this entire time." He holds his free hand over his heart. "What do you want exactly, sweetheart?" He squints down at you. The nickname makes your stomach lurch uncomfortably.

"I told the guy at the front. There's someone in here i need-" "and who is that someone?" You go quiet, squinting up your nose at him. He stares back for the next seconds. One.. two.. three-

There's the stinging burn to your palm, it aches and you screech in pain. Attempting to bring your hand back from the heat. A cigarette that is searing into the soft skin in the middle of your palm. You wail at it, a pain so uncomfortable you forgot it even felt real. The ash darkens when he puts it out. Smearing it across your palm. His eyes are unlike what you've seen, no remorse or mercy, just evil.

"I'm not going to ask again. Giving me attitude when I've been sweet-" "i-im not please-" you beg, anything to stop the pain and sting on your palm, to get the man before you to stop before he does something else, something worse. "Shh, quiet, I'm talking." he pats his palm over the open wound. You whimper once more, tears welling in your eyes. It hurts.

Before his lips fall open again. The door behind you swings open.

It's the other man from the front door. Followed by.. a few individuals, you can hardly see with the blur in your eyes.

"Raeun?" The second man to walk through questions. He's taller- his body adorned in what seems to be the closest thing to a suit. A pair of glasses and short- almost buzzcut black and blonde hair. Raeun- the man who grips your palm looses his grip, and you pull it as quickly as you can to your chest.

"Mingi" he huffs. "Come to join so soon?" He laughs, glancing to you. The man, from towards the entrance does the same. "Yeah, Came as soon as I got the go ahead" mingi replies plainly, walking further into the room. "Leave" he gestures to the people across the couch.

An array of limbs and people pass you, but- when you turn to leave, you're stopped by him. "You, stay." Mingi swings his finger out to call you over to him. Gesturing to the couch.

You really don't know what's going on. But mingi is gentle as he grabs your palm, glancing for approval- you don't respond.

"Seonghwa said no more burns, whats this then?" Mingi tilts the wound towards raeun. The same man scoffs. "She said she was gonna call the cops." "And you think this was gonna stop her?" Mingi groans, letting your hand go. You cradle it back to your chest, watching the tall man step up to raeun.

"Get your shit and go, you're out" mingi turns on his heel, stepping back out of the silver man's way to let him leave. Raeun scoffs loudly, "you can't kick me out of here, I made this place what it is-"

"Yeah and where did that lead you?" Mingi waves his hand out to the club. Raeuns face drops even further into anger. "Fuck- is this about her? We can just pay the bitch off-"

"Raeun" mingi hisses his name. The tension could be cut with a knife and you try everything to make yourself smaller in it. "Get. Out." Mingi points to the door.

Raeuns fit seems to cease, a smile creeping up his skinny features. "Oh, you got the position didn't you? The captain finally gave you something huh?" Raeun laughs loudly, holding his stomach that pokes out of a silky cheetah print shirt.

"Which means you're out." Mingi confirms. "Go." He says once more, it's a threat, the tone speaks for itself. Raeun doesn't bother once more, kicking the door open on his way out.

Your heart drops when the door slams shut behind him. Your labored breath calming to accommodate the quiet in the room. Mingi heaves a heavy sigh, taking a seat on the far side of the couch. His hand rakes through his messy hair, parting the spikes to docile them down. With a single hand in his hair and another reaching out for a glass- presumably full of whiskey, mingi finally glances your way.

You're a shaking aching mess, it doesn't take a genius to notice you're not for this lifestyle. You're dressed like a librarian in the midst of a nightclub for fuck's sake. Your palm is clutched tightly, as if you're attempting to squeeze the pain away. Your eyebrows are knitted and you're curled into yourself. Lost in thought.

"What are you doing here?" Mingi breaks the silence. You jump, turning your head his way.

"I'm looking for someone." You quietly answer. Mingi nods, lifting the whiskey to his lips. "Who?" He asks before he takes a gulp of the alcohol. "A boy, his- he goes by jihoon, he's five-eight- probably taller now- i - we haven't checked in a bit, he's got messy an-and curly black hair- it, well.. he hasn't let me trim it in a while and-" your rambles encourages a bubble in your throat, a sob beginning to form.

You could have gotten hurt worse, you still can, you could die here, you could be trafficked, mingi seems capable of it if he was able to test someone like raeun. And now the only thoughts in your mind are how you wish jihoon hadn't been mad, how you wish he could know you love him- in case you do happen to die, or end up missing. How the last thing you did with him was argue.

Your throat closes in when an image of the younger version of the boy shows up in your minds eye. The sob breaks out "he's just a kid, he's all i got- I'm all he's got, I don't want him here, please" you beg, for his sake, more than yours- mingi is so quiet, his aura is scary, he's not like anyone you've ever met before.

"Hey," he calls softly, your face twisting to see his. His eyes have caved, soft and understanding, his eyebrows furrowing. "I'm going to go get your boy, and you're not coming back. You hear me?"

Mingi makes his statement clear just as he gets up to leave.

The breath lodged in your throat exits as you nod. The dull ache of your hand plays at the back of your mind - finally, you'll be able to see jihoon, and you'll both leave.

You'll leave. Together.

There's no windows in this room. There is no light besides the TV in the corner. It flickers with a show you don't know, a familiar actor beating down on multiple men. Your eyes are blurry - and you wonder if you happen to have a first aid kit at home, possibly - if you haven't used all of the content on jihoon from his many fights and bruises. It feels like an eternity while you wait, hoping for light in the darkness.

You hope jihoons okay.

Your hope is answered when the door once again swings open. Mingi is holding jihoon by the scruff of his neck, pushing him into the room, but he sidesteps out of the way to let someone else in.

The cast of the club lights create a halo around the man, the beads of the entrance jingle when he steps inside, like crystals, the light bounces off every inch of the glass beads, illuminating the man in the fur coat from behind.

His hair is a vibrant blue, His nose has a define point, his lips are naturally plump- He's pretty. Which is a surprise. And you thought Raeun was the boss. No.. it's this man. With his cream colored fur coat and his tight leather jeans, a buckle with a silver star to top it off and a sheer black and white top. His shoes are leather, reptilian in design. A pair of dark glasses slotted against his forehead when he pushed them up. Your eyes meet.

It's dangerous. He's dangerous. Everything screaming. This is the type of man you'd see on TV, draped in luxurious brands and with a snarky attitude to come with it, a past- and scars along his figure, fuck- this guy is no good. He's a snake in man's skin. A wolf in sheep's clothing. And you can tell.

"Mingi" his eyes never stray from yours, as if stalking prey, his voice is light and inviting. Mingi glances his way, then yours with a silent response to the man "captain." He pushes jihoon forward and drags the hilt of his shirt up. You stand- to protest, to tell them don't touch him.

But the ink along jihoons skin is a sign of surprise. Of fear to your racing heart.

"Your boy here," the captain pats the young boy on his shoulder, jihoon grimaces, head down turned. "Has our symbol, he has the mark of ateez, and that means he won't be leaving anytime soon."

The lines of an 'A' are sharp, a circle to encase it, it spans almost the entirety of jihoons left pec. It's fresh ink. your stomach churns and twists. You think you're going to be sick.

"Jihoon is one of ours now." He finishes, clicking his tongue.

"Jihoon?" You quietly call. For him to say it's a joke, a sick one- but his face remains the same. Furrowed and ashamed.

Tears well up in your eyes once again. You've failed - failed as a guardian and failed your best friend. You failed the little boy you were given, and you've failed his father and future.

"Please. Please- okay- he's a child- he's only fourteen!" You plead with the man, slipping to your knees, desperate as you are- you're willing to do anything to prevent jihoon from throwing away his future.

The captains' fingers hold a coin- something you haven't seen before then. The men peer back at you in the dark of the room. "I-" "the ink is already there." He nudges jihoons left side, the boy groans in pain, most definitely sore.

"There's no changing that," he nods towards you, flicking the younger boy's cheek. His eyes are demeaning when he stares down at your figure. This all seems like a joke to him. With one final glance to your shaking body, the vibrant haired man turns away towards the door.

"Please. I'll do anything." You beg.

His steps falter. The coin makes contact with the metal of his rings as he plays with it. It dings every so often, like a clock in the silence over and over.

Clink, clink, clink, clink- ...

"Don't make promises you can't keep." You can hear the perk to the man's voice, a smile through his tone. "I can keep it." You confirm without another beat, gulping back your tongue.

"I can keep my promises."

"I swear on my heart."

#ateez fanfic #yandere ateez x reader #x reader #hongjoong x reader x seonghwa #hongjoong x reader #yandere hongjoong #yandere seongwa #yandere fic #yandere ateez #matz x reader #yandere matz #yandere matz x reader #tw!!! #seonghwa x reader #mafia ateez #mafia matz #non idol au #yandere #read at your own risk #ft. mingi

[sturn3]

can you do bfb!chris headcanons ? 😁

one of my fav tropes ever!! thanks for requesting chris, i've been meaning to write more of him! here you go!! thank you for requesting ✧ ﾟ୨ৎ*

🩰🦢🐚⋆｡ﾟ

bfb!chris, who always comes in nick's room to see you whenever you're over. being so annoying that nick always has to resort to kicking him out!

bfb!chris, who always gets you something from the store even when you don't ask!

bfb!chris, who paid attention to every little thing you did. like, playing with your jewelry (earrings, rings, necklaces) when you were nervous. like, when you matched your phone cases with your outfit or how you picked the tomatoes out of every food you got.

bfb! chris, that would fight nick with his life to get ahold of the aux, but would give it to you in a heartbeat if you asked. resorting matt and nick to look at each other on the rear view mirror with a knowing look.

bfb! chris, whose heart would melt when you fell asleep on HIS shoulder instead of nick's, while watching a movie.

bfb! chris, who would grab your phone and run away with it and hold it over his head so you wouldn't be able to reach it!

bfb! chris, who would always participate in your gossip sessions with nick. he'd shit talk every guy you ever mentioned.

bfb! chris, who dies a little inside whenever you push his hair out of his face, when you hold his hand, or when you share your food with him.

bfb! chris, who would see you relaxed on the couch and pick you up on his shoulder ,carry you to the pool, and throw you in! (not smart on his behalf.)

bfb! chris, who would have nick yelling at him because of how much he asks about you.

bfb! chris, who comes running to pick you up from a failed date, with a guy he had warned you about.

bfb! chris, who gets you ice cream and gives you his jacket while he lets you rant all night about how that asshole was so self-absorbed that he didn't ask a single question about you and only talked about himself. chris couldn't comprehend that you got so beautiful for your date and didn't get appreciated.

bfb! chris, who finally told nick about the crush he had on his best friend. something nick knew from the start, so he couldn't help but laugh at how long it took him to confess.

bfb! chris, who stumbled onto you in the dark kitchen when you'd gone for a late night snack. making light conversation that turned into a couple of hours of you both sitting on the kitchen counter and munching on whatever snacks you could find. waking up matt ,who eventually came down to scold you for being so loud.

bfb! chris, who finally asks you on a date.

bfb! chris, who took notes of your ideal perfect date. dressing up, coming to pick you up, getting you flowers, complimenting you, opening doors for you, engaging in conversation, and overall everything you wanted.

bfb! chris, who takes you to walk by the beach, the distant city lights reflecting on the water and making the scene look so dreamy. he couldn't find a more fitting moment for you guys to have your first kiss.

bfb! chris, who finally won you over.

my muse

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #spotify

[inkyray]

phone sex w Matt

warnings/content ahead: smut, fingering, masterbation, uhhhh, pet names like sweetheart n shit, located on the east coast fr, pretty short and quick, no mentions of y/n, x reader, other shit lmk if i forgot

MISS U

IN WHICH, you n your boyfriend matt go to visit family separately, you both yearn to see the other, losing patience quickly

-

Your boyfriend had left for Massachusetts, and you had left for New Jersey, your plans aligning perfectly since the two of you had to go see your families.

The moment you landed you had sent a text letting Matt know you were safe, and you were on your way to your parents house. You had done that since a few minutes prior he had sent you strings of text messages demanding to know if you were okay.

You spent your time with your family, playing with your nephew, making snarky jokes with the fact that your brother's a whole father now as you helped your mother cook. Your sister was ecstatic to see you home, she had a struggling week in highschool and desperately needed your help. You truly missed them, but a soul for a soul, now you missed your boyfriend.

This was your fourth day back home, and you were yearning to see Matt again, not used to sleeping alone without him snuggled up by your side.

It was late, around the AM's but the sun still had not risen. Everyone in the house was sound asleep, you knew because your sister's music had turned off around an hour ago, signifying her announcement to finally decide to sleep. Her room was across from yours, explaining how you'd know.

You turn from your side to your back, your frustration getting to you. You shove your eyes open and reach for your phone, opening Matt's contact immediately. You were texting each other a few hours prior, before dinner. You were aware of how much he misses you, and the promises he was making to do when you reunite. Those promises got creative, and now you were desperate for them.

Just as you were about to press your thumb on your screen, bubbles appear on your screen. You almost flinch, clearly, he had the same idea.

U up?

You didn't know, but his heart jumped when his message immediately went to seen. You stare at his message for a moment, not hesitating to call him immediately.

"Matt." You immediately call, keeping your voice low and breathy. You didn't want to  somehow overhear your conversation. "I fucking miss you." He practically moans into your ear, his voice just as low, everybody asleep for him as well.

"Don't get me started." You raise a hand to rub your eyes, your eyebrows digging close to your eyes, your frustration somehow getting worse even after hearing him.

He begins to talk, ranting into your ear as you memorize everything he says. You grow irritated, being able to hear him, but not touch him. He complains, his soft whispery voice angry, straight into your ear. "Really?" You contribute, making it seem like you were listening as your hand drags down to your pants, slipping past your waist band.

Your fingers press over your underwear, gently rubbing yourself on top of cloth, feeling your wetness grow larger. You bite your lip, pushing your underwear to the side. You slowly move your fingers against your cunt, imagining it was Matt's fingers as  a moan slips from your mouth. He stops talking abruptly, calling your name.

"Yes, Matt?" You whimper, your fingers sliding sensitively past your clit. "What are you doing?" He questions, his voice huskier than it was a few seconds before.

You swallow built up saliva in your mouth. "Thinking of you." You answer honestly. "Yeah?" He draws and you feel yourself getting wetter as you push a finger inside of you, moaning into his ear. "Mm. You touching yourself, sweetheart?" He coos and you almost cum right then and there.

"Fuck– yes." You respond. Through your phone all the way in Massachusetts, Matt has his hand gripping his crotch above his plaid pants, a thumb following the side of his hard cock, your moans and whimpers slipping into his ears. He shuts his eyes, imagining you right by him, pleasuring you, being the reason you sound so angelic.

"What did you say you'll do to me, when you see me again?" You ask, having it come out as a whine as your thumb rubs your clit and a second finger pushes through you. Matt's dick hardens completely, hearing you like this always sends him over the edge. "Bend you over your work desk and fuck you senselessly, have you forgotten?" He tells you as he pulls his cock, stroking himself.

Your fingers quicken, imagining that scenario playing out in your mind. "Keep–" you grouse, "Keep reminding me."

"Cute. You want reminders of how your legs will weaken and fail to hold you up as I fuck you hard?" You whine, pushing against yourself deeper, getting annoyed. Your fingers were a lot shorter than Matt's. His stroking is getting faster, the image of you in his mind. "Or how I'll mark you with my hickey's, from your neck to your perfect tits?"

A separate hand raises to cup your boob, kneading them as you graze your nipple with your thumb. "I miss you." You say, hearing him suppress a moan from the other line. Your physical actions continue, and the only thing being exchanged by you two were the sounds of each other's moans and whimpers. You imagine it were Matt's hands stuffing themselves into you, that it was him pinching your nipples, and that it was him making you feel good.

"Couldn't stay even a week away from me, hm?" He's sounded out of breath, and you feel a cramp begin to form in your stomach. "Touching yourself, thinking of me. I love it, so fucking much." He says, "I'd love it more if you were on my dick." He mutters so quietly you barely hear him, the cramp loosening and your fingers getting covered in your orgasm.

He hears your whimpering, and you could tell he finished too by the surprised moans in your ear.

A second too long passes, and it takes you a moment to register everything, somehow aching for him even more than when you came.

"Matt?"

"I'll ask Nick and Chris when the earliest we could leave for LA is, and you better fucking be there by then."

#matt sturniolo #matthew bernard sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo blurb #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo #the sturniolos #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo #chris sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x you #matthew sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fluff #sturniolo imagine #stromboli #the sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo fanfic

[kamig4mes]

any hamma and kisaki hcs? if you write for them

Hanma baby!! Hahahha, yeah I can write that. I firmly believe that the cannons I wrote are faithful, especially hanma haha. Enjoy it, sweetheart ♡

#pov: Kisaki nd Hanma headcanons!

★ warning: nothing, really.

—hanma!

He's definitely weak to cold weather. It has a very low resistance to minimum temperatures.

He may look and act like a complete idiot (some of this is not a lie), but he's more cunning than he appears to be.

In kindergarten he bullied the other kids to be his friends.

Loose-fitting jackets/garments are his best allies.

If the memory of your phone runs out, it would probably be because it is full of so many random photos that you take every day.

"Kisaki? Of course, even if he denies it, we love each other madly. I know he thinks the same way"

I would blame the weather (and the weather forecasters) for everything bad that happens to it.

"I missed the bus because of those damn bastards, they promised it wouldn't rain all day"

When he is bored he goes for a walk in the streets or just jogging a few blocks.

There are few things that disturb this man. He's so simple and mundane, he doesn't like to over-think things.

Either it's your boyfriend or your friend, there won't be a moment in the day when Hanma won't fire off some mocking comment towards you. His tongue will never lose its edge.

—kisaki!

Kisaki is controlling and calculating, that's why even the most insignificant plans are very well detailed.

Like Hanma, analyzing people is one of his many twisted habits. A habit that you will never be able to break (or at least not so soon).

A shelf full of books about shit reverse psychology, manipulation and human behavior in his room and office. Oh, you'd be surprised at the number of them.

At the same time, he's a select and good reader. Broad and complicated topics have already been processed through his head.

Listen to Arctic Monkeys.

"Whatever that Hanma bastard said about us, he's fucking lying"

Hugs from behind while he leaves kisses on your collarbone are his favorites.

He has a plan b, c and z for everything:

"Of course everything is going to go as planned. And if something goes wrong, I've already made emergency plans."

He probably keeps his old notebooks/planners piled up somewhere in the corner of his room.

He really likes coffee and almost any drink, as long as it's hot.

©2024 ／ ENJOY ♡ — i'll just say that I loved it (like, always? haha) see u, babes!!

#tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokrev #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo rev headcanons #tokrev headcanons #kisaki tetta #kisaki tetta headcanons #tokyo revengers kisaki #kisaki x reader #tetta kisaki #hanma shuji #hanma shuji headcanons #hanma x reader #shuji hanma #anime games #anime x you #anime x reader #pov #x reader

[morganacorp]

"Everything okay?" Lena asked as she came out of Kara's bathroom, finding Alex and Kara with their arms crossed and worried looks on their faces. As soon as she was in front of them, she saw Alex's face harden and Kara's eyes became accusatory.

"Have you been working with Kryptonite?" Alex asked with a cold voice, the same one Lena knows is reserved for criminals.

"I- what's happening?" She chuckled, confused and feeling exposed. One moment she had been hanging out with Kara, some romantic vibes between them, and then the next moment she was being questioned by the Director of the DEO.

"Answer the question, Lena." Kara said barely above a whisper.

"Have you been working with Kryptonite, Lena?" Alex asked again.

"I have." She frowned and Alex rolled her eyes while Kara looked down. "But it's not-"

"You said you wouldn't make any more kryptonite, Lena. You said you'd let Kara know if you made more." Alex said, obviously angry.

"how do you know I'm-"

"We caught the radiation signature in your apartment." Alex said and Kara simply stood behind her, unable to look at Lena.

"That's impossible, I've been working on it in my lab, and I've taken all the-"

"How could you?" Kara finally broke her silence, looking up at her with that self righteous disappointment that was so typical of Supergirl.

"Kara, I'd never do anything to hurt you-" Lena frowned.

"You made kryptonite again." Kara said with bitterness, a heavy tear dripping down her cheek.

"And you just jump to the conclusion that it was to hurt you." Lena scoffed, a bitter smile on her face. "I'm a Luthor, right? You've never trusted me and never will." She whispered and walked to get her coat before her own tears made an appearance.

"You can't leave. Where are you going?" Alex said with an authoritarian voice.

"You're welcome to arrest me if that's what you think you should do, Director Danvers." Lena said simply, walking out the door of Kara's apartment.

Years of effort pulling her walls down gone in an instant, all of her alarms and protections coming back to wrap her heart in barbwire to protect it, even if it was already bleeding.

"Director Danvers." A DEO agent told Alex, bringing a heavy looking briefcase to her while she worked with Brainy and Kara in her lab. "A messenger brought this for you, it's from Miss Luthor."

"Did Lena bring it?" Alex asked worriedly, looking over at her sister.

"No, ma'am."

"Thank you." She said and the agent walked away.

"Can you see inside?" Brainy asked and Kara shook her head.

"It's lined with lead."

"Kara, you should step back in case this is-"

"she wouldn't, Alex."

"You said the same about her making kryptonite." She mumbled and moved the briefcase away from Kara. She opened it slowly and looked at the contents confused.

"What's in there?" Kara asked curiously.

"it's-"

"it's brilliant." Brainy said, grabbing the tiny red box that wasn't bigger than a bar of soap and looking at it curiously.

"What is it?" Kara asked and walked closer to inspect the artifact too.

"It's- Lena has perfected the nano suit I created for you by teaching the nano technology how to filter Kryptonite. This should be sufficient in case of mild exposure." Brainy smiled, fascinated by Lena's work. "This is basically her combining the armor suit with the one we made, making it the best of both worlds, so to speak."

"Oh..." Kara sighed.

"Oh... Shit." Alex whispered sadly, watching something on the computer.

"what is that?"

"her lab logs." She said sadly, showing her the screen.

"Lab Log for a personal project. Video for my personal reference only, and for DEO registration as Kryptonite will be used. Day 1 on the project to develop filtering nanotechnology for Supergirl. I will create a suit that will keep Supergirl safe from kryptonite exposure, eliminating the limited mobility on the armor suit." Lena's voice said and the camera footage showed her arranging different kinds of chemicals and other stuff she'd need. "Step one will be creating supercharged kryptonite to ensure the maximum protection of the suit. A safe decontamination protocol has been established in case of emergency." Lena explained and started the process.

"This is dated... This was the week after you were attacked by kryptonite at the museum."

"She wanted to protect me." Kara whispered, feeling her heart breaking in her chest. She had been caught by surprise and barely made it out alive thanks to J'onn and Nia, but she had to spend two days under the sun lamps to recover from the horrible beating she took. Lena stayed by her side every minute.

"What's in that box, Alex?" Brainy asked and pointed at the larger box in the briefcase.

"The kryptonite Lena made... It's a lead box." She said, swallowing hard.

"I have to fix this." Kara shook her head and flew out of the DEO as fast as she could, making her way straight to LCorp.

Lena was sitting on her white couch, looking defeated and exhausted with a drink in her hand. She didn't notice Kara at first, but when she did her face hardened, becoming a perfect angry mask made of marble to protect her.

"Lena."

"Please leave." She said with a cold voice loaded with emotion.

"We need to-"

"I'm moving back to Metropolis." She said coldly. "I made a mistake by moving here. The first of many mistakes, in fact." She said bitterly. "I will send all the devices and prototypes I've created for Supergirl and the rest of your super friends to the DEO for you to dispose of them accordingly. You'll realize that some of them are finished and others aren't, but what you do with the technology is up to you." She said and Kara stepped closer.

"Lena, let me talk to you-"

"There's nothing to talk about, Kara. You have never trusted me, and it's obvious that the shadow of my name and my brother will always be present between us. I can save the world by your side ten times, and yet there will always be a black stain on the white sheet: my family." She rationalized, walking to pour herself another drink.

"I trust you with my life, Lena. You know it."

"As soon as you learned about the kryptonite you assumed I wanted to hurt you." She scoffed. "That's not trust, it's the opposite." She said looking coldly into her eyes. "I'll always wake that sentiment of suspicion on you, Kara. It will always be there with you and your sister, and even your friends-"

"they're your friends too! They're-"

"they have always been your friends. I was just one more who got to tag along." She said and cursed herself for allowing a tear to escape.

"Lena, you know I love-" Kara whispered, stepping close to Lena and wiping the tear away with her thumb.

"don't you dare finish that." Lena warned her coldly with a quivering lip, the raw hurt in her voice making Kara realize how badly she hurt her. "Please go and stop hurting me." She whispered. "I'll disappear from your life and everything will go back to normal." She said, full on crying now. Kara always knew how to unlock her emotions.

"I don't want you to disappear from my life." She sighed, cupping Lena's face like it was a fragile thing. "You are my life."

"Miss Luthor, the helicopter is ready to take you to the airport." Lena's assistant said from the door, a little shocked to find Supergirl wiping her boss' tears.

"I have to go." Lena said, closing her eyes for two seconds to enjoy the warmth that Kara's hands brought to her face, the same warmth she brought to her life.

"Stay." Kara asked her softly. "Stay with me."

"Goodbye, Kara." She whispered and walked way using every ounce of strength in her body. She sobbed in the elevator ride and tried to look put together enough while getting on the helicopter, ignoring the red cape waving in the wind while Kara watched the love of her life leave her behind.

#lena luthor #kara danvers #supercorp #fanfic

[daryldixonsboy]

Thinking about Daryl x Tradgoth! reader.

(No smut, just a silly lil drabble)

There was never much time for makeup in the apocalypse. Everyone was too focused on surviving and finding basic essentials instead of silly things like white foundation and black lipstick. Being pretty or dolled up didn't matter when you needed to find food and water, or fight for your life.

But Daryl was curious. The two of you sometimes liked asking each other about simple things you did before the fall, soft conversations that stretched through the night, encaptured in each other's arms. Daryl wasn't as open as you, hidden even when you assured him you'd never judge him; in fact, you showed him your own matching scars, a reflection of his own.

You learned to embrace your differences and insecurities over time, which was part of the reason you picked up trad goth makeup before the world fell. Daryl had always been drawn to you, ever since he'd met you at the Atlanta camp. You were so outgoing, so confident, yet not overbearing. No one had a clue where you got the confidence from, until Daryl began talking to you. That's when he learned about your unique, hauntingly beautiful makeup style.

You were already stunning without any makeup, but the thought of you, all dressed up in black, wearing that wonderful makeup? It made his heart jump in his chest.

So, when you got to Alexandria, Daryl finally had the chance to see you in that makeup. He brought it up one late night, nervous as to how you might respond.

"I dunno... might be nice for ya, bein' able to do that again."

"Daryl, I'm not even sure we have the things I'd need to do it properly, as much as I'd love to. Plus, it's so... time consuming. What if we need to leave in the hurry and I'm busy playing dress up?" You sighed, still untrusting of Alexandria. It would've been amazing to do your makeup again, you missed how it made you look and feel, so confident. But it wasn't so important that you'd risk your and your friends' safety.

"I'll get ya whatcha need. Jus' let me know, I'll get it." He promised, his voice low with a softer tone.

You paused, thinking it through carefully. Was it worth it? No, it was never worth it to risk Daryl's life for some useless fucking makeup. He could die trying.

"I don't want you risking your life for something so unimportant."

"I won't. How 'bout ya go try askin' one a' the other women here to borrow some a' their shit? Don't think they'd mind." He offered. Wow, he really wanted this, you realized.

"...Fine. But only 'cause you're so insistent." You joked, rolling your eyes playfully.

He simply smiled, satisfied, and kissed your forehead.

♡

"The hell's all this shit even do?" Daryl asked. He watched you, crouched over a mirror, trying to focus on getting your eyeliner straight, and somewhat even with the other side. A woman in the neighborhood was nice enough to let you borrow everything you needed from her, so long as you gave it back. You had honestly been surprised at the opportunity.

"Ya really wanna know, or you wanna let me do this?" You laughed, glancing over at the archer for a moment, before focusing back on your face. The Cure was playing from a speaker you'd found earlier, ensuring you had something on in the background.

The man looked entranced, staring at you with a relaxed expression, nothing but love and curiosity behind his eyes. It almost made you nervous, but you continued, nonetheless.

You finished up your makeup, putting the lid on your lipstick and plumping your lips in the mirror, smiling back at yourself.

You looked amazing. Your hair wasn't as teased as it usually would've been, but you were working with what you had. Your outfit was perfect, dangly, long necklaces, chunky rings, all black clothes perfectly layered to hug your figure, extenuating your beauty. Your makeup was amazing- if not a little messier than you would've liked.

Daryl stared at you like his head was about to explode.

"Ya look... ya look perfect." He practically whispered, a hand coming up to cover his mouth for a second. He had a small smile on his face, and that was all you needed.

"Is it all you were hoping for, Dixon?" You teased with a smile, narrowing your eyes slightly. Some part of you had been anxious to do your makeup. What if he didn't like it? What if he hated it? Then, seeing that look on his face, all your worries diminished. This was the man who would worship the ground you walked on if you let him. In his mind, it was a privilege for him to even lay eyes on a woman as beautiful as him.

"Mhm," He mumbled, nodding eagerly. He stepped towards you, pulling you into him, lingering in front of your face like he was asking permission to kiss you.

"You're gonna get back lipstick on your face if you kiss me, y'know that, right?" You mumbled, looking up at him with a smirk. He pulled you in by your waist.

"Ya think I give a damn?"

This was my first time writing a drabble sooo lmk if y'all like it. I'm goth, and I thought it might be interesting lol

(Btw, happy 420 to all my fellow stoners🍃)

#daryl dixon #daryl twd #the walking dead #the walking dead daryl dixon #twd daryl dixon #daryl x female reader #twd daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl dixon fanfiction

[babygirl-diaz]

Not sure why u think ur goading me, u the one that's going to end up in hell 👹

See you there with me, anon! 😉

***

(Here have another story because I know you secretly love BuckTommyEddie and want more. And the best part? This is A/B/O)

Eddie put on his best poker face and opened the door. The envelope from the doctor's office clutched tightly in one hand. Before he could even enter the house, his alphas were on him.

"There you are!"

"Why are you so late?"

"Is everything okay?"

Questions were thrown his way and he wasn't given a chance to answer any of them.

"Guys! Just give me a minute to breathe here," Eddie told them with no heat behind his voice.

"Right. Sorry," Buck apologized.

"Sorry, babygirl, we were just worried about you," Tommy added and then said, "I'll go get you some water"

After Tommy left, Buck took Eddie's empty hand, led him to the couch, and sat down, leaving enough space for Eddie to sit beside him.

Once Tommy came back with the water, he sat down on Eddie's other side.

Eddie downed the whole glass of water in one go, and gave his alphas are sheepish look when they looked at him with concern.

"Babygirl, is everything okay?" Buck asked, reaching out to stroke Eddie's cheek.

"Did the ultrasound go well?" Tommy asked, kissing his other cheek.

"Yeah, it went... about as good as you'd expect," Eddie replied.

His boyfriends only looked more concerned after he said that.

"Did something happen?" Buck asked, worry lacing his voice.

"Yeah... something... big," Eddie replied.

"Shit, are you okay?" Tommy asked. And it made Eddie smile internally.

"Sorry, we couldn't be there with you," Buck added. "Though, I feel like we should have. Whatever happened, you shouldn't have had to go through it alone."

Eddie opened the envelope in his hand and took out the scan. "Well, if you did then I wouldn't get to break the news to you." He couldn't help the smile that twitched on his lips.

"What news?" Tommy asked concerned and looked down at the scan.

"So you know how we joked that what if we end up having twins?" Eddie asked and looked at his alphas.

The alphas had identical confused looks on their faces. They were adorable.

"Not so much a joke anymore," Eddie told them and broke out into a grin.

It seemed to click for the two alphas what Eddie meant and a smile slowly spread across their faces. "We're having twins?!" Buck asked excitedly.

"Actual twins?" Tommy tried to confirm.

Eddie nodded, laughing. "Yes, yes we are!"

The two alphas cheered and immediately wrapped their arms around him and tried to kiss him at the same time. They failed miserably and then Buck let Tommy go first. After Buck kissed him as well, they put both their head on each of Eddie's shoulders.

"I love you both so much," Eddie told them.

#oh look they are back #bucktommyeddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #tommy kinard #911 abc #fanfiction #omegaverse #ask

[chitinleg]

"Mister Bashir, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you."

Julian, why in god's name would you invite him to play the villain?

#my art #ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #star trek deep space nine #garashir #image desc in alt text #pencil #ok so on the outset it may look to some viewers as though julian invited garak to play the villain to get dommed by the scary lizard #this is not the case. not in my heart #in my heart julian felt a burst of something funny when Garak asked him ''what if you'd killed me'' #and he responded ''what makes you think i wasn't trying'' and garaks face blooms into a sudden understanding and respect. ooh. #That's that heady shit. catching garak off guard. ooooh. that's that High Quality Endorphins Happening. but. gotta pack that up for later #(he will not unpack that later) because garak also just threatened to kill 5 of his friends who are STILL IN DANGER. NO TIME FOR THIS. #so after everything. and MONTHS after OMB. he invites garak to something like a playful rematch. sort of. #after all theres only so long that garak can stomach being a sidekick u know? he needs to be able to do his own machinations. #so they make a character for him thats a villain. a little more cerebral than falcon. a little more ambiguous in his motivations. #now there's also. a secret game at play here (there are always games. doctor) and its actually between garak and his own self #you see garak Also wants bashir to defeat his character. he also wants to be shocked. challenged. a little dismantled even (state forbid!) #and because garak wants that for himself? hes going to fight tooth and fucking nail to make sure it doesn't happen. #that Gayle clip from ''COMPANY IS COMING'' but its garak yelling ''WE CAN'T LET THEM KNOW WE [WANT]!!!'' #and its a horrible idea for both of them but. oh so so exciting #you understand. #these rituals arent intricate so much as they are transparent but all encompassing. a fish doesnt know its swimming in water until its out #you understand? you understand. #thank you to anyone who found the time to read these tags i hope you enjoyed yourself and/or found what you were looking for #also garak is dressed so boring bc hes hiding himself u know how it is

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Me, when Sebastian joins my party for the first time: Okay, this time I'm not going to forget about you, Sebastian. I'm going to make an effort to use you a lot this playthrough so I can better understand you.

Also me, immediately forgetting about Sebastian while finishing Act 2 and making it halfway through Act 3 before I finally notice his Faith quest: ......................Oh. Right. My bad.

#da2 #dragon age 2 #sebastian vael #listen in my defense..........i don't like bringing sebastian anywhere sksksks #okay look i seriously tried but every time i bring him somewhere i always think man i wish i had brought someone else #and also i do just forget about him! i finally added him to my party at one point and he had 24 points to spend... #that's how long i neglected him after i promised myself i was gonna use him more and then i didn't #it's not that i don't like sebastian as a character though i do tend to side eye him A LOT... it's just that i like everyone else more #even aveline like i'd take aveline over sebastian any day and that's saying something... or is it? i have a lot of feelings about aveline #whereas my feelings about sebastian could maybe fill a thimble...it doesn't help that in my canon run as a mage hawke #i romance anders and well... sebastian wants me to kill anders and my hawke is like 'do i approve of blowing up the chantry? complicated.' #'am i breaking up with anders for this? absolutely. do i still love him? mmhmmm. am i going to kill him sebby? i'd sooner set varric aflame #then sebastian threatens to bring an army to kirkwall and leaves so i can't say i have the greatest opinion on him #even the time where i did kill anders and he stayed in my party he was just... there #and then he glitched out and started t posing while asking if ed ever found out what anders wanted to do in the chantry so..... yeah #but even this playthrough where i'm playing as a lady warrior with a different personality and everything... i'd just rather use anyone els #also keep him away from bethany i do not approve sksksks she's too good for him #i want to understand and see the different angles of him like with the other companions but i've yet to convince myself to do it #also sebastian romancers out there can you like... explain? genuinely can you explain the appeal? i'm curious #because of all the love interests in da2 i look at sebastian and you'd think i'd maybe be more interested? but it's like... #i know about the chaste marriage and everything like that's fine i don't need sex to be a thing in the relationship but it feels less like #an asexual romance and more like... y'know... being with a priest and i guess that's just not one of my kinks? sksksks #i guess there's also the prince angle but i romanced alistair in dao and kept him a grey warden i don't really care about royalty power #and i don't have issues with him being a part of the chantry [well i do but yknow what i mean] since i romanced cullen in dai #and his whole deal with the chantry and magic and shit makes his romance interesting to me but sebastian is just.... a bit too much i think #i don't know i'd like to understand because i really don't but i also keep forgetting about him

[old-long-john]

just some (spoilery) thoughts about s2 of the silly pirate show

to me, that show's greatest crime is that it just doesn't make me feel anything. at all. it's somehow a complete emotional vacuum, despite the overwrought and scenery chewing performances. it's definitely at least partly a me problem, but s2 was so much worse for it than s1. I didn't laugh out loud at any of it, I didn't cry at any of it, I didn't swoon at any of it, I just didn't fucking care about any of it. I wanted to and I tried to, but I didn't. Izzy was the most interesting part of the story and I couldn't even muster up a lump in my throat at that ending. it was forced to the point where I was honestly kind of embarrassed.

#putting this under a cut because I'm not trying to start shit I just want to put my thoughts on my blog #people can like whatever they like and not everything is for everyone and I know that #I just keep seeing huge emotional reactions to this show #and it's baffling to me #I feel the same way about GO so maybe it's somehow a genre thing? #stories that are 90% whimsy and fluff do absolutely fuck all for me #so when they try to manufacture big emotional payoffs I'm just like ??? what are you doing?? #you'd have as much luck trying to make me cry at an episode of peppa pig #(actually wait I'm slightly lying - letting Con sing in drag was the best stupid choice they ever made and I loved it)

[shhh-secret-time]

10, 26, and 27 please!!! 🧡🧡

Ahhhh! Yay! Thanks anon you're the best!

10) Pick an element for them! What is it?

For Jean, that's kind of a tough one but it'd probably be lightning! It's quick and flashy! I think she'd like the feeling of the crackle too! Plus she wouldn't need an Amp anymore! She would be the Amp!

26) What are their loved/liked gifts?

Oh! This isn't something I've thought a lot about! So thanks for asking this one!

Loved: Honey, pins and patches, stupid stickers, anything she can wear that will remind her of you, home cooked meals! (She cannot cook for shit, please help her.),

If you give her cds and records, she's on one knee with a ring out. Congratulations.

Liked: Any cool rock you find, plants (the only reason this isn't love, is because she's afraid she'll kill it and it'll make her sad), guitar picks, and energy drinks!

27) What are their hated/disliked gifts?

Again! Not something I thought about! This one is gonna be tricky Jean's not usually a picky person! She's just happy you thought of her.

Hated: anything too expensive - she's not a fan of people spending too much money on her, money (she'd rather you just keep it and use it on yourself)

Oh! Nuts! She's allergic! So she'll die. (Because that stupid ass will want to eat them very badly.)

Dislikes: Most gems (again, it's a bit too much. It's not that she doesn't appreciate it. It's just..not her style). Books (again, not that she doesn't appreciate it, she just won't have the time to read it.) She can't read.

And then probably things like mugs? She's never home so again it's another gift that will just collect dust.

#oc ask list #ask list #oc ask meme #ask game #oc lore #Jean Wellman #oooooh dude this is so much fun! #had me thinking!! #I have a hard time imagining Jean dislike/hating anything #went off the old stardew logic #like if you gave her one of those things #you'd never know #because she'd do everything in her power to try to like it #a lot of her disliked gifts are just there because she feels bad #they're stuff she wouldn't get to use so it would just be forgotten #and that sucks! #I could go on for days about her spoiling you though #if you mention liking a shit she's got her wallet out and asking you what color you want it in! #she loves buying things for people #especially if it's something silly or stupid #like if she finds an ugly antique and it makes her laugh #she's buying it and someone's getting it #matching bracelets and necklaces #if she can put in a piercing that makes her think of you? #raaaaah she's all about it #Jean just loves her friends and people #material things that hold memories #that's where it's at baby #the element question was fun too! #thinking about her shooting lighting is fun

[dexaroth]

godddd i WANT to like minecraft so much but theres fucking nothing going onnnnn the biomes are boring the geography is def better than was before but still theres so little variation and even then the core gameplay is just. nothing. the inventory management sucks so much ass ive straight up stopped playing vanilla without bundles and the way you progress in many areas is so dumbb like teehee go find a jungle biome that could be 200 blocks or 20000 blocks away from spawn just so you dont implode of anger trying to build something decent without wasting time on countless dirt pillars. oh and also the only things that look good are structures from the outside because furnishing stuff is practically impossible since theres no furniture. lolz

there are of course many mods that adress this sort of thing but each take it in a new direction and sometimes you just want a branch of the river yknow?

ive been trying to find datapacks for this sort of thing but it doesnt seem like they can accomplish much so it leaves everything to need to be mods.. sigh

#ive said it before and ill say it again. with the amount of creativity minecraft allows it should not be the type of game you need > #>to pump full of mods to flesh out #literally the most basic thing. a pixel. now make it 3d. it doesnt get easier than that to add things to! for fucks sake!! #i keep considering learning how to make datapacks or resource packs to add my own stuff to it #but then i remember. whats the point in building a house if danger can be avoided entirely by spamming torches everyone #literally the only two things you ever need to worry about is a basic ass food meter -> just kill animals #and health -> make everythign sun bright and have an automatic beef cooker for if you do lose health #AND THEN WHAT MY GUY. THEN WHAT!!!!!!!!!! #god everytime i think about mc i feel like making a mod myself but then it loses any personal value bc you know how everything works #and you'd have to test the shit out of it too so at one point it solidifies in your memory and poof. it aint new anymore #i hate this game with the fiery passion of someone who knows how great it could be. it hurts so much. *whimper* #i was gonna say it almost surpasses the pain i have for what watchdogs could have been but wd is a much smaller scale #and its like. sad. but i genuinely feel angry at how basic minecraft is. i look at it and go are you fucking kidding me. what the fuck man #is it too much to ask for a survival game where building a house has a fucking purpose and isnt a painful process to achieve. fkin hell #dextxt

[irritablepoe]

i hate the smell of perfume

#sorry. but when you're bombarded with it 24/7 bc your father doesn't know how to do things “just a little bit” then you'd hate it too #he always has to go over the top with everything even the way he talks like i can hear you you don't have to basically yell at me i already #-have regular headaches bc of you and also my lungs aren't getting any better from your overdose of perfume #why can't he use just a spray or two???? #i have a sensitive nose and you're already on my hater-list #fuck off fuck off fuck off #vent #johnny's silly rambles #(sorry for being a hater on main but he kinda deserves it) #i've been saying this shit for years now #and then he stops for like a few month and then picks it back up again like i wouldn't notice it??? idk what he's thinking #probably not at all. #fucking piece of shit of a dad

[louderfade]

#i carried a printout of this around with me in my bag as a teenager bc i was a big dork #to be clear it was the pumpkins of whom i was such a fan and not billy specifically #besides being a terribly obnoxious cringelord going through a christian phase he was also terrifically up his own ass about his bad poetry #and he was always being a dick about/to people who use drugs which is a very bad look imo so i was not exactly a billy fan #so i don't know why this stupid thing was so important to me #i think i was grieving the fact that all my favorite bands broke up before i was old enough to see them live but who knows #tbh i think teenage reasoning is mostly a mystery to everyone. no one can explain their thought process from age 15. #even current 15 year olds seem to be pretty clueless and generally at the mercy of their own brains #when i think of being 15 i recall a lot of chaos and confusion and a vague but constant rage toward everything in general #but picses iscariot does rock. those songs hold up and so does gish. just sayin. #this has been a boring post about some shit i liked too much as a teenager that i bet you wish you'd just ignored at this point #follow for more boring content about my personal life likely to make you reevaluate the ways in which you spend your time #pastlife #smashing pumpkins