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yanderemommabean · 2 years

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Hey Momma I could use some advice if that's ok. I'm currently in year 12 (Australia) and I'm kinda terrified about the future. I don't know what I want to do as a career and I'm scared I'll make a mistake and ruin my life. I try and tell myself that I'll be ok but I'm aware that I need to make that happen so the safety of that sentence goes away. I'm 18 and have never had a job (but I'm trying) and can't drive yet. I just feel like a mess I know I like talking to people about their feelings and I don't mind kids so I think maybe I'll go to TAFE and study psychology and childcare and I like history. But I'm not sure if it'll make me happy or not and I mostly just don't want to end up as a deadbeat still relying on her parents. Any Life advice you could give?. Sorry if this made you uncomfortable.

I completely understand the fear of the future. You feel as if life is coming at you too fast, demanding too much and asking questions you have no time to answer.

You're young. You have eighty years or even more in this life, and trust me, the younger years are for figuring out what works and what doesn't. You aren't a "Failure" if you don't find your calling ASAP. Media has poisoned us to believe that if we aren't successful by 25 we should stop trying, when that simply just isn't the case or how life works.

You're right to be concerned, but know that you DO have time, and if that means taking one road and finding out you need to take another, then so be it! Take it one step at a time, and keep moving forward! Even if you fuck up here and there, you'll be alright.

If you think childcare is a path you'd flourish in then by all means! you have my support for it for sure!

And-for the record here- I'm 22, i went to nursing school because it's what I thought my mom would want and I got so sick both physically and mentally that I had to quit.

Relying on your parents at a young age like this isn't a bad thing, hun. I live with my family and rely on them for things such as cars and what not, does that make me a deadbeat?

All over the world, living with family and relying on each other is normal. Having someone have your back doesn't make you a deadbeat. Whomever put that in your head is wrong plain and simple.

I hope this isn't a dumb ramble sksksk I just want you to know that you have time, you're still young, and depending on people doesn't make you a deadbeat unless you refuse to help or just lay around and act entitled.

As for job advice? Well i've had a few but they were fast food and retail, but you learn as you go from my experience. Just be upfront about any questions or concerns and most people are willing to answer, such as "What do we do if this happens?" or "Wait what about this? Do I do that or is that someone else's job?"

If you come to a place where things are too much, and you need a breather, that's A-OKAY as well! Life is scary, but I'm here to help however I can as well as the rest of the bean family!

I hope I made sense lol I talk too much

-Mommabean

#anon asks #anon confessions are amazing #mommabean #you're going to be ok #I LOVE YOU AND YOU WILL BE OK #REREAD THAT AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES FOR YOU TO BELIEVE ME

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dreemwalker · 2 years

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Hey. I know my blog is normal just madness and chaos but serious time now. I know things might be hard for you, I know it might feel like its never going to get better, but that isnt true. Something that this world has taught us is that you aunt allowed to feel bad because other people have it worse, and that isnt true. There is always going to be someone who has it worse, is the one person who has it the worst out of everyone on earth the only person allowed to feel bad for themself? No. Your trauma and emotions are valid, no mater how many people say they have it worse. You can be depressed and not have depression. You can experience anxiety withought having an anxiety disorder. You are allowed to be happy, and you are also allowed to be upset, and you’re allowed to feel nothing. Its ok if you arent ok right now, its ok if you arent ok all the time, its ok if you’re not sure when you’ll be ok again, because you have plenty of time to figure it out. You will be happy, and feel better, and have fun again. You are loved and appreciated, even if you dont feel that way. And if you dont think that you’re loved or cared for, if you need someone to talk to, or just a place to vent, message me. I’m a good listener and I wont tell anyone anything you say, I promise.

Anyway, back to chaos: screeches into the void

#mental health #love #vent #care #depression #anxiety #emotions #you're going to be ok #now get in the car #we're going to Starbucks

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ministarfruit · 5 months

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stardew valley marriage candidates

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charlietheepicwriter7 · 2 months

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De-Aged Danny, gesturing to a dazed Bruce inside Wayne Manor: And this is Bruce! Otherwise known as the Himbo! Reporters: Hmm, yes, interesting... Bruce: What the- Danny: I'm not sure what that word means. I heard it from Dick, but no one will give me my answer, not even Jason, who is easily bribed. Bruce: Why are there reporters in my house!? Danny, innocent and childlike: They asked to come inside, Bruce! They seemed like really nice people, so I thought it'd be polite to give them a tour. Bruce, filled with infinite patience: I really wish you had asked me before you did that, chum. Danny: But why? We don't have anything to hide... do we, Bruce?

Or, in order to rise to the Ghost Throne, Danny has to complete a series of trials to prove he is capable of ruling (or any other reason, Danny just needs to do trials to prove himself).

The last trial, issued by Clockwork, is thus: discover the Wayne Family secret in two weeks without the use of any of his powers.

He has one shapeshift to pick a form that could endere him to the Waynes, but only one before he starts and he has to get close to the family by his own wits. Danny, after studying the family and reading of one sentence summary of each Wayne, picks the body of a six-year-old little boy that looked like a child Jason Todd.

Bruce: That child is up to something. Dick, third favorite: I don't know, Bruce; he acts like a normal kid. Jason, #1 favorite: I doubt the old man's ever met a normal kid. Tim, least favorite: Bruce is right, but can you please not talk like the villains from Chicken Run.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #de-aged danny #danny thinks the trials happen in simulations in the GZ #he has no idea they were alternate realities each time #c: danny fenton #c: bruce wayne #c: dick grayson #c: jason todd #jason is favorite since danny is convinced that his “death” has to do with the Secret #and also for being completely 100% ok with throwing down with a child #tim is least favorite because he's too suspicious #damian is second favorite for also being 100% ok with throwing down with a child #dick is tearfully trying to gentle parent jason into being a good big brother #all “you're going to be such a good big brother let me teach you.”#which jason doesn't NEED but is kinda flattered that dick has so much faith in him to be a big bro

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tubbytarchia · 2 months

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My friend convinced me of the potential of this very specific trio (especially in a roadtrip context) so I'm spreading the propaganda

Again, oddly specific trio but listen. Look at this graph @liauditore made. This is all you need to know (TLDR these guys make for fun duos between one another, but putting all three of them together would neutralize any cons that would arise otherwise)

We call them sappies because idk it sounds cute and funny. Very vaguely based on the idea of tree sap (not just from how that can be related to "treebark" but also the idea of sap being a thing that helps a tree survive and making for good glue and medicine in some cases. Idk they're sappy. You get it)

The croc meme is based on this. I think Martyn would be too stupid to grasp the concept of gender so I replaced his speech bubble with watcher lore

#zombiecleo #rendog #renthedog #martyn inthelittlewood #inthelittlewood #This is not drawn with shipping in mind but pondering tagging the specific ships/duo names...? I have no idea whats acceptable #You're welcome Liau. Thanks for going to sleep like 3 days ago (promised to draw Liau the sappies as a thanks)#Cleo's growing vegetation out of her scalp but Martyn cant comprehend it #ok thanks for approval. Im tagging the duos lol #treebark #I dont actually know the other two fuck #trafficblr #tubby art

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somecunttookmyurl · 3 months

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the "all customer service people are trained by management to be illiterate apes you can never get any resolutions by design dont be mean about it" crowd would faint to know there is a guy at my bank RIGHT NOW attempting to resolve an issue that would normally take a week

see. i tried to order food (having nothing of note in the house, and too much pain currently to get down 3 flights of stairs about it) and the payment failed on just eat's end.

but it went through fine on my bank's end, so the funds are tied up in "pending"... for a week. my available balance is now 95p so i can't just do it again

the bank cannot typically do anything about this until the normal time frame for collection passes and they funds just release automatically. just eat have zero contactable customer service

but it is for FOOD and there's no more MONEY and i am a DISABLED CUSTOMER so BY FUCKING GOD not on zeeshan's watch

#i said i live by myself - which i do it's kind of the problem right now #so he's actually said 'i fully understand what you're going through so please know i'm here even if you just want to talk to someone #whilst i wait for a response from the product team'#like. ok king #i hope you can always find a pen when you need one and it always works

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aibyoutachi · 2 months

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happy valentine's, what if yosuke romance valentine's event was real

#my art #finished stuff #souyo #it's good enough to go into the souyo tag probably #sorry i'm not on here as much recently :"D i hope you're all doing well!!#look at yosuke's moe little sleeves. ok goodby

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dapper-lil-arts · 3 months

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uh oh!!!!

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sarasade · 5 months

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One of the most generally useful things to come out of Hbomberguy's plagiarism video and Todd in the Shadows' similar video on misinformation is how they bring transparency to the internet phenomenon of "I made up a guy to get mad at".

Seriously, I've seen people make up a lot of stupid shit on the internet over the years and it's often just a manipulative attempt to paint a group of marginalized people in a bad light.

That's the TL;DR version of this post.

ANYWAY here is the long version

Those videos are mostly about James Somerton's plagiarism of other queer people's work. However I'd like to talk about that 20-30% of Somerton's original writing- and oh boy. It's mostly about complaining about White Straight Women and misgendering well-known trans creators such as Rebecca Sugar and calling Becky Albertalli a straight woman while it's pretty common knowledge that she was forced to out herself as bi because she received so much harassment over "being a cishet woman who appropriates LGBT+ stories".

One thing that irks me especially is how in his Killing Stalking and Gay Shipping videos Somerton brings up how straight women/ teen girl shippers exploit gay men for their personal sexual fantasies. This gets brought up several times in his videos.

Being all up and arms about Somerton being a "White Cis Gay Who Hates Women and Queer People tm" is not that useful because the kind of rhetoric he's using is extremely common in fandom and LGBT+ spaces on Tumblr, TikTok and Twitter. We really don't need to bring Somerton's identity to this since he is in no way an unique example.

It's hypocritical to make this about an individual person when I've seen A TON of posts, tweets and videos where queer people talk about these Sinister Straight Women who are supposedly out there fetishizing and exploiting queer men. It's pretty clear to me that this is just an excuse to shit on women and queer people for having any sexual interests. At worst these comments are spreading misinformation about BL, a form of media that has been excessively studied by both Asian feminists and Asian queer women.

This all sounds really familiar and I think it's good that people are calling it out as what it is: misogyny and transphobia. I'd also point out the potentially racist motives behind being this hypervigilant about Asian media.

People can absolutely be misogynist regardless of gender or orientation. I really don't know why we need to create some kind of made up enemy to get mad at. I actually think it's almost sinister how "anti-fujoshi" people call Slash shippers and fujoshi misogynists or claim that they have internalised misogyny while being dismissive about women's interests and creative pursuits under Japanese obscenity laws, China's censorship, book bans in American schools and various other disadvances that are part of being a queer and/or female creator.

I think we shouldn't be naive about the bad faith actors who want to turn queer people against each other. For example Fujoshi.info mentions anti-gender (TERF, GC etc) movement using this kind of rhetoric as well.

Anyway if you want to read more:

- about the false info around BL fandom fujoshi.info

-There is the scholar Thomas Baudinette who studies gay media in Japan. Here is a podcast with him and the scholar Khursten Santos

-James Welker is a BL scholar as well. Here is a podcast interview about the new international BL article collection he edited.

-I've already talked about this Youtube channel by KrisPNatz and his great Killing Stalking video that actually engages with the themes of the manhwa

- There is also HR Coleman's thesis DO NOT FEED THE FETISHIZERS: BOYS LOVE FANS RESISTANCE AND CHALLENGE OF PERCEIVED REPUTATION where she interviews 36 BL fans and actually breaks down why fetishization has become such a huge talking point in the fandom discourse. Spoilers, it's mostly about young queer people and women being worried that they will get judged and pathologized for their interest in anything sexual.

-Great podcast about Danmei and censorship with Liang Ge

#Also I don't mean that you can always tell if someone is a transphobe or a TERF based on a couple of things they have said.#My point is that sometimes ok people can have very regressive ideas too.#This is not a call out post about how we should go around accusing anti-fujoshi people #todd in the shadows #hbomberguy #sarasade text #even I've got those “Fandom is mostly straight women fetishizing gay men” comments once and it begins to sound kind of passive-aggressive #when you're a bi woman. Lot of fandom stats at AO3 show that fandoms are montly bi women. who are these people calling straight exactly hmm #also straight women are completely ok leave them alone. I know I know Yes I'm so brave for saying this #cw: transphobia

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leupagus · 6 months

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On Voting in America

So one of the most profound comments on routine chores that I've ever encountered was, hilariously, the Pickle Rick episode of "Rick & Morty," where (after a lot of shenanigans have already ensued) this therapist absolutely lays Rick out:

"I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is: it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."

I think about this at least once a week — usually while I'm doing my laundry or sweeping or some other task that needs doing and won't get me anything more than clean clothing or a dog-hair-free floor. There's no Pulitzer for wiping down your microwave or scrubbing your toilet; no one's awarding you for getting all the dishes out of the sink. At best you have the satisfaction of crossing it off your list.

Voting is very much the same (and I'm talking about the US here, as an American). Sure, you sometimes get a sticker; but nobody's going to cheer for you. There's no adventure here, no potential for anything more than crossing something off of a list. It's a chore, something that needs doing in order to repair, maintain, and yes even clean. So I get why people don't like doing it.

And I've decided I don't give a shit.

Do it anyway. Your country takes astonishingly little from you — taxes, the once-in-a-blue-moon jury duty, and a theoretical draft that hasn't been used in over half a century and likely will never be again — but it asks you (asks! not requires! not demands!) to vote once a year. It's not always easy; especially in conservative states, the impediments to vote can be ridiculous. But it is once a year and unlike in our nation's all-too-recent past, you will not die if you do it.

In fact, the worst outcome from voting these days is that the person or issue that you vote for loses — but you won't know if they lose until after the election. Polls are less accurate now, for a whole host of reasons; you cannot know until after the election who or what will win. This makes your vote more valuable than possibly ever before.

Use that power. Not because it's exciting or even rewarding, but because your vote is what keeps our country's metaphorical teeth from falling out and our metaphorical ass from stinking.

Brush, wipe, vote.

#ok the metaphor may've gotten a little gross but rick & morty chose it not me #anyway if voting didn't matter then rich people wouldn't do it #and I can assure you: they do #also: please don't think of voting like a reward for the person you're voting for #or as a punishment for the person you're not voting for #my mom's advice was:#think about the most vulnerable people you care about and vote for the person or issue that will make their lives better #and you'll rarely go wrong #yes there are often two bad options but if you're old enough to vote you're old enough to understand the difference between bad and less ba #anyway that's all the political lecturing I'll do this year #except maybe to complain about the 18-hour day I'll be having on Tuesday #oh also SIGN UP TO WORK ELECTIONS WE NEED MORE HELP #thank you #politics!

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temeyes · 12 days

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took the three of them to our outing today! the Bois had fun!

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lazylittledragon · 1 month

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what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

#ramble #ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared #this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops #sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news #i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION #because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans #so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong #i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong'#but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't #especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything #i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people #all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain #i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused #nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns #anyway this was long. that's the story

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warpedpuppeteer · 2 months

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You know what gets me? The fact that Buck was so fucking pissed at his parents and was taking it out on the punching bag yet when Eddie places a hand on the punching bag, Buck stops mid punch. He's so in tune with Eddie and his movements that he catches the move while he's fucking pissed and stressed and goes oops can't hurt the boyfriend by accident. Also the fact that Eddie knew Buck wouldn't accidentally punch him . The fucking trust he has.

#buddie #AND YOU'RE TELLING ME THEY'RE NOT CANON??#anyways I'm slightly obsessed with that scene #because truly he was just fucking going ham on that punching bag #i would've accidentally punched Eddie's hand #but not buck #he cannot be normal about anything #also the strength it takes to hold back that punch like ok damn buck

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llamagoddessofficial · 2 months

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How would your boys be with an MC that likes to play fight? Would they let her win? Would they refuse all together?

Sans: He does enjoy play fighting - but only the relaxed kind, and exclusively with people he really really likes. It's a lot of physical contact for him. You have no idea how much of a privilege it is that he engages with you like that, tussling and teasing when he normally can't even stand to sit too close to somebody. When the play fighting comes out, it's a very reliable sign you're one of his 'forever people'.

Oh, he'll let you win alright; oh noooo, he's pinned under a hot human, oh nooooooo truly he is defeated. He's totally dead, only a kiss can bring him back. It's the only way. Right on the mouth, please.

Red: Play fighting might as well be one of his love languages. He likes it rough, after all. A bonus of having to do a lot of actual fighting while underground is he's very good at controlling his strength, he's aware of his body, he knows exactly when to apply pressure and when to ease off. Red is probably the safest and most fun skeleton to play fight with; he has an extremely gentle nature underneath all that swagger and he loves letting it out.

He enjoys casual displays of his strength. He'll let you think you're winning, then flip you onto your back, or pick you up and toss you over his shoulder, easily disarming you. Though like Sans, he's also not adverse to "losing" and having his very hot human love interest all over him. He'll happily ruin the moment with sexual remarks too.

Skull: He loves play fighting.

... Well... he likes when you TRY to play fight. He appreciates the effort, he likes any consensual contact and anything that shows you're not scared of him. He won't be doing all that much fighting, he's far too big, as soon as he even gently play fights he immediately wins. But he'll act the part, faux collapsing when you've defeated him, even if it's as convincing as a bear pretending to be defeated by a small cat.

You'll win every time. You've gotta understand, though, that play fighting with Skull is playing with fire. He'll get swept up in how cute you look when you have that victorious glimmer in your eyes, and his cute aggression will rapidly rise. You'll end up crushed by cuddles sooner or later.

#llamagines #you [straddling red]: What're you gonna do now huh??? I've bested you in combat!!#red: i'll beg if you want me to #you:#red:#you: Ok. I'm going to bed-#red: YOU'RE NO FUN

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lineffability · 9 months

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"Crowley."

Crowley froze, every atom of his body coming to a complete standstill. Aziraphale had appeared out of nowhere, just like that, and he felt like a fly in a spider's web, like he had just run against a glass door that he could not have seen. Oh, this was cruel. He did not turn around.

"Don't even use doors anymore?" He tried to keep his voice level, cold, unaffected. He failed considerably, but the message got across anyways.

"I'm sorry," Aziraphale said, immediately flinching at the words. The first time they were seeing each other again, after-- after that, and his first words were I'm sorry and he was apologizing for not using a door? Aziraphale felt like swearing, but could not. "I thought you wouldn't open if I-- well. I thought this was easier. Like a bandaid."

"Well, you were right. I wouldn't have." Steel was creeping into Crowley's voice, steel around his heart. With a forcing of limbs, he spun around, his gaze piercing through the armor of his sunglasses. Facing him.

"I need your help" Aziraphale said.

"What," Crowley said. He had possibly never put as much meaning into a single word. The glass door turned into a Great Wall. Aziraphale understood. But he was willing to climb.

The angel (oh, a true angel now, wasn't he--not his angel) fumbled, talking with his hands before his mouth even opened. Talking with his eyes, too, but they got lost in translation. Repelled by a black mirror.

"I know this is untoward. I know it's-- But Crowley, I don't have a lot of time."

"Nothing lasts forever, yeah," Crowley spat, hating himself the second the words left his lips. Unnecessary cruelty. Demonic, huh? Worse yet, Aziraphale accepted the verbal lashing. Don't forgive me, Crowley thought.

Crowley looked at him. He was still wearing his suit, there was tartan in it, but it had become polished, the worn edges returned to pristine, boring perfection. He looked prim. Proper. Perhaps this hurt most of all.

"Why are you here?"

Aziraphale glanced upwards. Then he looked intently at Crowley. I don't have much time. Right. He couldn't speak freely, Crowley realized. Of course he couldn't. This was exactly what he had been afraid of, what he had known would happen. His angel in chains. (Yet here he was. Here he was.)

"They don't know I'm here," Aziraphale mumbled, gesticulating weakly between them and Up. "I guess I can divert their attention now, for a bit. Comes with the new powers"--he shrugged helplessly--"but not for long. Crowley, do you know about-- about the-- what they're--"

"Armageddon 2.0? Sure."

There was an undecipherable look in Aziraphale's eyes. "Why didn't you-- well. It's not just. I mean it kind of is--it's. More than that. Crowley, I need you to do something for me."

"No."

"This is important." (This isn't about us.)

"I don't care." (There is no us anymore.)

"You do! You always have."

"Oh not this again," Crowley hissed. "You were an angel once. You can be forgiven. Shut up."

"That's not what I meant."

With two long, angry strides, Crowley closed the space between them. Menace, anger, hurt-- "Then what did you mean?" He spat the words. Like a weapon. (Then why was it a question?)

Aziraphale's face crumbled. He stood his ground nonetheless, not backing away. The angel's anger was less spiky, but it rose to meet Crowley's. It made his next words hit like bricks. "I mean that you love. I mean that you, Crowley, are the best person I know. I mean that I love you."

The words dropped like a lead balloon.

There was utter silence between them.

Why were they so close?

Why were his sunglasses so dark? Aziraphale saw only his own reflection. He couldn't bear that, and dropped his gaze. Oh, worse. There was his mouth, mere inches away.

Aziraphale looked at Crowley's lips, really really looked, and there was nothing more, now that he knew about the feeling of Crowley's lips and of his heart, there was nothing more he wanted to do than to kiss him. But he couldn't, he couldn't. Not like this. He needed the next time (he had to believe in a next time, in a time with Crowley, again)--the next time they kissed he needed it to be good and happy and an affirmation. He couldn't bear it otherwise. He would break entirely. He was sure of it.

But still, still-- Crowley was so close. He could smell nothing but him. Think of nothing but him. That weakness again, that soft spot inside him he had never known how to hold down. And with it, Want reared its greedy head. Aziraphal leaned in ever so slightly, felt their noses touch-- and then used all his strength to move away, to pull back. It was not the right time. Not yet.

He looked past Crowley, who might have as well turned to a pillar of salt. Crowley, whose face was a mask he couldn't let slip. The air flickered between them.

There were tears in his eyes when he finally forced his gaze towards Crowley's face, a silent plead to not misunderstand. Please, please. But he couldn't expect that of him. He was pulling away again. But not because he wanted to. No, there was nothing he wanted more than to pull closer. There was nothing more he wanted than to talk to him, to truly talk, to explain and apologize and make amends, but he was bound by Duty and Rules and Watching Eyes more than he ever had been.

This was his rebellion: he lifted a hand, the ghost of a touch, fingertips against cheekbone. The memory of holding on. Of never wanting to let go. Crowley flinched without moving, a shiver of his lips. Aziraphale let his hand drop, briefly, to Crowley's chest, holding it over his human heart. It was beating just like his.

This was his successful magic trick, when it counted: he drew away, leaving a crack in Crowley's steel-clad heart, and a note in his chest pocket.

"I'm sorry. I need to go."

"Of course you do."

"Oh, Crowley. I--" But he did not finish the sentence, knew there was no proper way how. So he said, quietly, softly, "Trust me, please."

And he did. Crowley hated it, hated it so much, but he did, he did trust him despite it all. But it did not erase the hurt. The festering wound. Now what was he supposed to do with that?

With one last pointed look, Aziraphale vanished.

Crowley was alone.

His defenses lay shattered at his feet, and he slowly gathered them back up. He did not mend the cracks. (That's where the light had gotten in.) He cleared his throat. Tried to banish from his mind the look in Aziraphale's eyes, the memory of his lips and of his tears.

And failed considerably.

I love you.

(Touched his cheek, and then his chest, and faltered.)

[this fic is now also on ao3 and being continued there]

#good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #crowley x aziraphale #in which crowley and aziraphale meet for the first time after the Divorce #oh god ok i really love this???#i wrote it in one go and am posting unedited but #i need this ?!?!?#im also going through the whole 'i wanna know how this continues' vs 'you're the one writing it' idiocy #oh you wanna know how it ends?? then write it??? fool #but i dont know...how it continues....yet.#i do have ideas though...#inefficable #my writing

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anxioussailorsoldier · 1 year

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Tolkien: "...You are familiar with Thorin's style on important occasions, so I will not give you any more of it, thought he went on a good deal longer than this"

#literally his words #the hobbit #bilbo #thorin #bagginshield #lotr #ok but bilbo then immediately drops thorin's full name crossly in response #THORIN SON OF THRAIN SON OF THROR OAKENSHIELD IF YOU'RE SAYING IT'S MY JOB TO GO INTO THE SECRET PASSAGE FIRST THEN JUST SAY THAT #it's perfect #I rewatched all the movies and now i'm rereading the book and I love all the differences #this one in particular stood out like a sore thumb #thorin is actually a chatty cathy #there's pages on pages of just him monologuing at the start #gandalf tries to interrupt and thorin just straight up talks louder over the top of him #“getting him to shut up is the trick”#this is one of my original fandoms - I'll always love them #fun fact about me I have 22 different copies of the hobbit #love me a hobbit

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