#you're usually the person i talk to about my fics tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onlyseokmins · 1 year

Text

needy • j.w.w.

Pairing: jeon wonwoo x afab!reader

Genres: smut (minors dni!), established relationship!au

Warnings: swearing, teasing, dirty talk, unrealistic amt of orgasms heh, male masturbation, mentions of car sex, fingering (fem. receiving), phone sex but not like you think, messy oral (fem. receiving), safe sex 🫡, wonu's a bit of a perv tbh and reader loves puts up w/ it, mentions of children but not like really lmao, mentions of (cock)roaches, wonu in glasses and needy = double kill imho, ft. some of the boys being intrusive tbh haha, POSSESSION, and a good amt of noisy sex hahah lmk if i missed anything!

WC: 4.9k

A/N: well it's finally my first wonu fic :3 after hoarding so many in the drafts bc I always feel like I can't write him too well, I had to take the plunge since it's a dear request from my lovely @wonuhour ❤️ I really hope you enjoy this 🤞🏼 no taglist as this is a request so I hope y'all read this but sending some love to my fav wonwoorideul @wonwussy bc she said I could tag her mwah. I think I held my head 5 times while editing this haha...

It's late when you step out into the night's cool air, a sigh of relief at finally being freed from the corporate building where you work. Pulling out your phone from the bag slung across your shoulder, your face lights up just like the screen when you focus on two distinct notifications on it.

1 missed call — hubby ♡

1 new voicemail — hubby ♡

"Hey, baby. You're probably dealing with those idiots right now but by the time you're listening to this, you should be on your way back home to me."

Wonwoo's deep voice is always so soothing, filling your body with inexplicably warm, fuzzy feelings that trail from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. The knowledge that he pays attention to even the minute details you think he might not care about in trivial, daily conversations or complaints makes your heart flutter with joy.

Your husband has always had that effect on you. He's aware you aren't able to pick up and it's not like he expects you to do so. Wonwoo simply leaves a voice message, knowing it will provide you comfort on your walk to the car and subsequent drive home until you can seek real solace in his embrace.

And maybe — just maybe — he calls to simply hear your pretty voice that plays on the answering machine because he misses you during your long shift. The embarrassed giggle when you mess up and stumble across your words during the recording. Never bothering to go back to change or fix it because it makes the corners of Wonwoo's mouth perk up, breaking his usual stoic expression. At least according to what Mingyu's let slip.

Which is hilarious in and of itself because your husband is anything but poker face when in your presence. His friends tease, saying he's become a different man because of you — following you around and acting like a lovesick puppy rather than his normal, self-acclaimed dignified cat persona. But you deny it. He's always been the same person with you and maybe that's just because you're meant to be.

"Be safe on your way home. Remember to lock the doors when you're inside, although I know you will 'cause how many times have you accidentally locked me out when you've beat me back to the car first?" He lets out a strangely breathy laugh, one that you mimic in fondness at the past memory and simply of him, doing exactly as he says as you shut the driver seat's door. "Miss you so, so much today. Even more than usual, baby. 'specially that sweet pussy of yours."

Nothing — not even Mingyu's weird trait of being privy and somehow knowing or aware of way too much in your relationship — could have prepared you for those words. You're extremely grateful you're inside your car right now. Not fearing other people overhearing but because you would've collapsed right on the sidewalk in public. Victim to your husband's seductive desperation.

"Can't stop thinking 'bout it. How pretty it looks, how good you taste, how perfect you always feel wrapped around me."

Your head falls back against the headrest, the hand holding your phone drops onto your thigh, and your mouth and eyes widen together in awe. The wireless buds fit snugly inside your ears allow you to pick up on the underlying slick sounds as he speaks. Your mouth waters, a sweep of electrifying energy causing the hairs on your arms to raise.

Fuck. He's stroking that gorgeous thick cock of his. Because he yearns so much for you.

"'round my fingers, my dick, my tongue… so soft and wet and tight… mhm, oh god — what a messy little thing. And your lips too, wanna kiss you so bad. For hours, non-stop."

People like to make assumptions about your relationship. Things like how Wonwoo must be the calm and collected one, the domineering and composed person within your dynamics. It's annoying but you can't really blame them — it's human nature after all. While they aren't entirely wrong, it's not like they're right either.

On the occasions when your husband's lust for you outweighs his level-headedness, he loses all reason. Not above begging, whining, or babbling nonsense, his neediness becomes next level. You're so caught up in thinking about the exact man you're supposed to be listening to, you realize you've nearly missed most of the words he's spouting in his gravelly voice. You rewind the playback.

"… to stop thinkin' 'bout it or I'll want you even more. Wanna ruin you. Destroy you. Worship you. Ah… you're in your car, aren't you love? Please tell me you are, 'member when I slipped a finger inside last week on our way home from the mall? Then two. Then three. Had to make sure my pretty baby's pussy was stuffed nice and full. It's what you deserve, after all."

His lazy drawl and filthy words make your thighs clench. He knows it too. "Bet you're squeezing those luscious legs of yours together… ah, what I wouldn't give to have them around me instead…" A laugh again, almost a wheeze, like the air's being sucked out of his lungs at the thought. Many thoughts. "Made such a mess that day… hngh, almost wrecked the car over how wrecked you were, baby."

You glance at the empty passenger seat out of the corner of your eye. Almost shamefully, like a curious nun side-eyes a sinner sitting in church. Wonwoo's skillful and long, bony fingers buried inside your cunt — to no surprise — had you a writhing mess, an insane orgasm ripped from your body. You were afraid the upholstery was ruined because of it, the car still smelling like sex and preventing you from offering your sulky neighbor Seungcheol a lift this week.

"Bastard," you mutter affectionately and roll your eyes at your next statement, pretending as if he can hear you. "Like you weren't just as wrecked that I had to suck you off as soon as we parked and then rushed inside since you didn't wanna cum in my mouth."

"Ahhhhh, shoot…!"

As if he can hear your words, a particularly loud moan followed by a string of curses falls out of your husband's mouth. You are just able to hear the sped up sounds of him rutting more urgently against his palm. The visual of his large hands looking much smaller when wrapped around his huge cock floods your mind, wondering if he's tightened his grasp to better resemble it to drilling deep inside of your warmth instead of his hand. Eyebrows creasing together, biting down on his bottom lip before his mouth opens again in another moan that fills your ears at the right time.

The familiar creak of his home office chair causes a devious smirk to grace your face. He hasn't realized in his lust-driven state that he'd given away how desperate he really was to be fucking into his fist between freelance projects. More than likely frustrated when something wasn't encoding right after hours of staring at the screen but it was most probable that Wonwoo was simply down bad.

Achingly missing his partner when you weren't around to rub his shoulders, bring him some tea, lighten up the mood with a bad joke, or even try and help point out a possible error with a fresh set of eyes. Even nicer, sit on his lap all pretty to keep his cock all warm and coated in wetness or get on your knees beneath his desk and try to keep quiet while you take him down your throat.

You were always a bit on the noisy side. Even now, you can't help but let out a whimper at how uncomfortable your nipples feel poking against your bra. Dampening your panties, poor clit already puffy and throbbing unstimulated.

The Wonwoo in your imagination has his head thrown back, throat presented prettily that you wish you could actually mark up. In-tune with what he sounds like when he's about to come undone, you listen intently to your husband's stifled groans and harsh pants in anticipation. Holding your breath, hoping he's so lost in bliss that he won't leave you hanging.

Like a lifeline, a muttered "fuck, baby," as if he's really right there with you in the car as his deep moan fills your ears just like it does in-person. Imaginary Wonwoo drops his head back down and the hungry look in his dark brown eyes causes your hips to involuntarily twitch, thighs trembling. Shockingly, you don't orgasm from that alone but you sure as hell were on the brink of doing so.

For a finale, your husband stays on the line while he catches his breath and your dirty mind wanders once more. Hard not to when you hear the wet sounds of his hand still rubbing his cock. A whimper of "hm, just like that," and a hiss because he's sensitive makes your head spin, cunt clenching sadly around nothing. A sob practically leaves your chest at the absolute want to milk him dry just as he wishes at that moment.

"Miss you so much. Need to eat out my precious baby. Mhm, I just know that sopping cunt is begging for me to lick it up…"

The scratch of tissues being pulled out of their holder is enough of an attempt to tug you out of the foggy cloud of lust. You lick your lips.

"… so come and hurry home safely, love."

You do — so close to cumming untouched — but you stave off the feeling, speeding home somehow without crashing. For all your car has put up with, you're honestly surprised it hasn't given out on you in revenge. But that's neither here nor there at the moment, stumbling out of the vehicle once you arrive home and scrambling faster than a marathon-runner to get inside.

It would be a lie to say you weren't disappointed with how quiet and dark it is. Quietly setting your bag down, you stand with your back pressed against the front door. Almost expecting your husband to appear out of the shadows and pounce on you.

It's happened before. You can proudly declare with your whole chest that you've fucked on every surface of this lovely little house purchased in the third year of your marriage.

Instead, something brushes against your leg and you bend down to pick up your daughter. She hangs pliantly as you gently wiggle her and whisper, "Where's your daddy?"

The cat replies with a plaintive meow. You smile when she twitches her tail, stalking off towards the direction of the living room. Wonwoo likes to teasingly say she takes after you with a distinct cat-titude despite the fact that he naturally happens to be the more dedicated caretaker between the two of you. Mingyu was always needlessly curious which one of you another cat would take after — or worse, if you had actual children.

That wouldn't happen for quite a bit, trailing behind the true ruler of the household and watching as she climbs up onto her expensive cat-tree to sulk. Wonwoo must not have given her enough attention today. Demonstrated by the angry way she squints toward the open doorway of the study illuminated by the blue glow of your husband's computer.

"Daddy's in rare form today," you try and explain, rubbing in between her ears and she purrs in response. "Don't worry, Mommy will go and fix him so he ultra dotes on you like the little princess he thinks you are."

You make a kissy face in her direction because she is a precious royalty. Then you're approaching the study where deep grunts and muttered curses can be heard among a furious clacking of keyboard keys.

"On your left — no, Mingyu… your other left!"

Crossing your arms, you pout. You'd be lying if gamer Wonwoo wasn't unfairly attractive — jawline clenched as he barks out orders into his headset, the computer screen graphics reflecting off his glasses. A stark contrast to the ratty hoodie and old man slippers he's wearing, angrily slapping his feet on the ground when Seokmin accidentally pressed the wrong button and self-destructs.

You're glad he's blowing off some steam and stress with the boys. Though you had once asked why he didn't bother watching porn on his expensive and impressive set-up. Flattered when he admitted that having you as the real deal beat anything he could ever try to search for.

Now you're not as sure, though. He seems rather content and preoccupied after working you all up with that damn voicemail of his. With a flounce, you turn to head to the shower as your husband rages over Chan mistakenly shooting at the wrong team. Meeting a feline gaze on the way to the bathroom that shares your same sentiment of disdain.

Sticky, ruined panties cause a glare and another pout to adorn your face once the water is turned on to heat up. One Wonwoo might find cute. If he could see it. You nearly jump out of your skin when there's a knock on the door, so soft it almost sounds like a bump.

A certain kitty often bangs against doors just to startle her owners but she's also good at opening them too. When it remains shut and you hear a low call of your name rather than spooky silence, a pleading meow, or it flying open, you let out a breath of relief. Trying not to appear too eager, you crack the door open just enough to narrow one eye at your husband.

"Hi, baby."

"Hey."

Long gone is his cozy hoodie, though his black sweatpants remain on. Displaying lean, upper body muscles to ogle and pert nipples that could poke you in the eyeball with how near he is. Pushing up his glasses, he raises his eyebrows when you don't make an effort to move.

"You don't normally knock."

"I wasn't sure if it was you or our little mischief maker in here."

"Uh-huh, and who says I'm not mischievous as well?" You turn around but leave the door ajar and he takes that as an invitation to come in.

"No one's ever said you weren't," Wonwoo reassures but frowns, "no welcome home kiss?"

"You know, little miss mischief maker seemed pretty miffed, did daddy not pay enough attention to her today? That's unlike you."

"Mhm, was busier than I thought today. Had a lot on my mind… work and all that. Absolutely drowning in it."

"Is that so? She seems pretty upset so be sure you make it up to her."

It's like a cat-and-mouse game, though who's who is really the question. Maybe you're both cats in a stand-off. You know Wonwoo would never not truly attend to your beloved pet. You fight back a smirk, able to feel his heated gaze trail down your back and focus on your ass that you jut out on purpose to check the water temperature. A rush of fresh arousal surges through your system.

"Yeah?" Your husband's hand shoots out past yours to turn the shower off, ignoring your protest. "I think I upset another kitten too." Spinning you around so his damp thumb can pull at your bottom lip as you flutter your eyelashes at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not a cat. And I'm most certainly not upset."

He pecks at your lips almost condescendingly. "Sure, baby. You shouldn't be, you know, with the nice present I left for your pleasure after work."

You let out an elated sigh as he holds your face still and peppers kisses all over, trailing down to focus on your neck so you can speak. "If that's your idea of a nice gift, I'd hate to see what a bad one is."

"You didn't like it?" Somehow Wonwoo's eyes manage to sparkle when he looks up at you with a whine, pausing his kisses down the valley between your breasts. His other hand sneakily reaches in between your legs and he smiles against your skin. "Or did you like it too much? Don't think I've ever gotten you a bad gift, baby."

Slender fingers play with your messy wetness, sliding back and forth languidly without rush. You struggle to clear your mind to ask with sarcasm, "Wh-what about that st-stupid cockroach plushie?"

"It was cute. Just like you."

"That's it, I'm getting a shower."

"I don't think so." Wonwoo's free hand flies to splay out on your back, preventing you from moving and pressing your body even closer to his.

You purse your lips, brown eyes locking in on them immediately. "You think I'm on the same level as cockroaches."

"Only like the super cute, not-real ones."

"…We're filing for divorce right after I clean up."

"Mhm, but I'm not done with you yet so it'd be a waste of water. Besides, you hate showering together."

You can't help but grind down against his stationary palm, wishing he'd just slip a finger inside. "Because… no one's getting clean… if you're in there with me."

"Exactly," he's entranced by how much of your arousal continues to coat his hand. Cock twitching with the ache to be where his fingers are instead. "You know the drill, baby. Besides, I'm aware of how much you like it when I'm wearing my glasses."

"Wonwoo…"

He hushes your moan with a smirk and another kiss to your irresistible lips. "Yeah, lovely. It's okay, I'll give you what you want. And what I want too."

Surely, you would've bashed your head open on the tile floors had it not been for the support of the countertop you'd braced your palm on. Legs as shaky as a newborn fawn with how long you've been buzzing with desire. Especially when your husband backs away to withdraw his hand, ravenously slurping up your essence with a blissed out face. An appreciative, low grunt as he licked his fingers clean, dark gaze not straying away from your naked body before him.

"Shouldn't have done the laundry, silly baby. How else am I supposed to control myself without any sort of relief to get me through the day?"

Your jaw drops. "Pervert!"

"Know you like it." He ignores the light slap to his shoulder that bears no malice, finding zero resistance when he tugs you by the hand to drag you into the bedroom. "You love when I'm this desperate for you. Can't get anything done, can't think of anything else… all you, you, and you. And this greedy pussy."

Your back's resting on the mattress before you can blink. Wonwoo sits and parts your legs, taking in the delectable sight of your puffy cunt that spreads open to seep more arousal. Asking to be taken care of and filled.

"Just look at it, how could I not desire it every moment of the day?" A kiss is pressed against your left ankle. "When it's just as perfect as you?" Another to the side of your knee cap. "And so fuckin' addictive." He switches to the right to suck the skin on your thigh. "Absoluting begging to be filled up so prettily whenever I want."

It's a mix between a scream and groan of frustration that leaves your throat when your husband lightly smooches right above your hip crease before licking the salt off your skin. He's so close to where you want him and he grins at your patient façade slowly slipping. His tongue pokes out, just grazing the left side of your pussy.

"Wonwoo…!"

He is rarely this talkative, either he truly missed you or this is a new form of torture.

A pointer finger taps your pubic bone and drags downward, lifting away before it hits your clit. "And all mine," he growls out before devouring your cunt like you want.

Your husband eats you out like a starved man. Ravenous in all the best ways. Your hips can't help but jerk in time with the movements of his tongue lapping at your inner walls and cleaning up the gracious amounts of slick you've created. Whines leaving your mouth at how good it feels, fingers anxiously threading through his curls and making them even messier. Your legs wrap around his neck as you somehow bring his head even closer to drown inside your scent, your taste, and your wet heat.

Wonwoo revels in it.

Normally, he would have more control. More strictness, more fortitude. But he's so far gone, appreciative growls that could rival the best-selling vibrator on the market shake you to your very core. The frames of his glasses dig into your thighs but you don't even feel them with the intense amount of pleasure from Wonwoo's thumb playing with your clit. His nose occasionally adds to the mind-dumbing feeling by nuzzling against it when he shakes his head with vigor.

You have no choice but to hurdle towards a fast orgasm like a dam breaking. Unintentionally locking his neck in a position that might've snapped it if his face wasn't pressed so close and into your spasming hole. Screaming his name as you tear at hair strands a bit too viciously. Wonwoo takes it all in stride, too obsessed with prolonging that delightful peak of yours to care.

Only when your legs loosen up does he back away, pride filling his chest as he takes in your shaking form. Pushing up foggy lenses, he licks his lips slowly. The damp spot shining on his chin and nose is enough of a damning visual — one that's real and touchable, not of your imagination this time — for a tiny tremor to run through your thighs again.

Wonwoo's sore jaw drops. "Baby, did you… did you just cum again?" The cool air away from your cunt clears his vision so he can marvel at the soiled wet patch on your shared blankets. A mumbled curse leaves his mouth.

You're a vision. Strewn across the bed, skin shining with sweat while your disheveled husband is the epitome of sex. He cracks his neck, stretching his jaw.

Thinking.

Contemplating.

"Just from that? Hah, what am I going to do with you?"

"Fuck me," you moan and bring your legs that feel like Jello up to your chest. Squeezing your breasts between your thighs, you pout at him and flutter your lashes. A perfect look for a vixen, pleading yet sultry. "Please."

"Shit… can't tell if you're being bad or good. Augh, the things you do to me."

"'m good, s'good for you. Want you s'bad."

Blabbering, you watch through bleary eyes at the rapid speed he tears off his sweatpants and manage to spread your legs even farther with how numb they feel when he climbs over top of you. Lenses flash in the light at the same time as a foil wrapper before he rips it, hissing in sensitivity to slide the condom on. You're thrilled when the heavy tip of his cock slaps against your prepped pussy, ready for him to lose all rationale. You're sorely disappointed to find out your husband has a pending question for you.

"Then why didn't you greet me when you came home? Hm? Pretty baby sulking in the bathroom 'cause I was gaming with the boys?"

"Ahhh…" you shake your head urgently, nails lightly scratching his biceps, and hips lifting off the bed in a sly effort to slip his dick inside. "No…"

Wonwoo clicks his tongue, halting your movements. "No? I need complete answers, love."

You need him to lose control. Fighting back a sob, you try to shake off your fucked-out state and reply to him properly. "Wanted to shower 'nd then come in no panties, sit… on your lap."

"Yeah? Pretty baby was gonna keep me nice and warm in that snug pussy? Like we always do?"

"Mhm," tears are streaming down your cheeks at this point, "maybe… maybe suck you off."

"Oh, wanted to choke on my cock so all those losers could hear those greedy gags of yours?"

All you can do is nod deliriously because his thick length is hot and hard. Laying outside your lower stomach exactly like it would if it was buried within you.

Wonwoo snarls. "I think the fuck not. Absolutely not. Only I'm allowed to hear your pretty noises. Only me." He huffs, easing the tip inside finally, grunting at how you're already clamping around him like a vice. "You're made for me. All mine. No one else."

The last three syllables are punctuated by experimental, shallow thrusts to open you up for him. Your tongues tangle together as he continues to rock his hips forward, splitting you open until your pelvises kiss.

"That's it, baby. That's the sweet cunt I've been waiting for all day, dreaming of. There it is, shit! Whose pussy does this belong to?"

"Yours… hgnh, all yours… yours, yours yours…!"

"That's right, that's fuckin' right."

His glasses slide down the bridge of his nose but are pushed up by your own nose when you pull him by the neck to shut him up. Barely kissing anymore, it's an open-mouthed entanglement of debauchery. Neither of your moans get any quieter, especially when he rasps in your ear to make as much noise as possible because no one's around to listen.

Wonwoo's thrusts are sharp when he does pull out a little bit. But he doesn't want to leave your warmth for even one moment, mainly grinding as deep as he can into your fluttering hole and stimulating your clit. His hands tug at your nipples, alternating between squishing and squeezing at your tender breasts. Your legs splay compliantly out at the side, letting your husband use you to his content because that's what both of your goals tonight were.

You're shamelessly screaming when his tip touches that bundle of nerves and you're afraid you might actually black out when he continues to hit it with scary precision.

"Gonna… be the death… of me."

Peering at you over his glasses, he smirks at your weak complaint. "Says the one… that's gonna snap off my dick… shit, lovey, stop tightening up so much!"

"Can't help it, feels so good."

"I know, baby," he pants out and kisses your cheek, "I know so just bare with me a bit more." Relief floods him momentarily when your gummy walls loosen their iron grip around his cock. "That's it."

Pulling out of your squelching pussy before you can clamp around him again with only the head wrapped around so prettily by your puffy lips, he has to pause to admire it. Then he slams inside so deep that you can't help but hit that intense climax while he's still stuffing the rest of his length back in.

He coos in his low voice, coaxing you through it with an almost cruel swivel of his hips. "You can give me one more, right? I know you can, you're so good for me."

You really don't know if you could but the minute you lock eyes with him, the feral need and want in them that takes your breath away is enough. It's tinier than all the ones prior but it pleases a fucked out Wonwoo. In seconds, he's spilling his seed into the condom, still nestled within your spasming walls.

"There it is, cream on my cock, love. Yeah, there we go… fuck, baby..." he pants, a telltale sign, "that's it... so perfect."

To say you're exhausted would be an understatement. You might've actually passed out because when you come to, your husband has already wiped you down and pulled the blankets over your naked body. You weren't cold at all before but now that the tidal wave of lust has ebbed away, a chill is settling in. Your cat has snuck into the bedroom too, curled up and purring at the end of the bed on top of the stuffed cockroach plushie.

"Wonwoo?"

"Right here, love." He's laying on top of the covers and wearing his sweats again. His glasses are on the nightstand, head propped up on one hand to stare affectionately at you. "Feel okay?"

"Yeah but I'm glad I'm off for the rest of the week. You fucked the life out of me."

A smug grin graces his face. "Yeah I know. Which is why I don't understand why you just didn't wait to do laundry tomorrow or something."

"Not this again. How old are you?"

"Old enough to know what will prevent me from blowing out your back all the time." He's ready to continue with a good defense but pauses at the smile you're trying to hide. "Wait… did you do that on purpose?" When you don't reply, he groans your name. "You did, didn't you?"

"We all have our little tricks," a finger traces down his exposed pecs, "although I didn't expect such a needy voicemail on my way home, it turned out just as planned."

He halts your wrist when you start journeying down his abs. "Not in front of the child, please."

"I'm too tired to do anything scandalous," you laugh and flip your aching body over to the other side. "Wake me up in a half hour so I can shower. Alone."

"I can't believe I was set up." Disbelief drips from his tone as he sets a timer on his phone but he reaches over you to turn off the light, pressing a kiss to your ear. "Well-played though. You have a lot of free time to make up for your misbehavior, don't you baby?"

"Mhm-hm."

Wonwoo can't see the second victorious smile hidden in the darkness. Really. You're just too smart, knowing your husband so well to get what you want.

Mingyu would be proud. And grossed out.

onlyseokmins: February 2023 ©

#ez.creates #svt smut #seventeen smut #kpop smut #Smut #jeon wonwoo smut #wonwoo smut #Svthub #luana 🌙#ez.mootz #I misspelled my url in the header at first it was so funny 💀 onlyseokins #1k 🌟#svt.smut

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weebsinstash · 11 months

Note

Alright bestie I’m on that shit again

So yandere Superman, right? Like obviously your fucked. The only other yandere in existence that might just be able to keep you from him is Batman, but even then he’d probably sooner work together just to ensure your safety- but that’s a prompt for another day.

Back to yan Superman, imagine you’re his darling and he is “keeping you safe”. But one day, you get snatched up by some organization that wants to use you as leverage or some shit, but you are just sobbing in relief at maybe being free- only to have Superman show up and do some not so super things to everyone who “stole” you

There are just so many casually horrifying things about Superman that people don't realize until you start like digging into his lore. "Oh he's super strong and a super fast flyer" actually he can do basically anything at those super speeds to the point he can literally even PROCESS THOUGHTS at near light-speed which means he has Absolutely Terrifying reaction times and can make plans and schemes on a dime, which, you know, can be even better utilized by him being intelligent. He has natural invulnerability so if you throw a punch at him too hard you could literally shatter the bones in your hand and he can't even control that, like you could literally hurt yourself with him on accident! He can see across INSANE DISTANCES and his x-ray vision doesn't have like a set range so he could do anything from, peep inside buildings to spy on you, to looking under your clothing for any bruises or injuries or even self harm marks, to peeking behind your hero disguise to learn your true identity, to seeing if there's anything inside your stomach and seeing if you're eating properly. Like jesus christ he literally found out Lois was pregnant from waking up one morning and suddenly hearing the heartbeat of the FETUS, there's literally nothing from him pulling that stereotypical "I know you're nervous or lying or afraid because I can literally hear your heartbeat increase" scary bullshit

And let's talk about Lois for a sec because my god her death was literally what kicked off the Injustice timeline? And there are other forms of Superman media where she just straight up dies naturally of cancer! Sure we could take the easy way and say "in this au Lois never existed or was just Clark's friend and he loved YOU" (which is my preferred default tbh bc, no competition for Reader lol) but I mean if you're going for that angst, that real whump, a yandere Clark Kent that just lost his wife/unborn child to either the Injustice incident or cancer, now overcome with grief? And in those cancer timelines they usually already have a son, Jonathan, and sometimes Jordan, and here's Clark thinking, well, his boy needs a mother, and he's got these weird feelings for you, and lil Jonny clearly has affection for you, maybe bring a bit of a platonic yan himself who sees you as either a big sister or even a secondary mom, so... be his wife maybe?

Like my god if Reader somehow helped him through the grief of losing Lois and managed to avoid "fully activating" Superman's anime villain arc, like he's going full fascist in the Injustice 2 Bad Ending, then some shit DEFINITELY goes down when Reader gets taken away. It just reactivates all his trauma. No! He can't lose anyone else! Jonathan can't lose anyone else! You're not just someone he loves, you're his FRIEND!

You're just huddled in whatever cell you've been kept in with your black eyes and bruises and knuckles bloodied from trying to fight back when you hear Clark's voice and you look up with excitement that just falls immediately off your face because holy shit did he just unlock that thumbprint scanner with a severed arm, and suddenly you're realizing there are other shades of red on his costume and dripping from his fingers

I can only imagine like, ngl I considered a sequel to my fic Doubt where Reader escapes the manor and runs into Supernan as the only other person who can protect you, so here we would have the inverse: you're the only one who knows about Clark's increasing instability and, while you still have your own freedom and autonomy, try to speak to Bruce about it, and now you have Batman Vs Superman: Competing For Your Heart Edition. I can only imagine what sort of unhinged reactions there would be if you think you've got Batman alone and you're beginning to cry all "Bruce I'm really worried about Clark, he isn't acting like himself, there's something wrong with him" and. Clark is like literally using his x-ray vision to read lips through the walls if he can't use his super hearing to outright eavesdrop.

Of course as you suggested, I'm always a slut for ideas with"oh shit I ran to this guy to help me and he's ALSO crazy, now they're teaming up and I'm in some weird shared/poly situation with TWO nutjobs". Lmao you go to Bruce concerned about Kal and Bruce goes to confront him and Clark just drops "did you know Y/N has been hiding self harm cuts under their hero suit also wow they smoke HELLA weed and im worried about their lungs and all the stuff they do when they're alone that no one else knows about 🥺" and suddenly here's Bruce " thanks i hate this actually :)" and there's a scheme concted to spy on you or move you elsewhere.

I've even thought of "Reader oh nooOoooOo, that, giant monster or villain attack or whatever also coincidentally destroyed your shitty little apartment complex? You mean Clark 'accidently' got sent flying into your building or smacked some giant creature into it and now you don't have a place to live? And you're broke too? Oh no 🥺 Well, BATMAN has this nice big house with lots of room in for you to stay toooootally 'temporarily', we PROMISE uwu"

Batman is the one who can put a tracking chip injected into your skin or even disguised as a filling in one of your teeth, and Superman is the one who can zoom off to rescue you/retrieve you "faster than a speeding bullet". I think one of the only people who could bring them down together at that point would be like. Fucking DARKSEID and, Jesus no, you definitely don't want HIM treating you as a pet 😭 the evil Batman that was brainwashed by him in the Apokolips War movie was scary enough (and scary HOT, lmao, let him keep me as some sort of prize and the only luxury Darkseid will allow him as a reward for his obedience. Lord Batman goes from having a meeting talking about like enslaving people to returning to his quarters and railing tf outta you because he's still holding onto some slim vestiges of humanity where he cares about you but also using you as his personal anti stress fuck toy)

#yandere superman #yandere batman #yandere dc #i got a draft whee damian and jon like you and introduce you to their fathers #and suddenly stalking you becomes a family affair #the boys walk you home and jon lies about having to pee so damian can plant bugs while youre distracted #the boys going back to their fathers and telling them all of your personal business #'yeah dad when she was at work i used my xray vision and saw her creepy manager grope her in the walk in'#suddenly your small little privately owned cafe was just bought out by wayne enterprises and your boss is fired or goes missing #maybe Bruce gets you a job st Wayne tech bc hes been following you as batman and he doesnt like you working third ahift #lmao heres hoping i actually finish it wven though im not quite sure where to go w it yet #but like its literally over 8 pages at least so. obviously some sort of creative juices are flowing #yandere stuff #sinprompts #at this point i cant promise shit bc my emotions and motivation are waaaaaacky

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yayakoishii · 6 months

Text

Lucky | Sanji x Chubby!Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x Chubby! Reader

Could be considered a part 2 to Want but can be read (and is written as a) stand-alone!

Word Count: 1.8k

Genre: Angst, Fluff??

Warnings: Insecurity about stretch marks, mentions of/implications of (but not explicit) sex so Read At Your Own Discretion, low self esteem, etc.

A/n: I'm not the type of person to write about things that are personal to me, tbh, but this idea played around in my head. I know you can have stretch marks from a variety of reasons but I wrote my own, and I would just like to remind everyone that they're normal. You're absolutely gorgeous as you are, my lovelies. I hope you enjoy this little fic ♡

also available on ao3!

Sanji felt like the luckiest man in the entire universe.

When Sanji and you had finally got together, he couldn't believe it. It felt unreal to have you reciprocate his feelings, to have you look at him shyly but with warm eyes that made him feel seen and heard– and he was ready to swear over his life to you, holding back only so as to not freak you out. Unlike his usual grand confessions, you were more important to him, a person he could not even take the risk of driving away. If you found him clingy, or obsessive, and he lost you… somehow, even the thought of that made him feel like someone was stabbing at his heart with a fork, over and over.

And he was ready to take this relationship at your pace. Whatever you were ready to offer him, he would gladly take it. Even if you wanted to wait to have sex until you were married, he would gladly do it simply because he was already head over heels in love with you. It scared him a little, when he was by himself in the confines of dark nights, just how much he was ready to sacrifice for a shred of your pure heart. To have you around him as long as the world would let him… The fact that you never hesitated to showcase your love, though you were shy in public, made his heart soar. He never had to wait for anything – except maybe sex.

The problem though, seemed to be something else.

It's not like you didn't want it. Clearly, going by the number of times the two of you had engaged in heavy make out sessions that seemed to lead towards it eventually, you were as affected by him as he was by you. But everytime that happened, your eyes would suddenly lose their drunken haze and shift back into a sort of nervousness and sadness that made Sanji feel helpless. You would stop after that, drawing back into your shell, wrapping your arms around your body and blocking him out.

He took it easy. Sanji didn't want to push you into talking until you were ready, and he certainly didn't want you to feel that a relationship without sex wasn't on the table. So he waited, giving you time to talk about it yourself; it was no good. If anything, you got quieter over time, hesitating even more around him.

It drove him crazy, and he would have questioned if you truly did like him if it wasn't for the fact that you maintained all other aspects of physical intimacy. There was no hesitation when it came to giving him hugs or kisses or affirmations of how in love you were with him, whenever he felt vulnerable and insecure. And that was what made him wonder; were you struggling with your own insecurities of some sort?

It didn't make sense to him that someone as perfect as you should find anything to fault in yourself, but after all, his lens of love was not to be compared with the harsh critics that were your own eyes and mind. He knew you were hesitant of your own body, its curves and how it was different from the slender figures of the other ladies on board and on land.

In Sanji's eyes, you were perfect as you were– soft and warm in all the right places, with a kind and caring personality. There was nothing about you that he didn't love and nothing that he found ugly, yet he didn't quite know how to make you believe him.

It wasn't even that you hated your body. He had seen you have confidence at times, but he had also seen it waver when it came to rude comments or just general low moods. You had your moments of low self-esteem but even in those moments, Sanji found himself a slave of your beauty. No, a devotee would be a better word. He wanted to worship you and your body as you deserved and yet, all his plans were thwarted every time you stopped in the middle of an escalating make out session to give him a small smile and come up with some random excuse to leave.

You were all that he wanted, and he was determined to let you know just what you looked like through his eyes. Sanji's chance came sooner than he had thought, the very night of when he made the resolution.

You lingered around in the kitchen after dinner, humming a song shyly after Sanji had insisted. When he was done with the dishes, you had helped him put them back despite his protests.

"Join me, my love?" He had asked as the two of you stepped out of the kitchen. He had to lock it and he waited for your answer as he did so. You were silent for a while before you spoke up.

"Oh, Sanji, um," you hesitated, clearly overthinking and worried that if you declined then it would be in bad taste but clearly also hesitant of what he was hoping for. "I, I actually…"

"Nothing that you don't want will happen, sweetheart," Sanji said quietly, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. "I just want to spend some time with you."

"Oh!" You suddenly looked relieved and Sanji's heart clenched. Were you really afraid that he would force you to do something you weren't comfortable with? "Sure Sanji, I would love that too."

He held your hand in his as you walked to his room. Only once you were inside and he had closed the door behind him, did he speak.

"Sweetheart," he called out when you had settled comfortably on his bed. You looked up at him curiously. "Is it okay if I ask you something?"

You were quiet for a second, not unlike how you got when the sexual tension between you would get high. You clearly knew what he was getting to. Sanji waited until you nodded to move in closer to sit across from you.

"I just want to put this on the table before I ask," Sanji searched your eyes for something. "This relationship will always go at your pace. I do not mind waiting as long as you need me to, or even forever, if that is what you want. But what I want is for you to be comfortable and open with me. To tell me if something is bothering you. To be vulnerable with me, because you trust me. Is that alright, my love?"

"Of course, Sanji," you inched closer to him, a hand reaching out to take his. He let you, and brushed his knuckles against the inside of your wrist, watching you squirm at how it tickled.

"Do you not want to have sex with me, sweetheart?" He asked clearly. You flinched at that, and he could see the torment you were facing bubble up to the surface. "It's alright, love. Just tell me what you really think. I understand if I'm not appealing in th–"

"No!" You interrupted, looking at him with a pout. "It's not that. God, Sanji, you drive me insane all the time. I would have to be blind to not appreciate your figure."

"Then is it something else?" He asked seriously, hand now coming up to cup your cheek. You leaned into his touch, giving him a sad smile.

"Of course I want to… do it with you," you flushed, embarrassed at having to say that aloud. "I want it but… I don't want you to see me."

"You don't want me… to see you?" Sanji repeated, unsure of what you meant. Your hand came up to hold his where it rested on your cheek.

"I… have stretch marks," you looked embarrassed. "Maybe it's stupid to you– it probably is, but I know it's not what is considered appealing. I know I'm… not as slender as you might prefer, and I'm just… scared that you would look at me and feel disgusted. Feel like you made a mistake and break us off. I know!" You stressed it when Sanji looked like he was about to say something, "I know that you're kinder than that. But I don't want to lose you. I don't want to see you looking at me with disgust. I don't care about my stretch marks but when I think of you seeing them… I feel like I would rather die."

"Shh," Sanji shook his head, upset at your words. "What are you saying, my love? As if something like that is enough to shake my love for you. I can't even begin to tell you where my love for you begins or where it ends, because it's fathomless and so much that it scares even me. Any marks on your body are a part of you. I'm sure even they are as beautiful as the rest of you."

"Really?" Your voice was meek, wanting reassurance but also not wanting to be burdensome.

"Let me show it to you," he whispered, gently lowering you onto your back. The action made your shirt ride up a little, revealing the white and red marks. You squirmed and raised your head to see what Sanji planned to do.

A gasp left your lips when he placed a soft peck on one, marking the path to the next without lifting his lips. The action tickled you and a warmth pooled into your gut, along with the understanding that Sanji would never be disgusted by you or your marks. He would love every inch of you.

"They are like lightning," he whispered into your skin, warm breath fanning the cool surface, causing you to shiver. "Like pathways mapping the surface of the temple of the goddess I worship. Like waves crashing into the ocean, for me to appreciate, along with every part of you. I could never hate them, or you, sweetheart. Every part of you is meant to be worshipped, to be sung prai–"

"Alright," you choked, feeling overwhelmed. He kissed you in between as he spoke, careful never to move downwards or to make the act sexual. Every part of it felt like he was whispering and etching reminders of his love into your skin, like carefully tucked in notes in the folds of your flesh. "Sanji. Sanji, come up here."

He hovered above you for a few seconds, blue eyes misty with want before he gently lowered himself next to you on his bed. You swallowed the thick lump in your throat as you cupped his cheeks and took in every inch of his face, took in the blonde hair falling into his eye– and couldn't help but think.

"Heavens, I love you more and more each day, Sanji."

Think that contrary to what he believed, the lucky one was actually you.

#one piece #one piece imagines #one piece fanfic #one piece x reader #one piece sanji #op sanji #vinsmoke sanji #vinsmoke sanji x reader #sanji x reader #black leg sanji #sanji fanfiction #sanji fic #angst and fluff #insecurities #insecure reader #chubby reader #stretch marks #you're all gorgeous my loves <3

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prettyboypistol · 1 year

Note

Okay okay- that scout fic got my brain thinking.

How would each of the mercs react to being dommed and being called good boy??

BC LIKE YOUR WRITING IS SO GOOD I LOVE IT

MINORS DNI 18+

Mercs Getting Called a Good Boy! (xGN Reader)

Pyro referred to with all pronouns, but AMAB

Scout

You pull Jeremy close as you ball up his shirt. He can feel your hot breath tickle the hairs on his neck.

"C'mon Jeremy, be a good boy for me?"

Nearly cums on the spot

blushyyyyy blush blush blushhhh

If you're not railing him, you will be soon. that's one of his secret insta horny buttons.

Even if he's fucking you, if you call him a good boy he will melt

Tie him up, smack his ass, kiss him, tease him, fuck him til he's dizzy. He doesn't care as long as he's your good boy.

If it's sprung on him it hits his ego a little and makes him feel a little emasculated, so he begs that you don't say it around the others.

Engineer

He's usually gotten shit for being the shortest of all the mercs, so it takes him a moment to really understand what you meant by calling him a good boy.

Like don't get him wrong, it's not like he's insecure, but a guy can only take so much before he develops a complex.

He's not really a fan of it tbh, but he doesn't mind letting you top

Dell would call you a good boy/girl/lil' thing easily, pulling his southern drawl in to really mess you up

Yeah he's more of a trad masc dude, not that he cares about nontraditional men's choices, it's just his preference

Spy

Very confused, but immediately gives you sass about it.

"I'm already letting you have the ropes, you're just gloating now"

He's into it only in specific circumstances, like when he's fully a bottom.

His control complex is hard to get through, but as soon as you do, god it's adorable how much he craves it.

He will never tell you up front, but there are microexpressions that you might pick up on to tell you if he's in the mood for it.

One of those "figure me out" types, and will never tell you what he wants unless he's taking it.

Heavy

Feels??? Weird??? but also warm inside, like when you usually call him pet names

It makes him feel small, but not in a bad way.

He's never been dommed or topped before, so it's all kinda exciting

He'd prefer some other version of "good boy", like "my baby" or "honeybear"

Would kiss you and want kisses so so much

Heavy knows you're trying to get hi in the mood and mindset of being a sub, he's not an idiot, so he rolls with it.

Overall he's neutral on it, not ecstatic but doesn't hate it.

Demoman

Surprisingly very into it

Like, you're taken off guard at the babblemouth he becomes after "Good boy" slipped from you.

He usually dirty talked during sex, but you didn't realize that he's like that when he's the bottom!

"C'monnn, give your good boy what he deserves!" whiny ass baby

After the fact, cuddles you close and rambles on about how he's always been into it, but nobody's been bold enough to call him that

Tavish loves all versions of good boy, ex "attaboy", "prettyboy" "babyboy" etc.

Pyro

Loves it so fucking much, through the muffled squeaks and nods of approval, you decide to go with it at the enthusiastic response

Pyro was always into affection during sex, from gentle touches on their body to touching you- maybe he's making sure that you're real?

Since the mask coming off was a hard no, every time you called her a good boy you heard a happy moany-wheeze of breath of enjoyment.

As much as Pyro is infantilized, I prefer a more realistic depiction of schizophrenia/psychosis. As fun as Pyroland is all sunshine and rainbows, delusions really hurt the psyche.

When you two are done fucking, they seem at peace. It's hard to feel like a good person when you're that disillusioned with reality

Medic

Now this man gets all giggly like you might expect Pyro to be.

Super eager to please you

Loves getting your hands tugging your hair as you pull his head back when you're behind him/on top of him. Bite his neck and call him your good boy.

It'll bleed into when he's experimenting too, if he gets too spooky while you're on the operating table just hit him with "Aww, be my good boy?"

If Medic's topping, he somehow rails you harder

Aftercare king if you praise him sweetly

100% gets jealous if you call Archimedes a good boy.

Sniper

Not a fan at first, but it grows on him

After long days he just crawls into your arms and sighs, he puts your hands into his hair and groans

"My good boy" "yeah.."

He doesn't mind subbing/bottoming, but you get the best results when he's tired and exhausted.

As he's breathing deep, tired, and in the moment, you just kiss his brow and say it.

He snuggles into you tightly, nearly stopping sex to just hold you

Smack his ass and call him good boy at random please

Soldier

Surprisingly receptive, but in an unorthodox way.

"Good boy Solly-" "I'm a good MAN!"

well, that works too.

It works as more ammo when you're topping

"That's it honey, what a man. Good boy, Jane~"

Since Soldier is one of your more crazy lovers, you like how he puts his own spin on everything. it's a breath of fresh air.

He'll call you a good boy, but it'll drabble into telling you that you're patriotic during sex

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autisticlancemcclain · 7 months

Text

fic rec friday 43

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

These Walls Have Ears by notverystraight

Before Lance’s friends arrive at his apartment for their weekly movie night, Keith is in Hunk’s car on the phone to Lance, trying to explain why they’re late, again. Mid conversation, Keith drops his phone under the seat. Assuming Lance has hung up, Pidge and Hunk start pestering Keith about certain feelings that he may be harboring, leading to some quite personal confessions. Little do they know, Lance has not hung up, and is listening in on every word. Shenanigans ensue.

the second best part of this fic is how sweet and funny this is. this fic is blushy and silly and dorky and so so so!!! it is just fun and garrison trio my love. the BEST part of this fic is lance knowing hes hot shit

2. That Won't Last, He's Gay and She's An Alien by notverystraight

Lance didn’t know what he’d expected to see when he came onto the Garrison’s training deck, but it definitely wasn’t this. Keith was panting with exertion, pinning someone to the ground with the edge of his training sword just brushing their neck. And by someone, Lance meant Acxa, one of Lotor’s old half-Galra generals. Or, Lance walks in on Keith and Acxa sparring. He has not-so-mixed feelings about it.

usually every jealousy trope fic i read induces the PHATTEST eye roll literally of all time but this one made me laugh lol. its just such a ridiculous concept and its fun basically. also krolia lowkey being a thot is hilarious

3. Go the Distance by orphan_account [EXPLICIT]

Keith is a sprinter, Lance runs long distance. Despite not competing against each other directly and despite the fact that they're training to bring glory to the same high school track team, the two end up becoming rivals who are wholeheartedly committed to victory. Along the way, however, they find themselves awfully sidetracked by the other's inspiring legs--er, skills. Much fluff and smut and no angst.

bro lance is SUCH a goober 😭😭 he gets himself into the most embarrassing situations and there is truly no one he can blame but himself. honestly this one is such a fun read and if the explicit warning bothers you, it's not the whole fic! you can easily skip it. the rivalry and getting together is just as fun and stupid as you'd expect from them truly

4. Haunted House Hang-Up by Creatortan

Keith runs a paranormal investigation YouTube channel with his friend, Pidge. Pidge is friends with Hunk, who is friends with Lance, who is very, very haunted. And also, very, very pretty.

oh my LORD i love this. nd team? check. supernatural fuckery? check. cute flowery lance? check. dorky suave keith? check. side of hot firefighter shiro? check. just an 11/10 in general top notch

5. Rambling by Creatortan

Lance was a talkative person, and he thought he had accepted that.

no seriously bc the Can't Shut Up Syndrome is the Worst side effect of adhd and other nd's tbh. i hate the way you're excited and you can feel yourself start to build and trip over your words but it doesn't matter bc it's so background! there's so much cool shit ur sharing!! and then you see the eyeroll or the shrug and it just comes crashing back on you so so quickly and hard and. god. this fic captured that so well

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#idk what the deal is lately but very few authors have been on tumblr #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #rivals klance #adhd lance #lance is hot #pining keith #pining lance #pining klance #rivals to lovers #fic rec #fic rec friday #frf #longpost

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olderthannetfic · 9 months

Note

I’d like to appeal to the advice of your followers with a question concerning the degree of realism of sex in smutty fanfic. Two questions really. I know fanfic is not reality- but if (almost) all authors describe certain things in a specific way, I start to wonder if I missed something. And since I write a bit myself, I’d like to get things right.

The first is about bruising. A tight grip on arms or hips is apparently enough to cause bruises. I have participated in enthusiastic and even rough sex and never, ever got bruised. So I decided to test it out with my husband and asked him to try and bruise my arm by gripping it. Even a very tight grip caused no bruises. I only got (mildly) bruised after asking him to apply full force, which took him some effort and was seriously painful. It really hurt and not in the sexy way. Now maybe I bruise less easy than most but encounters with table corners etcetera say otherwise. So am I missing something here, or did smut writers collectively decide that bruising is sexy and therefore bruises are easily caused by a tight grip?

The other thing is about soreness. In all or most fics, not only fanfic but also conventional straight romance novels, passionate sex means the receiving party will be sore enough to be limping the day after or even have trouble sitting down. In my personal experience, very rough, slam-in-as-hard-as-you-can fucking both vaginal and anal does not result in any observable soreness afterwards while walking or sitting. The insides may get chafed, yes, rubbed raw even, depending on the use of lube, and that will be supremely noticeable during consequent bathroom visits or the next fuck session if it follows soon after the first, but that’s it. The only soreness I ever had was muscle soreness in my thighs or other limbs if the position took some physical effort to maintain. But internal soreness, never. So again, did writers collectively decide soreness is sexy, or what’s happening?

I'm pretty sure they're both just Law of Horny.

Yes, probably some people do bruise more easily than you, but the way this is described in fic is as though those hands had finger paint on them. We're talking full on hand prints after a few minutes of slightly hard gripping. Nobody bruises like that unless they have a medical problem where they should be a lot more careful during sex. Haha.

TBH, the kinds of characters who end up with hip bruises are usually also the ones who have milky white/jade/etc. skin the narrative obsesses over. It's the same ones whose necks get marked up and obsessed over. It's one of those 'you're too pristine, so I'm going to come all over your face' kinks.

As for soreness... I think "sore" vs. "chafed" is just word choice. Authors may not mean muscle soreness. I've definitely managed to make the chafed feeling last for a while by using absurdly large dildos, and everybody in porn has a massive pornstar dick...

That said, while I've certainly had that sensation where something feels different the next day such that you notice it while walking around, not just in the bathroom, it's not your glutes. It's not usually deep inside either. It's more just the opening, where all the nerves are. The way people describe sitting gingerly is silly: Sure, you might be hyperaware while changing position because that area stretches a little, but it's described like the aftermath of flogging.

I think this is just the "Dick so big it rearranged your guts" style of smut writing where the body is ~forever changed~ by this particular sex even though people are made of a bunch of stretchy muscles that are going to go right back to what they were doing before. I mean, I guess you could forever fuck up the cartilage in your knee while doing something stupidly athletic, but that's not hot.

Do I believe somebody identifies with these porn tropes? Sure. Bodies vary. But there's definitely a canned porn version everybody uses, and I doubt it's because they're drawing from personal experience.

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reirrei · 3 months

Note

HIHIIII<33 i really loved ur shu fic,, ur such a talented writer 🥹🥹 (tumblr yaminions are currently in drought) and i remembered you wrote this!! if ur reqs are closed rn,, pls ignore this 🩷🩷

could i req a gn!reader fluff, as mornings with shu? 🥹🩷

thank u sm!! have a nice day ml <33

xoxo, saku 🤍

HIHIHII SAKU!!! TYSM FOR REQUESTING <33 TUMBLR YAMINIONS REALLY ARE IN DROUGHT 💔

OFC I WILL WRITE MORNINGS WITH SHU AAJAJS

pairings: GN!READER X SHU YAMINO

info: pure teeth rotting fluff of my favorite boy shu yamino himself. What are mornings with Shu like?

warnings: none <3

𝐒𝐇𝐔 𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎 ✦ !

So we know that Shu barely sleeps

This guy I swear he's really stubborn when it comes to such stuff

BUT-! He has a soft spot for you, and specifically you and you only

If someone else were to tell him to go to sleep he would kindly refuse, but you? How exactly can he even say no to you?

But if you're like him, and stay up late - he won't condone that, duh

He'll force you to sleep with him, and he'll sleep just so you get your sleep

Moving on to the mornings - I imagine Shu to be very goddamn tired in the morning

Shu seems like the type of person who would softly snore in their sleep tbh

Every morning, you usually wake up with Shu snuggling onto you right by your side, both of you warm under the bedsheets

Since Shu usually stays up late, he would sleep in whenever he gets the chance to - but if you or him have something to do he is very very on time

You woke up, drowsy with Shu hugging your arm while he nestles his face onto your neck

He looks so peaceful just sleeping there, without any worries whatsoever

Once you try to get up, he'd slowly blink awake, drowsy and tired - HIS MORNING VOICE LOWKEY MAKES YOU FOLD

"(name)..?" his raspy voice would speak, holding your arm so you wouldn't move

"there's still time.. c'mere" he refuses to let you go and instead pulls your body closer to him, and spooning you - but it's not like you mind

The day would start with him cuddling and snuggling you until you force him to get up to eat

Your eyes flicker open as you drowsily look to your side, met with an extremely cute purple haired man snuggling against your side, sleeping happily.

You smile a bit, gazing in his features. How did you even get him? The sun from outside the window hits against his hair perfectly, giving him the perfect lightning - you were mesmerized.

Slowly, you turned your body to grab your phone, the time read 9:32. God you slept in late, you took a glance and Shu. He has been working hard, and he deserves his rest. So you try to peer your arm away from his grasp, but accidentally woke him up.

"mmghm..(name)..?" He said, drowsily, his voice low and raspy as his eyes starts to flicker open.

"ah - sorry Shu, keep sleeping, I'll make breakfast" You smiled and press a kiss against his forehead, making your way out of bed before Shu pulled your body close to his.

"there's still time, I wanna cuddle.." Shu whispered, his blush evident as he holds your body.

you blink a few times, then smiled softly before snuggling in with him.

"just for you.."

Now if Shu were to get up before you - that's a different story

Shu is very responsible, he never misses an alarm clock except for ONE singular time, he doesn't want to talk about it too much

He woke up before you, drowsily waking up and looked to you beside him.

He smiles, so hard, he smiles widely like a highschool girl giggling

He looks like those girls giggling over their crush

Shu feels so SO lucky that he got to meet you, he would trade anything in the world for you

Shu would then place a VERY quick kiss on your cheeks or forehead then run out of the room in embarrassment

Why is it that you always make him feel like this

Shu tiredly opens his eyes, as his alarm clock rang but he shut it off almost immediately so it won't wake you up. He looks to the side and there you are - sleeping peacefully right beside him, your body pressed against his.

He smiles, and quietly giggles to himself looking at you. He's so in love, and he won't get out - ever. He thinks of doing something a little risky.. he looks at you, then back at the door, then you again.

He lunges forward (but quietly) and places a kiss on your forehead, with a huge blush on his face, he dashes (but quietly duh) out of your shared bedroom.

If someone was there they'd see him kneeled down before the bedroom door and giggling to himself.

thank you so much for requesting saku - sorry it's a lil late hehe

#nijisanji #nijisanji en #shu x reader #shu yamino #shu #shu yamino x reader #luxiem x reader #luxiem

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arwainian · 4 months

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The F@tT Fic Marathon: Catching up finally.

🎉I have officially read the full Friends at the Table AO3 tag!🎉

My very silly quest has reached its technical end point after EXACTLY 10 months of intensive reading! It has been sometimes grueling, often delightful, and led to me developing intense opinions in directions i never thought possible to myself. But I have done it, and I am extremely pleased with myself.

To get some housekeeping out the way, I usually give recs upon a writeup, but since there were only three fics left for me to read i'm just gonna shout them out generally.

Fics 1981-1983

check out i'm too scared to say half of the things i do (when i picture you) by waltztangocache for partizan era Kal'mera Broun fantasizing about Valence and trying to keep from letting that slip through their telepathic bond

and if you like Christmas fic, fangirl_squee has got you covered with Fero "not liking Christmas" but being roped into it anyway, and the Bluff City Masks crew hunting down some Christmas mini-miracles

and like, if you're looking for something to read, remember every single writeup has come with at least one personal recommendation. it's all under the tag #fatt fic marathon (also a caveat that these recommendations come from my personal tastes, i might not have mentioned a fic during the marathon that's a favorite of yours and i hope you continue to deeply enjoy what you love even when it might not have hit where I would have liked)

if you would like to take a look at the massive spreadsheet I used to keep track of which fics I was set to read together, as well as other info like what season it was for, and word count, here is a link to it!

What next?

First of all, I'm gonna spend a good long time reading other things. I've accumulated a great big To-Be-Read pile of pleasure reading consisting of both real-ass books and other fanfic that have been put at a lower priority while I powered through this project. I have had fun, but it is high time for a Break to read and do other stuff for a bit. (*glances nervously at my unstarted secsam project*)

If you happen to like my thoughts about what I'm reading, this past year I tried to keep track with reading log posts. They got stripped down to the basics over the course of the year and Finals Season sorta took it out of me so there's nothing for the past couple weeks BUT. i like reading a lot and i like talking about it a lot. so that's all tagged as #cal reading log if you want to keep up with me and my reading

and, what shall happen to these writeups! I'm not interested in continuing these in perpetuity, but I may give a final send off one when the tag hits 2000 (i'm still deciding). otherwise, this is likely the end of them. I might still shout out inidivudual cool fics that get published as I read them, but that's just like, good fandom practice to spread around cool fanworks tbh, rather than this weird thing I've done. nonetheless, i hope y'all had fun watching this journey

and a final thank you to all of the lovely authors who have made fanfic writing their hobby and have chosen to share what they write with others. Thank you! it is extremely obvious that I could not have done this if they never put pen to page or fingertip to keyboard and did the dang thing in the first place. you've made some cool stuff and i like reading it.

Happy New Year Everyone!

#fatt fic marathon #friends at the table #fatt

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agustdiv1ne · 3 months

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honestly? it could've been worse.

lots of things happened in 2023, both good and bad, in real life and on this hellsite. i feel like i've started to hone in on my voice as a writer this year, and my creativity and motivation just seemed to skyrocket for absolutely no reason. it's been fun sharing my work with you guys, and i'm forever grateful for all the love and support i have received <3 furthermore, thank you so so much for 4k followers!!!!! i never thought i would reach such a milestone, so it truly means a lot :')

there's a lot i wish i could have done during 2023 that i didn't end up doing, but i think it is best to focus on what i did accomplish and use that as a stepping stone towards better things. also, there were a lot of times where i didn't feel content with where and who i was. right now, however, i can confidently say that i am happy; i am hoping that happiness will be abundant for everyone in 2024! we all deserve it!!

furthermore, everyone worked hard, so i hope you all give yourself some grace in order to recharge and reset. taking breaks is paramount in maintaining your health and happiness, and i'm glad i learned that it's okay for me to take them lol.

so happy new year everyone! i hope 2024 brings many wonderful things your way, and may we all have a lovely year!! <33

to: @gummygowon 🖤

MAIIII hi ilysm <333 i can't believe we've been friends for 3 years like that's fucking crazy. we have both been THROUGH it over the years but i'm so glad that we've always been able to talk to each other about the crazy shit that happens to both of us 😹 like idk who else i could talk about it with honestly. we are seriously like the same person which is so wild to me but i'm also so grateful for it fr!! i would trust you with my life methinks...also talking about fic ideas with you is so fucking fun. our brainstorming sessions go crazy fr ‼️ ANYWAYS i need to stop being sappy so i love you bitch and we WILL meet up this year or else i will riot!!! happy new year <3

to: @lunalovesstories 🖤

lunaaaa hii!!!! my fellow yeonjun stan, we feel the same pain and suffering whenever he is wilding LOL </3 also i feel like we became close super fast hehe ^^ i'm so glad that we became friends this year and i am forever grateful for you and how kind and supportive and overall amazing you are. becoming moots and friends with you was definitely one of my highlights of 2023!! our daily conversations are something i always look forward to no matter how short or long they are; i truly love talking with you and i hope we can continue to get closer this year :) happy new year! <33

to: @cheolhub 🖤

SAR!!!! ik you haven't been super active as of late so i hope you've been well <3 you are genuinely so cool and i love you sm. i think i screamed when we became moots and then when we started actually talking to each other i screamed even more...embarrassing. well anyways moving on! you are so fucking funny and i love hearing about what you're up to whenever you reappear on disc. you singlehandedly made me reconsider my bias line in svt bc cheol is currently infiltrating it </3 also lmk if you ever need me to fight that girl bc i will do it. no questions asked. seriously though, i hope you're thriving in the year of 2024, happy new year <3

to: @toruro 🖤

mika mika mika hiiiii ^^ you are crazy in the best way tbh, i aspire to be as unhinged as you are...LMAO moving on, you are hella kind and such a fun person to talk to! i love hearing about what you get up to bc it's usually funny af. like. you are just so real. you are such a bright spot on tumblr, please never change because you are amazing and ilysm <3 also your writing is insane. i always start gnawing on my leg when i see that you posted bc i know it's gonna be a banger!!!! you never miss!!!!!!! okay anyways ily again and i hope you have a happy new year <3

to: @prodsh00ky 🖤

hi sam!!!!!!! i hope you've been doing well <3 i know our convos are sporadic af but i always enjoy talking to you and hearing all of your updates! i just think you're so cool and i always get so excited whenever i see you pop up in my messages. i also love talking about writing with you because you understand my pain LOL. i know you're quite busy so i hope everything in your life is going well!! i also hope that 2024 brings you great things because you truly deserve it :) happy new year!!!

to: @koqabear 🖤

sol....my enemy >:( i will not forget all of those assassination attempts that you tried on me throughout 2023. trust me, i won't. JK ANYWAYS HFJHHFDJ you are like the coolest most awesome person on this website to me and i am so grateful that we are friends <3 also grateful that we started talking this year after being moots for a long while. i've always wanted to talk to you tbh so i'm glad i stopped being a weak little bitch and finally did it 😹 i will always go insane over your fics and write like a 2k word essay in response each time, so i hope that doesn't bother you...i will not be stopping though so ig it doesn't matter.......anyways, happy new year!! here's to another year on this hellsite <3

to: @boba-beom 🖤

smiles!!! you are such a ray of light on my dash, i swear i always smile when i see that you've posted. i know we don't talk all that often but i genuinely am so grateful that we are mooties n friends :> you are one of my longest moots, and i am so glad that you have stayed on here as long as you have because idk what i would do without you fr <3 you are so talented and kind and just a wonderful person to be around! happy new year!! may you be happy n healthy this year <33

and to all of my lovely mutuals: @nightlyawnzz @wolfytae-exe @aduh0308 @hyuk4ngel @dearlyjun @takemehye @mazeinthemoon @tyunkus @mixtape-racha @huckleberrykai @naomiarai @hyukalyptus @mapofthemazeinthemirror @taegimood @blackhairedjjun @txtistheloml @heart2beom @majestyjun @fairyofshampgyu @ttyunz @huenation @cherrypeeking @tyungelic @ncteez @peachanonie @hyewka @heartchoi @beom-pyu @petrichor-han @hoshiseon @strawbrinkofdeath @delcakoo @beoms-sugar @minastras @0x11s @hwasdollie @mimziie @baekhvuns @wooyukh @venusiangguk @ah-ga-seven @jimilter @ateezmakemeweep

hello and happy new year!! i hope all of you doing well and that 2024 is treating you well so far :) no matter how much/little we interact, please know that i am so happy to be sharing this space with you ^^ that being said, i hope we can interact more this year!!! (i promise i will try to be less shy,, the keyword here is try) you are all amazing people and i love you all mwahhh <333

🖤 — january

27: give me more (m) — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, pwp

🩶 — february

regrettably empty :(

🤍 — march

23: 10:52 p.m. — soobin ; college au, introverts at a party

🖤 — april

04: frat boy!yeonjun

07: confession — chan ; best friends to lovers au + self-care (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, soft smut

08: corruption (m) — hyunjin ; est. relationship au, corruption kink

11: stormy night (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, hwa vs. your fear of storms (he wins)

13: industry lovers — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au, idol!reader

16: guitar lesson — beomgyu ; best friends to lovers au

21: 2:54 p.m. — taehyun ; college lab partner au

🩶 — may

09: picnic date with boyfriend!yeonjun

16: brother's best friend (m) — yunho ; the au is the title lmfao + 10:21 p.m. (m) — soobin ; est. relationship au, car sex + early mornings with boyfriend!yeonjun

19: vacationing with boyfriend!yeonjun

27: 8:02 p.m — hueningkai ; jack frost au

28: cowboy!yeonjun (m-ish)

🤍 — june

01: double trouble (m) — hongjoong + seonghwa ; poly au

03: 9:05 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.1

06: 9:23 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.2

13: the horrors — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, horror actress!reader

23: txt finding out you have an onlyfans (m)

24: late night outing with boyfriend!soobin

26: dry humping (m) — minho ; pwp

🖤 — july

04: meeting odi for the first time with boyfriend!soobin

08: 12:43 a.m. (m) — yeonjun ; best friends to lovers au + best friend!txt finding out you write smut about them online

started my 3k event: love like the movies!! (which is still ongoing. i'm so sorry)

13: 3k event — yeonjun + howl's moving castle (m)

17: 3k event — beomgyu + titanic (m)

24: 3k event — taehyun + twilight (m)

31: 3k event — hueningkai + enchanted

🩶 — august

05: 11:01 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; rockstar au + 3k event — soobin + the avengers

11: 11:58 p.m. (m) — yeonjun + taehyun ; stoner fratboys au

26: 3k event — taehyun + the proposal (m)

🤍 — september

02: 3k event — beomgyu + the devil wears prada (m)

12: ticket to nowhere (but your heart) (m) — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au

21: untitled (m) — beomgyu ; college au, tutor!reader

22: untitled (m) — taehyun ; college au, nerd!taehyun

🖤 — october

03: telepathy (m) — beomgyu ; mind reader au

23: 3:13 a.m. (m) — beomgyu ; vampire au

🩶 — november

07: 9:51 p.m. (m) — soobin ; serial killer au

🤍 — december

started my 4k event: finish my 3k event LMAO

🖤 — writing plans

get my 3k (and now 4k?) event done (#1 priority after i finish my current soobin wip)

rings of saturn (tear me apart) (m) — taehyun ; college au, friends to lovers au

going under (m) — taehyun + kai ; surfers!tyunning, summer fling au

and they were roommates! (m) — choi line ; college au, new roommate!reader

cross (m) — yeonjun ; cyberpunk au, cyborg!yeonjun

wait on me — kai ; college au, cafe au

the language of love (and the woes that accompany it) — beomgyu ; soulmate au

love, unabridged — soobin ; single dad au, neighbors to lovers au

adagio (m) — yoongi ; second chance at romance au

art incarnate (m) — namjoon + seokjin ; cursed!seokjin, museum curator!namjoon, love triangle

and many many more..........you will see. this is just a taste >:)

🩶 — goals for this blog + myself

interact with more ppl! and more often!!

write 150k words?? we'll see...

write longer fics!!

plan a collab event ^^ i've always wanted to host one, and i think this year is the year!

that was long as hell (sorry)...anyways! once again, happy new year!! love you all <3

- ashlee

p.s. check out my 2023 fic recs post here :)

#tumblr is being wonky so i made a separate recs post </3 #also this is a wee bit late but pls ignore that #2023 wrap up #apologies if i missed anyone :(

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stellar-constellations · 30 days

Note

I really enjoy your fanfic (Yuri Brair x fem!spy! reader) !! I always giggles everytime I read it. I got really excited when I saw your Tumblr too! You're a good writer tbh.

I just wonder to see an usual date between spy!reader and Yuri! I prefer an oneshot more but headcanons would be okay! If you're going to do an oneshot then I'd love to see the first date.

You don't have to this rq. I hope you have a good luck day<3!!

Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader (Date Headcannons)

Beware! This fic DOES contain SPOILERS for the manga and for the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series: An Alliance (part 1)!

This can be read with or without reading my Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series: An Alliance (part 1).

Series information: Setting is AFTER the reader rejoined WISE (so Yuri and [Y/N] are married and [Y/N] becomes an official double-spy).

This is NOT a replacement or part 10 for the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series!

Warning: Reliving PTSD (shell shock they called it in 1950's) from war.

Wordcount: 3,700+ words

Yuri and (Y/N)'s dates are surprisingly very down to earth and mundane. For two people that are almost always spending their time together in playful bickers and working together, they don't really go on dates often. Part of it is because they're always around each other anyways so there's little point, but it's also because the two of them have a hard time being vulnerable around one another. Even if they've been living together with months and are officially engaged, they still started out as enemies and have hidden barriers they've set up without realizing.

A big part of Yuri and (Y/N) is how limited they both are when it comes to expression. Yuri grew up alone alongside his sister, graduated college at 14 without even finishing high school, and put his sister and studies above all else, so he's always been a little limited when it comes to expressing his feelings, relaxing, and social interactions (though he gets better as he goes along).

(Y/N) always had a problem with feeling inferior to others, whether it was because of her short stature due to carrying around heavy military equipment at seven stunting her growth, or it was because of her strength after the military's hardships. Growing up in the military and spy industry didn't leave her any time to play or bother with friends, something she does regret putting on herself at such a young age due to naivety and a thirst for change. She was busy in an adult world doing adult things as a kid that she forgot how to act her age, so sometimes those moments peak through in her everyday life because she starting to feel okay and that her feelings are validated thanks to Yuri. A huge part of her personality is to overshadow that feeling of insecurity and loss of worth, her confidence and humor is merely a facade, but Yuri knows better than that. That's why over time we can see (Y/N) mellow out, starting to calm down and unwind, over the series; starting to accept that she's safe with Yuri.

Yuri and (Y/N) don't go on dates often because they have each other, what more do you need? Flowers and chocolates and candlelit dinners and entertainment tickets and pets, all of that can't replace the love they have for one another, whether they show it or not. There's always moments where they let their guards down and can feel comfortable with one another, such as when Yuri proposed to (Y/N), or when (Y/N) gave Yuri his Christmas present she made, or when the two set aside each others differences to work together as a co-workers and a couple.

A major thing they both do at night before bed is talk about each other's day. They might've spent the whole day together, but they want to know how the other felt during the day. What could've been better? What did the other enjoy? What did they dislike? How did they feel? It's a major part of their relationship because it makes them both feel like their feelings are important and that they're communicating healthily with one another to make their relationship work because they care for one another.

For Yuri, his ideas of dates are going to amusement parks, seeing movies in the theaters, candlelit dinners, and picnics in the park as dates simply because he's unsure what else could be a date. All those things are society's expectations as dates and he's just adopted it because he has no figure to ask for dating advice, his parents are dead and Yor isn't too great of a help due to her limited experience in relationships (and her current relationship being a fraud).

For (Y/N), anything can be a date. Some simple things to cooking dinner together, taking work off together to sleep in, running errands together, visiting Yuri's sister and family together, anything is a date to her because she understands the importance of time. (Y/N) values every moment she has with Yuri because she's not sure when it'll be their last. Servicing in the Westalis military taught her how easy it was to lose everything so fast, from her friends to her most of her family, all it took was a few minutes to lose it all. (Y/N) doesn't want to make the same mistake and take another person in her life for granted. She values every mission, every hug, every kiss, and every word Yuri gives her and takes it with open arms because Yuri is what she cherishes most.

The first date the two of them can actually agree was a date, was a simple day shopping after work. Even though the two were dreadfully tired after their mission, they were still responsible adults that needed to complete their adult chores, even if it was now dark outside. They didn't see the clouds since it was too dark outside, and shopping for groceries ended up being longer than they thought it'd take (after trying to find a store open that late), so they missed their bus.

"Damn it." Yuri groaned, walking back to the bus stop after trying to chase the bus down like a madman in the dark. "Did we really have to get groceries today? Couldn't we have waited tomorrow on our day off?"

"Sorry. I didn't want to have to leave the house tomorrow. I figured we could've just stayed home and relaxed." (Y/N) sighed, plopping down on the metal bench. "You know, being an SSS agent is much harder than I gave you guys credit for."

"Shh! Don't just say that in public!" Yuri hissed, looking around cautiously, before taking a seat on the cold bench next to her. "Who knows who is around, there could be spies or hidden bugs."

"Oh, don't be such a worry wart." (Y/N) groaned, exhausted.

They sat in silent for a couple minutes, before she noticed a smile wafting in the air. It didn't smell like the city's fossil fuels or any cooking from restaurants or such.

"Hey Yuri, I think it's about to—"

A few droplets of water fell on the ground and their heads, causing them both to look up.

"Seriously? Out of all the bus stops in Berlint, this one has a leaking roof?" Yuri groaned.

As if on cue, the rain poured harder, before the bus stop's roof busted open like wet cardboard, dumping the water on them and their groceries.

"Damn it!" Yuri hissed, the paper bags wet and falling apart as they both tried to salvage their groceries from falling on the ground.

"Well... the worst has happened, right?" (Y/N) spoke, trying to smile positively since Yuri couldn't at the moment.

Nobody likes a Debbie-Downer, especially two Debbie-Downers.

Once more, as if the weather heard her, a flash of lightning struck nearby, followed by the powerful hiss of thunder. (Y/N) yelped, jumping up from the bench and almost dropping the food in her hands.

"Hey, calm down. Now it's official, there really can't be anything worse to happen." Yuri sighed.

As the universe heard their optimistic views once more, it felt the need to rain on it (literally), and it turned off all the lamp posts, the power lines being struck by lightning as the streets were instantly engulfed in darkness. (Y/N) jumped at the noise,

"Wow, Lady Luck must really hates us." (Y/N) commented, unsure if she should be angry or sad, but mostly a feeling of dread lingering in her.

"Let's just get home..." Yuri sighed, not even having energy to sound angry, just disappointed.

(Y/N) followed behind him, observing his quick footsteps as he kept his head low, the rain pouring down his face. He used his coat to try and keep the grocery bags in his hands dry, especially the baguette since it would be a shame for it to go to waste.

Even after the long day of work. and grocery shopping, they would still have to go home and make dinner and do laundry. Something Yuri didn't seem to want to do anymore chores today, he looks ready for bed.

The streets were dark except for the occasional lightning from the thunder, so really they were just guessing where to step and hoping they wouldn't trip. (Y/N) noticed him making use of his coat for the bags he held, so she decided to make use of her own. (Y/N) placed her bags on the ground, not caring that the bottoms got wet and started falling apart. She shrugged off her coat (really, one she stole from Yuri) and threw it over his head, adjusting it so he could see as the fabric prevented water from getting in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Yuri questioned, looking at her confused. "Are you catching a cold? Why are you acting stupid?"

"I'm trying to do something nice for you, stupid!" she hissed, starting to regret her kindness.

Maybe it's not too late to trip him, or drown him in a puddle...

"Why don't you just ditch the groceries?" (Y/N) questioned. "They're already ruined now thanks to the rain."

"But we spent money on it." Yuri groaned.

"C'mon, it's not like we don't have the money to buy more. Next time let's just carry an umbrella whenever we go grocery shopping." (Y/N) spoke.

Yuri looked at her, then the groceries, before sighing and placing them on the ground.

"Oh well... maybe someone desperate enough will find good use for it." Yuri spoke. "Still, what a waste."

"Let's hurry up, we still have a bit to walk, and I want to get out of this weather." (Y/N) spoke, ignoring that feeling of dread in her stomach.

Every lightning strike caused a zap of light down the streets, like the flash of grenades, or the light from the rifle's muzzle. Her eyes traveled the streets, searching for any enemies being revealed by the fleeting light. Every bang sounded similar to a trigger being pulled and a bullet firing from the sudden explosive pressure, the sound reminding her of the ringing in her ears after she fired on some poor soul who didn't notice her hiding. The white flashes were replaced with red, the blood on her hands and in her ears, the painful stabbing sensation in her leg and rib as the bullets made a home embedded in her flesh.

"Hey, are you okay?" Yuri questioned as he noticed her unusual quietness.

She was quiet, unusual for her rather talkative personality with Yuri, but it wasn't a comfortable silence. Yuri looked concerned as her face was pale, her arms motionless as she walked, and her pace slowing down despite being adamant about escaping the rain.

It took him a second, but then he realized it; shell shock. Of course, flashing lights and bright noises would make them remember the trauma that took place in the battlefield for a veteran, it doesn't help she was a child when she was in the war either. Even if Yuri disliked Westalis, she played a part and fought for Westalis in the war, and it brought a pity and sympathy for her to experience such a traumatizing event, much less take part in it.

Yuri gently took her arm, being careful not to make any quick movements, and with his other hand he turned her head to face him. There was an almost glazed-look in her eyes, her expression almost emotionless.

"Hey, (Y/N)." Yuri spoke, making sure to keep his tone calm and gentle as he moved his hand down to hers, eloping their fingers together. "Let's go home and get out of this rain."

Rain, right! It was just rain and thunder, not any dirt hitting her from the explosions or the boom of gunfire.

"Oh! Y-yeah... I don't really like thunderstorms..." she mumbled, regaining some sense of the present reality.

Yuri took her coat off his head, instead placing it on her head, covering her eyes so she wouldn't have to see the flashes of light. Unfortunately, he couldn't cover her ears or anything while he walked, but he could at least prevent any visual flashbacks hopefully.

"Hey, what are you doing?" (Y/N) questioned, blindly following Yuri as he held her hand.

His pace quickened as he hurried home with her, doing his best to see since the power was still out so the lampposts didn't work. Eventually, he got to the apartment complex and took the stairs since the elevator was down. He took her to their apartment and unlocked the door, closing it behind them.

The light switch didn't work, though that wasn't a shock since the whole building's power was out. Yuri sat (Y/N) down on their couch and closed the curtains so no lightning could be seen, then rummaged through drawers around the apartment. He found candles and lit the wicks, at least providing a bit of light for the two. Yuri took the candle and guided them to their bedroom. He sat (Y/N) down on their bed as he picked out pajamas for the pair of them.

He looked back at (Y/N), unsure if she'd be able to actually change into the clothes herself or not. She seemed a little better now that they were in the apartment, still obviously shaking and on edge, but at least she gave out short responses when he spoke to her.

"Here, change into these. I'll be right back." Yuri spoke, grabbing his clothes and walking into the dark bathroom to change in the dark while she stayed in the candle's dim light.

He quickly changed out of his after-work clothes and into his pajamas, knocking on the bathroom door. "Hey, I'm coming out. Are you finished changing?"

"Yes." (Y/N) spoke quietly, almost muttering.

Yuri opened the bathroom door, relieved to see she was still present enough to be able to do a task such as changing clothes. Yuri grabbed a towel and dried off (Y/N)'s hair, then proceeded to brush it and use whatever products he's seen her put in it before. When he finished doing (Y/N)'s hair, he took the candle in one of his hands and took her hand in his other, guiding her under their bedsheets. He tucked her in all snug and cozy, before sitting down next to her.

Even with the flashing light covered, every explosion outside left an explosion inside her mind, debris from that day piling up on her as she hit the tree, disoriented and confused why the falling star just destroyed her home. Or the sound of dirt being crunched as military tanks rolled in, the Westalis military trying to aid Luwen's survivors from the bombings, as the shouts of civilians and crying of injured children just like her could be heard from afar. The buses transporting the survivors to shelters as they wore gas masks to prevent themselves from enhancing the chemicals from the nukes, or trying their best to speed out of Luwen to avoid excessive exposure to radiation.

There was no power, so he was unsure how to distract her of the noises going on outside. Her expression seemed troubled, her eyes glazed as they tried to figure out what was the past and present. It was almost like she could feel that heavy gun strap digging into her shoulder again, or how she needed to use both index fingers to apply enough force to pull the trigger and add another fatality to her ever-growing piling count.

"Do you want to read a book?" Yuri questioned, unsure what else to do.

There was no TV, no radio they could listen to since he had a plug-in that needed electricity, no chance of going outside for a walk or even just people watch. It wasn't like they had a pet to entertain (Y/N) with, though he's unsure if he'd even like a pet wandering the house while they're out working.

"No..." (Y/N) muttered, resting her head on Yuri's shoulder.

Every boom sent a jolt in her chest, her body reflecting the feeling as she jolted too. Her hands shook, not from the lingering cold of outside, but from the cold silence in the battlefield. The sudden shouts on the radio channels breaking the noise, static voices crying for help after being shot by the enemy or being stabbed by a knife bayonet to where they couldn't stitch the triangular-wound.

"You like music, right?" Yuri questioned.

"Yes?" (Y/N) answered, confused on what music had to do with thunderstorms in a power outage.

"Ilse Werner... she's one of your favorites, right?" Yuri questioned. "You have her vinyls."

"Yeah. I guess you could say she's one of my German favorites..." she nodded.

"Do you wanna sing?" Yuri questioned, his face dead serious as he looked at her.

"Sing?" she parroted, cracking a smile.

"Yeah. Do you wanna sing with me?" he repeated.

"Sure..." she hummed, smiling. "Can we sing 'Ich hab dich und du hast mich' (I have you and you have me)?"

"Of course you'd choose that one." He spoke, playfully rolling his eyes.

(Y/N) grabbed his hand and looked up at him saying the first words as Yuri quickly followed, falling into a symphony together.

"Ich seh’ die Welt seit heute

In rosarotem Licht

Es haben alle Leute

Ein glückliches Gesicht

Es sehen alle Dinge

Bunt und verzaubert aus

Zwei kleine gold’ne Ringe

Und schon ist das Glück im Haus."

(From today on I see the world

Through rose-tinted glasses

All the people

Have happy faces

All the things seem

Colourful and magical

Two little gold rings

And that's enough to keep us happy)

Sure, their rings weren't gold, instead a pretty silver with rubies on top, but that's fine with them. It's not like a color would deter the two of them, their love was still as pure as gold even if their rings weren't.

"Ich hab’ dich und du hast mich

Was brauchen wir noch mehr

Einmal Freud und einmal Leid

Zu zweit ist’s halb so schwer

Ich bin jung und du bist jung

Und vor uns liegt die Welt

Man erreicht ja alles leicht

Wenn man zusammenhält"

(I have you and you have me

What else do we need?

Both happiness and pain

Are easier to bear when they're shared

I'm young and you're young

The whole world lies at our feet

Well, it's easy to achieve anything

If we stick together)

Both happiness and pain, a vow shared between the two once Yuri proposed that ring and (Y/N) accepted. Even if they originally hated each other, coming from two separate sides of this ongoing Cold War between Westalis and Ostania as the Iron Curtain blocked them, they still had each other whilst the rest of the world was under them.

"Ab heute ist mein Leben

Von Grund auf renoviert

Du hast außer der Wohnung

Auch mein Herz frisch tapeziert"

(From today on my life has been

Changed from the ground up

Not only the walls, you've also

Wallpapered my heart)

Not only have the two fought each other countless times through bickers and arguments and even missions (Yuri's poor jaw), it never deterred the other. Somehow along their fighting, they managed to fight their ways into each other's hearts, keeping an iron fist to never let go of one another.

"Ich hab’ dich und du hast mich

Was brauchen wir noch mehr

Einmal Freud und einmal Leid

Zu zweit ist’s halb so schwer."

(I have you and you have me

What else do we need?

Both happiness and pain

Are easier to bear when they're shared)

Hardships will always be apart of one's marriage. Is it truly love if you don't fight for it?

"Ich hab’ dich und du hast mich

Was brauchen wir noch mehr

Einmal Freud und einmal Leid

Zu zweit ist’s halb so schwer."

(I have you and you have me

What else do we need?

Both happiness and pain

Are easier to bear when they're shared)

Love will never be easy, there will never be a perfect happy ever after. After all, love has lessons you must learn. In order to care for another, you must first care for yourself. You can't expect to care for someone if you can't even take care of yourself. You deserve to be placed on a pedestal too. You shouldn't tear yourself apart trying to sew another together.

"Ich bin jung und du bist jung

Und vor uns liegt die Welt

Man erreicht ja alles leicht

Wenn man zusammenhält"

(I'm young and you're young

The whole world lies at our feet

Well, it's easy to achieve anything

If we stick together).

Suddenly, the explosions outside didn't exist in her mind, but her heart instead. She smiled at Yuri, resting her head on his shoulder as she hummed.

"Thank you, Yuri..." she spoke.

"Anytime, (Y/N)." He smiled, leaning back and placing his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side.

What's there to be scared of when (Y/N) had Yuri and Yuri had (Y/N)?

Thank you for being patient as I work on this! At the moment, I do have more requests in, however I believe I'll finished the Andrew Graves x reader: Star Patient series before I continue working on requests. I know I always complete requests extremely late and a good part of that is not having any time to write and not having any motivation to write, so I appreciate everyone who continues to read my work and engage in my writing hobbies! Thank you to all my stars for supporting me on our journey through the galaxy together!

Want more Yuri Briar content? Check out the Yuri Briar masterlist!

By the way, the song was "Ich hab dich und du hast mich" (I have you and you have me) by Ilse Werner. The original song is in German. Lyrics was translated and used from the website lyricstranslate.com

Inbox is OPEN for requests!

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francis-writes · 1 month

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Request: I’d love a NSFW fic with Rabban and a concubine reader (I’m female but this can be GN!reader). The Baron is threatening Rabban, and he needs to release some of his frustrations. Maybe we can see how he’s a beast in other ways 😏

A/N: here we go! Sorry that it's short and not intense enough, or just not really good, tbh I didn't write actual smutty stories (not counting headcanons) for some time

Reader is AFAB

You were sitting alone in Rabban's room. Usually concubines left right after the act and came back to their separate chambers but Rabban got used to you - for some time you were basically the only concubine he slept with and he preferred to keep you with him as often as possible. Now he went to meet with his uncle and discuss the situation on Arrakis. He asked you to stay here and wait for him. You got bored as time passed and he wasn't coming back so you started walking around the room and look at Rabban's things. He didn't tell you much about, especially that there weren't much to talk about. Like other Harkonnen's, his room was painfully minimalistic, lacking color and any object that wasn't indispensable. It matched Rabban's work in military but you would definitely decorate it differently. Of course, if he asked you to.

You heard a heavy footsteps at the corridor and you jumped on the bed. As you expected, Rabban entered the room a moment later.

"How was the meeting?" You asked and immediately regretted it. You could see from his face and posture that something went wrong. Baron Harkonnen was never a really nice person, even to his close family, but this time he had to treat Rabban really harsh.

He hit the wall with anger and then rested his head on his fist, visibly overhelmed. He was silent for a moment as if stress and rage left him unable to form a word. Finally, he spoke:

"He wants to take Arrakis from me and give it to my brother. After all I did! And he said that my next failure will be my last one"

He fell silent, clenching his fist. You wanted to step closer, hug him or stroke his back but you weren't sure how he might react. So instead you stayed in your place and spoke in a calming tone:

"That's terrible, you have done so much, you fought so hard to give him everything he wants... you deserve this planet. You deserve more, Rabban"

He finally straightened up and stepped closer to the bed. He grabbed your hair, pulling it back so you raised your head. He kissed you.

"You're right. I deserve more. So lets forget about my uncle for a moment and you will give me my reward"

He started taking off his uniform. You were only in a short tunic (which was almost transparent so wearing it had little sense) so you just got on your knees, observing Rabban's massive, powerful body. You spent with him many nights but you still shivered, thinking about what was awaiting you. Though it was more a shiver of excitement, than of fear. When he took off his shirt, you reached out and delicately touched his skin. Rabban smiled, took your hand and placed it on the growing bulge in his pants.

"If you wanna stroke me, then better in this place"

You smiled as well and played along, massaging his crotch. Rabban gasped and undid his belt.

"Oh, it will be definitely easier without pants" you took away your hand, giving him time to strip of the rest of his clothes. When he finally threw away the last part of clothing, he climbed on the bed, pining you to the mattress. He didn't even have to try and wrestle with you, his weight alone kept you in place.

You gasped when he leaned over and started kissing and biting your neck, occasionally sucking on your delicate skin. You knew he was gonna leave marks but you got used to it. Rabban always enjoyed marking you and leaving hickeys and bruises so they would remind you about him when he's away.

Now he slided his hand under your tunic, squeezing your thighs harshly. You whined but his hand went higher, between your legs.

"I see that you got ready for me" he said smugly. And right, you were already dripping wet and you couldn't say what turned you on so much - Rabban's mere presence or his aggresion.

He slipped two fingers with you and started massaging your clit with his thumb. You moaned and embraced his waist with your legs, clinging desperately to his strong body. You appreciated that he always made sure to work you up like that, even when he was in a worse mood. He had a thick cock and he wanted to make you as wet and relaxed as possible, so it was easier to adjust to him later.

Soon he added third finger and increased the pace of his thrusts. You forgot to take your tunic before so he ripped it with one hand to reveal your bare chest. Rabban began to suck on and play with your nipples. Sensations overhelmed you, so you just tilted your head back and breathed heavily while he covered your chest in another set of marks.

Finally, he pulled of his fingers and brought them to your mouth. You knew him well so without any hesitatiom you sucked them clean, taking them whole in your mouth so they almost reached your throat. At this point, Rabban started breathing heavily as well and his excitement could be easily seen and felt as he pressed his loins to your body.

He lifted your hips a bit and without further hesitation, he entered you. You took his dick many times and he made sure you were ready for him but it still made you gasp in first moment.

Sometimes - quite often, actually - Glossu let you take control during sex. It was a surprising experience to dominate this man twice your size, who brought terror over nations. It was really enjoyable though and you loved having him on your knees for you, waiting for your commands.

But moments like this, when he had to release his frustrations, deal somehow with all the pressure put on him by his family, by his name... those were exceptions and you let him take a lead without a word. He got lost in his movement, he didn't think about Arrakis anymore, the only things that existed for him right now, were you and the pleasure that overhelmed him.

Finally he came and fell on the bed beside you, pulling you to his chest and hugging you tightly. You rested your head on his chest, focusing on the sound of his steady heartbeat. It would be smart to go to the bathroom before he falls asleep because then there would be no chance to get out from under his arms. But you didn't want to leave yet so you embraced him as well, enjoying the warmth of his body. He could be a beast, but ironically, he was the one who made you feel safe.

#rabban harkonnen x reader #rabban harkonnen #glossu rabban #glossu rabban x reader #harkonnen x reader #house harkonnen #beast rabban #beast rabban x reader #rabban harkonnen imagine

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multifanderwrites · 2 months

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Sam Monroe x Autistic!Jewish!Reader (Well... Technically, Writer) Head Canons

Part Two

[TW: self harm mentions, depression, suicide. heads up: this fic takes place in the year 2006, and I did this deliberately to make it reasonable for the relationship between the reader and Sam. Basically, Alyssa and Sam's relationship is now a thing of the past and this is after the events of Life as a House. Sam is over 18, so is the reader. I'm not quite sure l'm going to make this one entirely NSFW yet but if I do, it definitely needs to be split into parts. There’s a make out section, but that’s about it really. Btw, the reader is observant but not shomer Shabbat. So, kosher home, doesn't always go to shul/ synagogue. Also, this isn't me saying "you should convert to Judaism”. TBH, I really didn't have much of a plot in mind for this; I just wanted to write about Sam Monroe because Life as a House... made me feel emotions. In fact, I think that should be the basic message of this fic: watch Life as a House so you too can experience emotions. 😌 Oh, CW: the “K” slur, antisemitism, ableism, misogyny… but not from Sam because are you kidding me?!!! Okay, bye]

You're a very shy person. You don't typically interact with people in the hallway on the way to your class.

But on a random Wednesday in January, you accidentally bump into him.

Sam Monroe, who is just as quiet, and just as shy as you. Inside, he is... just as sad as you feel sometimes.

Your college isn't the most Jew-friendly place, let alone the most special needs-friendly, but it's better than going to that community college for yet another semester.

Anyhow, when you bump into Sam... you're going through a very tough day. Today's classes went pretty badly for you because you didn't get the accommodations you needed, even though you'd asked for them on the exact date you were supposed to!

So, you're trying to make yourself look like you're not crying or about to cry.

But Sam's cried enough times to know when someone is hiding their tears. And when he sees the tears in your eyes... his heart breaks. "Are you okay?", he asks you softly.

You put on a fake smile and nod. "Mhm."

But the look on your face says otherwise. But before you can leave to get to class, Sam stops you. Mind you, he's pretty sure that you're not doing okay. So, when he stops you, it's a gentle stop. More like a hand on your shoulder. "You don't look okay," he says.

"I need to get to my next class," you reply. "I'm sorry for bumping into you."

He smiles as you walk away. He doesn't look away as you head towards your class. "You can bump into me anytime," he whispers.

The second time you meet Sam, it's at lunch.

You're sitting alone, eating your lunch... and you're still feeling very upset about the fact that your accommodations haven't been put in place yet.

Sam finds you under the tree he usually sits. With a smile, he walks up to you. "Mind if I sit with you?, he asks. You shrug, too emotionally exhausted to answer. The smile on his face fades away as he sits next to you. His eyes are immediately drawn to the dried tears on your cheeks. "I knew you weren't okay," you hear him say. "Come here." And then, you feel an arm wrapping around your shoulder. Too upset with yourself to protest, you allow him to pull you to his chest and hold you. "I'm Sam, by the way," he says as he gently begins to rub his hand up and down your forearm.

"I'm Y/N," you mumble as you feel new tears stinging your eyes.

He smiles weakly at the sound of your voice. "Very pretty name," he tells you. "So, what's wrong, Y/N?"

You tell him about the issues with your accommodations. To your surprise, he's extremely sympathetic. He doesn't judge you, just listens and allows you to vent.

You end up exchanging numbers because you both know you'll need to talk to each other again. You're not sure what you'll talk about, but you hope that Sam doesn't forget you.

But that's the thing: Sam Monroe isn't forgetting about you any time soon.

He texts you on Thursday morning, asking you if you've gotten the accommodations you needed for your classes.

"I don't know yet, but here's hoping!", you reply.

"Let me know if there's anything I can do to help," he texts back. And then... "<3"

He sends a single heart. To you. You've only known him for a day... and he sends you a heart? You send him a heart right back. Genuinely, you mean it.

And in response, he texts, "Wanna have lunch together again?"

"Oh, absolutely!"

Come lunchtime, you run to him with a big smile on your face. He returns it. "Well?"

"I'm accommodated!", you say as you spread your arms out.

"You're accommodated?"

"I'm accommodated!"

He laughs and scoops you in his arms, spins you around in a circle. Sam puts you back on the ground and pulls back with a grin. "I'm so happy to hear that," he tells you. The way he's looking at you now makes you feel like you're everything to him. Oh, little do you know. And oh, little does he know. Well... maybe he knows a little. "How should we celebrate?", he asks.

You shrug. "You choose."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I mean..." you trail off... then you mumble, "You kind of saved me from doing something stupid."

This confuses him, but he doesn't question it. But he'll save the question for a rainy day. "Okay." He pretends to think of a way to celebrate this little victory of yours, then... "Dinner, tomorrow night."

Your face falls. Your parents want you home for Shabbat dinner tomorrow... but this boy is asking you out??!! At least, you think he is. "I... have this thing tomorrow night." Uh-oh. Think, Y/N! Think! No, wait- "But you could come!"

Oh. Oh no. Wait... you might not have lost your chance! Why is he smiling? "Oh. Cool. What's tomorrow night?", he asks.

You're a little hesitant to say it... but you'd rather not surprise him. So, you answer, "Shabbat at my parents."

Sam... doesn't seem to be even a little disappointed. "You're Jewish," he replies with a smile.

You don't smile back, but you confirm that yes, you are Jewish.

"That's cool," he says.

"How?"

Sam laughs and replies, “I don’t know. It’s just… I’ve never been invited to any kind of Shabbat dinners before. But it’s supposed to be the end of the week, right?”

You nod. “We have a dog at my house. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. I love dogs,” he says, can’t help thinking of his father’s dog. The yellow Labrador has been gone for two years now, but Sam is certain that his father is reunited with the dog at last.

You two meet up in the parking lot the next day, and you help him drive to your house.

Your mother and father immediately like Sam, and so does your dog Zip. [listen: my fan fiction, my rules. Important rule: my dearly departed Biggle lives on forever in my writing. 😌] The feeling is mutual. Sam feels right at home with your parents, and when your father offers to bless him after kiddish (the blessing over the wine)… it stuns him. But Sam feels honored.

The meal of the night is your mother’s homemade macaroni and cheese, as well as salmon. You just have the macaroni and cheese because… you have issues with texture. But your new friend enjoys your mother’s cooking!

Actually, Sam enjoys hanging out with your family! Genuinely, he’s having a great time with you guys!

Over the weekend, he gets to know you even better. And in turn, you get to know him more. He lets you know about his struggles with mental health… which you can relate to.

It’s on a different level than his, but it’s still relevant. And when he tells you that he’s open to listening to you… you burst into tears.

Talking about your internalized misogyny, antisemitism, and ableism is not easy for you… but Sam is patient, allowing you to take your time to gather your thoughts. You censor yourself, fearing what he’d say if he knew that you’ve tried to harm yourself in the past… in the recent past.

But he does listen to you speak about all these issues, and he doesn’t judge you. When you’ve exhausted yourself from all that talk, you collapse in his lap. With gentle fingers, Sam plays with your hair. He tells you, “I’m so sorry you’ve been holding all that in, Y/N. But please know that I won’t ignore you. I’m not a therapist… but I’ll help in whatever way I can.” I love you, he almost says. But perhaps it’s too early for him to say such a thing. Still, he does love you. This he’s certain of. But do you love him?

Yes. You do. But you worry that he won’t return your feelings. Still, you can’t hide your blushing when his fingers graze against your face as he plays with your locks. “Thank you, Sam,” you mutter softly.

You end up falling asleep in his lap, which Sam finds adorable. Gently, he moves you so that your head is laying against his chest. His arms wrap around you tightly, protecting you from any bad dreams that might arise in your slumber. He’s so very sure that he loves you because he doesn’t want you to leave any time soon. Oh, how he loves you. This girl, so easy to trust and so sweet.

But underneath all that kindness, Sam now knows that there’s a ton of pain and suffering in your heart. And that’s what reminds him of something that you said that Thursday afternoon when you guys spoke: he saved you from doing something stupid.

Sam puts the pieces together… and correctly comes to the realization that you meant… hurting yourself, or worse. This makes him feel more protective of you, and he holds you even tighter. He barely knows you, but he’s so sure that he loves you. And even if he wasn’t, he can’t imagine life without you.

He realizes that he’s crying now because the thought of you being in pain is just too much. You’re still fast asleep… but Sam hopes that you’ll still feel his lips gently touching the top of your head. “Don’t forget that you matter,” he whispers softly as he waits for you to wake. He wants you to wake up, so he can tell you the truth: that he knows that you’re really suffering… but that he loves you regardless. And he wants to tell you how beautiful you are to him, and how wonderful you are.

Sam’s not sure if he’s ever loved anyone this much… but the only person he can think of that would come close is his father. And he didn’t realize how much he loved George until that summer. Now, here you are… and Sam has quickly fallen in love with you. In your sleep, you cling to him tightly. And in return, he kisses the top of your head.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, Y/N,” he whispers tenderly, “but if you can, I love you. I know we’ve only known each other for a few days but I love you. And I’m always here for you. I’m not sure if you love me too… but even if you didn’t… it wouldn’t matter. You can’t ask me to stop caring for you… because I know what it’s like to feel like nothing.”

You’ve actually been awake for a while now… and you heard that heartfelt speech from the boy who has been nothing but kind to you from the get go. And now… you open your eyes, and you look at him with tears. You tell him, “Sam, I love you too.”

Hearing you say this makes him feel relieved… but he knows that things have to move slowly. He’s not keen on repeating the relationship between himself and Alyssa, which ended mutually, but still. He doesn’t have any intention of making you feel uncomfortable or cornered. So, he just holds you in his arms as he talks. “I hate to ask… but what did you mean by ‘doing something stupid’? What did I save you from?”

“I… didn’t think you’d remember that,” you reply sheepishly.

“Well, I remember everything you say,” he shoots back as he runs his fingers through your hair. The smile on his face is gone as quickly as it came… because he knows that your answer won’t be easy to say. “So? What did you mean when you said that?”

You sigh deeply and snuggle into his chest even further- can you go any further?- as you answer. “To be completely honest, Sam… I don’t think I would’ve actually done it… but I was thinking about killing myself that day. But I would’ve never actually done it because… I just have too much going on. And I know my parents would be devastated… and so would Zip.” Your cheeks heat up when Sam traces your face with his thumb. “And then you came along, and now… I don’t think it’s possible for me to go through with any plans of suicide. But even if there was, I think I would’ve chickened out.”

“That’s not chickening out. I think that’s really brave, Y/N. I mean, you’re choosing to live,” he says with tears in his eyes. He sniffles and laughs. “As if I didn’t need any more reasons to love you.”

You feel shame, because you don’t think that you’re brave. “Sam, I’ve hurt myself,” you confess.

Rather than berate you, he just continues to hold you in such an affectionate way. His eyes are full of love for you. “Don’t take this the wrong way but I figured,” he replies.

You can’t help trembling now… but still, you trust Sam. “How?”

He shrugs and then says, “It takes one to know one. But don’t worry. I promise I’ll be here for you. I’ve been clean for almost three years, and I still have the urge sometimes but… now, I’m finding more reasons not to give up.” He drifts close to your face, his eyes trained on your lips. “And do you wanna know something special?” He cups both of your cheeks and smiles. “You’re one of those new reasons.”

You immediately start to cry when you hear that. “You’re quite the charmer, Sam Monroe,” you quip.

There’s such tenderness in the way he’s acting now, and that’s no accident. “Has anyone ever kissed you before, Y/N?”

You shake your head. “I’ve never really had any serious relationships… or any relationship for that matter,” you tell him.

He finds this very sad, considering how lovely you are. But he also finds pride in knowing that he’s your first kiss. And perhaps he can be more than that. But time will tell. Still… he is sure of one thing: he loves you so much. “Close your eyes,” he says softly. As soon as your eyes are closed, he presses his lips to yours. He’s gentle, but all the more passionate. He’s addicted to you now, and he’s certain that you deserve to feel loved and cared for by him. And not just him. Everyone. When he pulls away, the first thing he sees is your eyes filled with tears. He wipes them all away. “Was that good?”

You nod.

“Do you want more?”

Again, you nod. Because you need to kiss him again. Perhaps you need to do more, but you also don’t want to rush things. Even so, the feeling of being kissed by this guy… it doesn’t compare to anything else you’ve ever experienced.

From that point forward, you and Sam Monroe are inseparable. Save for when you two have to go to classes… and home. But still, you two are so attached to each other.

There’s a few people who don’t like that he’s dating a Jewish girl- cue the snickers from jealous girls who are starting to call you antisemitic names- or even that he’s dating someone on the autism spectrum.

But he’s far too happy with his new girlfriend to care. Oh boy, does he love spending time with you. And hearing your laugh makes him smile, no matter what it is that’s causing your laughter. It’s random sometimes, but if it’s bringing you joy, Sam really doesn’t care. All that matters is your happiness.

Intimacy with Sam is a challenge at first, but you overcome it. Around Valentine’s Day, you work up the courage to let him give you a hickey.

The way he latches onto your neck is strange at first… but when you feel his arms tightening around you, it’s enough to make you relax. And the moans that come from you are enough to drive him crazy. You hold him tightly too, wanting to feel him while he sucks on your neck passionately.

Immediately after marking you, he kisses your lips. The kiss is filled with lust, and it’s a little more aggressive than you’re used to but you like it. And the way he’s holding you… it gives you butterflies in your stomach… and they fly real low. [another NPMD reference. 😏] The way his tongue slides against yours makes you feel so good.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says against your lips. “God, Y/N, you’re so beautiful.”

You freeze.

Noticing this, Sam stops and gets off of your body. “Baby, are you okay?”, he asks as he helps you sit up. You start to cry, which makes your boyfriend sad. Still, he made a promise to you, and so, he hugs you while you sob. “I got you, baby,” he whispers softly.

“I’m not beautiful, Sam,” you say with a shaky voice.

“What are you talking about? Of course you are. You are so beautiful.” Before you can even argue, he pulls back and takes your face in his hands. “Y/N, look at me. Please, sweetheart.” When your eyes meet his, the first thing he does is kiss your forehead. “You take my breath away, baby. Every time I look at you, I feel like I’m looking at an angel.” [I know it’s not Anakin but could you please leave me alone and let me write my fan fiction?] Sam strokes your cheeks as he continues telling you about yourself. “Every day, I count myself lucky to know you. Not even that. But I get to call you my girlfriend?”

“Well, your girlfriend’s a kike, so-“

Sam frowns when you say that word. That awful word that has been used to harm Jewish people for over a century. “Hey. Please don’t say that, baby,” he pleads softly.

“That’s what some of the people on campus say.”

Internally, he rolls his eyes. “Well, they’re idiots,” he replies as he drifts close to your face. “And they don’t deserve your time.”

[To be continued… because the next part absolutely has to be smut. I really don’t see any other way to do it other than with very fluffy smut. I think that might be my signature thing. 👀]

#fanfiction #star wars #anakin skywalker #hayden christensen #darth vader #sam monroe x reader #sam monroe #life as a house #Hayden Christensen fluff #TW: k slur #jewish!reader #autistic!reader #Sam Monroe fluff #sam monroe fanfiction #very fluffy #hurt/comfort

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danmei-confessions · 3 months

Note

Adding my two cents as a survivor of multiple forms of abuse (including CSA): I *really hate* how this fandom acts about abuse narratives-- demonizing one abuse survivor vs another, when in reality both of them have done fucked up things as a result of their trauma (it's what makes both LBG and SJ so compelling to me personally!!). I *especially* hate how people seem to basically "tier" abuse, with SA being the "worst trauma" over any other kind and acting as though SJ is more worthy of... pity? idk because of implied CSA (which... that in itself is fanon and up for interpretation... I personally think so, but in a somewhat different way than the usual interpretation but that isn't important) than LBG is... that might not be peoples' intent, but physical vs sexual abuse shouldn't be a "this is worse than that" sort of thing since different traumas affect different people differently, and it's really really uncomfortable to see people make that kind of assumption and talk about very real traumas that very real people face the way they do.

Anyway, I feel like a lot of the debates are due to piss-poor reading comprehension across the fandom. People point out that SJ abused LBH because *a lot of times people will actually act like he didn't.* Things like saying there was medicine in the tea, or that he didn't know/approve of the fake manual... even claims that "that was just the way things were and corporal punishment was normal." Which... is pretty gross tbh.

I like SJ's character as a person who was hurt who then turned around and took that out on others. He's one of my favorite characters because he shows that less inspiration-porn, poor-meow-meow side of a trauma survivor. It's realistic in a very gritty, bitter sort of way. That shit can fuck people up! I relate to him for so many reasons, but that doesn't mean I'm going to deny what he ended up doing by his own agency later. The cycle of abuse is a real danger, and SVSSS actually portrays that really well, which is why I like the book so much!

Idk. SJ stans claim they "don't excuse his abuse" but that's absolutely not true bc I've had people come on my posts and fics doing just that. It's like they miss the point of the character-- not completely scum, but both scum and pitiful... Some people seem to go too far in the defense.

Also, if you're someone who doesn't deny that SJ abused LBH, then *this isn't about you.* It's about the people who do. People in this fandom need to realize that both SJ and LBG are abusers, and that that's the POINT OF THE WHOLE THING, and that neither of them should be excused for it!! But the source of it should still be recognized in both cases!! And I feel that a lot of people don't like to admit that SJ, despite his trauma, *was* the cause of a lot of LBH's trauma. And me saying this ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT ERASE HIS OWN TRAUMA OMG but like... those SJ fans are already well aware of SJ's trauma and LBH's crimes so it doesn't really need to be mentioned??

LBG and SJ were BOTH TRAUMA SURVIVORS. Neither "Worse" than the other because uhhh clearly they were both incredibly traumatized because of the way they ended up turning out. Stop ranking trauma, that's disgusting.

But BOTH OF THEM WERE ALSO ABUSERS.

That. Is. The. POINT. OF. THEIR. STORY!!!!

This is at ANYONE who denies either the victim or the abuser status of either of these characters: fucking stop it. You might not like to hear it, but no matter how traumatized SJ was, the way he treated LBH was still abusive and if you excuse him for it then you're participating in abuse apologism. The same goes for LBG (and any other character whose actions are abusive).

I know we get attached to our favorite characters for various reasons, but when it actually starts veering into abuse apologism IN ANY FORM, that makes me feel really sick and uncomfortable with the way people talk about things that *actually happen to people irl.*

SVSSS fandom, you need to fucking stop.

#danmei confessions #svsss #shen jiu #luo bingge #discourse #salty pickle jar

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amor1st03 · 1 year

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Did My Heart Love Till Now? | Han Jisung

Han Jisung x fem!reader

friends to lovers, college au, fluff, little bit of angst

warnings: some suggestive jokes, alcohol consumption, teeny tiny bit of jealousy, like one swear word, think that's it let me know if I missed anything

word count: 10.8k (it's a long ik so buckle in lmao)

in which: your university puts on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and you're excited to be playing alongside your long time crush Hyunjin. Things get a bit complicated when Jisung is thrown in the mix

a/n: I swear I'm gonna start working on some fics for the others members soon I'm just obsessed with him rn tbh lmao but anyway this took me forever to write I just couldn't seem to sit down and write large chunks of it but I finally finished it so hope you enjoy :)

Skz masterlist

You couldn't believe how lucky you were to have been cast in the play.

You had pushed your way through the crowd of people to get to the bulletin board to look at the names on the casting sheet. Romeo, Hwang Hyunjin, of course. But then you looked at Juliet's casting and your jaw dropped. Your own name was beside it. You couldn't believe it, you had got the part! A large smile spread across your face. Not only did you get the main lead but you also would be playing love interests with the guy you had been obsessing over since you started university.

You looked at the other cast members to see who else you would be working with. You were pleased to see your best friends Felix and Jeongin were in the play too as Benvolio and Paris. Bangchan had been cast as Lord Capulet, Minho as Lord Montague, Seungmin as Friar Laurence, and Changbin as the villain, Tybalt. You also saw that Romeo's best friend, Mercutio, would be played by Han Jisung. How fitting.

Jisung and Hyunjin had been friends since high school so the two of them playing best friends in the play would require next to no acting. Mercutio also was a rather playful character which would fit Jisung well. You had only spoken to Jisung a handful of times. You majored in English and Drama combined while he studied music but you shared one class together that you had a few times a week about writing poetry. Jisung had decided to join this class because he thought it might help to understand language better and also help him write his songs. Songs after all were technically just poetry with music behind it.

You had shared nothing other than civil conversations but he was a nice enough guy. He was a bit of a class clown, trying to make people laugh but he was always nice to everyone and on top of that never let his 'class-clown-ing' get in the way of his grades.

You were excited about the play but a little bit nervous. But you knew you could do this, you had worked so hard at studying the play and had rehearsed for weeks for the audition. All you had to do was just focus on the play. And, hey, it also gave you the chance to get closer to a certain Hyunjin, right?

***

You avoided eye contact as you made your way into the theatre for the first script reading. You made your way onto the stage where the drama teacher had set out a circle of chairs with a script placed on each one. There were a few students already sat down and talked amongst themselves. You picked up a script and took a seat, away from everyone else, hoping Felix and Jeongin would get here soon.

When Han Jisung entered the room, you were the first person he spotted. He had spoken to you a few times but nothing other than small talk, really. But he knew he wanted to get closer to you for the play. He wasn't sure why he was so intrigued by you but he found it fascinating that, despite you being usually reserved and quiet, when you were on stage you were a different person. He put his intrigue down to the fact that he wanted to learn from you as it was his first time doing the show.

Every year your school did some play that everyone was allowed to audition for, not just the drama majors. In last year's play, you had played one of the secondary roles but Jisung had thought you stole the whole show. You were truly incredible. He was so glad when he read your name on the casting list next to Juliet because he knew you would be perfect. Especially alongside one of his best friends, Hyunjin. Hyunjin had always had a flare for dramatics and he believe that you and him would do a great job as the titular characters.

Jisung made his way across the room to you and up onto the stage. He took the seat next to you and smiled as you turned your head to face him.

"Hi, Jisung," You said with a soft smile.

"Hey, I don't know any of those guys is it alright if I sit with you?"

"Yeah of course it is, but aren't some of your friends in the play as well?"

"Oh yeah, they are but I'm sure they'll join us soon." Your stomach flipped, you knew Jisung was friends with Hyunjin and the thought of him sitting with you made your start to feel a little flustered and he wasn't even here yet.

Focus, Y/N. Be professional, you told yourself. That was when Hyunjin happened to walk into the theatre laughing along with some of his friends. You had a moment where your mind went blank as the boy beside you waved his friends over. As Hyunjin approached, you felt your heart race. Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm yourself, putting a small smile on your face as Hyunjin sat down beside Jisung.

You're playing his love interest, for god sake, you cannot, I repeat cannot act flustered around him, you kept telling yourself.

"Hey, guys this is Y/N, she is in a one of my classes." They all greeted you, introducing themselves. You already knew all of their names, of course, how could you not? You were living most of the people at your university's dream right now, surrounded by what most considered to be the hottest group of guys to ever come to this school.

"You were in the play with me last year, right?" Hyunjin spoke up looking over at you. You just simply nodded with a polite smile on your face. "You were one of the secondary characters but your monologue was truly amazing."

"Oh, thank you, you were amazing last year too."

"Thanks," Hyunjin replied, "I'm looking forward to working with you." You felt your cheeks warm up.

"I'm looking forward to working with you too. All of you." You looked around at the group of boys and smiled.

***

Rehearsals were going well as the weeks seemed to fly by. You had grown to like all of the boys, hanging out with the group even outside of rehearsals. Jisung and yourself had picked up a weekly routine of hanging out to practice, your characters never interacted in the show but you both enjoyed filling in to help each other learn your parts.

"I'm so glad you agreed to help me out with this, Y/N. I've never done any acting before this," He said, looking up at you from his seat on the floor, watching you perform one of Juliet's monologues. The two of you had booked out one of the drama rooms at your university for practice after your classes had finished for the day.

"Well, you're a natural," You said, sitting down next to him.

"So are you and you give really good advice too. After I saw you in last year's play and auditioned for this one I knew I wanted you to help me with it."

"Using me for my talents, are we?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Jisung!" You hit his shoulder softly.

"I'm kidding. I enjoy hanging out with you sometimes. That is when you aren't hitting me."

"Shut up. Now come on, show me how you're getting along with the Queen Mab monologue."

He stood up and began his monologue. You watched in awe as he spoke with enthusiasm. When he had finished he was happy to hear your round of applause.

"Wow, like I said you're a natural. Almost on par with Hyunjin," You teased as you handed him his water bottle.

Hyunjin. That was something that was weighing on his mind. He knew that you were shy but now you were comfortable around all the guys but something was different about Hyunjin. Something twisted in his stomach, he wasn't sure why.

"You like him, right?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"Huh?"

"Hyunjin. You like him, don't you?"

"Oh my god, is it that obvious?" You asked, sounding a little flustered.

"A little, but I don't think anyone else has noticed. But I did." You put your hands in your face.

"I'm so embarrassed."

"Why? You can like whoever you want. You wanna talk about it? I won't tell anyone." You smiled softly.

"I don't know, I've liked him for a while, but it wasn't until this play that I really got to know him."

"Yeah, he's a really great guy. And you're a great girl. You'd look good together," He said sincerely but, for some reason, couldn't look you in the eye. You both sat in silence for a moment before Jisung cleared his throat. "Well, anyway, I'm going out to eat with the guys, um, do you wanna come?"

"I can't just intrude like that."

"You wouldn't be intruding, they all like you plus Changbin messaged me earlier to say Jeongin and Felix were invited and I know you are best friends with them. Look, I'll message the group chat and ask if you can come too just to make sure so you don't feel like you're intruding." You still looked hesitant. "Hyunjin will be there."

"Okay, I'll come." Jisung couldn't help feeling a little disappointed at how quickly you agreed at the mention of Hyunjin.

***

"What do you mean you've never watched it?"

"I just haven't!"

"We are literally performing the play and you haven't watched the 90s version?"

"Nope, never interested me before this."

"But a young Paul Rudd's in it."

"That's not a reason."

"I beg to differ." The other guys around the table laughed as you and Jisung bickered. Chan looked between the two of you with a strange look in his eye which didn't go unnoticed by Jisung but he decided to ignore it. "I'm going to force you to watch that film even if I have to tie you to a chair."

"He'd probably enjoy that," Minho piped up earning another wave of laughter while Jisung's eyes went wide in shock.

"Minho, you're disgusting," Jisung practically shouted.

"Jeez, Jisung, will you quieten down a little, you're gonna get us kicked out," Changbin said in between laughs.

"I hate you guys." He slumped down, putting on a dramatic pout.

"Aw, you love us really," Hyunjin threw an arm around him. "Isn't that right, Y/N?" Hyunjin smiled at you which you quickly returned.

"Of course it is." You leaned in on the other side of Jisung and pinched his cheeks teasingly. You missed the look Hyunjin sent Chan's way. Jisung swatted your hands away but a small smile graced his lips.

"Alright, alright, enough," He said with a soft laugh. "Let's order some food, I'm starving."

***

After you had all eaten the majority of you headed back to campus as most of you lived in the student accommodation, only Changbin and Bangchang broke off as they rented a place outside of the campus.

You reached the campus and the group started getting smaller and smaller as each person left for their own building. There were 3 student accomodation buildings, Seungmin and Lee Know left for the first one where they shared the room. Felix and Jeongin did the same thing when you reached the second building. That left you, Jisung, and Hyunjin to walk to the third building. Jisung had been so excited when he discovered that you lived in the same accommodation as him, even more so when he found out you were only on the floor above him. You were equally excited when he told you his roommate was Hyunjin.

"I'll walk you to your room."

"It's one floor, Ji, I'll be fine."

"Ugh, fine, don't say I never offer to do anything nice for you," He teases.

"See you later, Y/N," Hyunjin says with a smile as Jisung waves you goodbye, heading towards their room. You then make your way up to your own.

"Honey, I'm home," You joked as you walk through the door to find your roommate and friend, Lily sitting on the sofa watching a film.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yep, it was really nice to hang out with the guys."

"Next time invite me, I wanna ask Changbin for his number."

"First of all I wasn't originally invited, Jisung invited me, I don't know if a plus one can bring a plus one and secondly, just ask him he will 100% give you his number."

"You really think so?"

"I do."

"Alright, the next time I see him around I'll do it." You wish you were as brave as Lily and could just ask Hyunjin out like that but you knew if it went wrong rehearsals and the play would be awkward. You sighed, sitting down next to her on the couch.

"What are you watching?"

"Me Before You, I'm only five minutes in you wanna watch it with me?"

"Sure."

***

"Why did we decide to watch this?" You asked, tears streaming down your face, turning to your friend only to find her fast asleep. "Oh great, I get to cry about it alone." The movie was devasting, it truly broke your heart.

It's just a film, get yourself together, you told yourself. Once you had calmed down a little you headed to the bathroom to splash some water on your face to calm yourself down further. You had a love-hate relationship with sad films. They were masterpieces while at the same time the most soul-destroying, heart-crushing films ever.

You took a blanket from your room and placed it over Lily, not wanting to wake her before getting ready for bed. You were beginning to feel sleepy but the second your head hit the pillow you felt wide awake. You were awake for what felt like hours when you checked your phone to see the time. It was 1am, you knew you had to get up early but there was no way you were going to get to sleep anytime soon. You were too restless to sleep

You decided maybe some fresh air would do you some good so you slipped out of bed replacing your pajamas with a hoodie, sweatpants and some trainers. You quietly made your way out of your room, past Lily who was still fast asleep on the sofa, and out of the front door.

You reached the roof of your accommodation building to find someone was already up there. You recognised him instantly and silently moved towards him.

"Boo!" You shouted, grabbing his waist and making him jump. Jisung jumped and turned around to face you.

"Y/N, you gave me a heart attack, I thought I was about to get murdered!" He said clutching his chest and closing his eyes, trying to calm his racing heart. Not that it ever calmed that much whenever you were near him which he was beginning to find extremely strange.

"Oh, come on, it was a little funny." You said laughing. Your laughter died off as Jisung sighed.

"No, it wasn't."

"Was too."

"Was not." He said, but contradicting himself with a smile, opening his eyes to look at you.

"Was too." His smile dropped when he looked at you.

"Hey, are you alright? Have you been crying?" His hand reached out to rest on your shoulder.

"Crying?" You questioned. "Oh, yeah, don't worry about it, Lily and I were watching a sad movie earlier but she fell asleep leaving me to weep alone."

"Ugh, how dare she!" Jisung joked in a mocking voice.

"Exactly, how dare she. Anyway, why are you up at this time?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Just restless. Just thinking," You replied as you leaned on the railing of the roof. Jisung leaned next to you.

"About?"

Hyunjin.

"Just the play and stuff."

"Oh, right."

"Why aren't you sleeping?" You asked.

"Just thinking about stuff too."

"What stuff?"

You.

"Nothing in particular, just can't seem to shut my brain up."

"Ah, I see. You usually struggle to shut your mouth too."

"Hey, you're mean!" He said, his hand going to his chest again, over his heart.

"But honest," You reply, turning to him with a smile.

"Whatever, if you don't want my company I'll just leave," He said with a huff, turning to leave. You rolled your eyes with a smile grabbing his arm and pulling him back.

"Don't be silly, you know I like spending time with you." This earned you a smile from him.

"Well, how about we do something tomorrow? Maybe, uh, you know if you want to, you could show me Romeo and Juliet 'cause as I said earlier, I haven't seen it."

"Yeah, that sounds good. Is straight after rehearsals alright? We can walk back together and you can come over to mine. Lily will be at work so we can watch it without her pestering you for Changbin's number." He laughed at this a little.

"You have his phone number, why don't you just give it to her?"

"I don't know, I feel like we aren't close enough yet for me to just be giving out his number to anyone."

"You know he has a bit of a thing for your friend right?"

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Oh, I guess I will give it to her then. Look at us doing cupid's work and playing matchmaker." You nudged his shoulder with your own a little. He smiled softly at you.

"It's getting late and we need to sleep, we have rehearsals bright and early tomorrow," Jisung said, looking out at the view from the rooftop. You admired him for a moment before agreeing and you both turned to walk towards the door.

"Let's hope we can practice Juliet's death scene so I can just nap through it."

***

"Say something!" Jisung shouted at the TV screen as the two of you sat and watched Romeo an Juliet. He groaned as he watch Romeo drink the poison as Juliet, who was very clearly alive if only he looked down at her, watched him. "This film is so annoying! She could have stopped him!"

"Looks like someone is really invested."

"Juliet's an idiot!"

"Thanks," You replied dryly.

"Sorry but it's true."

"It's all pretty dumb when you think about it really though, they meet, fall in love, get married, and then die all in the space of about 5 days and on top of that, all this causes 4 more deaths, besides their own." Jisung looked at you for a minute, processing everything you just said.

"You're right but damn Shakespeare was talented to make such a stupid plot be that good."

"Yeah, I'll give him that."

When the end credits rolled you turned to the boy beside you with a smile.

"So, did you like it?" You asked him.

"I did, it was actually really good, I love how they still used the original script but the setting and stuff were modern, we so should have suggested doing a modernized version of it."

"Right? That would have been so cool. Plus I wanna see your version of Mercutio wearing a glittery bralette singing Young Hearts Run Free."

"Dream on," He laughed.

"Maybe I will," You teased.

"Are you flirting with me right now?" He replied, with a mischievous look on his face.

"Dream on," You replied, using his words from before.

"Oh, I see what this is. I'm practice, right? For Hyunjin."

"Shut up. No, I would never flirt with him, I'm too shy around him."

"True. Which is so dumb because I'm sure he would like you back if you just opened up to him a little."

"Felix said the same thing. But I've tried, I've made some progress, before I couldn't even make eye contact with him now I'm playing his love interest and actually talking to him."

"I'm sure it will happen. I just want you to be happy, Y/N."

"I want that for you too." You both sat there smiling at each other for a second. Jisung's eyes briefly flickered down to your lips. He'd hoped you wouldn't notice but you did. You felt a strange twist in your stomach. You continued gazing at each other for a moment longer before Jisung's phone pinged with a notification. He broke eye contact, clearing his throat slightly and reaching for his phone from his pocket.

"Speaking of Hyunjin, he just messaged me to see if I want some of the food he's made, do you wanna come too?"

"Ah, no, Lily will be back soon and I promised I would eat with her. You go ahead."

You walked him to the door, feeling a little disappointed he couldn't stay for longer.

"See you tomorrow."

"See you," You watched as he turned away from you and walked along the hallway before you shut your door. You thought back to your conversation about Hyunjin.

You realised that the entire time Jisung was with you, until he brought Hyunjin up, you hadn't even thought of him.

***

The months had flown by as the first performance of the play neared. Movie nights had become a weekly thing for you and Jisung, each week alternating between the two of you picking a film. As much as you were enjoying the rehearsals for the play, your movie nights were always the highlight of your week.

Speaking of the play, you were almost ready there was just one thing you needed to practice: the kisses.

You had practiced the scenes but every time it got up to the part where you and Hyunjin were meant to kiss you just awkwardly skipped over it and continue the scene. Hyunjin had spoken to you about it and you both agreed you would book a drama room and practice it.

You were a bundle of nerves as you worked your way through the first kiss scene. You had thought about kissing him millions of times and this would finally be it. You had dreamt of this moment. And yet, something felt off.

"Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged," Hyunjin said his line before leaning towards you. "Ready?" He asked quietly. You only nodded, looking into his eyes.

His lips met yours and they were soft. It was a good kiss. Gentle and sweet, enjoyable. But that was all. You felt nothing. You pulled away, feeling disappointed and annoyed. It wasn't him, you were certain, there was something wrong with you. All you had ever wanted was to be kissed by him and when it finally happened there was no butterflies, no fireworks. Not even a spark

"Was that alright?" He asked.

"Y-yeah, it was good," You replied with a small smile. He smiled back with a strange glint in his eye. "Um it's getting late and I've got plans with Jisung, it's our movie night. Why don't you practice the monologue you were talking about earlier that you said you wanted to practice?"

"Oh yeah, can't keep him waiting." He smiled again in a weird way but you couldn't understand it. "Do you want me to walk you back?"

"Oh, no, there's no need, it's not a long walk after all and there's no point you going back yet unless you are heading back to your place. You might as well use the room while nobody else is. See you later, Hyujin." He waved you goodbye as you quickly left.

When you finally arrived at your flat you found Jisung resting on your door, waiting for you. He heard the sound of your footsteps approaching and looked up from his phone.

"Hey."

"Hi, sorry I'm late, practice ran a bit late."

"No worries." You took your keys from your pocket to open your door, not noticing the way Jisung was studying your face.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked.

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever it is that's up with you. I know you, Y/N, I can see something's bothering you." You sighed, looking at the boy next to you. He had a delicate smile on his face. Had he always been that handsome?

"I'll tell you inside." The two of you made your way through the door once you had unlocked it. You threw your bag on the counter before heading to the sofa and dropping down on it with a sigh. Jisung sat down next to you.

"So?" He asked you.

"We practiced the kiss." You weren't looking at him and he was grateful because he was certain you would have seen the way he frowned.

"And?"

"And it was good but I felt nothing. I think it's my fault though because I was just so nervous and in my head about it all that it was probably awkward. I've liked the guy for what feels like forever and I blew it because I was too scared to properly kiss him."

"So, you need to gain some confidence to kiss him properly then you think it will feel right?"

"I think so but I'm not sure how to gain confidence, I haven't kissed anybody before today in ages." That was when an idea sprang to your head. It was stupid you knew it. But it might just work, you told yourself. You turned to Jisung.

"I've got an idea. It's dumb and you can totally say no but what if we kissed?"

"What?!" His eyes widened.

"Like, just to practice so I can gain some confidence and then next time I kiss Hyunjin I'll be able to kiss him back and not just stand there awkwardly. Actually, it's stupid, sorry, I shouldn't have sugges-"

"Okay."

"What?"

"I'll do it. I'll kiss you. It doesn't mean anything anyway, right?" Jisung tried to ignore the way his heart dropped as those words left his lips. "If it'll help you, I'll do it."

"Wait, seriously?"

"Yep."

"Okay, alright." You both turned to face each other. Gently, he placed his hands on your arms, leaning in. He was hesitant, but the way his eyes flickered between your own and your lips made your heartbeat begin to race.

Your lips finally met his and your breathing hitched in your throat. You brought a hand up to cup his face, softly stroking your thumb over his cheek. His kiss was delicate but full of passion, his lips fit perfectly with your own as you kissed him back. A kaleidoscope of butterflies erupted in your stomach. This felt right. This is what it was meant to feel like when you kissed someone.

You both pulled away, gasping for air, with flushed cheeks and soft smiles. You remained close, your hand still cupping his face.

"That was really good, thank you." Jisung suddenly became aware of what had just happened. He pulled away, out of your reach.

"Yeah, no problem," He replied, trying to act nonchalant. He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's my turn to pick the film right?" He asked as he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. Your heart dropped at his dismissal of the moment you thought you had both shared.

"Yeah," You said quietly, turning to look at the TV as he picked a film. You weren't really sure of what he picked because the entire time you were watching your mind was elsewhere thinking about the fact that you and he had just kissed. You turned to look at him, his eyes fixed on the TV screen. Your hand came up to your mouth, replaying the kiss again and again.

That was what it was meant to feel like when you kissed someone. And you knew it.

***

Jisung regretted the kiss the second the two of you had pulled away from each other. Not that he hadn't enjoyed it. He certainly had. He had been waiting for ages to finally kiss you but he wished that the first time he kissed you would have been when you felt the same way that he did. Not as a practice to help you kiss his roommate, who you had liked for years.

The kiss had plagued his thoughts since then. It was now three weeks later and it was the final dress rehearsal before the first show.

It was the first scene where you and Hyunjin kissed. Jisung hadn't seen the kiss before as the two of you would avoid it but now he knew that you had been practicing it. He watched as your eyes flickered from Hyunjin's eyes to his lips when the two of you leaned in and your lips met a wave of jealousy washed over him. He tried to maintain a calm disposition but inside he wanted to scream.

Why him? Why not me? He wanted to ask you.

But he knew he wouldn't, for your sake. He wanted you to be happy. Even if that meant he had to watch you be with his best friend. He watched as you kissed Hyunjin. The kiss looked perfect.

But it wasn't. You could pretend there was love in that kiss, but it was just acting. You knew deep down that nothing could recreate the emotions you felt when you kissed Jisung.

You tried to imagine him instead of Hyunjin but your mind was not strong enough to fake that kind of emotion. Sure the kiss was good but it wasn't like the kiss you shared with Jisung.

As the scene ended, you wanted to cry. Everything was all messed up. You knew Jisung didn't feel that way about you. Hell, you had only just figured out you felt that way about him. He was helping you out in your pursuit of Hyunjin. He had no idea that you had in fact fallen for him a long time ago, it had just taken you a while to notice.

You wished it had been him from the beginning because the way you felt about him was different from the crush you had had on Hyunjin. That had been you, admiring from afar. This was so much more. You wished the kiss you shared with Jisung had meant something to him, because it meant a lot to you.

When you pulled away from Hyunjin, you looked over his shoulder, at Jisung in the wings. He had a soft smile on his face. He wanted to show he was happy for you, hoping you wouldn't take notice that the smile never reached his eyes.

You exited the stage at the end of the scene, coming face to face with Jisung.

"The kiss looked great," He said, avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah?" You asked rather sadly.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Jisung, I-"

"I'm on in the next scene so I better get ready to go on."

"Oh, right." You smiled softly, stepping aside.

You watched as he stepped out on the stage and performed. He really did have a natural talent for it. When the scene concluded he left the stage via the opposite wings. You were so busy watching as he walked away that you almost missed your cue. Luckily, Bangchan had been there to push you out on stage.

"Stop staring at Jisung and get on stage." He lightly nudged you, his words leaving you a flustered mess as you quickly composed yourself for the scene.

***

When the dress rehearsal was finished, you quickly packed your bag ready to leave.

"Hey, we're going to grab a coffee, you wanna come?" Felix asked you.

"No, thanks for the offer though. I'm really tired and just wanna get home but I'll see you tomorrow at the library, 11am."

"Yep, alright, we'll see you later," Jeongin said as he and Felix waved you goodbye.

You were about to leave when Hyunjin approached you.

"You were really great today, the show is gonna be perfect."

"You did a really good job too, Hyunjin." You noticed your sudden ease around the boy. Usually, you would become all flustered and your heart would be racing a mile a minute. Guess you really were over him.

You didn't see Hyunjin's glance at Jisung on the other side of the room, who was standing looking at the two of you sadly.

"So, what's going on with you and Jisung?"

"What? Nothing."

"Well, in that case, maybe after the first performance I could take you out on a date." A couple of months ago these words from Hyunjin probably would've made you faint. It had been all you ever wanted. But when you thought about the idea of going on a date with someone, the person you imagined wasn't Hyunjin, it was Jisung.

"Hyunjin, I'm flattered, really, I am. You know I used to like you, a lot, and I still think you're a really great guy but I just don't feel that way anymore, I'm sorry," You said to him, apologetically. He looked at you with a smirk.

"I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"You like Jisung."

"Well-"

"Oh my god, you don't just like him, you love him."

"Ah, don't say it out loud." Your hand came up to his mouth covering it. Across the room, Jisung watched the interaction between you and his best friend. His hand tightened around the strap of his bag as he felt jealousy swirling in the pit of his stomach.

"I knew you had feelings for him, I just had to get you to admit it," Hyunjin said more quietly now, as you removed your hand from his mouth, revealing his smile.

"Alright, I do love him, but it doesn't matter, nothing is ever going to happen between us. He still thinks I like you and is clearly not bothered by that."

"Y/N, are you blind? Is the way he is looking at us right now not a dead giveaway." You couldn't stop yourself from turning your head to look in Jisung's direction. He quickly looked away, glancing at anything other than you before heading towards the door and leaving the room.

"There goes your chance to tell him today, it's alright, you can try again tomorrow."

"I will not be telling him anything."

"Yes, you will."

"No, I will not. At least not yet anyway."

"Come on, Y/N. Just tell him because I don't know how long I can keep quiet about this."

"Give me until the last show."

"Alright, deal but if you don't tell him, I will."

"This is peer pressure!"

"It's for your own benefit."

"Hyunjin, you're so annoying."

"I may be annoying but I make one hell of a matchmaker."

"Alright, I'm leaving now."

"See you later, I'm gonna go find Chan and tell him you finally admitted your feelings."

"Chan knows about my feelings?"

"We've been talking about you and Jisung for months. We knew about your feelings before even you did."

***

"You kissed him?!" Jeongin said, in shock.

"Yes, but it wasn't like that. It didn't mean anything, not to him at least. He agreed to help me practice for my kiss scenes with Hyunjin." You explained as you and your two best friends left the library. You had been studying together for a few hours but were tired now and wanted to go to a cafe to relax for a little while instead.

"Okay, first of all, do you really think he agreed to kiss you just for practice? I highly doubt that, the guy is obviously smitten with you. And second of all why didn't you tell us any of this earlier?" Felix asked.

"I don't know, I had to find the right time. I didn't want to tell you at rehearsals. Honestly, I would've kept it to myself but I wanted to get it off my chest to someone, especially after Hyunjin made me admit it to him."

"Hyunjin knew before us?!" Jeongin said.

"Will you keep your voice down? This is why I couldn't tell the two of you at rehearsal, he can't keep quiet, I didn't want Jisung overhearing our conversation about him." You pointed accusingly at Jeongin.

"You know what, I knew something was up with you two." Felix smiled at you.

"Nothing is up with us. He doesn't feel that way. I won't be telling him. Hyunjin is trying to get me to confess but I'll find a way to keep him quiet."

"Find a way to keep him quiet? Jesus, you're gonna have to murder him, Y/N."

"If I must."

"You scare me sometimes." Jeongin looked at you with a concerned expression.

"I agree with Hyunjin. You should tell him, what could go wrong?" Felix asked.

"Are you insane? I ruin everything with him? I lay my heart out for him and he tears it to shreds?"

"Jisung's a nice guy, he wouldn't do that."

"Fine but he could still reject me and break my heart regardless of how softly he let me down."

"I think he feels the same way for you," Jeongin states simply.

"Yeah, well I don't."

"He's definitely in love with you, he can't seem to keep his eyes off of you in rehearsal."

"You're imaging things, Felix."

"You think I wouldn't notice when some guy is ogling my best friend?"

"Shut up, he does not love me."

***

Pretending things were fine between you and Jisung proved harder said than done. After realising your feelings for him you felt a lot shyer around him. But he still seemed to be his usual bubbly, chatty self. You would never know Jisung's struggle to maintain this facade.

"You nervous about the first show tomorrow?" He asked you as he sat down on the sofa next to you with a bowl of popcorn. You were over at his apartment as Lily had asked if she could have the apartment for a few hours. She and Changbin had gone on a few dates recently and she wanted to have her own movie night with him, but you knew from her tone, that they probably wouldn't end up watching whatever movie they picked. You didn't really fancy sticking around to find out. Instead, you asked Jisung and Hyunjin if you could crash at their place to which they agreed. Hyunjin was in his room, while you and Jisung had decided to watch a movie together.

"Yeah, a little," You replied. It was true you were anxious about it but right now you were more nervous at the close proximity between you and Jisung. Your heart fluttered as his leg nudged yours. "What about you?"

"Really nervous but excited as well."

"We'll be fine. The entire cast and crew have worked so hard for this, it'll be okay."

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll be great." He smiled at you before clearing his throat and turning his attention back to the TV. "Anyway, what do you wanna watch tonight?"

"I thought it was your turn to pick?"

"It is but I'm feeling nice."

"Alright, how about 10 Things I Hate About You?"

"Yeah, we can watch that before, I've never seen it."

"What? First Romeo and Juliet and now this? How have you never seen it before? It's so good, it's one of my favourite films of all time. It's fitting actually because it's based on the Shakespeare play The Taming of the Shrew. And there's this one scene where the male sings for the female lead in front of everyone. Oh and the poem scene near the end makes my heart ache every time. And I'm rambling and spoiling it for you, I'm sorry." Jisung doubted that he could keep the look of affection from his face and at that moment he didn't care. He loved the way you rambled on about things you liked, he found it the most adorable thing ever.

"No it's alright, I think it's cute." You felt your cheeks up at his words, noticing how close his face was to yours. You could just lean in and kiss him.

Just lean in, your heart told you, but your brain kept you from doing something so stupid.

"Well, yeah, my point is it's really good but if you want to watch something else we can, it is meant to be your night to pick."

"We'll watch that, it does sound good."

***

You weren't even halfway through the film when you felt yourself grow tired and felt yourself drifting off. You hadn't been sleeping too well, thoughts and worries about Jisung keeping you up late at night. Even your dreams were filled with images of the boy beside you. Dreams where he cruelly broke your heart. You knew he wouldn't do that to you but it still hurt.

Jisung's body stiffened when he felt your head fall to his shoulder. He heard your steady breathing before realising you were asleep and relaxed a little, adjusting the blanket the two of you were sharing.

He continued to watch the movie, trying not to move too much so as to not wake you. You had been right about the movie, it really was great. He liked the scenes you had mentioned. He imagined himself serenading you with a marching band. Maybe one day he would sing to you one of the songs he had written about you. He would do it in a heartbeat if he was certain that you loved him too. Because it was love. It had taken him a long time to come to terms with the fact that like had turned into love. It, of course, hurt him to know you liked his best friend but he wouldn't change his feelings, even if he could. He quite liked the fall. Loved the way it felt to love you.

When the movie had finished you were still fast asleep. Jisung carefully maneuvered his way off of the sofa laying you down gently. He crouched beside you, looking at your peaceful face. It was the first time he had seen you look so peaceful in the last few days.

He had noticed something was up with you but when he asked you just dismissed him He hadn't wanted to pry so decided would wait until you came to talk to him first about it. He gently stroked your cheek and sighed. What was he going to do? He felt so helplessly in love with you. He knew was drowning but instead of saving himself, he was diving deeper and deeper.

He didn't want to leave you to sleep on his sofa so instead he gently picked you up in his arms and carried you to his bedroom, laying you down on his bed. He pulled the covers over you as you began to stir.

"Jisung?" You asked.

"It's alright, Y/N, you fell asleep so I carried you to my bed. I'll sleep on the sofa," He whispered softly. He turned to leave when he felt your hand grab his. He turned back to look at you.

"Please stay." Your eyes looked into his with a sense of pleading.

"Okay." You let go of his hand and he moved to the other side of the bed. He got under the covers, keeping a safe distance from you. But you turned onto your side to face him and moved closer. He turned to look at you. He wanted to reach out and touch you, kiss you, but he knew better. So instead he settled for admiring your features, his eyes tracing your soft smile and bright eyes.

"Goodnight, Jisung," You whispered, shutting your eyes.

"Goodnight, Y/N," He whispered back.

***

Jisung was the first to wake in the morning. The two of you had somehow moved even closer in your sleep. He wanted to start every day like this.

He knew you both needed to get ready for school but when he checked his phone there was still plenty of time so he decided to let you sleep for a little longer. He carefully moved away from you, getting out of bed. In the kitchen he found Hyunjin making himself some breakfast.

"Good morning."

"Morning Jisung, Y/N still asleep?"

"Yep. I'll wake her up in a bit but I can tell she's been really tired recently so I'll let her rest for now." He sat down at the breakfast table after getting some cereal for himself.

"That's so sweet of you, you guys are such a cute couple."

"It's not like that, Hyunjin."

"Not yet. But I have a good feeling about you two."

"Trust me, it'll never happen."

"Why? Because of her feelings for me." Jisung's head whipped up to look at Hyunjin.

"You know? If you know why not let her down easy instead of toying around with her? I swear to God if you hurt her, I-," He began to raise his voice. Hyunjin rolled his eyes.

"I thought you were smarter than that. I'm not playing around with her, I know that she used to have feelings for me, as in past tense."

"How do you know for certain she doesn't still like you?" He asked skeptically.

"Haven't you noticed her change in attitude toward me? She isn't as shy anymore. Besides I had my own theories about her feelings so I decided to put it to the test so I asked her out."

"You what?!"

"I asked her out. And guess what? She said no because she likes someone else and, well, I know who I'm putting my money on." Hyunjin had promised not to tell Jisung about your feelings for him but he wasn't telling Jisung that it was definitely him, he was just hinting, right? He was only trying to help. Watching you too pine after each other was becoming pretty unbearable.

"You think it's me? Yeah, right."

"Look, all I know is you were the one spooning with her all night, not anybody else."

"We weren't spooning!"

***

The first show went incredibly smoothly, of course, there was the usual stress of making sure you remember lines and cues, costume changes, etc but nothing went wrong. Jisung had managed to busy himself with neatening up his costume or being in his dressing room listening to the dialogue over the speakers during the kissing scenes. When it was time to gather on stage and do the final bow you stood next to Hyunjin and Jisung. Jisung was sure the whole audience could hear his heartbeat when you took his hand. You were sure the audience would notice how you were hesitant to pull your hand away from Jisung's. Part of you hoped he would notice too.

The curtain began to close as the cast celebrated and the audience continued to cheer. You turned to Jisung and threw your arms around him pulling him into an embrace. His own arms slid around your waist and you couldn't help but think that this felt right. Holding him like this.

After every show, this routine continued. When the final show came around you were feeling sad and scared. You feared now that the show was over you wouldn't see everyone you had grown close with as much anymore. Mostly, you feared you and Jisung would grow apart.

The curtain finally closed as the atmosphere on stage was still buzzing with energy. You smiled at Jisung who still had his arms around your waist from the hug the two of you once again shared.

"You did amazing!"

"Thank you, but you were just perfect, absolutely incredible." His words made you smile. You leaned forward and kissed his cheek, causing him to blush.

"Thank you." You looked into his eyes and everyone else on the stage seemed to disappear. You could have sworn he was leaning in but he stopped himself. You both pulled away a little awkwardly.

"So, uh-"

"Hey, you two are you coming to Chan's party tonight?" Hyunjin asked, seeming to appear out of nowhere.

"Yeah, I just need to go home and get changed."

"Okay, cool, I brought something to wear so I'm gonna head straight there and help set up. What about you, Jisung?"

"Yeah, I'm coming too but I'll go home with Y/N first, I forgot to bring something to change into as well." His mind flashed to the outfit he had carefully picked out last night and had in fact put in his bag. He just wanted an excuse to walk you home.

"Cool, I'll see you both there," Hyunjin said, before turning away from you both.

"See you," You and Jisung called after him, both replying in unison.

***

Your phone pinged while you were finishing up your makeup and you opened it to see a message from Hyunjin.

Hyunjin: Don't forget the deadline.

Y/N: What are you talking about?

Hyunjin: Your confession

Y/N: You were being serious about that?!

Hyunjin: Of course I was, you should do it tonight, at the party

Y/N: Okay fine, only because I really wanted to say something today after the final bow

You were interrupted by Jisung knocking on your door, ready to take you to the party. You quickly message Hyunjin to tell him Jisung was here before heading toward the door.

You had picked a nice dress, nothing too fancy but it looked amazing on you. As you opened the door, Jisung stared in awe.

"Wow." He blushed, realising he had said this out loud. "Sorry, I uh...you just look...wow."

"Thanks, Ji, you're looking pretty good yourself." And he was. But, to be quite frank, Jisung could be wearing a plastic bag and you'd still think he was hot.

"Ready to go?"

"Yep, come on." You locked your door, before taking his arm.

The walk from your accommodation to Changbin and Chan's apartment was only ten minutes long but it felt like time froze when you were with Jisung. You kept stealing glances at him as Hyunjin's messages on your phone kept popping up in your head.

"Jisung I..." You trailed off as he looked at you with those gorgeous eyes.

"What is it?" He asked softly. For him, the question was more of a plead for you to say the one thing he so desperately wanted you to say: I love you.

"Jisung, I..." Your mind flashed back to the nightmares you had been having about being rejected by him. In the dreams he was cruel, nothing like Jisung you knew. But just because he was kind didn't mean he wouldn't reject you. And it certainly didn't mean it wouldn't hurt all the same, even if he was nice about it. You couldn't confess what you really wanted to say so you confessed the next best thing. "I don't want us to stop being friends now that the show is over." It was bittersweet for Jisung. He was happy you didn't want to lose him but he wanted more than just friends.

"Of course, we'll still be friends, you can't get rid of me that easily." He smiled at you.

"Good. I don't wanna be rid of you anytime soon."

***

You had lost Jisung somewhere in the crowd of people.

The two of you had been dancing with Jeongin and Felix when Jeongin started to feel sick. You and Felix helped him to the bathroom. He never was a good drinker and you made a mental note to remind him of this tomorrow, as you gently patted his back as he was sick. Felix beside you was trying to be a supportive friend but you could see the way he was grimacing so you asked him to fetch a glass of water from the kitchen. When Jeongin was feeling a little better you both helped him up.

"I'll take him home, you stay here, go have fun."

"But-"

"No buts, go have fun with Jisung."

"Fine but text me if you need anything and message me when you both get home safe."

"I will, see you later."

Once they were out the door you turned back to the crowds of people. You wanted to find Jisung sooner rather than later because, honestly, he was almost as bad as Jeongin when it came to drinking. You were pretty tipsy but not drunk yet, Jisung on the other hand was one shot away from passing out the last time you saw him. You had been searching for what felt like forever when your phone pinged. You had hoped it was Jisung but it was Felix telling you himself and Jeongin were home safe.

"Well, two home safe, one to find," You murmured to yourself, continuing your search.

Struggling to find him because of the sheer mass of people, you headed to the kitchen to get yourself a drink instead when you met Hyunjin.

"Have you told him yet?"

"I tried to but I couldn't do it and now he's too drunk and I've lost him in the crowd of people. But please don't tell him, I promise I will tell him, eventually."

"Fine, I won't tell him, but I'm rooting for you."

"Y/N, I found you! My favourite person in the entire world!" Jisung had stumbled into the kitchen looking for you. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling your back into his chest in a hug. He rested his chin on your shoulder, his warm, flushed cheek against yours.

"Speak of the devil," Hyunjin said with a smile.

"Oh, Hyunjin, you're here too." Jisung pulled away from you but came to stand next to you with an arm around your shoulder. "Sorry, was I interrupting something? I know you like him, Y/N," He whispered to you.

You don't know anything, Ji.

"Yeah we were just talking about you actually. But anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go dance, leave you two be." He winked at you before moving away.

You turned to look at the boy beside you. He had a silly grin on his face as he engulfed you in another hug.

"You're drunk, come on, I'm taking you home, you've had enough." You were the only thing keeping him upright so you wrapped an arm around his waist and wrapped his around your shoulder before helping him out of the apartment. The 10-minute walk must have taken at least 30 with you practically having to drag Jisung.

"Where are your keys?" You held out your free hand that wasn't supporting Jisung.

"Not telling." He said with a giggle.

"I'll leave you out here in the corridor."

"You're mean," He said but reached into his pocket, pulling out his keys and handing them to you.

Once you had got him inside you managed to get him to his bedroom. You took his shoes and jacket off but knew it would be too much of a struggle to get him changed.

"I'll get you some water, stay here." He nodded, lying his head down. You quickly got a glass of water for him before returning to his room, pacing it on the cabinet beside his bed. "Here, now get some sleep, message me if you need anything. Goodnight, Ji."

"Please stay."

You smiled slightly.

"Deja vu," You said, thinking back to the time you had asked him to do the same thing. "Alright." You took off your own shoes and jacket before slipping into the bed, next to him. There were a few minutes of comfortable silence, you thought perhaps he had fallen asleep. You reached out and gently stroked his hair. Jisung's eyes remained closed but he spoke up.

"Why him?" He asked.

"What?"

"Why Hyunjin? Why can't you love me? Because I love you." Your breathing hitched in your throat.

"Jisung, you're drunk."

"Yes, I'm drunk, but that doesn't mean I can't be honest." You stayed silent for a moment. Do you confess? Do you tell him how you really feel? But what if he woke up in the morning and told you he never meant it, he was just drunk?

"Can't you kiss me? Just once. Not as practice for a play or to make kissing someone else feel better but as a real kiss. A kiss from a girl to a boy who's totally and utterly head over heels for her." And in that moment, you wanted to kiss him. More than anything. You cupped his face but didn't kiss him. You leaned your forehead against Jisung's.

"I don't like Hyunjin anymore," You whispered in the dark. "And I can't kiss you, not properly, it would be wrong of me because of how drunk you are right now." You laughed, thinking about how drunk he really was.

"But for now, I hope this will do." You leaned up and gave him a soft kiss on his forehead. "If you remember this, and mean what you say, Ji, tell me you love me again." He hummed in agreement as sleep overtook him. You sighed, looking at his peaceful face before finally closing your eyes.

***

You were the first to wake the next day. You smiled remembering last night and hoped that Jisung would remember too. It wasn't long after that Jisung began to stir.

"Good morning." He smiled at you as he stretched out.

"Morning, how are you feeling?"

"Everything's fuzzy." You laughed lightly.

"Have fun last night?"

"I'm assuming so and, by the looks of things, I'm guessing you had to help me home." Your smile faltered. Of course, he wouldn't remember. He probably didn't even mean it, you thought to yourself.

"You can't remember?" Jisung picked up on your sad tone.

"I remember playing beer pong with Changbin but everything's hazy after that. Why, did something bad happen?" You ignored his question, moving away from him.

"I've got to go," You said, quickly getting up and reaching for your shoes and jacket.

"What is it? What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up and watching as you frantically pulled on your jacket.

"Nothing's wrong, I've just got to go."

"Did I do something last night? Please, Y/N, tell me. Did something happen?"

"No... nothing happened. It was nothing." You quickly hurried out of the room as Jisung scrambled to get out of bed.

"Morning Y/N-Oookay," Hyunjin, who was sitting in the living room, said as you raced past him and out of the door without a word.

"Y/N!" Jisung called after you, rushing out of his room. He turned to look at Hyunjin. "What did I do last night? I can't remember but Y/N is upset about something."

"I don't know, but I'm sure it'll come back to you then you can sort out whatever is going on."

What am I not remembering?

***

All week you had been avoiding Jisung and he knew it. Other than the few classes you shared, he never saw you. Even in these classes, your conversations were short and awkward. If he asked you to hang out you would always apologise and say you already had plans. You even canceled your movie night that week saying you had to study for a quiz in one of your classes.

It was hurting Jisung and he became irritable, snapping at his friends.

"I'm not the one avoiding you, no need to snap at me!" Hyunjin said. "She's literally on the floor above, just go up there and ask her why she's avoiding you."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

Because I just can't." Hyunjin groaned.

"Whatever, I'm going to bed, I don't wanna deal with your grumpy ass right now."

Jisung turned back around to face the TV to watch the film he had put on. Alone. He had put on 10 Things I Hate About You again, thinking back to how cute you were when talking about it. But as he watched he found he couldn't focus and grew bored. It wasn't right without you. He turned it off before dragging himself to the bathroom hoping a nice shower would clear his mind. But it didn't. Eventually, he made his way to bed. He lay in the darkness, looking up at the ceiling, trying to think of something, anything, he could have done that had made you avoid him. He turned on his side looking at the side of the bed you had once laid on.

"What am I not remembering?" He asked himself, out loud.

He closed his eyes, trying to focus. A hazy image of you helping him home and into bed cleared in his mind. His words echoed in his head. Please stay.

He reached up and touched his hair as he remember you doing the same that night. But try as he might to remember more, he had exhausted his brain and he was beginning to get a headache. He sighed in defeat as he could remember no more, deciding to sleep instead.

***

You were in his dreams. There were words of love whispered in the dark and forehead kisses. Jisung sat up suddenly. He thought at first it was just a dream but it felt too familiar, too real.

He jumped out of bed and threw on the first pair of shoes he could find, running out the door and along the corridor. He just prayed that nobody was planning on attempting to break into his and Hyunjin's apartment that night because they would be greeted by an unlocked door. He raced up the stairs, running two at a time before he finally came face to face with your door. He frantically knocked. He heard shuffling inside.

"Who is it? I'll ring the police, I swear to god."

"Y/N, it's me?" He heard the door being unlocked.

"Jisung? What the hell are you doing here, it's like 4 in the morning?"

"I'm sorry but I really need to talk to you."

"Look-"

"No, please, it's important. Please, don't push me away," He pleaded with you.

"Fine, but be quiet, Lily's sleeping.," You sighed, allowing him into your apartment. You locked the front door and led him to your room, shutting the door. You sat down on your bed as he stood awkwardly fidgeting with his hands.

"What's up?"

"You've been avoiding me. It's been bugging me because I knew that something was wrong and it was to do with the party but I just couldn't remember. I was able to piece together small interactions last night before bed, like me asking you to stay but I just couldn't remember everything."

"Ji-"

"Please, just let me finish," He said as he sat down next to you on the bed, looking straight into your eyes. "But then I fell asleep and I had a dream but it wasn't just a dream it felt so familiar. I'm hoping it's not my mind messing with me but that night you asked me to repeat my words if I remembered that moment and truly felt that way. Well, guess what? I remembered. So I just came over to tell you, I love you, Y/N." You stared at him with a shocked expression. The hopeful glint in his eyes began to fade as you sat there, not saying a word. You felt the tears start streaming down your cheeks.

"Y/N, are you alright? I'm sorry. Shit, did I remember wrong? Oh god, and I just confessed."

"No, you remember everything just right. You did as I asked." You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him. After a moment of shock, he hesitantly placed his own arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"Does this mean you feel the same way?"

"I do, I love you, Ji, of course, I love you. I think I have since that first day when you sat next to me at the script read." You pulled back slightly to look at him. He smiled at you, brushing away your tears. "And the night of the party, when we were talking about the kiss, I wanted so badly to tell you that the kiss wasn't nothing, it was what made me realise I loved you. I was just scared to tell you in case you woke up and said it was just the alcohol talking." He smiled brightly at you again.

"I can't tell you how happy you've just made me. Does this mean I can take you out sometime?"

"Of course, you can." You leaned in to hug him again.

"Hey, Y/N?" You pulled back to look at him. "How about that kiss now?"

"Oh, you mean this one?" You kissed his forehead and looked back at him. He rolled his eyes playfully as you giggled lightly.

"Haha, very funny." Your soft laughter died away as you just looked at him. Admired the way the light from the moon landed on his skin, the way his eyes sparkled as he looked at you, the way his lips look just too kissable. Your hand cupped his cheek. "Come here," He whispered, barely audible, as he pulled you onto his lap. You leaned in to meet his lips.

And as you kissed him you thought back to everything that had happened in the past few months and just how lucky you were to have been cast in the play. As you kissed him the whole world faded away and you were just a girl kissing a boy who was totally and utterly head over heels for her.

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