#you've been one of my biggest inspirations ever since i first made this blog

[davidmariottecomics]

Copyrights and Wrongs, Part 1

Hello there! 

Feels like it's been a bit since we last spoke, and I'm sorry for that. Two weekends ago, Becca and I were out of town (I'll share a little bit of that later) and then last weekend, I was just dealing with being really depressed and uninspired and I didn't want to just not write my blog, I didn't really want to do anything. I'm doing a bit better and am about to have a lot to talk about, probably for a few weeks (at least 2-3), so buckle up and get ready! This blog's a special one because appropriate for the time of year, it has HOMEWORK!!!

Also, as a head's up, this first part's going to be a bit shorter as Becca is at Cartoon-a Palooza starting this afternoon! More on that below too! 

What is Copyright? 

Copyright is both exactly what the name says and a much deeper, more complex thing. In a nutshell, it is the right to copy a creation. If you draw a piece of art, if you write a poem, if you design a machine or a building, if you compose music for a song, if you write a blog even (hehe!), under U.S. law, you are the owner of that work and other people can't use it without your permission. 

In more concrete terms, copyright is a form of intellectual property law that defines ownership and use of art under some pretty specific terms. The three biggest ones being: originality, creativity, and fixation. Originality asks if a work is original and unique. What that means is if you and your friend see a cool dog, and you both draw a picture of it, as long as your friend didn't just copy your exact picture, you both now have an original piece of work. Maybe the most commonly thought of example against originality is plagarism, where someone takes another person's written work and tries to pass it off as their own. Creativity is maybe the most nebulous term involved in determining copyright and often overlaps against originality, but should broadly be thought of as the work's intent and execution. Let's say you put together a Pintrest board of inspiration. It isn't meant to be a unique creation or piece of art unto itself, it's just a bit of reference. But if you printed all of the images from that Pintrest board out and collaged them into a piece of art, that would qualify as a creative effort. Finally, fixation refers to whether or not you actually made the thing in a trackable way. If I sing my cats a silly little song to announce their breakfast, but I never write that song down and it isn't ever recorded, it isn't fixed and there isn't proof that you've made the thing. However, if I shoot a TikTok of me singing that song to my cats, hey, I've got that record and I'm set. 

That's a very basic overview and, like I said, copyright is complicated. Being a set of laws revolving around ownership in a capitalist system, there're whole sections of the legal industry dedicated to arguing out and testing and defining the limits of copyright. The other really basic stuff you need to understand about copyright for the rest of this conversation are what you can do as a copyright holder, how long copyright lasts, and what "fair use" is.

Here it is from the horse's mouth--the U.S. Copyright office--but the rights a copyright holder has come down to reproduction, continuation, and distribution. You can make more of your work, either through copies or by creating more new work covered in part by your initial creation, and you can display it or sell it or perform it or otherwise make it available. As part of sale, you can also sell the copyright itself--transferring the ownership to someone else. A lot of comics is done with this step happening before the work is started as "work for hire." This basically says that if you're creating an image for a company that owns the copyright to, say, a character like Batman or property like Transformers, you understand that their copyright to the initial work of art supersedes that of the work you now produce for them, and in exchange, they're going to pay you for your creation and any rights that might otherwise be claimable with it. Not to say it too many times, but it's a complicated system and one that has a lot of very reasonable and righteous criticism lobbed at it. There's often a bit of a rub between copyright as protecting creators and copyright as protecting companies.  

Companies, for example, famously have been responsible for the expansion of copyright after the death of the author. Current U.S. law dictates copyright for modern creation lasts until the death of the author, plus 70 years. After that, works enter what we call the public domain (more on that in a sec). But just to really put that into perspective: Stephen King is still alive! And there is a distinct chance that his books won't be available until the 2100s under current copyright law. Or, rather, most of his books. If I did my math right, I believe Carrie will be available in 2069 because it actually pre-dates the current code! And this is further complicated by various other things--like work-for-hire creations and anonymous creations have different term limits, and we're reaching an interesting point where some original works are becoming public domain, but their derivative works are still copyrighted (like, say, Mickey Mouse. Steamboat Willie, the first Mickey short, will hit the public domain in 2024, but ALL OTHER MICKEY STUFF will still be under Disney). 

Which brings us back to public domain and fair use. To briefly tackle public domain first, it is the idea that after a copyright expires, that work is available to anyone to use as they please! You wanna tell a Dracula story? Do it! You wanna stage a Shakespeare play or adapt it into another medium? Do it! You wanna turn the Odyssey into a rock opera? Do it! Public domain says no rules, just right! Do it! It's a good idea to check what is in the public domain (Wikipedia linked as a starter) at any given point, just to see what may be available to you. This is going to be important in coming weeks. But everything in the public domain is fair use.

As are certain other things--if you're an Adobe subscriber and use photoshop, the software is copyrighted, but you've got fair use to use it, if you see a movie, the movie is copyrighted, but you've paid your money and have fair use to view it. There are certain limitations for research, education, and transformational uses too. I can't get into all the specifics, because they're varied and incredibly nuanced, but as a few examples: if Mad Magazine does a parody of X-Men called "Ecch-Men" or whatever (a thing they've definitely done), that's fair use--it's understood to be parody/satire and not the original work. If a textbook is publishing a historically significant photo, that may be under fair use. Posting a quote from a book on social media and in a locker room with or without proper attribution may be fair use (this is a real example). 

Okay, that's a lot to take in and we haven't even gotten to stuff like trademark, patent, or infringement. But hopefully that's enough of a primer that you'll feel confident in the coming weeks of conversation. 

Homework Time 

Toldja there'd be homework! So here's what we're going to be talking about over the next few weeks that you might wanna get yourself primed on too! 

First off - The Copyright office is conducting a study on generative AI and taking into account public opinion and information on it related specifically to copyright. Public comments are open until October 18th. I already submitted one--that I may reproduce in part or in full here--but if you are (rightfully) concerned about "A.I." as it currently exists and the many ways in which it is already violating copyright law, definitely take the time to share a comment! 

Secondly - You may've seen the news in the past 24 hours that Bill Willingham is releasing Fables into the public domain. I'm linking to the A.V. Club's article because well... you all know how I feel about Substack (and you may know how I feel about Willingham himself, which is to say, he sucks!). Next week, this'll be our first topic of discussion to see what that actually means. And please remember, I'm not an expert in copyright law, but I do wanna discuss it! 

Finally - No homework on this one, but the other thing we'll be talking about is digging a little bit deeper into work for hire and the complicated relationship between comics, artists, and licensed and unlicensed works. 

See ya next week! 

What I enjoyed this week(s): Blank Check (Podcast), Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), Craig of the Creek (Cartoon), Honkai Star Rail (Video game), One Piece (Manga), One Piece (Live Action--I know there are some strong feelings on this take, but maybe we'll talk about that in a future blog), Birds of Prey #1 (Thompson, Romero, Bellaire - Comic), Blue Beetle #1 (Trujillo, Gutierrez, Quintanta - Comic), Shazam (Waid, Mora, Sanchez - Comic), Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #1 (Starer, Bustos, Bonvillain - Comic), The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon (Book), Chainsaw Man (Manga), the Original McDonald's Museum. 

New Releases this week (9/13/2023): Sonic the Hedgehog #64 (Editor) Sonic the Hedgehog's 900th Adventure (Editor) 

Announcements: Becca is at Cartoon-a Palooza in Temecula on 9/15 & 9/16. It's a cool free all-ages little con, so come on out and see them! That's today and tomorrow at time of posting! They've got new stuff! 

Becca (and their letterer pal, Duke) has also got a new comic out! It's a short NSFW comic in Midnight Ouevres, the adult part of the Stellar Inflorescence Genshin Impact free zine! 

Wanna support me? Consider joining my Patreon!

I have a webstore! And I did, in fact, get a couple extra copies of Beast Wars Vol. 3! But check it out! Limited quantities on everything! 

I've still got a few things on my eBay, if you're looking for stuff! 

Pic of the Week: Becca and I were in Vegas a couple weekends ago, saw Weezer. It was fun. But on the way back, we stopped by the Original McDonald's Museum in San Bernadino! It's a fascinating little place, in the building that was built where the first McDonald's was before it was torn down and rebuilt to be a little theater. It's also not recognized by the McDonald's corporation because this is the location the founders kept for themselves when they ultimately sold the rest of the company to Ray Kroc. Anyway, so it's a funky little place with a lot of history and is full of toys and packaging and photos and outfits and this big Grimace suit with Becca! 

#comics #copyright #fables #public domain explained #intellectual property law #Original McDonalds Museum #Cartoon-a Palooza

[lover-of-skellies]

Please please please know you're appreciated. Your life itself is precious, but I'll get to that in a little. Let's start with her on Tumblr and sorry this will be a little long. Don't be startled, I only mean the best with this message.

I got into Undertale and it's AUs about a year after it was first released. And I think just about the first time I'd ever heard of the term "incorrect quotes" was from you and your blog. And honestly they're always a delight to see when they cross my dash. This is a side blog and in it's creation I still looked for you since your content is always a delight. Always brings a smile, a laugh, or just a sense of silliness or oddity that's a fresh breath of air. Even when they're not quotes and you're sharing your interests our your thoughts, I appreciate you crossing my dash. It lets me know you're okay.

Even if your content changes, a consistency I always get a smile at is seeing your icon. Even if I didn't read Your username I could still recognize you from the itty bitty skeleton. You're a delight to see, that'll not change. I hope you don't feel restricted to what you share, you should be able to post what makes you smile. Is you have another side blog with your other hobbies/interests because you're trying to keep this one UT AU related then please drop the name cause I'd give a follow there too.

I'm sorry things have shifted since a few years ago where reblogging was more common than it is now. I could believe it could be disheartening when some of your posts may not feel as appreciated as others. It's a small notion, but think of your posts being in a gallery. Your followers or maybe fans of UT or silly incorrect quotes will cross your posts. Sure, they won't all interact. Kinda an inevitability. But that doesn't mean we don't see the effort, or feel the silliness your posts convey. Your quotes have inspired others to draw artwork because of how your work resonated with them. Your quotes inspire writing or help artists provide perceive ideas that your quotes correlated with. You've helped make the world a more colorful place for artists (writers/artists alike) and that's something to be proud of. I'm proud of you for it. I smile and get proud for you when I see others get inspired by your work.

And to you, sweet little bean, little skeleton, little star. We don't see what's going on past what you share online. But the life you live outside the internet, I'm allowed to appreciate you there too. How can a person not be cherished? You're alive, you made it to today with me too. You've gone through your struggles others aren't aware of, you've probably conquered some that others noticed but pretended to ignore. You beat those, they weren't for attention, even if you hoped to gain attention it's because it was the only way you hoped or could think of to get help. No matter how kicked you feel, if you feel you've fallen short, you haven't. You are your own biggest critic, it's not bad to have expectations, but please be gentle to yourself.

Take a breather, take a drink of water, have you eaten? Have you been getting enough sleep? When was the last time you complimented yourself. When was the last time you acknowledged life isn't perfect, so expecting greatness 24/7 is not a life you should try to live. When was the last time you allowed yourself to feel small; to not feel the urge to have the answers, to feel like you're okay not being in control for a little while to catch that breather?

You're a precious little star in my night sky. No matter how dim life may seem, you're always a glowing beacon for me. As long as you breath, your life can burn bright for others. No matter how quiet space may seem, you're not glowing alone, you're adding to the beauty that is life. And it fills me with delight to know I'm continuing to tomorrow with you. I don't have to follow or know you to be grateful you're alive. Your life is finite, irreplaceable, and so so precious. How can I not appreciate you? Thank you for being around, thank you for what you share, please know you're always appreciated, even if you don't know it before, even if it can seem hard at times to accept, you are appreciated.

✨ * . 🌟 . * .

. ⭐ . * . ✨ .

. 🌕 * ⭐ ⭐

. * ✨ * . *. * ⭐

. 🌟 * * *

I am. Deadass about to get a little emotional. I wasn't expecting such a long message that contained so much niceness, but I'm very grateful that you took the time to type everything out and send it to me

I do have a handful of other blogs, some of which are pretty dead, but still. My main is @ohgodallthefandoms-backup, which is where I reblog a lot of whatever I find that I like. There's a lot of fnaf stuff there, so I've been thinking about making a fnaf blog, too. My other blogs are in my pinned post, if you're curious about them at all

Again, it means a lot to me that you felt like sending me such a long, thoughtful message, and I'm very grateful. I'm probably gonna take a screenshot tbh, that way I can look at it later when/if I need a boost. I'm awkward with words and I'm not used to things like this, but I really appreciate you too, and I'm gonna be thinking about what you said for a while

#eiffelfeller #asks #!!!! #cherishing this and keeping it close to my heart forever

[nsfwflint]

Another Year, Another Meme/2nd Blog Anniversary.

First things first. Holy fuck I can't believe it's been 2 years since I started this blog. It feels simultaneously both shorter and much longer than that. It's been such an insane journey and I can't thank you all enough for being here with me!

I've said this multiple times, but when I first started all of this, I didn't expect to grow anywhere near this big. I didn't think I would get even a hundred followers, let alone thousands. This all started simply because I wanted a Sejeong smut but nobody at the time wanted to write it. So I engaged Thanos mode and said "fuck it, I'll do it myself." If you told me at the time that I would still be writing 2 years later with over 7k followers, I wouldn't have believed you. But I'm here and since I'm feeling sentimental, I want to thank everyone who made this possible.

To @sinsatmidnight: Thank you for betareading and editing my pieces. Seriously, you've done so much work it's insane. I'll never be able to thank you enough for it. But even more importantly, thank you for convincing me to take the plunge and try writing. While several writers inspired me (yourself included), you were the biggest driving force in persuading me to write instead of just watching from the sidelines. You've given me so much invaluable advice the last two years as both a writer and a friend, and I like to think that I've grown tremendously as a writer thanks to you. At the very least I don't use exhale as a noun anymore LOL.

To @lockefanfic: You're easily the biggest inspiration that also made me want to start writing. Seeing someone that made Business Trip such an amazing and long standing series inspired me to try my hand at writing. But in addition to being a huge inspiration, you've also been an amazing friend. Despite not liking the greatest culinary creation known to man, you're a fellow Eunji stan and we share a lot of the same views. The biggest confidence boost I've ever received is when you told me that you thought my pieces were good after publicly saying that you didn't read much other smut. I can't tell you how amazing it felt that the amazing author I followed not only read my work when he didn't read much of anyone else's, but LIKED it. It was such an insane fuel for me when I started writing.

To @themanthemyththeverite: Ah. My soulmate and my biggest fan. We have so much in common it's kind of scary. From idols to music to games, I always have a blast talking to you. I know that I can always count on you to help me figure out ideas when I get stuck. You're one of my closest friends in the community and I can't put into words how much your friendship and constant support have meant to me.

There are so many other people I want to thank but I'm already rambling a lot. But I also want to thank @banananutsmuthie, @cataboliac, @iznsfw, and @ggidolsmuts for being amazing writers and friends. I didn't give you your own paragraphs but I promise I love you guys just as much. <3

Now for some statistics now that I'm entering my 3rd year. At the time of writing this post I have:

7,139 Followers

3,217 posts including reblogs

342 combined notes for Infinite Love Stories

968 combined notes for Island Paradise

1,532 combined notes for Office Politics

7,271 combined notes across all One Shots and Quickies

Considering how I pretty much neglect my series, the low note counts are to be expected. But overall a pretty good career so far, if I may humble brag.

Once again, I can't thank you all enough for being here and supporting me through this incredible journey. It's been such a wild ride with lots of ups and downs, but overall it's been an amazing time. All of your support has helped me through a lot the last two years.

Thank you all for being here the last two years, and hopefully we'll be together for more to come!

#kpop #gugudan sejeong #gugudan #kim sejeong #sejeong #update #anniversary #2nd anniversary #blog anniversary

[tinytowns]

ପ( ໊๑˃̶͈⌔˂̶͈)੭  ✶  𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒚𝒕𝒐𝒘𝒏𝒔 𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛  !

the time for celebration has come again &. this time we're celebrating the big eight - hundred ! over the last few months i've been unable to make posts commemorating my milestones . . . honestly because i've barely been able to keep up with my growth &. all the love that's been so graciously shown my way - it's time to give some back , don't you agree ?

the last milestone we celebrated together was 200 followers in august of 2022. since then , i've made new friends in this community , fallen out of touch with a few others , been reblogged or acknowledged by the people i admired from a great distance , and reached heights i never thought possible .

and it's all because of you , who gives so much love to me &. my silly little creations ! going forward , i want to continue being a creator that the rpc can respect & be proud to home in this wonderful community .

from the bottom of my heart , my dearest friends , thank you for gifting me this milestone , i will cherish it forever . . . without further ado let's get into my follow forever ♡

✶ BERRY , to the girl who works harder in one day than i ever have in my entire life &. supported me since day one on this crazy journey , i feel it'd be a sin to begin this post without acknowledging you &. your works first . without a droplet of doubt you continue to be one of my biggest inspirations , motivations , and loves ! really , you're such a superstar in everything you do because you do it so well. i'm convinced you could take the ugliest graphic in the world and completely transform it into something that'd snatch my breath away ; to have even a fraction of your talent would be such a blessing . thank you for being by my side , i'm so lucky to have you . follow berry on @fruitzys and check out their amazing work including templates , gif packs , and blog graphic commissions . their comms are currently open !

✶ NAIA , for my most precious friend who always produces such high quality content that i'm frankly envious of , i love you to the ends of the earth &. even beyond that ! we met in 2022 but i'd been keenly following you for quite some time even before that , devouring whatever resources you'd so kindly release &. mourning their unfortunate departure . naia releases content ? i'm always first in line to grab what i can , kiss her cheek , and run away giggling like a maniac with whatever you released tightly in my grubby little hands . i'm immensely grateful to have gotten the chance to meet you , one of my favourite creators , without even realizing it until quite a few days later . i may be quite introverted these days , but trust me when i say i'm always thinking about how you're doing , what your next exciting project will be , and how to show love to you in more ways . follow naia on @pinkfaire where they release beautiful themes , powerpoint templates , and is just too cute on a daily basis .

✶ MIKI , youuuuuuu . . . you've been absolutely killing the game ever since your first resource debut in the rpc , you absolute menace ! trust and believe my notifcations are ON for a miki drop . that week of december where you were dropping the most jawdroppingly beautiful resources left & right like it was nobody's business ? dude , i was shaking &. crying &. taking wtvr crumbs resource goddess miki decided to bless us with ??? keep killin' it you funky little seungkwan luvr . i love u !! as a consumer , i was living my best life - but as a creator ?? i was shaking , i needed to step my game up you were just that intimidatingly GOOD at what you do !! you also made me want to start making templates ?? you're an absolute trendsetter . follow miki on @vernonline where they post gif packs &. psd templates !! they also have a kofi here so consider supporting them

( ❀ ˆ꒳ˆ˵ ) ♡ HONOURABLE MENTIONS ,

✶ ADORA , never had much of a chance to speak with you one - on - one but i'm anticipating future resources because i know from dash that you're working hard on them ! follow adora on @adoramita where they will be posting ask memes , templates , and tutorials ! their commissions are currently open .

✶ DOLLIE , we met properly recently but i've definitely always noticed you in my notifications supporting me so keenly - thank you so much , i look forward to a blossoming friendship between us my most beloved doll ! now i'm not sure if you've ever released things , but it's worth it to follow dollie anyway because they're such a bright &. kind - hearted person ! truly a delight to speak with ♡

and that's it , i believe ? hopefully i haven't forgotten anybody in this line - up but if i have then i'll make corrections later . check all of these wonderful people out , commission them , and give 'em a little something something through kofi if you're willing ! this concludes coco's 800 celebration ~ thank you , i love you all ♡

#i speak! #follow forever #800 celebration !!! #floating hearts were once again by oc.to.moosey #memories: happy 800! #hehe .. #im a liar #im at 793 right now #but it's CLOSE #so i get away with it

[magicalara]

So...2022 huh

It's time for Em's yearly letter to the blog where I talk about it since the new year's coming in about an hour and a half in my timezone. Prefacing this with a tw for talks of depression, anxiety, horrible friends, and no proof reading. Here is my word vomit and if you don't get to the end, happy new year everyone.

So 2022 was one of, if not the, worst year in my 19 years of living. It started off with the pressure of a class which if I didn't pass, would essentially mean I couldn't go to college, and is ending with me having to walk on eggshells around people and feeling just...so anxious and depressed. Before I get into that, however, in order to save the people I want to specifically call out from having to hear about my depressing word vomit, I'm gonna mention them first.

So I can't make a new year's post without tagging my girl @pinktea99 who has been around for what feels like ever. I think it'll actually be two years of our friendship early next year I don't remember for sure, it might be three...time is fake it doesn't matter anyways. Between the amazing fanfictions you used to make that I still go back to every now and then and now just tagging me in posts you think I'd like, Mo you've been the biggest supporter I've had since I practically started posting real shit on this hellsite and I could not be more grateful. You're on of my biggest inspirations and I love and adore you so much. Let's go into 2023 with just as much happiness as you've given me in 2022 and even more. I love you so much, my dear 💜💚

Next up (and honestly the only other person I have to tag oops 💀) @docmartensanddietcoke my beloved. We've only been friends for a few months now but hot damn do I feel like we've known each other for years. We clicked so quickly and it kinda scared me at first but in such a good way??? Idk but you're amazing and so sweet and passionate and I just love talking to you so much. You've made me so excited about writing again after so long of being stuck in an endless loop of writer's block and just general insecurity that led to me not posting. I'm so happy I met you and I can't wait to see what 2023 brings us. Much love to you and thank you for showing me the pleasures (nudge nudge wink wink) of the pairing that is William T Spears and Mey-Rin 💜♥️💜

Okay so now the other stuff lol. So if you're one of the 20-30 some-odd people who started following me from seeing all the black butler bullshit I post, you wouldn't know but I used to be a kpop blog. I'm like 99% certain that I privated/deleted all of those posts though so yk hopefully y'all don't see that. I still reblog my nct loves because they are my ult group and I love them very much but I used to like only post about kpop. I had to switch because I just wasn't happy with it anymore. I had always envisioned myself as having a blog full of things I loved but after coming back from a break where I saw the fandoms I loved to interact with having gone to shit, I couldn't do it anymore. So I got rid of it all and rebranded 😃 It was honestly a really good decision though and I'm glad I did it because it reminded me of the reasons I started a tumblr account in the first place: to be happy.

For as creepy as certain sides of the black butler fandom may be, I've never felt so supported. Y'all are amazing and I still can't believe any of my posts got passed 50 notes let alone my top three all being just shy of or completely pass 100. All of the interaction is so appreciated and I can't wait to interact with you all more in the new year <33

With the good, though, comes the bad. So much of the last half of my senior year was full on unnecessary bullshit and drama and breakdowns. From the feeling of being stabbed in the back by people I thought I could trust, to being almost taken advantage of in my first wlw relationship, it just was not a great time. This really sucked, though, because my greatest hope was for my senior year in high school to be something worth remembering as I wasn't able to do anything the previous two years since covid put a downer on all of that. But whatever, I graduated and kept the people I wanted to and dropped those I didn't. It's still a work in progress in dropping some of those people, but in getting there lol

I got my first job, which I still have now, and I love working there. There are better days and worse days (I work in public service so there are always those karen's who will come in) but I love the people I work with and am glad that I decided to take the offer to work there when I did. I have some good memories there that definitely are core memories

I can't do this without mentioning the passing of Technoblade. If you didn't know who he was, Technoblade was a minecraft youtuber and streamer who helped so many people with his amazing and funny videos and his stories that he created on the Dream SMP. He unfortunately passed in June this year due to cancer. When I watched the video his dad made announcing it, the world went silent. I spent that whole night and much of the day after crying my eyes out. I couldn't imagine someone who had brought me so much comfort being gone. Hell I'm still not over it, and I don't think I ever will be. Techno was a huge influence, inspiration, and comfort for me and always will be. Fuck cancer.

I had many family problems throughout the year that I won't get into because that's a little more personal than I'd like to get to on such a public place lol. Just know that to all of you who are celebrating alone this year, I feel you, and my heart goes out to you. We aren't alone if we're all together

The one huge positive that I do have to mention is my starting to watch anime. I decided to take the plunge and watch ouran highschool host club because of a cosplay I saw of hikaru and kaoru on tiktok that made me go "oh what the fuck I'll give". I went in not expecting to finish even episode one and came out with new comfort characters and a world I couldn't leave behind. After ouran, I found kuroshitsuji and we'll...here we are lol

On top of the comfort I found in ouran, I found a series that was so much darker but had such good characters that I started to connect with and love. Grelle has been such a huge comfort for me and I can't imagine myself leaving her (or the series) behind at any point for next long while. Seeing such an empowering transgender woman really did it for me and I'm so happy I decided to watch this show and subsequently binge read the manga. I can't wait to see all the kuro content this next year brings

I've lost people this year, I've gained people this year. I've cried so many tears of sadness and absolutely no tears of joy. I've spent way more money than I should on genshin impact and food. Most importantly, I've found a place where I think I can start to build myself up again. Good fucking bye 2022, I'm gonna do my best to make 2023 my bitch and I think that y'all should join me. Thank you all for being here, and I wish you all a happy, healthy new year

If you've made it this far, new chapter of forever forgiveness comes out in two weeks ;)

#happy new year from em #i hope that readmore worked im doing this all on mobile 💀 #putting kuro oruan nct and techno tags bc i can #kuroshitsuji #black butler #nct #ouran highschool host club #technoblade #love you guys and thanks for making 2022 that much more tolerable #💜💜💜

[spynorth]

I know we just talked and we're going to talk again and you probably know what I'm going to say already but I need to say it anyhow. You know I love your writing. The depth, the intricacy with which you craft words into something so evocative and vivid but in a way that appears effortless to the reader, it's a gift you've always possessed and one you've honed to an art on Killian. But since creating this blog, you've proven that it's not just a fluke, that lightning really *can* strike twice, and it's been nothing short of amazing watching you develop Lucas into something that is both true to canon and also utterly *yours* in a way that no one else could ever duplicate no matter how hard they may try. You are a gift - to tumblr, to the world, but mostly to me. I love you more than even the most eloquent words can say, and I am perpetually awed by you and the talent that seems to simply flow from your fingertips. You are my love, my soul mate, and the greatest inspiration that I could dream of. Thank you for being in my life, for being the most incredible writing partner imaginable, and for being mine. I love you.

FUCK EVERYTHING I'M CRYING LIKE AN UGLY PERSON.

first of all, I want to post a disclaimer (since you said we just talked) saying that you are not the 17 minute phone conversation person that i said goodbye to 6 times before finally hanging up. anyways, now that that's out of the way ..

You told me not to uno reverse this and to just post it and let it be mine, but I don't know how to not take advantage of this opportunity to tell you just how much this means to me but also how every praise you have given me is something I've learned from you. From the day we met on Hook and Guy you've always been my biggest supporter and fan and also my greatest mentor and coach in the art of writing. God, I think about the hours we've spent writing both on here and off. The hours we've talked, discussed, combed through every second of a muse's canon and (I wish i was kidding) even in some instances had like 32 tabs of research open for something that should have been a stupidly simple crack verse. The times we've done kik or wire, the times we've scrapped blogs or abandoned them because they just weren't fitting ... I've grown so much as a writer over the last almost 9 years and I owe that to you. I am constantly stretched to match you, always inspired by you and I have learned so much about characterization and depth and world building from you. I always say that I know a muse is gonna stick when they exist for one of yours and that usually stands true .. but Lucas has truly done what a muse of mine hasn't done since i first made hook. I saw a gifset and I've been hemming and hawing for like two years and I'm so glad you were like please just do the thing.

You are my inspiration, the love of my life, the person who I trust to be devastatingly honest with me. Thank you for all of the times we've watched various hook things, the hours you've spent watching me annotate peter pan and listening to me compare it to other media. Thank you for listening to me now talk about william blake and kafka and milton's paradise lost and all of the ways I think they relate to lucas and how i plan on reflecting it in my writing. Thank you for being one of the best fucking writers I've ever come across in my life. You are my favorite author and you always will be. You've taught me how to take things off a simple document on tumblr, how to make the words paint a story and a picture that isnt just a retelling, to create something that's a glimpse of life. You've taught me to channel my hurts and my demons and my triumphs and bottle them up until i can release them across a page. I'm so blessed and grateful to have a partner who takes writing as seriously as I do, who knows that despite the fact that it's just roleplay, I use it to push myself to be better and to write further than I did the day before. We both do. Thank you for recently teaching me that its ok to just write about bread lmao.

I fell in love with your writing before I ever saw or met you on tumblr. I saw these words on a page, read them.. and my heart just let out a sigh. Oh. There you are. Anyways this is super long now and I don't even know if I've said everything I wanted to say but .. thank you. For everything. Always. Thank you for not sighing when I said I made a lucas north blog so that he could ship with aurora and be guy's clone in an effort to explore nature vs nurture. Not once were you like "can we please just do the spiderman meme plot where they stare at one another and say dude!! you have my face!! because its easier?". You just went with it and I've wrangled you in and you've layered it deeper so it's gonna be so intense now. I love you so much. Thank you for supporting me over here. Killian is never going to go anywhere. I'm stuck with him forever. Sometimes I catch myself writing a reply here while I'm zoned out and I see something about his one hand and an Irish accent and I'm like ... wait his what now?? Thanks for reading a ridiculous number of books with me. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being the love of my life and my best friend. Thanks for showing me twenty three year old me that I wasn't alone. And for reminding me even now when I try to forget. I love you so much. There's no one else I'd rather listen to adam lambert with.

#save tag ; #HUNTER DID I ASK FOR THIS. #if you're getting emo about this like i am - #just think about me singing the bug juice song #or #do you ever feel like a plastic bag -

[txemrn]

Just leaving a little something in your asks as a big thank you! ❤️

Before joining this little fandom, I was devouring all your OH content on my personal blog. Let me tell you, getting to know the marvelous Dr. Tatum Erikson turned out to be love at first sight, and this badass woman has remained my fictional obsession ever since.

You are one of the writers I look up to so much. Though Tatum is an OC, the way you write this beautiful and fierce lady keeps inspiring me not to be afraid of shaping my MC the way I have always invisioned her to be. It means more to me than words can say.

You are such a wonderful human being, and your support and kindness never fails to make my heart skip a beat! Thank you for your beautiful works, for being the ultimate gem all the time, and for simply being a part of the fandom! 🥰

LIN!

I-- 😭❤😭

Confession: I got this last night, and I was LITERALLY rendered speechless. I kept trying to write this message, and my words just kept failing me because I legit did not know what to say--I still don't! I don't know how to express how truly this just touched my heart.

So... I guess I'll start with this.

Thank you. Thank you so so so so so so much for all of this.

Second, and this is me being selfish, but daaaaaaaamn, Tatum is so fucking hot... and I think your board just made her hotter (What? How?). I literally cannot stop staring at her with heart eyes, and OMG... she's mine! LOL I mean, she's Ethan's, but... *sigh* my baby...

I'm so glad she inspires you; she inspires me--no joke! And just in case you were wondering, I don't write myself into characters (I mean, we might have the same taste in music), so when I say she inspires me... I literally mean it. And the fact she can be memorable to other people is just so friggin awesome.

You've been around long enough to know the cliché: we write for ourselves. Period. And it's a cliché because it's TRUE. You should always always always write what you love... because then it's not fun, right?

BUT knowing that someone--and not just anyone; YOU!--enjoy one of my characters seriously lights a massive fire under my ass to write more about her (and of course, who doesn't want more Ethan?). Thank you so much for being that person for me. Every reblog/comment please please please KNOW means the world to me (and please do NOT take that as pressure to keep doing it LOL).

I was just telling one of my TRR fandom girlfriends this morning how amazing Laura is, and how you have really turned MC's story around into something fucking incredible! That's one thing I love about this fandom is seeing the creativity and interpretation, and you definitely have a memorable character that is easy to love. That's a reflection of YOU, my dear.

And can I just say... I am so, so grateful to have finally met you, and that you are part of this fandom. YOU are a bright spot on this hellsite (LOL). It makes me smile everytime you pop up in my feed because I get to witness your kindness and love for other creators. It's SO beautiful, and no matter what I'm going through, it puts a smile on my face! So, thank you for ALWAYS being a my reason to smile. Thank you for ALWAYS giving this fandom a reason to smile!

Sending you the biggest friggin hug ever! Thank you again for taking the time to love on me (and Tatum), and I look forward to building more of our universes together!

💜💜💜

#spreading positivity #kindness matters #ofmischiefandmedicine #lovely lin #open heart #tatum erikson

[teenytinykittenbeans]

Well now...

Here I am on this site again. It's been a few years since I deleted my last account. It's been 15 years since I first joined tumblr. It was my second social media account (after myspace). I still remember learning about tumblr through one of my bestfriends, and then it just spread like wildfire during high school. It was back when WeHeartIt was the equivalent of Pinterest. We'd sift through so many photos to pick out the ones we liked, download them, then upload them to our tumblr "blog" (with absolutely no credit ICK). Back then, tumblr was fun. But also so toxic. The anon messaging feature was honestly a terrible idea for anyone under 18yo. There was so much nasty bullying. It gave people the ability to be really two-faced... But, it also connected us in a way myspace didn't. The openness of tumblr made you feel connected to others. Apart from seeing pictures of them, you saw photos of things they liked, pieces of poetry and quotes that symbolized what they were going through, you saw their interactions with others, you got to find out what kind of music they liked, you got to know other's sense of humor, etc. Idk. It was such an interesting environment, apart from the abusive anons.

And yeah, with my gen getting older, I think we stopped sitting on tumblr and started to go out and experience more things irl. We got jobs, we found new hobbies, some of us just needed change, some of us had kids, etc... The site just stopped feeling as special as it once did. A lot of kids I grew up on tumblr with drifted off... some of us deleted our accounts, and a few stayed...

I think I'm partially back here for the nostalgia. I don't know how long I'll stay. Instagram focuses too much on overall presentation and narrow branding. Tiktok is about playing a character and getting famous. Facebook is full of ads and dull. Snapchat hasn't been enjoyable for me in years. Pinterest is nice for inspiration, but it's system of sharing data based on an algorithm feels messy... And I think that's ultimately it. I miss caring about the people I'm seeing stuff posted by. I miss caring about genuine existences, online.

----

My life is so different now from what it was at 15yo. But some things remain the same...

I feel like I'm going through it again, in a similar way to what I experienced at 18. I've lost confidence in myself. I still have such a hard time believing long term goals can become reality, for myself. I'm scared I'm not capable of giving anything good back to anyone. I'm so emotionally unavailable, but really in need of therapy and mending. I'm completely disconnected from my families. I struggle with feeling like I'll ever live up to any standard, no matter how hard I try. I struggle with finding self worth outside of how others view me and treat me.

(Yeah, if you're a youngin' and you've got some kind of financial means of tackling your depression: please deal with it, asap. It comes and goes, but it never permanently goes away. You just learn how to live through it. I wish I had insisted I go to therapy, when I was in my teens, but I never knew I could insist on that from my parents. Mental health is a journey, and it's better to start it as early as possible.)

----

Another big change for me, from 15 to 30, is how many people aren't in my life anymore. People move away. People change friend groups after high school. People grow apart. People have kids... If you don't teach yourself small talk or how to connect with new people, you could end up feeling pretty alone.

People also die, way too early. People die that you once didn't get along with, and you cry because it's still heartbreaking to hear. People die that you once laughed with and loved like a sibling. People die that you once had the biggest crush on. People die that you once were just casually friends with...

It makes me realize, more and more each time, that life just happens. You can plan on things. You can schedule events. You can build the life you want. You can just go with the flow. But ultimately, we're not completely in control of our lives, no matter what we do.

It's always devastating finding out someone else has passed away too early. It always feels unreal and unfair.

March 5-6th, 2023

#notes

[kururrugi]

dedicated to @aizawashoutta ♡ happy birthday to the amazing ana!

#bnhaedit #bnha #boku no hero academia #hawks #edit:all #edit:color #happy birthday my precious darling #where do i start hhhhhhh #hope you have a very very amazing day ahead #enjoy your day with your loved ones and eat lots of cakes #i can't explain how amazing of a person you are!!!! #you've been one of my biggest inspirations ever since i first made this blog #your colourings are of another universe!!! #they keep blessing my dash i swear #you're like the sweetest and most precious person i have net here #i become sm happier ever time i talk with ypu #and it's a honour to run a blog with you!!! #i am glad i got a chance to talk with you every week like this #aaaaaaaaaa i really really admire you a lot #i hope you know how wonderful of a person you are and be happy in life #wishing all the good things for you!!!! #you deserve all the love and happiness in the world ♡♡♡♡ #also uhh i am sorry it was supposed to be aizawa at first but i suck at colouring black hair ugh i hope you like hawks too??? #i hope i learn it well and can make a better gift for you next year >< #i am sending all my love from here! <33333 #always be happy and keep smiling ana!!! #you're honestly like sunshine!!!!

[nashibirne]

Gimme Shelter - 2

Ready for chapter 2? Here it is. This whole fic, but especially this part, was inspired by this article/interview. Men's Journal Article In particular by Henry's statements about his time at boarding school.

In this chapter we learn about Henry's and Kat's past. I hope you enjoy it. If so, please leave me a comment, like or replog. 💜

Previous part -> Nashi's Masterlist

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)

Words: ~3.4k

Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 2: Kat remembers the day Henry hurt her very much and they have the unavoidable conversation about it.

Warnings: RPF, mention of bullying, angst, humiliation

No beta! All mistakes are mine. English is not my mother tongue so expect bad grammar and wrong spelling.

Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill, this is pure fiction and nothing more

Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Faceclaims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly

Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @madbaddic7ed @artandotherdelights @sweetlybigdragonn @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @rn7rocks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2

"And I say I'll never hurt her

But she knows it isn't true

'Cause although I never told her

I think she knows 'bout me and you."

From "When Susannah Cries", written by Amund Bjorklund/Espen Lind

****

Kat found herself confronted with Henry all alone after a week of avoiding him. Of course they had met when they had dinner together in the evenings but she had stayed out of Sam's and Henry's conversations most of the time and during the day she stayed in her office, busy with work. Sometimes she secretly watched him, peeking out of her window, when he played with Kal in the garden or when he was doing workouts or stretching when he came back from one of his runs, but she avoided meeting him.

She knew it was idiotic but she just couldn't forget their past. She felt childish and silly and of course it was unavoidable to talk about it at some point but she wasn't ready yet. On this Friday morning she was sitting in the kitchen having breakfast when he came back from his morning run unusually late.

"Morning, Kat." He flashed her a bright smile before he started to make a protein shake and an egg sandwich. He looked fantastic even when he was sweaty and worn out.

"Good morning." She avoided his gaze and concentrated on her porridge. 

"Mind if I join you?" Henry pointed at the chair opposite of her.

"No. Please, sit." Kat gave him an awkward smile. It still felt so strange to have him around, it made her uncomfortable and tense.

"I already said this to Sam, the house is beautiful. I mean it always was, I remember it very well but what you made of it is great. Modern and traditional at the same time, perfect mixture." 

"Thank you." She didn't know what else to say but Henry didn't seem to mind her taciturn reply, he kept on smiling and talking.

"I was pretty surprised when I heard that you moved here. I mean, you were always a big city girl, you hated Stowe, and then...St. Ives...not only for holidays but for good…" 

"Yeah. At some point I was getting sick of the big city lights, of all the hectic and the noise and all the crowded places." Kat explained shrugging. "And when our parents thought about selling the house after their divorce, Sam and I decided to buy and renovate it. He was looking for a place to open a practise anyway and the old vet in town was giving up his, so it was the perfect opportunity for him and I can work from anywhere so we moved here."

"Right, Sam mentioned you're an editor."

"Yes. I have a little editing office and work as a freelancer for different publishing houses."

"That's great, Kat. You've always been good with words."

She smiled and this time it was more relaxed. "And you've always been a good entertainer."

Henry chuckled. "Most of the time you found my little performances annoying. I remember that very well."

Kat laughed. "You're right. When you tried your stand up comedy on me. That was a pain in the ass. But you were great on stage. You were a natural."

"We were a great team, all of our drama group."

"That's true but you were outstanding in Grease. Everyone said that. I remember our parents were gushing over your performance all night after the premiere." She laughed again and rolled her eyes. 

"That must have sucked. Didn't your mother want to make you join the drama group too?" "Yes. And she hated that I preferred to write for the school newspaper. She thought I was wasting my creative potential."

"She was wrong. Your articles always were the most progressive, interesting and polarizing ones."

"Yeah, maybe. But she was right when she said you were extraordinarily talented. You're a great actor."

"Thanks, Kitty."

Her smile froze. Kitty. He was the only one who'd ever called her that. And he stopped doing it 22 years ago.

"I'm sorry, Kat. I don't know where that came from." He said with a remorseful frown.

"Just don't call me that ever again."

"Of course not. Unless you ask me to." He gave her a sheepish smile.

She shook her head, visibly annoyed. "Not gonna happen."

"Kat. Please, I'm really sorry and I know I lost every right to call you that a very long time ago but maybe we can start over again. Talk about what happened. I never got the chance to explain…"

"Don't even start, okay? I don't wanna hear it." She interrupted him mid-sentence and started to stir her coffee so angrily that she spilled half of it on the table.

Henry began to chew on his bottom lip. "It's just that my therapist told me to follow through my past, to take a close look at the mistakes I've made...to learn from them."

"My, my...too bad my therapist told me the exact opposite. Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. That's what he said."

Kat shrugged apologetically.

"That's not something a therapist would say, Kat. This is from Star Wars The Last Jedi. Ben Solo said this to Rey."

He knew the quote. Still a nerd, Kat thought. Still that damn cute dork.

"Never underestimate the wisdom of a Star Wars character." 

"Ok, I get it. You don't wanna talk about it." Henry raised his hands in surrender.

"You catch on quick, don't you?" Kat said sarcastically.

Henry shook his head, rolling his eyes with an annoyed snort.

"Alright, let's keep it under the cloak of silence." 

"Yup."

"Fine."

"Fine."

Kat crossed her arms and stared out of the window. Henry was fuming with anger. Why wouldn't she let him explain? Make a fresh start? They were 16 back then, stupid teenagers, why wasn't it possible to talk about this damn night now, 22 bloody years later? He bolted down his sandwich and his shake and left the room without another word.

****

Kat went upstairs after this unpleasant encounter and plopped down on her bed with a desperate sigh. She remembered that damn night so fucking well. Still. After all these years. It was burnt into her memory as the biggest humiliation of her life. The day her heart broke in a way, no man had ever been able to repair it. Superficially maybe but not to the core. That stupid summer dance. Kat closed her eyes and suddenly she was sixteen again.

I really don't know why I'm already wearing that silly dress three hours before I have to go, I didn't want to have it at all. At least not before Henry suggested going to the dance with me. As friends of course but nevertheless. It will be the two of us together. You and me, Kitty. Two lonely hearts. That's what Henry said to me. That was four weeks ago and ever since that day it's all I can think about. I look at my reflection in the mirror and I like what I see. The dress is cute, it's light blue and quite romantic with all the frills and the puffed sleeves and I feel like an Edwardian lady from one of the novels Henry and I love so much. I feel pretty and I want to be pretty for him. I want to look like a girl tonight, not like a tomboy. I even bought a headband with little flowers. I'd really love to hear Amy's opinion on my dress. She's my roommate and friend but she's at the hospital because she had an appendix operation. 

The ringing of the phone in our room startles me. I take the call. It's Henry and he sounds awful. He says he has a very bad migraine and that he cannot go to the dance with me. He apologizes several times but of course it's not his fault. I know he has these attacks from time to time and I know he can't leave his bed when he does. He needs to sleep in complete silence and darkness and tomorrow he will be fine again. He tells me he wants me to go alone, to have fun tonight but of course I'm not going anywhere without him and he knows it. It's a shame, that's true but where's the point in going to a dance alone without my only friends, without Amy, without Henry.

I take off my dress and put on jeans and a hoodie. I look out of the window, the weather is wonderful and I decide to take a walk to distract myself from the disappointment.

Of course I run right into my big brother Samuel. He asks me what I'm doing in the park. Why I'm not getting ready for the big party and for my date. He just can't stop making fun of me. He knows it's not a date, that Henry and I are just friends but he loves to tease me. He says I'm in love with Henry and of course he's right, I am in love with him, deeply, I'm in love for the first time in my life but I keep on denying it. Sam must never know that he's right because he would use it against me, that's for sure. When I tell him about Henry and the migraine he says I can't skip the dance, that I really need some fun and that I'm going to like it. He convinces me to go with him. His date has dumped him because he cheated on her. He's a notorious heartbreaker but deep inside he is a nice guy and -all in all- a pretty good big brother. I hesitate but then I think of the beautiful dress that's waiting for me in my room and so I finally agree.

I go to Henry's room to tell him I'm going with Sam and to explain why. I don't want him to be upset that I go without him. I knock but there's no answer. I guess he sleeps and I don't want to wake him up and so I leave.

Sam picks me up at nine. The dance starts at eight but he wants a big entrance. It's all about attention and drama, Kat, he says and I guess he's right.

When we arrive at the party Sam soon disappears with Molly Smith, one of his many exes and I stand alone beside the cold buffet. That's when I see him. At first I don't believe my eyes but it's really him. It's Henry. He's standing there with all the popular kids, chatting and laughing and holding hands with Poppy Edwards, the most beautiful girl of our school. No sign of a bad migraine. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I can't look away, I want to but I just can't turn my eyes away from him. When he notices me his face falls. He stares at me and so does everyone who's standing there with him. My first impulse is to turn around and run away but I don't. My pride is stronger than the stinging pain in my heart. He obviously doesn't want me to be here. To see him with his new friends and his date or girlfriend or whatever this is. I jut my chin defiantly and stand my ground. I watch in horror how Poppy takes Henry by the hand and drags him in my direction. Their friends follow them.

She greets me with a smile that's sweet as sugar but the words that come out of her mouth are like poison. "Katherine, what a pretty dress. Where did you get it?" Before I'm able to stammer an answer she keeps going. "Did you find it in the prop room of the drama group? You look like Eliza Doolittle." She gives me a fake smile and her stupid friends start to giggle. I know my face is flaming red with anger, embarrassment and humiliation but Poppy's not done with me yet. She turns to Henry. "I bet she wants you to be her Professor Higgins. Everybody knows she has a crush on you. Maybe she wants to kiss you. Do you want to kiss this dressed up tomboy, Henry? Or do you want to kiss me?" Now every single one of them bursts out laughing and it feels like a punch in the guts. I'm on the brink of tears. I look at Henry, searching for help, but there's no reaction. He doesn't speak up against them, does nothing to defend and protect me, he doesn't even look at me.  He doesn't do anything, he just stands there staring holes in the ground, avoiding my gaze. I can't stand this anymore. Him. Her. All of them. I turn around and leave fully aware of the fact that this moment marks the end of our friendship.

When Kat woke up from that ghastly memory she felt just as terrible as 22 years ago. Humiliated and ashamed and angry. Very angry. She got up with a jolt, ran up the stairs to the second floor and headed right to Henry's rooms. She didn't knock, just stormed in, finding him standing there in only a pair of briefs. His curls were wet and he smelled heavenly. She stopped in her tracks and Henry stared at her. "Kat. What the fuck. Ever heard of privacy? Ever heard of knocking?"

She didn't answer, she just stood there unsure what to do or say. Henry put on a shirt and sweatpants and turned to her again. "Can I help you?"

"Explain." Kat said. "Explain to me what happened at the dance."

"Now?"

"Yes. Now. Is that a problem?"

He shook his head slowly. "Not at all. Wanna sit?" 

"No. I'm fine."

"Come on, Kat. This may take a while."

With a sigh she sat down on the sofa while Henry plopped down in the arm chair beside the window.

"So?" Kat looked at him expectantly.

"Well, first of all I wanna say I was a stupid wank back then. I lied to you and I let you down. I know this now, I knew it then, but when Poppy asked me to go to the dance with her…"

"When?"

"What?"

"When did she ask you?"

"A week before the ball."

Kat nodded. "Okay. Go on."

"Right. When Poppy asked me I just couldn't say no. I mean she was the most popular girl in our school and she wanted to go with a nobody like me. With fat Cavill, the lemon. Her attention just felt so good. The thought that she might be interested in me...it was too tempting to not give it a try. I just couldn't refuse her. I faked that migraine because I thought it was the easiest way to keep you away from the dance. I was sure you'd never go without me but I was wrong. I considered telling you the truth, I really did because I hated lying to you, Kat, but I finally decided to keep it a secret because I was sure you would try to talk me out of it. I knew you hated Poppy..."

"Yes, I did. She was a bitch. A manipulative, arrogant bitch and a bully."

"Like Aaron Taylor you mean?" Henry snapped at her with an angry glance. After all these years he was still jealous of the guy. "Aaron was arrogant, yes, but he was never manipulating anyone. He was more honest and true to himself than every single one of you and your friends. And for sure he was no bully. I wouldn't have been with him if he'd bullied anyone. He was a good guy." 

"Poppy wasn't that bad either. The real Poppy I mean. Not the queen bee she pretended to be."

Kat turned her eyes towards the ceiling and shook her head in disbelief. "Yeah, sure. She was an angel…You know, that was the hardest part. To process that you of all people were with a girl like her. She and her friends made fun of us and our love for literature so many times." Her voice got tense and she took a deep breath to calm down.  Henry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before he continued to speak.

"Anyway. I never wanted to hurt you, Kat. I hope you know that. I didn't expect you to show up and I know the way I treated you was awful. I didn't defend you, I hurt your feelings, I betrayed you and behaved like an asshole. I know this is almost inexcusable but I want you to know that I'm really sorry. I was back then but I didn't dare to tell you. And I still am. I'm sorry and ashamed of my behaviour. I can only apologize and hope for forgiveness." He avoided her gaze, staring at his hands.

A long silent pause followed his statement but after a while Kat inhaled deeply and after clearing her throat she started to talk. "Thank you, Henry. This really means a lot to me. I mean, hearing you admit all that. And the betrayal, that's what hurt the most. I want you to know that it was never about the fact that you didn't return my feelings for you. I mean, of course I was jealous of Poppy, but…"

Now Henry was the one to cut in.

"Wait. Your feelings for me?" He sounded genuinely surprised.

"Come on, don't act stupid. You must have known how I felt about you. I was pretty obvious and Poppy told everyone at the dance that I had a crush on you." Kat knew she was blushing but it was embarrassing to say that out loud.

"Kat, I swear I had no idea. I thought Poppy was just joking. I never considered you'd see me this way." He looked her right in the eyes before he continued. "You told me that you don't see me as a boy. That I was -and that's a quote I will never be able to forget- 'just like a girl that has a teeny wiener' to you."

"Oh god, Henry. I was 13 when I said that and I was a brat with a loose tongue. I did see you as a boy when we got older. Of course I did…" Kat gave him an awkward smile.

"So you really had a crush on me? Why didn't you say anything?" 

"To be honest it was a little more than a crush. I was in love with you. And when you said you'd go to the dance with me I thought that maybe there we would dance and get close and maybe share a special moment and a kiss or...I don't know. I just had these silly romantic fantasies…" Kat swallowed hard and shrugged. 

"You hoped that we'd become a couple that night."

She nodded.

"I never knew this, Kat." Henry felt awful. If he'd only known, he would never have said yes to Poppy if he'd had the slightest notion that Kat was in love with him.

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore, does it. That was 22 years ago. I'm not that girl anymore and you most definitely aren't that boy."

Kat got up and clapped her hands.

"I guess it's a good thing we've talked this through. Your therapist is going to like it." She gave him a sarcastic smile and Henry got up too. He came closer but Kat took a step back and so he didn't move any further.

"Do you think you can forgive me?"

"I already have, Henry. I know you didn't do it on purpose or to hurt me. We were so young and now as an adult I somehow unterstand why you acted that way...but that's not the point. The problem is to forget and to trust you again."

He nodded slowly. "I understand that, Kat. Just give me a second chance, okay?"

She took a deep breath. "I'll try to. But I need time. Time to get used to you, to the whole situation."

"Sure." And then he pulled her into a hug that felt right and wrong at the same time and left her dizzy and with a racing heart. "I won't let you down again, Kat." Oh how she wished she could believe his whispered words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

tbc

#rpf #henry cavill rpf #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill x ofc #friends to lovers #slow burn #henry cavill slow burn #henry cavill friends to lovers #friends to lovers fic #slow burn fic

[spotofimagines]

Rivals Last ~ Jadon Sancho

A/N: So I had this in my drafts before he signed with man united but that's fine, we move, we adapt. A third piece for the @footballffbarbiex summer challenge. Hope you enjoy it :)

Warnings: none - reader is female

Summary: You love both your brothers dearly, but being in the football world with them can make some things a little complicated.

gif by @archivesbvb - gif by @ermuellert - gif by @italynt

Being a footballer meant living in a special world. Being in a footballing family meant living in a special world too. Being the younger sister of Lucas and Theo Hernandez meant living in a really special world. But nobody told you just how crazy it would be for all three of those things to apply to you.

You truly love watching your older brothers play football. They teach you something new during every match you see; even though you play as a striker, their movements and handling of the ball always inspire you to play better. After all, it was their defensive skills that helped you become a good goal scorer growing up since they never let a tackle go unchallenged in the park and you had to find out how to manoeuvre around them. A lot easier said than done.

Currently Lucas is signed with Bayern Munich. In his time there so far, he has learnt the heritage, history, and importance of wearing the badge and defending its honour in every match they play, especially derbies. Having supported Lucas, it quickly became easy for you to support Bayern Munich too and celebrate their victories like it was your own team. You'd always managed to do it with the clubs both your brothers played for, letting the atmosphere of the fanbase carry you away.

You have just finished your second season in England with Manchester City women's team. You'd settled in nicely now, having learnt a lot of the English language and culture already. The experience was made so much easier because of the help given by your welcoming teammates and the staff that translated things into French and Spanish during your first months there.

Fans were a little disappointed during the 2019 summer transfer window when it was confirmed all three Hernandez siblings would be leaving Spain to play separately in England, Germany and Italy, joking that no one could know what might happen with you all so far away. However, to you, it made things easier, as Lucas and Theo would stop making so many awful jokes about each other's clubs, only to join forces to diss your club even more afterward. Now the only connection you have to the clubs you all play for is the want for your sibling to win with them. And it is a great feeling. A welcome change of pace.

But no new change to your life felt as good as your blossoming "relationship", situationship, whatevership, you have with Jadon Sancho.

It all started with you flirting back and forth on social media, which turned itself into countless hours of DMs no one else could see. You congratulated his goals and he congratulated your wins. All the light-hearted teasing and the warm-hearted compliments stayed in your own little bubble. The only thing peeking out was your silly inside rule that if you were going to comment on a post, it had to be emojis only, stretching to a few words if you really couldn't help yourself - but it would earn you taunts from the other for the rest of the night.

Some eagle-eyed fans noticed how you'd been liking each other's posts every time they appeared for a while now, but it just added to the fun and thrill you got from flirting with him so much.

You weren't meant to be forming a bond with Jadon. He played for your brother’s rival. He was supposed to be the enemy. Someone you should dislike with a snap of your fingers. Certainly not a boy to fall for like you have.

You couldn't help yourself. Lucas and Theo had helped you since you moved to England by being the steady rocks they always were, cheering you on from afar. Your new teammates had helped you since you moved to England by introducing fun things for you all to do together and taking you under their wings. But Jadon had helped you in a different kind of way. He gave you a new kind of comfort and reassurance when you talked. He became someone to turn to with all your interesting news and your curious problems. He told you the good places to visit around the city that he remembered from his time there and taught you English slang to make your teammates laugh. You spoke three languages to varying degrees now, and you'd managed to pick up more German vicariously through Lucas in two years faster than Jadon had done living in Germany in four years, so you'd clue him into rude German phrases you had asked Lucas about, alongside the French and Spanish swear words he used more often than English ones now when you text. 

Even though a language barrier comes up once in a while, you have both learnt behaviours from each other and crave the contact you share. Jadon was starting to drop everything to send replies to you, a change his teammates have noticed and jokingly mock him for. Little did they know the unknown girl they joke he is smitten over is the sister of their rival.

Theo is the one in your family you usually tell about the boys you go out with; boyfriends and dates have been shared with him since you were 13 and doting on your first crush. He does the same with his girlfriends; asking advice and telling you more than you need to know at times. So, when you all went home for a bit of family time around Christmas, nothing could stop him from noticing the tell-tale signs that you had something going on. He already figured out through persistence that it was another player you were getting involved with, and his insistent questioning hasn't stopped in his search for who the player is.

But you keep it hidden from Lucas, and you don't know when you'll tell him. He has been your protector since you were kids, comforting you on sad nights when no one else was there, teaching you little secrets about how to navigate through the world, he even punched a boy who teased you once at school. The idea of telling him you were chatting romantically to another player would be trouble enough, but telling him it was a Dortmund player might just end up in another schoolground incident. You hadn't wanted Theo to know for fear he'd go dishing your dirt to Lucas, but he discovered it on his own and there was nothing you could do.

Who knows what might become of this thing you have with Jadon, and lord knows your eldest brother owns a hard as nails death stare that just might do Jadon in, but for now you actually quite like having the secret. A little mystery tucked away up your sleeve.

The rush you always get when Lucas calls your phone as you're typing a text to the Englishman,  feeling as though the first words from the other end will be shouts of how he knows everything and he'll never speak to you again for keeping it a secret, fills you with dread at times. But it never is the reason he calls, and it turns out he is just making plans or has something funny to tell you. But the way your heart thumps as you go back to texting Jadon, that is part of the chase you have to admit you enjoy.

Hardcore fans online have noticed the past few months that when you do interviews in English, the odd slang term comes up during jokes - terms you hadn't used before and stem more from London boroughs than northen towns - so speculation of how you'd learnt these things easily coincided with dating rumors.

Lucas had seen the speculation online; seen fans trying to put your interactions with the Dortmund player together through both your instagram stories and comments and the tweets you both had liked about the other. Lucas had even grown suspicious of the little questions you asked him about Germany, German phrases and his lifestyle there, not knowing why you would need nor want to know those things. But Lucas doesn't believe it. He knows that you know better to mix with a Dortmund boy.

Sometimes an older brother just doesn't get it quite right…

Soon, the chance will come to really see if your connection is something you can build on. Jadon's new signing with Manchester United has been confirmed and he will be moving back to England. It is a great opportunity to get to see him more often, rather than the odd rendezvous point or clandestine trip during small breaks in the season. You'll spend more time face to face instead of over the phone. You'll get to wake up in his bed and him in yours, without needing to sneak away from hotel rooms afterwards. You'll maybe even get to go on a proper date, just the two of you, where you can flirt across the table your joined hands rest upon. Hanging out with Jadon won't be the first time you've spent time together in person. However, getting a full day with only the two of you where you won't have to pretend you hardly know who he is, and you won't have to pretend your eyes aren't meeting across the group of people you're in - it fills your stomach with knots and butterflies.

A certain pressure has fallen off you now Jadon has no growing rivalry with Lucas, but not completely. You won't be able to take back the way their teams made the other feel in the past, but the fact there won't be more of it next season comforts you a little. The biggest thing that will hold you back from going public before the new season starts will be the media, but that is an issue you can't even begin to worry about yet. You are too caught up in the excitement of being in the same town as Jadon to care. Rumours are spinning crazier than ever about you two as some of your liked tweets about his move got reposted by sports pages and fan blogs - now joking about him being your rival instead of your brother's - and yet it didn't stop you, no longer all that bothered about keeping a low profile now you both will be living away from Lucas. If he gets mad, all he will be able to do is shout down the phone, and whilst you never want that to happen, you know the time to flourish with Jadon and capitalise on the foundation you have already built is better than ever, brothers be damned.

There are big changes coming for the both of you, yet one thing will remain the same no matter the outcome of your relationship. You can't quite stop being football rivals.

#jadon sancho #lucas hernandez #theo hernandez #jadon sancho imagine #jadon sancho x reader #football #football imagine #oneshot #my fic #my og post

[lelenoir]

pairings: childhood friend!dong sicheng x reader [ft. wong yukhei]

word count: 3.6k

synopsis: wherein sicheng always thought that he would spend the rest of his life with you. only to be smacked with the bitter truth.

dedicated to: engel @jenoir, the no to my noren.

inspired by: the song it's over, isn't it? from steven universe

note: hellooo finally got this out after rotting away for days hehe. anyways i hope you like it!! it'll probably be my last fic for a while since school and stuff and also my other blog. this was supposed to be a small drabble but i guess the universe had other plans KSKSK

DONG SICHENG ALWAYS LOVED YOU.

It was always written in his stars, always engraved in stone and he always believed that the moment he laid eyes on you he was struck by Cupid's bow and arrow. Of course, he never noticed this until later on.

It happened in your local playground. The tall---at least in his standard---five year old boy buzzing with joy as he rode his bike across the street. His hair flowed freely with the wind as he fought the urge to raise his hands up. Legs pedalling as if he was in a race against the fastest cyclists around the globe. The world blurred in his vision, pure bliss coursing through his veins. As a toddler, he didn't want that moment to end.

Unable to contain it any longer, the boy slowly let go of the handles, ghosting the rubber for a few more moments until he finally decided to let it go. For him, in his toddler state of mind, nothing could compare to the feeling he felt that moment. The street of his small childhood town zooming all around him as he let the world's breath engulf him. It looked like what Luke Skywalker saw whenever he drove a spaceship in that movie his brother always watched.

The moment only lasted for five seconds. It all happened so fast. One minute he was on top of the world, the next he was tumbling down fast. The ground hitting him hard. His hands were quick to hold on to his wounded knee as soon as he landed, eyes closed from the pain and a strong hiss leaving his lips. Tears welled up in his eyes as he watched the blood on his exposed flesh. He groaned when he tried to touch it.

"That was stupid." Three simple words. One simple statement. And you had his whole attention on you. Eyes wide from shock but you mistake it as confusion. "What you did. That was stupid." You repeated as if he was dumb. A dull look rested on your eyes as you looked down on him. It took him by surprise when he saw your extended arms in front of him. He couldn't help but gawk at the gesture. "What? Aren't you gonna take it?"

Slowly, he did. Gulping slightly as he stood up, wincing once he felt the sting of his wound. "It's just a graze. Nothing serious." You spoke up once again. His eyes looking towards your face, only to see you staring at his knee. "Do you need help walking?" You asked, finally meeting his gaze.

He was speechless. He'd never talked to anyone that wasn't his brother or his classmates. He rarely ever talked to the girls in his class, in fear of the disease his brother dubbed as cooties.

"You okay?" You quirk an eyebrow at him, making him flinch up in alertness. His hands felt slightly clammy as he clenched and unclenched them.

"Yeah…" he trailed off, voice barely a whisper. He saw you break into a smile. It shook him to the core. Especially with how intimidating you've presented yourself to be. He didn't know why but he wanted to see it again.

"So… walk?" You asked once more. It was like a switch had been turned on inside of you. Sicheng felt a bit confused on what to feel about the current change in aura as he slightly nodded his head in reply. You hummed, nodding your head once as you made your way to his fallen bike. You pulled it up with such ease. Even he had a difficult time carrying the heavy thing. You steadied the bike with your hands, walking to him as you let the bike trail next to you. "Where do you live?"

Sicheng should've felt embarrassed. After all, a girl, of all people, was walking him home. Him. It should've been the other way around. He felt like an utter loser having tears threatening to spill from his eyes while a girl carried his bike for him. He sighed, preparing himself for his brother's endless teasing.

"What's your name?" He spoke up, halfway through the walk. So far none of you thought of initiating into another conversation, basking in each other's company in the form of silence. "I'm Sicheng, Dong Sicheng."

You didn't even flinch at his question. "Y/n" you replied, eyes never leaving the path ahead until you turned your head to look at him for a second before turning back once again. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, y/n." Maybe it was his pea sized brain or just his lack of comprehension but you clearly didn't want to start a conversation. "What school do you go to? I don't think I've ever seen you around."

"I'm homeschooled." You answered. "My mom teaches me." Sicheng gaped at the revelation, never ever meeting someone like you.

"That's so cool!" He exclaimed. "I wish I was homeschooled. That way I won't have to wake up too early just to get to school."

You only hummed in reply, ready to fall back into your comfortable silence. Sicheng suddenly gasped. "That means you don't get to see other kids!" He says it like it was the biggest breakthrough of the century. "Doesn't it get very lonely?" He laid his head to the side in question.

"Not really," you shrugged, "I'm kind of used to it."

He gasped once again. "You shouldn't though."

"'Life isn't always what you expect it to be.' is what my mom told me a lot. I guess I just preferred to accept it rather than dwell on it too much." You explained, keeping your expression as undecipherable as possible. It drove five year old Sicheng's brain crazy.

"Then I'll be your friend." He declared, pointing his thumb on his chest. "Heck, I'll be your best friend!" He shouts joyfully.

Your eyes widened at his words, not really used to such enthusiasm. Still, a small smile cracked on your features once again. He didn't know if you saw it but Sicheng felt his eyes beam up at the sight of it. You nodded your head. "Okay."

A proud smile adorned the little boy's face, not minding his previous concerns as he walked alongside you. The wound still hurt from walking but his mind seemed to have flown elsewhere, its current occupation slightly numbing the pain of his nerves.

You were the coolest girl he's ever met.

DONG SICHENG LOVED YOU UNKNOWINGLY.

Barefaced and a little tired, you laid your body down on the grass next to him. You sighed, eyes up the stars as Sicheng took it all in. Not the night sky but you. A content smile on his features as he indulged himself with your presence.

"First day of school…" you breathed out. "I wonder how everything would turn out."

He noticed the way your fingers toyed amongst themselves, saw how your breathing slowly turned erratic. In all the years Sicheng has known you, this is the first time he's ever seen you this nervous. Tomorrow was the start of highschool for the both of you. For Sicheng, he wasn't nervous. Maybe a small bit but that was normal as first day jitters. You, on the other hand, were a different story. It was your very first time coming to school after being sheltered by your mom for so long. Sure she never intended it and it was mostly your refusal to go to school that made her teach you in the first place, but none of that helped calm your nerves.

A billion questions rang in your head. A billion possibilities playing along with it. You were in a whirlpool of your own thoughts and you were gasping for air.

Luckily, Sicheng was there to pull you out. His hand intertwining with yours as he drew circles to calm you down. He knew that always calmed you. He felt your body relax next to him. A good sign. He smiled at his small accomplishment.

"Don't worry," he tightened his hold on your palms but not to the point where it would hurt. Only to make you feel his presence more. "I'll be right here."

Highschool rolled in as normally as it could. You were nervous as you walked down the halls but you kept your face relaxed. Sicheng's presence next to you adds up to your ease as he tries to tell you as much as he can about school. Still, knowing Sicheng, he wasn't really as social and loud as he was with you. In these halls he tried to put up a mask for your sake. He smiled at unfamiliar people, nodded his head whenever they greeted him and even said a few 'hi's and 'hello's just to ease your doubt.

With that you smiled. And god he would never get tired of that sight. For a moment the two of you didn't move. For a moment it was just you and him. For a moment he let himself fall for you. He wished he could stay there with you, not a care in the world as he held on to your gaze. He thanked the stars for bringing you to him.

Sadly, even that moment had to end.

He was never one for crowds but seeing your guarded position and tense posture made him want to assure you that everything was going to be okay. He offered you an assuring smile which you returned gratefully.

The bell rang, snapping the both of you back to reality. He took your hand in his, drawing circles on it like he always did. "Your class is here. If you need me I'm right across your room." He said pointing towards the wooden door a few feet away. Just then, he enveloped both his hands around yours. "I'm always here, okay?"

You sighed in relief. A firm smile on your lips as you nodded. "Okay."

With that, he lets you go. He stepped back from you, waiting for you to walk in. You straightened up your posture before turning around. You closed your eyes, preparing yourself for whatever was on the other side of the door. Counting the seconds in your head before walking inside.

Sicheng smiled proudly at your back. He waited until you turned to your left towards the chairs before he too went on his way.

You've watched plenty of teen movies to know that you should never pick the seat in front. You looked around the unfamiliar faces of the people in the room. Some eyed you curiously while most had their head on their arms, presumably asleep. You couldn't blame them, it was the first period of the first day of school. All those times running around or sleeping in during the summer before suddenly getting thrusted into school was probably annoying.

You claimed your spot by the second to the last chair by the window. You rested your cheek on the palm of your hand as you looked out, admiring the sky and the gray roads.

"Hey there," a voice spoked up. You lifted your head to see a boy. He had a big beaming smile on his face as he settled his things on the chair next to you. "I'm Xiaojun."

You watched him curiously, pursing your lips for a second before turning your gaze back to the window. "Y/n."

DONG SICHENG REALISED HE LOVED YOU WAY TOO LATE.

He often wondered if he could change it. Always counted the different ways, the different scenarios and outcomes everything would've led to. He spent many nights figuring out how he got to this path. This path that he desperately wanted to stray from. Alas, he could never. Life was a road barricaded by formidable iron walls. Once you step on to one path, the other one closes, locking you in.

He waited for you in the halls, by the door of your Psych class. The both of you were in college now. He shifted his footing before turning to the small window on the door, peeking for just a glimpse of you.

It felt weird. He thought to himself, watching you smile from ear to ear at whatever your classmates were saying. It felt like only yesterday when he met you. Closed off and very reserved. It felt so surreal not being the only person to have broken down your walls. For Sicheng, he wasn't jealous. The opposite actually. He felt proud. He loved seeing you with the company of others and loved the way you managed to grow.

Just then, you met his eyes. He smiled, lifting his hand up in a small wave. And there it is. That smile. The one only he could cause. The smile that was reserved only for him. He felt his heart pound in his chest.

One of your classmates pulled your focus away from him. Your features reverted to that easy smile you gave everyone else.

Sicheng felt his cheeks warm at the thought, his feet turning to rest his back on the wall next to your classroom door. He sighed, closing his eyes. He could see your smile as he did so. Flashing before his eyes like a Polaroid trapped in time. Forever displaying your face with that smile he loved so much.

The bell rang loudly across the corridors, making him jump a bit before composing himself. He felt so nervous today for some reason. Something inside him was commanding every bit of his body to leap out. He shook the nerves of his fingertips, taking the time to compose himself.

He waited for you to come out, almost bouncing in joy when you did. "You seem happy…" you tell him, "what's up?"

"Well I just finished all my assignments, got a high grade in an essay I stayed up for, and managed to get the last cheese burger at lunch today. All in all it's not a bad day." He answered cheekily. You rolled your eyes at the response but maintained a lighthearted expression. You smiled softly, the both of you maintaining a slow pace as you walked away from the door.

"Y/n!" A voice called out. You were quick to turn to the voice, Sicheng mimicking the action subconsciously. What greeted you was the sight of a tall panting boy. Sweat on the sides of his head as he tried to catch his breath. "Thank heavens I caught up to you."

Lucas lifted his head up, a playful smile on his face as he looked up at you. Sicheng felt his breath get caught on his throat. A nervous and unsettling feeling resting on the pit of his stomach. He didn't like this. Not one bit.

"Lucas! What a surprise." Sicheng snapped his head towards you, a subtle look of disbelief as he noticed your smile. It wasn't like the others and it wasn't the one that was for him. This was different. Your cheeks were tucked to the highest point below your eyes, face beaming with delight. Happier. Lucas wasn't any different either. A small yet noticeable pink dust spread all across his face. His gaze focused solely on you as if in a trance.

Lucas breathed to his nose, bowing his head a bit before returning back to you. "Are we still going on Friday?" He asked, hopeful.

Sicheng could visibly see you elate with his words. His jaw clenched subconsciously as your whole face grew brighter. No. His palms grew hotter on his sides, his heart pounding nervously as he held on to your next words.

"Sure." And just like that, he felt his heart ache. His previous mood going down in the slumps in an instant. Still, he held his head up high. His face stoic and unwavering. From afar you wouldn't have noticed the storm in his eyes.

"That's great," He heard Lucas sigh in relief. They make eye contact for a brief moment, both of them narrowing at one another before breaking it abruptly. You fail to notice the quick exchange, wrapping your arms around Sicheng's and already pulling him away.

"See you on Friday!" You called out over your shoulder.

Right. Sicheng shouldn't fret. He is your best friend. He's known you ever since you caught him that fateful day with his bicycle. Lucas stood nothing against him when it came to you. He was confident. The air around him lightened as you rested your head on whatever part of his arm you could reach.

"I missed hanging out with you." You whispered. He knew you weren't looking at him. It was a habit of yours to avoid his gaze whenever you grow sentimental. "You're my best friend yet I feel like you're worlds away from me now." You continued. "We're okay, right?"

Sicheng turned to look at you, watching your face contort to a frown. He sighed. He shifted your bodies so the two of you faced each other. He took his arm out of yours before resting both of his palms on your cheeks. "We're okay. Okay?" You smiled sheepishly at his words, nodding your head. He pushed you to his chest, hugging you tightly. You could slightly hear his heartbeat relax, making you sigh. "You're my best friend. We've been through hell and back together. I don't think anything would change that."

He's fine. He assures himself. There had been plenty of guys before Lucas. Plenty that you have downright rejected: Xiaojun from highschool, Hendery during summer and many others after. He shouldn't be worried. In the many years he has known you, he was sure the two of you would end up together. He just needed the right moment.

Sicheng was never one to wear his heart on his sleeve. In fact, you've never actually seen him romantically with a girl. But whenever you felt down in the dumps, he was sure to give his all to you. He'd wrap you up close, shower you with attention and do everything he can to make you feel better. At the same time, Sicheng was also a very emotional kid. Oftentimes it was he who cried on your shoulders and you'd be there to listen. You were each other's support system. The very rock that keeps you grounded. From childhood and now as you both walk wherever.

This was the first time it began to collapse.

He felt the air get knocked out of his lungs, watching as the scene unfolded right before his eyes; the gleeful smile on your face, the mirroring adoration in both your gazes, and finally a chaste but unconcealable kiss. The obvious buzz of love and its first stages oozing out of the two of you and Sicheng could do nothing but watch it all happen.

Friday. He never thought he would hate a day like it. The day before the relaxation of the weekends. The day you used to come to his house for a movie marathon. The day you went back to him with the happiest smile he's ever seen on you. The day he finally lost everything.

Wong Yukhei. He clicked his tongue at the name. Jealousy growing in the deepest depths of his gut, eyes green and angry. Seeing his stupid smile and the noticeable look of triumph on his features. The boy holding you close. Then he looked at you; hair a mess because of the wind with eyes as bright as the sun.

DONG SICHENG NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU.

It was impossible. A scientific improbability. Not when you still come over during the weekends. Not when you still give him that smile. Not when you hold him so close that for a moment he fools himself to thinking it was all real. Not even when he raised his glass.

He glared at the small box on his hands. Tears brimming his eyes. He felt like he just crashed his bike all over again. Only this time, you weren't there to walk him home.

"A toast," he started, the low baritone of his voice grabbing everyone's attention, "to the newly wed couple, Y/n & Lucas."

It felt painful. Perhaps, the strongest pain he's ever felt. Years ago, he never saw this coming. He was fine. He was fine with all the other men that came into your life. Mostly because he knew no one could've compared to him and the bond you shared. He knew all your favorite movies, all your pet peeves, and everything that made you scared. Yet, he wasn't the one standing by your side right now. He wasn't the groom, the man you were going to spend your life with. He wasn't that.

"It's a miracle how you've managed to put up with her." It was a joke. "Lord knows I barely could." And another one. "Still, she's a very great person." That was real. "And I'm glad she's found someone to spend the rest of her days with." He was not. "We've spent the majority of our lives together as best friends. The day you helped me with my bike was the best day of my life. Lucas, you better take care of her or else." He warned jokingly, glaring playfully at the boy as he chuckled in reply and nodded his head. Sicheng could barely hold it in. "To the Wongs!"

And that was the end. A series of cheers and holler followed right after. You smiled at him and he could do nothing but return it. He watched you turn to Lucas and beam brighter. He sighed.

He wandered out, past the crowd of overjoyed relatives and friends. He pushed the balcony doors open, letting it fall to a close. The first drops of his sorrows slipping down carelessly and he did nothing to wipe them off. The wine in his glass reflected his pitiful expression and all he could do was stare before putting it down hastily. He didn't like the sight. It was over. It was all over. Isn't it?

He felt a strong pang in his chest and he found it hard to breath. He looked over disdainfully at the floor, fist clenched to his sides.

Why can't I move on?

#nct-writers #wayvhoursnet #starryktown #kpopscape #neothestars #dong sicheng imagines #dong sicheng #dong sicheng x reader #winwin imagines #nct winwin #winwin x reader #nct angst #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 #wayv imagines #wayv angst #wayv #wong yukhei imagines #wong yukhei #lucas wong x reader

[laceymorganwrites]

you've been on tumblr for THREE YEARS????? that's kinda insane omg i could barely commit to my anime account for a few months and now im thinking about making a new account for just my writing in general, like a writeblr 😭 how's ur day been, love? - 💛

ik ik✌😞

kinda sad too but oh well

I mean writing´s always been my biggest hobby but you know me, I never have original ideas...so I just stick to fanfic instead of writing something real

It´s fun, don´t get me wrong...but 3 years on this hellsite just....took their toll I guess. I´ve been around so long that I remember the hq fandom not being toxic, that I remember the times where you didn´t have to have a theme or banners, that I remember the old tags

it´s kind of sad since I´m so behind on times and not relevant anymore but still here, so desperately trying to keep up. but what for?

honestly who the fuck even cares at this point?

I mean I don´t even check my dash anymore cause seeing other ppl being happy and getting so much praise and interaction just brings me down so much

and I just

don´t get as many requests anymore

I´m just idk, existing??

and yes, writing is finally fun again and I can´t wait to show everyone the things I´ve wriiten...for fandoms nobody cares about.

I never wanted to be popular or anything, I just wanted people to be happy when they read my stuff. Idk if I achieved that. I think I did because some told me so, but I´m just so stuck on my self hatred and insecurities that I can´t appreciate it

because in my pov nothing I do is ever good enough and I don´t deserve good things

now, rationally I know that´s not true but it´s been tough

I just miss the old times where I just posted things and was like: fuck it, maybe someone likes it

though I have to say: my writing improved A LOT!!! and I´m really proud of that. I´m also proud that I´m running my blog the way I want to, it´s more fun this way

I´d rather write something no one reads than write something that doesn´t inspire me for someone else

me: yeah I´m not gonna post any negative stuff anymore

also me: 

okay but honestly, starting a blog is fun. you´re gonna get a lot of interaction and people will love your stuff! So I definitely support your decision. Just...don´t end up like me. I really hope that it´s going to be fun for you!

also my day´s going good! I´m gonna cosplay now for the first time in months (depression and mean comments made me stop doing it) and I´m looking forward to it!

otherwise I have smth to post for the ogs of this blog that I hope they´ll like: I´m continuing story of the sad!!

um yeah, I hope I didn´t bring u down too much with this...I´m really sorry if I did

also u have my whole heart 🥺

#answers from the chef #ace´s friends #💛 anon #i´m so sorry this is long #and kinda sad lol #i swear i´m doing good tho!

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - Imagineteamfreewill

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Meg

Age: 20s

Location: United States

URL: @imagineteamfreewill

Why did you choose your URL: I first started out structuring my stories as imagines, and the “Team Free Will” part was pretty obvious.

What inspired you to become a writer: Reading Supernatural fanfiction inspired me to get back into writing, but I’ve always enjoyed it. My mom likes to talk about how when I was in Kindergarten, I drew a picture about how I wanted to be an author and now I write in my free time.

How long have you been writing: According to tumblr, I’ve been writing fanfiction since 2014, but I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember.

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I’m a music teacher, so I sing and play piano, and I’ve played a bit of cello and tenor saxophone as well. I love movies, baking, sleeping, and a few video games.

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? I joined sometime around Season 8 or 9, I think. I don’t really remember!

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? I really enjoy Marvel and I’ve read a lot of Marvel fics, but I don’t write for them. I like a lot of TV shows (New Girl, Parks and Rec, The Good Place, Outlander, etc), but I wouldn’t consider myself part of the fandom.

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? I love to write poetry. I had a poetry blog at truenorth-ink a while ago, but I haven’t updated it recently at all. Most of my poems aren’t published or posted anywhere.

Favorite published author: I love some of the early series by Rick Riordan and I also really enjoy poetry by Nikita Gill and Atticus. Lately, I've really been getting into Leigh Bardugo's books.

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: I think "East" by Edith Pattou really affected me! I read it when I was in 6th-8th grade and I think about it often. I think it's something that really stuck with me and got me interested in fantasy books so much. I read it at least once a year.

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): I love angsty stuff, and most of the time I prefer it when it has some fluff mixed in. Straight fluff is often hard for me to read because I need something that’s more realistic for my own life and point of view. I also really like whump, but that can be a lot sometimes so it depends on my mood.

Favorite piece of your own writing: I don’t know if I have a favorite, but I loved writing Back to the Start (my mermaid series) and The Switch (a canon-divergent apocalyptic Reader x Sam series). Right now, I'm really enjoying my Consort series (a Goddess!Reader x Dean series). Creating my own rules in my own little universes is one of my favorite things to do, especially since I can’t always do whatever I want in real life.

Most underrated fic you have written: Empire. I loved getting to write Boyking!Sam because it was so different from my normal Sam stories and I did a lot of research for it. I’m pretty proud that the story never got too bloody or gory, too, so if you want some Boyking!Sam that’s not drenched in blood (for lack of a better term), I’m your girl!

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Probably Back to the Start or The Switch. I think those two series would be amazing to see with J2, the rest of the cast/characters I included, and special effects! There’s so much I’d want to explore with both of them that I didn’t put into the series.

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): @luci-in-trenchcoats, @sunlightdances, @supernaturalfreewill, @lipstickandwhiskey, @smol-and-grumpy, @percywinchester27, and @kaz2y5-imagines

Favorite fic from another writer:  I don’t think I could pick just one, but I’ve read all of @sunlightdances Dean fics multiple times. Her works got me through some pretty sucky times in my life and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of her writing! I’ve also been reading her Bucky fics recently and it’s made me love Marvel fics even more than before!​

Favorite character to write: Sam Winchester

Favorite Pairing to write: Reader x Sam (Reader x Dean is a close second)

Least favorite character to write (and why): I don’t like to write for Crowley or Gabriel. Gadreel is hard for me even though I can do it, but I don’t understand Crowley or Gabriel’s personalities at all because they’re literally so far away from mine.

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? No, although @lipstickandwhiskey and @kaz2y5-imagines really encouraged me in my writing!​

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I would love to write a non-Supernatural work of fiction to publish, but that’s a long way off.

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Oh Lord, I have so many! I have at least four series and two one shots in the works right now. I've also got over 100 one shots/series plotlines written out in the notes on my phone and various Google Docs.

What are you currently working on? I’m currently working on a Cinderella series, my Underworld series, my Puer Rex series, my Consort series, an Author!Sam fic, and an Author!Dean fic. I also write stories for my Words series now and again.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Reading other people’s work. The intense storylines of @luci-in-trenchcoats ’s fics have gotten me to be more bold with my writing and the emotions and description in @supernaturalfreewill’s works have inspired me to let my work have more feeling.

Best writing advice you've been given: Not necessarily writing advice, but I was once told that anything worth doing is worth doing at least a little bit every day. Think about it—if you wrote even just five minutes a day, how much better will you get over the course of a month? A year?

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Repetition of words and commas. So many commas and so many uses of the same word over and over again. It’s a hard balance between using the word and using synonyms without sounding like I’m sitting there googling synonyms for “said”. I also tend to spend a lot of time on things that I think are super important but aren’t really important in the long run. I’m wordy as hell and my writing would be dull if I didn’t edit it as thoroughly as I do.

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? A lot of times I have these ideas that I think would make a great series but I don’t think through them, so planning out the plot of a series (or even a standalone fic) beforehand is something I struggle with.

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I would love to write more fics that have the characters dealing with severe mental disorders or that take place in a mental hospital, but I’m afraid that I’ll portray something wrong and solidify harmful stereotypes about what it’s like to deal with those things.

What inspires/motivates you to write: Honestly, just wanting to write things that I enjoy. Sometimes I get sick of reading other peoples’ stuff since it’s not exactly what I want, so I just write my own!

How do you deal with self doubt: Understand that sometimes it happens. You’ll doubt yourself—everybody does. If I’m doubting myself or my writing, I’ll take a break until I remember why I write. Then I’ll remember that yeah, writing for an audience is fun, but I write because I have cool ideas I want to explore, not because I need the attention or love of strangers. Lastly, I’ll reread my old fics, especially the ones I love, and then I’ll go back and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. That way I can see how I’ve improved and I don’t feel so terrible anymore! Reading my own fics is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, and I’ll read through my masterlists every once a while just to remind myself of the things I’ve loved, where I’ve been, and where I’m going.

How do you deal with writer's block: Like I said, I reread old fics and edit old fics that I haven’t looked at in a while. Seeing the things I’ve done before always helps to focus me. I’ll also read other people’s stuff or talk about headcanons with some friends to try and find some inspiration.

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: Lately I have been, but only because my periods of intense inspiration and productivity are getting farther and farther apart because of my job. I’ve found planning it out to be more and more helpful, especially for my series. A lot of times if I get a great idea, I’ll outline the whole plot or any significant details I want to put in that one shot/series so that I can come back to it whenever I have the time or I’m inspired for it again.

Do you have any weird writing habits: I write best in places that are unfamiliar to me or in places/times where I shouldn’t be writing. Class? Writing. Airport terminal? Writing. 4am when I have to be up at 6? Writing.

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? Not that I remember! I feel like there’s probably been one or two over the years, but I probably just got upset about it with my friends for a while and then got over it.

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? A long time ago, when I was writing Back to the Start, I had one person who sent me asks for every single series update. I screenshotted them and saved them on my laptop. There’s one particular one where they say that they’re happier because of my writing and honestly, isn’t that what we all strive for? That people’s lives are better because of our stories? I’ve also had some pretty great friends recently who’ve made it a point to reblog and send asks/messages on all my works, which has been so meaningful that I never replied to the asks. They’re sitting in my inbox and I go through and reread them sometimes when I’m feeling down.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be?  ​Write down everything. If you come up with an amazing piece of dialogue, even if it’s just one sentence or one person talking, or if you come up with something you’d think would be a great title… WRITE IT DOWN. It doesn’t matter if it fits into whatever you’re currently writing or not, it’ll come in handy! I don’t know how many times I’ve gone through my idea list and found really obscure lines/titles/inspiration that didn’t make sense when I wrote them down, but are now exactly what I need to finish a fic. Even if you don’t end up using it, jotting down your ideas is still writing, and that’s good practice!

#pond diving #spnfanficpond