#you've got sucker's luck

[rotzaprachim]

songs that i am THINKING about with andor

#exile exile you've got sucker's luck have you given up? like fuck. fuck oh the way that disposession and exile is this repeated theme in #this show #cassian andor

[whispereons]

Oracle!Reader Part 1

Masterlist - Part 2

A light zap of electricity made your cheek tingle, urging you awake. Sleepily, you opened your eyes and were greeted with a rundown room with no furniture. The strange sight woke you up immediately and you sat up.

What the hell? This isn't your home, fuck, this doesn't even look like somewhere in your city!

As you surveyed the surroundings with more urgency, thoughts of the day before came to mind.

----------------------------------------

You were only supposed to drop off the money from the scams to your boss. Your forte wasn't fighting yet when you entered the rundown building, there was tension in the air.

Your boss glowered at the woman across the room. Before you could even ask one of your coworkers what's happening, guns were drawn. In less than 5 seconds the building became a mess of fighting, gun shots, and noise.

Trained instincts of running kicked in and you were already slipping past brawls trying to get to the nearest exit. The money was already dropped off, your boss couldn't hold shit against you.

Just as you got close to the window, a lanky man shoved you. You only stumbled back and raised your fists. You didn't like to fight but after years of living less than legal, you've learned how to fight long enough to escape.

In 10 minutes you were already walking down the sidewalk with bloody knuckles and a bruised foot. The other guy must be worse since you threw him into the window before escaping.

It's just your luck that a police car pulls up beside you. Stopping, you flash a smile to the officer as he rolls down the window.

"Sorry to bother you so late but I noticed that you're a little hurt. Do you need me to bring you to a hospital?"

What he's really asking is what got you hurt, but you keep your cool and answer with cheeriness.

"It's really nothing. I was just at the bar down the street with a friend when some people started getting rowdy. They got kicked out before anyone could really get hurt but I still got a little banged up."

You point to the bar that you passed by that's in full swing. The officer eyes you for a moment before asking a follow-up question.

"And what about your friend? Where are they, are they okay?"

Your tone drops a little as you reply. "Their wonderful partner picked them up so I left. I mean it's not like I have any lover to pick me up. What can a poor single person like me do?"

The officer instantly becomes bored and says a quick goodbye before driving off. You roll your eyes at the predictable action and continue walking home. Lying has become a natural habit for you and you've become damn good at it.

You finally get home to your shitty studio apartment in the seedy part of the city. Locking the door, you trudge to your computer as you ignore the screams from other apartments. You boot it up and start eating the cheap fast food you picked up.

First you check on the scam ads you posted to see which poor sucker fell for it. You forward the card information to another coworker and consider yourself done with work for the day.

Were you a bad person for being a scam artist? Yeah. Did you wish that you could have a normal job that doesn't involve hurting people? Hell yeah. Have you ever been able to? Nope.

You click the little Paimon app to run Genshin to distract yourself from those meaningless thoughts. You've been stuck in those loops long enough to know it's useless to dwell on them.

The mindless commissions are just what you need to relax. You smile at the sight of Bennett's idle before farming for the most annoying materials; Handguards.

You finish combing through most of the Inazuma islands before teleporting to Seirai Island. The statue of the seven heals your party from any damage that occurred.

Leaning back in your chair, you stretched your arms, sighing as the tension is released from your body. Deciding to turn in for the night, you exit out of Genshin.

Well, you tried at least.

No matter how many times you clicked, it just wouldn't exit. Brushing it off as a bug, you just shut down the device.

Instead of shutting down, the screen showed the doors to Celestia. With no prompt, the doors opened and the white flash shined into your eyes.

Cringing at the harsh light you waited for it to stop.

It didn't.

It got brighter and brighter before it completely enveloped you.

--------------------------

Feeling more awake after remembering, you look around the house. Other than the creaky bed you were on, nothing else was in the house. You stand up and nearly trip over a bag at your feet.

Opening it, you find nothing but you decide to take it just in case. That's when you notice that your knuckles are completely healed. No blood, bandages or pain.

You check your body and see that although scars have remained, all your minor cuts and bruises have healed without a trace. Feeling creeped out you try to leave the house. The nearly broken door takes a good amount of strength to push open but you do and stumble out.

The sight of purple thundering skies, floating rocks, and a statue of the seven shocks you. You stumble on the squeaky plants and hard cobblestone as you get closer to the edge.

White trees with purple leaves, blue grass and Naku Weed surround the ground. It's the same area where you tried to log off. There was no way you were in Genshin Impact; Shit like this only happens in fiction.

Hallucination, death, dream, or pulled into a fictional world. Your mind whirls those four possibilities. You stomp on what should have been your bruised foot. It's painful, but not as much as a bruised foot.

With death and dream off the list you walk to the small tree with purple leaves. An Otogi tree, your mind helpfully supplies. You press a hand against the bark and feel the leaves carefully. The sensation is too real and you're too steady to be hallucinating.

You must really be in Tevyat. You were never attached to Earth but being suddenly thrust here is still a bit jarring. You look at the statue of the seven and contemplate your next decision.

From what you remember, anyone who isn't from Teyvat should be allowed to take elemental power from the statue. Biting your lip you approach the statue and place a hand on the gold accessories.

You marvel at how the statue glows at your presence but when you look at your hands, you feel no difference. It seems you wouldn't be a main character in this world either.

Shrugging it off, the excitement of actually being in Teyvat started to well up inside you. You walk down the desecrated dirt and cobblestone path as you admire Seirai Island.

While walking you freeze at the sight of two Fatui soldiers at a camp. You could fight people and escape, but Fatui soldiers? Fuck no. You didn't plan to die this fast.

You sneak along the houses to your left all while trying to remember Seirai's layout. If you wanted to survive in this world, you would need to get to civilization. You needed a boat cause there was no way in hell you were swimming in water that could be struck with lightning at any moment.

You follow the left path that seems to lead to the shore. Fuck, a mirror maiden is walking the same path right towards your direction. With some fast thinking and only a small dose of panic, you scale the rocks on your right.

They were thankfully small enough that your minor skills could be utilized well enough. Breathing heavily, you lay down on the soft blue grass. You close your eyes and open them swiftly at something tingly but smooth on your nose.

It's an electro Crystalfly. Purple and beautiful. You lay there mesmerized before it flies off gently. You stand up in a daze and struggle not to blindly follow it.

You walk along the cliff's edge while being careful not to fall. You can't risk going onto the grass in fear of a spector chasing you. Yet another thing that can end your new life.

Once far away enough from the mirror maiden, you slowly climb down and feel relieved at not breaking a bone. The path splits into two and you contemplate which one would lead to the Waverider.

Logically you know the chance of the waverider working for you was small, but the chance of you finding an intact boat was even smaller. Your train of thought is broken by the sounds of machines whirring from the right path.

You curse yourself and start sprinting down the left path to get away. Forgetting the existence of Ruin Sentinels almost cost you your life, but due to your panic, you almost sprinted straight into a different Ruin Sentinel.

Skidding to a stop, you hastily walk around it while sweating bullets. Thankfully it didn't notice you and you praise your good luck. You walk more alert to the waverider but stop at the teleport waypoint.

Out of simple curiosity, you touch the teleport structure. It glows similar to how it did in the game. But instead of red turning blue, the blue turned gold.

A smile forms on your face as your mind races with the possibilities that this could mean. Excitedly, you run to the waverider and touch it. Its blue turns gold and a boat is summoned onto the water.

It's not the same boat as the travelers, in fact you would even say it's better. Climbing into your boat you marvel at how much space it has. There is a small screen in the middle with a handprint.

There is no steering wheel or any other controls. You put your hand on it and say the first island that comes to mind. "Take me to Kannazuka Island."

The boat begins to move and you sit down on the couch. The whole boat feels luxurious to the point where you feel out of place; as if you're the sole piece of dirt on it.

But you don't have to be trash anymore. This world is kinder to people that couldn't finish school or can't stay in one spot. You wanted to try a normal job, maybe set up a stall or shop. Work as a normal, legal worker, or even become an adventurer. If reckless Pallas could do it, surely you could.

No more lying, no more crime.

The boat stops and you get off as you try to remember which part of the island you stopped at. There's a waverider and a teleport waypoint close together. That's on the right side of the Tatarasuna also known as the place where Kunikuzushi died and became Scaramouche.

After tapping both the waverider and teleport waypoint, you walk closer to the main part of the island. You remember farming this place for the handguards which explains why there is no Nobushi.

After passing the broken down ship part, you spot a tree with lavender melon. Excitedly and with hunger you get close and pick the lowest hanging fruit.

It's juicy and unlike any fruit you've eaten before. Which isn't a lot since fruit is expansive. You stroll down the shore as you finish the fruit.

You recognize the area on the left as a place where a quest had a fight. Walking on it you smile at seeing it in person. It's really amazing how you're actually here. And holy shit is that Ei?

The archway made of rock that leads into Tatarasune has Ei standing right there. You freeze and your breathing slows down as you try not to be noticed.

Ei was a complex character meaning that she will cause a lot of trouble for the peaceful and lawful existence you planned to live here.

As you try to walk away casually you hear her mutter something interesting.

"I could have sworn I felt their presence somewhere here."

Ei locks eyes with you making you freeze. You should greet her with her long ass title but there was no way you remembered that. Instead you give a small bow and speak politely.

"Please forgive my intrusion. I hope I haven't-"

"How dare you."

"I'm sorry wha-"

"Who are you? Which nation are you from? How dare you show such disrespect toward Their Holiness?!"

Her glare is firm and her voice grows louder. Gaping at the sudden hostility, you take a step back when she starts to pull out her Musou-no-something.

Ei's words are barely registered in your brain as you scramble for a way to escape.

"Someone with the same face as the creator is an anomaly. No one has ever been born with their face yet you, a mere human mortal, has it. I shall sacrifice you to them for impersonating the creator's image."

It's like her one track mind as a soldier has taken over Ei again. You yell the first thing that comes to mind that can help you escape while pointing behind her.

"OH MY GOD, IS THAT MAKOTO YOUR TWIN SISTER?!"

Ei freezes and immediately whips her head to look behind her. You don't hesitate to book it back to the boat.

'Just keep running, just keep running.' You sing frantically to yourself as you hear Ei chase after you. You yelp in pain when lightning starts striking your heels with every step.

She's toying with you, you realize. She wants to know how you could possibly know about her sister. She won't kill you yet but you know she won't hesitate to harm you severely.

The boat comes into view and you jump into it. The water that you splashed in, in your hurry makes your feet hurt more.

"Do you think that boat can protect you from me?"

You sit on the floor and try to think up a solution but the pain coursing through your body is hindering you. But you already know that you can't drive the boat or else she'll destroy it.

"Tell me how you know her name. How do you know her connection to me? How much more do you know about us?"

None of your regular tactics can work on her, not without risking death. You look at your lap for some kind of solution and notice your hands glowing. A small plan begins to form and instead you answer her with a distraction.

"Do you truly believe that I'm the only person alive that knows about her?"

Ei goes silent and you take advantage of the time to try to figure out what's happening with your hands. As much as you hope you gained elemental powers, you doubt that it can actually help you when an archon is trying to harm you.

You feel like spiderman as you make various hand gestures with your hands trying to figure out what the deal is with the glowing. It's the simple gesture of putting your hands together and pulling them apart that makes the glowing leave your hands and form a small screen.

"Did Celestia send you down here? Did you have a mission from them to use the Creator's form to dig up information?"

As the screen glows white and shows the Genshin Impact logo, your breath hitches. Your only hope is to let Ei draw her own conclusions from your answers as you hope your new power can help you.

"Celestia, huh? If Celestia themself took on the form of the Creator for their plans, do you think they would succeed?"

Thunder strikes louder after you say that. The logo leaves and shows the traveler on the beach in Mondstadt. You don't think about the weirdness of that before teleporting Lumine to where you are at.

"What are you implying-"

Ei's words are cut off as the sound of teleporting rings through your ears unlike the game audio has ever done before. On the screen the traveler stands next to a gold teleport waypoint with Ei nowhere to be seen. You smile at the implication.

You look out the boat and don't see Lumine there. You look back at the screen only to find it gone. You make the gesture and the screen reappears. It's only when you look away from the teleport waypoint that the screen finally loads.

Lumine is still standing next to the gold teleport waypoint. After teleporting her back to the beach you close the screen. With the Ei threat somewhat subdued, you feel safe enough to collapse on the couch.

Lazily you tell the ship to sail to Narukami Island, Ei would still come after you. Anywhere is better than your present location. An idea forms in your mind and you clarify. "Bring me to Amakane Island."

Your mind processes the information of a Creator, your resemblance, the screen, and new threats. The first step is clear as day. The little shop on Amakane Island that sells masks is your first stop.

Hello anybody that reads this. I have started another fic series. Again. There is a large chance that I'll get burnt out and not finish it. But I hope you enjoyed this. The next chapter should have what I really wanted to talk about which is Oracle!Reader.

Taglist: @vvyeislazzy, @nikqi, @the-dumber-scaramouche, @etherisy, @yourlocalstranger123, @ra404, @iruiji, @goldenglow149, @haru-tofuu, @lsleepysimpl [Edit: This chapter has been updated by my dear editor on 8/19/23]

#yandere genshin impact #whisp's amateur work #yandere genshin x reader #genshin sagau #genshin impact #yandere sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau #sagau cult au #sagau impostor au #sagau isekai #sagau ei #oracle au #yes I made that up

[bratphilia]

── ★ ˙ strawberry charm ̟ !!

note ✧.*‎  hello hello hello welcome to scream meets fnaf. randomly got this idea after rewatching scream, like, why don't i combine one both franchises in the only way i know how? william afton as ghostface coming into your house and fucking the shit out of you!! and here we are. i spent a lot more time on this than i usually do writing fics so i seriously hope ppl enjoy it. i'm also on break starting today so i'll be pumping out more content from now on going into the new year!

pairing ✧.*‎‎ steve raglan / william afton x reader

cw ✧.*‎‎ college au and scream au, reader is college aged, william is her robotics professor, ghostface!william afton, reader is girly, vibrators, multiple orgasms, perversion, mentions of stalking, descriptions of gore, choking, consensual non consent, break-in, approximately one lick to the pussy, rough sex, dumbification, glove kink, slapping, slight daddy kink, cockwarming

taglist ✧.*‎‎ @dilfity @kissingrhi @iikyutee @ghoulsgraveyard @cemeteryry @gh0stsp1d3r

synopsis ✧.*‎ a man calls you up wondering what your favorite scary movie is.

you hold back a deep sigh at the low-quality horror movie being showed on the big screen in front of you. no, it's not the most important thing in the world, to see something "cinematically excellent" every time you go to the theater, but shit, wouldn't that be nice? anyways, that's not what you're here for. you're here for a date with this guy in your robotics class, specifically. 

he's handsy, but so are you. one arm is slung around your shoulder, you're cuddled against his chest, knees drawn upwards, and his other hand coming around to rub circles on your thigh. yes, it's your first date together, after weeks of study "dates." yes, you were cuddling, very heavy emphasis on pda. what about it? it made up for this movie being fucking terrible, so why not. 

you have to laugh. nico, your date, had promised chills and shivers up your spine and hoped for your head pushed into his shoulder at the scary parts of the movie. rotten luck for him. you want to laugh at that. and you accidentally snicker, causing him to look towards you. "what?"

"oh, nothing," you say, nodding back towards the movie. 

he says nothing, thank god. 

finally, there's a good part of the movie. the main character, a ditzy blonde with big tits is tied to a tree while the film's slasher rips her boyfriend's head from his body with a chainsaw. your muscles clench, not in fear, but in delight. you've always been a sucker for gore. and fuck, it gets something else clenching too. you seriously wonder if nico can feel you throbbing when he rests his hand under your chin, gently forcing you to look at him. he leans in for a kiss. no tongue, just lips to lips. it's nice. you notice he put on chapstick and you can taste the buttery popcorn on his mouth. 

however, you're interrupted by the creaking of a chair behind you. the sound of someone getting up and leaving. you didn't pull away in time to catch their face, but the noise frankly startled you than any other part of the movie. 

the film ended shortly after that. no, the person who left never did end up returning to their seat behind you, but that had long since left your mind anyways. nico drove you home in his silver convertible, the top down creating a nice breeze through your hair. the car ride was silent but content. date successful, in your opinion, shitty movie aside. 

"well, goodnight," he says when your door is barely cracked open and you're halfway inside. you silently leaned up on your tippy toes and pecking his lips once more. you ignore the crackle of twigs in the foliage surrounding your house, blaming it on the wind. 

the door shut behinds you. you live in a campus house, but your roommates just so happen to be out of the house for the weekend. this has meant nothing but trouble for you — meaning you snuck your friend lacey's vibrator out of its drawer and had yourself some fun. over and over and over. pastel pink with a pretty bow on the hot glued on the end for decoration (the two of you might have done that together). but don't worry about how you know where her vibrator is, that's none of your business! 

while you're washing off the facial cleanser from your face in the shower as conditioner sits patiently in your hair, you think about nico. specifically whether or not you're actually interested in him. sure, he's a nice guy, romantic. bad taste in movies but clearly cares about what you like since he picked out a horror film to take you on a date to. and yet, that nagging thing in the back of your head, the one that told you not to commit to a relationship for fear of being stuck in one, had you snap back to the reality of relationships. you'll never be free to just date who you want, whenever you want. it made you frown. 

you get out of the shower eventually, still undecided about the future of your dating life, and you decide to put the topic to rest and relax with a classic: nightmare on elm street. or maybe something else? suspiria,  the thing, or evil dead? you browse your collection, and stop at freddy vs. jason. speaking of shitty horror movies and sticking to the freddy theme, you think with a smirk. 

you slip the cd into the player. super retro, i know right? 

you're popcorn'd out, to say the least, so you skip on making a bowl. your movie is interrupted shortly by the buzzing of your phone. the caller id just lists a phone number in your area. usually, you wouldn't pick these up, but you do it anyways. stupidly. 

"hello?" you call out into your phone. 

"hello." comes a man's deep voice.

you scratch your head, careful not to chip your manicure. "who is this?"

"who is this?" he mimics you, emphasis on this.

you scoff, already annoyed. probably a prank call. "i asked you first."

"look," he mediates, probably sensing your forming annoyance, "all i have is a question to ask."

"alright..." you say. nothing wrong with that. "shoot."

"what's your favorite scary movie?"

you pretend to contemplate. "hereditary," you say finally. of course it's your favorite. it's had your heart since you first saw it in theaters. anyone who knows you knows not to bring it up if they don't want to hear you go on a tangent about it. "it's the right amount of atmosphere with the right amount of gore." 

"isn't that the one where the little girl gets decapitated after slamming into a telephone from sticking her head out of a car window?" the man on the phone drawls, testing you.

"yes!" you practically exclaim. you hope you found another fan. not many other people shared your enthusiasm for the movie as you did.

he hums. "that's an interesting choice. i don't hear it enough. a little depressing, though."

"you mean you call other girls asking them what their favorite horror movie is? that's a new level of game i've never seen before," you tease, abandoning the movie to get up mindlessly and head to the bathroom to put your hair up.

"not just any girl," he says with a chuckle.

"oh?" you say, "so i'm special?"

"you could say that."

you smile, staring back at your reflection. you get it now. "you know, you could've just come inside earlier, nico. no need to put on the act."

"i'm not nico," he corrects you sternly. 

you scoff and roll your eyes, putting your device down and switching it to speaker phone so you can multitask. "right," you say, unconvinced.

you sort through your collection of hair clips, picking out the right one — "the one with the strawberry charm, huh? that one's my favorite. 's sweet like you."

you nearly drop the accessory. how the fuck? a shiver shoots up through your spine. your head snaps towards the direction of the bathroom window. searching desperately for an answer, anyone that could've just been watching. but no one's there, of course!

"that's not funny, nico," you snap. you're pretty sure you've worn this hair clip to a study date over at his apartment, right? and he might've even complimented you on it. yeah, you try to convince yourself, he's seen it before.

but that doesn't explain how he knew —

"i told you already," the man on the phone's voice is agitated, "i'm not nico."

"then who the fuck are you?!" you ask in a shrill voice, ready to hang up on this motherfucker. you steadily twist your hair upwards and secure the claw around it, letting your remaining hair fall in a ponytail.

"i'll prove it to you," he tells you as if it's the simplest thing in the world. "check the backyard."

you shockingly decide not to hang up for your sake. you would rather keep a close eye on the situation rather than just let something happen to you. you creep towards the sliding glass doors, gulp, then switch on the light, only to be met with monstrosity. 

nico's on his knees; you can hear him whimpering from inside, scrambling for his amputated arm that lies in between him and the sliding door. you open your mouth but you can't scream; the only thing you can feel is a shudder that shakes you to your very core. you feel almost weak in the knees, desperate to keep yourself standing on your two feet. there's blood, so much blood. all the backyard porch, your roommates will be so mad and concerned about what happened? how can you even begin to explain this? 

you try to do the only sane thing you can think of: hang up and call the police. the thought of this being one big prank pulled on you crossed your mind, but you were too scared not to act. a beat passes after you pressed that little red button on your phone, and the door bursts open. this time you scream. 

in a dark blur, you're pressed roughly against a mirror that frames the wall behind the dining table. a gloved hand wraps around your throat. "you stupid bitch, hanging up on me."

you meet the mask of your captor: the damn mask from that slasher movie stab. you were never particularly fond of the franchise. "lame movie reference," you manage to choke out, and you instantly eat your words. he slaps you across the face and loosens his grip at the same time, watching you fall to your side on the hard ground. 

you can barely gather your thoughts — your head is fucking swimming — before he's dragging you by your ankle with a strong grip in the direction of your bedroom. you hate how you slide so easily across the smooth floor. you try your best to break free, to run, wriggling your leg violently to shake him away to no avail. when he's dragged you successfully inside the bedroom he closes it behind you, bends down and manhandles onto lacey's bed. 

tears spill down your cheeks. this is it. you're going to die. but he doesn't take out a knife, or any weapon, actually, to fatally harm you with. instead, he's rummaging through the drawers in front of the bed. and then it dawns on you and you sit up. that's the drawer where lacey's —

"ah, found it," the man says triumphantly, turning back towards you, pastel pink vibrator in hand, toying with the ribbon. "what a cute little thing. do you know how many times i've watched you get off to this little device? what a fucking sight you make."

your eyes narrow. "who are you?"

he chuckles, then uses a hand to remove his mask, revealing the face of your robotics professor. him? how is it possible you've managed to capture his attention? when throughout the entire course he's done nothing but ignore you, treating you like you didn't exist. always ignoring your questions. shit, he's the reason why you started going to nico in the first place for help in his class: because nico was like his golden-star-student. 

"i don't get it," you say, lip trembling as tears well in your eyes. "why me? what did i do—"

"to captivate me?" he finishes your sentence, turning on the vibrator. you gulp like it's your impending doom. professor raglan kneels onto the bed and you wish you could back up but you only hit the headboard behind you. "well, for starters: you were always so eager for my attention. and it hurt me not to give it to you. couldn't blow my cover, sweetheart."

you still didn't understand, but you didn't have anymore time to contemplate or question him. he was spreading your legs, splitting open a space under your short, pink skirt for him to gain access to the area between your legs. you fumble with the sheets, holding them in a death grip. you definitely ruined your manicure. once your skirt bunches up around your hips, it reveals your panty-less mound. of course. you didn't think to wear anything after your shower because it wasn't like you were going out. 

your professor whistles lowly, pupils dilating in desire. it's perverted, the way he puts down the vibe, and grabs your hips upwards so he can get a closer look at your pussy. you throb subconsciously, making him look back up at you with a quirked brow. he leans forward to blow air on you, eyes still steady to gage your reaction. you whimper and wriggle in his grasp, face heating up in embarrassment. "you just have the cutest little cunt," he comments when he pulls away, then sticks his tongue out to lick a stripe up your pussy. "mmm, even sweeter, too. sweeter than the little strawberry in your hair."

"ohh," you coo. you hate to admit how good it feels, but here you were, arching your back in his touch and moaning.

"yeah?" he asks, taking his mouth off of you for a moment. "my baby like it when i eat her dripping pussy?"

you sniffle, not answering. you can't find it within you to be able to. "no? maybe i'll stop and move on then." you want to cry, fuck. a feeling of relief settles back in when he takes the vibrator back in his hand. the low hum grabs your attention — not like you could zone out at a time like this anyways.

when the device meets your needly clit you groan, flex your fingers at the sheets. "oh, fuck," you whisper. his eyes never leave your face, and every time you regrettably look at him, he's breathing heavily, open mouthed, like he just can't get enough of you. so you avoid looking at him, going through stages of keeping your eyes closed or looking up at the ceiling, praying for sweet release to whatever cruel deity is looking upon you getting fucked by this old man.

the vibrations against your clit are a little too good to be true. you can't help but feel like there's a price, one you'll specifically have to pay with his dick inside you. you wonder if it'll be lame like the other guys you've had, but honestly? you could get off to the thought of this situation, and you'll definitely remember this for future masterbation-sake. you're a freak like that.

raglan presses down on your stomach, iliciting a hiss from you through your teeth. "want you to come all over my arms," he tells you, "coat my gloves, you'll make me so happy."

fuck, then you get an idea. the gloves inside of you. you throb once more at the thought. "i-inside," you murmur, hoping he'd get the message.

"huh? what's that, baby?" he asks mockingly, but you know damn well he heard you. please don't make me said it, you think.

you reach down to touch his free hand, guiding it towards your entrance. "want my fingers inside you, hmm? baby needs something inside her to feel satisfied?"

"mhm," you hum with a nod of your head. he slowly slips a gloved finger inside you, the fabric deliciously creating friction that makes you grind on his hand. he looks up at you with a dirty smile, then reaches forward to kiss you as he pumps his fingers in and out of you ever so slowly. it's perfect. the stimulation of the vibrator combined with the feeling of his clothed hand is enough to make you burst.

and you do gracefully. so much that he pecks your cheek, tells you how much of a good girl you are for him, as lewd 'ah's tumble from your lips uncontrollably. you buck against his hand until he pulls is out of you, whining at his removal.

"i know, sweetheart, i know," he sympathizes after you, "daddy's cock's gonna be inside you soon, though. then you'll have something else to play with."

you're already exhausted from your first orgasm, somewhat unsure of how you're going to take the next, but you can hardly think about that now. you're drunk off the atmosphere between you two, nico's amputation is far forgotten. you can't even remember what you were doing before this. your hair is tussled in a way that has your hair clip drooping down the side of your shoulder loosely, but you don't have any energy to fix it. all you can think about is daddy's — wait, when did he become daddy? — cock inside you, and that's all that matters.

raglan begins to grind his bare cock against your entrance, having discarded his black slacks moments ago. he rubs the tip against you, purposefully bumping against your click, drawing out a symphony of noises — babbles along the lines of "please, just put it in, i can't take it anymore" — as your face contorts in a sob and tears fall down your cheeks again.

"my girl is such a crybaby," he chuckles, then slowly guides your hips to slide down on his cock. he fills you up by the inch, making you feel every ridge and vein. the stinging sensation of not being adjusted to his length washes over you in a surprisingly pleasurable wave. "so fucking tight," he gasps. he lets out his respective groans once he's fully sheathed inside of you.

then he starts moving; then things start to get good. you're not fully adjusted to his length, but the way you're leaking around him makes for perfect lube. what's a little pleasure without pain? it could be worse, you could be on the floor writhing in pain with multiple stab wounds, but instead you were being stabbed by his dick inside of you, so you weren't in a position to complain.

raglan leans down so his body is on top of yours, keeps himself steady by planting one hand to the side of your head as he aggressively snaps his hips into yours. you realize, in this moment, just how desperate he's probably been for this. not like you could do much thinking, but the way he was pistoning inside you said enough about how he felt. and god you felt good, clenching and unclenching around him, making the prettiest noises he's ever heard.

one particularly hard thrust has your head swimming, like it did when he slapped you. you want him to slap you again, so you initiate it in the only way you know how; reaching forward to land a weak hit across his face. he stops moving for a second, shocked. then with a swift whack across the face, he's back to thrusting inside of you, even harder this time around. "wanted me to hit you so bad, you could've just asked you dumb little slut," he growls into your ear.

"''m sorry," you have the audacity to giggle, "couldn't tell you."

"yeah? am i fucking you that stupid?" he asks, "'course, i don't expect you to able to answer that."

he flips you over suddenly so you land on your stomach, putting himself back in, fucking you with reckless abandon. the way his cock is hitting your g-spot right now has you plummeting over the edge. you wriggle your hips backwards to help him get off too, which he does right inside of you, filling you up to the brim.

he doesn't pull out. he's waited too damn long for this to do so. he's gonna enjoy a nice, long time inside of you, whether you like it or not. he collapses on his side, pulling you close to him so that he's spooning you. the most important thing to him in that moment, is your half-awake form rising and falling with each breath against him with his cock buried deep inside of you, strawberry charmed hair clip discarded somewhere by the pillows.

#fnaf #fnaf x reader #five nights at freddy's #fnaf smut #william afton #steve raglan #william afton x reader #william afton smut #🎀 — diary entry

[katerinaaqu]

Epic the Musical:

Circe: Oh my! He cannot be transformed by my powers! What do I do?! What do I do?! Think think I need to protect my nymphs! Oh I know! He's a man after all! I'll seduce the hell out of him to get my power over him back! He clearly can defeat my entourage of wolves and lions all by himself! I mean he's damn immune to my magic! I am sure he can do anything with his sword!

Circe: *aggressive flirting*

Odysseus: Oh my gods oh my gods she is hot...what the hell?! Oh I am just a man! Forgive me... No! Wait! J can't! I love My wife way too much! Please let us go home! I miss my wife!

Circe: Awww that is so sweet! Of course darling. I was always a sucker for a good soap opera. Of course I'll help you free of charge and here's some useful tips for your trip! Drive home safely!

The Odyssey:

Circe: Oh my! This man actually had the AUDACITY to come in my home and threaten me! And he took all precautions (a God helped him no doubt). Finally a man I can consider worthy of standing by my side and not bad looking either!

Circe: Come on, darling. Remove your clothes and let's get down on it! Let's see what you've got!

Odysseus: (oh my! Forgive me Penelope that is the only way to save my men! Hermes told me not to refuse her a thing! She is a freaking goddess that commands all these wild beasts! Power over me or not she's a force to be reconed with!) F-Fine but I cannot do what you ask before I ensure my men are safe. Please release them first and then I will (gods gotta buy myself time! Ain't prepared!)

Circe: *does that*

Odysseus: *sighs* I guess we're doing this...

*A year later*

Odysseus: Okay men you had your fun but I can't keep entertaining her forever! We must go home!

Odysseus: Please Circe let me and my people go! We have to go back

Circe: Oh but can't you stay a bit more?

Odysseus: No...I miss my wife and son

Circe: Fine, my dear, if that's what you want... Your happiness is more important than my satisfaction and I love you so I shall let you go. You paid your price fully. Here are some useful tips for you, some provisions and good luck...

#greek mythology #odysseus #the odyssey #greek myth #odyssey #odysseus and penelope #odysseus and circe #“done for” was an amazing song and fitted so well but the next plot kinda ruined it for me #done for #circe #homecoming odysseus #homeric poems #homeric epics #homer #epic and odyssey differences #sorry but epic cannot compare with the original here imo #the odyssey 1997 #odysseus didn't fall for circe's charms he was instructed not to refuse her #circe truly loved odysseus #odypen #tagamemnon #odysseus has been through so much #true power lies when you let your beloved go #circe could kill odysseus if she wanted to #circe was still an immortal goddess #kindness has many forms #humorous #humorous script #odysseus was stalling his bedding with circe #my boy is being underrstimated by that scene

[avesdraws]

reflecting on extinction and survival guilt a little explanation regarding the lyrics straight up copied from discord cause i got a little too emotional drawing the last one

you've got suckers luck. obiviously about the "luck" he's got of being the last alive Did you fall for the same empty answers again. Have you given up?. Is how he trusted for Neil to be alive and then saw how they were just a zombie. So he gives up at having hope. Oh you meant so much, have you given up? It's like. You meant so much as the last member of your species, you gave up on living? Does it feel like a trial? Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine? Could the fact he's the last of his kind and about to die ever bother a human? Could a human ever feel any remorse, care or reflection over his exctinction? Does it care the horrors it's causing and the tragedy? Now you're thinking too fast, you're like marble on glass. You know, Nicholas getting hallucinations and all sort of problems from this continuos stress, trauma etc etc.

#half life #ocs #Nick #neil

[hehearse]

You've got suckers' luck Have you given up?

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #yoo joonghyuk #my art #id in alt

[carbonfiction]

Stay quiet

As a sucker for Bucky and DBF fics it's only obvious that the first piece I've ever seriously written/posted is a mashup of that! With that being said absolutely any feedback is more than welcomed! Also a huge thank you to @becca-e-barnes for inspiring me to finally get out of my own way and pursue something I love! 💕

Pairing- DBF!Bucky x reader

Words: 2.1k

Summary: being in a secret relationship with your dad's hot best friend may be classified as a sin, but teasing him under the table at a family dinner is another.

Warnings: age gap (Bucky's early 40s readers early to mid 20s) lil swearing, secret relationship, reader being a tease, Risk of being caught? hand job, oral (m receiving), Nieve parent's?, a good deal of dirty talk? kinda subby Bucky?? I think that's it!

Minors do not interact, you will be blocked!

you and bucky have been seeing each other for a while in secret. It's something that you've had to both keep quiet about bc let's face it? Dad finds out his (not so little) little girl is actively screwing his best friend? Shit will hit the fan biiiiig time.

You'd always had a stupid schoolgirl crush on bucky since just before before you'd left for college. When you'd first met him he was getting over a divorce and in his late 30s, working alongside your dad. He seemed nice enough, funny and always made sure you felt comfortable around him if he was over and your dad got called away. But it was hard not to see what was in front of you and it just so happened to be your luck that sweet, respectful James "jus' call me bucky" Barnes was also quite possibly the most attractive man you'd ever set eyes on.

You'd had a steady friendship for a while, until Bucky had tagged along on a family vacation and one look at him on that beach, his toned body covered in tiny droplets of water, and in the most delicious pair of black shorts that seemed to perfectly hug every sodden inch of his lower half, had you hooked.

But You'd figured you'd grow out of it soon enough, you'd spend some time around college guys and gals and forget all out your dads best friend.

but that never really happened, your mind seemed to stick onto him,and him alone. No amount of one night stands or date nights with a glass of wine and your vibrator could quell the urge for him.

But then Fast forward to your birthday party and one two many drinks with friends, of whom knew far to much about your little crush. And After being dared to call him, barely able to string a coherent sentence together hes pissed, worried about your safety and decides to picks you up. With drunk words being sober thoughts and and enough liquid courage in you to sink a ship, one thing leads to another and you end up waking naked together, wrapped up in his arms.

And from then on the rest had been history. The time spent not studying was with him. Always with him, even if you were simply laying together on his couch, relishing in a moment of peace. You loved him, and God did he love you back. It was wrong, you both knew it, but from the moment your eyes opened for the first time in his arms? You lost every ounce of guilt or shame. He was it for you, you knew that much.

Dancing around family dinners became an occurrence you'd both grown used too, it wasn't odd for bucky to join your family for Sunday dinners, and after a while, turning up to your front door together was almost natural. Your parents so blissfully unaware and Nieve to believe your excuse that "Bucky's closer to school, said he didn't mind giving me a ride anytime we were both headed this way. 'Sides he saves me catching an uber"

So here you sit, next to bucky and opposite your parents as they talk away, catching up with each other. A smile tugs at your lips as you pop a potato in to your mouth, an idea forming in your mind. Bucky looks utterly delicious, his mix of skinny jeans and a shirt your sure has to be multiple sizes too small.

The way the fabric stretches and clings to every inch him is sinful and from the moment you stepped into his car you've wanted nothing more than to slide over the center console of his car and fuck his brains out. But it was a family dinner you we're attending, and your parents may have been blind to what was going on in of them but if you'd both shown up late, cheeks flushed and clothing Disheveled, it was sure to raise a few questions.

But god, what better way to rile your secret- forbidden- boyfriend up than to tease him under the table. And looking like bucky did, you could hardly of cared if you were caught, at least that way you'd get to go home and screw his beautiful brains out a damn lot earlier.

Bucky's thigh tenses when your hand lands by his knee, slowly raking your fingers up him under the table. And when that's the reaction to an innocent touch? When you do finally reach the already semi hard bulge in his jeans, he just about chokes on the food in his mouth.

Having to play off to your parents that he was fine, just swallowed funny.

You don't move for a while then, hand just discreetly resting over his hardened crotch as you finish off the last few things on your plate. Turning your head as he speaks you can't help but try to suppress a smirk while you take a sip of wine. His eyes are almost wide, panicked, shooting warnings glances so obviously at You.

You know what your doing to him, how he feels about showing any excess affection around your mom and dad, but it's just that that makes it all the more fun.

So it's no surprise when dinners over and your mom insists that you two stay at the table, your hand begins to move once more. Fingers Slowly squeezing over his jeans meanwhile her and your father clean up and get desert ready.

Once out of earshot bucky turns, eyes clouded with lust but the telltale crease of anger between his brows. "What'd the hell are you playing at? Your mom and dad we're right there!" you can tell despite sharpness of his tone that he's struggling, hands trying to grasp your wrist, as his cock protrudes almost painfully against the rough layer of his boxers.

It's almost gratifying in the way He's so obviously trying not to crumble and fuck you over your parents dinner table. But deep deep down, there's this little devil on your shoulder that wants him, no needs him, to do it. To take what he needs from your body, and vice versa, to hell with anyone else.

Putting your plan in motion you begin to snake your hand under his shirt, nails gently raking over the toned skin at the lower half of his abs. The quiet groan Bucky makes at the action is sinful, and does nothing to help the throb of your clit, let alone the tight press of your thighs.

"Come on babydoll, please, please, can't- fuck- can't do this here. Your dad would have my balls in a blender if he caught us"

Bucky pleads, desperation filling his words and fuckkk, you'd be an idiot to say that wasn't one of the hottest sounds to reach your ears, and you'd seen, let alone heard him cum multiple times since the two of you started your relationship.

Despite his desperation to not be caught he can't find it in himself to get you to stop when your hand finally Inches just that little bit lower, unbuttoning him and slipping your warm hand into his jeans.

Your on the edge of your seat and he's hot, heavy and throbbing in your hand. You hear your father and the clattering of bowls as they clean up, mentally making a note that you needed to keep an ear out, just in case either of them decided to venture further out of the kitchen and back to the dining room.

They would be a while yet, your mom's prize desert having to be perfect, but you knew this wouldn't take long. Bucky was already hard and ready from the moment you'd put your hand on his leg.

"Oh baby, you don't want me to make you cum? Don't want me to milk your pretty cock under my parents dinner table? Your hard as hell baby, so Why not hm? "

All bucky can do is quietly wimper, hips fractionally arching into your touch without even meaning to, but you can see in his eyes he's afraid to make any other noise or draw attention.

It's almost criminal how you can do this to him, make him loose all sense of control of his own damn body but god is it one other thing he loves about you.

In any other scenario it should be him doing this to you, fingers buried deep inside your cunt, making you cum instead. But he cant find it in him to care because, fuck, its so wrong you doing this to him, but hell, it feels so damn good.

Bucky struggles to hold in a sound as your hand begins to move in a steady rhythm. using the precum that coats his tip as lube. “ do- do want you t' make me cum honey, jus- fuck- just don't wanna get caught."

"Oh baby, we won't get caught," you pause for a moment, sending him a smirk as you dip down and give a teasing squeeze of his balls. "You jus gotta be quiet, hm? Just be a good boy and stay quiet, I'll take care of you buck"

He has to swallow a gutteral moan at your words, biting down on a hooked finger. You shouldn't do what you do to him, he's sure of that much. Your tone is always Innocent, smooth as honey despite your actions being anything but.

Taking one extra look over to the doorway you up the anti, pulling your chair out ever so slightly and sliding round to face him completely. Buckys cock twitches in your hand, a telltale sign he's close. Good, you think to yourself, you have about ten minutes before you know your mom and dad will be walking back through that door.

Bucky's eyes squeeze shut, face cherry red, as you Lean down towards his crotch. by now he's far too powerless to resist your touch even if he wanted too.

The need to cum consuming any remaining hesitation.

If anyone was to peak around the corner it would look as if you'd dropped something, and by then an easy excuse could roll off your tounge.

But right now the only thing you cared about being on your tounge was Bucky. Your lips wrap around him, salty sweet precum on your taste buds as you suckle at his tip. your hand continues to jerk at the base of him and he's putty in your hands.

"Fu-fuck- gonna cum honey. Dont- god- please don't stop" Bucky's utterly wrecked, Barely able to hold back his gasps and groans.

Your head pops off his cock for a moment, spit coating your chin, just to tease him for a moment.

"That's it, good boy, want you to cum, needa taste you buck. Been desperate for it all night"

And with that your head drops back down, tounge rapidly flicking over his slit. Bucky's teeth dig further into his fingers and it's a Miracle that he doesn't manage to bite it off with the grip. Beside him his Vibrainum hand grasps at the table, wood almost Splintering under him.

It only takes one, two more harsh bobs onto his cock before he's spilling into your mouth, hips jerking wildly. His hand has to clasp over his mouth to smother the deep growl that leaves him, orgasm rushing through his body before his brain can even begin to catch up to his mouth.

His thighs shake, breathing eractic, as he watches you reach his eyes, maintaining eye contact as you swallow his load, salty sweet as it coating your throat. Bucky takes a tremor ridden sip from his water as you begin to tuck his still sensitive but softening cock back into his boxers then re assemble his jeans.

The sound of your mother's voice draws nearer just as you secure the button. Turning yourself around just in time for your parents to become visible in the doorway, bowls in hand. Your father shoots you an odd look at your slightly disheveled appearance but you brush it off, dropping into the regrowing conversation that your laces had come undone and you'd reached down and re Tightened them, hense your flushed face.

But just before your parents can get to placing your bowl down bucky leans over, words barley reaching your ear. "just you wait till we get back in the car honey. We may have a short drive but your not gonna stop cumming over my fingers until your begging me to have some mercy on that pretty little pussy of yours. You wanna Act like a little whore, you get treated like one."

#dbf!bucky #bucky barnes #Bucky Barnes smut #dadsbestfriend!bucky #marvel smut #bucky x reader #james bucky barnes #dbf!bucky smut #bucky imagine #bucky fic #pure smut

[beefboyandbabygirl]

IM LITERALLY HERE JUST TO TEST BABYGIRL ON FICS LMFAOO most of these are older/more obscure-ish(?) so good luck~ (no cheating okay)

mingyu smut where he's the reader's knight and he ki//s people for her and they have bathtub sex

reader and jihoon are idols and in fear of being caught in a hate scandal, they start fake dating and fall in love

joshua angst fic where he keeps getting into street fights and reader patches him but the only reason he's getting into all of the fights is to help other people

chan and reader are exes but stay friends and reader keeps on going on dates and tells chan about them and it drives him crazy

jihoon is a painter and helps the reader with their insomnia

jihoon soulmate au where they share a hair color and jihoon keeps dying his hair and pissing off the reader

wonwoo is a racecar driver and the reader is his engineer and their dads worked together also racing and reader and wonwoo aren't close but wonwoo keeps trying to get closer to reader

ceo!reader who walks around her apartment naked and hoshi's window looks right into her apt but she also becomes his boss and then they fuck

this might be kinda mean djfskal idk how long you've been reading lol but if you know all eight of these then you are insane /pos

okay so i definitely havent read ALL og of these but ive read a lot! some of them ive also just read the descriptions of and theyre on my tbr lol

This is “grasp the thorn” by @/ssinboo! This took my a while to figure out because i last read it a long time ago lol, but im glad u reminded me that this exists.

Sounds familiar to me but i dont think ive read it! 

this sounds like “hoax” by @/lovelyhan to me? except he’s the one who patches the reader up and not the other way? idk if its this one u mean but if not i dont think ive read it! (hoax is fucking incredible though top 10 fics ever)

This also sounds familiar to me but i don’t think ive read it?

Haven’t read this!

This is “to dye for” by @/wooahes! havent read this yet but the description immediately caught my eye

This has to be “momentum” by @wonlouvre. also havent read this yet but im a sucker for a streetracer au

A classiiiiiic “high-rise” by @/sluttywonwoo (who i worship fr)

plz lmk what the ones i didn’t get are because they sound soooo good! also if i got any of them wrong lmao

-love from bbygirrrl

#personal #answered #jj <3

[landwriter]

Hello Mrs landwriter. Would you consider writing a continuation of your You've Got Mail Dreamling AU? I just stumbled across it and it's really very good and I am yearning for more. Much love to you 💖

part one for context. I would also like to take the opportunity to announce that despite my Advanced Internet Age of late twenties, I am scandalously unwed and unattached. any and all comers are welcome to pitch me for my hand in marriage in my askbox.

OP - thank you so much! I have plans to write a full You’ve Got Mail AU at some point but here is another scene, just for you! thanks for enabling me :)

---

“8 o’clock, boss, right on time,” said Matthew, as they stopped outside the cafe that was definitely gonna be Morpheus’ future Last Known Location. “This mystery penpal date is some real serial killer shit, man. You know? He could be anyone.”

“Matthew,” said Morpheus, and turned to look at him with a terrifyingly smitten expression. “A mystery he may be, but he is still the single most charming person I have ever come in contact with. The way he writes of life. The stories he tells! His passion, his hunger, his wit. He could be a bike messenger, and I would be a madman to not turn my life upside down and marry him.”

Matthew felt the rare, exquisite discomfort of actually being the fuckin’ voice of reason in a situation. “You don’t even know what he looks like, boss. Marriage seems a bit, uh, full on? If you haven’t even swapped photos?”

Morpheus regarded him a little satisfied smirk. “We haven’t exchanged pictures of our faces, no.”

“No, you didn’t,” he said in disbelief. Morpheus just raised his eyebrows. “You slut! What is it with gay dudes and-”

“It would be tremendously unprofessional for my assistant to make generalizations about an entire population,” said Morpheus. He sniffed. “Also, he is bisexual.”

“Okay, okay, boss, he’s bisexual, my bad, how about the professionalism of dragging your assistant to your date with this mystery bisexual whose name you don’t even know?” He was, truth be told, pretty fuckin’ invested at this point, but if he could guilt Morpheus into a more generous Christmas bonus, he would. Shame was for suckers.

“You are here in your capacity as my friend,” said Morpheus. Oh, the cold-hearted asshole, invoking their friendship on a Nets game night.

“Then at least let me be homophobic!” he protested. A passerby glared at him. Tourists. “You only get to choose one, man. Loyal assistant or lovably brash bosom buddy, making the protagonist look like less of an-”

“Go on, then,” said Morpheus, heading off his loving insult and folding his arms expectantly.

“No, fuck, the moment is gone. It’s not the same if you give me permission, man. I’m taking an I-O-U for later. One homophobia, when you least expect it,” he said.

Morpheus, who actually did look like he might vomit from his nerves at any moment, at least rolled his eyes at that. That was something.

This was definitely a pep talk moment. God, he was shit at pep talks.

“Well, I’ve loyally delivered you to your fate, or date, or whatever, so, uh, have fun! Don’t get stabbed, text me how it goes, and remember: don’t let him take you to a second location. That’s how they get you, boss. Unless I’m in your will. Then totally do,” he said. He clapped Morpheus on the shoulder and added, in all his generosity of spirit, “Good luck, man. You’ve got this.”

Morpheus clapped a hand on his shoulder too. It stayed. It squeezed painfully tight. “Matthew. My best friend,” he said.

“Yeah?” he asked. This was not good. This was Big Favor shit coming on, he could smell it.

“Would you go and look for me?” asked Morpheus, in a rush.

“Me?” he asked, and thought That’s it? Morpheus had it bad. So, so bad.

“Yes. Just go look through the window and check him out. Please,” said Morpheus. His voice was edged with hysteria. Matthew thought he might actually start to vibrate apart.

“You’re pathetic, boss,” he said, cheerfully. “Also, that’s creepy as fuck.”

“Matthew,” said Morpheus.

“Alright, alright bossman. I’m going. I’m looking. As your best friend.”

Morpheus nodded and sat himself down heavily on a nearby bench. It sounded like he was doing La Maze breathing.

He climbed the steps and, yes, very fuckin’ creepily peered through the window into the cafe. All groups and couples, definitely not Mystery Bisexual, except - there was a waiter taking an order from the table at the back. There was a closed book on the table. “Is he uh, supposed to have a book or something? You know, since you don’t know what his face looks like?” he asked, and didn’t even make the joke, excellent best friend that he was.

“Yes,” said Morpheus. “Yes, and?”

“And the waiter’s blocking him,” he said. “Wait, hold on, he’s moving-” The waiter left and he sucked in a breath.

“Well? Can you see him? Can you see him?”

“Uh,” he said, dumbly.

“Matthew, New York is an at-will employment state. Matthew. What do you see.”

“I can see him,” he said, slowly. Well, at least Morpheus wouldn’t get murdered by his date. Or he would, actually, but at least Matthew would be able to point the cops in the right direction.

“And?” Or - third possibility - Matthew would be the one murdered, by his own  best friend.

“He’s, uh, he’s hot, boss.” He was. Nice smile, warm eyes, broad shoulders. The sort of approachable hot guy-ness that could make another guy wonder about sucking dick after a few drinks. Y’know. Theoretically.

“I knew it,” said Morpheus, triumphantly. “I knew it. I knew he would be, Matthew. He had to be. Had. To. Be.” He laughed in delight.

Matthew had never heard him sound happier in his life. It was fuckin’ unnerving. He felt like he was witnessing a Great White cavorting through the water like a dolphin. Felt wrong. Felt a bit too toothy. He took a moment to mourn his Christmas bonus, and then sighed and spoke again.

“Uh, boss, it’s just. He sort of looks like, uh, that Hob guy?”

“What, Hob Gadling with the little bookstore?”

“Yeah, I mean, he’s hot, right?”

“Yes. I suppose. Absolutely. I don’t care about Hob Gadling. He’s irrelevant.”

Hoo-fuckin’-boy. Matthew grimaced.

“Boss, if you don’t like Hob Gadling, I can uh, I can promise you, you’re not gonna like your man with the book.”

“Why not?”

“Because it is Hob Gadling.”

#dreamling #the sandman #the sandman fanfic #dream of the endless #hob gadling #matthew the raven #my writing #you've got mail au #sry it's just comedy and not dreamling op but this scene is iconic and the first thing i thought of #asks #prompt fill #dream x hob

[memestockpile]

it happened one night (1934) feel free to change as needed.

can't get a thing done unless you do it yourself.

please. i can't fight on an empty stomach.

i hate businessmen.

you're not being fair, darling.

i come from a long line of stubborn idiots!

nice and gooey. just the way i like it.

in a pig's eye, you will!

you wouldn't know a story if it reached up and kicked you in the pants.

it's going to do you no good, my tough friend.

keep your shirt on, young fella.

what you need is a good sock on the nose.

i'm in a very ugly mood. so if it's just the same to you, scram.

i want to be left alone.

why, you ungrateful brat!

i hated to wake you up.

you needn't concern yourself about me, young man.

you're doing a pretty sloppy job.

if you play your cards right, you might get some money out of it.

i had you pegged right from the start.

i guess it never occured to you to just say, "please, mister, i'm in trouble. will you help me?"

you look like you got class.

the colder they are, the hotter they get.

you bore me to distraction.

if you promise not to snap my head off, i'd like to thank you.

that's none of your business.

you're on a budget from now on.

we're stopping here for the night.

your ego is colossal.

hey, you're kinda little, aren't you?

if you've got any peculiar ideas that i'm interested in you, forget it.

there's a brain behind that face of yours, isn't there?

perhaps you're interested in how a man undresses.

a night's rest will do you good.

you sweet thing, you.

listen, brat. i'm going to count to ten. if you're not out of bed by then, i'm going to yank you out myself.

your hair's cute like that. you should never comb it.

if you don't get out of here, i'll slap that fresh mouth of yours.

one egg, doughnuts, black coffee.

what makes you so disgustingly cheerful this morning?

i've always been told what to do and how to do it and where and with whom.

this is the first time i've ever been alone with a man!

dunking's an art. don't let it soak so long. a dip and plop, into your mouth.

i ought to write a book about it.

come here, you little fool!

you don't have to lose your temper!

no mushy stuff.

that's better. you're all right, now.

going without food is bad business, son.

we're right in the middle of nowhere.

i can use a smart guy like you.

i was never built for these moonlight strolls.

i wish you'd stop being playful.

this is the first time i've ridden piggyback in years.

you can't be hungry and scared at the same time. if you're scared, it scares the hunger out of you.

you're becoming terribly disagreeable lately.

holy jumping catfish!

you've had a lot of men crazy about you, haven't you?

the world's full of people like you. don't know what they want.

life's swell if you don't try too hard.

i wish you wouldn't talk too much.

young people in love are never hungry.

if you do, i'll break your neck.

haven't slept one night this week.

have you ever been in love?

those are the only places to live. where the stars are so close over your head that you feel you could reach right up and stir them around.

better go back to your bed.

get me a drink and make sure nobody disturbs me for half an hour.

i haven't been shot at for days.

you know i've always liked you.

i need a thousand dollars.

i wouldn't trust you as far as i could throw that desk.

so long, kid. and good luck.

get me a doctor. i'm about to have a nervous breakdown.

certainly gave us a run for our money.

the thought of it makes me shudder.

if you'll do what i tell you, perhaps i might develop a little respect for you.

you thought that up all by yourself, huh?

i hope he breaks his leg.

still in the dumps?

i wouldn't hurt you for the world. you know that.

i knew there was something on your mind.

i've been such a burden to you.

i want our life to be full of excitement.

you're a peculiar chap.

this is a matter of principle. something you probably wouldn't understand.

that's an evasion.

you're a sucker to go through with this.

#askbox meme #ask meme #inbox meme #roleplay #inbox rp meme #askbox #meme #ask #roleplay meme #rp meme #sentence starter meme #roleplay sentence meme #rp sentence meme #sentence starters #sentence meme #askbox rp #rp inbox meme #tumblr rp #rp #tumblr roleplay

[jesawyer]

Hi Josh, you answered a question about TTRPG combat design previously which I appreciate a lot, was just wondering if you could give pointers on another thing.

How do you do enemy targeting in a combat encounter? Say you've got a squishy mage next to a big high damage monster, I always feel tempted to avoid attacking them because I don't like trying to kill PCs - will do so if they're being dumb but otherwise I feel like a dick.

Is it a case of desinging encounters so this kind of thing doesn't happen, just going off what makes the most sense in context or is there another way to think about it?

I run fights with the enemies being as ruthless as their intelligence will allow. It encourages the players to be equally ruthless and to keep their guard up.

I don't sucker punch PCs but if the party doesn't protect vulnerable allies, they'll suffer for it.

Also if the party ignores warnings about the difficulty of an unnecessary fight, I'll just tear them up. In one of my previous Pillars tabletop games, the party decided to hunt down a known Very Tough Guy and ambush him and his guards. In the first round, the Very Tough Guy used Flames of Devotion with a multi-crit dual-wielded flail attack on the party paladin. The paladin died immediately and the rest of the party scattered.

PCs don't die as often as it might seem given what I'm saying. Part of the reason is that, IMO, PCs don't die purely based on bad luck or me being malicious. They usually die because they made a bad tactical decision or took a risk that didn't pan out.

In my last Pillars tabletop campaign, the party druid did die in the climactic fight. He had already been badly wounded and wound up flanked by the antagonist, who had Sneak Attack and scored an exceptional crit. Luck did play a part on the total damage dealt, but he was just in a vulnerable position. He was also clearly the greatest threat to the antagonist at the time, so her choice to sneak attack him was the smart thing to do.

RIP, Chung.

#pillars of eternity #rpgs #ttrpg

[burins]

song meme

tagged by @vinelark and have been picking away at this as typing allows! I suspect this is going to look very silly because I haven't been listening to very much music lately (or when I have it's mostly been on han's Spotify in the car) mostly audiobooks

shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people

good luck babe by chappell roan - has anyone not been listening to this song? I'm so happy she's blowing up on a song that's I think legitimately one of her best. also this is a dinahbabs song if I ever heard one. which one is which? great question it's both

be the wheel by theo katzman - I think this showed up on my discover weekly? I'm actually not entirely sure. it's a bop! like most of theo katzman / vulfpeck's stuff the lyrics don't really make much sense, but it's a fun summery tune

where you lead by carole king - so the other reason that I thought this playlist might be a little bit all over the place is because I had my library program playlist on repeat for like two and a half hours on Wednesday. this is from that

what'd i say by ray charles - another one from the library program playlist! Ray Charles is making so many different sounds with his voice in the song and it's a delight

1612 by vulfpeck - This is an oldie! I put it on my crush playlist when I first started dating my spouse :)

masseduction by st vincent - I just relistened to this whole album and it's still so so good. sugarboy is another dinahbabs song

make some room by the suffers - This is a song for cooking brunch.

butterfly by jon batiste - jon batiste has such a beautiful voice

springtime by alison russell - holding you by the shoulders. listen to Alison Russell right now. Do you like harmonies? Do you like incredible vocal performances? Do you like beautiful and hard-hitting lyrics? This album got four Grammy noms and it deserved every single one of them

ameriican requiem by beyoncé - so this song did make me tear up when I first heard it omw to work. The chorus is a little... milk toast, but I am such a sucker for a big choral inflected song. also after listening to so many two-minute 45-second little tidbits of songs it is really nice to sink my teeth into something that is nearly 6 minutes long and actually grows and changes over that duration

tagging (no pressure) @timetoboldlygo @luckydicekirby @uhuraisgay @suedeuxnim @mengyao @blotthis @dancy-nrew @misspickman and anyone else who'd like to do this! if you don't use Spotify just tell me about 10 songs you've been listening to recently

#tag game

[chelshiart]

You've got suckers luck... Have you given up?

Does it feel like a trial?

Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?

#encanto #portal #bruno madrigal #doug rattman #mirabel madrigal #casita madrigal #we don't talk about bruno #disney #what is it about these ratmen hiding in the walls huh? #anyway here's another old thing it turns out ive yet to upload to tumblr

[digital-magus]

Welp, here in Texas, Summer's finally here. The streets are empty and the power's going out from everyone turning the AC on at the same time. And that means that soon enough people living further north in reasonable climates are going to be getting hit with record high temperatures, because that's just what happens every year now.

SO! To repay their kindness of the past few years in providing tips on staying warm during our Big Freeze(s), I'm gonna share some Gen-U-Ine Texas Wisdom(TM) on beating the heat. Anyone else from similarly hellish climates is more than welcome to chip in anything I miss or forget.

1) STAY! HYDRATED!

Most things on this list are tips and suggestions, but this is a hard-and-fast rule. I know that probably sounds really obvious but I literally cannot stress it enough. If you're hot and sweating, you're losing water and it needs replacing. If you're hot and not sweating, you're out of water and it REALLY needs replacing. Sweat is not your enemy, it's your body's natural cooling mechanism.

Straight water is best obviously but if you can't do that for whatever reason, go whatever you've got. I personally keep a big jug of water by my computer and refill it regularly. A fairly reliable metric is if you go to take a drink and you find yourself just guzzling it down, let it happen; your body knows what it needs. If you start drinking and immediately start sweating, it means you needed to sweat but were too dehydrated to spend the water. Keep. Drinking.

2) Ice water is your friend

I preface this by saying if you're elderly or have heart conditions, be very careful with this one: going too cold too fast can shock your system and stop your heart. Even if you don't have heart conditions, you should be careful about it if you're particularly overheated (e.g. you just came in from doing yard work in the heat). Even if it doesn't mess with your heart, it can mess with your stomach and make you throw up. Start off with cool room temperature water and work your way down.

That said, there is no better tool for cooling down your core. Remember there is no such thing as cold, just lower and higher amounts of heat, and most of your organs are on the inside, not the outside. You can climb into a freezer or sit in front of an AC going full blast, but you're still gonna have to wait for the heat to diffuse its way from your core to your skin before it actually leaves your body. With ice water, you're introducing a great big thermal battery right into your core where it can pull that heat out directly before getting expelled in the myriad way the human body has to lose moisture.

3) Cold showers: not just for horndogs anymore!

Now we've got your core taken care of, but your outer layer's still plenty hot. Lucky for you, water is a great conductor for heat on the outside of your body too! Showers are particularly effective because it's a constant stream of new cold water rather than a singular body that will warm up over time. As with the previous tip, those with heart conditions or the severely overheated should start with a cool or even lukewarm temperature before easing their way lower to prevent adverse reactions from the sudden shock.

4) Keep the air movin' and coolin'

We all know the relief a nice cool breeze can bring when you're feeling hot, but those are often short-lived and not available on command. Now, the people this list is for (by virtue of needing this list) probably don't have central air conditioning, so we're gonna have to find another way. First off, if you can afford it (both the up-front cost and the utility cost; suckers really suck up the juice), a 1-room or window unit air conditioner in your bedroom or whichever room you spend the most time can be an absolute lifesaver. I pretty much guarantee whatever room you put it in will become the room you spend the most time.

4b) No AC, no problem

If that's not an option for you, you're not out of luck though; I'm going to let you in on the tried-and-true method of those too budget-bound for AC; the wind-tunnel method. This should be particularly effective for people with the grave misfortune of spending the summer months in a home built for the winter, made to retain every ounce of heat it can.

All you need is (at least) 2 large box fans (or similar high-power exhaust fans) and (at least) openable windows (or doors to the outside if you don't mind bugs/birds/neighbors coming in). If your home has a built-in attic fan, that can substitute for at least one of the fans and windows, that's what they're made for.

Pick at least two windows on opposite ends of your home. If you only have windows on one side of your home (e.g. a small appartment), choose the two farthest away from each other. If you live in a multi-story home, at least one should be on the top floor and one should be on the bottom. At one window set up one of the box fans blowing in, and at the other window, blowing out. In a multi-story home at least one fan blowing out should be on the topmost floor you're looking to cool. Heat rises and you will notice.

Because they might be called something different where you live, this is what I mean by a box fan:

The idea is to create a gentle wind tunnel through your home to constantly keep the air circulating, bringing in new (cooler) air from outside and venting the old warmer air back out. As such, there will need to be a constant open-air path from one fan to the other, so leave the interior doors open. A few additional tips:

If you have a windowless room you want to include on the circulation, put another box fan (or one of those squat barrel fans) on the floor in the doorway blowing in. The cooler air will flow in at the bottom of the doorway and the warmer air will flow out at the top

Any room that generate it's own heat when in use (i.e. kitchens, computer rooms, etc) should definitely be included in the system, unless you plan on never going in there. Kitchens in particular should get an exhaust fan.

When you run the fans can make a lot of difference. You'll need to work out what works best in your personal situation (especially if you've got a lot of insulation) but what works best for me is to run them from evening to morning when it's coolest out, then shut them off during the heat of the day so the house holds on to the cool for as long as it can.

For a little extra cooling, take some light fabric soaked in water or a wide pan of it and place it in front of the intake fan. The air blowing over/through the water will cause it to evaporate, cooling the air as it comes in. This may not always be effective however, because...

5) Humidity is NOT your friend

Somewhat paradoxically, water can be as much an enemy as a friend in the fight to keep cool. In simple terms, the more water is in the air, the less water can evaporate into it, the upshot of which is your sweat stops doing its job and instead of evaporating away, leaving you slightly sticky but cool, it just stays there, leaving you hot, damp, and miserable. The only real ways to combat this are to a) not introduce unnecessary steam into the air (and venting any you do generate) and/or b) get a dehumidifier. The problem with b is it doesn't really work with the Wind Tunnel Method for obvious reasons. If you live somewhere both hot and humid, an AC unit really is the best of both worlds because it dries the air as it cools it.

So, other than small obvious stuff like "Stay out of the sun" and "Try not to move around too much", that's what I've got for y'all. If I think of anything else I'll be sure to add it, and again, anyone else with tips to add is welcome to do so. And even if you don't have something to add, I'd appreciate y'all reblogging this anyway so it can hopefully reach more people who need it so we can help our northern neighbors like they helped us these past few winters.

Good luck out there and keep cool!

#texas wisdom #hot weather

[wecanbeheropons]

Hold on. Hold up. Bear with me a second.

Look, I'm a sucker for Time-shit so it's little wonder I attached to Tick Tock from NitW back in the day and eventually Tinky. But given Tinky's mascot like appearance and Tick Tock originally being a song by a children's cartoon character in NitW I couldn't help but imagine Tinky singing the rewritten version that appears in the game.

Tick Tock lyrics:

Come along my children Come and sing with me Telling time is easy, count it One, two, three Come along my children Come and learn with me Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, toooock Telling time is easy This is what we say Each clock has a special face so Come and look their way Hour hand and minute Finely carved from wood - they'd Crush you right between the middle If they only could

Hey everybody - let's look at the clock Ticking off the minutes till the hour's struck Count the precious seconds, running out of luck Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, toooock

Telling time is easy This is what they say Look at every passing second Till they've passed away

No one can avoid it Time will come for you Best to make your peace - because there's Nothing you can do

Time is running out And I'm prob'ly trapped in Time - still running out Yet I'm feeling nothin' Time is running out And I'm prob'ly trapped in Time - still running out Yet I'm feeling nothin'

Time is all we've got But we don't have much and Time will soon run out Yet I'm feeling nothin' Time is all we've got But we don't have much and Time will soon run out Oh yeah!

Hey everybody - let's look at the clock Ticking off the minutes till the hour's struck Count the precious seconds, running out of luck Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, toooock

Look out everybody - oh here comes the clock Stomping through the hallway now the hour's struck Time's got us running but we're really stuck Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, toooock

Now You've learned With meee

#t'noy karaxis #Tinky #NitW #Night in the Woods #Youtube

[darksiderssin]

*Pokes into the askbox* Hi, i'm pretty new to the Darksiders fandom! ( Recently got the first game and a figurine of War 👀🙈🥰 ) Anyways, i was wondering if i can request a War X fem!reader?

Maybe some headcanons on him with with a reader who's a big horror movie nerd? ( I'm a huge sucker for slasher movies and giant monsters :D ) or maybe headcanons for his Chaos!form? Can be either SFW or NSFW.

Anyways, hope you have a great day/night! :3

Hey, welcome! I hope you're enjoying the game, it's fun to play as a monster truck on legs. XD Movie nerd s/o headcanons coming up!

Needless to say, you were pretty bummed out when all the cinemas in the area were either destroyed or occupied by the warring forces of Heaven and Hell. Shutter Island was about to drop, too, and you were looking forward to watching it, but now you were straight out of luck. No more movie nights either, just surviving and finding any thriller novels that hadn't been ruined by exposure to the elements.

War, for his part, hasn't spent as much time on Earth compared to Strife, who would probably know more about human culture than he would, and he's curious as to why humans scare themselves for entertainment. Don't the dustborn usually avoid things that scare them? He's happy to hear you go on and on about your favourite horror movie plots, your favourite slashers and monsters. Turns out he's fought a few of those monsters before, or at least something similar to what you're describing. Yes, demons will possess humans or mess with them for fun. Yes, vengeful ghosts exist, though they're usually more his eldest brother's area of expertise. Despite the whole "scaring yourself for fun" thing, War comes to see that the fear is half the fun, the other half being the interesting plots of these tales. He's not much of a reader himself, but he's happy if it makes you happy.

His Chaos form was a treat for you, too. You've seen Kaiju movies, and while War isn't as big as say, Godzilla, he's just as impressive to see in action, even as you're scrambling out of the way of the conflict. He's like a big dog in this form, and he'll gladly curl around you to keep you warm or just for a snuggle, or let you ride on his back. He very much enjoys your excited babbling about how cool he is, even if he snorts and calls it ridiculous. He is very cool. He's not sure what Godzilla is, but he wants to fight it now to prove to you that he's far more impressive than a lightning-breathing iguana.

#ask #answered #silkekruse #not sin #darksiders #war