#you've made it

[uncanny-tranny]

Fat people deserve mobility aids, too. No matter if it's connected to their fatness or not, because having a mobility issue that is connected to one's fatness won't change that they're still fat and still have the issue at hand. Fat people don't deserve to "tough it out" because fatness should be this divine punishment doled out to those who "deserve" it. Fat disabled people deserve to have the peace of mind that they can exist in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to them

#disability #ableism #ableism tw #fatphobia #fatphobia tw #also if it's an issue solved by weight loss why would you want them to suffer until the weight loss helps wouldn't that DISCOURAGE them? #because if i were suffering the entire time i sure as fuck wouldn't want to keep going for the ~idea~ of it's gonna pay off!!! #also even if they 'made themself disabled' by being fat or anything else that doesn't matter. they're still disabled. #there is no 'good' disabled and 'bad' disabled and you cannot sort people into those categories #for every 'bad' fat disabled person there are multiple 'good' fat disabled people but you can't tell them apart often actually! #because you would have to know the intimate details of their medical history and familial lineage and tbh if you're... #...being a piece of shit to a disabled person because you assume they're guilty until proven innocent i don't blame others for being... #...weary of you and not wanting to be around you. because you've already proven you can't handle the IDEA of complex disabled experience

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[thedreadvampy]

people seriously pretending EEAAO is overrated suddenly bc it swept awards? it swept awards largely because it is very very very good. I cried like someone who's just had a religious revelation BOTH times I watched it bc it touched something raw and real and beautiful but it was also just very, very funny. everyone's performance kills and the concept is creative and interesting and doesn't distract from the emotional core. you guys are just contrarian.

#red said #also there are posts and tweets like THIS IS JUST FOR MCU FANS #like please go on demonstrating how you've adopted 'mcu fan' as a shorthand for 'person who likes films i don't' #or 'person who likes films that are popular' #because the defining features of mcu films are that they're high budget irony poisoned derivative works #targeted at a broad audience so aiming to be accessible and inoffensive #and it really seems. like 'accessible' is the part of that you object to #bc EEAAO is a highly original A24 indie film with a 14.5m budget which is NOTHING #it's made mostly with practical effects and sets #and most importantly it's beautifully painfully earnest. it's never trying to shy away or go Hey Look How Silly This Is 😏 #everything is driven by its earnest desire to talk about specific themes #i think the people comparing it negatively to mcu films are stuck on the fact that it's about a multiverse and it's got jokes #and colourful action scenes #but they miss that the referential jokes (like racacoonie) and setpieces aren't the point of the film

[lightbluetown]

the Literacy Duo, as i like to call them

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #edward teach #mary read #you know you've made it when twitter steals your joke 😭 #🏴‍☠️

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

#SVSSS #Shen yuan #shang qinghua #cumplane #Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case. #Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two. #The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it. #Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't. #These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin #They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too. #And sloppy hate makeouts <3 #Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle! #You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy! #Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times! #I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking! #Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!

[ethicalmanipulativegirlfriend]

society if anyone on here looked up the meaning of terms

#if you've never heard of instant gratification that doesn't mean I made it up lmfao

[dykedivorce]

See, you start reading The Locked Tomb because everyone is like wow, lesbian necromancers in space, fun but watch out it's a little sad! And then Tasmyn Muir says my entire magic system is based on the fact that you cannot know someone without being changed by their existence. You cannot lose someone, grieve for someone without them becoming a part of you forever. Grief is transformative because love is transformative. It's also a consumption, because love is a consumption - souls merge when they spend enough time near each other. You will never be the person you were before you met them.

#it's like. you bite into popcorn expecting it to be light and airy but as soon as your teeth sink in #you realize you've made a huge mistake and this is the densest yet most fulfilling cake youve ever tasted #the locked tomb

[dudethatsmyundeaduncle]

Had this Headcannon that when Multi-Lingual Dick and Jason get drunk they start singing Ballads in Spanish. Yeah some classical shit like Vicente Fernandez but also the most wild Selena you've ever heard.

#is this a post about Latinx Jason todd? Bitch it might be #Don't ask me about it tho cuz I'll deny it to my core #I imagine jason drunk off his ass belting No Me Queda Mas like he fuckin wrote the song #Dick's got Como la Flor Energy but he has ugly Sobbed NMQS too #they are so infamous for their drunk spanish ballads that they actually rub off on TIm #imagine young justice suprise when the whitest kid you've ever seen wasted on 7/11 liquor is hiccuping his way through a selena song #worst accent you've ever heard sounds like a dog from New Jersey learning to bark and yet the emotion is kinda on point #TIm denies it #refuses to believe he has ever done it #Dick and Jason get a copy of the video and someone edits a mash up of all three of them warble singing that banger #anyway this was a nothing post of nothing I made for myself #fr just for me #DC #Batman #Batfam #Jason todd #Tim drake #Dick Grayson

[mblue-art]

so like... teeth... fangs, even.........

(silly) xtra under the cut

smfh tfw ur trying to joke but friend snitches you tf out

#utmv #cross!sans #killer!sans #self insert #mblue art #posting this on oreo's bday bc yes :) #10/10 #happy birthday idiot what did you do to me /lh #you've stayed in my head for more than a year #made me feel so many feels #it is insane how many (AU) scenarios ive thought of with him guys #(but i will only share a couple to the public bc i am shy u_u;;) #(and they r very very self-indulgent;;) #(also HHEEELLLPPP KILLER IS SUCH AN ASS !!! (affectionate)) #(you're lucky you're skrunkly meow meow status i made u look good in the first panel 😤😤😤) #CM

[levi-dayne]

posting stuff like "we're already fucked" in regards to kosa is extremely discouraging and counterproductive to the cause btw. we want people to remain hopeful. we've defeated it in the past and we can again. i get that its scary but it isn't over yet and acting like everything is already fucked just discourages people from speaking out

#if you've made a post like that i highly recommend editing it or deleting it #we're all already scared but we need to be taking action rn instead of giving up #stop kosa #kosa

[chalkrub]

svanhildr my beloved returns

#my art #oc #svanhildr #anthro #furry #goat #illustration #oc tober #(this is day 3......i'm doing it at my own pace. lol) #I gave her some funky white eyeliner as a quick experiment and loved it so now she's got white eyeliner i guess #congrats svanhildr you've been REDESIGNED. in the smallest way possible. and also with more horn texture (that i didn't reference) #i need to reference things more i am stagnating so hard at the moment. whatever #last night me and the girlies made the age-old mistake of putting on mud face masks together and taking a cute polaroid for memories #anyway needless to say the polaroid came out darker expected and now we have a photo of us that could be very badly misinterpreted #and has very very VERY unfortunate connotations that we did not foresee in our shortsighted naivety and did NOT intend #live and learn and never let the photo escape into the outside world I guess!

[beatriceportinari]

Brook trout - Origami, one sheet of paper

#mine #origami #trout #fish #original model is by Fukuroi Kazuki #you can find the diagram in the origami tanteidan 26th edition book #which is on z-library bc z-lib is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #cheer and clap everyone #i wouldn't necessarily rec folding this one bc the head is entirely asymetrical - the mouth is only visible on one side #but you know fun trout model and the tanteidan diagrams are always so well done so do you what you'd like #don't do like me and use wenzhou paper that you've made go through the ringer though lol #it'd benefit from smth a bit more solid and there's nothing complex enough to necessitate a paper than thin #had a lot of fun with the colors though i think that green is delightful

[expelliarmus]

#mine #doctor who #dwedit #peter capaldi #michelle gomez #jenna louise coleman #i'm so excited for the ten and missy and paternoster gang audio to come out!!! #so i decided it was time to remake this bit!!!! #hi friends sorry it's been a bit since i've made some gifs #i was at sdcc and went to disneyland #very good time #i got fourteen's new sonic!!!! and got buttons of dt and ct's faces!!!!! #and posters of fourteen fifteen donna and ruby!!!!!! very exciting #and i caught up on some big finish audios #and i saw barbie and haunted mansion this week #hope you've all been well :')))

[vangh17a]

so @somerandomdudelmao's last update made me feel things

#cass apocalyptic series #cass apocalyptic series fanart #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #cas fanart tag #save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #unpause rottmnt #unpause rise of the tmnt #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #if you've made it this far in the tags #there's an alt title in the alt text #<3 #my art

[damn-it-a-hogwarts-legacy-blog]

Wizard swears

Original

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy meme #hogwarts legacy art #ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow #garreth weasley #first time i have drawn in months and it’s tracing a meme ugh 😩 #deek thinks you should be proud of all the art you've made #Isabel Greymoore

[whatisgoingoninmyhead]

there's something to be said about how public unawareness about aspec identities contributes to the infighting within the aspec communities.

for example, I've seen a lot of "don't say ace people don't have sex because that's harmful to the sex favourable aces" and the opposite: "don't say ace people can have sex because what about the sex repulsed/averse?"

and they're both valid points, but because of it, aspec posts have to cater to the entire spectrum or risk starting arguments over this. Ideally, people could look at an aspec post and accept that it's for a different part of the aro/ace spectrum to where they are, but that's where the public unawareness comes in

because outside of the aspec communities, there's so little understanding of what the terms mean, that people within the community have to make every post generic so that the unaware won't see one post and make an assumption for the entire community based on it.

I see where every side is coming from, but infighting doesn't really solve any of the issues. The only thing that can start to solve it is more expansive aspec media representation, and spreading the "aro/ace identities are a spectrum" posts as much as possible to reach outside of the community, rather than trying to make specific posts fit that generic message.

#long post and i fear it sounds a bit ranty at times #this isn't targeting anyone specific and if you've made those kinds of posts before. i do understand #it's just an observation I've made #aroace posts #aromantic #asexual #aroace #ace #aro #aspec #acespec #arospec #tw sex mention #aspec infighting #representation is important #but not every post can be perfect representation for every aspec person #I talk