#you-cant-spell-subtext-without-asks
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I’ve been wondering this for a while, but I wasn’t quite sure how to phrase it kindly, because I do mean it kindly. I’ve followed you for a while and I feel like I’ve seen a lot of defending Mish, which is definitely sometimes warranted, but also sometimes feels like it comes at the expense of other fans. I guess what I am asking is: Do you think any criticism of Jensen or Misha is fair? When do you think fandom becomes toxic positivity? Even if Misha was/is queer, are we comfortable with him using bisexuality, topping, and queerness writ large as a punchline? Why is it okay for him but not Jared? Sorry this is getting long 🤪 but I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I'm going to try and respond to this with as much kindness as I can because I believe you put the effort into your phrasing but please understand this has been an invalidating and exhausting week for me personally for various reasons, and my kindness capacity and spoons are at negative five point two. (got long so here's the cut)
That being said, I've been fairly quiet on here in respect to the current situation, because I received actual death threats from people when I said something positive about Jensen after Denver and honestly since then expressing my opinion on this type of thing hasn't felt as safe or comfortable.
My view of the situation is that everyone is to blame including the fandom. I think the sooner we stop pointing fingers and trying to pin our COLLECTIVE BLAME (Misha, fans, tabloids, antis, assholes) on someone else and take accountability for our role in the situation, the better things will be. Yes, there was valid hurt on parts of fans who wanted to see a part of themselves in someone they admire and its absolutely justifiable to express that hurt. There's nothing reprehensible in saying "I thought he really meant what he said and now I am disappointed."
But hurt feelings and pain do not give anyone a blanket card to be completely and utterly horrible to strangers on the internet (which includes both fellow fans and Misha himself, because despite his openness with the fans - he remains a stranger to us. we do not know anything about his private life or identity. we are familiar with his public image).
I hate the word toxic positivity and honestly calling out others' behavior when it's inappropriate - in APPROPRIATE WAYS, is anything but this. But the vitriol and lashing out I see all around me is not coming from Misha. It is coming from the fans.
In respect to the joke commentary, I do not think Misha has ever treated actual queerness as a punchline. yes, he has made jokes (of a lesser extent than other jokes I see here daily and frankly find over the top myself at times, regardless of the way a person making that joke identifies), but in my personal opinion the community is not nor has ever been treated as the butt of those jokes. If anything everyone laughed along with him, and encouraged him to make more. There's also an entire essay I'd like to write separately that delves into heteronormative standards that are engrained within each of us whether we like it or not but its too much and probably too soon for me to open that dialogue. It suffices for now to say, that in my personal opinion - if we're going to delve into the appropriateness of a joke, I think that appropriateness stems from the joke itself and not the identity of the person making it. You don't get to flash a queer card to excuse the perpetuation of homophobia, even in a humorous way (if Misha has made jokes to this level I agree he should apologize, but that should have also been called out in the moment instead of 'permitted because he may have been considered a person in the community due to his identity and therefore excused to make any joke of any caliber').
This leads me to the fact that all of this begs the question of why anyone currently thinks it's okay to demand private information about someone's sexuality - even if that person is a celebrity. Requiring proof of queerness for acceptance in the community is equivalent to a forced outing of someone who may not be ready to be out. It's also denying entry to those here who may not identify with a certain label, or those who may have identified as straight and are currently questioning that label on whatever basis. This space is about inclusion, not exclusion. A person cannot understand someone else's journey while viewing it solely through the lens of their own, and that's why I firmly believe that there should be a place at the table for anyone seeking it. In more specific comment, treating 'straightness' as something other than a place on what is a very fluid spectrum of sexuality and personal identity, is once again aligning with the structural rigidity of heteronormativity and the patriarchal desire to put people in categories so they can then simply be brushed aside for the advancement of a small elite group. These norms and standards are DESIGNED to produce this exact kind of infighting. Accepting all under the umbrella of community, banding together as a collective to fight the actual evil instead of fighting each other? This is how we resist.
Please note you haven't asked me my own identification or label, and I haven't provided one. Does this make my words less valid? Should I have to preliminarily justify my own reasons for being able to share this opinion with you? Do I belong here? See how muddy the waters get?
I do believe valid criticism of a celebrity's comments and actions is appropriate; and Misha has invited this over and over - he is a person who wants to learn and be educated, and this is part of the reason the apology was made in the first place. But dragging someone through the mud and making memes about what was a sincere and earnest statement is not education.
I won't speak about Jensen because he is not at the center of the current topic of discourse, but my thoughts about him are similar in that he has shown himself to be an advocate and supporter, and has learned and grown from prior statements he has made because he has listened and educated himself.
In respect to Jared, I've thought a lot about the things I myself have said about him in the past on this site, and I regret them. They were mean-spirited, and despite my feelings at the time - that is still not okay. He's also a person. He's learning. We should show all humans a modicum of grace (again - by vocally speaking out if words are harmful, but also by educating and recognizing if change has been made - which, I believe, it has.). For example - I have seen people on here excuse others' hurtful words and conduct because they are in pain and struggling. Should that not apply to all people?
Of course, while I think that feeling hurt and pain as a reaction to someone's words is absolutely valid and necessary - holding ON to that pain, carrying it with you for a long period of time, turns it into something separate and apart from the person and the words that creates more lasting harm. I am sorry for those who are still hurting. I am hurting too, but it's honestly more over the statements that were made by fandom itself and not what Misha said - which may be why my words come across as 'defending Misha at the expense of fandom' - because what I saw that touched my hurting spaces came from FANS, and not from him. I am doing my best to give those people grace as well, to understand that this is coming from personal places of trauma. And that's exactly why finger pointing and blaming each other won't get any of us through this quickly or easily.
Either way, I'm working towards processing it all and moving forwards, and I truly hope everyone else is doing the same. We are here to find joy and escape. I don't want that part of fandom to go away.
Sorry this is so clumsily put. I'm very tired.
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shhh this is about your now-deleted personal post that i caught before you deleted it and you dont have to answer or acknowledge this ask but
i am sending you a hug.
you can keep it in your ask box for whenever you need one (it replenishes on its own. a self-regenerating hug).
So. This is from several months ago (like September) and the deleted post was concerning my mother, who had just started chemo procedures due to her being diagnosed with stage four Non-Hodgkins lymphoma; which was terrifying in all sorts of ways.
I don’t know if she’s officially in remission yet, but she’s done with chemo and her scans don’t show cancer where it used to be. She does have to keep the port for transfusions in for the next six months just in case, but her hair is growing back and even though I wasn’t around for a lot of it (four hours is a surprisingly long drive) she is doing a lot better than even just a couple weeks ago. She’s exercising and planning trips and a whole bunch of other things she wasn’t able to do just a couple months ago.
All that to say, this lovely message in my inbox got me through a lot of the mess that the last couple of months had in store. I didn’t look at it everyday, but it was definitely at least once a week. I do not possess the words to describe my gratefulness, but thank you.
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Happilyfeatherafter’s ficrec Fridays
It's February!! Welcome back to another week of ficrecs. A mix of post-confession therapy, poetry, and glorious AU this week. (I thought I'd not read much because this week has been, quite frankly, a bastard, but apparently this was a lie!)
If you missed last week’s you can find my previous rec lists here for more!
2 February 2024
maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes). After the perfect darkness of the Empty, Cas finds the world a little…overwhelming. Dean tries to help. Post 15x18, Cas is both touch starved and touch sensitive, and the sensory overload of the world can be a bit too much. He craves Dean's touch, but resists asking for it. A really beautifully written, metaphor laden examination of chronic pain, disability, trauma and the physicality of the body and nebulous presence of mind. All wrapped up in an abundance of love and devotion. Absolutely gorgeous.
Prayer to a False God by K_A_Mindin (@katerinaalianovamindin, art by @gaytedlasso for @spnbangbang) It’s been two years stuck in the Empty, where the Shadow showed him his worst mistakes over and over again. Then he's brought back, to Jack and to Dean, and silence continues to rein, the unspoken acknowledgement of the confession lingering in the air...until Cas decides he needs to stop letting silence rule. Alongside the emotional pull of this thread, the D/S dynamics which grant Dean the permission to speak his truths, through prayer, and through physical release, are a joy to behold.
i like your shoelaces (thanks! i stole them from the president) by @you-cant-spell-subtext-without is a brilliantly funny take on Misha's "Dean is a custodian in a fast food restaurant. Castiel is the President of the United States" fic prompt from a convention, told through the narrative hook of a Cinderella story. Delightfully tongue in cheek, and laugh out loud, this is currently a wip but a must read to bring joy to your inbox each update.
FROTUS by kathscradle takes the very same prompt but approaches it in a very well executed slowburn that says ok but seriously what if? My favourite thing about this fic is the importance of family, Cas being the widowed single parent of Jack and Claire, and Dean stepping up in his new role as step-Dad. Add in the slowburn relationship unfolding through long distance hyper-monitored correspondence, and all the national security matters at hand, this longfic gave my The West Wing/Scandal/Destiel brain a great big hug.
birthday candles by rhinestoneangels (almondrose/@pinknatural) is a super cute, ever so charming Dean's birthday ficlet in which Castiel's sister Anna drags him to a birthday party for a friend of hers who he has never met. He googles what to bring to a birthday party and settles on baking cookies...one fire later and fortunately, the firefighter who shows up to save Castiel from himself is very dreamy, and what a coincidence! It's his birthday, too….
I've also fallen down a rabbit warren of destiel and spn poetry, and I really really love this one by @whatladybird and this one by @eyelinerdean, @donestiel's incredible poetry gif edit series and I'm very excited to keep reading more on the @spnpoetryrenaissance blog. Has anyone seen a 2024 prompt list? Asking for reasons.
PS if you'd like to be added to a tag list for my ficrecs going forward please let me know!
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Title: The Best People in Life are Free
Author: You-cant-spell-subtext-without, DoctorProfessorSong
Artist: Nat
Songs (by era)
Midnights: Antihero
Speak Now: Haunted
Singles: Eyes Open (Hunger Games Soundtrack)
Reputation: Getaway Car
Fearless: White Horse
Debut: Picture to Burn
Evermore: Champagne Problems
Folklore: This is me Trying
Red: All Too Well (10 Min Version)
Lover: Daylight
1989: New Romantics
Posting date: October 2, 2023
Rating: Explicit
Any archive warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Top 10 main tags: Brothel AU, monsters are real, monsterfucking, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, special kids reimagined, blood freak Sammy, Demon Dean Winchester, wing kink, y’all should probably just assume there are references to a lot of kinks actually, it is a brothel
Summary
Strip clubs aren't the only business that runs on daddy issues. Welcome to the Den of Iniquity, the premiere brothel in Port Charles, where you can get service with a smile and a hell of a show - but the main attraction is Dean Winchester, a saucy and sassy courtesan hiding his family tragedies and shattered literary dreams with smooth moves and a give-em-hell attitude.
When President Shurley asks his formerly estranged son Cas to go undercover at the Den, he's less than equipped for success - down to his desperate cover story that he's a playwright despite knowing nothing about writing.
However, he finds himself significantly more enthusiastic after he meets Dean - who harbors a deep poet's soul beneath the surface of his glitzy work persona. They awaken the Muse - and each other, both on and beyond the brothel stage.
But Dean and Cas are both harboring secrets that threaten the precarious joy they've managed to find, and external forces in Port Charles may threaten any chance they have at both future and freedom. Will all be lost? Or will the show, as always, go on? Grab your lube, mind the tags, and join us for a spectacular musical journey we're all making up as we go.
Author tumblr: @doctorprofessorsong @you-cant-spell-subtext-without
Link to Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50418625/chapters/127388140
Artist tumblr: @milfycas
Link to Art: https://www.tumblr.com/milfycas/730109814503604224/here-is-my-art-submission-for-the-dcbtv-2023?source=share
#submission#deancas bang (taylor’s version)#destiel#dcbtv#swifties#swiftnatural#deancas#castiel#dean winchester#taylor swift#destiel fan art
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Hey, darlings! it’s me again, Anz.
I'm starting another round of gifsets commissions (you remember I make cool gifs, right? ) to try to raise some money for my mom’s 💗 health. It’s nothing too serious yet, more like a preventive measures, but it’s very important. And since it’s kinda hard now to find a spare money (yeah, the war is still here... 🇺🇦) I'm kindly asking for your support!
All is the same - you make a request into my askbox and donate any amount of money (literally ANY, every cent counts ✊!) to my PayPal account [email protected]. I'm making everything SPN (except for the 15.20, sorry!) and... you know... any other shows or movie as well, I guess? 😉
once again thank you so much for everything!
❤️❤️❤️
tagging my lovely mutuals under the cut for sb!
@ne8ula @immortalcassia @seraphcastiel @mishha @fromperdition @subbydean @bluefirecas@castiel @deanskitchen @alivedean @novemberthee5th @becauseofthebowties @theedorksinlove @chrrispine @you-cant-spell-subtext-without @sarahblakes @jacobglaser @chaoticdean @archivistsammy @bebecas @sourpatchdean @hellfirecas @xofemeraldstars @finalgirlstiel @buckhelped-archive @burnhamandtilly @achillestiel @acklesology @postpunkdean @dadstiel @emeraldcas @saileen-away @greatcometcas@deanncastiel @valleydean @chapeldean @sobernatural @mjulmjul @altarofrowena@presentlydean @carveredlund @thepixelagora @demonlandline @inacatastrophicmind @nicostiel @one-more-offbeat-anthem @youre-only-gay-once @sailorsally
#sb#anz speaks#commissions#fieryfrankie#seraphcastiel#becauseofthebowties#scottstiles#useralison#userdorksinlove#userkels#chapeldean#userjactingjoices#bluefirecas
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today's mood - silly comic
inspired by @you-cant-spell-subtext-without (don't ask why)
#slightly nsfw?#destiel#deancas#castiel#cas#dean winchester#supernatural#spn#fanart#art#spn fanart#spn comic#destiel fanart#destiel comic#mine#my art
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*me pointing to various Touhou characters asking you to explain them* I would love to know more about this girl!! Love her hat fr
thats marisa kirisame, self-proclaimed ordinary magician, and shes the series deuteragonist! i love her to pieces
she first showed up in the second title, touhou fuumaroku ~ the story of eastern wonderland., which was the first game in the series to be a shmup and the first to have dialogue, so in many respects you could consider her basically around since the start of the franchise. in it, she appeared as a boss fight, but from then on she became the secondary playable character option. shes appeared in more games than reimu has by now actually!
marisa is a human from the human village in gensoukyou who ran away from home to pursue magic. she lives in a shop* she set up in the forest, where she spends her time researching magic and danmaku to improve her skills.
personality-wise, marisa could be best described as tomboyish (i hate this term too but its the quickest way to get her deal across), especially near the beginning of the franchise. she's talkative, quippy, and confident in herself. her trademark manner of speaking includes a lot of "-ze" at the end of phrases, just to hammer this in. as a kid she often behaved in rude or impulsive ways, but in the later parts of the series she's matured quite a bit, and comes across a lot more well-adjusted than reimu in many regards.
speaking of which, marisa is a fun contrast to reimu in tons of ways. although her laissez-faire attitude often makes her come across as rather lackadaisical compared to reimu's jaded, practical outlook on her role in gensoukyou, marisa is much more free-spirited, self-driven, and passionate about her craft. as doc has phrased it in this very very good stream (which i highly recommend as an intro explanation to the franchise despite its length), marisa is "an incredibly hard worker, and doesnt want anyone to know it." compared to reimu, we get narration from marisa's perspective very often, and get a lot of insight into her outlook through it. she serves as the emotional intelligence and learned experience to contrast with reimu's pragmatism, making them a fantastic duo dynamic as the protagonists of the franchise.
she does a lot of research into how to improve herself by analyzing the spells of other characters in the franchise, and determining how best to incorporate their patterns into her own moveset of danmaku—you could consider her an "open source programmer" of magic. her most well-known spell card, love sign "master spark", is a danmaku pattern she borrowed from yuuka kazami, while adding her own touches like the extra star bullets to truly make it her own.
also because i talked about trans subtext for like every other one of these infodumps i should mention she has a lot of that. her given name is made up of extremely unusual kanji (like the "ma" being taken from "mahou" meaning magic), especially compared to her very straightforward last name, which makes it really likely that she chose a name for herself. not to mention the whole "running away from home because your family wont let you be a magician" thing is ripe for analogy. also she lives in the forest and scavenges mushrooms and learns magic what more explanation do you want from me
theres probably more i should add about marisa because shes got so much depth but i cant think of more to elaborate on right now. shes great. if you get into touhou you will see a whole bunch of her, and she will make you love her without fail!
*she calls it a shop, but no one seems to show up and buy anything since it's in the middle of nowhere, nor does she seem like shes interested in selling whatever she has on hand in there.
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gotham knights is going to be filmed in atlanta!! thanks @you-cant-spell-subtext-without for asking misha about it!! it’s probably gonna start filming in september and be released in january!!
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Gonna be parasocial for a second and I don’t mean to jerk tears, but I’m warmed that he’s reaching new heights in his career after leaving SPN yet is still so devoted to Dean and playing in the SPNverse that he wants to hold onto it, even when the world is his oyster right now. I mean, he’s in Paris for a premiere of an Emmy nominated show he’s been made the cover of this past year, but he still wants to grant young, diverse actors a chance to carry the SPN legacy partly because he still wants the choice to go back and be Dean. I’m very warmed and very soft. Okay, parasocial panda moment over. 🥲
yes yes yes. all of this yes. also just watching the little videos of him from the upfronts and then the blue carpet for the Boys today; he's getting more well-known, he's doing all these things - and yet you can still see him taking the time to be so warm and friendly with fans. he's still an appreciator of those who support him out there, and seeing that made me really fond <3
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Unless he was scripted to do/say something (more) inappropriate to them, the line drawn may have been more severe than a balking at gay people scene. Jensen said he went in trying to do things that would get SB canceled and being shocked at queer PDA feels like a low risk example. His “as a father, as a son, as a human being I can’t do this” tells me harm to a child or a non-con advance — something in that line of vulgar, horrific, and/or unforgivable. On the flip side, it could just be a dignity thing, in that case something off color in a more lighthearted-yet-still-morally/ethically-screwed-up way, so he and Kripke compromised. Though I’d love to hear your train of thought with the homophobia peek we were given.
oh I definitely dont think the mention of SB balking at gay people was THE line; I was leaning in the other direction you mention - that perhaps he drew the line at more extensive conduct that was adjacent to or resulting from the character's homophobia - so perhaps some action in response to SB's discomfort with the new 'modern' society he's awakened in that could also flare out to some of the conduct you're referencing (internalized and externalized homophobia can lead to severely unacceptable conduct as we know).
I also have some iced coffee related theories on why SB would be PARTICULARLY upset with gay people as projection of his own core sexuality and repressing it throughout his life (similar to what the show has repeatedly reinforced about supes like Ezekiel who preach praying the gay away while hooking up with men in the supe sex club, for example). this also ties into the current climate of Republican senators who may be pushing certain agenda's due to their own self-internalized shame over their identity (and that theory would co align with the commentary in the article ab how Kripke's writing in the show sometimes seems to predict our political climate at the time of its airing in advance.)
I am personally foaming at the mouth at an exploration of a potentially repressed bi SB; w the shock of Herogasm as an added factor and the presence of Maeve whose storyline has already been used as a commentary on erasure of bisexuality in Hollywood (so SB could be an expansion of that overall and also a side commentary on how difficult it is specifically for bisexual men in the realm of celebrity). as an aside, I know people are wary of kripke in SPN fandom overall, but I actually watched The Boys first so that's been. my first impression and I def see this as a storyline he would be interested in doing (and DEF w someone as nuanced and talented of an actor as Jensen who could show both the horrible repercussions of living life in this manner as well as evoke sympathy from the audience at some of the struggles the character goes through that make him this way).
#you cant spell subtext without asks#nonnie#spn cast#the boys#the boys theories#soldier boy#soldier boy predictions#king!jackles
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came to tell you i agree. i’m not here to say we should center his feelings out of everyone’s, but he clearly found the community to be a loving place and as a committed ally who has had past ~experiences~ and participated in gender non-conformity, he’s as valid to stick around as he’s always been, self-labeled straight or not. hurt is hurt and feelings should be felt. read a very well worded thread on twitter about why someone felt uncomfortable and pained, and even if i did not entirely agree, they said it in concern, not anger. (i can link it to you if you’d like.) so i see why people aren’t quick to accept apologies. but older queers will know and understand that this community was for the weirdos. for those of us othered because of gender and sex that did not follow societal norms. and this includes polyamory. it still is about all of this. this whole community is not for gatekeeping, and he has invested heartfelt support for more years than many here have even been alive. i also strongly doubt he would want to be the reason so many here hurt each other with words and bitterness. he gave us all safety, validity. he is the reason i unlearned so much self-sabotage and came out to family for the first time last year, who warmly accepted me. his words were fumbled, he has a lot of reflection to do, but he is still misha. still kind, intelligent, outspoken, an ally, and there with an ear and a shoulder when literally no one else would listen. erasing that is the antithesis of the empathy he has always preached. please be kinder to each other and to yourselves. i can safely promise you it’s the only thing he wants.
thank you for this. I legitimately swing from being okay to feeling like im pulled in the seven different directions, and your ask knitted me back together a bit. it feels like folks can't seem to grasp that its okay to 1. care for those that are hurting; 2. care about Misha; 3. be hurting yourself; and 4. want the entire fandom to take a breath and stop blaming one another. this can all coexist in a very big messy way and also it isn't fun to feel all of it at once and I want to crawl into a blanket fort and sleep for ten days.
'this community is for the weirdos' is prob the best take I've heard all day and I absolutely agree. I also saw your other ask and ty for looking for that thread (I want to say I've prob read it prior to its deletion, but I've read a few today that express very valid pain without accusation or blame and I have appreciated them.)
I also appreciate you and your words. <3
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I feel like everyone making the RIP jass equations jokes are showcasing their ages. (Both chronically and mentally) bc most seem to be in their early 20s from what I’ve seen. And wow have I got news for them about older bodies. Jensen looks great add to it that while he bulked up he didn’t seem to do it in an unhealthy manner
he honestly looks better than plenty of folks half his age; but yeah I think its just...such a disregard for how difficult that is to do and maintain on such a level especially while filming and traveling and shooting.
plus also I just don't get how mocking anyone's bodily appearance is funny. that kind of humor is harmful.
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is it bad that i started off like “what a pos. even jensen can’t make me like him.” but now the more we see him the more i like him? god tested me, ackles won. i swear i’m a good person.
its ok its ok even the good ones fall (see: Castiel).
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regarding the mean-spirited jass memes, i think people need to get over themselves. he’s a naturally slim white dude over 40 who’s had maybe 2/3 of a year to bulk up (that’s not a lot! and largely focused on upper body from what i gather). based on that, tbh even regardless of that, he looks good. of course he does. not to mention the smoke and angle, so the equation comparing people are being a bit dramatic imo lol. an ass is an ass, his is just as good as any other. also, seconded on having an ED and the body shaming stuff — it’s not cute. jensen may not see it, but your insecure friends will. i have a decent ass, i’m proud of it, but even i wouldn’t want it on the internet for others to scrutinize. not when an unfortunate number of people just want to poke fun for the sake of it, you know.
it is SO difficult and strenuous to put on lean muscle like that, and ample amounts of it in such a short period of time (specifically when your body type doesn't lean in that direction in its natural resting state!) and anyone disregarding his hard work for this role both physically and mentally should stfu. it's absurd to me that in 2022 people can actually pat themselves on the back for making disgusting unwarranted body shaming jokes straight off the pages of some middle school mean girls (gn) burn book. also, if anyone were to make this joke about any of the female actors on the show, they would be booed off the internet. what makes jackles body ups for grabs then?
his ass is absolutely above average by even the Hollywood standard BUT EVEN IF IT WASNT up to par with some weird baseline for 'beauty' in respect to a posterior, maybe folks should reassess exactly what standard/norm they're perpetuating with their 'humor.'
your tush is beautiful. keep being proud of it. thank you for the ask :)
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This one?
https://archiveofourown.org/series/2898063
YOU ARE A GEM
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Our guy making waves on diverse, anti-copaganda, anti-capitalist shows with powerhouse actors. Love to see it.
I feel like a proud human but also terrified and maybe just a little horny its a complicated day
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