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#youll never feel them back
brightbluekicks · 2 years
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the like shitshow ordeal of having a conversation with someone that i was in love with and finding out they have known that i had feelings for them this whole time. lovely.
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sketchy-tour · 4 months
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Wonder what I should specifically draw to go about testing my lining brush. I need to make some kind of drawing to finish that's easy before I go tackling my bigger pieces again.
🤔 hmmmm Yall got suggestions?
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skitskatdacat63 · 6 months
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Boy King Seb :D
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#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#boy.king!seb.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such
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frecklydork · 8 months
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THE LOVES OF MY LIFE OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 it's been so long since I've rly felt love bursting in my chest for any F/Os and I am feeling so so so so much for my girlboss girlfriend and my horsegirl boyfriend 😭😭😭💖💞💓💓💗💖💕💕💕💟💝
Her smile!!! god!!!! HIS smile!!!! god!!! these two are fucking saving my life I can't believe how much these characters are helping me get through the worst time of my life. THESE TWO are helping me get back into self shipping and helping me feel safe again when I really thought I'd never ever recover. I'm collecting screenshots of these characters and sighing with hearts in my eyes every time... I haven't done that in over a year... I'm making gifsets and writing fics and doodling again... it's all because of them and I'm such a weepy mess over it
#love notes#💕♫♪ ♡ You're the pink in my cheeks 🎀🌸✨♡#💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-#every time i make a love notes post with them i get teary eyed and um this isnt an exception 😭😭#theyre making me so happy and i havent felt this way in so long#im fucking happy you guys... god i havent felt. joy. with any F/Os in so so so so long!!!!!#self shipping is like. the core part of me. its all i've got and i went so long without it. that piece of me I NEED#fuck i finally found two F/Os who i know love me no matter what#and they're holding my hands telling me they'll never ever hurt me. wouldnt dream it. couldnt even fathom it#and slowly but surely i HOPE i will get back into self shipping just in general especially for transformers#but god. god!!!! god!!! i owe them my life!!!!#i couldnt fucking take it anymore i was falling so far and they!!!! are here!!!! in my heart!!!!#i was doing so fucking badly i was about to give up and they just. this movie comes out and im suddenly hopeful??#pinkest movie of all time barbie rly said keri fuck your ptsd fuck your abuser youre getting better#and youll love pink again and youre gonna be okay and im like yes maam whatever u say maam#god 😭😭 sorry i know i talk abt them a lot but its been so long#and i know i keep repeating! that its been so long! i know i dont shut up about how im hurting! but!#i cant! describe how overwhelmed i feel! its like a part of me that was dead for a year is slowly coming back to life#and the fucking relief... i am just awash with tears
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blur0se · 8 months
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Oh man someone else pointed out that another time he does that was in syren when he threatened to give up the ring its a similar pattern in the new york special and in kuro neko he doesnt really want to leave he wants to be chased but marinettes reaction is that he made his choice and she can't make him take it back (which is a reasonable reaction and why this tendency to test people is deeply unhealthy)
(Again marinette did literally chase adrien after he gave up the ring in the new york special but neither of then know that which I think is rewiring my brain)
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amatres · 2 months
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🌺 Layla loves receiving homemade gifts, but on the flip side expensive gifts make her nervous.
oh, interesting! layla is the sort of person who will appreciate any gift, no matter the cost, as long as the intent behind it was genuine. what doesn't matter so much is it's price or monetary value, but simply the person who gifted it to her did so because they cared for her. how she approaches being given one fully depends on the gift giver's demeanor!
if she thinks they did it just to buy her, she'd be much more flippant with it than say, someone did it because they were trying to give her a fun gift to make her laugh (how she at first interpreted daeran's gifts F) or because they're trying to make a romantic gesture of some kind and will go according to the situation
that was very long winded explanation Lmao. all that said however i am going to give this a 6/10, i won't lie and say expensive gifts dont get assumed to be more joke gifts (sorry daeran...) or someone trying to buy her off for one reason or another. the later definitely make it much harder for someone to approach her and continue to have a relationship with her after that point, as she'll get uncomfortable and perhaps even scared depending on the situation
either way, it's definitely not the best way of getting her attention if your intention is you're trying to court her lol
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misfortunegirl · 10 months
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obligatory photo to sum my feelings up
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arolesbianism · 1 month
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Just remembered that Olivia is left to seep in humanities grave for an unforeseeable future and that the best she can do in the face of a reality that she can barely interact with is peeter out with a whimper. Fucking hell (<- tragedy enjoyer entering chat)
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mysicklove · 4 months
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summary: Yuuji finds himself sick, and it gives him a perfect opportunity to spend time with his older brother.
wc: 1.8k
a/n: its back friends. all i think about is them.
big brother au masterlist
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Yuuji lets out a mucus-filled cough and Sukuna cringes. The toddler turns to him and sniffles with a frown on his face. The elder, in return, rolls his eyes but readjusts the cool rag on his brother's forehead. "Don't look at me like that. Whose fault is this? If you do stupid things, you have to pay the consequences, little pest."
The boy doesn't move; instead, he just stubbornly shakes his head. "W-Wanted to play!"
"In the rain? Without any warm clothes? You truly are an idiot," Sukuna scolds, grabbing Yuuji's water bottle from the nightstand and forcing it into the little boy's mouth. 
Yuuji developed a fever this morning after sneaking out into the backyard last night to play in the rain puddles. Now he was stuck in bed, which was hard for the toddler who was always on the go and harder for Sukuna, who has to pretend that he isn't worried sick. 
You walk into the boy's room, and Yuuji immediately looks towards you. He tears the sippy cup from his mouth and lets out a high-pitched whine, already beginning to reach his arms toward you. He knows youll coddle him, unlike his brother, and the exhausted boy was craving attention. When you make it over the bed, he reaches his hands upward to you and pleads, "Up! Up!"
You frown at the boy, already reaching down to scoop him up, but Sukuna quickly intervenes, gently slapping your hand away. "No. He might get you sick too. Brat, you stay in bed."
The toddler opens his mouth to protest, but another cough cuts him off. Then, with watery eyes, he turns to Sukuna and nods. "Yes, b-brother."
You coo at the boy, using your palm to cup his warm cheek and thumb at the soft skin. Yuuji rests his entire head on the touch, and you frown. "Poor baby," You sigh, and Yuuji, ever the one to love being doted on, nods pitifully, adding an extra sniffle for effect. Sukuna almost rolls his eyes at the action.
"Why don't you coddle me like that when I am sick?" Sukuna complains before reaching over and pulling the blanket higher up Yuuji's chest. The boy mumbles out a thank you, but the elder ignores him.
"You whine too much, act like you are dying. Yuuji isn't being dramatic, huh Yuuji?" The boy nods, gripping your arm and rubbing his face into your hand.
"No," he mumbles, "Not being dramatic!" He lets out a loud whine, and Sukuna already knows what's coming. "Feel so bad. Hurts!"
The boy seems to curl around your arm, and Sukuna sighs. "Yeah. Not dramatic at all." The kid sounds exactly like Sukuna when he is sick. Just minutes before, he proclaimed to Sukuna that he wanted to play again, even if he was still immensely ill. He just wanted attention, and it was obvious to everyone but you.
"I know, I know. I'm sorry, Yuuji. I brought you some medicine that will make you feel better." The boy's face drops at the word, and he hesitantly lets go of your arm. Sukuna barks a laugh at Yuuji's now twisted face. 
The toddler shakes his head gently, too tired to show his real disapproval. "N-No! No medicine!" It always tasted horrible to the toddler, and he knows that if he whines enough, he may be able to get his way.
Sukuna sighs, holding out his hand to you, and you drop the bottle into it. Then, he pours a copious amount of the pink strawberry-flavored liquid, made specifically for children, into the small measuring cup. 
Yuuji starts to scoot backward on the bed, trying to create some distance between the two. The elder does not let him go far – he grabs Yuuji's hand and places the small cup into it. "Now drink it, or I'm forcing it down your throat."
The boy gulps, glancing at you, who gives him an encouraging nod. Then he places it to his lips but pauses. "Go on," Sukuna demands.
"I want a treat after!" 
Sukunas barks a malicious laugh, and you raise your eyebrows at the boy. You have never heard him try to negotiate before. "Bullshit. Your "treat" is not to be stuck in bed, weakling."
You narrow your eyes at him when you hear the curse word, but Sukuna shrugs it off. Yuuji, on the other hand, eyes widen, and he shakes his head. "Bad word!" He then turns to you in confirmation, pointing at his brother. "He said a bad word!"
You nod your head at him, trying to hide a smile. You were glad that your lessons of not saying curse words stuck with the boy, even with his brother's foul mouth. "Yes, he did. Sukuna, now you definitely owe him a treat afterward."
Sukuna glares at you, but you are used to it, so you instead just flash him a grin. You have told him a multitude of times how you feel about him saying curse words in front of the kid. You didn't want him to grow up so similarly to Sukuna; as much as you love the man, his dirty mouth is not something you hope Yuuji will inherit. 
Sukuna turns his attention back to his brother. "You little–"
"Please, Kuna?" Yuuji pleads, letting out another cough that makes him nervous. He rubs at his temple.
"Fine. Whatever. Just drink it, you manipulative brat." Yuujis eyes lighten up, and he brings the artificially smelling liquid to his mouth, cringing but drinking the entire thing. When he pulls away, his face is contorted in disgust, and he looks toward you. You run your fingers through his hair and praise the small boy, grabbing the small cup from his hands. 
Sukuna curtly nods his head. "Good. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, brat, but we are out of chocolate. No treat for you," He fake pouts at the boy, but Yuuji, in turn, just shakes his head with a small smile.
"Not what I want."
Sukuna raises his eyebrow, thinking for a second, before sighing. "We are out of popsicles too."
"Not that either!" Yuuji shakes his head with this one, and you cock your head to the side in confusion.
Sukuna borderline growls at the boy. "We are not watching Human Earthworm 2. Last time you nearly pissed yourself from how afraid you were." You laugh at the memory, remembering how much Yuuji pleaded to watch it for days, only to have it be turned off twenty minutes into the movie. The poor boy would make Sukuna walk him to the bathroom at night because he was so afraid of being alone in the dark.
Yuuji pouts at him, and another small cough it let out. You grab him some more water, and the boy mumbles a thank you before turning back to his brother. "I wasn't scared! And no, not that either!"
Sukuna pinches the bridge of his nose, trying not to lose his temper. "What do you want then?"
The smile on Yuuji's face returns, even with the pinkened cheeks and the little bits of sweat on his temples. "Want Kuna to cuddle me!"
Your eyes widen, and you can't stop the laugh that leaves your mouth. Sukuna, on the other hand, goes silent for a long moment. "Not happening. Pick something else."
Yuuji whines out, shaking his head stubbornly. "Nooooo. You said I get a treat!"
"You are going to get me sick."
The boy sniffles at him, shaking his head. "Th-Thought brother was the strongest…"
This makes you grin, knowing your lover's ego well. And just like you thought, Sukuna lets out a dramatically large sigh. "Fucking–Fine. Whatever. Scoot over." You and Yuuji both let the curse word slide, being shocked at him actually agreeing.
Yuuji slides over, and Sukuna forces his way under the blankets beside the boy. You sit and watch as Yuuji basically scampers up Sukuna's chest until his head is placed in the elder's neck and his entire body is on top of the man. "Okay, really?" Sukuna grumbles, and you chuckle at him. "Are you some sort of spider monkey now?"
The boy hums in agreement, pressing himself impossibly closer to his brother. You take this time to stand up from the bed, having no room to fit you both. Sukuna watches you begin to leave and frowns at you. "Where are you going?"
This was a perfect time to give them some bonding time. So you shrug, "I'll be right back."
"You better be," Sukuna grumbles and Yuuji coincidentally sneezes into his neck. The man's whole body jerks, and he cringes. "Hey! None of that, that's disgusting!"
Yuuji whimpers, wrapping his arms tighter around his brother as if he was afraid to leave. Then he whispers an apology, and Sukuna rolls his eyes again.
You grab the door to the handle and step outside. "Well, have fun you two. Yuuji, feel better!"
Yuujis cranes his neck to look at you and waves back to you with a small smile, content in his position. Sukuna, on the other hand, glares at you. "Dont you dare leave me here with this brat."
You huff a laugh, ignoring him and already planning what movie you will watch by yourself. "Love you!"
"Hey!" He yells when you shut the door on him.
And, of course, luck is not always on Sukuna's side. When you come to check on them two hours later, you find them both passed out – Yuuji practically smothers Sukuna with his tiny body, drooling on the elder's face. You leave them like that, not thinking much of it.
But three days go by, and somehow Sukuna finds himself stuck in bed with a fever. He never dared to mention that Yuuji probably got him sick, his pride getting the better of him. 
You and the kid walk into your shared bedroom, Yuuji with a massive smile, finally feeling better, and you with a content grin. Sukuna slowly peers over to the door and groans out loud and dramatic. 
"Dont worry, Kuna! Dr. Yuuji is here to take care of you!" He cheers, grabbing his toy stethoscope and shuffling over to the bed. He manages to climb onto the bed with his brother without much trouble, and you follow him, sitting on the bed next to your lover. Like you did with Yuuji, you ran your fingers through his hair, trying to comfort him.
Sukuna peers at you, eyes slightly lighting up and a familiar grin pulling at his face. You already know something inappropriate is about to leave his mouth.
"I would feel so much better if you were in a nurse costume right now." But before you could try to reply, Yuuji shuts him up by shoving a toy thermometer into his mouth.
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thvhoe · 3 months
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Sweeter Than Fiction | JJK
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PAIRING: Boxer!Jungkook x Ballerina!Reader
GENRE: ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, BOXING AU, DANCE AU, SMUT, FLUFF ANGST
WORDS: 15K
SUMMARY:
Youre so in love yet miles apart–when navigating trust and distance–What's left to lose? Besides yourselves.
WARNINGS: Angst, JUNGKOOK SMOKING, toxic mom, toxic mindsets, high expectations, mom living her dream through y/n, naive Oc (lowkey), drugs, Jungkook is mad and sad and curses a lot, they are SO whipped for each other, MRS. CHUU SLAYYYYY, its kinda sad tho-, cursing, they're complete opposites, cringe nicknames (obviously), ANNOYING inner thoughs AGAIN, reader is insecure (even more now) shes sad :(, emo boy Jk, inexperienced reader, she feels anxious and alone, bad thoughts
A/N: lord have mercy
You can't pinpoint the exact moment you returned to the hotel, got off your sweaty clothes and into the shower. It was as if time had stopped and everything around you was unreal. The water streaming down your shoulders, hips, and legs, eventually collecting at your feet, scarcely registered in your mind.
You let out a big sigh as you reach for a bottle of shampoo and began massaging it into your hair, savouring the unhurried and careless action. After all, you didn't have anywhere else to be anyway.
Youre pretty sure your moms fast asleep, so you could take your sweet time getting ready for bed, doing your way too long skincare and maybe putting on a movie while youre at it.
The thought of some much needed selfcare puts a smile on your face.
Tomorrow, when you drive back, the trip that would normally take only two hours would probably seem to last forever or to pass in the blink of an eye. Youll soon find out. It's almost as if you've been gone for a few hours, not a whole day.
Everything passed by so fast...the competition, the performance, the drive back to the hotel. It all passed in the blink of an eye and its almost as if your body is moving on its own at this point, your soul just existing within.
Now staring at the mirror fresh out the shower a hollow version of yourself reflects in it, eyes staring into your own as you refelct on every decision that lead you to meet Jungkook.
What would have happened if you hadn't sneaked away to the beach that day? What would have happened if Jungkook hadn't shown up? What if you hadn't scolded him?
"The fish... you know, you could've unintentionally harmed them with the size of those rocks you threw,"
"Fuck the fish,"
"I don't care about some damn fish,"
A giggle leaves your lips at the memory, your hand brushing over your face to clean of the rest of the makeup from today.
You notice a pool of red and grey forms in the water. You can't help but feel relieved as you wash your face, knowing it's now cleaner than it was before.
Its relieving
Applying makeup has always been your least favourite aspect of ballet. Sure, it made you look nice, but taking it off was always a pain. You actually looked better without it, in your opinion. However, whenever you applied makeup, especially when you had a date with Jungkook, there was still a sense of excitement and fun.
Aaand there he was again, filling your thoughts all the time.
Jungkook
Jungkook
Jungkook
Your mind wanders to what hes up to. Was he thinking about you, as well? Or had he gone on with his life?
It's a scary thought.
Maybe that was it? That he might have ended your relationship that day by abruptly leaving your house.
You take deep breath in then out again.
Calm down.
The possibility had never occurred to you before. Could that have been his way of silently saying "we're done"? The ambiguity persists, putting you in a fit of emotions and unresolved questions.
Theres no way hed broken up with you...right? Its true he hasnt texted you in a few days but thats...that was normal after a fight right?
But then again, you didnt even fight, hed just...left.
"Darn it," you murmur as you drop the moisturiser you were using, your hands trembling as you pick it up and close the lid, cleaning up the spilled product.
Fortunately, this diverted your attention away from the tension that was building up in your entire body as you turned off the light and went to bed, ready to leave first thing the next morning.
-
"Do you plan on staying in here all day?" Your mother's voice stops your train of thought, her small figure stationed at the hotel room's entryway.
You take a breather from cramming the last few items into your small pink Remowa suitcase, a gift from Mrs. Chuu on your 16th birthday five years ago.
The memory brings a grin to your face. While you've never been one to seek out the latest Chanel bag or any other high end brand, this thing holds a special place in your heart.
"For when i cant accompany to any competitions" she winks
Your smile grows wider, cheeks roud as you look up at her in adoration "wow" you sigh "thank you so much mrs. Chuu" you hug her tightly, causisng her to let out a huff, patting your back.
"Y/n!" Your mother's voice calls out again, leading you to zip up the bag and apologise to her as you walk to the door. Taking one last look at the room so you wont forget anything.
"Sorry," you begin, knowing that ignoring her is a fast way to irritate her. You've already crossd the line thanks to the shower and long skincare routine in the bathroom that disrupted her "precious" sleep last night. Oh well, you think, brushing off the slight inconvenience.
Your mom wouldnt accept a sorry anyway, so you wondered why you still continued to say it over and over again.
"Have you heard anything from Dad yet?How is his arrival in Australia going?" You ask nonchalantly as you walk past the beautiful reception of the 5 star hotel.
You feel a pang of regret for missing out on the breakfast buffet–you're a sucker for those, but it's too late, and you need to get home before dinner to enjoy the last rays of sun at the beach before it gets dark
"Hes doing fine," your mother says, nodding. "He's pleased with how well you did. I sent him the video of your performance yesterday," she says, a proud smile on her lips. The pride, however, isn't for you; it's because, once again, shes the center of attention of other parents. People admire her for your performance.
You notice how her sense of accomplishment grows with each competitionyou win.
There was a time she used to show you old pictures of herself when she was your age or even younger, she seemed happy, beaming with contentment.
That bliss, however, appears to have hidden deep within her, only to resurface when shes able to live her ballet dreams vicariously through you.
You really appreciate your mutual love of ballet.
Its something that bonds tbe two fo you together.
However, with each tournament you win and price you receive, you can't shake the idea that you're progressively transforming into your mother. What if you end up acting just like her? After all, like she often points out, you two were so similar when you were younger.
You sigh.
Sometimes You can't sleep at night because you're afraid of becoming just like her. You find yourself overthinking, considering whether or not you should have children in the future for that exact reason. What if you put your failed dreams on them, like she did on you?
Shaking your head you drift back to reality.
"Remind him to bring those cookies he got last time," you grin, recalling the treat your father brought back from his previous business trip to Australia two years earlier.
"Don't you think those aren't exactly healthy?" your mother asks as she slips into the car, dragging her new chanel bag with her as you get in from the other side. You roll your eyes.
"It's not like I'll eat them all in one go," you say with a sigh. "Plus, after yesterday, I think I deserve a sweet treat. I'm sick of the same rice and chicken routine," you complain, hoping to persuade her.
Your mother, on the other hand, chooses to disregard your complaints. So you make a mental note to text your dad about those cookies, determined to get what you want. Besides asking him how hes doing of course.
You: hope your flight wasnt too long, mom and i miss you.
You: do bring back some of the cookies you bought last time😋 love you
With that you turn off your phone, the car having started driving a few minjtes ago as you now stare out the window.
Going back home and having to face your problems again was the least you wanted to do right now.
-
"Youre looking for y/n" she breathes out. And Jungkooks world clashes down.
Her words are soft. But hold more meaning than she probably knows. If she found out about you two, that would mean your mom would as well.
He remembers you telling him the two of them were close;
"They hang out from time to time for tea or lunch"
Shit.
Lie, Jungkook. Come up with a good fucking lie because this woman looks like she knows every fucking unholy thing hes ever done
"I have no fucking idea what you're talking about," Jungkook's voice trembled with agitation. His tattooed fists clenched hard at his sides, the pressure turning his knuckles white.
His skin was burning hot, the desire to take off his annoying leather jacket becoming stronger by the minute.
But he was out of here soon enough for him to need it again. So he kept it on. Sweat forming on his forehead.
Youd be so mad if you found out he was here without letting you know beforehand. Fuck. What was his plan anyway?
What would he have done if you were, in fact, here? Finishing up your class, cleaning up the mirror and floor, in your cute pink outfit-
Goddamnit.
"Im sorry for fucking running away from the truth like a fucking idiot" ?
Now thinkjng about it, Jungkook came here unprepared. More than he thought.
For fucks sake Jungkook, get it together.
It wasn't that he was unfamiliar with lying, or that he was particularly awful at it. On the contrary, hed lied about a bunch of shit in his life. Ditching school, ditching family funktions...
But this situation had him in a vice grip, choking the words right out of him. The questions that ran through his head were never-ending. How did she find out? That Was he the one? Did you tell her about him all along? Did she find out the truth on her own? His thoughts were a swirl of perplexity and distrust.
What. The. Fuck.
"If I hear one more obscenity from you, you'll be asked to leave," her calm but firm voice said. It was undoubtedly similar to how you had described her in the early days of your relationship–kind, yet demanding respect and obedience.
"Shes lovely...but you have to have a certain etiquette to..." you drift off, your eyes narrowing. "-to be on her good side?" You tilt your head and Jungkook tilts it right back "i think shed love you regardless, but lets still not...make a big fuss about us being together" you sigh
"Listen," he says, his voice husk and shaky "I don't belong here." His words vibrate through the air, heavy with his desire to leave. "And I'm not going to fucki-" Her strong gaze abruptly ends his sentence. So he takes a big breath and clears his throat before continuing. "What I mean is, I'm not going to pretend that I do."
His arms cross over his chest, creating a protective barrier. Its something hes always done, as if his much stronger-than-before arms would protect him from anything.
His palm then automatically seeks for the cold metal of his Harley keys in his back pocket not even a milisecond later, a way of showing his intention to leave.
But then the woman in front of him speaks up, her words slamming into him like a train. "Y/n left," she says, words piercing through him like a knife.
The words repeat in his mind, echoing in the vacant places of his heart. Even if she said it ten thousand times, he wouldnt believe it.
You...left?
-
The travel home is relatively laid back, with only some soft music playing on the cars radio. As you get closer to Seoul, you notice the buildings getting bigger and the streets increasing, very different from what the countryside looked like just a few hours ago.
Home sweet home is only a few minutes away. And you can't wait to relax in your own bed, and maybe continue the book you were reading. One you bought with Jungkook a few weeks back.
Darn it.
On the other hand, the beach was calling, remindingbyou of your plans of watching the sun set this morning.
It would be a good way to relax, away from home, away from the proximity of your mom.
Just you and a few birds maybe, although it was getting colder...
Your lips purse as your mind wanders through many thoughts, your gaze examining the passing highways and farmland.
The clothes you're wearing become a little too snug, and the thought of changing into your comfy leggings and hoodie becomes more appealing.
What if you put on Jungkook's? The ones he "accidentally" left at your house?
Shit...
Would it be weird? Wearing your boyfriends or ex boyfriends–you still werent sure–hoodie?
You wonder if they'd still carry his smel–that combination of expensive cologne and a tiny hint of smoke
God you hated it. But it reminded you of him.
A sigh escapes your lips, and you notice your mother's faint eye roll in your peripheral vision. She, as always, refrains from asking any questions.
Good. You didnt want her to.
What would you say anyway?; "yeah im sad cause i have no idea if my boyfriend, that ive been keeping a secret from you for months now, broke up with me"?
Yeah right
You notice your lips getting dry as your fingers absentmindedly scrape away the remnants of chipped nail polish, causing you to grab for your favourite vanilla chapstick.
The familiar aroma reminds you of Jungkook, who, ironically, liked this exact chapstick. It's almost annoying how everything seems to point back to him. You can't help but wonder why the world keeps bringing him up. Even the clouds in the sky have become almlst symbolic- wait is that one shaped like his head?
You accidentally smack your head on the window, causing your mother's head to snap back in disapproval.
"Sorry," you mumble as you apply the chapstick and return it to the pink Dior bag.
You need to get out of here. Now.
A heavy sigh escapes your lips once more, and your mother appears to be about to speak out when the car abruptly comes to a halt.
You've arrived. Finally.
-
"Class is at 5 tomorrow!" your mother yells from downstairs as you take two steps up the stairs, eager to get to your room
"Got it!" you yell back, without looking her in the eyes, not wanting to see the stern look she had in them.
Your bag swings violently from side to side, as if you're fleeing from someone, as you reach the last few steps–you're only trying to catch the sunset thats in...you glimpse at your phone–in exactly 25 minutes.
"You can't be late on your first day back after the competition," she adds, her words reverberating in your ears. As you rip your door open, discarding shoes and garments with eager eyes, quietly praying that your favourite leggings made it into Mrs. Lin's washing machine, you dismissively repeat your earlier statement.
After you, in fact, found your favourite leggings, you reach to your closet for a hoodie.
Your wardrobe was big, but each hoodie you see is either too thin for the weather or just plain ugly.
Ripping out a dark grey one hanging at the very end in a split second choice, you smile, only to see it's one of Jungkook's.
Shit.
But, really, could you expect anything else?
A quick peek at your watch informs you that there is no time for a wardrobe change, so you run back downstairs, praying your mother doesn't notice you wearing a man's hoodie...–under your raincoat at least.
It was supposed to rain today, so walking outside without a jacket wasn't a good idea.
The last thing you needed was to get sick now.
As you pass by the kitchen, a breeze messes up your hair, and the fragrance of coffee slows you down slightly.
Coffee at this hour?
A quick check to your right reveals your mother, clutching a mug of what you suppose is coffee and inspecting you.
Looking up and down, raising a brow and then going back to her magazines. Her hair was tied up in a neat bun like she always had, white expensive sweater over her petite frame as she browsed through what you assumed was the latest issue of vogue or some other of he magazines.
You made a mental note to steal them later to take a look as well.
"Where do you think you're going?" She speaks in that irritated, harsh tone that makes your fingers tingle.
Calm down y/n, you've done nothing wrong. Nothing.
"The beach?" you ask, out of breath from the haste of getting dressed, phone clutched in your hand, even if you didnt exactly need it. No one was gonna text you anyway, and music wasnt the vibe you were going for. It was raining anyway, your headphones would just get damaged.
"This late?" You mom speaks up after a second of finishing the last page and now fully turning her attention to you, something you hated. Feeling seen, by her–her judgement. What didnt she like about you today? Your hair? Your shoes? Your makeup?
Maybe too much make up? Or too little?
You merely nod as she snaps back. "Got a bit of a headache, thought some fresh air might help-" your sentence is cut off, your mom letting out an annoyed sigh as she opens another magazine, Elle, interesting.
You can tell she's trying to care. Sorta. But it never quite lands.
Each and every time. You witness her effort, and while it warms your heart to see her try, it also hurts you since she constantly gives up midway.
"You've been going out a lot lately," she says as she takes another sip of the hot beverage, making you choke as you gaze away from her, your fingers playing with the fabric of Jungkook's sweatshirt that's covered away by the coat. Thank heavens.
It's a difficult position, with a little drizzle beginning to fall outside your windows, making you sigh at the thought of taking a shower after returning from the beach. However, not even the weather could stop you from going out tonight.
You needed this.
Freedom.
Fresh air.
You take a deep breath in, then out.
You needed time alone. For real this time.
"Well, I've been making some friends at the academy, so I've been hanging out with them," you explain, a half-truth hanging in the air. Sure, you've made friends, perhaps more than friends, but not at the academy–rather the contrary.
You don't want your mother to dive into the details–instead, you wait for her to hum, look away, and let you go.
That is what you are wishing for right now. However, she surprises you by turning towards you, her brow furrowed, indicating she isn't going to let you off the hook so lightly.
"Really? Who? Do I know who their parents are?" The question catches you off guard, and you clutch your bag anxiously. Oh, no.
"You don't," you say a little too fast, almost stumbling over your own words before you catch yourself and breathe normally again
Your chapsticked lips let out a frightened laugh. Laughable. You mentally roll your eyes as your mother tilts her head. Please don't ask any more questions, please-
"I hope they're not distracting you too much, you know how I feel about that," she says with a shake of her head. "Perfection can't be achieved by anyone but-"
"Yourself," you finish her phrase, causing her to grimace. "I know," you confess. "I swear I'm fine," you say.
Well, you were, till you weren't.
Why does your mother have to speak to you now, of all times? You're on the verge of missing the sunset! So you take a few steps back saying "I'm going to head out now, I promise I won't be home too late," you say, your steps speeding with each syllable.
Ignoring her calls, you rush out the door, over the patio, into the small forest, and finally to the shore.
Only 10 minutes to go.
As you take in your surroundings, a smile spreads across your face. The sight of birds flying in the air adds to the beauty.
This is home.
The beach had a way of taking away your worries, making them disappear.
The slight aroma of Jungkook's cologne from the borrowed hoodie brings you back to reality as you stand there.
Talk about perfect timing.
-
Despite Jungkook's initial attempt to remain calm and appear unconcerned about Mrs. Chuu's statements, the undeniable truth hung in the air–he came here for you.
Mrs. Chuu was onto him. That was for sure.
Yet, Jungkook avoids looking back at her for the first several seconds, allowing her words to sink in like heavy weights.
'She left.' The words repeat in his head like a endless loop, running marathons around his mind, each repetition amplifying ihis dizziness.
The, the realisation sinks in–he made a huge mistake. Obviously.
'What if' possibilities swirl in his mind like a storm.
"She's at a competition," Mrs. Chuu says, breaking the silence. "You must have really messed it up with her because she decided to participate very spontaneously." The weight of her words hangs heavy on Jungkook as he gulps and turns to face her.
Mrs. Chuu shakes her head in despair as guilt is engraved all over his usually composed features. "I offered her to go a few weeks ago, and for some reason, she immediately denied," she adds as Jungkook remains silent. "Now I know why."
Jungkook's brows knit in bewilderment as a realisation dawns, causing his face to relax for a brief minute.
You refused to go because of him?
You didn't want to be apart from him, even for a day?
The weight of that realisation strikes him like a punch to the gut.
Fuck.
He needed to fix this.
"I was surprised when her mother called me a day before and said she agreed to go after all," Mrs. Chuu's voice fades into background noise of Jungkook's rushing thoughts. As the gravity of the situation sinks in once more.
Then, he fjnally speaks up, his voice huskier than he expected. "Where is she?"
3 words. 3 words that change Mrs. Chuus features into something unreadable.
She sighs, her brow furrowed at him now, aggitated.
"Busan," she says as she crosses her arms. "She comes back tomorrow at around 7 pm.". She doesn't know why she is disclosing so much information to Jungkook. There's a nagging worry that he made a huge mistake, and you'll be mad at her for revealing your whereabouts in the first place.
What if you two had broken up and you never wanted to see him again? And here she was giving him all your information without hesitation.
But her gut was never wrong.
Jungkook's mere presence says a lot. He's come to make things righg, to admit he made a mistake. That must be a good thing, right?
"Busan?!" Jungkook groans, tossing his head back and pacing back and forth, muttering "fucking Busan" under his breath as he shakes his head. His hands play with the key of his harley, fidgeting nervously as he goes through option after option for a way to see you
Mrs. Chuu disapproves of his choice of words once again, forcing him to clear his throat and retort, "How am I supposed to get to Busan this late?" He almost whines, and Mrs. Chuu sighs as she comtinues on cleaning the mirror of the studio, leaving Jungkook to his own
"This boy" she mutters under her breath, making sure to bring him up whenever you have class again. Which was the day after tomorrow, that long she had to wait.
"I'll arrive there at the ass crack of dawn if i head there now" his words feel as helpless as theyre supposed to sound as he looks up the fastest way there on his phone, turning it off right after. It had no use. Youd be asleep whne he arrives.
Mrs. Chuu smacks him with the towel she was cleanig with, and he promptly apologises, easing the tension in the air.
He needs to go find you
Jungkook's thoughts are all over the place, making the room feel stuffy. He can't talk to you today since you're too far away, and calling you now would be a total jerk move. He may not be a relationship expert, but he understands that's not the way things go.
Checking his phone, a few strands of hair fall over his face. It's already 8 pm. Going to Busan at this hour? Yeah, not gonna happen. Plus, if you think about it, you'd definitely hate for him to drive so late at night.
With that in mind, he raises his head again, his eyes round and honest, a stark contrast to his dragon-like gaze just moments before. "Don't tell her mum," he exhales. "If she finds out y/n is with someone like me-" he runs his fingers through his hair, the leather jacket making an uncomfortable noise, breaking the silence.
Mrs. Chuu scoffs and turns back to him.
"What? Do you think I'm a traitor?" She sighs and shakes her head. "You've been with her long enough to know what would happen if she found out," she continues, now turning her entire body towards him, tossing the towel she was using to clean the mirrors as she steps forward.
Jungkook gulps.
"You're not the kind of guy I expected my Y/n-ie to be with," she grimaces before continuing and Jungkook nods, about to say something.
What exactly? He doesnt know. Fuck, he didnt know shit right now, his mind full of you, you and you.
"But she's never been this happy, so I won't say a word to her mum or anyone," she continues. Her face softens, and Jungkook finally sees what you see in her–love and care
It takes Jungkook a minute to process her words, having expected her to say anything but that. But hes glad, relieved that one of the most important people in your life approves of him. Well, sorta.
"Thank you," he exhales, slightly uncomfortably. He usually despised acting nice, but he wasn't acting right now–it was genuine.
There is a little pause before Mrs. Chuu sighs, "Now get out of here." If someone else finds you, you're in big trouble, young man."
Jungkook quickly obeys when she orders him to leave. Finally exiting the academy and heading straight for his black Harley.
His lungs fill with fresh air rather than the delicious perfume of the academy, and the weight lifts off his shoulders as if its never been there in the first place.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow hed talk to you, for real.
-
The rain isn't as severe as expected, and you're relieved since it means you can stay at the beach a little longer without becoming too cold.
It was your last free day, or rather the last few hours before returning to your mundane ballet sessions from 5 am to 1 pm.
The early morning hours had an unmistacable allure that made you feel more productive, therefore the ideal 5 am wake-up call each morning.
But, you frequently found yourself staying in the studio for longer periods of time, going over techniques, polishing routines, immersing yourself in music, and analysing other performance films.
It was your way of relaxing after preactice, something you did instead of reading or redecorating your room for the 10th time in a month.
Being a dancer was definitely rigorous, a never ending pursuit of perfection, but it was also strangely peaceful and satisfying. It was your comfort zone, something you enjoyed doing.
Regardless of your mother's persistent pestering, in the back of your mind, you felt personal growth as you submerged yourself in the steps and melody
A shudder runs down your spine when the rain grows heavier
Jungkook's hoodie is incredibly soft and warm–none of yours came close. Then again, it could just be the fact that it was Jungkook's hoodie, because he had a way of making you feel warm without even being present.
You don't try to shift your thoughts this time. Perhaps this is exactly what you need right now–to let your thoughts wander, to reflect on the wonderful and difficult moments with him, the ups and downs, even if there were more ups than downs.
The thought makes you smile, your fingers lazily fiddling with one of the rings on your finger as you stare at the sea
The waves are quite aggressive, and the storm is getting stronger by the minute. Still, you want to remain a little longer–the sun is about to set, and maybe, just maybe, you'll see a shooting star and make a wish.
I want everything to turn out good, for both of us, youd wish. And if that means splitting up, so be it.
Jungkook and you both need to find happiness.
People, like the books you've read in your 21 years, aren't always meant to be.
The thought makes you shudder, why couldnt you have one good thing last in your life?
A nervous sigh escapes your lips as you detect a single small tear flowing down your cheek.
But you're quick to dry it up with some tissues youd packed in your bag at all times. Spotting your favourite vanilla scented hand cream, you also apply that one and take a wiff when you bring your hands close.
"That one smells like you, babe," Jungkook says softly beside you, handing you a what seems to be travel sized hand cream.
After taking a sniff, you sigh, "Vanilla?"
Jungkook simply hums against your neck in affirmation "sweet like my sugar" he teases
The piercing sound of thunder jolts you out of your reverie, and you take that as a sign and decide it's time to go back. The rain is getting heavier, and you don't want to be entirely soaked when you get home.
You hoped your mom had already gone to bed or was in the livingroom watching some of her shows when you arrived home, not wanting to deal with more questions.
You hum as you stand up from the rock under the tree where you were sitting and grab your yellow tote bag, letting it hand losely over your shoudler as you take the first few steps careful not to fall.
The sand scrunches up under your feet, and the slight wind of the storm makes you shiver
You take a different path than usual. You know the forest would be a muddy mess by now, so you choose a different route. As you stroll through the park nearby, rain patters on the leaves, creating a calming sound.
The distant roar of thunder adds urgency to your steps. You lips letting out a sigh when you still manage to spot a bit of dirt on your shoes.
Great, youd have to clean those up later.
Because your eyes are locked on the ground, you don't even notice a few people passing by. You don't want to engage in any more talks today.
Not wanting to ruin anyones mood with your own. You werent mad, nor sad, maybe it was a mix of all emotions at once. Anyway, you didnt wanna make anyone feel the way you felt right now.
Lost
Confused
Relieved?
When you trip over a rock that must have tumbled into the path, the odds don't appear to be in your favour. Your eyes instinctively close as you prepare for impact, gasping and anxiously groping for anything to stop a fall.
But the fall never occurs. Instead, two arms reach out and grab you before you hit the ground. A wave of relief washes over you.
Just what you needed right now. You mentally roll your eyes.
"Y/n?" A strangely familiar voice calls out to you, a hand softly smoothing over your now messy, damp hair as he gets a closer look at you.
Jimin.
Park Jimin is standing right in front of you, unexpectedly saving you from what you thought would be a day long headache.
Talk about wanting to be alone, but Jimin hasn't done anything to irritate you, so you force a smile on your lips–one Jimin knows is nonsense.
"Shit, what's wrong?" As he examines your face for scars or unfamiliarities, his voice becomes more concerned. When he doesn't find any, only smudged lip gloss and unclean mascara, he exhales a sigh of relief, his concern still written all over his features.
His, now too, damp hair is a few shades darker than his usual blonde, messy like yours, and his brows furrowed deeply
For a little minute, you remain silent, feeling burdened by the weight of what you should say. Lie? Tell him the complete truth and prepare for a long peptalk? The latter does not appeal to sound good, so you opt for a half lie. "Just a bad day," you sigh, hoping to minimise the situation. "Happens," you explain.
Jimin simply nods, removing his jacket and draping it over your head. It's a thoughtful gesture, and you appreciate it, but it feels wrong–too close.
You remind yourself that, last time you checked, you still had a boyfriend and you'd believe it unless Jungkook said otherwise.
Jungkook.
You needed to talk with him.
"Shit, be careful," Jimin says again as you slip on the damp ground, still reeling from the fall, or, almost fall from earlier
"Sorry," you mumble beneath your breath, a giggle leaving your lips at your clumsiness.
"Where are you going?" He asks, wanting this to feel less awkward. You feel bad, it was you who was making this weird in the first place.
Careful not to overwhelm you, he places his hand against your shoulder as he leads you across the street. "Home," you answer quietly, "I was at the beach," you add, your mind racing again, adrenaline rushing after your almost-fall.
"In this weather?" Jimin cries out, his bag of shopping–which you hadn't noticed until now–almost falling down.
"Careful," you chuckle, eventually looking up at him as you both pick up some tangerines that fell.
However, the euphoria is short lived as another, stronger thunder strike reverberates, this time sounding closer and the rain intensifying tenfold.
Darn it.
Looking about close to tears–because, for the love of God, you despise thunder–you see you're not even close to home. Instead, you're on a street that looks all too familiar.
Of for f-
Shit
-
In the early morning hours, the gym walls pulse with rapid beats of music. Motivation for those who need it.
People rushing in for an exercise, whether for a pre work session or simply because they're insanely over motivated.
Jungkook walks through the crowd, head held high, boxing gloves swinging from one hand, gym bag nonchalantly thrown over the other.
Walking inside the changing room, giving no flying fucks if someone greets him or attempts small talk along the way, he places his black designer workout bag in its official spot in front of the lockers.
Well
It's an unofficial rule–Jeon Jungkook's spot isn't officially marked with a name tag all shiny and golden, but everyone in the gym knows not to occupy it.
Crossing paths with Jungkook, especially if you want to be on his good side, is nearly impossible. He didnt talk to people that didnt benefit him. He's not arrogant about his celebrity status in boxing–he recognises it but dislikes broadening his social circle.
Jungkook appreciates his inner circle, and–some might say–you've earned a spot in it.
He shakes his head–hed earned one in yours.
As he thinks about you, a curse escapes his lips, realising that today requires him to do an outstanding performance to repair the damage done by being the shittiest boyfriend ever.
He cringes at the memory of himself walking out your room, to his harley, and leaving you standing there. Alone.
Feeling the weight of the day's stress, he runs his fingers through his hair. The gym is his saviour right now–so, he can vent his frustrations in the ring.
He almost feels bad for those unfortunate souls who were planned to train with him today–Namjoon won't arrive until later, and Coach Chan is out of town, leaving Jungkook with a solo session to release his pent up energy with somekne other than them
But for now, he'd ease into his regimen by doing a warm up by himself. Striding out of the changing room, grabbing his water bottle and shrugging off the stares of others in the room, he takes a nice spot near one of the punching bags, his hands already wrapped tightly–because, God forbid, you see his bruised up hands today, that would definitely result in a full fledged fit on your side.
Nonetheless, your scolding was preferable than having you being mad at him for any longer.
A slight smile appears on his face. In the middle of the thoights that linger in the back of his mind, the idea of you forgiving him becomes a motivator, a light of hope.
-
"You know he has a girlfriend right?"
Lisa's voice breaks through the gym's loud music–the usual suspects gathered around the ring, each in their own world–some hooked to their phones, others engrossed in watching people fight, and a few simply hanging out.
"Shark's" was the gym in Seoul, the big shot where everyone hung out. It had everything–a spa, an entire floor dedicated to showers, every training gadget imaginable, and, of course, the boxing rings.
That section was only for members like Jungkook though, professionals.
But then how could Wendy, Irene, and their gang get in here every day to keep an eye on the boys? Easy. Money
Wendy scoffs at Lisa's remark, locking eyes with Irene and exchanging a giggle that echoes throughout the gym.
Ew. Why were they here again?
"How long, though? I heard they haven't talked in days," Wendy giggles, ignoring the significance of the relationship even further, looking lisa up and down as if she was anything less than them.
Lisa rolls her eyes and shifts her sight to Jihyo, who is deep in conversation with one of Irene's friends. She wouldn't be here if it weren't for Jihyo–Wendy and her strange circle were the polar opposite of Lisa's interests.
Lisa watched the most of the matches religiously, having grown up in this gym due to her dad owning it.
She grew up on sports, boxing, and just the people around here in general
While her mom worked in teaching, her dad took care of this gym. Lisa had always been a daddys girl.
Wendy and her girls, on the other hand, only had a single goal, and their aim at this time was none other than Jungkook.
Well
Wendy has been after Jungkook for years now, which causes Lisa to roll her eyes again. The amount of times Jungkook has rejected this girl is more than one could count with their hands.
It was pathetic, really.
It must be exhausting for him. While some felt that this kind of attention bolstered their ego, others, like Jungkook, despised it, especially since he now had a girlfriend.
You
"Who said that?" Lisa responds, scanning the area for Jungkook, who is warming up at the punching bags.
He's been quiet recently, so maybe Wendy wasn't just talking shit for once–maybe something happened between you two.
She never got to meet you because of Jungkook's overprotectiveness and his tight rule against allowing you to come to the gym–something about "oh its too dangerous, too this too that yada yada"
She rolls her eyes again, her gaze returning to Wendy, Irene, and the other girls.
"People talk," Irene responds, both of them giggling as they see Jungkook's drenched form from afar. Lisa simply hums in response and grabs Jihyo's hand when she returns, abandoning the group and going over to him.
Enough gossiping for the day, the last thing Lisa wanted is for them to start pondering her about the guys again.
Lisa was a girls girl through and through...just not for these snakes.
"Sup, Kook," Jihyo js the first to speak up when they reach the ring, first bumping him after Lisa, earning a hum and nod from his part.
Damn
Jungkook ever the talkative
They've been friends since Jungkook began attending this gym. While Jungkook had a crush on her for...probably.even less than a day, Lisa quickly put him back in his lane when he discovered she doesn't swing that way. They've kept a strong friendship since then.
"Yo," Jungkook exhales, still a little winded from his warm-up, also greeting some other guys who enter the area.
His hair is damper than before and Lisa rolls her eyes when he takes his shirt off and throws it beside her, groaning she flicks him off.
"How much you think they'd pay for this one?" Lisa chuckles, indicating towards Wendy and her crew, who are ogling Jungkook's wet shirt.
Jihyo simply smacks her on the arm, mumbling, "Probably thousands."
"Shit, that's fucking nasty," Jungkook shakes his head, casually tucking his shirt into the bag he carried with him.
Their talk is interrupted by a few guys who start talking to Jungkook, and when they leave, lisa speaks up again
"Hey, just so you know," leaning against the wall and popping a gum in her mouth, lisa starts "the snakes are talking about you again, saying you and Y/n broke up or something."
Jungkook's face drops for a split second before groaning. "We're okay," he assures her. "I'm not planning on breaking up with her anytime soon."
He shakes his head, wiping sweat from his brow with a towel before nodding to one of the newcomers. "My turn," he says, motioning towards the ring before approaching it.
"Yeah, talk to you later, loser," Lisa jokes, rolling her eyes at him before sitting down at the benches close by with Jihyo, starting to set bets on whod win.
The answer is Jungkook.
It was always Jungkook
-
The rain is pouring so hard that you can feel every drop at this point, it hurt, your vission blurry as you can prpobably only see the first few meters in front of you before everything goes foggy. It doesnt help that its nighttime by now, providing even less light.
What exactly did you do in your past life to deserve this treatment.
A frown forms on your face. You never frowned. Not for no reason anyway.
But your day was going to bad, the drive with your mom, the the talk with her and then those intrusive thoughs about Jungkook. And you loved thinking about Jungkook.
Just...not right now. It hurt. It hurt thinking about him.
Another drop of water lands on your nose, and you flinch, wiping it away.
"Damn," Jimin mutters, scanning the area for cover as the storm grows. There are trees everywhere, just fucking trees, as if nature is making fun of you. You were in the middle of the city for heavens sake, how did you end up in the only area with no buildings?
This really felt like a joke. A bad freaking joke.
You also felt bad for Jimin who wouldve been at home by now if you hadnt bumped into him not even 15 minutes ago.
You were just bad luck if it was a person. Ruining everyones day.
But Jimin and you keep walking, looking for a convenience store or whatever, just something to hide you from the rain and warm you up. Because of course it was cold as shit too.
And your feet were wet. And so was your hair, and face. And you wanted to yell out. But you couldnt. And you wouldnt. Because thats not how your mom raised you.
"Sit still look pretty"
Darn it.
"There," Jimin says, pointing to a large structure with neon lights flashing. Of course, it's familiar.
You havent been here yet but darn it if thats not the exact building youve seen in the background of Jungkooks fotos several times.
"Whats that building" your head rests on his shoulder as you look down at his phone, in awe at the pretty neon lights that read 'Shark's'.
A smile forms on Jungkooks lips, piercing standing out even more now as he answers "my gym"
The white and grey walls, flashing lights from inside, and big windows letting you poeple watch.
Just great.
No really, lovely
You're almost wet, water dripping from your skin as if you'd just jumped into the sea–which you didn't, but Mother Nature didn't care.
You swallow hard as Jimin motions to the large building again.
There in bold neon lights the Sharks logo beamed in all its glory like it wasnt about to be your downfall.
Sharks, Jungkook's gym.
Because, obviously, there's nowhere else to go to escape the storm but your boyfriend's gym. Today couldnt get any better. Note the sarcasm
"Great," you mutter, "no really" you sigh again following your friend inside, because yes, this was about to be so awkward if Jungkook saw you like this, but also, you were so freaking cold that youd do anything for a warm blanket or even a shower.
It turns out that staying here wasn't just your idea–a swarm of others rushed in behind you, and many were already inside.
You're torn.
This is not how you planned to face Jungkook after so many days. So much and so little has happened since your last talk, and you're convinced that if he sees you like this, he'll just laigh and turn away. But then again, Jungkook wasnt like that.
Your mind, on the other hand, doesn't seem to grasp that message. It liked playing with you by painting worst case scenarios. Always.
"Doing alright? Look, they're handing out towels." Jimin, ever the gentleman, leads you to the lobby, where he grabs two warm towels for both of you to dry off.
You take your time, burying your face in it in case Jungkook happens to pass by. You're pretty sure he'd notice you from a mile away. Because you most certainly would
His dark hair. Sometimes long sometimes short. His many piercings. His broad shoulders and breathy laugh. Everything about jungkook stood out like a sore thumb. In the best way possible
"Im okay" you speak up after a while, answering the question Jimin asked way too long ago. You give him a small smile and its then that Jimin knew–youre definitely not.
-
"Hey, what's happening out there?" Lisa squints as she looks out the window on the fifth floor.
Rain was falling like a waterfall, and thunder was terrifying the fuck out of her girlfriend, who clings to her with her eyes screwed shut.
Not just her, though, most of the people inside this gym looked confused and terrified. It's been a long time since the weathers been this bad, and besides, it happened so fast.
"Shit," Lisa mutters, her phone flashing with a single notice amidst her messages–Hurricane.
-
"A fucking hurricane?" Jungkook mumbles, his gaze fixed on Lisa's phone. Shed rushed up to him immediately after to show him how severe the weather was outside–not like Jungkook had two proper working eyes that couldve figured that out if he just looked outside for a second
You hated thunder
It's much later now, and Jungkook has finally taken a break after hours of training, only to be confronted with this news.
A fucking hurricane, another thing stopping him from seing ypu and he might as well just break anything in sight. His chest heaving from anger and frustration and sadness and relief? That he didnt have to face the embarrassing truth just yet.
For fucks sake he might as well never talk to you if he continues this way, making excuses not to see you, not to talk tk you, not to make things right...like he should be doing.
"We can't go out right now," Jihyo says next to Lisa, "the news says it's best if we stay in."
Fuck the news. Is what he wants to say, but honestly the weather outside was not optimal to drive his harley in right now.
Youd hate for him to drive in the weather.
And there you were agian, occupying his mind. Your face, smiley as ever, your giggles ringing in his ears, your-
"Jungkook" lisa speaks up, trying to catch his attention by snapping her fingers in front of his face
But Jungkook no longer listens to her, his thoughts on you. Shit. Are you already at home? Or are you still driving back from husan? In that instance, what if you got in an accident and the last thing you remembered him for was being a jerk? No. He couldn't allow that to happen.
Hed go insane. Hed actually fucking go insane.
"She'll be fine," Lisa says, as if she could read his mind. Before taking Jihyo away from the window and the terrifying scene of the hurricane outside, her hand momentarily brushes his shoulder, as if to console him.
Goddamn it, today of all days. He couldn't even leave the gym, so how was he meant to go talk to you now?
It was now dark, and he should've been at your house a long time ago. Screw that.
How much longer can he prolong the talk until it was too late?
Until hed lose you.
When a drop of sweat falls on his nose, he wipes it away without hesitation. He needed a shower, which he usually took at home because, no offence to Lisa and her father, gym showers were disgusting. Period.
But sweat was flowing down his upper torso, which was still completely visible to everyone around–not that he was the only one, but he was the only one that mattered. It should come as no surprise that Jungkook was in great shape, even more so after you stopped talking. He'd been working out and eating like a maniac since nothing could fulfil his craving for you. Jesus. Calm down.
He lets out a sigh.
Calm the fuck down. He thinks to himself when his chest starts heaving again.
Wendy giggles as she walks by him. He scoffs, finding it disgusting.
He throws his bag over his shoulder and walks to the showers without looking at her. His feet make contact with the icy tiles, sending shivers down his spine. It's fucking cold.
Fuck.
But he still needs a cold shower. A way to punish himself because he broke you. That is, at least, how he sees it. You're broken. Nothing can change what he's done.
He once again beats himself up for what he ddi, and with good reason.
This wanst some kind of movie. You werent gonna come running into his arms–not that you had to.
You werent gonna accept his apology–not that you had to.
You just werent gonna be his again–not that...you had to.
But you had to.
In his head, you had to because if not Jungkook wouldn't be able to live with himself again. And he was being selfish because who wouldn't if they were convinced they lost the love of their life.
As he walks out of the shower, the water stops, his gaze darting to other guys in the room but he walks right past them. There is no time for small talk. He ruffles his hair as he dries it, then pulls a random shirt from his locker and puts it on, then a hoodie on top and loose dark pants. It's strange.
He pauses midway on his wya out, staring at his locker and then down his frame.
He usually kept one specific hoodie in his locker, just for the gym because it wasbt his favourite and he didnt mind getting it dirty. Then he recalls coming to your house after the gym one night. He most likely left it there.
He bites his lip, playing with his piercing as he zones out for a second remembering that night. Your giggles, his complaints about totally not wanting to get his hair braided. But eventially giving in.
Then taking that hoodie off when he got to hot by the way you were making out on your bed.
Then your mom knocked on the door. Asking why you were giggling so much, and you scold Jungkook. And he pinches your side.
A smirk forms on his lips.
And then you decide to keep his hoodie as a punishment.
Did you already get rid of his things?
As he walks out of the changing rooms and out to the ring, he is startled by the sound of thunder. He looks around and out the window–the weather had calmed down a little.
Instead of the pouring rain not even 20 minutes ago, it was a lot softer now–not quite gone yet–but enough to drive home.
Definitely enough.
Hes unsurprised to watch a large crowd of people waiting for the rain to stop when he steps down the last stair of the second floor. Each person immersed in their own world, whether it's talking with friends or lazily scrolling through their phones.
Staff was handing out towels and water, some poeple were even heating up some food in the cafeteria close by. And jungkook just knows he had to get out. Not wanting to deal with a big crowd of people today, even if they werent here for him, it made him uncomfortable. So step by step, he walks towards the big entrance, already reaching for the pack of cigarettes inside his pants when he stops in his tracks.
His ears start ringing, everything except one sound going numb in his ears.
Your laugh
-
"Sit here. I'll go over there and get us some hot tea." Jimin gestures to the cafeteria, which is already packed with people eager to grab something hot to eat or drink.
You werent thirsty, but anything that would warm up your body and dry throat sounded like heaven right now.
Your modest nod indicates that you're fine with it and appreciate the gesture. You don't stop him when he walks away, even if he was hoping you would. And he watches you sit at a little area on one of the couches, barely visible in the midst of the mob.
One would have to look for it specifically, to make out your form. Your face is more hollow than it was when you came in here. Did something happen in here that made you feel uneasy? Was there anything that bothered you while he was here that he didn't notice?
When he bumps against a 6-foot-something guy on his way, hes yanked out of his thoughts as he apologises. The thought entirely vanishing from his thoughts. Perhaps for good.
Another loud sound of thunder makes you jump, apologising as you slightly hit the woman beside you, your head resting back into your palm as you close your eyes and sigh, feeling like you could finally breathe that day.
It stinks in here, maybe using a gym as a place for shelter wasnt a good idea, but also, you shouldnt be complaining. This was better than staying out there in the rain and getting sick.
Youd never hear the end of it from your mom.
Talking about her, shed definitely scold you for coming home later than planned. Great, another issue you had to deal with. Because of course youd nothing better to do.
Jimin reappears as quickly as he left, holding two steaming cups of tea in his hand, which you gratefully accept with a little "thank you."
As you take a sip, you're surprised he chose your favourite, green tea. You sigh as it hits your chilly, dry throat, unknowingly showing your appreciation, making Jimin grin as he teasingly pats himself on the shoulder.
"I'm such a good friend," he jokingly says. "Always thinking about your well being," he adds, and you smirk because, yeah, he was right.
He was a good friend. He didn't have to be here with you right now–he could be at home, all cosy, but he decided to take you home before the weather decided otherwise. Your lips quiver at his mocking, and you slap his arm playfully.
"You're so funny," you ironically say letting out another giggle
And for the tiniest second. You feel the way you felt a couple days ago–careless. There was absolutely nothing on your mind, no anxiety, no worries, what would happen next. But then again–just for a couple of seconds.
Because the moment you look up, that beautiful smile of yours, real and able to make anyones day better just by looking at it, fades.
What.
The.
Frick.
-
Jungkook could find you in any room, blindfolded, with noise cancelling headphones blasting music. He was so in love with you that it seemed like he always knew if you were alright or not.
Jungkook had known you weren't fine for days. He wasn't feeling well either, but fuck him, and damn his gigantic ego, and damn his big head for making him overthink that night.
Jungkook could spot you from miles away. If you were a grain of sand, he'd search across all the world's beaches. It sounds ridiculous, given that all he accomplished in the previous days was the opposite. He wanted to blame it on you being at your competition, but he couldn't because he'd never not look for you. Hed never lose you.
Well, maybe be did.
But not physically, because youre in front of him, well, just a couple meters away, sitting there. Fuck, youre giggling, and its not his imagination, youre actually in front of him. Soaking wet.
Wait- soaking wet?!
Fuck. The hurricane.
Jungkook doesn't waste any time in closing the gap between you two, his steps and presence forcing you look up, and he watches as your breath becomes laboured. You look at each other for one, then two, then three, four, and five seconds before standing up. You get to your feet and meet him halfway.
His palm reaches for your red and frigid cheek. Has no one handed you one of the stupid blankets that are being handed out here? Fuck
Unless you've just arrived, in which case your hair is soaked, as are your clothes—your trousers and shoes. Those were your favourites, as well as your hoodie. His. The one he left behind
And yet. Yet you looked fucking beautiful, breath taking. Your hand meets his, running over it, probably enjoying the warmth and comfort.
This is not how he expected to see you again–he thought youd avoid him forever, denying him the opportunity to apologise.
"Kook," you manage to say, your voice gentle and lovely, so... you. Jungkook nods, understanding all you meant by merely speaking out his name, and shakes his head among all these people who dont even care about you two.
"I know," he admits, sighing. "I-damn, I know," he groans, pressing his palm against your cheek, softly, not wanting to let you go, his other hand reaching out to bring your waist closer. You're freezing and drenched all over
He cant take care of you.
"Lets get out of here" he whispers, and he feels selfish because he doesnt have a right to tell you what to do. All you do is stare at him, and then at Jimin who he just now notices. Oh for fucks sake.
His harsh gaze meets Jimin's, who is holding two cups awkwardly in his hand. They exchange blank stares for a few seconds until you pull Jungkook's fingers away from your cheek. "I can't," you say quietly. You can't, of course.
Jungkook simply nods because what else can he do? He'd lost you. He'd lost you and at what cost?
Your gaze returns to him as he holds up your jacket, the rain having ceased and people walking out one by one. Soon, it was only you and a handful others in the lobby. Jungkook's hand is still on your hip because why not?
But he shouldn't, so he attempts to get rid of it but physically cant. His body will not allow it. So you stand there, his dry self holding you tight as your gaze darts between him and Jimin, perplexed, pondering what to do, where to go.
Okay. You think to yourself. Jungkook looks regretful. You almost feel sorry for him.
Who are you kidding?. You'd give anything right now to be back in his arms because hed just proven that silly voice in your head wrong once and for all. He still cared
"Y/n," Jimin says softly, offering your jacket towards you, and you take it, lowering it on the floor, your hand lazily barely holding on to it as he continues to speak, all while Jungkook's stern glare is fixed on him. "Sorry to interrupt," he indicates with his hands at you two, "but my cousins are waiting for me at home for the groceries," he holds his bag up, and You nod so quickly that you become dizzy.
"Oh my god," you exclaim, "I'm so sorry I didn't-" he cuts you off,
"it's fine, you're in good hands," he glances towards Jungkook, "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" All you have to do is nod.
As you stand in the lobby, your eyes follow Jimin as he walks away, your ears beginning to ring in uncertainty.
So, what's next? Do you talk? Do you walk away because you're angry? Because you were both thrilled and irritated to see him. And sad and frustrated.
Jungkook's hand twitches at your waist, causing your sight to return to his, and he's already looking at you, as if waiting for something in your eyes to start his apology, since, of course, he had to be the one to apologise.
You didn't do anything wrong. In his opinion, you never did. You were flawless. He didn't deserve you. And he didn't deserve your love–on the other hand, you deserved his tenfold.
His tattooed hand reaches out for you again, this time stopping at your cheek and softly caressing it, and you almost melt into his touch, coming in closer.
"I'm so fucking sorry," he mumbles a second later, his voice heavy and deep, almost drowning you in it.
And you missed it. His touch, his voice, him.
But how quickly are you willing to forgive him? How much would you let him do to show hes sorry? You simply nod because you don't know what to say, do, or know how to act.
Theres another sound of thunder, this time gentler, and Jungkook grabs your trembling hand in his. You're freezing. Of course, you still were. So he removes his jacket and drapes it over your shoulders.
And you let him because what else could you do? You breathe in, then out, and then you take his hand, all bruised from fighting, and flinch a little. Then you look him in the eyes again and sigh.
"I-" your voice breaks and Jungkook nods erratically encouraging you to speak, but you dont. And you feel stupid because its not that hard. You wanna go home. Climb into bed and forget about today. But that also meant forgetting about seeing Jungkook.
Youre still mad at him. But the thought of having to deal with your mom at home makes you wanna run and hide in Jungkooks chest. Like you always did.
He was your safe place till he wasnt.
But you needed him right now. And maybe it was selfish, but you were willing to put anything aside now–just for some closure
Listen, Jungkook had all the patience in the world with you, but as he watched and watched your trembling state and hollow face, he needed to get you somewhere warmer, washed up, and under a blanket as soon as possible.
Because youre his girl still, until you told him you werent.
And even if you did, hed still give you the world becaus eits what you deserved.
The issue was that he came here on his Harley–it was only a 10 minute drive. And it was still sunny when he arrived this morning.
It was fine to drive you to his house just to wash up and then bring you home right? Youd done so thousands of times when you two were sweaty from staying at the beach for too long or when he picked you up from practice.
And fuck, right now, he sounded so selfish because he wouldn't even let you fight with him about it.
He was determined to take care of you because you didn't always know what was best for you, but he did.
Okay maybe he fucked up once, but the rest of the times he did know what was best for you. Because for him you were this everything, and Jungkook would do anything to protect you. Even if it was just from some stupid cold.
So he softly takes your hand in his and pulls you towards the exit, and when you don't object and just follow his lead, a slight smile tugs on his face. Because he had you again.
Even if it was only for tonight.
@gyukookswhore @lolololooololo @miss-u-koo @koostrawberry @dontcribuyabag @telepathytae @butterymin @sbroces @gukiebaby @babycandy111 @sieihebendh @lydinews @y2kcy3brz @whoa-jo @peterstarkchrishiddleston @jkslefteye @eyesforjungkook @tannies-luv @jksoftii @luvelyarmy @ancagab16 @petalsofink @nostopshit @crybaby29 @jjkluver7 @babybella337 @canyon-lwt @cherryblosom73 @carzjeon @marvelbun @kissyfacekoo @loveejkk @gabsrecs @rkivemaar @wifflepuff1344 @jeonjksworld@zera10 @melasangui @skittleswitmnms @ateezworshipper @iliketowrite-2 @juciu @ahgasegotarmy116 @ahgasegotarmy116 @taetaecatboy @jk97bam @btslove-143 @seokjinspinkslipper @jeonggukimagines @yunki-yunki-yunki @raineo @seoulrenebae-blog @imbackhere @qu13xy47aop12-blog @minnie-mouser22 @hoseoksluv89 @cornbell @shookysmissingtooth @ysk101 @imcamboaf @coralmusicblaze @looneybleus @gwsjungkookie @littlestarstinyseven @sizzlingfestpeach @minayas1998 @namelesskeid @satisfied18@skzthinker @reissun @saphstar @creepycr3per @bglaslhat @amylouisecullen @dodosparkleface @withluvjm @guuk97 @nomnom2001 @adoresjjk @lllllllllllllllllllllllllllll-1 @urlastrose @iceykoo @babyboo22 @kookiesnpie @blancflms @swagangelllamawolf
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naomiarai · 2 months
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bsf tyun coming over to your place, finals just ended and god, you could use some relaxing time with him. a little talking somehow leads to the topic of “if youve ever received head” now sex talk with taehyun wasn't weird, it just wasnt often and that aspect made it a little awkward. but when you let out a quick “no” at the said question; you think youve never seen taehyun so wide eyed. youve seriously never been eaten out? he asks with pure amusement. all you could let out was another pathetic “no”, this was embarrassing in a way, what if he thinks you're really inexperienced with this kind of shit even though you guys have been friends to the point to even talk about it?
is that weird or something..? you ask, anticipating his answer, no, god no thats not weird, i just couldn't fathom that nobody ever made you feel good like that he says in a rush. wow,, for it to be surprising, oral sex must be the base of even putting a dick inside a pussy you think. but now it intrigues you, how does it feel to have someone's tongue right on your cunt? its definitely strange to imagine but its a thought that comes to mind if youve got someone surprised and only ever had dick inside you.
b..but im curious, i wonder how it feels.., you mumble to yourself, but seeing taehyun turn his head towards you, he heard it too. he pauses for a moment before saying,, i can make that happen, if you want to that is, he says ever so simply like he just didn't ask he if he could eat you out. your heart drops, did you hear that right? did he just blatantly ask if he could possibly eat you out? oh my god. you feel so warm all of a sudden, something along your mind giving you the feeling of saying “yes”.
but what if it ruins your friendship? what if, you gain feelings for him after he gives you head and its never normal again?. over here...wouldn't the bed be more convenient..? you say before you could regret it. taehyun looks at you again, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a genuine grin, so im guessing that's a yes? hm? he asks with a tone of triumph. you look at him with doe eyes,, whispering uh..h yes..
and thats how found yourself here, naked legs spread open, and taehyun in-between them, a tight grip on your thighs to keep you from moving. anticipation fills you as be simply urges you to relax and he'd take care of the rest >< (how is taehyun so calm here idk) you slightly flinch at the feeling of his tongue flat against your hole, the cold feeling sending vibrations down ur spine. his fingers move in circles around ur inner thigh, as he sucks at your clit as he uses his other hand to flick at it. god, its seriously just making you wetter, it felt so fucking good.
a-...ah, dont stop- god you say letting out soft moans, you could feel taehyun smiling at your cunt, really happy huh? your thighs start shaking right as he slips his tongue inside your gaping hole, smoothly rubbing against your walls, edging you so close to your orgasm. i can feel ur close, come for me yeah? he says and its got your pussy throbbing, almost immediately cumming at the end of his sentence.
he looks at you with delight as your chest heaves up and down, recovering from your orgasm. you feel heavenly, gosh was he good ;3 he goes back to lick up the mess u made,,, youll have to do this again, with an excuse that you'd only done it once...
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kcrossvine-art · 11 months
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hi friends! :D y'all voted and fought neck and neck for this SO- heres the first entry into our little cooking journey of J. R. R. Tolkeins fictional food for his fictional little guys he puts in fictional turmoils for our enjoyment and awe!
 Before we get started i wanna say i owe my heart to all the LotR fans who upkeep the wiki, debate the cannon, and create their own versions of the foods mentioned. Both because of my love for people who LOVE (passionate people)(passion about anything) and because my own knowledge of this series is a little dusty. I've never seen the movies but I did read the books growing up. I'll be learning and remembering things from a fairly newbie standpoint, so no worries if you yourself arent familiar with the series! (and if you are familiar, hopefully youll forgive me!)
We will be making Lembas ('waybread') today! If you've made your own version of this please feel free to share it, similarly if you have any ideas for what we make next!
(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)
MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS
SO, “what goes in to Lembas?” YOU MIGHT ASKWell so the funny thing is we kinda dont know. At least not entirely? The elves are dicks like that. But heres what we'll be using in ours-
Butter
Self-rising flour
Granulated Sugar
Raisins
A small dried fruit of your choosing
Almonds OR Pecans
EGG
Whole Milk
Heavy Cream
And if you would like for dipping-
Blackberry jam
To the extent i understand this is kinda like hardtack from the bri'ish military, but a fantastical version of it that actually tastes really good. Hardtack was a military provision with the texture of a brick that took a long time to spoil and could be easily carried with soldiers. So the texture we're going for is super dense, packed full with nuts and fruits (haha just lik-), but perhaps not that dense. We want something closer to a dog biscuit than actual tack.
I remembered something about corn being mentioned, thankfully the wiki clarified that no actually the british just referred to any grain as corn back in the day. Thank Fuck! Although I would like to try a version of this using masa in the future.
AND, “what does Lembas taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK
Took a few tries but eventually got it perfectly chewy and dense
The raisins cook-in like little beads of flavortown sweetness
Cant speak for other fruits but for dried apple it softened up nicely, kinda matching the raisins in the end
Im a big pecan slut, pecans fuck on anything especially here. Crumble them on top after you coat the dough with the egg-mixture for some visual appeal
Somewhat flakey outside
The jam was my idea, it was nice but might be too sweet for some tastes
Would pair very well with a kiwi flavored drink
Or mead
I can see why this would a travelling provision. Its both sugary (a good thing when expending energy) and filling (also a good thing when youre travelling) while not being overwhelming with flavor (if youre prone to motion sickness. Horse sickness? Do get motion sickness on horses?)
Its like how if you're going hiking you want a good mix of sugars and salts, to balance your intake of water.
. If you wanna make it like the illustrations or the movie, use a cookie cutter for either triangles or squares . If you don't have a cookie cutter, an apple cutter also works ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . try to keep the board you'll roll the dough out onto chilled before you use it, it seems better for the texture of the food though i dont entirely know why
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So from beginning to end, it took about an hour and half for the first attempt. Down to about 40 minutes for the second attempt. These are a real simple recipe because its not like a croissant where the margin for error is nonexistent. Middle-earth be damned my boy can work a grill.
I'd recommend storing in a tubberware container, but if you're deadset on using leaves please rinse and dry them first, and wrap the bread in either wax paper or saran wrap underneath. We dont have mallorn leaves in real life (as far as we know) but most salad greens should work, or as Marie Porter says (linked in the reblogs!) a banana leaf.
I really enjoyed the process of making this recipe, itd be really easy to batch-bake these en masse, and the process of eating said recipe. Like all jokes aside, i think this would be a great substitute for trailmix. Its not going to get smushed and even if it breaks a bit it wont affect the taste. It wont keep you fed for a whole day but pair it with some pickles or a salty snack and yeah itll keep your motor running.
I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Let me know if you think I got something wrong, or if you ran into issues with the recipe. We're off to a strong start, lads!
🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁
Ingredients:
6 TBSP butter, chilled
2 cups self-rising flour
1 TBSP granulated sugar
½ cup raisins
½ other dried fruit (strawberry slices, oranges, etc.), chopped
Handful of almonds or pecans, chopped
1 egg, well beaten
½ cup whole milk
4 TBSP heavy cream
Method:
Preheat your oven to 400 f.
Cut the butter into slivers/small pieces. With your hands, combine the butter into the flour in a mixing bowl until the mixture resembles coarse sand.
Chop your dried nuts and dried fruit until it feels right.
Mix in the sugar, raisins, nut, and dried fruit of your choosing
In a seperate bowl, beat the egg until combined, and then mix in the milk until combined. Keep a bit of this mixture to brush the tops of the bread.
Stir while adding the egg/milk mixture and the heavy cream into the flour. Mix just until combined into a soft dough.
Knead the dough until firm on a floured surface.
Roll into a half inch thickness and cut with a square or leaf shaped cookie cutter. (...or in my case, an apple corer).
Place on a lightly greased baking sheet, with about an inch of space between each piece. Brush the tops of the lembas with some of the mixture you saved earlier.
Bake for about 15-20 minutes, or until it turns a soft gold and the inside is chewy.
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enmayz · 3 months
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OKAY ONE MORE UMM
Imagine OFFICE SEX WITH CEO JAY 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 HE TIE U UP WITH HIS NECK TIE FKENFNENF I'M DEAD COMPLETELY
🐈🫧
★ ! 18+ · mdni !
tw: reader uses her body to get a brand deal (?) but honestly she always had a crush on him and jay just wanted to fuck her soooo its not really related to the brand deal but yeah lol
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"you were the one that suggested this, at least do it right," jay grunted as your teeth scraped against his cock for the 3rd time now. releasing his cock from your mouth, you inhaled sharply, head a daze from the lack of oxygen. "well, im sorry, mr. ceo, because i totally do this all the time," you sarcastically rolled your eyes as you tried to put his cock back in your mouth. "talk like that again ms. yn and youre never getting that brand deal," jay gritted his teeth before pulling you up from the floor, "bend over the desk," "w-what?" "i said bend over the fucking desk."
"does your dad know his precious daughter is getting fucked by the ceo of his opposing company hm? wonder what he'll do if he found out," jay smirked as your shoulders tense up. "shut the fuck up park and just get this over with." you yelped as you felt his hand strike your ass, skin stinging once the impact landed. "if 'getting this over with' was what you were expecting, sorry to disappoint. im gonna fuck you over and over again on this desk as much as i want. is that understood?" without waiting for a response, jay pulled at his tie, taking it off before wrapping them around your wrists behind your back. the sight of your once neatly ironed dress all wrinkled and your hands tied behind your back with his tie while you were bending over his office desk had jay's cock twitching wildly. ripping your dress and tugging down your panties, jay immediately coated his cock in your wet thorbbing cunt. "fuck, park! that dress was $4000-" you choked on your own words as you felt his fat cock slip past your entrance, sliding into your wet cunt. "ill buy you another one, shit, you feel so good."
jay tugged on your tied hands as he railed you from behind. the action causing your shoulders to lift but your head to fall limply as you lost control of your movements when jay violently pounded his cock into you. your legs gave out, making it a struggle for you to stand if it werent for jay's atrong arms holding you up, one hand gripping tightly on your hip. sounds of skin slapping against each other echoed through the room along with your whimpers and jay's groans. "shouldve fucked this tight pussy long ago, shouldve claimed you long ago," jay grunted as he drive his hip into you, feeling your wet cunt squeezing around him, feeling as your arousal coated his cock.
"who does this pussy belong to hm?" jay asked as his cock hit a spot that had your stomach lurching and legs quivering. "fucking answer me. who does this pussy belong to?" jay asked again, holding you still as he slammed his cock into your pussy. "y-yours! sir, yours, belongs to you," tears streamed down your face as you bit onto your lips, drawing blood. "that's right, this tight little pussy belongs to me, you fucking belong to me," jay's hands dug into your hips, in which you let out a yelp. the violent thursts from jay caused you to lose balance, falling onto his desk that was filled with files and papers. "see that packet right there?" jay pointed as he stopped his movements, to which you responded with a whine. "so fucked dumb you dont even care about the deal anymore?" jay taunted as he slowly fucked into you. "if you can sign it neatly, then ill work with you guys," jay smirked before continuing the pace he was at before. cock roughly slamming back into your pussy, the burn made you roll your eyes back but you tried to gain your composure as you reached for the pens, hands shaking as your brought it to the paper. "there you are, if you cant do it this time, guess youll have to come see me a couple more times."
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c3berus · 3 months
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it wasn’t real. he never really cared for you. god, did it hurt to hear but it was the truth. your ‘boyfriend’ had been using you for months, you didn’t want to believe it. but one look into his ice dulled eyes and you knew he was serious. he had told you what his purpose was in your life, his ultimate goal. he was assigned to bait you in, catch you on a hook and reel you out. and that he did..
“your eyes..they can be so cruel” you croaked out, words sounding like they cut your tounge on the way out your mouth. you shook your head in silent denial. “so this was your plan the entire time ‘ey? infiltrate from the inside? a classic.”
“Its just business, thought you’d understand” he shrugged carelessly. you scoffed, betrayal settling deep within you.
you nodded, a bitter smile overtaking your face, a pained one. you hated to admit it but, you loved him. you are in love with him, but one of you weren’t going to walk away tonight, you knew it.
your thoughts were finalized with the sound of his gun being set on you. your eyes met his once again surprisingly, he had collected a few tears. “‘M sorry, i really, really am b-“
“i gave you everything i had..” you interrupted him, anger starting to seep through you. in one quick breath, you had your gun planted dead between his eyes. easy kill. “should’ve known it was to good to be tru- no, i shouldve acted on my suspicions sooner” confusion and shock painted johnny’s face. your pained smile became one of ease.
“what?..” he whispered.
“I figured your plan a good few months back, had some necks stepped on, some information spilled and soon i knew exactly who you were, well- work for” you spoke nodding your head to his not-very-well-hidden tags. he fixed his holding on his gun, finger resting on the trigger.
“you knew, and you still did nothing to prevent this? w-why..” ‘soap’ asked.
“because this was inevitable, either way, we’d be here” you laughed, gesturing around you two. Johnny grew tense.
“you’ve been lying to me for months” he barked at you. you wanted to croak out the loudest laugh you could manage. you have been lying? god, he’s pathetic.
“no…you dont get to feel betrayed, wasnt that your plan anyway? your pathetic, really” you muttered to him. seemingly growing sick of his own anger, he tightened his hold of his gun.
“you have to die, i have to kill you” he glared, tears brimming his waterline. you exhaled shakily, thinking about what you wanted to say next.
“do as you wish, but i know the truth about you johnny. the truth that you wont ever go and report to your forcemates” you spoke, putting your gun down and leaving yourself vulnerable.
“you know nothing, shut up”
but you do..
“but i do, i know that you couldve killed me way before all of this. i know that no matter how much you deny it, you are and will forever be in love with me. there some things you just cant deny even to yourself johnny.” he slowly started to shake his head no, trying to block your words out for his heart.
“shut up” he muttered.
“i know that once you finish the job youll go back to them— shut. up. — and youll pretend that your heart isnt heavy, that you — stop talking. —felt nothing, that this was just another day in the workplace” you laughed bitterly ignoring his words. “and i know, that your feelings were real at a point, because if i know anything about you johnny, its that you’re a lot of things, but an emotionless man?..you’re not that.”
“SHUT UP, STOP TALKING, IM GOING TO KILL YOU” he wailed, panicking, taking multiple steps towards you until his gun rested right in between your eyebrows.
“there it is.. you’re realizing that im right arent you, that at least one of us can be truthful? right?” you were gambling with a life you’d already been set to lose. time to take the final dice roll. “say it, say you never loved me..that everything you’ve ever told me was scripted”
silence..
“say it”
“i-“
BANG!
a gun sounded off, but it wasn’t johnny’s at all..blood shot out your mouth, coating johnny’s face. before he could fully comprehend what happened, a voice cut through his ringing ears.
“target kia” ghost spoke into his comms approaching him as your body fell. “lets go, the jobs done, good work keeping him distracted” ghost finished patting his shoulder before walking off.
as ghost rounded the corner, into another room johnny supposed, two tears fell. one not belonging to the same person. blinking away the tears that threatened to break him, soap hurriedly ripped your dog tags off. he quickly pulled them onto him self, before taking one last look at you, heart shattering.
a tear, a tear had treailed down your face. upon further inspection, he looked down at your discarded gun, it had been emptied. he realized two things, that you were never going to kill him at all, and that you were in fact right.
johnny’s heart was heavy. johnny felt everything. and today wasn’t a regular day in the workplace, he had lost the love of his life. and he would never forgive himself for it. finally managing to drag him self out of the room, away from you, he felt as if the whole world had gone silent. from that day on, johnny swore to keep living, not because of you, but for you..
because the truth was..
johnny wasn’t an emotionless man, but man who wanted another so desperately that he swore to himself that they would meet in another lifetime.
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THEEEEEE END, did we like the angst? anyone want and alternative ending? - s.
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randomoutsiders · 4 months
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dark!rafe x bimbo!reader who tries to fix something or hang a picture frame and ends up smashing her finger and calling him and he (ofc) rushes to her side immediately and makes sure she never has to touch a hammer again!! or something along these lines i know youll make it something wonderful <33
rafe was already wary when she came trailing out of the storage closet with a step-stool slung under one arm, and a picture frame under the other - socks snug around her feet and providing zero grip for the activity she was about to pursue. he bit his tongue though, or rather his thumbnail, when she balanced the frame against the wall, tilting the right corner up and down to find the right alignment against the lighter shade of cornflower blue.
his brows are set as if super glue had been smeared between that line between them until she finally grabs the level off a nearby surface, balancing it atop of the black frame and getting a better angle. "you alright? you need my help?" he finally breaks when she balances atop unstable toes, marking a spot into the delicate blue for the nail to drive in.
her denial only causes him to sink further into the couch, fingers twining around the crocheted blanket she was once so insistent on making, finding a hole and wriggling his finger into it. "you ever done this before?"
there it comes, again, the shake of her head and the huff from perturbed lips, when she places the picture on the counter and grabs the nail right beside it. "it can't be too hard, can it?"
he hums an indignant response, licking over his teeth when she centers the spike of metal against the penciled mark and lines the flat end of the hammer along the center circle. he says nothing when she draws back, albeit just a few inches, and drives the tool in home. however, home includes the pinched forefinger and thumb, and the second the blunt instrument thuds against the digits, she's crying out in pain and nearly toppling off the edge of the step stool.
in retrospect, rafe knows he should have stopped her sooner, should have plucked the hammer from her eager grip and eased her down from the wobbly step stool that's in need of replacement before she started. but was he so wrong in his journey for amusement, for assuring that she had learned her lesson and didn't try to repeat a perceivably heinous act? after all, he's warned her about this before - the starting of new tasks before realistic knowledge about what she's beginning - and thus, rafe doesn't feel guilty.
he betrays the shoddy craftsmanship of the woman's failed crochet project (he's been nice enough not to say anything about the large, and slipshod holes in its patterns.. at least so far), and catches her around the waist when she drops down onto the second step of the stool with a wobbling foot. "ow!" she echoes again, sucking the afflicted fingers into her mouth and allowing the arm with the hammer to drop sorrowfully to her side. "jesus, why does no one warn you about that?"
he takes the tool from her, smearing a smiling kiss into her temple and twisting a pinch into her backside through her pink joggers. "i know, right?" he motions toward the spot on the couch that he was previously keeping warm. "they should put a warning on these things. sit down, kid, i'll finish putting it up."
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voidprincessblog · 5 months
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I want to enter the void within this week. I have been trying and affirming right before I go to sleep and I can feel my body falling asleep or kind of vibrate like it's going numb but I never get in. Any advice or methods I can try out that might help?
Hiii my love, also it's been awhile since I answered a void/ Loa ask. I missed yall tho. Yess, I do have a method that you might wanna try and I think everyone should too. I'll share the method below with the links and stuff ♡
✩ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐊𝐑𝐀 𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐃 ✩
( This is a void state method and can also be used as a shifting method, but only use it for shifting post-void state as the whole point of this IS to get you into void state >:) if you use this for shifting it will be an awake method, but you can turn it into an asleep method if you prefer after you enter void ) Credits to Eros !!
This method has worked for me everytime I've tried it and usually takes about 5 minutes to enter the void. i have had minishifts while using this btw and my most powerful and intense minishift was actually when i first made this method.
For this method you need to be relaxed, i usually do this when tired but it works best when you're not drowsy, i dont recommended being tired to the point you’re about to fall asleep but moreso in a state where you think youll be up for about an hour more before you go to bed :smile: i HIGHLY recommend it is night time.
✧ Get in a quiet and DARK environment and turn on some theta waves, i HIGHLY recommended theta and/ or epsilon waves or binural beats. Make sure it is dark and nothing is bothering you. I'm ngl to you guys the ones i find most helpful are these here, ive literally had the most shifts with these than with any other sub/waves I've ever used, and I've also had the most powerful experiences with them.
✧ Lay in starfish, ik ik but this is very important for this method on its own, you won't have to fall asleep for this at all so dw about that. i recommend lying on your side for like 20 minutes beforehand so you’re uncomfortable on your side and lying on your back feels nice and welcoming. you dont have to be directly in starfish but make sure you're on your back and your limbs aren't touching.
✧ Relax your whole body, go from your head to your toes, release your forehead muscles, unsquint your eyes make sure they're relaxed, release tension in your shoulders, then your left arm then you're right and make your way down your whole body. Relax it fully and make sure there is no tension in your body.
✧ Now imagine your seven main chakras, see them in your minds eye and focus on seeing balls of white energy where they are. then start feeling the energy within your body. start from the root and count upwards to your crown chakra 6 times, feel the energy there and see the light get brighter and stronger. feel your eyes move beneath your eyelids as you go upwards (do not force this movement or try to move your eyes forcefully, it should happen naturally as you imagine focusing on different spots of your body). take your time with this and please dont rush it, you are supposed to FEEL. Here is a picture if you dont know the main chakra points.
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✧ Now for the seventh time imagine the energy orbs connecting to one another, as you move up your body imagine the white light connecting from your root to your crown and creating a straight line of energy connecting your head to your toes, the second it all connects hold the image and focus on your third eye and the energy it holds, then release. the second you do this you should feel a sensation in your body and possibly see lights, you are in void state.
✧ From here affirm things such as “i am more than my physical body, i am not attached to a physical body, i am pure consciousness, i am in the void state” if you feel it necessary.
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