#your days are fucking numbered

[urfaveisadilf]

Ugly Sonic from Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers is… a dilf

#ugly sonic #chip and dale #chip and dale: rescue rangers #urfaveisadilf #whichever one of you motherfuckers requested this #your days are fucking numbered

[aeterna---amantes]

Both of them being 🤨 at each other. 😂

#asgard to earth 💚 (ooc) #mun plays baldur's gate 3 #bg 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #Legolas #Raphael #Oh Raphael oh Raphael #Your days are fucking numbered

[banana-milk-enthusiast]

Did someone just Tumblr Blaze the entire fucking Shrek script

#your days are fucking numbered #how dare you make me scroll that long #what is this 2013?!

[beanghostprincess]

zoro kisses luffy always three times.

when they wake up, always intertwined in whatever place they fell asleep that night, zoro kisses luffy's forehead, cheek, and then lips. in that order, holding his face with both hands every time. it makes luffy wake up with a smile.

when he's training and luffy decides it's amusing to watch his boyfriend, zoro stops always three times to kiss luffy. three breaks with each set of exercises. forehead. head, if luffy isn't wearing the hat (if he is, then the cheek). and lips when he's done exercising.

when they're eating, zoro kisses luffy's free hand. then he kisses him on the shoulder. and lastly, on his head. his lips are busy eating, after all, but luffy smiles nevertheless and leans on his touch even if he's focused on the food.

when they win a fight, zoro kisses him three times exactly on the lips. softly. a bit harder. and then more passionately the third time. luffy always returns the kisses with more intensity, between laughs and giggles.

when luffy is the one sleeping after the fight, resting. he's exhausted, but he can somehow feel in his dreams how zoro moves his hair to the side to kiss his forehead. his hand. his wrist.

when they're making love, zoro always kisses the inside of luffy's right leg three times, making his way to his thighs. then does the same with the left one, and proceeds to kiss his scar. his neck. his shoulders. always three times.

luffy notices after some time together, but says nothing. instead, he tries to do the same. he kisses zoro's ear three times (one kiss per earring). he kisses his right hand, the left one, and then his lips (one kiss per sword). he kisses zoro's scar on his eye, the one on his chest, and the one on his shoulder (one kiss per every moment luffy wasn't there to fight with him).

"why are you doing this?" zoro asks one day out of the blue, after luffy finishes with his set of kisses.

the captain tilts his head to the side, frowning. "doing what?"

and the swordsman, for once, doesn't know what to say, so he stays quiet for a few seconds. "the- the thing. with the kisses. three kisses. why? that's a me thing. i do it because-"

"it calms you down!" luffy figures, and due to zoro's eyes, he assumes his hypothesis is right. the captain grins, squeezing his hand three times. "since you like doing it so much, i thought it would make you feel better if i did it too. does it work?"

zoro stares at him with a fond smile, one that he only is able to show when they're on their own. he squeezes luffy's hand back three times. "yes, captain."

...

it happens quick.

they don't see it coming. luffy should have been able to protect them.

and it's stupid, he thinks. it shouldn't hurt this way. he should be focusing on going back to his crew instead of this, but he feels uneasy. uncomfortable in his own skin.

he had only kissed zoro twice that day back at sabaody.

he has to go back to him, so he can kiss him four times. one to make up for the day they were separated, and three more, only because. only because he will be able to do it after two years. it will take two years to see each other again. two. he's starting to hate that number.

but then he thinks about zoro. zo-ro. two syllables. two o's. his second in command. his first mate. one, two, three.

he didn't exactly get why zoro likes counting so much. numbers are something luffy isn't fond of following much. but he thinks he gets it now.

one year. two years.

on the third one, he'll be able to see him. and luffy will kiss zoro one time, to make up for sabaody. and it will be the first kiss of endless sets of kisses coming in three.

and, weirdly enough, it calms him down too.

#zoro's obsession with the number three keeps me up at night #honestly this is relatable af bc i do this too for some reason with the number 4 #i love the number 4 bc my favorite number is 2 and it's literally 2x2 #i would fucking love to understand how my brain works #anyway zoro i love you!! there are 4 days left for your b-day baby #and idk what the fuck i wrote this is just a random thought ngl #one piece #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #zolu

[cuoredimuschio]

okay, but where's my steddie AU where steve wants to learn to play guitar to impress a girl he's infatuated with and he remembers that munson kid was always hanging up posters for his weird band at school, so he hikes out to eddie's usual dealing spot behind the track and asks (with far less groveling than he really should have) if eddie will teach him how to play, and obviously eddie says no because why would he want to help king steve, but of course, steve offers to pay him, $20 a week, and well, that's the kind of get-the-hell-out-of-this-shithole-town cash eddie really can't afford to refuse, so fine, he'll teach steve to play and they'll spend inordinate amounts of time together tucked away in eddie's room and they'll start to see that they have more in common than they thought and that they kind of had each other all wrong, and eddie will put his hand over steve's to help him get the placement for a tricky chord and it totally won't awaken anything in either of them?? where is it??

edit: i started writing it

#steve x eddie #steddie #stranger things #someone tell me this has already been written because i need it. please. #bonus points if steve shows up to the first practice session empty-handed #and eddie nearly calls the whole thing off when he has the Audacity to grab at eddie's sweetheart as if eddie'd ever let him play her #and he doesn't even teach steve anything that day because rule number one get your own fucking guitar and keep your mitts off mine #but by the end when eddie is deep deep deep in love and it's time to send steve off to woo this lucky girl of his #he offers to let steve take his sweetheart because she's guaranteed to make him look ten times hotter and cooler #and he'll have no trouble sweeping his girl off her feet and maybe eddie's breaking his own heart but it's fine—as long as steve's happy #except steve doesn't seem nearly as happy as eddie thought he would be #he seems sad actually and eddie kind of hates that so he starts to make some lame joke about how steve should be honored #because eddie wouldn't lend his baby out to just anyone and that gets steve to crack half a smile #but then he puts the guitar down on eddie's bed (with all due gentle reverence) walks over takes eddie's face in his hands and kisses him #kisses him like he's been dying to do it for weeks. because he has #because somewhere along the line it stopped being about wanting to impress a girl and started being about wanting to be with eddie #it started being screwing up on purpose so that eddie would grab his hands and show him how it's supposed to be done #and forgetting about lessons entirely and just sitting around and listening to eddie talk or just watching him play #because somewhere along the line steve fell out of infatuation and into love with the last person he ever expected.... #anyway idk where i'm going with this

[miekasa]

when your children are still babies, they get so so upset when gojo comes home and doesn’t immediately pick them up. your baby has recently learned that the sound of the front door opening and closing usually signals the return of their father so tonight, when the door opens, your baby’s head perks up. when he finally takes his shoes off and makes his way into the home, he spots his little angel on the couch. “hi baby!” he coos at them with a smile on his face and his hands full with some packages. “let me go put these down and i’ll be right back!” he tries to explain, to which your baby just obliviously smiles at, just happy to see their father and know that he’s giving them attention. but when they realize that he’s leaving their sight and didn’t immediately pick them up… oh have mercy. it becomes a shit storm because who does he think he is?? to not give his baby all his time and attention! gojo comes running back into the living room confused as to why they’re crying but as soon as he picks them up, they stop crying and start giggling. what a dramatic little baby you’ve been blessed with. the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree ig

— doc dad levi anon

SHUT UPPPPP because you know Satoru loves the attention too, they’re a perfect match together bye. All you can do is stand, bemused, as Satoru picks up the baby and almost instantly quells his crying, rocking him back and forth before stretching his arms to hold the kid at eye level with him and cooing, “Oh, I’m sorry my love, I missed you too, soooooo much,” Satoru bends his arms to brush their noses together and grin at the giggles the baby emits, “You missed me too, yeah? Aren’t you the sweetest little thing, missing me like that? So precious.” Satoru covers the baby in kisses and sweet words for nearly five straight minutes and they both love to bask in each other’s attention (you have the videos to prove it).

Something kinda funny tho is… you’re 98% sure your son can tell that Satoru will give into quickest lmfaoo. Your baby cries sometimes when you have to leave him, sure, and can definitely throw a fit when he wants your attention—but he seems to know to cry (or squeal, or babble, or screech) on demand for his sucker of a father. Nanami, Shoko, Megumi, and Yuuta (your on rotation band of baby sitters) have noticed that the kid loves to be held and has no shame gesturing for it—but they’ve never experienced the baby crying when they so much as step away for a moment, unless he’s hungry or needs to be changed. You don’t have the heart to tell Satoru he’s being played tho, so you just let them have their moment <333 (not that it would matter, Satoru can’t stand to see your kid cry in any capacity, so he’d go right back to giving in; plus it’s a win-win in his book anyway: baby stops crying, and he gets cuddles from his son).

(Then again, you think the need and love for attention might just be genetic, because Satoru has cried big tears a handful of times just leaving you and your baby at home for a few hours).

#anonymous #satoru ‘i’m not crying i’m just. really fucking SAD OKAY I MISS THEM!!!!’ gojo #satoru: maybe my eyes are misty!! so what!!! there’s a lady and baby gojo waiting for me at home and i’m HERE! I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!! #can we talk about your lineup of babysitters tho LMFAOO #you have basically a father number 2 (the one u call on the most bc let’s be real. why wouldn’t you) + the kid ADORES him #also you can leave the kid w nanami for like. more than a day shoukd something happen. he’s the best #he’s gentle he’s reliable he’s safe he just. best godfather fr #shoko who the baby is obviously Safe with in the literal medical sense but god she needs a nap more than he does LMFAO #baby seems to like her tho and she’s always like ‘i can’t believe this is /satoru’s/ spawn’ #megumi is basically the kids older brother for all intents and purposes and the baby loves him :( #megumi gets the most squishes (see gently smacked with a baby palm) and kisses and megumi just. allows it :((( so cute :((( #yuuta whos always like you..:. are you sure you want ME to babysit? and then is a natural bye #like wdym you got him to eat the steamed cauliflower AND not spill his yogurt AND only have one outfit change? #anon u make me YEARN #gojo x reader #satoru.ask

[just-null-cult]

IS THIS DAY 8 OR 9

IDK I FORGOR

LET MARRY UR NORITOSHI RN

or so you thought. i really like the number five and you skipped that day. all your efforts have gone down the drain and im annulling this marriage.

#cult leader cameo #suiana #marry me! #YOU WERE GOING FOR DAYS BUT YOU FUCKING FORGOT DAY 5 #IM IN SHAMBLES. BUT BC I LOVE ALL MY CULT MEMBERS.. i'll still spoil you #the dedication.. even when almost forgetting. #was it petty of me to make you all wait 30 mins bc this lovely cult member of mine forgot day 5? probably. yes. #did i feel guilty abt it? no. but if any of you put the pieces together before i told you. congrats you get a pat on the head #pat pat #this is super a joke btw youre not being exiled or anything #but i do really like the number five as much as i liked stamping declined on your marriage certificate #so youre getting executed instead #anyways hello. i got really busy so i died for a bit. tysm for doing this though. it was really fun #im really flattered and happy that you like my interpretation of noritoshi to take time out of your day to remember to do this #if anyone was wondering. yes this was spread out through actual days and im appalled. sorry i have to execute you. i wont forget you

[ticklepinions]

I am going absolutely FERAL

Fuck me ticklish guys are just-

So I ofc am hugging one of my friendos cause I got that cute aggression. But that jerk (/aff) said some snide comment and I was all like "that's it". And I hugged him from behind and wiggled my fingers under his arms.

Y'all. His fucking laugh. The sweetest shit I ever did hear. I think I lost consciousness for a couple seconds just being in awe of the sound.

He said, and very adorably at that, "noooo don't tickle me". You bet your ass I did in fact do the opposite. All the while he's trying to roll away (we're in chairs). So our other friends are in the same room, casually ignoring all of this and having their own convos. But this absolute trumpet screamed out "[other friend's name] come tickle him".

I beg your pardon!?!?!

He's doing this while cackling his pretty lil head off. So I just had to make it worse for trying to turn the tables. I'm just following the rules y'know. So I start gently kneading the area where the chest and armpit meet, which apparently was a good choice because he threw his head back and laughed even louder. I couldn't do it for long cause my other friend tazed me in the side and I had to run away (and subsequently chased and "tickled" under a table by both of them).

Anyway. I am so fucking normal about tickling. And I am not replaying this scene in my head again and again. Haha. That would be weird. SO weirs. Ha...

#twordpinion #storytime with onion #fuck man I cannot #that was good. so good #i used tickled in quotations cause my friends suck at it respectfully #one is too soft. the other too hard #but my body still reacts y'know? but it doesn't really tickle tickle... #anyways if you are a ticklish guy your days are numbered. i am coming to getcha

[mamawasatesttube]

saw someone being wrong about kon on the internet again (i know. shocking) and you are all so lucky i'm sick and feverish and lazy because i DID just seriously entertain the thought of writing up a small essay complete with issue and panel citations about why it's simply incorrect to say that kon never really seemed to reciprocate any sort of crush on tim before geoff/tt03. this is just not true. you dont have to actually ship them but to downplay their importance to each other even in the earliest days is simply incorrect. i'm too tired and achy to bother digging through comics to pull up all the issues that have the bits i want to point at but like... they were both very mutually important to each other from early on. it was in no way shape or form one-sided, whether you want to read that as platonic or romantic. man.

#rimi talks #id rather put my limited energy towards the tender t4t timkonisms fic but in my heart this is a longass post #kon's sb94 alice in wonderland nightmare sequence. kon's entire Everything @ tim in issue 85. #the entire concept of robin kon?????? hello????? #the way they function as a unit so easily in yj98 even While actively bickering??? #graduation day and judd winick explicitly saying he wanted them to come out of the closet [together]?? #kon going out of his way to not only do bits just to annoy tim but also being protective of him at the same time?? (in yj98 again) #him wanting robin's number in wf3 (and then getting it sometime before rex leech roller coaster issue)?????? #what are you fucking onnnnnnnnn #you dont have to read it as romantic if you dont want to but they were undeniably close and it was undeniably mutual. bro #i just um. i just think that if youre so internet poisoned to hate a ship that you have to deny the characters have mutual importance #to each other in the canon material (but you can't deny it from one side so you have to claim it's mostly one-sided and blame a writer) #then maybe you should um log off and reread canon ? #<- that's petty sorry but im just saying. #anyways. #returning to the timkon mines now. crawls back into my word doc

[ghelgheli]

mā ramezun mobārak rofaqā

also it's my birthday

#my physical form #also it's mario day also remember your clocks also fuck the oscars etc. etc. #my age is a prime number again

[killthefuhkinglights]

girl you better put that tongue away or else

stills from The Hirs Collective’s new mv for their song Trust The Process ft. Frank Iero and Rosie Richeson! find it here on youtube

#gway pussy #frank iero #frank #the hirs collective #istg #him in his fucking knicks crewneck #i hate him jesus christ #watch out man your days are numbered #i’m gonna bet that he’s just in his fucking backyard singing along to send the video for the mv

[ashes-in-a-jar]

At this point I need to put some podcasts on

1/'the-amount-of- time-it-takes-for-an-update-to-come-out'X speed

so I won't go insane with the wait

#mine #podcasts #camlann #youre killing me #tmagp #that too #also #tell no tales #dimension 20 #red valley #new years day #fuck that podcast how dare it come out only ONCE A YEARRRR #ask your father #worlds beyond number #hello from the hallowoods #the magnus protocol #lost terminal #malevolent #the white vault #im in way too deep lmaoo #FUCK I FORGOT #mistholme museum

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

[crimeronan]

back to thinking about that worst timeline princess AU concept where luz and hunter end up with camila in the human realm when camila hasn't met vee and doesn't know about the isles. & so camila thinks that the two of them have just been held captive together for years.

i'm mainly thinking about my 100% certainty that luz would develop a Crippling case of agoraphobia for..... very obvious reasons. double-checked the definition just now because i was like "i'm pretty sure it's no longer referred to as a fear of being outside??" and yeah -- it's a fear of being in environments where you'll be helpless or unable to escape if something goes wrong. which. well. you guys know what she's gone thru.

that combined with the general confusion and sensory overload of the human world.... i think luz would get Very Very Very Upset if she was forced to leave the house. and going anywhere without hunter especially is a non-starter. like one of u guys said a few days ago, the sheer LEVELS that her separation anxiety would ratchet up to.... she's basically following him to the bathroom whenever he gets up and sitting outside the door like a lonely cat. i don't even want to CONSIDER the kind of breakdown she'd have if she was made to go out with camila to, like, a completely normal therapy appointment.

#on hunter's end he isn't afraid of being in the human world by himself but #he IS afraid of luz being in the human world (too many unknown variables) (cannot protect her) #and is terrified of being separated from her. about as terrified as luz is of separation from him. #therefore he has functionally the same restrictions on Not Going Anywhere #mostly just thinking about camila trying to learn very very very fast how to help a daughter who is So Unstable #when obviously letting luz and hunter spend 20 hours a day sleeping and moving as little as possible is not sustainable #but ~traditional~ recovery methods like dragging your kid to doctor and therapy and group therapy appointments are. extremely likely to #retraumatize her. camila's number one priority is luz feeling safe and considering camila a safe trustworthy person #fuck any and all Tough Love advice. shes gonna let luz n hunter breathe & she's gonna fret horribly about it #i dunno. i'm migraine. this means i'm thinking about luz and hunter being clingy and crazy #toh #princess luz au #horrible mindscape trauma pals #princess luz au worst timeline #camila noceda

[seth-burroughs]

Yomi alt hair colors (+ his eyebrow tattoo)

#drawing anything is so fucking hard these days good lord. or just doing stuff in general. #damn we're going thru it. maybe i'll feel better if you give me your credit card information.....? and the funny numbers on the back?? :3 #mine #art tag #master detective archives: rain code #rain code #yomi hellsmile

[petitesmafia]

Elon is so desperate to monetize every little thing about twitter that all he’s actually doing is slowly burning the platform to the ground lol

#personal #that man needs to GO I’m afraid #literally so fucking annoying #setting a rate limit on everyone so they can’t see Jack shit #and then tweeting about the number of tweets ppl are limited to reading per day #you raging moron lol I can’t even SEE your tweet announcing the limits BECAUSE OF THE RATE LIMIT #make it make sense