#your gonna try and stand there and tell me they ain’t gay
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After: Bill Williamson X Male Reader
Pronouns: None Mentioned, implied masculinity, Reader referred to as ‘man’ and ‘boy’
Physical Sex: AMAB implied
Rating: T/Implied sex, violence
Warnings: Incredibly gay and closeted Bill, internalized homophobia, body issues, angst, hurt/comfort, kissing, hugs, threats, implied cheating
Summary: After your first night together Bill wakes up to find you not next to him. Given the recent events with the gang falling apart and his own insecurities, he panics.
Bill feels cold and when he opens his eyes, his heart races. The bed is empty next to him and his hand squeezes at the sheets as if what was there will reappear if he looks hard enough. He scrambles out of bed and down the stairs, halting for a moment as his fear disappears. Before you can turn around he hugs you tightly, pulling you away from the counter and firmly against his body. It’s been two days here, two days since the gang fell apart.
“Morning to you too, Bill.”
“Ya weren’t in bed.” He says, voice muffled by your shirt as he’s buried his face into your back.
“I was making breakfast.”
Bill’s arms tighten around you and you have to tap his arm to tell him you can’t breathe. He lets you go and looks over your shoulder to see an arrangement of eggs and sausage. Neither of you have had a warm meal since Pearson’s last stew.
“There a reason you’re naked, Bill?”
He looks down at himself to see his bare body. His hands scramble to cover himself, suddenly self conscious. “I-I’m sorry, I-”
“Don’t apologize, Bill.” You press a hand against his cheek and give him a quick kiss. “I love seeing as much of you as I can.”
His face goes red under your touch. “Stop it.”
You smile as he squirms a little. “I can’t admire you?”
“There ain’t nothin’ ta admire.” He mutters, shame coming over him.
“Bill-”
“I ain’t nothin’ special, quit actin’ like it!” He huffs. “We ain’t-We ain’t nothin’ but a couple a’ lost men what lost our sense!”
You raise your hands. “I’m sorry.”
He takes heavy breaths as his mind condemns his memories of last night and all of your days together. He shuffles away, runs back up the stairs, and dresses himself with a lasting scowl. He’s a fool. A fool to think he could go through all of this with you.
“Bill.”
He looks up at the sound of your voice, so soft and patient that it makes his heart skip.
“Are you okay?”
So badly he wants to tell you that he’s not so you’ll hold him like you always do. Your strong arms and the comforting warmth-- No. It’s wrong. It’s always been wrong and he’s finally realizing just how much of a fool he is.
“Fuck off, boy.” He says, shoving his foot into his boot.
His heart beats fast as he stands and you block his path, your arms crossed over your chest in a firm stance.
“Don’t do this to yourself again, Bill.” You say with that same honey voice that makes him feel safe and--and wrong.
“Move.” He says through gritted teeth.
“You’ve done this before.” You say gently. “You hurt yourself.”
He glares at you, fists clenched at his sides.
“You hurt me, Bill.”
He shoves you aside, rushing past you and down the stairs. He can hear your footsteps following him so he draws his gun and turns. “Ya ain’t followin’ me!”
You stop in your tracks, raising your hands. “You’re gonna go do what you tried to do before and it’s not gonna work, Bill.”
“Shut up!”
His mind races, clouded by his anger. He has fuzzy memories of leaving camp in a huff, spending a week away, and coming back to your open arms. He tried to prove himself wrong, make himself a man instead of some degenerate. But you’re right, it didn’t work. He came running back to you and he cried like a little girl, sitting in your lap with you wiping his tears. But it’s wrong. It’s wrong and it’s--it’s…
He lowers the gun and he takes a shaky breath. You come towards him and envelop him in your arms. He shutters, trying to hold back tears as your strong grip keeps him steady. You hold him for a few minutes before he slips his gun into its holster and he wraps his arms around you.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbles.
“I pushed you too far.” You squeeze him tighter. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head, a few tears falling against your shirt. “N-No, I wanted ta do all that. I just, I just got…”
“I know, Bill. I know.”
He clings to you for a minute, letting himself remember things fondly now. The gentle way you flirted with him when you joined the gang, the patience you’ve shown him as he gets comfortable, your forgiveness for his rash actions, the tender way you kissed him for the first time. His fingers grip at the fabric covering your back as he recalls the hundred times you asked if he was sure of what he wanted last night. You waited years for him to accept your gentle advances, years for him to kiss you on his own, years for him to come up with the word love, and years for him to lay with you. You’ve waited years for him to be the man he’s meant to be instead of the man everyone expects him to be.
“I ruined yer nice breakfast.” He mutters.
“I can warm it up.” You sigh. “Just wanna make sure you’re okay.”
“Don’t-Don’t leave bed again.”
Your hand moves to tilt his face to look at you. “I won’t. I’m not ever gonna leave you, Bill.”
#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#red dead redemption x reader#bill williamson#bill williamson x reader#bill williamson x male reader#red dead redemption x male reader#x reader#x male reader
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I mentioned to @fish-bowl-2 I had an idea for a short mistletoe-centered fic lying by the wayside. Thanks for prodding me to do this, it was a bit tough and I spent too long on this silly thing 🥴 but enjoy the read! (or not)
(The characters are older teens in this)
It Is the Tradition
The front door was opened by a beaming Nazz, not-so-Christmas-y music coming from inside the house.
“Heeeyyy, Snazzy… where’s the partyyyy?
“It’s right here, baby!!!”
Standing right behind his partner, Edd opted for a milder “Greetings”, earning a courteous nod from her.
"Has Ed arrived already?"
“Yeah! He’s…” She glanced back inside and giggled. “He’s showing off his dance moves to Kevin and Rolf, actually.”
She let them in and led them to the living room.
“Hey, people… congrats, Ed, you came early.” Eddy punched his arm. “I guess you get an extra present for this."
"Oooh, I can't wait to see..." He skipped in place with excitement.
Eddy moved on to the other two guests with a wicked smile.
“So tell me, handsome...” He reached up and patted the tall farmer’s stubbled cheek. “Didya get any Christmas present for your boyfriend?”
Rolf’s eyes widened. “Boy… friend?”
Swallowing awkardly, Kevin forced a sneer. “Tch! The comedian’s here… the only gay couple around right now is you guys.”
Edd rolled his eyes to hide his embarrassment.
“I see the well-wishing Christmas regards are being regularly exchanged… very reassuring.”
Eddy checked his fingernails absent-mindedly. “It gets kinda lonely, Kev... I was hoping we could strike up a club!"
“Ech…” Kevin stuck out his tongue. “Mind your own business. Can’t dudes be bros for once? Rolf and me, man…” He gave a strong pat on his friend’s back.
“We’re total bros, ain’t that right, Rolfo?”
“Oh, y-yes, Kevin! Eh…” Rubbing his neck, he made a finger-gun gesture. “Righteous, as you say!”
“Huhuh, Kevo’s taught ya well! Been spending lotsa time together, I see…”
“Rolf’s mom made Kevin that sweater, guys!” Nazz walked in the room with a tray of eggnog glasses. “Isn’t that sweet?”
“Y-yeah!” Kevin put a hand on his hip. “Rolf’s parents are just cool like that.”
The short Ed squinted at them. “Eeehh... I got my eye on you…” He glanced at Nazz with a wink and she winked back at him knowingly.
Kevin decided to focus his attention on Ed, who was shifting his legs and feet along to the music, and with a certain intensity to boot.
"Ain’t gonna lie… ya got some good moves, dude!”
“Hehehe, thanks, Ke-whoa!” SLAM!
Ed fell to the ground with a booming thump - in his fun, he’d managed to tie his shoes together through sheer foot-shifting.
“Wow, yer complimenting Ed now? It sure is Christmas time!”
“Hey, Eddy?" Nazz tugged at his arm. "Could you help me in the kitchen a moment? You always say you're good with food...”
“Hehe, just tell me what you need, honey.”
He licked his lips the moment they walked into the kitchen.
“Huh, I don’t think this needs any help.”
“No, actually…”, she whispered, getting closer to him.
“I need another kind of help… those two are driving me mad!” She waved her arms at him, frustrated.
“Who? You mean…” He let out a wheezy laugh. “I getcha... listen, I'll give ya five bucks if you can just get them under the mistletoe, right now.”
"How?"
"Double Dee once told me about, uh... the easiest solution being the best one! It was called, uh, someone's razor, or something like that..." He rubbed his forehead.
"Occam?"
He stared at her in surprise. "You know this stuff?"
"...It's basic philosophy, dude."
He frowned silently for a moment. "Whatever...", he muttered, reaching for one of the treats on the table. "Mmm, yumm-OW!"
She slapped his hand. "Don't steal!"
"Just one...", he pleaded.
"First we have to execute... Operation Mistletoe!" She laughed.
While Ed and Kevin were trying to convince Edd to dance, Rolf peeked for the umpteenth time at the mistletoe hanging down from the rear archway - he’d been eyeing it since his arrival, and he finally took advantage of the commotion to absent himself and examine it. He moved under it, rubbing his stubbled chin as he inspected the decoration with doubtful eyes.
“Mmm... Rolf is not fooled by the false ornament…”
Edd overheard his mumbling and laughed lightly.
“...hey, Ed, check this out…”
He left Ed and Kevin to trade moves and walked up to the perplexed farmer.
“It’s a fake mistletoe, isn't it? Of course you’d be bothered, Rolf.”
“Yes, it is not a real… mistletoe, as it goes in English. You people like to do forgery of plants, yes? Rolf will never understand…”
Edd shrugged. “Well… sometimes one requires an easy decoration for festivities. The symbolic meaning is what’s important, and this is one of the hallmark symbols of Christmas, after all.”
He saw Rolf was clearly puzzled by his last statement.
“Oh! Are you not familiar with the delightful mistletoe custom?”
Rolf shook his head. “In Rolf’s homeland, it is used in winter solstice celebrations… but what does it have to do with the celebration of senseless spending of consumer goods?"
"Um..."
"Gee, that sounds like something you'd say, Sockhead!"
Edd shushed him with a wave of his arm and collected himself. “Ah, Rolf, well..." He proudly stuck a finger up, jumping at the opportunity to teach something to Rolf.
“It’s a tradition which started in Victorian England, in the nineteenth century. It’s quite simple, really. When two, ehm…partners stand under the mistletoe, well…” He fidgeted with his hands. “They have to kiss each other. That’s it.” He shrugged and chuckled shyly.
“Aahhh…” Rolf leaned his head back in understanding. “Rolf’s ears like this meeting-of-mouths-ritual!” He laughed heartily.
Nazz caught Kevin staring vacantly at his ‘buddy’ and went to pinch his cheek, startling him out of his trance.
“Earth to Kevin…”, she whispered, before grabbing him by the shoulders.
“Sorry, Kev… you’ll thank me for this later.”
She suddenly threw him as hard as she could towards Rolf, making him bump roughly into his taller companion. Rolf had to hold him to keep him from tumbling to the ground - they exchanged confused glances before turning to Nazz.
“W-what the hell was that for???”
“Guuuyyysss…”
Beaming, she pointed above their heads. They looked up, and then at each other. Rolf was still holding him, and both their faces went tomato red.
“Uh? N-no way, dude!”, Kevin stuttered, freeing himself from the grasp.
“Ah-ah-ah, you can’t back out of it, Boxhead!”
“You were right, Eddy”, Nazz laughed. “It was that easy!”
"What are you-" Kevin gasped, suddenly feeling Rolf’s hand on his back, pulling him way too close to his face. The farmer scowled defensively at the others.
“The son of a shepherd will not let our honor be mocked! The tradition will be respected."
Mouth agape, Kevin lost his voice completely when Rolf turned to him again.
“We will show loudmouth Ed-boy and go-go-Nazz-girl, yes?” Grinning, he wiggled his mono-brow seductively before closing the distance between them.
Nazz squealed while Eddy erupted in incredulous cackling.
“Way to shut him up, Rolfy!”
Ed started clapping, soon infecting the others - even Edd couldn’t help but join in the scene. Rolf finally pulled away with a proud smile spreading on his blushing face.
“Hohoho! Many thanks, my friends! Many thanks…” He bowed dramatically to them.
Nazz whooped. “It was about time, you guys!”
“Kevo’s still reeling! Hahaha!”
Dazed, he saw Nazz wiggling her hand at the short Ed, a satisfied smirk on her face - he took out a five-dollar note and eagerly handed it to her.
“W-what the…”, Kevin sputtered. Feeling steam come out of his ears, he pointed a finger at the two accomplices.
“Is this a prank??? ‘Cause I swear…”
Rolf looked at him with a hurt expression. “Did you not enjoy Rolf's kiss?"
Kevin pouted, arms crossed. "Not if it's a joke!" He glanced up at him. “Wait… you’re not kidding?”
Rolf’s frown melted into a reassuring smile.
“But of course, Rolf is not jesting, Kevin-boy!”
Kevin still glared at him. "Alright, then..."
He let his friend pull him in and kiss him softly once more.
“Awww, guys!”
“HOORAY FOR KEVIN AND ROOOOLF!!!"
“Dammit, Lumpy, ya didn’t have to burst my eardrum!”
As the two under the mistletoe separated again, Kevin looked at their audience and finally cracked a sheepish smile. He turned back to Rolf, who responed with a similarly goofy grin.
“It is the tradition, yes?”
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Incorrect quotes, now in text form instead of images:
==============================
Zim: If you elect me as president of the United States, I will personally burn the constitution on my first day in office.
Dib: Then what?
Zim: Funnel all the defence budget into building a time machine so I can go to the past and fight the Beatles.
Gaz: Change we can believe in.
==============================
Dib: You think being gay is hard??? Try telling people you’re only attracted to clowns.
Zim, without hesitation: Narcissistic ain’t cute Dib.
Dib: …
Dib: …
Dib: …
Dib: There’s literally no possible response I can make to this where I come out a winner. I’ve actually never been owned this hard before. I think I legally owe you money now.
==============================
Red: I just realized that not everyone can fit their fist down into a Pringles can. How do y’all survive?
Tak: I rip the can open with my teeth.
Zim: Raw strength or scissors.
Tenn: Pour it into my hand and then lick it up like a dog
Purple: I just realized that not everyone can fit their mouth around a Pringles can.
Skoodge: Smoke it like a giant joint.
Red: Damn y’all live like this?
Gir: I eat mine like a spider.
Red: WHAT. DOES. THAT. MEAN.
==============================
Dib: The person that invented hummus really was just like: “Man fuck these chickpeas *beats the shit out of them*”
Gir: I’m gonna invent powdered toes.
Dib: Honestly I don’t know what that means but I feel like you should go to jail.
==============================
Gaz: Is Zim okay?
Zim: Sometimes I get the overwhelming desire to eat two thirds of a brick.
Gaz: What do you do with the other third?
Zim: Feed it to my robot brother.
==============================
Zim: whos granny smith where shes getting all of these damb apples.
Gir: fun fact! granny smith is nabed aftr marea am smift frugh huh dibrack blarn eat showegh whale snert yargh hugh mort B.. ..b……hhngh… .. .. .…. … . ………… j
Zim: eeach day i learn some more ! :) thank you for the share
==============================
Zim: Just watched Shape of Water and like. Damn. She literally flooded her whole apartment for that fish dick.
Dib: Frankly it’s just like that sometimes.
Zim: It literally isn’t and I’m concerned.
Dib: Coward.
Zim: Fishfucker.
==============================
The Control Brains: We will make eye contact with you and connect to the wifi in your brain and delete half of your memories and make you left handed.
Zim: But I am left handed. And I already have a poor memory, so good luck finding anything worth deleting.
Zim: WAIT A MINUTE
==============================
Zim: Dirt.
Gir: mmmm… …tasty..
Zim: The D in dirt stands for “do not eat this please”.
Gir: But the I R T stands for “It’s really tasty”
==============================
Zim: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million monies?
Skoodge: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Tenn: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Zim: Good thinking!
==============================
Tak: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it
Zim: Just rip the bandage off.
Tak: It’s Tenn.
Zim: Put the bandage back on.
==============================
Zim: We need to get through this locked door. Skoodge, give me your credit card.
Skoodge: Here.
Zim, pocketing it: Thanks. Tenn, kick down the door.
==============================
Zim: What do you think Tenn will do for a distraction?
Skoodge: She’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Skoodge: ... or they could do that.
==============================
Gaz: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?
Zim: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-
Dib: Smad.
==============================
Zim: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Skoodge: Wasn't Tenn with you?
Tenn: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
==============================
Recap Kid: Remember! Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!
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This gif out of context will never not be funny.
First of all, Belch looking like he’s amused himself by saying something stupid. Like there’s not fucking way anyone else said anything to him. Look at them, nobody said shit. Homeboy is just laughing at nothing.
Next we have Patrick. Looking gay af my boy. I mean you’re just smiling at Ritchie from down the hall. I know it’s because he’s about to bully him. But like Patrick my love, that’s a bit obsessive. You find way to much joy in bullying this kid. Not gonna lie, I think it turns him on. But also, who the fuck stands Like that? Get your thumbs out your back pocket boy, you ain’t from Texas. Get yourself a cowboy hat while you’re at it and trade out them Docs for cowboy boots.
Henry, Henry looks like a fucking toddler throwing a tantrum. Wtf is he looking at? He’s just kinda standing there. Like he looks like he hasn’t had a single thought in weeks. Head fucking empty. He’s so zoned you’d have to tackle him to bring him back to reality. Like does he do that often or is he just being pissy for no reason? Also can we talk about his bracelets? Which one of the Bowers Gang made them for him? 🤨 who was it?!?
Last but not least, my baby Victor. Over here looking like a blonde Troy Sivan. The fit, whack. Only Billy Loomis can get away with being that fucking boring when it comes to fashion. But that’s because he’s a main fucking character. Who are you Victor? What’s you’re personality? Why are you even here? Next thing you know homies gonna break in your house singing “it’s gonna be me!” I don’t know guys, I think he likes Huey Lewis and the News. Bout to have his “Hey Paul!” Moment. But my sweet baby boy, what are you looking at? He’s not looking at Reginald, and he’s looking past Patrick. And again with the pocket thumbs, like you look like you forgot how to use your arms buddy. Relax a little.
Like nobody in this group looks like they want to be in this fucking group. I don’t believe they ever actually talk about anything. When they aren’t bullying the losers they just sit in silence in Belch’s truck while Madonna plays softly in the background. Then Patrick just fiddles with his knife, Henry runs his hands through his mullet 500 times. Belch is tapping his fingers, but trying to pretend like he’s not enjoying himself. And Vic, Vic even forgot he was there. You can’t tell me these boys don’t fuck, cause what else are they doing spending so much time together? 🧐
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Exhaustion
Warnings for mentions of sucidical thoughts, depression and anxiety, mental health stuff, dysphoria, neurodivergence, etc. And since I know some folk that know me are lurking, no worries, ain’t gonna hurt myself, but sometimes you need to say a few things to the void
Anyways.
Exhaustion, curious concept isn’t it?
Creeps in, steals your time. A few seconds here, a few minutes there, and then you’ve been laying in bed for hours awake and wondering why. It sucks I suppose, espically when you can’t sleep it off, but I guess that tells ya a thing about the types of exhaustion.
Physical, mental, and emotional
And I think I’ve hit every single one, this lovely fusion of the exhaustion of self. The wondering of why, the wondering of what else, the wondering of when does it stop being so damn tiring.
Because physical exhaustion can only be taken so far until you pass out, mental exhaustion can only be taken so far until you break, and emotional exhaustion can only be taken so far before you have a meltdown; but the exhaustion of self?
That’s a lovely new hell. Because even if you fall asleep, your dreams are strained and there’s too much in your head. So even when you wake up, you’re not rested. Because even when you’ve managed to treat yourself kindly for once, your body will ache and you feel like a fraud. Because even when you’ve managed to have a good cry, your face hurts and your nose runs and your mind yells at you.
Because sometimes I’m tired of myself. I’m tired of all the stupid trauma that doesn’t feel like it should be called that. I’m tired of all the stupid emotions I can’t properly express. I’m tired of not being able to do what I want.
It’s like, the bad ending to a good show. You think, oh hey, I’ve built all this. I’ve followed this plot, and I think I know how this ends! I had my major conflict and now I can be better! Right? But well. No one expects it to simply crumble in on itself, or maybe, I always did, and so that was the ending I wanted?
Who knows. I mean, how do I know anything is even under my control? Because that in itself is one sugar coated lie if I’ve ever heard of one. Because shit happens. And even when it seems logical and controllable, you can’t see all the consequences lining up.
But well… if there are consequences, doesn’t that mean the actions meant something? Doesn’t that mean there are things that are manageable?
I don’t know. It all spirals one way or another, looping in on itself without actually being worth a damn.
But fuck. I know people are watching me, observing to see what happens. People talk, and they talk behind your back, and sometimes they lie.
And lying? I never really got it. Like there’s the things of saying ‘Oh yeah, this is good.’ When that bread was too dry and it kinda tasted off but it was made caringly and you still appreciated the effort. There’s the stupid ‘I didn’t do it!’ When we all know you did it. And then the silly ones of ‘I have no clue what you’re talking about’ when they can clearly see you hiding their shit behind your back as you try to crack down on the stupid, giddy grin on your face.
Then, there’s the lies that cut deep. I never got why we tell these ones, I don’t know why I should even make them. But these are the ones that hurt.
‘Of course you’re my friend.’ When they talked behind your back with sharp smiles and amused whispers.
‘That doesn’t matter to me.’ When you can feel their judgement like a hot blade, hearing them whisper how trans people are perverts or how the gays are infiltrating everything.
‘I care about you.’ When they only cared about what you could give them.
I never understood those. Maybe it’s because my mind is heavy enough with tracking the threads of woven lies held in the air and waiting to catch around my throat. Maybe it’s because I can’t stand to have people hide the fact that they’ve hurt me and thus I can’t stand to act like them. Maybe it’s because I find it foolish to pretend.
I always was one of those kids. The ones they talk about when they think you aren’t listening, the one parents stare at with those fucking frowns and sad eyes, the ones they tell you ‘oh. Yeah, well they’re just a little… special.’
I know what it means. I have known. I hate pretending like I don’t.
I hate it.
I hate a lot of things.
But I don’t like hating. But well. It seems everyone has to. We hate them because they’re not like us, I hate him because he’s a brat, they hate her because she’s a pervert. Etc etc etc
It’s just. Too much. And I’m so fucking tired.
I’m tired of people hiding behind sweet smiles and fake gestures. I’m tired of people hiding behind ‘I’m doing this for you.’ I’m tired of people deciding I can’t make my own decisions. I’m tired of being stared at and pulled apart. I hate that we actively tear apart the good things. I hate that we are all so paranoid and sad and lonely. I hate it.
I fucking just want to be happy.
But you know. Maybe if I give them an unexpected, horrible ending, it’d make them understand? It’s pretty easy, just a rope or pop the shot. And it’s scary how easy it is. I don’t want it to be that easy. It feels cheap. But sometimes cheap is the only way. But why?
Why does it all have to spiral and wind into each other and crush everything that was known and good and whole?
Why does it feel easier to be dead than to be alive? Why do people hurt each other so deeply? Why do people destroy the world so readily? Why is it all so selfish and cruel?
Why does it hurt so fucking much?
Why does it make me feel bad to acknowledge that it hurts? That I’ve been hurt? That others have been hurt?
Why do I feel guilt for not being able to do enough? Why do I feel guilty for not having the power to do more? Why do I feel guilty for not wanting to live enough?
Why does it all just fall through my fingers like sand pouring down that fucking hourglass?
I just. Am tired.
Everything hurts. My heart hurts, my head hurts, my soul hurts.
And yet. I can’t quite give up just yet, can I? I always was a stubborn bitch I suppose.
And now to let it all fade back into my mind.
And pretend I’m fine once more.
Exhaustion.
How funny.
#mental stuff#mental health#mental illness#exhaustion#tw vent#vent#sorta rant#rant#rambles#i am tired
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wangxian fic rec list!
aka in which i read fics, write some recs down for aamna and share them!! they're all wangxian fics and uhh @yibobibo i hope you'll like them!!
modern
wolf devours playboy bunny by @greenteafiend (5K, werewolf!lwj, getting together, idk if anyone needs to know that but there's nudity just not uhh explicit)
Lan Zhan has wanted Wei Ying as long as he has known him, and the worst part is that he thinks Wei Ying could want him back.
Too bad he could never in good conscience let himself go there—Wei Ying has a debilitating fear of all things canine, and once a month, Lan Zhan is the exact, precise thing that Wei Ying’s nightmares are made of.
Aka, Lan Zhan is a werewolf.
between the lines by @jywait (19K gaming au!!!, i'm always down for a good gaming au, lwj is the best aksks he's such a good boy)
☆yilingpatriarch☆: pls...give me some face, help me fight these monsters...I'm gonna die
Bluetooth: no.
"You have died." The screen said, and Wei Wuxian threw his hands up in frustration.
resonant frequencies by chinxe (15K, college au, fake dating au, tw mention of cheating but it's brief and no one was cheated on i promise)
In which Wei Wuxian decides that the best way to deal with being in love with Lan Wangji is to pretend to date him for three weeks.
It goes about as well as can be expected.
drift compatible by windoworwhatever (5K, poetry, fluff, drunkji, getting together, college au)
"It was just a fact of life. The sky was blue, university stipends for graduate students working in TA positions barely covered rent, bisexuals cuffed their jeans, Lan Wangji had a massive crush on Wei Wuxian, and spent his time pining and writing research papers about gay subtexts in ancient poetry."
OR
Lan Wangji is in love with Wei Wuxian, and everybody knows, except Wei Wuxian.
the bunny next door by detailsinthefabric (43K, this is mostly fluff and very light angst, and they were neighbors!!!, rabbits!!, aka wangxian's bunny children, this is... so cute i just have to rec it)
Lan Wangji did not know what he was doing. He did not know what he was going to say. He was frozen in place, puzzling over the situation. Maybe he had made the man uncomfortable, which is why he wanted to leave? But his tone had still been so friendly—maybe…
“Would…” he paused, swallowed, forced the last words to come out of his suddenly parched mouth, “would you let me pet him?”
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Lan Wangji, who doesn't know how to socialize and whose icy demeanor scares everyone away, lets down all his defenses when he meets the bunny next door...oh, and also its owner, Wei Wuxian.
leading tone by silencemostofall (32K, everyone is a music student? or something like that akskk, curse fic, tw panic attacks, tw child abuse, small scene of drunkji, wwx has low self esteem, bro this was so painful to read)
The first time you touch someone you're fated to love, you leave a mark on their skin. If they will love you in return, they'll mark you where you touched them. The deeper the color, the deeper the connection.
Wei Ying has no marks at all.
public places, private thoughts by leahelisabeth (for the love of camelot) ( 8K, cherry magic au, getting together with like... immediate upgrade to fiance status, the author is wrong i crave good wangxian cherry magic aus even tho i haven't even watched cherry magic)
Wei Wuxian had heard the story of course. It had made its rounds through his high school and followed him into his college days. He didn’t think there was any possibility it was true. Virginity was a social construct, invented by creepy old men to exercise dominance over women. The idea that a simple lack of sexual activity before the age of thirty could give one magical powers was absolutely ludicrous.
Wei Wuxian believed this until the morning of his thirtieth birthday.
AKA the Wangxian Cherry Magic AU that absolutely nobody asked for.
i'd be all right (if i could see you) by @thirtysixsavefiles (16K, this was nice, i read this at 6am but it was cute, (while writing this post i must admit i don't remember anything but 6am-me said it's good))
The younger Lan brother is something of an enigma on campus; while Lan Xichen can sometimes be seen in the company of other graduate students or conducting a seminar, Lan Wangji appears to spend all his time in class or in the library. He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t attend social events. He doesn’t do anything for fun, as far as Wei Wuxian can tell, and it’s driving Wei Wuxian just a little bit up the wall.
Or, Wei Wuxian convinces Lan Wangji to come to a house party, and then they're assigned to the same group project. Wei Wuxian tries his best, but he is not in possession of all the facts.
axe on leg by itszero (4K, i still don't get why wwx did that but it was nice seeing him jealous for once, jealous!wwx, lwj i love you....)
Wei Wuxian pressed his face into his pillow and screamed. He paused to take a few deep breaths, partially hindered by the pillow, and listened to the sounds of Nie Huaisang slurping his iced coffee, from his seat on Wei Wuxian's desk chair.
Having caught his breath, he resumed his screaming and did not stop at the sound of his dorm room door opening.
"What's wrong with him?" He heard his brother, Jiang Cheng, ask.
The slurping stopped. "He's an idiot."
"He's always been an idiot. Why is he bothered about it now?"
"He forced Lan Wangji to go on a date," Nie Huaisang replied, shaking the ice cubes in his drink.
"Okay and…?"
"With someone else." The slurping resumed.
Wei Wuxian, in all his glorious dumbassery, convinces his boyfriend to go on a date with someone else.
these two most powerful by @stiltonbasket (4K, amnesia, wangxian with children!!!, aksksk this was adorable, dadji!!)
When Lan Wangji went to bed last night, he was alone in a tiny guest room with nothing but the howling of the wind in the mountains and his own lonely thoughts for company.
But when he opened his eyes in the morning, Wei Ying was asleep beside him.
(In which Lan Wangji loses twenty years' worth of memories after a night-hunt gone wrong, and his life as a doting father and husband continues without a hitch somehow.)
good things come to those who wait [but i ain't in a patient phase] by @cerlunas (4K, getting together, pining lwj)
Lan Wangji can't take it anymore.
“I love you”, he says, and god, it feels terrifying. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”
“Lan Zhan…” Wei Wuxian starts, but Lan Wangji doesn’t want to hear it.
He grabs his cup and drinks everything. He doesn’t know what face Wei Wuxian is making at him right now, and it’s okay.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian repeats louder, but it’s too late. He is already falling asleep.
Or, even after 13 years, Lan Wangji is still in love with his best friend. Maybe it's time to open up.
wei ying, will you marry m- oh my god he swallowed the ring! by selene210 (2K, marriage proposals, crack, marriage proposals but.. they go wrong)
“A ring?”
And indeed it was. The ring Lan Wangji was going to propose to Wei Ying with. That the man had now choked on.
“You swallowed it.”
“It was in my soufflé! Why did you put a ring in my soufflé Lan Zhan- oh. oh”
of glittery valentine's cards by @soft-fics (3K, valentine's day, this was adorable aksk, a-yuan best boy!!)
Lan Zhan didn't want to know what his best friend had planned for Valentine's Day; his heart would simply not be able to handle it. When his son tells him that he made Wei Ying a Valentine's Day card, though, Lan Zhan decided to bring it over anyway.
of coffee and white tea by @soft-fics (9K, fluff, lwj doesn't like coffee, wwx buys him coffee, then they switch drinks, again and again and again, the staff ships it lmao, tbh jc shouldn't have done that like wtf)
For the fourth time this week a stranger orders him a cup of coffee. Lan Wangji wonders how exactly to tell this man to stop ordering him coffee he doesn't even like. Turns out, buying the other white tea and switching drinks is not the best way to go about it
canon setting
on the importance of restraint (or lack thereof) by nixthothou (4K, in which sizhui snaps, i love that boy, no like seriously he's the best boy)
Lan Sizhui does not usually find himself in the company of Sect Leader Jiang.
Suffice to say, Lan Sizhui's feelings toward him are conflicted.
lan wangji is wei wuxian's baby by lilycs (3K, i was craving fluff while reading this, lwj my beloved, drunk!lwj)
Lan Wangji gets drunk from barely a cup of alcohol, becoming a whiny baby and asking his husband for cuddles.
one of our own by glitteringmoonlight (8K, wei wuxian & lan sect, 5+1 things, in which they learn to love him, they're all part of the wwx protection squad lead by lwj, wangxian isn't the focus but !!! THIS)
Times change, but some people remain the same.
The Lans are nothing, if not aware of this.
For one of their own, they will stand against the world.
Or, 5 times the Lans defended Wei Wuxian, and the 1 time he was there to see it happen.
so why not crack your skull when the mind swells by @greenteafiend (13K, love curse, post cql canon, curses, getting together, fluff, so much fluff, lwj tries to talk about his emotions!, lwj pov)
Lan Wangji detects the curse trying to curl through his heart meridians like smoke. A love curse, then. It must have been cast remotely somehow to have found him in his bed in Cloud Recesses. No matter. Lan Wangji crushes it easily, enveloping it in his spiritual energy, and then squeezing. Curse averted, Lan Wangji closes his eyes and goes back to sleep. He thinks no more of it.
Two days later, Wei Wuxian arrives in Cloud Recesses.
Or, Wei Wuxian is cursed to feel terrible pain when he and Lan Wangji aren’t touching.
i started from the bottom / now i'm rich by x_los (57K, time travel, fix it, jealous lwj, crack treated serious, god this is so good tho, wwx/wrh & wwx/jgs but like as a joke and it doesn't really happen, but it has its purpose!!)
“First, you get the money. Then you get the power, respect - hos come last.”
Wen Qing traps Wei Wuxian in the Demon Slaughtering Cave, but Wei Wuxian isn’t interested in being the beneficiary of the Wen Remnants’ noble sacrifice. His efforts to free himself accidentally send him back to the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. Coreless but armed with demonic cultivation, knowledge of the future and his wits, Wei Wuxian takes advantage of this opportunity to come out on top of both the war and its aftermath—before either has a chance to happen—by marrying and swiftly burying the cultivation world’s worst men.
Lan Wangji is confused, hurt, and uncomfortably aroused by Wei Wuxian’s improbably elaborate series of Sect-themed bridal negligees.
lead me on through by mrsronweasley (55K, they're in love your honor, arranged marriage but they don't know to whom, basically wwx & lwj want to practice kissing which then goes beyond kissing but not the whole way y'know, lxc the best wingman tho)
"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.
"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.
"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."
#wei wuxian#lan wangji#the untamed#wangxian#mdzs#cql fic#mdzs fic#mo dao zu shi#lan zhan#wei ying#lan xichen#wangxian fics#wangxian fic#fic recs#mdzs fics#jiang yanli#lan sizhui#jiang cheng#lan qiren#lan sect#aamna tag#the possibility of this showing up in the tags is like 1% bcs there are so many links and y'know how that is
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Yeah She Bad Ain’t She
Why would I wanna keep her to myself
Dabi x Reader x Hawks
Wrote this in Hawks’ POV bc try new things. Enjoy! Also got inspired by some audios on gwa lol but what’s new.
Voyeurism, exhibitionism, public, threesome, mutual masturbation, one (1) gay joke, they/them pronouns for reader, afab tho
WC: 1794
Masterlist | Requests? open
The first time you step into the dingy bar of the LOV, you scrunch your nose at the smell. Cough into your fist, and scan the room with careful eyes. You see Tomura Shigaraki nursing a whiskey at the bar, Kurogiri behind it, Spinner chatting up Twice. Dabi is laid back on the couch, his arm slung around someone you don’t recognize.
“Hawks, our newest member!” Shigaraki says to the team. “Give him every hospitality.”
“Hey-yo!” you say, saluting leisurely as a greeting. Shigaraki introduces everyone, as if you don’t already know who everyone is. Except one person, the one cozied up to Dabi. They introduce themselves as [Y/N]. Someone you’ll have to research on later before you report back to the commission, which makes you sigh silently.
“Come sit! You’re in luck because tonight is movie night!” Twice says.
“Just tonight?” you ask, watching the rest of the members find seats around the small TV.
“Every Thursday!”
“What are we watching tonight?”
“Catch Me If You Can! About that American con artist,” [Y/N] says. “Pass me that blanket, would you?”
“Sounds interesting. And sure,” you say, tossing the Christmas themed blanket at them. You watch as they fluff it out on themselves and Dabi. You push over one of those lounge chairs and flop onto it. Shigaraki queues up Netflix and hits the play button.
About thirty minutes in, you hear [Y/N]. “Dabi, stop,” they whisper, smacking him on the arm lightly.
“What, I’m not doing anything at all.”
“Don’t act all innocent.” Out of your peripheral vision, you swear you see Dabi’s hand move under the blanket, [Y/N]’s hand gripping his forearm.
“But don’t I make you feel good, baby?”
“Don’t ask stupid questions. The problem is everyone is here.”
“Not like we haven’t done something like this before,” he scoffs. “Look, we even got an audience.”
Your face flushes as you listen to their conversation. You barely hear a low groan from [Y/N]’s lips.
“Can y’all shut the fuck up? I’m trying to see what Frank’s gonna do!” Shigaraki fumes, whipping around. A look at Dabi. “Oh.”
“C’mon, boss, don’t pay attention to us, watch the movie,” [Y/N] says.
“This is free entertainment right here.”
[Y/N]’s hips jolt upwards. “You perv.”
“More moaning my name, less talking,” Dabi growls, ripping the blanket off [Y/N]. [Y/N]’s wearing a yellow sundress, that by now, is hitched up above their hips. Their panties are pushed to the side, showing their glistening sex. Dabi’s middle finger and ring finger disappear inside of them, his palm pressing against the clit roughly as he fingers them.
“I-Is this a normal occurrence?” you stutter, face turning the same color as your wings.
“P-pretty normal, yeah, oh, Dabi, right there!” [Y/N] trails off, grinding up for more friction.
“What can we say, we like to have fun here.”
By now, the other league members have turned around, movie be damned.
“How are y’all so casual about this?!”
“Don’t be like that, you’re having a good time too, bird brain,” Dabi smirks, eyes drifting to your growing erection.
“Shut the fuck up,” you snap. But he’s not wrong, both of them have got you so enamored. You hear the squelch and squeaks, the quickening of breaths.
“Dabi, I need you, need your cock,” you barely hear them whisper.
“Of course, doll. Lay down,” Dabi smiles softly, planting a kiss on their lips.
You don’t know if you’d rather be him or [Y/N].
[Y/N] slips down, horizontal on the couch. You eye Dabi as he stands straighter, nimble fingers unclasping his belt and pulling his cock out. It shimmers slightly in the TV light. He drags his cock along their folds, gathering wetness. He taps it against them. Without warning, he slams into them, both letting out a guttural sound at the sensation. His pace is slow, he’s gripping [Y/N]’s hips as a smack smack smack rings out as their bodies meet.
Somewhere behind you, you hear a zipper unzipping. You’re tempted to too, but would that be too soon? Must be, since this is basically your first official day here.
But you don’t deny how good [Y/N] looks taking Dabi’s cock. Hair splayed out, breasts moving under that sundress. You want to rip the dress off of them. Tt hold, knead at the flesh, and lick at the pert nipple. Your eyes travel down their body, where [Y/N] takes him in so nicely. How would they taste, you wonder.
And what about Dabi? Just the size of him could choke you out.
Dabi’s voice snaps you out of your reverie. “C’mon, man, if you’re just gonna stare at them, why don’t you play?”
“Nothin’ wrong with lookin,’” you trail off.
You so want to. Badly.
“Hawwwwkkks,” [Y/N] moans. “Let me taste you. Taste me. Whatever.”
“You heard them,” Dabi drawls.
One beat, and suddenly you’re up, fast as lightning. “[Y/N], let me take your dress off.”
“Okay,” [Y/N] lifts their arms as you pull the dress up over their head, revealing the tantalizing and smooth skin. You toss the dress somewhere to the side of you and rip off your gloves. You kneel beside them on the floor, slotting your mouth against theirs in an open mouthed kiss. Your hands sneak up, massaging their breasts and pinching the nipples.
You feel [Y/N]’s hand snake down your chest, and whimper as their hand grips your clothed cock. You pull away to bring it out. The tip is flushed red, a bead of precum forming at the slit. You stroke your hand down once, and move so your hips are flush with [Y/N]’s face.
“Nice dick,” [Y/N] and Dabi mutter at the same time.
“Jinx!” [Y/N] barks a laugh that soon turns into a moan at a particularly hard thrust.
[Y/N]’s tongue slides on the underside of your cock, massaging the vein there. Soon enough, it’s enveloped in their mouth and you fight to suppress a moan.
“Your mouth feels so good, baby.” [Y/N] hums, taking you in deeper. Their nose nuzzles the hair at the base of your dick slightly. They barely have to do any work as Dabi basically pushes them forward with each thrust. Dabi looks up at you with lazy eyes.
“Kiss me,” you plead, leaning in.
“That’s gay,” he says as he captures your lips with his.
You’ve never kissed a man before. He tastes like old cigarettes and mint. Your tongue slides against his teeth, and finally meets his tongue.
He’s got a tongue piercing.
How many piercings does this dude even have?
You jerk away without warning as [Y/N] does a particularly hard suck.
“Wanna feel their pussy?”
“I couldn’t.”
“Just because you’re new I’ll
let you.” Is this a trick?
You so want to.
[Y/N] pops off of you. “Dabs likes watching.”
“Does that even count since I’m also partaking?”
“I think so. Just get over here, I need your fat cock in my mouth. Not that yours wasn’t also good, Hawks. Just needs to be somewhere else,” [Y/N] says.
“Do it!” you hear.
Damn. You’re so wrapped up in these two, you forgot there was an audience. However, it seems that was the push you needed. You give the a-okay. Dabi nods, clearly pleased by your decision, and pulls out.
You trade places, [Y/N]’s hole flexing against nothing. You bring two fingers down to swipe at the wetness and run your tongue along the digits. You guide your cock in, letting out a satisfied moan at the warmth. [Y/N] squeezes your cock deliciously, and you almost want to come right then and there. You tell them so.
Your pace isn’t as brutal as Dabi’s but still elicits those sounds you're beginning to love out of [Y/N]’s mouth. A sick part of you hopes you’re better than Dabi, and that they will leave him for you.
Or maybe they’ll let you in again? How often do they do this sort of stuff, you wonder to yourself.
[Y/N] and Dabi are holding hands sweetly, their fingers brushing against his charred skin rhythmically.
Your hand moves to rub tight circles on their clit and you're squeezed impossibly tighter as a response.
“You gonna come, [Y/N]?” Dabi asks. “Getting sloppy there. Don’t bite, baby.”
“I’m so close,” [Y/N]’s voice dips off info nothingness at the end, mouth agape. They throw their head back as they move their hips against yours when your body meets theirs. “I want both of you to come inside of me.”
“Wasn’t gonna do it anywhere else,” Dabi chuckles.
“You want me to?” you ask.
“Yeah, fill me up good, Hawks.”
You glance at Dabi. He shrugs. Hope he doesn’t kill you for this.
“Oh shit,” you curse, feeling [Y/N] spasm around you and shudder.
You think Dabi comes at the same time you do. You slow to a languid pace, letting [Y/N]’s walls milk you.
“Good job, doll face,” you watch him lean down and peck [Y/N] on the forehead. “You too, bird brain.”
“Uh, thanks.” You pull out of [Y/N], and they wince at the loss. You tuck yourself back into your pants and [Y/N] wraps the blanket around their shoulders.
“Good show!” Twice says.
“Now let’s finish the movie,” Shigaraki huffs out.
“You have such a one track mind, Shiggy,” [Y/N] says, ruffling his hair.
“I’m just really invested.”
“Yeah, you were invested in us, too,” they say, looking down briefly.
“Oh shut up.” You catch a glimpse of his cock as he scurried to shove it back in his pants.
“See ya round, Hawks,” [Y/N] says, blowing you a kiss. They take Dabi’s hand in theirs and walk up the stairs at the back of the bar.
“Probably gonna fuck some more,” Spinner snickers.
You’re lucky your mic on the inside of your jacket just happened to die before you got up to some frisky business. This has got to be the weirdest thing you’ve been a part of: League of Villains just fuck as bonding activity.
Maybe you’ll keep this one to yourself. You wonder if they would ever invite you again.
#bnha#fanfic#fanfiction#x reader#dabi x reader#dabi x hawks#dabi x reader x hawks#lemon#smut#dabi x you#hawks x you#bnha dabi#bnha hawks#my writing
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BnHA Chapter 311: Hand Gun
Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “thinkin’ about dropping in some woke analogies of the very real and very presently relevant issue of racial profiling idk what do you guys think” and then shrugged and did it without waiting for an answer, and ngl it was a bit sudden, but I’m here for it. All Might was all “DEKU YOU NEED TO EAT” and Deku was all “OKAY” and took his hero bento and went to go stand dramatically on a tower in the rain whilst having some highly anticipated Vestige flashbacks. OFA II was all, “sup, I guess I’m not Kacchan... OR AM I,” and ngl I think he is?? Alternate universes anybody?? Hello??? But anyway, so OFA the First a.k.a. Yoichi was all “remember that time you guys rescued me from my evil brother and Two took my hand and we Had A Moment?”, and Two and Three were all “ahh yeah good times”, and it was very nice and very, very gay. The chapter ended with it being very unclear if Two and Three have actually lent their power to Deku yet or not lmao. Y’all need to get your shit together dudes.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “what if I gave a random bad guy a fucking tommy gun that shoots nails” and jesus christ calm down son. The Hawksquad, a.k.a. SQUAWK as per @hotchocolatier, are all “time to drive aimlessly around town acting like Deku has a restraining order on us because that’s literally the best plan to combat the League we could come up with,” and I have no further comment. Hawks is all “idk about you guys but I want to know more about AFO and Tomura’s whole deal” and I can’t remember the last time I identified so strongly with one of these characters. All Might is all, “[EXPLODES???]”, and the chapter ends with that mysterious hot girl from the Tartarus breakout being all “HELLO I CAN TURN INTO A GUN AND I LITERALLY DON’T GIVE A FUCK” and (1) WOW, and (2) IT’S TRUE, SHE CAN, AND SHE REALLY DOESN’T. GODDAMN.
(ETA: so this wholly escaped my notice on the first go, and also has nothing to do with the chapter itself, but I only just realized that this chapter was scanlated by a new group, TCB Scans. they actually did a very good job, and I’m curious if they’ve found a new RAW provider, because the quality this week is actually crazy good in comparison to what we’ve been dealing with for the past few months. I’m gonna have to get caught up on what exactly happened here lol.)
so what will it be this week? more Vestige antics? more of Sad Nomad Deku standing on buildings and pretending like he’s some cool aloof antihero, as if he could fool us when we all know his hero backpack is secretly stuffed full with his nerd diaries and the remnants of all the hero bentos that All Might keeps giving him?? or, just putting it out there, just a crazy thought, but you don’t suppose we might actually cut back to U.A.? mmm. side-eyes emoji
maaaaaan I’m starting to get tired of this trend of beginning chapters by dropping in on random power-tripping civilians and/or Shindou lol. just once can we get a chapter that opens with someone I actually give a fuck about
oh at least Endeavor is here
A WHAT SUPPORT ITEM!??! HOLY SHIT DDLKJSLFKJL
lol somehow that’s more terrifying than bullets for me?? like I’m fully aware that bullets will fuck you up way worse and that in real life nail guns probably don’t work like this AT ALL and only have a range of like... hold up let me just google... up to 100 to 150 m/s and distances of up to 500m wait WHAT
okay wait. hold up. like I was expecting google to tell me nail guns only shoot a few feet at most, and instead the first search result is some CDC blog article that’s “dispelling” the “””myth””” -- please note my repeated sarcastic quotation marks -- that nail guns can fire 1400 feet per second, by explaining that actually they can fire anywhere from 315 ft/sec to 1,295 ft/sec, and that “it is in the pneumatic nail gun user’s best interest to handle these tools as if they were a firearm despite having a lower velocity” dlkjdslkjflkl
SO THAT SCENE IN IRON MAN 3 WHERE TONY RAIDS A HOME DEPOT AND BUYS A BUNCH OF RANDOM TOOLS AND SHIT AND GOES ON TO STAGE A ONE-MAN INVASION OF AN INTERNATIONAL TERRORIST’S FLORIDA MANSION HQ IS ACTUALLY TRUE. YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT THE FILM “HOME ALONE” IS ACTUALLY A DOCUMENTARY. “the Discovery Channel television program “Mythbusters” compared the penetration capacity of an airborne projectile shot from a pneumatic framing nail gun to that of a 9mm hand gun” HELLO YES AND A MERRY “WHAT THE FUCK” TO YOU AS WELL
anyway, so. there’s apparently a reason why the Number One hero, who can burn people with the intensity of a sun going supernova, is hiding here behind this concrete support column making frowny faces. nope. nuh uh. he ain’t about that. I don’t blame you buddy
so now he’s barrel rolling out of his hiding place and setting this dude THE FUCK ON FIRE because HELL NO. BAD ENOUGH I HAD TO WATCH THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM EPISODE LAST WEEK! YOU TAKE THAT SHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE
LOL look at his face
I know the context is actually him being all “I know I’m responsible for basically everything that happened and so that’s why I’m so grim and serious about this mission to set things right piece by piece,” but in my mind this pissed-off face is 100% all because this dude tried to shoot his eye out with a nail gun. look at that. you made him go full flame face again. beard and all. protecting his face so that it can hopefully melt any stray nails that get too close. nope nope nope
good lord. so what’s up next. let me guess the guy fighting Best Jeanist has like an atomic chainsaw or some shit
lol nope we’re just cutting back to Hawks and Jeanist chilling in the Jesla after they’ve wrapped things up
Jeanist has got some serious Groot energy you guys jesus christ he’s like 12 feet tall
oh snap someone threw a pipe at him now
today is just the chapter of Endeavor being assaulted by random DIY tools I guess
I mean, I get why they’re pissed at him obviously; I would be too lol. but tbh I also don’t really understand the “get out of here we don’t want your help” attitude that all of these people suddenly seem to have?? like it if were me, I would be fucking DEMANDING for him and the other heroes to be working round the clock to fix their stupid mess. I mean who else is gonna do it?? it’s their mess, I sure don’t want to be the one to clean it up instead. anyways but whatever lol
oh shit?
so they haven’t dropped the whole “OFA secret potentially gets revealed to the world” thing yet after all. that makes sense I suppose, it did seem like that whole thing wound up playing out a bit too easily
anyway so yeah
the locals are definitely none too happy. well at least Dabi’s got something to be cheerful about I guess
so now we’re cutting to the interior of the Jesla and they’re chitchatting about the current investigation
oh wow this actually makes a bit of sense now. so there was a reason they were keeping their distance from Deku
please note that even in this abstract Endeavor’s-Mental-Image-Of-Him panel, Deku’s eyes still don’t have the light in them anymore :( my poor son
also ftr I still think using Deku as bait in this particular sense is the shittiest idea ever ngl. like sure, let’s let the sixteen-year-old run around battling miscellaneous escaped prison convicts while we stay several kilometers away ON PURPOSE despite the fact that you’re using him as bait to draw out the Big Bad, who just a reminder can destroy anything with a mere touch and who you were all basically helpless against. what exactly are you all planning to do if Tomura or one of the other League VIPs actually shows up to retrieve him?? are you even keeping tabs on him at all in real time?? jesus
(ETA: well that escalated quickly lol.)
Horikoshi is all of a sudden dropping whole pages of exposition here and I can’t be bothered to summarize this lol so just,
a big fat YES to what Jeanist said, though. that’s why imo they would have been better off laying a trap at U.A. rather than just wandering around out in the open. I assume they’re trying to cut their potential losses because U.A. is full of students (and civilians), but those students also happen to be more capable than pretty much anyone else in the manga at this point. and tbh they’re already in life-threatening danger regardless of how things play out from here on, so they might as well at least try to use the few advantages they have right now. U.A. is almost certainly going to come under siege at some point anyway, so they might as well prepare for it
lol I don’t think I’m explaining this very well because I don’t have the patience right now to break it down point by point like it really ought to be, so for now I’ll just say that imo “U.A. siege” stands a good chance of being the eventual endgame even now, and so this whole “Deku runs around being bait” arc is really just killing time until then lol. like and subscribe for more rambling nonsensical takes such as this. maybe next time I’ll even put it all into one single sentence for maximum meandering senior citizen rant value
well it’s nice that they’re finally talking about all of this I guess
we readers have known all of this for months now but this confirms the heroes are finally caught up. ALSO, Hawks is so fucking smart, as always. kinda wonder if things would have played out differently if All Might had let him in on the secret a bit earlier. probably that’s why Horikoshi made damn sure they didn’t find out until after the War arc lol
OH MY GOD YOOOOOO HAWKS OUT HERE ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS
“anyone else wondering why AFO bothered to raise Tomura as his fake heir for fifteen years when he was secretly planning on taking over his body the whole time” YES, [raises hand] lmao Hawks where the hell were you when I was debating this “AFO is the final villain and Tomura is just his pawn” thing on multiple occasions over the past several years lol
lmao seeing them debate the metaphysics of OFA and all of its mystical bullshit is seriously surreal you guys
JEANIST HAVE YOU CHECKED OUT MY META TAG I HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY ESSAYS. I ACTUALLY WAS PLANNING ON WRITING ANOTHER ESSAY ABOUT THE THING THAT I’M PRETTY SURE HAWKS IS ABOUT TO BRING UP, BUT I NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT WHOOPS, BUT MAYBE I WILL NOW LOL LET’S SEE HOW IT GOES
yes!!
WHICH AFO FUCKING ENSURED HE WOULD BE BY LITERALLY PLANNING OUT EVERY LAST DETAIL OF HIS FAMILY TRAGEDY, FROM SECRETLY GIVING TENKO THE QUIRK TO MAKING SURE NO CIVILIANS OR HEROES WOULD HELP HIM UNTIL AFO FINALLY STEPPED IN. I’M 1000% CONVINCED THIS IS THE CASE YOU GUYS. NOT JUST BECAUSE I’M NOT A FAN OF “THE WORLD IS A FUNDAMENTALLY SHITTY PLACE, ACTUALLY” TAKES BECAUSE MISTER ROGERS TOLD ME TO ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE HELPERS, BUT ALSO BECAUSE IT LITERALLY JUST DOESN’T MAKE A LICK OF SENSE OTHERWISE. THEIR ENTIRE HOUSE CAVED IN FFS, YOU’RE TELLING ME NONE OF THE NEIGHBORS FUCKING OVERHEARD THAT SHIT AND WENT “UMMMMMMMMM” AND WENT TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON?? “DIDN’T THERE USED TO BE A HOUSE HERE, AND LIKE A WHOLE FAMILY, AND SHIT?”
LIKE I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S ONE THING TO SAY IT’S REALISTIC THAT NOT A SINGLE PERSON WOULD ATTEMPT TO HELP THE WANDERING TRAUMATIZED CHILD AFTERWARDS (WHICH I DISAGREE WITH AS WELL BUT AT LEAST THAT’S MORE SUBJECTIVE), AND IT’S A WHOLE OTHER THING TO ARGUE THAT IT’S REALISTIC THAT NO ONE WOULD BE FUCKING NOSY. LIKE THAT’S A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL OF “THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS” ENTIRELY LOL. anyway tl;dr AFO is a piece of shit and Tomura’s entire worldview is based on a magnificently intricate and savagely cruel lie more at 11
anyway so after all that ranting it looks like that wasn’t even what Hawks was talking about after all lol. I just went off for absolutely no reason lol oh well. instead it seems that Hawks is suggesting that Tomura’s carefully cultivated hatred might not yet have actually reached “can defeat OFA” levels even after all of that trauma. interesting!
don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here while my brain furiously scrambles to put together all the parallels between Hawks and Tomura that it never noticed before until exactly this second. like I’m not even sure that was the intent here at all (I need to check out another translation or two lol), but regardless my mind decided that now would be the perfect time to make the connection between these two twenty-somethings who both had horrific childhoods and spent years being molded by their respective manipulative guardians, and developed eerily similar “laugh at everything because what else can you do” coping mechanisms to deal with it all hmmmmm
anyway so they were talking more about their strategy, but now all of a sudden Jeanist’s phone is beeping??
AND NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO ALL MIGHT AND HIS MIGHTMOBILE DAMMIT so that means the call to Jeanist was actually something important then!! WAS IT BAKUGOU OMG. DOES YOUR INTERN WANT A WORD FFFKLFSJK please it’s been so long I just need a little crumb or two to tide me over lmao have mercy
anyway so All Might’s following the GPS tracking device he’s apparently got planted on Deku (which in my conspiracy headcanons he’s actually had for a long time now, like since before DvK2 lol because HOW ELSE WOULD HAVE HAVE KNOWN THAT THEY WERE FIGHTING EACH OTHER IN GROUND BETA, PEOPLE) and thinking angsty thoughts about Deku’s sucky life
AND NOW ALL MIGHT’S PHONE IS RINGING TOO?? BAKUGOU HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU CALLING. “WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THE NERD GODDAMMIT”
OMG
lol is he under attack or is he just finally giving All Might the slip like we all know he SECRETLY PLANNED TO ALL ALONG oh my poor dumb angstmuffin
OMG AHHHHHHH WHAT
DID ALL MIGHT JUST FUCKING DIE LMAO NO OF COURSE NOT, BUT WHAT
WHAT IS HAPPENING OMG
THE FUCK IS THAT. AT LEAST IT’S NOT A NAIL
OH IT’S A SPEAKER!! OMG DID THEY TAKE ALL MIGHT HOSTAGE
“THEY’RE HERE” WELP, TIME TO SEE JUST HOW SHITTY THIS SHITTY PLAN REALLY IS LOL
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SHE!!!!
omg. AND OVERHAUL JUST CHILLING THERE IN THE BACKGROUND ALL “WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO DO I’VE GOT NO FUCKING ARMS” YEAH GOOD RIDDANCE LOL
DOES THIS GIRL HAVE ONE GIANT LEG OR WHAT, LIKE WHAT’S THE DEAL HERE
-- HOLD UP WAIT, THE GUN IS HER ARM, HOLY SHIT SHE CAN TURN INTO A GUN -- OKAY HOLD UP BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY THAT IN BIGGER TEXT BECAUSE !!!!
YOU GUYS, THE COOL TARTARUS GIRL IS BACK AND HER QUIRK IS “CAN TURN INTO A FUCKING GUN.” THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! MY BEST GIRL MT. GUN IS FINALLY BACK ON THE SCENE WITH HER QUIRK “CAN DO ANYTHING A GUN CAN DO.” “I HEARD Y’ALL WENT AND NAMED ONE OF YOUR HEROES ‘GUNHEAD’ EVEN THOUGH HIS HEAD ISN’T EVEN A GUN, LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT’S DONE” DANG OKAY
lmao only fifteen pages this week, and STILL NO KACCHAN (THEN WHO WAS PHONE!!!), but man I don’t even care because finally we’ve got a cliffhanger that’s actually deserving of being a cliffhanger! hot dog. okay then
#bnha 311#endeavor#hawks (bnha)#takami keigo#shigaraki tomura#best jeanist#all might#midoriya izuku#cool tartarus gun transforming girl#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha
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"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 2*
Part 1
Part 3
Y'all IDK what it is about this story but I can just write and write and write. This one ended up being 11 pages [on a google doc] And I only stopped because it's 2:15 am.
I hope you guys like this, but I just want to clarify: This isn't a Barisi fic. I'm sorry, if you're looking for that, just...this isn't it. I mean they do interact and it'll be fun, but they will not be ending up together.
That being said, enjoy this new chapter! I'm debating on how pathetic enamored Sonny is, I don't think I'm gonna go that deep. No worries, people.
As always let me know if you want to be added/deleted off the tag list!! <3
Tag List
@madamsnape921
@lolliepopsicle
@chasingeverybreakingwave
@milkshqke
@wanniiieeee
@word-scribbless
@gibbs274
@sassyada
@aprildecker-blog
@bookishfanfic
@stars-in-the-skies-world
@stars-trash-18
@omgsuperstarg
@objection-argumentative
-------
"Y/N, I'm so happy for you and Barba. You make the cutest couple," Sonny beamed at you while you were wrapped in Rafael's arms, huge smiles on all of your faces.
"Thank you Sonny, that means so much." You gave him a warm hug.
"Yeah….and you'll make the cutest couple in HELL!" All of a sudden Sonny pushed both you and Rafael off a cliff.
You were falling to your death when you woke up to your professor glaring at you.
"Have a nice nap, Miss Y/N?" He scowled at you.
"Um," You cleared your throat and straightened up at your desk. "Yes sir,"
"Good," he huffed as he headed to the front of the classroom once more. "Maybe now we can continue without your snoring,"
You heard the students around you snicker at his comments as You sunk lower into your desk and waited for class to end. It had been a long train ride home and then a drive to your apartment last night, you hadn't gotten home until around 2 am and had this 8 am class. As soon as the professor dismissed your class you booked it out of the class and out into the parking lot of your community college.
"Ugh, could this day get any--" before you could even finish your thought you got your answer. Your phone beeped with a text from Rafael:
RAFA: Hey killer, how's the bullshit county? 😉
That was the nice thing, then just as you were about to text him back your phone lit up.
SONNY BOI CALLING
"Shit!" You hissed to no one. "How does he know?!"
"Ahem….Heyyy, cuz," You answered it with your best nonchalant voice. That of course sounded totally chalant.
"Hey sunshine," His voice sounded relaxed, thank God.
"What's up?" You tried keeping your tone light as you neared your car.
"Well y'know I was just thinkin, I feel real bad about standing you up last night,"
"Oh, Son it's no big deal really," the fact that he felt guilty about anything made you feel even more guilty.
"No, I know you have a busy schedule and it takes a lot to get into the City and I just blew you off," He kept on with the guilt train.
"You didn't blow me off Son you had work. I get that--" You unlocked your car and got in, starting it so your windows would thaw. And your whole body.
"Well I wanna make it up to you," He cut you off.
"Oh?" your voice fell short. This couldn't be good.
"Yeah, my boss-- well he's not really My boss but Mr. Barba--"
Oh shit. Barba? Was Barba having a party? Why wouldn't He tell you that? Wait why WOULD he tell you that? Stupid. Wait, what was Sonny saying?
".... birthday, so you could be like my date," you caught the tail end of his invite.
"Birthday?" You repeated like a parrot. It was Barba's birthday? Oh god. You were really trying not to focus on how old he was. Don't ask. For the love of god don't say it Sonny.
"Yeah don't worry you don't need to get him anything, I got it covered," Sonny assured you.
Well, that was one way you could figure out just how much your cousin cared about his "idol". The more expensive the gift, the stronger the feelings were. You wondered whether you should ask him now or wait for the surprise. Maybe you should ask now, then his answer should tell you what you'd be getting into.
*So what did you get this 'non boss' of yours?" You asked slyly.
"Oh," now Sonny's voice dropped. "Well I, I don't wanna say,"
Fuck.
Don't panic. Do not panic.
"Oh come on Sonny," you did your best to keep a joking tone. "What am I gonna do, tell him?"
Should you joke about it? Hidden in plain sight, right?
"No I guess not, it's not like you know him,"
Whew.
"It's just kinda embarrassing…."
Oh god.
"O-Oh?" You tried to stay calm. "Why's that? Is it a gag gift?"
Please be a gag gift.
"Actually it's a new briefcase," He replied.
"Oh why is that embarrassing you goof?” You gave him a hard time. What was that in the emotional baggage department? Pun intended.
"I mean, it's more expensive than the one I own," You could hear the shrug in his voice.
Fuck. Don't ask why. Don't ask. But if you don't ask, that will be even more suspicious wouldn't it?
"Oh Son," You asked softly. "Why would you do that?"
"Well the one he has is as old as dirt, I think it's probably the first one he ever bought. I wanted him to look snazzy in court." He replied with a super eager tone.
"That's sweet," you were pounding your steering wheel in frustration. Say it.
"Seems like a lot of work for a mentor though," You closed your eyes mentally killing yourself.
"Yeah well," he laughed uncomfortably.
Say it.
"Sonny…” You didn’t want to do this.
“Yeah?” He was oblivious.
“You know you can always talk to me,”
“Yeah of course,” He assured you.
“About anything,” You scrunched your nose.
“Yeah I know, sunshine,” He half laughed.
“ANYTHING,” You reiterated
There was a long awkward pause.
“...Sonny?” You made sure he hadn’t hung up on you.
“Yeah, I'm here,” He replied softly.
“So?” You waited for the bomb to drop.
So…. He sighed. "I just want him to like me,"
Dammit.
"....Yeah," You nodded, cursing yourself.
"Yeah, its stupid. I'm stupid." He laughed again.
“You're not stupid,” you laid your head on the steering wheel in shame.” I mean the heart wants what it wants right?”
“What?! Oh my god, Y/N,” He scoffed. “I'm not gay,”
“….Sonny it's 2021,” you shook your head. “Sexuality is a spectrum,”
Right well. He laughed defensively. "I'm on the p in the v scale,"
“Ugh, Sonny,” you made a face.
“Sorry sunshine,” He apologized. “I just...why would you even think that?!”
“Uh…” You paused.
Maybe he wasn't fully aware that he had romantic feelings for Rafael. If you started pointing out the signs, he might realize it. But then you'd have a cousin going through gay panic AND then finding out it doesn't matter anyway.
"No reason," You lied.
"I just want him to like him so he'll give me a good recommendation once I graduate Fordham Law,"
"Oh" you smacked your head. "Duh. Right. Of course,"
That was completely legitimate. Maybe you had been misreading this whole thing. Now you just had the whole overprotective Gotti side of Sonny to worry about.
"Well I guess I could spend the weekend in the city," You shrugged as you pulled out of the parking lot.
“Absolutely!” He exclaimed. “My couch is always open,”
Not exactly where you were thinking of sleeping, but you weren't blowing your cover over the phone. Wait, maybe you should. Then he couldn't kill you over the phone. Wait, he's presumably at work right now. You didn't know how closely he worked with Barba, but you figured it would be a hell of a lot easier for Sonny to get to him before you could stop him from killing Rafael.
"Sure sounds good. I'll see you then cuz,” You smiled and hung up the phone.
------
Friday arrived, and you once again found yourself standing outside Forlini's. You debated heavily whether to go in or not, but you told yourself you were going to wait for Sonny outside this time, no more risking a sexy bar rendezvous.
You hadn’t really responded to Rafael’s texts the last few days, and you certainly didn’t tell him you were coming. Maybe you should have told him. You grabbed your phone to text him when you heard a familiar voice behind you:
“Y/N?”
You spun around to see Rafael dressed to the 9’s, smiling at you. He smelled delicious, mixed with the food aroma wafting out of the restaurant and the smell of freshly fallen snow in New York City.
“...Happy Birthday, Counselor,” You bit your lip nervously.
“W-What are you doing here?” He stared at you as if he thought he was dreaming.
“Sonny invited me,” You nervously smiled.
“Seriously?” He laughed.
“Seriously,” You nodded with a laugh as well.
“Did-- did you say anything to him?” He asked you worriedly.
“Are you insane?!” You hit him. “No!”
“So why did he invite you here?” He asked.
“He said it was to make up for ditching me the other night,” You shrugged.
“...The irony,” He smirked.
“Mmm,” You nodded with an amused smile.
“Well this is a very happy birthday indeed,” He smiled, pulling you closer into his coat similar to the night you had met.
“....Just don’t ask which one it is,” He warned you while staring at your lips deviously.
“Deal,” You nodded in agreement before he pulled you into a hungry kiss.
“DUDE!!” You snapped back before his lips were on yours for more than a millisecond. “Are you nuts?! Sonny’s gonna be here any second!”
“It’s my birthday, carino,” He made a pouty face. “Don’t yell at me,”
“Oh lord,” You rolled your eyes. “Alright, man child,”
He was about to go for another sneaky kiss when you both heard a voice from behind you.
“....Sunshine?”
“Oh!” You jumped ten feet away from Rafael when you turned to see Sonny standing there with a huge gift bag, staring slack jawed at the two of you. “Sonny! I um, we--”
“I was teaching your cousin a lesson in New York safety,” Rafael talked over you, his face completely stone. God he was a good liar.
“Excuse me, counselor?” Sonny raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. You just stared in speechlessness.
“She was standing on this curb holding her bag out for any miscreant on these streets to just wrestle away from her, I was just demonstrating how,” He gestured to your open purse.
“Barba I really think this ain’t that kinda neighborhood,” Sonny half laughed.
“...You never know,” Rafael shrugged. “Now let’s all get inside, I’m sure everyone is anxious to start celebrating me,”
You and Sonny both rolled your eyes with smiles; too similar of smiles, you noticed. Thankfully, he did not. You both followed Rafael back to a private room where a bunch of fancy dressed people were mingling with drinks in their hands while two long empty tables stood in the middle of the room. They all stopped and clapped when Rafael walked in.
“Oh, for me?” He feigned surprise and humility.
“Yeah right Barba,” A woman laughed sarcastically. “You’re the one who invited us here,”
“Touche, Rita,” Rafael smirked as he began making the rounds around the table greeting everyone.
“So are we allowed to eat now, I’m starving,” An older man asked.
“And I’ve got a son waiting,” A red headed woman chimed in.
“Right, right,” Rafael nodded as people began to take seats. “Sorry everyone, you know I love to make a dramatic entrance,”
“Oh trust me we know, Barba,” Another man called. “Your catwalks into the courtroom prove that. I think we have a montage of them,”
“Ha Ha,” Rafael rolled his eyes, then turned to you and Sonny.
“Sonny,” He put a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you sit next to me?”
“R-Really, counselor?” You saw Sonny’s eyes light up like Christmas tree lights.
Fuck. You knew he was only asking him so that you would sit next to him as well. And while you loved the idea, you knew how much this was toying with Sonny’s feelings.
“A-Are you sure, about that Mr. Barba?” You gave him a look.
“Absolutely, Miss-- I didn’t catch your name?” He played it so cool.
“Y/N,” You held out your hand as you re-introduced yourself.
“Right, well--” He shook your hand then turned his attention to Sonny who was still beaming like a kid on Christmas. “I don’t know how much Carisi has told you, but he is quite the promising mentee of mine,”
“....R-Really, Rafael?” Sonny blinked in disbelief, causing Rafael’s smile to falter for a moment. Sonny had never called him “Rafael” before, it was always “Barba”. Shit, maybe he had given him too much praise.
“I mean, you know, for a lap dog,” He quickly added with a snarky tone and a smirk.
“Mr. Barba!” You tried not to raise your voice at the birthday boy. “That is my cousin you’re talking ab---”
“No, no it’s fine Y/N-- th-that’s how we work isn’t it, counselor? He just gives me jabs, I know he doesn’t mean it,” Sonny laughed nervously, staring at the floor. He knew not to get too comfortable with Barba, why did he even try it?
“Indeed,” Rafael nodded in agreement. “But, I still request you sit by me-- at least I know you don't poison my food. Which is more than I can say for many of my esteemed ‘guests’,” He eyed the tables of people before him.
“Then why invite them to your party?” You quirked an eyebrow.
“I get that Jersey doesn’t have the social classes of Manhattan, Miss Y/N,” He smirked. “But here, you’ve got to do things to keep up appearances,”
“Oh do you?” You practically growled.
“Yes,” He nodded while a waiter brought him a glass of scotch. “Even if you don’t like someone, if they serve a purpose for you than you do what you must to keep in their good graces,”
“Oh is that so? So you’re only kind to people who can ‘serve’ you?” You crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him.
What kind of Danny Zuko bullshit was this?! This was an entirely different Rafael Barba you had met the other night. He was kind, flirty, endearing. This new Barba was snarky and condescending, and you were not amused at all.
“Y/N, chill,” Sonny hissed at you. “This is just how Barba is, he’s harmless,”
“Yeah well you might not mind being his doormat Sonny, but I sure as hell won’t be,” You angrily stomped off.
“Oh my god,” Sonny muttered, wondering if he should run after you or not. “Barba, I am so so sorry about her,”
“It’s fine, Carisi,” He watched you stomping away, trying to hide the guilt in his voice. He was just trying his best to throw Sonny off the trail. He may have overcompensated just a tad.
“I-I should go check on her, She’s just a kid--”
“No, allow me,” Rafael put a hand to Sonny’s chest. “It was my faux paux, I should apologize to her myself. I was being a bit of an ass,”
“Yeah but that’s just you, Barba,” Sonny chuckled, trying not to blush at Rafael’s hand on his chest.
“True, but I forget not everyone knows me as well as you do, Carisi,” And now he was trying to be extra nice to Sonny to get on his good side, while cluelessly egging on his feelings.
“That is very true,” Sonny laughed even more nervously. “I’ll uh, I’ll take a seat and get our drinks ordered,”
“Excellent,” Rafael smiled at him, probably one of five times in the entire time they’d known each other. He gave Sonny one more pat on the back before walking after where you had stomped off to.
He found you right before you hit the front door, his hand catching yours before it could grab the handle. You turned and scoffed at him, your scowl still present after stomping off.
“Oh, come to appease me, counselor? How can I be of service to you?” You snapped.
“Please, Y/N,” He gave you apologetic eyes as he pulled you closer to him. “I’m sorry, I just-- I didn’t want Carisi to think anything was off. He already caught us being handsy, I had to make it look like we disliked each other,” He explained.
“Oh I think you’ve done that above and beyond, jackass,” You huffed. “First I’m too stupid to not get robbed in the city, and then I’m too uncultured to understand ‘high society’ manipulative bullshit?”
“I’m sorry, I may have gone a little over--” He started.
“But that wasn’t even an act, was it?” You interjected angrily.
“What do you mean?” He asked you curiously.
“Your line of you having ‘use’ of a person? I assume that is why you have a room full of powerful people you dislike as opposed to a room full of sycophants?” Yeah, you might just go to community college but you knew big words too.
“I mean, that is how it works--”
“Jesus Christ,” You shook your head with a laugh. “You know I understood for about half a second why my cousin is so infatuated by you, but I am losing that belief real quick,” You turned and started to walk away again.
“Y/N come on,” He grabbed both of your arms this time and pulled you close into him, your noses almost touching.
“Look I’m-- I’m sorry, that I’m---this,” He gestured to himself.
“But that’s just how I have to be in their world,” He gestured back towards the room. “I’m telling you, it’s a room full of sharks. If I show weakness or misstep in decorum, I’m nothing but chum to those people,”
“The guy you met the other night, that’s the real me,” He put a hand to your cheek. “I never get to be that guy, not in public. That’s why I was so attracted to you,” He put his other hand on your waist.
“I don’t have to be ‘Rafael Barba, the snarky ADA with a silver tongue,’ I can just be…’Rafa’,” He gave you an earnestly sad smile.
“I’m sorry,” You blinked in confusion. “I know I’m not helping myself but what exactly is the ‘ADA’?”
Your question brought that familiar amused grin and a laugh. “See, this is what I’m talking about,”
“Oh yeah I know, the ignorant girl you can placate--”
“No,” He put a finger on your lips. “The earnest, normal, gorgeous girl,” He kissed your forehead. “I’m sure if we took a poll in here right now the majority of the room would be with you, not knowing what an ADA is,”
“Which still doesn’t answer the question,” You pointed out.
“I…” He tried to think of a way to explain his role in the Manhattan judicial system. “Well, the DA of the county is like-- the King of Lawyers in that section. Or queen, as my boss is Rita,” He shook his head with a laugh. Oh Rita Calhoun, the stories he could tell about her.
“So, you’re her king?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Eh, I’d say Prince but she’d probably say Jester if she heard this metaphor to be honest with you,”
“Mmm I like that,” You finally let yourself smile at him.
“A Prince?” He grinned.
“The Jester,” You gave him a tongued smile, settling against his chest.
“Well, I’ll gladly take that title if it makes you happy,” He kissed your forehead. “I’d do anything to make you happy right now,”
You looked into his green eyes, they were now their usual sparkling green hue, and you remembered very quickly how you had gotten yourself in this mess in the first place. He really was a sweet, charming, gorgeous guy. And then you remembered those were probably all the reasons Sonny fell for him too.
“Ahem.” You straightened up and stepped out of his grasp. “Well, what would make me happy right now is getting back to my cousin,”
“Oh,” Rafael’s eyes softened into a sad gaze.
“Rafael, I think he really likes you,” You bit your lip with guilt. “And you toying with him just now isn’t helping!”
“Toying with him?” Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion? “I wasn’t toying with--”
“Sit by me, Carisi? You’re important to me, Carisi?” You imitated his questions in a mocking tone.
“I had to ask him that so you would--” He started to explain, but you already knew.
“I know!” You stopped him. “I know, that’s why it’s so fucked!” You put your hands over your face.
“Carino…” Rafael walked over and pulled your hands from your face and held them.
“I’m hurting him every second that I stand here with you, and I--” You bit your lip trying not to cry. “I’m still doing it! I can’t walk away!”
“So don’t,” He squeezed your hands with an even sadder look.
“This is just--” You broke free from his grasp once again and wiped your eyelids. “We need to get back before Sonny comes after you,”
“....So where does this conversation leave us, then?” He asked you cautiously.
“I don’t…” You gazed into his puppy dog emerald eyes. “I don’t know, I don’t want to think about it right now, okay?”
“Fair enough,” He put his hands down in concession. “...But we really need to--”
“Yeah, I know,” You nodded softly as you walked back to the private room, Rafael trailing behind you.
All you could think on the way back was how in God’s name were you going to make it through the rest of the night.
#rafael barba#rafael barba x you#rafael barba x reader#rafael barba fanfiction#rafael barba imagine'#sonny carisi#law and order svu#weird secret friends
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I love all those sentence prompts you just posted.😂 But I feel like the most appropriate one is probably:
“So why did I have to punch that guy?”
Thank you Arrow!! 💗
Ridiculous Sentence Prompts: "So why did I have to punch that guy?"
--
There were only a few things left in the world that made Mickey really, really angry.
The first was their property manager, Melanie, and her stupid-ass dog with its stupid, stupid diaper.
The second was the fact that a single can of beer cost four times more on the West Side than it did back in their old neighborhood. What special brand of bullshit were these crunchy granola hippies trying to churn out at the Wine, Etc. store, anyway?
The third thing, and probably the only one that would stick around after he adjusted to his new life above the poverty line, was any time that anyone disrespected, hurt, or even mildly annoyed his husband.
Every time they dealt with an irritating client or an overzealous new employee, Mickey would clench his teeth and fight the urge to knock them on their ass. One hit was all it would take, he knew that for certain. He'd taken down Ian's exes, family members, hell, even Ian himself on a few occasions, with a single punch to the throat.
Now, he was an adult, a business owner, a husband and partner that needed to play by society's rules if they were ever going to crawl out of the gutter completely.
The very idea made Mickey's teeth ache.
He bit his bottom lip while they sat side-by-side in their booth at the Alibi, waiting for some schmuck to meet them for an interview.
"We need to start interviewing the guys we hire, Mickey," Ian had said one night while cooking dinner. He chopped the carrots and celery on the wooden cutting board while Mickey sat slumped on the couch, nursing a beer and watching a TikTok Mandy had sent him earlier that day.
He looked up at his husband as he watched an orange and white cat chow down on kibble after his automatic feeder malfunctioned.
Mandy 🌻 (6:09pm): plz tell ian this is him in cat form
Mickey snorted at his phone, barely registering Ian's comment.
"Mick?" Ian tried again, and Mickey looked up from his phone.
"Hmm?" he replied through a mouthful of beer.
"I said we need to start interviewing the guys we hire," Ian said again, using the knife to scrape the carrots and celery off of the cutting board and into the giant pot he had boiling on the stove. Mickey wasn't sure what he was making, but it smelled amazing.
"What for? Those resumé things ain't good enough for you?" Mickey's mouth quirked up on the side as he tried to hide a smirk.
Ian rolled his eyes and used the comically oversized wooden spoon to stir his soup.
"No, Mick. So we don't have another Connor situation."
Mickey snorted. Connor was a dipshit they'd hired back in April to help with pickups, a dipshit that had cost the company almost $2,500 after he "forgot" to make the deposit with Ian and Mickey at the end of his scheduled route.
"I mean, his name's Connor. Kinda feel like you should've known what you were walkin' in to with that one."
"I'm serious," Ian said. "Interviews. We gotta do 'em." He stirred the soup vigorously, the spoon clanking against the side of the pot with every twist.
Mickey sighed deeply and rolled his eyes.
"Fine, we'll interview some new guys. But we're not doing it at a Starbucks or some shit. I'm not ready to go full West Side." He scrunched up his nose and made a face, to which Ian just chuckled.
"Glad you're on board," he teased, getting back to work on his soup, which had started to bubble.
--
Kev and Vee had moved to Louisville a month before, transferring ownership of the bar to Carl and Officer Tipping, who promised to keep everything just as it was. It gave Mickey a sense of calm knowing that even as the rest of his old neighborhood was slipping away, his adolescent stomping grounds now littered with coffee shops and yoga studios, some things remained the same.
He ran his fingers along the familiar crack in the table, a sharp sensation prodding the pads of his fingertips and helping him forget, even temporarily, what they were there to do.
Ian smacked the back of Mickey's hand gently.
"Stop it," he said, referring to the way Mickey was two seconds away from giving himself a splinter.
Mickey huffed and rolled his eyes.
"What's this guy's name again?"
Ian looked at his phone where he had an email pulled up. He glanced over the message then scrolled to the bottom.
"Derek," he said plainly.
"Derek," Mickey mocked, and Ian whacked him in the chest with the back of his hand.
"Knock it off," he said, and Mickey rolled his eyes again.
"Whatever. He's late anyway, let's just bail and go get some pizza."
"He's not late, Mickey. It's only..." he looked at his watch. "3:58. He's got three minutes until he's late."
Just then, as if summoned by Ian's voice, a tall, lanky, blond man walked through the front door of the bar and made his way towards the back corner booth where Ian and Mickey sat.
"You guys Ian and Mackie?"
Ian snorted as he tried to hide his laughter. Mickey rolled his eyes a third time, this time so hard that it was honestly impressive he didn't snap his optic nerves in the process.
"Mickey," Ian corrected politely. He nudged his husband with his elbow and the two of them climbed out of the booth to meet with their interviewee.
Ian shook his hand firmly.
"I'm Ian, and this is my husband Mickey." He smiled and turned to Mickey, who was standing with his hands in his pockets and giving Derek, all six feet two inches of him, an intense once-over. Elbowing his husband for a second time, Mickey relented, pulling his hands from his pockets and reaching out to shake Derek's hand. His giant palm was cold and clammy but also somehow uncomfortably hot. Mickey grimaced.
"Hey," he said gruffly. "Mickey."
"Derek," the other man said as they shook hands. "So you two are married?"
Ian nodded.
"Little over a year now, yeah."
Derek nodded.
"Cool, cool, cool," he said, nodding and looking around. "So this place is...interesting."
The judgmental and condescending way Derek said "interesting" wasn't new or unusual to either of them, but tall lanky blond bitches with North Side energy and a terrible fade saying "interesting" like they wanted to say "disgusting" made Mickey's blood boil.
He clenched his fist without even realizing what he was doing. Ian noticed immediately when Mickey's shoulders tensed up, stiffening in a way that reminded Ian of a startled cat, and he turned to climb back in the booth. He squeezed Mickey's arm once, twice, and dragged him down into the booth with him.
"It was a family friend's place," Ian said, nonchalant, eager to move the conversation away from the Alibi and towards their business. "So, Derek, on your resume, I see that you worked--"
Derek cut Ian off mid-sentence.
"Have they ever thought about turning this place into some sort of art installation or something? Just with the open floor plan and the exposed pipes, it's very pseudo-industrial-chic."
If they hadn't already assumed before by his distinct vocal fry and the smell of coconut hair gel, Derek's use of the term "pseudo-industrial-chic" solidified what the other two already knew: there were three gay motherfuckers in this booth.
Ian stuttered for a second, surprised by Derek's interjection and resistance to changing the subject.
"Don't think so, no." He grabbed his phone and opened up the Gmail app again. "So, anyway, your resume says you worked at--"
"You know what would be really cool in here? A movement class. I went to one in LA once that was hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow and it was liberating."
Mickey snorted and Ian elbowed him in the ribs.
"I bet it was," Ian said, unamused at Derek's refusal to talk about his work history. "So you worked at--"
"Have you guys ever been to LA? Oh my god, it's the best. So chic. I mean, I'm from Evanston originally, so basically anything is chic in comparison. I mean, not here, obviously, but you know. Other places."
Ian sighed.
"Totally," he said. "So, your work history, it says--"
"Hey, do you guys know what the best dispensary is around here? Preferably something upscale, with those iPads you can order on. I need a few new carts--"
"Dude," Mickey cut in. "Can you shut the fuck up for five seconds?"
Derek looked surprised, and Mickey could hear Ian's sharp, apprehensive inhale.
"Excuse me?" Derek said, holding his hand to his chest.
"He's been trying to ask you the same question since we sat down, and you won't shut the fuck up about chic cities and weed, so if you could just answer our questions, that would be great." He looked over at Ian, whose eyes were wide and hesitant, unsure about how things were about to unfold.
"You're very rude," Derek said to Mickey, giving him a scowl.
Mickey snorted.
"Yeah, tell me something I don't know."
Derek's eyes narrowed and his forehead wrinkled up, agitated.
"You should be nicer to the people you want to hire." He crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child.
Mickey laughed out loud.
"Dude, who says we wanna hire you? I'm pretty sure if you worked for us, I'd blow my brains out in the first two minutes."
Ian tried and failed miserably to conceal his laughter, covering his mouth with his hand and looking down at the table. Mickey leaned over towards his husband.
"I kinda wanna punch this guy in the mouth," he mumbled, and Ian side-eyed him from where he sat beside him.
"Please don't," he replied in a whisper before composing himself and turning back to Derek.
"Look, Derek, you seem like a nice guy, but I don't think this is gonna work out." He held out his hand to signal that the interview was over, but Derek didn't return his handshake. Instead, he pouted like a toddler that had just been scolded for bad behavior.
"Your husband's a dick," Derek said to Ian, and Mickey could literally feel Ian's body stiffen next to him.
"Hey," Mickey said, putting his hand on Ian's knee. "Forget it. Let's go get pizza."
"No," Ian said sternly, turning back to Derek. "Listen, dude, you're also kind of a dick, so why don't we just call this a wash and you can go track down your carts or whatever."
Mickey bit his lip, fighting a smile. He secretly loved when Ian got defensive, as long as it wasn't directed towards him.
"You're both dicks!" Derek said, slamming his hands down on the table. He slid out of the booth and stood up, and Mickey and Ian did the same. The three men stood there, Derek facing the husbands with a pissed-off expression.
"You should go," Ian said, pointing at the door.
Derek snorted.
"I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When the ad said South Side, I knew there was a good chance the owners were a couple of trashy, ghetto assholes. But him?" He pointed at Mickey. "He's a world-class dick."
Before Derek could say anything else, he was cut off by a fist to the jaw and dropped to the floor, unconscious.
The ambient chatter and loud clacking of billiard balls came to a halt as the regulars that sat scattered around the Alibi turned in unison to see what had happened. Once they identified the source of the loud "thud" as one of the Gallagher-Milkovich boys knocking out some blond giant, they immediately turned back to their various activities.
Just another day on the South Side.
Ian cupped his right fist in his left hand and turned to Mickey, bewildered.
"I just punched that guy, Mick," he said, genuinely surprised. "I knocked him out. Shit."
Mickey shrugged.
"He kinda deserved it."
Ian looked at Mickey with a really? sort of expression and shook his head back and forth.
"Still," he said, turning to look at Derek, sprawled out unconscious on the floor like a rag doll.
"C'mon man, it's fine. He'll come to, and when he does, we'll be long gone." He grabbed Ian's upper arm and gave him a tug, but Ian just sat back down in the booth.
"Why did I do that?" he asked, but Mickey knew he was talking only to himself. He sat down beside his husband, stepping over Derek's long ass leg on his way back to the booth.
"I mean, you kinda had to."
Ian looked over at Mickey, eyebrows raised. He stared at his husband for a moment, puzzling, before breaking into a smile.
"What?" Mickey asked, confused as to how Ian could go from having some sort of moral crisis over knocking out a hipster to grinning gleefully at his husband in a half second. Ian reached over and put his hand on Mickey's thigh. Immediately, the mood shifted. Pool cues squeaked as they were chalked up and glasses clinked on the countertops. The distinct chhh-chhh sound of a spray bottle punctured Mickey's ear drums as he looked down at his husband's hand on his thigh.
"So," Ian said, voice quieter than before. "Why did I have to punch that guy?"
Mickey smirked. He could be honest, and say the obvious reason, which was that Derek was a total douche canoe and deserved to be socked in the mouth by someone his own size. He could lie, and say it was because Derek seemed dangerous and Ian was just following his instincts, but that would have been the lie of the fucking century.
Instead, he said neither, and opted for something he knew would make Ian smile.
"Because you love me."
Ian's face broke into a full grin and he giggled, leaning over to kiss his husband once, quickly, well-aware of Mickey's hesitancy towards PDA when they were out and about on the South Side.
When he pulled back, he was smirking, and Mickey knew his cheeks were flushed. He hadn't been expecting the kiss, however brief it was, and his stomach felt a little fluttery.
"I mean, I'm not the kind of guy that just stands by and lets people talk shit about the man he loves." He grinned and Mickey rolled his eyes, remembering Ian telling him about the last words he'd said to Glittery Twink Byron the night they'd gotten engaged.
"You're a fuckin' sap, man."
"True," Ian said, standing up from the booth and stepping over Derek's leg as Mickey had done minutes before. He reached out his hand and pulled his husband from the booth. The two of them stood there momentarily, staring at Derek's lump of a body on the sticky, peanut-shell covered floor.
"Should we like, do something?" Mickey asked, kicking Derek's foot with his own boot. The man didn't move a muscle. Mickey wondered for a second if he might be dead, but the shallow rise and fall of the douche canoe's chest let him know that unfortunately, for all of humankind, the asshole was still alive.
Ian shook his head.
"Nah, he can sleep it off."
He reached down and took Mickey's hand in his own.
"C'mon," he said as he dragged them both towards the door. "Let's go get pizza."
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Human (Natasha Romanoff)
Human: Chapter 1
A/N: Troyes, France is 6 hours ahead of NYC so 7pm there is 1pm in NYC. For the sake of this fic we’re going to pretend that the Battle of New York lasted quite a few hours.
*This is my first ever fic and I wrote it at 3am so bear with me
WARNINGS: swearing; mentions of weapons; violence; panic attack; anxiety; my crappy writing; and I think that’s it (lmk if there’s anything I should add)
Barcelona, Spain; January, 2012:
The repetitive ticking of the clock registered in my brain before my eyes even opened. I didn’t need that clock to know what time it was, of course. It was 4:30 am— the same time I've woken up everyday for the past twenty-five years of my life. I no longer need to wake up this early, yet it’s a habit so deeply engrained in my framework that it’s seemingly unbreakable. I roll out of bed and make my way into the dingy kitchen with light footsteps. With some quick math I figured that I got barely two hours of sleep last night, but that’s more than usual. I started the coffee machine and asked with a sigh, “Would you like some coffee or are you just going to lurk in the corner?”
The leather-clad stranger with an eyepatch stepped up to the kitchen island opposite of me and responded, “I wouldn’t mind a cup. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that you knew I was here.”
“Well, you know what they say about old habits. You got a name?”
“You can call me Fury. We have a lot to talk about, Eight.” I slid him a mug of cheap coffee and gestured for him to take a seat.
“Then we’d better get started so you can get the hell out of my apartment.” He simply chuckled in response and I could already feel my patience wavering.
Two Hours Later:
“Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division? Really, dude?”
“Yeah, it’s a mouthful. Trust me I know.”
“I’m sorry that you came all this way for nothing, Fury, but there’s no way in hell I'm working for some government spy circus.”
“It’s technically an extra-governmental spy agency-“
“Doesn’t matter. I’m not joining,” I said, cutting him off.
“So, you’re just gonna hop from one shitty apartment to the next until you die? That doesn’t seem like a great life.”
“Better than the one I lived before.”
“You aren’t the person to live in hiding. You’re the person who thrives in the action and lives to kick ass, and we both know it.” When I didn’t respond he continued, “I’ll leave you my card. When you change your mind, which you will, you’ll know where to find me. You don’t have to be the bad guy anymore, Eight.” With that he slid off the stool and left my apartment, leaving me with nothing but my rapidly spiraling thoughts and a black business card.
Troyes, France; May, 2012:
It had been four months since Director Fury came to my apartment in Barcelona. We’d kept in contact and he hasn’t given up on me joining S.H.I.E.L.D.. I'm living in my third apartment since then. Wow…those landlords must really hate me. I was watching the seven o’clock news when I saw something that made me choke on my Cheerios. “An alien invasion?! What the fu-” My Cheerio-muffled exclamation was interrupted by the ring of my burner phone. “Hello?”
“Eight, you watched the news recently?”
“Uh yeah, I'm watching it now. You fighting aliens now, Nicky?”
“Okay first of all, I told you to stop calling me that. Second, yes… aliens. I’m forming a team of…extraordinary people to help protect against these threats and they could really use a hand to finish off this fight.”
“I may be weird as hell but I ain't ‘extraordinary’, Fury. I don’t wanna join your band of misfits.”
“Alright, how about a compromise? You fly your fancy jet here right now and help them out and if you still don’t wanna join once the battle is over, you can go right back to France and I’ll stop bothering you about joining.” After a few seconds of silence I agreed.
“Fine, but I’m not gonna change my mind. Wait, how do you know about my jet?”
He gave a hearty laugh and said “I know everything, Eight. You should know that by now.”
New York, New York; 96 Minutes Later:
I flew my jet into the city, making sure to take out a few flying Chitauri in the process. We don’t need to talk about how I got my hands on a German jet that can fly 2100mph. I saw a few interesting characters standing in a circle fighting off an endless sea of aliens. I maneuvered the jet and— wait…is that guy wearing blue tights? Is this what Fury meant by extraordinary? Whatever. I landed in the street about 20 yards away and killed the engines. I hopped out and started jogging towards the group. A couple of them turned around, probably wondering who the hell the chick in the black uniform is and— whoa that’s a beautiful woman. After realizing my steps had literally faltered in a mini gay panic, I slowed to a walk and said “Y’all need a hand?”
“Depends on whose hand it is,” replied the redheaded source of my panic.
“I’m a friend of Fury’s. He practically begged me to come save your asses.”
“Fury doesn’t beg,” she said in a doubtful tone.
“Not typically, but I'm just that awesome. If you don’t believe me then call him up but I’m gonna go kill some aliens.” With that I took off down another street where there was a group of the repulsive bastards. After unloading all of my magazines into Chitauri bodies, I switched to my swords and daggers. After another hour or so of fighting, there were no more aliens in sight. I started jogging toward the rich dude’s tower when I saw said rich dude falling through the rapidly-closing portal. I stopped next to Mr. Blue Tights and the buff blonde guy with the hammer when the big green dude grabbed Mr. Rich Dude from the sky and landed next to us. The green guy yelled, waking Mr. Rich Dude up with a start. “What the hell? What happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me. Except for her, she’s pretty hot,” he said nodding toward me. Just then the redhead jogged over to us and eyed my blood-soaked form from head to toe.
“See something you like, Red?”
“No. I’m pretty sure I'd be classified as a sadist if I liked the sight of that much blood,” she said with a raise of her eyebrow.
“Yeah that’s fair.” She shook her head at me with a small smirk. There was barely a second of silence when Mr. Rich Dude spoke up.
“Anybody want shawarma?”
Three Hours Later:
I had gone to the Triskelion after the band of misfits apprehended Loki. Agent Hill showed me where to park my jet and directed me to a room so I could shower and stay the night if I wanted to. I had put on black jeans, a white tee, and a black jean jacket, all of which had been in a to-go bag in my jet. I was toweling off my hair when someone knocked on the door. I opened the door to see none other than the one-eyed-wonder standing there. “What can I do for you, Nicky?”
“The Avengers are being debriefed in Conference Room 6B in ten minutes. You should come.”
“The Avengers? Is that what you’re calling them? That’s cute. But I'm not an Avenger and I don’t want to be an Avenger, so no thanks.”
“You should come anyway.”
“I don’t actually have a choice, do I?”
“You know me so well, Eight,” he said with an amused grin.
I walked into the conference room and the Avengers were already there. Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor, and Natasha Romanoff—whose names I learned from Hill— were scattered around a large table, along with Fury. Romanoff eyed me from where she was standing and arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me. I squinted my eyes and wiggled my eyebrows in response, and I could see her stifle a laugh. “What’s your name?” She accompanied the question with a blank expression, which made me feel oh-so-special.
“That’s a very personal question, Miss Romanoff. Let’s slow the pace, please.”
“You know my name but I can’t know yours? That doesn’t seem fair.”
“The world isn’t fair, Miss Romanoff, and I love a good mystery.”
“If you two are done flirting, we have business to attend to,” interjected Fury.
“Right, my apologies, Nicky.”
“Don’t call me that, Eight.”
After an excruciating 43 minutes and 27 seconds, Fury finally let us leave. I was so close to freedom when that unbelievably sexy voice called to me. “Eight!” Romanoff hastily walked towards me in an effort to catch up.
“Yeah?”
“Is your name actually Eight?”
“If you want it to be.”
“Why are you so damn stubborn?”
“It amuses me, Red.” There was a brief silence during which both of us were trying to figure out if the conversation was over.
I was about to leave when she continued, “So that’s it? You’re just gonna leave?”
“Well, no. I’m going to stay the night, steal some really expensive jet fuel, and then leave in the morning before Fury can get up my ass about joining his little team.”
She rolled her eyes and responded, “Why won’t you join the Avengers? And why won’t you tell me your real name?”
“It’s just not my style. I’d rather fly solo.”
“You ignored my second question.”
“Then maybe you should take the hint and stop asking.” With that I turned around and started walking away, but a hand on my arm stopped me dead in my tracks. Alarms started going off in my head, and I'm pretty sure Romanoff was saying something to me but I was too caught up in the memories of beatings, punishments, and psychological conditioning to register it. After a few of the longest seconds of my life, the white of my vision cleared up and the voice telling me ‘physical contact is strictly forbidden’ faded into the background. My heart was still hammering in my chest and I was trying to keep my breathing steady despite the inevitable panic attack trying to drag me under, I regained my neutral expression and said. “Sorry, did you say something?”
“Are you okay?” She had a concerned expression and if I wasn’t so blinded with anxiety, I would’ve appreciated how cute the furrow of her eyebrows was.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just gonna turn in. It’s been a long day.” I turned around and walked back to my temporary room at a brutal pace. As soon as the door closed behind me, hot tears raced down my cheeks and I lost the ability to breathe. It was gonna be a long night.
3:21 am:
I finally managed to calm myself down and stop the panic attack after almost four hours. Well, I passed out because I couldn’t breathe but it did calm me down. Trying to sleep would be pointless, so I decided to leave before anyone woke up. I didn’t really have much to pack so I grabbed my duffel bag and left the room. I made it to the corridor attached to the landing pads and ran into the one person I really didn’t want to see. “What are you doing out and about, Red?”
“I’ve got places to be and things to do. Were you just going to sneak out in the middle of the night like a teenager with a rebellious streak?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing, actually. Do you need a ride? Where are you going?”
“Madrid. Fury said I could hitch a ride on another plane that’s headed for Germany.”
“Well I’m going to France if you wanna ride with me. My jet will get you there a lot faster.” She studied me for what felt like way too long, probably debating if I would try to kill her or not. You know how spies are with their trust issues.
“What the hell, why not?”
And that is how I ended up in a jet with “Candy Shop” playing over the speakers and Natasha Romanoff in the copilot seat yelling at me to, and I quote, ‘slow the fuck down.’ “Why would I slow down, you psycho?! That’s the whole damn point of this thing!”
“Where did you even get a German jet this fast?”
“Germany.”
“No shit Sherlock. How did you get it?”
“I went to Germany, stopped in at the local speedy-jet dealership, and walked out with this beauty.”
“Sarcasm is a defense mechanism, you know? You’re only being like this to keep me from seeing the real you. You built walls. You want everyone to think you’re fine when in reality, you’re falling apart.”
“Okay…um…there was no need for that, Dr. Romanoff. I can find my own therapist, thank you very much. And don’t go pretending you’re all healthy in the head, Miss Assassin.” It was quiet for all of five seconds before we both burst into laughter.
Madrid, Spain:
I landed the jet at the local S.H.I.E.L.D. base and killed the engines. Romanoff and I removed our headsets and I stood to help her get her bags. “Welp, I’ll see you around I guess.” I really wasn’t good at this type of thing. Or any social interactions, really. Twenty-four years in a cell will do that to you.
“Will I? See you around, I mean?”
“Um, I don’t really know, honestly. I’m not part of S.H.I.E.L.D. so we won’t just run into each other or anything but…”
“Why won’t you join S.H.I.E.L.D.? I mean what else are you doing?”
“Ohhh, I see. You just love me so much that you don’t want me to leave. You’re gonna miss me so much-” I was cut off when she threw her backpack at my head. “Hey! You’re lucky I caught that! Freaking crazy woman.”
When our laughter died down she said, “Well I should probably go. Thank you for the ride.”
“Of course. Hitchhikers are always welcome aboard my beloved jet.” A small smile appeared on her face and she stepped forward to give me a hug but she must’ve seen my body go rigid because she stepped back. She might’ve said something but the voice in my head was too loud for me to understand her. I don’t know how long it was before I unfroze but when I did, she was gone. I walked to the front of the jet and started the journey to France.
#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff#black widow#black widow x reader#natasha romanoff angst#natasha romanoff fluff
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Lets talk about how these spotify songs confirm byler’s endgame.
Will’s songs
Don’t you forget about me: illustrates Will’s feelings after Mike says they won’t be together for the rest of their lives (but have to get gfs). Love’s “strange” (stranger things). And Will fears change will pull them apart- and as it rains he hopes Mike won’t forget about him/ and questions if Mike will ‘ever love him’. And Mike in the rain (instead of “walking on by?”) calls his name.
“Tell me your troubles and doubts.Giving me everything inside and out and Love’s strange so real in the dark. Think of the tender things that we were working on…Slow change may pull us apart.Don’t you, forget about me.Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t.Don’t you, forget about me.Will you stand above me?Look my way, never love me?Rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling.Down, down, down.Will you recognize me?Call my name or walk on by? rain keeps falling, rain keeps falling. “
“Don’t you try and pretend. It’s my feeling we’ll win in the end.I won’t harm you or touch your defenses-Vanity and security.Don’t you forget about meI’ll be alone, dancing you know it baby .Going to take you apart.I’ll put us back together at heart, baby Don’t you, forget about me.”
( Will physically took them ‘apart’ -from the photo. But in the end it’s also Mike who fears Will will forget about him too. And Will doesn’t harm Mike by picking at his insecurities - like lack of ‘security' in their relationship. But just says the truth that it’s “not possible” to replace him (after he moves). And of course deep down they know they’ll be together in the end. )
upsidedown: Just Will saying he loves Mike and he turns Will ‘insideout” (like the previous song) and “upsidedown”. And he loves him but he’s “crazy’ (cough ‘crazy together’) to think Mike is all his. But no matter what he’ll always love Mike.
“I said, “Upside down, you’re turning me.You’re giving love instinctively.Boy, you turn me inside out .And ‘round and 'round-Upside down…Instinctively, you give to me the love that I need.I cherish the moments with you… no one makes me feel like you do…I know you got charm and appeal.You always play the field.I’m crazy to think you’re all mine.As long as the sun continues to shine.There’s a place in my heart for you, that’s the bottom line.”
here i go again: Will saying he’s “not going to fall in love” ever (like he said in s3) cause he doesn’t want to waste time on Mike. But he keeps backpedalling on the idea and desiring to love Mike for ‘the rest of his days’. Like how Will said he thought they’d never get gfs but play games for the rest of their lives.
“ (verse 3)And here I go again on my own.Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known…Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone.And I’ve made up my mind.I ain’t wasting no more time . (verse 4)Just another heart in need of rescue- waiting on love’s sweet charity.I’m gonna hold on for the rest of my days'Cause I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams (verse 5) And here I go again on my own .Goin’ down the only road I’ve ever known.Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone.And I’ve made up my mind I ain’t wasting no more time.BUT here I go again.Here I go again.Here I go again.Ooh baby, ooh yeah.”
Take my breath away: This excerpt speaks for itself that byler is real/endgame after Will moves/s4 and 5. XD
Mike’s songs
Will’s canon Spotify playlist. He ALSO has the song “I’m still standing” by Elton John (who is gay)? Aka cause Mike has a ‘romantic comeback’ with Will XD
I’m still standing’ is a guy bragging about a breakup and now feeling like a kid -lol Mike saying he feels like a 7 y old after the breakup . And moving on -lol it’s mileven). The album is from “to be continued...” I MEAN, C’mon. That’s , very on the nose for s4 byler happening after mileven XD
‘Your blood, like winter, freezes just like ice” (when El broke up with Mike , “cold as ice” played).”I got a taste of love in a simple way.And if you need to know why I’m still standing.You just fade away.Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did?Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid.And I’m still standing after all this time.Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind.”
‘Baby I lied’, also reminds me of the byler fight where Mike insults Will/talks about El and then says to Will “ But, we’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, REALLY? That we’d never get girlfriends? Sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives?” Causing Will to storm off crying- thinking Mike doesn’t even imagine Will being there for the rest of his life (in favor of a girlfriend).And then Mike (although already knowing of his feelings for Will) realizing that it wasn’t a temporary crush/phase- but that he was in love with Will. And only realizing he can’t live without him when Will left. Making it sink it to Mike that he was lying to Will during their fight.
“Did I say that I’d be okay if you said good-bye? And did I promise you I could take it if we were through? And forget about these feelings inside? Baby I lied when I told you I could walk away .Baby I lied…And did I ever tell myself I could always find someone else? Did I say if you left today it’d be no surprise? Did I ever leave any doubt I could hold up if you walked out? I know I told you that I could survive. Baby I lied…And now that I can see you walking out of my life . Saying good-bye, I realize….”
also ‘Love is a battlefield’ (could be recontextualized/interpreted through a que*r lens given the time period-typical hom*phobia) . Love would be considered a ‘battlefield’. ( The song could be. about 2 people refusing to state their feelings/ holding back from doing anything romantic. Despite both people in the song secretly knowing the other secretly reciprocates mutual romantic feelings) . But they fear pursuing anything cause society says their love would be ‘wrong’. It also reminds me of s3 byler fight . Both ‘standing’ secretly in ‘heartache’. One character in the song(Mike) being mean to the singer who’s angry and wants to go home (Will). Then after that (Mike/song character) begs the singer (Will) to stay but then is mean to the singer again . So in response (Will/singer) gets annoyed and then asks ‘am I in your way? or am I the ‘best thing’ you have?(s2 byler ref). And the singer could internally question if they made a move on the Mike (/song character) would they be rejected? And like that singer ,Will, also throws Mike’s words in his face by saying he actually did think they’d be together for the rest of their lives without girlfriends (cause he may suspects Mike is full of shit?). The singer pretty much says-when it becomes impossible to ignore your romantic feelings for me - you’ll realize you’ll need me ! The song also emphasizes they’re “young” (kids) and Will/the singer questions if their love will get “old” , but quickly decides their love can’t get ‘old’ or die (despite Mike’s lies stating the contrary) * Also saying “no promises” could be a ref to show it’s the opposite of mileven who have the promise line.*Seems like the song is from Will’s pov.
“We are young.(Heartache to heartache) We stand.
No promises(No demands)…We are strong. No one can tell us we’re wrong. Searching our hearts for so long. Both of us knowing, love is a battlefield. You’re begging me to go. Then making me stay. Why do you hurt me so bad? It would help me to know : Do I stand in your way?Or am I the ‘best thing’ you have?When I’m losing control.Will you turn me away? And when all this gets old,will it still feel the same?There’s no way this will die. But if we get much closer.I could lose control.And if your heart surrenders-you’ll need me to hold.”
‘Kiss off’ could also be seen through a queer lens aka Mike trying to deny he’s gay but realizing at the end of s3 it’s not a phase. And hopefully learning to accept it in s4.
“I need someone, a person to talk to. Someone who’d care to love.
Could it be you?could it be you?Situation gets rough. Then I start to panic. It’s not enough!it’s just a habit! Hey, kid your sick. Well, darling this is it!
You can all just kiss off into the air!Behind my back I can see them stare.They’ll hurt me bad . But I won’t mind. They’ll hurt me bad, they do it all the time.”
El’s songs
The power of Love is the 1st song that shows El desire to learn about love despite it scaring her and not really understanding her relationship with Mike. (it’s a very heteronormative idea- “I’m your man /i’m your women” so we’ll fall in love). It also shows her more questionable behavior like spying on Mike. (The later songs illustrate mileven falling apart.)
“Even though there may be times it seems I'm far away.
Never wonder where I am'.Cause I am always by your side.'Cause I am your lady.And you are my man...We're heading for something.Somewhere I've never been.Sometimes I am frightened.But I'm ready to learn of the Power Of Love.”
(The second song)Another one bites the dust is about a dysfunctional romantic relationship.
Girls just want to have fun illustrates El’s annoyance with both Hopper controlling her, and Mike (like Hopper trying to control her) and keep her away from the outside world. And just preferring hanging out with Max and not having a romantic relationship.
“ (verse 2)My father yells, "What you gonna do with your life?".Oh daddy dear, you know you're still number one.But girls, they wanna have fun... (verse 4) Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world.I want to be the one to walks in the sun.Oh girls, they wanna have fun.Oh girls just wanna have.That's all they really want. Some fun.”
Don’t tell me lies - (El in s4) saying they’re whole relationship is a lie and she was ‘naive’ to think otherwise.But now she knows her Mike will be with someone else and their relationship was always based on a lie. And she’s ok on her own.
“Every move you made before was never meant for real.Over my naivety is this how I should feel?...they'll never ever be another one.Don't tell me lies.Don't tell me lies.Looking back I realize it's always been this way.We must note what has gone and never turn away...Broken loose from indecision.Now I'm alright on my own...I guess I'm alright on my own.”
I feel like i’ve talked the lying aspect to death but it’s an important element to their relationship.
Mike while apologizing to El at the grocery store never apologizes for lying -despite it being the cause of the breakup . He never apologized for lying cause the love is the lie- like Max said “boyfriends lie ALL THE TIME”. And it’s why the camera panned to Will when Lucas asked why Mike lied to her. And he never answers El’s question of ‘why do you lie?!’ (he just looks up silent and guilt ridden). In s2, Mike says “i never gave up on you (to El). “ When moments earlier he says to Max “it took her just like it took Bob.” HE’S LYING AGAIN . He thought she was d*ad.Plus he also fought with Hopper in s2 (’about El’) in Will’s room too. He wasn’t actually calling Hopper the liar he was calling himself “a stupid disgusting liar”out of self hate . That scene was foreshadowing his lying to El in s3 (about his feelings for her). He blamed Hopper for his feelings for Will cause he told himself it wouldn’t have escalated if El had been around to ‘fix him’ . “I BLAME YOU! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK! NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OK. YOU STUPID DISGUSTING liar, liar, liar, liar”.starts crying.
In s3, mike (in Will’s room) did not reciprocate El’s kiss/ or say ‘i love you ‘ back and had his eyes open while the same exact song plays that robin came out to: called ‘the first i love you’. These are the only times the song plays in s3. The ‘first i love you’ also sounds like ‘the first lie’ - that song played when jancy said they were just friends. it sounds the same cause jancy lied about it not being romantic while mileven lied by saying it was.
Ugh- why are the tags not working? I guess , please, reblog if the tags continue to act up or else no one will see this.XD
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fic request: protective!callum. Thats it. Thats the request <3
There’s a guy with a hand around Ben’s throat, gripping tight enough that he can get Ben’s back slammed against a wall and a finger pointed in his face. Ben’s wearing his usual cocky smirk, trying to act like he isn’t bothered despite the fact the guy is at least two heads taller than him.
“Oi” Callum shouts without thinking, pushing through a crowd to get over there. He grabs firm at the guy’s shoulder, trying to pull him off, but he’d probably have better luck with a brick wall. He doesn’t budge. “What d’ya think you’re doing?”
“Showing this geezer what happens when you try it on with my girl.”
“Your girl?” Callum repeats, pulling a face at Ben who looks like he’s about to start laughing now. Unbelievable. Ben manages to get into a lot of scrapes but this is just ridiculous.
“Yeah, offering to pay for her drink an' all.”
“It ain’t my fault she’s dating a cheapskate,” Ben bites back, and Callum has to stop himself from letting out a groan.
“Ben.”
“You watch your mouth,” the guy yells, slamming Ben against the wall again, and that’s all the excuse Callum needs. He’s not sure he understands the term ‘seeing red’ but he comes pretty close. He rips the guy off Ben furiously, and pushes him away.
The guy stumbles. “You fu - ”
“He ain’t interested in your girlfriend, mate,” Callum growls, standing between him and Ben and straightening his shoulders.
“What d’you know?”
“I know because he slept in my bed last night.”
The guy blinks, seemingly torn between his shock and his deep seated need to make a comment about that. Callum goes in close to give him a little push, to hopefully shut him up and send him on his way.
“So if your ‘girl’ would rather spend time with a gay man than with you, I think you’ve got bigger problems, yeah? Do one.”
The guy makes a few different moves, as if contemplating starting something - but Callum doesn’t back down. He’s only been in a handful of fights in his lifetime but if that’s what it comes to, so be it.
When the guy finally skulks off, Callum turns on Ben. He’s standing there with his mouth half open, unable to contain his surprise.
“What the hell, Ben?”
“Me? What about you?” Ben counters, looking Callum up and down like he’s a buffet meal. “Holding off some drunk bellend like you’re Tyson Fury or somethin'.”
Callum rolls his eyes. “I had to do something, he was gonna take ya head off.”
“I didn’t know I had me own personal bodyguard,” Ben says, coming in to grab at Callum’s shirt, tipping his head up at him. “I’d buy drinks for pretty girls more often.”
“Are you just looking for trouble or what?” Callum says quietly, pulling him in closer by his hips. Ben grins.
“No. It just finds me sometimes, don’t it? Found you, didn’t I?”
“I just got you out of trouble!”
“Yeah but you’re gonna take me home,” Ben tells him, reaching up for a quick kiss. He tastes like booze and lemon and Callum chases it with another, sucks on his lip. Ben puts his finger there. “And that’s a lot more trouble.”
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So, about Bi Caleb
Warning: very long post, discussing bi representation and biphobia.
*Sorry for spelling errors, English ain’t my firts language.
I can’t believe I have to tell you guys, but anyways: Caleb is bi whether he ends with a male character, a female character on a non binary character. That’s what bi people do, you know? they experience atraction for all genders. Saying that a bi character that ends with someone of the opposite gender is straight and queerbaiting is incredibly biphobic.
Yes, Vax was bisexual. Yes, he ended up with Kiki. Get fucking over it.
Now, I can understand why LGBT+ fans may feel disappointed when they tease a “gay couple” but the “straigth” couple ends up being endgame. Notice the quotation marks because there’s not such thing as a straight or gay couple for a bi person. They are bisexual in both situations, but I can see where the problem comes from. I’ve been queerbaited to hell and back by a lot of shows and it really hurts. It feels like they are laughting at you for caring. But I want those fans (whose feelings are totally valid, don’t get me wrong) to consider a few things when it comes to Critical Role, the first one being: it’s a D&D game.
Let me explain, because I know a lot of CR fans haven’t experienced what D&D is like in real life (and that’s absolutely valid, you don’t need to play D&D to enjoy CR). This is an improvisation game, not an scripted TV show. In a Tv show you can plan ahead of time what ship is going to be endgame, what themes are gonna come up for each character and it’s easier to deeply explore sexuality and gender as different planned arcs. In D&D you character’s sexuality may or may not come up depending on how you play it. Take for instance how other CR character’s have stated their sexuality:
Beau: overtly. Very *In your face* kind of lesbian. Marisha said “fuck it, I really just want to romance girls and be bad ass”
Yasha: openly, but not as in your face. Ashley Jhonson wanted to drink from that WLW cup while also being a shy disaster. Seafood market is her favored terrain.
Caduceus: Our Ace king has never hidden his sexuality, and yet he didn’t mention anything about it until chapter 114. He didn’t had the need to either hide it or state it. He was simply vibing.
I think Liam is going that route with Caleb. He’s flustered by Essek and Edwulf (Come on you guys, he always asks Matthew if he’s still hot). He also had/has a thing for Astrid and a think he might have feels for our favorite Tiefling gal. I know we are all too used to characters being teased as gay/bi only to have execs pull a “haha jk they be straight”. But this is not Sherlock or Supernatural. This is a show that not only has queer rep, but also supports queer organizations and creators. Hell, I’m sure some of the cast members are LGBT (but I’m not here to speculate on real people’s sexuality). If Caleb shows attraction to men he is not just queerbaiting, doing it for fanservicing or tricking the fans in any way shape or form: he’s just portraying a bi character. The thing is, since this is not a TV show, he is not doing it por woke points or to send a message. He’s doing it because he wants to play a bi wizard with depression.
So maybe there will be a point in which he can explores his sexuality more deeply, but remember he is playing a game. And his character is one that has a lot of trouble opening up to his feelings. Caleb is not someone that makes sexual jokes or flirty remarks. He is shy, awkward and has developed a really fucked up sense of love that he is now slowly fixing. Hell, in the same Talks episode Liam explained that Caleb was trained on Honey-pot tactics. Which, for those of you who can’t stand Bond films, means seducing your enemy/target to get information, manipulate them or assassinate them. WHICH IS A REALLY FUCKED UP THING! Let’s remember how he was the one to push Fjord to sleep with Advantica so they could spy on her. That boy has Issues when it comes to relationships. So if we don’t see him being as overtly gay as Beau, Molly or Yasha, well maybe it’s because that’s the way Caleb is. Bi people don’t owe you flamboyance, or dating both guys and gals for your approval.
I wouldn’t make a post if it was only that, because I do feel the people who are aching for good bi rep and would love some more explicit confirmation. But Vax exists, so I know we can’t have good things down here.
VAX EXPLICITELY SHOWED ATTRACTION TO GILMORE. AS EXPLICIT AS IT GETS. HE FUCKING KISSED HIM. THEY WERE PRACTICALLY DATING. AND YET SOME OF YOU FUCKERS CALL HIM QUEERBAITING. AND I SAY: NOT ON MY WATCH! NOT ON MY FUCKING WATCH!!
How come a character can have canonically kissed another character in a romantic/sensual context and still be called straight? I know fucking Sherlock traumaticed y’all into having trust issues but believe me when I tell you: I’ts not that deep. This is not a “Haha I love u but in a no homo way bro”. It’s a “full homo darling, but also we’re gonna break up because I like someone else”. This is the opposite of queerbaiting. Instead of keeping a charade he was honest with Gilmore because he valued his feelings and realized that he couldn’t reciprocate them at that moment. And if you try to tell me that Vaxleth was forced and didn’t have a reason to exist except queerbaiting, let me tell you: you are wrong.
Vax saw Gilmore once or twice monthly while he spent a heck ton of time with Kiki. Sure, they didn’t had the kind of camera chemistry Gilmore and Vax had because Keyleth is not charismatic. She’s really awkward, and her relationship with Vax was more on the adorable and dorky side of things. I bring this up because I’m predicting something similar may happen to Shadowgast.
Trust me, I ship the hot wizards as much as any other critter (even though I’m a multishipper). But they haven’t talked to Essek in centuries. I think it may have been almost a month in rol and quite a few outside. And you have to take into account out-rol time to because they are humans (except Tal) playing a game and they forget about stuff (except Marisha and Matt). So Shadowgast may not happen because sure, they had really good chemistry for a month a month ago. People have crushes that die down over time All The Time. So maybe don’t be so butthurt about your ship not being canon that you accuse an ally of homophobia.
The cast of CR put forward such an amazing representation for the LGBT+ community and it really hurts me that you gets stuck on the one thing that isn’t canon. Matt has created a world in which coming out is not necessary because no one assumes your sexuality. A world in which people respect pronouns and orientations (except Tary’s father, who is a villain). A world in which Cad or Caleb don’t need to explicitly say “I’m ace/bi” unless it comes up in conversation. A world in which his friends can be whatever they want to be without pressure or reprecusions. A world in which they get to explore different gender identities and sexual orientations with full freedom. Let’s not interfere with that (unless there’s missrepresentation), and let them play their game. If you really need mlm or wlw canon couples or more outwardly LGBT+ people you have plenty examples among NPCs and other cast members (Allura and kima, Yasha, Beau, Dairon, Keg, Reani, Tary, Molly and Vax among others).
There’s way worst shows taking LGBT+ cred for barely doing nothing. Fucking Supernatural is the most recent example! Critical Role works towards showing an honest portrayal of LGBT+ folk and accepts valid criticism from their fans on the subject (when they changed J’Mon Sa Ord pronouns from it to they/them). They don’t owe you making your ship canon or portraying their characters the way you want them to (again, unless when it’s constructive criticism). Stop being so Fucking entitled and enjoy the show for what it is
,Respectfully~
*Edit: I´m tagging Caleb’s ships into the post because most hate comes from shipping wars. Most Shadowgast fans are respectful of the cast’s decisions, even if it disappoints them. But since I’ve already seen people accusing Liam of biphobia in that tag and since I’ve already seen this shit with Vaxmore I’m tagging the ship. If you want to read my long ass post do it, if not, ignore it. I’m not forcing you to read it. I’ve also tagged it with biphobia so people can avoid it if it’s triggering. I’m sorry if it makes you mad that your ship is not canon, but that’s not an excuse to be toxic to the cast. Those of you getting mad are the ones that need to read this the most. Like I’ve said in the post: you’re allowed to be disappointed, you are allowed to want more, but you can’t force the cast to give you exactly what you want. And most certainly, you can’t accuse them of some very serious stuff like biphobia and queerbaiting when it’s not the case..
#Critical Role#Critical Role Rant#Bi Caleb#Shadowgast#Shadowulf#I swear to good#widofjord#I swear to Melora#Widowjest#Talks Machina#lgbt discourse#Rant#Jesus this is long#Vax#vax'ildan#Vaxmore#I'm so fucking done with this fandom sometimes#Vaxleth#How to be biphobic while asking for bi representation#liam o'brien#trigger warning biphobia#tw biphobia#Critical role discourse#queerbaiting
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Hargrove/Mayfield sibling headcanons because fuck the Duffer Brothers this could have been beautiful.
- Mad Max is super fucking protective of her big brother. Like you wouldn't know it at first but Max will 100% poison your coffee and then fake cry at your funeral if you fuck with Billy.
- Max knows Billy is gay because she's got eyes. Like, Billy likes to think he's slick but seriously? That shower scene with Steve is AFTER his asshole dad packed up their whole family to scare the "faggot" out of his son. So just imagine for me if you will a 15 year old Billy Hargrove with a crush. Jesus fucking Christ. Little Maxine takes one look at Billy and knows she's gotta cover for him. Kicks or pinches him whenever she sees him mooning over that cute senior from his school delivering their paper. Draws attention to herself when she can hear Billy stumble through his window in the middle of the night after being out on a date. She doesn't tell Billy which leads to some friction cuz why is she being such a little shit to him what the fuck. But then one morning he looks over at Max eating cereal and her eyes widen in horror. She smacks her bowl to the floor and runs off to the bathroom loudly exclaiming she's gonna throw up and Billy is so confused? Neil had been pouring his coffee but upon hearing Max retch in the bathroom just grimaces and quickly heads out the door to go to work early. When she hears Niels truck pull away she comes back out of the bathroom holding her mom's concealer and shoves it at Billy. Who is. Still very confused. Until she tells him that his boyfriend should be more careful about leaving marks. And in a panic Billy runs to the mirror in his room and lo and behold he has a dark red hickey at the base of his neck peaking up through the collar of his shirt. Billy could fucking cry with how much he loves her.
- Max hates when people touch her hair. Because it's such a vibrant shade of red she's had people just reaching out and grabbing it and asking if it's real her whole life. Billy is the ONLY ONE allowed to touch her hair to either brush or braid it. She won't even let her mom do it.
- Max knows the SECOND they pull up to Hawkins high that Billy is gunna get stupid over that boy with the tall hair and the expensive BMW. Calls it before Billy even looks at him. Clocks the exact second that he does because Billy's face goes soft and then hungry and Ugh gross going to school now not thinking about this BILLY PLEASE STOP YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME.
- When Steve and Billy have their first fight Max finds her brother crying silently in his bedroom listening to Metallica. She crawls onto the bed with him and punches him on the shoulder. Tells him boys fucking such and Steve doesn't deserve him. Doesn't matter what the fight was about either. She's always going to be on Billy's side.
-Billy Hargrove is 100% still crazy. He's like a fucking bulldog if any boys even GLANCE at his sister cuz he knows what those little shits wants and like hell are they gunna touch Maxine. Not his little sister no sir.
- Max is actually cool with this because boys ain't shit. Till she meets Lucas.
- So she still sneaks out with him to the junkyard and Billy still pulls up to the Byers house ready to burn down all of Hawkins because Steve may be pretty but like hell does he trust this whole situation.
- But Max and Billy are closer in this. She comes outside before Steve can say a word, just grabs his hand and leads him inside with an expression that says *You know me. This isn't a fucking joke.* And shows him the demodog in the fridge.
- Billy gets roped into the upside down bullshit with them.
- Billy also really fucking hates Mike Wheeler. Like, listen you little asshole you talk to Max like that one more goddamn time I'm gunna feed you your fucking teeth. Dustin is scared but also thinks Billy is kind of cool for standing up for his family.
- Max is also a good wingman. Before Billy and Steve figure they're shit out Max will drop hints with Steve about how cool Billy is or how they should hang out cuz he needs friends his age after moving all the way from Cali. Like "Hey Billy really misses swimming. Heard you have heated pool. You should invite him over". And then just straight up gathering intel for Billy. Like what his favorite food is or the music he likes (which they are both disgusted by but Billy is obviously falling head over heels so Max will let it slide).
- Max gets her period on the way to the arcade and doesn't notice so she's super freaked out when as soon as she gets out of the car Billy grabs her and yanks her back in looking totally panicked. She demands to know what the fuck his problem is but all he says is they have to go home. She's super pissed until she gets home and goes to go to the bathroom and notices the blood. The blood that Billy is silently and discreetly cleaning of the leather seats right before he goes to pick up ice cream and ibuprofen because he is a good big brother. They never speak of it again.
- However her love for him is tested because Billy what the FUCK are you doing with Steve Harrington in your bedroom with our thin ass walls she can fucking hear you are you even trying to be quiet??! When she hears Neil and her mom pull up out front she grabs their attention long enough for Steve to sneak out Billy's window. Billy gives her like $50 for the arcade.
#shitbirds#Maxine Mayfield#Billy Hargrove#harringrove#billy hargrove/steve harrington#billy/steve#steve harrington#Billy and Max have a good sibling relationship#Billy Max is so sick of your shit go to Steve's house if you wanna bang#that hoe writes
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