#your king of shitpost has returned

[meowzfordayz]

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Author’s Note: this isn’t nsfw, but it’s ~explicit for other reasons. 🚽🧻💩 #shitposting #literally

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Hashira x Reader, Kamaboko x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: explicit language, poop references

~faqs~

Do you even love him ????? 😭😭😭

WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN?!?!?! 🫠😵‍💫🤢

Haunted by your little gasps for air 🙃

Can’t take intimacy srsly for a while

Bc whenever you gasp ~cutely into your kisses 🥰

Zenitsu just flashes back to you doing your best to take a shit 😮‍💨🥴

Highkey takes it as a challenge 😏

A display of dominance, if you will 😎

Nods in approval (not that you can see him)

And takes ~notes for later (aka yes, he is listening closely 💀) 

You don’t know it yet

But Inosuke’s already planning his move

Drink a ton of coffee (he’ll have to ask Tanjirou how to brew it) ☕️

Eat a ton of dairy 🧀🥛🍦

Make sure you’re home 😌

Take a shit (w/ the door open, ofc) 🤗

THAT’LL SHOW YOU WHO’S BOSS !!!!! 😤😤😤🫡

King of the Toilet anyone??? 🚽👑

Wonders why everything sounds louder??? 😬

A respectful gentleman tho ☺️

Will go upstairs to avoid the plops 🫢

Too bad his hearing’s phenomenal, even when hiding on top of the roof 😃

A little irritated 🙄

But whatever

You prob just reeeally had to go

He understands 😶

Will nonchalantly ask you about it the next time you’re out w/ friends 🤨

Is getting ignored for the rest of the night worth it? 🙃

Kinda 🥲

Obanai has regrets 😞

Can smell the situation from a mile away 😅

Tbf, closing the door wouldn’t have helped much 😬

Has to contemplate whether it’s worth embarrassing you over

Like, does he gently ask, “Love, would you mind closing the door?”

Or does he wince grin and bear it

Unfortunately, the toilet paper he would use to plug up his nose is currently unobtainable 🧻☹️

Should he just knock himself out for now? 🤗

You’d prob be upset if he didn’t wake up in time… 😒

Hm… 😔

😵 <— Tanjirou inhaled too deeply

“BAAABE, YOU FORGOT TO CLOSE THE DOORRR!!!!!” 🩷💕💞💓💗💖💘💝

Giggles to herself as the door slams shut 🤭

(you’re not mad, but you had to kick it closed bc it’s a lil far from the toilet seat 😅)

Holds it against you 😌

~

“Shinobu, could you get me a glass of water?” ☺️

“I don’t know, my dear, could you close the bathroom door?” 😃

~

“Shinobu, I want a kiss.” 🥺

“Mm, and I want to forget your pooping noises. I guess we can’t always have what we want.” 😃

Chuckles to himself, at first 🤭

And then becomes concerned 😕

Is it supposed to sound like that? 🙁

Or take this long?? ☹️ Should he intrude? 😖

It’s not like there’s a closed door for him to bust down…

He could just, waltz in-

NO

Internally scolds himself: Bad idea, [y/n] would not appreciate that!

Returns to the drawing board

And settles on a careful (once you’ve returned to him), “So, my love, are your bowels feeling okay?” ☺️

🧐😒😠 <— you

😶😬😁 <— him

“They just, uh, sounded wonderful earlier?!”

“Next time, how about closing the door?”

*Sanemi is casually leaning against a wall near the bathroom entrance*

You shriek 😳

And smack his shoulder 😡

“Sanemi!!!!! Do not wait outside the bathroom like that!!!!!” 😭

“Did you wash your hands?” 😏

“SANEMI!” 😒

“... well?” 👀

You are not amused 😐

He acquiesces 😅

“Okay, okay, I confess, I heard the sink running.” 🤓

“I hate you.” 🥲

“But you trust me enough to shit with the door open.” 🥰

“Piss off.” 🙄

“I’m about to!” 🫡

(bc, y’know, he’s about to go… piss… 😆)

Doesn’t really mind

Will prob forget to remind you about it later 🙃

Until the next time you do it

…

By the fourth incident, Muichiro gives up

If anything, he’s flattered you’re so comfortable around him ☺️

Altho he is a lil worried about your ability to use a public bathroom 😶

Def uncomfortable 😕

But even more uncomfortable at the thought of discussing ~it w/ you ☹️

Giyuu knows you wouldn’t be upset

Or even embarrassed

You have like, 0 shame, as he’s both lovingly and unfortunately come to learn ☺️😬

Which means

If he mentioned it, then you’d likely end up teasing him 🫠

“Love me so much, you’ve even gotta listen to me poop?” 😉

*shudder shudder* 😭

(I mean, yes, he does love you that much, but when you put it like that 🥴)

Giyuu settles on hoping that it was a one time mistake 🤞🙏

Good luck 😃

Tengen’s never letting you live it down 😝

Will write out instructions on “How to Use a Bathroom” 🤓

And stick ‘em on both sides of the door

Step 1: Open the door

Step 2: CLOSE THE DOOR

Step 3: ✨Do your thing✨

#hashira x reader #kamaboko #headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #zenitsu x reader #inosuke x reader #gyomei x reader #obanai x reader #tanjiro x reader #tanjirou x reader #mitsuri x reader #shinobu x reader #kyojuro x reader #sanemi x reader #muichiro x reader #giyuu x reader #tengen x reader

[otterlyfoolish]

Toriko Roommate HCs

A bunch of Headcanons of on being roommates with the Toriko characters. Semi-shitpost purely because I'm doing this to get a laugh out of it. Pretty platonic stuff. Not edited, I hate editing!

Word count: 2.5k

(Heavenly Kings & Komatsu)

Toriko

I could see him living with someone else if he wasn't able to live in his candy house anymore. It'll probably because they refused to keep making them.

Eats the fridge out. He also eats the ice in the freezer. Nothing is left.

Gone as soon as you step away from the vicinity of the kitchen area.

Don't worry about it too much, he'll leave enough for one serving. Just one. It's for you so you have something to eat for the next meal.

Your shopping trip for one now has to turn into shopping trip for two. If you have a list of stuff to buy hung up on the fridge somewhere, he'll start writing on it. The list of items in his handwriting is more than double of whatever you buy to eat.

He makes up for it though. Causally slams down a massive stack of cash to cover for the cost of it and then walks out to go get lunch with Komatsu or something. 

Invites you out to eat sometimes. Expensive restaurants are just as likely as chance as the local noodle joint. 

You have a pet? No. You had a pet.

Your pet would naturally gravitate towards towards him

He would probably take it on a walk even if it was a pet fish or bug. 

The worse part is that he doesn't even feed it, they just like him more than you. An natural animal's person. 

You'll find them napping together. 

He's a shedder. Blue hair everywhere, he has so much hair it blocks up the vacuum cleaner. 

His clothes are also spread about the place, but when he notices them, he'll chuck them in the washing machine. 

He probably isn't home too much. But you know when he is because you can find a pair of muddy footprints leading up to your front door. 

When he is home, he might bring some people over - he's a social guy when he isn't out hunting or eating

Sometimes might bring over Komatsu. You'll find the two of them sitting on the couch watching some cooking show. These are the best days because he usually stays until dinner and makes all three of you food to eat. 

His brothers might come over. Coco is a delight to have. Sunny is snippy, but you can tell he cares somewhat. Zebra… You're afraid that he won't stop at emptying your fridge, and will start chomping down on the metal container. 

You could probably grow used to being his roommate, there's nothing too bad, just a collection of a lot of little things.

Coco

I don't even know how you convinced him to be roommates with you - I cannot imagine a scenario where he would do this. 

But it barely even matters since you won't see him. Like at all. You'll have to live with him for a couple years before he even thinks about starting to warm up to you.

Almost always in his room. He's deathly silent too - you won't hear a single thing from him ever. The absolute most you'll hear is him talking to some sort of bird outside his window(?) You still aren't really sure who he's talking to, but you occasionally hear some bird sounds.

On the rare occasion you see him outside, he's reading a thick book about something you'll need a master's degree to fully understand. He'll simply greet you and return to reading. Don't stare too long or he'll retreat back to his room. 

You have no idea how often he's at home, purely because you have no idea if he's even home or not from how much noise he makes. The only way you could really tell is seeing if his shoes are gone or not. It's unsettling, borderline frightening. 

Extremely respectful of the shared space - no dishes in sink, the place is well-maintained, there's barely any indication that you live with another person. The only thing that's his is the massive bookcase that takes up a fair chunk of the room. 

If he likes you, he'll let you read some of the books on the shelf. Just under no circumstances do you dog-ear the pages. Your privilege will be revoked instantly. The bookshelf will be replaced with one that requires a lock, or even worse, moves to his room and you will truly never see him again. 

If you're friendly enough with him, you could possibly invite him to watch something together on the television. 

If you ask him what he wants to watch, you'll end up watching a three-hour long documentary on something - pray it's a topic you like or you might not make it out awake. 

If you fall asleep during it, he'll just turn it off, and probably won't accept any other offers to watch stuff with you. It's not that he's offended, it's more so he sees it as redundant if you're not even going to be awake.

Don't worry about it too much, if you like playing puzzle games on a console, he might come out and watch you play. He won't say anything though, even if you get stuck. If you want help, you have to ask him.

Never brings guest over. Though, guests will sometimes make their way over. 

Toriko and Komatsu are the more common ones. They usually come bringing food. It's a good day when they come to visit because they will share food with you. 

Sunny is rarer, if you see him, it's usually urgent and Coco will leave alongside him immediately. You probably won't see him for a week at least.

Once, and only once you met a man covered in blood, half naked with a ripped jaw. You fainted at the sight.

Coco later told you that that man was his 'baby brother'. You still don't know if it was fragment of your imagination.

A stickler that he seems to keep doing is showering in scalding hot water. If you forget and just jump in, your skin will burn. 

Apart from that, he's a fairly good roommate? He'll leave you alone, and won't cause any fuss unless you're doing something he really, really doesn't like.

Sunny

Passive aggressive as hell

If you shed a lot of hair, and aren't diligent on vacuuming it up in time, he'll gather all of it up and place it in front of your bedroom door.

If you leave the dishes undone for too long in the sink, he'll do the same thing  - leave it at your door to trip up on. 

You'll probably have a lot of petty arguments with him. Nothing serious. 

He's a good roommate in other ways though.

He's probably not against sharing his skin care products with you if he doesn't hate you too much. He'd probably even give you tips on how to help or maintain it.

But do not ask him to borrow any or his hair products. None. 

You will never see a bug in your living quarters ever again - he will eliminate the cause effective immediately. 

The same applies to rats, or any pests of any kind. He will not tolerate having any of these things in his home, so you'll also be safe from it.

If you watch TV, he might come in uninvited and give you running commentary on the people's appearances or the show itself.

"Really? That shirt with those pants?"

…Even though he's kind of a fashion disaster himself. The only reason he can pull it off is because he has unrivalled confidence in himself.

"…Gross. He's obviously having an affair with the girl at his workplace. The story isn't even good."

He'll still watch shitty dramas as long as you keep it on the screen.

You think that he secretly enjoys it.

"…Are you seriously watching Toriko eat absurd amounts of food for entertainment?"

Insert scoff here.

He might actually just turn the TV off for this one.

Just remember to turn down the volume if you're watching late at night - he will be very upset if you interrupt his beauty sleep.

Rin has a pair of spare keys to your place. You'll see her in and about even if Sunny isn't home at the moment. The two of you sometimes trash talk him, but she mostly just waves at you and continue doing… whatever she's doing at your place.

Sometimes when she comes over, the place smells 10x better. You're not sure what magic she works, but you swear it could be drugs.

Overall, not a bad roommate, but could certainly be better. 

Zebra

…You really wanna do this? Alright.

I'd recommend buying sound-proof headphones and sound-proofing your room.

It doesn't actually help that much, but it's really just for your own peace of mind.

Also team "Empties the fridge", but doesn't stop there. 

You're concerned he might actually just eat the fridge. Whole. Unhinge his jaw like a snake and crunch it like nothing.

Jokes about eating your pet if you have one.

He makes half threats about eating you if you don't buy food everyday.

Doesn't even matter if you do buy food every day since he probably won't be there the next day

If Toriko had muddy footprints, he has bloody ones. Do Not Ask. He'll answer you, but you won't like the answer he gives you. Just save yourself the horror. 

Police will absolutely come by a couple times a month purely because of your neighbours calling them on him.

Maybe it's the bloody footprints. Maybe it's the fact he broke the 'tiny' doorway on the way in.

When they explain that they thought that he was going to kill you, you laugh but wonder if the police would even stand a chance if he was going to kill you. 

It doesn't help that he leaves for weeks at a time and comes stumbling in covered in gore he hasn't really bothered to clean off yet. 

You don't even really know what to do in this situation apart from explain that he's a roommate.

No, he's not trying to kill you.

No, he is not holding you hostage.

Yes, you would like for them to stop coming at this point. 

The few redeeming qualities are:

Your home is completely safe. You will never worry about a break in - he can hear anything happening for miles and miles. In fact, if anyone were break in, it would be him. 

Yes, he's done it before after losing his keys.

Yes you just woke up, walked out to see him covered in blood, waved at him then went back to sleep.

Yes, you are far too desensitised to blood now. 

Rats and other creatures are too afraid of living in your home - pests will actively avoid living there. Just be careful about your pet running away from home if they're able to. (They'll get used to him eventually)

He will sometimes bring back an absolutely massive chunk of meat - . You may eat it if he likes you enough.

But if you eat it, you have to help him cook it. No matter how good you are at it, he'll just shake his head.

…He's probably thinking that Komatsu could do better.

Komatsu

In my opinion, the best roommate on this list. Purely because he is the most normal on this list. 

Will cook for you. You will cry tears of joy. Weep. You will be grateful simply because of how tasty it is.

He'll be organised with the kitchen, it'll pretty much always be full.

Just… If you move anything, remember where it came from, because he'll get pretty upset if you keep doing this. He likes a system to his madness.

The fridge will be fairly stocked, but he'll keep a list of what he needs on a paper stuck to a magnet. It'd be appreciated if you could buy these items when he can't.

You don't get to spend a lot of time with him. Between being Toriko's partner and running his kitchen at Hotel Gourmet, he doesn't have a lot of free time.

When he comes home, it's late at night. The two of you should be asleep.

In fact, he tells you that you should be asleep at this time. Fucking hypocrite.

When you do get to spend time with him, he's probably in the kitchen tinkering around with something new he bought at the World Kitchen or something Toriko had swung by to give him.

If you really wanna spend time with him, you should just pull up a chair to the counter.

If you're close enough to him, he'll invite you to help make dinner.

Don't worry, he'd give you something really, really simple to do.

There is no room for disappointment.

If he isn't experimenting, he'll probably be watching some sort of cooking show. (A massive part of his personality is just flipping cooking and I love it so fucking much) You're welcome to join him watching the show.

Just be careful since he will be asking you what you think about contestants three's pie crust. He will not be satisfied with a half-assed answer.

He'll have a notepad on his lap, and he'll be taking notes whenever something interests him.

His notes are very neat, so you can read them, but you aren't sure if they make much sense.

Toriko is a common sight in your home. He'll just sit on the couch with a bag of food he took out of the fridge. He'll give you a nice big grin while waving at you with your lunch plans in his mouth.

Komatsu will probably scold him a bit, but you know that nothing will change. You'll probably see him in two weeks doing the same thing again.

Since he isn't home often, and he's a pretty likable, you'll probably start doing his portion of his chores after long enough. He insists you don't have to, but you'll probably end up doing it.

He also gets you to get rid of the spiders. Don't kill them though, after meeting Toriko, he'd avoid doing these things. Just put them outside.

Don't try to scare him even as a joke - he will scream his lungs out and your neighbours will think that a murder had happened.

Also… be careful you don't join his fucking harem.

#toriko #toriko imagine #toriko x reader #this is more shitpost than serious I'd say #OtterlyFoolishYapping #Toriko headcanons #coco #Sunny #Zebra #Komatsu #x reader

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Due to a glitch in Tumblr (thank you very much, for fuck's sakes), the question was posted as a private message, can't return it. but thanks to @mazal22 , for whom I wrote the answer and was able to copy my notes. Bless your heart 🙏🙏🙏

Question: "I came up with a brilliant idea.. how about headcanons with bachelors and bachelorettes with a farmer who has a young brother/sister? That they look after him and they're just cute? Wild? Have some magic? I honestly don't know but think this just cute"

I decided to write in a new format, but still not sure. Because I couldn't decide whether to write short stories, a regular headcanon, or as a shitpost. In the end, everything was mixed together like in a salad. But anyway, I hope you like it)))

Be warned, this post is very long... Like wow

SDV and SVE bachelors:

Alex:

Oh, a new fan of the future athlete? Does they want an autograph or something?

Mmm? Raise that bench? Sure, not a problem! Now that heavy stump? With ease! Want to see what heavy things I can lift next? Something else? Lewis car? Hah, no probl-

"Alex, put my vehicle down!"

Alex is ok with the kid running around.

He notes to himself that it is quite brave and responsible of the Farmer's side to take care of the younger sibling and run the farm at the same time.

Sometimes he treats the child with ice cream from the kiosk in the summer.

Falls into a stupor if the child says that they believes in him that he will become a sports star.

...

If one of the tourists offends this kid, he will deal with Alex too, and not just with the angry Farmer.

Sam:

Sam became like a big brother to the Farmer's sibling.

He will definitely introduce them to Vincent so that they befriend and play together.

Buys them ice cream and gives them a ride on his skateboard.

Sometimes rolls them on his shoulders if they ask.

Vincent gets a little jealous and now Sam has two kids on his shoulders

It's not hard to guess that they all fell to the ground.

Sam doesn't mind watching the kids if the Farmer is too busy.

Best brother material!

Elliott:

Waking up in the morning, Elliott decided to take a walk and get some fresh air. He did not look out the window, knowing that the weather would be fine today. But in vain.

Around his house is a wall of sand.

"Your realm will soon fall before my sand army. Surrender, king of the elves."

Elf? Who is this child?

Ah, that's Farmer's sibling.

Well, Elliott understands a little about theatrical art, why not play along with the kid.

He always plays along with the siblings when they play games like this. The little one got talent, you could send them to art school, Farmer!

Allows them to braid his hair if the child asks. Just please don't pull his hair too hard!

Elliott is like a big thoroughbred noble dog: he will endure all the antics of children and will never bark.

Shane:

Despite his rudeness to the Farmer at the first meeting, he is neutral towards their sibling.

The chaotic younger sibling of the chaotic Farmer... Shane isn't sure if it's worth introducing them to Jas.

But children are children, so Jas and Farmer's sibling managed to become friends anyway.

Shane doesn't mind.

He and Farmer also began to communicate more, as two singe parents.

Although at the same time, Shane claims that he is a useless godfather and guardian.

"Uncle Shane is lying, Mr./Ms. Farmer."

"Shush, Jas."

Both Shane and Farmer now need to make sure the two kids don't get into trouble together.

Sebastian:

Acts like an awkward uncle.

How to communicate with children?

...

Do you like frogs?

Sebastian will show them his little terrarium, and will be happy if Farmer's sibling is excited about the amphibians.

He will also show his exclusive collection of comics.

Sebby, of course, is constantly on social networks, but he did not expect the child Naruto running around him.

They made Sebastian laugh, although he thought that nothing in this world would make him laugh.

Total chaos, but Sebastian is pretty cool with that.

Secretly too, Naruto runs with the sibling if they ask to join.

The Farmer caught Sebastian during this run. Busted!

Harvey:

The Farmer's sibling is a frequent visitor to the clinic.

Oh, nothing serious, just scratches on their knees and bruises on their arms. Children often run without looking under their feet and this child is no exception.

Always gives them sugar-free candy after sanitizing their scratches.

Sometimes the sibling just walks into the clinic to say hi to the uncle doctor.

Sometimes brings gifts for the doctor.

From an older sibling - vegetables and fruits.

Sometimes from themself - a cool shell or dirt.

Harvey doesn't know how to react to this. But thank the child anyway.

Victor:

He also acts like an awkward uncle (behind Sebastian in first place), but knows what to do with an energetic child when the Farmer is busy.

He has a lot of video games, what do you want to play?

Wait, they want to play a bridge simulator? They think this is an interesting game?

This is now Victor's sibling. Deal with it, Farmer.

Confused when a child does something chaotic but will support them (unless it's something dangerous, of course!).

Victor is confused, but he got the spirit. I give him 8/10 as brother/uncle material.

Lance:

Lance doesn't know what surprised him the most: the presence of a child in the Adventurers' guild, or their requests to show "fire in the palm of your hand."

He turned his head towards Marlon with a questioning look.

"Farmer's sibling. They asked to look after the kid for an hour while they clear the caves of monsters."

Oh, they have sibling?

Still, Lance gave in to the child's requests and formed a small fire sphere in his right hand.

"Awesome! See what I can"

They formed a similar sphere in their palms, but the elements of ice.

Hold on, what?

Although, remembering the event with the Farmer on Ginger island and learning about magic relics, Lance is not so surprised.

"Two talented young and chaotic mages, that's more of a headache for Magnus" Marlon thought as he watched it all.

"Indeed" Lance agrees and smiles.

Magnus:

Please don't touch this. Don't touch that either. Those books are very old, be careful! Please put the mushrooms back, he needs them for potions. For heaven's sake, stay out of his cauldron!-

Yoba, why does Magnus suffer so much.

First, Camilla with that ridiculous nicknames, blasted woman! Then Morgan almost burned down his tower, and then the Farmer and Junimos do something without warning the wizard.

And now this child. Child with magic. A walking chaos and troublemaker.

With magic and desir- put this potions back! - desire to poke their nose everywhere.

And yet, the child is kind, gets along well with Morgan, and is very talented, and...

No, don't touCH THOSE POTIONS-!

Somebody kill him.

SDV and SVE Bachelorettes:

Abigail:

At first she avoided the child. She is not a babysitter.

Then Farmer's sibling became interested in one of his older sibling's professions.

And saw Abigail again, asked if she was an adventurer too. They also want to become a warrior, and as cool as the Farmer and her.

Abby is now informally the child's mentor. No buts.

She realized that they are quite fun to be with, and they also love video games, another plus.

Abby will show them the cool crystals she found in the mines.

The child tried to bite off a piece of quartz.

Are they definitely not Abigail's distant relative, another "just taste the gem" lover?

But seriously, don't eat rocks please.

Penny:

Another young mind in her class.

Penny is very happy about the addition to her group.

Although this means more work with materials for the preparation of the school curriculum.

They are very smart and educated.

Although they give Penny a heart attack every time they climb a tree or get too close to a river bank.

Penny is like a mother hen, she doesn't let anyone go far.

She always helps them if they have learning difficulties.

Like the other children, she escorts the Farmer's sibling home.

The child always brings a beautiful and juicy apple to the young teacher. And sometimes a whole basket of apples.

Maru:

If you have problems with maths, Maru will help them.

Do you want to see the robots she makes?

Can I make the robot say something? Of course!

Makes a robot to... curse?

...

So, how old are they?

(Secretly also wants to give the robot such a function, but her father will not get it).

Gave them a couple of times to look through the telescope. With joy, she answers what kind of stars and planets they are.

"Aunt Maru, help build Lego"

Oh, with her, sibling will gather a separate civilization.

Teach them scientific puns.

Leah:

Leah's house door is now frequently knocked on.

"Aunt Leah, show me your new paintings, they are beautiful".

Well, how can Leah say no?

If the Farmer is busy then she can look after their sibling.

Mostly they are in nature.

Paints and clean sheets - and let the child create a miracle.

Sometimes they walk through the forest, where Leah shows them which berries are edible and which are poisonous.

Very proud of them if they already know.

She gets a good mood, and a basket of vegetables in gratitude from the Farmer - the day was a success.

Haley:

Haley is quite polite towards children, even if they are as chaotic as the Farm Relative.

Doesn't get mad at them even if they accidentally stained her clothes.

Periodically takes random photos of this running child.

It turns out very funny, you can make a good meme from this pictures.

And why not do it? But only of the Farmer themself and their sibling will allow it.

Now the kid is the star of the Internet.

Chaos of the Valley

Once she received a sunflower from them.

Haley will never forget this touching gift.

Scratch out the eyes with his new manicure to any bully who dares to offend them.

Try her, bitch.

Emily:

Always glad to see Farmer and their sibling at home.

She usually spoil the child with healthy sweets like pastille or sugar-free marmalade.

Emily can sew anything for them.

Do you want to be a pirate? Or an astronaut? Or maybe a vampire? Oh, or make a dinosaur costume.

Believe me, she is hung up on sewing. The main thing is to find a reason and time.

Can teach dancing or aerobics if the sibling asks.

He will tell you how to read a horoscope correctly.

Sibling will one day show her the magic in their palms.

Ah, Farmer! They are a wizard!

They are what?

Claire:

Please, child, Claire is trying to work. She is so tired

Don't ask her too many questions.

Where are their parents?

Ah, here they are. Well, not parents, but brother/sister, a new Farmer. The Farmer explained to their sibling that they should be well-mannered.

"Oh, okay. Sorry ms Claire".

Before and after work, she sees this child, but they are no longer clingy.

They greet her politely and move on.

They often give Claire dandelions they find and say she has a beautiful hair color.

A little angel.

They immediately cheer up Claire if she is depressed.

Given that the farm is very close to the bus stop, such meetings happen often.

Sometimes Claire treats the child to fresh apricots and apples that her neighbors gave her.

Sophia:

Oh hey.

...

How can Sophia talk to them?

Do you want to watch something cool on TV? I have anime, anime and... animal documentaries. Oh, and I also have anime.

With great pleasure, she will show them her cosplay.

Receive a small soft toy from the child as a gift.

"your toys will make another friend"

oh it's so cute

"And you have pretty hair like bubblegum. I like it."

Sophia, stop crying, you're scaring the child.

Do they love grampleton orange chicken as much as Sophia? And love anime?

Did someone say Sophia was an only child? Nothing like that, now she has a younger brother/sister.

Olivia:

Olivia is just like that grandmother who always spoils the children and gives them too much pocket money.

True, Olivia is not a grandmother, but a milf good looking middle-aged woman.

Spoils them to the point of impossibility, because they are so cute.

Even if the Farmer grumbles a little that she spoils them too much.

If a sibling comes to visit, they won't leave until they've eaten.

I'm telling you, she is like granny.

Olivia will show them an album of old photos of her family.

There's children's books in her library somewhere, if they're interested.

#stardew valley expanded #sve #stardew valley #sdv #sdv headcanons #sve headcanons #this is happened when you mix headcanon shitpost and fluff #pure chaos #maybe little ooc #but hey #Tumblr somehow posted this itself and the sending this as a private message #thanks tumblr #really ass fuck me this time #I cannot tag everyone I'm sorry #I'm still feel a little frustrated because this glitch incident #at least i can write this again #thanks mazzal ❤️ #for the ask and for saving my headcanon

[deathbirby]

Nabatean Slumber

After several shitposts, we have finally returned to the lore/theory posts! Just as the title says, we are going to be looking at Nabatean slumber. How does it work? What even is it? This post will be more of a theory-post.

Let's unpack!

Death

The first time in the game that we see Nabatean slumber, is when Byleth was blasted off a cliff. They slept for 5 years and woke up to a continent at war.

Here is the thing though. Byleth did go into slumber but it was not like the other Nabateans.

You see, unlike regular Nabateans who go into slumber to heal from near-death experiences, Byleth died,

"So you've managed to make it all the way to the end. For once, it seems the stars were wrong. My reading of the stars predicted that, during the war, you would fall to your death. But that was five years ago. Perhaps the prediction was true for you then somehow." - Magic Wielder

The fall killed them. It makes sense, no mortal would survive that. This is further supported by other lines:

"What have you been doing all this time?" - Edelgard

"I was sleeping" and "I was dead" are both equally valid answers. Byleth was dead, in 'eternal slumber', except they're able to wake up from it. Sounds strange, right?

This seems to be a thing related to the Crest of Flames. Sothis was also dead when Nemesis plundered the Holy Tomb, yet we are told she was slumbering.

And Nemesis was dead and brought back to life:

"Nemesis? That Nemesis? Do you really think the ancient King of Liberation has been brought back to life?" - Claude

"An incredible power that we children cannot hope to match dwells within the blood of the progenitor god. Nemesis obtained that blood, so it would not surprise me if that were the case." - Rhea

What about Edelgard? Her case seems to be unique. The Crest of Flames doesn't work the same way when you have another crest already. Crest cancer is too strong.

Near-death

I stated earlier that regular Nabateans go into slumber to recover from near-death experiences. My reasons for this are some lines in game:

Afterward, it broke my heart to see how much you would need to rest just to survive. - Seteth

Flayn, a Nabatean, went into slumber during the war of heroes to survive. It was a near-death experience.

She even has a few lines for Byleth, depending on how they answer:

Under a rock... How similar we are! As it were, I took my rest in a casket made of stone. - Flayn

She slept in a casket made of stone. That does make it sound like she was dead. Why else would you choose to sleep there? It could be symbolic or my theory is wrong and slumber = death for everyone.

But here is another theory: sleeping in a casket is normal for Nabatean slumber. It could be why Rhea did not want to bury Sitri. Not just because of the cold, dark soil, but because her resting in a casket implies she could come back.

Oh. Well, I suppose one's first long slumber is difficult to recall... - Flayn

FIRST long slumber? Huh, sounds like going into slumber is pretty normal for Nabateans. Not that that's a huge shock. Seteth immediately understands when Byleth tells them they slept for 5 years.

But. man, they must really suck at surviving if they keep getting close to death's door!

Who else do we have left?

Relics

Ah, right. The corpses of the slaughtered Nabateans. Is their current state a "slumber"? They're dead, Rhea tells us that quite clearly.

Why do they twitch then? Why do they sap the life-force of their wielders? Why do they glow when activated, similar to Rhea's "truest" form at the end of SS?

Are the relics aware, somehow? Miklan turns into a black beast, and Maurice suffered a similar fate. Was that the relics trying to return to their original state? Why does it happen more frequently to a non-crested person, then? Do they see crested people as fellow Nabateans, and thus don't want to do a take-over? Does it take longer because they need time to come to the realization that this is a human with Nabatean blood? Or was it just an act of revenge?

The game doesn't give us any concrete answers when it comes to the Relics. All of it is left vague and up to interpretation.

So, what are your thoughts on it?

#fe3h #nabateans #analysis #im gonna be honest #im not so sure about this one

[tiktowafel]

Hey love your headcanons! I was wondering if you have any for Tsuburaba?

yup i have many! i love this boy so much

the majority of the class 1b fandom seems to agree that this dude is a total memelord and i honestly can't look him in those googly eyes and disagree with that

he definitely spams the class group chat with memes, recreates vines with his friends, quotes them all the time, gets mildly upset every time someone doesn't understand a reference and acts like he has memorized every knowyourmeme article in existence

i think he's just class 1-b's main funny guy in general, always joking around, telling wacky stories, pulling pranks and just trying to make everyone laugh :)

speaking of pranks: he loves pulling them because his quirk is perfect for that purpose. he did the "putting walls of solid air in doorways and waiting for someone to bump into them" one so may times it's more annoying than funny at this point, but it's his favorite nonetheless. mainly because he really enjoys watching certain people (usually Awase or Kamakiri, the ones who swear the most) get ridiculously pissed over it lol

he also uses his quirk to make little glass figures. he's not much of an artist so they usually come out really wonky but everyone thinks theyre cute

lung capacity has a lot to do with physical endurance so i guess he does long distance running as a form of quirk training? i feel like hes a pretty sporty person in general considering ball sports are canonically one of his favorite things

as much as he likes his quirk, he has to admit that it can be pretty damn inconvenient sometimes. for example respiratory diseases make it go haywire and it's incredibly annoying because it activates every time he coughs or sneezes

(can you tell i love his quirk and think about it a lot?? because i love his quirk and think about it a lot)

his life motto is probably something like "the more stupid shit you do, the more funny stories you'll have to tell your friends later!" because he always gets himself in trouble in dumbest ways possible and then walks up to people like "hey wanna hear about my latest near death experience"

but he's an amazing storyteller, really. this man's got such a way with words that everyone likes listening to him

he'd actually make a pretty good teacher.... if he wasn't absolutely terrible at almost everything school related

english is his only really strong school subject (90% of his skills comes from watching yt videos and looking at memes in english). he's pretty bad at everything else because his memory sucks and he can't pay attention in class to save his life

Rin is usually the one who helps him with studying. this is the main reason why they're close because Rin has the soul of an old man and doesn't get Tsuburaba's sense of humor at all lmao

the people who definitely do get his sense of humor are Tokage and Fukidashi. they're the meme trio of class 1-b and they have a separate group chat that exists for shitposting purposes only

he's also really good friends with Kaibara and Awase, the other two common sense kings, plus Tetsutetsu and Kamakiri, buuut i'm too lazy to talk about it rn lol

Yanagi on the other hand really doesn't like him. she considers him an annoying pervert and treats him like a sworn rival. he likes messing with her in return despite not really understanding why she hates him so much. the rest of the class thinks their interactions are hilarious

i mean he's canonically pretty dirty minded, but he's no Mineta!

sure he laughs at dirty jokes and often catches himself staring at people but he usually keeps his... thoughts to himself

idk for some reasons he seems like the kind of guy who sleeps naked (obviously he wears a robe when walking around the dorms)

it's a very good way to keep Tetsutetsu out of his room because Tetsu's the kind of guy who likes storming into peoples rooms in the morning like "it's a beautiful day outside bro!! the birds are singing and the sun is shining, get out of bed and go eat a healthy breakfast!!!" and Tsuburaba needs his beauty sleep lmao

(well maybe he wouldn't need it if he didn't stay up till 3am watching meme compilations on youtube every night)

every common sense king knows how to play an instrument and Tsuburaba's no exception. he's an absolute master at playing the kazoo

and also at whistling

fuck canon. this man has freckles

since freckled people don't tan very well, he gets sunburns a lot. it's not his fault he likes going outside and just forgets his sunscreen sumetimes :(

everyone in his family is taller than him and he hates it

speaking of his family, he has two older siblings - a brother and a sister, and i actually have character designs for them and their parents too (i also made up families for a bunch of other students. maybe one day i'll get myself to draw them and write some headcanons?)

that's all for today! i wanted to make this a bit more serious but decided not to because... idk man i didn't feel like it

#kosei tsuburaba #tsuburaba kosei #class 1b headcanons #class 1b #bnha #tikto's headcanons #its kinda funny how much i like him #like this man has 0 canon personality traits hes my 2nd favorite character in 1b solely because of headcanons #i have 20 reasons to like him and theyre all made up #also #the tsuburaba and yanagi are rivals concept is borrowed from two guys i know from reddit

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello there! I'd love to have a match based on your opinion. I love your content!

-> Song I'm fixated on | Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor – "I can't seem to let myself leave you / But I can't breathe anymore / I can't seem to not need to need you / And I can't breathe anymore" (Anchor too, but this one has been more on repeat).

-> Enneagram type | Type three. Eight and six were the next ones though!

-> Imaginary friend | I don't really remember much about it, but when I was a teenager, I remember having a lot of OCs as imaginary friends. They were all interesting, and my favorite one was one named Ciel. He was tall, lanky, and really serious. His hair was white with a red strand, and his eyes were purple. He had pale skin and a vitiligo stain on his right eye. He always wore dark clothes. Mostly a dark, emo style. I miss him.

-> Go way to sleep | I start with audios (mostly Guy or David's playlists) but I end up listening to my sleep playlist. It has calm songs or just songs I feel like listening to.

-> Name change | yes! I don't really know why I chose my current name, and if I had a reason at all. If I did, I forgot. I used to have an oc who I called that name, though, and I believe I liked it so I took it from him once I decided to change my name. It was the last time I changed my name, as I went through a lot of them before.

-> Favorite audio | Currently, I'd say Guy's stolen hoodie audio. Either that one, or the friendsgiving audio with the damn boys.

-> Least favorite rboy | I'd say Vega or Blake. I'm sure their storylines are cool, but I'm not personally interested in them. (I haven't listened to Vega's storyline because of this). No hate to them, because they're really cool characters, they just bore me.

-> Favorite Show/Movie | not a book guy, but I can easily tell you all the plots of each episode from The Mentalist. Is not a super popular show, but God do I love it. As for movies, I'd say 'Mary Poppins Returns' and 'The Pacifier' are two movies I can say by heart. I've seen them countless times and I never get bored of them.

-> Platonic rboy | I absolutely adore Asher, but with him, I don't really see myself with. He's amazing, and I'd love to have him as a friend because from what we've seen, he's loyal and utterly amazing, but not really my type.

-> Comfort topic | Probably redacted, or talking about what I did that day. When I talk with my boyfriend before bed, we always end up just talking about how our day was and what are we planning for tomorrow, and I often start telling him stuff about whatever audio comes to my mind. I also like doing random silly games, such as asking questions, or opinions on something.

-> Comfort drink | I don't have a car, and I don't really buy drinks outside. But I do love chamomile tea and Sprite. I'd say Sprite is my go-to, and chamomile is a good alternative if I don't have a sprite. I also adore apple juice, but not all brands, just a specific one and that one only.

-> Favorite playlist | Don't really know if it counts, but I can't stop listening to PORTALS lately. I'm obsessed with the album and I can't leave it for a second. I do have a playlist though, it has a few songs I'm obsessed with (ex. What are we gonna do now - Indigo De Souza, Sex on Fire - Kings of Lion, Grocery Store - Cavetown, and so on!) And I absolutely adore that one too.

-> Guilty pleasure | Probably redacted, honestly. Or shitpost videos that literally don't make any sense and shouldn't be as funny as they are, but I die with them. I also love watching ts4 builders making different building challenges/houses.

-> Facts about myself | I'm a really stubborn guy, and sometimes I try to do every possible thing to fix a problem either than asking for help from someone who I know can easily help me fix it. I don't like bothering people with things I think I'm capable of solving, or even with things I know I can't. I like baggy clothes, and when I go shopping, you'll see me buying clothes based on the fabric rather than the pattern/color/style. The first thing I check about any clothing item is if I like the fabric of it. And if I don't, I won't buy it at all, no matter how much I like it. I like dogs, the color red, watching kid shows, and eating ice cream in excess. I'm scared of darkness, any kind of horror games/movies, bugs, and loud noises.

I hope that's enough! I really can't wait to see what you do with me. And I'm excited to reveal who I am once you do! It was super, super, super fun to write this down, so I'm already having tons of fun. Tysm!!

Type Threes (and Eights and Sixes actually) can be characterized by their stubborn, can-do, do-it-yourself attitude. They either, respectively, feel the need to prove themselves capable, feel it is their duty, or feel doing it themselves is the only way to get it done properly. This gives you major Smartass vibes that would be balanced well by having Aaron as a partner. 

Aaron, as an oldest child and a high-achieving professional, is wonderfully capable and dependable. That doesn’t mean he needs to be or is capable of keeping that up all the time, but it does mean you can rely on each other when the other isn’t feeling up to task. Your independent natures can balance one another, give you a safe place to land and lean should you need it. 

Also, he strikes me as the type of dude who adores a good, weekly crime procedural. Aaron is so cozy and domestic in his own special way; I could see y’all being very much at home, on the couch, in your jammies, watching a particularly favored episode of The Mentalist together. 

Song: 

If there is a load you have to bear/ That you can't carry/ I'm right up the road/ I'll share your load/ If you just call me

Again, depending on each other is a throughline I think works very well for the both of you. Also, we know Aaron’s a fan of classic country, so him liking some classic soul is not a big stretch of the imagination. (Oddly enough, this works really well for Aaron and Elliott’s relationship too, and ain’t that a kicker.) 

Runner-Ups:

Huxley would be a good contender given he’s dependable and reliable like Aaron. I also have this adorable image of him growing the chamomile for your tea which I can’t get out of my head. David is the above traits plus dog. There’s nothing quite so simply silly as pairing a dog person with a werewolf lol

Note: I'm sorry, you were supposed to get this, like, two days ago, but the tumblr app kept deleting this despite all the times I hit save. Thank you for being patient!

Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

[leggerefiore]

How does it feel carrying the entire submas x reader tag on your back, gamer? You absolute king of fan fiction?

time to retire and returning to my jojo shitposting ways. has the scene where pucci hires the kkk been animated yet?

there's others out there with me; we pull the tag together! i am also certain there was another blog before me who was the sole ingo and emmet x reader content on this site.

#interna fi #of course i got inspired by r0-boat and maybe a yan ingo x reader x emmet fic i saw on wattpad #while in literal desperation for content for the boys™

[cathikesny]

MUTTONTOWN PRESERVE - LONG ISLAND

Should we talk about a place that I HATE and will not return to ever again?

I bet you weren’t expecting that, were you?

Would you also be surprised that it is a place that allegedly has buried treasure from a King of Albania?

💰: FREE (aren't the worst things in life always free?)

⏰: 9:30am to 4:30pm, 365 days 

🌎: 34 Muttontown Lane, East Norwich, LI (Chelsea Mansion)

♿️: not really? The grounds around Chelsea Mansion are manageable but don’t go to Muttontown Preserve

🏃‍♀️: it’s 550 acres and a maze, but sure! call it beginner if you want.

🐶: No pets, but I’ve also seen people walking their dogs and maybe you need an animal to guide you out of this hellhole

🚗: park by Chelsea Mansion, if you read nothing else, just PARK BY CHELSEA MANSION

📸: high Instagramability by Chelsea Mansion

📍: ancestral land of the Matinecock chieftancy

Okay, TECHNICALLY, I DID return very briefly a few weeks ago BUT that was only to get pictures of WHERE NOT TO GO. And I did not step foot out of the parking lot. This place gave me PTSD.

Why create what will essentially equate to a “shitpost”, you may ask?

Why not just NOT include it? 

Because people should be WARNED. 

I looked at the google reviews recently and finally found out I was not alone. For years this place has haunted me.

How did my friend, @himynameisnotjoby and I get SO lost?

We literally had a paper map PROVIDED BY THE PRESERVE and we STILL got the kind of lost where we started to get legit worried and it was getting dark and we were only getting MORE lost. The kind of lost that involved scaling fences and bushwhacking and eventually listening for the sounds of cars and just following that and hoping it led us towards one of the main roads, which by the way IS how we got ourselves UN-lost eventually. 

Muttontown Preserve deserves a post because it is a DANGER to Long Islanders. 

The amount of reviews on Google that mention just how deeply lost people have gotten over the years was staggering, and also validating for Joby and I. One person even mentioned that you shouldn’t go there without a literal compass because THAT is how big the potential for getting hopelessly disoriented in this hellscape masquerading as a “Preserve” is. 

According to the Nassau County website, Muttontown Preserve is 550! ACRES, making it the largest nature preserve on Long Island. 

Those aren’t facts, THOSE ARE WARNINGS! 

The same website also claims that “The preserve includes miles of marked nature trails with local wildflowers, trees, birds…” blah blah blah. MARKED TRAILS, MY ASS.

Allegedly, the trail markings HAVE been improved in very recent years, but I refuse to go back and see if that’s true for myself so if you decide to go, you are doing so of your own volition. 

There are four things that lure people to the Muttontown Preserve (of Lost Souls): 

equestrian trails

“safe” hiking for normal people WHO JUST WANTED TO ENJOY A NICE WALK AT A NEW PARK

Chelsea Mansion 

The hidden treasures of the last King of Albanian

So, where does one start? 

I guess, do you have a horse? No? Then don't come here!

I honestly think this place would’ve been less scary if at least I had been on a horse because also when you get lost for AS LONG as Joby and I did that ill-fated day, you start to get tired, which is also scary. My legs were TORN UP from bugs and thorny bushes. A horse would’ve, in theory, solved that. But we didn't have horses and unless you have one though, don’t come here. And even if you do... don't come here.

PARKING SITUATION (THIS IS IMPORTANT):

The problem for Joby and I that harrowing day, I think, was that I learned about Muttontown Preserve because I drove past it randomly (probably on the way back from a different park in the area) and drove past the Equestrian Parking entrance off of Jericho Oyster Bay Road/Route 106 and thought that was the only parking area. 

DO NOT PARK AT THE EQUESTRIAN PARKING AREA OFF OF JERICHO OYSTER BAY ROAD/ROUTE 106! I DO NOT CARE THAT IT IS THE CLOSER PARKING AREA TO THE OLD KNOLLWOOD ESTATE AND KING ZOG’S TREASURE. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FIND THE TREASURE ANYWAY, YOU WILL PROBABLY NEVER FIND YOUR WAY OUT OF THE PRESERVE IF YOU GO IN SEARCH OF IT. AGAIN, I WILL NOT BLAMED ON NEWS 12 FOR YOUR DISAPPEARANCE. 

I’ll get back to King Zog and the alleged buried treasures and the burned down remains of Knollwood Estate in the next post. 

IF YOU INSIST ON COMING TO THIS CURSED PLACE, here is my advice: SKIP MUTTONTOWN PRESERVE ALTOGETHER. 

Okay, here is my ACTUAL ADVICE: drive up to Jericho Turnpike/Route 25A and park either at the parking lot next to Chelsea Mansion or you can find the entrance around the corner from the parking lot by Chelsea Mansion and park there because that is a trailhead that is usually supplied with maps.

If you want to hear about Chelsea Mansion and King Zog I of Albania's buried treasures, watch this space for a Chelsea Mansion post coming later this week.

and also, let me just reiterate, Muttontown Preserve makes my “RUN AWAY FROM” list. You have been thoroughly warned. 

#muttontownpreserve #muttontown preserve #muttontown #long island ny #long island #longislandny #longisland #park #parks #preserves #knollwood estate #long island history #new york history #albanian history #albania #chelsea mansion #chelseamansion #cathikesny #hiking #king zog #king zog i of albania #buried treasure #dont come here #liny #new york #new york by a new yorker

[lampmanliveblogs]

It’s not magical TV, but I guess this is better than nothing.

Also, Eda has social media. Do you think she'd like tumblr? I think she could be a decent enough shitposter.

Hey Amity, long time no see. Hey, you wouldn’t feel like being in another episode soon where you and Luz figure out your relationship… no? Alright, just checking.

Now wait just a dang minute.

This fella sure has a skull for a head, with yellow eyes, fangs and horns similar to King’s, but longer. A replay of the scene also reveals this figure has claw fingers similar to King’s. This person is also furry and has a tail like King, but with what looks like a beard… and wings on the back?

So… is this King’s dad?? I… I feel like that revelation would garner a little more fanfare. Maybe it’s a relative? Someone from the same species? Whoever it is, it seems like they recognize the symbol from the tower.

There is a wagon in the background, implying this person moves around. Potentially in hiding from some enemy that forced them to leave their home island like I’ve speculated in the past?

Gosh dang it to the heck. I had a feeling, a teeny creeping feeling before that the ”King is gonna leave to look for his father” might be a fake out. Not only was it a fake out, but it was a stinkin’ adorable fake out too!

But yeah, this is what I was talking about before. Eda raised King and she is his family as much his father is… if not more, depending on how exactly you define family.

Ok, never mind, D’Arius is not all about that emotional growth like I joked before. He’d much rather torture Raine.

Hey, look, Raine’s hanging upside down… like a BAtT!

Uh-oh.

That… can not be a good thing. Not at all.

So Belos needs Raine for the Day of Unity, It is implied that he could find a replacement, but that it’d be too much of a hassle, so he’ll just force them to cooperate.

It also looks like I was right to suspect the Coven Brands. We already knew they could seal away a witch’s ability to cast any magic outside their chose Coven, but they can apparently also do… whatever this is. So it’s really not a far stretch to imagine they can also be used to drain magic from witches when the day comes to unite the Human and Demon Realms.

And that was episode seven!

I did my usual rewatch and here are some things I didn’t notice the first time or forgot to talk about.

•Katya was, of course, one of the prisoners in the Conformitorium that Luz freed in the first episode of season one. But in the scene on the town square where the BAtTs make their first appearance, Tiny Nose and the guy who likes to swallow his own eyeballs, the two other prisoners that Luz freed also make cameos.

•Speaking of the scene in the town square, what happened to the purple-haired wild witch the empire goons were trying to arrest? She’s there in one shot and in the next she’s just… gone.

•I didn’t comment on it, and it was a good thing because it would’ve been half the liveblog, but there was a lot of blushing going on between Eda and Raine.

•Willow was hanging out with her new palisman friend.

I really liked this episode. The stand out moments to me were probably Eda & Raine duetting Eda’s Requiem. That was a great moment in animation, music and story. but the episode was great overall. I enjoyed exploring some of Eda’s maternal feelings towards King & Luz and I hope we get to see more of that in future episodes. Speaking of things I hope to see in future episodes, I sincerely hope Raine make their return soon, because I wanna see where the implied romance between them and Eda goes. King changing his name was also a great cute moment.

I also liked that we finally got to see some bard magic. It’s cool. Oh, and we got some proper introductions to Eberwolf and Darius and some showcasing of what they’re capable of. What was that thing I said about how the heroes were gonna have to fight them?

I feel like there is more to be said about family and parenthood but that I lack the ability to express. I hope I did a good enough job.

Next up we have episode eight. I’ll get to it when I get to it. Until then, take care of the planet Earth and remember that anything can happen in space!

<--Previous Episode: Hunting Palismen

Masterlist

Next Episode: Knock, Knock, Knockin' on Hooty's Door-->

#the owl house #liveblog #the owl house liveblog #toh s2e7 #eda's requiem

[oneslimybastard]

Pick A Pile Tarot Reading, Snail edition

Aka a shitpost general reading made for my own amusement and practice. Please do not take it seriously! (Unless you want to ofc, I'm not your dad)

First, choose an image which resonates with you out of these three. This is your Pile.

Pile 1 Pile 2 Pile 3

Now, scroll down to your pile's section, and get your reading. I'll be using Wyrmwood's Corrupted Tarot because it's the deck I have and I like how mean it is :)

Pile 1

King of Pentacles, The Lovers, Eight of Cups, Five of Wands, Two of Pentacles

Seems as though you've picked a Struggle Pile, now that's unfortunate!

You are currently very low on funds, potentially due to a breakup. You gave too much too soon, lost sight of your own boundaries and before you knew it they'd sucked you dry and taken the house and kids. Fuck. God damn it. How did this happen??

Well.

You are, admittedly, kind of a pushover. You fear conflict and confrontation to enough of a degree where you'd prefer to clench your teeth and stew rather than have the conversations you have to, and move forward. This has cost you momentum, and you are currently locked in place. All the stagnant energy within you is growing restless, and it's about to pop off.

Which... good! You probably need to learn how to pop off and assert yourself more. But be careful. Too drastic of a change too soon will lead to disharmony and instability. It is deeply frustrating, but weigh your options and remain patient, and realistic. If you feel tempted to wrangle yourself out of your situation by taking on five million gigs that you think you can handle — spoiler alert: you can't handle them. Stressing yourself out by overcompensating just leads to burnout, and the cycle deepens.

Baby steps, slow and methodical. You got this.

Pile 2

The Chariot, The Hierophant, The Devil, Eight of Pentacles, Death

This is the feral pile baby and I am here to report that your energies of apeshittery are peaking.

After having been ground into minced meat to your wits end by your job you have finally had enough. Enough! Enough!! You've broken from the path paved for you, and feel as though because of it your life has spun completely out of control. Figures of authority are mighty upset with you right now, but not half as upset as you are with them, and as you are struggling to reign your shattered present together into something more cohesive and secure, you might be tempted to fall back in line.

To repent, to crawl back and all fours and beg for forgiveness like pretty pretty pretty please oh I'm so sorry for causing a ruckus. There's a period of uncertainty ahead of you, but most of it is rooted within your mind, and it's up to you to be brave and conquer it.

You might have been drastic, but it was for a reason, was it not? Embrace what has been done, own it, and your life will finally take that turn you have been waiting for all this time.

Change is scary, but stagnation kills the soul. Pull the reigns, keep going, you're bound to end up somewhere, at least. Believe in your own agency, don't surrender it to devils of the past.

Pile 3

Eight of Cups, Strength, Ace of Wands, The Hanged Man, Four of Cups

Ah yes, the clenched pile, welcome. Aw geez, you tell yourself with a nasaly voice. Aw geez, Rick. Ages of being a professional doormat, to others, to yourself, has left you paranoid — and a bit aggressive. Your temper is bad and has been for a while, you're just sick and tired of feeling used and overworked with nothing given back in return. You know this is not sustainable but what else are you supposed to do!? Nothing seems straightforward and easy, every path in front of you is laced with thorns, but it's not like you can stay put, either! This sucks!!

But don't fret, a wave of inspiration and energy is coming your way. And a large one. Perhaps a bit larger than you are fit to handle in your wrung out wet towel state.

As tempting as it might be to sit down with your arms crossed and say Nuh-Uh, I urge you to not reject yourself and your potential just so an external force cannot do so first. A creative project held close and intimate and made for you and you alone, not for other people, can be the push you need to get out of this rut and start to live for yourself first and foremost. Love your craft, love your skills and what you can contribute, and don't let people leech of it like they have, or you'll just end up here again.

But even if you do... heck, you can always try again! Annoying as it might be. Keep focus. Sometimes all you gotta do is move forward.

And that's it! I hope they weren't accurate because these were some struggle piles LFMAO Sorry about the divorce pile 1 gang, kinda baller of you to flip your boss off pile 2, and good luck with the boundaries pile 3.

#bootlegged tarot #long post

[thecatrical]

For your Zelda headcannon about why Fi didn't make WindWaker Link an adult is interesting, but it has another reason as well that could back it up.

WindWaker Link was never the chosen hero. He had to make himself the hero, and even then he didn't truly wield the hero's power through his own devices. King Hyrule was so blinded by his desire for things to return to what he saw was normal that he endangered the first child in green he could find.

WwLink was the perfect scapegoat and nearly died in every encounter with Gannon because he was pushed to fight an enemy he was never meant to tango with.

As for Ocarina of Time, my theory is that Link was destined to die as a child, so the powers of the sword and the sage of Time skipped over that period so it never happened. Or something along the lines of his child body not being physically strong enough, and people would ignore a child. He was literally set up to be forgotten, and his efforts were spoken of as legend, even when he returned to his child body. He was supposed to be the hero forgotten.

Sorry for rambling, but I hope this is some cool stuff to chew on :D

Two things

1. Yesssss

2. Rambling is fun don’t apologize for it, this is Tumblr, it’s made for dumb shitposts and rants

[apricotsndots]

She craves that mineral

#CriticalRoleFanArt #criticalrolespoilers #critical role spoiler #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #fresh cut grass #your king of shitpost has returned #campaign 3

[incorrect-lord-of-the-rings]

Okay, to combat depression, which has been rising up lately, I've decided to put together of little things I can look forward to.

On this list are seeing The Two Towers and The Return of the King in theaters

also YES I WENT TO SEE THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING IN THE THEATER AND IT WAS THE EXTENDED EDITION I just about DIED

So my sister and I are going to the next showings this week and the next!

But yeah it's helping, making a list of happy things. Things to be excited about. Christmas is up there too and I might have something planned for that, a little merry shitpost. Might do something for Halloween too!

Anyway, I'm gonna try to be positive. Not all like "I'm fine and my situation is good" but "I'm not okay but I will be and I have happy plans in the future."

So that's that. Enjoy your day, folks!

#personal

[lazi-fandom-kid]

Before I stop shitposting about the episode, I just want to say that

1) hope hooty isn’t killed for having eaten King’s letter. But jokes aside I really hope everyone starts treating him better and not just because he’s a house demon but also because he has feelings and those need to be acknowledged.

2) Eda tells Raine (whenever they return) that she didn’t mean to push them away like that. In fact I feel that Eda should probably join with her sister, their father and Raine to sort of explain why she was always out of it. Why she would lie and how she pushed everyone away out of fear. Basically just trying to mend her relationships with those she hurt. She’s already done that Lilith last season and not entirely done that with Raine, but she’s got her reasons

3) Luz and Amity talk about how they felt. I’m not just talking about the tunnel of love, I’m talking about from the library to the kiss to the tunnel and out into the craved heart. Yes they’re on good terms I mean come on they’re dating now. But I mean it’s always good to sit down with your partner and just talk about things like that. If you’re lucky like me, it’s more fun than angst

4) King Clawthorne starts accepting himself more (which he’s already kinda started in this episode) and starts talking about his emotions. Because it really seems that he’s bottling it all up again and that’s really not good. Especially now that he has powers because he might just end up on a rampage like Hooty did or blank out like Eda used to. Aside from blanking out or attacking, I just think it’s good to have him talk about how he feels. When he found out the truth about himself and how he got to the owl house, he was really upset. He had taken in so much. Who’s to say he doesn’t have anymore jumbled up feelings right now?

#toh s2 #the owl house season two #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers #toh s2 spoilers #the owl house season 2 #toh season 2 #toh king #king clawthorne #toh eda #eda clawthorne #toh raine #raine whispers #toh luz #luz noceda #toh amity #amity blight #lumity #toh lilith #lilith clawthorne

[fracturedsword]

It's been fun

As you've probably guessed by now I'm on a bit of an extended hiatus from tumblr. I have been for almost exactly two years now. The thing is I don't plan on returning here. Tumblr as a website feels heavy and like a chore to write on and something about it really screws with my anxiety. I also simply don't have the mental energy to write the way I used to.

I still RP with some people over on tumblr. And it's a very small group of people, five total in fact. If you need to ask if you're one of those five I'm sorry, but you're not. It's absolutely not anything on your end it's simply me trying to not spread myself thin and this handful of close, dear friends and treasured writing partners constantly click with my muses and mine with them. That doesn't mean the rest of you are bad in any way, hell I adore every single one of you who's ever written with me; it simply means I don't have the energy or focus to handle more. If and when Rolescape comes online I will likely be active there, but I will still be very selective. Until then this blog, along with @starsandmuses will be kept around as aesthetic blogs. Things that reminds me of my gaggle of muses will be posted here or there. @gladyourealive is my personal blog and will still be there, mostly reposting shitposts really. But writing here has come to a stop permanently. I'll also be tidying up my discord. Inactive RP servers will be left, or ownership transferred to my writing partner and then left. People I haven't talked to in forever will be deleted from my friends list. I don't do any of this lightly, but mentally I feel I need it.

Thank you for everything, you've all been lovely and we've made some great memories together. If you truly want my discord to keep in touch hit me up in IM's, I'll reply when I see it, but it might be a few days or a couple of weeks.

@kemuele @heavnofhell @thekingsparty @foreverfallen @chuckxalmighty @the-boy-king-rp @blabriel @featheredhunter I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the tag, if I did is wasn't intentional.

[lovelyjasmari]

Twisted Wonderland Reaction Part 6 ~ Yelling at the Tweels Edition

Finally! We are finally done with chapter 3 in EN! Hoping we get the beginnings of chapter 4 soon! ✨

Before we dive back under the sea, I’ll be posting the first part of my SECOND Danica vignette story this coming Friday. I honestly didn’t think I’d write a second one so soon after finishing the first but I had so much fun writing it. TWIST has taken over my life and has given me brain worms. So here we are. 😭

Now onto the fish mafia! Warning: pic heavy with a lotta swearing, shitposting, yelling at the tweels and one or two NSFW jokes. 🤐

When Trein’s cat catches you nodding off in class... 

Yuulan, sweetie, I’m think you’re becoming a tad too self-aware for your own good...

Ahh, don’t be like that, Mr. Grumpy-Puss! You know you’ll miss us when we’re gone! 

Damn right, Jack! LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!!! 

F 

Okay...so...this implies that The Little Mermaid exists in this world as a movie WHILE KING TRITON STILL EXISTS AS A REAL HISTORICAL FIGURE. And considering the implications with what happens later in the mirror...ahhh...my head hurts...

Also, I could literally hear the moans from the Disney execs collective circle jerk as they added this line. They aren’t wrong though, that last “I love you, Daddy” from Ariel never fails to pull at my heartstrings. 😭💕

BUT WHY DOESN’T THE MERMAN HAVE EYES?!

Aaaand, with the return of eel-Jade, comes the departure of God from the chat. I swear to God I’m not normally a fish fucker, idk what is going on! 😳😳😳

SHUT THE FUCK UP! I CANT EVEN ANYMORE! 💀

Well ain’t that rich! Coming from the man telling us to steal a photo from a museum. It’s probably a very cute photo too! 😤

And I have Tsunotaro to thank for it! 😁

Why does this sound like something I would have said like 15 years ago? 

Shut up, Grim! He’s trying to enslave half the school and repossess our house! A little bullying is perfectly appropriate! 

NO SHIT SHERLOCK

Oh wow, oh wow! Again, I know this is supposed to be horrific, but I LOVE THIS DESIGN! It’s so pretty! This is probably the most gorgeous overblot design so far. At least until I see Vil’s overblot. 

And what the hell were you talking about before, Azul? You look stunning as an octopus! SHUSH! 😍😍😤

SHUT UP! You aren’t one to talk when did the exact same thing in the last chapter!

SEE?! He agrees with me!

Floyd, sweetheart, my sweet feral child, please be stop talking before I beat you with a stick (affectionate). 

At least these two have the right idea, such good boys. ❤

Yuulan: It may be a raggedy ass shack, but it’s MY raggedy ass shack! 

Damn, sweetie, don’t look so thrilled to to see me. Especially when I brought you Dairy Queen. 😭

Ummm...thank you?

You’re gonna stop teasing me with those fangs, or no Dairy Queen for you! 

Nope. ya’ll just missed him. He’s probably fed up with you two squabbling over him all the time. 

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! Like I KNOW what it is, but WHY?! WHY?! WHY IS THE RAT HERE?! WHYYYYYYY?

When I showed this to my brother, he made an Unreality joke and said perhaps Mickey found Twisted Wonderland while trying to find Quadranum. I screamed into my pillow for a good 5 minutes. 

Yuulan: GET OUT OF MY...oh? Museum trip! Hell yeah I’m down for that! 

Jack simping for King Triton...😂

Ah shit, here we go again...

Welp, that’s all of chapter 3! Now let’s look at of Jade’s dorm uniform story!

I have never wanted so to be a shoe so badly, hell I’ve never wanted to be a FOOT so badly! Ughhhhh. 😭😭😭

Sometimes, these jokes write themselves. 🤐

LIKE HOW HE WORMED HIS WAY INTO MINE?! 👀

#twisted wonderland #jas reads twst #shitpost