#youre like fuck. fuck. not only am i hurting myself but i dont deserve to be hurting myself. people love me and i love them

[greenunoreversecard]

Don't hide your pain

-> Angel dust x reader

A/N: I made this of my own violation. I needed to therapize myself

Reader POV, ftm male, who's ✨️traumatized✨️

It always starts like this.

Things go well for a while. Things go great, even.

And then it gets bad. And it stays bad, and i ruin every close relationship and im alone.

And then it repeats.

I just wish I could be better. I guess that's why I'm at the hotel.

Things have been good for a while, so good, infact I though the cycle could be over.

Angel brought so much light to my life. He made me feel so happy, and wanted and needed.

And I was so much better. But it seems like the happier I was the worse i fall.

I sigh, rolling over in my bed, grabbing my phone. Fuck it's late in the day. Charlie will be upset, but i cant seem to care. I just- I don't wanna leave my bed.

I look away from my lockscreen, a blurry picture of angel in my Hoodie chasing after nuggets, who has his phone in his mouth, trying to run away with it. It caught angel off guard, and i was laughing so hard i couldnt get a steady photo.

Its one of my favorite memories. I feel a small smile tug at my lips, but my body and my face feel like led that I can barely move.

Theres a knock at my door.

"Hey, baby. Are you ok? Haven't seen you in a day, and I wanted to make sure ya alright.." I hear his quiet voice as the door squeaking lightly as Angle peeks in, silhouette gently illuminated from the light in the hallway.

I grumble in reply and roll over. He sighs, and for a moment I think he leaves but i feel him sit on my bed, next to me. I can feel his warmth. Despite having the features of a cold-blooded spider, he's always run rather hot.

He rests his hand on my back.

"Baby, I can't help you if you dont talk ta me"

Irritation rises in me.

"Don't. I dont need you. I dont need your fucking pity. Just fuck off, please." I say, voice rough and shoulders tense.

His determination doesn't deter, though.

"I don't pity you, love. I just wanna help."

I know my irritation is irrational, logically. But I can't help being angry. Angry I am this way, angry I'm so helpless. And I'm ahry he has to see me like this, considering he has it so much worse. He deserves better than this. Better than me. But I can't seem to stop the slow of my defensive anger, vomiting out words I'm uncertain seraid him I know they do me coming out my mouth.

"Don't pretend, angie."

"I'm serious, though. I want to help."

"Don't play with me. I don't need you, and I don't need your pity."

"Why are you doing this?"

This freezes me. I tense. I don't know why I do this. I don't know why I'm hurting him. I don't know why I'm hurting myself by hurting the only person thats treated me like a fucking sentient being..

I realise, at this point, he's as rigid as a brick, and I look over at him. He tears in the corners of his eyes, eyes slighrly red from the effort it takes to stop his tears. His hair is a mess, and he's shaking, God's he's shaking.

"I- please, sugar. I just wanna help you but- but I can't if you push us away. I you push me away. I- I don't wanna lose you. I can't fucking lose you. And I can feel you sliping and its- it's scary. Please, if not for you then for me."

At this, a sob wracks its way through my body, every viceral emotion I've held back hitting me like a dam destroyed. Apologies spewing through my lips like it's a lifeline. And in a way, it is. Because, I know hes right. And I know if I continue on the way I do, I'll be destroyed at my own hands. And I'll lose him, I'll lose my lifeline.

...

..

.

I don't know how long I cry for. It's all kind of blurry, really. I know i tell him everything ive hid from him about my life through choked sobs, and at some point he's holding me to his chest, gently stroking my hair, touch gentle but deep, afraid to let me go as if I'll disappear, or break like glass.

The good never used to last for long, but maybe this time I can make it last forever.

So long as I have him.

--------------

End note: vv rushed lmfao. Anywhore, hopes this gives a small gauge as to my writing style. I can also try my hand at different possibilities.

Hope ye likey likey

#no beta we die like jason todd #Hazbinhotel x reader #Hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel angel dust #Hazbin hotel fic #Angel dust x reader #Angel dust x male reader #Hazbin Hotel x male reader #Angel dust #Angst #hurt/comfort #Angel dust fic #Hazbin hotel headcankn #Hazbin hotel one-shot #Angel dust one-shot #Angel dust headcanon

[ysrjune]

Tell Me What You Want

pairing - scott monroe, sam monroe 🍒

summary - sam and scott are twins, both have a crush on you.

part 5! of tell me what you want

Scott stayed over at his friends house for a whole week. He had texted his parents that he was staying over, but not with a reason. He was old enough to make his own decisions, so they had only told him they loved him and to be safe. Scott explained the whole story to his friend, Ray. The poor boy cried his heart out to Ray after explaining it all. Scott was never the kind of guy to think being emotional was stupid or something to be ashamed of. Neither was Ray. “You'll find another girl, Scott. She doesn't deserve you.”

“Ray, you don't get it. I don't want somebody else! I want her. I've always wanted her.” He sniffled, making Ray sigh. He knew how much you meant to Scott no matter what you did to him. “Why don't you just talk to her, man. You've been ignoring her texts and calls all week.”, “Because I don't know what to say. Am I supposed to apologize? Expect her to apologize?”

“Why are you gonna apologize to her? You didn't do anything but love her. You only dated her for a couple of weeks, but I'm pretty sure you're the best boyfriend she's ever had.” Ray was right. You've dated guys behind your parents' back, but never lasted long because they were all jerks and only dated you because you're pretty.

Scott didn't reply to Ray. He just stared at the ground, mind blank. It's not like you were his only problem, either. He had to apologize to Sam. Even if what Sam did was fucked up, he tried to explain, and Scott didn't let him. Then again, he always forgave Sam for everything, especially when they were kids. “Scott?” Ray repeated his name for the 3rd time. “Huh?” His puffy eyes shifted to the boy.

“She's calling again. Are you gonna pick up this time?” Scott looked down to the ringing phone. He sighed and answered. “Hello?” He sounded so congested. You nearly think you're gonna have a heart attack just from hearing his voice again. “Bab—” He was quick to cut you off. “Scott,” Yeah, you really messed up.

“Scott,” you sighed. “Listen, you don't have to forgive me. I know what I did was wrong, and I should have told you. But I wanted you to know that I want you. You were the first boy to make every second count in our relationship. If you were on the phone while we were hanging out, you held my hand. You never stopped texting me throughout the day. You took me out almost everyday—you spent all your time with me. Dating or not. I know you probably don't want me anymore, but.. I'm sorry. You deserve the biggest apology ever.”

“I'm sorry too.” Sam's voice chimed in, making Scott a little taken back. “I'm your brother, I should act like it. I never meant to hurt you, Scott. I didn't know what I was doing. I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I did, but I hope you can. I don't wanna lose my brother's love and trust.” His voice cracked a little. It sounded like he was trying not to cry. “Please, Scott. I can't eat or even sleep knowing that you're this upset with me. I want my brother back.” It wasn't any form of lying or manipulation. You could tell Sam was genuinely sorry.

Scott was silent throughout the whole phone call. Not because he didn't want to answer, but because he didn't know what to say. He never ever received any apologies like this. Was he supposed to say it's okay? thank you? Absolutely clueless until Ray mouthed ‘thank you’ to Scott, helping him out. The blonde bit his lip and hesitantly answered.

“Thank you.” Then he hung up.

You and Sam look at each other, confused. “Um. Do you think he actually forgives us?” You ask Sam. “More like did he forgive us at all.” He sighed and turned on his back, grabbing a pillow and hugging it over his chest. “I think he needs more time. He'll come around eventually.”

“You dont know that.” You say, picking at your nails. “Kay, I dont wanna sound stuck up, but, like. I know he's gonna come back and accept our apology if he already didn't. Scott's a very forgiving person.” It did sound stuck up, but you trusted Sam's word. I mean, they're brothers. He would definitely know of Scott would forgive him or not.

Scott didn't come home until a week after your phone call. Sam told you not to come over either, so you waited even longer. You didn't even get any updates. However, you did hear yelling coming from next door. You could make out a few words, like “idiot” and “whore”. What if that was Scott saying that you're a whore? No, he would never.. you think.

2 days passed since Scott came back. You scrolled on social media to find that Scott had posted something on his story, but you didn't wanna open it too fast in case he has just barely posted it, so you decided to wait 15 minutes. God, those were the longest 15 minutes of your life, but once they were over, you clicked his story. It was a dumb photo of Sam side eyeing the camera with his smudged eyeliner and messy hair.

Okay, so things seem to be fine with them if both of them are in Sam's room. As long as they weren't fighting, you were happy. At this point, you couldn't think of reasons why Scott would forgive you. At least you didn't have them stop talking to each other for the rest of their lives.

Later on, Chris knocked at your door. He knew the whole story since the day after everything went down. Your brother was the only one keeping you sane right now. He offered to take you out to eat and to shop, which was super sweet. Did he think you were a slut? No, but was he disappointed? Yes. But no matter what, you're his little sister and will always be there for you.

He tried so hard to keep your mind off those boys and was successful, but only until he left. Today, he had news.

“Scott asked me if he could come over later. I'm gonna talk to Sam about Alyssa, and.. well, yknow. You're gonna talk to Scott.” Chris mumbled, holding your hand. He knew you were scared. What was Scott going to tell you? Was he officially gonna end things? You had no idea.

“Thank you, Chris.” He was confused. Why the hell were you thanking him? “For?” He asked, cracking your fingers. “For being there for me even when I was the one in the wrong.” Tears filled your eyes. He looked up at you and smiled, rolling his eyes. “Aw, come on. Don't cry, you dork.” He pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head.

“You're my sister, I'm always gonna be there for you.”

Tears were shed.. mostly by you—and lots of affection was shared the whole time you thanked your brother. But then the time came around when Scott was coming over. You quickly fixed yourself up while Chris went to the door to get Scott and leave to talk to Sam.

The door opened, and your heart dropped. Scott looked.. good? For some reason, you expected him to look like he's had no sleep or whatever, but he looked normal. “Why?” He asked, standing at the door.

That simple question really said a lot. You bit your lip, not knowing exactly what to say. He sighed, looking out your door, then back to you and closing it. “You had so much to say over the phone, but now you dont wanna say a god damn thing?” His words were a little cold, but his voice was soft just like it always was.

“Angel, come on. You don't have to be scared to tell me what was goin’ on. Im asking you why.” The name he always called you gave a little bit of comfort. “I dont know, Scott, I'm sorry! I was stupid. I didn't think about what I was doing!” Your voice cracked, and tears started running down your rosy cheeks. Scott seemed a little frustrated that you were the one crying, but he didnt say anything.

“I just had a thing for Sam, I guess. After we..” You looked at him. You didn't even say you had sex with his brother, but obviously, he knew what you meant.. and he looked sad about it. “But when we were done, he said he was never gonna do it again. I'm pretty sure he was gonna ignore me afterward.”

“So do you like me, or do you like Sam.” He made eye contact. Seriously, was he not gonna cry? It embarrassed you that you were the one crying. “I like you, Scott. I love you. I realized I took you for granted before we were together. I realized how much you really liked me and how great of a boyfriend you are.”

“Do you mean that, or are you just saying it so I'll forgive you.” How could he even say that, of course you meant it! “Scott, I mean it. I regret doing that to you.” He came closer, standing in front of you while you were sitting on your bed. “Okay, I forgive you.” He crossed his arms, sighing. “Do you wanna give this another try? I mean. I still have feelings for you, baby. Nothing will change that.”

Wow, he really was a forgiving person. It surprising he was giving you a second chance, and who would you be to say no. “Yes. I wanna try again.” You nodded, looking up at him. Those eyes he loved so much. Even though your eyes were red and puffy, they were still mesmerizing to him. “Well, I shouldn't have put it like that, I guess. We never broke up in the first place. So think of it as we're not in a tight spot anymore.”

You nod as he fell to his knees, now pretty much the same height as you. “You gotta promise you'll never do some dumb shit like that again. Not to me, not to any other guy if we really do end up breaking up eventually.” You nod. “Will you stop nodding at me and use your words, please?” His hands rested on your thighs. You wanted to nod again but didn't. “I won't do it again, Scott. I won't ever be stupid like that again.”

“Good.” His hands left your thighs so that he could wrap his arms around your chest. You slide a little to reach him and hug him over the shoulders. You buried your face in his neck, kissing it gently. “I missed you, Scotty.”

“I missed you too.” He rubbed your back and pulled back to see your face. “Can I kiss y—” You didn't let him finish that question. As soon as you heard kiss, you went for it. It was slow and passionate. It turned into a little bit of a makeout, but hey! who were you to complain.

Afterward, he wiped your cheek with his thumb and smiled. “You taste good.” He let out a little chuckle. “Like cherries.” You smile back, digging your hand into his blonde hair. “It's the chapstick you bought me a few weeks ago, remember. You said you liked cherries and wanted my lips to taste like them everytime we kiss.”

“Bold of you for assuming we'd kiss tonight.” He pinched your cheek. “Yeah, well, it was definitely an assumption.”

Hours went by while you two really got deeper into the whole thing. He told you that he was anxious about even coming over to talk to you and that he was actually just gonna end up breaking up with you after you gave him an explanation. But of course, he didn't, and also told you why.

More kisses were shared, along with hugs. “I love you, angel.” he whispered into your ear as you fell asleep in his arms.

It took the rest of the summer to even get a little more comfortable around both boys, but it happened. School started up again, so you didn't get to see Scott all day, but once you got home, he was outside your porch.

God, telling your parents that you were dating Scott sent them to another planet, but at least it was Scott! If it was anyone else, your dad probably would've threatened to shoot them. Sam liked to keep his distance from you, which was understandable. But that didn't mean he was gonna stop saying hi when he saw you, or give a hug here and there when you came over.

Scott was such a good boyfriend, indeed. Taking you out almost every day to hang out just to eat. When you were just friends, he got along with your parents just well, but now that he was over more, his dad LOVED him.. mostly cause Scott would actually pay attention to your dad's nonsense and genuinely enjoy it.

“I dont know how you dont tell him to shut up and leave.” You say, combing his hair while he laid in between your thighs. “I dont know how you do! He tells me all these things from when he was in high school and stuff. I like hearing about it.” He shrugged. “Mm.” You hum. He smirked and turned himself around, burying his face in your clothed crotch.

This made you a little nervous since, well, the last time he's ever touched you was THAT day. “Scott, what are you doing..” You asked, hips bucking when he rubbed his thumb up and down on your crotch. “Nothing. Can I not touch my girlfriend? Make her feel good?” He bit his lip, making eye contact.

Yeah, this was going somewhere good cause you being all nervous and shy turned him on real bad and ended up with him eating your pussy and fingering you. At least he was being slow and gentle. Your parents were home, too, so the risk excited him a little more.

And of course! he fucked you, too! he even recorded it.

Scott Monroe is the best boyfriend you could ask for. He always knows what to say when you're sad, what to do when you're mad, and how to just keep you happy. He loved you so much. He was already fantasizing about marrying you after 3 years of staying together. Yeah, you both were still young, but he was never gonna let you leave him..

-

I KNOW YALL HATE ME UGHH IM SORRY I JUST COULDNT DO DATING BOTH @ THE SAME TIME CAUSE THEN IT'D END UP IN MORE PARTS AND IM LAZY 4 THAT 💔 anyway erm!! the part where hes like ermm eating you out I was lwk thinking of it being like this (8:46 — 19:33) but jajaaj anyways tell me what you want is FINISHED 😈😈😈

@heartsforanakin @sockiess @anakinstwinklebunny 🎀

#hayden christensen #sam monroe #life as a house #scott barringer #sam monroe x you #sam monroe x reader #scott barringer imagine #scott barringer x reader #higher ground #scott barringer x you

[ad0rebrial]

Writing Prompts!

These are some writing prompts that you can request for! Please only use around 1-3 prompts!

The characters are simple, all of them will be Sally Face characters!

Angst ~ Emotional

“I didn’t mean to.”

“I never wanted this to happen.”

“Please believe me, I never wished for this to happen.”

“I’m glad that it had to be me and not you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Wipe that fucking look on your face.”

“This is all your fault and you know it.”

“I hate you.” / “I know.”

“All I ever wanted was for you to finally be proud of me for doing something.”

“I’m scared to die alone.”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“It is better if one of us leaves.”

“Please forgive me.”

r“I wanted to love you, but I just couldn’t-“ / “Why couldn’t you?”

“I watched you change in the most disgusting way.”

“I’m sorry i’m not enough for you. I’m not enough for myself either.”

“I love you.” / “I love you too __”

“If it had to be one of us—I would give my life to you.”

“Please, kiss me one last time before I go.”

Romantic ~ Fluff

“Your the reason as to why I’m alive, you know that?”

“I love you more than anything.”

“If you give me a kiss then I’ll leave you alone.”

“I love everything about you.”

“Hold me.”

“You make me feel like I truly mean something to the world.”

“If you were to be able to date another person, would you leave me?”

“I want to stay with you forever.”

“You’re the only person that truly ever loved me for who I really am.”

“I’m blessed to have you.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You have the most prettiest smile.”

“I feel ashamed to even look at you, that’s how much I love you.”

“I love it when you do that.”

“Am I special?”

“Don’t look at me like that…” / “Why not?”

“You look pretty when you blush.”

“You are a very touchy person.”

“I got this just for you.”

“You deserve it.”

“I promise that I won’t ever leave you.”

“Don’t tease me like that.”

“I never loved a person like how much I love you.”

Miscellaneous

“Why are you sitting so close of me?” / “…no reason.”

“…Are you even listening?” / “What?”

“Just talk to them-“ / “I can’t their too damn fine..”

“Would you love me if I turned into a cat?” / “…”

“…You did not just do what I think you just did.”

“…Can you stop that?” /l “Stop what?—“ / “That.”

“Leave me alone.” / “But I don’t wanna.”

“What if I literally just…make out with you RIGHT NOW?—“ / “SHUT UP.”

“THEY LIKE YOU!!!!” / “NO I DONT SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“Okay—you’re just gonna go up to them and-“ / “I’m scared.”

“No.” / “yes.”

“Can I have some of your food?” / “…Did you not just eat?”

“Get off your phone and pay attention to me” / “Fineeee…”

“Can you stop stealing my things?” / “…I thought we shared these things…”

“Who ate my food?” / “I did. I got hungry.”

“Are you mad at me?” / “No? Why?” / “Because you looked at me weird.”

“What would you do if I just disappeared?” / “Cry.”

“Someone hurt my feelings.” / “I found their address.”

“You don’t need makeup.” / “And I don’t need you. How bout that?”

“Your mean.” / “Okay.”

“*ranting about things* / “*listening silently.*”

Random Prompts

Cuddling together while watching a horror movie.

Very affectionate person / Touch-starved person.

Comforting partner after they had a nightmare.

Playing games.

Sleepovers.

Creating a special handshake.

Skipping class together.

Sneaking out

Getting lunch together

dates

sky-gazing

picnic

Hobby sharing

Prom night

Anniversary

Shy / Outgoing

Introvert / Extrovert

matching outfits/bracelets/necklaces/etc

shopping

Confessions/Awkward confessions

Taking care of one another when sick

Swimming together

Caught staring

Playing with each others hair

silent treatment prank

Couple Pranks

Couple goals

Baking together

Celebrating birthdays

April Fools

Summertime activities

Winter time activities

sleeping together

Losing each other in public

Obsessing over each other (healthy manner)

Playful fighting

Spoiling each other

#sally face #sal fisher #sally fisher #sally face x you #sal fisher x you #sally face oneshots #sally face fluff #sal fisher x reader #sally face x reader #sally face imagine #larry johnson drabbles #larry johnson x y/n #larry johnson fluff #larry johnson x you #larry johnson imagines #larry johnson x reader #ashley campbell #imagines #drabbles #scenarios #fluff

[bonefall]

i like how you show how abuse can warp someone’s judgment and make them do things they don’t really believe in gray wings arc in this feels much better then in canon and actually sets out to show him how they intended too

It's easy to sympathize with victims of abuse and products of toxic families when they're "innocent" and blameless. There's this idea, spoken or unspoken, that if you ever lashed out, or begged your abuser to stay, or went on to hurt someone in a similar way, that you're LESS of a victim

People get locked in those cycles, thinking that their abuser, or their toxic family, is the only one who will ever "tolerate" them. Sometimes people don't want to believe they've been hurt, or that their family could be toxic, because confronting that is painful. Sometimes it's just love. Sometimes you really can love someone too much.

Sometimes you REALLY fuck up and hurt someone else. You do stupid, mean shit. Abuse isn't logical and pain isn't either. There are times where you realize it too late, and only realize it when you're staring at the smoldering ash of a burned bridge

And I want to write that. People who are hurt and hurt in turn, people who perpetuate those cycles, people who break them. You deserved better, and the people around you do too.

Sometimes I legitimately worry about the writers of these silly cat books. They keep writing the realest, most harrowing depictions of toxic family/abuse I've ever seen in my fucking life and then turning around and saying, "and then it was all fine :)" like... are they okay?

Gray Wing would mean a lot to me if this was intentional, but he's RIGHT in the end in canon. "Ohhh he wasnt greedy he was just scared and had too much responsibility :))) i dont have to reckon with anything i said ever :)))". Clear Sky's "redemption" drags the entire arc down with it.

So I am here. Furiously writing foe fiction. Feeding myself.

#Tw abuse #Tw toxic family #Glad to see it land though #I think Gray Wing can be more painful than Clear Sky because it's a lot easier to see yourself in BB!Gray #Clear is funny. It's easy to laugh at how fragile his ego is and how callous he is #But seeing a wise person be pathetic when they should know better is uncomfortable and painful #Xeyre a kind of bad that's so banal it's excruciating #Annoying even. #At least that's my thought

[violottie]

I cant stress enough how much bi lesbians and bi lesbian discourse flared up my SO-ocd, I was fine for a few months and then I returned to this side of tumblr and I get reminded of them. One of my worst fears is that I am somehow a “bi lesbian” or if after all these years of questioning and finally coming to the conclusion that I’m a lesbian I’ll turn out to be straight in the end. Idk if I should have stayed on the art side of tumblr but where else do I find other lesbians??? I wish I could go back to when I didn’t know “bi lesbians” existed it was easier back then. Apparently the only thing to make intrusive thoughts subside is to be like “so what if I’m not a lesbian, who cares” but I cant do that. I wanna go back to when I didn’t know there were people who deliberately fake being gay because that’s also one of my fears,, even though when I realized I was a lesbian it felt like I REALIZED it rather than chose it

(this is gonna be long but it's very important to talk about so just a heads up on that)

i am so so sorry to hear this, and im infuriated that these fucking creeps in the "community" have caused not only so much blatant lesbophobia to spread but also have caused so much harm to lesbians.

i am right with you because ive been through, and still go through sometimes, what you're experiencing. its terrifying that all this bullshit can snowball and make any doubts we lesbians already have from living in this heterosexual patriarchal society double and multiply even more viciously.

my internalised lesbophobia has worsened also. i doubt myself alot and more often thanks to all this bs. its... i dont even have words to express how damaging lesbophobia, especially from within the "community", is.

it causes harm and trauma and pain and suffering for lesbians, but all these stupid juvenile shits just think it doesnt matter because "uwu theyre so kweer and cool now"

it sucks... but i need you to know it is not your fault that you feel this way.

no matter what anyone inside or outside the community says, and no matter what your spiralling thoughts might make you believe as a result of lesbophobia inside and outside the community, you are not straight, you are not a "bi lesbian", you are not bisexual. you are a lesbian.

i know it is so so hard to just say but i promise you, nothing they say will ever ever change the reality of your lesbianism. i promise you.

it hurts, and its beyond infuriating to have to share space with these disrespectful bastards who coopt our lived experience for a moment of attempted self-actualisation, and that pain deserves to be acknowledged and soothed, not pushed away.

i wish i could give you a hug rn honestly because this shit just fucking sucks. i too wish i could go back to the time when these idiots werent even a concept in my mind or memory, but if there is any advice i can give you to help ease the torment of this constant barrage, it is this:

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

1) know, for a fact, that nothing anyone, and i mean ANYONE says and no matter how loud they say it, will ever change the lived and exact reality of your innate sexuality.

nothing will ever magic away your lesbianism. it is wired into you, it IS you, a very central part of your personhood. that is not something that any words, especially words shat out of the asshole of a dickhead child on the internet, can ever change.

im not disregarding the hurt, im just reminding you that who you are, who you truly are, cannot change because of the words that hurt. especially because you know deep down that those words are not true.

because being a lesbian is who you are. it is not a quota to reach, or what you do, it is who we are. innately. you know where your natural attactions lie, what genders draw your attraction exclusively and without effort. you know that deep down. we are literally born this way. words cannot change that.

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

2) the best thing to do whenever you accidentally glimpse said bullshit is to block them and focus on uplifting the actual lesbian community.

lesbians community is such an integral lifeline, i cannot emphasise the sheer importance of enough.

these idiots are, after all, idiots and do not deserve your energy, your time or your pain. they will never matter, and the truth is, they only exist on the internet among weirdos who have no sense of self so seek it by stealing bits and pieces from other peoples personal experience and identity.

they are and always will be inauthentic, unlike you.

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

3) find and focus on the joy of your lesbianism individually and in lesbian community with other lesbians.

We lesbians are blessed to experience the best kind of human life possible: lesbianism.

our sexuality is bold and strong and proud and beautiful and brilliant and effervescent. it is perfect and brave and worthy of honor and praise and celebration and respect.

our community of lesbians is just as exquisite as we are individually. we are diverse and divine. every butch, femme, stud, stone, masc and feminine lesbian; every trans woman, transmasc, transfem and nonbinary lesbian; every black and brown and lesbian of color; every aromantic, asexual, aroace, non-partnering and polyamourous lesbian; every lesbian of every age and race is so overflown with wisdom and joy and love and brilliance. there is nothing more empowering as a lesbian and nothing that strengthens lesbian pride more than being in a community of lesbians and finding joy in ourselves through each other.

and im not just saying this to be mushy. i mean it. lesbians are divine, and thus, you are also divine.

you are perfect as a lesbian because you ARE a lesbian. you are incredible and intelligent and brilliant and brave.

nothing will change the brilliance of who you are, and in everything you are as a lesbian, you have a universe of lesbians who have been, who are and who will be, all of whom have not only been through the same and similar demeaning bs from the same kind of lesbophobic idiots, but they fought it back and survived and lived and thrived as lesbians.

you are just as strong as every lesbian who has been and is. and you are not alone. i promise you.

i am slowly rebuilding the community of lesbians on this blog that i had on my old one, but i promise you, on my blog you are safe. i swear, i will always always put lesbians first here, and that includes you. i will always defend and support and celebrate lesbians first here, and here you will find many other lesbians who will do the same.

❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

i know this was long, im sorry about that but i just need you to know that i see and feel your pain with you, and i need you to know that you arent going through it alone, and you are not alone.

we lesbians have always stuck together to defend and fight for one another, we have always survived, we have always been here, and we always will be.

i hope this reassures you in some way, and know you're always welcome and safe here ❤️🧡🤍🩷💖

#asks #lesbophobia #lgbtq #anti bi lesbian #lesbian #lesbian community #lesbianism #internalised lesbophobia #lesbian pride #lesbian positivity #proud lesbian #lesbian safe #lesbian blog #butch lesbian #femme lesbian #stud lesbian #stone lesbian #trans lesbian #transmasc lesbian #transfem lesbian #nonbinary lesbian #black lesbian #brown lesbian #lesbian woc #lesbian poc #aro lesbian #ace lesbian #aroace lesbian #polyamourous lesbian #non partnering lesbian

[sonicexelle-junkary]

Dude, are you romanticizing awful people like Jeffrey Dahmer or Armin Meiwea by putting up this show? Y’know the families of the victims are still hurt over him to this day… or are you an edgy insensitive person?

Plus, isn’t making him ND and ftm is awfully disrespectful to people from both communities?! My best friend is ftm and he got broke down crying saying how he hates people putting trans people as villains when he saw this.

Not shitting on you or your AU cuz your art is great TBH, just really curious or worried if you’re a Jeffrey Dahmer sympathizer?

FUCK NO! THAT MAN CAN BURN IN THE CENTRE IF HELL FOR ALL I CARE!

Ahem, anyways. I should clarify a few things regarding myself, my aus and what I put into it.

TLDR; I am not justifying or romanticizing cannibalism or peices of shit people like Jeffery Dahmer. I am also not trying to vilanize the trans or Neurodivergent community. I am just having fun with my ideas and art. It is not my intention to cause harm to anyone. It is just me fucking around with ideas.

Sonic isn’t ND and Trans because he’s a cannibal. He’s ND and Trans because he’s ND and Trans!

I, myself, am trans, I am Agender (He/They) and am Neurodivergent, I was diagnosed at a young age. I don’t like to put myself out there because it’s not really anyone’s business to know who I am. I use my art and AU’s as a form of expression, to vent my feelings in bizarre ways. This is not saying that I do wish to cannibalize or kill people, because I DONT and I don’t wish I’ll will on people (who don’t deserve it) either. I am an avid horror and gore lover, and love to create stuff in that genre, though not all the time.

HungryHero.EXE is based on MY PERSONAL HEADCANNONS OF EACH CHARACTER AND SONICS WORLD. It is NOT MY INTENTION to vilanize or create harm to the trans or ND community, or any community in general. As I’ve said, I am part of the trans and ND community myself, and I personally believe that trans rep is needed, good or bad. TRANS PEOPLE WHO ARE ASSHOLES CAN EXIST IVE SEEN IT WITH MY OWN EYES. Many other characters in HungryHero.EXE are also part of the LGBT or ND community as well, it’s not just sonic. Shadow himself is Agender and AroAce, even Tails is Autistic.

Sonic being the main character in HungryHero is just what I landed on, as I personally really like him, as well as he just happens to be the face of most Sonic.EXE AU’s. Him being trans and ND in the au was just because I just personally like the concept of him not being cis, as well as I see a lot of myself in him so I project myself onto him, it has NOTHING to do with vilanizing trans or ND people. I am also NOT ROMANTICIZING CANNIBALISM (intentionally). I know that it can be viewed in that way, but I PROMISE it’s not my intention to.

I think that absolutely disgusting people like Jeffery Dahmer should fucking get a punishment WORSE than hell. He has done the most DISGUSTING things I have EVER read a person could do and have not even a smidge of sympathy for others. People like that can die in a ditch and be burned alive for all I care.

If you are worried that HungryHero.EXE is my only au where I put my headcannons in, you’re wrong. I have TONES of AU’s that are not horror based and have Sonic characters being ND or LGBT, even if I haven’t explicitly said it yet. For example: my PIBTLW AU has him being openly gay and into shadow.

Please remember that this blog is just an piece of what I like. I don’t like to post really gruesome and gorey things on my main blog. This blog is not who I am as a whole, I am genuinely a very nice person, at least I try to be. If you still think that I am doing this to harm people, then I don’t know what else to say. You can block me if you like, but I’m not going to stop drawing things that I like to draw just to please people who think differently. I’m sorry, I won’t do that.

That’s all and have a good rest of your day.

#inbox #long post #important #rambels #serious talk #sonic.exe

[unfunnyaceartist]

Vent post ahead that may change your view on me and that may sound dramatic (NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE, THIS IS JUST IN GENERAL) Mostly just to get out my feelings. I only ask that if you look, to be kind and understanding and patient. Also the tags are silly and id appreciate if you read em. id appreciate if you didnt ask me anything on it

I feel toxic sometimes because i can get so jealous i borderline gatekeep things and I always feel so bad because its never intentional but then I end up hating myself because I know its unhealthy and irrational but I cant help it, and I know im so lucky and have a lot in many senses of the word, but at times it feels like they can be taking everything, because when I like someone or something, they tend to matter a fuck-ton to me. Im sorry to anyone ive lashed out at a bit for them wanting what I have, I really am. Its not coming from a place of hostility, rather a place of trauma responses and hyperfixation that stem from my adhd and autism but like when I try something and it goes great, and then someone else is like "OOH thats awesome I wanna do that too" It feels almost like when Im finally happy or excited or proud to have something, someone comes and takes it. Usually Ill play it off as a joke, but in reality, its complete honesty that im trying to soften so I dont upset anyone, especially when its over fiction or a person, because I do NOT own them and I know that, but it bothers me when someone swoops in to do the exact same things or even one-up especially when its really soon after me, and since my self worth is already abysmal, it just makes me feel worse, like I should be lucky to have what I do to begin with, but I feel the need to hold it close to me and protect it so I dont lose things that make me really happy.

Recently Ive even started reverse gatekeeping in response to others, where ill just tell myself I cant or dont deserve to have anything special because I'm not, and only others can enjoy this. But thats why people making me ship content makes me so happy. Its dumb to get jealous over others selfshipping with a character I like. Its dumb to get upset over someone I know copying or taking heavy inspiration from one of my ideas. Its dumb to get possessive over someone else trying to befriend my new awesome friends or wife/wives. I rarely selfship anymore due to my reverse gatekeeping and instead serve the others who simp or enjoy content. I provide since I feel I cant take. It makes me happy and distracts me. But the moment someone else does something similar to what is my toxic coping mechanism for my toxic coping mechanism, it only hurts worse. Thats why sometimes, for example, I get a bit snappy when someone else provides gummybunny (that and also shipping jealousy sometimes). Thats why I get snappy when I make a friend someone else super cool and then another person comes in and wants to befriend them (No darken, this wasnt directed at you, its happened more than once with more than one person but I know how you tend to assume). I LOVE giving but I hate sharing, because all my life whenever I shared, I lost something.

Introduce a friend to a friend? They leave me behind for eachother. Let someone wear my fitbit because they wanted to feel "rich"? It got stolen. Give money to someone in a "rough spot" who promised to repay me somehow? Never saw them again. I was always so trusting and understanding, and I always made excuses for others. Always so naive and gullible. So much so, in fact, that in elementary I kept letting my bullies pretend to be my friends when they claimed they changed, and let them destroy any ounce of worth I had whatsoever. Things that make me happy I CHERISH because of all the things ive lost and all my experiences. Ive never been hit, not once, but the abuse all my life came emotionally and mentally, and I only recently realized through therapy. Now its hard to trust people in certain situations. Sorry for my probably hard to follow and melodramatic rant.

sorry im dumb haha

#tw vent #By the time I finished writing the post I was no longer a mess about it but im still gonna post it #I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF I SEE ANYONE APOLOGIZING FOR MY OWN ISSUES IM GONNA BE PISSED #yall read all the tags its beneficial lol #Ngl SOME of this jealousy hits hardest with Gummy #because Ill FINALLY get fed some simp food for myself #and then yk #theyll kinda show up and ask to receive the same stuff #or act jealous #gummy #babe I love you #BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE FEEDING YOU GUMMYBUNNY CONSTANTLY???? #Like mine is rare and far between #and I dont draw much selfship unlike you #LET ME HAVE SOME THINGS DAMMIT #And then Darken over here when I get a cool new friend just like: #... is for me? 🥺👉👈 #/nm for both things #im the embodiment of envy and greed arent I... #I hate upsetting people #I just keep it to myself and internalize my emotions mostly #haha now you guys know how possessive and jealous I am #its giving yandere 🥰💅✨🗣💃🕺😍😘😼🤠🤭😇🙄🤩😜😝🤑🧐😈 #i regret my life choices right about now

[bombshelllblonde]

hiiihihii!! im backkkk to tell u abt my rdr playthough bc im bored asf haha

¡love this game omg!! the graphics, the story, the details UGH!!!!

hunting is actually so fun for no reason- i bought so many fancy ass guns too 😭

also my play type whenever i play ANY story game thats open world is to do every possible thing every except the actual story so i get a bunch of stuff and then its so muvh easier

in short i have 6000+ dollars 😋

bonus of exploring everything is i got thw white arabian and i love her sm ‼️‼️ i named her pearl and she is my baby

dress up is my seconf favorite hobby

my fav outfit rn is the red vest w the floral pattern on the front (i forget what its called) n the black french dress shirt underneath + the bison necklace talisman

(also arthur w medium-long length hair n short facial hair>>>)

this game is so detail oriented, its kind of insane- im doing a high honor run atm, and i came across the blind beggar for the third (?) time and the blind guy said and i quote

"that is which killing you will finally help you, friend- to hear and see."

is this foreshadowing this feels like foreshadowing

also ik arthurs dies (bc of tiktok edits and fics, they artists in this fandom is amazing!!!) and im not prepared at all 😭 im going to procrastinate so bad 

ALSO CHARLES DESERVES SO SO MUCH I LOVE HIM

yk the hole lil speech he has at the campfire yk "most human beings seem to know why they were born but, for me- its seems i was just mean ton hurt and suffer myself" that one

im bawling istg if he doesnt get a good ending im going to be writing a formal complaint to rockstar games

anyways

tw opinions (ik bro its crazy to have opinions in 2024 whattt no wayy)

ive gotten to the point in playing where im in ch 3, and the only way i can progress the actual story is to help micah rob a stagecoach or whatever

micah is a bastard and i dont like him

him as a character is rlly well written and awesome but,,,,,hes,,,slimy,,and i hate him,,,,so he can wait for a little longer ☺️

my favorite characters rn in no particular order is

arthur (obviously) , charles , sean , javier , tilly , marybeth , and kieran

my pookies ‼️‼️

moving on im so sorry this is so so long 😭 idk anyone who likes rdr irl lmao

anyway hope u have a nice day and no wolves attack you and spoke ur horse who bucks you off a cliff

(in rdr btw)

((true story also))

yo, having 6k in chapter 3 is amazing. good for you!

my first playthrough i got the white arabian and i named her Lemoyne Tree as a tribute to the state of Lemoyne and my favorite post malone song Lemon Tree. But she always got super dirty so i then went to the lake next to Strawberry and tamed the red chestnut arabian. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that one, she's gorgeous and arthur always gets that one when i play it. my beautiful baby girl Diablo <3

also yes. heckin FUCK MICAH BELL. even from the beginning he's been a slime ball. hate that man <3

i won't go too far, but just keep yourself high honor towards the end of the game. you need that to be your first ending. :')

Charles deserves the absolute world. just listening to him speak and hanging out with him at camp, and the missions you continue on to do with him throughout the game are so much fun. charles is someone i wish i could have in my real life because he seems like he would be the best person to speak to and hang out with. he is so lovely and down to earth. even arthur says it a couple times throughout the game. charles gets a good ending i promise.

my top blorbos are Arthur, Dutch, Charles, Hosea, and Josiah Trelawny my absolute beloved <33333 just wait until you go on the mission with Charles to find trelawny. one of my favorite missions ever ever ever ever!!

a lot of people dislike dutch, but i love him so much. he is my actual father. i love him.

i also hate john. let me know how you feel about that little greasy weasel of a man. :)))

i'm so so so glad you're having fun and i am very invested, so please continue to keep me updated on what ur doing because i need to live vicariously through you. if i could erase my entire mind and replay the game over and over again for the first time, i totally would

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr 2 #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #red dead redemption memes

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Hii i know im late but either kuron allura or lance for the ask game thingy you rbed like two days ago?

(i know i always pick these three but idk i just rlly like hearing your thoughts on them<3)

Yay!! I am so sorry this is late. Also heads up this gets long and really salty-

Kuron-

favorite thing about them- He's trying so much! He is not great at it and he was very much Doomed since the beginning and he lost every agency he never had to begin but my god he was Trying! He did not know he was a clone but he felt he that he isnt him and Haggar was still scouting in his head but he was still trying until he couldnt, my god i love him!!

least favorite thing about them- Other than the fact he fucking died??? Kuron babygirl please dont go behind your teams back and dont yell at people, i know you are Going Through It™ but still

favorite line- "Like i am not like myself" HAHAHAHA HAHA FUCKING KILL ME!!! orz

brOTP- Lance and Kuron relationship that lives in my head and has a special place in my heart, also Veronica and Kuron because i am too deep in That au i will make it a thing if only just for that au

OTP- Do i have to answer this one? I guess Kur.ance if you twist my arm but to be honest i still prefer it as platonic or qpr. I am not much of a shipper and he has aroace swag to me. Oh, also Kuron/getting to live as his own person aka the best ship ever

nOTP- I guess Kuron/Keith and Kuron/Lotor? Mostly because my rather uhhh negative opinions on Keith and utter disappointment with Lotor's character and annoyance with both of their stans

random headcanon- i have already talked about him being fan of reading but did you know he also writes sometimes? It is not *great* and almost all of them are wips because he is never sure how to end a story but he is trying

unpopular opinion- if i see one more "Kuron the evil mean clone" i will scream.

Other than- ok. You know how much i love him right? He is one of my favourites and i like him more than Shiro, you know that right? I need you to know and remember that when i say the next part.

Entire clone arc was just not needed. Like you could have had the same effect with Shiro being mind controlled and i personally feel it would have been better. Clone arc just overcomplicated an already messy plot, added even more elements and questions that went absolutely nowhere, left behind a shit load of plot holes, became the final nail in the coffin of Shiro having any possible arc or development, and added a new sympathetic character just to kill him off as a plot device.

And the entire "You are my brother Shiro, i love you" who is it for? Literally who is it for? It would have been much more heart wrenching if it was mind controlled Shiro but we clearly established that is not him. That guy is not Shiro, and Keith as i recall had like 3 on screen conversations with him, 2 of them being strained and then Keith just fucks off with the Blades for most of 3 seasons. It is not for Kuron cause narrative is insistent that he is ~evil~ tool and later on they use his body to get Shiro back. So like, who is it for? Other than to show how sad and angsty and great and amazing writers pet Keith is of course but that is the whole goddamn show.

Like i love him and he did not deserve any of That and i am going to keep making up aus where he lives but the entire pointlessness of clone arc angers me so much

song i associate with them- Being a basic bitch here but Control by Halsey

favorite picture of them-

honestly every scene with him having long hair is just>>>

Allura-

favorite thing about them- Allura is just so genuinely kind, like she goes from one traumatic event after another and loses everything she had and she is rightfully angry and hurt and upset but she still remains kind and does everything so that others dont have to go through what she did and so she sacrifices what little she still had

least favorite thing about them- why is she fucking dead 🥺🥺? Girl wake up, also as much as i love her i am not forgiving her for entire using-Kuron's-body-to-bring-Shiro-back.

favorite line- "So how would you rate your bloodlust level from 1-5?" Let her be silly please!!!!

BrOTP- Allura and Shiro!! Also Allura and Hunk!!! And a number of interactions between Allura and Lance post s3 too!!

OTP- Free my girl hasnt she suffered enough?? (I do have soft spot for early season sha.llura moments and many allurnce moments)

nOTP- i guess l0tura and k@llura? For similar reasons as above

random headcanon- pre-Altea's destruction Allura was the most daredevil person ever. You could dare her to eat a ghost pepper and she'll do it just to prove she can

unpopular opinion- No longer saying 'the situation is much more nuanced' and 'she was traumatized, it is understandable' about the galra reverse racism bs and instead going she was 100% in the right actually. If this fandom can forgive Lotor for getting thousands of alteans murdered and straight up lying to the woman he says he loves about her own people and forgive Keith for abandoning his teammates and almost getting them all killed by claiming they were sad and traumatized than they can also forgive a black coded genocide survivor not liking a race that has been colonizing and murdering the entire universe for 10000 years including her own people

song i associate with them- Queen of Nothing by Crane Wives

favorite picture of them-

Look at her smile

Lance-

favorite thing about them- my boy?? My most favourite boy??? Literally everything?? Ok but seriously i have talked about this before but he is complex to me, i love there is so much duality in him he is someone who is kind would die for a person he met like 2 days ago and did not get along but also is just an absolute obnoxious cunt. He is an emotionally mature guy who understands his own feelings but also is just sooo douchey class clown. He wants to be a cool talented hero, he has the capacity to be that but he wants to be seen as one and in his attempts he ends up screwing himself over and comes out looking as anything but that<33!! And he is loyal and goofy and lovable i love him

least favorite thing about them- i would not have liked this fucker if i met irl specifically s1-s2 him at all. Also the fact they did not even give him an arc like why would you do this to him. Also his fanbase, i cant tolerate 70% of his fanbase and the fact that i still love him is a testimony of my love for him itself given i have hated characters and left fandoms for far less

favorite line- "You ever notice how far the planets are from each other, Coran?" Why did they have the goofball say shit like this if he was meant to be just a goofball

brOTP- Everyone <3, he deserves more friends but mostly Hunk, Kuron, and Allura

OTP- i like most Lance ships actually, though there is a specific han.ce au i have in my head that i adore

nOTP- *sighs* kl4nce. It's just sooo Everywhere, i go to Lance's tag and it is all this ship, nearly every s8 fix-it thinkpiece i have seen moans about how Lance was reduced to Allura's bf only to reduce him to Keith's bf and all of them yell about how the only problem with vld was that kl didnt become canon as if all the racism in the show doesnt even matter, and i am so goddamn tired of this like i cant even joke about Lance having terrible taste in men witjout someone bringing Keith up, and i dont hate the ship (and sometimes i even enjoy it) but i am done with this

Random headcanon- he can play violin pretty well! But he also hates playing violin

unpopular opinion- this is coming from someone who only likes and cares about Lance ships but i think he shouldnt have had a romance arc with anyone. I have said this before but he is so obsessed with keeping facades and the romance loverboy is one of those facades. At most he should have had like last one out of beach city episode from steven universe, where he gets a partner by just being himself instead of the flirty loverboy persona

song i associate with them- Top of the world by Greek fire

favorite picture of them-

He looks great when he is on the verge of death

#empty answers #Using leet speak because i dont want this to go in tags- #Understand that my dislike towards L0tor and K3ith do not come from their flaws #But how the show and the fandom handled said flaws #Hoo boy this got long #So sorry this is late #Thanks for asking

[physicsfox7]

I was just about to go to bed. I was thinking about all the time ive spent the last few weeks with my friends. We talk, we play games together, we stream, we watch videos and trade stupid memes. We support each other. Then I had a realization.

A bit of backstory first, for anyone who doesn't know (how could you not? I never shut up). Growing up, my dad worked all the time to provide for us, so I spent all of my time with my mother and sister. Over time, this developed in to "I dont know how to interact with guys." I mean, I do. Now. As long as its not the hypertoxic, hyper masculine nightmare that I have abhored since I was young.

I have always hung out with girls. In school, 4 of my closest friends were girls. I was always surrounded by a group of girls. I'd rather sit with them. Yeah, I know they can be toxic and vicious and gross too. But for whatever reason, I can talk to girls in a way that I can't talk to guys. (There are always exceptions to the rule, and yes, a couple of my dearest friends are guys, and we can vibe)

Anyway, on to my realization. A large portion of my friends are trans. There is an inside joke about this that is way too funny, and I still giggle when I think about it. Some of my friends I knew before they figured out that they are trans, some I met just after, and some have been on HRT for a time.

I have surrounded myself with people who have every right to be angry, to hurt others, to hate the world. Not for who they are, but for how they are perceived and treated. What the US government is doing might be the most disgusting thing I have heard about since the 1930s. My friends have been spat on, they cant go outside as themselves, some have been verbally and physically attacked. And every other trans person has to live woth that thought every day. They have every right in the world to want to destroy people like me. Cis, White, American males who have grown up knowing little to no hardship (I do whine a lot, but that's for the other bits of my blog) and being happy and comfortabla and feeling at home in my skin.

But they don't. They aren't mean. They are warm, and genuine, and wholesome, and caring, and doting, and loving. Every single trans person I know, without fail, is a lovely human being.

From personal experience alone, they have gone out of their way to make me feel included, and important. They help me when I need help, they spend time with me, they do things that I'm interested in and talk about my topics of interest. They support me in new and ever expanding ways. And they're happy to do it. Its not false, they aren't trying to get something out of it. In all reality, I dont have a lot to offer and I'm pretty clear about that when I start talking to new people.

They are just kind. I can't say for sure why that is, but I strongly suspect they get up every day and see the hatred aimed at them and consciously decide to be a positive force in the universe, even when they're being beaten down.

I am awe inspired. I want to be a better person and a better friend because my friends are so good to me. And frankly, I dont deserve them.

I was a terrible fucking person just 5 or 6 years ago. All the usual tropes apply, I'm not going into it here. If you care enough ask in the comments.

But for all of that, and yes, I have talked with each of them about what a PoS I was, they still show me love and kindness. I dont deserve friends like that, but I will forever try to earn the love and respect they have shown me.

Please, if you can, please hug your trans friend for me today. Because none of mine are close enough, and the only thing I want in this world is to show them that they are genuinely loved. And who doesn't like hugs?

Growing up, I had friends. Who doesn't? Some were good, some were better, some were bad. But what I never had was a family. And that's exactly what this is. I hate calling it a found family, because I didn't "find" them, they saved me. We are together, as a cooperative group for the betterment of each other and the world around us.

I will endeavor every single day to make the world around me better, and try to show the genuine compassion and caring my family has shown me, to others.

That joke? My handle across every single platform is Fox, in one manner or another. I have adopted it, and for all intents and purposes it is me. Foxes like eggs. Its a small thing, but when my friend said it to me, I thought my heart exploded. I was allowed to be included. I am included, I'm not secondary or tertiary, I'm not on the sidelines. I may forever be the wallflower of the family, the one who is willing to walk behind everyone else because the sidewalk isnt wide enough, but I will forever sleep better because you let me be part of the family.

I have unconsciously surrounded myself with people who will show me patience and kindness, compassion and love. I might not have gotten enough of that growing up and that's why I searched it out. But I have found the place I belong, and it's only fair that everyone else does too.

I say this all the time, but I hope its not too old. Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives, letting yourself be shared with me. I love you so dearly (this goes for all of my family and friends, but i bet you already knew that) that my heart feels it might burst.

And seriously, go hug your trans friend today. Just pick one, give them a warm, attentive hug, and when you pull apart, tell them you love them. Dont ever stop telling your friends you love them.

I generally dont farm interactions, it feels cheap. I mean this with all sincerity: tell me about your trans friend in the comments. I dont care if its one sentence or one thousand, I want to hear something you love about them.

So for once, new rule: do interact, do comment and repost. I want to hear about them.

💚

#actually autistic #transgender #trans rights #wholesome #found family #appreciation post #thankful #i finally feel like i belong #long post #hugs and kisses #stronger with support #support

[hexitca]

Rant about Puritan fandom culture!

Well I typed it on twitter but then I had more to say so tumblr it is!

Under read more

WARNING: Long as fuck

Here's some pics

I know I basically said the author of Heartstopper "brought it on themselves" but yea they kinda did.

You can disagree with BL/Yaoi you can hate the shipping discourse or shipping in fandom in general but you cant frame it in a "i hate [that] bc it's sinful/fetishistic and I'M ABOVE THAT BC I'M WHOLESOME AND BETTER THAN THOSE DISGUSTING SHIPPERS"

bc that's gonna bite you in the ass...as it is doing now. The fucking image of their character's google history is so tame and normal, esp in LGBTQ+ spaces! Yet they are being called a pedo? Crazy. In the end, you only hurt yourself!

I never bothered with HS bc i just wasnt interested in it but thats just my preference. It's sad to see ppl, esp young ppl, turn on a series of LGBTQ+ representation just bc of the author's past (or current? idk) stance on the BL/Yaoi or MLM or whatever genre just bc their stance wavered a bit in a simple comic image. Something that is so fucking normal also! but they will grow up and realized how limiting it is to restrict themselves just to appear pure within a group.

Yet the artists/writers/creators are traumatized by the witchhunt. I know I said the author brought it on themselves for supporting anti but damn I don't want them being accused of being a pedo! Or ANYTHING! NO ONE DESERVES THAT. I dont know anything about the author other than surface knowledge but at the end of the day, all this online shit, doesnt matter. It doesnt! Me saying that is ironic bc im typing this post up right now!

but it's something we care about! I care about fandom spaces, I care that creators are getting attack for something as mild as this even if they invited these ppl into their circle. We're human and we change our views a million times a fucking day. I could agree with one thing and disagree with it another. That's why anti discourse pisses me the hell off! It's just a bunch of bullies looking to make themselves feel better by shaming others! I don't respect that type of behavior. And I hate that they just run around saying shit like "kys" over a two characters fucking?!? It amazes me beyond words.

Fandom has never been without its discourse. But the puritan bullshit is not even fandom discourse, it's just straight up bullying and harassment. It doesnt take much to tailor your fandom spaces to your preferences, i should know ive been in fandom spaces since I was fucking 13 years old. I didn't explore nsfw/porn/anything until I wanted to when I was 18. That is MY personal experience. I never put that on anyone else BUT MYSELF. If I saw nsfw and didnt want to see it I blocked the person. Not make a fucking witch hunt out of it. You are in charge of keeping YOURSELF in check not some person who shared nsfw art/fanfic. How fucking hard is it to turn the "don't show me nsfw" toggle on??? Bc it's not about that. Y'all just wanna be mad and be above someone so why not ppl minding their own business.

And guess what? There ARE ppl who are bad and support nsfw art/writing. They fucking suck. They are outliers and deserve to be called out when they get exposed. But many times, ppl always go "see i told you all the ppl in THAT fandom were pedos/freaks/etc" hmmm sounds like when conservatives go "see...that queer person turned out to be bad, SO all queer ppl are bad" DO YOU GET IT?? It never works out with that line of thinking. You are harming innocent ppl minding their own business. You are harming yourselves when you grow the fuck up and realize that "OH actually...I am curious about sex" and have ppl who you thought were your friends eat your face. PLS wake the fuck up.

If you're an anti:

I hope you recover from that

go fuck yourself

if you're offended by me saying "go fuck yourself", pls take that as a sign to log off the internet and go touch grass. As someone who has done that many of times, it's very refreshing.

#fandom #fandom culture #fandom discourse #purity culture #i might go touch some grass for the rest of the week/weekend holy shit #this is why i try not to be on twitter a lot bc tumblr im at least in my own spaces with minor breaches of stupidity #twitter it just throws it in on my tl and i get fucking triggered and angry #ill be taking a long break from twitter holy shit

[anti-endo-haven]

I dont know if i can take it anymore i havent felt human in so long. Im an introject of one of our abusers. Ive been trying to separate but he fucking made me he made me he knew what he was doing, he was a system too, he studied what he was doing. he enjoyed researching it hed rant about how he enjoyed researching it and how he intended to kill us one day and how wed never leave him and i dont know hat im even on about i just cant take it anymore im just mad and so tired its tiring to resist the urges to hurt myself its exhausting to not kill myself its all im supposed to do now and i cant do it and im isolated because nobody is comfortable around me because he abused everyone in our friend group in one way or anotuer and i admitted who i am after trying to pretend to ve a different alter after i started recovering and ifs fucking painful they have a right to discomfort but nobodg ever interacts with me no matter what because i cant hold a relationship and i can never front long enough if im not in some kind of pain or upset i onlg exist to suffer

Hey, sweetie. I know it’s tough right now, but I’m super proud of you for getting everything off your chest.

Just because you’re an introject on an abuser doesn’t make you bad right off the bat. You’re trying to do better and that’s already a great start.

I’m sorry that you’re only around when you’re in pain or upset, but I’ll be here for you. It’s okay to cry to let everything out, hon.

I’m sorry that there are people that are uncomfortable with you, but you have a space here, okay?

I know it might not seem like it, but I’m sure you’ll get to wonderful places on a healing path. I’m absolutely sure of it. You’re doing what you can, but be patient with yourself as well. Don’t overburden yourself. Relax when you’re able to.

I hope things can get better for you soon. You’re doing enough. You’re good enough. I’m proud of you. You’re loved and cared for and you deserve that love and cared. You’re still a being.

Hugs for you. 🫂🫂

And a cookie 🍪

#anti endo #did system #system #osddid #endos dni #traumagenic system #actually did #endos not for you #actually traumagenic #did plural #did plurality #osdd plural #osdd plurality #tw suicide vent #tw suicide implied #tw sui mention #tw suicide mention #tw abuse mention #tw abuse #tw sh mention #tw self harm mention #anti-endo-haven-vent #anti-endo-haven-vents

[bloompompom]

BLOOMY!! HI :3

i did end up reading Puzzles on ao3 AND IT WAS AMAZING!! I don’t even know how to put it into words - i finished it and i came straight here to tell you

Honestly bloomy the way you write is so engaging and beautiful! haha i am blanking so hard on what the word is but ya got me hooked from the first chapter - and the way you characterise Eren is so perfect!! It’s like.. its a completely different Eren because its not canon obviously but its also not your typical college au BUT ITS EREN DOWN TO HIS CORE.

i LOVED how you don’t just focus on Eren ; there’s so much quality in your writing of the friendships with the rest of the gang too!! Sasha, Mikasa and Armin especially

Typically the love triangle (sort of) trope doesn’t itch my brain right.. but the way you incorporated it was so smoothly done imo. It wasn’t to stir drama as much as it was to showcase how deep Eren and Jean’s friendship is no matter how much they fight (it felt very true to canon) . It also worked to show character development and growth for all of them and GOD i ate those 24 chapters up so fuckin fast.

And Eren (can you tell i love him so much bloomy?) UGH HE IS JUST SO… SBISBSKDNF BLOOMY I WANT HIM SO BAD

He is so disgustingly and effortlessly charming and it works so well with him and FUCK i would also jumble up my words and become a mess in front of him…ohmtgosh I got sidetracked - what i meant to say was — you showcase Eren’s internal struggles and issues with vulnerability so so so so well.

Like i know that you had to twist it to fit the context but i think the homage to canon Eren is done very nicely and THE LITTLE GLIMPSES TO S4 EREN WHERE HE SHUTS HIMSELF OFF TO EVERYONE AND PUSHES HIS THOUGHTS DOWN DEEP AND HIDES BECAUSE HE WANTS TO PROTECT THE PEOPLE HE LOVES AND SAVE THEM FROM GETTING HURT IM - SOBS

i wrote a whole essay for you and analysed your Eren but i promise i only do that when something is very dear to me (Eren Jaeger..)

i reblog a lot of your work and i know you dont know who i am but bloomy you are honestly so so so fucking talented and (all writers do but) you deserve so much recognition for the effort you put in

ill probably reblog Puzzles with this ask copied and expose myself…HAHAHA

NEWAYS BLOOMY THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS <33

seriously thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to tell me this!! i actually teared up (i’m sensitive okay) but really this is so incredibly kind, thank you

i started writing puzzles around this time two years ago so i sort of forget it exists tbh but it’s the first fanfic i wrote since maybe middle school and it’ll always hold a place in my heart for getting me back into writing. i was actually thinking about going through and breathing some life into it—which is why i admittedly have been so bad about uploading the rest to tumblr lol

all that’s to say, thank you so much for the kind words but also making me remember it! 🤍🤍🤍

#also writing the friendships was my favorite part i’m glad that came through <3 #love love love you sweet angel anon #bloomy asks