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strangeroseart · 6 years

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After Krolia left to continue her mission in space, Nathan started taking pictures and videos to document all the things he knew Krolia would be crushed to miss.

At 10 months Keith’s first word was the same as thousands of other children on Earth, but his father was still thrown into a quasar when he heard it. Anxiously getting out his camera, he tried getting Keith’s attention.

“Hey Keith, look over here. Can you tell daddy what you just said?” With a deep belly laugh, that he learned about a week before, he flails his pudgy hands and slaps them down on the soft baby blanket in front of him.

“Ma ma!”

For a moment all Nathan could manage was a sharp intake of breath, but his sons antics soon drew a smile on his face.

“What’s that, firefly?” he said. Keith’s response is to giggle and and slap his hands again. He chuckles, a little sad, but he keeps that out of his voice. “Nooo, that’s your blanky.”

It’s then that the baby boy screws up his face in an unpracticed look of consternation, grabs fists full of the blanket, and brings it up to his chest.

“Ma Ma!” He yells

“Keith that’s....” That’s his blanket, his purple baby blanket. He didn’t even realize the color when he bought it, just that it was soft and Keith seemed to like it. With a shaky voice he continued his one sided conversation.

“Do you remember your mama?” He slowly comes down to the floor on his knees, leaving the camera forgotten on a side table; father and son off center in its view finder. His voice now strained from holding back his sadness and the thought of his son recognizing the color of his mother’s skin.

“I miss her too, firefly.” He says while gently hugging his son on the floor.

It’s Keith’s first birthday and his father sprung for one of those small infant cakes instead of a simple cupcake. Close up, the one year old looks confused yet mesmerized by the singular lit candle on the cake.

“You have to blow it out like this,” Nathan says and proceeds to lightly blow on the candle making sure not to blow it out himself. Keith picks up on the example quickly and tries to mimic his father by blowing raspberries.

“That’s not going to work kiddo” he says with a chuckle. The boy tries two more times and his father decides maybe he should do it for him. Suddenly with the biggest intake of breath his little lungs could muster he leans dangerously close to the flame and blows the biggest raspberry he can. Just enough air and spit hit the wick to snuff out the flame.

“Well that’s one way to do it.” Removing the candle, he gestures toward the cake.

“Ok there spitfire, dig in.”

His son just stares down at the cake mesmerized by the designs in the frosting. With a chuckle, Nathan swipes some frosting onto his finger. Making sure he has the attention of his son, he pops the sugary substance into his mouth. Taking another swipe he brings his finger to Keith’s mouth and with curious eyes he opens his mouth and sucks on the finger. His eyes immediately go wide with elation. Licking his lips he stares in excitement at the rest of the cake and his father takes a step back in preparation of the decimation of the cake, and decimated it is. Keith grabs a chunk of the sweet and presses it to his mouth, smearing icing on his face in the process. He wiggles in his high chair unable to contain himself before continuing his destruction of his birthday cake; his father chuckling all the while.

Nathan is in the kitchen humming a melody he can’t quite remember while grabbing a snack for him and his now three year old son. Just as he finishes plating the food he hears the most alarming sound. A high pitched scream that borders on a young growl and a loud thump of something thrown against the wall. Briskly walking into the living room he sees his son in the center of the space, clenched fists on either side of his head covering his ears. A small turn toward the left wall reveals a group of blocks and a booklet on the floor; the wall sporting red and blue marks from the impact of the toys. Any other time he would have been angry at such destructive behavior, but it was more than clear that his son was distressed.

Quickly going over to the small boy, Nathan crouches down to Keith’s level looking him over for any injuries. Taking in the boy’s face, he notes the gnashed teeth and eyes screwed tight; his breathing erratic and on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Keith, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” he said while gently, ever so gently, grabbing his son’s hands and bringing them down from his head. The boy gasped as his eyes shot open wide, pupils and irises shrunken to near slits surrounded by yellowed sclera. His eyes dart around his father’s face unable to find a point of focus. With a wail, he closes them again becoming inconsolable.

“Oh, this is what the daycare lady was talking about.” Nathan murmurs to himself. Releasing Keith’s hands, he lightly places his larger ones on his son’s small shoulders. “Sssh, firefly, it’s ok. Take a deep breath.” he says providing an example and Keith follows with a kind of shuddering breath that only children can do. “Ok, now can you tell what’s wrong? I can’t help if you don’t say.”

Through dry sobs and clenching teeth the small boy says in a near whisper, “It’s too big.”

“What is?”

“I..I don’t know!” Keith responds becoming more distressed again.

“Ok, ok we can just..”

What was he suppose to do? His heart ached; his son was experiencing something that definitely stemmed from his mother’s heritage. Without her here he was at a lose of what to do. How was he to care for Keith when he couldn’t even begin to understand what his son was going through?

Taking a calming breath of his own and shoving down his thoughts he made a decision.

“We can just sit here until you start to feel better. How does that sound?” he says while leaning to fully sit on the floor. Keith responds with a small nod and Nathan turns him around to pull him into his lap. They sit there through long, tension filled minutes until Keith finally sighs and leans back against his father’s chest.

“Feeling better now?”

Keith nods and asks “Can I have my snack now?”

“S-sure you can, firefly.” he says, hesitating before running his fingers through Keith’s soft hair and then continuing his initial task in the kitchen.

Nathan is filling out some forms for work at the kitchen table when he hears thumps of fast moving feet coming down the hall.

“Daddy, Daddy I got something to show you!” the soon to be five year old boy says hopping up and down using his father’s chair to steady himself in his excitement.

“Oh yeah, kiddo? What you got?” He says instantly forgetting the papers on the table as he pulls out the camera from his pocket, that has become permanently attached to his person by now.

“My tooth is loose! Look!” Keith says as he proceeds to tuck in his top lip and blow air in and out through his bottom teeth. One tooth in the front wiggles back and forth in time with each breath, and his eyes cross in concentration.

With laughter in his voice Nathan says, “Well look at that; it sure is. You know what this means don’t you?”

“No, what?” he asks with bright eyes.

“Means the tooth fairy will be comin’, soon as that baby comes out.” he says bending just a little closer to his son like he’s telling a secret.

“Tooth fairy?” Keith asks with a look of incredulity.

“Yup, when your tooth comes out. We’ll put it under your pillow and then the tooth fairy will come and take it and give you some money.”

Looking grossed out and confused the boy shoots off question after question. “Why would they give me money for my teeth? Why do they want my teeth?”

Nathan is taken aback by his son’s rapid fire questioning. Keith is definitely his mother’s son. “Well it’s their job and they give you money because you’re bein’ nice enough to give it to them,” he says

“That’s dumb,” he says matter of fact as he puts all his weight on his heels, and leans back using the chair to prevent himself from falling.

“Well, what were you going to do with it?” Nathan replies.

Shrugging his small shoulders he says, “I don’t know. Eat it, I guess.”

“What?! Why would you eat it?” His father questions, truly surprised at his son’s words.

Standing flat on his feet, he cocks out his hip, rests his hand on it, tilts his head to the side, and like it’s the most logical thing in the world replies, “It’s already in my mouth. Why wouldn’t I?”

The older man can’t help but to completely lose it and just laughs until there are tears in his eyes. Keith smiles, happy that he made his father laugh though not knowing why. When Nathan calms down, he says through lingering giggles. “Well, we don’t eat our teeth so let’s be nice and let the tooth fairy do their job. Want me to show you how to take it out?”

Keith nods hoping to make his father happy again while his father gets up to grab a tissue. The man then gets down on one knee to be at his son’s level. “Ok open up.” Keith follows the order and Nathan using the tissue pinches the loose tooth between his fingers. “Alright, kiddo, on the count of three I’m going to pull it out.”

“Uh huh,” is all the boy can manage to give the go ahead.

“One..” and he pulls it out with a quick jerking motion never intending to count the other numbers. “There we go.” Keith is in shock of the now vacant space in his gums as his father shows him the now removed tooth. He takes the offered tissue from his father looking at it with curiosity.

“So what do we do with this?” Nathan leadingly asks.

“I’m going to put it under my pillow, right now.” Keith says becoming excited and quickly runs to his room. Once he’s out of sight, his father plops down into his chair and chuckles while running a hand through his hair.

“He was going to eat it... God that kid says some crazy shit.” He says to himself, turns off the camera, and resumes filling out his work papers.

The kitchen table is covered in the rainbow colors of construction paper and crayons. The boy with a mop of dark brown hair falling into his eyes is sitting in a chair next to his father while they both are making masterpieces of similar caliber. When done they show off to each other the drawings of blue skies and hover bikes. Keith can’t help but giggle at his father’s attempt of drawing birds in his sky. He then grabs a blank piece of paper and starts something new. After a few minutes, Keith suddenly stops with a frown. He turns to his father interrupting the man’s drawing.

“Daddy, how come I don’t have a mom?”

“What? Who told you that?” says Nathan , preparing to fight any number of kids’ parents.

“There’s this girl at school who says we should be friends because she doesn’t have a mom neither.” Keith replies going back to adding details in his drawing. His father follows the motion and notices the drawing his son has done of their house, him and his father, but there’s an obvious space where another person should be. Somehow that empty space reflects rather perfectly the aching space that has grown in him over the past five years. In this moment it hurts just like the day she left.

He takes a long look at the camera on the table remembering why he bought it; to share these memories with her when she.. if she comes back. He turns in his chair to fully face Keith for once not attempting to keep his complicated emotions off his face. He knew this question would come up sooner or later, but he never figured out how to explain all the Whys and the Hows. Keith is still a bit too young to know the whole truth now, but he can’t even think of lying to him.

“You have a mom.” Nathan finally answers pulling Keith into his lap and grabbing a new piece of paper to start drawing. “She’s tall, smart as a whip, and strong, but the most beautiful thing about her was when she smiled. I think she smiled the biggest when she had you.”

“If she smiled so much, then why isn’t she here with us?”

“Because she had to leave...” He chokes up unable to finish the thought. “I’m sorry, firefly.” With a tear rolling down his face he looks away from his son and murmurs to himself. “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.”

“Daddy! I’m sorry.... I’m sorry.” The boy pleads to his father, beginning to tear up himself. He hugs him tight around the neck and Nathan can’t help but reciprocate by wrapping his arms tight around the small body in his lap. They stay that way for a while, rocking back and forth as the tears run their course. Keith’s breathing evens out as he’s apparently cried himself to sleep. Having calmed, he notes his son’s sleeping face and brushes back the over grown bangs. Then he gets up carrying young boy out of frame to put him down for a nap. Left on the table, is a rudimentary drawing or a woman lined in purple.

He’s washing dishes when his soon to be eight years old son calls for him from up stairs. “Pa.”

Pausing to wonder when Keith stop calling him Daddy, he calls back, “Yeah?”

“Pa!” Now said with fear and definite urgency. Nathan throws the dish towel on his shoulder and drops the dish in the sink to immediately turn and run up the stairs. Is it another of his episodes? It’s been so long he thought Keith had grown out of them. He stops when he reaches the top and calls out.

“Keith, where are you?”

“Pa! In here.” His voice carrying the short distance from his father’s bedroom. Nathan quickly enters and is shocked into stillness at the scene before him. Keith is practically swimming in his work vest with one foot in a far too big boot, and he’s cradling a hand that’s freely bleeding down his arm. His scans the room frantically to find the cause only to spot the luxite knife on the floor out of its sheath, and an edge of its wrapping undone. He’ll deal with that later; first, is to fix his son’s hand.

He takes the towel from his shoulder and presses it firmly against the cut in Keith’s palm while instructing to hold it the same way. He then grabs the boy’s shoulder and leads him to the bathroom. He sits him down on the toilet lid and gets out First Aid Kit #2, he’s got four of these around the house. Nathan holds out his hand waiting for Keith to offer his wounded one for inspection. Thankfully, the cut isn’t too deep and he can get away with not sewing in stitches. Keith has gone silent refusing to look in his father’s direction while he cleans and wraps the wound. While raising the hand above Keith’s heart, he lets slip some of his worry and anger.

"Keith, what were thinking?”

Panicking, Keith tries to explain, “I was just playing when it fell out of the closet. I didn’t know it was that sharp.”

“How many times have I told you, that knife is not a toy.” Nathan says in a stern voice.

“I wasn’t playing with it! I was just looking at it,” says the kid; going on the defensive.

“Then how did you hurt your hand?” Nathan asks.

“I just... wanted to see what was under the wrapping.” Keith says, again avoiding eye contact.

“It’s there for the same reason I keep it in a sheath, because it’s dangerous. You’re lucky you didn’t lose a finger.” He sighs “You about gave me a heart attack.”

Keith pouts saying, “I’m sorry... I won’t do it again.”

“Good, now go to your room,” he orders letting go of the injured hand.

“But-”

“No buts. You’re staying in your room for the rest of the evening.”

Keith slowly rises from his seat on the toilet lid and slips passed his father to his room. He shuts the door louder than usual, but not enough to be considered a slam lest his father start yelling at him. Meanwhile, Nathan walks back to the bedroom and cleans up the few scattered clothes and shoes in front of the closet. He lingers on the knife just a moment before expelling a long sigh of frustration and putting it away.

It’s a week day, and he’s driving Keith to school for his fifth week of fourth grade.The early morning is beginning to warm with the ever rising sun despite it being early autumn and with the promise of another warm day Nathan glances at his son, taking in his bored expression.

“Your birthday’s coming up soon. You ready to finally be in the double digits?” He asks.

“You mean so I can start aging in decades like you?” He replies with a wry grin.

“Hey! You don’t do that at ten.. You start at forty, and then it’s down hill from there.” He replies with a smile, making his son laugh. They fall into a comfortable silence as he rounds a street corner; the school becoming visible in the distance.

“So, you got anything you just been dying to have for your birthday?” he asks as he pulls into the designated drop off area of the school.

“Can I get my own hover bike?!” Keith quickly and with much enthusiasm replies, his eyes shining with hope.

“Well, I don’t know about a hover bike.” He says trying to avoid eye contact.

“Then, can we at least get a store bought cake?” Keith offers.

“What’s wrong with the cakes I make?” Nathan asks in indignation.

“Nothing, except the last two were more like moosh than cake.” He says as he makes a the most sour face at the memory.

“Ok, ok, you have a point. I’ll get store bought. Now, you better get moving before the lady behind us starts popping a vain.” Keith then gets out and rounds the front of the vehicle, but before he makes his way to the front doors of the building his father calls out. “Oh Keith, I’ll try and get off early today ok?”

“Ok! See you later.” He replies.

“Ok, love you, firefly.” His father says emphasizing the ‘love you.’ Keith just rolls his eyes and makes a sound of exasperation before failing to resist smiling and turns to walk into school.

For the next ten minutes Nathan drives to work quietly singing along to the radio and sometimes making comment on the commercials. After pulling into the station, he makes the usual rounds of morning greetings and stops at his locker to get changed. Only when he removes his shirt does he remember the camera that’s been recording most of the morning drive. He’s about to turn it off when a thought occurs to him and he flips it back around to place himself in frame, revealing a large scar on his right shoulder. Not for the first time, he directly addresses the camera.

“He’s turning ten soon, can you believe it? It’s been almost ten years.” He pauses with a look of contemplation before continuing. “Maybe it’s time I tell him about the knife.. and about you.” He smiles at the thought of Keith’s mother before getting distracted by the sudden alarm. The last frame of the video is a look of determination on Nathan’s face before it blurs and goes black.

#strangeroseart #vld keith #vld texas #vld krolia #keith's dad #writing #vld fanfic #angst #fluff #i don't usually write but this really wouldn't leave me alone until i got it out #this came from the fact that i and everyone i know has box of all our childhood photos i figured Keith would be similar

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