#yuzu getting a little dizzy at the end????

[tehtariks]

they really are single-handedly saving the olympics

#I CANNOT..... #yuzu getting a little dizzy at the end???? #;___; cuties #yuzuru hanyu #liu xinyu #figure skating #olympics

[owletstarlet]

water, sunlight (tender mercy)

“You’re full,” the spirit insists, eyes round and steady. “This will help.”

(also known as, owlet’s ill-advised spin on hanahaki. CW for Natsume’s Terrible Childhood, as well as a bit of a CW for symptoms of Vague Anime Illness during this our extended plague year.)

Ao3 link in the notes.

***

Four days.

He was twelve years old.

Twelve years old, and about to look after his aunt and uncle’s house during their long weekend trip north. He didn’t mind, had looked forward to it, honestly; he’d be on school break himself, and the quiet of the empty house had sounded more than appealing.

His cousin, two years older, had been tasked with leaving the spare key where Takashi could find it, under the potted yuzu tree on the porch.

Except she never did.

He tried and failed to find an unlatched window to shimmy through. He’d had enough change on him for a payphone, but the name and number of the hotel had been scrawled down on a pad left in the kitchen.

He contemplated the police station, next. But by now, so late in the day, his guardians would have reached their destination hours away. He’d head off the potential fallout from troubling them; they weren’t the warmest of people but Takashi was provided for, didn’t mind his school, and he hadn’t managed to step out of line just yet.

Four days couldn’t be so long, surely.

But then he’d misjudged some things. Namely, how much food that pocketful of change could get him at the hundred-yen shop, how cold it could still get at night even in early March, and how no 24-hour convenience store or café would let him in for long to warm up if he couldn’t pay for anything.

And it hadn’t been that bad, all things considered—the park he’d stayed overnight in was near enough to people’s homes that the larger youkai steered clear, and then on that last night when a chilly rain had driven him indoors the lady from the convenience store gave him a bento she’d been prepared to toss out, even heated it up for him.

And when his aunt and uncle returned to him dozing off on the porch, all it took was a quick lie about having locked himself out that morning and they were none the wiser to the whole ordeal. He even got to keep the food money, having tucked it away into his pillowcase the night before they’d left.

And yes, it’d been uncomfortable, and inconvenient. But definitely not worth waking up in a frigid sweat over, four years later.

It’s not just the once, either.

He’s otherwise had a nice week; there’d been a school trip to the botanical garden for everyone in their year. Touko had sent Takashi along with cranberry muffins for everyone to share on the train, and Nishimura hadn’t stopped rapturously singing their praises for the rest of the day. They’d made a sort of competition out comparing their mandatory sketches of the different plants to see whose bush clover was the very worst, and bickered a bit over what the prize ought to be while Sasada, their de-facto judge, just rolled her eyes at them and told them they ought to at least try. Takashi had dozed off for most of the train ride back, a dreamless nap, while Kitamoto and Taki took it upon themselves to steer him by the shoulders back from the train station to the bus stop. Takashi had let himself be led, in a pleasant twilit daze, all the way back to the Fujiwaras’ front door.

He woke up crying out, that night, heart hurling itself against a chest that felt brittle and thin.  

***

Three days later finds Takashi crouched in the moss of a little forest clearing, riding out the wave of dizziness as a name swirls through the air above him. Its owner gives him a smile as it sinks through their skin—no flickers of Reiko this time, no associated memory for Takashi to absorb in turn. And there isn’t always, that’s not unusual, but what is unusual is the way they lean forward towards him once the process is complete, to place a cool finger right between his eyes. Once Takashi stops seeing double, he thinks hazily that the youkai looks rather like an heirloom doll—glossy straight hair, round apple-cheeks, blush-pink kimono—but their mouth is pinched, as if in passing concern.

“You’re full,” they tell him.

Takashi just blinks at them.

“Care to elaborate?” Beside him, Sensei’s eyes narrow. “Or don’t. We were just leaving.”

“You’re full,” the spirit insists, eyes round and steady. “This will help.”

They slide their fingers downwards across his face, his neck, to rest at the hollow of his throat. Takashi feels the pop, the sudden chill sinking through his flesh.

Sensei forces his way between them, then, poking at Takashi’s skin with his paw. “What was that?” he demands.

“A nudge,” the ayakashi says, simply. Seconds later, they’ve vanished.

***

Takashi doesn’t notice straightaway. He’s bleary-eyed and yawning through his Civics assignment after dinner, but he’d returned a name just hours before, so it doesn’t exactly raise an alarm bell. Neither does the tickle in the back of his throat, not when the weather’s chilly and half the school is sneezy and runny-nosed at the moment. He drinks the honeyed tea Touko brings him and has all but forgotten about it as he climbs into his futon that night.

He’s twelve years old. He wishes he’d taken a coat, before they’d left.

Touko offers, in the morning, to keep him home from school; he’d been coughing last night, loud enough that the sound carried down the hall. But Takashi can’t remember it, the only apparent trace of it in the persistent tickle that has him clearing his throat every now and then, so he accepts a mask and a thermos of tea and her pat to his cheek, then leaves as usual.

He’s not feeling truly dreadful until lunch the following day; throat prickling, chest too tight, stomach roiling too much to handle more than a few bites of rice. Nishimura walks him home, looping their arms together and resolutely waving off Takashi’s worry that he’ll just get him sick, too. They stop twice, Takashi left winded and red-faced from the deeper, heavier coughs that had begun just hours before.

Touko makes him tea again that night, when he feels bolstered enough to make his way back down to the kitchen for okayu that hurts to swallow. But the thick cup slips from his fingers seconds after she presses is into his hand. It cracks into three neat pieces when it hits the floor, its contents splattering his socks and the toes of Touko’s slippers.

He’s barely opened his mouth to apologize—

Cracked porcelain. Scalded fingers going red. Heartbeat in his throat.

He was seven years old.

“I—”

Whatever he was about to say is snatched away by a low, deep cough, colliding with the sudden urge to be sick.

He manages to keep his dinner down, just barely, after some not-so-deep breaths through his nose over the toilet he’d bolted to. But he’s leaning over anyways, moments later, hacking and spitting and something just beneath his sternum rips itself free.

He peers into the water, at the white scraggly thing, half curled in on itself, that he’s somehow just choked up.

He blinks, flushes it down. Heads straight up to bed, dazed, wondering with a sudden icy pinprick of fear just what he’d been about to say to Touko.

He wakes again that night, throat searing, the sight of blistered fingers and tea-darkened wood floors burned into the backs of his eyelids.

Sensei’s eyes narrow. “A chrysanthemum?” He prods at the damp crumpled thing lying on Takashi’s pillowcase, this one’s petals shot through with burgundy.

Takashi stares at it, knees drawn up beneath his chin, chest aching like something’s been torn loose from him.

***

Two nights later and he’s curled on his side, cheek pressed against the cool whorls of wood where Sensei had deposited him on the doorstep of the Yatsuhara Temple. Hauling himself upright to reach the doorbell is beyond him. He gets a shaky fist up to knock, somehow, unsure who will answer the door. Tanuma had said something about his dad and a business trip, maybe, but the details are like water through a sieve in his mind.

Nothing happens. He’s at the bottom of a lake, pushed down and down and when the sound of a doorbell drifts through his ears a nebulous moment later, it’s beyond him to wonder just how on earth Sensei managed to do that.

He senses the light of the opened door through shuttered eyes. A sharp intake of breath, a dull thunk of knees dropping to the floor beside him that he feels more than hears.

“Natsume?” Tanuma’s voice has gone low with fright, one tentative hand on his shoulder and another, seconds later, lighting on his forehead. It makes his skin prickle, and he feels his face screw up.

“Wh—is he hurt?”

“He asked to come here,” Sensei says, obliquely.

Takashi finds a thready sliver of his voice then, opens one eye to Tanuma’s face washed bloodless by the porch light, gaping at him. “Sorry,” he starts, but the word ends jagged on a cough.

And another, and another, and then he’s spitting mouthful after cloying mouthful of bruised petals into his own shaking fingers.  

Before he’s opened his streaming eyes he feels cool hands uncover his mouth, a thumb swiping across his chin.

“What…what is this?”

***

Takashi has no real awareness of how he got inside, or even what room he’s in; just that they’re on the floor, that Tanuma’s got him gathered up in his arms.

He tries to lay him out flat, but an odd, reedy sound shakes loose from Takashi’s throat and he feeels his own fingers scrabbling at Tanuma’s sleeve. Tanuma stops halfway to the floor, a panicked question in his eyes, holding Takashi in place awkwardly half-cradled against his chest.

“Hurts,” Takashi manages, breathlessly, by way of explanation. He can’t elaborate. He watches frantic, imploring eyes flick to Sensei instead.

“He’s cursed.” Takashi can’t see him but there’s an edge to his voice. “Some busybody got it into their head that they were doing him a favor. Now he’s choking up flowers every minute or so, as if that’s at all useful. He’s got a soggy little garden in there now.” Takashi feels a paw prodding his ribs. “You could see them, couldn’t you? Out on the doorstep.”

Tanuma nods, slowly, and Takashi watches a dozen questions flit through his eyes. But he must see that Takashi can’t spare the breath for the answers, so instead he says, “How do we stop it?”

Sensei sighs. “Seems like it’ll resolve itself, sooner or later. The brat’s just selective about his audience for it. And your house was closer than the Taki girl’s, so here we are.”

“‘M sorry,” Takashi repeats, through a wheeze. “B-but Touko-san and Shigeru-san, they can’t…” It’s true, and it’s urgent, but the words escape his grasp like slippery minnows so all he can do is look up, dazed and panting as though he’d sprinted here.

“…maybe you shouldn’t be talking right now.” And with that, Takashi feels himself being gently turned and positioned so his back is against Tanuma’s chest.

“That’s the trouble, isn’t it,” Sensei mutters, even as Takashi’s pressing both hands over his mouth again while his chest, or his stomach, or some elusive in-between place, has begun to turn itself inside out again.

His fingers come away cupping a tattered flower, yellow now with splotches of red that stain his skin where the petals touch, and Tanuma sucks in a breath.

“What’s happening to you?”

He finds out, soon enough.

***

A water bottle with a cracked lid. His homeroom teacher, her kind face taut as she asked him to open his bento. He’d figured if he tucked himself in the corner and let it sit on the edge of the desk, nobody would ask. He was dizzy, his limbs felt like they might evaporate into the stuffy air. He wondered if she’d let him put his head down until the period ended.

He was thirteen years old.

Sensei rolled in an empty wastebasket, at some point. Takashi’s got his arms locked around it, head lolling halfway inside it. Tanuma hadn’t interrupted, hasn’t said a word other than the whispered assurances beside his ear every time something rips inside him, leaving him hacking and teary-eyed and trying not to whimper. The words, when they come, are drawn out like some unspooling thread, from the dustiest corners of his mind that he never looks at too closely.

Knees pulled up to his chest in the dark, perched on a musty stack of futons. Clutching at his stinging cheek, ears pricked for heavy, meandering footsteps.

He was eight years old.

Tanuma started tracing slow circles into his shoulder, at some point, while he spits bits of himself into the wastebasket.

“If you can stand, I can—my bed…”

“Doubtful,” Sensei says. He’s pressed lengthwise against Takashi’s thigh.

Scraped arms wrapped tight around a branch that feels weak, precarious in the breeze. The creature gazing up at him, amused, blackened blood on its lips. Thunder rolling in, far off still but the air already thick and charged.

He was ten years old.

It takes a bit of time to come back to himself, to slip back into his body from the spaces between. It’s not over, he knows, but Tanuma’s pressing a glass of water into his hands now, helping lift it to his lips when it’s clear his fingers have all but gone wooden.

The long look Tanuma gives him once he’s set the glass aside makes Takashi feel pinned down like an insect to a corkboard. It’s an odd crooked angle to look up at him from; the side of Takashi’s head is braced against his collarbone. But Tanuma’s jaw is locked, and his eyes are red and wet, seem like they have been for awhile but Takashi doesn’t have the presence of mind to recall when that had started.  

He’s carding back Takashi’s damp fringe while Takashi wishes he could just squirm away, fingers endlessly careful even as his voice turns steely.

“It isn’t right.”

Takashi pushes the “sorry” out on a wheeze; it feels like an exercise in futility when there’s that itching promise behind his ribs of more to come, that stopping it would be like trying to swim straight up a waterfall.

Tanuma shakes his head, fingers coming to rest on Takashi’s cheek, where there must be dried-up spittle and bits of plant matter and blood coating the skin.

“It’s not—“ he starts to say, then lets out an unsteady breath. “It’s not what you’re telling me. I mean. That’s not right, either. And you shouldn’t ever believe it was. But you…” he trails off again, like he’s trying to parse out the proper words, and Takashi’s suspended, hovering right on the edge of something vast and formless and ready to snap him right up.

“These things…” he waves his hand vaguely at the wastebasket. “You never would’ve told me any of this, if that spirit hadn’t forced you, would you.” It’s not a question, but it’s not an indictment. Takashi says nothing.

“You shouldn’t have had to,” he continues, softly. “Ever, if you didn’t want to. It should have been your call.”

The sound that escapes Takashi’s mouth then is a bitten-off, ugly thing. He’s not sure when his eyes closed, but he feels the careful pads of thumbs swiping away the at the hollows beneath them.

“I meant that, but I didn’t mean to make you cry.” A pause, and Tanuma’s pinched face finally swims back into view above him. “You should try to finish the water, okay?”

He does, but there’s the sensation of tacks pressed into his throat when he swallows.

A sound of shuffling, then Sensei’s poking his knee. He’s dragged in a cushion that Takashi thinks came from the sitting room. “Just put him down here, if he can take it,” he huffs. “It looks like you’ve been trying to cradle a cooked noodle for the past hour.”

He ends up on his side with his cheek squashed against the cushion, a scent of stale incense clinging to the fabric, Sensei firmly sandwiched between his stomach and his arm.

Tanuma sits cross-legged in front of him, one hand resting on Takashi’s upper arm. His eyes are still puffy but he looks thoughtful, now.

“You know that Jizo altar in the garden?” he asks.

Takashi blinks, manages a nod.

“So, um. Yesterday I was out there sweeping and pulling the weeds around it, and I went around the back side and there was a swallow’s nest… I mean, I think that’s what it was, it looked like it was more mud than sticks and it was wedged up where the wall meets the roof.”

“Too early in the year for swallows, isn’t it.” Sensei’s voice is muffled by Takashi’s forearm.

“I thought so too. I haven’t seen any out there yet, but Dad said I could use his camera to try to get some photos anyways. He’ll put them in the monthly newsletter. And I’d like to get up there to see if there are any eggs inside, but…”

“It’d make a decent snack, if there were,” Sensei drawls. Takashi can’t muster much force, but he manages to flick Sensei in the ear hard enough to elicit an indignant squawk.

“I’m a little afraid that the swallows are gonna come  back while I’m there and give me a hard time about it,” Kaname says, a rueful quirk to his lips.

“D-do swallows even…” Takashi has to stop halfway through to muster the breath, to gulp hard past prickling that’s morphed into burning. “Would they attack people?”

Sensei’s head pops up then, chin resting on Takashi’s arm. “Hah. If they do, I hope you record it.”

Tanuma’s hand migrates to the top of Sensei’s head. “Well you could just come see for yourself,” he says, fingers seeking out the spots around the bases of the ears Sensei likes best. “I was going to ask Natsume if he wanted to help get the photo. Once you’re feeling up to it,” he adds, to Takashi. Takashi manages a bare nod.

“Oh, and,” he goes on, with a considering glance towards the darkened window, “I’d thought it’d probably be a good idea to put a box on the ground underneath, with some newspaper inside? In case it falls.”

Takashi can feel another cough mounting behind his sternum, the wrongness clamoring to wrench itself free; knows he’s about to be swallowed up by another place and time. His lips twitch anyway.

“Kind of you.” The breath behind the words is rattling oddly, and judging by the tightness around Tanuma’s eyes, he doesn’t miss it.

“Well, I mean,” Tanuma says, after a beat of silence, with a thin smile of his own. “It’s probably pretty bad luck to let a bunch of of baby birds die right beside a Jizo, or bad form at least, but. Thanks. You can help with that too, if you want.”

Before Takashi can answer, the words have fallen straight out of his head and bled through the floor. And he’s tipping backwards, down, down until he’s nine years old again.

A bus stop in the rain, a rapidly darkening sky. His aunt was an hour and a half late, now. He’d just walk, if he knew the way.

Hungry yellow eyes, glinting out from between the bush and a vending machine.

***

Tanuma’s not there when Takashi wakes. He doesn’t remember falling asleep. But the sheets on Tanuma’s bed smell like his uniform, tatami and detergent and incense. The curtain’s closed, but he can see the light peeking through the edges.

He doesn’t try to sit up. His chest feels scraped hollow and his brain skitters away from the thought of the mouthfuls of blood that had come up with the flowers. Sensei’s nowhere to be seen.

He’s staring at the ceiling lamp, drifting, when Tanuma appears in the doorway with a tray in hand. He opts not to flick the light on, setting the tray down to lean over the bed and draw the curtain halfway back. Takashi doesn’t need to ask if he got any sleep at all,  not when he looks for all the world like he got punched in both eyes. But his smile had been real and relieved when he’d seen that Takashi was awake.

“I brought tea,” he says, perching on the edge of the bed. “But you’ll probably want water first, right?”

He does—he ends up chugging down two-thirds of the offered bottle like he’s dying, one of Tanuma’s hands behind his head and the other steadying his elbow, until Tanuma gently pries it from his fingers to keep him from being sick.

“Where’s Sensei?” he asks moment later, in a sandpaper voice, while Tanuma helps prop him up on the headboard.

“He said something about going back to the Fujiwaras’, pretending to be you long enough to come down for breakfast and tell them you were headed here for the day.”

Takashi grimaces, and the look Tanuma gives him is sympathetic and only slightly amused. “It’s better than making them worry, right? I’m glad it’s not a school day, anyways.”

They’re silent for a moment, after that, while Tanuma pours him the tea. Takashi smells lemon and honey. He stares down at the cup warming his chilled fingers, watches the steam curling towards his face. It’s good, but he feels torn open, still, like the whole of him is an exposed nerve.

“I—”

“If you’re trying to apologize, please don’t,” Tanuma says, abruptly, meeting his eyes. “You already did. A lot.”

“Oh.” He takes a sip of tea, not sure what else to do.

“Sorry. Just. You didn’t need to, is all. None of that was my business, if you didn’t want it to be. I told you that.” Takashi watches his jaw clench and unclench. “It just…made me. Really angry, at some people I’ve never met.”

“You don’t need to be,” Takashi murmurs, more to the blankets on his lap than to Tanuma. “It’s, um. It was long enough ago that who knows how much of it I was even remembering right.” He shrugs, and the movement makes his ribs ache. “And the Fujiwaras are kind, anyways. I’m lucky.”

Maybe it’s the wrong thing to say, because Tanuma’s face does something odd. Then his cup is taken out of his hands, and there are arms wrapped around his back, and a face buried in his hair. He’s shaking. Maybe they both are. Takashi goes still for all of two seconds before his arms are coming up too, of their own accord, and he’s clinging right back like his life depends on it. Like he could sink right through Tanuma’s skin, if he could just hold on tight enough. He’d be alright with that, he thinks. He’s lucky in more ways than one.

Beside them, the tea grows cold, dappled light falling across their knees.

***

#not great but i’m tired of looking at it #about the illness cw it’s a lot of coughing so 🙃 #which makes everyone and their dog anxious right now #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #tanunatsu #tanuma kaname #natsume takashi #cw child abuse #cw illness #owlet's fanfic #natsume yuujinchou fanfiction

[photorose11]

Just Friends

I am actually proud of myself for writing another prompt, two days in a row. lol I am actually surprised I am posting this, I had a terrible day. The kind where you get home from work and want to bawl. It hasn’t been easy lately. But writing makes me happy and I was excited to share this. So, here is day ten of Ichiruki month. :)

Disclaimer: I don’t own Bleach, bleh.

_______

“You’re staring, Rukia.”

The raven haired Shinigami looked over from her spot on the sofa to look at Rangiku Matsumoto who had a certain look in her eyes that Rukia simply could not ignore.

“I am not.” Rukia muttered, taking another sip of her drink, making sure to keep her eyes away from Ichigo this time. She heard her friend give a laugh beside her, Rukia looked over to see Rangiku bring her saki bottle to her lips with a grin on her face. Rukia couldn’t help but roll her eyes. What would the 10th Lieutenant know anyway with how intoxicated she was becoming.

Rukia looked around the room, spotting Ishida and Orihime in the corner of the living room discussing something. Orihime was waving her hands around dramatically, obviously telling Ishida something very exciting. Probably another cooking idea she had come up with. Rukia grinned at the look on the Quincy’s face, he seemed perfectly happy with listening to her.

Next Rukia saw Karin, Yuzu and Tōshirō sitting at the kitchen table. Karin showing Tōshirō how to play a certain card game which he was losing at, if the frown on his face was any indication. Isshin was behind Tōshirō, telling him something probably regarding the game. 

Rukia’s gaze went back to Ichigo who was standing inside the entryway of the kitchen, surrounded by Chad, Keigo, Tatsuki and Mizuiro. Rukia assumed they were probably talking about what colleges they would be attending in a few months.

Rukia had not been surprised when Isshin had decided to throw Ichigo a graduation party, although she was a little surprised he was allowing them to drink alcohol. When she questioned him about it before the party, all he had said was that after everything his son and his friends had been through over the years, they were now grown adults.

‘They deserve to relax a little bit, after everything that’s happened. ‘

Rukia could not help but agree with him. As far as she could tell, Ichigo had grown very much in the last few years since she had met him. The last year had been especially hard on him, the Quincy War had taken a toll on all of them but him more then anyone else she knew.

He had stayed in Soul Society the first month after the war, recovering. When he had returned home, Rukia went with him and stayed for a week before returning back to Soul Society. He returned back to school to finish his last year of High School, while Rukia helped rebuild her Division and the Seireitei.

“You should tell him, you know.”

Rukia blinked, breaking out of her daze to turn and look at Rangiku who was smirking at her. Rukia took another sip of her drink before replying to her friend.

“Tell him what?”

Rangiku put an arm around Rukia’s shoulders, practically squishing her to her chest. Rukia scowled, trying to pull away before snatching the saki bottle of out her friends hands. Rangiku watched in amusement as Rukia re filled her cup, before leaning forward and whispered into Rukia’s ear.

“That you loooove him.”

If Rangiku had not grabbed the saki bottle back, Rukia would have dropped it on the floor. She was thankful in that moment but also completely flabbergasted at her friends words. She recovered quickly, taking a large gulp of her drink before settling back into the sofa.

“You’re delusional, Rangiku.”

“You’re in denial, Rukia.”

Said raven haired Shinigami was getting very sick of rolling her eyes. Did her friend even know what she was saying?

“Come on, Rukia. In a few months he will be going off to college. You may not get to see him as often anymore, and I really think now is the best time to tell him.”

Rukia scowled at her friends words. She hated that Rangiku was right. But she knew that she could not tell Ichigo. It wouldn’t be fair to him, or to her. They were from two completely different worlds. She refused to hold him back from living his life. She loved him to much to do that to him.

“We’re just friends.” Rukia said softly, sipping at her drink again. Rangiku looked over, seeing the sad look in Rukia’s eyes. Laying a hand of Rukia’s shoulder, she spoke.

“But you want to be more, and I can bet you he does too. Do you even notice the way he looks at you?”

Rukia gave her friend a questioning look before shaking her head in reply. Rangiku only smiled softly at her before looking towards where Ichigo was. A grin overcame her face.

“Well he’s giving you that look right now.”

Rukia wasn’t sure why, but Rangiku’s words made a chill run down her spine. She could feel Ichigo looking at her, she desperately wanted to know what look Rangiku was talking about.

Before Rukia could think further about it, she stood up before finishing the rest of her drink and handing the now empty cup to Rangiku. Said friend lifted an eyebrow at her in question.

“I’m going to the bathroom.”

With that she walked to the stairs, making her way up the steps; the whole time feeling Ichigo’s gaze still set on her until she vanished out of his view.

—-

By the time Rukia made it to the bathroom, and splashed some cold water on her face; she realized she may have drank a little to much saki. This was the first time drinking in her Gigai and after almost tripping when she entered the bathroom she realized with horror that compared to drinking in Soul Society, her Gigai was making her a lightweight. She was grateful she at least wasn’t seeing double.

As she stood in front of the bathroom sink, she gripped the counter; thinking over what Rangiku had said. Rangiku had first confronted her about Ichigo as soon as she had made it back to Soul Society after he had returned back home. Rukia had ignored all her questions, only saying the one thing she had told her downstairs.

‘We’re just friends.’

The more Rukia thought about it, the more it felt like a lie. Rukia had felt a change in her relationship with Ichigo as soon as the war had ended. As she had watched him recover the first few weeks after, she had been terrified for him. She had hurt for him. Her soul had been in turmoil with feelings that were confusing at the time and still were.

When he had first woken up after the war, she had been right there beside him. They were both shocked when she cried, as soon as he had said her name after opening his eyes for the first time since the war had ended. To her surprise, he had cried too.

It was a defining moment in their relationship. One Rukia had not stopped thinking about since it had happened. Ever since then there had been a gradually slow shift in their relationship. They still bickered, they still got annoyed with one another; but being around him now felt different. It felt more intimate, more meaningful.

Looking in the mirror, she wondered if he felt it too. Giving a sigh, she ran her fingers through her hair before smoothing down her dress. She gave another sigh, feeling extremely conflicted with what to do. It was frustrating her. Considering she was drunk, her frustration was heightened. 

It made her want to scream.

Cursing under her breath, she quickly opened the bathroom door; and gave a sudden yelp when she ran into something. She blinked, noticing a chest in front of her. Realizing she had ran into someone she looked up and met eyes with none other then Ichigo.

Rukia really wanted to scream in frustration.

‘Of course this would happen.’ She thought inwardly, trying to stop the blush she felt forming on her cheeks.

Ichigo looked down at her, his face flushed; probably from the saki.

“Hey. I was just checking on you, you’ve been in there awhile.”

His voice came out husky, much to Rukia’s dread.

‘Why must he sound like that when I’m intoxicated and conflicted?’

Rukia cleared her throat, fidgeting with her hands before looking back up at Ichigo, giving him a grateful smile.

“I’m okay. Just a little dizzy, I think I may have had to much Saki.” She said somewhat in embarrassment. He gave her an incredulous look before grinning down at her.

“Even with how tiny you are I never pictured Rukia Kuchiki as a lightweight.” He said in a teasing tone. Rukia’s blush deepened, as she rolled her eyes before looking off to the side.

“I’m usually not. I think it’s this damn Gigai.” She muttered in annoyance, becoming even more annoyed when Ichigo threw his head back and laughed. Scowling at him, she reached out and poked him hard in the stomach yet it did not faze him.

“I guess we can be lightweights together then. I struggled just making it up the stairs.” He said in clear embarrassment as he rubbed the back of his neck, refusing to meet her eyes. Rukia could only smile at that.

It became silent then, as they stood in the doorway to the bathroom. Rukia could feel the tension in the air growing, and her heart skipped a beat when he reached out one of his hands to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. His hand slowly moving down her arm, to take her hand in his. Rukia realized then that he must be drunk if he’s being this touchy. Ichigo Kurosaki was never touchy.

“I have something to give you.” He said with a smile on his face, as he led her to his bedroom. She followed,her hand still in his. Once in his bedroom, he led her to his bed, motioning for her to sit. He let go of her hand, moving to his desk to open a drawer and pulled out a small box. He sat next to her on the bed, hesitating at first before telling her to lay her hands out palm upwards. She did as he asked, and he laid the small box in her hands.

Rukia looked at it, it was a simple black box. Rukia’s curiosity rose when she glanced over at Ichigo, seeing his face slightly red. He rolled his eyes, as she looked back down at it.

“Open it, Midget.”

Rukia couldn’t help but notice the smile in his voice but also something else. Nervousness?

She opened the box, and saw a key inside attached to a key ring. Also attached to it was a small Chappy keychain which Rukia instantly found adorable. She set the box down beside her on the bed, pulling the key ring out as she held it in her hands.

“What is this for?” She asked softly. The room was silent as she turned her head to look at Ichigo, another chill running down her spine as her violent eyes met his. There was something intense about the way he was looking at her.

‘Is this the look Rangiku had been talking about?’

“It’s a spare key to my dorm room at the University. I’m moving into a newer building, I’ll be the first person to be living in that room so they already sent me a key for it. I wanted you to have one so I made a copy for you.” He said softly as he stared back at her.

Rukia blinked, feeling her throat tighten at his words. It was something so simple, yet it made her want to cry. It was such a sweet gesture for him to do for her. She broke her gaze from his, running her finger over the key before admiring the Chappy key chain.

“I know you have your own life in Soul Society and I know you’ve been really busy since the war ended. I know.. that I won’t get to see you as often anymore once I leave for college but I want you to know you’re always welcome to visit me; when you have the time. Even if you just need to get away from Soul Society for a bit and to take a break, I want you to know that you’re always welcome.”

After his somewhat long explanation, Rukia couldn’t stop the smile that was tugging at her lips nor could she stop the tears from forming in her eyes. Even if she had not been drunk, this would still make her want to cry. Rukia’s heart felt full. Running her fingers over the key and Chappy key chain again, Rukia knew what she wanted. 

It wasn’t just ‘being friends’ with him. 

The realization made her heart race and more tears gather in her eyes.

Ichigo leaned down, trying to see her face. He saw a smile, but was nervous with how silent she was being. It was very unlike Rukia.

“Ichigo... this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Rukia whispered through her tears, before looking up at him. His eyes widened when he saw the tears in her eyes.

“Hey, why are you crying? Don’t cry.” He said concerned, reaching a hand out to wipe her tears away.

“I can’t help it, fool.” She whispered, as she smiled up at him. His hand stilled on her cheek as he gazed down at her.

“Why would you do this for me?” She asked him gently, breaking their gaze to look back down at the key ring in her hand.

“What do you mean why? You’re my best friend.” He said it in a way that made Rukia realize he was definitely nervous. Ichigo was not the kind of person to randomly do things such as this for someone. So why her?

She looked back up at him to see him rubbing his neck nervously, looking away from her. He still had his hand on her cheek, until she gently laid a hand over his and put it down to rest between them. She kept her hand in his. Wrapping her other hand around the key chain, she stared at their intertwined hands as Ichigo did the same. The tension was back, this time much stronger. She was sure he noticed it too.

“Thank you so much, Ichigo. This means so much to me.” Her words came out so softly, Ichigo couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at the tone in her voice. She sounded happy, but also a little but sad.

Before he could reply back, Rukia stood up suddenly; her hand leaving his. He watched her walk over to the closet, laying a hand over the closet door before turning around and giving him a coy smile.

“Will I still have my own comfy closet to sleep in?” He rolled his eyes, a smile on his face.

“You can have the closet, midget.”

Rukia smiled wide at his answer, watching as he stood up and stretched; walking over to her.

“Can I decorate your dorm room with Chappy?” She asked excitedly. He gave her a deadpanned expression, but couldn’t help but grin at her facial expression. She was particularly adorable when she became excited, definitely when it was over Chappy the rabbit.

“Three Chappy items, tops.” He said, pointing a finger at her. She gave a small laugh, before taking a step closer to him. He silently watched her movements, as she gently took his hand in hers again.

“I’m really proud of you.”

“Rukia..”

The room became silent again, as he stared down at her. Her head was bowed, only a few inches away from his chest. He really wanted to bring her closer. To hold her.

He did not want her to leave back to Soul Society.

Before he could move, Rukia lifted her head up; smiling softly at him. The tears were back in her eyes, it made his chest hurt.

“We should head back downstairs before anyone starts looking for us.” She said gently, before letting go of his hand and turning towards the bedroom door. He watched her turn away from him, and he knew.

He couldn’t let her walk away.

Not with things like this.

She was his best friend, but Ichigo wondered if she suspected how much he truly did care for her. How much he loved her. How much he didn’t want to ever let her go.

It happened in slow motion for Ichigo.

Putting caution to the wind, he reached his hand back out to grab hers, twirling her around. His other hand went to the side of her face as he leaned down and kissed her, before she could say a word.

To his surprise, it wasn’t awkward. Even though it was his first kiss. He felt her grip his hand tight as she deepened the kiss, her hand still holding onto the key ring went to his chest but she did not push away. Her fingers curled around his shirt, bringing him closer.

A moment later, she slowly broke the kiss and took in a deep breath before opening her violet eyes to look up into his. She gaped at him, trying to form words.

“What-“

“You are my best friend, Rukia. But you’re more then that. You’re so much more then just a friend.”

They stared at one another for a long moment before a smile appeared on Rukia’s face, as her grip on the front of his shirt tightened.

“I know.”

It was only two words, but he understood. He smirked as she leaned up to kiss him, as his arm wrapped around her waist; bringing her closer to him. To his amusement he was almost lifting her off of her feet, as her hand left his; her arm wrapping around his neck.

He did not want to ever let her go.

—-

It had been twenty minutes since Ichigo had gone upstairs to check on Rukia, and Rangiku was beyond curious at what was taking him so long. She gave a smirk at the suspicion she had in her head, before moving to the stairs; saki bottle still in hand. No one noticed her move up the stairs, everyone to entertained by Karin beating Tōshirō against the card game.

Once up the stairs, she slowly walked to Ichigo’s bedroom seeing the light on. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she made it to the doorway, peaking her head in slowly to find her two friends very close, much to close...

Her eyes widened as she slapped a hand over her mouth upon witnessing Ichigo move Rukia against the closet door. Before she could comprehend what she was witnessing, she quickly reached for the door handle and silently closed the bedroom door.

This was certainly private.

The Lieutenant could barely hold in her laughter once the door was closed, before turning away and walking down the hallway; a grin on her face.

‘Just friends, huh Rukia?’

Once walking down the stairs, she couldn’t hold in her laughter anymore.

She was rather excited to have a certain conversation with Rukia tomorrow, that entailed her asking Rukia again if her and Ichigo were really ‘just friends’.

#ichiruki #ichiruki month 2020 #ichiruki month2020 #ichiruki month day ten #irmonth2020 #irmonth 2020 day ten #ichiruki fanfiction #ichiruki fanfic #ichigo kurosaki #ichigo x rukia #rukia kuchiki #just friends #ichiruki shipper #ichiruki love #ichiruki fandom #bleach #bleach fanfiction #pro ichiruki

[thekitchensnk]

and the spider lilies bloomed in the fall (chapter 18)

Rating: T Warnings: Violence Pairing: Gin/Ran Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18

“They say that lovers doomed never to see each other again still see the higanbana growing along their path, even to this day.”

A girl collapses on a dusty road one day. A boy takes her home.

The girl lives.

—

(The boy doesn’t.)

Even weeks later, Ayame could not leave the subject alone. She brought the subject of Rangiku's victory up so frequently and so loudly that Rangiku had developed a scheme to feign deafness whenever Ayame started up.

"I just don't understand why you wouldn't-" Ayame would huff.

"What? I'm sorry, Ayame-chan, but I-"

"I said that I just don't understand why-"

"SORRY, AYAME-CHAN, BUT SUDDENLY IT'S VERY HARD TO HEAR ANYTHING. I think I might have blocked ears!" Rangiku would cheerfully lie.

Ayame would glare. "Don’t be so immature. You can't just pretend to be deaf to avoid conversations you don't want to hear."

Rangiku would momentarily pause in her efforts to mop the floor, and squint at her, digging at her ears. "SORRY, AYAME-CHAN, WHAT DID YOU SAY? I SAID I CAN'T HEAR YOU."

And Ayame would throw her cleaning rag down and storm off, leaving Rangiku grinning widely in her wake.

Whatever illness it was that Ayame seemed to have been suffering from also seemed to have passed. She was adamant that the vomiting spells which had plagued her were just her stomach adjusting to the inclusion of Rangiku into the cooking roster, reasoning which everyone else could quite easily buy, though which Rangiku herself contested hotly.

"There is no kitchen curse!" she would shout angrily. "You're just picking on me, like you always do!"

Regardless, one morning a little over a month after Rangiku's fight with the shinigami student, Chiyo had taken a long, hard look at Ayame, taking the girl’s jaw in one lined hand and examining her with brow-knitted intensity.

Ayame had gone pale and still, her eyes wide with fear as she suffered Chiyo's scrutiny.

"You've not been looking well lately, Ayame," Chiyo had said, slowly. "It's been too long since you've had a rest, I think. Take the morning to go into town. I have some things I need you to pick up."

Ayame had crumpled then with the release of that strange tension, and relief had filled her eyes.

"Of course," she had said weakly, her eyes darting to the door as she did so. "Thank you, Chiyo-san." She had made to leave as quickly as possible.

"Ayame," Chiyo had called after her serenely. At the sound of Chiyo's voice, Ayame had frozen in place.

To Rangiku, watching on, it had made for an odd spectacle indeed.

"Take Rangiku with you," Chiyo had said pensively. "It wouldn't do for you to take ill on the road on your own."

"Y-" Ayame had cleared her throat nervously. "Yes, Chiyo-san. We’ll leave straight away."

Which was how Rangiku suddenly found herself following Ayame through the streets of the fourteenth district, aching with a sense of sudden, dizzying freedom.

It was only seldom that she left the confines of the Floating Moon, and every time she did, she felt the openness of the sky towering dizzily above her. It was strange, but she never felt imprisoned until she was allowed out into the open, where suddenly she found she could breathe more easily. Today, the air was thick with water vapour and overripe with the potential for a storm.

As she breathed in, she breathed in water; the air felt wet and heavy and it lay on the two as they walked, clinging and soft, like an embrace. The sky was iron dark and gray, but it did little to suppress the energy humming under Rangiku's skin. If anything, the dark shadows on the horizon just made the bright leaves of autumn even more beautiful, and Rangiku more appreciative.

In fourteenth, the district had had the means somewhere down the line to plant decoratively- the elegant palm fan leaved gingko trees were beginning to turn butter yellow and the maple trees were sporting shocks of red and fierce orange. The air painted everything in soft focus, muting and blurring the edges of everything solid until it was as hazy and indistinct as a dream.

As Rangiku walked, she raised her arm up and let her fingertips brush against low-lying leaves the color of the sun rise, and she smiled softly to herself in the descending mist.

The sky was dark- so dark- but everywhere, the world was turning to gold.

I'm going to live beautifully, she thought suddenly.

Even if I have nothing else in the world. Even if I'm abandoned time and time again. Even if everyone says that I'm naïve and empty-headed. I'll live with my head held high and my fingers touching gold, and if I can do that, it will have been a life worth living. There is beauty everywhere for those who care to look, and I'm going to find it.

It was a secret vow she whispered to herself, and she held it close to her chest, tucked next to her heart with all the other small and profound things of which she was comprised- the taste of dried persimmons, abrupt kindness to a fallen enemy, the sound of a party in full swing. She felt warm, suddenly, in spite of the damp chill.

Even in the gray light, Ayame looked healthier, as if even just a morning off was good for her soul.

Rangiku was glad to see it. The past few weeks had given Ayame a wan, thin cast to her face.

"Ayame-chan," she called out happily, "I have money for mochi. Would you like some? We could get some tea to go with it."

It was testament to the heady power of a morning off that Ayame hesitated even for a moment. But in the end, not even a morning's freedom could curb Ayame's natural tendency to always, sensibly, obey the rules.

"We should do Chiyo's chores first, Rangiku-chan," she said, though a note of wistfulness was threaded through her voice. "Maybe once we're done with those though."

"I'm going to buy matcha flavoured mochi," Rangiku announced boisterously. "Matcha mochi, yuzu tea." She paused. "Matcha mochi, yuzu tea, and maybe a new ribbon from the market." She bounced slightly on her heels in giddiness. "Where do we have to go for Chiyo's stuff? What does she need us to get?"

"Lye soap, for laundry; jasmine oil for the bath."

"Do you know where we need to go for those? Where on earth do you buy jasmine oil?" Rangiku asked quizzically.

"Chiyo only ever gets the cheap stuff. There's a florist over on the corner that gives Chiyo a cheap price for her loyalty. That's where we'll go."

The inhabitants of the fourteenth were better heeled than the inhabitants of Rangiku's home district. By no means was anyone rich- certainly not by the standards of Seireitei nobility- but the inhabitants all had shoes, and looked to bathe at least semi-regularly. There were no children with hollow, empty eyes and naked backs here; no curdling stream of filth running through the street. Whores here did not heckle and solicit on street corners, but were obliged by law only to operate within certain areas of the district, over clean waters and arched bridges the colour of saffron.

The women went about with wooden combs in their hair, their healthy bodies draped in cheap cotton yukatas of every colour. It was rare to see a mouth of cracked and calcified teeth, and rarer still to see the pock-marked, poverty-disfigured faces which had been the norm where she came from.

It had been over two years since Rangiku had last felt rain dribbling on her face through a threadbare roof. Over two years since she'd had to bathe in a river. Over two years since she'd had only one stained, ripped and patched yukata to wear.

Sometimes she wondered whether the stains and watermarks of that old life were branded onto her soul, evident for anyone with keen enough sight to see. Would she always walk through busy streets with her fists clenched, ready to swing? Would she always scan dark corners and alleyways for the next attack? Would it show in her manners, in her speech? Was the dirt and shame caked on so thick and deep that she could never be rid of it?

Could everyone see it on her face?

And if they could, did that matter?

She was strong, she was young, she was beautiful. She was moving forward, striding forward. That had to count for something.

(But still, she feared those things burnt on her soul- the fears and the anxieties of abandonment and hunger. She feared them because she knew that they still had a hold on her and moved her in incomprehensible ways, like a magnetic field moves a compass needle. She could gather her things in a sack and walk a thousand miles from that place, but something of it would always be inside her; the fear.)

Here and now, she was indistinguishable from any other person living in the fourteenth district. Her clothes were every bit as clean as theirs. I look as if I was born here. she thought fiercely as she and Ayame walked through the cobbled streets. I fit in here. I’ll smack anyone who says otherwise. There was a rumble of thunder far off.

"Did you feel that?" Ayame asked suddenly. "I think that’s the rain. Did you remember to bring the umbrella?"

"Erm." Rangiku scratched at her head. She had heard that they were to have the morning off and had scrambled excitedly to find her money, like any person with sane, healthy priorities would.

"Rangiku-chan!" Ayame groaned in annoyance.

"Hey!" Rangiku protested hotly. "You have arms! You have legs! Why didn't you bring the umbrella?"

As they were bickering, the sky, thickly filled to saturation with water, finally burst. The rain which dropped fell in fat, heavy droplets which smacked against the ground. Ayame, fussy at the best of times, yelped in shocked outrage.

Rangiku grabbed her by the hand and began to run, overbalancing as she did so.

She only made it a few feet before she felt her arm yank in its socket.

"You're running the wrong way," Ayame shouted, though her voice was drowned out by the rain. Her chestnut coloured hair was stuck to her face with water.

"What?" Rangiku yelled back.

"Oh, for fuck's sake! You're runnin- you're running-" Ayame gave up and grabbed her arm and began to stride in the opposite direction. Rangiku followed blindly, an arm raised above her head to in the hope of some meagre cover.

The florist's was only two streets away, but they were soaked through and breathless by the time they arrived, Rangiku's fumbling with the door adding a good twenty seconds to the time they spent in the rain.

"Great!" Ayame complained, raising her hands in annoyance. "Chiyo gave me the morning off to improve my health, and here I am, soaked through and shivering!" She glared around the shop.

"That's not my fault!" Rangiku protested.

"I didn't say it was!"

"You aimed it in my direction!"

"I know you don't control the weather, Rangiku.” She drew herself up haughtily. “Don't be childish."

Rangiku glared mutinously. "You're not much older than me. I'm sure of it."

The shop assistant coughed politely, a hand as white as porcelain coming up to cover her delicate mouth, but Rangiku was pretty sure she could detect the hint of an amused smile beneath it. Ayame immediately looked mortified; Rangiku continued to shoot daggers at Ayame.

"I am," Ayame tried to smooth her clothes to make herself look a little more dignified, "so sorry about that. We didn't mean to create a scene."

Gin had seemed to make it his life's work to terrorise every shopkeeper he came into contact with. Rangiku hardly thought that raised voices and endless complaining warranted the level of embarrassment that Ayame was displaying.

Color flooded Ayame’s cheeks. "If you don't mind me asking,” she said in a quick bid to move on from the supposed shame of minor public disturbance, “where's Kojima-san? Is she working today? Not we have anything against you-" Ayame added hurriedly- "it's just that she has an understanding with my employer regarding prices, and my employer is very strict about this sort of thing."

There was a quiet, understanding amusement at Ayame's fumbling in the young shop assistant's violet eyes.

"Please don't worry," she said, her voice as soft and sonorous as glass chimes. "Is it the jasmine oil that you're here to purchase? I've been made aware of the arrangement, if so."

"Yes," Ayame said with a sigh of relief. "Yes, that's it. I don't believe we've met before. Have you only just started working here?"

"Six weeks ago," the shop assistant admitted shyly. "I've only just moved here."

"Oh? Did you travel far?”

The shop assistant's ears turned a delicate pink, as if she were about to divulge a shameful secret. "Inuzuri," she murmured, unable to look Ayame in the eyes.

If anyone could understand that feeling, it was Rangiku.

"Shit," she said appreciatively. "That's further than even me, I think, and I lived in the middle of fucking nowhere."

"Rangiku-chan, watch your mouth!" Ayame cried in shock.

"What have I done this time?" Rangiku complained in despair.

The shop assistant laughed then, an awkward, breathy laugh and the flush settled lightly on her cheeks. She looks good laughing, Rangiku thought. Healthier, more alive, more like a person. She smiled to see the woman’s composure waver.

"What's your name, shop assistant from Inuzuri?" she asked warmly.

"Hisana." The woman paused. “Just… Hisana.” No surname, Rangiku noted pityingly. It was not unusual for those from the poorest districts not to have one.

“I’m Rangiku, and this lovely lady,” she draped a clumsy arm over Ayame, “is Ayame.”

There was a short awkward pause whilst Hisana looked them over, during which the drumming noise of the rain filled the shop.

They were soaked, and their thin yukata had done nothing to prevent them from being soaked through to the skin by the weather. A cold, dim light filled the shop, second-hand light filtered through the rain clouds. Rangiku’s tabi squelched in her sandals as she shifted her weight, her chin raised pridefully as Hisana looked them over.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” Hisana said formally. She looked at them thoughtfully for a beat. “What perfect names you both have for the setting.”

Ayame wrinkled her delicate nose, but it was Rangiku who explained.

“We get that a lot, in our line of work. Men always think they’re so original.” Rangiku put on a comically gruff, masculine voice. “’’Lovely little flowers. I’d love to pluck your petals,’ and all that rubbish. It makes my skin crawl. What losers. They always think they’re so original as well, the smelly goats.”

Hisana looked confused, but was too polite to pry further into their employment histories. It was, Rangiku figured wryly, probably why she worked at a florist and not behind the bar in a whorehouse.

“The rain is pouring down very heavily,” Hisana noted, “and neither of you seem to have an umbrella. Would you like to stay here while the rain eases off? I could make a pot of tea.” There was a desperate look in her eye.

Ayame looked torn- it was very wet outside, but she was uncomfortable imposing too long on someone else’s kindness.

Rangiku had no such qualms.

“Hisana-chan!” she cried out, tripping over her feet in an effort to take Hisana’s hands in her own. “You’re our very own saviour! Thank you!” She barely paused. “Do you have yuzu flavoured tea?”

“Rangiku-chan!” Ayame scolded.

“What? She offered!”

HIsana shook her head regretfully. “I’m afraid we don’t have any yuzu tea. Only standard green tea.” Anxiety entered her voice. “Will that suffice? Is that alright?” she asked, a slight worry in her eyes.

Ayame nodded firmly. “Pay no attention to Rangiku-chan, that klutz. Green tea would be lovely. Thank you for your kindness.”

Whilst Hisana pottered about making tea in the shop’s backrooms, Rangiku took the time to look closely at the wares.

Autumn was just beginning to set in, and the shop had wild bunches of the last of the summer cosmos on display, tied with string, pink and yellow and orange, childishly bright. The elegant, slender petaled chrysanthemum flower that was her namesake was also on display in singles and doubles, and she bent her head down to smell them, her nose filling with their green, aqueous smell. It was usually the second to last flower to bloom in the year. There had been no chrysanthemums growing where she had grown up, and she had scarcely known that she was named for a flower. It wasn’t until Yuki had offered to make her a cup of chrysanthemum tea that she had learned that fact.

As she cast her eyes around, they landed finally on a familiar sight, a scarlet nest of spindly protrusions, grown from a bulb, fierce and scarlet and beautiful.

Her eyes went wide.

He had been full of happy impatience, that day; all smiles and nervous movements. He had wanted to give it to her, that patch of ground, had wanted to make a present of it. She had not known at the time, but it had been his way of saying this is your home, this garden is mine but it is yours too, put something of yourself into it so that you can know that it belongs to you, that you built something here with me, that we were here together. "This spot is for ya'.” He had said. “Grow whatever ya' want here- onions, scallions, garlic, cress, cabbage. Whatever ya' want."

“Here. Give them to me. I'll carry 'em for ya’."

"They're pretty. This was a good idea ya' had. I wonder what these are?"

“The fox is having his wedding…”

He had given her a spot of her own in the garden in which to grow whatever she’d wanted, and she had wanted flowers. She had raced to the river and dug the flowers out of the riverbed with her bare hands, carrying them back bulb and all.

She had greeted him with mud on her face and arms full of spider lilies, and he had pronounced them beautiful.

He had barely looked at the flowers. She had thought that he must have been lying, just to appease her.

They were the first thing that they had put in the flower bed, and her spider lilies had returned every year after, as constant and steadfast as the rain. They had always bloomed for his birthday, and for hers too, thriving brightly as the world around them was beginning to decay.

It had been so long since she had seen them, and her heart ached all of a sudden for a ramshackle garden and a rundown house, for happy summer days, and for a boy made of smiles and silver, all so far away.

Hisana had returned with the pot of tea, and she poured a cup for each of them. In the damp autumn chill, the steam from the tea condensed quickly, spiralling and smoking in the air.

I need to have one, she thought. She burned with it, suddenly, the need to have some reminder, some memento, some thing that could tie her present to her past, something to convince her that it had been real.

(Because it had been real. Hadn’t it?)

(Hadn’t it?)

“Hisana?” Rangiku asked abruptly. “How much is it for one of these?”

Hisana’s hands flew to her mouth as if she had sparked off a catastrophe.

“Oh,” she said gravely. “I didn’t realise. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Rangiku’s face contorted in confusion.  “Huh?” she asked, her mouth a small ‘o’.

Hisana took her hand gently. “You’ve not lost someone?”

Rangiku blinked. “No…?” She laughed loudly, retracting her hand to thread it nervously through her hair.

“Oh. Then I’m sorry. The higanbana is not a pleasant flower,” Hisana said in a small voice. “We only stock them for O-Higan, so that people might commemorate their loved ones who have passed on.”

Rangiku was silent, her brow wrinkled.

Ayame looked at her gently. “They’re flowers for the dead, Rangiku-chan,” she said. “People put them near graves, so that vermin won’t get at the bodies.”

“I didn’t know that,” Rangiku said quietly, a strange despair curling in her belly. “I always just thought that they were pretty.”

Hisana was a kind soul, and she rallied quickly to try and brighten Rangiku’s spirits.

“They are very pretty, and they do look interesting. There aren’t many flowers that look like a spider lily, and not many flowers at all grow so late in the year. And there are so many stories about them. They’re interesting flowers really.” She smiled enthusiastically.

Ayame was contemplative. 

“They say that once upon a time, the flower was the most sacred flower of all,” she said pensively. “Two spirits were commanded to guard the plant. One guarded the leaves, and the other the flower. But the tragedy was the leaves and the flower can never grow at the same time, so the spirits could never see each other.

But the spirits fell in love anyway, though the stories never tell that part. They decided to run away together, to become everything to one another, defying every law of the gods in the process. The gods raged at their disobedience, as all gods do, drunk and violent in their power, and they decided to punish the lovers for their insolence, for daring to abandon their god-demanded duty.

They would never meet again for all eternity, and never will, not until every star in the sky blackens and sputters out. Not until the sun and moon embrace each other in the sky without covering one another up. Not even then. They say that lovers doomed never to see each other again will still see higanbana growing along their path to this day, because of those two spirits. Red spider lilies.”

Rangiku’s expression must have been strange, because Hisana took her hand gently and looked her in the eyes earnestly.

“They’re just stories, Rangiku-kun,” she said kindly. “It is also said that the higanbana light the way to the next life, for what that’s worth. So they’re not all bad. You shouldn’t let stories get in the way of a pretty thing. If you want one, you should buy one.”

But something of the melancholy of the story had worked its way deep into her heart, and she felt like an empty-headed fool all of a sudden to have liked them so openly and enthusiastically.

Knowing the sad truth behind the lovely scarlet flowers, she was certain that she would never be able to look at them in the same way ever again. Joy in their beauty and all of her fond, sun-lit memories would be tinged forever now with a streak of sadness, like a line of spilled blue ink.

She could not stand the sight of them.

Outside, the drumming of the rain was beginning to slow.

She laughed a bright, fragile laugh, but it sounded a little hollow even to her own ears.

"No, no," she said, "I wouldn't want something as depressing as that in my room, Hisana-chan. Only pink cosmos for me from now on. You've done me a favor in any case, because I was going to spend my money on mochi, not flowers." She grasped around desperately for a change in subject, so that the two women would stop giving her such pitying looks. "Good job that your boss isn't here! What would she think of Hisana actively stopping her customers from buying flowers, eh?"

When she laughed this time, it was more genuine.

Hisana blanched in anxiety.

"It's okay, it's okay," Rangiku said smiling, and sipped at her tea. "We won't tell if you don't."

Ayame glared daggers at Rangiku, who pulled a face at her in return. "When does O-higan start this year, Hisana-san?" she asked, kindly changing the topic for Hisana.

"Tomorrow, actually. It's a little bit later this year, apparently. O-higan follows the movement of the sun, or something like that," Hisana paused thoughtfully. "Or at least, that's what I've heard. It will end on the 29th though."

"Due to the nature of our, ah, work, it's very easy to lose track of time. Days and nights kind of all blur together. September already..." She trailed off suddenly into a fraught silence, looking unsettled, like the end of September heralded a death sentence.

Rangiku had other concerns.

"It's only a week until my birthday!" Rangiku yelped.

Hisana looked very confused.

"I do not know your line of work," she said politely, "but do you not have calendars there?" The question seemed genuine, but Rangiku pointed her finger at her all the same.

"Ayame-chan! Look at this! Hisana-chan has only known us for forty minutes, and she's already giving us sass about our inability to keep track of time. She knows us both so well already!"

Hisana looked shocked, but it only lasted a moment before she broke into a delicate, tinkling laugh. "I don't quite know how to respond to that. Happy birthday then, if I'm not fortunate enough to see you again before next week."

Ayame stood abruptly. "We should go, Rangiku-chan. We have chores to do, and the rain has eased off," she said shortly, her expression stormy.

"Eh? But I was having fun talking " Rangiku complained.

"We shouldn't infringe too long on Hisana-san's hospitality. We're keeping her from her job."

Rangiku was about to protest that the shop was empty, and likely to be empty for the rest of the morning, with the weather being as bad as it was, but she stopped herself when she caught sight of Ayame's troubled features. Her eyes narrowed.

"Okay," she nodded quietly. "Let's go."

If Hisana found their sudden departure rude or unexpected, it did not show on her smooth, polite face. "Don't forget the jasmine oil you ordered," she reminded them courteously.

Ayame looked at her. "Thank you. I might have, had you not reminded me." She paused, and her expression softened slightly. "Thank you so much for giving us shelter from the storm, and for the tea you made us. You didn't need to do that. Kindness is rare, even here. We appreciate it."

Hisana smiled sadly. "I've not met many people since I've moved here.” She ringed her delicate, pale wrists with her hands anxiously. “I left everyo- thing behind in Inuzuri. I spend most of my days here, in the shop, alone. It was nice just to have someone to talk with."

"Then I'll definitely come again when I next have a morning free," Rangiku vowed. Ayame gave her a sharp look, and she swiftly moved to correct her.

"Rangiku-chan doesn't get many mornings off, so that might be difficult," she said smoothly. "But I do. I'll definitely visit."

Rangiku was puzzled, but said nothing. They made their farewells, and left soon after.

As they turned the corner, Rangiku craned her neck to look back. Hisana sat behind the counter, alone. Her pale fingers played slowly with the petals of the spider lily.

It made for a sad picture.

The rain had stopped, but the cobbles on the street were slick with rainwater.

Gigantic puddles stretched across the street and captured the sky in their flat, reflective surfaces. It seemed to Rangiku that there was a second sky right at her feet, that she was walking above it, and that with every step, she might fall through the clouds. It was a dizzying, vertiginous feeling, like standing on the precipice and preparing to let herself fall. Her heart beat an odd, syncopated rhythm against her ribcage, and she could feel her pulse in her neck, and it made her feel slightly sick. A strange sense of unease settled over her.

They walked in silence, Ayame's face tight with some unspoken emotion, Rangiku's eyes downcast.

They bought the lye soap Chiyo requested, and stopped at a market stall so that Rangiku could buy her mochi, but by the time it was time for her to order, she had changed her mind and decided to buy herself hanami dango instead. It was almost time for them to be returning to the Floating Moon, and she figured that it would be more easy to eat dango as they walked across the bridge to get home.

Home.

She was just starting to eat the red bean dango, when Ayame stopped abruptly in front of her. Rangiku was so absorbed in eating that she walked barged into Ayame's back.

Her eyes flashed in irritation. "Hey!" she hissed, outraged. "Don't just stop in the middle of the road! I could have dropped my dango, and then we would have had to go back so that I could buy more." She pouted childishly.

Ayame closed her eyes and inhaled as if trying to reign in her temper. She exhaled steadily, and when she opened her eyes again, she said:

"You and I need to talk. Properly this time. No stupid games."

"I've not done anything wrong," Rangiku insisted immediately.

"No,” she said. “No you haven't. But you're making a huge mistake, Rangiku-chan."

Rangiku looked up from her dango and gave Ayame her full attention. "Hm?" she said, taking a bite.

"You're making a mistake." Ayame repeated quietly.

"What do you mean?" Something twisted nervously inside her at Ayame's tone of voice.

"Why are you here?"

Rangiku didn't understand.

"I work here.”

“No, Rangiku. You know what I mean.”

She didn’t.

“I need to eat, and this job's better than the alternatives,” Rangiku protested weakly. “And anyway, I like it. I like being around you, and Yuki-san, and Sayaka-chan, and Rin-san, and everyone else. I like being useful." To Rangiku, it was simple. She needed to eat, yes, but more than that, much stronger still, though she would never tell Ayame, she knew that she would sooner die than be alone again.

"Rangiku..."

Ayame sighed. Something in her seemed to crumple in on itself then, as if some iron pillar in her had collapsed under an immense weight. She looked Rangiku straight in the eyes, and her brown eyes were bright and almost desperate. Rangiku stared into them uncomprehending, and she tried to smile, to get Ayame to smile with her, but it was no use. Her gaze was almost too uncomfortable to bear.

"Not everyone is as lucky as you," Ayame gritted out. "Not everyone gets a choice. How do you think Yuki got started? She was thrown out of her house because she was found kissing girls, and had nowhere else to go. Sayaka? Sayaka was hooked on drugs when she was too young and trusting to know any better. Rin? Fled a marriage to a prosperous man who nearly killed her. She still has the scars on her back. Rangiku-" Ayame's voice caught in her throat, "don't make the mistake of glamorizing this. All of us were desperate. None of us had a choice. Maybe there are some girls out there who are lucky enough to have a say in whether they do this or not, and frankly, more power to them if they do. But never forget for a moment- for most of us, there is no choice, and there never has been."

Rangiku breath caught in her throat. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked weakly.

"Do you know how many of us get our start? We're sold into it. That's how it was for me, and that's normal." Ayame swallowed. "I've only just paid off my starting debt. I could leave, but there's no other way I'd be able to make money, so I'd just find myself back where I started, on the street. Girls like me- we’re trapped." She paused, and when she spoke, her voice was thick. "But you're not. You could leave today if you wanted. You could leave now. You've got power. You've got prospects. Why don't you understand? Why won’t you leave?"

Rangiku could feel a kind of hot shame curling in her chest. Her voice wavered when she spoke. "But who would keep you safe?" she said, her hands balling up in her yukata. "You need me." She was certain of that. "I keep you safe. You need me."

The look Ayame gave her was unspeakably soft.

Her words were not.

"We don't need you," she said gently. "We were alright before you came, and we'll be alright after you're gone." She paused, and when she repeated herself, she sounded so thoroughly matter of fact that Rangiku wanted to cry. “We don’t need you at all.”

Her cheeks were suddenly wet, and her dango felt sticky against her hand, but she barely noticed.

It's happening again, Rangiku thought dully. Why? Why does this always happen?

She had made this, this small thing for herself, this space of shared jokes and shared nights; she had folded herself inside it, had made herself indispensable to it in the hope that she would not ever have to suffer loneliness again. It was her sandcastle, standing small and proud on the shoreline, the work of childish hands and clumsy labour, and she had smiled to see it, to know that it was hers and hers alone.

But the tide was coming in. There was one truth for her, though never for anyone else it seemed: there could be no security anywhere in the world. Just this: the futile effort of building, building, building, just to see it all swept away in the end.

"That's the truth," Ayame said and her voice cracked. "We don’t need you. You'd never have to see any of the awful things you see regularly here ever again. Do you think it's healthy? To be responsible for the safety of so many people at your age? To have seen the things you've seen?"

Rangiku cheeks burned. Her mind replayed Ayame's words over and over again on repeat; we don't need you.

"Rangiku," Ayame said, her voice low and urgent. "Do you really think Chiyo is content to let someone like you sit around playing barmaid when you could be making her money? When I'm gone, the first thing she'll do is coerce you into whoring yourself out for her in my place. I'm on your side, and I will be even when no one else is- you have to listen to me."

It was this which snapped her attention back to Ayame.

"What do you mean, 'When I'm gone'?" she asked, her voice small and tremulous.

But Ayame was tight-lipped and would not say anymore.

"There is a place for you. Out there, behind those pale stone walls. The new term starts in January. If you aren't there, in that stupid uniform, when it starts-" her voice came out of her throat almost like a sob "-then I'll kick your ass into next Tuesday. I swear it. I will. I don’t have powers, but I’ll do it."

Rangiku was dazed. It felt as if the entire world had tilted sideways, like she had stepped through the clouds and she was falling through space.

"What is happening...?" she mumbled to herself in horrified wonder.

Behind gray clouds, the sun was beginning to dip below the skyline, and the shadows of the golden leaved gingkos and fire-garbed maple trees were beginning to crawl and lengthen over the cobbled street. What little sunlight was to be found played idly on the slow eddies of the river below.

She watched Ayame looked up at the sky, her expression unreadable.

How fragile, this life. How easily it crumbles apart.

Ayame sighed. Ragiku watched her as she readjusted her yukata neatly, as fastidious as ever.

"We'd best get back," she said with distantly. “The gong will be sounding soon.”

She walked ahead, and Rangiku watched her as her green-clad back got smaller and smaller , before finally disappearing around a corner.

Rangiku looked helplessly at the dango in her hand. Her hands were sticky, like a child’s.

With a heavy sigh, she lobbed the stick into the air.

It tumbled several inelegant somersaults before splashing into the water below. She was no longer hungry. She felt sick.

#bleach #ginran #gin ichimaru #rangiku matsumoto #hisana kuchiki #spider lilies #real life is kicking my ass #writing is just... not feasible for me rn #fyi check out gxlden's new fic on AO3 #sterling characterisation #places due importance on Gin's relationship with Aizen AND Rangiku #*chef's kiss*

[merryfortune]

Day 24 - Blessed

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc V

Ship: Ruri/Yuzu

Word Count: 1.2

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Surreal Elements, Fluff with a Sad Ending

  Yuzu opened her eyes to the wind, and she saw a pristine, azure sky and scattered clouds.

  She inhaled deeply. There was a lack of pollution, there for it wasn’t Commons from Satellite nor was it so cloying clean which signalled that it was from Tops either which was odd. Wind was usually Rin’s domain. Given that it wasn’t a familiar or nostalgic breeze, Yuzu knew this wasn’t her wind from Maimi City either and as that it wasn’t tropical tasting, she knew this wasn’t Serena’s dream either.

  Then she heard the birdsong. Sweet, subtle, almost mournful and Yuzu had the revelation.

  Yuzu was dreaming. It happened occasionally that things would meld together and overlap. They were their own persons, just all in one body. It was confusing and headache inducing but that was life. Their lives. And she was sharing this dream with Ruri.

  Yuzu tried to get to her feet, but she lost her balance quickly. She screamed as she landed with a thud on the tiles. Ruri laughed. Yuzu turned her head.

  Had she always been there?

  At the other end of the slate blue roof, Ruri laughed into her hand. It was sweet laugh, maybe a touch mischievous but otherwise good natured.

 “Do you want to come play?” Ruri asked when she ceased her bout of laughter.

  “Love to.” Yuzu replied.

  Ruri got to her feet and she did so elegantly. Her yellow sundress fluttered in the breeze and she inhaled. There was a bittersweet smile on her face and the moment lingered. Only to fade. She came in closer to Yuzu and offered Yuzu her hand.

  “My brother and I, we used to hang out on the roof all the time.” Ruri explained as she pulled Yuzu to her feet; she was such a gentle-seeming girl, but she was also hardened by war and poverty, Yuzu sometimes forgot that. “We just can’t get enough of high places for some reason but luckily for us, there are all sorts of high places in Heartland.”

  Yuzu noticed Ruri’s eyes slide to her peripheries. Yuzu turned the whole of her head. In the distance, beyond this residential zone and then beyond the central business district and all the little precincts and whatnot in the between, there was a gorgeous and elaborate tower: Heartland’s pride.

  “Follow me.” Ruri said.

  Yuzu wasn’t even given the chance to accept or deny her impish request. Ruri tugged on her hand and Yuzu came tumbling. Ruri threw them both into the wind. She screamed with laughter; Yuzu screamed with terror as they were both taken by the wind which carried birdsong.

  They both landed on their feet, like cats, with two thuds each foot and then, they weren’t at Ruri’s house anymore. They were in a park. It was quiet; mid-afternoon. Before, it had felt like morning. Now, there was an autumnal crispness to the air which Yuzu couldn’t explain, before had felt like summer.

  Ruri had a skip in her step, hands behind her back, as she approached the swings. She sat down on one and beckoned Yuzu closer. She sat down at the swing beside them. Yuzu kicked off and Ruri followed suit.

  It was fun. Earnestly fun to go to and fro like they did. Ruri beamed, squealing with joy, as she went through the motions. Yuzu wasn’t nearly as rapturous, but she felt something like adrenaline in her, nonetheless. But as she went higher and higher into the air, she began to glimpse it.

  Ruri’s sorrow.

  Her Heartland was empty. Not even the spectre of her brother lingered in all these empty streets and quiet houses. Then again, it was like that for the other girls; they couldn’t be expected to remember everything about the world they had once come from. It just felt sadder in Ruri’s case, for Yuzu anyway. Her stomach twisted with both guilt and inertia.

  And then, sometimes the façade would crack. The yellow streets, laden with joy, would turn grey. Concrete would crack and break then fix itself so it would return to some semblance of before: before the Invasion. But it knew, deep down, that the environment was an illusion and there could be no before. Only present. And the present was horrifying. Stricken with war and attempting to make amends.

  At the top of her arc, Ruri kicked off. And she soared through the air like a fumbling baby sparrow all whilst she reeled with joy and laughter. As she landed, skidding slightly but not tumbling, Yuzu wondered how much of it was for show, desperation to return to her homeland which didn’t exist anymore: metaphorically and physically.

  Ruri spun on her heel. “Come on, Yuzu, it’s fun!” she called out.

  The park was beginning to darken. Streetlights were beginning to become lit; orangey and murky.

  “Alright.” Yuzu replied, chirpy.

  Yuzu pushed all her strength into the next swing and at the peak of the arc, she bolted off the swingset. It jumped behind her. She indulged in a little show of acrobatics. Anything Ruri could do, she could do better because she was an Entertainment Duelist. Ruri laughed, heavenly, as she watched Yuzu play the clown for once in her life.

  After her little somersault, Yuzu felt dizzy. Night crashed down around her and lights, so many lights of so many prismatic colours, lit around her. She wasn’t in the park anymore. Ruri stared to her, loving, and Yuzu wondered if she knew the dream had changed. Shifted. No longer were they in the park, they were now at the base of the Heartland Tower and it took Yuzu’s breath away to see such a majestic and spectacular building up close and yet, Ruri seemed so bizarrely indifferent to it; Yuzu thought she would have been ecstatic. Instead, there was a sombreness, not a cheer, to her demeanour.

  Ruri drew in closer, her body had a slight sway to it like she was tired. Exhausted. She took Yuzu’s hands. Their bracelets clinked together upon contact. It was comforting and her voice dropped to a whisper.

  “I’m glad I was able to show you this Heartland.” Ruri murmured, her face millimetres from Yuzu’s.

  “I’m glad I got to see this Heartland.” Yuzu replied, breathless.

  She wondered what her face looked like to Ruri given that she was so close and there was such a lovely shine in her eyes. Then again, Yuzu didn’t have to wonder. It was silly. They shared the same face after all and Ruri looked sublime as she was: draped in darkness on half of her face and painted with all the colours of Heartland in the other. Yet, there was a crinkle of tears in her maroon eyes which were so far gone that they looked entirely black like her pupils.

  Ruri kissed Yuzu. Yuzu closed her eyes and kissed back. She suspected that Ruri was staring because she could feel that little uncomfortableness in her own body as she kissed Ruri who was feather soft and so, so lonely.

  And made to be even lonelier when Yuzu vanished, woke up, right before her eyes. But it was fortuitous timing, Ruri supposed when her hands became empty and her lips became numb. She looked around. She no longer saw the colourful and glowing Heartland that she would always love and cherish. She found herself in war once more. It was morning and an unforgivingly frigid one at that. Around her, in her terror, it was clattering, clamouring, chaotic: raids and sirens and it made her buckle down, hands clamping over her ears, begging and praying for some blessing to find her once more. Like Yuzu.

  In bitter acknowledgement of her situation, at least Heartland was lively once more.

#femslashfeb2019 #femslash #femslash february #whistleshipping #yugioh arc v #arc v #yugioh #yuzu hiiragi #hiiragi yuzu #zuzu boyle #kurosaki ruri #ruri kurosaki #lulu obsi #writing tag #clover and violets #i have to get ready for class but instead i slammed out 1.2k of whistleship feels

[princessbubblegumlover]

here’s a fanfic i did

Mei this and Mei that, Mei Mei Mei...

I sighed heavily, my blonde friend Yuzu hadn't stopped going on about her little sister "I just don't know what I should do? She pushes me away when I try to help her." She pouted sadly.

It broke my heart Yuzu was clearly hella gay for Mei and all she was getting was heartache, it wasn't right. Yuzu is a cinnamon roll too pure to get hurt like that, I glanced up into her eyes, we were sitting close together on my bed so i had a great view of her beautiful green eyes, I blushed a little, hopefully she wouldn't notice, she never seems to and god knows I blushed around this angel a lot.

Yuzu sighed sadly looking up to me "i'm sorry to bore you about Mei again, I just want to help her so much you know? Be a good big sister"

I couldn't help but scoff at that, it was clear she wanted to be more than a good big sis, but she would never admit to it, I had tried in the past hinting I knew hoping she'd confess and I could help her get over this pain in the ass, because that's all Mei was to her at the moment, she just couldn't see it because she was a useless lesbian and maybe one day she might notice my blushes... "Hey its all cool Yuzu-chi, but honestly you're worrying waaaay too much about the prez, you just need to take a break and do stuff" I thought for a moment what could she do to take her mind off of Mei and that doesn't involve making out with me right now, because that would be too gay and awkward to say out loud... or would it? if I played it off as a joke well she'll smile and laugh or it could turn into one of those porno scenarios "you should do some girly stuff you know with me, like do each others make up, watch a rubbish cheesy horror movie, make out on my bed, make cookies, you know fun stuff" I shrugged as if i hadn't said anything odd at all.

Yuzu look puzzled a little "w-what was the one before cookies" she questioned.

"movie" i grinned.

she squinted her eyes at me "no no i'm pretty sure you said something else"

I laughed out loud "sorry Yuzu-chi I couldn't resist freaking you out a bit, your face is adorable when you're confused" I jokingly leaned closer to her "unless you want to"

she pushed me aside blushing furiously "stop that you" she scratched the tip of her nose "so you know how umm..." she blushed more "the girls at school sometimes mess about with other girls, h-have you... y-you know?" she was so adorable right now i might lose control and kiss her and then fly kick Mei.

"me?" I had actually never mess around with anyone before, though i was pretty touchy with most people, "yeah a million girls, they all love me" i joked

Yuzu playfully pushed me a little again "i'm being serious" she suddenly jumped "n-not that i'm serious serious more of... yeah"

I petted her head "I know what you mean, and no I haven't, not yet I mean" i winked, this might be a good time to get her to confess about the Prez "what about you? you seem the type, especially since you bought that yuri manga"

i could literally see the steam coming out of her ears "i-i-i-i  n-no nope!" well there goes her confessing her gayness. Suddenly an idea came to my mind.

"I've always been curious as to what all the hype is about with students fooling around with their friends" I put my finger to my lip "girls have super soft lips so two soft lips must feel great, what do you think?" I could see her sweating

"umm i-i i have no idea, lets bake those cookies now!" she stood up abruptly

I pouted and crawled across the bed closer to her "aww Yuzu-chi are you shy about it? don't be i've never been with a girl either... or are you freaking out because you have?" i gasped over dramatically "Yuzu senpai!" I gushed jokingly.

"w-what no i- i - umm i just umm" bingo I got her "Harumin we're friends right? and you're usually super chill about this kind of stuff... I think..." she looked around nervously

"of course" perfect, she'll confess her one sided love to Mei and I'll be the only person she can come to for help and slowly destroy her love for Mei, not that I was a bitch or anything but Mei was seriously cruel to Yuzu, and if I happened to be the one he heart goes to in the end, then that's a happily ever after right?

"ok..." she paced herself around my room her hands shaking "so Mei and i are kind of dating..."

Oh.

my heart began to hurt, dating?! no they cant be, wasn't it only one sided? Mei was horrible and cruel and mean and ugh just everything not right for Yuzu, my precious Yuzu... i love her... but i guess my love for her is one sided, there was always a chance she would reject me if she knew but this was different, i couldn't confess to her now i couldn't know what could be, i would be a bitch now if i tried to get Yuzu to get over Mei, my chest killed and i felt heavy, i could't let Yuzu see how i was truly feeling... not now...

i composed myself back to normally quite quickly "dating eh?" my voice cracked a little dammit get a hold of yourself girl!

"yeah..." she took a deep breath and exhaled "i'm sorry it took me so long to tell you but you know i just couldn't... please don't hate me or Mei" she carefully sat next to me

I could never hate her never, sure this made me hate Mei even more for being so horrible to her girlfriend! "of course not Yuzu, i'm a bit surprised though... kind of..."

"oh what do you mean kind of" she tilted her head

"well i knew you loved her, you were so obvious but i always assumed it was one sided, not to sound rude or anything but Mei's not exactly that nice to you" i sighed

she leaned in closer to me "she is kind to me..." she didn't sound fully convinced herself "its hard to explain, but Mei is a good person" she smiled

i tried to smile back but it came out as a little too fake "well as long as your happy then that's fine" its not fine...

she jumped on me giving me a deadly cuddle "thank you Harumin, i knew you'd understand its just so complicated you know?" i tensed up, i wanted to cry  being with her and hearing this hurt

i held onto her tight "of course i understand i love you you know" i love you in a different way of course "as long as Yuzu-chi is happy" my voice cracked again shit

she loosened her grip on me "are you really ok..."

"of course i am..." lets just change the subject

"you sound weird..." she tried to pull away and look at my face but i held her tightly "Harumin?" she questioned

think of an excuse... "i'm just jealous... you're my senpai now you know?" a terrible lie

"i-i'm sorry, well don't be too sad, we haven't done much.. well... no we haven't done much" she giggled

stop please i cant, i gritted my teeth "funny"

"ok now i know you aren't fine with this" she pushed me away hard, i lost my grip, my only cover from avoiding those beautiful beautiful green eyes. i hung my head, it hurt "speak to me Harumin please" she tried to lift up my head

"i'm fine"

she put her face close to mine "don't lie, if i disgust you just tell me" she was so concerned with me... this was so stupid "look at me Harumin!" she snapped "do you hate me now knowing i like girls?"

my head slowly lifted up, her eyes were teary, she thought i was rejecting her sexuality, no...

suddenly with out a thought i pounced on her and crashed my lips against hers i had no idea what i was doing, she laid on my bed while i was on top, i love her, i pulled away and looked at a stunned Yuzu her blonde hair a mess "ill never be disgusted with you, i love you!" my voice broke into an ugly cry, this was real bad "you're my best friend... a-and that kiss was because i wanted to show you its ok to like girls" i wiped my eyes "stupid way right? i just felt bad you thought i thought that way about you when i don't, i was just stunned because its Mei, the school Prez" i got off of her and helped her up "sorry, it was an emotional scene" least i could control my emotions better after that cry "sorry" i smiled

Yuzu looked so dazed "i-its ok... i just wasn't expecting that" she shook her head "i think i must of hit my head or you're just an amazing kisser..."

i laughed "i am a good kisser, we can try even more if you want if you're still unsure, after all i need to catch up with my senpai" i winked, so awkward

"yeah... maybe... i mean no! no no no i'm with Mei sorry" she stood up "i'm just a bit dizzy i''m gonna go to the toilet" and with that she left

"oh god" i hit my head with my pillow repeatedly what the hell, was this good or bad?!

#Citrus Saburouta #yuzu aihara #harumi taniguchi #mei aihara #fanfic #its so bad #i'm only posting it because my partner and friend suggested it #citrus #citrus manga

[sonnetxli]

All of the Lights

May 13

Tokyo - Odaiba, Asakusa, Ueno

Unfortunately I was not feeling well overnight so I only slept for about 5 hours, but by the time morning came my stomach had settled and I was ready to tackle the day!

We got up fairly early and dropped by our neighborhood Family Mart - one of many, many convenience stores in the area - to pick up a few things, including breakfast. I picked a small baked item that looked delicious which turned out to be a cream and chocolate-filled crepe - and it WAS delicious.

Then we made our way to the neighborhood of Odaiba to locate the digital art installation called teamlab borderless. I had seen it online and had it recommended to me but read that it could get quite busy so we had pre-purchased our tickets. We arrived a little bit before opening time but they let us in early, which was lovely! Entry was smooth and quite quick.

teamlab borderless is a dynamic set of rooms and interactive areas where they use lights, music, and sound to create different visual effects. The patterns and pictures change all the time, so even if you come back to the same room twice it will not look as it did before. The whole area is quite dark, so I stuck to Gianna while she led the way through the various halls, stairs, and rooms.

By getting an early start we were able to beat a lot of the crowds and it seemed like we were perfectly on the first wave of visitors as each time we arrived at a room it wasn’t too busy, but by the time we were leaving that room it was filling up. It was fantastic!!!

There are so many amazing things to see at teamlab that it’s hard to summarize them well, but some of the experiences and highlights include: the Floating Nest, where you take off your shoes and walk across a net to then lay down and watch a light show; the Lantern Room, full of lights that resemble floating lanterns and change colors all the time; a lily-pad room that you could wade your way through; a bouldering area where you could climb through matched by color and sound; a delightfully slippery slide that made me feel like a kid again; a hilly room full of creatures like whales and frogs moving across the floor; a waterfall room with stunning water-like light effects; a wave room with thrashing, crashing waves; and a number of hallways sprouting flowers, shimmering with fireflies in bamboo forests, or with floral animals lumbering along.

We also decided to take part in the tea room experience for a small extra cost. Here you chose a tea - we both went with the iced green tea with yuzu - and sat along a long table to be served. Then they used lights to have flowers bloom in your teacup. The flowers would bloom unendingly, slowly unfurling on the foamy surface; if you picked up the cup to sip the tea and then replaced it on the table a shower of flower petals would dance away from your cup. It was a great break from the surprisingly active art displays (we were ready to sit down!) and a pretty display.

After the tea room we checked back on a couple of places to see the differences that had arrived over time, and then made our exit. We were quite surprised - and pleased - to see just how long the line had become to enter the museum (and this was the line for ticket holders, at that) and thus appreciate how we came at exactly the right time.

Right next to the entrance was a large Ferris wheel that we had chatted about going on earlier, so now that it was open we headed that way. I think we might have been the only ones on it at the time - the staff were all quite eager to usher us on. Anyways, it was a fun ride and a lovely view from the top - the bay and the futuristic neighborhood were all on display, along with a rather iconic-looking building that I recognized but could not remember the name of at the time (it’s the Fuji TV building). We took some pictures and then on the way down Gianna pointed out a park area that we could visit next. We promptly walked over and enjoyed a stroll through the gardens, complete with roses and butterflies and a beautiful ivied trellis built over a pair of vending machines - a beauty matched with function approach that is ubiquitous in Japan.

Feeling hungry, we decided to loop back to the mall nearby to visit the food court. We were both a bit tired - still adjusting to the time change - and I was feeling a little dizzy so we slowly walked along the stores to see the food options. We settled on a chicken and rice place and both ordered katsu or breaded meat cutlet, which came with salad, rice, and miso soup (oh and an unidentified item that was small, brown and thin - but it was decent so I ate it.) The taste was very good and it was nice to sit and rest for a bit, although I still felt a bit sleepy.

We decided to head to Asakusa next so we hopped back on the train. It’s quite fun to take trains out of Odaiba as much of it is surrounded by water so you get to take a train over a bridge. Ours ended up having a complete spiral in it that was rather fascinating!

We reached Asakusa and you could really feel that it is a touristy area. After taking a photo of the front gate, we plunged into the crowd along Nakamise Street, where rows of small shops selling traditional Japanese goods line the main walking path. Gianna was looking for a wallet so it was nice to pop in and out of stores with a goal in mind. We walked the full length of the street, checking products and prices along the way, briefly enjoyed the views of the actual temple at the end (which isn’t too big in terms of grounds, or at least not that I could see) and then went back along the shopping street so G could buy the wallet she had in mind. Purchase successfully made, we decided to head down a side covered street with a slightly bigger variety of shops. There was a lovely shop with cups, plates, chopsticks, and so on that I liked the style of and I ended up finding a cute tiny cup to buy.

We walked all the way down this new shopping street and then debated what to do next. I knew that Ueno Park was somewhere around the same area but wasn’t sure how far away it was. After looking it up I could see that it was the next neighborhood over - a fair walk, but more direct than going all the way back to the station to then take the train over. We decided to just go for it and walk.

This turned out to be both the best and worst decision of the day. Best, because even one or two blocks into our journey we were already away from the crowds and tourists and into what I like to think of as “real” Japan - actual normal side streets with houses and small businesses and school kids and cyclists and people going about their everyday lives. Walking along these kinds of places is my absolute favorite thing about visiting a country as you really feel what it might be like to live there. It was a delight, in that sense! And worst, because it really was a decently long walk and we had both decided to wear sandals for the day - tried and true ones, but ones we hadn’t worn since last summer - so by the time we were close to Ueno our feet were killing us.

As we reached Ueno station we had to try to figure out how to get to the other side to reach the park. G spotted a number of people going in to a certain entrance and that turned out to be a way in to the station. After another long walk inside we came out and found that we still weren’t quite where we needed to be. Gianna to the rescue again - she spotted an escalator up to a bridge that crossed over to the park. This turned out to be an entrance into Ueno Station also (called Panda Bridge) and we spent a moment resting there before continuing across to the park. There, we dragged our tired feet to a bench at the close side of the park (having been there before I can assure you that it is a MASSIVE area, but we did not have the energy to go beyond the one side). We actually sat here for quite a while just enjoying the scenery, people- and animal-watching, and alternately chatting or listening to the birds and other animals. The breeze was nice but a little too cold for my taste (G loved it), but we still sat relatively comfortably for about an hour.

Finally we summoned our energy and headed back to the station via our friend Panda Bridge. We considered dinner at the station but after assessing the choices opted to return to our hotel and simply buy ramen from the convenience store to make in our room. All in all we were quite pleased with our first full day’s adventure in Tokyo!

[rinscafe]

Summer 2018 Anime Lineup

Here are the anime series I recommend for Summer 2018. This is not a complete list. You can view a complete list of anime series at Anichart.net Island -Airs July 1, 2018 (Sun) -Urashima, an island far from the mainland. The people who live there lead carefree lives. But five years ago, the island's three great families suffered a series of misfortunes, and succumbed to suspicion. The people of the island cut off all contact with the mainland, and began a slow decline. The key to saving the island lies in three girls who belong to the three families. But they are bound by old traditions, and are conflicted. On that island, a lone man washes ashore. The man claims to be from the future, and he begins a solitary struggle to change the island's fate. Hanebado! -Airs July 1, 2018 (Sun) -Tachibana Kentarou is a high school badminton coach who has a lot more enthusiasm than some of the members of his very small team. One day, he meets the quiet-voiced student Hanesaki Ayano, who is effortlessly physically capable and experienced in badminton. He tries to recruit her, but she seems to have no interest in the sport at all. Due to a series of circumstances, she eventually ends up joining the team. Coach Tachibana is determined that with her on board, they'll be champions! Senjuushi -Airs July 3, 2018 (Tues) -The story takes place at the subsequent era after the whole world was devastated by the nuclear war. Under the strong rule by the World Empire, people are all suppressed and deprived of their own lives. A resistance team secretly keeps fighting to break the suppression while everyone is forbidden to possess any force of arms. The team challenges the fight with the "antique guns" that were left as works of art, and the incarnations of those antique guns are called "Musketeers" appear and join the team, as if they responded to the soul of the team. In their battles with the incarnations of contemporary guns who represent and are dispatched from the Empire, the "Musketeers" turn their "Absolute Noble" mode to give a powerful boost to themselves, and bring hope to the world! Satsuriku no Tenshi -Airs July 5, 2018 (Thurs) -13-year old Rachel awakens to find herself trapped in the basement of an abandoned building. Without any memories, or even a clue as to where she could be, she wanders the building, lost and dizzy. In her search, she comes across a man covered in bandages. He introduces himself as Zack and he wields a grim-reaper like sickle. A strange bond is struck between them, strengthened by strange, crazy promises… These two, trapped in this strange building, don't know why fate has placed them there. But they will work together desperately to find a way out… Shichisei no Subaru -Airs July 5, 2018 (Thur) -In the popular MMORPG world 'Union' there existed a legendary party. It's name was Subaru. This party, made up of a group of childhood friends and elementary schoolers, exceeded the limits of the game with their various senses. However, due to an incident which resulted in a death, 'Union' ended its service and the group of childhood friends went separate ways... 6 years later, highschooler Haruto logged into the new 'Reunion' and reunited with a single girl. Asahi—one of old 'Subaru' party members, and his childhood friend who should have died 6 years ago. Is she a digital ghost, or...? Sunoharasou no Kanrinin-san -Airs July 5, 2018 (Thur) -Shiina Aki is constantly being treated like a girl due to his feminine looks so he decides to move to Tokyo to attend middle school in an attempt to change himself. However what awaits him in his new home, Sunohara-sou, is the kind-hearted caretaker, Sunohara Ayaka. Along with the three female members of Aki's new middle school's student council, Yukimoto Yuzu, Yamanashi Sumire & Kazami Yuri. And so begins Aki's new life in Tokyo living with 4 girls. Yume Oukoku to Nemureru 100 nin No Ouji-sama -Airs July 5, 2018 (Thur) -A series aimed at women with the theme of romance with a prince "that every woman dreams of." The game lets players experience love with 100 princes who live in the Kingdom of Dreams. Players solve puzzles to wake up the princes from their deep slumber. Hataraku Saibou -Airs July 7, 2018 (Sat) -The average human body contains about 60 trillion cells, and each of them has work to do! But when you get injured, viruses or bacteria invade, or when an allergic reaction flares up, everyone from the silent but deadly white blood cells to the brainy neurons has to work together to get through the crisis! Kyoto Teramachi Sanjou no Holmes -Airs July 10, 2018 (Tues) -The "light, antique mystery" series revolves around a "spiteful," handsome Kyoto boy and a high school girl. The story is set at an antique shop in Kyoto's Teramachi Sanjou shopping district. High school girl Aoi Mashiro unexpectedly runs into Kiyotaka Yagashira, the son of the shop's owner, and ends up working part-time at the shop. Kiyotaka is called the "Holmes at Teramachi Sanjou," and he and Aoi solve odd cases brought to them by various clients. Free! Dive to the Future -Airs July 11, 2018 (Wed) - Grand Blue -Airs July 13, 2018 (Fri) -A new life begins for Kitahara Iori as he begins his college career near the ocean in Izu city, full of excitement for his new life. He will be moving into his Uncle's diving store "Grand Blue." There he finds the beautiful ocean, beautiful women, and men that love diving and alcohol. Will Iori be able to live his dream college life? Happy Sugar Life -Airs July 13, 2018 (Fri) -High-schooler Matsuzaka Satou has a reputation for being easy, but one day her lifestyle of sleeping with one boy after another comes to an end. It happens when she meets the child Shio, for whom she is convinced she feels true love for the first time. Satou may seem sweet and innocent, but there is nothing she won't do to protect their life together, including committing murder. But from where did she acquire the little girl, and how long can their "Happy Sugar Life" together last? Lord of Vermillion -Airs July 13, 2018 (Fri) -The anime takes place in Tokyo in 2030. In a suburban area, suddenly a high-frequency resonant sound is heard, and at the same time a red mist shrouds the area. Anyone who hears the sound, be it human or animal, loses consciousness. The government estimates that it might be an unidentified virus, and fearful of an epidemic, blockades Tokyo and moves its base to Osaka. However, six days after the incident, those who lost consciousness from the sound awaken for no apparent reason. Those blockaded in Tokyo slowly start to get the city functioning again, but after that day strange incidents start to occur at the blockade border. Those who have awakened a hidden blood power arise, are drawn to one another, and must face a cruel fate. Read the full article

[rinscafe]

Summer 2018 Anime Lineup

Here are the anime series I recommend for Summer 2018. This is not a complete list. You can view a complete list of anime series at Anichart.net Island -Airs July 1, 2018 (Sun) -Urashima, an island far from the mainland. The people who live there lead carefree lives. But five years ago, the island's three great families suffered a series of misfortunes, and succumbed to suspicion. The people of the island cut off all contact with the mainland, and began a slow decline. The key to saving the island lies in three girls who belong to the three families. But they are bound by old traditions, and are conflicted. On that island, a lone man washes ashore. The man claims to be from the future, and he begins a solitary struggle to change the island's fate. Hanebado! -Airs July 1, 2018 (Sun) -Tachibana Kentarou is a high school badminton coach who has a lot more enthusiasm than some of the members of his very small team. One day, he meets the quiet-voiced student Hanesaki Ayano, who is effortlessly physically capable and experienced in badminton. He tries to recruit her, but she seems to have no interest in the sport at all. Due to a series of circumstances, she eventually ends up joining the team. Coach Tachibana is determined that with her on board, they'll be champions! Senjuushi -Airs July 3, 2018 (Tues) -The story takes place at the subsequent era after the whole world was devastated by the nuclear war. Under the strong rule by the World Empire, people are all suppressed and deprived of their own lives. A resistance team secretly keeps fighting to break the suppression while everyone is forbidden to possess any force of arms. The team challenges the fight with the "antique guns" that were left as works of art, and the incarnations of those antique guns are called "Musketeers" appear and join the team, as if they responded to the soul of the team. In their battles with the incarnations of contemporary guns who represent and are dispatched from the Empire, the "Musketeers" turn their "Absolute Noble" mode to give a powerful boost to themselves, and bring hope to the world! Satsuriku no Tenshi -Airs July 5, 2018 (Thurs) -13-year old Rachel awakens to find herself trapped in the basement of an abandoned building. Without any memories, or even a clue as to where she could be, she wanders the building, lost and dizzy. In her search, she comes across a man covered in bandages. He introduces himself as Zack and he wields a grim-reaper like sickle. A strange bond is struck between them, strengthened by strange, crazy promises… These two, trapped in this strange building, don't know why fate has placed them there. But they will work together desperately to find a way out… Shichisei no Subaru -Airs July 5, 2018 (Thur) -In the popular MMORPG world 'Union' there existed a legendary party. It's name was Subaru. This party, made up of a group of childhood friends and elementary schoolers, exceeded the limits of the game with their various senses. However, due to an incident which resulted in a death, 'Union' ended its service and the group of childhood friends went separate ways... 6 years later, highschooler Haruto logged into the new 'Reunion' and reunited with a single girl. Asahi—one of old 'Subaru' party members, and his childhood friend who should have died 6 years ago. Is she a digital ghost, or...? Sunoharasou no Kanrinin-san -Airs July 5, 2018 (Thur) -Shiina Aki is constantly being treated like a girl due to his feminine looks so he decides to move to Tokyo to attend middle school in an attempt to change himself. However what awaits him in his new home, Sunohara-sou, is the kind-hearted caretaker, Sunohara Ayaka. Along with the three female members of Aki's new middle school's student council, Yukimoto Yuzu, Yamanashi Sumire & Kazami Yuri. And so begins Aki's new life in Tokyo living with 4 girls. Yume Oukoku to Nemureru 100 nin No Ouji-sama -Airs July 5, 2018 (Thur) -A series aimed at women with the theme of romance with a prince "that every woman dreams of." The game lets players experience love with 100 princes who live in the Kingdom of Dreams. Players solve puzzles to wake up the princes from their deep slumber. Hataraku Saibou -Airs July 7, 2018 (Sat) -The average human body contains about 60 trillion cells, and each of them has work to do! But when you get injured, viruses or bacteria invade, or when an allergic reaction flares up, everyone from the silent but deadly white blood cells to the brainy neurons has to work together to get through the crisis! Kyoto Teramachi Sanjou no Holmes -Airs July 10, 2018 (Tues) -The "light, antique mystery" series revolves around a "spiteful," handsome Kyoto boy and a high school girl. The story is set at an antique shop in Kyoto's Teramachi Sanjou shopping district. High school girl Aoi Mashiro unexpectedly runs into Kiyotaka Yagashira, the son of the shop's owner, and ends up working part-time at the shop. Kiyotaka is called the "Holmes at Teramachi Sanjou," and he and Aoi solve odd cases brought to them by various clients. Free! Dive to the Future -Airs July 11, 2018 (Wed) - Grand Blue -Airs July 13, 2018 (Fri) -A new life begins for Kitahara Iori as he begins his college career near the ocean in Izu city, full of excitement for his new life. He will be moving into his Uncle's diving store "Grand Blue." There he finds the beautiful ocean, beautiful women, and men that love diving and alcohol. Will Iori be able to live his dream college life? Happy Sugar Life -Airs July 13, 2018 (Fri) -High-schooler Matsuzaka Satou has a reputation for being easy, but one day her lifestyle of sleeping with one boy after another comes to an end. It happens when she meets the child Shio, for whom she is convinced she feels true love for the first time. Satou may seem sweet and innocent, but there is nothing she won't do to protect their life together, including committing murder. But from where did she acquire the little girl, and how long can their "Happy Sugar Life" together last? Lord of Vermillion -Airs July 13, 2018 (Fri) -The anime takes place in Tokyo in 2030. In a suburban area, suddenly a high-frequency resonant sound is heard, and at the same time a red mist shrouds the area. Anyone who hears the sound, be it human or animal, loses consciousness. The government estimates that it might be an unidentified virus, and fearful of an epidemic, blockades Tokyo and moves its base to Osaka. However, six days after the incident, those who lost consciousness from the sound awaken for no apparent reason. Those blockaded in Tokyo slowly start to get the city functioning again, but after that day strange incidents start to occur at the blockade border. Those who have awakened a hidden blood power arise, are drawn to one another, and must face a cruel fate. Read the full article