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For @zabdielmuch writing challenge. It’s super late but I wanted to write it anyway.

You had been with Zabdiel for almost two years and even though everyone around you said things wouldn’t end well the both of you ignored their pleas for you to just stay friends. Zabdiel wasn’t the kind to settle down and get married. After his parents’ messy divorce he would often say that he wasn’t sure he even believed in marriage. You were the exact opposite, infatuated with the idea of a beautiful white gown and kids, the both of you weren’t a likely pairing. At the start of your relationship, you figured Zabdiel would get over his hatred for all things wedding related or you move on from your future with a white picket fence. The longer you were with Zabdiel the more you wanted that future with him. 

You had been together for six months the first time it had caused a small fight. You were laying in bed watching a romance movie when you looked up at him and said, “I can’t wait to marry you one day.” As soon as the words escaped your mouth you felt the energy in the room shift and you immediately apologised, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” you blushed moving away from his arms. 

Zabdiel wanted to comfort you and tell you that he wasn’t upset and that you hadn’t frightened him like you had thought but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. As much as you needed him to wrap you in his arms, he instead decided to pour himself a drink. He didn’t respond to you and your confession, he just stood up and muttered, “I’ll be back.” You sat anxiously in the next room waiting for his return. He took ten minutes to pour himself a drink of water and you began pacing the floor. As much as your head was telling you to run out to him and talk about what just happened, your legs told you to continue pacing the floor of his apartment. When he walked back in the room, his eyes were hardened and he looked at you almost coldly. Your expression showed how nervous you were but that didn’t stop him from letting the words fly from his lips. “You know I don’t ever want to get married.”

“I-I know.” you looked down ashamed. “I’m sorry.” 

You didn’t remember much about the fight but you remembered the way Zabdiel sighed before walking over and hugging you. He kissed the top of your head soothingly as he rubbed your back. 

“I’m sorry. I know that’s what you want.” You and Zabdiel had been friends for years before you started dating. He knew you had always pictured a wedding for yourself. From your dress to the gift that guests would take home. “I just can’t think about that kind of thing right now.”

You looked up at him smiling, grateful that he was taking you in his arms. “The next time you take that long to pour yourself a drink, I’m going to kill you,” you joked. Zabdiel laughed and you sat back down to watch the movie. 

The next time it became an issue, it was because of Zabdiel. You had been invited to his cousin’s wedding and you were excited to say the least. You had known his cousin for a little while and you loved weddings. You dressed up, looked amazing and felt great. Well you did until you sat down at the church. Zabdiel had a hand on your knee and every few minutes he would crack a joke at the expense of the couple. When the bride walked down the aisle, you felt tears springing in your eyes until Zabdiel began humming the Jaws theme song in your ear. You rolled your eyes, giggling at first but as the day went on the jokes hit you harder and harder. 

You were sitting down about to dig into your dessert when his aunty asked Zabdiel when he was going to ‘pop the question’. You knew the question would trigger Zabdiel but you hadn’t expected him to be so rude. 

“Oh gosh,” he turned to you almost aggressively, “did you pay her to ask me?” Everyone at the table watched the interaction cautiously. Your eyes turned dark and hard. You had never once pressured Zabdiel into proposing so you weren’t sure why he even bothered to ask the question. His aunty quickly jumped at your defence, “I was just asking,” she laughed trying to ease the tension but as soon as Zabdiel’s eyes left yours, you stood up quickly excusing yourself for some air. Zabdiel rolled his eyes following after you. You were practically running while he calmly followed you outside. “What’s wrong?” he asked once no one else was around. You whipped around to him, a few tears escaping your face as you patted them gently careful not to ruin your makeup.

“What’s wrong?” you retorted. “What’s wrong?” you asked again. “You just humiliated me in front of everyone. I was so excited to be here and you’ve done nothing but mock this wedding the whole day. I let it slide. Every. Single. Time.” you spoke helplessly. “But then you turned to me like I’ve been asking for a ring for months and almost scolded me like a child because somebody else asked when you were proposing to me. I’ve tried to let all of it go. The ideas and fantasies about getting married but you don’t need to throw it in my face like that Zab.”

Zabdiel wanted to speak but he was careful to make sure you had finished your speech first. Once he was positive you were done, he guided you against the wall of the venue, his hands on either side of your head and he leaned down to kiss you passionately. Neither of you were touching each other but your lips were moving rushed and in perfect unison. He knew that kissing you would calm you down so when he pulled away and carefully wiped away your tears he began speaking. 

“You’re right.” he nodded, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’ve just been a bit overwhelmed today. I was nervous.” he admitted, “I was nervous that today would set you off and so I’ve been trying to-to…” he couldn’t figure out what he was trying to do but you already knew. 

“You were trying to make sure I knew where you stood on it all.” you spoke sadly. His eyes looked down at yours and he could see how much this was hurting you. He didn’t want to say it but he couldn’t help but think, ‘maybe everyone was right. Maybe you would have been better as friends.’ Before he could even think of saying it you did. 

“Maybe we’re just in over our heads.” 

As soon as he heard the words, he knew that this wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to be apart from you. So he quickly moved to kiss you again, this time his hands cupped your cheeks. 

“I love you. I’ve never said that before but I love you.” The words had surprised you. Not only had he never told you he loved you but you knew he had never told any girl he had loved them. “Not just love but I’m in love with you.” his words were almost rushed and you weren’t sure how to respond at first but you knew how you felt.

“I love you too.” you smiled. 

In that moment you had thought that was all you would need. His love. But as another year passed you found yourself often wishing that Zabdiel had the same adoration for marriage and weddings as you did. You were sitting on the couch watching another reality show when one of the contestants proposed to another. Your eyes teared up and within a few moments you were sobbing on your couch. Zabdiel wasn’t home so you let yourself have some time to mourn the wedding you had always wanted but your crying was so loud that you hadn’t realised when he walked in the door. He heard you and ran into the living room afriad for what he would see. When he looked at the TV and saw a wedding unfold, he had thought you were just emotional about the wedding so he made a joking comment.

“You’re really sensitive huh?” His voice had surprised you and you quickly turned the TV off. He had expected your tears to stop but when he saw your bloodshot eyes he knew what this was about. It had been almost a whole year since his cousin’s wedding and neither of you had spoken about marriage since. He had thought you had moved on but you were just pushing your feelings deeper and deeper. This was a year of pent up emotions. “Mi amor,” he spoke sadly. He wanted to hug you but he could feel how distant you were from him in his moment. The last thing you wanted was for him to hold you and tell you it was going to be ok because it wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t. You wanted to marry him and he never wanted to hear that word again in his life. 

“I just can’t Zabdiel. Not anymore.” you calmed yourself down, wiping the tears away before moving into your bedroom. You took a small suitcase from under your bed, wiping away some dust before you started packing your belongings. Zabdiel walked into the room a few moments later.

“Baby,” he started but when his eyes saw you packing your bags he froze in his spot. His eyes looked from your bag to the open dresser and up to you. “W-what are you doing?” he asked. 

“I told you,” you muttered looking down. “I can’t do this anymore.” your tears were threatening to spill again but you couldn’t take it. You couldn’t let yourself cry for another minute. 

“So you’re just going to leave?” he asked, disappointment and anger lacing his tone. 

You sighed, stopping in your tracks. “We keep doing this back and forth. I love you. I really do but I’m not ever going to be fulfilled without marrying you and I know it sounds stupid but it’s what I want. I want to get married and if you can’t do that for me then-”

“Then what?” he spat out, “you’re just going to go find someone else? I’m so easily replaced.” he scoffed, rolling his eyes. “That’s why I don’t want to get married. People are replaceable and if you can walk away this easily we shouldn’t be thinking about marriage. Don’t you get that?”

His words hit you in the chest and you took a step back from the blow of them. 

“You are not replaceable. I will never feel for anyone how I feel for you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you but if you can’t understand that part of that involves getting married then I can’t be with you. Getting married isn’t about just love. It’s making sure that whatever problems we have, we decide to work through them and not just break up.”

“That’s what you’re doing though! You’re leaving me instead of working through this problem.” 

“Zabdiel!” you shouted. “I’ve tried to work through this for so long! It’s really hard to work through a problem alone. You’ve never tried to meet me halfway. You’ve only ever expected me to change my mind.”

He didn’t respond. He couldn’t. He knew you were right. He wasn’t sure if it was his pride or his disinterest in marriage but whatever it was, it drove him out of the room. He picked up his keys and he walked out. It was the last time you had ever seen Zabdiel. You had sent your friends to pick up the rest of your things and he never tried to contact you once you had permanently moved out. That’s why it was a surprise when you were stood in a beautiful white dress, the one you had always pictured in front of a man that wasn’t Zabdiel when he stood up from the crowd at your wedding muttering ‘I object’. He spoke softly enough that people couldn’t tell where it was coming from, their heads bouncing around the church but he was loud enough that you knew exactly who it was.


tag list x

@rosebud213 @sapdfrpimentel @stellastyless @cncos-baby @joelpimenteljs @lostinzabdielito @h-bea92 @marinohr @chrissycallejo @ericksmamita @mind-of-tavia @stressedkitkatttt @prettyboypimentel @la-undercover-latina @stripzabdiel

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You work with the boys. You and Zabdiel are into each other but you try to stay away because he is a ladies man.

You think back to your first session with the boys, you are the assistant to their choreographer - Fiore. As you watched on to the boys learning their routine, you began filming. Moving the camera in towards Zabdiel’s face and pulling away quickly to trail up Erick’s leg. Letting the camera land on his face as his verse starts. The boys hadn’t expected to see a young girl walk into their rehearsal but as soon as you did, their eyes lit up excited. That’s why it was no surprise to anyone when they winked at the camera or when Chris subtly touched your shoulder as he walked behind you to reach his mark on the dance floor. You just assumed the winks and looks they gave the camera were for the benefit of fans when the video was released. You hadn’t realised they were flirting or attracted to you until the choreographer gave everyone a quick break.

You rushed to the choreographer’s side making sure to make a good impression on your first day. Everyone else was dancing but you didn’t need a break, just as he went to tell you to set up the stage for the next set of choreography Chris interrupted. 

“Papa, leave her alone. We’re taking five no?” your heads bounced over to Chris as he walked over. Two bottles of water in a single hand, he slung an arm over your shoulders defensively. “Just give her a few minutes. We haven’t even had the chance to introduce ourselves.” Chris was speaking to Fiore but staring down at you as he spoke. 

“I’m fine.” you smiled politely. 

Fiore rolled his eyes smirking, “I’m sure you will make sure you have the chance to introduce yourselves.”

“No better time than the present.” Richard appeared on your other side smiling at you as he leaned over to kiss your cheek.

You felt your face heat up as the rest of the boys crowded around you. You pulled away shyly and excused yourself to follow Fiore’s orders. As you set up the staging you saw Zabdiel staring at you as you bent over. 

“You okay?” you asked, confused standing up straight.

Zabdiel just smiles, his teeth showing as he looks you up and down quickly. It wasn’t creepy but you still felt unsure under his gaze. He moved closer to you while the other boys quickly moved their attention to running through a few steps before they moved on to the next set of moves. 

“You are very beautiful, you know?” his thick accent made the entire sentence endearing but you could feel his smooth attitude. 

You knew from that point on that Zabdiel was more of a ladies man than you had initially thought. You had done your research before you went to rehearsal. You had watched a few of their interviews and read some tweets but all you were able to understand was that Chris was a flirt, Richard was a father, Erick was the youngest, Joel had an attitude and Zabdiel’s love language was quality time.

“Thank you.” you responded as you placed the final mark on the ground. 

That was the start of Zabdiel’s infatuation with you and it only worsened as time went on. Within a few weeks the rest of the boys’ flirting diminished as Zabdiel claimed you as his quickly. You weren’t sleeping together or even entertaining the idea but the boys understood Zabdiel was interested and that was enough to keep them at bay. It made your life a little bit easier. In the first two weeks all five of the boys couldn’t help but try and hit on you. It made doing your job just a little bit harder. 

You grew closer to the boys, being invited to birthday parties, games nights and celebration dinners. They had begged you to go clubbing with them multiple times but you knew as soon as you would go with them, you would lose the self control you had. It took everything you had in you to reject Zabdiel’s advances at every birthday party and suggestive text message. 

Somehow after a few months of knowing the boys Richard and Zabdiel convinced you to go clubbing with them one night. As you walked past the line making your way straight to the door with the five boys close to your side you felt powerful. Zabdiel had a hand on the small of your back leading you into the club. The rest of the boys were watching you, keeping an eye out and you felt protected. 

Richard leans over to speak into your ear, “If you need anything, let us know.”

“Seriously,” Chris interjects, “a drink, food, a dance partner!”

You roll your eyes, “where are you going to get me food in a club?” you laugh. 

“If you want it, we’ll find it.” Erick jokes. 

A lady in a tight dress shows you to a booth. You see the alcohol littered across the small table amongst couches and past red rope. You felt exclusive but turned red as people in the club looked at you all. Instantly, Chris started pouring drinks for everyone passing you one first. As the night went on you laughed with Chris as you watched Erick try his best to hit on any girl that walked past. Very quickly he found one who was interested enough that she moved past the red rope and began dancing with him. Richard had spent the entire time mingling on the dance floor almost starting a dance battle with every guy that danced near him. Joel and Zabdiel were busy drinking while you sat with Chris.

“So Zabdiel,” Chris smirked.

“Zabdiel?”

“Yeah. He’s been staring at you all night.”

You turned your attention and saw Zabdiel quickly look away embarrassed. You could hear Chris laughing at Zabdiel’s reaction. He was a ladies man, you were surprised he was blushing just because you caught him looking at you. 

“He’s just interested in the challenge.” you shrugged. 

“I’m not so sure.” Chris commented pouring you another drink.

You looked back to Zabdiel, seeing Joel push the back of his shoulder as he walked towards you. He shoved Joe’s hand away frustrated as he came closer. You smiled at him. While you were positive you shouldn’t get yourself caught up with any of the boys, you couldn’t help but want to get caught up in Zabdiel. He was exactly your type. You knew that before you met them and that’s why it made it so much more difficult to reject his advances. As the alcohol coursed through your veins, you weren’t exactly sure that you could hold yourself back. Not the way you had been in the few weeks prior. 

Zabdiel stood over you with a simple order, “Dance with me.” 

Chris wandered his way away from the two of you and over to Richard. The two of them danced together laughing as you stood up. You looked up at Zabdiel as he so obviously checked you out. He didn’t realise it but it just made you want to pull away from him. Only a real player would be so open about their wandering gaze.

“Just dance?” you asked curiously.

“For now.” he smirked. 

You laughed at his honesty as he held his hand out for you. You looked down at his hand knowing that in this moment, taking his hand would lead to so much more. It would take more courage than you had to reject his hand so you delicately placed your hand in his. You knew that the alcohol was giving you more courage pulling your inhibitions from your body. You craved Zabdiel’s attention more than you knew at the time. 

Zabdiel turned, holding your hands at his shoulder as you trailed behind him. Zabdiel led you to the middle of the dance floor, a fair distance away from the boys. You weren’t sure at the time if it was intentional but looking back you wouldn’t have grinded your body against his as intensely if you thought the boys were watching. His hands fell to your hips and he moved softly against you. Turning your back to him you pushed against him holding on his hands as they trailed along your body. 

As the night went on you felt yourself wanting him more and more. Your hands entwined around his neck as your faces were almost pressed against each other. Your words flew out of your mouth before you could stop them and you made the mistake of desperately whispering in his ear, “you have no idea how much I want you right now.” Zabdiel moaned out in response and he leaned down to kiss you but you had pulled away. He looked at you confused and you looked around catching Richard’s eyes. Zabdiel rolled his eyes. He knew that the presence of the four other boys was affecting your decisions.  “We work together, Zab. This is a bad idea.”

Zabdiel took your hand leading you to the boys who were now sitting in the booth. The boys were doing shots and when they saw you approaching the grabbed two more for the two of you. Chris passed you both a shot and you threw it back without another word. Zabdiel’s hand was still in yours and you pulled away from him. You had no intention of letting the boys mock you both for whatever was going on between you and have it affect your work life. 

Before you could take a seat next to Richard, Zabdiel threw his arm over your shoulder holding you close to his side, “we’re going to head home.”

“What are you doing?” you asked, turning your head up to him.

“We’re going home. Away from them.” he mumbled. 

The boys acted casually, kissing you goodbye as Zabdiel led you out of the club. You had been frustrated at the time but as you walked into his apartment you were calm. He had made no advances throughout the entire car ride even though his hand was placed lightly on your knee. As you sat on his couch he ordered food for the two of you on his phone.

The entire night was spent sitting on a couch with Zabdiel talking about things you had never told anyone. Your deepest secrets, desires and goals. He listened intently and even when you both yawned you decided to stay up and continue talking. It wasn’t until seven in the morning that you decided to sleep. You stood up walking towards the door as you brought up the uber app on your phone.

“Where are you going?” Zabdiel mumbled turning away from his bedroom.

“Home. To sleep.” 

“No. No.” he walked over to you taking your hand and leading you to his bedroom, “You’re not taking an uber alone when you’re tired. Stay with me.”

You and Zabdiel spent the entire day in bed together sleeping. As it reached later in the night you decided you should go home so he drove you to your apartment. As he walked you up the stairs you remembered the feeling of nervousness that overwhelmed you. It was the same for him. He wanted to push you against the wall in the staircase and kiss you so passionately that you crumbled at his feet. He held back waiting to reach the front door of your apartment. 

“Thank you for last night.” you smiled as you unlocked the door. “For today too.” you blushed at the interactions you shared throughout the day. The soft touches as you made lunch together, the smirking whenever he made flirtatious comments and the way he looked into your eyes so intently. 

Zabdiel decided the best way to respond was with actions. So took your face in his hands desperately and leaned forward pressing his lips against yours. Initially you did your best to fight him but you knew that all you wanted was to kiss him as passionately as he kissed you. So instead you allowed your lips to move in sync. You pulled on his shirt dragging him into your apartment. His large hands wandered around your body before finally settling on your ass as he pressed you against the wall. 

“You’re always on my mind.” he mumbled against your lips.

You pulled away, your palms caressing his face. “I can’t get into this with you Zabdiel. I’m not the kind of girl who just hooks up with a guy. If we take this any further I will develop feelings and I know you won’t.” you spoke sadly but you pushed him away slightly.

Your eyes looked away from him, afraid to look into his eyes. Zabdiel looks at you surprised. He hadn’t expected your words to affect him but they did. They hit his heart like a dart being thrown at a board. Without another word he walked out of your apartment obeying your wishes.

If everything had ended there, you both could have pretended that real feelings hadn’t yet been developed but unfortunately that wasn’t the case. A few days after your encounter you were nervous to go into work. As you walked in with a cap on your head to hide your face, you gauged how he was reacting but he was totally normal. Of course he was - you had thought. He was a ladies man and ladies men can detach from women as quickly as they attach to them.

As the months went on, you and Zabdiel became closer and closer. You often referred to each other as friends but as time went on and your friendship grew so did your feelings for each other. Zabdiel hadn’t cared about anyone like this in years and never as strongly as he cared about you. During one of the later nights in the rehearsal studio, everyone else left while you stayed back to clean up. 

“You’re staying back?” Zabdiel had questioned.

“Just another ten minutes or so.” you shrugged cleaning the floors. 

“I’ll wait for you.” You nodded appreciating his kindness as he grabbed a broom to clean up with you. “I need to be honest with you.” he spoke as you looked down at the floor. Your head bounced up waiting for him to continue. “I know we’ve only kissed once,” he moved closer to you and you chose to lean against the wall behind you. His hand rested on the wall next to your head, “but over the last few months of getting to know you I’ve realised something.”

“O-okay.” you uttered out.

“I love you. I want to be with you. Somehow I feel like I’ve lost you.” he looks down at your lips biting his own.

Stunned by his confession, you’re unsure how to respond and awkwardly you speak out, “You haven’t lost me.” 

“We’re friends. I don’t want to be your friend!” he grunts.

Caressing his face like you did when you kissed him you sighed. 

“What do you want from me?”

“I want to be with you.” his nose nudged yours as he held back from kissing you.

“W-we can’t.”

“Why not?” he growled pushing against the wall and turning his back to you as his hand covered his mouth scratching his cheek. 

“Zabdiel, this is my job! If things end badly then you can keep this job, that’s not how this works for me.”

He turned around surprised, “I would never make you lose your job!”

“That’s what you’re saying now.”

“Is that really what you think of me?”

“Zabdiel,” you sigh, running your hands through your hair. “This is just as hard for me.”

Zabdiel laughed angrily before he grabbed his bag walking out of the studio. At the time, you had thought he left but Chris revealed that he waited downstairs making sure you made it to your car safely. Your heart swelled in response to Chris’ information but you knew you made the right choice.

A few weeks later, you had decided you would invite all the boys over for a movie night but you hadn’t expected them to secretly plan for it to be just you and Zabdiel. He walked in with flowers after all the boys texted you that they weren’t coming. Each of them had different excuses and you were sad at first but when Zabdiel walked in the door you instantly smiled. He handed you the flowers smiling but you could sense his nervousness as he sat on your couch. 

“We should talk.” he mumbled as you passed him a bowl of popcorn.

He took the bowl but you could see him shaking slightly. Curiously you tilted your head sitting next him as you took a sip of your wine.

“Why are you shaking?” you asked confused. 

“I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.” he looked into your eyes, a hand on your knee. 

“Zabdiel, please stop.” you sighed, “you’re throwing these words around but you don’t realise I actually love you. I am holding back from all of this because you aren’t the relationship type! You told me that.”

“After everything we’ve been through,” he sighs as the memories flood his head. “You still don’t think that I love you?”

“I think you love the chase.” you speak truthfully. You weren’t sure if he loved the chase or you. Sure you loved him but it was different for you. Zabdiel revealed quickly that he wasn’t the kind to look for a relationship so his confession had shocked you. Zabdiel looked away as tears slowly brimmed along his eyes. You were surprised by his emotions realising that maybe he cared for you more than he thought. Tears quickly began to flow and he wiped them away trying to hide them. Sadly, you leaned forward, “please don’t cry.”

“Just don’t,” he mumbled, turning his back to you trying to hold back from you. “How can I prove to you that I love you?” he asked desperately. 

His tears and his desperation for you to realise how much he loved you melted your heart. Almost like it hit you at once you realised how much he did care for you. All the times he had waited around for you so you weren’t alone or when he would bring you coffee every time he knew you had an earlier morning than the rest of them. 

Fondly, you remembered a time when he arrived at rehearsal and saw how tired you looked.

“What time did you wake up?” he asked.

“Five.” you mumbled.

“I’ll get you coffee.” he turned, walking back out as you called after him.

“Rehearsal starts in five minutes!” you laughed.

“Everyone can wait.”

Your heart soared at his kindness, taking a finger along his jaw you directed his face back to you.

“I think you just did.” you smiled before you leaned forward to kiss him softly. He smiled as he kissed you. His heart started beating faster and faster as your lips moved together. You pulled away. You realised you should talk a little bit more about your relationship before you continued. “I have rules.” you blushed.

“Rules?”

“We can’t tell anyone. At least not for now. I need to be sure about all of this Zabdiel.”

“You don’t trust me?”

You sighed, “I’m just scared.”

Zabdiel grabbed your leg pulling you on top of him, “let me prove to you you don’t need to be scared.” he smiled.

His hand held your neck and he pulled you forward kissing you again.

Taglist

@rosebud213​​​ @sapdfrpimentel​​​ @stellastyless​​​ @joelitos-baby​​​​ @joelpimenteljs​​​ @lostinzabdielito​​​ @h-bea92​​​ @marinohr​​​ @chrissycallejo​​​ @ericksmamita​​​ @mind-of-tavia​​​ @stressedkitkatttt​​​ @prettyboypimentel​​​ @la-undercover-latina​​ @stripzabdiel​​

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CNCO as quotes from my snap stories:
Christopher: man, I wish our campus had battles
Zabdiel: isn't beyonce's last album like pineapple juice or something?
Erick: I feel like all vegans have a weird thing about cannibalism
Richard: do you ever fantasize about getting murdered?
Joel: you're not a failure, you know lgbt
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