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winter-spark · 9 days

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Citron's Love and Limited Self Value Disguised as Coldness & Selfishness!

Okay! So, I said I had thoughts back in December about Citron's coldness & 'selfishness' so let me actually share them now. (I was starting to doubt doing this but one of my mutuals said I should share my thoughts on a3! things and that they'd like to hear them, and this is one I really wanted to share so here I go!)

Intro/Too long; didn't read:

There are three things that I feel are true about Citron:

He loves and values everyone so much.

For the longest time, he saw himself as a title

These things combined into him making decisions that on the surface come off as cold and or selfish but underneath are dripping in love and care.

Table of contents

Paragraphs 1 -3: Fleeing Zafra Paragraphs 4 -6: Joining & Leaving Mankai Paragraphs 7-9: Leaving Guy & Lies Paragraphs 10-14: Citron vs Tangerine and their Dad Paragraphs 15-16: Good now right? Paragraphs 17-22: Tangerine in Citron's Past Role Paragraphs 23-24: Conclusion

Let's begin with the reason he even fled Zafra in the first place. Citron was being targetted, by those who thought his brothers were better fit to rule than he. And he was aware of this being the reason strange things were happening. At least, seeing as Guy had the suspicion/knew, I don't see why Citron wouldn't have.

Instead of voicing what was going on or raising any suspicions, he just left. He couldn't let them win win because his only value is his role, he's the Crown Prince. It's all he is. But he loves his people and he loves his brothers. He's not going to cause them any problems. They want him gone. Alright, he'll leave, silently without a word to anyone. Is it selfish to leave those who care deeply about you with a word? Well, some people might say, "obviously" but Citron loves so much and refuses to stop existing in the only way he knows, so he couldn't say a word.

What was he supposed to do? Say goodbye to Tangerine and cause him to worry and rouse suspicion on others? Tangerine is very headstrong, he would've wanted to get to the bottom of it(pin on that). Similar thing with Guy, if Citron told him he wanted to leave, Guy likely would have suggested that he say something, if Guy didn't just follow him. He can't really go undercover with Guy around, and maybe he wanted Guy to have a break from being at his beck and call(more on that later). If he announced anything of this to his father, his father would have gotten to the bottom of it. Citron selfishly chose to leave, without a word. But when you think about his motives he wasn't just being selfish, he was trying to protect people because he cares so much.

Then he gets to Japan and ends up finding a struggling theater that just needs a few more hands. He's not gonna stay for long. He can't stay forever. But what's the harm in lending a hand? Afterall, he's always loved the arts.

But then something strange happens. He acts completely different than who he is, completely different than whats expected of him. And they value him anyway. It's beyond just needing another person for the play. They care about him as a person. It's not yet addressed not fully, not really but it's there. And he cares about them. So he pours his heart into them but keeps a distance as best he can, he can't stay he knows this. They can't learn more, they can't care more, they can't be sad about his departure.

Of course, they were gonna be, and of course, Guy was gonna find him. He knew his time was coming to a close when Tsuzuru brought that souvenir. So when Guy arrived, it wasn't the time to dwell on it. On his desires, on his wants. He wasn't allowed to have those. He's the Crown Prince. He must go ascend to the throne lest Orange do. As is his role. As is who he is. As is what he's good for. It's what he's meant to do. He didn't want to leave but he has to and it's going to be sad and hurt. And he loves Mankai, Spring Troupe so much, he doesn't want them to be too sad about his departure. So he creates a list of tasks--a distraction--one for each of them, he can't pretend he's not leaving but he can make it fun and silly for them. Itaru pays for a buffet, Tsuzuru joins him in Manzai, Masumi lets him have some time with Izumi. They're small things to prepare for the goodbye but they can't have an actual goodbye, it'd be too sad. So he gives Sakuya the task of performing with Mankai, something he never plans to do but is something nice for Sakuya to look forward to he doesn't realize the hope he's planting, the hint he's leaving of his own desires, but he does. I believe it's called a Freudian Slip. And that's what he does by putting Sakuya last, with Chikage's Vanishing Citron act before it.

But! Before we move on we can't leave out his love for Guy. Leaving Mankai, Spring Troupe without a real goodbye is harsh, it's selfish, it's unfair, they weren't ready, he left too fast. It was sudden, no one really got any sort of closure. But leaving Guy behind(again) and telling the people of Zafra that Guy held him hostage against his will in Japan, that's cold, that's vicious, that's confusing. That's Citron's love.

When Citron was a little tiny child, he looked at that messed up soldier in training and decided that was his person. And overtime found out just how messed up he was, and Citron wanted to help. He wanted to prove to Guy he wasn't an android, wanted to get him in touch with his emotions to some extent, wanted to get him to be able to do things for himself. Here's where we continue on the "more on that later" point, Citron understands how much Guy has devoted himself to Citron and Citron specifically, and he wanted Guy to be able to be his own person, to have a freedom Citron couldn't have. I like to believe part of the reason he didn't take Guy along with him in the first place was to sort of start that divide, to let him exist on his own, as his own person. We know that goes into him leaving him in Japan with 0 way to return to Zafra. Citron wanted so much for Guy to find his own personhood, and connect with himself, his roots, and he knew Mankai was a great source of support for Guy, because Citron vetted them. Citron loved Guy so much he'd rather be without him than let Guy continue without his own sense of self, his own purpose. His freedom was ending but he wanted to gift Guy with it.

Was it one of the ugliest ways to do it? Oh absolutely, but Citron's quick and analytical. He knew if he just said he intended on leaving without Guy, Guy would have probably followed anyway. So he asked himself how can he ensure Guy's not going to follow him and has a way to remember his past, so he leaves Guy's charm with Izumi and he returns home lying that Guy was at fault for his absence. Guy can't come in, and even though Guy's been cast out of Zafra, Citron can see this as reassurance, he knows Guy is somewhere nice and he knows, in theory, Guy's not coming back to Zafra. Did Citron really never want to see Guy again? Of course not! Like Mankai, Citron loves Guy a lot, but Citron doesn't want to doom people to sorrowful fates.

Take his brothers for example. If Tangerine hadn't been apart of the rescue plot whatsoever, Citron would have done his best to still not rat out Orange and Navel. Citron been knew they wanted him out of the picture. He knew. But he doesn't want them to have to suffer. Even if they were never close like he'd have liked, even if they hated him, even if they were trying to steal the one thing he was allowed to exist as, even if they were trying to kill him. Citron loved his brothers and valued their well-being. He didn't want them to be in trouble surely not behind him and he would've kept that secret to his grave because of that.

But things can't always go how you want them or to your plan. Tangerine (unpinning that earlier point), is very headstrong and he sees things a little more equally. His brothers are all people, and two of them were apart of a plot to kidnap and murder his other brother. He was supposed to keep quiet about that? Lots of people were nearly injured in the event. Of course, he was going to tell his father what happened. Brothers or not that wasn't okay.

And the King, very much like Tangerine, sees things more equally. The King like Citron has a role he must fulfill but he doesn't seem to have the same problem as Citron where it's all he sees in himself(I think, he's seemed to spend very little time with his kids as they grew up so that up for debate), he loves but he can put that aside and think about what's fair for all parties.

It's not fair, for Orange and Navel to simply just be scolded because they are his sons, this was a serious offense, he must treat it as such. It's not fair, for Citron to lie to the people, to lie on his retainer who has done nothing wrong. There are many things to consider. Is him allowing Citron to be an ambassador(was that the word? Idr) of the arts being a little soft on him? Honestly, I don't know, maybe, but he loves his son and he understands that he must have been struggling and in fear of running away because he was being plotted against, not saying anything because he has a big heart. And he just nearly died. He can't let someone so willing to lie over being upfront and stopping issues early on because of feelings be the next in charge, but he knows Citron is very capable and he sees the warmth of Spring Troupe, Mankai with Citron. He understands that where the Palace lacked for Citron, Mankai picked up for it. Citron had a home away from home but also wanted to serve his country. The King, his father, didn't really want to take either away from him. So he gave him a new role, a way he can have both. [How did this become a meta about his dad? lol] This scene, Citron goes through likely a lot of emotions.

Being stripped of his role, the one thing he's lived for, his one purpose in life, the thing he's fought for jeopardizing his relationship with his brothers, his sense of value. That mess is heartwrenching, it's scary. He just failed to protect his brothers from punishment and he lost the one thing he refused to ever actually give up. Now what?

Now, his father gives him a gift. A gift truly of freedom, decorated in a nice bow of still being valuable to his country but also showing him that his value wasn't just his title. He didn't have to be Crown Prince to be worth something. Could he have left the title sooner? Who can say? But right now, his father is basically saying "I love you and I value your happiness" and what more could Citron really ask for? Things are starting to look up for Citron, Guy was able to start healing from his past, Citron gets to return to Mankai and exist and have value and above all be loved. Everything is great.

Except then there's Tangerine.

Many of Citron's problems growing up were tied to him being the Crown Prince, it's restricting, it expects a lot of you, and it's a sad existence. That's how Citron views the title of Crown Prince, even if subconsciously, it's a bad thing to be thrown upon someone. It's something that destroys your sense of worth. How could Citron do that to someone he loves so dearly? He ran off, to be happy, to have a sense of worth outside of the title of Crown Prince, he left his precious little brother for dead, and what kind of person is he to do that? His suspicions "confirmed", when Tangerine shows up unannounced after running away from home.

Citron is so used to seeing himself as "the Crown Prince" he doesn't even consider that Tangerine just missed his brother, or wanted to ask for some sort of comfort or advice or anything like that. Because Citron was the former Crown Prince and Tangerine is the current one. That's where is mind is at. Citron is reliving all those years mentally and worrying that Tangerine is living like he was. Why else would Tangerine run away and come see Citron, who was once in his position? So his love for Tangerine and his pain from only seeing himself as a title combine into guilt, and that guilt turns him cold.

He can't rub salt in Tangerine's wounds by showing how happy he is without the burdens of the crown staring him down. He can't flaunt his freedom. He can't bare seeing Tangerine suffer the way he did. So he frowns and he gets serious. There are expectations of the Crown Prince, too. And Citron has those embedded into his very being. And he tries to somewhat of what you'd expect someone to be after having prepared for a role for years to someone now in their role. And he tries to get Tangerine to go back as quickly as possible. And it's selfish to send someone away because of your own feelings and not what they've done but it's also so complicated for Citron.

He's not mad at Tangerine, he's sad for him and mad at himself and every second Tangerine's there is a reminder of all of that and a show of Citron being a bad influence probably. Citron's used to falling in line and fulfilling duties so as he becomes somewhat of what you'd expect of a serious mentor, it makes sense that he's falling back into that mentally, the proving oneself to the right/expected thing to do. A good older brother/mentor wouldn't let his brother who needs to be preparing for a big event miss practice and possibly the event. A good older brother doesn't brag about how good he has it now that the younger one has it worse.

Of course, thanks to Masumi's patience with Tangerine and Spring Troupe's patience with Citron, he was able to turn his love warm again. But it was a bit rough getting there. Like the other events before.

Honestly, there's so much more that can be focused on about Citron and a part of me wants to go on a tangent about the little slips he has like the wish he'd given Sakuya and how his emotions slip through in other ways like how he got kidnapped and stuff like that. But I should probably reread things again before/if I do that. The important part here is just that I'm so fascinated by how Citron is just so full of love but for so long lack a full sense of self outside of the Crown, (not to say he didn't have interests and desires but more in the sense that nothing he had interest in or desired fully mattered in the long run because it was insignificant to the role he was meant to play, in case I haven't made that clear) and how those things combine into actions that are cold and or selfish but also so layered and so full of care.

Citron is so !!! my heart! Idk how to put it quite into words but I haven't really seen people like full-on analyze him really (outside of some analyzing in fanfictions really funnily enough) and I wanted to just give him a bit of focus. Honestly, it was long over due with how much I talk about his brothers. I didn't even say everything I thought but that's okay. Just means more opportunity for me to talk about him again later.

#a3!#act addict actors #Citron a3 #<- me using real tags. whoa!#long post #Citron & his brothers #The Zafran Princes #I want this to appear when people are looking at my posts about the others even though I brush over Orange and Navel in this post #(See I told you Citron was my favorite)#also I hope this doesn't get less strong as it goes on #and that none of the points fall flat #I often like to pull direct examples and evidence but I didn't for this one #but it's got me thinking I should totally try again to write that ship essay

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garadinervi · 7 months

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Jannis Kounellis walking in the streets of Napoli, 1996 [Walker Art Center, Minneapolis, MN. Image Courtesy The Estate of Jannis Kounellis. Photo: Michelle Coudray]

Catalogue: Jannis Kounellis in Six Acts, Walker Art Center, Minneapolis, MN, 2022. Edited with text by Vincenzo de Bellis. Foreword by Mary Ceruti. Texts by Michelle Coudray, Claire Gilman, Kit Hammonds, William Hernández Luege, Jannis Kounellis, and Ara H. Merjian. Designed by Ben Schwartz [Design Director: Emmet Byrne]

→ #jannis kounellis in six acts

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specs-tacularmen · 9 months

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With a name like mine, you gotta be super, or you’re doomed to be a geek!

#shazwan zafran #specs and muscle #specs and pecs #asian specs #specs and abs #asian muscle worship #specs and biceps #м'язи

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kashmirisaffron · 4 months

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In this post, we’ll be sharing a delicious and nutritious recipe for fragrant saffron rice (Zafran Rice), a staple in Persian cuisine.

#Saffron Rice #Cook Saffron Rice #Benefits of Saffron Rice #delicious saffron rice #Zafran Rice #saffron rice recipe

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sage-shipping · 8 months

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the new Guy card. crying in the club. hes so handsome

#ship: 🌿 for our journey #thank u liber for more Guy in zafran clothes content

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electronicparadisewolf · 1 year

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#Elite Aroma Kashmiri Saffron SHRILALMAHAL GROUP #Elite Aroma #Kashmiri Saffron #Rs. 290.00 #Pure #Naturally and Organically grown. No Preservatives #No Flavour/Aroma/Colour Enhancers #No Additives #No Artificial Non-GMO #Vegan.#Specially Sourced Saffron/Kesar/Zafran from Pampore #Kashmir. Pampore is a small town in Kashmir famous for producing the best quality Saffron all across the world. Our Saffron is especially g #Adds amazing Flavour to any food dish #especially Biryanis.#Easy and Fast Infusion: Drop couple threads in water and wait 45 minutes for a perfect infusion.#Sato-Dried: Natural Proprietary method to ensure more threads per gram and maintain freshness #READ MORE...Buy Basmati Rice Online Black Rice Brown Basmati Rice Online India SHRILALMAHAL GROUP #Naturally and Organically grown #Pampore is a small town in Kashmir #best quality Saffron all across the world

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improperties · 2 years

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#karak tea #best tea shop #best tea #karak chai #karak zafran chai

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abandonedart · 18 days

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The Zafran Cold Remedy [SR]

something i've been working on yay

#guy a3 #guy #a3!#act! addict! actors!#izumi tachibana #director #y/n #protagonist #backstage story

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the-himawari · 8 months

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A3! Citron - Translation [SSR] Curtain Among Cherry Blossoms (2/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

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Tangerine: Quickly, sideways…

*hit, hit, hit*

Kumon: Great job, Prince Tangerine!

Tangerine: This is the last one!

*hits*

Taichi: I can’t believe he cleared it perfectly on his first crack at daruma otoshi. That’s amazing!

Tangerine: That was so fun! I’m going to do it one more time.

Kumon: It looks like Prince Tangerine is really into daruma otoshi!

Taichi: Yep. I’m glad he’s having a blast with it~.

Tangerine: Alright, one more time!

*hit, hit, hit*

Tangerine: Wow! How fun~!

Kumon: Woah, woah, woah! Aren’t they flying a bit too much!?

Taichi: I think it’s fine even you don’t hit them that hard!

Tsuzuru: The pieces are shooting really far away!

Citron: Tangerine is talented at daruma otoshi~!

Izumi: Ahaha…

Omi: Sorry for interrupting your fun playtime, but the food is ready.

Tangerine: Thank you!

Tsuzuru: Hm? There are some unusual dishes here.

Omi: The ingredients are Japanese. But with the help of Guy-san and Mika, I tried to make some variations like Zafran cuisine. Thank you, Mika. You too, Guy-san.

Guy: Not at all. It is us who would like to thank you. I will use these as reference for dishes to serve at my shop.

Mika: 《I am glad I was able to watch Fushimi-sama's wonderful cooking up close. When I return to my home country, I would definitely like to put this experience to good use.》

Citron: He said that Omi is skilled at cooking, so he wants to copy you once he returns to Zafra!

Omi: Haha. I appreciate it.

Kumon: Alright, let’s hurry up and dig in! It smells so good, my tummy’s rumbling already!

Taichi: Same here! I can’t wait to try Omi-kun’s Zafran-style meal~!

-pause-

Tangerine: …

*hit, hit*

Citron: 《…Daruma otoshi? Do you like it that much?》

Tangerine: 《Yes! The way the blocks are flicked away quickly feels exhilarating.》《It wonderful that Japanese culture still retains their traditional games of the past without being lost to time.》

*door opens*

Izumi: Ah. Citron-kun and Tangerine-kun. Perfect timing.

Citron: What is up, Director?

Izumi: I’m about to go out to do some shopping. Is there anything you two want?

Tangerine: Oh, Japanese shopping…! I would like to go with you!

Izumi: Eh? I mean, I don’t mind at all…

Tangerine: Yay!

Citron: I will go with you then! I will worry if Tangerine goes alone.

Izumi: Okay, all three of us will go together. I’ll bring the car around right now.

-pause-

Citron: Director’s driving was wild as always! It was fun and thrilling.

Tangerine: It was the best, just like a rollercoaster!

Izumi: Ahaha. I’m glad if you say so. (They basically had the same impression… they sure are brothers.)

Citron: Director, what are you buying first?

Izumi: Right. First off, I want to stock up on daily necessities…

Store clerk: We are currently holding a special event with a giant daruma otoshi! Please do participate, everybody!

Tangerine: …! A giant daruma otoshi?

Izumi: I wonder if that’s the one… It’s really big, isn’t it!

Citron: Oh! It looks really fun!

Tangerine: Nii-sama! Director! I would like to try that!

Izumi: Sure. We came all the way here. You should participate!

Citron: If you’re going to do it, make sure you succeed! I will be cheering for you!

Tangerine: Leave it to me~!

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#a3!#a3! translation #a3! citron #act! addict! actors!

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gothhabiba · 5 months

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hello najia, we've always made loubia beans like a dal at home in india, so tomorrow i'm going to try it your (the original?) way! i have two questions though:

i got harissa paste from the store instead of powder. how can i substitute that in? should i add it earlier on when blooming the spices or later on with the tomato?

if one were not vegan so open to adding meat, what stocks would you recommend? what meat stocks are typically used in moroccan loubia? what do stocks do to the flavour apart from making it thicker and richer? (i've never used stocks in cooking and I'm very interested in trying it with dal for example!)

"Loubia" is just sort of the word for "beans" (or certain kinds of beans) so I'm sure it's used by people from different countries in different ways--in Morocco it's used to refer specifically to the stew made by cooking white beans with tomato, onion, olive oil, spices &c. The same cooking method used on a different base product gives you "l'des" (similarly just the word for "lentils," but we mostly use it to refer to lentils cooked in this particular way). Some people throw everything into the pot at the same time, while others fry off the onion, garlic, and tomato first and then add the beans and water (which I go into more in my l'des recipe).

I mentioned harissa powder as a potential alternative to red chili powder, which some people include in loubia & some people don't. Harissa paste isn't a typical inclusion in these stews--we use it as a condiment with a finished meal (couscous, kebabs, &c.). If you're going to use chili powder, keep in mind that here this refers to just dried, powdered red chili peppers, not "chili powder" the spice blend used to flavor "chili" the dish. You could also use a slit fresh red or green chili, cayenne powder, a dried red chili broken into several pieces, or just omit it.

Both loubia and l'des are very frequently vegetarian. Some people add cured dried meat (al qadid), ground beef (kefta), or cubed beef (al Hem). If you're adding beef, it should be fried at the beginning before adding beans and water.

These bean / pulse stews typically use water. The 'stock' you would get if you included meat would just result from the meat simmering in the water along with the other ingredients (which is what my suggestion for vegetable stock or faux beef stock concentrate is seeking to mimic).

Here's a video recipe for loubia including meat. Some words:

maqadir: ingredients

al-Hem: meat / beef

bSla: onion (she says "jouj bSla," "two onions". later she says "bSla Hmra," red onion, and "bSla bayda," white onion)

matesha: tomato (later she specifies that she has pureed four tomatoes)

kaas dyal zit: tea glass of [olive] oil

chwiya dyal mlHa: a little salt

zafran khirqum: fake saffron used for colouring purposes

touma: garlic

qzbara wa madnous, mqtte': minced cilantro/coriander and parsley

flflat Harin: spicy peppers

skinjbir: ginger (jouj ma'lqa sghar--two small spoonfulls)

bzar: black pepper (two spoons)

khirqum / khirqum bldi: turmeric (two spoons)

kilo dyal loubia: 1 kilogram of white beans

#hurricanewindattack #faq

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