#zamboni | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weirdmarioenemies · 6 hours

Text

Name: Zomboni

Debut: Plants vs. Zombies

Plants vs. Zombies is such a silly game. Silly is baked into its very code. And I love that! You know me! I live under rotting wood, eating silly and breaking it down into nutrient-rich soil! But I think Zomboni has the honor of being the silliest thing in this already-silly game!

There is no way Zomboni would exist if it weren't for the wordplay. So thank goodness for the wordplay! A zombie, on a Zamboni. Though, we are informed that it is actually "more closely related to a space ogre than a Zombie". What impeccable word choice! So it's not even actually a space ogre. Just some weird guy creature. Awesome

Zomboni drives an ice resurfacing machine, and I have no idea what the general public's knowledge level of these things is. Does the average person know the exist? I knew, but I played and hated playing hockey as a child so I got to watch the ice being resurfaced, which was the best part. Some guy who may or may not be tangentially related to space ogres will drive this machine around the ice rink, cutting down the surface and laying down fresh ice to make a nice and smooth surface, I think. Now, I may be using the generic term for this product, but commonly, there is one brand name that is used commonly, like Band-Aid or Q-Tip or Velcro, and for that we can thank...

Name: Frank J. Zamboni

Debut: Utah

Frank J. Zamboni! Hooray! What do you have to say, Frank?

Wow. So true, Frank. I'm sure this message is reaching its intended audience in this post. Anyway, ol' Ice Tank Frank made such an iconic machine that it is THE ice resurfacing machine in the public consciousness, and there is even a trademark for its iconic shape! That seems unnecessary but ok. Now, when the ghost of the Zamberino was scrying the mortal realm for references to his work in media, he came across parody in a funny video game, and OBVIOUSLY something had to be done about that!

And from then on, Zomboni's description was updated to reflect that it is NOT to be confused with a Zamboni® brand ice resurfacing machine, you silly billy, why would you think that? And they also plugged the Zamboni website in-game, so that the audience of, I must emphasize, a silly video game, would be more likely to buy an entire ice resurfacing machine, or at least its related merchandise. I really would think this would all be fine under parody law, but maybe it has to do with the shape trademark. Whatever. To the Zamboni company's credit, they have some incredible merchandise.

What a powerful item. With this, the course of a baby's life can be changed forever...

Zomboni with an O, I mean with two Os, approaches while creating a trail of freshly laid ice that cannot be planted on. The brand-ambiguous ice resurfacing machine is quite tough, but instant-kill plants are effective, as are Spikeweeds and Spikerocks, which will instantly pop its tires!

Zomboni is a considerable threat, instantly flattening any plant it reaches before its destruction, though the player should be pretty well-equipped to combat it, and the ice is laid on the right side of the screen, rather than the precious left side. Pretty manageable! But Zomboni is only the beginning, and as much delight and intrigue as I have gleaned from Zomboni's existence, it's what FOLLOWS Zomboni that is, in fact, my favorite zombie(s) in the game.

If Zomboni is allowed to create an ice trail, it will be used by Zombie Bobsled Team! Yeah, Frank got a whole "name/debut" section and these guys just get a bolded name in a sentence. You never know what I'm gonna do next! Hee hee!

Zombie Bobsled Team is exactly what it sounds like! A team of zombies, in a bobsled! So that's four zombies, with a defensive vehicle that has to be destroyed before they can be harmed! Zomboni was already over-the-top silly, and then Zombie Bobsled Team goes even higher over that top. And it's a Big Top, where they keep all the clowns. There is not much else I can say about Zombie Bobsled Team, but it really speaks for itself!

For some reason there exists official art of "Mullet Zombie", the Zomboni driver without his vehicle and hat. And for an even somer reason, they put it on the box art for the DS version! PvZ1 is simply very strange when it comes to official key art. Messed up.

#zomboni #zombie bobsled team #zamboni #frank j zamboni #utah #plants vs zombies #not mario #funky friday #mod chikako #long post

85 notes · View notes

catfindr · 6 months

Text

#petfinder #catfinder #cat #kitten #kitty #zamboni #calico #mn #minnesota

758 notes · View notes

annieqattheperipheral · 2 months

Text

nhl players: i permit the nhl to use the likeness of my image in promotional materials

the nhl:

"hockey players have no personality" nhl: i beg your fucking pardon???????

313 notes · View notes

seat-safety-switch · 2 years

Text

Do you love sports? I love a sport. That sport is called Zamboni. It consists of several minutes of big dudes wearing skates kicking the shit out of each other, until a piece of ice-surfacing equipment powered by a 1979 Volkswagen four-banger comes out and cleans up all the blood. You have to see it: these guys are like artisans; working the blade, the turning brake, and the throttle deftly to put on a show and leave the ice in perfect condition for the flawed monkeys to continue to eviscerate each other upon as soon as the beer ads finish.

Now, of course I’ve owned a Zamboni. And in fact, “Zamboni” is just one of many brands of ice resurfacing machine out there today. You can save a lot of money if you know this fact: everyone and their dog is looking for the name brand, so ads with a B- or C-grade rink stripper are gonna sink to the bottom, where they’ll find a pitifully small amount of your money. There are just two problems with owning one of these fine beasts. First, the top speed is annoyingly low, and second, Big Government keeps plowing away all the snow around my house before it can be turned into shiny, flawless rink-grade ice.

The first problem, as with so many others, can be fixed with sufficient addition of gearing. Since these things are made out of busted-ass old Volkswagen Fox parts, all it takes is understanding where the Fox ends and the Chevy S-10 begins, and then swapping out the cogs in the gearbox with the appropriately-chosen ones. Yes, it means that the 0-60 suffers, but you can fix that with a turbocharger. You don’t even need to intercool it: need I remind you of the giant pile of slowly-melting water that you’re sitting on?

Gearing up your Zamboni to highway speed does invite further problems: I was barely able to finish my break-in tune before the local law enforcement became aware of my actions. Nothing is more antagonizing to them than the existence of liberated, free thinkers such as myself. They may also have been angry that the aforementioned “pitifully small amount of [my] money” was in fact zero dollars, because I stole the fucker right out of a Timbits League game when I was supposed to be working. Hey, it’s my first day, what do you want from me?

Where was I? Oh yes, the ice quality. Here’s the thing: once you lead your pursuers out of the city, where there’s no road clearing, and drop the shaver, it’s difficult for the authorities to continue their pursuit. Maybe it’s because they’re in awe of the gloriously clear ice and have stopped to play a patriotic game of shinny, or it could be because the Lethal-Force-Spec™ Military Terrain® all-seasons that the patrol cruisers are equipped with are better at being bulletproof than they are at being snow tires.

#zamboni

3K notes · View notes

thatsbelievable · 3 months

Text

Friday Funnies!

#Friday Funnies!#comics #comic strips #The Doings of the Duffs #Walter Allman #zamboni

99 notes · View notes

rat-at-heart · 7 months

Text

Drives the Zamboni at the local rink to save up for dental school

#art #doodle #drawing #ratatheart #rat at heart #sports #hockey #zamboni #dental school #dentist #hockey puck

44 notes · View notes

dootingmachine · 1 year

Text

I managed to fend him off long enough to make this by eating spicy peppers; a useful weakness of Zamboni machines.

@littleguysdaily

#little guy #zamboni #zambini

86 notes · View notes

istandonsnowpiles · 29 days

Photo

Zamboni Ridin

#zamboni #pittsburgh #pennsylvania #pwhl #hockey #ppg paints arena #march #my work #photography

8 notes · View notes

thingsmk1120sayz · 10 months

Text

The first ever Zamboni

#Zamboni #hockey #vintage #history #vintage hockey #hockey history #old time hockey #retro hockey #retro

46 notes · View notes

pelipper · 2 months

Text

Sometimes I like to think I'm funny. 🤭 Please enjoy this shitpost that I so lovingly crafted while I was at ice skating with friends earlier today.

#zamboni #ice skating #figure skating #shitpost #dumb memes #personal

8 notes · View notes

usnatarchives · 1 year

Text

ZAMBONI PATENT 1949 “Ice Rink Resurfacing Machine”

By Miriam Kleiman, Public Affairs, in honor of Zamboni drivers Alex B (NGA's Sculpture Garden Ice Rink) and Uncle Hank (Northern MI University).

Alex rocks the Zamboni at the National Gallery of Art Sculpture Garden Ice Rink, 12/29/22, image by Miriam Kleiman.

Ever wonder about the incredibly cool “Ice Rink Resurfacing Machine” (aka Zamboni)?

We’ve got the patent! See all 124 pages in our Online Catalog (NARA ID 117724382).

Thanks to the Zamboni, the ice was smooth enough for this talented monkey! See Ice Skating Chimpanzee, 1963 (The Unwritten Record).

Excerpt from the release sheet: SPORTS MONKEY SHINES! THIS CHIMP IS A GAY BLADE: Usually, summer is the whacky season, but this winter things aren’t on an even keel in Germany. They’ve taught a Chimp to Skate and he’s a real swinger! After some tricks “Archibald” leads a Conga that proves he’s a real gay blade with quite a line figure-8-atively.

“Ice Rink Resurfacing Machine” Patent file excerpts:

PROBLEM: "The maintenance of a satisfactorily smooth surface on the ice is one of the major problems in connection with the operation of a skating rink… The squeegees have no effect on the hard-frozen rough ice, and the ice therefore remains rough 'until the next time that it is scraped."

BEFORE the Zamboni: "Heretofore, the usual method of cleaning off and smoothing the surface of the ice has been to send attendants out onto the ice to sweep off the cut ice with scrapers or sweeps that are pushed ahead of them; while in other instances, the ice is scraped clean by scraper blades mounted on towed sleds towed sleds or on automotive vehicles such as the small, four-wheel drive vehicles formerly used in the military services and known popularly as the jeep In either case, after the surface of the ice has 'been scraped clean, a thin film of water is spread over the ice to fill in the cracks and low spots, and surplus water is then squeegeed away, usually by a number of attendants on skates, pushing the squeegees ahead of them…

GOAL of ZAMBONI: "[An] object of the invention is to provide a self-propelled vehicle that can be operated by one man, and which functions automatically to shave the ice, convey the shaved ice to a large receptacle attached to the vehicle, and then squeegee a thin film `of water over the surface of the ice so as to provide a like-new surface when the water has frozen."

Full citation: Frank J. Zamboni & Co., Inc. RG 241: Records of the Patent and Trademark Office, 1836-1978, Patent Case Files, 1936-1976, Patent Case File No. 2,642,679, Ice Rink Resurfacing Machine, Inventor Frank J. Zamboni. NARA ID 83876135

Much more online!

Ice Skating in the National Archives, National Archives News special topics page

Records Reveal Winter Olympics History, National Archives News:

Ice Skating at Rockefeller Center, 1937, The Unwritten Record:

Kate S. Todd Improvement in Skating-Wands, 1872

86 notes · View notes

catfindr · 7 days

Text

#petfinder #catfinder #cat #kitten #kitty #zamboni #solid black #mi #michigan

328 notes · View notes

intriga-hounds · 1 year

Text

zamboni (top) and clyde (bottom) are home at last. a million thanks to @bufonite for cleaning up all four of my last girls for me. i also got everyone’s skeletons this round.