shang qinghua spends four months straight eating noodles, handmade by his disaster husband, and when prompted says he's basically living the same way he used to live in the modern era but better
MARC MARQUEZ and POL ESPARGARO in Who Knows Indonesia Better? [x]
hi jstor if you're not-for-profit why do you ask me for something-something dollars if i want to download a pdf and have a personal subscription but not library access cuz my univerSITY HAS REFUSED TO SHARE THE PASSWORD
a broke asf postgrad student who is trying to write her fifth term paper of the week.
hi i need to have a 30-minute presentation on censorship in American schools done by tomorrow morning and i know it’s bad that i’m doing it all tonight, but i have had a small anxiety attack every time i have tried to start so here i am suffering
Hey, I’ve been reading through your Batfam fic recs and I love them. Is there any chance you could do one focused on Tim?
OKAY I'M BACK BABY LETS DO THIS, Tim tam, timmy, timothio, timbo, tim tim my baby boy has arrived
four brothers, one crush, and absolutely zero brain cells to be found - bro being bros and brothers being assholes
Cingulomania (Sometimes, Dad Needs a Hug) - READ CINGULOMANIA YOU FOOLS
And the Scene Slips Away (To the Evenness I Fake) - Trauma: the fanfiction aka how I found out dick grayson has been canonicaly raped (wtf dc)
Take Care of Business - A classic
Older Siblings: A Plague on Our Society - Hello officer yes I have been mugged by a person who I definitely do not know
Eucatastrophe - Forgiveness is a two way street, you must also forgive yourself
Home - Who the fuck is tim?
Emergency Contact - Baby tim is baby
What's in a Name? - Tim you bitch mario kart playing ass
His Baby - I'm not crying just from remembering this fic I swear
am i the only one pretending (i did it to myself) - Trauma 2: Electric Boogalo
Trending - He a sleppy ho
what a privilege to love you (to teach you all that i know) - CRY BITCH
Hissing Fauna - If you like DC and Marvel this is for you
Billionaire Down - Uncle oliver is cute
Proof - Brothers find each other before they ever find dad
Hi Bi, I'm Dad - Coming out is scary
Anti-Social - SOCIAL MEDIA BA BY
Bat Out Of Hell - These bitches weird, good for them
The Dark Knight Strikes Back - I FINISHED MINECRAFT? (NOT CLICKBAIT)
middle school is why we can't have nice things - Tim has a serious case of baby face
miss me?- Jason the hallucination
through different colored glasses - Big brothers? More like Big bothers
Panic Room - Tim and Jason are locked together in a panic room and absolutely nothing goes wrong trust me
An Unorthodox Adoption - Tim drakes forces people into being his brother
Road Rage Robin - Ah yes the true angry robin
scapegoat - The tim who cried Jason
Billions of Beautiful Hearts - Bruce gets his kids WAYYYY earlier
Just, How? - DE AGED ROBINS FUCK YEAH
Dangerous and Noble Things - Ra al ghul is nasty and should find better things to do
Bleed the Poison Out (What’s Left Behind?) - REGRET
Distress Signal - DAMIAN WHAT THE FUCK MAN
wrong number - Tim hits his head and calls alfred
16 november 1581 - We all hate Jack drake in this house
Where Babies Come From - Dick grayson: serial baby kidnapper
concealer - TRAUMA YET AGAIN
Little Birds’ Wings - Batman said bye bitch
Beware of Science, Turkeys, Guns, Chandeliers, and Other Sources of Chaos - Little shits (affectionate)
Well this is pretty much it, If you want to find more tim content I recomend filtering ao3 by date and bookmark, I have been trying this system of going by 6 months of fanfics at a time, and recently there is SO MUCH tim content, like so fucking much, my guess is that since he came out people have been flocking to the tim fandom
In which Miya Atsumu slowly poisons his girlfriend’s mind, and Suna Rintaro gives her the antidote
Warnings: Toxic behavior, body shaming, like 2 swear words
At first it was small. That’s how it always starts, really.
You both had started dating recently, and you were in the honeymoon phase.
He would constantly make you blush, never failing to compliment you.
“Princess! If you were an angle you would be an aCUTE angle” he would wink, before hugging you and telling you how beautiful you looked that day.
Maybe it was wishful thinking or naivety, but those days you thought you both would never break up.
You spent summer nights in his muscular arms, dreaming about how handsome he would look in a suit, about the words he would say as you’re getting married, about how his face would look when he sees you in your wedding dress.
You got late on your way to the gym, he was going to walk you home like always.
You decided to just buy him a snack instead of making one like you would usually
His eyebrows creased in disappointment when you handed him the snack you bought
“You seriously bought it?”
Atsumu was too consumed in taking out his frustrations to notice your eyes growing sad
But he played it off like a joke later, and apologized.
He made excuses that he was tired from practice, or that he was frustrated with his last test grade
“Sorry princess, I swear I didn’t mean it. You know I’m grateful for how supportive you are!” He whined, “I love you, I wouldn’t change you.”
With a kiss on the lips, the incident was forgotten.
The next time he got angry was when you were late to a date
Your were stuck at the store, getting yourself some band-aids because you fell and it was bleeding, but the line was very long
It wasn’t an anniversary or an important or particularly expensive place, but it still made him angry.
You walked in half an hour late, bruises and scrapes all over your arms and legs looking like you’d just gone through hell, with a smile
You expected your Tsumu to fuss over you, give you kisses, and tell you everything was gonna be okay.
“Is this you trying to get me back for getting mad at you when you bought me that shitty snack instead of making me something? You know, all of my past girlfriends would make me delicious bentos and take care of me the right way.”
Your face dropped.
He dragged his hands through his golden hair, and the eyes that you fell in love with became eyes you were intimidated by
That day you cleaned your wounds on your own, trying to tell yourself that he shouldn’t have been that angry
But when you looked inside your heart, all you found was love and guilt.
The next day at his practice, you brought a bento you had spent hours working on, bandaids everywhere and your Tsumu apologized and moved on.
“Sorry babe, I was frustrated with practice. Love ya, bye.” He said nonchalantly.
A peck on the lips and the incident was forgotten.
You sat at the bench cheerfully, watching the team, happy that your problems were ‘solved’
Fox-like eyes noticed all your scrapes and bruises, and he sat next to you during breaks in practice, the same breaks Atsumu used to talk to his teammates and fan girls, and he asked you if you were okay.
While your Tsumu should have been consoling you, Suna was fussing over you, telling you everything was going to be okay, as your fake cheerful attitude dropped. His fists clenched as you tearfully admitted how Atsumu felt about your shortcomings as an s/o
That day, and the days after that, Suna Rintaro acted more like a boyfriend than your Tsumu did, despite your Rin only being your best friend.
Atsumu would say, “Babe, are you wearing make up? You know I like your natural look.”
And your Rin would assure you, “You look stunning no matter what you put on your face” with a tiny grin and adoring eyes.
“Hey, princess? Can you put on some make up? Your skin is looking irritated today.” Atsumu would advise.
Your Rin would disagree, shaking his head, “Even if your skin ‘looks irritated’ or whatever, who said that’s a bad thing? You should put whatever you want on your face, sweetheart, don’t listen to him.” And you would tease your Rin for being cheesy.
Atsumu would look at you in surprise,“You can’t fit into the dress I bought you? Maybe you should lose some weight, my ex was a size zero, but don’t worry, I won’t expect you to get there in a day!”
Your Rin would tell you, “I think you look beautiful, size 0 or size 100! Is there a size 100?” You would laugh together as he grumbled that talking to you was making him lose brain cells.
His foxlike eyes watched you, as he admitted to himself that he would make himself look stupid however many times if it made you laugh like that.
Atsumu would critique, “You should eat more. You’re looking pale these days, it’s kind of bothering me.”
And your Rin snapped at him that day, saying “I think your girlfriend can very much choose what she wants to put in her body.”
Atsumu only shrugged and continued munching on the bento you had painstakingly made for him
Your Rin looked at his bento in envy
Osamu would only give you a small apology whenever he heard Atsumu say something mean to you.
He didn’t know you very well, but he did know that you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. However, he wasn’t aware of how often Atsumu would insult you.
As the days went by, you noticed a difference between your Tsumu and Atsumu.
Atsumu hurt you. Atsumu scolded you for your mistakes. Atsumu made you question whether you were good enough to be his girlfriend.
Your Tsumu would never make you feel that way. To your Tsumu, you were a treasure, and he was grateful to keep you.
You and your Rin were walking on the grounds, because Atsumu was mad at you again.
“You’re talking to Suna too often!” He had huffed angrily, “Don’t be such a slut! He’s my best friend, don’t lead him on like that. Are you cheating on me?”
You convinced yourself that things will get better, that it was only Atsumu’s insecurities making him angry and hurtful so often.
The final dose of poison was when he fed some of the bento you had made to one of his fangirls.
They had asked for a taste, eyes sparkling, taking about how Atsumu and Osamu always had the best bentos.
So Atsumu took the chopsticks he was using, the same ones that his lips were on, and used it to feed that girl.
He was unaware that you were tearfully watching, your Rin at your side, your heart officially broken.
You walked up to him, asking him how could you do that, how could you hurt me like this?
But he scowled angrily, and those eyes, the same eyes you were once in love with, the eyes you were scared of, glared at you with so much hatred your knees almost went weak.
And after he said, “So now ya understand how it feels?” in such a petty way, the tears you’ve been holding back for so long finally came bursting forth, and so you told him, “I’m done.”
His eyes widened in realization, and before he could say anything, you finally stood up for yourself.
Because then, you told him what he’d been doing to you as the fangirl and your Rin, your currently seething Rin, watched.
“You’re poison, Miya Atsumu. You tell me to lose weight, so I starve myself. You tell me I’m a slut, that I’m not good enough. You’ve told me that I’m not pretty enough without make up, that I shouldn’t wear make up. I foolishly followed because I loved you!” You stomped your foot in frustration of your past actions.
And you walked away.
You walked to your Rin, the one who treated you how you deserve to be treated.
Because you deserve better.
Atsumu only watched helplessly as your Rin put his muscular arm around you, as you leaned on his chest, as you walked away.
Miya Atsumu isn’t the one who gets dumped, he’s the one doing the dumping.
He tried to convince himself, delude himself that it wasn’t his fault but he knew it was.
Tears fell from his once scary eyes, years later, as he looked at the wedding invitation.
You’re invited to the wedding of L/n Y/n and Suna Rintaro
He never deserved you, he poisoned you, and now that the poison doesn’t have anywhere to go, it ended up consuming him.
Miya Atsumu, professional volleyball player and playboy, sat in the corner of his apartment with sobs racking his body as he cried over his mistakes and everything he’s lost.
BnHA Chapter 318: On Your Left
Previously on BnHA: The Hawksquad+Lurkers were all “well this sucks” and sat around a bit talking about how maybe they should actually come up with a new plan that is actually good, but then in the end they were like “nah.” Deku was all, “THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT PULLS BENEATH THE SURFACE!! CONSUMING, CONFUSING!! THIS LACK OF SELF CONTROL I FEAR IS NEVERENDING. IT’S HAUNTING HOW I CANT SEEM TO FIND MYSELF AGAIN. MY WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.” Just, literally that whole entire song. All Might was all “Deku you should take care of yourself, try eating a thing,” and Deku was all “BYE, ALL MIGHT,” and just LEFT. He left!!! What the fuck!!!
Today on BnHA: Endeavor is all, “maybe if Deku didn’t listen to All Might he’ll listen to me instead.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t listen to Endeavor]” because, well, yeah. The Vestiges are all, “surprisingly, even we are a little concerned -- maybe you should get some rest, kid.” Deku is all, “((Ò ‸ Ó)).” The Vestiges are all, “holy shit.” Deku is all, “[wanders the ruined city streets terrifying the populace on account of him looking like Shelob had a baby with one of the Nazgul].” Some shriveled-up puppeteer villain asshole is all, “HORIKOSHI SAID IT’S MY TURN TO ATTACK DEKU TODAY SO I AM GOING TO SUMMON MY FRIGHTENED HELPLESS ATTACK MOB!!” Kacchan is all “WHADDYA MEAN THEY FOUND THE NERD!!! -- oh wait, that’s me, I found him. I found the nerd, you guys.” And just in time, too. I was about to owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of dollars.
so I have been super good about spoilers this week as always, but let me tell you guys, for the past 36 hours my dash filters have basically been nonstop “manga spoilers” this and “bnha 318” that, and so I’m coming in with a fair amount of hype here. your move, Horikoshi
oh, good! they got Endeavor to call Deku to try to talk him out of it. what a great and wonderful plan
“listen up kid, you haven’t slept since March and you are basically a walking biohazard right now, I’m just telling it like it is. didn’t you get shot like three times?? and there was a whole thing about how you urgently needed medical attention?? and supposedly we gave it to you, but I mean you haven’t even changed your clothes and don’t seem to have any fresh bandages or anything, so did we?? did we, really?? and also we all got blown up yesterday, so yeah.” hmm he’s making some reasonable points here you guys, but you sure do go on and on, Endeavor
oh he says foreign aid is finally on its way! I’m sure they’ll be very helpful. I mean in fairness they can hardly be worse than the home-grown heroes at this point
hey Enji, could you maybe try appealing to Deku the sixteen-year-old human boy, as opposed to Deku The World’s Last Hope? he does have value beyond his quirk. I know that’s always been an incredibly difficult concept for you to grasp, but could you maybe TRY, jesus
and also we’re worried about you as a person?? you’re just a kid and you’re pushing yourself way too hard?? you were going to say that part next, right. why the hell didn’t Hawks make this call instead
“don’t worry about me... I’m completely fine” Deku you do understand that saying it over and over again doesn’t actually make it true
and again with the rush!! all the rush rush rush!! we’re running out of time, we can’t let AFO and Tomura keep getting stronger, I have to end this now, there’s no time to rest, etc. etc. etc. just the constant pressure of this whole big countdown on top of everything else
holy shit, you KNOW it’s bad when even the Vestiges are telling him to chill
these guys are basically the walking talking embodiments of self-sacrifice; if even they’re telling him he needs to take five, then he must seriously be like half a step away from death’s door
OH SHIT LMAO
DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM FINISH HIS SENTENCE BEFORE HE SENT HIM INTO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM WITH THAT FUCKING LOOK. HOLY FUCK. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DIE TWICE. SHIT
(ETA: so I’m pretty sure this was just Danger Sense activating and so he cut them off to go do more hero stuff, but I’m gonna go ahead and stick to my original interpretation anyway lol.)
anyway so how’s everybody doing. we all good? En, you good? Banjou? Shino? I’m imagining you guys all curled up in a little ball on the floor right now lol. can’t say I blame you though, no shame
“SHEESH.” sheesh indeed, lmao. “what in the FUCK was that”
see, this is why y’all need Kacchan. you need someone who’s not going to back down from him no matter what. if it’s a matter of out-stubborning Midoriya fucking Izuku, then there’s only one other person on the planet capable of that, and we all know it. don’t pretend like you don’t. I am not going to shut up about this! we’ve had our hurt so now what about SOME COMFORT, DAMMIT
“I’m afraid that he’s becoming influenced by my conscience” nah are you kidding Nana this is all 100% made-in-Japan pure original Deku right here
see, Banjou gets it. “that kid, he’s totally going on his own.” exactly. this was so inevitable it was basically scientific law
“well I for one don’t see the problem with Deku being so obsessed with saving everyone else that he pushes himself until his body and soul literally fall apart” okay, whose speech bubbles are these?? we’re about to have words
lol of course
well you always did prefer the direct route didn’t you. but even you can’t possibly think this is okay lol
dark AU!Kacchan please tell us more about your badass doomed timeline in which everything went to shit and you apparently had the same character arc that Deku is having right now except it somehow made you sexier instead of turning you into a rabid t-rex. I have so many questions
oh so now you want to help??? well -- good, actually. sorry if that sounded offended just now lol
(ETA: so at first when I got to the end of this chapter I was wondering if Katsuki B. had somehow summoned his alternate-universe counterpart through trippy OFA space telepathy lol. but in the original Japanese there’s no reference to “we”, so this appears to be a mistranslation. this line should probably read more like “if there’s something/someone out there that would be able to complement/complete the current Midoriya Izuku [it would be]…” which, oh hello, is that Horikoshi once again reaffirming that Deku and Bakugou complete each other lol. “guess what guys, the Vestiges ship it too" heck yeah. they know what’s up!)
look how admiring his boyfriends are. HORIKOSHI GIVE US THE REST OF THIS BACKSTORY ALREADY GODDAMMIT
“meanwhile somewhere in the depths of the ruined city, Deku was having a dance-off with the villains”
I like how the villains all have this “AHH WHAT THE FUCK” kind of body language to them lol. I mean if it were me, and an eldritch horror suddenly clawed its way from the shadows with its writhing glowy tentacles and pants-shitting nuclear death stare, I would probably just die on the spot. no need to stick around. only pain awaits
lol for a minute I thought this was Can’t Ya See-kun and I was like “WHAT A FASCINATING CROSSING OF PATHS” but it’s just some random girl
he seems genuinely confused lol
Deku it’s because you look like something that crawled out of a sewer drain, sweetheart
lol they just took his word for it?
so trusting. even though they’re immediately hauling ass anyway just to be safe lmao
“my appearance is frightening to others” no shit Deku it’s because you look like a fucking alien exorcism. you look like a Lich that got caught up in an oil spill my dude
NO NOT THE CHOSEN ONE ANGST AGAIN
I RAN OUT OF ESSAY JUICE FOR THIS ALREADY HORIKOSHI!! I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS NOW WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!! BUT ANYWAYS, GOOD!! I MEAN, BAD, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YES
“ENJOY THIS MONTAGE OF DEKU BATTLING A RANDOM KAIJU AND WANDERING THE WOODS LIKE A DERANGED GREEN BABA YAGA” okay yes but sir, exactly how much longer is this going to go on. if it’s a matter of you wanting to make sure we get it, let me assure you that aside from a few stray chuunis who think that Deku embracing the Darkness is the coolest thing he’s ever done, all of us here in fandom fully comprehend that this is Not Good
-- OH SO IT’S LIKE THAT
really. with the flashbacks to his loved ones’ smiling faces and everything. not even gonna try to aim above the belt, huh
AND NO KACCHAN??! NO CLASSMATES?!?! IS HE PURPOSELY NOT THINKING OF THEM??? OR ARE THEY BEING SAVED FOR THE NEXT PAGE??? SO HELP ME, IF THE NEXT PART OF THIS SENTENCE IS “CAN PROTECT THEM”, OR EVEN WORSE, “CAN SEE THEIR SMILING FACES AGAIN”, I...
WHAT DID I JUST SAY
(ETA: my man did Sero and Kaminari fucking dirty lmao. I miss their smiling faces too omg.)
the sheer, unparalleled irony of him saying this while he stands there looking like the gargoyle demon from Fantasia got crossed with an umbrella that got struck by lightning. Deku :(
oi who the fuck is this clown
is he controlling this mob with his evil hair. “what if I made an exhausted, running-on-fumes Deku battle a brainwashed mob at Ground Zero.” Horikoshi do you just have like a checklist of horrible things you want to do to your protagonist
easy there Sasori
well joke’s on you buddy because he’s apparently “completely fine”, so
“here’s to hoping that you know more about AFO’s location than the others” jesus christ Deku you really have hung your mercy out to dry huh
now he’s forcing his mob of terrified prisoners to attack Deku ahhhh. sucks to be them. at least they’re not being controlled by bees
so Deku is saying that Sasori’s control can be broken with “physical trauma.” similar to Shinsou’s quirk I guess. but so does that mean he’s gonna have to hurt them? ( •﹏•)
NO NOT MORE SAD EYES
“DEATH BY EMPATHY!!!” HORIKOSHI NO
fuck. he looks like he’s on the verge of passing out
this is what happens when you nerf a character’s self-preservation stats in favor of spamming their bone-breaking stats instead. NOW ACCEPTING BRAIN CELL DONATIONS FOR A BOY IN NEED!! with your loving generosity we can hopefully help him live to the ripe old age of seventeen
[grabs your hands] ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ [swings you in a circle] へ(ﾟ◇ﾟへ)
THASSSSSSSS WHATSSSSSSS UPPPPPPPPPP
HORIKOSHI REALLY SAID FUCK THAT MASK (ノ°ο°)ノ YOU FINALLY LEARNED!! IT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!
JUST FOR YOU KACCHAN, HORIKOSHI LEFT THIS ONE BAD GUY WHO’S STILL WEAK TO FIRE. GOD BLESS
IT’S YOUR COUNTERPART, KATSUKI B!!!! HOW WE DOIN OVER THERE IN THE TRIPPY COSMIC OFA SPACE REALM LOL. DO WE BELIEVE YET, FANDOM???
INSTANT RESULTS!!! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!
(ETA: imagine what this must look like to Deku though. he’s been caught up in this dark cloud of despair and exhaustion that’s been building up over... I’m gonna go ahead and say “weeks”, because yeah. and now he finds himself here, in the place where All Might’s legacy ended and the torch was passed to him. and the world is in ruins, and he’s surrounded by frightened people who are all trying to hurt him -- because who isn’t trying to hurt him, these days -- and he’s scrambling to figure this all out, but meanwhile the weariness is finally starting to catch up to him, and so he’s basically just standing there in a fog of complete and utter misery.
and then all of a sudden through that haze, he hears the one voice that’s more familiar than any other that he knows. like, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was just imagining it at first. Kacchan showing up to save him right when he’s at his most desperate and feeling the most alone. Kacchan, showing up to save him.
this is the person he always looked up to as a child (to be fair he was quite a strange child lmao). the person who was even closer to him than All Might. the person he always thought was amazing. and bam, here he is now. appearing in the sky out of nowhere to one-shot the bad guy with a single blast (which, btw, that was his armor-piercing attack too lmao dslkjlk take it easy there kiddo). like, that must have felt absolutely surreal to him, especially coming at a time when he’s already half-delirious and barely hanging on to reality. he must have really thought that he was losing it there for a second.
but he’s really there. it really is him. and for this brief moment -- before the rest of the situation catches up to him, and he remembers about all of the fucked-up AFO stuff, and remembers why he was so afraid and why he was pushing everyone away -- for just this one brief moment, he’s too exhausted and stunned to do anything except to just react. just stands there, looking up at him in awe.
and you know, it almost reminds me of...
just. you guys. the character development. the freaking character development. someone who brings reassurance. someone who shows up and makes you think, “oh, it’s all going to be okay now, because [person] is here.” the role reversals. the growth. the payoff!! because who is the one person who always had faith that Kacchan would one day grow up to become an amazing hero like that. WHO IS IT. YOU ALREADY KNOW.
omg. anyways, bless you Horikoshi, my feels which have been on backorder since fucking September have finally arrived lmao. yes, good, thank you. worth the wait. it is always, always worth the wait. fuck yeah.)
“LOWFRIES” SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE, AHHHHHHHH (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ )
BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL. SENSATIONAL. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT JUMP IS ON BREAK NEXT WEEK. THIS RIGHT HERE WILL SUSTAIN ME
Yoooo poly Bakusquad ✨immaculate✨ the flavor👌🏽 how do think the squad would be wanting to add another person in their poly but they and bakugou don’t get along but start to warm up to eachother I live for the chaos ngl
Poly! Bakusquad💥⚡️🦈👽📦 x GN Reader
You’ve known the entire crew since high school, but it wasn’t until you guys reconnected as adults (and began your careers did you began considering them as partners)
There was something to love about all of them
Mina’s bubbly personality (she was always dropping by on her breaks in full costume to chat and brighten up your day)
Kaminari’s consideration (the most likely to come over with icecream and prepare for cuddles when you’re sick)
Sero’s level headedness (you could always blow off steam about your job, family, or friend drama and expect him to have a reasonable bit of great advice)
Kirishima’s chivalry. (He believed in the holding car and restaurant doors, putting you on the inside when walking along the sidewalk, paying the bill ALWAYS) the whole nine yards
Yes you loved everybody in the crew, except Bakugo
Group chat: Goodnight everyone not names Bakugo 😘😌
KingExplosionMurder: OI TF IS UR PROBLEM?
Y/N has changed KingExplosionMurder’s name to Loud Mouth McAsshole
👽: SKSKSKSKSKS OMG! Bye!
💥: fucking seriously?! 🤬🤬🤬
📦: well, I mean you are kind of a loud mouth
💥: SHUT UP!
⚡️: I told you if you treat people like that you weren’t going to get anywhere, Katsu
💥: fuck off!
Tried to pretend it doesn’t bother him that you hate him, but...it bothers him
The Real Ground Zero; Good morning to everyone except y/n
🦈: Really dude? 😑
👽: that’s peak petty 🙄
💥: SERIOUSLY?!?! You guys let THEM say that shit, but I can’t.
📦: we just want you guys to get along. You have more in common than you realize
💥: The hell we do!
But group dates are inevitable, and when you all decide to take a group cooking course together, you and Bakugo realize you actually do have a lot in common.
Y/n: no, no, Kaminari, that’s not what it means to shock the greens.
⚡️: but that’s what the teacher said
💥: 🙄 dumb ass, shocking the greens means putting them in an ice bath
👽: but that’s like the exact opposite of shocking 😕
Y/n: 🤦🏾♀️ I stg you two have one brain cell shared between you and it be working hard af
You and Bakugo slowly explain how shocking the hot veggies in an ice bath draw out a pretty green color. And watch as your air headed partners finally get it
But from that moment on, you and Bakugo start to warm up to each other through your shared love of food, pettiness, and shit talking
Pretty soon the two of you become the two closest in the group
He’s insane but he’s actually right to be yelling about this.
I never understood these people in dramas who are literally plotting treason and keeping the incriminating evidence. Why don’t you just burn the damn letters after you read them? They always get uncovered and then RIP!
With all that said, I adore this actor! He’s so good!��
Looking forward to more of Da Wang, my beloved, in this episode 🖤
God, he’s so happy to see his father well.
Such a fool 😕
I’m too scared to watch what happens now 😬😬
What did they kill the servants for?
I hate how they just exterminate everyone in their vicious little power struggles.
The best thing about this episode is that I finally managed to get a good look at this beaded crown and count how many threads and how many beads it has. I’m inspired to draw Taxian-jun wearing nothing but that to celebrate!
You know, for science.
Bye-bye, Wang Xu!
I’m mad we never got a proper shot of his death and severed head, but I suppose it would have sent the censorship board into fits, so we’ll just have to make do with out imagination.
Oh, Pang Gui, no ���
This Lan Xichen wannabe 🙄
Lan Xichen would never have showed up to a siege without a sword.
Well, they fucked around and found out 😂😂
Call not in vain the name of Yuzhang Lord 😂😂
There is nothing more cathartic than seeing villains get their comeuppance.
Well, at least he got a good laugh out of this!
For some reason, I’m not too worried about Wang Lin, though. He will slither his way out of this.
I hope Xiao Qi skins you all.
Your brother is a moron.
Pity that you are completely insane, otherwise, with that one brain cell your brothers obviously lack, you could have gone far.
“I love my brother and he has done nothing to me, but unfortunately I’m going to kill him anyway.”
Just watch him put him with Awu so that he can get on all our nerves some more with him moping and blathering about love while Xiao Qi remains off screen some more 😤😤
Why must I be right. And then he’s bewildered why she chose Xiao Qi over him.
He’s surrounded by traitors, fools and hotheads and he really needs his wife back.
When they’re both awful and you have no side to take, so you just watch the family drama unfold 🙄
I really like her, but there is zero chance she is getting a good ending after all this.
She’s not evil, just powerless, in love and with no brain in sight.
LMAOOOO, careful what you wish for!
When he comes down, he will end all your careers for good!
Poor Awu, everything is a mess and in addition to all her problems, she now has to babysit the idiot muppet.
LOL, you tried to kill her, you disaster, and even worse, her husband too.
But watch him give her the seal now. The dead eunuch had it, he guaranteed has it now and just didn’t want to hand it over to Ziliu.
The way he’s playing him 😅😅
Xiao Qi knows he’s a traitor, he doesn’t need anyone to confirm it for him!
Hello, friends, we’ve made it to season 2 and I wish it were a happier occasion but we’re still on stacy territory. Ugh okay let’s do this. I’m gonna have to start a new tag wow
- oh this is the death row patient.
- is his friend next? is this how death row works? are they organised in line?
- slurping sounds
- oh I was gurgling so I don’t have to hear my own vocal fries when I transcribe this thank you past me you really were a considerate bitch
- I thought the guy was in solitary but that’s like their recreational balcony how sad
- he’s playing with a fictional ball but there’s a hoop in there. why would there be a hoop if they can’t have balls? you don’t need to torture them
- HOUSE SONG HOUSE SONG FINALLY! this makes me happy. means we’re entering into familiar territory
- let’s talk about the Death Penalty though
- OH WAIT Cuddy has a secretary we must mention THAT
- what’s the difference between an assistant and a secretary
- cuddy’s password is partypants?? I feel like we’re rushing past this too quickly
- anyway the Death Penalty is utterly illogical. why would you kill someone for killing someone? it makes zero sense. literally how complicated is this
- cuddy let house have death row guy in exchange for clinic duty, which he gave to cameron
- what is happening with cameron’s hair
- if the state is framed around a humanist ideal of human dignity then the state shouldn’t be allowed to violate that dignity since that sets precedent for stripping whomever the state wants of that dignity.
- Honestly it bothers me so much because you’re killing someone for doing exactly what you’re doing??? it makes no sense. we don’t even have to get human rights involved, it just is illogical. then again so is trying to save someone who is about to die anyway
- cuddy is so mad. amazing
- why does cameron have a b storyline? this is not your regular medical drama. you’re not allowed to have your own patients here
- although this is the first time a cameron storyline doesn’t revolve around house, so I can suppose this
- it’s the 5 stages of grief, not dying. what self-help books have you been reading? someone fact-check them
- is Cameron going to marry this girl, now? I say marry her
- oh look foreman coming in strong reminding us he hates poor people
- Chase is against the Death Penalty in principle. In practice, he kills evil dictators. In principle, he realises it’s wrong. But we’re not there yet.
- Yes Cameron tell Foreman about prison reform
- Foreman just said it just means they have to kill more white people! I don’t think that’s the solution here because prisons are overcrowded plus you just shouldn’t kill people in general
- Foreman whyyyy. he really is gonna show up to this patient’s execution with popcorn and a sash saying “Gone too Late”
- I love how Cuddy only hiredStacy because she thought maybe she could handle House, not her actual expertise. I love it I love it I love it
- Great now Foreman’s gonna lecture this guy about how he should’ve studied hard
- wait his tattoo is a native american symbol? does this mean foreman is practicing cultural appropriation?
- yes Chase go
- House just sent Chase to prison lol
- Big reveal on House’s soap
- is this the Coma guy from season 3?
- that’s true Why do they put TVs on coma patients rooms? If it’s true they can here it must be like torture
- Like imagine if I were in a coma and they just played the HIMYM Finale on a loop? I would be begging for death. It would probably kill me anyway. It’s taken my will to live before!
- or like if fucking chaves was on... I would lose brain cells... Actually a brain in a coma probably has more activity going on that the brain of a healthy person watching chaves. if you don’t know what that is, you are lucky.
- Chase in prison!
- Is THAT what toner is? Because I only know it from that episode of Friends where Phoebe is trying to sell toner to George Constanza from Seinfeld, whose name in Friends is Earl who wants to kill himself.
- But here we have this inmate who drank toner to off himself. So does that mean Earl as played by George Constanza’s actor should have bought the toner from Phoebe? food for thought
- drinking booze from pee cups. that’s someone aesthetic
- cameron is just walking around NOT telling her patient she’s gonna die because denial isn’t just a river in egypt
- just in time / but out of line
- cameron’s hair colour is off. it’s just not a cameron colour
- he really could have hit that. he might have even hit it accidentally
- This man’s monologue is right out of that John Green book about holding the cigarette in his mouth... was john green watching this episode
- So, methanol...I am so proud of myself because I just got what House is doing with the alcohol. He’s mixing it with ethanol so it can bind and form propanol. I miss Chemistry, I was so good at it. Favourite scene of the last two episodes because it made me feel smart.
- I just love Carbon, okay?
- can cameron ever not be desperate?
- How cool an escape plan would that be though? You drink the toner to kill yourself, they take you to the hospital, you run, then go to a bar and un-kill yourself. Also this is like a great killing yourself plan in general because you can backtrack from it at any point, harmless! Unless you are a recovering alcoholic in which case there might be consequences
- Foreman was like “let him die” again
- “can u imagine your whole life being about the worst thing you ever did”
“you killed 4 people” POINT 4MAN
- why is no one trying to stop cameron from being completely unhinged
- at least she declared she’s over House. thank you. you will have to keep doing that forever now
- girl bonds with people who are about to die because she hates real commitment, so she seeks emotionally or soon to be physically unavailable people so she never has to experience long-term effects of a relationship. That is the Canon of Cameron.
- for cameron on my tag urself house md meme i put “could empathise with a sandwich - couldn’t commit to a sandwich” and personally I am very proud of that character acessment
- Foreman just asked Chase to describe him in 1 word and Chase said INSECURE tyfiugbhkjli.kgufyjdtsrxfcj,k good shot good shot
- wilson is such an enabler. he enables EVERYONE, he’s not content just being House’s number one enabler, he has to enable cameron on the side
- Yeah, you forgot cuddy was a doctor!
- “Feels like I’m being stabbed”
“Well, you’d know”
- what does he have to lose? he has no reason to lie
- gaaawd why why what have i done to deserve this much stacy
- where was I? oh right while we get through this scene. So the Italian governemnt considers anyone with Italian ancestry to be an Italian citizen even before they claim citizenship and have it recognised. It’s simply a matter of acknowledgement. By that thought process, you are Italian before you are Italian. By that thought process, Chase is already a killer.
- sometimes it be like that, you just kill people when you’re sick. and smtms when you kill people when you’re sick, you already are a killer
- GenPop sounds like a defunct literary magazine
- yeah he’s probably right cause we’re at 37 minutes
- where do you think cameron is? they answered with their faces
- she STILL hasn’t told the patient
- IF MY DOCTOR MADE SMALL TALK WITH ME FOR HOURS BEFORE SHE TOLD ME I WAS DYING, AND SHE KNEW I WAS DYING, I WOULD SLAP HER. I WOULD LEAVE A TERRIBLE REVIEW
- lady chatted with me fully knowing she was wasting my precious time
- this guy’s tattoo burns like the DARK MARK! Like Voldemort is calling to him
- lol it’s like who are you, the photo from Bellatrix escaping Askaban on the Daily Prophet? Barty Crouch Junior? Get over yourself
- Oh My God Foreman is having the realisation that, sometimes, circumstances DO affect people’s actions
- pathology, of course, being the great determinant of personality
- Foreman thinks nature changes things, nurture does not
- that’s so annoying, yes, you can’t make an argument without people thinking of your bottom line
- oh my god hallellujah? why would you even attempt this after Shrek (2001)
- I say this and then I sing along
- does anyone listen to this song and not think of shrek
- oh look the title of the episode is on the board, soooo clever
- okay bye I’m done this has taken an emotional toll in me
- I realise how little I spoke of stacy now. but that’s because I didn’t want to think about stacy, so... this is what you get
- I do wanna point out though that the title also refers to acceptance of stacy being there and simply the fact that her presence needs to be grieved... roasted
- I did love the lack of hameron here! you gotta appreciate the little things
Error by the Crayon Queen
Error 404 by Shadikal 15
Really hoping I get the names right.
TimeHealsTale by moi. (Really jumped into the possible future before telling anything heh)
Reason for creation of Komi, comfort character at first. Now Imma toss her here so that she could fix stuff or cause chaos. Love the chaos.
Continuation - Error ask the other gangs (good bad neutral) for help to subdue a mindless overpowered Komi that could not be killed. They got to think of a way quickly before the count down strikes zero and their multiverse goes bye bye. Ans - Easy, Cross and his ability to control others could get rid of the directive long enough for Komi to override it on her own with rewind. (Error’s strings does nothing even before it got rewinded away out of existence). Now if only they have the brain cells to figure that out.
The only good thing they got going is that Comic doesn’t kill others who’s obstructing her way. So Error can play hot potatoes with Frisks or Charas SOULs while she walks around like a zombie … and this is before she’d think of jumping into Error’s empty AU to get the Red SOULs he kept.
All I can say is, gud luck!
looking for the magic. 015
Jim Hopper x OC Lucy Garland ~Also posted on my AO3
Summary: Nothing ever happens in Hawkins. Jim Hopper told himself that when he was drawn back to his hometown after losing everything. Lucy Garland would disagree. The monsters here are just cleverly disguised in fine suits
A/N: Hello guys. Just wanted to try posting this again. Sorry it's so late, I'm trying. :) Lighter chapter. Jim and Lucy wade their way back to each other as friends. Valentine's Day of 1983 might change a few things. Smut. Beautiful edit by @nottherightseason
Chapter 15: Be My Baby
“How’re the boys taking it?” Lucy nursed a paper cup of coffee, walking through chilled streets and Joyce sighed.
“They’re...taking it. I think Jonathan is helping Will through it better than I could. Built a fort out back. They’re talking. Will is seeing his friends a lot ever since I got him that bike.” Joyce shrugged. Ice ran from every building. Made them all glitter.
“You did the absolute right thing, it’s also the hard thing. Might not seem like it, but you should be proud of yourself.” Lucy offered, walking her friend to the general store’s door.
“Hey, Joyce. Lucy. You both look nice today.” Bob Newby smiled as he opened the door to RadioShack. Too sweet for words. Couple icicles fell and barely missed his head. Shattering upon wet stone. Lucy stared at the fractures, inhaling.
“Morning, Bob.” Joyce replied and he went in with a bright blush. “Thanks for the ride in. Jonathan is getting the car from the shop today, my damn tire.”
“Don’t worry about that, the guy likes me. I talked the price down.” Lucy winked. Took some sugar and lavender to be fair. “Is Will riding his bike from school?”
“Yes, he’s going to the Wheeler house.” Joyce held herself. “You should come over for dinner, I owe you.”
“You don’t, but dinner sounds fantastic.” Lucy paused. “We’re friends. I haven’t had a girlfriend since...a long time. Ladies at the salon don’t count, they gossip too much.”
“Yeah, I haven’t had time for…” A smile. “Maybe we’ll learn something.”
A chuckle pulled from Lucy.
“Have a good day at work.”
“Thanks for the coffee. Needed it bad.”
“What are friends for?” Lucy shrugged, tossing her empty cup out before she waved so Joyce could open the store.
Smiling still, she peered down at her jeans and sighed to walk back down the block. A body swerved around the corner, nearly knocked her backwards if hands hadn’t sprung out to stop it. The waft of warm cologne damned them both.
“Lucy.” The cigarette fell from Jim’s mouth to slushy pavement.
“Jim.” She wiggled out of his grasp. Cheeks pink from him and the cold. “Morning.”
“Sorry, I...got a call about some kids throwing snowballs at the corner studio's windows.”
“A day in the Hawkins’ life, huh.” She joked and Jim gave a tired grunt, adjusting his hat. Clearly hungover and not in the mood for an early call about something so stupid. “They're probably long gone.”
“I’ll check for myself, thanks.” He went around her. Colder. Stopped. “Hey, I… Good to run into you, I was thinking about you.”
“Oh?” She swallowed.
They’d managed to avoid each other for months since the incident at his trailer. A weird mating ritual where they still ended up at the same places because of this damn small town, but played a game of quiet side looks without approaching. It was infuriating even for strangers around them.
“Yeah, I guess we haven’t talked much.” Lucy had continued, puffing.
“Did you want to maybe grab lunch later?” Jim pointed a thumb behind his back. “Benny’s place.”
“Yeah, something light.” He shuffled his feet. Not intimidating right now in full uniform with his blue jacket zipped up tight.
“I’m off today. Couple of errands. But, you take your lunch hour at what, one, still?”
“Mm hm...” Jim gave a nod, lips pressing. “So, I’ll see you...at one. For lunch. Lunch at one.”
“Yes. Lunch. Um, us. At one.” She stuffed cold hands into her pockets. Neither moved. “Don’t get hit with any snowballs. It’ll be a war zone.”
“There won’t be enough room in our cells at the station.” Jim had groaned, steps picking up to go because he had to mentally kick himself in the ass. “See you later, Luce.”
“Bye, Jim.” Lucy went the opposite way. Lips tugging.
** ** **
Martin Brenner tried extra hard to win Lucy’s affections back. Piles of gifts. Never even judged her clothing when she wore pants. She did as she was told as far as jobs for the lab. Clean up and debrief again. Secrets and lies to be spun.
“This is the latest technology for diabetics, dear. Come see.” Brenner set a clunky machine upon her marble counter. “You insert the tab here. And you have to bleed. Enough for it to be read.”
Lucy didn’t flinch when her finger was pricked. Brenner’s touch was what made her tense. Squeezing to let blood bead and dribble like strawberry glaze.
“You bleed here. And... bravissima .” His hand swept her back as she held a napkin around her finger. “It’ll read your sugar. You can use it to get a better handle on things. Do you like it?”
He asked it like a school boy wanting a treat. Lucy let him kiss her brow.
“I do, thank you, Martin.” She tossed the tab aside.
“Do you want to see Mia this month? I can arrange it.”
“She’ll say what she always does.” Lucy turned to see his eyes. “The little girl saw me last time. Jane. She saw me. She saw us together.”
“Eleven was not supposed to be brought down that hallway.”
She was so small with huge brown eyes like a bird. Inquisitive and frightened of this world she hadn’t come to know yet. She looked right into Lucy’s eyes and something resonated.
And then Eleven’s gaze wandered to Martin’s hand on Lucy’s arm. Pulling her into his chest. They looked like a fairy tale. About to share true love's kiss.
The orderly marched her off.
“She’s magnificent. A budding little rose, she calls me Papa.” Martin touched his chin. Truly happy.
Affections used to control her. Lucy bit her tongue.
“You could train her when she gets older. Show her how to adjust to this life. She won’t be released, Eleven is meant for something so grand. But, imagine it. First and last together as it should be. We’re going to make contact.”
“Contact?” She watched his eyes. Near unstable.
“You opened my world, Lucy. Eleven is going to open this dimension for all of us. Zero to Eleven. First and last. It’s almost poetic.” Martin caressed her cheek. “You need not worry about her until it’s time to.”
“Can you bring her something from me?” Lucy asked. “I found it in the basement. Had it washed up. I think she’d like it. I hoped for a little girl of my own to give it to. But, I...”
She offered a green stuffed bunny.
“Please.” Lucy pushed it into his hand.
“I’ll see that she gets it, you have my word on that.” Martin waited there so she exhaled out her nose. Came up and pecked his cheek once. Empty.
** ** **
Lucy changed her shirt for lunch. Applied a new lipstick and spritzed some fresh perfume. Loathed that she did that. Ignored the glucose machine and drove out to Benny’s. Beat Jim there and found a table.
“You ordering the usual?” Benny approached her with no lunch rush today.
“Yes, I was going to wait,” she blushed, “I’m, er, meeting Jim.”
"Jim? Jim, who now?" Brows lifted high.
"Benny..." Lucy chided. "Hopper."
He slapped his knee for the theatrics.
“I'll be damned. Hear that boys? Lucy and Jim are going to talk like civilized folk again. Our kids are all grown up.” Benny announced to their friends playing cards across the way.
“You won the pool, Ben.” Earl called back. Laughter erupted. Benny shot Lucy a wink and went to collect his winnings.
“Hey! That’s not fair.” She whined after him.
“What’s not fair is the silent treatment you two decided to spring on each other.” He peered up at the bell with one hand on Lucy’s shoulder. “And here he is now. Making a pretty lady wait is rude, buddy.”
Jim sucked air into his lips. Gave a tense smile at Lucy’s pouting. Scrunched.
“You didn’t tell her about the-”
“Just did, I won.” Benny’s arms crossed.
“You knew too!” She shot out.
“He nearly tore Earl’s head off,” Benny clapped Jim’s back and passed them. “I’ll get the usual going. Jim, be a gentleman. Pay for the lady’s meal.”
“Oh, no, I got it.” Lucy went for her purse but Benny snatched Jim’s money.
“Don’t worry about it.” He tossed his coat into the booth and plopped down. “I need a smoke bad.”
“Snowballs?” Lucy asked as he stole the ashtray to light up.
“The Gillespies had some issue with an owl in their shed. Big mess. Brought up some old trauma.”
“I hope you read that poor bird his rights.” Lucy's joke made him pause, lip twitching. Jim seemed lax which meant he was a couple pills into this day. “Thanks for buying lunch, even though Benny bullied you, I’ll get the next one.”
“Next one.” He mused, sucking the end of his cigarette until the cherry glowed white hot. Lucy shrugged.
“Friends can have lunch whenever they feel like it.” She had this fluttered look. Half dreaming back into her seat. Lucy felt a tingle from her brain stem down her spine. Tugged at the collar of her already unbuttoned blouse. Hot and cold at the same time. Adjusting, she peered at Jim again. Beamed.
He watched those nervous fingers. Still curled up into her own shirt. Brown eyes kept averting.
“Luce, you okay? You look flushed.”
“Just a little light is all,” she rubbed her head, elbow braced on the table. Heavy and mumbling. “Could you…? Could…?”
“Benny, you got something sugary back there?” Jim was on his feet to catch their friend’s attention. “Juice or soda.”
“I got it,” Benny hurried out with a cup for Jim to bring back to Lucy. Holding her head and quivering there. Sweat beading down her neck. They caught it early this time. Jim touched the back of her skull and brought some punch to trembling lips.
“Just sip it.” He helped her manage not to spill on herself for once.
“She okay?” Benny leaned to see.
“Y-Yes.” Lucy felt around Jim’s chest. Blindly grasped his shoulder. “Yes.”
“I’ll get the food out in a few minutes.”
Too many eyes blared into Lucy’s skin.
“I’m fine. I’m fine. It’s just embarrassing.” She grasped the cup with two hands so Jim slid back in across from her. Stares dwindled at a slight swipe of Jim’s palm when Lucy wasn't looking so they'd stop.
"Gets you quickly."
“It’s usually worse. I get fussy.”
“Not fussy, just need an extra hand. Don't mind to be that for you. You shouldn't be embarrassed.” Jim reached over the table to thumb under her lip, fixing the color that smudged. She warmed and batted those lashes at him.
The moment was interrupted by a bang on the window. A younger woman making an obscene gesture at Hopper. Glaring daggers before she swept down the street. Earl and the boys chuckled while he hid his face in his hands to groan.
“Food’s up.” Benny set two baskets down, rubbing Lucy’s shoulder before she nodded wordlessly to show she was okay now. “Did you even know that one’s name?”
“No.” Jim groaned so Lucy stole the ketchup. “I’m an asshole.”
“Yes, you are, bud. We’ll still keep you around.” Benny’s jest as he walked off made Lucy snicker so she dug into her fries.
“I feel way less embarrassed now.” She passed the red bottle over. Jim’s eyes lifted, a spark in them. “Friends?”
“Think I can manage that much.”
** ** ***
They managed. A month and they managed. More light lunches. Little chats during a short walk.
Friends. Lucy had plenty of friends despite the loss of Logan and Mia burning white hot in her heart. Logan in a nice suit beneath the earth. No longer smelling of amber or peaches. Mia and her clipped words at the end of the phone. The forced distance to keep Hawkins Lab happy.
Lucy had Benny and the boys. She had Joyce and their lengthy conversations. Karen always gave her sweet advice at the salon despite the Hawkins gossip.
And she had Jim. Pulling her over for fun because he was bored during a patrol. Jim and his kind eyes that hid so much. Not enough. Hungover and lax once he got some pills down. They laughed at each other's jokes and shared soft touches, that was enough.
Did Jim want more when Lucy leaned into him with those lashes fluttering so pretty? Did she want more every time Jim’s eyes softened before he gave her a smile. Swept an arm around her frame.
Yes, they wanted more during every second of it. These moments where they felt safe and nurtured. Certain for a fleeting beat that the world might let them breathe again.
But, they were friends. Friends who went out more and worried about how they looked or smelled around the other.
Had themselves convinced it could stay this static.
Nothing was ever set in stone, not while a mighty river ran so vast and eroded every little carving. Lucy sometimes thought she saw her life etched on every bleeding wall like the sovereign Pharaohs of old. Glistening in the budding, dewy morning light. Warmth she'd never feel on her face. No one could see the damning writ and judge the things she'd done, only her.
Valentine’s Day of 1983 came around. Lucy wasn’t working. Jim took half the day off. Flo only shook her head at him.
“A rest from all that rest, Hop?” She quipped, eyes on the bag in his hand. “Are those gifts?”
“Just...some stuff for Lucy, she had an episode last week. I’m just…”
“Say no more. Go see your girl.” Flo waved him off. Jim’s cheeks burst pink.
“Flo, she’s not-”
“You bought gifts for a woman, on Valentine’s Day no less, without making me do it, Hop.” Flo smacked a file aside. Peered up through her glasses. “And she doesn’t show up here trying to slash your tires like the others.”
“That was one time.” Jim muttered.
“Yes, and your upset following has dwindled since you started talking to the Garland girl.”
“She really a witch, Chief?” Callahan came up behind Flo to offer his report. “Might have you under a love spell.”
“They say that house is haunted, better buy some sage too. My wife swears by it.” Powell chimed in from his desk. Chuckles erupted on Jim’s behalf.
“How about you two make some magic and turn all your reports in on time, yeah?” Jim found his last cigarette which Flo snatched to toss out. Offering him his keys.
“Don’t smoke before you kiss that poor girl, Hop. She's sick enough. Now, get lost.” Flo shut the window on him. Jim grumbled all the way to his car. Drove to Lucy’s place to see her standing on the front lawn. Admiring the garden. Taking pictures as she walked about the grass in some clean tennis shoes.
“Jim?” She turned upon seeing him. Bounced all the way over and almost knocked him to the ground tossing her arms around his neck. “Come see! Look! They’re perfect! I did it!” An excited hand tugged him into the yard beyond the hedges and willow tree. “Look at them!”
Dahlias of all bright colors. Popped up and bloomed full. Not even straining during the colder month. They all unfurled and grinned fully at him. Swaying in the breeze.
“I told myself I was going to do it, I was going to keep some flowers alive for a season and I did!” She bent over for more pictures. “I didn’t kill something for once, damn it.”
“They’re great, Luce.” Jim laughed at her creeping around in a billowy tunic dress she’d just tossed on after the shower colored a rustic orange. Threw on shoes and reeled outside to take pictures while the sun was high despite the slight nip in the crisp air.
“Fucking great, at least,” she corrected, “it’s been a struggle since last summer to get these babies up.” The dress slipped off her shoulder. “I’m making lunch if you’re hungry. Big chicken sandwich. Toasted. Can’t eat it all.” More snaps clicked. Lucy trying to get every angle possible. Cute.
“I could eat.” Jim swallowed when she stood taller to beam at him. So pretty there in the sun and wind with the flowers dancing for her. Washed and clean. No makeup. Messy locks piled into a clip on her crown and falling around her face.
“You're not in uniform.”
“I took a half day. Changed out of the khaki. Brought you some stuff, it’s…”
“For Valentine’s Day?” She licked plush lips. Averted her eyes. “I got you something too actually. Just a small thing.”
“Right.” They both shuffled. Just friends. On Valentine's Day. Jim followed her into the house. Set his paper bag on the counter while she put her camera away.
“Food or gifts first?” She asked.
“I’d say gifts, one thing needs to go in your fridge.” Jim gestured before she went to the closet for a box with Jim’s name in the corner. “You first.”
“Let’s see.” She peeked inside the bag, settled his gift next to it.
“Careful, that…” Jim came and grasped the first gift. Cringed at himself. A little cactus with a dark fuchsia flower on top.
“I’m prickly?” Lucy laughed and cupped the small pot. “Trying to say something, huh.”
“No, it was a good idea when I bought it.” Jim looked nervous there. “You were always saying how much you hated flowers and couldn’t keep them alive. Guess that’s revoked though. I hear a cactus is easy to care for and the flower’s that color you like to wear.”
A softer smile crossed Lucy’s face.
“I love it.” She bit her lip, eyes lowering. “Believe me, the flowers outside won’t last. Guess I’m enjoying them while I can. This little guy can sit on my counter.” Lucy placed it on a dish. “Adds to the room, I think.”
“Don’t hit me for the next thing.”
Lucy pulled a heart shaped box out. Face flat.
“Girls like chocolates, but you have a refined palate-”
“The no-fun-allowed disease.”
“Refined palate. So I threw the junk out..." He ate it. "...and replaced it with your favorite snacks.”
Lucy laughed pretty hard when she opened it.
“You made me a heart shaped veggie platter.” Her head tipped into Jim’s shoulder. “Flowers and chocolates designed for Lucy Garland only. I get it, Jim.”
“I was hoping you would."
“God, I hate that I got you something so normal.” A box pushed at Jim while she went to the fridge. Paper tore and he stilled so Lucy crossed to explain.
“You said you broke your old man’s pocket knife when you went up to the Etowah with Benny and them. Seemed upset about it. I tried to find one like it and the salesman bragged about this one. He even offered to engrave your last name into the side there. See?”
“Lucy, this is…” Jim felt it and gave a nod. Blue eyes lifting to her. “Thank you. I actually got you something else. Didn’t want to leave it in the joke bag.”
“What is it?” She watched him settle the knife away carefully and reach into his pocket.
“Not being arrested, am I?” Lucy waited and caught the glimmer of a chain. Tried to see the necklace he was settling around her. Froze when his fingers shifted loose hair aside to clasp it. Jim let her go to the mirror. A delicate gold chain with a sky blue jewel framed by tiny diamonds, shaped like a teardrop.
“It’s your birthstone, the lady said women are crazy about their birthstones.”
“It’s beautiful.” Glimmering there against her skin. Lucy crossed to kiss his cheek affectionately. “Thank you.” Jewelry that didn’t feel heavy on her bones. Jim leaned in and stopped himself. Both of them caught up in lingering stares. Searching.
“How about we, um…" She had to look aside to function."Food?”
“Yeah.” Jim broke to chuckle so she went around him. Condiments shuffled about while Lucy cut a fresh hoagie roll down. Jim sliced the chicken and they piled the sandwich full. Took both of them to cut it in half.
“It’s perfect.” Lucy decided. They sat across each other from the couch balancing plates to catch crumbs and fallen tomatoes. Her thumb swept some mayo from his unshaven chin, giggling before she flicked channels about.
“Did you have more plans today?” Lucy had asked when the credits on one show rolled. She’d stretched her legs out into Jim’s lap either way. Settling in to get comfortable.
“Not a one.” He was watching the screen and massaging her knee. “You?”
“I decided to use a day off as an actual day off. Lazy day. No errands.” A hum followed. “That feels good.”
Friends give each other gifts. Friends relax on a couch together. Jim rationalized it a thousand ways. Swallowed a hard lump in his throat. Friends can think about sliding their hands higher. Contemplate the moan Lucy would give if he touched her.
“What a rebel.” Came his remark. Lucy turned on her back to stretch her arms over the rest. Dress hanging loose around her body. The lace of her cherry red bra peeked out. A stream of sunlight cast over her frame.
Ethereal siren bathing on the beach. Jim pictured warm sand and rippling waves rocking her back on forth.
His fingers sunk under the hem of the thin dress. Massaged flesh. Lucy’s eyes drew to the TV again. Nerves prickling up at his touch. Chest lifting, an exhale tremored. He kept kneading, both of them staring at the television and taking nothing in. Jim slipped a little higher. Squeezed.
Half a breathy squeal gasped from her lips.
“Don’t tell me you’re ticklish.” Jim’s head tilted with a twinkle in his eye.
“Okay, I won’t.” Lucy pushed herself up before he could react and kissed him. Hands on his face to feel the shock dissipate. Jim had one arm behind her back holding her up and the other around her legs still bent in his lap. She came out an inch. “Uh, oh.”
“No, nope.” Jim went back in for more. Kissed her breathless into the couch. Scruff rough against her neck and collar.
“Jim…” Her sigh followed fingers into his hair. Coaxing him to continue. Straps slipped down her shoulders so he could trail over the soft skin. Inhaling her perfumes and lotions.
"Yeah?" Breath warmed.
“I want you. This. I was this.” His head lifted so their eyes could lock. Another tug brought her dress and bra down.
Lucy moaned, eyes closing at the feel of his lips and scruff upon her chest. Leaving little pink marks. Jim inhaled into her dress. Sunk lower off the couch as he pushed the skirt over her hips. Legs slipped off the couch and his fingers tugged at her underwear.
“Jim!” She yanked up when the fabric slipped down her legs.
“Hmm?” Those broad palms tugged her bottom to the end of the couch, unworried. Crept up hot thighs to open them.
“What are you....?” His mouth pushed into her legs. That fucking stubble scratching sensitive skin. “Oh.” Lucy plopped back, one leg shifted back up on the sofa. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Jim gave a chuckle into her skin, hitched her opposite leg over his shoulder. Fingers twisted into the sofa cushions. Been a while since a man laid her back and spent time doing this. Lucy tossed her head back, aimlessly grabbed for the hand on her hip holding her in place.
“We’re in trouble, aren’t we, Jim?” She bit her lip.
“Do you care?” He asked between deep kisses, lapping at her clit so the reply was muffled. Vibrating her.
“I mean, I know I should. Fuck, I like you though. And your mouth...” She rambled on. “Did... ngh ...you come over here thinking...?”
“Lucy.” Jim’s head came up. She puffed to see him.
“Yeah?” Her breasts rose and fell.
“You ever just relax and let a guy do his job?” Jim licked his lips and palmed one of her breasts.
“Never in all my life.”
“You’re gonna start today.” That hot mouth was on her again.
Fingers opening her up for obscene, wet kisses. Tongue sweeping inside and over the bud until he closed his lips to suckle. Building her up. Inch by inch. Thrilled and hard at the feel of Lucy's body unfurling.
Jim stopped to rub her. Replaced his thumb with his tongue after pushing the little hood back. Puffy and wet for him. So gorgeous. Jim moaned into her mound. Licked into her and back up. Until she bucked desperately and begged him not to stop.
And he did. Which earned two hands pulling at his arms. Few curses too.
“Wait...Wait. I was almost…”
“I’ll get you there, stop worrying so much.” Jim pulled her up into his chest. She kissed him back into the carpet. Tried to take control. Got turned over by his much larger frame. Made it a game and wiggled out from under him. Started to crawl away until a hand grabbed her ankle.
“I’m resisting arrest.” Lucy giggled. “You gonna punish me, Chief?” Jim hugged her back into his chest.
“And just when I was being so nice to you, Luce?” Jim tortured her neck and unclasped the bra to tug it off her body. Dress bunched around her waist, Lucy pressed her bottom back into him. Managed to twist around and slide her arms around his neck.
“Maybe I want to be good to you too.” Lucy ran her nose along his chest. Inhaled sugar all aflame. Palmed him until she got his belt open. Jim nipped at her bottom lip, pushed Lucy into the carpet and jerked her over on her hands and knees.
She moaned at him being rough with her. Taking her exactly how he wanted. Spreading her legs to see her drip for him. Lucy dipped down until her spine curve. Spread. Tremored when he slicked himself against her folds.
“You’re quiet now.” Jim teased. She turned to see him, huffing in irritation.
“What do I need to do to get you to fuck me here?” Lucy cried out when he pushed in to the hilt. Jim leaned over her, too amused.
“Just had to ask nicely.” Fingers tucked her hair aside.
“Please?” She whined, already trying to work back into him. Filled to the brim. Jim hushed Lucy, covered her with his warm body and snaked a hand down to play with her again. Groaned when she clenched up and snapped shallow thrusts.
Unable to lessen the pressure, she slurred little pleas. Begging for more.
“Do you like this dress?” Jim asked calmly. Pushing up to pump with some rhythm. Lucy felt a tug and gave a barely audible reply.
Fabric tore down her back. Leaving her naked and him mostly clothed. Belt clicking as he fucked her into the carpet. Red marks cast all over her skin. Nails dug into the floor. Jim started pounding into her unabashed, fingers quick between her legs.
“Jim.” Lucy wiggled. Muscles beginning to clenched. “Fuck, I’m already there.”
He knew. Wasn’t worried. Let her curse him out and climax. Her wells clenched so tight, he slipped out. Stroked himself a couple times and brought Lucy up, fully intent on putting her in bed and never letting her leave today.
They made it halfway up the steps before he was inside her again. Back pressed firm into the stairs. Lucy had her legs around his hips. Brought him down for a messy kiss and started getting his shirt off. Heels kicked his pants down. Jim held her wrists into the carpet. Thrust through the ache and pushed her thighs wider apart. Loved that she was moaning and mad for him.
Jim chased his own release. Let her hold him and whisper dirty things about how good he was fucking her. Groaned into her neck and nudged their heads together after he’d finished.
“Bed,” Lucy was pawing at him, “bed.” They dragged and finally made it into the blankets. He massaged her sore frame. Dipped back down between her thighs and played. Tongue and fingers working her for as long as it took to orgasm. Jim was a patient man. She wiggled and cried out.
Bodies slicked in filth and sweat, they curled together. Lucy drew up to use the bathroom and turned all fans on high. Sighed back into his arms.
Jim passed out holding her close. The daylight flickered into the curtains so Lucy turned into him. Decided a nap was the perfect idea. He woke to that same daylight hours later. Lucy kissing up his jaw. Her hand tracing down to cup him. She needed him. Jim shifted on his back. Sleepy kisses trailed before she sunk down. Rode him.
He gripped those hips and rocked her in tune. Looked up at Lucy curved and moaning. Beautiful with the flickers of hot sun on her skin and hair. Glittering gold. Curling up her body like elegant vines. She finished and slipped down Jim’s body. Kissed her way to his shaft.
“Lucy, fuck.” His mouth fell open. She didn’t get to play like this. Jim got close and blindly grasped her shoulder. Tried to warn her before she choked.
Which, she still did.
Lucy gasped, splattered release on his thighs and covered her mouth.
“I’m sorry.” She blinked watery eyes and licked him from her lips and fingers. “I did it wrong. Sorry.”
Jim pushed himself up. Still out of breath.
“Lucy, don’t apologize to me ever again.” He brought her in for a kiss. She broke to laugh, head on his shoulder.
“Want to take a shower and order pizza for dinner? Sausage and pepperoni…” She came out to catch his eyes. “That’s not an innuendo, I’m just hungry.”
“Fair enough.” Jim heaved her naked body from the bed. Lucy held onto his shoulders. Giggled all the way to the shower.
Thought she heard The Ronettes singing something delightful and candied for the occasion distantly. Lucy smiled again.
For every kiss you give me, I'll give you three...
Eyes on Jim before a stolen kiss.
Friends again. Not asking for more. Not yet of course. Orange groves in full bloom.
Sometimes just being held was enough.
Thanks everyone, leave words if you have them. :)
TAGGED: @chiefharbour @thirstyforhop @we-are-all-a-messs @nottherightseason @harboursource @deathvalleyusa @katesnotokay @girlwiththenegantattoo
hmmh you wanna shit on some characters? let's see... Sekke? or maybe Solid? I mean you kinda sounds pretty chill with most controversial characters I know about so I don't really know (for some time I thought you hate Langris and Gauche lol). How about this, choose three bad characters you feel like talking about - yes I'm looking for some unpopular opinions here :P
I really was kidding when I said I wanted to shit on characters... however, since you asked... I’ll talk about three characters I’m not the biggest fan of.
I love l’il shits like Gauche and Langris, especially because at the end of the day they have their saving graces and clearly have potential for redeeming. Plus they are entertaining to watch, even if at times entertainment slips into annoyance.
Lets start with someone obvious and non-controversial -
How I feel about this character:
I think he’s a trash character. He’s there to be annoying, and nothing else. He annoys the heck out of me and has zero entertainment value. Intially, I actually liked him, he was cunning, and seemingly friendly and I kind of wish he remained friendly, if maybe calculating. But nah, he’s just been made this useless recurring character that can’t do anything, yet is so damn arrogant. At least some of the other characters have the abilities to back up their claims and their confidence. He doesn’t.
Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:
Maybe Augustus, Dante, Nebra, Vanica, etc... in a crack ship. But if we’re being serious, most of these - asides from Augustus - are still too good for him, and saying that, these were some of the characters I least liked.
My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:
Don’t have one.
My unpopular opinion about this character:
Uh... maybe that I don’t think he’s funny?
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
Well, my mind would probably changed if he actually turned into a smart, decent character... wouldn’t hurt if Tabata gave him an extra brain cell or too.
Favorite friendship for this character:
I mean, he has “friends” but he doesn’t have actually friends, so there’s nothing really to say here either.
My crossover ship:
Probably Minetta from BNHA, at least for now. They’re both annoying, and well, birds of a feather...
Vanica - SPOILERS FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN’T READ THE MANGA
How I feel about this character:
She’s not a completely terrible character. For one, I’m glad that she turned out to possess the devil that cursed Acier... I thought it would have been a guy who had Megicula, but this was a neat twist. But she’s also a Sally 2.0, except less likeable and the person that orphaned the Silva siblings, which is largely what turned them into the people they are today - so, very deeply flawed people that have a very long way to go before they can be considered morally good characters - and look, another character with a messed up eye. Original character design trait. That being said, she is a female this time, so I guess this is passable. That being said, she’s otherwise just like any other female except with black hair and even there, someone’s already beaten her. Also there is just something about her that I just... I don’t even know what it is, but it annoys me to no end. I’m sure she could become a decent character, it’s not like we’ve seen all of her yet, but so far, I’m not impressed.
Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:
Nobody. Maybe Sally, actually, if Vanica ever does turn out to be a better person than I assumed, or you know, redeemable.
My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:
I guess her brothers. They do feel some loyalty towards each other, which is one of the few things that keeps me from assuming Vanica a lost cause, unlike, say, Augustus.
My unpopular opinion about this character:
I don’t think she’s cool, or hot - but then, I’m not into females so I guess I can’t judge that - and she’s probably weak. Otherwise she would have done some damage, but no, everyone survived her attack, everyone’s fine, and the Black Bulls are all in one piece, completely unscratched, unscathed, etc. I mean, look at them in the spoilers. They don’t look so much like characters that have been in a deadly battle, as school kids after a PE lesson. And even my PE lessons were more deadly than that. Hey, my glasses got broken TWICE, I got bruises and scrapes, and then there’s Noelle and the other’s who come out without a single mark after a huge life-or-death battle.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
I hope she manages to either kill a Bull or someone other than a Golden Dawner - Zenon’s already done that, no copying your brother, Vanica - from Clover Kingdom. And not Sekke. I might very much dislike him as a person and as a character, but that is not going to make for an emotional scene or make anyone think Vanica is an actual threat. I mean, an eight year old could probably beat up Sekke.
I’m not sure what would actually save her character though, that’s just something that would save her reputation, power and her importance in the current arc.
Favorite friendship for this character:
What friends? She literally doesn’t have any, and it’s never implied that she might be friendly with anyone asides from her brothers. And no, siblings don’t count in this case.
However, if she were to get be redeemed and get friends - and help, she needs help, she’s clearly not sane, get some help, woman - then either Sally or Charmy would work well with her upbeat disposition. I mean, Mimosa is cheerful too, but considering this woman killed her aunt I’m not sure they ever could be friends, but... anything could happen. This is shounen. Fantasy shounen. Okay, now I’ve said that I’ve probably jinxed the whole thing and fifty chapters from now the two will be skipping through fields together, holding hands with flower crowns on their heads...
My crossover ship:
Himiko Toga (BNHA) - I mean... they are both antagonists, and they are both completely whack with seemingly no redeemable traits. Also, if she has redeemed herself yet, I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen all of BNHA/MHA, and now I’m rewatching it to bring back the memories of my opinion on the show for an ask. Where I left off, she didn’t seem like a redeemable character, and as of right now, Vanica doesn’t either. Go team villain...?
SPOILERS END HERE
And here’s the really controversial one, I would say. By the way, thanks for coming to my TED talk, I will now dig that grave out for myself before you all threaten to kill me to spare my poor ghost from having to do the digging.
How I feel about this character:
I think if she weren’t so hyped by everyone I would just view her as character that I feel neutral about. I guess she’s cutesy in some ways and not a bad person, really. But she’s also bland and I don’t quite vibe with the Charmy hype. Small girl who is a massive foodie. Not very original. Sure, there are plenty of walking tropes in Black Clover, but... this is just one that... I dunno. For one, until recently she - up until now - never received repercussions from eating so much - thank heavens that changed in more recent chapters. She has the blandest attire, that makes her stick out but not in a great way. In a fantastical world with a medieval feel to the characters’ clothes’ design, her damn attire just doesn’t work. Also, though I can enjoy food, I can’t relate to just how much she enjoys eating, and it’s not like she ever stopped. Vanessa laid off her drink recently. Gauche put faith in someone else and stopped being so aggressive. Gordon speaks louder now, so he doesn’t sound unintentionally creepy. Then there’s Charmy who just got a power boost but nothing else about her changed, and she got revealed to be a half dwarf which just kind of feels pointless considering she could have been anything else that would have explained her power, but she has to be the only dwarf around... And I could go on about how much everyone else but Charmy has changed - William has become more honest, which is shown through his gesture of no longer wearing mask as a symbol of him not hiding anything. Langris has become more acknowledging of other peoples’ talents and more respectful. Yuno is becoming more sociable and friendly - but if I did this for every character I feel like we’d be here till the next ice-age.
Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character:
Despite me not liking her much, I do actually ship her with Rill. I do like Rill, and honestly, if there was someone else more suitable for him - but I can’t think of anyone else - I’d choose someone else, but they’re magic is related to art in some way, they’re both on the shorter side, of a similar age, and are more upbeat... so if Charmy were to become more of a character - which is a possibility, I mean Tabata’s already fleshed out many of his characters - and less of a caricature then I think the two would be well-suited for each other.
My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character:
... hmm... Maybe Julius. They seemed to get on well during the Tournament Arc. Otherwise she hasn’t interacted with anyone particularly significantly except maybe Asta.
My unpopular opinion about this character:
I think that if a Black Bull had to die in this arc - and given how poorly the Dark Triad did overall, that might have to be the case if Tabata is going to show us how much of a threat they are -, it should be Charmy. As a mascot, comic relief character, but also as a powerful mage and someone who is loved by people, her death would really make people see the Dark Triad as a threat and as a malicious force of evildoers. Plus she’s my least favourite Black Bull. Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I’m very well aware that I should start digging my own grave, good bye.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:
That she’ll realise that she’s getting nowhere with Yuno, and that there is more to life than food?
Favorite friendship for this character:
Asta, I guess. She hasn’t really interacted with much of anyone else. Maybe Yuno. I just don’t think he views Charmy as more than a friend, so I could place him here.
My crossover ship:
Mitsukuni Haninozuka (Ouran Highschool Host Club) - another person addicted to sweets, plus he’s short and he’s hyper. He’s sort of like a mixture of Charmy and Rill.
By the way guys, if I do die I neither want to be buried nor cremated. I might be a bad bish because of this opinion, but surely you could fulfil a dying sinner’s wish and give their flesh to the beasts (animals) and wash and keep the bones - especially the skull and the hands... maybe even some ribs - to use as halloween decorations? If I wasn’t intimidating in life, I’d like to be so in death. It sucks to be too short and too potato-faced to intimidate anyone. XD
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒌𝒚 𝑰𝒔 𝒂 𝑺𝒂𝒇𝒆 𝑯𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏 ❧ 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑰
A/N: thank you guys for a hundred followers! Sorry about the delay between the uploads, I haven’t been writing a lot lately and I’m still working on the chapter after this. I figured that posting this would be a good way to celebrate a hundred! Hope you enjoy the series, and remember that I’m always open to feedback, questions, etc :)
Word count: 1.4K
It was twenty-seven years after your final encounter with It when you were called. It was funny, since, like you were of the passing of time, you were unaware of who was on the other line. It took a minute of recollection to realize what the Derry, ME on the phone screen meant to you, and who this man was saying he was. Then it all began to flood back.
“Is this (Y/N) (L/N)?” you heard on the other line.
“Yes, who is this?”
“It’s Mike. Mike Hanlon, from Derry.”
Derry. The word was so familiar. So strange at the tip of your tongue, yet so… mnemonic. It was the name of your hometown.
“Oh my goodness… Mike, hi, it’s so good to talk to you again.”
It was the place that had seemed to escape your mind for almost twenty years. Where you grew up. Went to school. And, through odd circumstances, formed your strongest relationships and deepest fears. It also wasn’t just the odd place, you thought, that was flitting back into your memories; it was also the people.
“I agree. However, the subject at hand isn’t exactly the most lighthearted.”
It was also the events.
“Hold on… This couldn’t possibly be about—”
The dreaded summer of ’89.
“I hate to say it, but it is. It has returned, (Y/N). You need to come back home.”
The vivid image of that horrid clown pierced your mind for the first time in years. Those were the thoughts that were burned into your brain for the rest of your high school career, only fading when you escaped Derry to attend college.
“I’ll— I’ll make plans to leave as soon as possible, Mike. You’ve called the others? Are they gonna come?”
You remembered your friends, the Losers, the misfits that banded together. There was stuttering Bill Denbrough. Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier. Beverly Marsh. Eddie Kaspbrak the hypochondriac. Ben Hanscom.
“I’ve called almost everyone by now.”
And there was Stanley Uris, the boy who was there for it all.
He was your love and your fear— it was terrifying to realize. While the illusion of the tarantula towering over you was scary enough to your thirteen-year-old self, the thought that came after was much more shattering. The thought of losing him.
“…Do you have Stanley’s number?”
Even though you were deemed too young to have known what love was at the time, you knew that Stanley was too important to you to possibly lose. And that was exactly what you were shown. Being vulnerable, especially after Its assault on him, it was heartbreaking for you to see two of him.
One had begged for you to be okay, telling you that he was there for you, that he would never, ever, ever leave you, that you were everything to him. His voice was hoarse from his previous panicking, screaming, sobbing, and it was ever so desperate when he called out to you. He had blood and sweat and tears staining his face that was bent with fear and worry. He had fresh wounds on the sides of his face from where he was bitten by that horribly warped lady.
The other begged for you to save him, telling you to stop hurting him, that you were killing him, that he would be gone because of you. His voice was hard with disappointment and accusation, sharp enough to pierce your heart and break it permanently. He had blood dried in smears across his face and more of it leaking and sputtering from his lips as he berated you. He had the palest, most lifeless skin, and his eyes were even more so. This impression —Its impression— on your feeble mind was almost emotionally fatal.
The confusion and paranoia lasted a fair amount of time since then.
Completely unwilling to recover and clean up by yourself that day, you accompanied Stan home. You worried that if you weren’t there with him, he would be gone and you would see that deathly vision in his place.
You insisted on helping him disinfect his wounds, even as your hands were trembling, and he eventually had to take care of the matter himself. It was a bit of a predicament for the both of you. You did, however, manage to secure the bandages around his head when he finished. He then cleaned up your scratches for you. It was slightly difficult with one hand, for you were tightly gripping his other one in your own, but he was innovative and concentrated. You just needed to be sure he was beside you.
“Yes, I do. It’s four-oh-four…”
When the oath was made at the Barrens, everyone received a cut on their palm as a token of their promise. You winced as the glass shard pierced your skin, immediately cradling your other hand beneath the cut one. Soon, though, your bloodied hand gripped Stan’s.
You had felt him squeeze your hand, lightly and mindfully enough so that it wouldn’t hurt; a sign of comfort. You gazed at him with such a deep look of admiration in your eyes. The sight of his bandages made your heart ache.
On your right, you held Mike’s hand, and everyone together formed a circle. The eight of you stayed there for a few silent moments before letting your hands fall back to your sides. Your hold on Stan’s was more prolonged.
“Okay, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Stan had glanced at you and then looked up at Bill, who was across from him. I gotta go. Your breath hitched and your heart dropped. I hate you, he told Bill. One by one, everyone cracked grins and laughed. Your smile was a weak echo of the others’. You were nervous.
When the laughter died down, Stan caught your eye. I’ll see you later, he said softly. He began walking, setting out towards home, but he also let himself linger a moment or two longer.
Yeah, same. Bye, guys, you said with a wave to the group. While you didn’t want to leave everyone so abruptly, you couldn’t be without Stan after what It had shown you. The Losers parted ways with the two of you.
“Bye, (Y/N). Be seeing you tomorrow. Travel safe.” Mike ended the call.
When you met up with Stan —you had to rush only a little since he had gotten a head start— it was oddly silent at first. You began overthinking. Does he notice how I’m practically following him around like a lost puppy? I’m probably annoying him really badly. Does he know what I saw? Why I’m so afraid?
You looked between your cell phone and the notepad that you had scrawled a cursory phone number onto. Stan’s number. You hadn’t even realized that your heart was throbbing until then.
Stan, I’m sorry, you told him on your walk. I just— I can’t be alone right now, after everything that’s happened. I should probably be going home, but…
With the foreboding weight of your fear on your shoulders and with shaky hands, you began punching in the numbers. Four… zero… four…
It’s okay, he said quietly in return. He didn’t prod or ask for an explanation, but it did seem like he already knew. However, at that moment, you had a tacit agreement not to ask each other what you had seen.
The dial tone sounded, echoing through your head. One ring.
You remembered spending that day at his house, practically locked in his room. Neither of you wanted to talk about what had happened —not then, at least— but it was evident that you both needed comfort and protection from it.
You made small talk as you sat about a foot apart on his neatly made bed. You learned more about each other. That foot was reduced to inches. You confided in each other. Those inches were reduced to closeness. You cried to each other. That closeness became contact— shoulder to shoulder. You consoled each other. That contact became an embrace.
You spent that night in his arms, needing the constant reassurance that he would be there. That he was real. That he was okay. That he still believed in you. There was always a raging mental battle going on— you could never tell if he was there or just another twisted illusion.
The line connected.
Was he there?
Like A Brother
“I mean, I didn’t even see it on you, though.”
Lingerie shopping, being brotherzoned, and failing to confess three times—these were Len's woes.
what’s the best way to ask someone out
What’s this all of a sudden
you’re not kaito
answer my question
it still stands
But you’re right
Just ask her out
I didn’t say it was a her
and that advice sucks
Well, it’s straightforward and the easiest way to ask someone out
Idk what kind of advice you were expecting
advice from kaito
anyway I’m done
It was indeed terrible advice. Len spent the entire day trying to hypothesize a plan of attack, to just ask someone out as blatantly as Meiko put it, and perhaps that was the normal way of asking someone out, but this someone who was to be asked out was not normal.
His head hurt.
Rin held up a hand in front of his face and fluttered her fingers in an attempt to draw him back from his inner turmoil. “Earth to Len,” she sang, and when he blinked several times, she gave a winning smile. “Good, you’re back.”
She then proceeded to hold up a bra-and-panty set, and it occurred to him that he’d not registered walking into ye ole tutuanna moments earlier. He’d walked himself into this disaster.
“Is this too much?” she asked, gesturing to the everything of the lingerie. It was cute, and it was frilly, and it was a great effort not to let his mind flirt with the image of her wearing said outfit.
Len swallowed hard, trying to muster up some sort of appropriate answer. “No,” he squeaked.
Rin looked at his face, then back to the set, then back to his face. “It is too much, isn’t it,” she said, placing it back on the rack and moving on to another set that caught her eye.
He stumbled after her, training his eyes to the back of her head. He was aware he did not belong in such a store.
Normally, Len would steer clear of tutuanna, knowing full well the repercussions of him waltzing into the store after Rin. But he had only two brain cells, and both were offline after that unfortunate brief conversation with Meiko earlier.
Just ask her out.
Right, yes. Just ask her out. Right now, in the middle of a lingerie store. That would be awfully romantic.
Rin stopped and turned back to him sharply, holding up another set for his opinion. He almost walked into it, but managed to stop and take a calculated step backwards.
“What about this one?” she asked, using her free hand to play with the lace sewn around the perimeter of the bra. It was pretty and yellow, and much more soft.
Len wanted to say, Yes, that would look so beautiful on you like holy shit man do you want to go out I mean what I mean yes that’s totally what I meant please date me you goddess. But instead, he said, “Er, shouldn’t you be dragging Miku into this store for opinions, rather than me?”
Rin lowered her hands and gave him this look. “You didn’t have to come in here if you didn’t want to. I was just asking a second pair of eyes.”
He flushed. Okay, yes, she had a point. But still. “It looks nice,” he said, deciding to steer away from a potentially awkward conversation in-the-making.
She, thankfully, dropped the subject, and turned back to the set. “It is really nice,” she agreed, pouting her lips in thought. “You don’t think it would wash me out too much?”
What, was she going to walk around in this on the street or something? It was underwear, and it concerned him she cared so much about something like that. Did she have a secret boyfriend? Or a girlfriend? Or both? Or a sugar daddy? Oh no.
Len kept those concerns to himself, though. “No. It’ll match the colour of your hair and contrast with your eyes.”
Rin seemed pleased with his answer, and reached over to tap his arm. “Well, you sold me.”
It was… basic art theory he was drawing his knowledge from, but sure.
She turned away to find her size and then disappeared off to the dressing room to do the fitting. Len took it as his chance to skulk out of the store and free himself of his misery.
Of course, he was still freaking out about why Rin was buying underwear. Like, yeah, okay, buying normal underwear was fine, but this was fancy underwear. This was the kind of underwear girls bought to show their lovers. Or their customers.
He wiped away a bead of sweat. This was not going well.
About fifteen minutes later, Rin came skipping out of the store with a shopping bag tucked under her arm. “You were right,” she said. “Even the assistant in the fitting rooms said the colours suit me.”
Who would have known.
Len, unable to Be A Better Person, smiled slightly and cleared his throat. He fell into step beside her as they set off down the hall of the mall. “So, uh,” he said. Rin turned to look at him, smiling. “Why are you buying such pretty, uh, underwear, when it’s just… underwear?”
She tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
“Uh,” he stuttered. “You know… like. Is there a reason? A special event or something?”
She stared at him cluelessly a few moments more, before blinking a couple of times, realisation dawning on her features. “Oh. You mean, like, am I buying this for someone else?”
Len swallowed. “Uh, well, not specifically, but just… you know.” He gave up.
Rin tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I mean, girls can buy cute underwear for themselves, Len. Sometimes it just feels nice to have something cute.”
“Right.” This was awkward. He was an idiot.
She continued, “But, I mean, I guess I’m buying this for someone else too. Potentially. In the future. When I’m dating someone.”
He tried his best not to look too relieved at her answer. “R-right.”
“Besides, it’s good to get a guy’s opinion, too. Like, my opinion and Miku’s opinion are well and all, but your opinion is just as great because… that way I know a guy also likes it. I guess I won’t feel as nervous if I do wear it for… when I’m dating someone.”
Len nodded, although it was a little like Rin had chipped away at his heart with her words. He then said something completely and utterly stupid, that ruined the moment entirely (not that there was a moment, or anything, because there definitely wasn’t).
“I mean, I didn’t even see it on you, though.”
Rin’s whole body manoeuvred to face him like she was possessed by something otherworldly, and she looked at him with wide eyes, kind of shocked.
He spluttered something to cover his mistake. “Uh—that came out wrong—I mean, like, I didn’t—I don’t know what it looked like on you—so I don’t—I uh, um—” He just decided to leave it there. He was making it worse, if anything.
She was silent for a moment, before her hand slapped his shoulder. “You perv,” she said with a teasing grin. “It’s alright. I get what you mean. You do have a point, but… don’t think you’ll get to see this on me, though.”
Oof. Like, major oof.
Len laughed, or, well, fake-laughed given the situation he was in, and just said, “Right. I wasn’t intending on that.” He wanted to eat his own foot.
Rin looked smug. “Good.”
Sometimes, he was very worried Rin knew—she knew somehow he was, like, a bitch for her. Miku had reassured him she was completely oblivious, but still, when she said stuff like this, it was sort of like she was purposely jumping up and down on top of his metaphorical heart.
She then linked her arm with his, and proceeded to drag him into WEGO.
“You just have to do it,” Kaito said, when Len crawled his sorry ass over to him during Music Club on Monday. Rin was running late to their club meeting—she had a Science Club thing, and, god that girl was crazy enough to try balance two clubs at once—so Len told everyone about his woes.
Well, not everyone, but the people who cared.
“I can’t,” Len protested. “She has made it very obvious on several occasions she has never, ever considered dating me, let alone will consider.”
“So? The worst she could do is reject you,” Meiko pointed out, leaning back in her seat and folding her arms over her chest.
“It could also permanently damage our friendship,” Len said.
Kaito shook his head. “Rin doesn’t seem like the kind of person to do that.”
Sitting over in the corner, Miku said from behind her hand mirror, “She’s adamant Len is like a brother to her, so I’m afraid I’m going to have to agree with Len on this one.”
“Miku,” Kaito said in an exasperated tone. “You’re supposed to be on our side.”
She looked at him over her hand mirror, fixing her lip balm with a finger. “I don’t take sides.”
The pair were staring each other down across the room when Rin waltzed in, her hands full of books. She stopped when she noticed the sour atmosphere. “What did I miss?”
“Rin,” Kaito said as a greeting. “I have a question.”
She gave him an uncertain look as she walked over to a desk and dumped her armful down. “You’re not kicking me out of the club because I’m late every Monday, are you?”
Everyone looked at each other, as if the assumption was as absurd as it was fair.
Kaito blinked. “No.”
Rin took a seat between Len and Miku. “Okay. Shoot.”
“On a scale of zero to 10, zero being not at all like a brother and ten being the brotheriest brother a non-brother can be, where does Len sit with you?”
She frowned in confusion and shot a questioning glance at both Len and Miku, who actively avoided her gaze. “Why… what sort of discussion preceded this?”
“Answer the question.”
Rin touched her hair, mulling over her answer. “Like, I would say a nine,” she said.
“See? I told you,” Miku piped up.
“What is the context for this?” Rin asked.
“It doesn’t matter,” Kaito said. “We’re done now. Thank you for answering the question.”
When Rin wasn’t looking, Kaito shot Len a very apologetic look. Len just gave him a very sad shrug.
You know, she’s not going to budge on the brother thing.
it’s just so cruel
Is she into incest?
I don’t think I could handle her referring to me as a brother while we fornicated, meiko
It’s a thought.
Len has a valid point. And no, she isn’t.
look I gotta say I’m not with you, Meiko
I’m just trying to help, okay? Len isn’t even being friendzoned. He’s being brotherzoned.
maybe you should just tell her you don’t see her as a sister, Len
she’ll assume I’m ending our friendship if I do that
so then yoU TELL HER YOU WANT TO KISS HER
Ok. All of you are useless. I’ll try talking to Rin.
I am concerned but I have faith you won’t turn this into a dumpster fire
I’m honoured you trust me so much, but I can’t ensure my contribution to this dilemma will promise any sort of positive outcome.
Miku is scary
that is… relieving to hear. somewhat. thank you
Rin walked into class the following day with a worried expression on her face. She parked herself next to Len’s desk, and waited for him to rise from his daily 10-minute-morning-nap.
He squinted at her a moment before rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn. “Morning. Can I help you, Rin?”
She frowned and pulled up a chair to his desk, leaning in close as if about to engage in some secret conversation. “Good morning. I just wanted to ask you something.”
There was that split moment of panic where Len thought Miku had dropped the bomb and told her everything, but made better judgment of the situation: she wouldn’t be so calm if such a thing happened.
He quirked an eyebrow. “What’s up?”
“Miku told me not to call you, like, my brother or whatever,” Rin said, scowling at her words. She was sort of angry; he could tell by the way she was twisting a strand of hair, almost yanking it out of her scalp. Ouch. “She said it was weird and sort of like… offensive, apparently? And like you probably don’t really like it?”
Len cleared his throat. Well, Miku was right, but he didn’t know whether he wanted to admit the truth. “Uh…” he said, glancing around the room for help. No Miku, Kaito nor Meiko were in sight. Hmm. “It’s not that I don’t like it… it’s just that… it makes me feel a little uncomfortable.”
A lot. A lot uncomfortable.
Rin’s mouth twitched. “Why?”
“Because I’m not your brother,” he said.
“Well,” she said, twisting and twisting and twisting her hair. “It’s just that… we’re really close and we’ve practically grown up together. So I just see you as a brother figure. Is that bad?”
Len swallowed. “Uh, not exactly, but um, I…” he trailed off, averting his gaze to the floor. He was floundering around, trying to think of saying anything but the fact that he was a big fluffy pile of goop for her. It was proving very difficult with his two brain cells. “I just… I don’t see you as a sister. I see you as my friend. A very, very good friend. A super close friend.”
Rin stared at him a moment, before squeaking, “Alright.”
He immediately had a rush of guilt. It was clearly not alright. He reached out to pull her hand from her hair before she twisted herself bald, and she gave him this look of surprise, like he wasn’t allowed to touch her.
“Um,” he said. “I mean, I’m not… mad at you for seeing me as a brother. You can… keep seeing that if you really want to. I, uh, can’t stop you, I guess.”
Rin’s eyelids fluttered as she looked away. “Right. Yeah. It’s just awkward because it’s not like, mutual, or whatever.”
Now you know how I feel.
Len scratched at his head, groaning inwardly. He’d walked himself into a corner. His discomfort with making Rin feel bad made everything backfire miserably, and now he wanted to kick himself.
“I mean, I consider you one of my closest friends, and I would tell you anything. Just because I don’t see you as a, uh, relative, it doesn’t mean you’re any less significant and important to me than I am to you.”
She sighed. “I guess you have a point. I’m just being stupid.”
He shook his head. “You’re not.”
Rin shrugged her shoulders and looked like she wanted to disagree, but said no more. A few seconds passed in silence, before she stood from her chair and started to drag it back to its home.
At that moment, Len acted on impulse and stupidity. His hand reached out to hers and grabbed it, prompting her to turn back to look at him with raised eyebrows.
“Um,” he spluttered. “I like you.”
Rin blinked. “What?”
“I like you,” he repeated. “As a friend, I mean.” That last part was not supposed to be said.
She gave him a weird expression. “Uh, thanks? I like you too, Len.”
Not trusting his mouth to say anything useful, Len just smiled and nodded. Inside, he wanted to die.
Once Rin walked off, he put his head in his hands and let out the world’s biggest sigh.
“So you told her you like her as a friend, huh,” Miku said, appearing from some crack in the hallway on the way to fifth period.
Len squawked, before the reminder of that morning’s shenanigans hit him like a blow to the mouth. “It—I—uhhhh—”
Miku just snickered at him, and he gave a sullen look. She let it drop, clearing her throat. “Sorry. I just had to keep that in when Rin told me. She was so, so innocently confused.”
“I’m honestly suffering,” Len said.
“We know.” She shot him a sympathetic expression.
He hugged his textbooks close to his chest and burrowed his chin into them, looking like a lovelorn 12-year-old. “So. What do we do next?”
Miku winced. “I don’t know,” she said. “At this stage, I think she’s becoming… a little suspicious. Everyone’s been acting kind of weird. So have you. I mean, I like you as a friend isn’t something you just blurt out like a confession.”
Len’s cheeks burned. “Yeah, well, I’m a fool, but even I know that.”
She reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder with a serious look. They had stopped in the middle of the hallway. “Maybe you’re just going to have to confess to her.”
He almost cried. “Oh no. Not you too.”
“I’m sorry, Len,” Miku said. “But I think, if you want this to get anywhere, you’re going to have to just… go all in.”
Len groaned up to the ceiling, shook off her hand and turned away to continue on down the hallway. “I’m giving up already,” he said over his shoulder at her, before walking off to class.
She didn’t bother pursuing.
len what answer did you get for q. 76 on today’s math homework
I have a question
what’s up bro
actually nvm I forgot
I’ll ask you tomorrow
Len almost flushed his phone down the toilet. “What’s up bro,” he grumbled into his hands. “Why did she—ugh.”
He rolled over in his bed and switched off his lamp.
Rin knocked on his desk, shaking him from his nap. He lifted his head, and almost put it back down again when he saw her hand planted on the top of his desk.
“Good morning sunshine,” she said. She was snickering about something. Her hand gestured to the side of her face. “You’ve got a bit of, uh… crusty saliva on your cheek.”
Len frowned, reaching up to rub it off. “Why are you here so early?” he asked, glancing at the clock on the wall behind her. It was barely even eight. She usually breezed through the classroom doors around 8:15.
She stole the desk chair from in front of him, sitting on it backwards to face him. “You left me hanging last night. I was dying to know what question you wanted to ask.” When he gave her a blank look, she rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you still don’t remember?”
He scratched at his chin. Of course he remembered. He never forgot in the first place. “Er, yeah, that’s right. My question.”
Rin leaned forward in the chair, cupping her face in her hands. “So… question. What was it?”
“Um.” Was he really going to do this? In the homeroom classroom at 7:54 in the morning, while a good chunk of his brain was still in standby mode? Well. Yeah. He was, apparently. He coughed into his fist and licked his lips. “Right, uh, so… I really—”
“Rin! ” The two of them jumped in their seats, startled. “Oh, you’re just the person I need right now.” The voice of a classmate interrupted before he could even get his question out. A flustered Luka Megurine came running over. “Gumi blew up the science classroom again, can you come and help us clean up?”
Even Rin looked somewhat annoyed, but plastered a complacent smile on her lips. “Um, yeah, sure.” Before she could get another word out, Luka already had her by the wrist, dragging her out of the classroom.
Rin glanced back at him apologetically and mouthed the word ‘sorry’ .
Len wanted to flip his desk. Was the universe against him doing this? Trying to protect his fragile heart? Did he have to jump through hoops to get a simple confession out?
Instead of wreaking havoc on his surroundings, he just settled for letting his head drop to the desk with a loud thud.
any luck son
rin/len is the world’s notp
Rin didn’t seem to follow up on their morning conversation at lunch. Either she had forgotten, or she had just given up on asking about it.
That was fine.
(Was it? Was it really? )
It was yet again another Monday afternoon, so Music club began without her presence. Thus, his friends’ minds were running wild.
“Okay, so, we all get up and leave the room,” Miku was saying. “Like, Oh sorry Rin we just remembered we ALL forgot to hand in our term paper or something stupid like that. I don’t even care. But Len just stays sitting. So it’s only the two of them in the room.”
Len had his head down, massaging his temples. He didn’t even want to be there anymore.
“And then he gets down on one knee like he’s proposing,” Kaito interjected. “And he confesses.”
“I’m not getting down on one knee. That would just be stupid. She’d probably kick me in the face.”
“Isn’t that what you want, Len?”
Len shot a glare at Kaito, who was sniggering to himself in the corner.
“Or maybe—” Miku’s face lit up, like she had a brilliant idea. “Maybe we can all get ready with our instruments, and start playing a romantic song when she walks in, and Len can serenade her.”
“Miku, you and I both know too well the fact that Rin would freak out and probably sock me if we pulled something like that,” Len said.
Her shoulders sagged. “Yeah. You’re right.”
He sat back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair. “Besides,” he said, “do we even know if she likes someone? Is there any chance of her liking me? It’s just not worth all the trouble of us doing something big like that if she’s only going to turn me down. I’d rather just experience that in private.”
Miku, Meiko and Kaito all exchanged glances. “Well,” Miku said, twisting a ponytail in her hands. “She has admitted, like, once that she likes someone. But no one knows who, of course. That girl holds secrets like they’re her lifeline.”
“That doesn’t mean anything, though.”
The argument stopped there as the classroom door opened and Rin came running in, almost crashing into Miku, who was standing in front of the doorway.
Everyone looked at her, and she stared back. Her fists curled. “Seriously guys, why do you keep giving me strange looks whenever I come in here?”
“No reason,” Miku said, albeit suspicious. She then pretended—with the worst acting ever—to be surprised. She gasped and held up her hands to her face. “Oh no! I forgot to hand in my Biology paper. I’ll see you later.”
She skated around Rin and disappeared out the door.
Len retained face-palming and looked to Meiko and Kaito expectantly, who were looking at each other, having a secret mental conversation.
You go next. No, you go next. Whatever, I’ll go fucking next.
“Oh no,” Kaito said, standing up with the most deadpan expression ever. “I have a tummy ache.” He ran out of the room.
Rin blinked, opening her mouth to say something, but Meiko swooped in with, “Oh no, I don’t want to be here.”
She then walked out.
Only Len remained, glued to his chair, staring at the carpet as he registered what just happened.
“Uh,” Rin said, her knees walking into his line of vision. “What’s going on? Why did everyone just leave? Are you guys pulling a prank on me or something?”
Len lifted his head with a sigh. “It’s not a prank.”
She frowned, before taking a seat beside him. “ Okay, well… What’s wrong?”
He really didn’t want to do this. At all. But there he was, alone, in a room with Rin. His friends would probably never let him live it down if he walked out of the room without something to say. He didn’t have a choice to back out of this situation at this stage.
“Well,” Len said, averting his gaze to the window so he wouldn’t have to look at her face. “You like someone, right? Miku said you like someone.”
Rin blinked at him, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyes dropped to her knees. “Oh. Er, yeah. I do.” A beat of silence passed, before she asked, “Does this have to do with that question you’ve been meaning to ask?”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah. I guess.”
He didn’t like the hear of that. But he didn’t look at her, still. “Who is it?”
Rin was quiet, before she laughed nervously. “You… are you serious? You can’t just outright ask me a question like that, Len.”
Len finally forced himself to look at her. She was fidgeting with her hands in her lap, the tips of her ears red. “I’m serious,” he said. “And I can ask you a question like that. So—who? ”
She gaped, before her eyes narrowed. “You first.”
Len opened his mouth. “Huh. ”
Rin nudged his shoulder with her fist, her lips twisting, like she was suppressing a smile. “I’ll tell you who if you tell me who you like, first.”
“Oh.” His cheeks grew warm. She was chewing on her bottom lip, jiggling her legs in her seat. Her look was somewhat of triumph, like she knew he wouldn’t agree to it. But it didn’t matter. He had already planned to tell her, anyway.
“I like you,” he said simply.
Rin’s legs stopped jiggling. She raised an eyebrow. Lips parted, like she was about to pose a question.
He beat her to it. “I like you,” he repeated. His face was burning. On fire, actually. “Not as a friend. Or a sister. Not like that. It’s more than that.”
She just stared at him. Eventually, she just said a very tiny, “Oh.”
So that was that.
That was it. He confessed. Nothing happened.
Cool. Cool. Cool.
Len wanted to cry a little, but he forced a nonchalant expression as he asked, “So, what about you?”
Rin just sat there, frozen for a while. It was like her brain was connected to shitty internet and she was buffering. Eventually, her shoulders began to shake, and a hand went to her mouth.
He couldn’t believe his eyes.
She was… laughing.
She was… laughing?
He gawked at her, confused. Just—what? She wiped at tears in her eyes and lowered her hand, before saying, “I’m such an idiot.”
Len mumbled, “Huh.”
Rin reached up to smooth down her bangs, fixing her hair, scratching at a spot on her temple. Her lips twitched up into a smile. “I’ve been such an idiot. You—you’re dead obvious, and yet I’ve been…” She shook her head. “You’ve been trying to—everyone’s been trying to—but I’ve just been—”
She was thinking aloud, dropping the ends of her sentences and leaving him hanging, snickering and eyes flitting about the room. He didn’t know how to feel—mortified? Afraid? Concerned? Was she having a mental breakdown? Had he broken Rin?
“Um…” he tried, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“Dragging you into an underwear store—no wonder you looked like you wanted the ground to swallow you up,” she continued, now directing her gaze to him. “The whole Miku thing, don’t call Len your brother, it’s kind of mean. Yeah. I get it now.”
Len was on the battlefield, and Rin was driving the sword deeper into his wound. Okay, yeah, we get it, he wanted to say. So, like, can we move on from you stomping on my heart metaphorically, or…
She took a breath, finding a sense of calm in amongst her hysteria. Her fists curled in her lap, bunching up the fabric of her skirt. His eyes went to the skin of her thighs, before they bounced back up to her face, mentally cursing now is not the time, you horny bastard.
“I’m sorry,” she said, genuine. His heart sank in his chest. Here comes the rejection. “I’ve been such a fool, Len.”
He reached up to adjust his collar, too tight around his neck as he swallowed. “Yeah, so, um, anyway, now that that’s over with—”
For the upteenth time, Rin interrupted him. This time, it wasn’t with words. She just launched herself out of her chair and planted her mouth on his.
Len yelped, shocked by the sudden movement, but melted soon thereafter as he registered her warm lips moving against his own. Her hands were on either side of him, gripping to the back of the chair. Her leg lifted as she leaned in to him, knee resting on the seat of the chair in the space between his legs.
His eyes fluttered closed, and his hand reached up to the back of her head, pushing her closer. His other hand went to her waist, pulling her forward onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, mouth parting to let her wet tongue run against his bottom lip.
He let her in, and couldn’t help a moan escape from his throat.
Rin chuckled into his mouth—he could feel her smile. A hand went to his chest, trailing down to his stomach, and kept edging further down…
Len pulled away for a breather, stopping her hand before it could wander anywhere else. They were still in the music room. Making out. He was not about to get to third base with her in a classroom.
She was red down to her neck, lips glistening wet and swollen. Her breath was hot and fanned his cheeks.
“What,” he said to her, still utterly confused about what had just happened.
Rin pressed her forehead against his. “You know, I was only kidding when I said you wouldn’t get to see it on me.”
It was like his head had been stuffed full of cotton buds. Her voice was muffled. He was dazed. “See what on you,” he mumbled, not quite catching on.
“The lingerie,” she said with a laugh. “If you’d asked, I wouldn’t have said no.”
His face was warm. His lips tingled. “Oh. Oh.”
“I thought you just weren’t interested. In me, I mean.” Her hands moved to his shoulders, her mouth getting closer to his once more.
“What about the whole brother thing,” he blurted. She pulled away, surprised. The mood died a little. He licked his lips, craving more. “You know… uh. You made it seem like you really weren’t… into me, with that.”
Rin looked away. “Um… well. It sounds weird. Gross, actually. You know. I just… had it in my head we weren’t going to get any closer. That you just wanted to stay friends. But I… wanted to be more than friends. I guess, the brother thing was all me trying to… make us more than friends. Even if it was in the complete opposite direction I wanted to go with our relationship.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh. Yeah, that’s very weird, Rin.”
She slapped a hand against his chest, embarrassed. “Shut up. I was desperate. Really desperate. I just wanted to feel closer to you.”
Len couldn’t help but smile at her words. It was cute. Albeit strange. And gross.
“Anyway,” Rin said. Her face was closing in again. “Since no one else is here, wanna skip club and come to mine?”
Wow. She was really. She wasn’t even holding back just a bit.
Len nodded. Of course he did. It would be crazy if he didn't. Why did she even ask. He was basically her bitch.
She kissed him on the mouth again, and he let himself melt into her embrace.
Well, that went a whole lot better than expected.
Len was sitting on her bed later that afternoon, shooting some texts off to Kaito, Miku and Meiko to let them know: mission accomplished ;). He then turned off his data, knowing too well they’d spend the rest of the evening blowing up his phone, and—well.
He had better things to attend to.
Rin padded into her room with a tray, balancing two glasses of orange juice and a bowl of assorted snacks. She kicked her door closed behind her and set them aside on her desk.
“So everyone knows about your crush, huh,” she said, leaning against the wall to yank her socks off.
Len watched shamelessly as she lifted her leg, catching a glimpse of the short-shorts she had on underneath.
God damn it, Rin.
“I was on my knees trying to figure you out,” he said. “Like, of course I confided in them—you were taking me into lingerie stores and then calling me your brother.”
Rin grinned, tossing her socks into the corner and walking over to sit next to him on the bed. “Look, I get it. I’m all over the place—I know. I’d probably do the same if I were you.”
Len rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Rin. I was adamant you had no interest in me.”
“Well, you’re wrong.” She reached up to start unbuttoning her shirt. “I’m very interested in you.”
He watched her, the skin on his face turning a dark shade of read. “What are you—what are you doing?”
“You want to see it, right?”
“Want to see what?” Your boobs?
Rin stopped to give him this look, but then continued. He caught a glimpse of a familiar material, peaking through. Oh. “The lingerie, you half-baked cookie.”
Len swallowed, trying to keep his cool. “Of course I do.”
She shouldered off her shirt. His eyes went as wide as saucers.
hunter x hunter thotz so far
soooo ruth and i started watching hunter x hunter woohoo finally! we’re like 10 or so eps in so i decided to collect some thots below on what i think so far (i havent rlly been spoiled so im interested to look back on this once ive watched more)
first off i love gon sm, hes immediately so endearing...hes just a baby!!!! just a little baby boy!!!! hes just so cute and good, im so not ready for him to get put thru the wringer later on as ive vaguely heard happens
the first few episodes were really fast paced which i enjoyed and thought was for the best. the characters came thru really strongly and i feel like we heard juuuust enough about the setting, premise, and what a hunter is
i wasnt expecting leorio and kurapika to show up in the FIRST EP lmao that surprised me. i love so much how the three of them like IMMEDIATELY became a family unit in like 3 eps lmaoooo it was like ok here are 2 parents and their son bam. also leorio and kurapika having a showdown on the boat (which didnt end up happening) was a wild ride
i have like zero fucking idea what a hunter is and the more they attempt to explain the more confused i get. its honestly kind of hilarious how little sense it makes. to be clear this doesnt detract from my enjoyment of the show at all (if anything it adds to it)
oh my god fuckgin hisoka is the worst he hasnt done much but i hate him so much already. good villain writing/design so far, hes so hateable
ruth every time hisoka shows up: WE HATE UR PUSSY BIIIITCH
the character design in this show is....a lot lmao. ruth and i decided its a cross between soul eater, jojo, and one piece in terms of aesthetic. the designs are certainly unique and so many of them are just so ugly hvbjafdbdskgs it reminds me of that post thats like ‘masterpost of jojo characters who look busted as shit’ lmao
i already love this show a lot tbh like the way its structured so far has been kinda atypical for a shounen, at least in terms of fights - we really havent seen a lot of fighting yet. also nen hasnt shown up yet and its reminding me of stands not becoming a thing in jojo until p3 lmao
anyways in litrally ep1 i already loved the 3 main characters we saw...leorio is a wild dude, i love him sm, especially as a fellow medical binch who wants MONEY. like, thats literally me. and kurapika is also wild, like damn they rlly just dropped their backstory in ep 1 huh. like we rlly are jumping right into this
also when leorio said he was a teenager i was like WHAT???? just like evryone else which YEA omfg. i cant believe hes that young lmao. kurapika too
so leorio is one of those 19 yr olds who looks 40 and kurapika is the type of teen who looks like a 12 yr old
and KILLUA i love him sm also....hes an adorable assassin catboy and hes perfect. i love how quickly he and gon hit it off (tiny bfs.....) and how hes just like, this extra as hell 12 yr old with a SKATEBOARD and ASSASSIN SKILLS and then he sees gon and is like guess im gonna fall in love
i gotta talk abt gon again i just love him. hes so polite and cute and kind and good, i just love him...wht a good protag. his motivation is just wild too, hes like well my dad abandoned me to go off and be a hunter (which he isnt even mad abt, what a nice lad) so im gonna do that to see what the deal is
i love how gon (just like the audience) doesnt really know what a hunter does/is and just goes into the exam totally blind lmao. also the fact that his skills seem to include jumping good, being speedy, having the energy typical of a 12 yr old, being a weather sniffer, being nice, and having good instincts/constitution as a result of having eaten random grass and forest shit growing up...amazing.
is this gonna turn out to be one of those things where its like, wow theyve been using nen this whole time without realizing! tht would honestly explain a lot lmao
i really enjoy how like....semi-normal the power levels are rn? while also being all over the place and wack as fucks obvs (like hisoka dissolving that guys arms in his first appearance was A Lot, as well as all the card stuff hes done..). like the part wher that blue guys (evil franky one piece) punches the ground and it leaves a crater and everyones like !!!! wow wtf thats unnatural! that literally threw me off bc that kinda thing is so normal in anime lmaoooo. but i like that thats the starting point bc it leaves a lot of room for power escalation w/out it getting too out of hand
specifially our protags are starting out pretty low on the Shounen Badass scale - especially gon (and leorio, tho i kinda predict he wont be as fight-y? what with him being premed)
i find it kinda hilarious how killua hasnt done too much (aside from murdering those 2 randos in like half a second) despite being so clearly skilled...like when they have to do the 5v5 fight thing in the tower, i wouldve thought hed be the first up cause hes so badass but nope
actually thats what i find interesting - i was expecting all 5 (or maybe 4, we’re in the middle of leorio’s ‘fight’) of the fights to be physical smackdowns but so far nope, theyve been very cerebral. that bodes well, w/how smart the fights have been, bc i doubt the fights will get stale tht way
tho they might be kinda frustrating sometimes - there are times when u DO just wanna see a good ole fashioned shounen beatdown yknow. but we do get enough of that now (and im sure we’ll get plenty more) to satisfy (like kurapika decking fake-franky)
oh also the opening. its so charming and cute and i love the song...its also so hilariously basic and classic - like one of those typical 2000s anime openings where theres stock run cycles of all the main characters and theres a little animation of all the characters fighting together (and that fight doesnt actually happen, its just for the op)
also love that leorios the only one who doesnt fight in the OP, instead getting saved from death by gon lmao. im curious if he’ll end up fighting at all (i assume a little?) and if he’ll use nen (probably healing type nen?)
also i already wanna fistfight ging for abandoning his perfect angel son. also leorio is literally gons dad already, they even look alike wow
that guy hanzo has done basically 0 things so far but i rlly like him already, im curious if thatll change. also sorry for calling u ‘hanzo overwatch!?!?!?!’ upon first viewing my guy
tonpa is str8 up so annoying pls leave u pathetic loser
tho it cracked me up when he and Evil Mr Clean were facing off and starting getting all detailed/shaded and i was like o shit is he actually badass. are we abt to see like a nen battle or st. but no....lmaooo
i found it interesting that leorio didnt really admit to wanting to be a dr at first...hes such a good dude, he kinda just let kurapika think that his motives were superficial and greedy when in actuality theyre selfless
also wanting to be rich can be a rlly interesting character motivation and i love when its done right
oh my god i cant believe it took me this long to mention the hilariously edge ED....like holy shit, its so 2000s, the song sounds like its been re-recorded like 40000 times bc of how bad the audio quality is, or something, idk how to describe music but its hilariously specific in tone and its rlly funny to see shots of the main characters smiling while this screamo whatever plays in the bg....wow.
also s/o to killua for being king of edgy with that ‘tear of blood’ shot
i rlly like how much of the plot, especially the early hunter exam stuff, is moved along simply by gon being a good kind polite boy.
love the fact that he and leorio and kurapika (and later killua) all team up without even saying anything...i love that, most shounen would have them be like ‘che, i cant team up with anyone, i have to prove myself ALONE or my victory wont be EARNED’ or w/e idk. who knows that might happen later but rn i love how they all effortlessly work together (and how they all contribute - without each other they would have all failed at different points)
oh man also killuas first appearence was so funny when he drank a bunch of tonpas poisoned drinks and was like [smirks] tch, loser, im immune to poison. get dunked on. [skateboard away] i love him so fuckgin much
omfg that part where killua looks all shoujo/kawaii and is talking abt how hes gonna kill his family or w/e and gon is just like ^_^? i love they
HOOOOLY FUCK I ALMOST FORGOT, BUT 65% OF THE REASON I MADE THIS POST WAS TO MENTION HISOKAS THEME LMAOOOOO his music being like fuckgin, spanish guitar/traditional mexican type music is sooooo goddamn funny to me for some reason, like the first time it played i was like ok whats going ON with this spanish guitar lmao but then i figured out that its his theme and god thats so funny
hisoka is also so fuckign jojo like he could so easily be in jojo. he and dio would be the fakest best friends ever and would constantly try to kill each other on the lowdown and shittalk each other constantly in private but be super sweet to each others faces. also they would hatefuck. no im not taking criticism bye
i rlly love everyones backstories also, and i find it interesting that weve gotten to hear/see at least some of all 4 of the MCs backstories. theyre all compelling and interesting and i cant wait to dive in further
also calling it now but kurapika is totally gonna get way too absorbed in revenge and get fucked up/disregard their own life (maybe in the style of robin in one piece?) we’ll see but i feel like it aint gonna end well. i could be wrong, i really havent been spoiled at all, thats just my guess
hbahjfbshjf the ep that was called ‘hisoka x is x sneaky’ was SO funny that reads like a dora the explorer ep title
also i had no idea the ep titles were formatted like that w/the x’s and thats rlly funny
ok but the part where leorio - who seems to be pretty bad at fighting - tries to fight hisoka - whose literal first appearence involved him effortlessly dissolving a dudes arms - is so fucking funny. leorio rlly b a premed w/no brain cells....same bro.
also i loved the Cutthroat Kitchen portion of the hunter exam and how not a single contestant was any good at it lmaoooo. do they not have the cooking channel in hxh-verse earth
ok i love how the main characters are all intuitive in different ways depending on their own skills, like how killua can immediately guess that kurapika has never killed anyone before after they didnt kill evil-franky
kurapika joined killua in the Edgy Corner during that part also. like, they both have legit reasons to be edgy, but the shots of kurapika sitting in the darker tunnel part was kinda funny
also killua, a literal 12 yr old, calling out kurapika for being a murder virgin was pretty hilarious
ok also i didnt know that madhouse animated hxh which is rlly funny but w/e i love the animation especially the occasional chibi parts and the facial expressions (like killuas ‘i love murder’ catboy expressions)
oh also when killua murdered those 2 guys and his hand was all vein-y and his nails were pointy, his hands looked like hisokas do...i wonder if thats a legit connection or it hisoka just b getting his nails did
kurapika talking abt how even seeing a regular spider makes them rlly angry was both very sad and kinda funny. kura u have so many issues god bless
kurapikas smackdown on evil blue franky was fuckin dope tho. and the red eyes reveal was SPOICY
rlly love how the individual fights highlights the characters strengths/morals/motivations/whatever....the writing is already really strong tbh
ugh ok ive ranted enough this is a Lot lmao its so disorganized but w/e
basically i love this series so far and im rlly curious whatll happen next. also everything seems pretty chill and upbeat so far (relatively) and i know this shit gets dark and im NOT FUCKING READY.
til next timeeee
Censored and Slightly Refined version of “Three makes a fucking Burrito” I’m using for school (to clarify this is 2k words of agent 24 fluff)
Censor count (excluding minor swears): 8
Three's apartment was divided into four main sections: Bedroom, Bathroom, Living Room, and Kitchen. All of them had their own set of odors, but the Kitchen had the most by far. While the others wouldn't have more than a couple, the Kitchen's got butter, burnt microwave pizza, garbage, burnt cheese, vanilla air freshener, burnt tortilla, T h e S i n k… That's all Three can remember off the top of her head. It's an omnipresent reminder of the fact that she isn't physically capable of actual cooking, or baking, or anything else of the sort. And that's a problem, because she wanted to surprise Eight with a nice, homemade dinner at least once before one of them kicked the bucket. And why not today, she thought. It would only be harder as she got older.
Homemade. That's it. The thing that Three can't do. Her skillset is limited to cereal, kool-aid, and stuff with instructions on the package. Anything else never happened, and that's a problem because yada yada Eight, yada yada surprise.
Damnit, now Three's procrastinating.
Three snapped back to reality and was staring right at her tiny electric stove. It had only two panels for pots or whatever they're called, and only one of them has she ever used. It had a huge black burn mark that's been building up over time that Three hides with a pan whenever the landlord visits. It was probably mostly cheese and ramen juice.
Who was Three kidding. There was no way she could cook anything even remotely fancy for Eight. Not without help from the Bastard™.
Three sat herself on the counter, pulled her phone out of her pocket, and almost called Four before messaging her instead. It would be harder for her to ask questions.
Four: This is already suspicious
Three: I need your help with something
Four: I'm honored, what do you want grumpy
Three: Im going to ignore that
Three: I need help with cooking something
Four: Is it for Eight?
Four: I know you aren't cooking for yourself, you sad little swamp monster
Four: And there's no way you're doing it for anyone else
Three: Well played
Three: Help me or I remove a corner of your head with a brick
Four: I'm only helping because I know you love me :)
Three: I love you like a sister
Three: >10% of the time
Three: Help me
Four: First of all, what do you even want to make for her?
Oh, that's another thing. Three doesn't know what Eight likes. All she had for most of her life was basically nutritious sawdust, so nearly everything up on the surface is fantastic to her. It's hard to tell what she likes more than other things.
Three: No clue, she likes everything
Four: Well, then what does she like more than average?
Four: Gee whiz, Three. Use your head!!! Do you have any more brain cells than your name implies?
Three: If I knew, I would've told you, twat. It's hard to tell what she likes extra
Three: Wait just had an idea
Three: I should make her something she's never had before
Four: That might be difficult
Four: Didn't Eight gain like ten pounds right after she escaped because Off the Hook took her to so many food joints?
Three: Yeah but
Three: Im like 84% sure she's never had a burrito
Three: Shut the hell up
Three: You know just as well as I do that her first burrito better be a damn good one
Four: So a burrito it is?
Four: Ok that's not that hard
Four: What do you think she would like in a burrito?
Three: Probably just bean and cheese or something
Three: Maybe a little bit of hot sauce
Four: Do you have those things?
Three: Hold on I'm gonna go get those real quick
Four: Are you serious
Three: Yeah give me like ten minutes
Four: Good luck
Three checked the time as she dashed to the door. 6:03 P.M. She had exactly twenty-seven minutes to have a perfect bean n' cheese ready before Eight finished clothes shopping with Off the Hook.
Three was fully aware of how illegal it was to super jump anywhere in Inkopolis that wasn't currently being used for recreation (turfing/ranked/league). She was also fully aware of how unenforced that law was. Every other day or so, you would get to see some random idiot land on the rooftop of some random building because they're in a rush. It was Three's turn to be that idiot. Again.
Three ran up her apartment complex's stairwell until she reached the door to the roof. It was covered in mechanical nonsense that she didn't recognize but found familiar after being seen so many times. Three was very confident in her super jump accuracy. Working for the NSS is the reason, no doubt. All those launchpads every other minute… Ever since Three chewed up and spat out and on Octavio, she hadn't missed a single jump. Except for the time she was in a panic and almost got flattened to the road.
Three aligned herself with the closest grocery store, shifted into a squid, and took off. She soared through the air and landed right on the roof of a MakoMart. Not the one modified for turfing.
She dropped off the side and jog-ran around to the front entrance. The automatic doors slid open and Three dashed inside.
It wasn't too busy, being Thursday. It looked to be mostly filled with Jellies and older Inklings. Three was very familiar with the store. She's bought food almost exclusively from here since moving into her apartment 3 years back. She still had almost no idea where anything was because she only buys six or seven things over and over again.
She snatched a basket and walked along the outsides of the aisles, scanning the signs for the things she needed. She knew cheese was at the back with the other refrigerated stuff, she'd get that last.
Three saw "tortillas" on a sign along with other bread and bread-like items above an aisle near the center of the store. Unlike most MakoMarts, this one carried almost exclusively food and a few other essentials. It didn't have to be so disgustingly large like the rest of its locations.
It occurred to Three that she had no knowledge on the difference between the two types of tortillas. She knew that one was good and that the other should be reserved only for the residents of Extra-Hell, but she didn't know which was which. She had no choice. Time was running slim already, it's 6:06. Only 24 minutes left. It's time to call.
Four picked up on the first ring. "Sup?"
"I don't remember which tortillas don't taste like garbage."
"Just get the name brand ones."
Three dropped a pack into her basket and instantly had second thoughts. It was like one of those scenes in cheesy horror movies when Protagonist picks up the object that just happens to be cursed.
"Are you sure? I think they hate me."
"Were they more expensive?"
"Then you're good. Now go get some canned microwaveable beans. You don't have the time or equipment to make anything better." Four hung up.
After Three found all that she needed, she speed-walked back to the front of the store. The place's only downside was the lack of self checkout; talking to a cashier was necessary.
On the contrary, the amount of open lanes was usually more than the amount of customers, so that was a plus.
Three found an empty lane and threw the ingredients onto the conveyor. She started fumbling with her watch before anything even reached the dude about to scan her stuff.
He seemed to notice Three's hurried state and tried to work quickly to match it. Because Three only bought three things (tortillas, bag of shredded cheese, mild hot sauce), the cashier had her total in under 15 seconds.
"927 g, please." Three held out her wrist and he scanned her watch, taking the needed money. "See you again on Friday," he dismissed her. Three gave a thumbs-up and dashed out the automatic doors.
Three ran back around into the alley and super jumped back to the roof of her apartment building from there. She took the stairwell back to her floor and ran to her apartment and kicked the door open. She left it unlocked because:
A. she would only be gone for a short time, and
B. no one would want her stuff anyway.
Three dumped the food onto the counter and called Four. She answered on the fifth ring.
"Hot sauce," she said immediately.
"I'm back," Three replied.
"What.. the hell? You were only gone for, like, 6 minutes."
"Yeah, and Eight gets back in 22."
"Okay, you need to slow down," said Four. "Making a burrito takes less than five minutes and you know her moms are always late. In fact, I'd recommend just waiting for a bit so Eight doesn't have to eat cold burrito."
"I.. fine, you're right. What should I do in the meantime? Should I turn on the stove early? What pan should I- nevermind I only have one. I should rewash it to make sure it's clean..."
"Girl, chill out," said Four. "You have so much time right now. Your pan is clean. Put the cheese in the fridge and wait like twenty minutes before you start doing anything. Then call me back."
Three took a deep breath. "Ok. Talk to you then."
"Now you're getting it. Bye." Four hung up.
Three spent the next twenty minutes mentally preparing for 6:28 p.m. and the events that would follow. It was like preparing for a hard boss fight, except losing wouldn't just mean wasting a few hours. It would mean disappointing her. Gorl. Eight.
And that can't happen.
Finally, Three watched as the timer on her phone hit zero. It was time. She called Four yet again and she answered on the first ring.
"I was expecting you," Four said.
"It's been twenty minutes," Three replied.
"You're an absolute child," Four said. "Turn on the burner."
So that's what it's called. Burner.
"How high?" Three asked.
"It literally doesn't matter. Just remove the tortilla once it gets nice tan spots on both sides."
After a hectic five minutes of preparing a burrito, four more of starting over, and Four's patience being worn thin, Three had something she was satisfied with. She had to admit to herself, it looked good. She wrapped it in tinfoil to preserve the heat.
No more than 24 seconds later did Three hear a knock on the door. "I'm hanging up," Three told Four matter-of-factly.
"Oh, come on!" She complained. "I worked hard to get you here. I'm going to see.. hear the payoff."
"Fine, but shut up."
There was another knock. "Hello? It's Eight."
“And us,” Marina shouted.
"Be there in a sec!" Three turned to her phone. "I said shut up."
"I didn't say anything!"
Three opened the door and Eight was there, flanked by Pearl and Marina. "Hi," Three said.
"Why are you smiling so unnaturally wide?" asked Marina.
"No," responded Three.
"That doesn't even make sense," said Pearl. "What's burning?"
"No I'm not," said Three. Eight snickered.
"You know, you're lucky," said Marina. "Any other time I would do a full-scale search of your apartment, but we have to announce a Splatfest tomorrow."
"She'd also interrogate you detective-style," said Pearl.
"Ah" was all Three could generate as a response. It's not like what they said deserved a better one.
"We'll be fine," Eight told them.
"Well, alright then. See you soon," concluded Marina.
"Be safe," added Pearl as the two ran off.
"Three?" Eight called after a few seconds. "You there?"
"Yeah, sorry," Three said. "Those two know how to get into my head."
"Everyone does," Eight pointed out.
"Soooooo, I, uh, made you a burrito."
"Ooohh! Is that what's on fire?"
"No! That's just what my stove smells like. Here." Three lead Eight to the section of her counter that functioned as a table.
"Tada," said Three with minimal enthusiasm.
"Uh, eating metal doesn't really.. work. I've tried."
"Oh, l need to take off the foil… now tada."
"Ooooooohhhh!" Eight oohed. "That's what that is! I've seen them in commercials and stuff but I didn't know what they were called. They looked good."
Eight took a moment to figure out how to hold the burrito and took a bite as Three watched in anticipation. It felt like one of those cooking shows but completely not at all at the same time.
"It's good!" Eight said after swallowing her bite.
"That's all?" asked Three, slightly disappointed.
"Well, it's warm and it tastes good and it's a little spicy, which I really like, but the crust is kinda weird."
"Crust? The tortilla?" Three asked. And then it clicked. She took another from the bag to make sure. She took a bite out of the tortilla and gagged.
"Haha, got ‘em," said Four through Three's phone.
Three threw the phone into the dishwasher, slammed it shut, and started it.
Get your cousin on Cam👏ille 👏 Des👏mou👏lins👏 asap!!!
@oh-and-this so this got FUCKING LONG my sincerest apologies to anyone on mobile I’m…I’m so sorry
it’s hysterical though
so: me, adoring Camille Desmoulins, vs. my cousin, who knows literally nothing about the man or about history in general!
A: So, ready?
A: Alright, there we go.
N: Honestly…he doesn’t look- he’s not the worst you’ve pulled.
A: :) No, he’s not.
N: Like, we’ve definitely had worse. I’m disappointed in you.
A: [mock offended] Oh, okay! Fine!
N: I thought you could do better.
A: Yeah, fine, give me a second-
N: No, wait! I still need to describe this guy!
A: Alright, alright, it’s fine, we can do both major portraits, I can pull out Boze too. Okay, start with this, we can transition later.
N: Okay, so!
A: There’s a zoom function here too, I’m not sure quite how far it will go….
N: So, his nose is a little wonky. He should get a nosejob. Sorry.
A: Okay, this is the eighteenth century.
N: Yeah, just a little, you know, chop chop, go to the doctor-
A: I’m pretty sure this is the era of bloodletting as a valid form of medical treatment.
N: What? Whatever. His hair? Honestly, his hair’s not the worst. Although, you can kinda see these little, like, short pieces on the side of his face? Looks like a little kid, taking his mother’s scissors, chop chop chop.
A: Yeah, I could see that. I’ll be honest, having studied this man, specifically this man? [pause] Yeah.
N: Where are his eyelashes? Can I- can I zoom?
A: You can, I don’t know how far it will oh jesus. [high-quality portrait, it zoomed in a lot and startled me, okay?]
N: Do- do you see that?
A: Short lashes are not uncommon. I don’t know, ask the painter, it’s not like I have any photographs of the man!
N: There are no eyelashes there. There is: eyelid, eye, under-eye-bag. There are no. Eyelashes.
A: [high pitched] Give me details about this man.
N: Also, his eyebrows are not on fleek at all. Kind of just disintegrates. Like, “Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good.” Um, okay, this man, he definitely works as an actor. But like, community theater. He takes improv classes, he lives in Pennsylvania- no, New Jersey. [imitating New Jersey accent] Jersey, honey. [normal] I can’t do the accent.
A: No, you really can’t.
N: He’s got ears, I think. I can see one…part of one.
A: Probably. [look, he never listens anyways]
N: He definitely, like [pause] unicycles to work.
A: [laughing] Okay.
N: But only on Tuesdays. The rest of the days, he bikes. He’s zero-waste, except he has a drug problem, sooooo. He’s also vegan, but only every other day. Oh, and he’s definitely an Internet troll.
A: [laughing harder] That’s the most accurate thing you’ve said yet.
N: His name is like…Cameron.
A: [pause] That was weirdly close.
N: Wait, what’s his name?
A: Camille. His name’s Camille. [note: my voice changed dramatically here and now I’m wondering if my voice always gets that soft, sad and practically reverent when saying his name because if so? that’s fucking pathetic]
N: His name’s Cameron. And he has- does he have any pets? An iguana.
A: What’s the iguana’s name?
N: Jorge [pronounced as in the Spanish]. Spelled J-G-E-O-U-R-G-J-E-U-X.
A: That is roughly the way he does spell names, I will admit, he’s terrible at it.
N: And there it is. He definitely works in a museum part-time, cause community theater doesn’t pay unfortunately. …Is that a rat tail? Oh no, that’s just part of his collar.
A: Yeah, that’s his collar, he wears his hair loose.
N: Okay….I’m just zooming in on random spots.
A: Yeah, no kidding.
N: Look at those LIPS, BABY!!! [dramatic kissing noises] Wait, why is his nose shiny? Oh, shit, the boba, hang on-
[N goes to go make sure the tapioca pearls didn’t melt again]
A: [calling across the kitchen] If you’re done with this one, I’m going to the other portrait, there’s another portrait. Here.
N: …You know what he looks like? A character from Pushing Daisies.
A: Okay, yeah, that’s fair.
[digression about Pushing Daisies]
A: No comment on his hair in this one? It’s very different here.
N: Oh, his hair’s so bad. Wait, is this the same guy?
A: Yeah, same man.
N: Oh god.
N: We’re recording again!
A: Yay! So, second portrait, this is the man you have nicknamed Cameron.
N: Cameron! Wait, this doesn’t look like Cameron.
A: Same guy, I promise.
N: This is Olga. [Ari starts laughing hysterically] Olga is a woman in her thirties, you wouldn’t guess it, she looks like she’s ninety. She lives on a farm in, like, Norway. Olga churns butter.
A: I swear to God, this is the same human being!
N: No, this is Olga. She churns butter with her brother, Üulga.
A: Oh, right, I keep forgetting he had siblings.
N: Olga is the girl, Üulga is the boy.
A: To be fair, I think he keeps forgetting that he had siblings too.
N: Üulga! Üulgaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. So, Olga. Actually, this more and more starts to look like Üulga. By the way, Üulga is spelled with two “u”s.
A: O-okay, I’ll figure out how to fit that in somewhere.
N: You’re gonna have a fun time typing this up.
A: It’ll be a mess! I love it.
N: Okay, Olga! Olga has a computer from the 1990s, and it only works with a bicycle.
A: You’ve established a connection between this man and bicycles, then.
N: Oh yeah, Cameron! I forgot about that.
A: It’s the SAME HUMAN BEING, I promise you!
N: Does he like bicycles?
A: I have no idea.
N: Olga’s trying to grow in a mustache.
A: [deep breath] Continue.
N: So…okay, moment of silence.
A: [laughing] For my last remaining brain cells?
N: Stop laughing, pay your respects!
A: I have PAID my respects in TEARS.
N: Okay, he kind of looks like that sticker on your laptop.
A: The sticker of Thranduil from the Hobbit movies with a flower crown?
A: Okay! Newsflash!
N: Will your followers know who that is?
A: Almost definitely, they’re nerds.
N: Wow, okay. [pause] Olga, precious Olga, I’m gonna end this with a scene? Of Olga, like I did the manchild. What was his name?
A: They were, like, neighbors.
N: They were roommates. Oh my god, they were roommates.
A: If you knocked down the ceiling or the wall or something, I don’t remember exactly where, I’m not good at this. Oh, yeah, these are his letters? This book I’m holding. They’re his letters. Oh, wait, any comment on his facial features, because they’re decidedly different than the last portrait, meaning I have no idea what this guy looks like.
[I can’t transcribe the scene because the file’s being weird, but she was basically voicing/characterizing Olga like The Final Pam from Monster Factory. It was a trip, I assure you. Maybe I’ll manage to get the good file at some point - Ari]
A: Okay, wait, here’s my favorite print, where he’s holding the sword by the blade like an idiot.
N: Yeah, he’s an idiot. This guy is named Christopher Columbus.
A: Don’t you dare compare this man to that rat-ass bastard that is Christopher Columbus.
N: No no no, this is Christopher M. Columbus, he killed Christopher Columbus, stole his name and became the greatest leader of Czechoslovakia that there ever was.
A: What a terrifying thought.
N: Can you zoom in on his hat?
A: No, if we were somewhere else- I actually have this print hanging on my wall?
A: [pause] What do you mean, why?
N: …Nevermind. His hat looks like Mario’s hat. It’s got a facial expression.
A: Where?! Where is there a facial expression??
N: There, see, eye, eye, mouth.
A: Those are leaves, and I don’t see! Oh…no, I do see.
N: I wanted to tell you, dear readers, I’ve loved doing this commentary, I’ll do more in the future, I don’t know when I’ll be back-
A: We’ve got time, we’re doing more recordings after this.
N: Oh. [laughs] Okay bye!
alright!!!! here’s part 1 of the extensive (book & netflix) masterpost of all my fave eslaf moments!!!! this is a very long post so i apologize in advance to anyone who opens the read more 😘
this is more or less organized in chronological order but features a lot of me rambling incoherently so you have been warned
let’s start with esmé being massively horny on main and nearly blowing her whole cover in TEE part 1
to be fair, any interaction between them in the TEE eps is valid and amazing and showstopping so yeah
and then we have them carrying an unconscious body!!!! and i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again… this is not the first time they’ve been in this situation. other bodies they’ve carried together may or may not have been dead or otherwise incapacitated
my fave thing is them being absolutely awful together okay i love that. this whole post is gonna be full of them being awful. look at that. look at them. look at jerome’s life flashing before his eyes bc his wife is eye fucking this random stranger in the back of their limo
now, this scene… olaf wasn’t here in the book and i’m extremely glad that they added him in in the show. it increases the sexy factor
a blessing. and the maniacal laughter…….. peak romance
this is probably my #1 fave screenshot of them. soft. very soft
now listen. the most important part. they f*cked in the penthouse and the dance scene in the netflix version was just one massive innuendo for a sex scene no i will not be taking criticism
i mean. god. GODDD
T H E M
+ also this innuendo that netflix somehow got away with is just. wow
next up we have book esmé being horny on main
and then another example of them being shady bitches together… bc evil couples with zero morals who commit heinous crimes together stay together ya know
this is just wholesome:
and this again is peak romance. there’s nothing quite like running through an underground tunnel with your significant other, wearing fancy clothes, having just committed unspeakable crimes
MOVING ON…. TVV
first of all, esmé is Small so jot that down
second of all, i would die for this whole saloon scene, but then again i would die for every eslaf scene so
this speaks for itself:
and then we have esmé thinking with her pussy heart and not her brain and leaving her whole life behind for illegal shenanigans with olaf
i appreciate that the netflix series gave us an insight into how the villains act behind closed doors (even if half the time it’s not at all how their relationship is described in the books but okay i’ll suck it up and deal, at least we have oodles of footage of esmé being extremely horny on main)
next up we have one of my favorite genres of eslaf content: Their One Shared Brain Cell
ex. in this scene it was clearly esmé’s turn
and then we have esmé suggesting violent murder and olaf looking at her like the world’s most supportive bf so that’s wholesome
netflix got a LOT wrong but i really need to send them a thank you card for the innuendos
this isn’t even subtle, his hand is on her ass
and then we have Couples Murder again. love that. nothing quite as romantic as killing an old friend and then going upstairs to f*ck and then cuddle on some shitty fold out sofa or whatever
i don’t even know who has the brain cell in this scene. maybe the brain cell was taking a break
and these…… i need to print these out and carry them in a locket and tell people those are my biological parents. look at them having fun
this post is gonna be extremely long because as you see, every eslaf scene is my favorite eslaf scene.
i mean. look. look at them. UWU
and once again we have olaf using the forbidden L word… i’m just saying. there’s definitely some sort of feelings there. at least 1 (one) feeling between them
nothing screams romance like buying your gf a dangerous weapon huh
and then complimenting her shooting skills
and we were rudely robbed of them on a motorcycle together, with esmé disregarding safety regulations, and putting a label on their relationship (which netflix olaf allegedly isn’t a fan of or whatever)
ya know as i’m typing this i’m realizing just how long this post is gonna be….. i’ve only covered 2 books so far…… i’m so sorry
this is random but i’m a big fan of how handsy esmé always is. she always has her claws on olaf 24/7 all the time
kidnapping people together ~just couple things~
and this is just them sitting in a room together but naturally it’s one of my fave eslaf scenes because they’re sitting in a room together
i mean let’s be real, they could be yelling at each other and it’s still gonna be on this list. they’re always 0.04 seconds away from murdering each other and you know what, i support them
next up we have an iconic cinematic parallel:
and then some more Couples Kidnapping
and we were ROBBED of this line
and then we have olaf being a supportive bf again
so i’m gonna take a moment to be fake deep now: olaf clearly doesn’t mind esmé’s whole Fashion thing and whatever their breakup is caused by later on, it sure af isn’t her outfits. “i’m tired of having a gf obsessed with fashion” is a fake excuse, they were just frustrated at everything and everyone by the events of TPP and took it out on each other thx bye
here we have another example of esmé’s turn on their shared brain cell:
and then more wholesome content (i mean, yeah, they’re in the middle of a kidnapping scheme right but for them it’s wholesome)
and then interactions like these… peak romance
fake deep time AGAIN: people often criticize this ship bc olaf has a tendecy to leave esmé in burning buildings and i’m like. okay, in the hotel they were broken up so it’d be illogical for olaf to interrupt his scheme to worry about his ex-gf whom he was NOT on good terms with at the moment????? so, not a good reason to criticize their relationship bc they weren’t in a relationship at the time
and in THH olaf being like “hurry up or i’ll leave you behind” when the hospital is burning… it’s like sure maybe they do care about each other but deep down they’re both egoists and they WILL focus on self-interest and self-preservation first… is that a healthy dynamic? of course not. are they both fully aware that the other will run and save themselves? yeah, and they accept that bc that’s how they both roll. no hard feelings
this is the only time they sit next to each other in the front seat without anyone between them and i firmly believe we deserved more of this
another Trope i enjoy is esmé reacting to awful things olaf says like
she loses her shit when he bullies children or plans to set a circus on fire etc… and that’s cute
next up this scene speaks for itself:
i have nothing to add. my uwus have rendered me speechless
HOWEVER my main complaint is that the netflix version cut literally all of their soft affectionate scenes and FOR WHAT
or that time they went to f*ck in a tent
we got this tho.... iconic!!!
and more snarky domestic content thank you for that netflix
and then here we have another example of their shared brain cell going on vacation bc clearly it’s not in the picture
and (not pictured) but them watching madame lulu get eaten by lions was their idea of a romantic night out i guess so good for them
AND NOW BACK TO SCENES WE WERE ROBBED OF
like yeah we got a variation of that scene but NOWHERE NEAR AS SOFT
WHERE IS THE AFFECTION, NETFLIX? THE KISSES? THE HUGS?? HAIR STROKING??
like all i wanted was one scene of my batshit arsonist parents being mushy but netflix looked me dead in the eye and flipped me off
and that’s all for season 2!!! i wanted to squeeze season 3 into the same post but tumblr kindly informed me i hit a size limit oops
ok but Tianshan future!AU where all the people working for He Tian in his ~ mafia dealings ~ know he's in a relationship, but they don't know with whom. and they're not suicidal enough to investigate their boss.
they've been told all sorts of things about He Tian's beloved "Momo" but apart from that, there's no info -- Momo is "sweet", and "the best cook in the world", the "cutest when asleep", and owns a restaurant "none of you will ever step into if you like having fingers :)" and that's it.
so, naturally, they've all got their theories on how Momo should be. some say she must be a petite girl with a soft smile. others that Momo must be the Antichrist. another group insists that Momo must be the reincarnation of Buddha to tolerate He Tian on a daily basis.
then, one day Mo Guan Shan stops by the office building where He Tian has established his base of operations while he's in China, since his idiot boyfriend forgot his lunch at home.
and people are shook because, apparently, Momo is a 6.1 ft man with red hair (natural, he insists, because he doesn't have time for that, and He Tian confirms this with a wolfish grin), who frowns so much he's got wrinkles between his eyebrows, curses at least once in each sentence, and is indeed a chef in his own restaurant.
(He Tian is, of course, unbearably smug about it).