Statistical Outliers
Part 7 of drabble. I'm calling it. I'm just writing them long now. Also, this one has Valentino and Angel, just as a heads up. Nothing graphic but a warning. Also a little suggestive because, again, Valentino.
“Welcome to the show everybody! Hope everyone’s been having a marvelous week!”
Vox spun in his chair, greeted to the captive audience behind his televisions. The morning show was a fan favorite, always has been. Honestly, he takes a lot of pride in it. It’s just him for the most part, spouting off whatever relevant nonsense there was for the time. He gave a brief recap of what was going on in the world above, something he had to sneak in from sources that actually went up there. If he got a few details wrong, eh, no big deal. It’s not like anyone can fact check him down here anyways. For the newly introduced to Hell, it was a good way to grab their attention. And that only meant more viewers in the long run.
“Coffee’s done.”
The kid ran over into his monitor room, pulling his attention away from his cyber studio for a moment. The smell of warm coffee jumped up to greet him, and he gladly took it off the kid’s hands. Ah, as perfect as last time.
“Still a crap cup of coffee.” He said. The kid didn’t believe him anymore. He just swayed happily in place as Vox kept taking sips.
He kind of wanted to squeeze the ever loving hell of out him. He settled for roughing up the top of his fur.
“Hey, I just fixed that!” He tried to bat back the invading assault, but Vox had much bigger hands and a much longer reach. There was little he could do.
“Yeah? Complain to someone who cares.”
The programs went on, switching from news, to commercials, to the morning sitcoms. He noticed the kid paying attention to his spy drones’ footage, of his fellow hotel mates dragging themselves out to go look for him again. Alastor noticed the camera. He posed for it, the smiley freak. He flicked the footage away, switching it to the camera just outside.
Velvette was there, pacing. She was deciding how she wanted to start this, Vox knew. Was she going to try for the innocent act? Was she going to storm in raging? She had a hundred different faces for her followers, but Vox fell for exactly zero of them.
Delighted, he took another sip of coffee.
“Don’t say a word.” He told the kid.
Bang! Bang!
“Vox! Open the fucking door, now!” Brattish it is then! Wonder how long she’ll keep it up. “And fix the fucking Wi-Fi! It’s been buggy all day!”
“Be there in a moment, Vel!” He lied. “Still running some new security features into the mainframe. The Wi-Fi will probably be a little spotty for a while!”
“Ugh!” She screamed. “Is my toy in there with you? I couldn’t do my morning post without him!”
Vox rolled his eyes playfully. The kid had to cover a laugh with a hand.
“Yeah, he’s here! Not to worry, I’m taking good care of him until your done with all those projects you’ve got!”
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“Give him back right fucking now! He’s mine! You gave him to me!”
“And I’m just taking him off your hands until you’re less distracted, Vel! If you have more than enough time for pranks, surely you can finish those clothes for Val, draw up plans for the next season, and throw out a few more ads for our products.” Act like a child, don’t be surprised when you’re treated like one.
His sharks have taken a special interest in the kid, and not in the ‘I want to eat it’ way. It was rare that Vox let someone into his space for long. Even Vel and Val were only momentary intruders. Sure, they saw them in the conference room, but they tended to ignore them since nothing fun ever came from the conference room. The kid couldn’t have been more enchanted by his vicious friends. He didn’t touch the acrylic on Vox’s orders, but he was getting as close as he could and ogling.
“Vee, come on! That’s not fair!” She called out, a little more pained this time.
Ah, already switched from ‘Vox’ to ‘Vee’. The Wi-Fi thing must really be bothering her.
“Can’t be helped! Not to worry, the update is almost done.” He lied again.
He gazed out into the sea of his audience. Many of them had those headphones of his, quite a few of them had the eared version. Some odder cases seemed to be trying to make the standard one look like those special editions, but the ears were wrong and didn’t glow right. He noticed though another new fad popping up. Long shirts and oversized hoodies with homemade designs on them, especially running up the arms. In particular, different tread marks seemed to be of interest. Huh. One look at the kid explained that one.
It wasn’t widespread yet, but he could see the pattern before it emerged. Velvette would pick it up in no time, patent it, and let it sell like hotcakes. Well, best let her get started on it then.
“Darling,” Velvette’s voice was much softer this time. He did always like being called ‘darling’. Something about it just rubbed the right way. “please open the door? The prank was just a stupid-”
The doors opened themselves. The kid gave him a look, a joke hiding behind his lips. Vox quietly shushed him.
“My dear, I’m sorry about the wait. You know how absorbed I get into things.” He said, swinging his chair around as she walked up the catwalk. “The update should be done now. Let me know how it works.”
She checked her phone for a second, then brought herself back to look at him.
“You’re not still mad? Right?”
“I wasn’t mad to begin with! Only concerned. Can’t have my best girl stressing herself out and pulling herself too thin. Next time, if you have an issue, just bring it up. You know I’ve got a fix for everything. Especially ways to de-stress.”
With that, he snapped his fingers. His former technician that had been dangling above the shark tank, paralyzed by a complete excess of volts running his system, was unceremoniously dropped. The kid pulled back in silent horror as the man was quickly ripped to pieces. He looked like he was going to hurl. That’s what you get for mistaking his sharks as friendly dogs, he wanted to tease.
Velvette watched with half interest. Then, from the blue, she jumped up and kissed the side of his face. Her black lipstick left an obvious mark, but she didn’t wipe it away. Must be feeling slightly possessive then, he assumed. She pulled him in for a quick pic, being sure to get the kid in the background looking around the room. She didn’t post it though, instead made it her new screensaver.
She was still for just a moment, then she stole his coffee mug and took a sip.
“Ugh, Vee, you have the worst taste in coffee.”
Velvette was the type to go to a coffee store and make the barista regret ever getting up in the morning. If she was at the bar, she was just as bad to the bartender, especially if the drink didn’t look good enough for Voxtagram. His tastes were a lot more simple. Nothing he drank ever made her happy. She still insisted on trying it though, almost every time. Lipstick stains on his mug and his face, she was finally content enough to head out.
“Cutie pie, come on! We’ve got work to do. Val’s whores aren’t going to dress themselves.” She called the kid over with a flick of her finger. He didn’t immediately follow. Instead, a silent exchange happened between him and Vox.
Yeah, go with her. She’s fine.
And he bounded after her.
When the door closed again, Vox took to his chair. Vel’s lipstick added a sweetness to his drink that wasn’t there before. He always liked how it tasted, but maybe next time not in his coffee. Before him, Hell kept turning. The morning news gave way to the TV specials and his reality shows. ‘Yeah, I Fucked Your Sister, So What?’ was showcasing a double feature, two sisters and one guy. He’s not sure if they were going to kill each other first or their so-called man.
Whatever the case, he scrolled through some of his other work in the meantime. A few inventors tossed ideas up to him, hoping to gain favor and get their products endorsed by the biggest tech name in Hell. Most of them were scams, and not even well-hidden ones. He put a special tab on these ones and set them aside. He had a special show for those types, one where he, Velvette, and Valentino sit in hotseats, picking apart people’s designs and ideas. Vox already did all the work behind the scenes. He knew which ones were worth the investment. It made for good television whenever all three of them seemed to agree that an idea was great, and it also was just as good when an idea was so bad that they dropped the presenter into the tank below.
It made everyone feel like they had a shot at getting a contract with the big bosses, if you were willing to bet it all.
And, personally, he always loved watching them squirm, even when he knew he wanted the product.
It wasn’t too long later that he decided that he really ought to check on Alastor’s loser squad. Now that the kid was gone and he didn’t have to see the sad eyes, he brought it back up.
He nearly had a heart attack.
Alastor’s malicious sneer was dangerously close to one of his drones, too close for the camera to survive the onslaught of his dark magic. Symbols and green wisps of evil started to strangle the life out of the little machine. Al’s yellow teeth contorted like a snake and goblin shark hybrid.
“Hello, old pal.”
Vox disconnected the drone. He just completely shut it down, dragged the code from the mainframe. If he even tried hacking in, the whole system would fight to push him out, considering it the same as a virus.
Everything is fine, Vox. You’re fine. Deep breaths.
The kid’s still here. He’s fine. He’s with Velvette.
…but just to be safe.
He found him right by Vel’s side, holding a bunch of clothes in his arms as they climbed down the levels in the elevator. See? He’s fine. Nothing bad’s going to-
Wait. Were they going to Val’s studio?
He spat out his coffee. Vel? What were you doing? You can’t take him in there with all those…well, Val’s people.
It got worse. It got so much worse. Because Angel Dust was there early, already on set and already ready to jump into that sultry little dress Vel made for the movie poster.
Oh, no. No, no! Bad! Very bad!
Vel, do something! Get him out of there! Wha-! No! Don’t just walk away! That dime store whore doesn’t not need your attention as much as the kid does right now!
Vel walked off to dress the girls, leaving the kid holding a great big pile of clothes, in the middle of Val’s set. Angel Dust looked like he had the wind dragged from his sails. Even the makeup could only do so much to cover up too many sleepless nights. He dragged his feet and sat down in his studio chair, a sigh ripping from him.
“You know, I really wish on days like these that I wasn’t trying to stay sober.”
Apparently, those big ears weren’t just for show. Despite everyone else in the room, and the smooth music, and the re-wind of Val and his director’s cut of the film, the kid lit up.
“Angel?”
The spider reacted like someone just shot something hard straight to his brain, like he might be concerned he was going crazy. All eight eyes sprung wide as the kid put the clothes down on a nearby loveseat.
“Drift! Oh my God! You’re alive! Holy shit!” He leapt up, arms open wide to grab him.
Panic leapt into his chest. He didn’t know the specifics of Val’s deal. Did it only apply if Vox handed him over? Did it only mean they had to ‘try’ to find the kid? What did he specifically mean about the return policy? There were too many ‘ifs’. Far too many for Vox to let this go any further.
He tore into the wires, moving as fast as possible. Lightning could move almost as fast as light could. Even following the current, Vox made it in more than enough time to rip right out of the nearby camera and directly in between the two of them.
All around, everything buzzed. The lights flickered. His rush left a small wake of rumbling sound, echoing with the acoustics of this place. He kept a smile plastered to his face, but anyone could tell it was more of a threat.
Angel, surprisingly, jumped straight from shock to rage.
“You motherfucker-!”
“Now, now.” Vox started. “Let’s not do or say anything you might regret.”
“Ah, Angelcakes! I see you’ve met our newest little pet project.” Val sauntered over from his director’s chair, stepping up behind Vox. His four arms dipped down. Two of them grabbed the kid by the shoulders, keeping him snugly in place. The other two played with his face, grabbing his muzzle much too hard and forcing him to look up at him. “He’s just adorable. The perfect little plaything.”
The kid was shaking. He couldn’t struggle from Val’s grasp, and he’s not even sure how much he could breath with Val holding his face like that. Worse, how Val had said that. Even to Vox, it sounded wrong.
Which is so weird, because he knew that Valentino had no interest in kids, ever. Not because he was bothered by it or something, but more so because kids weren’t ‘sexy’.
That didn’t change the fact that, that had creeped the fuck out of Vox.
And if it had creeped Vox out, he can only imagine what Angel’s mind jumped to. Soul contract be damned, Angel looked ready to tear Val’s face off.
“If you touched that kid, I swear to god-”
“Val.” Vox interjected. His new speakers drowned out any other sound in the place, including the rest of Angel’s little rant, just in the nick of time. “A word. Alone.”
Valentino was a little too pleased with himself. He put the kid down slowly before directing Angel back to the set. The whisp of smoke formed a chain for a second, tethered to the spider’s neck.
“Sit right there and don’t move. I’ll be back in a minute.”
While Val was doing that, Vox leaned down to the kid quickly.
“You okay?”
“He can’t do that to Angel.” He argued, coughing as he wrung his hands by the harsh lines now imprinted on his neck.
“He can do whatever he wants to Angel. He owns him.”
“That’s not fair-”
“Fair or not, Angel’s an adult. He made his own decision.” Did he really believe that? Sort of, consent was always questionable with addicts. “But if you don’t want to get him or yourself into worse trouble, don’t move. Don’t go to Angel. Just stay right here until I get back.”
It destroyed him on the inside, Vox could see that. All he wanted to do was run over and check on his friend. But, thankfully, it seemed like he trusted Vox’s judgement enough to heed his warning. He stayed still, tail pulling between his legs as the surrounding employees just seemed to notice what was going on.
Vox gestured for Val to follow him to Angel’s dressing room. It was mostly soundproof, for obvious reasons, which made it ideal for what Vox had in mind. Val strolled in, but not before giving one last look between the two hotel mates. It made Angel’s skin crawl again.
“What is it, Vox? Can’t you see I’ve got things handled?”
Handled? That was what he counted as ‘handled’?
He slammed the door shut behind him, shocking Valentino.
“Oh, Val. What do you think you’re doing?”
Reflexively, the moth backed up a bit. His antenna flicked in alarm. Vox could be scary when he was angry. And when he was truly pissed?
“I was…I was…” The words seemed to die on his tongue for a moment. “I was securing an asset. I want Angel back and you’re getting too attached to that brat and-”
“You want Angel back?” His voice warped as he stepped too close to Val, where he had no room left to back up. “Is that really what you want?”
“Um…yes?” He sounded uncertain now.
Vox’s teeth bared too wide to seem friendly.
“No, Val.” He said, his voice coming back down. “You don’t want that.”
“Yes, I-!”
He grabbed his collar, pulling him down to Vox’s height for the time being.
“No, you don’t. You don’t want to force him back like that. You want to prove him right? That the only reason he is here was because he had to be? No. He should want to come back to you.” His harsh grip turned softer, claws combing through and dancing towards the line of his neck. Val gulped.
“You want him on his hands and knees. You want him begging to be back in your arms.” While his one hand teased, and plucked the first button off Valentino’s shirt, his other hand wrapped around. He dug into the flesh of his back, just by the base of his spine. Val squeaked and dragged himself closer.
“But…but the kid-”
He chuckled.
“Were you worried I forgot about you? You?” Vee tower was his plaything. It was all an extension of him. Like an arm, he could twitch the nerves to pull as he pleased. Holographic screens played across the walls. The whole room beamed with light, before flicking to different scenes.
Valentino posing for a shoot. Valentino with blood on his hands and fresh gun smoke in the air. Valentino stretched out across his lounge, counting his money. Valentino laid out on Vox’s sheets, inviting him over with a lick of the lips.
“You’re a star, Val. My star. You think there’s ever a moment I’m not watching you? You think that there’s another soul in this decrepit place as intoxicating as you?”
Valentino eating his chocolates a little too slow. Valentino ruthlessly tearing apart a rival. Valentino dancing around the room in the morning wearing Vox’s robes.
“There’s no one like you, Val. And there’s no one that can take my gaze off you.”
He pulled down, dragging him into a dip. Instinctively, Val’s legs flew up to wrap around Vox. His whole body shuttered with delight as poison dripped hungerly down his face.
“Oh, you’ve ruined me.” Valentino said, almost groaning. Vox knew he’d be thinking about this and only this for the rest of the day. His arms interlocked around Vox’s neck.
“Not yet. Maybe tonight. But I don’t want to hear any more nonsense about me not keeping my eyes on you.” Vox teased.
The way Val was looking at him now, the minute they started making out no other work would be achievable today. And, if Vox had it his way, Val wouldn’t be able to walk afterwards.
“Now, we really have to do something about yours and Angel’s new deal.”
“Oh, screw that. He can come back when he begs for it.”
That’s exactly what Vox wanted to hear.
…
Composing himself to look somewhat professional was harder than he expected. Val had messed up his jacket in his pursuit for purchase on his back. He’d also messed up his bowtie, something he’d unfortunately neglected to notice until after the kid gave him a funny look.
“Angelcakes, back to shooting.” Val directed with a wave of his cigarette.
Angel’s face dropped in panic.
“Val, the deal. What about our deal? You’re supposed to give the kid back!”
“Correction.” Vox interrupted. “The deal was if I found the kid, and I gave him to Val to give to you, then you’d come back to work, fulltime.” He went over the specifics with Val right before walking back in. He was a stickler for wording. “And I don’t feel like handing him over to anyone.”
He walked up behind the kid and, purposefully, put his hands on his shoulders a little tight.
“I think I’ll keep him.”
The spider’s eyes all focused on Vox, fury rising in his throat.
“You think that I’d just let that happen? Oh, Smiles has been wantin’ an excuse to knock your head off. Just wait till I tell ‘em.”
“Nobody is telling anyone, anything.” Val mentioned.
“Oh yeah?” Angel challenge back.
“Oh, yeah.” Val confirmed. “If you try anything, there won’t be a kid left to rescue, Angelcakes.”
The kid was being so well behaved, mouth zipped tight. Angel could assume from what Val said that Vox had his contract, and the kid’s attitude only played into it. Was it worth the risk of the kid getting his soul ripped apart?
Angel’s face fell.
Yeah, didn’t think so.
Then, surprising Vox, the kid ran over and grabbed Angel in a hug.
“It’s okay.” He swore. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”
A few tears slipped out Angel’s face, especially when they had to let go. Vox snapped his fingers, and the kid ran to his side again.
“We’re leaving.” He said. If Vel wanted him back, he could pick him up from Vox’s room again. Val blew him a kiss as they walked back into the lift.
When the doors closed, a weight pulled off his shoulders.
“Thank you.” The kid looked up at him, and odd truthfulness to his words that shook something in the core of Vox’s head.
“…for what?”
“For saving my friend. I’m not…it’s not worth the price he’d have to pay.” He pursed his lips. “And he never would’ve let me go unless you made him. So…thank you.”
Despite himself, a grin pressed to his face.
“I didn’t do it for him. Maybe I’m getting used to the annoying buzzing sound of your voice. It’d be a shame to get rid of it now.”
Oh, fuck me. The kid was happy now. Cuteness aggression was a bitch. He kinda felt like squeezing him until he popped.
“I like your voice too.”
He grabbed his muzzle and playfully closed it.
“Shut up, kid.”
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