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#zero: fever epilogue
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ATEEZ Theory TidBits Ep 11 - What did ZERO: FEVER Epilogue contribute to the storyline?
ATEEZ’s ninth album, made up mostly of their KINGDOM songs (with Mingi added of course), and a little twist. It was released just before Christmas in 2021, after the FEVER eXtended edition concert. It was also the final album in the FEVER series.
In this post;
Materials included in the album
Additions to the storyline
Track breakdown
Reactions from the fandom
Important motifs and storyline elements which were added
My perspective on the storytelling (from a screenwriting kid)
Quality of the album
Other important things to note
Conclusions
There were only like 2 new songs, so surely there’s no storyline here, right?
Bwahaha, jokes on you, haven’t you noticed that the smallest ATEEZ albums are the ones with the most storyline? And this one is probably the most drastic examples of that. An album noone expected, mostly full of songs they’d already performed, and yet with a completely different vibe, in a way that completely recontextualised the whole storyline (or at least, if you like to believe my old version of the storyline which may or may not be fully accurate).
A fitting conclusion to the FEVER series.
Full discussion below the line.
Materials included in the album
Only the particularly important things, not the random, daily content that groups put out as part of their... existence. Everything ATEEZ does have some references or relevance to their storyline, but that doesn’t mean that all ATEEZ storyline content is created equal.
Album - physical, with three versions, including the Diary version
MVs - Turbulence, The Real Heung Ver.
Dance practice/choreo videos, or other performances, for ‘The Real,’ and ‘Turbulence.’
The regular contents; teasers, reaction videos, vlives and so on.
Logbook roughly 80-88
Additions to the storyline
Well, less additions and more recontextualisations. As I write this, I am in the process of rethinking my perspective of the ATEEZ storyline, and FEVER Epilogue is the kind of album that is more about specific details than overarching plot details. But I’ll talk about what I used to think. Whether or not what I write below is disproven or not... we’ll find out. 
‘The Real’ is at the beginning of the FEVER storyline, where the boys come together from different backgrounds to go against the government. It also foreshadows their conflicts across timelines. ‘Turbulence’ is similar to ‘Twilight’ - focused on the shift from dark to light, only, ‘Turbulence’ goes in reverse - it is the dusk of FEVERteez, not the dawn of Treasureteez. It also shows why they fell apart - they literally grew further apart as individuals. Teamwork makes the dream work, you know? Then we have the KINGDOM tracks - Wonderland, Answer, and Wave Overture. These tracks were so interesting to me - they used (mostly) the original TREASURE-era lyrics, but the performances on KINGDOM completely recontextualised them. 
See what I mean about the recontextualising? 
WAVE is a bright song with darker meaning, nonetheless bright and happy. But ‘WAVE: Overture’ is the aftermath of a battle that ATEEZ have lost - Hongjoong is barely holding them together, but they get back up again and are ready to fight again. Which version of ATEEZ is it? HALAteez? FEVERteez? Treasureteez? You choose, the message is the same.
WONDERLAND is originally about the group continuing their journey after the setbacks of One to All, and included lots of details about their relationship with HALAteez. But in KINGDOM, WONDERLAND becomes an epic pirate ballad as the group fights a kraken, the ‘miniboss’ before the actual boss of the Guardians. They are nearing the end of their journey. ‘Answer’ is initially the resolution of the Treasureteez storyline (to an extent), where they reach a truce with HALAteez. But in KINGDOM, ‘Answer’ is the epic conclusion to the HALAteez-Treasureteez storyline, the literal aftermath of the original ‘Answer,’ where the two groups come together to defeat the Guardians. There is a massive battle, with memories of their past journeys, and, in the end, HALAteez sacrifice themselves to defeat the Guardians. A similar idea to the original, but a continuation of the storyline.
So it’s a nice end to the HALAteez-Treasureteez storyline, but where does it all sit in relation to FEVERteez and THE WORLD? I ain’t so sure, but we’ll find out as they keep releasing more.
Track breakdown
Turbulence - Depressing and beautiful dusk of HALAteez - it is now too late to prevent the downfall of HALAteez.
The Letter - A combo of ‘Thank U’ and ‘From’ - aka amazing lyrics.
Still Here Kor. Ver. - Vibes but in Korean this time.
Be With You - Snow, spring, and love.
Better Kor. Ver. - Recovering from depression, in Korean this time.
The Real Heung Ver. - The Real but extra gangster this time.
WAVE Overture - ‘WAVE’ but amp the horror elements up to 1000.
WONDERLAND (Symphony No. 9) - Hongjoong is obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean. 
Answer: Ode to Joy - Epic battle and Hongjoong’s acting skills + Jongho’s vocals.
Outro: Over the Horizon - HALAteez/FEVERteez have been defeated, and they will keep going (in Treasure era).
Reactions from the fandom
It was a very unexpected album, so soon after both their last album and their anniversary. But it was very popular and well-received. The Real is a song that many people like, from all sections of the fandom, and we were delighted to see the songs from KINGDOM, now with Mingi, as they had always been intended. And maybe this was why this album was largely made up of KINGDOM songs - Mingi had always been a part of them, so they weren’t actually whole on the show. It was very hype, let’s say that. And especially so, since many fans had been brought in by Deja Vu, so were excited to see this mysterious album!
Important motifs and storyline elements which were added
Whatever the hell the ‘The Real’ MV was
Added on to the school concept from INCEPTION
The thunder thing in The Real
The boys being split into pairs (rip Yeosang and Mingi who are alone)
The runways
Paper planes were brought back
Brought back the Diary Film elements
My semi-professional perspective of the storytelling, production and production values, etc
When it first came out, I was a bit disappointed. Sure, it had only been a few months since the last album, but I kind of expected more than the very down-played ‘Turbulence’ and KINGDOM songs, which I’d heard a billion times before. But looking back at it now, it was the perfect, circular conclusion to the FEVER era. As above, we can see that it was less about bringing new things in, and more about returning to the old and referencing previous motifs. Primarily, we had the KINGDOM songs integrated into the FEVERteez storyline, and the elements of the Diary film, such as the eight different lives of the boys and the importance of Yeosang. Each of the songs connected to TREASURE, FEVER, and the upcoming THE WORLD, and they made poignant duologies with other songs, such as ‘Turbulence’ and ‘Twilight,’ or ‘WAVE’ and ‘WAVE: Overture.’ The story of the album was confusing to say the least, especially compared to the rest of the FEVER era, which was, compared to TREASURE, quite hard to follow, if you didn’t read the Diary entries, which, actually, possibly even made the story harder to understand.
As far as production values - well. ATEEZ are growing and growing, and it is obvious in their production values as well. This album brought in some snazzy new special effects, and very good costuming which was both cool and did storytelling. I especially love the design of the physical albums, and the school graduation concept of the Diary version of the album. It’s so cool and just fits them really well. And it definitely helps that Hongjoong’s hair was amazing. 10/10 the black with grey streaks is up there with red and blue Joong. We don’t accept no orange Joong in this house.
I mean, look at this:
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He just looks like an expensive superstar.
Quality of the album
Honestly, considering how unexpected it was, it was AMAZING. Especially the physical versions of the album. The styling was great and it just looked like a lot of passion and effort went into it. Of course, I can’t give it a 10/10 because they decided it was a good idea to bring back ‘A Teenager Z’ even though, now, none of the members are teenagers, and that was always a stupid name for obvious reasons anyway... Why won’t KQ let us forget that? Does it sound better in Korean? IDK. 
And, of course, around this time we also got ‘Don’t Stop’ the Universe single. Which was also of great quality and with a great MV which added to the storyline. 
Other important things to note
This set up the next album very well - ‘Turbulence’ and ‘The Real’ established semi-dystopian cityscapes, and the ‘A Teenger Z’ school motif would come back at the end of Guerrilla’s MV. Which just makes me more confused about the storyline and the different universes, but, I mean, good on ATEEZ for making the albums consistent over real world time, if not storyline time??? Or not. Who knows? 
Only Hongjoong.
Conclusions
I was initially very disappointed to see that the tracklist only had a few new songs. But then I saw and listened to the album, and I went feral for the storyline. If anyone needed confirmation (for some reason) that KINGDOM was canon -  this was it. They did it. They brought back the mish-mash of pirates, modern and medieval, crazy and powerful that was KINGDOM, and this time, with Mingi. 
AKA the album that epitomises ATEEZ’s dedication to the storyline? Except perhaps MOVEMENT.
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kiestrokes · 7 months
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Hi this song has infected my brain for the last week, so I’m here to spread the virus 🦠
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elfaegyo · 1 year
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야간비행 (Turbulence)
Seonghwa,  Hongjoong,  Yunho,  Yeosang,  San,  Mingi,  Wooyoung,  Jongho Ajik nan eorin geolji molla Ah Kkaman bamhaneureul maemdora Ah Jogeuphami mandeureo noheun nangiryuneun uril biteureo Tteoreojine Waterfall Tteoreojine Waterfall Kkeuchi eoptneun Free fall Kkeuchi eoptneun Free fall Geochin barame dachin maeume Sesangeun naege churakmaneul Taekharaneun deut kkeuteoptneun eodumman I kkeute…
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discographyateez · 1 year
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8TH MINI ALBUM
ZERO : FEVER EPILOGUE
San 1
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iamfanfan · 2 years
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@微博
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srirachaz · 1 year
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finally finished listening to ateez’s entire discography! including japanese and english versions and every single remix of a song they released. ask me my opinions, always happy to share
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marievllr-abg · 2 years
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IT’S FINALLY HERE!!! MY VERY FIRST ALBUM AHHHHH!!!
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ateezjeongyunho · 2 years
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220511 universe fns
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tattoos-and-ballgowns · 4 months
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Kpop mutuals: I am devising kpop greeting card ideas to annoy my terribly dear friend and soon-to-be ex-manager. My deadline is Sunday.
Current ideas include:
Have a totally saxy Valentine’s Day!
You’re a great mom seven days a week! (I’m SUPER proud of that one)
Happy birthday, make a wish!
Mazel tov! Now you are ateenagerz
Got any more?
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heyitsloey · 1 year
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I've finally brought more than 1 kpop album (after 5 years since getting my first one) and IT CAME WITH STICKERS LETS GOOOO
Thank you ateez album
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kpop2eu · 2 years
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Ateez 420 Postcard LomoCard Sticker Set #Ateez #Hongjoong #Seonghwa #Yunho #Yeosang #San #Mingi #Wooyoung #Jongho #zero #fever #epilogue #kpop #kpopnews #kpopalbum #kpopcz #kpopsk #kpop2eu #kpopedit #kpopfans #kpoplovers #kpopcollection #kpopfff https://www.instagram.com/p/CebWsm0KTJY/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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moon-palaces · 2 years
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yixinghoneybee · 2 years
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youtube
youtube
ZERO : FEVER EPILOGUE by ATEEZ 🥰
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discographyateez · 1 year
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8TH MINI ALBUM
ZERO : FEVER EPILOGUE
San 2
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xuseokgyu · 1 year
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Silly Little Boys on their Silly Little Shoot a.k.a Zero: Fever Epilogue Jacket Making Film
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lambtotheslaughterr · 1 month
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When The Bough Breaks : Finale
A Rafe Cameron Mini Series
[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]
WC: 3.8k
Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics
PART NINE | MASTERLIST | EPILOGUE
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            You didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror. She stared back at you, her hair dolled up, light make-up on her face, & an engagement ring on her finger. Who was this person?
            The dress you wore was enough to your liking, but you loathed what you were wearing it for. It’s been a month since you last saw Moses, since you told him you wanted a divorce. The rest of that night seemed like a fever dream. You still had a hard time believing it was real. But it was. The person who slept next to you every night since, who fucked you awake & fucked you to sleep, who moved you into a new house—Rafe Cameron, your husband to be.
            Today was your engagement party. It would be your public announcement as a couple, surrounded by people who praised Rafe, but knew nothing about you. Knew absolutely nothing about how you were blackmailed into marrying him. But you reminded yourself every second of every day that it was to protect Moses. If only you could have been faithful to him…
            You moved in a trancelike state as you slipped into your heels, trying to ignore the glint of the ring on your finger. Rafe had bragged to you how much it cost, five zeroes he had said. But you didn’t care. You’d rather chop your finger off. And it was worse that it was Ward Cameron’s money who paid for it. Ward Cameron, a man not much older than you, about to be your father-in-law. Your stomach whirled for a third time that morning.
            Ever since your relationship with Rafe began to spiral you had been painfully sick. You threw up often, felt dizzy when you were on your feet for too long, was nauseated by the sight of Rafe every moment you saw him. You blamed it on stress, discomfort, but something horrible, something much, much worse nagged your thoughts… You wouldn’t say it, couldn’t. You needed to pretend that the possibility of that happening was as unreal as your soon to be marriage.
            Your heels clacked on the hardwood floor as you went into the main room of your home. You were no longer living on the beach, but you weren’t far, not at all. Ward insisted on you & Rafe still living nearby, so you were in the same neighborhood, just now around the corner & more inland from your home with Moses.
            Moses. Tears pricked at your eyes. You had broken his heart. The look of betrayal & loneliness on his face when you uttered the dreaded words. You had nightmares about it.
            “My beautiful, perfect fiancé.” Rafe met you in the main room, dressed impeccably in a semi-formal suit. He wrapped an arm around your waist, kissing your forehead. Then his hand found yours, the one with his ring on it, & brought it to his lips. “Soon to be my beautiful, perfect wife.”
            You didn’t smile. Rafe feigned sadness at your expressionless face, bringing his palm to your cheek, “Did you need a glass of wine for liquid courage?”
            Clearing your throat, you shook your head. Little did you know, being with Rafe 24/7 had sobered you completely. You hadn’t touched a drop in a month, even when you had dinner with his god-awful family. You constantly told yourself that to survive this new life, you couldn’t leave yourself vulnerable. You were on edge all the time as is, alcohol would no longer be your saving grace.
            “Hmm.” Rafe smirked then removed himself from you, crossing to the end table near the front door. He grabbed a thick envelope, holding up for you, “This came earlier. From the lawyers.”
            The divorce papers.
            Rafe handed the envelope to you. You pushed back the tears threatening to fall.
            “I suppose I’ll take care of it afterwards.”
            “Take care of it now, _____.” Rafe gripped your wrist firmly, a warning. “I want to go into this engagement party with a divorced woman, not one that’s about to divorce.”
            You wanted to argue, but over the course of the last month you learned not to. Your fire had burned out, Rafe & Ward snuffed it out.
            “Of course.” You mumbled, pulling out the papers. You had never seen divorce papers in your life, never expecting to either. Holding them in your hands made your world spin.
            There were red tape marks on empty lines meant for your signature. You wanted to read through it all, take your time with it, sit on it, burn it, never let them see the light of day. But with Rafe breathing down your neck, you glanced up at him.
            “I need a pen.” Rafe swiftly produced one from the inside pocket of his suit jacket, “My pleasure.”
            He was all too pleased with himself. This child who had everything handed to him life, getting yet another want of his fulfilled.
            It took less than five minutes to sign all the empty lines. You didn’t care what Moses took. Even if he left you with anything, Rafe would never let you have it. Besides, it was always a joy of Rafe’s to remind you that you were marrying up—as far as money goes. But you didn’t care. You’d take being homeless over marrying him. Perhaps you could still run away…
            As soon as you deposited the papers back into the envelope, Rafe took it. “My dad will take care of the rest.”
            Of course he would.
            But you just gave a tight smile.
            “Now, let’s go. We’re already late & Rose hasn’t stopped texting me.”
            Rafe led you out of your house & down to the car, sure to open your door for you. To anyone else, he likely appeared as a gentleman, but if only they knew. It’s only been a month after all, but apparently your engagement led to Rafe making a 180 in his life. He was now working under his father, excited to provide for you, & only touched coke every now & then. His new addiction was you.
            After a quick ten minute drive, Rafe rolled up to the Kildare country club. Staring out the window, you felt bile rise in your throat. This would be your life now: social gatherings & ass kissing at the country club, Rose’s incessant & overbearing dinner parties, Ward’s hardened gaze never leaving you, watching your every move, & the worst of it all—Rafe being on top of you every single night. As much as you wanted to blame Rafe, Ward, Kildare, this was you who had done this. You had made the grand mistake of sleeping with the unhinged young man next door. Now, you had to live with the consequences.
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            Rafe grinned proudly at you from across the room. He was surrounded by his father’s colleagues & friends, congratulating him on his engagement. You, on the other hand, were sitting at a table near the front of the room by yourself. You had exhausted yourself of social niceties & feigned excitement about your upcoming marriage. The only thing that did bring you any kind of comfort was that other people too thought it was strange that a woman your age, a well-known married woman your age, was marrying someone almost 20 years your junior, let alone a Rafe Cameron.
            One woman, a friend of Rose’s, had exclaimed, “Never thought Rafe would be the one to marry. Was sure he would be a lost cause.” Apparently, you were a savior. Or groomer depending on the whispers you heard here & there.
            Regardless, this wasn’t a place for you, the kind of people meant for you. As much as you wish Sarah had been in attendance, she was nowhere in sight. When she had sworn that you wouldn’t see her at the wedding, you didn’t know that you wouldn’t see her period. And anytime you asked about her, Rafe would give you vague responses. But even if she was there, & she could forgive you, you still would never be able to tell her the truth about Rafe, about Ward. You had lost your only friend on the island.
            So you sat alone, trying to blend in with the wall & be forgotten about. But of course, no such thing could happen for long.
            The chair next to you squeaked as it was pulled back, allowing the person joining you to sit with you. You felt your lungs close up, a typical response for whenever Ward was within ten feet of you.
            “Enjoying the celebration?” He asked, a glass of whiskey in his hand.
            You forced a smile for anyone who may be looking, but kept your voice low for only Ward, “Hardly.”
            “That’s a poor attitude to have, Mrs. McFarlane.” Ward tapped his glass, smiling knowingly to himself, “Or I suppose I should say Miss. _____, since your divorce papers came.”
            So Rafe had given the documents to Ward like he said he would. If there was one thing you learned very quickly about this family, it’s that they were efficient & effective in their controls.
            “It won’t matter what surname I take. I will always be a McFarlane.” You straightened your spine, wanting to now cower next to the patriarch of your newfound family.
            But Ward only lightly chuckled in response, “You’re a Cameron now, _____. That’s something to be proud of.”
            Images of Rafe holding you down every night flashed through your mind, your stomach whirled, panicked tears breached, “We’ll see about that.”
            He leaned forward, an arm placed along the back of your chair, his face was close to yours as he spoke, “Don’t forget about our deal. You fuck up, your husband spends his life in prison. I’ll make sure of that.”
            You turned to glare hotly at him, uncaring if anyone noticed. His face was mere inches from yours, “How could I forget when you remind me every second?”
            When Ward was close up like this, all you could see was Rafe in his eyes. You saw how the insanity gene passed down so easily like it was a dominant trait in the Cameron lineage. You were under the thumb of two men, both of whom would never let you forget how you ended up there.
            “Good.” Ward leaned back, finishing off the rest of his drink, “Now, smile. It’s the beginning of the rest of your life.”
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            It was late evening, the sun had set & many of the guests to your engagement party had left. You felt safe enough to escape to a private room down the hallway. Hopefully, Rafe or Ward wouldn’t come looking for you. The room you were in was much smaller then the reception room. It had one oak end table, two white floral-patterned Victorian style loveseats, & a full length mirror in the corner. On the wall was pictures of previous brides & their bridesmaids in the same room as they got ready for the big day. Your stomach rolled. It would be you next.
            Feeling suddenly winded, you sat on one of the couches, holding your head in your hands. All you wanted was to call Moses, to tell him the truth, to take the risk. But you needed to learn to stop thinking about the what if scenarios & start remembering the threats. Moses would never be safe.
            “So this is where you ran off to.” A familiar smooth voice sounded from behind you. You rose immediately, flattening the skirt of your dress as you turned to face Rafe. His cheeks were slightly, a dead give away that he was quite drunk, & his eyes were hooded with lust as he stared at you standing there caught like a deer in headlights.
            Your internal danger alert system was going off. You began to round the couch towards the only exit that Rafe was blocking, “I just needed a breather. I’m okay now.”
            But Rafe threw out an arm to stop you when you tried to sidestep him. His eyes peered into your own, “No, you’re not. I can always tell when you’re not okay.”
            Then let me go. You wanted to say, but bit your lip instead.
            “Let me make it better.”
            When he leaned in to kiss you, you quickly turned your face, his lips landing on your cheek. Your body began to shake, knowing what was going to happen next. Rafe firmly gripped both sides of your face, forcing your head to angle towards his. Then he successfully kissed you. Your hands grasped his wrists, attempting to remove them from your face but Rafe was stronger. He was always stronger.
            Without your consent, Rafe began walking you backwards, his lips hungrily attacking yours.
            “Rafe, no.” You tried to mumble but he only smiled into the kiss, shaking his head at your weak plea.
            You felt the seat of the couch press against the backs of your knees, just before Rafe roughly pushed on your shoulders to make you sit. He was quick to follow, easily pushing you onto your back against the tight corner of the loveseat. Rafe circled your upper body with his arms, acting like a cage as you struggled against him. Your own arms reaching behind him to try & pry him off, but he was as stable as a river rock.
            “Just stay quiet & no one will get curious.” He said light-heartedly, as if he was sneaking off with a forbidden lover.
            You whined into his mouth when you felt him nestle his way in between your legs, his fingers wasting no time in finding the lining of your underwear to begin peeling them off. Panicked breaths began to leave you, trying to fight off his hands but he was entirely unperturbed by your resistance. As he always was.
            “I’ll make you feel better, baby.” Rafe breathed hotly once he finally removed your underwear.
            Tears sprang forth. Most of the time, when Rafe would have his way with you, you could manage to shut off your emotions, to let your body respond to him the way it regretfully did, but this was not one of those moments. Everything was too real. You couldn’t fake it this time.
            But Rafe didn’t care when you cried, it only spurred him on.
            Soon enough, his gentler handling of you became rougher, more impatient. You heard seams pop as he fought to bring the top of your dress down, exposing your breasts. His mouth latched onto the skin there, sucking it tediously as he reached between you two to begin unbuttoning his pants.
            Words would be wasted so you said nothing.
            His fingers found the folds of your dry pussy, but as his thumb circled your clit & his fingers teased your tight entrance, you soon began to feel yourself grow slick with unwanted desire.
            Against your control, a moan passed through your lips. Rafe leaned back just enough to smile at you, a proud look on his face, “There she is.”
            In a second, you felt a hot throbbing heat in the space between your thighs. Your fingers tangled in Rafe’s hair, hanging desperately onto him as he pushed forward with the head of his cock. You bit your lip hard, trying to hold back cries of pleasure, but Rafe reached up to pull on your lower lip, sticking his thumb into your mouth.
            “Suck.” He demanded lowly. And you did. Your lips closed around his thumb, & it was then that you tasted yourself. Rafe’s eyes darkened & with one harsh thrust, he was sheathed entirely inside you.
            You both groaned in unison. Every time it felt too big, too painful, but the flames of indulgence always took over.
            Rafe gripped one of your hips, his hand sliding to your thigh to hitch over his lower back, allowing him to go deeper. You let your head fall back, your mouth open as he began to fuck you into the couch.
            He held himself up with the other hand, his eyes roaming every inch of your body, watching it respond to his every plunge. The other hand cupped your tit, his thumb grazing your sensitive nipple, sending waves of electric fire throughout your spine. As your body shuddered to his touch, you felt your walls clench around him. A wolfish smile appeared on his face.
            “You’re mine.” He angled your face to meet his eyes. You whined in response.
            “Say it.” Rafe angled his hips just so to hit your sweet spot.
            “I’m…” But you stopped, feeling the waves coming closer, desperate for a crash.
            “You are mine.”
            Your arms, legs, your entire body clung to him as the waves crashed around you. Stars & blurred tears blanketed your vision as you climbed the highest peak. Rafe chased after you, his hand finding his favorite place at the back of your head, yanking you by your hair so he could stare at you, “Now.”
            “I’m yours.” You sighed lowly, a rogue wave crashing into you. Rafe pressed his lips to yours, his hips jerking as he came. You twitched around him, milking him as he filled you with his hot cum.
            His hips turned languid as he came down from his orgasm, his lips parted with pleasure. Finally, he collapsed onto you, your bodies molded together.
            “You will always be mine, Mrs. Cameron.”
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            It was the following morning & you were greeted by horrid sight.
            Rafe stood at the foot of the bed, a paper bag from the local pharmacy in his hand. You sat up, wiping the sleep from your eyes. But your gaze never left the bag he held.
            “A gift.” He walked to your side of the bed, handing you the bag.
            You didn’t take it, only staring at him with concern.
            “C’mon, _____.” He said softly but there was a hint of a warning there. “hat are you scared of?”
            He was smirking at you coyly. Knowingly. He knew. You knew, too. But you wanted to ignore it.
            Rafe took one of your hands, opening your palm so he could empty the contents into your hand. A single pink rectangular box fell out.
            Your eyes flashed to his.
            Please, no.
            “Wh—what?” You were never a good faker.
            “You know what.” Rafe reached forward, brushing stray hairs out of your face before he gently cupped your cheek, “I was in denial, too. At first, I thought it was just the stress from all the changes: moving, divorce, wedding planning—why you were sick so often. I wanted it to be that way, too. I mean, I don’t think I’d be a good father.”
            You gulped, bile rising for the umpteenth time.
            “But then I remembered that you’ve already done this before. And then you lost it.”
            Jesse’s face flashed in your mind, smiling.
            “And I want it for you. For us. You deserve to be a mother again.”
            “No.” You choked out, covering your mouth as the contents of your stomach threatened to spill.
            “Yes, _____.” Rafe cooed, offering you a saddened smile, “And I deserve to be a father with you. A better father.”
            The jab towards Moses made you wince.
            “A better husband.”
            His fingers grazed the packaging in your hand, “Now, more than ever, I know we can be anything as long as we’re together.”
            Not parents. Your lower lip trembled.
            “Take the test.” Rafe pulled back, his soft features turning hard.
            He then grabbed your hand, pulling you as gently as possible out of bed but you knew he wanted nothing more than to yank you out & throw you into the bathroom. But he wouldn’t risk hurting you now, you knew that much.
            But when you went to close the bathroom door, he pushed it back open, leaning against the doorframe. When he noted the fearful look on her face, he sheepishly smiled, “I just can’t wait.”
            Shakily, you turned away from him, your fingers struggling as you pulled open the tabs on the box. Two tests fell out. You placed one on the counter, unwrapping the other. You felt Rafe’s eyes burning a hole in the center of your back.
            Two lines if pregnant. One line if not.
            You pulled down your pajama bottoms & sat on the toilet, letting your hair fall to block out Rafe. But you couldn’t move the hand that held the stick towards you, as if your body was locking down, resisting you entirely. Pee wouldn’t even come out of you. Your body didn’t want this. You didn’t want this.
            But then Rafe stomped forward, making you jump back when he snatched the stick from you. He kneeled, holding the stick under you just so, & the other hand gripped your shoulder. With minced words & a minced smile, Rafe eyed you, “Let me help.”
            Tears flooded you once more & your muscles relaxed out of submission. The sound of liquid trinkling against the porcelain bowl filled the room. Rafe’s eyes never left your face. When you were finished, he placed the test on the counter, his back to it with his arms crossed, staring at you.
            You couldn’t take it anymore. You spun around to land on your knees, heaving into the toilet. Everything hurt: your stomach, your head, your heart. All of the pain was flooding out of you as you puked. Once there was nothing more to give, you flushed, leaning back to wipe the spit off your lips with your mouth.
            Behind you, Rafe moved forward, his hands finding a place under either of your arms as he lifted you. He brought you to the counter, wetting your toothbrush before adding paste to it. You brushed your teeth, cowering in front of Rafe as he stood behind you, his eyes on you in the mirror. Then you took a swig of mouthwash.
            Rafe pressed his chest to your back, his arms reaching around you to hold you. To anyone else, it may look like a loving couple, excited as they waited for the results of the test, but you knew. He knew.
            His kissed the side of your head then, his hands wandering to the center of your belly. His touch was warm, but your skin was burning. You two stood just like that for some time. You had never felt more trapped. As you stood there, waiting in limbo for a result that would change the rest of your life, you then promised yourself that if one line appeared, you would run away. Or better yet… you’d find your bottles of pills & make yourself one last heavily medicated cocktail.
            Rafe let you go then, his hand reaching for the test. He brought it up closer to inspect.
            “Mrs. Rafe Cameron.” His voice sounded muffled & far away, “Take a look.”
            Looking yourself in the mirror, into the eyes of the woman you didn’t recognize, you swore to yourself then. If there wasn’t life growing inside you, you would end yours.
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we are done! (well, almost). still have the epilogue to upload which will be a major time jump. so! how are we feeling?!
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thank you for reading!
beau<3
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