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pepitotheantichristandgaz · 3 years

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Credit goes to my friend CelestialDarkness666 on AO3 💙💙💙

I will be posting on here for her since she isn't on Tumblr. She is an all around nice person and i support her fanfics, especially this rare pairing. (She also is writing a ZimxGaz fic on Archive of our own titled Lost and Found) 💙

Dib's New Neighbors of Doom!

Chapter 2: When Pigs Fly!

Saturday rolled around fast, and Dib woke up really early, thanks to a beeping noise on his laptop. He eagerly grabbed the laptop that sat beside his nightstand and flipped it open.

A message chat with a Swollen Eyeball member awaited him. Dib eagerly clicked the icon, starting a video chat with Agent Disembodied Head.

"Mothman." The man said as a form of a greeting.

"Agent Disembodied Head! Did you get my picture?!" Dib asked excitedly, waiting for his verdict on the picture of his neighbor the Antichrist.

"Yes, we've received the picture." He said, sounding serious.

"And? Am I right or am I right?!" Dib excitedly asked, feeling sure of himself.

"I have to admit, we all had our doubts about you..." Disembodied Head began to tell him.

"Go on..." The young paranormal investigator replied, waiting for recognition and praise.

"And we were right! You really ARE crazy!" He yelled as a parrot sitting on his shoulder squawked.

"Wait. WHAT?" Dib said as his mouth dropped open, not expecting that reaction.

The agent looked at the picture of Pepito that he printed out. "I will, however, give you some credit, since well, you're you. And you're delusional. This is one really hideous, scary looking mall goth... but not a demon, let alone the FREAKING ANTICHRIST!" He yelled as his anger got the better of him, holding up the picture of Pepito as he shook with rage. A horrible rage that was due to the fact Dib had cried wolf one too many times...and now no one took him seriously. Especially in the Swollen Eyeball.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You call yourself an EXPERT?! He's not some mall goth! I saw him manifest a fireball out of thin air! Look at his pointy horns and eyes and his demon teeth!" Dib screamed, trying to point out the obvious in the photo.

"Heh heh. You don't know much about mall goths, do you? They pride themselves on looking spooky and scary! Which is what this young man is clearly trying to do, what with his fake horns and contact lenses. He even went as far as to sharpen his teeth! And as for the fireball, he could have just been doing a magic trick or an illusion with some smoke bombs and you were just gullible enough to believe it." The Agent explained, virtually trying to debunk the entire case Dib brought forth.

"IT WASN'T AN ILLUSION! IT'S NOT LIKE HE CAME OVER TO MY HOUSE TO PULL A RABBIT OUT OF A TOP HAT! THIS IS SERIOUS! HE'S PROBABLY PLOTTING HUMANITY'S DOWNFALL AS WE SPEAK!" Dib screamed, trying to reason with the guy...to no avail.

"HA! This is just like that whole 'the green kid's an alien thing', isn't it?! And when we didn't believe you about him, you started making up stories about Antichrists running around to doom us all so we would help you." The Agent fired back in a know-it-all manner.

"This isn't anything like Zim! He's...WORSE! And I had to save the world so many times from Zim, with no help from you, thank you very much! You're lucky we're not all DEAD! You're like the worst investigator ever!" Dib fired back.

"Well, if that's how you're going to act towards a respected member of the paranormal community, you can go to HELL, where you can hallucinate about Antichrists with pitchforks galore!" The Agent yelled back as he was about to click a button and end their conversation.

"WAIT!" Dib yelled. He had no choice but to swallow his pride and try to beg for some help...even if it came from the lazy Agent who just debunked nearly everything. "B-b-but you HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! He's coming over to my house soon to play video games with my little sister!"

"Oh ho ho! That's what this is really about! You're afraid this freaky mall goth likes your sister!" Disembodied Headed said with a cackle.

"NO! Well, maybe a little. But it's really about him trying to end the world! The Antichrist's arrival is a sign that we're all doomed! And he's probably gonna destroy us ALL! That means you, too! You have to believe me!" Dib shouted, begging for the ignorant man to believe him.

The Agent sighed deeply. "I get it, kid. I have a little sister as well, and she means the world to me. I'd be worried if she started hanging out with a weirdo like that too! Tell you what, kid. If you can get video footage of him using his 'powers' instead of just a picture of him, I'll consider sending you help." He told him.

"Really?" Dib asked, feeling a bit more hopeful.

"Yeah. I'm a man of my word. I doubt you'll get it though. I'd have a much better chance of seeing pigs fly!" He said, cackling as he cut their conversation short.

Dib stared at the blank screen for a moment. "Okay. Video footage...I can do this!" He confidently said to himself.

On perfect timing, a rubber piggy with a jetpack flew through his window, smashing it, and nearly scaring the crap out of Dib. He got up to look out of the broken window.

"What the-"

"MY PIGGY! HE FLIES! GIMME! I NEEDS IT MARY!" A green dog screamed in a shrill voice as he jumped up and down on the lawn.

Dib groaned, already getting annoyed with the start of his day so far. He threw the rubber piggy to Gir, who squealed and continued to play with it.

He quickly got to work, setting up some hidden cameras before his sister woke up, and connecting them to his drives to record potential evidence. He was disappointed that the drives currently needed to be repaired, but once they were fixed and functional, he would have the evidence he needed. After everything was set up accordingly, he went downstairs for some breakfast...only to find a note on the table with his name on it.

"Dib, don't do anything to embarrass your sister.

And don't start calling the neighbor boy a demon or rant about the paranormal.

We need to get off to a good start with these new neighbors.

The last ones wouldn't even come out during the day because of you.

Speaking of which, make sure your sister doesn't rip this kid's limbs off.

P.S. There's a questionable mold in the very bottom drawer of the fridge.

Don't clean it up. I plan on using it for SCIENCE!

Love, Dad."

"You've gotta be kidding me! They wouldn't come out during the day because they're called VAMPIRES, Dad! And why leave mold in the fridge?! WHO DOES THAT?!" Dib yelled to himself. "Crap. I have to record the Mysterious Mysteries marathon today. And stop Zim from whatever he's up to. Oh god! What am I gonna do?! I can't watch him AND save the world from Zim at the same time!"

"Where's the Franken-chokies?"

"AAHHH! Oh, Gaz, you startled me!" Dib said, shoving the note into his mouth and eating it before Gaz could read it. "I think they're in the top cupboard! And you're dressed already?"

Gaz quickly found them and poured herself a bowl of cereal. She was already dressed, wearing her classic black form fitting dress over pink leggings, along with combat boots. "Yeah. I have my new game to play and Pepito's coming over soon."

"He's the Antichrist, Gaz! Why?! Why him?! He's EVIL, Gaz!" Dib screamed, unable to hold it back any longer.

Suddenly, Gaz gripped him by his shirt collar and growled in a threatening manner. "Listen to me, Dib. I don't care if he's the Antichrist or not. I have two games I've been dying to play, but I couldn't because I needed a second player to unlock the later levels. I NEED him." She said, beginning to shake from rage...and desperation to potentially play locked levels.

"ALL THIS FOR VIDEO GAMES?! I could play with you...after I stop Zim!" Dib said.

Gaz scoffed. "Yeah right. You couldn't even make it past level 5 last time. I just want to play some video games with him and that's it. You better not do anything weird to mess up my day, or I'll send you to a nightmare world from which there's no waking. Got it?" She said, directing a warning glare at him.

"Got it." Dib yelped.

With that, Gaz released him. "Good. Mysterious Mysteries marathon is on soon."

"I know. I'm gonna watch it while I monitor Pe- Zim!" He said.

"Whatever. As long as you don't bug us." Gaz said as she stuffed her face with delicious cereal, tuning him out.

A little while passed, and Dib slinked up to his room, turning on several monitors. One showed Zim's Base, the other showed the downstairs living room, and the third surveyed the outside of the house.

"You're crazy if you think I'm just gonna let you alone with a horrible monster, Gaz." Dib whispered to himself. He focused on the monitor with his sister on, watching her set up a wide array of snacks to eat...

"Are you kidding me? Since when does she offer other people food? What is she-" Dib's train of thoughts were cut short when he heard a loud explosion. He turned his head to the third monitor, only to see a mail truck turned on its side, bursting into flames. The mailman got out and started running in fear for his life, all while Pepito happily watched the chaos he created.

"OH MY GOD! That poor mailman!" Dib screamed, pointing at the monitor as he watched the Antichrist, who looked like he was in a good mood, levitating to his front door. "I GOTTA SAVE GAZ! WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S CAPABLE OF!" He yelled, anxiously trotting down the steps as he heard knocking at the door.

He saw his sister was about to answer the door, but before she could, he pushed her out of the way.

"HEY!" She yelled in surprise.

Dib grabbed the nearest weapon he could find to ward off the beast...which happened to be an umbrella.

"YAAAAHHH!" Dib screamed as he flung open the door and pointed the folded umbrella at the Antichrist's face, all while he stood in a Kung Fu stance. "YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE, SPAWN OF SATAN! GO HOME!"

Upon seeing Dib screaming and waving an umbrella in his face, Pepito's once happy smile quickly faded to an annoyed scowl.

One angry Gaz got up off the floor, tackling Dib to the ground, to Pepito's surprise. "DIB! WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT SENDING YOU TO A NIGHTMARE WORLD IF YOU BUGGED US?!"

"GAZ! You don't understand! He blew up the mail truck!" Dib pleaded as he barely managed to point to the demolished truck through the open door.

Gaz looked at the mail truck laying on its side, engulfed in flames. "So?" She said in her indifferent voice. Years of seeing and hearing Zim destroy various cars, people and property, this didn't surprise her at all. "Let's get Pepito's side of the story." She suggested.

"So?! That poor mailman-"

"Almost ran me over." Pepito finished, folding his arms.

"Wait. What?" Dib asked as he and his sister stared at him.

"Sí. I was on my way over here and he nearly ran me over. So I blew up his truck. He's lucky I didn't explode his head right then and there!" He explained.

Dib didn't believe a word of it. Years of fighting with Zim and the vile alien always came up with some excuse or fake reason for his horrible actions. Well, at least he had it on camera so he could replay it.

"You're lying! You're not the first monster I've had to deal with! It's so typical of an evil creature like yourself to just make up an excuse!" Dib screamed in an accusing manner.

This comment only made Pepito angrier... "FOOL! I've no reason to lie!" He yelled.

Gaz actually felt somewhat embarrassed that her older brother was acting like this in front of him. At this point, she assumed he was probably not looking forward to being here at all. And she didn't want that. Not with her video games at stake.

"DIB! If you don't go back upstairs right now and hide in your room for the rest of the day, I'm gonna make you suffer horribly!" The scary sister threatened as a dark aura now surrounded her.

Dib just looked at her as if she was crazy. "But-"

"Horrible suffering." She warned in a low whisper.

"O-okay!" Dib nervously replied, dropping the umbrella and trotting back up the steps to avoid his sister's dark wrath. He figured he probably shouldn't interfere anymore. Not unless Gaz needed him. And lucky for her, he could just watch them both on the monitor!

Gaz glared at him until he was finally out of her sight. She turned around to face Pepito, who was still standing in the doorway. "Sorry about that. He's crazy sometimes."

The Antichrist shrugged his shoulders. "Eh, it's okay. He's really protective of you. I read his soul...he acts like that everyday?" Pepito asked.

"Yes. I always have to listen to his constant screaming." Gaz complained.

Pepito grimaced. He couldn't imagine listening to such screaming day in and day out. "That must be very annoying."

"HEY! I'm not annoying!" Dib quietly yelled to himself as he watched them on the screen.

"It is...welcome to my house." She responded as she motioned for him to come inside.

Which earned a chuckle out of the Antichrist who entered the home and started looking around.

Gaz shut the door and walked over to the sofa and took a seat, Pepito following her and taking a seat nearby.

He looked at the table in front of him...which was loaded with junk food. So much junk food, it could feed an entire Superbowl party. There were bags of chips, popcorn, nachos, pretzels, candy bars, soda, cupcakes and all sorts of snacks.

Gaz gestured to the table. "Help yourself to some snacks."

Pepito's eyes widened in shock. "That's a lot of food." He replied, looking surprised.

Gaz merely shrugged her shoulders. "Eh...not really. If we run out, I'll just order us some pizza or something."

He looked at her in astonishment. She's a thin girl that has the table loaded down with all kinds of food that was more than enough for the both of them, and she's worried about running out?

"Gracias." He told her, smiling at her. This was literally the first time he had been invited to someone's house...and needless to say, it wasn't exactly easy for him to make friends, let alone be friends with a girl. To say that most people were frightened of him was an understatement. But this girl...really didn't seem to mind?

"No problem." Gaz replied as she actually smiled a tiny bit at him.

Pepito fidgeted somewhat anxiously, he fumbled with his hands. "So uh, doesn't it bother you at all that I'm the Antichrist?"

"So glad you admitted it on camera, Satan Spawn!" Dib whispered in excitement in his room. "Man the Eyeballs have to see this!" He said, sending a message to the Agency on his laptop.

The goth girl raised an eyebrow. "No...Why would it?"

He was surprised at her answer. She didn't even seem fazed the first time he said it. She was full of surprises. "Eh...I don't know. Most humans are terrified of me. I can be rather terrifying. Very terrifying." He responded, bragging about it to her.

"Meh..." She said in her usual indifferent attitude...to his dismay.

After seeing her unaffected reaction, he felt overcome with the need to prove his scariness to her. "Okay...I shall prove it to you!" He declared, leaping off of the sofa and standing in front of her. A fiery aura suddenly formed around him as he levitated above the floor. Flames burst from his hands, as the rest of the room grew pitch black with swirling darkness and ghoulish shadow figures, all while he laughed evilly. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

It was indeed horrifying! Especially to Dib, who clutched his chest in a panic attack.

"OH MY GOD! GAZ! I'LL SAVE YOU!" He screamed in a horrific panic, running out of the room to rescue his sister from the demonic nightmare...

"Terrifying, sí?" Pepito asked in a low growl, as he stepped closer to Gaz.

She crossed her arms, unamused. "No." She answered as she watched him like he was putting on a play, rather than a display of fiery demonic power.

Which stunned the Antichrist... "But it's at least spooky, no?" He asked, wanting some form of approval from her.

"No. Not really." Gaz answered. Maybe to every other person on the planet, but not to someone like Gaz Membrane.

"Are you sure you're not even a little terrified?" He inquired, still making flames shoot out of his hands.

"Do I look like the type to be terrified?" She responded in her usual surly voice, placing her hands on her hips and waiting for an answer.

"No." He finally responded as he dissipated the flames from his hands and made the room go back to normal. He sat back down on the couch beside her, pouting.

Gaz noticed this, and while she was now a little amused, she kinda wanted to say something to make him feel better. "I have to admit...that was pretty cool, though."

Pepito perked up after hearing her say that, staring at her. She didn't think he was scary, and it didn't apparently bother her that he was the Antichrist. It was a good thing that she wasn't afraid of him, and it was even better that she thought his scariness was cool. He could get a vague reading on her, but otherwise she was a mystery to him, which was a first. But he knew that she seemed different than anyone else he encountered. And she seemed kinda feisty...which he liked.

Gaz caught him staring at her for a second or two longer than normal. She placed several games on the table in front of him. "Alright. Let's get started."

Dib stood at the top of the stairway, watching the spectacle. He felt somewhat relieved when the Antichrist stopped his scary display of demon power! Except he was now sitting aside of his sister, to his disgust. He marched back into his room before his scary sister would notice...

Pepito looked at the blood and gore on the covers of the games, raising a surprised eyebrow. Most girls (at least the ones he knew) weren't interested in such violent games. "These are all fighting games..."

"Yeah. They're the best kind." Gaz responded with some genuine enthusiasm.

He smiled, content with her choice of games. Yet another thing they had in common. "They're my favorite too."

The goth girl smiled lightly. "Cool... Do you want to play Super Kicky Fighters 12? I wanted to play some locked levels on there and I needed a second player in order to do so." She explained.

"Sure. I had the same problem. I needed another player to unlock the bonus levels on mine but I never had anyone to play with me." He replied, being faced with the same dilemma as nobody wanted to play with the Antichrist.

"Huh. I thought I was the only one." She responded as she scratched her head. She put in the game and handed him a controller.

Dib watched the two of them, as he finally received a response from the Eyeball team. He opened his laptop, eagerly awaiting to show the next Agent. "Agent Dark Booty! Quick! The Antichrist is in my house next to my little sister!" He said, pointing the laptop in the direction of the monitor.

The camera showed Pepito and Gaz sitting side by side...quietly playing their game together.

"Mothman! I've already told you that jokes have no place in the Swollen Eyeball Network." Dark Booty told him, getting irritated.

Dib just stared at him in disbelief. "But I-"

"TIME TO EXPLODE YOUR HEAD!" Pepito sinisterly yelled in a threatening tone of voice.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHAT?!" Dib shrieked as his heart jumped into his throat in pure fear as he looked at the camera. Dark Booty looked back at the monitor as well.

"Nice one." Gaz complimented, actually starting to giggle as Pepito blew up one of the other important fighters in the game like it was nothing. She was actually kind of...impressed?

"Gracias." He answered, feeling content that he was starting to impress her.

Gaz smiled. "You got his brains all over the street. I love this game, but the graphics on the 10th one were actually-"

"Better?" He asked, completing her sentence.

"Yeah." She said, kinda surprised since most people argued that the latest version's graphics were definitely the best.

A wave of temporary relief washed over Dib once he realized that the demon wasn't talking about his sister, but rather the video game character.

"Those kids really love their video games. They develop hand eye coordination, you know." Dark Booty said to Dib in amusement.

"NO! Forget the game! Look at his horns!" Dib insisted, pointing to the screen.

"Disembodied Head told me about you. You should be ashamed of yourself." The Agent told him.

"What?! ME?!" Dib asked in surprise.

"Just because he has a different... appearance, doesn't mean he's a paranormal case. He may dress like the devil, but that doesn't mean he IS the devil." The Agent told him, trying to make a point.

"Except he IS! HE IS THE DEVIL!" Dib emphasized, about to go through the roof.

On that note, Dark Booty was disgusted, and promptly ended the conversation.

"Just wait. WAIT UNTIL I SEND YOU THE RECORDINGS! ONCE I- OH MY GOD!" Dib shouted in a panic as he noticed they were no longer playing the game...

He noticed the Antichrist manifesting some more fire in his hands, holding them near his sister!

Dib tripped and flopped on the floor like a noodle, trying to get up to rescue his baby sister. "GAZ! I'M COMING! I'M-"

Dib was about to run out of the room to save her...until he noticed that his sister started to hold a bowl of cheese dip over his hands, trying to heat it. After a moment she took it away and placed it on the table, the two of them dunked some nachos into it and began to eat.

"Mmm. That is better than using the microwave." She admitted.

"Si. I do this all the time. It loses flavor if it's in the microwave too long." He explained.

Dib continued to watch the two of them, his anxiety getting the better of him as he nearly had a heart attack several times over. But so far, so good. They just snacked, and played video games for a while. One thing was weird though. It seemed like they were actually enjoying each other's company. Which was a first for Gaz, who could barely tolerate or socialize with anybody. And seeing that he's the Antichrist and wants to doom everyone. Babysitting the two of them made him forget what else was on his agenda for today. The poor paranormal investigator was soon interrupted by a loud explosion, but it wasn't from downstairs. He rushed to the window, and heard yet another explosion in the distance.

"Zim! ZIM!" He angrily screamed about to rush out the door. Except he was forgetting one thing. "OH NO! What am I gonna do?! I can't leave them alone! But I also can't let Zim destroy the world! What am I gonna do?! Gaz will kill me if I bother them again! MUST. CHOOOOOSE!" He very reluctantly made his choice. He crawled out the window and got in Tak's ship. He HATED leaving them alone, but he figured they made it this far without any incident. Besides, if Pepito did something really stupid, Gaz might just doom him! He piloted the ship out of his yard, and headed toward the direction of a large cloud of smoke in the distance.

In the meantime, Gaz and Pepito had just finished their Super Kicky Fighters 12 game.

She was impressed with his gaming skills, especially since the two of them were fighting in perfect harmony with one another and getting really great scores. Needless to say, she was now in a good mood. "Wow...That was...fun."

"Sí...that was. You're a really good gamer." He said to her, paying her a nice compliment.

"Thanks...And I know." She responded.

Pepito smiled, running his fingers through his hair. "No. I mean, like the best I've ever seen."

On that note she started to blush lightly, Pepito noticing the pale pinkish color on her face, to his delight.

The purple haired girl smiled at him, getting an odd feeling that was foreign to her as she continued to stare at him. "Thanks...You're actually pretty good too."

Coming from Gaz, that was a pretty damn good compliment. And it was the truth. He actually did have skill, and was a true gamer, to her surprise.

"Eh...I try my best. I've been playing video games since I was a little kid." He told her, as he started eating a cupcake.

Gaz's eyes lit up at that comment. "Me too. Which game do you want to play next? I've got the latest Vampire Piggy Hunter game or-"

"Vampire Piggy Hunter. Also one of my favorites. I'll play." He immediately replied, smiling at her.

Pepito handed her the game at the same time Gaz reached for it, their hands touching one another's on accident. At that very same second, they suddenly heard a loud crash, followed by some loud yelling.

They separated their hands, and looked towards the source of the ruckus.

The front door was blasted apart, and one short, angry green alien marched through her home. He had an array of weapons coming out of his Pak, one of which was a laser, a buzz saw, and a mini cannon, and he wore an insane look on his face...

Gaz growled in annoyance, as her day was about to get crazier.

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