#zoloft posting again

[flowersnax]

I WILL BE IN LOVE FOREVER CAUSE IM GONNA DIE TONIGHT

SO PLEASE JUST HOLD ME ONE LAST TIME

BEFORE I BLOOM INTO A FLOWER OF FLESH AND SAY GOODBYE

#slinks back to my tumblr account again to post this #thinking Very Hard about shadow after i showed my friend dogmatica and he said shadow would listen to it #gods most mentally ill hedgehog #someone give that little man a zoloft prescription #also yeah lyrics from dogmatica by femtanyl #my art #shadow the hedgehog #shadow #sth fanart #sth #sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedghog fanart

[killermchann]

HELLO @monkeytrick tagged me. thank you my Friend............put your on repeat/favorites playlist on shuffle & post the first 10 songs u get except i am INDECISIVE & doing both.

💿:

melvins - boris

alice in chains - frogs

primus - my name is mud

meat puppets - lake of fire

primus again - harold of the rocks

ween - zoloft

WEEN AGAIN - waving my dick in the wind

black pus - 1000 years

at the drive in - one armed scissor

unwound - message recieved

on repeat:

the jesus lizard - nub

nine inch nails - the hand that feeds

unwound - dragnalus

brainiac - strung

kyuss - catamaran

the jesus lizard. Again - then comes dudley

brainiac again. - mr fingers

BRAINIAC AGAIN - fresh new eyes

slug - ex-chest

JESUD LIZARD AGAIN - good riddance

i tag @songsforthedeaf2002 @weirdness-is-good @hannahcheeks @failureinfourbrokenframes do it or dont lol

#txt #music

[shifterglitter]

My Main DRs (ACTIVE)

I was debating posting this for a while, but, I think it will help if I write it down in multiple places.

So I should start off by saying that my current understanding fallows The LOA and Peter.Cawlkwell's explanation of shifting. I have deep dived in to many theories but this is my favorite.

Of course I admit that I don't have all the answers, and if you believe something else that is totally cool. DO what works for YOU! It's your reality. I am not here to judge anyone or tell you how to shift. The only thing I plan on doing here is logging my adventures.

But Peter's way works best for me. To that effect, I believe in quantum immortality, that the 3d is the least real physical plane, and that I AM everything in my multiverse. (Which honestly equates to a "God Complex" , so no hard feelings if you don't want to interact with me. I'd appreciate you blocking me over sending nasty anons though. TY in advance.)

-Vivi

My Main DR is actually an amalgamation of DRs. I assume they will all happen together just as I have scripted them.

I call my Multiverse "Kiss Me Again".

It all started with a love for both Dark Romance men and various fictional characters, but wanting the emotional commitment of monogamy. Then I thought: Well what if I can love the same soul in every DR I go to?

We could spend eternity together like this.

But I didn't want them to have the memories of being with them previously when we meet in the DR. I adore the idea of getting to fall in love over and over again.

That way I can set up any number of my favorite tropes, backgrounds, settings, and appearances in the future and still have it be the same person. In the infinity of the wider universe there is no reason this could not be possible if I assume it is plausible.

IDK if I want them to rember all of there memories after I kiss them, or after I tell them I'm a shifter, or even at all. What I do know is that in my WRs they will have the collective memories of us together.

I plan of exploring this concept for the foreseeable future.

My MV Lifetime starts off by mashing my CRDR "Masked Man" and my ACOTAR DR "ACO Secrets and Sanctuary".

Masked Man is a dark stalker romance that picks up in my ORCR, in fact, I'm already living it. That's right. You heard me. I am IN my first DR right now. This is my DR. The Physical Reality (3D) around me has already started to reflect my script, so I know everything is going just as planned. By LOA, I am here. I am who my consciousness was born as and will remain that person until my natural passing.

In A Court of Secrets and Sanctuary I am Azriel's mate and one of Eris' spies. My name is Lakely there, and I'm a storm conjuror that can talk to a select group of animals. The first "Shift" into this DR will be far more obvious to pick up on, thankfully. I'll be there for a long while before reaching my first milestone with Azriel in our slow burn. When I do eventualy get there I'll shift back here for a while.

I don't want to script too many DRs rn, though to no lack of ideas, because I want to make sure I'm giving each DR the attention to detail it desereves.

As far my my scripted timeline of events go, here is a "short" list of highlights:

- On April 8th at 1pm CT I will being manifesting by LOA and Reya's Reprograming method that I have shifted completly into my Masked Man DR. - I'll go through the next few months exactly as I would before I discovered shifting. I overnight at the airport, walk my dog and cat in the morning once I'm home. Take my Zoloft, and go to bed ready to do it all again the next day. - I have a visit to my Mom & best friend planned later this April and my other best friend is coming to visit me at the end of May. - My Masked Man has been stalking me since 2019, and has yet to see me interact with this second best friend of mine. Whom is a male and rather physically affectionate with me. Nick and I are no longer sexually involved, but who wouldn't love a little misunderstanding/jealousy trope thrown in there for good measure. -To make a long script short: I'm going to be kidnapped. No he will not force himself on me or hurt me at any time. He just want's to "keep me safe." Through the many months we spend together I will find a good moment to tell him about shifting and prove to him that I planned all of this. (sigh, I know. I read too many Yandere fics for my own good. Sue me.) - At some point durring the above I'll make my first shift to meet Azriel. I don't know how long I'll spend in ACOSAS, but I'll know it's time to shift back to my CRDR when Azriel's conscious mind swaps with future My Masked Man's mind. (whom is already married to me.) We will spend the next few hours together until they swap back. While Azriel is adjusting back to his surroundings I'll say "Sleep well, Azriel." before heading off to bed myself. -Eventually, once we are married, there will be a birthday celebration held at a fully rented out roller rink. Towards the end of that night is when I will get to experience the other end of that consciousness swap. Azriel's mind will be in My Masked Man until he falls asleep. Again, my last words to him, moments before he drifts off, will be the same words I say to him as my ACOSAS self when returns there. "Sleep well, Azriel." -Occasionally during my aging life here in my CRDR I will shift ACOSAS. It won't be too long before - I have 2 WRs that I will likely visit as well, but for now, the above is my main focus.

I can't wait to fall in love with my eternal mate over and over again.

#If you have questions you are free to ask them #I don't bite #but please be respectful #I know my taste in DR isn't everyone's cup of tea #shifting antis dni #current reality #desired reality #reality shifter #shift #shiftblr #shifting community #shifting #reality shifting #reality shift #shifting consciousness #shifters #shifting blog #shifting motivation #shifting realities #shifttok #anti shifters dni

[wulfhalls]

cannot wait for hotd s2 to drop specifically to see your posts about it on the dash again, tumblr user irulan previously known as iskarieot

nothing to look forward to because I will be increasingly and incredibly normal about it this time round :) normal regular blogging like you've never seen on here before. just run of the mill average ass mid blogging. you'll be wondering by god have they upped her meds?? she's never been this normal before ever! no I've maxed out my zoloft prescription half a decade ago but regardless. that's how normal ill be about it

#asks #hotd

[freesia-writes]

The Master Post of All the Tags Lately

Jeez, you guys, I feel so stinkin loved. I've been here for literally 3 months and it's just... the best. It's redeemed social media, LOL. So much creativity and fun and humor and just absolute awesomeness.

ANYWAY. I've been hyperfixated on my smutty Crosshair fic collab with @lightwise, so I haven't answered any of the fun things y'all have been tagging me in lately, so I'm doing them ALL AT ONCE. ;)

Last Song: Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

Currently Watching: nothing, can you believe it?!

Currently Reading: The Gospel of Mark and amazing fanfics (I'd tag em but there's too many and I fear missing someone)

Current Obsession: Clones right now. Fanfic writing, sexy clone fanart.

@sunshinesdaydream @rain-on-kamino

My Mood Board/Core/Aesthetic -- Total disclosure, I hand-picked the images to reflect all the sides of me...

@sinfulsalutations @the-bad-batch-baroness

The Latest Line from my WIP:

Crosshair’s hand was suddenly on the small of your back again, warm and deliberate, a life preserver in a tumultuous ocean of emotions and memories; he stiffened as he felt your tension and the slight shudder as you fought to maintain composure.

@clone-anon @annwayne @ladyzirkonia

9 of my Favorite Characters:

They actually are in order from least to most favorite, coincidentally. Although I might switch Gregor and Rex. ;)

@annwayne @techs-stitches @photogirl894

I'm too lazy to figure out the snow globe date thing but I can tell you it'd be me and my man in a forest by a river with a bunch of snack food. @anxiouspineapple99

A scent I love: RAIN

Something I'm looking forward to this week: a super chill weekend with family and a ton of progress on the smutty Crosshair fic ;)

A book I'm currently reading: see above

A game I'm currently playing: Super Mario 3D World or Mario Kart on the Switch with the fam

Most recent movie: I never watch movies. Idk why. But I can watch hours of TBB or TCW, haha. So uhhhh. GEEZ. Honestly, no idea.

Watching anything on TV: not consistently. Occasional episodes of The Office. Taking a break from Star Wars as I'm writing and reading like crazy here. ;)

Favorite season: GARLIC IS A SEASON, @doublesunsets!? You're my hero. I usually say fall (basic white girl) but this year it's been spring. I love rain, green, salamanders, creeks, fog, etc. I was raised in Oregon but am in California now, so it's nice to have glimpses of the Pacific Northwest.

Something I've learned lately: Zoloft can significantly decrease your sexual responsiveness. ;)

Have I had water today? Heck yes. I tote my giant water bottle around everywhere.

Also too lazy to make a picrew, but sending love and hugs to you @thecoffeelorian, haha

Holla if I missed any! XD

[iwaizumis-bitch]

spilled apple juice rework??

hiii!! sorry i'm gonna be mentioning a lot of people in this one so please read. around may last year i started an smau fic called 'spilled apple juice', to make a long story short, its been on hiatus for over a year, but i've recently come back to tumblr and i think i'd like to rework it and republish it. there were only five (published) chapters released but you guys really seemed to like the fic! anyways, if you're tagged in this it's because you were on the original taglist. if you dont feel like keeping up with the new story, no worries, and thank you for supporting!! if you do feel like being on the taglist, regardless if you were before or not, please fill out this form!!

sorry again for the mentions if you're uninterested!

@woahhajime  @just-rachelamelia @chibichab @toorusluvr @the-fanss  @whorefornoodles @ti-mame @daddyissuesmademe @trashy-kawa @atrashsith  @octo-cutie @dreeming-dree @penguinlovestowrite@moonlit-mizukage @pattys-got-cakes @wolffmaiden @poems-and-word @zoloft-and-anime@alpha-mommy69 @fckin-buttered-noodles @summer-meadow @heyakaashi @hoperenae @call-me-drartemis @fantasycantasy @gerawrrrd @kuroos-bitch @lenasvoid @sukunasrealgf @little-aruma @bluecatton @pelicanpizza (ily) @courtney-allyson @katsuswhore @sunasconcert @feiwelinchen @bloombb @r-xochitl @vwinterr-bearr @akisrandom @erintaro

Post

[therealvalkyrie]

okay idk if any of y'all remember when i was posting about starting sertraline (zoloft), but it's been over a month now and this shit is the GOAT. i'm happy??? and productive?? y'all i did an impromptu closet clean out yesterday and donated so much stuff i never wear anymore. and i started journaling again?? and i'm more communicative and i spent a whole day shopping (SHOPPING????) with my mother and had a pleasant time???????? AND IT'S THE DEPTHS OF WINTER????????????????? i've also been having really vivid and bizarre dreams, but they're kinda fun ngl. anyway, thanks for encouraging me to start<3

#valkyrie talks

[iamthunderhearmehowl]

Let me tell you about the tattoo that my mom hates (this is a long ass post btw)

✨️Trigger Warning✨️

Suicide / Depression

- - - - - -

Hey, hi, it's me. This is the only place I feel really open about sharing things - but with the holidays and cold months coming up I know how hard it can be for people who are struggling with depression/ bi polar / familial trauma, etc. So here's this post to remind you (and me) that we'll be okay. You and me. We will be okay. We are still breathing, and with every breath we take, we still have a shot at living the lives we've dreamed of.

You see this tattoo? I got it as a reminder. Oh yeah, also it's a Dark Souls tattoo. It says "Don't You Dare Go Hollow".

My mom HATES it, but she has come to terms with how much I love this tattoo.

But anyways, I got this tattoo to remind myself to keep going. I got it about 1-2 years after I attempted to leave this earth on my own accord.

Background (skip if you want)

It was 2020. I had been a Veterinary Assistant (technician basically depending on what state you're in, TN treats the assistants the same as technicians). Clients were beating me down dude. I had phones thrown at me. I had death threats. I had people telling me I was a worthless piece of shit. I wanted to help these animal, but to do that I felt like I had to take and accept this slurry of abuse. I was unmedicated. I felt alone. I felt like I was nothing. An empty vessel. So one day I was supposed to go to work and we were working on a skeleton crew. 12 to 13 hours a day, days in a row, sometimes we would still have to go in on our off days. I couldn't do it anymore. I called out. I said I was sick. The response "I'm sorry you're sick, but that puts our team in a hard spot". That was it. The last straw.

I ended up going to the ER. I stayed there for a week. And thrn I ended up in a mental institution for 3 days. I was started on Zoloft.

All was well for a little bit. I stayed in my profession and decided to go to Tech School to brighten my future and make some more money.

It was. The most stressful time of my life. While I did leave my previous clinic I switched to ER and Specialty and lasted only about 6 months there. Before I realized I was spiraling again. I felt like a failure as a tech. I was worthless. I wasn't enough. I got let go. If I had been doing this for 5 years and could do this what fucking good was I? I saw the signs. I understood what was happening. I sought help and went to group therapy at a behavioral hospital.

It was amazing. The people I met, the counselors, I made so many friends and people who believed in me. We increased the dosage of my meds.

Now. I'm at a new clinic. I'm spiraling again. I'm in bad health. The doctors don't know what's wrong with me, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's stress from my career. I still come home sobbing. I come home feeling empty. No amount of medication can help free me from the unhappiness of my job. At one point I loved it. Somewhere along the way I realized that this isn't the life I want. I love your pets. I love my current clients. But I can't take the pressures of possibly getting hurt or sick. My back is messed up from this job, all of my joints pop and hurt, I have damaged and fractured my teeth from grinding them from stress. I am always tired. Working 10+ hours with just a one hour break isn't cutting it. I am miserable.

So.

I took the fucking leap guys. I'm doing it. I'm switching my career. I'm going back to my roots. I'm being creative and doing what. I started podcasting and realized how much I missed being myself. My VTNE is next month and I don't give a shit.

The game changer was really being inspired by the voice acting in Baulder's Gate 3. Hearing Neil Newbon's speech when he accepted his award made me cry. I took one of Steve Blums voice acting classes and . . . My God it was like finally hearing the affirmation I never got from my parents.

Back to the Tattoo

My point is, no matter how hard it gets, please allow yourself to enjoy the things you love and fuck what everyone else says. You do yourself a disservice if you don't give yourself a break. If you don't be true to yourself, if you don't strive for the life you've dreamed of.

It's why my tattoo is the Bonfire from Dark Souls. In your journey, you're going to fail multiple times. Sometimes, you get hung up on the same damn spot over and over and over again. Sometimes, you have to reface your enemies. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE BOSS BATTLES. You may fail thousands of times, but you know what you do? You go back to your bonfire- your safe place- and you heal up. You get the fuck back up the next day and do it again. Sometimes your game plan changes. You don't have to fight this boss today. You can fight him when you're ready. You don't have to make huge progress in the game today - you can dick around and look for good armor. You can change the whole path you take if you want to - it doesn't matter. In the end you will eventually accomplish what you've came to do.

I have really been fighting for my life lately, but I don't want to lose hope. If I give up, then I'll never see the end of the game or move on to the next one.

It's hard sometimes. But my favorite quote is:

"So if you ever find yourself in a slump, remember your purpose - whatever it may be - and never stop fighting for your goals, no matter how crazy they may seem. And don't you dare go hollow"

I don't know you guys but I love you. And if you need someone to tell you that personally my inboxes are open.

#dark souls #tattoos #dark souls tattoo #bg3 #neil newbon #steve blum #suicide awareness #my story #tattoo story #personal #video games #vet tech #voice acting #career change #depression #i am sad #saddness #tattoed girls #veterinary medicine #mental health #mental illness

[anotherpapercut]

Genuine question re: your last post about wearing a blondie t-shirt and coke in your nose. How can you do cocaine and not be addicted? I thought it was super addictive? Also doesn't weed and coke cancel each other out? You don't have to answer if you don't want to!

hey bud! no worries I am always happy to answer questions! so the short answer to both of these is pretty much no. but I'm also gonna give you the long answers if ur interested!

coke of course CAN be addictive, I personally am friends with a couple people who were addicted to coke at one point, but it's actually far less addictive than many other drugs prescription or not and it's of course dependant on the person. for instance, many people may find prescription anxiety medications like Xanax to be more addictive, and addiction to drugs in that class (benzodiazapine) are actually really dangerous, but many people are able to use these safely as well. it's also a pretty safe drug to take, provided it's pure, you are taking proper doses and you're not doing it all the time. I personally have only had it a few times because I barely feel anything with it due to chronic fatigue and stuff lol. and I know lots of other people who've tried it at clubs or parties and never really thought about it again!

basically, if like it's something you're interested in trying, be cautious as with any drug prescription or not. make sure it's from a reputable source, test it (for impurities) if you're not 100% sure it's been tested by someone you trust, research the proper doses and interactions with any other drugs (again prescription or not) that you are taking, and do it with a person you trust in a familiar environment. if you're prone to addictions then it might be something you want to skip, but again it's actually not quite as addictive as a lot of other drugs so if you're being safe with it it's a lot easier to step back from (this is based on experience my friends have had, I personally have never experienced any type of craving or addictive feeling with cocaine!)

second question: I have actually never heard this before lol! I'm guessing this is based on the fact that cocaine, like other amphetamines, is an "upper" while weed is a "downer". there aren't very many drugs that straight up negate each other (altho there are some! SSRIs like Zoloft will make MDMA and LSD pretty much entirely ineffective!) like that, it's more just that they change each other. so first of all the coke residue is actually from last night lol so it's not still affecting me, but when I did take it, it made me feel more awake and alert like caffeine would. while weed has a relaxing and sometimes sedating effect, the coke balanced that part out, and amplified the more stereotypical effects like laughing and talking (weed makes me talk A LOT lol) because of the added energy. generally mixing drugs with opposite effects will work like this. mixing weed and alcohol for instance is a really popular combination (often referred to as a "crossfade") because of how the weed will counteract the nausea and often like jitteriness and stuff associated with alcohol

I know this was a long as hell answer but I hope this helped to clear up your questions! feel free to ask me any other drug related questions, I'm always happy to research anything I don't already know :)

edit: was doing some research bc this question interested me and came across this like. suppressed 1995 study from the WHO kdbdksndn???????? do with this article what you will I suppose

#fun fact about one of my friends who was addicted to coke in his early 20s tho: he has a hole in his nose from it that whistles sometimes #everyone i know who was addicted to it also was able to get off of it with relative ease as compared to more dangerous things #like the friend w the hole in his nose was also addicted to heroin which was much more difficult for him #and actually becoming addicted to benzodiazapine medications had some really extreme withdrawal effects #you can actually die if you try to quit them without proper weaning and everything. thats why jordan peterson disappeared for a while #somehow he is a psychologist who was prescribed Klonopin and didnt know it was addictive?????? so he was taking a MASSIVE dose #and then tried to quit cold turkey bc ig he cant use google???? and he like almost died and had to go to russia and be put in a coma #then came right back and continued being the douchiest guy in America #drug ed

[persacomgirl]

sooo this is my first post and i just wanted to vent because i was prescribed Zoloft today and i'm so fucking terrified of gaining weight. i have spent the past four years losing weight after nearly being obese and i don't wanna start slipping up and gaining weight again. has anyone who's been on antidepressants have any tips for not gaining weight? and everywhere i see says "don't worry it's only a few pounds (:" idgaf if it's only five pounds i can't take gaining weight. i've worked so hard i can't give it up just because i have depression. so please any tips would be so so helpful

#ed not ed sheeran #tw ana diary #ana rant #ana advice

[my-strange-attraction]

I can't believe how close I can to never knowing I could be a sexual being (let alone knowing I like girls). Lately I've been in a good enough place to finally go to therapy and psychiatry and I've been testing out a few different SSRIs for anxiety, and one of the main side effects is lowered libido.

I'm going to be talking about libido and the effects that the meds have had on me in that way in this post, so it's not quite sfw but also I'm not going to get too TMI. Just a head's up.

The first I tried (Lexapro) took it away from me entirely, before I even got beyond a starter dose, and the one I'm on now (Zoloft) seems to have made the highs and lows of my cycle WAY more apparent (though I've only been on it for just over a month so it's hard to tell if that's exactly what it's doing, but whereas my libido was pretty one-note before with the occasional Horny Day, in this past month it went away completely around the two weeks surrounding my period and now, just as I noticed I was ovulating, it is back more intensely than before).

And in the times when it's been gone, I've felt... confused, to say the least. Discovering my individual sexuality was the main part of what helped me figure out my sexuality relating to others just over a year ago, and without that to fall back on, it's felt like I was ace again (disclaimer that theres obviously nothing inherently bad or disappointing about not being attracted to others sexually, it's just disappointing for ME PERSONALLY because I am not ace and the idea that I won't be attracted to anyone is disappointing in a kind of intrinsic way that I can't really explain fully. It makes me understand why amatonormativity exists, although obviously it's dumb as hell because different people have different wants and values and experiences and just because something is intrinsic to me does not make it intrinsic to every human being)

Anyways. Sorry, I keep tangent-ing. If my mental health had been good enough any earlier for me to start working on my mental health (oh the paradox of mental health services) I may not have ever known I had a libido, full stop. Lexapro OBLITERATED it, before I even got past 10mg (and even during the first week when I was only on 5mg it lowered significantly). I wasn't even enjoying reading fanfic as much anymore, it made me disinterested in romance as a whole. I've been OBSESSED with romance since I was 11 (puberty oop).

I just can't believe my religious upbringing had me so far in the closet with myself that I may have missed out on this entirely. This is exactly why abstinence only education is bad and does not work (AMONG OTHER REASONS, I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS THE ONLY REASON IT SUCKS) and why we need to combat the stigma for masturbation early, especially in people with a vulva. Self exploration is so so necessary to feeling like your most realized self, and it's so easy to miss entirely when you're never taught how to look for it, when you're taught to look away until "the right time." And my religious upbringing was on the tamer side, too. Education about sexual topics is so important, and adults treating it like taboo only ever hurt me.

#queer #lesbian #sexuality #libido #mental health #lexapro #zoloft #sex education (not the show) #cloudy rambles

[killed-by-choice]

Jennifer Hallner, 27 (USA 1997)

In 1997, Jennifer Marie Hallner was killed by a legal abortion in Maryland. The abortion facility responsible for her death was Potomac Family Planning.

She was 6 weeks pregnant and underwent a D&C abortion at the hands of Earl McLeod. It’s important to note that she was perfectly healthy and had no pre-existing medical problems. She should be alive today.

Jennifer was put in the recovery section at 10:10 A.M. with an abnormally high heart rate. She was put on an oxygen mask, but all of the monitors were disconnected from her. 10 minutes later, an employee only identified as Nurse W realized Jennifer was unresponsive.

W’s response was questionable at best. First she told someone to get Jennifer a Zoloft. Zoloft is an antidepressant, which would do absolutely nothing to help revive Jennifer. As the assistant left, W changed the request to Zofran. (It’s possible that she got the two medications mixed up.) However, Zofran is an antiemetic and Jennifer was not showing any signs of vomiting. It’s unclear what this was supposed to do, if anything.

W left an unconscious Jennifer and went into the operating room herself. She asked Dr. K (the anesthesiologist) for Zofran. K did not evaluate Jennifer’s condition but handed over the Zofran anyway. At about 10:25, Nurse W administered Zofran to Jennifer’s IV. Not surprisingly, it did nothing to revive her.

W returned to the procedure room and asked K for Romazicon, a drug used to reverse the effects of drugs used for anesthesia. K again provided the drug to W without examining Jennifer at all.

An employee identified as Nurse H went to check Jennifer’s blood pressure and realized Jennifer’s pupils were fixed and dilated and she had no pulse. H went to get K, who finally examined Jennifer. By this time Jennifer’s blood pressure dropped to an alarming 60/40 and she was still completely unresponsive.

The incompetence continued. The staff who attempted CPR used the pediatric-size bag valve mask on hand, which was the only one on the crash cart. (The fact that an abortion facility had only pediatric emergency equipment on hand raises some disturbing questions about how young their clients tended to be.) McLeod didn’t call 911 until 10:42 and failed to use monitoring equipment. Paramedics arrived to find Jennifer in cardiac arrest. The anesthesiologist could not tell them anything about the patient’s heart electrical activity, which he should have been noting on an EKG. The medics noted the use of a pediatric bag-valve mask (which was not giving Jennifer enough oxygen), and the fact that nobody had put a breathing tube into the patient to make sure that air was being pumped into her lungs and not her stomach.

The medics immediately placed the necessary monitors on Jennifer and used equipment that was actually capable of helping her. Paramedics got Jennifer to Shady Grove Adventist Hospital at 11:09 a.m. The ER doctor noticed that her pupils were fixed and dilated. After aggressive resuscitative efforts by ER staff, Jennifer’s heart was restored to a stable rhythm, and she was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit. But despite their best efforts, she died at 4:15 a.m. on December 21.

The appalled paramedics reported McLeod to the medical board, which faulted him with failure to provide adequate and readily-available post-operative monitoring equipment, and failure to provide adequate emergency supplies. The board also required him to get his staff properly certified in CPR.

An interesting note: The medical board indicates that McLeod told them that when he first opened his abortion facility, he contacted the state asking for guidelines for a freestanding abortion facility. He said he was told that there were none.

McLeod also ran the Hillcrest abortion facility in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, where Kelly Morse was killed in 1996. She was also not adequately resuscitated. Kelly’s husband filed suit, saying, “No respiration rate was recorded, no pulse was checked and no blood pressure was measured. No EKG was applied. No cardiac monitoring was conducted. No pulse oximeter was applied. No intubation or emergency tracheotomy was performed.” Apparently McLeod didn’t learn from Kelly’s death the lessons that would have saved Jennifer’s life.

(Maryland State Board of Physician Quality Assurance Case Number 98-0472)

(Documentation of Kelly’s suspension)

(Petition by Jennifer’s family)

lawsuit by Jennifer’s family

#death from legal abortion #tw abortion #pro life #tw ab*rtion #tw murder #abortion debate #abortion is not healthcare #abortion #pro choice #unsafe yet legal

[omgcatboi]

I really want to go back to posting pics again but I feel like that would be giving tumblr the green light on continuing it's transphobia and sexism.

You can say fat cis guys also get flagged all you want. It doesn't lessen my dysphoria at all.

Now people are talking about me for it. Because I'm steadily losing followers. I don't feel at all welcome in this community anymore.

The moment I slip and let it show how deep in crisis I am, I'm shunned. As usual.

Why would I post and give to a community that only takes? Y'all reblog so many mental health awareness posts but it's all hollow words coming from you. I'm considering deactivating. because once again, my reputation is ruined by a crisis episode. And instead of people asking if I'm ok, y'all leave me.

I understand what I said was triggering, and it's fine to see that. But Jesus Christ am I tired of internet communities shunning me the moment I show just how bad things are for me. You think I just say shit like that normally? You think I just talk like that every day?

I don't.

once again people see you at your lowest and use it to define who you are.

I've been unmedicated for a while now because of shit programs that put me on month waiting lists. Do you realize how fucked in the head you have to be to take 150 Seroquel when you wake up? Do you realize that? With 50 Zoloft and cogentex too? You realize that much Seroquel makes you higher than any amount of smoking weed can, huh? You think they give that out for mild depression?

I'm the epitome of mentally ill and I'm constant crisis. And I'm sick of being left behind by everyone.

If my followers drop back to 2,000 I'm gone. I can't handle watching people leave me because they don't think a person with illness can be a good person. Despite me being pretty positive on here for a while.

I have BPD and I see that for what it is. Abandonment.

I deleted the posts and still losing people. That right there shows me that it isn't because of what I have posted. People are talking. And that's extremely shitty high school mentality and I can't be around that.

I don't want to see it. I'm sick of being the punching bag every time i try to find a safe community. I have special needs, I can't make friends IRL because I talk very slow and constantly make very obvious movements with my entire body that I can't control. People who meet me are surprised when I can talk at all.

This was supposed to be a space where I can make friends despite my differences. But it ended up being like every other community out there.

Wanna know why the mentally ill don't often speak about how bad it is? Why we don't reach out?

Because the moment we have an episode, we're left behind and dropped from entire communities like sacks of potatoes.

I feel like I'll never belong anywhere. I feel like the same hatred I've faced my entire life for being different is going to only repeat until I die. I'll never be accepted by anyone. And that stings.

Yes, what I posted was triggering, you don't necessarily have a very positive mind set when you've got a plan in motion now do you?

But you can say I was wrong without being cruel about it.

Anon stays off. I can already imagine the slew of hate I'll get for posting straight facts here.

You can't handle the mentally ill, so stop virtue signaling and just admit you can't stand when we're negative.

[ghostzzy]

izzy update:

1. turns out i’m dying because my new (already lower) dose of zoloft tablet has been improperly manufactured -- i was the 17th person my psychiatrist has seen in the last two week who has shit out on their meds because of this. so if u take zoloft tablets produced by cipla (it’ll say on ur bottle) and suddenly ur shit isn’t working anymore, talk to your doctor abt getting a capsule version or going brand for a bit. 

anyway all this is to say, i’m not crazy, i didn’t do anything wrong, i just got unlucky with a bad batch of pills, and the timing of it lining up with my pms means i was probably absorbing almost no zoloft at all, essentially throwing my body into cold-turkey withdrawal. i’m gonna get back on my higher dose capsules for now and i’ll go back to tapering down when we can get our hands on some meds that aren’t fucking busted. 

2. i scheduled an appointment for next week with a neurological rehab that may be able to help with my dysautonomia -- i’m skeptical but tentatively hopeful, the methods make sense to me and this clinic has exclusively positive reviews from patients with chronic pain and fatigue. no clue if my insurance is going to cover any of it though but like. fingers crossed and will keep you guys posted.

3. i also cleaned my room, cooked lunch, washed the dishes, took out the recycling, and didn’t cry at all today. the power of taking a sick day tbh. i’m really proud of myself for getting all this done and handled and getting things back on track now that i know what’s wrong and what we’re doing to fix it. i should only feel This Bad for a few more days and then things will start to be good again. 

#ik some pals were worried about me so i figured i'd share this instead of just journaling it #thank u guys for eternally putting up with my fuckin. whiplash whirlwind of bullshit. #all will be well again soon. #and if the neurological rehab shit actually works? even better. #izzy.txt

[homeplanets]

you know that post that's like "Zoloft is a wizard and sertraline is his snake-wife". well they've ensorcelled me again. actually i came crawling back like a sad wet mouse that ran away in the rain. Unfortunate

#idk i think i might just be reliant on it at this point. bad and sucks

[asimmingpunsquared]

still feeling horrible - the zoloft withdrawal dizziness is actually getting worse instead of better (???) and now i'm having trouble taking a deep breath, which according to google actually has a scientific name but i can't remember. it's only been a week, so i still have to wait it out. i think i feel so bad because yesterday i was actually feeling better so i pushed myself to do more chores around the house and uh. i am feeling the repercussions. the repercussies, if you will.

literally the only thing i can do rn is play the sims. i bought the battlepass for overwatch this season before i knew i'd be changing my meds, so i might make my partner play for me so i can get my rewards lasgdksglksgs. anyway, sims. i've been particularly getting into decorating. i also found out what was causing my crashing when doing makeovers - i think, years ago, when my onedrive fucked up and reset some stuff in my game, the 4gb patch unapplied itself. shoutout to @sometownie for mentioning this in one of their gameplay posts. they mentioned that they weren't getting the pink soup that normally happens when you don't have the 4gb patch applied - i hadn't either, which is what inspired me to check. so like, psa if you're having unexplained crashes with no pink soup, check to make sure the 4gb patch hasn't mysteriously vanished. shoutout again to sometownie for inspiring me to actually decorate (and push outside of my comfort zone with decoration - which is like, the first two pages of whatever category, lmao). and shoutout to coolors.co, which i think i saw @gir-sims using, for generating inspiring color palettes so i don't just make all my sims houses decorated with various shades of brown, white and blue with yellow and pink throw in for some spice.

anyway i'm still able to work because i work from home mostly listening to audio and editing text, which also means i'm able to play the sims and edit pictures during work! i haven't been much in the mood to edit, mostly just play, but i'll try and get some editing done to get back to posting. gameplay-wise i'm in university of week 3 year 5 but i took a break to do some decorating around stilla.

#text #long rambly text cause my brain is scattered