embers and earth ch. 1 (zuko x jin angst)
Summary: jin finds out "lee" is actually firelord zuko, the new leader of the fire nation. angst and mental breakdown ensues
Word Count: 1.2k
Pairing: zuko x jin
Tags: angst, jealousy, yearning, prince x peasant
Author's Note: this was inspired by fan art but I for the life of me cannot find the artist's name just if you are out there just know you inspired this fic so thank u :v
Jin was absolutely furious the day that she found out.
She remembered being over the moon the night before when the Earth King announced that the Hundred Year War was finally over. That the fire nation inherited a new leader who would forge peace between all four nations at long last. She recalled sleeping a little bit more deeply that night. A sigh of relief. A breath of fresh air.
She even had a pep in her step when she ambled into the main marketplace of the Lower Ring in the morning. For the first time in her life, she didn’t need to worry about her safety. She remembered having to escape with her family when fire nation soldiers attacked her village when she was only a little girl. The fear in her father’s eyes. Her mother holding her tight and telling her not to make a sound when she cried.
But today was a new day. A fresh start.
She was picking out the ripest cabbage in the stall when she noticed a couple of Dai Li agents putting up posters around the square. She swore to herself she saw a glimpse of a face that looked all too familiar for comfort. She almost didn’t want it to be true. Because if it was, it would confirm too many questions she would stay up asking herself over and over again.
A small crowd was already beginning to form around one of the posters. She eventually elbowed her way through and made it to the very front. And there it was.
Firelord Zuko. Future of the Fire Nation. Forging an era of peace.
Except it wasn’t “Zuko”, or whoever that was. It was Lee. The boy with the scar from the tea shop. She reached out reluctantly, as if she touched the poster he would come walking off the page. She placed the tips of her fingertips over the purple scar that ran across his triumphant face.
But it’s not possible. Lee said he was of the Earth Kingdom. A traveling circus, was it? Now that she thinks of it, it did sound a little bit too barbaric to be real. But none of that mattered.
She was fascinated by him. She hung onto his every word. Even though it’s not like he had much to say in the first place.
After their date, she remembered how excited she was to see him again. She planned out an entire day with him in her mind, replaying the scenarios in her dreams like she was the director of a play. She recalled feeling a bit ridiculous about it, like some giddy fangirl. But she didn’t care. She had never wanted anything more in her life.
But surprise quickly melted into confusion, which devolved into anger.
How could he? she thought to herself, trying to piece together the puzzle but it still didn’t make any sense.
The last time she tried to reach out to him, she burst through the doors of the tea shop, wearing her heart on her sleeve and ready to confess her undying love to him, without so much of a care in the world. But he was gone. In the blink of an eye, tossed away into the wind.
“Where did he go?” she asked one of the workers, almost dissociated from reality.
“To the Upper Ring,” he replied, sweeping some dust out of a corner. “His uncle got a job offer to run his own tea business. The Jasmine Dragon, was it? Yeah something like that.”
She felt her own blood run cold. She would only ever occasionally venture up to the Middle Ring, but Upper? She wouldn’t stand a chance. She would be ushered out as quickly as she came in. Not to mention she had no idea where this new store was even located.
She was inconsolable for several days, of course, but in the back of her mind she knew she couldn’t cry forever. Because time heals all wounds, as her mother would say.
And she eventually moved on, even though there was always longing within her that she could never quite shake. An ache that pulsated every time she remembered that she would most likely never see him again.
Her thoughts were beginning to spiral at a rate of a million miles per second. Was he lying to her that entire time? Was that what he meant when he said “it’s complicated”?
She paused, her entire body frozen.
Was that how he lit up the lanterns at Firelight Fountain?
She couldn’t even process what was happening, but next thing she knew, she had already scrunched up that stupid poster, much to the crowd’s bickering and dismay, and shred it all up into several pieces.
Tears were beginning to bud at the bottoms of her eyes. So that’s it. He was a firebender this entire time. But why lie about it? Why keep something so important from her, when he knew how much the fire nation had hurt her family.
Why was she acting like some sort of dramatic schoolgirl? It’s not like they were officially together or anything. It was just one silly date. Why did it mean so much to her anyway?
She walked briskly home, attempting, but failing horribly to conceal her tearstained face.
She opened the door to her modest home, without even bothering to close it gently, and stormed up the stairs to her bedroom.
“Jin, were you able to get the vegetables I needed?” her mother called from the kitchen but she wasn’t even able to muster up a response.
She flung herself onto the cot splayed out in the middle of the floor, grabbing her pillow and holding it close to her chest.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, she kept telling herself. Why did she care so much anyway? It doesn’t even matter. None of it.
Lee or Zuko, what difference did it make?
He was still going to be a million worlds apart. Whether that was the Jasmine Dragon in the Upper Ring or the palace in the Fire Nation.
She could weep and yearn for her entire life, and then what? He would just descend into the dilapidated shacks of the Lower Ring and sweep her off her feet? She knew the chance of that happening was zero to none. So why hope? Why cling onto this tiny shred of faith that had no meaning otherwise?
She played with the thought a little bit, after all, she was a hopeless romantic at heart. But the fantasy dissipated as quickly as it formed.
It’s best to forget any of this ever happened, she decided for herself after an entire afternoon of contemplation. There’s no use in staying in the past. Besides, he probably never thinks of her these days. He’s busy running his own country, and creating a new era for the world.
After all, why would some Earth Kingdom peasant ever cross the firelord’s mind?
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