tahyal

[tahyal]

[tahyal]

This is advice for the previous asker. 

As I was reading your post I felt like it was me who is speaking. Currently I’m in Japan and work culture here is toxic sometimes with some people being either cold or mean. I got my job just six months ago but I literally burnt out from the first month and thought about quitting my job every single day despite liking my job working with kids. What worked for me is a combination of being both assertive and dismissive whenever a situation happens . Depending on the situation, you either need to instantly fireback at them. And at times you literally just need to ignore their existence. You get to decide if something is worth speaking over. Plus when you realize some people don’t get it, in that case probably just ignoring could work because you can only say so much without it getting over their head. 

I know it is hard. For me it was specially hard because growing up all my life I have been extremely nice and gentle, so being assertive isn’t in my nature. I literally had to google “how to deal with mean people in an Islamic way” lol 😂 but what worked for me is that I spoke to myself every single morning as I get ready in front of the mirror and at night at times and tell myself I am strong and I am assertive and that I will stand up for myself. Not only thqt but that I’ll be a pretty badass at it if someone even tries. I had to hype myself up on so many days now that I genuinely got it and I haven’t had problems since as I am instantly firing back at them and without feeling guilty about it too. 

Also literally every morning I would make dhikr and say “ La hawla wala quwata ila billah” - there is no power nor strength except by Allah the Lofty, the Great".  The key is to say it while you are very present , focused and trusting of Allah. And be consistent. Also, always make duaa. This has worked immensely whenever I struggled with anything I just make duaa every single day relentlessly and then subhanAllah Allah always makes a way out. 

Always remind yourself that Allah has created you and honored and dignified you immensely , you are so precious and so high in the eye of Allah . Make sure you carry yourself with that sense of pride and dignity that Allah has bestowed upon you and always choose you first. The more you speak up for yourself , the stronger you will become specially mentally and for future situations. This world sometimes is cruel but always detach and remember you are not responsible for people’s behavior or emotions and that whatever is going on is their issue. Constantly make dhikr while at work to gain endurance for the day. You got it ! 

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[tahyal]

Hi Tahyal,

I hope you are doing well. I'm going to warn you this is a long question and sorry if I'm asking you this but no one I know seems to give me advice on how to solve this issue of mine. So I thank you in advance. My soul feels very tired :(

At the end of march I started working at a new job. The thing is, I like the job and it also pays be pretty well, but with time I've realised this place I've been woking is the most toxic work environment I've ever seen in my life. Because we're a group of new wokers, the "elders" have been treating us like total trash. They've made multiple of us cry, and many have wanted to leave. They are horrible with us and constantly talk ill about eachother. It's very very bad. It's been almost a month and I've endured until three days ago, when the way they've been treating me for the past days has made me cry for days in a row everytime I get out of that place. I've thought about leaving the job but I'm still not sure, as I'm in uni and I pay for my apartment and all of my expenses by myself. My parents live in another city where I don't want to go back to and I also can't ask money from my parents to maintain me. These people yell at us, even sometimes insult us and even when you've been doing your job correctly they try and find ways to yell at you about. The mindset I've adopted is, I'm going to talk back as the worst thing they can do is fire me. They all hate me because I talk back (when they personally attck me for no reason) and I'm not a kiss-ass.

First of all what is your opinion on the matter? do you think I should leave the job although it pays me well and I actually like it, and it's also a pretty important position and I don't really want to go back to being a waitress? or should I stay and be patient but raising my voice when I feel like I'm being disrespected?

And my real question is this. I know we are not allowed to curse in Islam, so I've never reached a point in my life where I've wanted to cure so bad anyone in my life but here we are. Because I cannot do that, do you know any "halal" way to make dua' against a person? Or any way to attack them without getting any bad karma in return?

Wallah my soul is tired lately, especially from these people :(

Thank you for taking the time to read this <3

Hi love!

Im sorry you’re going through this, there’s some undeniable strength emanating from your message though! Masha Allah.

Since it’s a job that you like and that pays well, id suggest you stay but remain assertive! Things might get better along the way, I sincerely pray they do.

There are several duas you can make! One of the best ones is Hasbunallahu wa ni’mal wakeel, it has worked for on so many occasions. There is also the du’a of the oppressed, I can’t remember it but you should easily find it online.

Here are a few others :

Please update me, may Allah make it easy for you! 🤍

[tahyal]

What are some not so obvious signs someone may not be as confident or self loving?

Performing for the world rather than your own gaze

Valuing other people’s opinions above your own

Constantly focusing on « haters / opps » lol

[tahyal]

how/where would you reccomend learning more about feminine energy? I am so sick of these watered down tik toks videos which all are very unauthentic.

The best way to learn about it is by tuning in to yourself, connecting with your womb, and letting go of the « grasping » energy of always trying to accumulate information! 🤍 It is not external, it is cultivated within. Don’t look for it outside, tune out the external noise and listen to what your body is trying to tell you.

I recommend Niecia Nelson’s work/ig @Iamaltar her writings are lovely.

[tahyal]

source

[tahyal]

Hi! I hope this Ramadan went really well for you <3

as I've been cooking more ofter during Ramadan, I've gotten inspiration from some accounts I follow but there's this one in particular I felt I should recommend you. I think you would like her way of cooking. She's on instagram @nadzsnacks. I hope you like her!

Hi! This is so sweet thank you 🤍🤍🤍

[tahyal]

[tahyal]

Hi Tahyal,

I hope you are doing well and prospering. As someone who is in tune with the universe, how are you interpreting and/or preparing for the solstice happening soon? I keep reading and hearing that it is a time to be cautious and protective due to what the solstice could bring. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Wishing you good health, happiness and abundance 🤍🧿

Hi, thank you! 🤍

Honestly my intuition keeps leading me to surrender even more deeply. I feel like its a time of harvest more than anything. The past few months (and even last year) we’ve been pushed to re-arrange our inner worlds, face some of our fears, and directed to make different choices. Right now is the time to lean back and let God do the rest! This is how I personally feel 🤍.

#And also apply the wisdom you’ve received during those times

[tahyal]

Robert Mapplethorpe, Cattleya Orchid, 1992.

[tahyal]

Hello, so happy to see you back 💜

I just wanted to have some advice. My sisters keep planning things in front of me without ever inviting me. They are even planning a trip in few months, and didn’t even bother asking me if I was interested going with them. It just feels really odd. I feel like I’ve reached a point where I highly doubt if I’ll even bother with them once I move out.

Hi!

Sorry about that, sounds really frustrating..

My advice will be very generic lol because I don’t know the details of your situation, have you tried straight up communicating this to them?

[tahyal]

Oh and for gaining weight, I myself am trying to do that lol, what Ive found helpful so far is really making sure I get 80 to 100g of protein per day, increase high quality animal fats, and letting go of stress. Stress will legit steal nutrients away from you, because it forces your body to utilize more minerals/vitamins in order to sustain that state. Take naps and stay unbothered 😂.

Hiiii I’m glad you’re posting again 💕 I’m curious to know what things you do to get energy naturally. I know coffee and energy drinks are so bad for me. I also hate when I eat a meal and I feel tired after. It’s hard to balance trying to gain weight and not feeling fatigued after eating a larger meal. Any tips for what I can add to my diet and/or lifestyle to feel more energized?

Hi! 💞

I have noticed that starches do that to me, so I try to limit my consumption of them. When I eat too much I get a bit lethargic.

Try upping your protein intake and replacing the starches with vegetables or simple carbs such as fruits. Don’t completely take them out of your diet, but play around and see what your body likes best.

Ive also noted that cutting out gluten significantly improved my energy levels / well being in general.

Some other tips :

- Drink coconut water (rich in electrolytes) / mineral rich beverages : too much plain water can deplete your minerals

- Check to see if you’re not vitamin D deficient, this can cause lethargy and a bunch of other annoying symptoms lol

- Low impact workouts over high intensity and cardio, especially if you have hormonal imbalances or thyroid issues. Ive seen people lose more weight / get toned easily doing that versus the usual « hard » workouts

- Block out curtains or use a sleeping mask, even the slightest bit of light at night can alter your quality of sleep, which will in turn affect your energy levels during the day

I’ll add more if I remember ! Hope it helped 🫶🏽

[tahyal]

Nastassja Olivia

[tahyal]

A huge digital archive of Palestinian culture.

"Over 200 Years of Palestinian Life Portrayed Through Photographs, Documents, Letters, Diaries, Publications, and Audio & Video Recordings"

[tahyal]

hello tahyal 🌸🌸 hope you are well. Do you have any advice for traction Alopecia? I have been dealing with this and it’s bringing me a lot of stress.

Hi! Sorry im just seeing this, I unfortunately don’t have any knowledge on this, but I recommend browsing through Organic Olivia’s podcasts and website / ig, I believe she also has an herbal tincture for hair growth which is a « blood builder » (Chinese Medicine concept).

[tahyal]

I don’t understand the quote you shared. ;( why keep it a secret?

I see it as not trying to describe or explain it in words, not trying to teach it or demonstrate it. As it is an experience that is felt within, in the depths of our being. That’s why its a « secret ».

[tahyal]

Hi Tahyal ,

I want to thank you so much for introducing me to Nouman Ali Khan teachings, I read my first verses of Tafsir Ibn Kathir. I don’t know if I’m pronouncing the vocabulary correct but everything’s feels so familiar and natural to me when it roles off the tongue. When I searched Tafsir Ibn Kathir on YouTube to understand what it means more, I came across his teaching on the beginning and the end speaking about control and pride .

I’ve been thinking lately about our need for “control “ and how it is form of fear lead by codependency and when I clicked on Quranic Gems I elected control and passage read beautifully of how pride and ego leads us to believe we’re in control but really Allah wills and guides. And it’s ironic how lately all of prayers and meditation thoughts has been about releasing and letting the divine guide including my tarot cards. I’m so happy to see all this synchronicity that I am on the right path and listening to my intuition. I recently moved out of my exes place , left an emotional abusive attachment , moved in for ratty monitory room the size of a closet to find myself and I have to admit st first I feared I wouldn’t make it , but idk I keep going on. This feels right in my soul to keep going, that I’m on the right path walking closer to my purpose as a healer, closer to god and closer to finding myself. If I could send you a dozen flowers Tahyal I would I wish thank you so much 😊 🩵✨🦋

Oh my God, im just seeing this, im so happy for you 🥹

And yes the urgent need for control tends to be a manifestation of deep rooted fear, and lack of faith/trust! Im really overjoyed to hear this, please don’t hesitate to give me updates or ask questions if you need to!

🤍🤍🤍🤍