talking-to-myself-to-talk

[talking-to-myself-to-talk]

220608 ◇ beatbox ending fairy (jeno)

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self care for when you hit rock bottom

i fucking hate self care posts made by neurotypicals so here’s one from someone who Actually Gets It

-can’t shower or take a bath? me either. dry shampoo can make your hair look and feel cleaner, and baby wipes or makeup wipes work great to get the top layer of grime off your skin.

-can’t wash your sheets and make your bed? i feel you. push your blankets out of the way and shake the crumbs off your sheet. it will at least be a bit more comfortable.

-can’t even change out of your dirty pajamas? been there. hit yourself with some febreeze and a lint roller. if you can, brush your hair. if you can’t, hair ties and bobby pins are fantastic.

-can’t make anything to eat? same. if you can, there’s no shame in ordering food. in fact, it’s probably better you eat something rather than go hungry. if you can’t, try and find something that comes pre-made or takes minimal effort to make. at the very least, drink some water.

can’t respond to messages or reach out for help? yeah, i get that. set an alarm for a few hours from now and respond to any messages you need to once you’ve given yourself time to prepare. if they’re Important Messages that need Professional Responses, you can find fill-in-the-blank format rough drafts on google. as far as personal messages go, don’t feel bad for sending a mass “I’m sorry, I’m in a personal emergency right now. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” response to everyone.

-can’t even sleep because it’s so bad? asmr videos always knock me out, personally, but i also watch a lot of bob ross. just try to find something quiet and soothing to use as background noise and take your mind off it, or at least give you a more peaceful environment to think about it.

-can’t go for a walk/drive? try opening the blinds or curtains. you’re still exposing yourself to the outside world. baby steps. (i also play animal crossing or sims; it may be virtual but fuck it. i went on a walk.)

-can’t go into work/school? let people know. let your coworkers or classmates know it’s an emergency and you can’t make it. give yourself up to two days, but then you have to go back. ask to have your work emailed to you so you know what you missed.

-can’t brush your teeth and wash your face? makeup or baby wipes and gum or mouthwash. don’t let yourself physically rot bc you’re rotting emotionally.

-remember that you’ve been here before. if you survived then you can survive now. that’s what this is about- survival. you don’t have to be living your Best Life. right now, it’s more than enough that you’re alive.

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:| my dad's getting an exterminator

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so fucked up that so much of our lives is dedicated to being a good student & good employee. it is no longer enough to have good grades or to do ur job well now u have to manufacture this narrative of yourself that is perfectly tailored to what universities &employers want to see. this is why we cant settle for being amateurs at anything I think.. we have so little free time & yet we feel like spending it without being “productive” is laziness…. I want to bake mediocre bread. & collect cool rocks. take naps. play tennis badly. try rock climbing. boil eggs to put in my pockets & eat at the park. fuck everything else

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Dear future soulmate,

I've been working very hard to be able to meet you. You got me through some years, and I did forget about you. I've been working so hard to be healthy. I want to meet, but I'm not ready yet. I'm impatient, but u deserve the best of me. We haven't talked in a while, hav we?

I hope someday soon we make a first contact. I'm proud of myself. I've done so much growing this past year. I worry I'm fading again. I escape the reality as a mindless drone almost. Send me strengthening words.. I think it would help. I send you words now, too. I love you, you're special.

Goodnight,

-ttmtt

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i don't know if i'm chasing a dream or running away from a nightmare

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Idk wtf I am butt I can do wat I gotta 2 b loved IF ONLY SOMEONE WUD EXPLAIN IT TO ME

bcuz obviously that lady's rules fidnt work

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Ik I'm responsible for myself butt things were sm easier to understand wen it was black and white. This will make people mad. This will get them to lik u. This is wellbehaved. This means u fucked up

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Hm. HMMMM. Y can't y'all just slap me & lmk? I'm working on it butt I'm sm better at actually being good wen there's a motivator up my ass

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am i falling apart rn? yea, butt th mood swung & im cautiously hopeful! oh wat am i talking abt im always hopeful baha

#that you'll come find me #that you'll reach out #that you'll like spending time w me #that you wont get mad #that you'll say something rly niice #that youll wipe my tears away and kiss my cheeks #that you'll stay #that we'll b best friends #that i'll be tended to #that i'll b taken care of #that i'll be less afraid #that i'll be more free #that i will meet you

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HOLY SHIT SHE CALLED ME HONEY SOME1 CALL TH POLIC I DONT THINK IM GONNA MAKE IT *screaming and crying* /pos

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y tf can't i b soft >:(

about to catapult myself into a fic forever SMH MY HEAD

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draw him like one of your french bunnies 🐰

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I suspect quite a few people on this site don’t realize they are struggling with the effects of chronic trauma. In particular I think more people need to learn about the symptoms of C-PTSD.

Distinct from general PTSD, Complex PTSD is caused by prolonged, recurring stress and trauma, often occurring in childhood & adolescence over an extended period of time. There are many risk factors, including: abusive/negligent caregivers, dysfunctional family life, untreated mental/chronic illness, and being the target of bullying/social alienation.

I’m not a mental health professional and I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone, I just remember a million watt light bulb going off in my head when I first learned about C-PTSD. It was a huge OH MY FUCKING WORD eureka moment for me—it explained all these problems I was confused and angry at myself for having. The symptoms that really stood out to me were:

Negative self-perception: deep-seated feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, and stigma. Feeling like you are different from everyone else, like something is fundamentally ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ with you.

Emotional avoidance of topics, people, relationships, activities, places, things etc that might cause uncomfortable emotions such as shame, fear, or sadness. Can lead to self-isolation.

Learned helplessness: a pervasive sense of powerlessness, often combined with feelings of desensitization, wherein you gradually stop trying to escape or prevent your own suffering, even when opportunities exist. May manifest as self-neglect or self-sabotage. (I remember watching myself make bad choices and neglect my responsibilities, and having no idea why I was doing it, or how to stop myself. Eventually I just stopped caring, which led to more self-neglect.)

Keep reading

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Stay strong throughout the storms! You’ll be greeted by the warm sunlight when it’s over! ☀️

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My doggie barks & doesn't stop & it's becuz of me he's barking at me & he needs something but I don't no wat it is & my dad gets rly mad wen he does & my sibling got mad 2 it's my fault he's barking & idk how 2 get him 2 b quiet. I'm trying not 2 cry cuz u can hear sniffling & I'm worried if I go in th shower hell start barking again