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teaandgames · 1 month
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HELLDIVERS 2 - Review
I reviewed the hot new game that everyone's trying desperately to get into! It's pretty dang good!
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teaandgames · 2 months
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Atlas Wept - Review!
A game that everyone should play. Absolutely nutty but full to bursting with soul.
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teaandgames · 3 months
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Top And Bottom of 2023
2023, we hardly knew ye. Everyone says the years go by fast but this one barely shook my hand before running off. Maybe it’s because I’m thirty now. Maybe as the decades pass, the years get faster. In which case, by the time I’m eighty I should be able to do a decade of games in one post. Now that’s efficiency.
Anyway, this list only contains games I’ve actually played, so you can blame time and money for the lack of games like Baldur’s Gate 3 on this list. Instead, it’s going to be a little bit of a strange list, so bear with me. I’ll be doing top and bottom five, just to get straight to the point really, and alternating them, to try and drum up some suspense.
That leads me to…
Fifth Bottom - Dead Island 2
From a purely functional standpoint, Dead Island 2 doesn’t really do anything wrong. Hitting the zombies is fun, strapping batteries to machetes is fun, walking along beaches is fun. But at the end of the day, functional is all it is. The fun I had with it is not unique to Dead Island 2 and is done better in pretty much every other big zombie release. Dead Island 2 is just a zombie game, with no other thought or creativity poured into it. Doomed to slide out of your brain the moment it’s done.
I’d say to play Dying Light 2 instead but, to be honest, I didn’t have time to play that one either.
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Fifth Top - I’m On Observation Duty 6
This one is a bit of a cheat, as I’ve not actually played that much of number 6 itself. But I haven’t given the previous ones the props they deserve, so sod it, I’m doing it here. I’m on Observation Duty has a unique mechanic - a sort of horror spot-the-difference. You man security cameras, pointing out differences and looking out for intruders. It’s thoroughly unsettling, wonderfully engaging and yet so brutally simple.
It shows the value of a good idea that’s given a lot of room to breathe. You could probably make the case that 6 is little more than a rehash of the previous ones but I don’t care. Just give me more.
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Fourth Bottom - Rogue Cards
I feel a little bad about this one, not least because the developer sent me a classy email after the review went up. Still, this was a year that was saturated in roguelikes. I’ve lost count of the amount of cards I’ve thrown at bad guys. It’s like if Vegas was taken over by goblins. Rogue Cards drew the short straw, unfortunately, by being a below average roguelike in a saturated year.
Its runs all feel a bit repetitive, it doesn’t look that great and the good ideas it has are dragged down by the rest of it. My fondest hope is that it becomes a learning experience and those lessons can be fed into another bloody genre.
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Fourth Top - DREDGE
I only learned about DREDGE days before I reviewed it. I just liked the title. It turned out to be an absolutely wonderful game and one of the few titles this year that I played after I had finished reviewing it. It’s a lesson in how horror can build up at the pace of the player, as that first mutated fish you catch changes everything. There’s no going back after fishing a bloated, pus-filled mass out of your nets.
It also potentially shows that nearly anything can go together with a life simulator. Eldritch horror? Why not? I’ll be over here playing fish tetris when you need me.
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Third Bottom - Nimbus INFINITY
Part of why I started reviewing games was to dip my toes into genres I’d never experienced before. You never know when you might find something new and exciting. Probably won’t be the Mecha genre though, going by Nimbus INFINITY, which was a lesson in crashes, awkward writing and awful voice acting. My only real memory from the game is the mispronunciation of ‘biplanes’, which really isn’t a good thing.
The combat did have its moments but really just boiled down to locking on and mashing the fire button. Final boss fight was a pain in the arse too.
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Third Top - The Talos Principle 2
At one point in my life, I considered doing a philosophy degree. I’d quite enjoyed it in school. Decided against it though, which was a shame. It might have helped me appreciate what The Talos Principle 2 was banging on about. I joke - I did genuinely appreciate the philosophy in The Talos Principle 2. Its characters were deep and the central issue of growth vs. destruction gets more relevant by the day.
It also had some excellent laser puzzles, even if it can’t find many philosophical things to say about them.
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Second Bottom - Assassin’s Creed Mirage
Might be a controversial one this, but Ubisoft has ten times the resources of others on this list and they still churned out something that’s fundamentally shallow. Frustrating, given the interesting setting. Basim is a suitable face for it, being as deep as a Disney prince, who spends his every second of screen time talking about how he wants a better future. Too busy for a personality, bless him. Then all the side-content followed suit by being as shallow as a teaspoon.
It was a brave return to the original formula and I applaud that. Assassin’s Creed desperately needs to get rid of its bloat. Still, this feels more like a chicken bone thrown to fans of the original rather than any real attempt to rekindle the fire.
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Second Top - Blasphemous 2
A very valid criticism of Blasphemous 2 is that it’s little more than an extension of the original. My rebuttal is simple: I don’t care. If I had found a suitable replacement for Blasphemous in the meantime, it might have held water but I didn’t. Blasphemous’ world is idiosyncratic and I’ll take whatever I can get. It helps that Blasphemous 2 did a lot to make its gameplay a lot smoother and a lot less frustrating.
Granted, it did that by shaving down the ‘Vania’ part of Metroidvania. Maybe I’m just more of a Metroid Man?
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The Bottom! - Anthology of Fear
Horror is one of my favourite genres - certainly my favourite film genre. So I’m always inclined to be a bit more critical towards it. That certainly didn’t do Anthology of Fear any favours but you don’t need to be a critic to see its flaws. Brutally short with barely any interaction on our part, it fails to either engage or scare. You’d get much the same experience by browsing the new releases on itch.io and at least they would be free.
Looked nice though.
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The Top! - World of Horror
It’s rare to stumble across a game that could have been personally made for you. I’m a huge fan of Junji Ito-style body-horror and World of Horror serves that up in a unique style. It somehow preserves the unsettling, skin-crawling feeling that comes from reading body horror manga, which is no mean feat. I think it’s down to the stories contained within and the constant knowledge that death is never too far away.
It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and the graphics and general feel might turn some people off but I’ll be damned if it didn’t charm the hell out of me. Just as well, seeing as I’d been following it for about half a decade.
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So that’s the year - even I wasn’t expecting to put a horror game as the first place on both lists but, hey, it’s been a scary year. Here’s to 2024. I hope you have fun with your 2024 games. I’ll be busy saving my pennies for all the 2023 releases I missed. If you come back next year, I might even be able to tell you how Like a Dragon: Gaiden is.
For fun, here's a quick list of others that didn't quite make it to my top list:
Like a Dragon: Ishin - was a lot of fun, but the updated faces ruined the plot a bit.
Dave the Diver - the best game that I keep forgetting about.
Riftbound - mistakenly got a code for it this year but released last year, so wasn't viable. Wonderful tower defence game. What Plants vs. Zombies 2 should have been.
Astrea: Six Sided Oracles - The best roguelite I played this (last?) year. Maybe because it didn't use cards.
TEVI - an adorable metroidvania with great movement, if flat combat
Hope 2024 brings good things!
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teaandgames · 4 months
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TEVI Review!
A metroidvania that's chock full of bunnies!
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teaandgames · 4 months
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My Time At Sandrock
I revewied the premiere Sand Simulator, My Time At Sandrock. It has consumed most of my week.
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teaandgames · 6 months
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Assassin's Creed Mirage Review!
I'm in Baghdad today, stabbing some masked jerks. It's... okay.
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teaandgames · 7 months
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Review - KILLBUG
Truly a game that does what it says on the tin. You kill bugs. It's fun.
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teaandgames · 7 months
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Review - Verne: The Shape of Fantasy
Join actual-real Jules Verne as he strolls through his own stories!
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teaandgames · 7 months
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Review - Sephonie
From the completely opposite spectrum to Blasphemous 2, here's Sephonie. A game that has a lot of interesting things to say, but sadly isn't too interesting to play.
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teaandgames · 7 months
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Review - Blasphemous 2
Forgot to post my last couple of reviews up, whoops. Blame it on starting a new job.
Anyway, here's Blasphemous 2, featuring a man upchucking some eternal honey. Among other things.
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teaandgames · 8 months
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Krzyzacy - The Knights of the Cross
I reviewed a card-based battler with some shockingly well-endowed nuns!
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teaandgames · 8 months
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Review - Nimbus Infinity
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teaandgames · 8 months
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Riftbound (2023) - Review
Alright, let's get this out of the way straight away. I'm going to describe a game and I want you to think of the first title that comes to your mind. Okay? Right. It's a lane shooter where you fight off waves of undead by collecting energy from plants. Got the name? Great. Well, the next name you'll think of will now be Riftbound. That's no bad thing.
In truth, I didn't realise how much I wanted something like Riftbound until I started playing it. If, like me, you weren't too impressed with PopCap's outings after the first, then it's one to take a look at. It's by no means a carbon copy though, so let's stop comparing it to something else and take it by its own merits. To be honest, it caught me a little by surprise.
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Riftbound sells itself as 'rogue-lite action strategy game with deck building'. Honestly, it's a bit of an undersell. We're getting to the point where the genre of 'rogue-lite' makes things less specific rather than more. In fact, Riftbound is a game of two quite expansive halves. The rogue-lite half comes through with a mode called 'Summoner's Path'. This is a succession of battles and events, where summons and spells are scooped up as you go, ending in a boss fight at the end.
It works really well, thanks to the core gameplay loop. If you're new to lane shooters, let me give you the rundown. The battlefield is split down into a number of lanes, which range from three to five in this case. From the right-hand side, a horde of skeletons will start marching, with a serious bone to pick with you. Your defences will build up from the left-hand side, starting with some energy generating plants and then moving onto to whichever flavour of elemental you next prefer.
The first layer of challenge is just balancing your energy levels with the increasing enemy horde. Simple skeletons give way to giant lads with axes and bloody annoying mages. The first few minutes become increasingly important as the odds become stacked against you. The way we fight back is through an almost Pokemon-esque mechanic. You scoop up different elementals as you progress and these can evolve down different paths, changing their elemental effects and their attacks. It worked well and forced me to mix up my strategies quite often. No easy thing with someone as resolutely stubborn as me.
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I found success with elementals that could cross lanes. Evolving air elementals created one that would shoot the closest enemy regardless of lane. I paired this with fire elementals, that fired across three lanes. Add in some stone elementals to block enemy progress and you've got a winning recipe. Except when the bloody spear skeletons stroll up. That said, the rogue-lite element of Riftbound invites constant experimentation. You have a choice of one of three elementals, presented as cards, at a time and you need to like it or lump it. Not a bad idea, coming from someone who picks a strategy and pretty much sticks with it.
To be honest though, I spent most of my time with the other half of Riftbound: the shockingly expansive campaign. The plot's not worth dwelling on, but it's a welcome departure from the rogue-lite half. Rather than spells and enemy types thrown at you higgledy-piggledy, it gradually increases the difficulty and gives you the spells you need to combat it. I was genuinely shocked when I saw my playtime was twenty-one hours. I lost track about ten hours ago. Both modes have a layer of simplicity that gives way to a decent depth.
Issues? Well, a few small things. The graphics have a lot of cute elements going on, especially with the basic elementals, but this hasn't stretched to the enemies. The vast majority are just basic skeletons in varying states of undress. A few interesting enemies do appear at the end but when you've got a big clump of enemies, they all look the same. In that vein, I'd also like some sort of indicator as to what lane is going to be attacked first. Otherwise, I either hold back and waste precious time or plop my fire elemental down to singe the grass.
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The other sticky question is that of balance. I've heard some mutterings in the Steam reviews about balance issues but Barrel Smash Studios seem to be very attentive. Whenever a new enemy was introduced, it did tend to blow through my defences but, campaign-wise at least, Riftbound is great at giving you the spells you need to combat it. I recommend burning through the campaign first and using it as the world's longest tutorial for the rogue-lite element. Full disclosure, I did drop the difficulty down a notch about three-quarters through the campaign. This was down to a desire to overcome my ineptitude and beat the thing, though.
In case this isn't coming across in this love-letter of a review, I'm thoroughly charmed by Riftbound. It's a proven core gameplay loop, enhanced by both the evolution aspect and the handling of the rogue-lite element. If you don't want that, you've still got a decent campaign to keep you entertained. It's intense, cute and thoroughly enjoyable, with difficulty served either random or well-managed. While it might have a few issues with the finer polish, Riftbound is a definitely an exemplar in the niche genre of Fauna Vs. Formerly Alive. Summary A well-presented, intense and enjoyable lane shooter, with a few twists. The rogue-lite element is handled well and there's an expansive campaign for those who want more of a traditional feel. Good fun all round. Score 9 / 10 Pros + The core gameplay loop is very enjoyable + The evolution mechanic is a good twist + The art style has cute touches + Expansive campaign, with good difficulty progression + Rogue-lite elements are handled well + Balance is well tweaked Cons - The enemy design is a little lackluster - Some indication of which lane is being attacked would reduce the unfair feeling Riftbound Developer: Barrel Smash Studios Release Date: 12 May 2022 Play it on: Windows
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teaandgames · 9 months
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Recursive Ruin!
I reviewed a game about artistic frustration, guilt and being stuffed into a kaleidoscope!
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teaandgames · 1 year
Link
So, I’m creeping back into writing about games, only this time I’m not propping up the entire website.
Instead, I’m reviewing games over at Movies, Games and Tech. Check it out!
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teaandgames · 1 year
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Revisited - Party Hard 2 (2018)
Party Hard 2 gets under my skin. Not in the good, ‘Ooo, I can’t wait to play that again’ way, mind you. More in the ‘Unexplained Rash’ kind of way. You can be having a perfectly good time when suddenly an itch starts. You try and scratch it and then another itch starts up and before you know it your good mood is gone, and you’re starting to forget what it ever felt like to be non-itchy.
Party Hard 2 is absolutely covered in rashes like these. It’s a bloody shame because when Party Hard 2 actually works then everything is quite nice. But it fumbles so many of the core components that getting to the end feels more like a slog than an enjoyable experience, and all we’re rewarded with is a boss fight that seems to have missed the entire point of the game. It’s frustrating. I felt like there was potential in here, damn it. But the more I played, the more I asked: am I imagining it?
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Party Hard 2 sets its scene the way the original did. A man living through the depressing grind of modern capitalist society is being kept awake every night by his neighbors partying into the early hours. The lack of sleep and his neighbours lack of common decency leads him to do the only sensible thing: slit everyone up proper. The story spirals outwards from there, as our friendly neighborhood serial killer slaughters his way through parties, begins to question why he’s having these tendencies and hunts down the truth.
As stories go, it’s not going to light the world on fire. It’s mainly a loose thread of cutscenes to string one level to the other. It does connect itself nicely to the original but it doesn’t really flesh much out. Nor does it really link to the levels itself, seeing as we’re still going to random places and knifing drug dealers. At one point we go to a cordoned off bridge and kill everyone, ‘cause, why not I guess? The drug arc makes it feel like they tried to set the protagonist up as an anti-hero but forget to really characterize him as either hero or villain. Serial killers are renowned for having charm. Darius is a cinderblock with a knife taped to it.
Using said knife has its moments, mind. The gameplay is Party Hard classic. You’re let loose in the midst of a party and given a big knife. You can either take down the target list or just say screw it and stab everyone. Though as most of these people are just regular people, if they see you slitting up their mates then they’re going to A) Run away and B) call the police. And if the police catch you then it’s game over. So you better get used to stuffing bodies into dumpsters.
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When Party Hard 2 is working as intended, this works great. The stealth is fairly streamlined and there’s a good variety of weapons, traps and body stuffing spots. Unfortunately, Party Hard 2 tries way too hard to push the envelope and this leads to a lot of frustrations. Prime example, security guards are introduced from about the mid-point onwards. These guys can spot you a mile away and will one-hit kill you on sight. Oh and they’re pretty much unkillable half the time, unless you get lucky with traps or have a grenade to hand.
Now you may be thinking, so what? Just stealth around until you find something to explode them with. And yeah, but that leads me into my biggest, juiciest complaint with Party Hard 2 - there’s no checkpoint system. You see, stealth games like this require quite a big time investment so you can strike at the right time. It could easily take twenty to thirty minutes to complete a level. When you get to minute twenty-eight and an overpowered security guard happens to spot a tiny piece of murderous leg from around a doorway, it can get very bloody frustrating when you have to go right back to the sodding beginning and do all the same stuff again. Not to mention you can die by your own traps, so now even innocent experimentation can set you back in a massive way.
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Games like Hotline Miami or DEADBOLT get around constant deaths by getting us back into the action quickly. They reward experimentation and adaptation. Party Hard 2 doesn’t do that, so every time you try something new there’s a constant nagging fear that it’s going to backfire. That kills it for me. The jovial music, silly graphics and bloodthirsty story try their damndest to make me enjoy it but I can’t. There’s way too much dragging me back, so I can’t quite enjoy the spree.
Much like its predecessor, it’s a game that has you spend your whole time sitting around waiting for someone to walk into a shrub so you can stuff them in a dumpster. There’s a plethora of stealth games that do that better and even more games that do the whole ‘nutty serial killer’ thing better. The final nail in the coffin was the final boss fight. 
I’d like to meet whoever decided that the final fight in a game like this should be against a magic wielding therapist that has you standing in one place for minutes at a time.
I’ve got a lovely dumpster I’d like to introduce them to. Pros - The stealth is well implemented - The actual murderin’ feels fun - Not a bad sense of humour - Music is a highlight Cons - No checkpoints add to the frustration - Levels and story don’t really match up - Some enemy types are just annoying - Story and protagonist are farily humdrum Party Hard 2 Developer: Pinokl Games, Kverta, Hologryph Publisher: tinyBuild Games Release Date: 25th Oct 2018 Play it on: Android, Fire OS, iOS, Linux, Windows, OS X, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch Played on: PC
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teaandgames · 3 years
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Review - Yakuza 3 Remastered (2009 - 2019)
My quest to break every single bicycle in Kamurocho has reached an interesting point. Yakuza 3 Remastered. When talking about the Yakuza series, this seems to be the point where people make that little waving motion by their throats and talks about ‘skipping’ come into play. In the beautiful landscape that is Yakuza, it seems to be the consensus that Yakuza 3 is the nadir. So it was with some trepidation that I fired it up for the first time, expecting a lesson in frustration and disappointment.
It wasn’t that. Certainly, it was a bit of a drop down from the heavy-hitter that was Yakuza Kiwami 2 but that’s to be expected. This isn’t a new game built on the ashes of the original, it’s just a remaster. A new coat of paint and some PC optimisation. Once you get past that though, you’re left with a fairly pleasant game. I can understand why people are down on it but for those of us new to the series - who were left with a hole in our heart after Kiwami 2 - then Yakuza 3 will satisfy. For casual fans of the series though, I wouldn’t blame you for giving it a miss.
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Let’s unpack that thought by breaking it down into the three main parts of a Yakuza game: the combat, the side content and the plot. We’ll start with the bit that everyone knows about. The punching, the kicking and the bicycles. Yakuza 3 takes us back to the good old days of the Dragon Engine, before Kiwami 2 filled all its enemies with helium and replaced Kiryu’s fists with jackhammers. It’s actually quite refreshing to be back, especially as we have a few new Heat Actions to play with.
If you’re unfamiliar with these, you basically manauevor an enemy into position, press a button and watch as Kiryu gives your enemy a slow, painful death. It’s nice. A personal favourite of mine was used when running towards four enemies. Kiryu decides a takes a leaf out of anime and flashes between enemies with supersonic speed, knocking each to the ground. Couple that with the usual strike-block-parry system that the Dragon Engine brings in, and you have a fairly satisfying game.
Keep in mind though that this is no Yakuza 0. At this point, it’s still finding its feet. As such, it brings along a few annoyances for the ride. The most notable being the blocking. This is usually the primary reason that people hate on Yakuza 3. Every single bloody enemy blocks. Even your lowest, gruntiest nobody seems to be able to block the heavy blows of 'punch-out-a-tiger’ Kiryu. This makes fights take twice as long, even when enemies aren’t stunlocking you. See, when you knock enemies into walls, you can keep hitting them until they eventually drop. Regrettably, they can do the same to you. Ouch.
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So the combat is okay, nothing amazing. Let’s check the side content next, because I want to save the plot until last. Well, it’s clear that Yakuza 3 is trying to push the boat out when it comes to stuff to do. We’ve got the usual pool, darts, bowling and baseball. Golf also returns, but this time it’s a full on golf course. Multiple clubs, windspeed, flagpoles in holes, the whole nine yards. It’s nice. As is the Coliseum, which is pretty identical to how it was in the Kiwami games. We even have a precursor to the hostess club mini-game found in the later titles. Essentially, you work to turn a single hostess into the best one around by dressing them up and teaching them how to chat to men. It’s not really my cup of tea.
The side stories are more why I’m here but they’re a bit of a mixed bag. There are some nice ones, such as the ones surrounding Kiryu’s orphanage. Oh yeah, he has an orphanage. We’ll get to that. Far too many of them are just excuses for a quick fight though, without much substance. There are some massive exceptions of course, including the almost Ace Attorney-esque side quest where we investigate a murder in Cafe Alps. Like everything else though, the side content in Yakuza 3 Remastered falls short of greatness, relying too much on the classic ‘Kiryu gets scammed’ plot point.
Well if the combat and side content doesn’t quite blow me away, what about the plot? Oh boy. To damn with faint praise, it had a lot of potential. It opens with our man Kazuma Kiryu leaving Kamorocho to run an orphanage in Okinawa. This section drags on a bit but it sets the scene wonderfully, and Downtown Ryukyu has a very different feel to Kamorocho. It was quite refreshing. Unfortunately, it’s when Yakuza 3 tries to bring in its conflict that everything gets a bit muddled. It starts off with Kiryu’s land being threatened, due to a pair of politicians attempting to force through expansion plans in Okinawa. That’s pretty fertile ground for a plotline, to be honest.
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But this is a Yakuza game of course, so the Tojo clan must swing into things. A chairman gets shot, everyone is trading insults and Goro Majima continues to be an extremely handsome man. The usual tangle of families and backdoor schemes that the Tojo clan brings along is then further complicated by the introduction of the honest-to-goodness CIA, who are tracking an international weapons dealer. This leads Kiryu to talk to one of the big politicians. They even bond for a moment. A shame then the man is never brought up again after the act ends.
It’s a shame all around really, because the orphanage side of things sets up some heavy, emotional gut punches. Kiryu is just a sweet man who cannot catch a break, no matter what he does. It’s a shame this part of the plot is wrapped up in so many other threads. It hurts the main antagonist the most. A smart, well-spoken man who had the potential to act as another foil to Kiryu, especially given the key points in his backstory. Instead, he’s shunted to the background until the last quarter of the game, losing out on some key characterisation. His potential is wasted with his ending obvious from ten miles away.
I really want to be able to recommend Yakuza 3 Remastered. It’s a good remaster, if nothing else, with the graphical downgrade from Kiwami 2 not being that noticeable after a while. Unfortunately, it’s far too unfocused. The combat brings along too many frustrations, the side content too often falls into a set formula and the plot tangles things up too much. I’m fond of it, but I can’t say it blew me away. Still, take comfort in the fact that a weak Yakuza game is still head-and-shoulders above many others. Plus the Tiger Drop is still broken as hell. We’ll always have that. Pros - The combat is exciting, with some great heat actions, but... - The side content is nice and varied but... - The plot has a lot of potential but... - Some good new characters (can’t say more though!) - A decent remaster - fair graphics and no performance issues. Cons - ...A lot of the fights are frustrating due to blocking and stunning. - ...the sidestories fall back into some bad habits. - ... it juggles too many plotlines and can’t keep them all up. Yakuza 3 Remastered Developer: Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio Publisher: SEGA Release Date: February 26th 2009 (original), August 20th 2019 (Remastered) Play it on: PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Windows Played on: Windows
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