textsfromthemcu

[textsfromthemcu]

steve rogers + punching fascists in the face

#that’s my boy #steve rogers #captain america #not textsfromthemcu

[textsfromthemcu]

#RIP #chadwick boseman #black panther #not textsfromthemcu

[textsfromthemcu]

Stephen: I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.

Wong: That is the opposite of a normal text message.

[textsfromthemcu]

Clint: Met a beautiful Russian woman two nights in a row. I may never come back.

[textsfromthemcu]

Valkyrie, to Thor: Oh don’t you blame getting arrested on me. Loki suggested the penis game and we all know I’m a strong competitor

[textsfromthemcu]

Mantis, to Drax: You thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.

[textsfromthemcu]

Gamora: I have resting bitch face. Nebula has I want y’all to die face. It’s a subtle difference

[textsfromthemcu]

Gamora: He obviously doesn’t know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered

[textsfromthemcu]

Peter: Excuse me, I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house. I think I can do anything

[textsfromthemcu]

Natasha: Kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party

[textsfromthemcu]

Sam: I can handle it. I’m made of spite and hot wings.

[textsfromthemcu]

Pepper: As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren’t suitable for “intoxacapitated” people...and then promptly fell down them.

Tony: So I WAS right.

[textsfromthemcu]

Tony, to Stephen: You’re a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.

[textsfromthemcu]

Wanda, about Vision: It I have to put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.

[textsfromthemcu]

Wanda, about Vision: I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I’m not sure if I’m offended or pleasantly surprised

[textsfromthemcu]

Wong: Just because I’m not a monk anymore doesn’t mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.

Wong: Which is fantastic by the way.

[textsfromthemcu]

Tony, to Pepper: Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbent surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3