textsfromtheusshephaestus

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Maxwell: At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Kepler laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.

#Wolf 359 #Maxwell #Kepler #Alana Maxwell #Warren Kepler #SI 5 #(847)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Cutter doing an employee review: You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.

#Wolf 359 #Cutter #Marcus Cutter #Goddard Futuristics #(201)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Bob: All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head

#Wolf 359 #Bob #Bob the Alien #Aliens #(613)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Bob: can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe

#Wolf 359 #Bob #Bob the Alien #Aliens #(530)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Minkowski: Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.

#Wolf 359 #Minkowski #Renée Minkowski #Hephaestus Crew #(870)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Eiffel: it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body

#Wolf 359 #Eiffel #Douglas Eiffel #Doug Eiffel #Hephaestus Crew #(330) #(I'm returned!)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Lovelace: God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.

#Wolf 359 #Lovelace #Isabel Lovelace #(609)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Jacobi: I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood

#Wolf 359 #Jacobi #Daniel Jacobi #nsfw text #(314) #(...domcobi tho)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Minkowski, attempting to communicate with the space mutant plant monster: It won't talk to me.

Minkowski: It'll only communicate using scissors

#Wolf 359 #Minkowski #Blessie #Renee Minkowski #Space Mutant Plant Monster #Hephaestus Crew #(973) #(yes the plant monster is part of the crew)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Jacobi: He's a drill sergeant!

Jacobi: The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.

#Wolf 359 #Jacobi #Daniel Jacobi #SI 5 #(210) #(this one might be a repeat but idc)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Minkowski: I'm going to be there later than expected.

Minkowski: There was a yo-yo incident...

#Wolf 359 #Minkowski #Renee Minkowski #Hephaestus Crew #(530)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Jacobi: Hung over.

Jacobi: Bed full of legos for some reason.

Jacobi: Not getting up.

Jacobi: Come build stuff with me.

#wolf 359 #Jacobi #Daniel Jacobi #SI 5 #(828) #Jacobi: Makes a lego bomb

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Kepler: if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die

#Wolf 359 #Kepler #Warren Kepler #SI 5 #(804)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Eiffel: my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible.

Eiffel: I have my priorities.

#Wolf 359 #Eiffel #Douglas Eiffel #Hephaestus Crew #(810)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Minkowski, scowling at Eiffel: You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.

#Wolf 359 #Minkowski #Eiffel #Renee Minkowski #Douglas Eiffel #Hephaestus Crew #(646)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Minkowski, talking to Eiffel, head in her hands: Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today

#Wolf 359 #Minkoiwski #Eiffel #Renee Minkowski #Douglas Eiffel #Hephaestus Crew #Drug Use Mention #(310)

[textsfromtheusshephaestus]

Jacobi, handing out water bottles: I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.

#Wolf 359 #Jacobi #Daniel Jacobi #SI 5 #(201)