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Falling in love with the “make your own family” trope and crying because I haven’t had friends like that since middle school. Being grown is lonely

#college #writer #writeblr #big sad #sad thoughts

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I deadass don’t know what I’m doing in college. Like wtaf is happening

Also I forgot abt this blog and haven’t touched it in a year

#college #student life #help me

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25 years of ads peeled away

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Little update for those of you struggling with your scores, I just want you to know that I love you and I’m proud of you and that it was not your fault if you did poorly. Again, it was incredibly inconsiderate the way College Board decided to do the 2020 AP exams, you’re a freakin champion for making it out of your exam(s) in one piece.

I suppose a lot of us were hoping they wouldn’t score us as harshly as they typically would given circumstances, but as far as I and my classmates can tell, they cut us no slack whatsoever even considering our test environments and lack of proper teaching. Which, to me, just goes to show what a disgusting, money hungry organization College Board is to rake in absurd amounts of money from kids who aren’t even going to get the college credits they deserve.

In English Language and Composition, I came out with a 3. Not bad, but I scored a 4 on a practice at the beginning of the term. So personally I think it’s unreasonable to assume that I would’ve gone down a point but I still got my credit so it’s fine.

HOWEVER

Not a single person I’ve spoken to has gotten above a 1 on the APUSH 2020 Exam. You’d think with so many kids scoring so low they’d say “Hey, maybe this exam wasn’t as effective as we thought!” Which is what many people were saying immediately following the exams, realizing how ineffective one essay question was and the fact that the software hadn’t been tested properly. But of course College Board stuck their head in the sand and chose to cling to and defend their mistake instead of taking the time and resources to fix it.

You are still valid even if you didn’t score as high as you wanted to, an AP exam does not negate your intelligence and you should know that I’m proud of all of you who stuck it out last semester and kept working hard despite the strange circumstances. ❤️

I have a little over 24 hours to be ready for this apush exam and, if I’m completely honest, I’m not going to be. I looked at my mom and was like “I really do not think I’m going to do great on this” and bless her soul, she was like “It’s okay, it doesn’t affect your final grade. We don’t have to tell your dad if you fail, but I don’t think you’re going to.”

You gotta understand that it’s not your fault. Most of us haven’t been in class at all the entire fourth term. For those of us in semester long classes, that means you missed HALF of the class, and you were still expected to teach it to yourself. And those who take year long classes, that’s still 1/4 of the class! And they decided that it was acceptable to have us prepare by ourselves at home, shorten the time constraints, and not implement a curve. No one was properly prepared for this exam. It’s a new experience for everyone. And it’s okay.

You are going to be okay. Do not let a 45 minute written assignment scare you. It won’t hurt you. Do your best.

Your best is not working yourself to the edge of a mental breakdown. It isn’t losing sleep to cram for the test. It isn’t crying every time you think about the test because you’re afraid to fail.

It is no longer your best at that point.

Your best is doing the most you can do without self destructing. For me, my best is currently resting and watching cartoons to avoid stressing about tomorrow’s exam anymore than I already have.

Take a deep breath, remember that this is ONE CLASS, and that it will NOT harm your future as much as you think it will.

Read a bit, make some notes, do a practice DBQ, relax. Get some sleep, don’t forget to eat. And don’t self destruct. That is the best you can do for yourself right now. You got this. ❤️

Good luck to everyone taking AP exams this year, I believe in you! It’s been a struggle, but we’re in this together.

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Constantly torn between being terrified because my anxiety telling me everything I do matters and being crushed because my depression is telling me nothing I do matters

Where is the logic

#mental health #mentally ill #anxiety #anxious #depression #depressed #big sad #big mood #why am i this way #send heeeelp #existential anxiety #existential dread #existential horror #existential crisis #why do i feel like this #why do i exist

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i feel like i’m in that spongebob episode where squidward was time traveling then he broke the space time continuum and ended up in that blank white room

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sometimes i wonder if im adhd cause i see lengthy posts and my brain just kinda

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The Hunger Games, Actual Teen style!

On the left, 15-year-old Josh Hutcherson.

On the right, 16-year-old Jennifer Lawrence.

Think how much creepier it would be to see them killing other kids when they look so squishy-cheeked and little.

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Watch: Poet Porsha Olayiwola heartbreakingly reminds us all that black women’s lives matter too. 

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I have 2 extremes when it comes to getting work done

1 is me spinning in my desk chair with the mental capacity of a potted plant

And 2 is focusing so hard on what I’m working on that it causes me physical pain to stop even if it’s to eat, shower, etc

I’m currently dealing with 2, in a scenario in which I told myself when I sat down to write (3 1/2 hours ago) that i would write for an hour and my word count goal for the night was 1000, and I’ve quadrupled that and can’t make myself go to bed even tho it’s 1:30 am

Edit: forced myself to get into bed and immediately started writing on my phone. Send help

#adhd #living with adhd #adhd post #mental health #mentally drained #writing #writers #writer #writeblr #my writing #writers on tumblr #anxiety

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This is why my boyfriend is the best boyfriend no 🧢

#my writing #writeblr #writer #writers #writing #relationship #relationship goals #best friend

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Would also be really annoying if they wore heat resistant gloves to throw back the hot tear gas canisters and if this got shared to all those protesting…

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The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

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YOURE TELLING ME THIS IS WHAT THEY'VE BEEN SHOOTING PROTESTERS WITH????

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You know how fashion trends repeat themselves every 25 years or so (i.e. scrunchies, mom jeans, flare leg pants, tie dye, etc)?

When is it going to be socially acceptable to wear extravagant Victorian era dresses? Why isn’t that still a thing. I want to wear a big poofy party dress and not get funny stares from people it’s not FAIR