thatdogmagic

[thatdogmagic]

This is the last post I plan on making about the current situation.

I've been trying to recall what it is that might be getting repeated, and there's a couple instances I can think of that are pretty ripe for taking snips:

There are chat logs where I made unkind generalizations about autistic cis men, in the context of the majority of my experiences with them being largely negative, and being relieved that I had a space where my own neurodiversity had room to unfold.

She has chatlogs where I commented on not fully understanding trans men who still veered ultra-femmy, even though I don't have any trouble wrapping my head around butch trans women. That contradiction made me think about it quite a bit, and ultimately decided it wasn't a great opinion to have/was mostly just some lingering All Things Being Binary shit I still find myself unpacking.

I'm sure there's other thorny conversations that can be pruned for content, but I'm having trouble thinking of what it is beyond interpersonal clashes and, yeah. I've already seen the depths of missing context there.

There is no better example, in fact, than the comparison of shadowy werewolves with glowing eyes/teeth. It was taken from a concept that was tabled after approval was actively sought because there was a recognized stylistic overlap. Since 'shadow werewolf with glowing eyes/teeth' is a very common visual element in a lot of werewolf artwork, we also went on to discuss when those visual elements would best be avoided, and when they could be put to use.

This wasn't mentioned in the original comparison posts. Nor was it mentioned that it was never intended for public posting. It was a thumbnail idea for promotional material, drawn over a month ago - and nearly a full year after Lacey's skin tone changed - and it was quietly set aside in favor of other ideas.

Bottom line, I don't have any control over what she does with what she has. I don't have any control over what people think about it. But I do have control over what I do with me, and what I plan to do is stay off social media for the forseeable future, and keep working on the projects that matter to me, like I always have.

In the meantime, if you know me off social media:

I do not want to be contacted about any additional escalation

I do not need to know about any further instances of reposted chatlogs or artwork

It's kind of you to want to know my side of the story, but for my own reasons I'd rather not go into it beyond what I've already posted.

If we discussed commission work that you no longer want, please let me know ASAP so I can remove you from the list I have prepped for when I get back to taking those. Those of you who contacted me about it already have my email address.

All that being said, I understand if even with context, some comments lose people. I'm not gonna hold that against anyone. Where I'm at in my own development is probably not going to be enough for some, and that's fine. It doesn't have to be, and it won't stop me from continuing to try.

End of the day, keep in mind that this is still a personal altercation being made public, with everything that entails.

PS - If any other art is being posted: understand that it is being done without permission, after Ependa and I both actively tried to delete those pieces off the server, stated we'd done so intentionally, and then actively requested those files be deleted off the server/her machine when we were made aware of the fact that she was using third party plugins to retain access.

[thatdogmagic]

So, there's some posting going around, and after being alerted to what exactly is being made public, it's pretty clear I can't go with my initial inclination which is 'leave this alone.'

First things first:

a) I'm not going to fight any accusations of having done something potentially racist. I'm a white person raised very white; when I was made aware that the default ways I was responding to things were reading very poorly in the context of a white person and a black person, I apologized. No matter how I feel about what's happening *currently*, I still am sorry about it. I really hadn't thought of how it would come off until I saw it in hindsight.

I can't say for sure what all is being referenced aside from that instance. I'm not going to be the best judge, for the reasons mentioned above. The best I can do is absorb, apologize, keep learning to be better, and continue to chip away at the boneheaded 40yo white person shit.

b) re: ableism, the sad irony of the screengrab posted is that I was having an autistic meltdown at the time (which, no, is not an excuse). Use of the r-slur, in reference to myself, is a very sure sign I'm in the middle of one, reaching for an impact word and choosing a really terrible one. Like the verbal equivalent of hitting yourself, giving voice to what are, yes, at root, ableist thoughts that live in my head about my own diagnosis. I can and do get very frustrated with my autism sometimes, especially when I 'fail' to learn fast enough to manage it (read: fail to prevent a meltdown).

I'm also genuinely sorry people had to see that, both people in the chat and now, everywhere. I did, yes, delete it because I hated it being there, and I didn't want especially that to be the footprint I left on the server, if it was ever repurposed/the channels weren't recycled (brief note on that later).

Anyway yeah it's something I really need to work on. And it's disheartening to see it cherrypicked when everyone there was aware of the context, but yea; if you see some really wild shit from screencaps, please keep in mind that a lot of it has already been extremely cherrypicked/context is going to be missing. If the whole conversation isn't present, ask to see it.

That's the heaviest stuff that needed addressing.

The accusations of character theft are another thing, because that involves Ependa, and a conversation I had personally with Jackal that was settled amicably a year ago. Or so I thought.

It's the one conversation I did think to save in its entirety, because I just-- had a feeling it might end up being in the cherrypicked pile, or removed from the record entirely. I didn't expect to have to need it this soon, but here we are.

So here it is, in its entirety:

All of that is true, on my end. I was the one who told Ependa to go with a darker complexion on Lacey, and it really didn't quite occur to me at the time that it'd be much of an issue. It should have. The characters are distinct to me in a variety of ways, but as said in the screengrabs, it's a small pond. Past that, if there was more we could do to differentiate then it wasn't discussed with either of us, and we were both open to making further alterations as-needed.

This is not the first time this conversation has been had among werewolf creators, fwiw, or the first time we've had to chat amongst ourselves about potential crossover. I've had to have a similar talk with another artist I know and respect because there were a few too many similarities going on with a set of pieces I was already working on.

Ependa had to recently have that conversation with Trashasaurus (which I'm paraphrasing a Ependa's request), re: commissions that had requested a character that had taken a lot of visual inspiration from both Lin and Toska. She'd noticed Toska's traits and vibe and wasn't entirely comfortable with it, and upon learning they had been requested asked Trashasaurus not to take on those commissions anymore. Trashasaurus agreed and that seemed to be the end of it, save to drop some warning about the 'Lacey talk' which-- well. See above. That's it, in its entirety.

If Ependa wants to post the logs of her conversation, she can, but I'll leave that up to her.

So, that's the heart of the matter at the moment.

It's yet another fallout of yet another failed project by yet another group of artists. It's a tale as old as time, and I would've really loved to have not given it fuel, but the r-slur thing backed me into a corner and needed to be addressed. And if that was being addressed, then others things needed to be addressed, too.

The thing about character theft, though-- yeah, IDK. If there was a problem, there was a year to solve it, and the offer made to post publicly about the oops/acknowledge it right there in that moment was genuine. So far as anyone knew, this had all been settled, and any time it was brought up after there were a million assurances that it wasn't an issue.

Last: I deleted my presence on the server because I a) wasn't sure if it was going to be repurposed and wanted a lot of very personal conversations/old images removed if that happened, b) was frankly concerned about something like this happening; cherrypicked conversations getting tossed up online if things got any worse. I used undiscord, which deletes chronologically, because deleting everything is easier than finding specific conversations/image files.

Because the worst of the fights happened last, well. Yeah it's gonna look like I'm deleting the worst parts first.

I also wouldn't have willingly agreed to be on a server using third party logging software/deleted message retrieval plugins, either, had I known that was in play, but that's a 'live and learn' moment for me, unfortunately.

Anyway that's it, that's all. I can't tell anyone how to think or feel about any of this. I'll be here and will continue to post art, though, for those who still feel like sticking around.

#admin #reblogs off

[thatdogmagic]

[ Lacey x Phoebe ]

Sometimes you just gotta draw your blorbos as charr

#weekday reblab

[thatdogmagic]

(Babylon 5) Commander, be careful where your mind wanders. Especially while that pretty little telepath is around. (NO SPOILERS PLEASE I'm still in early S2 IDK what happens from there!!!!!!)

Do not repost or use my art

#this deserves to stay present on my dash for days on end #bless u for ur service

[thatdogmagic]

[ Lacey x Phoebe ]

Sometimes you just gotta draw your blorbos as charr

#guild wars 2 #gw2 #charr #gw2 charr #big cats #thatartmagic #ch: Phoebe #guest ch: Lacey #i don't make the rules

[thatdogmagic]

🐱CHARRTY TIME🐱

Characters belong to: @commanderhorncleaver (Gaius), @thatdogmagic (Lydia), @wilsons-journey (Wilson) & @wisp-enclosure (Lucasta)

#aaaaAAA!! #look at my girl <3 <3 #look how handsome!! <3 <3 <3 #ty ty ;;u;; <3 #ch: Lydia #guild wars 2 #charr

[thatdogmagic]

Portraits from yesterdays Drawartcharty!

Upper row: Gratta Rainsunder @rytlockdripstone , Rin StoneBreaker

Lower row: Sol Torchfire @gooseplumesart , Nyoka Gorefell @nyoka-gorefellrefell

#some quality charr here <3 #marvelous work as always bb <3 <3 #charr #guild wars 2

[thatdogmagic]

A couple of the charr that showed up to the art party! Probably gonna do more of these through the day but wanted to post something while it was still going.

Harrow for @jynxghoststep Caldarus for @sleidog

#morning reblab

[thatdogmagic]

One last one for the night, this time of @dagosart's lovely Chariot.

Not sure if I'll have time for any others, but the ones I managed to get to were really fun to do. Thanks again to the host!

#morning reblab

[thatdogmagic]

DARLIN’ AND HER OTHER NAMES, PART 1: MARTA

The first installment of my new werewolf-western-horror-romance comic is available now on gumroad and itch.io!

www.darlincomic.com

90 pages, mature readers only.

DARLIN’ is intended for mature audiences. This comic contains elements which some readers may find distressing, including: 

murder, gun violence, animal cruelty and animal death, blood, gore, body injury/horror, nudity, and language.

Please proceed mindfully.

Title designs by Binglin Hu.

(Thank you to friends, family, patrons and readers for your patience and support during the making of Part 1! 

I also want to give my immense thanks to Tin House, Mineral School Artist Residency, Artist Trust and MacDowell for providing time, space and support during various stages of Part 1’s progress. It means the world to receive validation for this weird little self-published project.)

[thatdogmagic]

One last one for the night, this time of @dagosart's lovely Chariot.

Not sure if I'll have time for any others, but the ones I managed to get to were really fun to do. Thanks again to the host!

#drawartcharrty #charr #gw2 #gw2 charr #thatartmagic

[thatdogmagic]

Quick addition before naptime of @jollycryptid's Redaar~

More to follow (hopefully! there were so many good toons to draw today)

#guild wars 2 #drawartcharrty #charr #he's napping behind his visor #thatartmagic

[thatdogmagic]

Fast doodles of some of the charr i could get to! (unnamed charr in second piece is A Bunch Of Plantain)

#Fast but they turned out great! #ahhh I'm living for all these Lydia doodles <3

[thatdogmagic]

I'm sad I didn't have enough time to draw more of the charr ladies present at the art party ;;;u;;; There were too many of you!!

For tonight tho we have

Varro Hawkpaw - I'm sorry I didn't catch your blog name, argh Oops All Beans - @vigilbutts Sparrow Dragonheart - @bidilfs

#from the previous art party #still pretty happy with these

[thatdogmagic]

A couple of the charr that showed up to the art party! Probably gonna do more of these through the day but wanted to post something while it was still going.

Harrow for @jynxghoststep Caldarus for @sleidog

#charr #drawartcharrty #guild wars #guild wars 2 #thatartmagic

[thatdogmagic]

some art Charrty Charr! did a little warmup of Cal, which blossomed into the rest of this! come grab your cats :>

#aaaa!!! #aaaaaa!!!!! #tysm op!!! ;;;o;;; #they turned out so lovely! #mashing lydia in everyone's faces aaaaa!!!! XO

[thatdogmagic]

i may doodle some more but for the time being here are my drawings from the art charrty:3

#hey lydia hey <3 <3 #drawartcharrty #tysm op!!