thatweirdsideblog

[thatweirdsideblog]

The sluttiest thing a man can do is sneeze helplessly then trying his best to let out a stutterish apology only for said apology to be interrupted by a second more desperate sneeze. 

[thatweirdsideblog]

people with loud, forceful, productive sneezes who still need to sneeze in multiples must be out to kill me!

[thatweirdsideblog]

a cold so heavy they don't even have a tickle in their nose; the cold just makes them sneeze, over and over, on nothing but pure reflex

[thatweirdsideblog]

a cowboy with hayfever <3

[thatweirdsideblog]

Goofy, golden retriever of a guy who's usually talkative and outgoing, but becomes quiet and withdrawn when he's feeling under the weather

[thatweirdsideblog]

You know what they say about ground being weak to grass 😏 (someone requested R¡ka…you’re a genius)

Don’t reblog to non-kink blogs!

#👌👌

[thatweirdsideblog]

Love how there's fevers and then there's fevers.

How sometimes you have a whumpee who just feels awful and achy and chilly, can't get comfortable and really really don't want to get out of bed because they're dizzy and their legs are all wobbly, and just need someone near them because they're lonlier and clingier than normal but can usually be comforted by a warm hug and some attention, maybe an extra blanket and a gentle fingers stroking their hair

And then there's whumpees who are so, so very sick they literally can't get out of bed even if they want to. Too weak and lightheaded to sit up on their own but so dehydrated they need someone to cradle them in their arms and help them drink, shaking violently from head to foot one minute and sweating through their clothes the second, barely even awake and half trapped in fever dreams that manifest as terrifying hallucinations the second they're conscious, skin horribly hot no matter how many cold cloths the caretaker gives them, unable to do anything but lie in bed with their eyes squeezed shut, whimpering in pain and discomfort

...And they're both amazing

#true that <3

[thatweirdsideblog]

@empresskaze requested some sick Simon, so here we go... 😌

#<3

[thatweirdsideblog]

Someone whose voice gives away their cold as soon as they speak - either because they've almost lost it entirely, or it's changed in pitch and timbre, or they're just so stuffed up. This means that they have to apologetically confess to it, even if they're doing a good job of not looking as though they're under the weather.

"Sorry." Sniff. Swallow. "I'm getting over a cold."

[thatweirdsideblog]

someone chatting away in between a lingering cough after a rough few days of illness, too eager about feeling like themself again to be self-conscious about the stuffiness still lining their consonants

#yes <3

[thatweirdsideblog]

I do love the sense of inescapability when it comes to stirred-up dust.

[thatweirdsideblog]

less-than-kind responses to someone sneezing/coughing/sounding ill

"are you quite finished?"

"do you mind?"

"would you please keep it down"

"can't you do something about that?"

"control yourself"

"either blow your nose or get yourself out of earshot. I'm trying to concentrate here"

"so are you planning on stopping anytime soon or...?"

"that's... really rather unpleasant"

"can you not?"

"enough already"

"shush"

"oh for fuck's sake...!"

"thanks for that"

"don't"

"that's going to get very old very quickly"

"ugh"

"please cover your mouth"

"that's disgusting"

"again? really?"

*sigh + eyeroll*

[thatweirdsideblog]

a little allergy thing, messy and terribly self-indulgent

Their hayfever has already been driving them up the wall this spring, so hearing the pollen count described as “off the charts” this morning had filled them with a distinctly itchy sense of dread. By some miracle—the miracle of an indoor work environment and semi-effective antihistamines—they manage to get through the day without minimal incident…but the end of the day brings issues. Their supposedly long-acting medication is wearing off and, well, they can’t stay in the office forever. Out into the pollen-filled world it is.

It’s just as unbearable as they expected—perhaps even more so. On the crowded bus home, it takes all their willpower keep the feathery pressure deep in their nose from bursting into what’s sure to be a spectacular sneezing fit. The short walk from their stop to their apartment has them pressing a worn tissue tightly against their dripping nose. Even the smallest sniffle is sure to set them off, but they’re so, so close to privacy and fresh tissues. If they can just hold off a little longer…

They don’t bother with the elevator once in their building, instead taking the two flights of stairs to their floor in a near run, the anticipation of release making it all the more difficult to hold back. By the time they reach their door, they’re approaching the tipping point. In their desperation trying to rush the keys into the lock, the fumble and drop them. The unanticipated split second of delay is all it takes.

The first sneezes are too close together to count out and nothing short of explosive, bursting wetly through the useless tissue and into their hand. Their groan of disgust is cut off at the start by another flurry, not quite as rapid as the first but still ever so violent. The sneezes tear through their throat and bend them in half, caught again in a handful of ripped tissue and the built up results of a pollen count higher than they should have tried to brave. They barely manage switching their hand for their sleeve before the next round hits.

Even as shame and disgust rise up, a distant part of them calls to simply sit on the hallway floor and ride this fit out. They’re tempted, truly, but there’s no end to it in sight and already their sleeve is nearly wrecked. If there are tissues buried somewhere in their bag, they’re in no state to search for them. There’s no telling what their neighbours might think upon seeing them in such a state. Even if those in the apartments next door to theirs must be used to the sound of their allergies by now, it’s another thing entirely to witness them in person. That’s not to mention the risk of some further away neighbour hearing the commotion echo down the hallway and coming out to see what’s going on. Definitely not the kind of first meeting they’re keen on having.

All these thoughts rush through their head at once as they desperately try to gain enough composure to reach down and grab their keys with their clean hand. Ultimately, of course, they fail. Another volley of sneezes soaks through their sleeve, barely muffled by the fabric. In a last-ditch attempt at control, they quickly pinch their nose shut. They resist the urge to wince at the moisture; this action will only buy a few precious seconds and comes with a price, so they focus on the keys, then unlocking the door as quick as they can.

They get in and fall back against the door, slamming it shut. A powerful, wrenching sneezes rips through them, throwing them off balance. It’s somehow even messier than the others and followed by another just as terrible, then another. Now they allow themselves to sink to the floor, relinquishing all control to their body’s inane and insistent response to the season’s flora. Leaning against the door, they’re faintly aware how audible they must still be from outside, but don’t have it in them to care about that. All they can feel is the dizzying relief of release, release which they don’t even bother trying to cover now that no one can see them. They’ll need plenty of cleanup once the fit is over—assuming it’s not as endless at it feels—but that doesn’t matter either. The only thing that matters now is the burning need to sneeze and sneeze and sneeze until their body is either satisfied the pollen it so vehemently objects to is out of their system, or is too exhausted to continue—and hopefully not a second longer.

[thatweirdsideblog]

Being able to see exactly what’s making them sneeze gets me, like—seeing dust in the sun beams, or pollen clinging to the flower petals, or dander floating in the air and suddenly their nose itches just that much more. hot, 

[thatweirdsideblog]

“You’re very sweet when you’re sick.”

[thatweirdsideblog]

Haughty, snarky, arrogant character who is really putting up a facade to mask their own insecurities is just laid low by allergies or something else that’s making them sneeze 

Each quip interrupted by frantic hitching they can’t control

Their carefully crafted unbreakable persona sniffly and watery-eyed and itchy 

All of carefully masked insecurities bubbling to the surface as their guard is down when they’re not feeling well, hopefully to be met with a caretaker who realizes they might be seeing the most honest version of this character 

#perfection

[thatweirdsideblog]

thinking about the sneeze that breaks the dam. like the first sneeze of an oncoming cold that starts off a dripping nose or the first failed stifle of the day that sets off a desperate, itching fit.