the-ravkan-times
the-ravkan-times
THE RAVKAN TIMES
A completely unbiased newspaper. Catch up with the latest Grishaverse news here. Better than Grishatube and far more accurate.
the-ravkan-times · 3 months ago
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Kaz Brekker, Criminal or Terrorist?
The infamous Kaz Brekker has been seen meeting David Kostyk, well known Grisha Durast. Rumor has it that these two gifted young men are planning on assassinating the King. Still go be confirmed, we are currently attempting to retrieve more information that could potentially save the king.
Stay tuned for more on Grishatube.
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the-ravkan-times · 3 months ago
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THIS JUST IN!
Kaz and Inej were found in bed by themselves. Kaz is said to have not been wearing a shirt. Stuff was steamy and romantic, until Nikolai barged in to wish them. It is reported that Nikolai Lantsov has been given a very cruel dare to follow everyone's orders. This has lead to a shirtless Kaz and Inej having a hole through their ceiling, a broken window and having songs sung in their honor. They have currently been shifted to the Iris suits of the Grand Palace.
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the-ravkan-times · 3 months ago
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THE MENAGERIE ON FIRE
Tante Heleen is known for being a rich, independent woman who, unfortunately, happens to be a thousand times worse than Cruella De Vil.
Easily distinguished by her bright peacock feather dress and infamous diamond choker, Heleen Van Houden has made her money through illegal slave trade. Her brothel, The Menagerie, also known as the House Of Exotics, had whores from many races imprisoned in a gilded cage thanks to endless unfair indentures. Her reign of injustice continued until Nikolai and Nina decided to blow something up.
It was a simple day, and Nikolai was bored. So he decided it was time to "fuck shit up". Nina Zenik agreed to help the young King. In the beginning, their plans were simple. Take a bit of Cesium and blow up a small pond. Then it became a canal. Then it became the part of the West Stave canal in front of The Menagerie. Then it became The Menagerie itself. Soon joined by other Grishatube members, the planning had begun. However, along the journey, the plan was trashed and the crew ended up improvising their way to flames.
Initially, Nina was to pretend that she was one of Heleen's girls and get her an invite to Nikolai and Zoya's engagement ball (which was a sham of course...), inviting her and asking her to "rent" all her girls for the ball, even going so far as to offer her a million kruge. Heleen, however, declined the offer and a new invite was sent offering her two million. Heleen declined the offer once more. Consequently, Nina nearly blew her cover by screaming wild things at her.
This is where the improvisation began.
Nikolai had to go there himself. He made a ridiculously dramatic entrance ( seriously dude?) and started flirting with Heleen. Heleen flirted back and attempted to seduce him. Luckily, Nikolai knew this. Unluckily? He needed to act seduced. You heard right.
When the deal was done, Heleen had sent all the girls and guards to the embassy and then proceeded cuff one of Nikolai's hands (where did your thoughts go? There? Yeah that's it) with a set of her golden handcuffs.
In a desperate attempt to stop Heleen, Nikolai became a demon. This did not stop her. What actually stopped her was Nina appearing out of the blue and knocking her out. Later, an extremely shaken Nikolai dressed and left for the ball with Nina.
Simultaneously, Kaz Brekker and David Kostyk had broken into the Menagerie and later Inej joined them. They tied Heleen to a chair. David began setting up the Greek fire that would burn Menagerie down.
Nina and Nikolai, meanwhile, got to the party. Nikolai talked and distracted the guests with his intelligence and charm. Nina, on the other hand, explained the girls the situation and helped them dress as guest. They were later ushered outside and onto a ferry to nowhere. Nikolai took his leave under the illusion he was going to search for his beloved Zoya. He rushed out to the port amd searched for Nina. Turns out, the original plan involved him taking the girls on the Volkvony. Consequently, Nina had to pay the ferryman double to get the girls off the boat. She whined about thia to Nikolai, who paid her 10 times the amount to shut her up. The girls were later taken to Os Alta. Nina remained in Ketterdam.
Meanwhile, at The Menagerie, Heleen had woken up muttering of her fantasies with Nikolai. She then realised she was tied to the chair in her office with Inej Ghafa and Kaz Brekker waiting for her. The couple were on the receiving end of her villainous monologue. Inej proceeded to list of Heleen's crimes (wow, the execution was proper). Heleen adopted a smug mask, pretending that she was anything but afraid afraid. I'm reality, she was pretty damn scared. She tried to shrug it off, insulting Inej by calling her "Kaz's whore". Kaz reminded her that Inej belonged to no one and continued to say that she was going to hell and Inej to heaven. Later, Inej had put one of her knives at Heleen's throat and asked herself if she should give her a merciful death or leave her to burn alive. She chose the latter (we stan) and but injured Heleen for good measure.
The Menagerie was set on fire. Through the powerful flames Brekker, in all his dramatic glory, said "I'll meet you in hell Heleen" and left with Inej out the window.
As the Menagerie burnt, melting gold wrapped around the cursed building. Fames soared in a in a golden halo, freeing anyone and everyone who once was trapped there. Out of this blazing inferno, a man walked out. David looked up at the burning building, just staring for a moment; proud of his hard work. If not for him, the while plan would have been folly.
It has been reported the girls were given proper accomodations in the Grand Palace and scouts were sent to find the families of those too young or want to go back home. Those who wished to make a living were helped in finding a good job or educational institution at their choice of employment and school.
Enjoyed this article?
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the-ravkan-times · 3 months ago
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Kaz Brekker Impostor Sighting!
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the-ravkan-times · 3 months ago
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This Just in!
A man was seen to be parading around the Barrel dressed as the notorious Kaz Brekker. After a... civil talk with the owner of Dian's Bakery, we were shocked to learn that the man placed an order to be delivered to the Slat tomorrow at 2pm sharp!
Nina Zenik, when asked to comment said: "fuck off" implying thst perhaps she is aiding the culprit?
For more News, stay tuned to The Ravkan Times!
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the-ravkan-times · 3 months ago
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Old News on Grishatube?
Now for a recap
3 months ago...
So Nikolai and Nina decided they wanted wanted blow up the Menagerie in the name of Inej who was like "I'm in" and then everyone, even Grumpy Kaz, got invited. Nina failed at getting Heleen that bitcj to agree to send her girls to the fake ball Nik planned so Nikolai had to step in and let Heleen that bitch seduce him. Ew. But hey it worked, she sent the girls to the ball but Nik was left alone with her (oh no). They almost ended up doing the devil's tango but luckily his demon knocked her out.
David layed the bombs with Darkles who cloaked them while Nina and Nikolai smuggled the girls out of a ball the King held for that purpose. Meanwhile, Inej and Kaz tied Heleen that bitch to a chair and tortured her then left her to burn down with her wretched building.
And like Nina got kidnapped like once and pretended to ger kidnapped a second time in an attempt to get Kaz and Inej to play the newlyweds game— big mistake. Why?
Because Kaz's got a stick up his ass and Inej like totally freaked because she's she's nice and she thought Nina's life was in danger.
David and Genya kinda went MIA and who the heck nows where Zoya is but Nikolai was like... everywhere.
So then Nina moved to Ravka but only because she created a monopoly of Waffles. Yep, you heard right folks, not to mention she scammed some pretty important people out of a 40,000 kruge ship.
Anyway moving on, and Inej decided to leave home to hunt slavers but Kaz wasn't too happy with that because he missed her and then Nina went a bit cuckoo and started asking everyone, including the well-renowned restaurant McGrisha's for parem. McGrisha's told us that "we would never sell anyone parem... wait that's it? That's my whole li–"
ANYWAY...
Our favourite Grisha, Nina, ended up on a ship in the midst of her parem-crazed haze and somehow managed to land herself in Fjerda. Nikolai send a legion of Heartrenders to retrieve the mischievous Grisha, only to find they all failed. In the end, if you want something done you might as well do it yourself. Nikolai took this to heart, becoming Sturmhond to raid the ship and save Nina.
Nina calmed down the next morning despite King Nikolai locking her up in his royal Chambers (is something happening there, perhaps?) Sources confirmed that Nina and Inej met up in the middle of this to get waffles (and drunk!) and Inej wasn't wearing her wedding ring on her finger any longer.
Le gasp.
So Kaz and Inej stopped talking as per the latters request, saying that "it hurts too much" in a text to Nina Zenik (we have hackers ok?) who tried getting the couple to talk again.
It is also reported that the Darkling– Nina's adopted dad– also got drunk in the groupchat. Yikes. Keep it up and you aren't becoming King anytime soon, old man. Nikolai ended up telling Darkles Sparkles the story of Zoyalai (we ship) and their date then a bunch of drunkards had a ton of milk and threw up and had more milk and them BAM sober.
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Article by Ash
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the-ravkan-times · 3 months ago
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One post and this paper is already completely unreliable.
Why would you say so? If we have reported incorrect information, please do inform us. We'll rectify the situation.
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the-ravkan-times · 3 months ago
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According to our sources, they were having marital problems three months ago when Mr. Ghafa-Brekker refused to come to an agreement with Mrs. Ghafa-Brekker regarding her slave-hunting time
Update: Kanej broke up or are taking a break
- Ninaa
Glad to report this is a lie, actually.
@unbrekker​ @thesaintswraith​
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the-ravkan-times · 3 months ago
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WELCOME!
The Ravkan Times is a newspaper/blog dedicated to providing you with the latest Grishaverse news in the most accurate and positive fashion.
From the latest tragedies and comedies of @grishatube to Leigh being a queen, you can find good content here. Keep up with the latest drama on Grishatube, ask questions and share your thoughts. We will be bringing forth new updates and changes soon!
Have a nice day!
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