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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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This is why your narcissistic parent is never going to change:
Change requires self criticism, they're not able to criticize themselves . They think that their views are always right. They don't challange their own views of the world and their place in it.
Don't bother yourself asking for them to change. Give them natural consequences for their behaviour and grow yourself.
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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Abusers know what they’re doing is wrong. Why else would they go to such lengths to hide what they’re doing to you? Why else would they get so defensive when you question them or call them out for their abuse? Wouldn’t a truly ignorant, but good person listen when you told them that the way they’re treating you hurts, and try to fix it? Abusers have a firm grasp in reality; they just choose to stay in their own twisted delusions so they can abuse with no qualms.  
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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Narcissists groom you to become hyper-aware of your own minor (or non-existent) wrongdoings, while actively dismissing anything that they themselves are doing wrong. First they relocate blame—then, your conscience does the rest of the work for them. Narcissists are experts at blaming others, while…
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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Triggers aren’t always obvious and your responses to things that remind of abuse may not be what you expect.
Sometimes you feel bad or uneasy without knowing why. Or you feel overwhelmed and sick out of the blue and it disappears as quickly as it appears, leaving you clueless as to what just happened.
Sometimes the trauma response is stored in your body instead of your mind and you don’t even realize you are being triggered.
Here are some physical sensations that may happen when something reminds you of your trauma or when someone’s words/behaviors remind you of your parents’ abuse style:
You may feel sleepy all of a sudden, as though your body is trying to shut down to escape
Your heart rate, blood pressure, pulse, and breathing rate may increase (fight or flight, adrenaline response)
You may feel hot as though you have a fever or you may feel chilled as though the temperature just dropped
Your palms may become clammy or you may sweat
You may shiver or shake, hands becoming unsteady
Your whole body may ache, your joints might stiffen, a random muscle or body part may hurt or twitch or tingle or go numb for no apparent reason, with the pain going away just as randomly
You may feel dizzy or lightheaded, or have a sudden stomachache or feel like you’re going to throw up
Your throat may feel tight, your lips tingling or quivering, you may feel a lump in your throat as though an object you can’t swallow away is lodged firmly in your flesh
You may feel tearful without tears spilling over, or may cry without noticing any particularly strong emotion
Your surrounding sensory stimulation may become suddenly overwhelming out of all proportion to how you normally process sensory input, without you having overexerted yourself or without any buildup in exposure to strong sensory experiences;
for example, you may be at home, relaxed, when there’s an unexpected knock on your door and suddenly you’re too aware of everything around you noticing things you don’t normally and not able to tune things out
Or conversely, you may go numb, your senses dulled, your mind blank every time you talk to a particular coworker
These are not exhaustive but may help you realize other things that are triggers if you pay attention to signals your body is sending you
-kitten
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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My life changed when I learned that my procrastination habits are because of anxious avoidance and not because I'm being lazy.
Severe trauma messes with your nervous system in such a way that even small tasks are overwhelming and stressful, so your mind will do everything to avoid them. Knowing this helped me be more compassionate to myself.
I hope this realization helps someone.
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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Imagine you have an injury such as a cut, scrape, or broken bone.
Imagine what it would be like to have that same injury inflicted over and over.
Now imagine if that injury filled your entire mind, body, and spirit.
That’s what having cPTSD is like.
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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Fucking A
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🦋💞💖🦋
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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“America is a money printer that runs on blood”
Spotted in Boston, Massachusetts
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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International Women’s Day posters, from the AOUON Archive at the Oakland Museum of California.
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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^^^^^^^
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yes
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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Forms of self harm you probably see or engage in but don’t realize
smoking cigarettes
drinking too much
eating things you know will make you sick
skipping your meds
being around people who make you miserable
seeking out/engaging with bigotry on the internet to ultimately make yourself upset
exposing yourself to your triggers
engaging with media that upsets you 
exposing yourself to potentially dangerous situations (ex: going for walks in the middle of the night with the thought that you could be potentially hurt)
not eating/drinking
seeking out sexual relationships that you know will leave you feeling unhappy or self conscious
practicing unsafe sex
getting so high you cant function
overexercising or staying in bed all day
isolating yourself from people who make you happy
putting yourself down
asking (as in literally) for criticisms that you know will not be productive, but will upset you. (ex: posting on r/roastme when you know the comments will upset you, making a “do i pass” post in an environment where people will ostracize you for not “passing”)
Binding/tucking when it is uncomfortable
Picking at your face and skin
Seeking validation through sex
Skipping therapy, rejecting help that you want and need
Depriving yourself of warmth/intimacy
Instead of seeking attention healthily by asking, dredging up drama or arguments with your loved ones to get it. (Attention seeking is perfectly normal, and seeking negative attention is normal too, but not healthy.) 
Calling yourself a “transtrender” “not black enough” “Faking mental illness” “LUG” etc… and invalidating your own identity and struggles. 
Overspending Please remember that self harm is not something to be ashamed of, but something to grow from as you learn healthy ways to cope with your natural human need for love, attention and respect. Please notice these things and teach yourself not to bully yourself. So many people engage in these behaviours, and they are very hard to confront and move away from. You are not weak or wrong for how you are suffering. 
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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Damn fine.
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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Look at this adorable friend I made today. He kept giving me dirty looks. Listen pal.... I get it.
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the-realist-rebel · 3 years
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I’m slowly backing away from the sesspool that is Instagram and reestablishing myself. A lot of that involves oversharing and thank god no one reads my shit
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