the-world-according-to-my-eyes

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

Soooo ready for this to arrive this year!

#explore #uk #photography #adventure #findmethere #findmehere #wanderlust

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

#explore #uk #findmehere

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

I’ve learnt more about myself this year than I expected, how I protect my mind from wandering too far in the wrong direction and sometimes that means convincing myself of some things I know deep down aren’t true. I know I’m generally more of a realist and this self defence mechanism completely contradicts that, it leads me to putting myself down and making excuses for things that just aren’t meant to be but somehow it keeps me from ever really getting low, I guess I’m at the point where I’ve acceptance for disappointment and expect it. I still have hope and I don’t try to force anything, if it’s meant to be then it will be.

Find me being genuine and trying to bring a bit of decency to those that come in to my world, even for the briefest of moments.

#findmehere #explore #uk #music #mymind #photography #adventure #findmethere #wanderlust

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

Could have stayed here all day, left with a head full of ideas and an evening to remember!

#findmehere

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

Stupidly happy adventuring in this shitbox the summer, making the most of it this time around!

#findmehere

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

One of my favourite parts of the year…

#findmehere

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

Rare that I take any photos of myself, even more rare that I like any of them.

#findmehere #once a year

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

It’s been a good year so far, a lot going my way and I seem to have a path to follow for the near term, then again anything beats last year. I really can’t complain…. but there is this overwhelming feeling of being lost that has become more and more frequent recently. I can’t seem to pin it to anything and it never really lasts but it worries me, I can usually distract myself before getting to that point. I moved house at the start of this year and for the first time in my life I’m living by myself, I’ve always said I can exist with my own company better than most but all that headspace is proving to be much more of a battle than I ever anticipated, so it’s no surprise I’ve been at work for as long as I can to try and postpone the inevitable feeling when it all goes quiet. Self doubt/confidence is something I’ve always struggled with, leaving myself suppressed in certain situations/relationships and not pursuing people I’m interested in because I’ll talk myself out of it and find reasons it wouldn’t work based on my flaws. I have a mix of traits which only fuel the fire leading to dark place I get lost in, stubbornness being the worst and knowing all this should be enough not to keep falling for the same trap…. so why isn’t it?

I feel the want to be in a relationship again, to feel love and it’s insanely frustrating knowing I’m the one stopping that from happening, I just can’t find a way around it. Am I better off letting fate do it’s thing and stop trying? I guess if I have all this self doubt then it would be unfair to start a relationship in the first place, it’s just the feeling of emptiness that really pulls me under.

I hope I can look back on this knowing the fear and doubt was misplaced, I just can’t see it right now.

#findmehere

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

Not difficult to tell that I’m going through my old throwaway shots. Addicted to these scenes!

#findmehere

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

#findmehere

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

As always in the British winter time, I’m craving this!

#findmehere

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

#find me here

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

A year of even more change, challenges and a little added pressure awaits. No idea where I'll be in 12 months' time but I'm looking forward to finding out!

#findmehere #lakedistrict #uk #djiair2s #happyplace

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

It’s been a while.

Got taken in by the comfort of familiarity over the last few months and although it was probably needed I think it’s time to feel like I’m actually alive and not just coasting through life. Time to embrace the uncertain once again!

#find me here

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

I thought I'd prepared myself for what was coming and that I knew just how much it would hurt but I was wrong. Going back and forth to the hospice for the last 5 long weeks knowing there was only one outcome but not knowing when it would hit, the good days giving us misguided hope and the bad ones filling us with the dread that we had tried to subdue.

I'm glad we were all there at the end, holding his hands hoping he knew we were there and it was some comfort to him. All of us listening to his laboured breathing at 4am in the dark hospice ward not knowing how long he would have to suffer through it, the gaps where he would miss a breath, we would all sit up and look at each other in the loudest of silences before he finally took his next breath until at some point there was no next breath. Watching my sisters completely fall to pieces was the hardest part it was utterly heartbreaking and within the next few hours, the finality of it all really took hold, leaving with all his belongings and a feeling of emptiness that isn't fading anytime soon.

My Dad was so strong over the last few years and he fought all the way to the end despite his constant pain. He gave me so much and some of the best life experiences that you could ever imagine, I will never forget how kind he was and how he would do whatever he could to help us. I'll always go back to our drives around the lakes or us flying over the African wilderness together, you really were one of a kind. I love you Dad, thank you for everything.

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

Didn’t quite get to the coast for sunset but can’t complain with the views!

#explore #uk #photography #adventure #findmehere

[the-world-according-to-my-eyes]

"Please stop tryin' to impress people who don't care about you"

Turn it up loud and just drive kind of music.

#findmehere #Spotify